Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #112 | DEAN DELRAY | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: November 3, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It’s Wednesday, November 3rd..... This week we talked with the Great, DEAN DELRAY! https://www.deandelray.com https://www.instagram.com/deandelray https://www.twitter.com/deandelray This episode is brought to you by Freeze Pipe, DraftKings….. Go to https://www.TheFreezePipe.com & Enter PROMO CODE: JOEY For 10% OFF your 1st Order! Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook to bet $5 on UFC 268 to win $200 in Free Bets! Go to https://www.Stamps.com Use Promo Code: JOEY for a 4 Week Trial, Free Postage & a Free Digital Scale! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #DeanDelray The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

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that includes a four-week trial free postage and a digital scale no learn long-term commitments or contracts just go to stamps dot com click the microphone at the top of the page and enter code joey stamps dot com never go to the post office again where's my fucking lighter now it's time to get this party started it's the joint on a wednesday morning november 3rd what's happened you bad motherfuckers welcome to the joint it's wednesday the third of mother fucking november november's pushing on guys that's it it's the final fucking run of the year three weeks from tomorrow you got thanksgiving and then what is it four weeks after that won't even give you a fucking chance you fucking wake up you go to the store and you're hearing fucking and so

this is christmas and you're like what the fuck it was just july i was at a baseball game sweating profusely it's a great day i was uh i'm still writing the book god listen the movie came out nothing has happened for me i have not heard from my theatrical agency i don't give a fuck i'm not mad or anything but it's so funny that the only thing i'm working on right now this is giving me a chance to work on this book so i talked to her we talk an hour and a half to an hour on the phone four times a week this book is moving a lot fucking faster than i anticipated we uh like i said i'd cut out you know i would go on these fucking ear beatings and ever since i'm not high all the time anymore now when i do the the i look at the main fucking diagram whatever the thing we did and then

i simplify it i rewrite it and i tell her on the phone and we just go back and forth so the process has been great i'm really happy to do this uh my niece is going through some pictures i used to send her mother pictures for years when i was in colorado and a couple weeks ago she told me she goes i got a bunch of pictures that you and some german shepherd and shit i go oh my god your mom saved those pictures so she's getting all the pictures together for the book and all that so it's coming together great and i got to be honest with you this thing was eating away at me for seven fucking years i couldn't get this done erica has really fucking uh just it's amazing when people know what the fuck they're doing you know what i'm saying like you next time

your car breaks and you're like i'll do it i go on youtube that's great that's great but when your car makes a weird noise don't come crying to me when people know what they're doing they just go right through something she said she i've learned more from her like i guys after working with her i had to stop writing like that's how bad i am it's like when i saw stan hope in 96 and i almost quit comedy because i knew i'd never be so good like as good as he was it's the same fucking thing this chick just simplifies it so we were doing a chapter i want to fill you guys in on this chapter real quick we were doing a chapter on 1998 99 and it was uh the four blocks that's what the chapter's called it's curson vista sierra bonita and uh curson and those are the four blocks from

me stan hope mitch headberg raffy may and josh wolflet you know and we're just going back and forth through the chapter how we were all broke uh raffy was friends with jaymore and jeff ross that was the only hope we ever had again a couple dollars like when they came over if they chipped in 20 like we would eat each shipping like two or three dollars and buy like a turkey so raffy could deep fry it or we buy fucking raffy with deep fry a fucking turkey in his backyard till seven in the morning the thing would be smoking it was it was just he couldn't you know we were broke now let's simplify this it was basically at that time it was me dug raffy josh wolf myself

you know even mitch headberg all of us were broke the only guy that had money any money was dug stan hope he had gotten a ten thousand dollar deal from hbo and that money was probably gone you know he would buy us all sodas and shit like that but we were just six or seven broke comics there were some other comics in the neighborhood that you don't know they got out of the business so they moved away and it was just a life of a fucking comic man it was just so weird to write these this chapter we spent two days on it and just talking about and going back and forth it was like the highlight of my comedy career like if i have to think about the best time i had in the 30 years it was 97 through 2000 right before i met terry i mean when i met terry it was great

too but it was just me alone it was bare bones i was you know like when you have a girlfriend you're doing something it's like she helped me do it i was living with her you know this i was living in a car i was sleeping on raffy mace floor i was living on josh wolf's couch you know josh wolf was living on a fucking budget he had no money and three kids raffy had no money he was living on fucking uh whatever gigs he did not raffy was making a lot more money than me and josh wolf at the time but we were broke you know we were just we were just all we were looking to do was make rent eat and in my world pay child support i wasn't looking to buy cars i wasn't looking to buy clothes in fact i had to decide between socks and underwear what's more important

like when you're a broke comic you have to decide about what do i have money to spend on socks and underwear so i never wore underwear i said fuck it it fits between socks and underwear you can live without fucking underwear but you can't live without socks your sneakers will be all fucking stinky and shit so i would i didn't have underwear guys i would just fucking live i had maybe four pair pants four shirts a pair of sweats a couple t-shirts and swimming shorts that doubled there's you know shorts you know like they just doubled they had no choice you know you didn't have a pair of running sneakers you never pay well these are my state sneakers no one shoe fits all that shoe went to the gym with you that shoe went on the stage with you that shoe if you

put on a suit you had to put sneakers on because you didn't have shoes we were that fucking broke but i never can remember myself being that happy because we were making it happen i was auditioning was i booking no but i wasn't expecting to book it was my first two years here yeah you expected the book because you're a fucking idiot but not because you're any good you're like i got that no you didn't you went in there and fucking blew it you know i had nothing going on except whatever i was making going on so all i had going on was a notebook and the comedy store and occasional spots at the improv and the fucking laugh factory but my life was a comedy store and dog when those we got $15 a set from the comedy store so if you got if i host if

i hosted and did four spots that's $85 a week and i was happy $85 a week was like $10,000 like when i would pick up that $85 for comedy for my comedy come on that was a feeling that you couldn't even like i made $85 this week doing comedy i don't give a fuck about the world i don't give a fuck about taxes i don't give a fuck about anything all i care about is getting on stage getting better and finding a place to sleep doesn't even have to have a blanket that's how bad bones we were we were fucking animals and you know what she asked me at the end of the of the fucking thing she goes Joey from listening to this i mean part of it sounds great but the other the other part of it sounds like you were struggling i go let me tell you something that was the most fun i ever had in

my career was that little fucking time period when we were broke we were just going to Ralphie's eaten we would buy a bottle of like the cheapest vodka like at night the cheapest vodka and he would we'd make bloody marries i never drank a bloody marry my life i don't ever want to drink a bloody marry my life but let me tell you something bitch when you're broke you'll drink that fucking bloody marry with cocaine i was doing bloody marry with cocaine i didn't know if it was blood coming out of my nose or tomato juice i didn't know what the fuck was coming out of my fucking nose but let me tell you something man when i think about those times like when i got off the phone with her i looked at the outline and i'm like i'm saving this fucking outline i'm gonna

frame this fucking outline and sell it because that was the best time of my fucking life we had the sunset grill the song the eagles sing about we had the guitar center we had the flower shop where uh what's his name would buy flowers from Marilyn Monroe we had the creepy comic bookstore nuclear comics whatever that thing and that was our day we just went into those places like we had money like we'd walk and hey what's going on and we looked through shit we used to go into the guitar center and fucking just play the drums and play the guitars the text would come over and let us do shit and they would like fucking after 10 minutes they would just walk away we'd just be making noise it sounded like metallic unplugged if they were drunk and retarded and blind

like we were just horrible but that that area was our fucking playground there was a hotel there on the corner the sahara or something and there was a pimpin there that would get his dick sucked i mean we would go watch him and then he would throw the condoms into the pool and the pool was green and all you would see were these big magnum magnum condoms flitting the fucking thing that was our entertainment there was a gas station that i would sit by the corner and wait for the owner to come out and pump gas because i would run in get a bag of chips in the soda and then put my hand behind the counter and take a pack of marlboro lights when he would come in there would just be i only had a dollar for the water that was it a dollar for the soda i would go in there

every time i was broke and every time he'd be pumping gas i'd run to the fucking gas station grab a water bag that was my breakfast i lived off of wendy's 99 cents cheeseburger junior and and a bowl of chili at that time i would get a bowl of chili for 99 cents a 99 cents junior burger and fries that's what we had three dollars me and josh wolf for josh wolf would make turkey burgers but my point being how no matter how broke i was no matter if i had to sleep on the floor no matter what was going on what adversely was getting thrown at all of us we were having the best time of our life because we were doing it on our own fucking time so if you're one of those people that's thinking of becoming a plumber or an electrician and there's that cold period where you don't have

any money let me tell you something get into it don't worry about that time because you're not going to be broke you have friends and you have people around you and you have other acquaintances that are going through the same fucking struggles and we just made it work it just worked while i was in it i didn't think i was going to get out of it i i was thinking about yesterday like 1999 i never thought i was going to get out of being a feature act fighting to be on the road and all that shit but years later things slowed up i got a job but at that time right then 1999 none of us had money josh wolf was broke all of us and we were just six guys helping each other out you know every once in a while josh wolf would have extra money he'd make us turkey burgers with

mushrooms and onions and shit and that turkey burger was like a fucking lobster tail back then so if you ever thinking of switching careers or getting something where you're gonna be money's gonna be tight for a while don't let it get to you go for it you know why because you're never gonna forget that time that's what's gonna make you a better whatever the fuck you want to do in my case it may be a better comic going through that time period because i know i went through it and i'll never have to be there again and it was just a great time doing it so when i look at my career and i go yeah man i struggled and shit let me tell you something that struggle was fun as fuck when the struggle ended is when it became work and that's why i'm not doing it anymore because

it became work but it was a fun fucking struggle and uh if you ever have the opportunity to look forward to it look forward to it it's gonna make you a strong motherfucker like i told him two nights ago i was in the you know in the basement listening to fucking music and i stumbled upon a supreme song keep me hanging on by the supreme's i think it's a great fucking song it was uh out of motown's biggest height you know and i know a lot of you people go to supreme's what are you thinking joey jesus christ no i'd like the supreme since i was 13 my mother listened to him in a bar and i liked i liked that motown sound you know when i was thinking about it i go there's only one person that would appreciate this music and that's fucking dean delray so i called him up i go dean

i'm listening to the supreme's and i thought of you because dean's a student of the game he likes all fucking music black white chinese he'll find the beauty in it so uh out of respect for him today as a guest is my man dean delray we do our daily little listen no matter what podcast i'm on no matter what what are you guys liking or not dean delray rudy saw as though there's a handful of guys that come on my podcast between 90 and 120 days because i miss them sick little beyond soon you know people like that i miss these guys so i hope you enjoy it dean delray so oh shit welcome to the mother fucking joint cocksucker there he is the fucking star of the

sopranos film what's going on the star i got shot in the fucking head by uh by alex baldwin that motherfucker shot me with a prop gun that cocksucker if you see me getting shot in the head you could tell i didn't know nobody knew what was going on they just shoot me in the head that's fucking uh alex baldwin that was driving on a bicycle eating a bag of potato chips with the fucking prop gun in his pocket little clam dip and everything what's going on brother oh man you know just back from vegas after 14 shows out there at the comedy cellar that's about it that looked fucking great i was looking at your pictures and you brought the dog with you you had the whole fucking family out there didn't you yeah i just kept thinking to jerry go don't bring

your fucking dog everywhere fucking dog jesus christ i went trick or treating the other day 40 fucking kids and the one guy says to me hold on our friend is coming he's running late and he shows up with a fucking 90 pound dog and with trick or treatment and the whole time i'm like you know there's always that one jerk off that tries to take attention from the kids it's about the kids leave the fucking dog at home they put like a superman costume on him or some shit the fuck is wrong with you with a superman costume on a fucking dog and the dogs are half a frag to boot like if he was a tough dog or a pit bull with a beard then i'd be in but he's a fucking fruit cake the dog with a beer yeah like you know i want to see a fucking animal missing

an eye that's the one you put a superman fucking suit on something in the stick when he was a puppy or some shit yeah hell yeah hell yeah there's two ideas what's happening brother oh man i fucking you know i was in vegas and i had this guy on josh freeze who's one of the biggest drummers on the planet playing with nine inch nails and weezer and and uh divo oh everyone and so he's like hey i'm playing with sting i have him on the podcast and he goes we're gonna be doing a dress rehearsal wednesday at scissors come by so i go down to the theater and it's just me and like ten people watching sting and his whole band just fucking kill it dude two feet away he's like fist bumping man shit how does this thing sound dude he sounded unreal 70 years old he looked great he sounded

great they're playing some great police clacks classics like walking on the moon you know oh man you know a couple weeks ago on patreon i gave out synchronicity uh it was one of the albums of the week and i went three years ahead because i was like you know what this is an album that people need to listen to yeah like you wouldn't go to the store and buy the police unless you're a police fan now i don't walk around with police shirts do i you don't see no fucking they got like three albums that aren't good they're deadly yeah like you like you too i'm not a youtube fan okay i'm not a youtube fan i like them but when it comes to fucking that one album they put on 87 oh man there's just some albums that people need to fucking have in their life and i feel bad when they don't have that

particular album those like eat a peach is a necessary album you know fucking uh supertramp breakfast over america yeah it's a shit you know i'm saying like there's just certain albums that you have to have certain books you're not a fan of that author but they they knocked it out of the park on that particular so i get i don't like sting as a human being i have my issues with him really yeah but he broke up the world's greatest fucking trio yeah over his fucking ego yeah you know so him there's like two or three guys him and roger waters when it comes to me they fall into that you ruined one of the greatest things pink floyd and the fucking police yeah when it comes to music or two of the greatest fucking genres they're phenomenal yeah and the thing is

it's so fucking hard it takes a million things in the world to line up for a band to be supergroup you know you gotta find you gotta meet each other then you gotta you know get into a studio write songs record then the people gotta like you and when it all happens and then one guy's like i'm out of here it's like dude you know how fucking hard it is to do that we need that you know it's like a mono lisa yeah they don't come around every week you know i i still remember going to see the police and what i remembered vividly i saw the police early on yeah same early like eighth grade type shit and then i saw him again in 81 or something 82 right yeah 82 ghost in the machine ghost in the machine i saw and what i can remember the most and you hate to admit it to people yeah

like you hate to say it because people think you're a fucking nerd that steward copeland whatever his fucking name was yeah he was hitting those drums it's like missing persons when you go see missing persons she was hot she had those little bite-sized titties and all that but what i remember is that little motherfucker basio yeah destroying those drums like you could hear the like you're like what's that feeling in my back it's the fucking drums going through my spine yeah it's such a great feeling when you go see a good drummer live like you don't know what a good drummer is until you go see that motherfucker live and he starts dropping this shit on you so yeah yeah his drummer josh frees you know he's uh i've known him for 35 years and this guy is a monster player man you do yourself

a favor and put in josh frees nine inch nail drum videos like so he set up these drum cams when he was in nine inch nails and your fucking hair is gonna blow back off of the youtube video you're like that max l guy you know like oh fuck i mean that is how intense this guy is on the drums he is a monster man i love all that shit you know i i loved i love the bands that i love you know like the jews frees and allison chains yeah we accept those but then there's these other bands that you're not a huge fan of you just pay attention to them like i have my a band and then i got my b bands who might be bands ufo yeah uh fucking the pretenders oh yeah the police yeah b-52s are uh i'm a cusp they're like first team all american and second team all american i just got them floating

like limbo but i think they're great there's so many little bands that you have like that you too you know uh i love you would mac oh it's not my favorite band but if you put on rumors or task or whatever the fuck steve nick solo or lindsey buckingham solo i'm in i find it entertaining it's not i'm not losing my fucking mind over but that doesn't mean you shouldn't listen to it like the other night you know what made me call you the other night but you're on the podcast what i was listening to the fucking supreme's oh man you know oh i i didn't know like when i was a kid my mom would listen to that music in the bar when she would play cards the supreme's were on and i i don't know it's like yeah they were a chick band whatever and then you hear them on the radio

and you're like whatever you know motown but then you see like that documentary oh man on motown on the section and they wrote songs and you watch the fucking uh rick james documentary he talks about working at motown and yeah getting in there with diana ross and stevy wonder like when stevy wonder was on fire and then when i was funny you mentioned the soprano when i was in new york city one sunday night i worked but i wrapped early and i went to my you know when you get to your hotel room you know what to do you turn the tv on you throw the remote on the bed and you start you know you jump in the shower you get your sweats on whatever i was watching uh motown's tribute to berry gordy oh yeah killer and diana ross was the host i don't know what happened like the show

wasn't it didn't come out as planned so diana ross had to take over the show and i'll tell you what she was singing and dancing and fucking fucking around and she actually sat on his lap and sang him a song and that's the first time i realized how fucking talented she really fucking was oh man but when you hear like uh keep me hanging on yeah oh my god the fucking guitars on there her voice her voice is of an angel in that fucking jam i mean she really has a great voice on there it's uh i love talent oh god yeah right it's amazing when you watch somebody talented and you go wow that person is very fucking talented at what he's doing your dick gets hard my dick gets hard you know i mean when you and i were in detroit we did that casino i got up early and

popped an uver over to uh you know motown to hitsfield there usa the historic house where they had the recording studio it's just a little box it's basically a garage and you're like whoa this is where all those songs were recorded and then next door is where they wrote them it was like hitsfield you know then they they then they kept growing and they got another house next door to that where they taught the dance moves and then they got another house next to that where they made the outfits and and everything it was wild to see and the the history in that place floored me and it was sold out and i was like oh you understand i do a huge podcast i i i gotta get in here i've got to see this and the lady rolled me in man it was great oh man you know

that david rutherford the temptations that guy is a god to me and i'll watch that garbage little vh1 temptations film every time it's on five fucking hours five fucking hours when they stop at the woman's house and eat oh and she cooks for them and shit every time they're in town i'm in just i watch it too it's always on uh that champ vh1 yeah it's always on vh1 it's on once a week the temptations or the jacksons yeah and those dudes had played the guys were like when you look at it you go like oh that's him i mean those guys killed it those actors bro the dude who played david ruffin unbelievable park the dude who played eddie kendricks knocked it out of the park i think i gotta be honest with you like i love black Sabbath i love Led Zeppelin i love van halen

but a powerful fucking group is the temptations oh my god the best temptations were fucking powerful when you think about when i think about powerful bands i think about the temptations there's one of the band that was just in the tip of my tongue that's a soul band like earth wind fire oh earth fire they put a show on that was fucking tremendous and they were great musicians and you go and you kind of fucking entertain you're like i was listening to i think what i put on two weeks ago and it was fucking phenomenal the funk the best of the comedores oh on youtube and i was i just was writing something i had shit to do i had to send bills and i put on the best of the comedores brick house all that shit those songs he wrote that he gave to catty rogers oh i was

thinking about that period with him how hot he was hello is it me you're looking for and the blind girls like no i don't see a dick no you're supposed to see a dick you're blind i remember when i was i was uh taking singing lessons that was the one that had me sing every week the old lady on the piano she said let's give this one a shot again i'm like hello is it me you're looking for i'm all shy and six great if i wonder where you're now you know she's like he was on fucking fire too like people really don't understand when musicians go on fire like i was raised during elton john's fire like that motherfucker him it was like him versus paul mccartney when i was growing up paul will come out with some little

love songs fucking elton john would say take this cucksucker philadelphia freedom yeah john would turn i mean paul mccartney would turn around with live and let die and elton john would say take this cucksucker yeah you know your song you know yeah elton john was on fire when i was a fucking kid fire and then people liked him then they found that he was gay yeah people like fuck that gay dude and i'm like a fuck him is right i'm gonna keep listening to him give me the fucking albums i love i got goodbye yellow brick road from somebody masterpiece that album because he was gay he's like this gay thing out of my house i'm like fucking sure uh on a double funeral for a friend fuck oh i don't care if he's dead now i love elton john i fucking love elton john i'm doing a whole

my whole 10 minute closer is about people who are homophobic or racist but they'll watch football and go see elton john i'm like fuck those people you know what i mean no mba finals for you ever you know what i mean i'm not racist or homophobic when i see a gay guy singing i fucking love it i love all those gay dudes i don't give but what was the other guy when we were kids i like freddy mercury yeah freddy murky was bad to the bone i listen if you don't think i knew rob howford was gay from the first time i saw that motherfucker in november of 79 in other words you got another thing coming yeah right because well you grew up in the suburbs if you didn't know he was gay that's all there is to it i fucking love when i saw rob howford was

gay i'm like this motherfucker's gay the first time i saw him he had a whip in his hand yeah listen you there's yeah there's two times when it's time to run when you see a gay guy with a whip or you see a gay guy with a whistle that means your asshole's about to get busted you understand me so when i saw him with the whip i was like oh my god i'm like wait a second he ain't gonna whip me with this fucking thing let me enjoy this show i was dead by myself yeah and i remember going home going yeah he's gay but that's got nothing to do with me yeah that's got nothing to do with me i'm into this music i'm not homophobic i don't give a fuck if he's fucking gay sing it with that sperm breath remember when we were kids everybody kept saying that rod stewart the stomach got down

the gay in san francis everybody had a friend that was there yeah like my friend was in the hospital room when they brought fucking rod stewart and they pumped the stomach full of nine ounces of sperm he blew eight guys get the fuck out of here then there was the one about richard gear that he was in the hospital they took a mouse out of his ass in san francisco where's the fucking affidavit let me see the fucking affidavit let me see the mouse holding onto his nose i know if i was a mouse and they put me up somebody's ass i wish i have some fucking anti-covid nose trips i don't understand how something like that takes traction too because that fucking myth went across the world i mean that's way before there's no internet you barely had a

home phone it was like dude you hear about rod stewart it wasn't on the radar the dj didn't come in this in rod just drank 12 ounces of sperm and he's getting his stomach but that it just you were at the locker and the guy's like you hear about rod last night at the cow palace and you're like what oh yeah that pump his stomach you're like how did that fucking get traction joey how did that get traction going it went for years i felt fucking crazy and i got sick of it like i saw richard gear in the city and let me tell you at the time when i saw richard i wanted to beat him up because every chick i was in love with one of the suck richard gears that they wanted nothing to do with me so i had a personal vendetta for richard gear and i saw him

one then i'm like this is my night to kill him but he had people around him and shit like that he didn't look gay yeah and then i saw office and the gentleman i gave him a pass i go you know what he's a good dude let me give him a pass and me and richard have been tight ever since i've never met him but we've been tight ever since i got nothing against him and i don't give a fuck if they found the mouse in his ass with scott's tape on his fingers what's that got to do with me and my love for his films i don't give a fuck one of my favorite tv one of the funniest shows of all time was that gay show on mbc donald gregg whatever with the fucking chick darman is a darman gregg i never saw that the other one the other one darman gregg was a long

fucking time ago no uh the one on mbc and they just rebooted it they brought it back oh boson buddies no boson fucking buddies remember that yeah tom hanks he's from boson buddies and then becomes the biggest star in the world willing grace oh i never saw it oh my god that show is fucking funny that little chick all four of them are fucking funny the two but the two that are supposed to not be this it's the only show where the two stars aren't funny that's how we describe that show the two fucking cast members are hysterical the gay guy and the chick i got to work with the chick on that what was that show late night that i did like children's hospital yeah memory yeah i remember that yeah like a cartoon network yeah and i got to do like a

mafia episode me the dude from the sport show with the rock henry winkler the fonds was there i got they were fonsi mega malelli that my episode was fucking fire sour goose from lorraine and charlie whatever laverne charlie yeah yeah it was fire my fucking episode it was just a 15 minute episode i think i worked on it for three days and it was christmas week like we worked on it to the 24th so they threw like two days it was like the perfect job like i i was telling somebody before that my busy time is after thanksgiving and before christmas that's when i do my best acting that's when if i'm gonna act that year i'll get my best auditions and that was one year that came in like on the 18th of december and i shot the 19th 20th straight to like the 23rd 24th and they

said for shooting we're gonna give you two extra days of production i was like dog i can use this money looks like i'm snorting on new year's eve thank you yeah and then i did another movie i did that dark night promo oh yeah that was before christmas and when i wrapped they had a uh ralph loren suit on me or something that was really nice and i was eyeballing it to steal it like i'm like i'm gonna steal this suit for christmas yeah you know fuck the grinch and i fucking as i was taking the suit i hung it up i go i'm not gonna steal the suit what's matter with me joey you gotta get away from that shit and i walked out the door and lady goes hey man do you want to buy the suit and i go how much for the suit because we just bought it this morning

give us 1200 wow whoa and i go can you take it out of my check and they were like hold on and they talked for like five minutes and they came back and they said hey man you did a good job today merry christmas wow killer i still got the suit it's fucking nine sizes too big it was when i was 400 pounds i don't think you could have this this got this like a curtain jacket here there's no way we gotta evade that uncle joey's suit man we get some money fucking suit from super batman the dark night and shit like that was a lot of fun man we're having a lot of fun lately i haven't taken guitar lessons in like three weeks we've both been busy he's got a bad weeks i'm still playing the guitar so what i started doing at night because i got bored with just playing

the guitar by myself was doing what i did was as a kid with an egg guitar only with a guitar yeah yeah like i put our song on like i my favorites uh like i could actually play a little bit of rotten apple oh wow but not great i could just do the rhythm section of it so i'll play over the music and shit like that but man i've been getting discouraged lately it's discouraging have you heard cantrell's solo record that just came out what i did here wow i thought it's fucking fire i have not heard it at all but i heard it's fucking fire we have bright man oh what a great fucking record dude you know i fall in love with jerry cantrell like he's great jerry cantrell's one of those guys that keeps sending you roses yeah but you kind of don't like him you're like uh pass

you know keep your fucking roses uh every week he sends you a dozen roses and you're like i'm not interested in this fucking guy but i'll read the card then you one week you read the card one week you smell him one week you go what a pretty boss you know like there's all these fucking things that make you want and then eventually you know after two years you kind of like i'm like i went to the north bergen carnival where i'm from yeah and i saw the kid he's a young kid but he's the guy that turned me on to allison chains wow i was in jersey doing comedy he came to one of the shows like you know allison chains like i know down in the hole he's like nah you gotta fucking do this you gotta do that you gotta listen to this and i saw him at the corner he's all grown up now

i'm like hey man thank you for turning me on to allison chains you get that exclusive fucking yeah you were the one that was like take that fucking ac dco man music off put on allison chains i had like let that be rock on us some shit grandpa rock i hang out with his older brother and he was like take that shit off you gotta listen to allison chains so he's the i mean i was into them i i was into sound garden i lived in seattle yeah i knew who allison chains was but they scared me because the waitress at giggles used to always invite me to go do hat harrowing up at capitol hill with a singer yeah lane the singer lane had like an open house like you could just show up put out your arm and somebody would hit you with a fucking needle well i wanted to

meet him in the worst way like i wanted to meet those guys you know sound garden uh pearl jam i saw eddie veta one morning eating breakfast on alkai yeah outside of adina he's eating but the glass was right there no exaggeration he must have 400 people hitting on the glass oh pushing other people and he's sitting there just fucking laughing and then he used to hang out with the pitcher rodney mcdowell or one of those guys guy on the mariners or something i don't know if he was on the mariners i forgot what team he was on but when we used to hang out at the comedy underground the comedy underground is downstairs from a bar yeah and that's where all the baseball players hang out that was a great great fucking place where we used to do comedy because it was right

down the block from the stadium so the seahawks would be in there and the mariners would always be in there i don't know how many nights i went in there and saw you know everybody upstairs you know yeah i love the pacific northwest man you know what man i'm not allowed back in there i was just up there dude i'm going back uh next week the 11th and 12th and doing bend oregon or portland oregon and uh you know i love it up there it's got something up there i go up there it's got a calming effect well i heard somebody was just in portland the last two weekends or three weekends yeah and they made some comments how rough the city is now and uh there's some craziness going on downtown you know the city of portland but i gotta be honest with

you i cut my comedy teeth in oregon you know i went from boulder to seattle and seattle is washington so you do comedy in the surrounding states and i tell you man bend is a fucking tremendous town it's second only the boulder wow really well yeah you haven't been to bend no bend is baby boulder whoa bend is where everybody from boulder went once it got too creepy and boulder like boulder still has that essence but not really like it money has taken over it you know they don't give a fuck about the hippies anymore yeah but bend oregon bend oregon has a coffee shop that they do comedy at yeah fucking music they got everything in them i can't wait to go and they got the last blackbuster there it's still open did you see that there's a documentary on it

but it's still up some lady i guess owns it and still license the name and it's the last blockbuster so i shot the thing i shot the thing i was like get the fuck out of that blockbuster and come down and see some comedy man this ain't the 80s blockbuster blockbuster still up in portland one uh in bend the last one in bend i guess the documentary is called the last blockbuster i haven't seen it yet but i need to see that for comedy take a look at it i love bend i love grants pass yeah fucking that story oregon i've been to when we ashlyn oregon ashlyn oregon is where they do the fake shakespeare festival every summer all summer long so the hotel does comedy once a week no and they don't put tv's in the whole tower room that's great you just sit in the whole

tower room you're like what the fuck's going on and if you call the front desk you're like listen man i got up to my room and there's no tv in here the people will say we don't put tv's in the room but if you want one come down and get one they have the little prison ones like the one i had in prison little black and white ones with channels and an am radio next to it they have that so you gotta watch tv like on a little i ate the biggest bag of dicks in ashlyn oregon like one of those lifesaving sets that you're thinking about getting a job at subway when you get off the stage you're like oh yeah work yeah i used to fucking do comedy all over oregon when i lived in seattle you gotta drive down there and it's great i love that portland portland's a great city and i love

portland became like portland was a sleepy city and the last 10 years they really picked up you and i did that helium up in portland great i fucking loved that room that is great management great food that's the first time and i'll be honest with you guys here i had ranch dressing oh joey joey there and stress hater oh i know you gotta come clean with the peeps you got a clean look you're already here first let me tell you something i'm a stoner guys yeah and i react to whatever i smoke you ready for this mic these motherfucker and let me tell you the story it's in between no it's like the feature act is up so i'm saying yeah i could walk out like when the feature act is up everybody's nobody's paying attention who so i go for a walk so i

would smoke a joint and then so i wouldn't get anxiety i could that's the first club ever that me smoking put on the alarm set off the fire alarm they were not even pissed oh my god the lights were going whoop whoop the leash and michael's was on stage she goes i don't know what to do up here they were fucking and the fire department came back and they're like what the Jesus christ stop smoking that shit even they were cool they were like don't worry about it but i went out in the hallway one day and they have a table out there where the waitresses put food down as like a barrier in between the the people that you're bringing the food to it's expedited there and then she takes them from there so i'm walking out i'm high as fuck okay this is what you get for being a cocksucker

so if you're a cocksucker knock it off i was walking by the table i'm stoned to the gills i got like a thousand milligrams addables in me and i looked down and what do i see tater tots oh like a dish full of tater tots with like a turkey sandwich perfect whoo man it was a turkey sandwich with that gouda cheese with it melts oh oh yeah and i looked at that and i'm like i looked around for cameras and shit and i'm like fucking i'm clipping this and i picked up this had to be four or five years ago i practiced not to be a thief but from time to time i got to work the muscle because it's there i picked up the tater tots i took it and there's in the green room they have a bathroom so i actually i was so high that i thought they were gonna find me so i went in the

bathroom and started eating the tater tots dipping them in this red it was a red sauce and the red sauce is delicious and i'm high and i'm not even dipping one i'm getting four at a time and dipping them in the sauce i got sauce all over my fingers i got sauce all over my face and the next thing you know the waitress comes in and she goes oh my god i've been looking for those did you take those i go i don't know somebody just put them in here i wait just put them in here by mistake and i thought that was the other headline she goes i don't worry about you can have it she goes can i ask you a question what did you think of the ranch dressing and i go ranch dressing i go that's not ranch because it was red she goes to the sriracha ranch wow oh sriracha ranch i love that it was

fucking delicious yeah delicious you're like you're like on that scene on barfly where where where a fucking uh mickey roark gets the sandwich and the guy goes he's like a goddamn seagull he goes a sandwich i love that fucking film i have watched three thousand movies over the pandemic yeah new and old and i was just thinking about that movie the adept listen they have played everything the last two years on tv except two movies yeah i sit there every night waiting for two movies barfly and apocalypse now oh fuck they have not played that for the last two weeks at night i was so happy because i was sitting there and i had my choice between the wolf of wall street or boogie knights are you fucking kidding me or what i watched boogie knights three

nights in a fucking row i watched it one time because i couldn't catch the beginning you know we are with the temptations you keep missing the beginning you're like god damn it i always catch it when he fucking uh is fucking the first chick the redhead right the chick that played Hannibal yeah finally one night last week i saw it was coming on at ten and i got to watch the beginning when he went home and his mother beat him up and he showed his cock and she goes get out yeah boogie knights is god man talking boogie knights and i somebody was telling me they read somewhere that years later warburg says he hopes he wishes he never did that movie burt reynolds burt reynolds said that he hated that role and it brought him back i didn't

understand that i didn't get it yeah that was you know burt reynolds he i think he was up for an academy award on that film he killed fucking burt reynolds every time i watch him in my boogie knights i think of one thing i think on the longest yard when i would be out there about six in the morning by myself so smoking a number and burt would come out with a hat on with like the prison jacket that they were in the prison with his hands in there and he would walk because it would be like cool in the morning he would come up to me and go what he's doing well he's always looking like i'm fucking doing and he would go let me see let me smell it and i would just put it up to his lips and he would go

and he would walk away well i don't think he got high like he never got high he's too old and he's been there done that that fucking guy he didn't give a fuck he was great he was great he was a great old man he really was when i looked at him that first time in the longest shot i'm like i i hope when i'm that old i'm that fucking cool yeah he was strong he threw me around one day like a fucking like a doll whoa there's a scene in the longest yard where he's throwing me around and that was real he was i couldn't even control myself i couldn't fucking breathe he had me by the helmet and shit and he's fucking face masking me i thought i was like a dead

Burt Reynolds dude i love to look deliverance oh my god come on oh my god that's such a wild fucking movie oh makes you scared of banjo you hear banjo you just run i know the first time i saw that i i love i was a little disturbed yeah i'm not gonna i think i saw that movie a little too young you know what i'm saying i was just a tad i saw the exorcist as a young man yeah i saw a bunch of movies as a young man but that movie there's a couple movies that disturbed me i still love the movies you know death wish the rape scene disturbs me this you know i don't have time to analyze all the fucking movies that disturbed me but listen when a movie disturbs you that's good yeah when something disturbs you when it gives you that reaction

that's not the reaction that you want but it's a reaction yeah it's like when i listen to merciful fate you know king diamond the first time i was like this is scary man i was actually like i think this is real saint music because i was young you know he comes on the devil oh you're like whoa i haven't heard that shit in years the first time i put that somebody put it on for me one time and i was done i think it was in silver lake the home of that shit yeah that's what they invented that fucking music in silver lake silver like devil rock i'm telling you after they killed fucking Sharon Tate they fucking sat down Charles Manson in the quartet and made that fucking killer rock how bad did you watch that uh it was on again last night and i put it on i was trying to write

something on the computer and i put it on and turned the volume off on it and it was talking about that that part that rick james had moved he was a young musician he moved to california with his wife yeah at the time and his first party was he got an invite to Sharon Tate's house the night that Charles Manson killed it he was supposed to be at that party but he had a headache he told his wife he was gonna lay down the next day they woke up and they saw that uh Manson had killed all those motherfuckers god rest their soul i shouldn't even call them motherfuckers either damn the fuck it i went to see Duncan one time and on the way out he goes can i show you something i go yeah he goes come on i'm gonna show you the Sharon Tate house oh i nearly shit my pants when he lived up

there he lived like a block away from where they did i guess they rebuilt the house and they changed the address yeah they did yeah the numbers so if it was like 26 mockingbird lane it became like 33 mockingbird lane they just did away with the address and everything which you know yeah you know fucking uh i believe that dude that created like all those big shows like full house or one of the he he lives there now in that mansion where they yeah up there he built a house up there and uh you know it's got crazy views and everything pretty wild forget the shows he created uh the full house and something else but yeah he he said that on the anniversary every year there's weirdos out front you know like just out there i was like wow weird that's fucking nuts yeah yeah

people still kind of go out there and and you know what's even nuttier that people buy like if you go up Laurel Canyon who's the guy that lived right there that somebody lives in this house and he was not the one of those fucking creepy guys from the 50s or 40s that was his house right when you before you hit that little grocery store on Laurel Canyon before you hit cold water up on top there's that little grocery store Ralphie may used to get the turkey sandwiches from the like $30 a piece yeah yeah big turkey sandwiches there right there if you could you could take that side street to meet you up at the top of that yep that estate and years ago what happened was i went to meet somebody there for a meeting like a pitch deal and i walked in they had a buzz me in it was a

fuck it was called paramount management wow and they were renting a section out of that house it's one of those creepy magicians oh yeah fucking houdini houdini yeah the houdini house it's houdini's house so the people bought it and they said that he had a bunch of escape routes in there and fucking you open up a room a bunch of pigeons fly out that fucking didn't make it to that house i always heard that shit like underground tunnels to go across the street and shit he has a bunch of creepy shit over there and listen when you get that much money you know it's like when who's the dude who lived in the hotel in vegas oh how are you how are you you know those fucking dudes they become so eccentric and they stay in yeah like

they fucking stay in one of those smoking jackets on and they just think of ways it's like when you put a kid in the time out it's a waste of time because he's thinking about things to be bad you know i'm saying yeah it's the same thing with him they sit in that house they got so much money and all they think about is fucking you know destruction or whatever the fuck they think about so building tunnels and sacrifice and midgets whatever the fuck is in their agenda for that week axl rose style man you never see that guy he's just stepping his pad man you never see him out he's not like hey axl was at the movies or axl went to a show this weekend or nothing you just don't see that guy you know there's dudes that don't go out it's a trip you know like i was thinking

about uh alex van halen in my entire life of being out every night in los angeles concerts backstage comedy shows restaurants everything i have never ever seen alex van halen once which is wild you know did you see eddie a lot i saw him a couple times like at uh heaven and hell concert the sabbath uh heaven and hell and i saw him at like nam show or something but never ever saw alex you know it was wild like he never jams with anybody you know nothing it's it's it's uh uh an interesting uh he must be like kind of like real private and introvert or something you know you know it's pretty weird that i've spoken like you don't see a lot of people out there's people when you do what we do for a living you're out at night you're out you're out at night and the

daytime you're creating you're using your creative juices whatever the fuck but at night you're out i think it comes to an age like i've read a ton of music books like about bands i really like when they talk about tours on their bands you know yeah you know i got black sabbath i got fucking zeppelin you know i got all these books about music and what i enjoy the most when they talk about is touring yeah i really like the touring the touring styles you know i remember reading books and you feel like a fucking loser like these bands would do a minimum a minimum of a year yeah away from home yep nobody cried nobody missed their kids nobody missed their wife nobody missed nobody nobody missed fucking nobody yep now who goes out for a year straight

no one no one you know guns just went out for nine weeks it seemed like fucking two years they were doing three shows a week yeah but think about it who fucking goes out for a year anymore yeah that's crazy right that's crazy i remember when g and r you know appetite hit i think they were out for three years three years three years three years but you're young you're stupid they throw money at you you feel the fucking come right yeah you know it's your first three years you know they did they did those uh welcome i'ma tell you something for me like as far back as i can remember bands like yeah you heard i heard rumors of led zeppelin you know what i mean like i never saw them on tv but i still remember guns and roses like winning a grammy or something yeah

and being like at an award show and they were fucking lit oh yeah i'll say that but they got there like yeah they were fucking hammered and i bet when they walked off that stage and when they went home they were so fucking happy that they did that but years later they saw a video of that and they were like what the fuck were we thinking we were young dumb and full of cum and we went there and we fucking you know got hammered so i drank everything and then the same thing goes with comedy listen my you gotta you gotta remember let's be honest you know i don't want to be a hypocrite from 91 to 2007 when i went on the road it was to do cocaine yeah i mean here to fucking my lion tiger yeah it was great i was getting better as a comic but it was to fucking party

look at the evolution of all these bands they look at guns they start out like fucking killers duff lost his kidney exploded or his liver exploded pancreas yeah pancreas exploded fucking i don't what's his name don't like dope slash like dope but you know what today they go on they drink water yeah yeah you know yeah and they exercise and they make time to bring a kickboxing coach with them and that's what we were doing when we were touring at the end yeah like when i was touring at the end i was trying to keep it as healthy as nobody was drinking you know it wasn't when i got into comedy when i got into county there was still i'm not gonna name any names but there was 30 comics that were actually actively partying on the road doing coke drinking fucking bitches whatever now

there's nobody really doing coke on the road no no it's a business now there's no room for it there's no room for it i knew when i was out there at the level i was doing it with the theaters i couldn't even consider i wouldn't haven't touched it in 14 years about to be 15 years wow this month wow is it no 14 years 2007 wow wow 14 years just november 15th or something like that yeah that's crazy man yeah i mean you know it comedy exploded and and the business was always around and you know you'd see a couple guys still dabbling around and they're out there on the patio talking to somebody from netflix all and they're like oh okay yeah right on and they walk away like you're still getting fucking high yeah like you're still getting high it's 2021 i couldn't even imagine

no still fucking calling mike to pick me up so we go get a package up in jersey city yeah i couldn't even imagine i couldn't even imagine what i fucking feel like right now you know away could i do below right now man i i'm at the gym i'm eating clean i want to live you know i was i was talking to somebody a couple days ago i want to live like 30 more years i want to see how this planet ends you know i don't fucking know i don't know about that i never leave the movie early you know that joy that's horrible i don't know how this is gonna end but it's not looking too fucking good i don't even think san is gonna come this year because he's got no vaccination oh he's got no vaccine card

so he's not gonna be allowed to fuck out this year either poor fucking bastard when can he when does he have time to go get a vaccine that fat fuck what's he gonna do i mean think about it i don't know where this is gonna end i was telling somebody earlier today that it's been very quiet lately yeah it's been very quiet it's always you could tell it's the quiet before the storm yeah something's gonna something's brewing the last big thing we had was chappelle and it came and went james bond came and went the many sets came and went everything came and went it's just been really quiet since chappelle they're all talking about the movie rust that alex bald wouldn't do it yeah that alex bald wouldn't do it what the fuck is going on everybody's talking about rust

but nobody's thinking about what look at monday what happened with new york city they let all the fire department the cops and uh whatever people garbage people so they got a whole gap over there i don't know how they could be letting people go you know i mean at the end of the day it's your fucking body whatever you want to do with it do it if you want to put the vaccine in to go if you don't fuck you too you know i don't give a fuck what people do like i don't get a fuck and i'm talking to people and like you know what we ain't getting a fucking booster they already got us for two shots and if we give us this booster that means every six months we're gonna have to go back in for a fucking shot until they you die from this

fucking thing so i ain't mad at anybody i just want everybody to be fucking happy listen to music smoke your pot do what you gotta do and go see dean delray that's it yeah come see me band organ of portland do it you know i was talking about you the other day how lucky of a comic you really fucking are because we did some great work together oh great but we were doing like mid-range stuff you know like chicago data and then you go out with burr and you get the chance to do arenas and fucking red rocks and all these fucking different things and then you're you so you get a chance to do comedy clubs and bars and you know hallways and bowling alleys so you have all the realms covered you know you go out with marin you do a couple mid-range theaters like i was

doing you have a great dean i'm so fucking happy for you i'm happy you're still living in the same apartment you haven't moved you broke your own record you haven't moved in two years in two years dean used to move eight times it was funny i did red rocks with burr i always say he did red rocks i was there and then the next day i headlined in ventura to uh i think 12 people uh on a monday night and it's like hey man you gotta fucking do it all you know what i mean that's not my crowd i was just a visitor and was lucky enough to do some comedy in front of those people but uh i'm out there just trying to pick them off one at a time you know and and i know you and burr and marin these guys are all 30 year men you know it's it doesn't happen overnight and some people get

frustrating i'm out of here another it's like well you know i love doing comedy so whatever it is uh i just i just need the clubs to let me to book me and then you know i'll be in heaven because then i can do comedy all the time that's all i need i'm doing the work i just need somebody to hire me i put a name in for you a couple weeks ago girl called me i don't want to the clubs great lady you know who she is and i told her you were out there to put you up so she called me a few days ago in fact it was after i spoke to you and you were telling me about your situation at other clubs that they're giving you a hard time and uh she said she would contact you for the last quarter she might have a little fall out in december before you so i'm down i'm over

here trying to brother i appreciate what you're doing i miss you i miss you big time man we we gotta get out on the stage together again man listen man i'm just for right now i'm just leaving it open yeah i don't know what i'm coming back i don't know what i'm feeling i'm healthier i feel a lot better than i did so one of these nights i'm gonna be sitting in this fucking living room downstairs i'm gonna go you know what i'm going out to do comedy and everybody will hear about it i just don't know when that's gonna be but i'll keep you posted that's so great i can't wait dude i can't wait to see you man hey and you do look fantastic and you got the best hair in uh in comedy look at that perfect head of hair spoken but i gotta go get a

cut today i'm not shooting anything which is good so i don't have to color it so i want my natural color to come back fucking white yeah and cocaine white that's my hair color cocaine white cocaine white cocaine white and uh that's it man i'm just trying to put the i'm trying to age uh gracefully yeah with no stresses and no fucking dramas and i'm doing okay so but it's always great seeing you it's always great to talk to you and uh i'm gonna strap a pair on one day and go get some tacos 1976 with you oh god i can't wait and we all miss you at the comedy store big time man you still go to 76 all the time and what's that you're still getting two tacos a day keeps the doctor away dude i go to 1986 like it like it's a dealer you know what i mean i ride around two each day i go

oh god i gotta get a taco and i his head right over there man i bring Gertie the dog she sniffs around for ground scores some fucking dropped carne asada as good i haven't even the mexican food here is terrible oh yeah i went to two places terrible but there's a place down in freehold i'm gonna check out yeah next week when i go to the doctor's office team delray i love you you need something you call i love you dude so much thank you for your time thank you for being my definite guest every 90 days it's you and rudie oh yeah i've had john 90 days on any podcast i did i gotta have you i miss you i miss you stay a lot of bill for me and mark and uh the crew and we'll talk in the next couple days buddy candles live stay black all right you bad motherfuckers i hope you

enjoyed my little tey tatay with dean delray we got off the subject we did a couple fucking crazy things but it was just a wednesday morning podcast for you motherfuckers thank you very much for all the support you give us thank you for supporting dean delray on his patreon and whatnot you guys have been great to dean and i can't tell you how great you've been to me i'm over here staring at this freezing bomb going jesus christ that's a fucking monster if you want a bomb like i said freeze pipe cocksuckers listen i want to thank everybody i want to thank you guys for watching and for always being in my corner i want to thank the ice cream shop for supplying us with the best weed on the fucking planet laughing gas um you know pack woods got the fucking blunt that's

killing motherfuckers you do what you need to do i love you cocksuckers have a great weekend i'll be back monday morning tip top magoo and now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors jack what's happening but you bad motherfuckers the joint was brought to you by stamps dot com looking the holiday seasons upon us you're going to be mailing a lot of stuff you want to have stamps dot com if you got kids and work and a busy schedule you're going to be running around back and forth to the post office i love stamps dot com i've been with them for close to 10 years 15 years they bring the services of us postal service and ups right to your door you're going to print any official postage for any letter any box any package anywhere you want to ship listen going to the

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