Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 11/25/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #32

Episode Date: November 26, 2012

Joey and Lee talk about Thanksgivng, Marvin Gaye, and Football on another Sunday gambling addition. Danny B calls back in and tells stories about his brother and also seeing Amare Stodamire. We also have our first podcast with two calls. Joey's friend Jimmy calls in. Jimmy was the person who orignally convinced Joey to move to Colorado. This episode is brought to you by Onnit.com. Use promo code CHURCH to get a special discount. Streamed live on 11/25/2012

Thank you very much for watching this video. I hope you enjoyed it. I'll see you next time. Hit it! Let's do this shit. Oh shit. Sunday November 25th, 2012. The church of what's happening now. A little fucking who in the background. I got my man Lisa, aka the Flying Jew. Play that shit, Lee. Hit it! Oh shit. Smoking this fucking headband in the vapor. The Lord's Day cocksuckers. What's going on, Lee Syed? Nothing. I feel great, man. I'm happy to be back. We haven't been here since Wednesday and it feels like a fucking month. We were gonna do Thursday, but then I went on the computer Thursday morning. Half of you motherfuckers were on the road traveling. I didn't want to jip half years, then you had to come back and download. Plus, you're with your fucking families. You want to see a fat fuck like me on Thanksgiving. You don't need that shit. Me and Lee had a good day. Lee came over.

Yeah, thanks for having me, man. It was great. Yeah, we had a little tour. It was just me and fucking Lee. My wife was passed out. My wife made a tour. We were gonna go to Boston Market. My wife and I had plans. I was just gonna go to Boston Market, get some sliced white meat, get some mashed potatoes, and just sit here and pick up that. I knew you didn't have nowhere to go. I didn't really want to go anywhere. I didn't want to be driving around fucking God's creation. I knew one of your friends was gonna have something late night. Gotta eat something fucking early. You know what I'm saying? You gotta get a turkey and you're like by one. No, and especially for you. It must mean something to you, but me being so far from my family, it was nice of you to have me, so thank you a lot. Hey, fucking, that's what I'm talking about. Listen, I left New York City in 1983. And since 1983, the fucking country's been taking care of me for Thanksgiving. It's amazing when you're sitting there and somebody goes, hey man, you want to come over and eat? You're like, I don't even fucking know you.

And you go over to their house and you have a great time. You meet their parents or whatever, you giggle, you laugh. And sometimes we get the start in our heads that maybe we're gonna go when it's gonna suck. And you know what, man? It's fucking great. It only sucks if you go to somebody's house and the food sucks. Like if they don't cook good. Like I had that happen to me a couple years ago with the fucking mashed potatoes. I talked to Mestacy that cock suck. I love it at death. But you know, till this day I have apprehension about going out anymore. That's how deep that cut me. That shit wouldn't happen on the East Coast where you go to somebody's house and they have shit food. That could only happen fucking here. Where you go to somebody's house and they have like watered down fucking potatoes or something like that. How can you mess up mashed potatoes? Bro, it's beyond fucking me. Don't even get me started because you know what, there's certain dishes I don't understand how you fuck up.

There's certain dishes that you cannot fuck up. That's why I always say, if you don't have ranch, if you don't have blue cheese, what is it they're talking about? You just fucked up the dish. If your pork fried rice sucks and your egg roll sucks, why are we gonna order the muschu fucking pork? There's no need to. I wouldn't even order pork in one of those fucking places. There's a lot of things I don't trust. I see people order shit sometimes and I can't fucking it's beyond me and then they go well this sucks. What would you fucking expect? It's a white restaurant. You ordered Webos Rancheros, which is fucking messy there. You should get what's coming to you fucking momo. I never understood that shit. You know, I go to a restaurant and I get the simplest shit if it's my first time. You know, like if Red Band refers you or something like that, those places suck. Like the cheese with the pizza, those places blow.

So if you go to those fucking places, you're gonna get terrible fucking food. So you start with something light. Like a cheeseburger. If you fuck a cheeseburger up in the fries, we got nothing to talk about. We got nothing to fucking talk about. Yeah, we went to that diner once and it was like 10 o'clock at night. I just didn't know what I wanted and I got ravioli. And from the second I ordered it, until now, months later, you haven't stopped torturing me about it. I never understood that. You know, one of the best that happened to me was my mother dying because it gave me the... I didn't have a chance to fuck around with my mother. If I had six bucks, I had to buy something that was worth it. So before I took a chance on some Hindu fucking restaurant, because some dude with slippers told me that it was good, I got to go to what the fuck I know is good. You know what I'm saying? So if Hashway sandwiches was the best, if Chan's Dragon Inn was the best, that's why I went.

That's why I don't eat a lot of garbage. I don't fuck around. If I got seven bucks or eight bucks or ten bucks, I got to make it fucking work for me. It wasn't any good. Well, who made you fucking eat there? Why would you go in half of these fucking places? Half these delis now, or run by Korean people. I got nothing against them. But when the fuck did a Korean make a fucking Jew bagel, you know, with the locks and the tomato? Have you gone into those? Well, it's a bagel store and you're going in. Not only are they Korean, but they don't fucking speak English, taboo. And you're like a bagel fucking locks and they're looking at you like, ah, ah, ah, ah, what the fuck? You know, if you don't know how to make a bagel and fucking locks, then don't say you're a bagel place. And again, I'm not against free enterprise. I'm not saying nothing bad about Koreans.

It could be Cuban people that have a fucking bagel shop and you go in and they give you like 19 pieces of locks and they don't know. But they don't know how to fucking do it. So why? How can you get mad at them? My wife goes into portals and she gets a Cuban sandwich from time to time. And she comes back and she goes, does blows. I go, yeah, because this is the fucking Mexican making it. My friend, I'm not against Mexicans. He doesn't know about the Cuban fucking sandwich. It's like if I, if I, if I was to cook, if somebody came to me and said, make a chocolate, whatever the fuck that is, that thing that Mexicans good, that's fucking good because I love Mexican food. You know, Moli, chicken Moli, chocolate Moli. I don't know how to make fucking chocolate Moli.

If I went and did it off recipe, it would be okay, but it wouldn't be what they used to. Same thing with Cuban food. Same thing with locks and bagels. Same thing as if it's a Cuban. They're fucking cooking that Korean shit, that kimchi that smells like 10 dead fucking Iranians. You ever smell that fucking kimchi? I love kimchi. I know. I bet you would fucking love kimchi. It is delicious. Your father, your new generation. You like Pad Thai fucking curry too and shit, don't you? Of course I love Pad Thai. Oh, you're disgusting. You filthy little motherfucker. You know what your ass smells like? I don't mind. Pad Thai is like the, like the widest thing you can get in a Thai place. I don't mind the Pad Thai shrimp over from that place on Sunset Across from the Guitar Center over there.

That's the best Thai place. They say, I don't know how Pad Thai shrimp are like. Once you start drinking coconut milk and curry fucking, curry monkeys and all that shit, I'm not into no fucking curry. In fact, I don't even want to smell that shit. I won't even walk into one of the fucking places. There was a sushi place that was tremendous and then a curry place opened next door. And I got nothing against Hindus and nothing like that. I just do not like the fucking smell of curry. I don't like none of that shit. I don't like Thai food and like coconut milk and my fucking food. You want to give me coconut water after I come back from the gym? I'm in. But all that other shit, I can't fucking do for you. I really can't do for you, man.

And that always scares me when, like, people go to, like, Denny's or whatever. And I love Denny's, but anywhere like that and they get shrimp, that shrimp has to be gone. Oh, that's radioactive. Half of it. Listen, you go to these places and you ought to see when you're taking your life in your own fucking place. Yeah, you really are. I don't know. And that's what that's what I'm here to do to promote a better fucking place to live. By the way, this podcast is always is brought to you by on it. On it is fucking changing lives. I know a few people know they're having a sale right now. It's like 15% off. If you put your channel in the way out when you check out, you get an additional fucking discount. I don't know what the deal is with shipping, but the money guarantee is always there. Let me tell you something, man.

Listen, guys, I fucking got on the scale and I was like three pounds heavy than what I thought. Oh, fuck that. I was like six pounds heavy than what I thought. So I'm back. Can I tell you what I'm going to do? I'm going to stop fucking with the weights and shit because the weights are killing me. I go in there. I love lifting with fucking heavy weights. I love it, but then I'm hungry as fuck. I drink the protein powder from the hemp force. Let me tell you something. The strung bone I've been taking lately from on it, the strung bone force. Let me tell you something. This shit there, my knees don't hurt no more. I was getting a little pain in my knees. I'm not going to lie to you.

In the left knee, in the right knee, I had surgery on the left and when you're training, you hurt the fucking opposite knee. I was starting to get a little pain in there and I read about it. Somebody said, sometimes you just got to get more fluid in your joints and that's it. I also started to fucking new mood, which is tremendous. I like the new mood. It's got the trip to fan like the turkey and I like the alpha brain mushroom, the shroom tech. The shroom tech sport is fucking good guys. Yesterday I did the bike, I hit the bag and I fucking ran and I ran last and I still maintain the levels like on the Dolce thing. So it fucking works guys. Go to honid.com, give it a shot.

Also, I've been using the protein powder as a replacement meal and it's fucking working for me. I don't know what the caloric intake is. I think it's like 200 something, which is like 6 or 7 weight watcher points. But that's a meal like 200 calories. Isn't that bad for like a meal? And that would probably fill you up for a while. It's eight fucking points. Listen, I used to eat two eggs, half a loaf of bread, half a tub of butter and a whole thing of bacon for breakfast. A package of bacon? Oh, I could eat a package of bacon. A lot of people can, especially if you smoked 50 fucking joints. I'm sure I could.

Yeah, you could. You really could. Now I eat one egg, two pieces of toast and three pieces of bacon and no potatoes. That consists of two points for the egg, you know, two points for the fucking bacon. That's four and eight points for the bread. And that's eight points for a breakfast. Listen, I ain't gonna bullshit you. You're gonna be hungry now and a half later. So you eat a few apples, maybe get some rice checks in a cup and eat those. And then the hemp force. I fucking love it. I love this protein, bro.

This protein tastes so fucking good. It tastes like quick, you know. And it's got the maca. It's got the whole fucking. It's got 16 grams of protein, 11 grams of fiber. So you're shitting a half hour later. And that's the most important thing. Last night I ate like four fucking apples. Ralph's has a sale on these little red green apples. I don't know what you call them, macadamia.

I don't fuck. Macadamia? That's a nut, right? Yeah. Anyway, let me tell you something. I came home last night. I went to the lab factory in Hollywood, which I didn't bomb last night. Oh good.

I always bomb in Hollywood, bro. I got to follow Chris Delia, Dane Cook, and I always fucking bomb. That seems like a very vibrant club. Yeah, but I love it. I love it. I go to Long Beach, too, and I like that club, but I like Long Beach a lot better. And it's funny, Lee. Lee, let me tell you something.

I've been hanging around with Lee now for like 18 months. And I'll tell you, Lee is completely different than anybody I've ever hung out in. He reminds me of a dear friend of mine, Jimmy Labrano. And that's why I really love him. He stutters and, you know, he sweats and he's a pissant. But Lee always tells me something once a week that fucking gets me. Like I look at him and I go, Lee, you're a fucking badass, Joe. Because Lee is a badass, Joe.

I mean, he hits me with a lot of bad fucking ideas during the week. He wants to take the show on the road. He wants to get stickers, whatever. But today he was saying, he was, you know, listen to comics, they always came from their favorite fucking comedy club, and you're right. You know, we hate to tell the fucking truth. And something about the church or what's happening now that I really wanted to stress as that I couldn't do a Beauty and the Beast, and I could do one, Joe, was be myself.

One thing about me, guys, is I don't play this fucking fake, you know, I like it because everybody else likes it. I've never been one of those fucking guys. I have an opinion for my fucking self on this shit, whether it was a concert as a kid or whatever, food, how I tell you, I'll tell you the fucking truth. I'm not going to tell you it's good because everybody thinks it's fucking good. That's not my fucking style. Everybody got an iPhone, I got a fucking Sprint still.

I tell motherfuckers I'm going to get an iPhone. I'm never going to get a fucking iPhone. This Sprint piece of shit. These phones drive me fucking crazy. I can't stand none of them. If it was up to me, I'd light these all on fucking fire and go back to a house phone. This makes you too available. Like, now you have to be available.

If I called your house and you weren't there, you're not home. I don't know where the fuck he is. Try to find him. Who fucking knows? It's Diaz. He could be at the gym. He could be at one of the many weed stores. He could be in Hollywood chasing a fucking fag.

He could be doing something. Now they fucking find you with these things. That's why if you get one of these things, you're always going to be acceptable. That's why I get pissed. If I call your house and you don't answer, you're getting your dick sucked. You're in the shower. I don't give a fuck. But if you got the cellphone in your pocket and I call you, you don't answer.

Next time I see y'all break your fucking cellphone. Because it's like, what the fuck, guy? You got it in your pocket. You don't hear me call? Don't you hear me knocking cocksucker? Since it's gambling fucking Sunday today, me and Lee are going to, my friend Danny's going to call. Last time he gave out the Jets a couple of weeks ago, they lost.

But I'm going to tell you why today. I'm going to tell you why. Especially after this fucking, it was a weird weekend of football this weekend. Yeah. Started off with New England. And then the other game that Houston Detroit, which, which tied up. And then I tried to watch that fucking USC Notre Dame game. Let's get something straight.

I live here. I like Notre Dame. I mean, we all grew up on Notre Dame. Everybody's kidding. Everybody's dream in this college world is to go to fucking Notre Dame at one point or another. Whether it's for football, basketball, soccer for the dick sucking club. Was it that way before Rudy came out?

Or was it? It's always. Everybody fucking Rudy. Fucking Rudy. I don't give a fuck about Rudy. I was watching Kelly Trapucco when I was a fucking Rudy. You know, everybody always wanted to go to Notre Dame Penn State. Well, not anymore.

Unless you want to dance around with a Batman fucking suit on and little fucking kids and molest them. You bunch of perfect motherfuckers. Anyway, you know, everybody want to go to North Carolina, Tar Heel Marquette, you know, Nevada Las Vegas. Everybody wants to go to those schools. And fucking Alabama, if you're a football player, I mean, that's your livelihood. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. But what was I talking about? Notre Dame. Notre Dame. But everybody wants to go to fucking Notre Dame. So I'm sitting there with my wife yesterday. You know, Pete, I watched USC lose to Oregon. You know, I gave them out against Colorado as a lucky fucking pick.

I couldn't pick a college game if you paid me. And last night I'm watching the last two or three minutes of it. They had Notre Dame. They had. USC had them? They got two interference calls in the fucking inside the goal. This receive is a badass fucking goal. He's tall.

He's got to jump on them and you're going to interfere. Yeah. Don't take a genius. They fucking missed all four or six or seven fucking attempts. I don't know how many attempts it was. I sat there. I'm like, how the fuck are you guys going to beat Notre Dame if you can't even get into the goal?

And they could have got it in. It would have been 23-20. They would have tied it up. I think Notre Dame was given four. You know, I didn't bet the game, guys. You should have had a fucking locker. Shut the fuck up, guys. What I had here was, uh, was, uh, I had nobody.

I was just watching the game. Remember I told you on the fucking podcast a couple of weeks ago, I don't bet with or against local fucking teams. This is why, because they always break your fucking heart. Yeah, they've been saying USC's been bad. I don't really follow college sports, but every, every news station's like, oh, USC's disappointing this year. You know, these fucking colleges are better than some pro teams, man.

They're, you know, they're, I mean, Alabama looked great yesterday, right? Alabama saved and played yesterday. Yeah. A couple college teams are fucking great. But anyway, who gives a fuck about college football? I don't give a fuck about college football. I'm just saying that yesterday I was watching and I thought they were a lot better. And I wrote it.

They had 18 attempts and people got pissed off at me because I just wrote. I didn't bet Notre Dame. I didn't bet USC. I wouldn't bet local away or non-away if you fucking paid me. Yeah. I got my buddy Danny calling today. He finally went to the game with the ref when he came out of prison for that. He's got a story about the brother that we made.

He's a bag of mushrooms when he was 14. He got out of prison after 21 fucking years. Danny's going to talk about that, but he hasn't changed a bit. I love fucking music and I love you guys. And I listen to all types of fucking music and there's just some music that gets me more than others. And I like black music. I like opera.

I like Spanish music. I like rock music. I love being a little kid and loving rock music and loving like I love pre. I love pre-wrap. I love the Tentations. I love Rick James. I love black music. When I was a kid, I used to listen to a station WBLS.

And the guy would always say at the end, I got to take two steps to the ring and get out of here. I'm in the wind later. And I like WBLS and I couldn't tell somebody I like this type of music. It's very deep and soulful. And the OJs and Bobby Wolnack and fucking David, whatever, roughly, he left the Tentations. I love this shit. I want to play you one of my favorite fucking artists of all time.

I call this guy an artist, guys, because for the love of Christ, he's one of the baddest fucking singers I've ever lived. And so what? That he's fucking black. The blackness is what adds to the flavor of this. But this is something from my brother Leroy, neck bone, because he grew up on this shit. Oh, young little brothers today know, like if you're black and you're 40, your parents played this type of music, MFSB, Teddy Penegras, Barry White.

And it takes you to a different level because these men, their fucking voices, their hearts. Hit me with Marvin Gaye. I want you. I want you to listen to this fucking thing real quick here and see what this guy is doing here. It kills me. Where's the music? Did you finish?

Hit it. So the music goes for Marvin at 30 seconds without him even singing, but you can feel his fucking soul. You blasted me. Kick this motherfucker. Where's that weed? Oh shit. All I give you is something to learn from guys.

This is as bad as it gets. Listen to this guitar. Listen to Marvin. Now a lot of people don't know Marvin was with that chick, Jor-El, whatever, and she died. And he lost it in a way and he went over to Belgium to Europe just to snort fucking love. This guy was crazy. He was tax evaded. But if you look at this video, I want you from 1976.

This guy used to dress in a tuxedo. Look at that video there with the fucking Charles Bronson hat on. You know, he did the national anthem where they said it was the sexiest national anthem. This guy was a gifted motherfucker. I've seen interviews about his family where his father used to beat the fuck out of him. And he came out with a sexual healing. Hit it, Lee. Oh shit.

Right here, guys. Listen to this heart. This is what you get to play when you get to Boston in Chile, checkmate. Listen to this shit. Hit it. This is too long ago. This is the real art of fucking black music. Now stop this shit, Lee.

Now, years later, you know, I love this song. I remember being a fucking kid listening to this and understanding where this guy was coming from with his fucking soul. His soul was just so fucking strong. And I heard a guy by the name of Robert Palmer. You guys might know him from the songs Addicted to Love. And might as well face it to Addicted to Love. He did the one with the lights. But you're not home.

All that shit was Robert Palmer. And that you really mean to turn you on. He did all this disco shit. Robert Palmer was an English motherfucker. And he went on the Arsenio Hall show and did this. And I've always thought about Marvin Gaye, how somebody could even think of fucking redoing this song. Because it's too tough. For me, it would be too tough.

The soul he has. Hit that jam with Robert Palmer on the Arsenio Hall show in 91. Same jam. There's a white guy. Another bad motherfucker. Are you kidding me guys? If you look at his face, he's fucking giving it to you. White, black.

If you ain't got it, you ain't got it. And if you got it, you got it. Hit the interviewer. Because this is what killed me when I watched the interview later on. And you guys like Joey, what's this got to do with me? Well, I'm trying to fucking help you out here. You ready for it? Hit it.

To a certain extent, since Marvin Gaye, neck and comb, Billy Holiday, my favorite singers, there's something sort of sacrosanct about it. You know, I'm in The Tomb's Perfect in the first place. Why am I going to touch it? And I've made a note to try and attempt it years ago, and I now guess over a period of time, I got a nerve and there'd been enough time in between. The fucking nerve. And trying to re-illuminate it.

But Marvin Gaye's singing was incredibly technical, as well as super intensely emotional. So it's not the kind of stuff you go around the house whistling, you know, singing in the shower. And when I'm in the studio working on the song, I can zone in on details, fix bits. I can even get as far as deciding I haven't done anything to it and erase it and say, okay, I didn't bring it, I didn't do anything to it. But by the time I finished the recording of it, I was very pleased with it. But when it comes to performing it live, it's a real, it's extremely intense. And I was very nervous about killing it, you know.

I don't know if you guys understood where I was coming from with this. It's just so weird when I hear music sometimes. Because, you know, I never call myself an artist, I'm just a convict fucking comic. When I hear this shit, this is what gets me fired up. When I hear Marvin Gaye and I hear his soul in that music, and he's got tons of shit. Let's get it on. He's got so many good songs. If you ever get a chance, just put on Marvin Gaye's smoke a fucking number and just feel with this guy.

You don't hear this no more in music. Guys, you don't hear this. You don't hear the passion that fucking, you know, the singer from the who had in his music. You just don't hear it no more. Paul Rogers from Bad Company. Another bad motherfucker that we're going to break down. He's got a wig today. He's 60 years old.

He's opening up for Queen. He's the only guy that was ever even thought about to open up for the doors when Morrison died. I mean, these guys have so much fucking soul in their voice. I just wanted to illuminate it to you motherfuckers out there. You're a little younger, you're a little older. Maybe you remember Marvin Gaye. This is just too much. So if you get a chance, listen to that whole fucking out.

Like for me, like I was, I'm young. So I've heard all these songs, of course, but it doesn't really have like a play. It's not emotional for me. So for people who don't, for like people who weren't watching the thing, this is like this guy is essentially whatever that Coldplay guy, like the head British guy of Coldplay, like a skinny white guy is on here sending a haul show, which is a black show singing like one of the big, the blackest guy's songs. And they accept them. And he's singing it and it doesn't sing with a British accent.

He's singing it like he's saying it. And then he's sitting and then it's like any talk show, he's talking in a British accent and it's like two different people. So you got to respect that. No, it's, I love music. It's like the first time I've seen Farina. You know, I've seen Farina in 79 or 78. I've seen them do an interview for Cold as Ice or whatever. And wow, he was so fucking English.

And then I watched him sing and you couldn't hear the English accent in there. It just blew me the fuck away. So that's why I just wanted to show people about the beauty of fucking Marvin Gaye because that's what inspires me. You know, people always say to me, Joey, thank you for inspiring me for getting up early and doing positive reinforcements. I'm going to fucking do that anyway, whether I'm positive or not. I shouldn't get you through the day. But you know, this is the shit that inspires me. You know, the other day, like I said, I was watching that show on 60 Minutes About College Football when they showed an Alabama game, like an Auburn one of those.

They showed a Saban game, like what goes into producing a college football game? Like why are all these colleges getting more football now to get more money to make for them? And it's so weird that one of my earliest dreams ever was to play in a national championship game. I didn't give a fuck what it was. Just to me as a young man, there's nothing bigger than that. Playing like in the fucking Final Four or, you know, college basketball or in the finals or in the orange bowl of college football or nothing is bigger than me. That was when I realized I couldn't attain that in my life. That's one of the things that forced me to do drugs.

You know that? Really? Yeah, man. That was the first time I saw fucking Michael Coran come out and he had a gov. He was a freshman at University of North Carolina. Okay. They had Phil Ford. They had, you know, James Worthy.

They had all these fucking players. I think that's the team. And they had to play University of Las Vegas with Glenn Gondrzejek and he was a fucking senior. And Michael Coran went out there. The first game he started was as a fucking freshman in the Final Four. Can you imagine that? Like finally somebody got hurt and you got to start in the Final Four. And I remember them saying Michael Coran from Hudson Catholic in Jersey City, New Jersey.

And my fucking head almost exploded. And right there I knew that's what I wanted to do. I don't give a fuck if I get hit by a train the next day. I want to play in the championship or something in college so the whole fucking world sees it. You know? That was my original dream when I realized I was going to be stuck at 5'10". Or that I wasn't fast enough to have a high school basketball really cracked me. But just the thought of somebody like my friend Damon as a kid and I went over there Thanksgiving Eve to get a dessert.

And his kids, you know, a fucking monster. A monster. I got pictures of him. He's a year. He's 14 months but he's just yoked. And every time I look at Damon, I'm like Michael Irvin. I'm like, hey Damon, we got a draft to get ready for. You know what I'm saying?

In 18 years. Because that's what I would be doing with my little fucking boy. I'd be making him fucking lift weights in buildings. That motherfucker's getting ready for the finals. You know, I don't know what to do with a girl. You know, what am I going to do? Put a helmet on her and make her play basketball against the boys. I don't want to do that.

By the way, today's my third anniversary with my wife. I want to wish her a happy anniversary. We got married three years ago. We got married on a Wednesday though. So don't think about it motherfuckers. A lot of these idiots get married on a fucking Saturday and right away they don't even think about the USC Notre Dame game and shit. A lot of these women, I don't mind people inviting me to weddings but they get married on the days of good fucking games. I don't want to see that shit.

Of course you got married on a Wednesday. That's hilarious. I mean, most people do it on weekends and you have to drive far away. Oh, fuck you. Fuck you. That's bullshit when you're sitting at home and you got to fucking invite to a wedding and it's in another state. And you're like, I got to buy a fucking plane ticket and all this shit to go to this wedding. I don't even like these fucking people.

You know, who the fuck do these people think they are? But they can't get married at a regular VFW like everybody fucking else. They got to get married at the wedding because they're fucking special. What are you? What are you kidding me? That nothing pisses me off more than that shit. That's one of the first things you told me. When we first started hanging out, someone invited you to a wedding and you would have had to fly there.

Mexico on New Year's Day. And this chick got nice titties and shit but she's not sucking my dick to bride. Why am I going on at the fucking wedding in Mexico on New Year's Day? Like you got some fucking pair of balls. I took that invite and ripped it up into a thousand fucking pieces and sent it back with a check for $50. That's what you do when you get those. Just put a check on that for $200, $300. It's a lot better than spending $3,000 on them to put up with that shit for a fuck.

And these people don't even give a fuck. They want you to come down for a week and hang out and fuck you. You got better shit to do than fucking bum around at your wedding with your creepy fucking family around the edge with a ukulele playing fucking the game of life. Get the fuck out of here. You want me to go to your wedding? You fly me the fuck down there and I'll stay and have a good time. I got to put up with your wedding and then your fucking gift and I got to play like I like you and all this shit.

I better give a shot out to my girl, my little MB Leaf girl who's taking lead to the fucking football game. Is my man calling? Yeah, speaking of football, we got Danny B. Oh, shit. There's my little brother, Danny B. What's going on, kids? What's up, baby? Where the hell you been lately?

You had me all worried. I thought you had me on a pain on mind list and shit. Don't worry about me. I'm all right. Never, never. Me and you are the same. Don't worry about us. We're around.

We're somewhere flippin' some other time. How was your holiday, big guy? My holiday was good. How was yours, little Danny B? Wonderful. I got suspended with my brother, Gary, as you know, just got out of jail after a 21-year run. Oh, my God. Yeah, but you know what?

On Black Friday, we went around looking for ski masks. So we got a couple of good sales. So I see him back on January 2nd. I give him a lunch stand about another 32 days. How much is it? What's the... Ski mask. Oh, but he did get it.

He did get a good deal on the ski mask, though. Black Friday definitely had some nice sales, especially for burglars. What's going on? Ah, nothing. Same shit. Just trying to put the pieces together. Waiting on you. I'm happy.

Everything worked out. Tell us what happened when you went to the game with your buddy, Donahue here. What happened, brother? Don, okay. Donahue, okay. Okay. First of all, you know, it was something we planned a couple of years ago. Nice PR stunt.

Everything was falling into place. Press releases. Seats on the floor. Literally two feet away from Mark Cuban. DeVrini from the Jersey Shore sat right next to us. And Oma Thurman. Oma Thurman, right by Donahue. Didn't know who she was till we left.

So we get there. Security's sitting there waiting for us. We're thinking that they're going to escort Timmy out of the place, but contract Coco. They were there to make sure we had a good time and nobody fucked with us. Because the last thing they wanted to see is Tim Donahue getting mulled at an NBA game. This way we're all over ESPN. And that makes my register ring. And they weren't going to help us with that.

But Mark Cuban did come up to him like a man, like a fucking man. Said, Timmy, I'm going to shake your hand, but I can't take any picture. Guess what? I was going to take the picture anyway, but my fucking camera froze. The million dollar shot got away Coco, but good time. He got treated well there. A couple of fans recognized him, gave out some autographs. But yeah, it's the start of many games that we're going to attend.

He'll be on your show this week, I'm sure. I can't wait to have him on. I just want to ask him questions, simple questions, what's going on and shit like that. So I just want to see how he's adjusting to what's going on. When you get in trouble and your name comes out in the paper and all that shit, as you know, Danny, it changes your psyche for a long fucking time. Well, you know what? We're street guys. He's not. So it's tough for him.

You know, me and you have been there, shot, stabbed, been in jail, ate those bologna sandwiches. We know what it's like. Oh my God. A guy like him that silver spooned, it's tough. And you know what? He was scared. I got to be honest with you. He'll tell you the same thing. I got a picture of me and him sitting out the game.

He looked like he did an eight ball and he fucking heard the floorboards cracking. He was scared. Yeah, he had to be scared. He looked so paranoid. I remember getting out of like county jail after doing 30 fucking days. Remember that and going to a bar to have a drink. For some reason, you're scared. Yeah, you're always afraid.

Always looking over your shoulder. Always afraid. And I don't do anything wrong. I still, I see a fucking siren. I hit the fucking ground. It's like, you know, it's like, I don't know, a reaction. I'm on the floor and don't make a move. I'm looking over my shoulder.

It's amazing. I never did less than a, I never did 30 days. My spends were always a year or better, Joe. So I don't know what that's like. No, I did like 30 while I was getting ready to be held on bail. You know, while they're waiting to fucking lower your bail. One time I had to wait 30 days. One time I had to wait like four fucking months.

No, no, no. Then the states are different. But I'm talking and that's even worse. When you get out of fucking lockdown and you're walking around, you feel so fucking weird. We, we, we talk about that lockdown. And Gary, Gary, the 21, you know, he got out, he did time from 91 to 97 got out. November 97 came home for the holidays. Rob the lady the first night at the ATM.

By February, I remember the night before I was with him at scores in the city. Place closes down. We go take a piss in a New York alleyway. All of a sudden he pulls out of 45 and he starts shooting it like fucking a Cisco kid. And I'm like zippering up. I caught my dick in my pants. I'm bleeding at the point. And I'm like, he's like, come on, let's go, brother.

I'm like, I'll be at the port authority. Good luck to you. And that led to a couple of day bender where he later got arrested for strong. So he's done a lot of time, broke out of the jail, was on America's most wanted, hooked up with the Russian mob at a Brighton Beach, New York Brooklyn area. And they finally got him in like May of 98. So we just got home November 2nd. Looks okay for a guy who just did better part of 21 years.

But he's still not right. You know how fucked up he is. So dinosaurs. He's fucking helicopters. He still insists that he was fucking abducted in jail and he has a tracking device in his ear. He's got a relationship going on in jail with a psychiatrist in there. Because she thought that that was interesting that he was abducted. But yeah, I felt his ear lobe, though, and he didn't have a little lump in it, though, Coco.

You're fucking crazy. I'm a crazy one. You're a fucking go daddy guy. I love that fucking commercial. Thank you, sir. Dude, I see that. I just thought I'd lose it. I'm so happy for you.

I really am. And I know I just got done talking to somebody earlier about your James. You know, they've been out to a few of your shows, James and Greg. By the time you're 60, I guarantee you're going to get an Oscar or one of those best supporting actors in a comedy. I guarantee it. So I foresee good things happen to my boy out there. Thank you, brother. That's why I love you, my man, because you're always looking out for me.

Nah. Like I told you this morning, you know, Danny, guys like you and I, you know, people say, oh, well, maybe you're making money. You know what? At this point in my life, it's not even about the money, man. It's about just being happy because I've had the money. You know, I grew up with money and I lost everything. And now here and there, I get a little fucking spackle from time to time.

I luck out on a movie or something, but it doesn't change my life. You know, it's not. It's amazing. I agree. Success. Success to me is fucking going to a Chinese restaurant and having money for the fucking lunch special and being healthy and people being happy around you. You know, you're so right about that.

You have your kid coming in the better part of three weeks. You know, that's the most important thing, but it is definitely cool to have some jingle behind here. You don't need to make millions to be happy. No, but that's what, when I was 20, that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to go and be a kingpin and have $20 million and bitches sucking your dick. And if you ask me that now, I don't want nobody over here. Give me 10,000 cash and as long as I go back and forth to the weed store and the Chinese

restaurant, guess what? I'm fucking so happy. I'm so, the simplest things make me so fucking happy, Danny, anymore. You know? Well, then you can come back to New Jersey because Montclair has the medical marijuana facility opened up right by my cousin's place. You can fucking go there, grab a fucking little vial, come smoking and then they'll fatten you up at the house.

It works well. Yeah, they're going to do that. That started in Montclair, so two shades of that. Gambling starts here in January. You might want to come home. You might want to come home, my friend. It's hopefully in Gamble legally. Where does gambling start?

Well, Chrisy, Governor Chrisy, I never really liked him, but now I'm a big fan because he likes to, he's trying to, you know, legalized shit that should have been legal years ago. January, I think, 6th is when they start giving out licenses. I'm sorry, in Mommeth. Mommeth race track is where it's going to start. Atlantic City's not going to jeopardize anything quite yet because the feds are fucking around still. They're trying to stall it so they're threatening and get different sanctions, but he's sticking

his big chest out and he's saying, bring it. You know, so it's Mammoth Park, I think sometime in January, or off the sports betting. You know, so that's a good thing for me. And it's numbers, card games, sports gambling. What is it? Every fucking thing. Anything you can do in Vegas. You do, you bet the, you know, Mommeth is a beautiful racetrack.

You know, Mommeth is a nice race. They got hit hard with the, you know, Sandy, but the track, you bet the ponies, you can, I don't know about the Blackjack, I'm sure that's, you know, you can bet Blackjack just about anywhere. I live in Allentown, you know, I got my office up in Hoboken, but right now in town we got the Sands there, we got the Pokenos. So shit, on East Coast, gambling's definitely accessible. It's the sports betting that's been alluding us.

Cause all you guys out there that are listening, you got your money offshore, you're sending money to Costa Rica, or Uber, Antigua, fuck that. You know, keep it here in the United States. We're sending billions of dollars every year to these fucking third world countries. And we need to loot here. So I'm hoping that it just spreads like a fucking wildfire. You know, starts in New Jersey, works its way to California's broke. You guys need it.

So we see that happening. I get a lot of people that, you know, we're in the offshore business that are concerned about a cocoa. So you know what it's all about? It's about common sense. Fucking tax it, regulate it. Fuck yeah. Keep it here.

Who gives a fuck? Fuck the money. Fuck it. Go to a store, a jewelry store, whatever the fuck has a machine, you like the Knicks, you go in there, you bet the same, 60 to win 50. You know, you lose fucking 60 to win 50 and they make $10. 10 people come in a day, you make a hundred fucking dollars, you get the economy kicking. These motherfuckers always complain about the economy.

Danny, when you and me were kids, we wanted to fucking make money. We fuck unemployment, fuck a job. We got a hundred quailoots for 200 and we sold them for 400. That's how this country took away all the fucking jobs. There's no more quailoot salesmen. A person can make a fucking living at the house selling acid. No, now, you know what it is now? Adderall.

Those pills are all what we used to do as kids. No, listen, they're doing these. No, I disagree. Here on the East Coast, they're all fucked up on those oxies. Oh, please. Yeah, it's the same difference. That's what I'm saying. I'm sorry.

I don't know my pills anymore. I don't take fucking pills. I take fucking blood pressure and I protein shake. No, honestly, it's an epidemic here worse when we were hitting the streets back in the 80s and late 70s, 80s, 90s. It was different. You know, they're all messed up now. These pills are just fucked up.

Fucked up. Fucked up. I'd rather see somebody fucking burn a joint and fucking. You there? What's that kid? No, no. It bungles. I don't like those pills at all.

You know what? Those Valium stick with you for a couple of days, even the fucking time on PMs. If you take them at night, you wake up in the morning and all fucking like a Zombo, like breaking bad or some shit. Fuck that shit. You smoke a half a fucking number. You put your head down. You wake up in the morning like you got 20 blowjobs and a finger up your fucking ass.

But that's the real thing about the economy. There's no more street. When we were kids, you know what? You need money. You go to the bar in the corner and 20 people come in and play the number. They play the number for five, ten, fifteen dollars. Ten percent. You make forty dollars.

Now they go to a picket thing. But I never forget quailudes because I made so much money selling those when I was fourteen and fifteen. You just went and picked up a hundred from fucking Skrivani. You picked up a hundred for 200 bucks. You know how long it took you to sell a hundred quailudes on a Friday? Two hours, you fucking momos. Fuck cookies.

I agree. You know, at the Midtown alone, at the fucking Boulevard lounge. Yeah, the Boulevard lounge. That's the fucking hot spot. Hey, you know, speaking of that, you know who I talked to yesterday? Sunday fucking Larry McNeil. How's he doing? He's a good man, Larry, to have.

Well, he's at war with Sabatino over fucking some gambling shit. So they were best buddies a couple of hours over a bet or something. Now they're fucking at war. It's like the fucking Hatfields in the McCoy's. I called Larry. My friend was looking for a place to play. He said, you know, and I try not to get involved in that shit. I do that professionally.

So I said, yeah, let me call this guy for you. Hey, I said, I don't mention that name to me. Sprite's a versus. So yeah, he's doing good, though. I heard he got a lot of a lot of issues, though, with his health. They'll call. His house got wiped out. They're in Sandy.

You know, he moved down to shore, but I haven't seen him in many years. Those guys have been drinking as they would tell him. Those go him. Yeah, he's very chubby. Those guys have been drinking beer since they were fucking 10. They've been drinking a case of fucking night. One of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life was Larry making me on front of his house one day.

Hold on real, real quick. I got to cut you off. You know who I'm looking at right now? Who? Amari Stathamaya. Amari Stathamaya is just pulling into the parking lot here. He's losing my building. You bad motherfucker, Danny B.

You're a bad motherfucker, Danny B. Dude, you know what? This fucker, this fucker has $2 million in vehicles parked on this place. He has a white drawer at the size almost as tall as him. Why does it go still? I guess they like it that way. But this motherfucker has a Bentley, a Maybach, a fucking Porsche that he just pulled up in.

He's got this minivan that's worth like a half a million dollars. And yesterday he looked pathetic. He pulls up in his fucking half a million dollar fucking Lamborghini. The white board that looked like a small giraffe, she was trying to get in and she didn't even know how to open the fucking door. And then he's so big, it's hard to fucking be in a Lamborghini when you're 10 foot tall. But what a fucking, what a sight.

His vehicles are impressive though. So let me ask you this real quick. What's the fucking lock of the day? I need a total for these people. I like the rain is getting nine points. I'm loving the rain is getting nine today. I'll tell you what I do. I'm feeling good today.

I had a nice day yesterday. USC fucked me and I saw you tweeting about that. They fucked me hard. If not, I sweep the board yesterday. I would have smoked them, smoked them. But I'll tell you what, this giant game tonight, right here in the MetLife, everybody's thinking it's going to be a shootout. I kind of go with the under in that one.

I think the weather tonight, well, I see this in about 45 points. I don't know who's going to win the game tonight. It's a big game for both teams, Coke. But I have to say, play the play. I don't like unders because it's fucking boring to watch it. Don't score, you know? But tonight, I'd have to take a low scoring under the 52 points, 51 and a half, wherever it's sitting at right now.

That's why I love you, brother. And I'm going to call into your radio show Tuesday. We'll put it up Wednesday, whatever you need. Danny, always a pleasure when you call. That's why I love you. You fucking make us laugh. You people love you. And I hadn't heard from you and I knew your brother was out.

By the way, if you guys know anybody that you need strong arm, Gary's fucking contracting his work right now. It's pretty cheap. And this motherfucker ain't fucking around. No, I'm serious. No, listen, I'm in the stadium right now. I do a little booking for this a little late. So we're trying to get him some gigs.

So if you know anybody out in the greater part of L.A. that needs to be taken down, you just give me a call. Okay, Tom? You're beautiful. And I'll try to get you work on my end over here for your brother. He shows up with that mask. You motherfuckers are done. This is a kid at 14.

He robbed the fucking bank with a fishing line. He's about 155 pounds with a pocket full of quarters, but he's a mean motherfucker. Have him on your show. That would be beautiful. He'll tell you about the Zodiac killer. He'll talk about it. You know what?

You're a running guy. Mark Beavitcher. Have him call. Have him call in tomorrow. David Bocowicz, the son of Sam. Let's do it tomorrow. Have him call me at fucking 935. Go get him.

Go out there. Smoke one to me, okay? I'm going to smoke 22 of them. It's the Lord's Day. I love you. Stay black, cock sucker. You too, buddy. Go get him.

Bye-bye. Mike Maxwell, I love that. You love all this shit. Let me give a shout out to my brothers in the park. There's one more time for Danny Biancullo. These guys have been giving me love for a long time. I'll risk a bar. Jess Kayla.

Mike White. Rob Fitzpatrick. Neil Samuels. You bad fucking Jew. I love that crazy motherfucker. Sergeant Bullock. And Steve Parris or whatever his fucking name is. I love it.

Who else do I like? I like the right. The Raiders getting fucking nine. Let me call my boy and see if he's going to call in. Because somebody was... Oh, yeah. We got some other... We got a call while he called.

You know what happened, man? I had two calls scheduled today. This guy, this guy, this Danny Biancullo we grew up with. The guy that's about to call his name is Jimmy Burkle. And him and I grew up together. And he's in San Diego. And he's the guy that brought me to Colorado. I'll play more of that Robert Palmer thing.

No, no more Robert Palmer. Just play whatever the fuck you want. Don't you have anything else tuned up over there? Put that one in front on again. Lee, you're a slipping cocksucker. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? That's why I love this guy here.

Because he's always on the move here. You know what I'm saying? But no, no, I had two callers for you. Yeah, if you're going to call back, go ahead. I'm sorry, buddy. The thing was fucked up. You there? Yeah.

Call me back at that number. You tried to call me earlier, didn't you? Okay, yeah. Call me back when you're ready, bro. I'm ready for you. We'll tell the Kentucky story, then we'll go do our thing. I love you, Jimmy. This guy's that's going to call.

I love him with all my heart because he's the guy that got me out of the whole of the whole Master Jersey. In 1983, he came to me and said that he was moving to Colorado. That he had a life for me in Colorado and I didn't believe him and I did. And that's why I'm still fucking here, guys. Because of this guy, Jimmy Burkle. And I'm going to tell one of my favorite fucking... Is he calling?

Yeah, here we go. Dick! Dick! What's happening, buddy? How are you doing today, my friend? Good. You know, I was telling these guys that the reason why I do this podcast, 80% is because of you because you took me out of North Bergen when I was like a year away from getting

killed and you gave me a life in Colorado and I fucked it up but we're still here and we still talk, we're still very tight. I love you like you were my own blood even though you're German. You're like, you know, you're the last of the real Mohicans. Look, you're giggling already. We're the ones... He's the one that came in to turn bomb hits for Jerry's kids. I mean, this is it.

This is half of my fucking repertoire. You know, we spent a lot of things giving together but Jimmy, we drove across country. Right, Tom? We blessed you with the holy smoke. We blessed me with the... Uchis-muchis. But we drove across country together. That was the first thing we did together.

We drove with a white fucking car with a barbell across the middle with big speakers and we had one fucking A-track. I think it was Led Zeppelin physical graffiti. That's the only... And we had like a joint and a half. That was it. And those are hurting days. Oh my...

Trying to get back to Colorado. And we were fine. And every time you let me drive, I'd make believe I was falling asleep and I hit like... I may believe I hit something and you go, get out. Let me drive, you fuck. You drove the whole way basically yelling at me. Mother fucker, I can't drive. But the beauty about Jim is a couple of weeks ago I was working on a TV show and I was talking

to Jim and Jim's one of the only people I could tell this to. I go, yeah, today I clipped this. You know, my wife bought me one of those coffee machines, the crone egg. You know, you put the little coffees in. Crone egg and you get these little coffees and I went on this job site and it used to be, whenever I'd work on a movie or something, I'd always steal all the vitamins and the tampons and the fucking Advils and shit, but now I steal little crone eggs. But they're hard to clip because they watch those things like a motherfucker.

You got to like go over and put two in your hand and put them in your bag and put two. So I told Jim, I go, Jim, I clipped six of them and we both started giggling because Jim he knows I'm a fucking klepto. But... What on a klepto? Me and Jimmy. We used to live together and I used to take... It's more like a cat formula.

Jimmy, how many times did I rob that supermarket? The city market, how many times did I rob? The village markup. The village markup. Oh my God. We had some many good meals from the village markup. Do you remember when I used to leave the house and as a duffel bag I carried a pillowcase? Do you remember that, Jim?

I used to walk around with a pillowcase. Instead of a duffel bag with a string, I just take a... This is how crazy I was in 1983. I leave the house with a pillowcase with like sneakers in there, whatever you take with it. And on the way up to the... I go to the village markup and I take... I would take a steak every night, Jim, like two steaks. If you...

Two steaks? Whatever. Filet mignon? Filet mignon, I would steal salami and a head of lettuce because I love the Oscar Mayer salami in those days and we'd make a salad. But we used to... I used to steal the fucking... Oh God, forgive me.

I stole from there every night. We ate every night. And we had this neighbor that lived upstairs. His name was Ken, but he was from Kentucky. And he'd come down every night at 6.30. And he'd make believe, like, hey guys, but he'd come down to eat. He'd make believe he was coming to talk to us about a bicycle or something, but he'd go, hey man, that smells yummy.

And he'd sit there and he'd fucking eat our food. And I'd break his balls. Ken, what the fuck? You gonna bring a soda or something? Man, I'm broke. So one night, in the middle of all this fucking thievery, because I was going nuts up there. We're going on our best anniversary, it was December 18th.

That was the best robbery I ever did. I got $1,800 and a big chunk of hash from a drug deal up the corner. Me and you went to Glenwood Springs and we celebrated. We ate Chinese food and shit. And I remember we went shopping in Glenwood Springs and I bought a curling bar. But I didn't even buy it. I put it on the bottom of the supermarket rack. And when I walked out, I shoplifted it by mistake.

That's how good I was at shoplifting. I was shoplifting shit by mistake. You were a natural. Like, yeah, yeah, like an asshole. So one night in the summer, I'm fucking broke. I'm not working and Kentucky comes by and he's like, yeah man, my mama sent me money from Kentucky and all this shit. And I'm like, where is it bro?

You gonna give me a 20? He's like, I can't do that. I got to save it for a bicycle part. And I'm like, bitch, you come down here every fucking day and eat our food. And I'm asking you for a small fucking 20 and you're not going to give it to me. So that night he gets a new shirt and he makes plans to go up to Aspen. Do you remember that, Jim? That's the whole thing?

When he came down crying. Yeah, when he came down crying. So that night he goes up to Aspen and it's in my, I'm going to rob this fucking kid. No, I'm staying in to rob this kid. I don't know how I'm going to do it. So there was a balcony. He lived on top of us and there was a balcony. There was no ladders.

So I had to put like this fucking thing together, like a chair on top of a chair. And I went in there and I fucking looked Jim for three hours. You were in Aspen drinking with somebody. So I had the house all to myself. I'm up there going through this fucking thing and I can't find the fucking $200. I'm fucking all over the place. And finally I leave and I come back and I go in the bathroom and he's got a hidden in a bandaid. Bandaid case.

So I took the $200 and I bought a gram of coke at the stone bridge or whatever. And the next morning Jim, me and you were on the couch and he comes down crying. And he's like, man, somebody broke in my house and took my $200 and I'm fucking dying on the couch. He's talking about how he took fingerprints off the thing with a fucking, with, I don't even know a fucking thing. I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about. I'm so goddamn high. What's going on in your world, Jimmy B? Nothing.

Now I remember the story a little bit different though. Go ahead, tell me. I remember him coming down. I think it was Christmas 1984, coming to our door and crying and tears saying somebody broke into my apartment and stole all my money that my grandmother sent me for Christmas. And he had no place to go to eat. In the meantime, we had just fixed up a nice dinner, shrimp and lobster tails. And I thought I was looking over at you and he's like, oh, you want to let him come in and eat them?

And I started figuring out what the hell happened. Oh, that's why I bought the lobster tails with your rent. This poor bastard. We let him in to eat with us. He's a poor bastard, paid for the whole dinner. Right. Berks, we used to have some good time in Snowmass Village, man. Yeah.

You left me the fucking far away roadhouse. Everything was beautiful up there. And I still talk to you every fucking week. And it's amazing that you saved my life, man. I just want to thank you on so these people that listen to this thing know that you're the fucking catalyst. You're the one that got me out of North Bergen and shit before the Cubans killed me. I'm just glad you're still hanging in there. Oh, we really are, man.

Rock in LA. Fuck them. Where you going, cocksucker? You just got here. I just got here. Where you going? You going fishing today? What are you going to do?

I don't know. I was waiting for the sun to come out down here in San Diego. It's a little slow getting, a little chilly this morning. I'm getting ready to head down to the beach if the sun comes out though. Well, you're going back to Jersey on Tuesday? Tuesday, yeah. Well, I'm going to try to give you a call tonight and maybe we'll hook up tomorrow somewhere for even if it's for 10 minutes at night. I'll give you a fucking hug.

You know, I love you and stuff. All right. Thank you for calling in Tarzan. Stay black. All right. Oochus moochus. All right. Take care.

Bye. Oochus moochus. Dominochus. Dominochus. Take care. Take care. I put that fucking kid through a lot, man. The cops used to come there and shake him down.

I put him through a lot. Because you told that story on the Beauty and the Beast, right? What's that? Yeah. Kentucky. Yeah. Kentucky. Yeah.

God, Jesus Christ. Oh my God. This kid lived with me when I was fucking pure craziness. Like pure. He was there from the time I left Jersey till we bumped around and then he gave me his house. He was house sitting in Aspen and he got his wife pregnant. He goes, I'm not even going to call the guy. He goes, give me the $1,500 deposit and the job is yours.

So I just moved in. The owner didn't even know. The owner called and he's like, is Jimmy there? And I'm like, no, this is Joey. He goes, who's Joey? I go, I'm the new fucking house sitter. It was 435 Faraway Road. It was a, in 1984, it was a $1.5 million house.

Four bedrooms, two jacuzzi's, indoor, outdoor. And I lived over the garage with my dog Hercules and this chick. And that's where I had fucking kilos of blow-hidden. That's where the cops were watching me. That fucking house was a long time ago. But hey, it was an interesting fucking podcast today. Okay, Danny's got a cooler called. I gave you the story of fucking Marvin Gaye.

What else did I give you today? What else did I give these motherfuckers? I gave them Marvin Gaye. I gave them Robert Palmer. We gave them Oakland. We gave you Oakland plus the fucking points, which the game is starting any minute here. And what else do you want?

It's the Lord's Day. That's it. You know, I like podcasts on Monday, but I gotta tell you, I like Sunday's podcasts because today, it'll give you some time to sit down, write your notebook, your goals for the week, what you want to do. You know, I'm on track again, dog. That's it.

I had to tighten up some stuff in my life. So now I got this. I got to go to New York and shoot this thing. Oh, cool. A couple of weeks. And then I don't know if I'm going to do this gig, but I'm pretty much done till February 1st. We're going to try to shoot a special.

Yeah, I can't wait. At the end of January for these people, you know, I still got for all your Christmas needs. Testicle testaments are still there. All three of them. The CD is still there. What else we got to leave? We got the documentary, which we always talk about.

We didn't talk about it today on payloads and Amazon. We did a lot of shit this year. So now we're just waiting for the end of the fucking world. Make sure these minds are okay. I got my little son's anarchy shirt on that my boy gave me. Son's anarchy is fucking getting good. We got two episodes left in the next two weeks. Next week we decide whether this guy gives TIG to Pope.

I don't think he's going to give up TIG. I think he's going to shoot this fucking black guy. And then we got to figure out what we're going to do with fucking the old guy. Whatever his name is, Clay Morrow. So we got two more weeks left, hour and a half episodes. And that said, it's the end of the fucking world after Son's anarchy ends. That's basically it. What else you got for me?

Just thank you to Onnit. Yeah, Onnit's fucking helping us out. And you guys can help yourself out. And here's how it starts. You go, you get the strong joint. Even if you're fucking 100 pounds overweight, you walk around for a few days. And then you go to a park and you walk around more.

So if you start with one week, you do one lap, or you do a half a lap, whatever works for you. The second week, you do one lap. The third week, you do two laps and so on. Once you're up to the first weeks, try the strong joint. Try it. Just try it. And I guarantee all those little pains in your knees and your elbows when you're doing push-ups

and your back when you're doing sit-ups, they'll disappear. You want to get a good fucking meal. Go to Weight Watchers. Whatever diet works for you. The fucking Play-Doh diet where you just eat meat. The other one where you just don't eat carbs. But as long as you get a little hemp-force protein in there, 16 grams of protein, or your body could digest this dirty fucking meal,

if you want to build muscle, you should be eating 550 grams of protein a day. But we're trying to lose weight and maintain it because the more muscle you have, the more calories you're fucking burning. And I'll tell you what, this little fucking shroom tech sport is tremendous. And I like the new mood. Have you started taking a meal? Yeah, I like the new mood.

Don't be bullshitting me. Have you been taking water and doing sit-ups and wacking off? I don't know about sit-ups, but I've also started giving me some alphabets and I'm interested to see how it works because for people who, like me, I sit at a desk looking at a computer for 10 hours a day. So I'm interested. I've taken it a couple of times and I want to see if it helps me concentrate and stuff.

Concentrate. I fucking love it. You smoked that refront Thanksgiving. You got high. You passed out. Oh Jesus, you got me way too high. Did you get high that day? Did I get high that day?

You had me in here and you kept saying, what did you say? You can't walk around on half a leg or what? Yeah, you can't walk on one leg. He comes over and he does his little kid hits. Smoked that shit, cocksucker. You had me doing the pipe and then reaching down and doing the vaporizer. So I got home and I passed out. You didn't pass out from that.

You passed out from the turkey. I didn't pass out. You had half a fucking turkey. Half a fucking shit, cocksucker. That three bites of turkey. You know what, man? It's amazing how we can't eat no more. Like we used to.

I can't. I had two pieces of turkey mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese and a biscuit that day. And I was done. I didn't have pumpkin pie until that fucking night. I couldn't even eat that. You left and I went to sleep. What time was that too? Yeah, right towards the end of the first game.

We woke up at five, me and my wife. Holy shit. We slept straight through fucking five, took showers. I woke up. I didn't know what it was. I'm like, what is this? Medical marijuana? I'm like, no.

It's that fucking tryptophan in the turkey. And they have that tryptophan in a new mood. Not to that elevation where you get fucked up and drunk. But this will relax you. Try the new mood. Find your fucking nirvana. Go when you order on the way out. Press church in the box.

Get your discount. I don't know what the deal is with chipping, but trust me, you're going to love this stuff. I'm looking better. I'm feeling better. My fat ball under my neck is healing up. What else can you ask for? The holidays are coming. But if you let yourself grow astray over the holidays, you'll never fucking recover in

June. So just do me a favor. Start now. Oh, I'm going to start December 31st. Why? Start now. Just walk around one day tomorrow. Even if you do one of these shakes this week and one day tomorrow, that's where you start.

I'll be fucking doing it. I fucking went down to macropholes on Friday. Yeah, you told me. I went down to Justin Fortunes. And how I started losing weight was I started losing weight by going to macropholes and hitting the mitts with him. And then he would put me on the punching bag for 10 minutes. And I would die.

I'd have to go with two pair of sweatpants. I would wear two pair underwear and a pair of shorts or if I would pee my pants because I couldn't breathe. That's how fucking fat and out of shape I was. And I went down. And for the last year, I've basically been working out by myself. I used to go to Kung Fu with the brothers, aka Kung Fu with the niggas down on Vermont. But it's an hour and a half to go down there.

You've got to get in your car at fucking 9.20 to be down there at 10. And they go to 11.30 and I'm busy. I had the other podcast. I'm always meeting somebody, right? So right now I'm looking for a program up here. So I think I'm going to go over to Muay Thai American and start doing the 10 a.m. class in the morning. Yeah.

It's an hour class. You start throwing some kicks with Jesus because what I'm doing. Yeah. You got to throw side kicks for Jesus. When you're by yourself, you work out. Like this Sunday's I go, I do 35 to 45 minutes on the bicycle. If I'm just warming up, I'll do 20 minutes on the bicycle. And then I do the Dolce thing for 20 minutes on the treadmill.

And then I'll hit the bag for like 35 minutes. Just a little move they taught me just to keep going. So instead of doing this shit on the treadmill or whatever the fuck you do, I'm going to do it on the bag. But I have an impact like swing those shoulders into it. So I try to do that a couple of fucking days a week. And then I lift weights. You know, I do a whole body thing twice a week.

But after a while, your body gets used to all this shit. So you got to switch it up. So I've been trying to go over to North Hollywood Park and running around like doing like the French, you know, walk for a minute and run for 10 seconds, that type of shit. And that's not bad. But again, I got to take the strong joint because what I'm trying to do is up my metabolism isn't so I could fucking burn this body fat. You know what?

I'm like 300 pounds now and I really want to go down to 240 and get low. If I'm going to fucking live, I'm going to go down to 240. If I'm going to be the next Charles Bronson, I got to get this fucking party started. Lee, what music you got from me on the way out? The one I have set up is My Generation. Hit it. But if I could do something else, we could do that. Damn, man, man, man.

I like the hoop. In fact, we're going to do Who's Next this week. That's one of my all time favorite albums. Quadrofini is one of my all time favorite albums. We're going to start getting down and dirty. A lot of people still mad at me over the Tom Waits thing. I don't give a fuck. He sucks.

All right. And I fucking shoot hate Springsteen too. So that's how that goes. Tomorrow, we'll be up at 6 a.m., fucking California time. Look at Lee. He's all like, fuck. Yeah, bitch. 6 a.m., California.

9 a.m., we're going to have Danny's brother called who just did 21 fucking years. He's going to talk about when he was 14. I brought a bag of mushrooms and gave it to him from Colorado. Not like you pussies. What's a sativa? What's an indigo? Who gives a fuck? Just eat the fucking mushrooms and shut your mouth.

Are they psilocybin? Are they this? Are they natural grown? Shut the fuck up and eat the fucking mushrooms. I love you guys. Give a kiss to the flying Jew, my main man. Don't forget testicle testaments. Put it in somebody's stocking.

Put a nutsack in fucking somebody's stocking. Don't forget to brush your teeth. I got to go to dentist on Friday. Don't make me forget Lee. All right. I got to come back from New York and go to fucking dentist. I love you guys. Have a great Sunday with your family.

Go to church. Enjoy him. Remember, the week starts tomorrow. You can do whatever the fuck you want to do starting tomorrow. Hit it, Lee. You bad motherfucker. You. My generation.

Just my generation, baby. Why don't you all fade away? Don't try to dig what we all say. Don't give up my generation. I'm not trying to cause a big sensation. I'm just talking about my generation. My generation. My generation.

My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation.

My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation.

My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation.

My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation.

My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation.

My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation. My generation.