Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 11/28/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #34

Episode Date: November 30, 2012

Hey Guys. Joey and Lee talk about Angus Jone's comments and how Joey feels about content on tv. You might be surprised to hear what he has to say. They also talk about Joey's Go Daddy commercial and the commercial process, and finally we have a surprise visit from Joey's wife. Guest Tim Donaghy calls in to talk about his time as an NBA ref and what led to him being sent to jail for betting on games. This podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com Use the promo code CHURCH for a discount. Streamed live on 11/28/2012

What's up with that finger, I'm just gonna quit with the finger, what's happening? These beautiful people, kick that shit Lee, don't lower it, we talk over the fuck, this is money by Pink Floyd, you gotta be a fucking savage to lower that shit, good morning, money, welcome to the church of what's happening now, your host Joey Cocodillas, your main man, Lisa Yacht, the flying Jew over here, listen to the fucking money and he'll always hit it, Lee, what, it's a fucking gas, Lee, grab that cash with both hands that make your steps, go Lee, come on baby, a new car cabler, what, maybe think about me, a football team, what, little tight register, oh shit, take it, what's happening, beautiful, it's

a beautiful Wednesday morning, November 28th, it's a beautiful day to be alive and the beauty is you can do whatever the fuck you wanna do today because it's that type of day, sons of fucking anarchy last night, we got one more episode, I mean this fucking year went fast on sons of anarchy and what they do is they do like an hour and a half, they curse, they're talking about sucking dick on there and shooting people but I think they lower the season, I think there was like 11 episodes or something like that, but I'll tell you what, it took some great twists, you know, I watch sons of anarchy every week, I like it and I was telling somebody in Arizona, when I was in Arizona last week, I go look

up, let me be as honest as I can with you, I see a lot of holes in sons of anarchy, like there's a lot of little TV holes, but that's in every show, you know what I'm saying, but for the most part it entertains me, I get entertained for an hour, I don't wanna see nobody but a modern family, I wanna see somebody get stabbed and shot and some hooker's getting shot in the fucking leg, that's what's in my mind, that's a free show in my mind, so that's what I wanna fucking watch and I'll tell you what, Jack's Teller, he's a great character, he fucked up Clay Morrow last night, but Clay Morrow ain't out of it yet, that's why this fucking show, Clay Morrow's never out of it, Danny Trejo plays Machete's Great

in this, oh is he in that full time? Yeah, he's the cartel, the black guy Daemon Pope and I didn't really think that he was gonna give Tigan to Daemon Pope because that's a deal they made in prison when they killed Opie's character, but it's really gone from one extreme to another this year and it's just sad that it's the last episode is December 4th, that's a big Cuban holiday, Chungo's birthday shit, so I gotta be home Monday night early and lie the candle at midnight for this fucking thing. What's Chungo? Chungo's like a big god in Cuba, you know, Cuba's as a Catholic country, so they celebrate the gods, the whole fucking country's Cuban, they got a few Jews, you know they show, but I never loved the

reason, you know, a lot of people don't know a lot of little things about Cuba, you know, I always talk about the bond between the Irish and the Cuban, the Battle of the Boyne, 1680 when a lot of people went down, a lot of Irish went down to Cuba, that's why there's so many Cuban-Irish people. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but it's fucking weird, like the first big Chinatown was in Cuba till like 1950 something, you know, there was more Cadillacs in Cuba in 1957 than what there were in the United States, did you know that's a world on fucking fact, 1957, 1958, there was more Cadillacs on that fucking island than what there were in the whole United States, that's an amazing fucking fact. Why is that? Because

everybody was slinging dick against the style, Doug, you know, when you talk to a Cuban guy, an old school Cuban guy, all they know is Cadillac, they don't know poor, sure, you know, their dream was to come to the United States and get a Cadillac, okay, that's what it was to be successful in Cuba, fucking Cadillac, this is when Detroit meant something, a fucking Cadillac, when you came in the 60s and you got the Cadillac, next time you're looking for a car, whatever, you got nothing to do, just look for a Cadillac, 1968, Electra 225, and go look at it and touch the metal on this car, look at the seats, look at what luxury was and what success was in this country 30, 40 years ago, it was a fucking Cadillac, bro, it's a, there's a funny line in Scarface

when they go, it's a Cadillac, when she won't get in the car, do you remember, it's a Cadillac, like she's supposed to fucking jump, that's part of the white generation, they want Porsches, but the old school motherfuckers to them, success, life meant the Cadillac. When did your parents come here, I don't think I ever asked you that. They came over like in the fucking 50s, early 50s, late 40s, you know, my mother got into a beef over my aunt Rosita and some guy tried to rape her when she was 15 or 16, so the story on the street is my mother stabbed them, they got her out of the country, and then she came back years later under a different name, and when she got back into the States, it wasn't like 9-11, that name

stayed, so that was her alias, her alias was Sophia Cecilia, who was her, in reality was her bookmaking partner's mother, Puerto Rican woman that used to come over every Saturday and iron at our house, that's why I'm naming my daughter Sophia, oh I didn't know that, yeah Sophia, Mercy's middle name, which is something to do with Terry's family, but it's funny because Mercedes is a big god in Cuba also, so I wanted a name of that, and without even knowing my wife named her that, so it's really fucking interesting, yeah so they have a huge Chinatown in Cuba, you know Columbus said that Cuba was the pearl of the fucking, of the west, whatever the fuck he called it, it's a beautiful place at that time, you know they have a big Jewish population,

you know, if you go to Miami that just didn't start right there, that's been going on for years, the Jewish know the Cubans are good people, and that's been going on for years, but anyway they got no fucking Cubans on Sons of Anarchy, I gotta get on there next year, but the fucking beauty of it, it has taken some great turns this year, and if you don't watch the show, watch the fucking show, and the good thing about Sons of Anarchy is they don't hire fucking pussies, you know, like this year they had some guy that killed a lady and tore a cat apart with his hands, he's the one, you know Sons of Anarchy always hires some weird things, but they don't hire like this fucking, this little Christian kid from fucking two and a half men, which listen let me

tell you something, let me be as honest as I can with you, I never watched the show, and when they made a big stink about it, I put it on, and I could not believe how dirty the show was, is it really? Yeah, for an eight o'clock show there's a lot of sexual innuendos, and I'm thinking to myself look at all these fucking hypocrites, you know, look at all these fucking hypocrites that, you know, will come to my show and say the show's dirty, this is an eight o'clock show, and ladies and gentlemen this is what pisses me the fuck off, like when people say I gotta fend it at your show, that's great, you're a fucking pussy, but let me tell you what offends me, when I'm watching eight o'clock TV, and let's pretend my niece is here and she's 11,

and I gotta explain what the fuck they're talking about, that insults the shit out of me, when I watch a condom commercial at seven fucking 15, you ever see that commercial? Really, that offends you? Oh my god, because I'm thinking that there's a bunch of 11 year olds that don't know what the fuck's going on, and now you just raised awareness on something, and if they're 11 they could be eight, they could be seven, just like I was. Yeah, I thought that show was like a laugh track stupid comedy, I didn't know it was, you know, and I like Charlie Sheen, don't get me wrong, and I've never watched it with Ashton Kutcher, but I will tell you that when I watch it with Charlie Sheen, I mean he slings dick on the show, that's really the show, I don't know what the other guy is,

the other guy's a gay guy trying to be straight, I don't know what the fuck he's trying to be, but I know the show isn't like, you know, family affair, like the shit I grew up on, you know, it's a little on the edge, it's right down the cutting edge, but this kid's been on the show since day one, so he's gotta be a multi-millionaire off this fucking show already, correct? Yeah, they're saying, I mean, I know it goes up every year, but right as of right now he's making $365,000 a week. You know, $360,000 a week, you get on that show, you shut your fucking mouth, and if the half-gay guy asks you to suck his dick, you suck it out of principle for $360,000, fucking dollars, okay? He's 19. 19, he went on, but he's hanging out with these fucking Christians,

little black guy, another guy that's fucking confused, he's another fucking yam that probably rides a skateboard with tight pants, and he forgets he's fucking black, you're gonna be black, be beautiful, like my man fucking, what's his name, Leroy Neckbone, he's fucking black, but he's beautiful, and he's fucking proud, he don't give a fuck, if you're gonna be black, and they sit there behind, oh, I'm a Christian, you're fucking black, cock-sucker, cut it out, all right? You're fucking black, get your shit together, and you got this little fag with the glasses on, talking about how the show is doing, that's backbiting, I've never, I would have fired his ass right off the fucking spot and replaced him with a little half-but-Chinese kid or something

that got hit in the head with a fucking hammer like this fucking Momo did, you know, you're paying him all that money, he wants to talk about that shit, say it later, but people don't know how hard it is to be on TV, like as an actor point of view, it is what it is, you're looking for a fucking job, but as a comic point of view, like people don't really know what happened with, what's his name, the guy that was uncommonly essential, you know, the guy that had the show that they gave him $50 million, Dave Chappelle, you're supposed to know this shit, Lee, this is I didn't know if you were talking about Tosh or who you were talking about. Tosh, I'm talking about Dave fucking Chappelle, by the way Joe Rogan gave me a shout out on

Daniel Tosh, I woke up this morning, I had a thousand things on Twitter, Facebook, people taped this to me, what the fuck people, get your shit together, but you know, we'll be talking about the little fucking half a fag, Chapelle, you know, when you're a stand-up comedy, and I talked to Tim Allen about this once, I had to open for him in Vegas, and when you're a stand-up comedy, you you do all these different fucking things, and you write and whatever, and sometimes you might have a line, I might come over to you and go, Lee, don't say that line, say this line all of a sudden it works and you're like, Joey, that was fucking great, thank you, we've been doing this for a long time, and what happens is this, we have respect for people, but I don't have

respect for a 22-year-old college student that just got out of Syracuse and walks over to me and tells me not to say that line, I've been doing comedy for 20 fucking years, and I don't know a lot about anything, but I also watched The Honeymooners, and I also grew up on the hot cup when I grew up on the Twilight Zone, I grew up on Benny Hill, that's as good as it gets on American television, I also grew up along the family, and I also grew up on Samson and the Son, I also grew up on Chico and the Man, and I also had Bonanz in there, so for you motherfuckers who think I'm just talking on a fucking line here, I've been watching phenomenal sitcoms, especially The Honeymooners, fucking especially, three writers wrote that and Jackie Gleason, Jackie Gleason hate to fucking

rehearse, watch The Honeymooners, watch those episodes when he has to take the train to the Rat Cool convention and he handcuffs himself to Norton, you know, that's genuine fucking comedy there, I watched these TV shows today and I giggle a little bit, they're interesting, they don't take me to where I need to be, I mean I don't know what the fuck happened to Dexter, I love fucking Dexter the first two seasons, I don't even, my wife asked me, is this the last season of Dexter, I hope so, the sister knows he's a fucking murderer, you know, but these kids come up to you and tell you what lines to say and what to do and it really eats away at people, when you're on a TV set sometimes, you get fucking aggravated, like I was fucking aggravated when I shot the last TV

show, I'm not gonna tell you what it was, because the director kept blasting Bruce Springsteen, born to be fucking wild, whatever, I wanted to shoot myself in the fucking head and I even went to one of the ideas and said what the fuck is this shit with this Bruce Springsteen shit, sorry about that, anyway I want to give a shout out to my sponsors, this show as usual is always brought to you by Onit.com, go to Onit, take a look at their products especially this fucking protein, it's almost empty, the hemp force with 16 grams of protein and 11 grams of fucking, but on top of that it tastes phenomenal, it's like drinking a fucking shake at an upburg or something and this, I started going to kickboxing class and this fucking

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you could buy hemp protein and hemp force and you could also buy a shroom tech sport just to get the party started and throw new mood in there, so when you wake up in the morning you're in a good mood, like Uncle Joy, like right now I'm fucking ready to go, even when he said to me, he goes, dog, what time do you wake up? I got home from the lab factory, I ate a fucking piece of apple, that's why my shit was so smelly this morning, I ate like two fucking apples and a pear and then I hit the crib about 10.30 but Gray was in the bed and I couldn't fall asleep, Gray was in bed with me all last night with me and my wife, Gray's the last cat I adopted about a year and a half ago that I love, she never mingles in that room at all, she never mingles at all,

she sits on the chair, she comes in here and breaks my balls, I give her a treat, I pick her up, I tell her I love her last night, she slept next to me the whole fucking night, every time I moved she was next to me, I had to be aware of her, she just cupped in between my fucking legs and it's weird, I was in the bathroom this morning when I got out of the shower when Lee comes over and before Lee comes in the office, he plays with the fucking cats for like five or six minutes. Yeah it's getting longer, like 10 minutes today. You love it, Lee, explain to the people how cool these motherfuckers are. They're crazy, I'm honest, I wasn't never a cat person, I used to be really allergic, like when I first started coming over here I couldn't be here for that long

and it started out with Fidel because he's out all the time because people joke about it but you really do have a lot of cats and at first like Fidel and Finney will be out but now all the cats like me and especially Harry, Harry's my guy so he has a cat post in the living room and as soon as I come in they all start meowing at me but it's crazy, they're there, they're there because they're up now but they're really there because they're guarding your wife and it's a crazy thing to see, wherever your wife is they follow her. Oh my god it's fuck, they won't even come in here. The boys love my wife, what's happening honey, how you feeling? Say hello to the people at home, showing me belly and shit, come here, say hello, we're talking about the cats, look at my wife's

fucking, I know, I know, look at her fucking belly guys, this is the real deal right here, holy shit, this is a couple weeks away and stuff here huh, I'll be fucking dead in a couple weeks. Oh they can see it, they can't see your face though, that's perfect, that's my belly right there. Now I love my wife but she's not dolled up this morning, she's got a little fucking gerrygar, see her titties, her titties out, that's the belly right there, all right honey, you're dismissed and shit, you want to say anything for the people of the church, what's happening now? I know, I'm a fucking idiot, it's five in the morning, I'm over here talking shit, thank you, thank you, and that's right and I grew up on another show that was classic,

also called Get Smart, thank you my man JP Gomez, always dropping knowledge, Get Smart was like that. This is a preview to the Diaz reality show, you would love all this shit wouldn't you, me and with my wife calling me names in front of fucking people insulting me and shit like that. Why are you listening to my husband? I know, so anyway go to honnit.com, when you order this stuff I'm the way out, press church in so they know that I'm doing my fucking job and we continue doing this podcast because this supports fucking Lee and you know this all helps us out, you know I love you guys, the holidays are coming, we got a couple more fucking days for the holidays, it's amazing but the end of the world, did you see Rogan last night, he was with Stanhope last

night I guess on Daniel Taj doing a sketch of the man show or something like that and on the way out he said we're doing a show December 21st, that's still going on so we'll burn fucking theater, I will not be in Austin this week, I am headed to New York this afternoon after my audition until fucking Saturday or Sunday or Monday so we will be doing the next podcast next Monday morning that we'll not forget about you motherfuckers then straight on then Lee's going to Boston so we're going to be doing a couple of them, Lee's going to teach me how to just set this up, I'm just going to go on here in the mornings and talk to you motherfuckers, I'm not even going to tape nothing, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing you know what I'm saying, I'll figure it out,

let me give some shout outs to some beautiful fucking people here, some friends of the podcast today, you got my man Greg, I don't even know how to, Greg Gantry is some shit, Nick Magneto, Louis B.A., Gary O'Donnell, Colin O'Rafity, Mr. Barraza, Van Haben, I love this motherfucker, he's been around for a while, Mark Haya, Donnie Hastings, MJ Rivera, Happy Birthday, Coxsucker and Shock Monkey, Shock the monkey bitches, you bad motherfuckers, I love you too, Tim Donahue is going to be calling, he have a ref that went nomad and started betting games in the mob and then he did some time, he's going to call back with his book personal file, we're going to talk about that and I want to talk about something else that people have been bugging

me about because I never talk, listen guys, I don't like talking about this shit, but if you guys bug me about it, then I'll talk to you about it, the Go Daddy commercial, everybody's hitting me on it, thank god they're hitting it up in Canada so you guys could see it, don't ask me, I got a call to do a pizza fucking commercial, going for a pizza thing, I went in there was the Allstate one, it was an Allstate pizza commercial that's running, two guys and they're in there and they try to be cute, the one guy was on the surprise, okay, I went in to read for that like on a Monday, I never thought about it again, now Wednesday I got another call and they said, hey you're going in for GoDaddy.com as a pizza man, when I went down the guy walked over to me,

he goes Joey don't be New York in this, they want a regular pizza guy, don't be fucking New York, so I walked in there like Johnny Whitebread, I walked in there and I fucking read and that was it, they didn't even respond to me, didn't even respond to me, nothing, they just looked at me like I fought it, so no worries, I don't get mad at fucking nobody, I leave and I get a call back, they say you got it, you're going back for the pizza commercial, but I thought it was definitely the Allstate one, when I looked at the computer on the thing it was GoDaddy, so I go wow, GoDaddy wanted me, they didn't want it in New York, that's why you never know nothing Lee, that's why when I talk to you about this shit you never know nothing, GoDaddy won, so I get down

and the guys are coming here again, he goes I guess they wanted a New Yorkie, but just tighten your shit, they don't want it too New York, you're too soprano, you're too whatever, so I go in, I don't know what to do when I realize the guy is English, the director's English, if they're English we're in because they like it loud and they're marches and rambunctious and me calling them a bloody fucking cunt, you know they don't give a fuck, that's why I love the fucking English because they don't give a fuck, that's why you supposed to talk, that's fucking English, okay, you go to English they call you a bloody fucking cunt, okay, so I go in and the guy is laughing the director which I know he would and he's yelling these things for me to say get the fuck out of

here and all this shit, I'm like wow and I got in the car and I called Ari, my advisor, my other Jewish advisor, he's on his way to Minneapolis, if you're in Minneapolis this week, anywhere in the area, Wisconsin, whatever the fuck you live up there, go see my man Ari Shafir, he's at the mall of America at the house of Rick Bronson's house of comedy, go see him, so I call Ari and I go Ari, I don't know nothing about nothing but I just booked this fucking commercial because you know, there's times you go in for a commercial that's completely different than a theatrical audition, there's times you go in for a commercial and they don't say nothing to you and you leave there and you get the call the next day you book the commercial and you're like

oh my god are they fucking retarded and then there's times you go in there and kill and you walk out and go I got this commercial and you don't even get a fuck, you don't even get put on hold and they're like what the fuck and usually when they put people on hold you're in the top three there's three choices and then they make a that's hold and they'll say your second choice or whatever so I just fucking knew in the next day him and I were going somewhere Ari and I or me and somebody Joe Rogan were flying somewhere so what I did the next day was I on the plane I told my agent that day I was at Chicago we were somewhere I called my agent I go hey I'm fucking leaving tomorrow but they're gonna call you and I guess he hears this from everybody the next day when I got off

the fucking as soon as the plane lands I got sprint bitch those motherfucking messages were popping I was like I looked at it was him going where are you we need to confirm this fucking commercial and I went to Pasadena in fact I put the thing on because somebody sent me a video last night of the making of it behind the scenes I watched that yeah so somebody sent me that last night so I put it up and uh you know guys listen when I first got here a lot of people don't know is maybe the Taco Bell commercial with the dogs yeah I did the first one here and you don't even see me in the fucking commercial I made a ton of loot on it was the first paid there I had 10 fucking years since I got divorced so it all went up my nose and the other half went to the fucking attorneys

Coke zero bitches I don't even like drinking this is the one I need something to bring in here I had grape juice and water I had I really had a big glass of water it sits in my stomach it feels weird yeah I don't like water in the morning that I really like that I've been on just water so I'm used to it now but I know you mean just water look at you you fucking savage I'm I'm fucking exhausted but it's helping I'm trying I you got it what were you saying I was gonna say anyways but the commercial yeah so uh so I fucking uh went up there and uh Pasadena and I shot I didn't even know I you know I've seen the Danny compatriot ones that go daddy and I didn't know that and they really hired me if you really think about it because how fucking ugly I am and they didn't hire me because

I'm no great actor or because I'm no fucking Stanislavsky the commercial wasn't even funny I couldn't even get my shit off it was it was funny and I noticed uh the other in the other commercial you probably weren't there with her but that that girl from that Cedric that Cedric the entertainer pilot who was in the manhole she did another one yeah but uh my favorite part of that commercial with you is at the end and you obviously haven't cooked a pizza but I know you're not supposed to squeeze the dough in the last shot is you just squeezing like just mushing the dough at the end oh it's like an ass they told me to squish it like that it kills me every time you know it's crazy the pizza at that place wasn't bad the cheese was delicious was that healthy

was it actually like hot pizza yeah it was hot pizza it was like mozzarella cheese from new york old school that whole milk mozzarella a lot of places don't have that and I know when I taste it I know exactly when I taste it what it should taste like and I'll tell you I got that I was stoned to the fucking gills you know eight o'clock in the morning and I was fucking starving you know I must have a bowl of oatmeal here in an apple that shit don't hold when you're gonna set anything fucking goes when I'm gonna set I fucking eat like a savage I don't give a fuck I take the coffee I steal the tampons I take the tums I fucking clean them out I don't give a fuck but uh what was he talking about oh yeah I got up there and I started eating the pizza leave

right I started eating the cheese and globs off the pizza because they had 20 pies I didn't give a fuck that's why when it was eating the cheese by that point I was just spitting it out okay I had eaten 20 pounds of fucking cheese it took me four days to shit after I shut that fucking commercial it was like taking a bike in it I was constipated for a fucking week from that thing but we shot it and I'm very fortunate and you know what guys let me tell you something I go into those things I go like people always oh we see your commercial you lucky fuck listen if you had any idea how many auditions I do go in for commercials you could you say Joey you're a fucking loser guy you know you're going for 20 or commercials you only book one you know man it's so slow these days that they

sent out so many fucking people that when you go to a commercial audition that used to be 20 now there's 80 wow when you go to a callback it used to be six or seven now there's 20 so it's very hard and what they do on the big commercials like Budweiser and stuff that towards the end even if you're not that person they call you and like if you book a lot of commercials you notice that there's people that book a lot of commercial I've seen a bunch of them yeah they just come there's the one right now that the machine gets stuck have you seen that one the camera gets stuck with a kid and his wife and they have a boy have you seen forward for a product I have no fucking idea for some cable thing the cable keeps getting stuck she comes out of the shower and it's stuck that kid is a comic he's running just

five of those yes you know I've seen five or six of those and he's like in three other ones I was never a fucking I don't have a social life face as they say so they won't put me around come what the fuck is a social lightly look at a white like a whore a white whore that's what it's right they go to parties they throw parties parasol and they mingle and shit like that I never fucking knew what that was they keep talking about that for proteases you know the proteas the fucking colonel who cheated a betray us betray us whatever his fucking name is that the chick I fucking I used to date the stripper yeah and she used to say that when she lived in Michigan she was sort of a social like in the back of my mind I just thought it meant whore yeah I don't mean to insult Kara I

love Kara like that she's dear friend but that's what I thought it basically does I mean social I don't use the fuck so you just go to parties that's right baby van heber he's a good fucking dude that's what Kardashian is he's a fucking you're a good man dog you always send love and positive energy that's all I'm loving Twitter now I'm fucking loving my Twitter and my Facebook because we got all the fucking mooks out of the way we got a big fucking Death Squad family we got Death Squad Connecticut Death Squad Kentucky Death Squad fucking Brazil we got Death Squad Cuba we got three Cubans down there playing the bongos yelling death squad death squad what time is it here Leo what we're talking about was I was telling Lee Lee Leland that I got these you know I haven't

been smoking heavy duties lately what I do is I smoke the fucking vapor pen where's my vapor pen I forgot to hit it for you guys today I'm sorry oh Lee Lee Leland lick my big balls suck my duck anyway sing the song every day when I come in different every time Lee I gotta sing you a fucking song you know I'm saying we gotta chill me the song about me with the joey deers the shows gotta make a song about you now the flying fucking joy love chili he's over there in Chicago smoking reeve with Puerto Ricans hmm so anyway we got the vapor pen I got the headband in here and I got some fucking Louis the 16th I gotta go over to NOC and oh when do I get this and no organic no how organic

they're my boys but uh divine wellness is the fucking king of edibles I know Lee I'm getting fucked up in a terry who you looking over there huh you looked at like the wall oh my god what am I gonna do by the time I got hot here with my wife I salute the Clint Eastwood things happen uh so every once in a while I go over and I get the I get the uh where the fuck is the card uh the uh anti-dalarus treats like they have the the mint chocolate chip like today I got no addition to ten after three I gotta go to kickboxing and I got a spot at the ha ha maybe later tonight right on all flappers I'm just gonna go work some shit out for the weekend right yeah but I gotta fly out what the fuck am I talking about I said I gotta fly out so instead of eating a big cookie because

I'm looking at calories again now it's the holidays these are these fucking hash caps they have like hashroll and I tell you about this show me it's 100 milligrams a piece and I'm gonna open up the day with two just to show you motherfuckers how we do it here you know what I'm saying oh yeah look at these motherfuckers look one of these weekends we have to do one where you take that at the beginning and like we just come back like four hours later just when I get fucked up and giggly that's when people call me they get fucked up and giggle we got we got a great album for you today after the call I'm just waiting on Tim Donahue to call but I'm happy we got to talk about the commercial yeah what else we got to talk about today because a lot of people don't know that I do

it all I don't fuck around guys okay some weeks I finally want to do a commercial I did a tv show last week partners sometimes I do chemo it's not what I wanted to do but it helps my insurance and for you people like Joey you're a seller no I do everything we need to get richer prize didn't have all this tv he would do it today too all these guys are gonna want to sell I get the fuck out of here I'm just trying to fucking feed my I got mouse to feed you know I'm saying I got mouse to feed like fucking the narrow in uh in the raging boom well when you brought it up I was gonna ask you about it that portrays thing doesn't I don't understand why I bother people I mean he cheated on somebody I mean I I guess like if you was giving away state secrets oh we'll have to finish this

later we got Tim Donigan uncle Tim what's happening brother hey pal how you doing you know me trying to put the pieces together thank you very much for calling you know my uh the people from the church what's happened now they've listened to your partner Danny B for a long time he's a dear friend of mine we grew up together in Jersey and uh he told us a little about you that you were going into business what's going on in your world my man uh not too much just uh you know hanging out with Danny B trying to put some winning picks out there and uh you know trying to put some money in our pocket you're beautiful now where you're from originally he said Pennsylvania outside of Philly yeah I grew up in Havertown and then moved out to Westchester and then uh moved

down here to Sarasota Florida holy shit and you're also in uh you also went to Villanova yep went to Villanova and uh got a liberal arts degree and started refereeing basketball games and made it all the way up to the NBA you're a bad motherfucker now were you down there with Raleigh Massimino yes I was no you were there no you fucking weren't come on that's amazing my friend yeah yeah he won the national championship and then the next year that's when I went to Villanova wow wow who won that national championship let's see if your memory is still good who was on that team because I can't fucking remember oh it wasn't Jack the Goose givings was it it was Ed Picney it was um Dwayne and Gary McLean yes okay uh Harold Jensen remember he hit those

short little jumpers he got like six for six in the game um yeah those are the guys that I can remember wow that's uh and what level did you get into uh refereeing at what level I had high school or college or where do you start when you want uh I mean I started you know refereeing you know young little kids games and just worked my way up my dad was a college basketball referee so that kind of helped with my name and from there I just kind of moved up quickly went to a couple camps got seen by the right people and you know next thing I know I was uh you know out in California being scouted by uh the NBA that is fucking amazing and how long after they scouted you that they pick you up four years and then they retrain you yeah then they retrain you to their

style of what they want called and what they don't want called and you know the NBA uh you know dudes and don'ts of you know star treatment basically wow now I have not read your book but uh this afternoon I will go to the mall and get it because I love reading especially about all that type of stuff and what went down with you so basically what went down how long were you in refereeing before you started gambling if you don't mind me asking if there's anything off limits here just let me know brother I love you to definitely you can ask me whatever you want pal nothing's off limits I refereed for 13 years gambled for uh you know uh on NBA and NFL and college and everything under the sun for about my last three or four years in the NBA so uh it was just you

know it became a situation where I just love the action and you know whether it was on the golf course or playing cards in the back room roll and dice or or betting on sporting events I just was uh you know in a situation where I love the action and and I did it and once you started betting the NBA how long did it take before I mean when you first started betting it you knew you were doing something wrong or you weren't doing something wrong fill me in what were you what were your thoughts yeah I definitely was I definitely was doing something wrong what I was doing was I was using relationships that existed within the NBA both positive and negative of the referees and the players and the coaches and the owners knowing that uh some teams are put in an advantage

or disadvantage and uh you know I was telling a bloody of mine who uh you know could play some action on some games you know who to bet and uh you know we were we were hitting it about 75 percent correct wow and that's how it started that's how it started well it started you know betting football betting college baseball betting college football and then you know I just slowly you know you know got full of myself and we just started crossing the line that I shouldn't have been near with you know my my job that I had with the family that I needed to support and you know basically I just screwed up and crossed that line and you know started the bet on NBA games because it was so easy you know I knew I'd be at lunch with somebody maybe tell me

how they're gonna stick it up uh you know Kobe Bryant's ass tonight or how you know they had a bad game the last time they had Lebron James so they're gonna take care of him a little bit tonight you know so there was uh you know some stuff that was going on behind the scenes that put one team or another at an advantage that's fucking amazing man that's and I listen you know I gambled I come from that area and I gambled early on it was one of those things Tim that I knew I liked but I tell you what I hated doing was paying because I'd have to go oh I fucking hated paying because I'd have to go out and rob for the fucking money and you know between me and you who the fucking my kid and I lost every week Tim so every week I'd have to go mug somebody or rob a drug

dealer's house and then it was uh 83 or the year when the Redskins played uh the Dolphins in the Super Bowl and my roommate was up 30,000 we were 18 Tim 18 just got out of high school right and uh he was up his name was Ferney he was up 30,000 going into that game and he ended up losing 40 plus he sat on 20 and I ended up losing like a thousand and the guys came to the house and I had to give money for every every week for a couple weeks and I remember going you know what if I'm gonna pay money I'm gonna snort coke if I'm gonna spend this money I'm either gonna snort coke and jerk off and look out a window and at least get something out of it then just give it and that's why I quit gambling I swear to god Tim I hated fucking paying I fucking hated it I couldn't even imagine like I

I'll pay anything for I'm not cheap I don't give a fuck but I wanted something for my money so I know how fast you got caught in it and uh after you started winning what happened they approached you the guys with the suits on or what happened now what happened was is you know like you said I got uh you know the guilt feeling you know like I shouldn't be doing this you know we got to stop we were winning so much and I kept going to the guy that was placing the bets for us we're gonna stop so finally we stopped it's over I'm in Philadelphia one night and what I didn't know was the guy I was giving the pics to was relaying them to people that were associated with organized crime they were banging making hundreds of thousands of dollars millions of dollars so what

happened is I'm now in Philadelphia after we stop and like one buddy from high school calls around says I'm gonna take you out to dinner I said all right come on down so uh he drives down there's this guy that is associated with the game being a crime family who tells me he's been getting my pics for two years they've been killing it and you know the pics are going to come through him now I said what are you talking about he says you know what I'm talking about you don't want somebody visiting your wife and kids in Florida do you or do you want us to go to the NBA and tell them what you've been doing so they had me so I had to relay the pics through my high school buddy to this guy and he started you know making a portion but he was running his fucking mouth so

much he got caught over game being a wire cat and that's how the investigation started holy shit so when did they nail you yeah so they showed up at your house they showed up to the NBA first no no what happened was is they uh the the high school buddy who you know brought this guy down to me calls me one day and he says the FBI's been to his house four or five times and I knew I was fucked I knew this guy was gonna you know eventually tell them everything and it was you know rumors that the story was spreading anyway so uh I went to an attorney who contacted the United States attorney and he said you tell Tim Dungey we know what he did it's just a matter of time before we come get him we're putting the puzzle pieces together he's better off coming to us

before we come to him because if we have to come get him he's going to jail for a long long time along with losing this job but if he comes to us he's just gonna lose his job well that didn't happen they still put me in jail I ended up going to them and and telling them everything and I still went to jail how long did you do how much time did you do I did uh about 13 months Jesus Christ and they put you in a federal place they put me in yeah federal place and you know I did two months in like a uh maximum security uh county jail and then we violated me from the halfway house we're going to a health club really we'll be in uh in solitary confinement in the county jail it was awful holy shit that's amazing yeah they violate you for anything they violated

me a couple times they will fucking violate your ass so you've been uh you want to know how the the lady that ran the halfway house the first day I get there she pulls me in her office and starts reading me the riot act because the media's out front people are taking pictures and she actually walked by me with two bags of mcdonalds she was about 250 pounds and the guy that I knew from the the prison that I was out says who's leaving the halfway house in like two days god you think she needs that mcdonalds and I turned around looked at her with a like and lay up a little bit and she said you think he's funny and right then and there I get off on the wrong foot with her and and you know a month later I was violated wow yeah they'll fucking violate you for anything so you've uh you

got out you're free on probation now are you still on probation I just got off probation uh a month ago a couple weeks ago and you know working with uh you know dany at danybywins.com and and putting out some winners and and just uh trying to grow his business bigger and stronger than ever you know I'm no dany for uh I gotta say 30 years I've known him since we grew up pretty much together and the reason why I'm friends with him and I'm so lucky is because I still have him in my life I mean I don't see him every fucking year or nothing but just the fact of us talking you know uh you're in with a you're in with a fucking really good guy and he's crazy Tim he's fucking crazy like I am but his heart's in the right place you know Lee knows my the flying we're all we're all crazy but

he's a winner man he's a winner and I'm glad to be you know and I'm happy and I'm happy that uh you know my home I've been doing this podcasting for two years at the beauty of the beast with Felicia and I'm doing this one with Lee called the church what's happening now and what this show is basically about is what happened to me second chances so as far as I'm concerned brother you got my heart I'm happy that you paid your debt to society you fucked up and you're out there again and now you gotta do whatever you gotta do to feed the fucking family and I'm really proud of you for that you did your time and you came out it's like a hitch in the army ain't it yeah yeah it's you know no doubt man it's uh it's it's tough and like you said I gotta provide for

the family and and this is uh you know a great way to do it you know Danny's been doing great knocking him dead and and I'm fortunate that he's put me uh you know on his uh on a ship that's sound pretty good what's your relationship now with the NBA are they talking to you do you get a piece of your pension I mean what's going on now well the funny thing is is you know the NBA has my pension and I owe them restitution uh in the amount of $200,000 for uh you know what their fee was to do the investigation after all this went down so um you know right now it's you know everything's kind of on hold uh until this restitution gets paid off but you know little by little I'm chipping away at it and you know at some point it's going to be behind me all right

man you got a book out there I do I got a book out there called personal foul and uh it's uh you know on Amazon.com's the best spot to get it and it definitely shows you what I did and how I did it and uh the blueprint for how I continue to pick winners today with Danny. Now let me ask you this and you know we gotta we gotta ask you this because do you miss it do you miss fucking getting on plans and fucking making the calls and having a steak at Morton's and getting dick sucked and doing blow it's it's a great fucking life you know what I'm saying it really is yeah I just read it you know it's a it's a rock it's a rock star life man you're out on the road you're visiting different cities you're you know running up and down the court with the greatest athletes in

the world yeah certainly I miss it I mean if I could turn back time I certainly would but you know it's it's in the past right now and and uh you know I'm moving forward and like I said Danny B's a a winner and things are going great with him right now and I'm hoping that things continue you know I'm uh I'm I'm I'm I'm in fucking shock that I'm on the phone with an MBA and how you did it I mean it's not like uh you know I mean uh you did it from scratch and that's the most important thing and whatever happened fuck it you blew it you did it your way like Sinatra and you got no motherfucking regrets and that's the way to live your life brother fuck it you know it was a part of your life you paid your time it's not like you're still doing

or whatever you still got the it's to gamble like I said you know uh Tim if I had fucking balls I'd still be putting in hundred timers every night that's what it is to have balls and throwing TVs out the window eventually you just get sick and fucking tired of it you know you go fuck this I can't do this no more so I it all came to an end and in a way I bet you were happy at the end there was a relief you know yeah no doubt about it I mean certainly uh you know there was a lot of pressure back then and and it's gone now and you know like I said you know I'm moving forward having a good positive attitude uh and uh you know things are going to turn back around they already started too so it's uh it's it's it's going to work out who do you like tonight there's

any NBA action that you like tonight that you took a look at because he was also saying not you know what it is not only go to Danny B wins but he also go to he said to go to tdwins.com also is that the same company yeah same company Danny B wins.com tdwins.com I actually it's a little early now they don't put the referee list out till about uh you know 9 30 10 o'clock and and that's what I do I check out those referees that are on the game and uh you know I make my decisions based on that I have a nice lengthy conversation with Danny B and and uh you know we we pick the games and pick the winners and we go from there listen man I want uh everybody here uh to get your book you know read it I want you to come back on in a few months and let me know how you're

just into this new life and how you're doing with your winners and uh but most importantly your fucking life uh you you sound great like I said bro in this life if you don't make a fucking mistake you're slipping because that's what this life is about to make mistakes and to grow you know so hey man you got you got a home here anytime you want to call and give us a pick or just say hello Tim you sound like uh I'll tell you what if whoever calls the office today or uh you know goes in and looks at tdwins.com and gets the 800 number calls the office today we will give them a a free pick if they mention your show okay what's the 800 number do you know it off the top of you yes I sure do it's 800 308 9003 308 9003 Mr. D I fucking love you congratulations on your book

congratulations on your life man you fucked up but you're coming back like stronger than debt you know I'm saying I hear you pal and anyone that's out there betting money on the ball games give us a call tonight we'll hook you up with a free winner and uh then we'll do some business let's do it man have a great week Tim congratulations on the book and uh your new life brother all right thank you sir all right my man have a good day okay what the fuck did you think of that you know I wanted to ask more questions but I was just embarrassed I'll wait till the next time you know we'll get we'll get him next time but that uh I I always knew that they're giving preferential treatment especially the fucking LeBron because he never gets a foul called on him he never

follows out and I wanted to ask him when he said he he picks games based on the ref list that comes out whenever the Celtics are in the playoffs is this fucking a thousand-year-old ref who looked like he like he could barely move but he fucking calls everything on us and I wanted to ask him about him but we'll get him next time but I know I guarantee it there's rest that have you know they have fucking problems with uh with different players or they don't or yeah you know listen if LeBron James is driving you gotta assume this every time he drives he's gonna get fouled oh so what's he gonna do foul out fucking both teams so sometimes they call him on him and sometimes they see the extent of the foul what's going on during the shot you know if it's a force foul I mean I'm

the same way there's a lot of shit I wouldn't fucking call because it just happens you're going for the ball yeah you're both going for the fucking ball you know I know a lot of times I get got called on shit I looked around but uh I gotta tell you something this is on the serious side you know I fucked around with drugs for a long time I did a lot of crazy shit guns and all that gambling scared this shit out of me Lee did that's one thing I wanted to ask him if you know the Gambino family that I don't know how that's over but well it is what happened you have these people you know the Gambino's listen all the mafia doesn't have the power they used to have but they still control you know minimal book making operations you know after a while if I

controlled the operation first of all I wouldn't put my action in with the same people I'd spread it around I have three or four different bookmakers nobody would catch on okay that's what you do so nobody catches on either the same when I was doing bluff I would have three or four dealers so nobody knew the exact amount I was buying I would never want nobody to know exactly that I was buying if you don't see me but every other night you're thinking I don't come to you but every other night but I'm going out compadre the other week and the other nights I'm going to the black guy and the other I'm going to to John Blaze my other dealer that ran a bar and he wasn't the original John Blaze I'm the original John Blaze but uh you know that's what you do you spread it out okay you

never want somebody to really know what you're doing I I started gambling uh you know I grew up in a numbers house and numbers to me was very innocent uh the the Bolita is a Spanish uh book making thing that started in Cuba and it went to Tampa and then from Tampa went up to New York and then the Bolita they take the last three numbers of the mutual of the track so whatever the track makes for the day you look at the last three numbers and that's the number for the day if you're in New York they go by the Aqueduct number Belmont or there's another track they go down by the shore uh Danny talked about at the uh they mom was so it's the last three numbers of the total mutual what that track makes for the fucking day and that's what my family was into but that crosses

hands and hands with sports betting and I'm going to tell you guys the truth it was uh gambling affects men but when it really affects you when it gets a hold on a woman when gambling gets a hold on a woman it fucks them up there's 60 minute things about women gambling in Connecticut they have a lot of problems now with the casinos women are getting addicted I never heard that that's fuck yeah women are getting addicted to these fucking little video games uh okay and because now they have these video games that are like regular video games that you're gambling and they affect the mind so much during gambling it's not just calling the game and watching the game these people go to that casino in Connecticut what's the name of it we can son Foxwood and

we can son and these housewives are getting addicted those are the scariest things and I saw what it did to my mother gambling destroyed my mother when she lost the bar the last two years of my mother's life was dedicated to the fucking Yankees and the Mets and the Boston Red Sox and she lost every time she had she had 30 years of savings you know lost I mean point when my mother died it was she died because she was broke she's like a Cuban Jew she knew that she was done she already refied the house she fucking forged the signature of my father she had done it all she had $250,000 in pawned jewelry that means she had $700,000 worth of gold diamond jewelry that's what my mother's gambling addiction did to her that's so when I started gambling I always

kept that in mind and it fucking deterred me for life once I got to that hole in 83 man you know when like I fuck with you guys now from time to time I bet 50 I'll put a better than what the guy from the MMA plays for a fight but besides that I can't do it every night and I'll tell you what'll kill you basketball because it's every night it's like baseball so football don't fuck with you in the old days football and fuck with you because football was Saturday and Sunday Monday night football they caught on the fucking people so now they have Thursday night special edition Thursday night Thursday night college you think that's why they did it no they did it because they just want to sell programming yeah they did it because they got a fucking

site they said football is the only sport that has an injury report what is that injury report there for the fucking gamblers brother Vegas stays open from August 15th to February 3rd not because you know dizzy Gillespie's playing the trombone or fucking or some black guys cracking dirty jokes in the casino that's not what's keeping the casino open it's the fucking gambling you go and get all those free dinners and all that shit not because they're generous but because they hope they hope that you'll bring your credit cards with you and bet your grandmother on the fucking game that's what they're hoping for so that's what it's all built on from from let's be facing let's be honest here it's Vegas is not for anything else but oh my god the entertainment

the restaurants that's all the finger in the ass that's the dressing the main thing about Vegas is getting the money out of your fucking pocket once you're dropping 80 for a steak you don't give a fucking if you drop a hundred at the crap stable yeah that's how they make their fucking money you know so once I got caught up in it bro it scared me Lee Lee I didn't like it at all I didn't like losing I did not like fucking losing so that's it if you gamble please get it together also we're gonna vote Lee Syat and my man Neil Samuels into the Jewish Hall of Fame I'm trying to get the paperwork now how to push you guys up because if there's any Jew that belongs in the Hall of Fame it's you and Neil Samuels I was thinking about Jewish people yesterday and I'll tell you why I

love the Jews who shed comedy on their life and their culture you know my acupuncturist is Jewish and whenever she adds up my total she always goes can you believe this Joey I'm a Jew that can't add and I love when she says that because it makes me feel like I'm not crazy you know it's those Jews that are really uptight about their religion and shit you know in the back of their minds that drive me fucking crazy they act like fucking wasps and they're not they're fucking Jews act like one god damn it what's up Lee Syat you bad motherfucker we're almost out of here Lee I know you're tired Lee I feel good Lee you gotta get out of here you take another you can't take a new mood because then you'll be a little groggy it's at the trip to fan and you'll feel like that I take him before

I go to bed I feel good I like people on Twitter have been asking me and I've been trying on the weekends I have a little bit but I've been doing the no-soda thing and just because I leave the house every night at 5 30 I don't get home now until like 7 38 o'clock so it's just a long day these are these are fucking tough motherfucker don't ever get confused and what's going on with Gus aka Gus Spira here my little Sicilian brother I love you cocksucker what are you busting my balls for let it go uh Lee I wanted to talk to these people about music today because there's an album that's really always fucked me up November 8th is 79 my mom died no big people know whatever we've been covering it for years and I moved in with the benders in December 79 and right about

that time when the wall came out the album came out December and then the concert was going to be February 26th 1980 another band of mine that I love that love fucking black Sabbath at this time I was really getting into black Sabbath last week we covered Mastery Alley and I cover albums guys that I could feel in my fucking bones when I talk about music because I don't want to just give you an album like I like Rush 2112 I don't like Rush as a band but the album I like it but to the change my life now but it's a good fucking album Rush 2112 so uh one album that I'll never forget so I think John Lennon got shot December of 80 right or December of 81 didn't get shot on like a Monday night football game yeah he got shot on Monday night football but uh I can't remember

when he got shot oh look at him because this is uh this is very important that you know I throw this in here with you because he was shot uh December 8th of 80 of 80 that's what I figured so what happened was uh you know Sabbath had put out never say die I went to see them October of 78 they sucked and they broke up in 79 and nobody knew what was going on with Sabbath so yeah I was still listening to Pink Floyd and I was listening to I'm a big heavy metal guy I'm a big UFO guy the scorpions fucking rainbow uh you know I'm in that genre Iron Maiden with Tony Dianne on the first album I'm a big Judas Priest fan but I know you motherfuckers all hate Judas Priest he's gay Joey I don't give a fuck if he's gay if he sucks a dick he could sing loud you know that's

her mace your sucking dick makes you sing loud why do you think all those women sing fucking loud because if they suck dick it creates the suction in their throat then they let it out oh so uh biology lesson will do it who the fuck you think you're dealing with it's not ha ha's and he's so uh this time I go over to uh John Leonard gets shot on a Monday night football and that's Tuesday I robbed the bank not robbed the bank like suitably but I had these checks and my buddy worked at a bank and he said that he could uh cash the checks for me yeah I got like 20 I'm fucking 17 16 years old and he tells me to meet him up at Nick's pizza and he hands me a fucking one of those back envelopes yeah and it was fucking filled to the brim with brand new fucking bills

bro I just looked at it and I said tears in my eyes and at that time my mother had a friend Zorida from New York that was a coke dealer in Spanish Harlem and after my mother died Zorida would meet me like every other Sunday throw me a couple hundred and I tell her this and I could sell some coke give me some coke and she'd give me like an eight ball to sell and I'd snort the whole fucking thing with Mike Denny the devil I mean shitty coke it was New York City Coke and those days it was basically for shooting but uh I had this money you know I had this fucking 20 large and I hid some of it and that's the week John Lennon got shot so that weekend they were doing a a fucking thing in Central Park they were going to call it strawberry fields and

the village was going to be packed so I said fuck it I'm going to go into the city I got a fucking grandma blow in those days you had a little bottle with a spoon at the top and you screwed in the fucking cap and I had this little grandma blow and I went to the city I was doing a little bomb save I am fucking 16 no wonder my mind is fucking shot and I'm in the city and I went to uh I went in a record shop called Bleak of Bobs if anybody remembers that thing after I talk about it fucking email me at joeycoco.net Bleak of Bobs right and I went in there and there was this EP an EP was an album that they did four songs they don't do them no more they were doing this in the 80s rat had one uh uh spring session and what's their name uh missing persons had an

EP with mental hopscott charlotte rat had an EP before out on the street that's where we'll meet they had an EP EP were four song albums in the 80s okay so they give you two fucking great songs and I'm going through this thing and I see the blizzard of ours with Ozzy Osbourne and I rip it out of the thing and it's this guitar player with blonde hair it's this fucking bass player with hair and it's this drummer that looks like he's a hundred and fucking 90 and I brought it home and it had uh Mr. Crowley Suicide Solution and two other songs on it I could tell you it was Revelation or whatever but I can't tell you for sure so I know these people hit back Joey it wasn't that song that was on there but I know it was definitely Suicide Solution and I brought that

album and that album had a guitar player called Randy Rhodes on it that is uh it is just a brilliant fucking album and it's got some I mean one of my favorites is I don't know Suicide Solution Crazy Train fucking Revelation Mother Earth Mother please forgive them they know not what to do steal away the night this album has so many fucking great songs and for me every time I listen to it it gives me goosebumps because I was going through so much at the time when this album came out this album finally saved me and then I'd gone to see Ozzy with uh that that went out that they talk about the 30 year anniversary of the blizzard of Oz Jim Norton had it on the show and a bunch of people I went to that fucking show at the Palladium me Dee Dee Contaro Steve Avila I get

Steve to call tomorrow we could talk about that we went to see Randy Rhodes Rudy Zarzo Rudy Zarzo was Cuban from uh Quiet Riot they all left together his shit I tell you man it was fucking amazing watching that was amazing hit it Lee hit me with a little fucking I don't know just to let these motherfuckers know the riff of Randy Rhodes wait what's going on up in Bonz's shit hit it Lee it's playing what hit it I gotta change the card to you oh shit Lee is the end here when is the final day 26 fucking days stick around cocksuckers

the Mayans are coming they're gonna butt fuck you to death with those apocalypto dicks hit it hit me with another song they hit me with a little Mr Crowley now I had grown up with a kid named John Crowley he was fucking crazy funny as shit and you know Mr Crowley's about a guy named Alistair Crowley it was a 24 karat warlock that Jimmy Page lived in his house and he fucking killed people and shit so when we heard this song I mean I'm not a devil worshipper but I knew all about that shit I knew you have to sell your soul at the fucking crossroads you know and uh this is about fucking uh what's his name Alex the Crowley the 24 karat warlock I think he's Duncan's uncle with some shit like that you know what I'm saying this is a great little fucking gem where's my goddamn

cartridges bitch Lee have you been taking my cartridges yeah you can sell them on the black market the Puerto Ricans what a fuck here we go here it is a good cartridge right here we listen to this is a good fight you ever hear this before no not this one Lee why not I was born in 88 I'm catching I'm gonna make you one of his THC pills and put the speakers on hit it Lee oh shit hit it man oh shit it's Wednesday motherfuckers you got two more days but today's the day you've been waiting for all your fucking life go out there sling some dick wash your ball hit it people with magic

oh shit now you're waiting on that fart in your face hit it Lee mr charming it's been a great week with you guys I love you motherfuckers don't forget go to onnet.com get your vitamins get your strong bones get your fucking hemp force get your new mood and get your life going get it together go for a walk today go mail something you know go do fucking something today is the day man if not they God would have put you in fucking Africa right now in a tent getting chased by white people for diamonds and shit like that you hear do something right Lee absolutely act like a fucking Jew today go out there make them pay for you being fucking alive you think there's a Jew walking around for they say I'm gonna stay home I got 10 million in the bank fuck no Lee what are you looking at

cocksucker he's going down to another song what song are you getting for your uncle Joe what are you gonna close up with me I the only one I know off of this crazy train all right you want to play crazy turn I'll do whatever you want me to do I want to give some shout outs here you know as user I love you motherfuckers Gaspari's and the fucking Lee Roy neck bones and the fucking I love you guys let me see if we forgot don't forget I want to thank Tim Donahue I want to thank what's going on with Facebook in this copyright don't forget no if we got to talk about this shit next week because a lot of people don't know I don't even know I don't even I this comes out every few months like they're gonna sell your information and they're putting everyone's putting these

little status updates like you can't use my stuff they're not gonna look at that I I don't know what I have to look into it you're in for me listen they're watching you on this fucking computer this morning they're watching you of this fucking computer this morning so they know exactly all your moves and your mental moves they gotta finger up your ass and your pulse people you're on Facebook you're putting all your sayings down there they know what I'm about they know I'm about dick and drugs and stadying people the fucking eyeball here's for you oh a little morning fart some people have morning coffee that's a little morning fart you know I'm saying but perfect time to end don't know you're gonna sit here and sweat it out like a soldier league

and hail that fucking fart to your purple in the eyeball anyway I love you guys December 13th I'm in fucking San Diego at the manhouse comedy club the link is up on twitter December 21st I went my main man Joe Rogan Doug Stanhope and honey honey at the end of the fucking world show which it's ending that night somebody's getting stabbed we're gonna do something with my family's face what else I love you guys from the bottom of my heart man I'm happy that you guys support this and help me subscribe to the motherfucking podcast right a note we got to get up there you guys got to help me here we're fucking family you know I'm saying I'm with you you're with me and there with us hit it Lee a little music some love for Lee we love him we'll see you guys Monday

December 3rd we're gonna talk about chango I'm gonna play some fucking chango music some Cuban chango fucking music to get you changos a warrior that comes with a horse and a fucking ax and he had a leopard that showed up with him and the leopard shows up first to throw his stink in his pile and he just shakes his people up and then chango comes with his fucking ax and chops your fucking head off that's how you're supposed to throw down that's a patron saint right there not some guy walking around with birds helping people fuck you hit it Lee hit me with some little music here oh shit well that pill is kicking in you motherfucker like I got one left meet me somewhere twit me meet me somewhere fucking studio say I'll give me this

last hundred milligram well I'm gonna give it to Lee I love you guys have a great day be safe uh use your fucking eyeballs look around don't let nobody fuck with you tell them all to suck your dick it's Wednesday tell them fucking uncle Joey sent you I love you mother fuckers leave give me a kiss all right stay black people what on it put church in the fucking box so we get credit I want to just understand oh I'm going up the rail