Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #116 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: November 17, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It’s Wednesday, November 17th..... This episode is brought to you by Onnit, CBD Lion & Lucy.co….. Go to https://www.onnit.com  The Black Friday/Cyber Monday Sale with 60% OFF! Plus 10% OFF using PROMO CODE: JOEY, JOINT or CHURCH Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY For 20% OFF Your Order! Go to https://www.Lucy.co Use PROMO CODE: JOEY for 20% OFF! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

What's happening you bad motherfuckers, it's Wednesday, the 17th of November, the joint is brought to you by Onnit, listen, this Monday is the Black Friday Cyber Monday sale at Onnit, 60% off all motherfucking products, I'm not sure on the club bats and the kettle bells, but MCT, Shroom Tech, Alpha Brain, Black Label, regular Alpha Brain, New Mood, which is tremendous at night. All these products will be up for sale 60% off. The rest is up to you. Go to OnIt.com right now. Take a look at their supplements. You want to start 2022 on the right fucking foot. Healthy. Your mind healthy.

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Use promo code Joey. Now without further ado, let's get this motherfucking party started. Where's Pink? This motherfucking party started with Pink. Hey, how you doing? Come on in. Yeah, Joey's in the back. Check one, two. Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joint. What's happening you bad motherfuckers?

Welcome to the joint. It's Wednesday, the 17th of the motherfucking month. Can you believe tomorrow is the anniversary of me kidnapping Canvella? I just fucking remembered that when I said the fucking date. Like I said, November, I had a lot of shit happen, throughout my life, it's really weird, did you ever, like, for some reason,

I always pick up the phone, when it's 9.32, you ever do that, like I pick up the phone, all fucking day, to see what time it is, or whatever, and it's always 9.32,

for years, I've been, just picking up the phone, it's 9.32, I, you know, I had an agent, in LA, 323, 9 3 2 something i forget

the name of the agency right now they're who i'm with now but in new york but it's so weird every time i i look at the clock or my phone i see 9 32 on it i always think of that agent i would call him whatever it doesn't really fucking matter uh the point i'm trying to make here is it's so weird how my mom died november i quit coke in november i kidnapped vela in november i got into santeria in november i married my wife in november i forgot that next friday this is how fucking crazy it's been. I forgot that it was my anniversary. She brought it up to me. I'm like, yeah, that's right.

Your wife ever bring an anniversary up to you or something? You're like, oh, yeah, yeah, I knew it. Yeah, yeah, I made plans. I didn't make shit. I didn't even fucking know. She told me it's the Friday. Oh, no, maybe the Wednesday before Thanksgiving is our anniversary. So all these things happened to me in fucking November.

And as we go on, I'll find more because look at last week. I just talked about the Coke being 14 years and my dear friend Marilyn died in November. You know, it's just a lot of shit happened in November. But this morning when I looked at the fucking, when I just said that to you, it's the 17th. I'm like, holy shit. What was it?

3, 10, 21 is 31, and 3 is 30 fucking four years ago. 1987, what a fucking day that was. Jesus Christ. Ah, life. It's a beautiful fucking thing when you sit there and go what the fuck happened you know i'm at an age now you guys are young you know you fucking got your girlfriends and stuff i'm at an age now where i'm like what the fuck happened how quick did this fucking go by it has blown my mind lately you know when i came here 15 months ago i told you guys that i was struggling you know and through journaling through talking to dana better help well you know just all this shit i do because i always want to

know the root i always want to know the square root you know like all this shit i do because i always want to know the root i always want to know the square root you know like when i got clean from coke i fucking wrote every day about what made me get on the thing and at first i didn't know at first i had no idea after about a year or two i figured out that i wasn't in pain anymore the pain of my mother's death had gone away the pain of losing my daughter had gone away so it just takes time you can't put your fucking finger on it why you quit something or a particular thing but developing always on this end of like I'll call him tonight you know and go what's going on it was 35 years I put you in the trunk and he'll tell me like a joke you know what the fuck that was a

weird fucking thing what made you do that we always have the same conversation you know there's a couple people i call on anniversaries i call him the night before i kidnapped him i call my other friend pino on december 17th because we used to always kids we always hung out on december 17th so i always have different anniversaries to call my friends on. But when I think about kidnapping Vela, at first I was very ashamed. While I was doing time, I was very ashamed. When I got out, I was very ashamed and then as i started becoming a you know more of a fucking uh a man as i started the shame went away and then i told you guys by the time i told everybody i had no

fucking shame in a way it had become comical and there's some people from time to time that go you know what i can't believe you turned that into a joke, you know, what did you want me to do with it, to just have it there, and hold on to it, you know, it's so weird when you have a skeleton in the closet, last night I was talking to my girl Jessamay, you know, I saw one of her posts that it was her mom's death anniversary, so I wanted to call her and check in with her, the way, you know, we check in with each other, this is what we do, and I told her I didn't really know she was, you know, we check in with each other. This is what we do. And I told her I didn't really know she was going through that. She said she had gone to an Anthony Robbins fucking event.

And that was the first time she felt alive and that she felt like, you know, she felt like she was there. You know, and I explained to her, I go, listen, man, death, any death, you know, especially me, I never fucking grieve. You know, I don't want to grieve. I never grieved Ralphie. I never grieved Brody. I deal with it on my own pace, and I deal with it from time to time. And that's why people's debt always fucks me up because I don't deal with it the proper way. I picked up a bad habit when my mom died and I just never grieve people the way most people grieve people I you know I'm a fucking jerk off I snap it under the

carpet and then deal with it in time and I was telling her she goes how long did it take you to deal with the death and I told the five fucking years, like it took me five fucking years of, you know, chuckling, jiving, Joey, sweeping under the carpet, and then in 1980, my mom died in 79, 84, I ended up fucking homeless, yeah, the result of me being homeless, because I was a juggernaut, and I couldn't stop snorting coke but the result of me being homeless was that I finally came to the realization that my mother was gone okay sometimes people die and they die but then you got to come up with the realization that they're gone. That's the grieving process of it. This Saturday, you know, whatever,

every Saturday, you know, I take mercy to kickboxing and I come back and I'd run some errands and whatnot. And this Saturday, I was running an errand. I went to, you know, make a call and I saw Ralphie's name and I stopped and I go, usually on Saturdays at this time was when me and Ralphie used to talk. Ralphie would get back to his hotel room, probably stay up,

eat a bag of Jack in the Box, those fucking stuffed peppers. He loved those stuffed jalapenos from Jack in the Box. Those things will give you cancer all the way to the end of fucking time. But God bless his soul. He would love those things and shit. So the other day, I was just looking at the phone. I his name and i remember i go fuck every saturday i used to fucking call him and as i got deeper into it i i my mind wouldn't let me go there that's because i'm a fucking fag because i'm scared to deal with ralphie's death right now i'm not prepared and i'm going to tell you something. I told Jess, and I know more of this than anybody,

and this is what I told her. I said, that's why I always tell people, you got to check on your skeletons from time to time because if not, those motherfuckers will check on you. And they check on you when you're high and you're having a good time. You know, like when you're high and you're like, oh, I wonder if my wife didn't finish her Reuben.

I'm going to go up and kill the other half of it before she fucking wakes up. And you just think of something. And all of a sudden, that will ruin your high. It will ruin your night. It's not that you're going to cry or be depressed. But it does ruin it. It's like whenever I think about my daughter. Whenever I think about my daughter when I'm high, whatever, I kind of feel a little sad.

I've dealt with it. I have dealt with it I have dealt with it I am okay with it if there was therapy to be involved I fucking did it I wrote I journaled and my daughter moved on the pain from my daughter moved on that's why I stopped doing coke you you show me coke now you show me a gram of coke I won't do it because I equivalent it with pain I equivalent coke with this the equivalent of fucking pain every time i'd snort a line it was painful to snort it because of the pain i was going through you know but life goes on what i really want to talk to you fucking savages about today

was something my wife told me yesterday morning and i've been i almost lost sleep over it last night. But I knew this day was coming. And one day I went to eat with my godfather. Oh, with my godfather. I went to eat with my uncle. Me, Mercy, and my wife was busy. This is way before the pandemic.

This had to be like November of 2019. In fact, it was. It was November around Thanksgiving. She had no school, and I met my uncle in Glendale to get some lunch at this fucking place, tremendous. They got carrot cake,

and they bring it to you. You know how some places have like fucking bread, or they give you like, you know, whatever, something to dip in olive oil. This place gives you carrot cake. That's the best carrot cake. It's not really carrot cake. It's date nut bread.

Oh, and they give you whipped cream cheese with it. I used to go there like three times a week and I kept eating that fucking bread. And one day I got on the scale and I gained 15 pounds. I'm like, well, I guess I i kept eating that fucking bread and one day i got on the scale and i gained 15 pounds i'm like well i guess i'm not eating that fucking bread anymore holy shit but me and my uncle my uncle loves that place i love it too but i had to give it a fucking breather i used to go there with duncan and they had the best steak and eggs for breakfast but they wouldn't put it on the menu because Because it was so fucking good. You had it like.

If you were somebody in the know. Then you ordered the fucking steak. Duncan was in the know. So he turned me on. He's like get the steak and eggs. You won't be fucked. So I was to go in there. Eat a whole loaf of fucking Daytona bread.

A whole container of cream cheese. Three eggs. A steak. Two pieces of toast. Butter. Home butter home fries fuck no wonder you're 3 30 joey you gotta stop it cocksucker but anyway me and me and my uh oh my god it is fucking good me and uh my uncle and my daughter went to eat one day we're just fucking around on the way home my uncle was like hey man i just want you to know something keep this in mind i don't mean to insult you but i don't know if you know

this he goes your wife was a woman at 11 she already had tits at 11 so i'm just giving you a heads up for your daughter and i'm like what the fuck are you talking about my wife my daughter my mom was a woman at 11 i'm like what are you talking about she's like trust me your mom went through my your mom and her sister rosita were breaking hearts when they were 12 already keep your eye on this girl because she's gonna mature fast i'm like i don't think she's gonna fucking mature fast well two nights later i went in to help her with something and i smelled something i go mercy what's that fucking something and i smelled something and i go mercy what's that fucking smell and i smelled her armpits and i'm like oh god they were fucking oniony as fuck she smelled like one of those deadheads from boulder i mean she was

booting them from the 50 yard line you know i'm honest with you guys i'll tell you the fucking truth and i'm like mercy you're fucking booting. She was fucking seven. I mean, I didn't hurt her feelings. She doesn't know what booting means, but we had to go the next day and buy fucking deodorant for her, like fucking, you know, women's deodorant. I was like, Mercy, I'm in fucking shock that you, you know.

She didn't, she just puts deodorant on and stuff like that. Well, I was looking at my daughter yesterday morning. We ate some breakfast. We were sitting by the door. I was drinking my coffee, and her and I were having a conversation. I'm like, man, my daughter's getting fucking big. Like, she's just getting thick. I mean, she goes to kickboxing and all this shit, but she's starting to get thick, you know?

And I told my wife, I go, you know what? She's starting to get pretty big. Like, she's starting to get thick, bigger. I go, you know what, she's starting to get pretty big. Like, she's starting to get thick, bigger. And my wife goes, Joey, you know she's already starting to have hair and stuff like that. And I'm like, Mercy, Terry, she's fucking eight years old. What are you saying to me?

And she's like, she's going to mature really fast. She's already, like, starting to. she's going to mature really fast. She's already, like, starting to, I'm like, holy fuck. When my wife left to go to yoga, I just sat there, like, in shock. Like, what the fuck? My little girl is fucking growing. I could tell, like, listen, man, women mature faster than little boys. You could see it you i've seen it with mercy since i've gotten here like the friends that she made when we got here that are still like making baby noises and jumping up and down mercy don't run with them no more mercy doesn't even watch cartoons

no more the last cartoon she's holding on to his big city greens and that's because i did an episode of it and she tells everybody she's so proud of me for that but beside that she is not watching kids tv anymore she watches adult tv the other night i threw on man on fire and she came down she caught the tail half hour. And she was like, Dad, tell me the story of what's going on. I go, well, for starters, because one night she was down here. He was about to put the bomb in the guy's butt. And I go, Mercy, I think you want to watch this. And my wife is like, no, she does not want to watch this.

She's not ready for this yet. So I said, okay, they left. They have to come to the basement when I'm watching TV at night. They were going somewhere and uh so the other night i was just sitting there watching fucking tv and man on fire was on the last half hour you know he'd done all the killing and shit he already fucking shot the little marsupial looking mexican dude that little fucking you ever see the cover of black sabbath sabbath bloody sabbath you look at the front it's a nice white family taking care of this guy who's dying you turn it around it's the guy fucking at

night having nightmares and all those family members became little devils and they got pointy ears and shit now that's what that little apocalypto looking motherfucker looked like and denzel went and shot him in the hand with the fucking shotgun and stuff so the part came on when he's just sitting there with him in the car and little apocalypto's fucking holding on to dear life and denzel's like listen you know he's calling the girl's mother and he's explaining all this shit to her and that's when my daughter's asking me fucking stupid questions about what's going on here and stuff like that and i tell her i go listen man when i first saw this movie i had to ask myself would i ever do that for a friend or a little girl or my daughter and i said to myself yes i would if it was for my daughter i would

shoot 20 motherfuckers i don't give a fuck, bazookas, I light fires, everything I did in my life, everything I fucking wanted to do, light feet on fire, tie you up and throw you off a building, all those little secret desires that I have, you know, some people have desires of like fucking somebody in the ass and coming in their mouth, I never had those desires, I like lighting people on fire and throwing people off buildings and shit like that if I'm in search for something so I told I go when I was I still remember watching that movie it was uh May of no it was like July of 2004 I was in Santa Fe New Mexico I was shooting the longest yard and I was in my hotel room one night, and I go,

what do I feel like watching? He had just done Training Day, and I said, let me watch this man, I didn't know what the fuck it was. When I watched Man on Fire, it was such a good goddamn movie, that when it finished, I had to pay another 10 bucks to watch it again. That's how much I enjoyed that movie, but I remember after I watched it, it played with my mind. And I was like, if I would have a daughter, would I do something like that if something happened to her?

And I didn't even have to think about it. I was like, fuck yeah, I'll be shooting. Luke, Jimmy Florentine's son, said he saw a Rambo 2D that night when fucking Sylvester Stallone shoots a Vietnamese dude with the exploding arrows. You know I'm going to get a couple of those to shoot some motherfuckers.

If something happens to my daughter. But she started crying at the end. You know, she understood that pain. I started crying at the end, too. I always cry when I watch Man on Fire. I can tell she's my daughter. She started crying and she was hot. My wife had to hug her and shit.

But afterward, they bonded over Man on Fire because she didn't fucking like it. My daughter doesn't like that kind of stuff. But it's time for her to start watching, understanding. I'm not ready for her to show how fucking somebody gets shot. I had 20 times. I don't want to show the many saints of fucking like how fucking somebody gets shot and i had 20 times like i don't want to i don't want to show her the many saints of fucking scarface when tony gets shot at the end but i gotta fucking uh show her a few things let her know what the world is about even if it's just on film just to give her a little you know look a little taste of what the fuck is out there.

But it's so hard for me to comprehend that she's becoming a little fucking woman right in front of my eyes. Last week we went out somewhere and some kid got in trouble and the dad hit him, you know. On the way home, her and I were talking and she said she said to me dad you've never hit me I don't know if you guys remember that subject was the night of Ari's this is not happening

I'll never forget her and I had a chat about that I was talking to my wife and I was telling my wife when Mercy was maybe four or three, I go, I got to be honest with you, I don't think I could hit her when she gets older. I'm not into that shit at all.

I never really thought about it until I had a child. But I'm like, I don't think I could hit her, you know. And I came from my house, and my mother would fucking, you know, hit me with a broomstick at the drop of a fucking dime, like in a New York minute. I was always concerned that, you know, because my house, the house I grew up with, my stepfather and my mom, my stepfather was a yeller, you know.

His first response was to yell. So there was always a lot of yelling in the house. How come there's no hot water? I'd wake up in the morning and sit in that shower for an hour. By the time that motherfucker went in, there would be like six minutes of hot water. And then I would fucking hit the valve and freeze that motherfucker out.

He would run out of the shower with little bunny rabbits. You know like when people do bunny rabbits with the shampoo and they play around? One day he came out with bunny rabbits. He's like, what the fuck happened to the hot water? eyes were closed he had soap in his eyes and shit so he was always young in the morning and i and you know uh there was no violence in my house except for my mom hitting me from time to time with either a bounty roll that was on fire a fucking a broomstick an ashtray she hit me with a purse a couple times and then it was

straight up backhand stop my walk odds you know the whole fucking thing uh and it was just a thought for me i'm like well you know i came from a house that was kind of ruckus and i came from a house where my fucking uh mom would hit me Maybe this will turn into that house. Not at all. You know, I like my mornings in my house. There's no yelling. There's no screaming. You know, I always knew what I wanted when I got older.

I always fucking knew the things I wanted when I got older. Number one thing that, the number one thing in my world is I like a peaceful house. I got divorced in 1990, and the year, maybe 18 months prior to that divorce, that house sucked. The house I grew up in as a child,

even though my mother was very sweet and the cooking was good and she loved me and stuff, that house sucked. That house sucked too. So when I got older, I had a blueprint already of what made a house not suck. Like when my mother died, I had to live with the Benders. Their house did not suck. They had love in the house. They spoke. You know know they watched tv they

giggled and don't get me wrong i had a lot of that in my house me and my mother used to laugh her asses off all the fucking time but there was all that overall love because i didn't have a full family i had a stepfather that overall love was missing. There's a Pink Floyd song, one of my favorite songs, called Dogs. And at the end of Dogs, he goes into this fucking, Roger Waters goes into this sort of like rant, and one of the lines he says

that has always struck a chord in my head is, you know, being a stranger at home. You know, those words have always been very powerful to me. Being a stranger in your home. I got to be honest with you, you know, and then I felt like I was a stranger in my home like i didn't belong there i told you guys the story on how in the sixth grade when i got out of catholic school i didn't live in my house for like a year i lived in other people's houses i didn't like my house

growing up and uh i was a stranger in that house even though my mom was loving and the whole fucking thing i just felt that so these are all the things when i hooked up with terry like when i hooked up with kathy and i got married the first time guys i i was so fucked listen like i said a thousand times you can't be a fucking junkie and have a household you cannot be a fucking junkie and have a household you know i didn't even think of those things when i first got married it wasn't till i got married to terry that i asked myself what did i want in my house how do how do i want my home to be you know number one i don't like one thing that stuck out with me i don't know how i felt about this If I tell you how I felt about this

You're going to think I'm a little whiny bitch But I have to bring this up I didn't like going home from school And there wouldn't be anybody at home I didn't think about it until years later I liked it when I was doing it When you're fucking 12 and 13 And you go home and there's nobody home

You kind of fucking giggle and shit a little bit Because there's nobody there to watch you there's no supervision in other words you could do whatever the fuck you want so i would come home and play ted nugent loud and my mother's record player in the living room i would play the eagles you know life in the fast lane loud i would play ted nugent free for all you, all that shit. So I enjoyed it, and I never really thought about it, but it wasn't until years later I was like, that was no way for a kid. When I was fucking in first, second, third,

before I went to Catholic school and we lived in New York City, every afternoon when I came home, my mother would be there. She'd make me a fucking ham and swiss with mayonnaise on wonder bread toast that motherfucking bread gets nice and burnt and shit throw a little mayonnaise on that motherfucker some ham some cheese a little slice of thin tomato and I would watch Felix the cat whatever the fuck I would watch Popeye at three you know do a little homework when you're young whatever the fuck they give the Cat, whatever the fuck. I would watch Popeye at three, you know, do a little homework when you're young, whatever the fuck they give you, ABCD, whatever the fuck, you know, one times two. And then I would go out and terrorize little fucking kids and throw, you know, records and whatever the fuck I did up and torturize Mr. Martini, whatever the fuck I was doing up there on 88th Street.

But when I got to North Bergen and I started coming home. I was 12 years old. You know. 13 years old. And. I didn't miss that. But these are the things. That if I ever had a home. I'd want.

You know. I leave here every afternoon. I go run errands. I do this. I meet people. I do ads for DraftKings. For Spotify. You guys have heard them. if you listen to Rogan.

You know, but in all my fucking travels in the afternoon, at 3 o'clock, I'm home. She gets home about 3.08. I get home at 3. I do whatever errands I got to do around the house. I piss. I wash my hands. And I wait for her. Sometimes she gets off the bus with kids.

They come in. Me and my wife welcome the kids. We give them water, whatever the fuck they want, Kool-Aid, donuts, whatever the fuck it is. And we go about our life. Does she even realize what's going on? No. But if she came home and there was nobody home, and she had to walk to the refrigerator and take her soda out and make her own sandwich.

She'd see the difference. She'd go, wow, I wish there was somebody home. But she never knew any other life. We've always been home when she gets home. My daughter's fucking, you know, Madame Fifi. She's never fucking struggled yet. I'm trying to build a base for her. As she gets older, I'll push emerald up a little bit you know but

it's so weird like when my wife told me that yesterday morning i'm right away i went into a little bit of my own little panic mode but then i thought about it and i thought about my relationship with women i have a great relationship with a lot of my female friends. I have. Great relationships. And I'm not scared to ask them questions. The biggest lesson about fatherhood. That I ever had. Was from Sarah Tiana. Sarah and I. Spoke a lot about.

The relationship. Between a father and their daughter. She has. A great. 100% truthful. Honest. Relationship. With her father.

My goal is to have that same. Relationship. With my daughter. She told me one time that. A guy cheated on her. I hope she's not mad at me. For saying this to you guys. A guy cheated on her once. hope she's not mad at me for saying this to you guys. A guy cheated on her once and she called her father.

She was visibly upset. And she was crying on the phone. She couldn't understand why the guy would cheat on her. And she said that she heard her father crying on the phone. And that after she heard her father crying on the phone with And that, after she heard her father crying on the phone with her, the consoler, she called the guy,

dumped him, and never spoke to him again. Not even as an apology, he tried. My point is that that's the relationship I want with my daughter. I don't want her

to hate me. It's so fucking weird how much you fucking change you know like you kid around you make stupid jokes you know people always say to me what are you gonna do when your when your daughter brings a fucking terrorist home what are you gonna do when your daughter brings a fucking african-american kid home or a polack kid you know when you don't have a daughter and you don't know what you're really working with you make all these stupid fucking remarks you know like i'll fucking shoot her i'll put a chastity belt on all this shit

she's eight years old now you know what i'm thinking i don't care who she brings home as long as she brings home somebody who loves her as much as I do. Her and I talk a lot about love and respect and what we feel for one another. And I always tell her that. I go, you know, and it was Jimmy. It was Jimmy Florentine, as a matter of fact. I mean, Jimmy's got a lot more experience than me as a dad. He's a great fucking dad, Jimmy.

But he was telling me one time that when he talks to his son, you know, Jimmy's separated. And he tells his son that this isn't what a real relationship is. He goes, look at his friend Danielle and her husband, who I'm dear friends with. He goes, look at Joey and Terry. They've never really fought in front of me. That's how two people should really act. I have changed 100%. I mean, let's face it, guys. You can't put a silk hat on a pig.

I know I'm a pig going into this. I know I'm a fucking savage, and I know I'm a fucking animal. But for me to be here properly for my daughter, I had to make little changes, guys. You got to. You know, what am I going to tell? Look her in the face and go, I love you. Don't bring a fucking Arab home. Don't bring a fucking brother home.

If they make her happy, like I've always told her, mercy, a man has to love you and treat you like I love you and treat you. If not, it's not going to work for you. You see the way I am with your mom, how we're 50-50. We do everything for each other. There's really no fucking yelling in this house. I mean, if I told you that we didn't fight, I'd be lying to you. We have our little beefs from time to time. The other day I told her not to bring any more Goya fucking rice pudding in the goddamn house.

You know, I said it to her nice. I go, Terry, don't bring the Goya fucking rice pudding in the goddamn house, you know, I said it to her nice, I go, Terry, don't bring the Goya anymore, it's not that good, she took offense, I'm sorry, I didn't say it the right way, I said, don't bring that shit in the house, don't want you, like, what are you talking about, and I go, I always get the other rice pudding, it's like 110 calories for a fucking tiny cup, that's all you need at night, you throw some cinnamon, I got the Goya fucking rice pudding, it tastes like, you know, you put a fucking tiny cup. That's all you need at night. You throw some cinnamon. I got the Goya fucking rice pudding. It tastes like, you know, you put a fucking whole pound of fucking sugar

in that motherfucker that's heavy cream. And I only taste it in a cup. I taste it like three little pieces of fucking rice. They make it, they put all this coconut. I don't want that. I just want plain rice fucking pudding, American style. I like that shit. There's a company who makes

tremendous fucking rice pudding they're always in like the vegetable fucking yogurt aisle it's a six-pack you ever have those fucking tremendous and they also got a tub don't buy the tub you'll gain weight buy the six individual fucking things take it from your uncle joe you don't need that whole tub because i'll put a whole fucking thing of ready whip on that motherfucker and put some cinnamon underneath and some cinnamon on top and that's not what you need you just need a little fucking cup so back to the situation at hand you have to you have to when you have a daughter you have to have fucking you have a daughter, you have to have fucking, you know,

cotton little gloves. I mean, I'm still a savage. I say some shit around that. You know, guys, I don't curse around. I slip every once in a while

and say shit. She knows a couple of the words. She knows the B word. She told me the other day. She goes, I know the B word. I know the F word. I go, that's all right. Hold on to him for now. You goes, I know the B word. I know the F word. I go, that's alright.

Hold on to them for now. You know what I'm saying? Don't say nothing to nobody. But it's just really weird how I'm supposed to act as a father now. Guys, I don't even think about my daughter anymore. My older daughter. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry if you guys think I'm a savage.

I'm sorry if you guys think I'm a savage I'm sorry if you guys think I'm a fucking bad person but you know what man you can't listen she doesn't want to be with me I would always want her in my life but she doesn't want a part of my life so what am I supposed to do do you want me to cry do you want me to go to therapy for this shit do you want me not it's plain and simple you don't want me and I don't want you because you don't want me to cry? Do you want me to go to therapy for this shit? Do you want me not? It's plain and simple. You don't want me and I don't want you because you don't want me. So move the fuck on. And that's what a lot of people never understand. You know, I'm looking at all these.

When I realized I had this thing with the fucking benzo withdrawal, I went on a couple groups and looked at the benzo groups, you know, and you read about, you learn about what other people are going through. You know, and I was like, fuck, these people are fucking nearly dying, and then I thought to myself, these people are fucking pussies, because half these people are going through the same thing, you have to function every day, you wake up in the morning, you have a little hangnail, doesn't mean you tap out and right off the fucking day. I'll tell you what, I got 103 fever. I'll tap out and right in the fucking day.

But if I could get up and walk around, I'm pushing through this fucking thing. You know, and I think that a lot of this shit we hear is people fucking whining. This life is a lot easier than what people make it. People make it seem like it's fucking hard, like it's fucking impossible. It's not that's why i did an episode on quitting coke because there was a time when i never saw myself without doing coke i couldn't see it guys when i was 21 my goal was to move to columbia and send people pictures of me rubbing a big coke rock with my eyes all swollen that was my big career move. That was my fucking life's dream.

To move to fucking Columbia. That's all I wanted to do. Was do fucking coke. And that. And party and get my dick sucked. You know. For some reason or another. That all went away.

I don't want to. I wanted more from my fucking life. But at that time, when I was a fucking dumb 21-year-old, that's what I wanted. Now, I just wanted the last 10 years, the last five years. I got to be honest with you guys. All I thought about was being a good father. be honest with you guys, all I thought about was being a good father. What I had to do to be a good father so I wouldn't lose my daughter again. That's all I wanted. I did not want to lose another daughter. You know, when I tell you guys that, yeah, she came to december 30th last year and said you know before the pandemic that she didn't really like me leaving you guys like joey why don't you fucking turn around

and tell her that you got to make a living you know why i didn't tell her that because i already lost a daughter i'm walking around with a fucking minus on my hat so when my wife got pregnant and i had a second chance to do this all over again i had two options and guys you know for our anniversary i'm gonna have my wife on the podcast we're gonna do a zoom she's gonna be upstairs i'll be downstairs but the yeah but the beauty of it is she'll fucking tell you that we had a little fucking lunch one day before the baby was born and i explained to her how i'm a busy guy you know listen before i even tell you i want to shoot myself in the head for telling her this so before you get sour on me i thought that

when i had another child with this woman, that it would be my relationship, the same relationship I had with my first wife, which is a fucking nightmare from A to Z. So I remember one day I was with my wife. She was about seven months pregnant. We were eating lunch, and I just went off on her about what I wasn't going to do and the expectations I didn't want her to have

about me. In other words, I was going to be a dad that was uninvolved. When I think of my words that day, I want to just fucking shoot myself because I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about. I was, you know, 49 years old talking fucking

gibberish because I was putting comedy before my fucking family. And I got to be honest with you, the day that she was born, when I saw her at that hospital, I'll never forget when the nurses took her away, I looked at my wife and I go, that conversation we had, I mean, in another life you should have divorced me for that conversation. You should have told me to get the fuck out of your life taking the money and left with the child but i'm happy you didn't because that's not how i felt when i saw that baby come out of your little fucking monkey my whole outlook changed on how i felt and i do want to be a part of life and i do want to be

involved with her you know and that's why I do the things I do. And a lot of people are upset with me, like, how come you're not doing comedy? Why can't you do this? Why can't you do that? Right now, dog, my daughter is eight years old, and I want to watch her grow. I know that when she's 12, she's going to be the spitting image of me,

not look-wise. I'm an ugly fucking dude. But she's going to be the spitting image of me, not look wise, I'm an ugly fucking dude, but she's going to be the spitting image of me as far as wanting to get the fuck out, I could see it already, she gets home from school, and she's not like the other kids, she wants to go call for other kids, and when she calls for him, she actually tells him, I want to go outside, you know, it's a nice dad. I've heard her say it to it. For all those things, I'm very proud that she's going to be a go-getter. She's getting great grades at school.

She does her homework. She does everything I expect her to, but I could tell that this is going to be faster. After my wife told me that she's starting to develop, holy fuck, now I'm never going to fucking leave her side for the next couple of years because she's going to be built by the time she's like 11, which means guys are going to be fucking tormenting her. In fact, she told me the other day

that some kid in the school keeps giving her little fucking flowers and shit. I'm like, what do you think? She's like, nah, he's not for me. She was telling me that some kid, that she does the math work, and she gives the answers to some kid. I go, what the fuck is that? And she goes, he sits at my table.

She goes, he's a fucking dummy. And I go, I don't mind doing it because I got to do the math anyway. If he doesn't want to do it, he's going to get an F because he don't learn. So if he wants to take my answers, that's fucking fine. I go, I never looked at it that way. So I'm learning a lot from her also. This has just been great, guys. I am healthier.

I thought about what the fuck happened to me. And when I talked to Dana the other morning, we both came up with, I had something I never thought I'd have. I had a midlife fucking crisis last year. It was me coming back home. I had a little bit of fear that I was coming back here after all the bad things I've done. And I've come back over the years. But I came back here for three years at a time. I didn't come back here to live

so i had to get that little bit of fear because i don't really work well with fear but for some reason somewhere along the line i witnessed news to fucking uh and all that shit between the covid and me coming back here i had a little fucking fear but i also was having a little crisis as a man and I thought you always had a midlife crisis when you were like 50 I thought you went and bought a Corvette and started fucking 20 year olds that were fucking retarded but no I did have a midlife crisis and it was accepting the next chapter of my life which was New Jersey Jersey. You know, a year ago, I couldn't have this conversation with you guys for 40, 50 fucking minutes like I'm doing now. It was a real fucking struggle, you know.

I would speak to Mike and he would tell me he'll be here at 11 or something and I would count the fucking minutes in dread and horror that I didn't want to talk to people. Now, I couldn't wait for fucking Mike to get here today. I was ready to drop some knowledge on you motherfuckers. So I'm feeling great, and I'm writing it off to, yeah, some of it was the withdrawal, some of it was the fear, but a lot of it was just a crisis that I created in my own mind.

There wasn't really a crisis. I had created it in my own mind. And wasn't really a crisis. I had created it in my own mind. And the last six months, I've worked very hard on myself. I've thought about what I want to do and what my next steps are. I'm sorry comedy isn't in my horizon today and next week, but it could be in my horizon in 2022. We don't know how we're going to feel. Right now, I'm just trying to get 2021 finished.

I'm trying to reach the goals I laid out for 2021. I'm reaching them. You know, we're writing a book. We're getting healthier. I got to tell you something, man. The reefer is really agreeing with me lately. I'm not smoking papers. With papers, I'm not walking around with a sore throat.

Every time I smoke now, that fucking freeze pipe bubbler is worth every fucking cent. Every cent, that freeze pipe bubbler. I'm really getting comfortable with it. So what I wanted to tell you guys today was that everything is getting better. And you know what, man? When you work hard on yourself, we do make fucking progress. It's a slow progress. It's hard to see.

You know, all I know is I feel better today than I did 90 days ago. know is I feel better today than I did 90 days ago. And you know what I know? That when 2022 hits, I'm going to feel better January 1st, 2022, than I'm feeling today, November 17th, 2021. So I know this in my head. Hey, I'm struggling today, but I'm going to be better in two months. Why? Because I'm going to put the work in. I'm going to walk. I'm going to fucking write. I'm struggling today but I'm going to be better in two months why? because I'm going to put the work in I'm going to walk I'm going to fucking write I'm going to fucking drink my water I'm going to get my eight hours of sleep

and I'm going to be a healthy fucking version of me so I can be Mercy's dad and move on with this shit I don't even know where we're ending off but I don't give a fuck guys my point today was my daughter's growing I'm maturing and we're ending off, but I don't give a fuck, guys. My point today was my daughter's growing, I'm maturing, and we're both meeting in the fucking middle,

and we're going to fucking hammer this fucking thing out, you know? If you feel yourself struggling or anything like that, don't feel alone. Everybody struggles, and that's the problem I had. My mental health fucking was worrying me more because I felt nobody else was going through this but guess what everybody's going through a version of this right now and i didn't know i get calls every three days from people going hey man when i talked to you a couple months ago i wasn't right i'm like really you know i just thought nah this affected a lot of people in a lot of different ways. So there's nothing wrong with you.

I thought I was losing my mind. Not at all. I'm just getting better. And I'm learning how to fucking handle it. That's it and that's that. It's November 17th, 2021. And this is the motherfucking joint. God damn it.

I love you motherfuckers with all my heart guys fucking laughing gas is great there it is right there on the table smelling good the second batch smelling good and looking good it does smell fucking good you know if you need anything the ice cream shop

is there for you and if you need anything on a mental struggle or a fucking recommendation, you know I'm here for you guys also. I've gone through it all. You guys have seen the change in my personality, the perkiness, and my eyes are back. Everything's back.

And nobody fucking came over here and gave me a magic pill. There's no magic drug. There's no magic reefer. It's you putting in the work on you. Everybody always puts in the work on everybody else. And we're worried about, oh, my God, Mikey got high again. Who gives a fuck about Mikey? You think Mikey gives a fuck about you?

Well, what's Mikey going to do? Who gives a fuck about that cocksucker? Worry about you. You're the most important person in this fucking world i love you motherfuckers we're a week away from thanksgiving i can't wait to fucking eat some turkey some fucking stuffing a little cramley the can of cranberry sauce i'm gonna steal somebody's fucking can slice it up i'm gonna smoke weed in the daytime now i don't have that little anxiety no more i was smoking in the daytime and guys weed does create a lot of fucking anxiety i don't give a

fuck when anybody tells you sometimes i'll take two fucking hits off that laughing gas and my heart will fucking be on fire for like an hour and a half but you know what one thing it makes me do? Weed works. Weed works for pain. Everybody's like, weed doesn't cover pain. Yes, it does.

Because many a night, I had a fucking toothache from my abscess. I smoked a little weed. And 10 minutes later, you're like, I got no pain. And all of a sudden, you're like,

yeah, I do have pain. I just forgot about it. It makes you fucking forget about it. And that's it. And that's that, you bad motherfuckers. I makes you fucking forget about it. And that's it, and that's that, you bad motherfuckers. I hope you enjoyed the joint today. I hope you enjoyed the week's joints.

We had a great fucking chit-chat. Tomorrow's Vela's anniversary. I'll give him a call. Maybe I'll tape the phone call and let you guys listen to it. I'll figure something out. I love you motherfuckers with all my heart. Have a great weekend. The holiday season is upon us. I'll figure something out. I love you motherfuckers with all my heart. Have a great weekend.

The holiday season is upon us. And hopefully you're tip top motherfucking Magoo. I love you cocksuckers. And now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors, Jack. All right. I want to thank you bad motherfuckers for listening today. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you understood where I was coming from. I didn't, so I don't know.

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craving you just need a little something to satisfy the habit and Lucy has got your back listen if anybody knows how hard it is to quit I do I quit I didn't have Lucy gum I had to quit with an eight ball and torture myself you understand me you guys got Lucy so use it you don't need to smoke anymore you're prepared when the temptation starts and with their subscription service you'll have it on hand for whenever the craving hits Lucy gum comes in three flavors that actually pretty damn good wintergreen cinnamon and my personal favorite pomegranate now if you don't like gum try their lozenges citrus mint and cherry ice, if you don't like gum, try their lozenges, citrus, mint,

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I want to thank CBD Lion. I want to thank Honored. I want to thank Lucy.co. I want to thank CBD Lion. I want to thank Honored. I want to thank Lucy.co. I want to thank Zip Recruiter. I want to thank BetterHelp. But most importantly, I want to thank you for supporting the podcast Weekend and Week motherfucking out. I love you, cocksuckers. Happy Thanksgiving.

We'll be back next Monday. Ready to fucking rock. I love you, savages stay black Thank you.