Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #120 | MATT FULCHIRON | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: December 1, 2021

Welcome to The JOINT..... It’s Wednesday, December 1st..... Today we catch up with the Great, Matt Fulchiron! https://www.Instagram.com/thefullcharge https://www.Twitter.com/thefullcharge This episode is brought to you by DraftKings & CBD Lion….. Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook to receive $100 in Free Bets when you Bet $1 on any Football Game…. Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY For 20% OFF Your Order! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #MattFulchiro The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Ep. #065 - https://youtu.be/TfKCC9L6978 Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

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I got to get a new candle back here. I almost just lit my hand on fire. Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. What's happening, you beautiful motherfuckers? Welcome to another episode of the fucking Uncle Joey's joint. It's Wednesday, December fucking 1st, the holiday season is in full fucking effect, cock suckers. You better start fucking getting your gifts now. You got what 24 shoplifting days left to make it fucking work for you, cock suckers.

I don't know how that will work for you, but I'm good. Been a great fucking week so far. I'm happy a lot of you guys are watching true story. A lot of you guys get hit me back and said you enjoyed it. Then never saw Kevin Hart act that way and stuff. I watched all seven episodes. I thought it was fucking great. He inspired me, man.

He really did. I got inspired twice this week. I watched 60 minutes and I watched Rita Moreno fucking 90 years old still acting. And here I'm 58. I think I'm dead. I'm brand fucking new now after I saw her at 90 moving around and doing a thing. And I'll tell you what, Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart's an inspirational fucking guy. I just read an interview with him yesterday that he's going to work until he becomes a fucking billionaire.

And it's not about the money for him. It's just to prove a fucking point, you know. And he's just a, he's a good comic to fucking watch. Like I've always been a fan of his from afar. I've always liked how he handled his business. But this TV show, what he said on the show, he said a couple things on there that really rang fucking big with me. So if you get a chance, watch true story, you'll fucking like it. What else is, yeah, no, even Jimmy's watching it with his kid.

Everybody was like, Joey, thank you for the recommendation. Again, I don't think the fucking series is an Academy Award winning series, but it's great to watch Wesley Snipes. You know, it's so weird how you only get better at something the more you stick with it. You really do. And then it switches in your mind. Like I always wanted to act and now more than ever, like after seeing Rita Moreno do that thing about fucking she's 90 and she was, she dated fucking Marlon Brando for eight years. It hit me so much.

I had to watch Apocalypse Now last night. You know what I'm saying? Like I didn't watch the whole thing because it's three fucking hours and it's the redux. It's on Netflix and I hate that shit. When the French, have you seen that? When they go visit the French, it's just too long. I like the old movie, you know, but fucking tonight I'll get to watch Marlon Brando because I only watched the one hour last night. I watched Martin Sheen with the acid trip in the beginning.

Oh, hey, close the door. Fuck it. What? What? What? What? What he raised and he, and he lays back down, they tell him his mission and he lays back down Martin Sheen and they're like, come on, help me up here. We got a live one.

They throw him in the fucking shower. I mean, he's so fucked up. He didn't hit acid for that fucking scene. He tripped on. Yeah, real life. He was on acid in that scene fucking tremendous. I mean, I love all that shit when he goes to the house to meet with the fucking congressman and shit. That's, uh, who's the, who's the actor that keeps crashing his plane?

He's old Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford is in that movie. Young, young, fucking young. That other guy, uh, the black dude that was in the matrix. Yeah. The best actor of fucking all time. He's, Laurence Fishburne. Laurence Fishburne is 16 years old.

I don't know if you guys remember that one day me and Ralphie was standing by the Formosa cafe, waiting to get that weed store. You had to wait on line outside and it was just me and Ralphie getting into a conversation outside. We weren't even waiting online. No more. There was nobody else out there. It was just me and him, the people kept saying, come in, come in.

But we're like, ah, we're just out here talking. We're going to hit the Chinese Formosa and all of a sudden we look up at a car parks and we didn't, you know, cars park all the time. You know, me and Ralphie, like, you know, sitting there talking shit and all of a sudden Laurence Fishburne gets out of the fucking car. He's coming to the weed store and he walks up to us and I had payaso comedy slam was on Showtime and he looked at me and goes, man, were you on Showtime last month?

I go, yeah. He goes, bro, I really enjoyed it. And all of a sudden me, Ralphie and Laurence Fishburne are having a fucking conversation on Formosa for 20 minutes. The people inside the weed store banging in the glass like, come in. We're about to close and we're like, wait up, hold on. Cause Ralphie was going there to spend $2,000. I had no money.

I was riding on Ralphie. Ralphie goes in there. We all go in and now we're in the weed store with Laurence fucking Fishburne. And the guy says, are you with him? And Laurence goes, yeah. And my dick got really hot. I'm like, oh shit, Laurence fucking digs us. So fucking we started talking.

We went outside and we started bullshitting more. And that's when he went into the whole apocalypse. Now story how he was 16, his family had to go down there with him. They shot in the Philippines. Me and Ralphie were like, holy fuck. We're over here hanging out with Laurence Fishburne. If he whips out a joint and sparks it, we're going to die. We smoke with Laurence fucking Fishburne.

I can tell people to suck my dick. And we hung out with Laurence Fishburne. I remember that night he's like, you act. I go, yeah. And he goes, uh, I'm going to hook you up with an acting class. And I was like, fucking Laurence Fishburne is going to hook me up with an acting class. So he hooked me and this kid, Rick Ramos up. And we went to an acting teacher for like 90 days.

He was expensive as fuck. And I booked a couple of jobs with his schedules were fucking weird. And the guy was really eccentric and shit. But that's my Laurence Fishburne story. I never got to work with him, but I fucking got the talk to him and bullshit with him. And that was, listen, man, that to me, he was so cool. And he just told us little details about the movie, you know, how he had to sleep outside the tent, the mosquitoes, they had to keep taking shots because the mosquitoes,

they're like, uh, what do you call it? Like vaccinations and shit. It was just fucking tremendous, man. And those kind of, he's a true fucking star. That guy, you know, it's, and the other fucking guy from the matrix that we'd see every morning for breakfast was Keanu Reeves for a while. I would go to Duke's restaurant, me, Ralphie, Mike, Favum and Josh Wolf. We were going to attend deep to Dukes.

They used to give me a cheese omelet with fucking house, uh, the steak fries. Fucking tremendous. I was up to like 400 pounds every time I ate in there. But every time we walked out, Keanu Reeves is there sitting, just eating. Reading the LA times by himself. People would say hello. He'd say hello because he was there every morning. So you just got used to him every morning.

What's happening, Keanu? Yeah. After the matrix, he was there. I remember after I met him, like he was so cool that I actually went to see one of his movies where he plays like a fucking felon. That's he has to do a, be a coach to a kid's baseball team for them to fucking for him to do is yeah, yeah, yeah. We went to see that movie fucking.

I love all that shit. I love movies. I fucking love movies. You know, I just got to get myself a little stronger agent in New York. The guy I got now is great, but he books theaters. He doesn't really book theatrical. So it's hard for him to book me, but I think I'm going to call big pussy. I'm going to call Vincent and see if he can hook me up with one of his agents.

So he knows any agents that would take me. I don't even know what my fucking reel is. Like I haven't added anything to my reels since 2010. You're supposed to add everything you do. If you look at my reel, it's got like fucking boiler maker and shit like that. I don't even think I put boiler maker on there. I was really into that. Like every time I, I couldn't wait to shoot some to put it on my reel, but

every time you put some on your reel, it's a deuce. And then you have to duplicate tapes with that new reel. So whatever reels you have that are old, they go guts. You send them out. That world is done now. Now there's no, people don't even send the fucking. I think I do have, there's a thing called actors access. That has all your information.

It tells you everything from your, you know, what parts are out. Let me tell you something. Actors access is like 12 bucks a month and I can, I could give you five jobs. I booked off there. It was SAG union jobs. I booked co-case from actors access because when the show wasn't popping, I did the first season. So they put it out on regular things.

Actors access is a great fucking actors. If you're booking yourself like these people, I can't find an agent. It's a catch 22. So what you have to do is go on actors access, book a little bit, get those fucking put those on your resume and then you go to an agent. And they're like, how'd you book co-case actors access, bitch? I don't need you that much either. So you let them know that you have actors access.

I look at it now from time to time. It's all non-union stuff. And, you know, the last thing I submitted for was the fat man show. By the year we go on there, I re-signed up when I moved here. I never got a call back, but they're all great resources to have. If you're thinking about acting and now after I saw that Rita Moreno thing, I want to act. I want to really get back into it.

And I'm not listening. If you think I'm going to go to an acting class and try to be like accents and shit. No, that's my problem. I got no range as an actor. I'm only one thing. I'm only three things. A cop, a mobster, a fucking garbage man, a burglar. I always play burglars. I love those roles. Something in jail, you know, something that's in a prison. Those are my character.

And I accept it for what it is. I'm not going to go in there and try to play an English guy and try to be chip, chip, chally hoe. It's not going to fucking work, guys. I am not the guy from fucking the fighter. You know, that guy's the best actor. He's the best white fucking actor, the guy from the fighter. But, uh, yeah, that's it.

And that's that, man. We have a great week going. Guys, I'm feeling a lot better. You know how I know? Because I motherfucked three people yesterday. That's how I know I'm feeling better when I feel people taking me for granted. That's when I fucking go off. But you know what? I was a little upset yesterday.

I smoked a little laughing gas and we're back. I'm still just smoking one joint at night. My fucking, I was thinking of pissing a bottle just to see what my weed level is at, just to see, because I remember what the CCs were when I was like emboldering shit. I'd like to see how much TAC I have in my system now. But I got to tell you something, guys.

I haven't eaten nettle bull in a while because I ran out of them. I'm not going to lie to you. It's not like I quit. I ran out of them. When you run out of them, you got no options. This is Jersey. But I'm thinking of making like tonight, I was thinking of making a fucking nice, tin of brownies.

I make some great fucking brownies, get some walnuts and shit, put an eighth of that fucking laughing gas in, cook it nice with some nice butter. Oh, Uncle Joey's brownies will fucking kill you. If you think the fucking stars look that, they'll kill you. Because as I'm making the brownies, every time I put that TAC butter

into that brownie mix and stir it up, I lick that spoon. By the time the brownies come out of the oven, you're like fucking, you're all fucked up. But I'm going to an NA meeting tomorrow, just to check it. Listen, guys, I got to give a little something back. You know, I went through a hard time this year and,

what I found when you have a hard time that gets you through it, again, I'm boring as fuck, but I believe in the journal. I did a lot of journaling during this and I went to therapy during this time, which I've never been to before in my life. It's been fucking great. I go on BetterHelp every Monday

and I talk to Dana for 20, 25 minutes. And it gives me a little fucking peace of mind. You know, I was one of those guys that never believed in therapy. And now, like even in the fucking true story, his manager has a therapist. And I guess the therapist get, but his concerns were Kevin,

like in this show that I'm watching, true story, I finished it last night or two nights ago. But what the fuck we talking about, man? The manager has a therapist. And it was funny when the therapist called him back. The guy had a therapist to deal with Kevin. You know, he really did. Because it's so overwhelming when you're a manager

and the same happens on the other end. When you're a comic, you deal with so many people. You know, your agency has three people calling you all the time. Your agent, his assistant, and the receptionist. And you deal with those three fucking people and then you deal with your manager and his assistant and everybody else that fucking calls you, you know?

And you, when you're a comic, you just get, you talk to these people all fucking day, but the time you get on stage, you don't even know what side is right. You don't know whether you're coming or you're going. And I think after a while, it drives you fucking crazy. You know, you have to keep, it's like Tom Fathers manager over the pandemic.

A lot of people made booze over the pandemic because they realized they didn't need these people no more. These people were just getting in their way, you know? And like for me, I'm Hollywood free right now. I talked to, I have a podcast agent. She helps me out with everything. I, I throw all the jobs now that my agent used to get. My agent don't return my calls.

He don't want to know what the fuck I'm doing. So I'm doing it all on my own. That's why I went back to actors access to like, you know, like you gotta find, I got Matt Fultron coming on today. And we talked about on the podcast today that you don't need those motherfucking pukes anymore. You don't even need to be around them. I don't want their fucking words going into my brains

and fucking nothing. I don't want to talk to those people anymore at all. I'm switching to a New York agency and I'm gonna fucking go for it. Whether I do stand up next year or tomorrow, who the fuck knows? I'm not gonna stress it no more. When I feel it, it's in my nutsack.

I'll be ready to fucking go. You know, right now I'm just happy to be 90% back. 90% back. I'm getting hard ons. Everything's fucking beautiful. I always get hard ons. I'm lying to you. I get mysterious hard ons.

I get hard ons when I'm driving. You never get a hard on when you get it. And when you're after 50, they always pop up. It's like when you're eight years old. Yeah, when you're eight, your dick pops up. I don't know where my friend was telling me her son came up to the other day with a hard dick and said, mommy, what's wrong with it?

It's gonna break. And she goes, don't touch it. It's gonna, it might break or something. You know, yeah, he showed up with a hard dick. You ever show your mom your dick? I remember how to show my mom my dick one time. I was like 14. I was really ashamed.

So I woke her up in the middle of the night and showed her to her. She's like, what? Oh, yeah, you might have to go see a doctor. And that was it. My mom fell asleep watching TV. And I remember I went up on her with my dick and she's like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

She was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Can't show me. I had my dick like right here because it was dark in the room. And they just like put the light on. Let me see, I'm hungover. And now it's the end of that. But I showed my mom my dick.

That's something, my boy. You know, you even bang one out and you have to stop and mid bang out. The fucking sperm goes backwards and it clogs your fucking vein or something like that. You get like a swelling the next day. That's what happens when you're a kid. I don't know, when you're fucking 50.

Anyway, without further ado, my brother, Mr. Matt fucking Fultron, the full charge bitches. I'll check with the afterward. Check, one, two. Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. SINISTER MUSIC Yooooo.

What's up, my brother from a different mother? Good to see you. The movie star. What's up, my man. Welcome to the fucking joint, finally. It's great to be here. So close yet so far when. now where are you you're in the city i'm in brooklyn yeah okay how's it going out there

it's going just fine you know you got any garbage on your street the what's that you got any garbage on your street oh plenty of garbage half of its mine you know last time i went to the city i saw a lot of fucking garbage brother oh yeah what was that that was moving uh that night the 22nd when i saw you at the beacon yeah we stopped at a pizza parlor and i was eating the pizza outside because they just started the you know the covid thing yeah and i went outside to eat the pizza and all of a sudden i saw a rat the size of my fucking foot his tail was bigger than a fucking black dude's dick that's been in jail for 20 years that tail was fucking long and second damn these rats never fucking slowed down now they're getting citizenship these days man

it's ridiculous you have to they find you see the videos in new york at a ranch running with pizzas and yeah i saw one about a year ago with a chicken wing you know it's yeah i mean when i was a kid there were rats at my godmother's house and she told me that the rat attacked the kid upstairs and they breathe on you while they bite you or some shit like that's why you couldn't go to bed with sticky fingers yeah you know wash your hands and shit i would keep the staying at my godmother's to a minimum i would put little mousetraps around my little fucking bed in the back i hated it i fucking hate those things dude we were walking down the street in the summertime one time my fiance had sandals on and this rat just ran straight out of one trash can and and just walked ran right over

her foot them little fingers just grabbed onto her feet and pushed off she jumped a mile high man i bet she did and you would see my chubby ass i would have been like nasa i would have been fucking up there in the air and i would have landed and chased that fucking rat bastard i'm not scared i just don't like him close to me like if they get close to me i'll hit him with a stick i used to kill rats in new york as a kid i bet me and my little buddies on 88 street would chase him we would see him in the daylight chase him and those kids were brutal they would beat him with sticks then fucking hit him with rocks then they get their father to run over him and then we would like the motherfucker on fire when he was a pancake and shit we were ruthless on 88 street dude serial

killer training ground fucking hate those motherfuckers what's going on with you my man nothing dude i'm just uh resurrecting the career getting back to work where do you spot that i do spots at gotham and uh old man hustle and all the indie shows i can muster around new york we want to get the east side comedy club east east vill or east side east side i think they have one on fifth street and one uptown never done east side i've done east vill which is now in brooklyn like close to downtown i've done that place but east side i don't know there's a lot of clubs here some of them aren't even that popular and you don't even really know about them and then you walk down the street and you're like there's a fucking comedy club there's a comedy club i mean who goes to like

stand up new york anymore i don't hear nobody say to me i do such a stand up new york nobody goes to the comic strip i don't know if that's open i hear nobody yeah that's weird those uptown those uptown clubs nobody goes to so much no we were right around the corner that night when we were at the beacon theater we were like two blocks away from i know the uptown uh whatever that is up down 77 street or something like that i don't know i played the beacon theater before open a yeah did you really it was fucking awesome we did two shows i was hung over from my borgata show in inlatic city it was one of the few nights we stayed the night you know usually we got on the tour bus and we left but i stayed the night and drank way too much whiskey you know i was out

of practice and i got hung over and i puked for the first time in years and then rode into uh to new york on the bus just feeling like shit and then like you know reluctantly went on stage and just started killing and just loving it and two show that just like completely gave the life back to me man that place is amazing i love it it is fucking amazing i was a cunt here from doing it yeah oh before the pandemic because i did the next obvious choice was the beacon i had done town hall so i was gonna go i'm gonna go up to the upper west side with the pips up there but i think it seats like 2000 it's awesome it's fucking awesome it's awesome and who was there when we were there last fucking denaro robert denaro walked out on stage that was so great

that was crazy when he walked out with a little suit with jane and shit i love jane i love them people denaro he fucked up everything that guy he fucked up he hates all that stuff the last premiere i went with that motherfucker he fell asleep he was in front of me sleeping with a little italian hat on when i walked we got up i go i go mr d wake up he said uh i just got to close my eyes for a second me and my buddy still where i went to thanksgiving he went with me to that premiere and he was still laughing about it that denaro he's old man and i couldn't imagine having to go to fucking three movies a week come on making believe you're into it and their shitty movies i can see if like they're old movies and you know the premiere you gotta go and tell the people he did a great

job oh my god the movie was horrible you know sort of like my movie if fucking i i don't know what the fuck happened with it but i listen for me when i was shooting it i said listen i don't give a fuck if this movie bombs i'm doing it for me yeah i give it do something for you absolutely man i loved i love the movie i'm a big sopranos fan so i got all the jokes and everything and i fucking love seeing you up there and you got to see yourself get your face shot off how many people get to see that in their life and let me tell you something at first i was like i don't know if i'm gonna like this like people thought i had something to do with it like i have friends and people on patreon and they're like dog you shouldn't have gotten shot i have three or four people bobble lingus the guy

visited on thursday a couple people on patreon a couple people on twitter wrote me messing like hey man we turned it off as soon as you got shot like that right you can't do that to us we don't want to see that we don't people were crying we don't need that shit they said that when they saw my picture in the setting like at the wake they were like we didn't need to see that yeah don't listen it's a sopranos dude somebody's gonna get shot that's just how it is and i always had listen when i saw joe passion get shot and good fellas yeah that's the coolest thing in the world right shot in a mob movie like you're gonna they're gonna remember you you're gonna go up to him say how's joe dears he got shot yeah that's it they always remember you for getting fucking shot and i don't give a fuck for me

it was it was uh playtime cops and rubs i thought it was coolest shit i thought it was coolest shit i thought it was coolest shit too in my heart yeah yeah i had a great time and all those guys i was on the screen with were all dynamite young men i speak to all of them they check in with their uncle joey it brings a tear to my eye but they good fucking people and great actors hell fuck yeah some of the best actors around dude john berthall and the other guy alessandro did a good job i love mass uh gandalfini oh fuck yeah he was so good he's getting a lot of love now man yeah are they are they gonna do another movie because i would love to see gandalfini keep going in that character i would love to see gandalfini keep going i'm not sure i'm not you know a little some month

for me what do you want me to call the people once a week what are we doing the movie i can't if they want to call me and include me in their love i'm in but if not that's fine too it would have to be a a prequel to the prequel if you're gonna be yeah right yeah it would have to be a prequel to the prequel to the prequel so but chase has done crazy things absolutely okay you know you know what chase does a lot more than once is twins he does his twins like yeah we shot this guy but his twin brother's right here yeah yeah he's done that like three times i think yes he did it in the sopranos he did it were raley oda yeah who else and somebody else i think well there was there was steve brisham he had twins neither of them died but then you had uh philly's brother

got shot and he was a twin uh so to me that's three that's like a lot of twins for one series you're a fucking genius because i never even thought of that twins you just fucking opened up a whole thing to me listen give it like i just saw something that uh wil farrell and his buddy got into a fight yeah yeah adam mckay yeah adam mckay because he hired what's his name first or something yeah i'd never i used to be like that when people waste your time like people come to the comedy store we're here to see you for this movie and then they bust your chops 10 times and then at the end you don't hear them anymore right and you're like what happened also and you see the movie advertising like what happened to my fucking role and they give it to some other jimoku and the movie

bombs and then you're happy you're like fuck you cocksucker parks and all you and all your grandmothers but i used to have that little thing to me now i just wish them luck if i auditioned for a movie and i do a good job that's all i could do yeah it's up to them there's so many factors think about it they've been wanting to put you in the sopranos for years i was just watching an episode the other day i watch it all the time and the fbi agent mentions joey coco yep said that you like you've been on their radar and it's because of your auditions in the past that you've been on their radar you didn't get it at the time you got it later yeah fucking cool and you had something to do during the pandemic right were you shooting during the pandemic you must have been two days

so last year we had to do reshoots or added shoots we shot the the confirmation scene in brooklyn that was done in your neighborhood right we all did that in two days right so i broke into two parts so monday we did all the stuff in the courtyard and then tuesday we did my scene with ray leota and you know father pussy and all that the guy he's a great guy the guy that played the priest i had to blast at that fucking dude that's his name is in my phone mic the priest i'm gonna give him a call today because he wants to take me to lunch up north he's up uh like nyak so he's yeah just come up to north bergen we'll do some fucking lunch and i gotta bring you over my wife said to me i said she goes who's on the podcast tomorrow i go matt and she goes

she's coming over i go nah he's in brooklyn or i thought you were in the city i got a car i got a car so anytime she told she said tell that motherfucker to get in the car and come down and see us we got great food down here we got mickey down here you got booze i got booze down here i don't fucking drink it i got heineken's for you i got no alcohol for you i'll bring my fiance down there yeah you like chinese i love chinese i absolutely love chinese we got some good chinese here it's all i got everything down here i talked to this uh ufc fighter mickey gall the other day he's come on the contest i don't make a great guy yeah and he called me i called him to wish him luck this week you know he's fighting saturday in the ufc and we were chit chatting and shit he's like

how do you like it down there he goes i got an aunt that lives down there she used to go to new york all the time for dinner she stopped about eight years ago she says the food down there is great it's great down here uh atlantic city is great yeah red bank is great i think mickey just went there red bank got some good steak houses and shit got a nant over there yeah yeah they got some comedy theaters down there it's a nice you know new brunswick got a nice steak house new jersey's fucking rocking you know what i'm saying it's still new jersey it still stinks like dick when you're on the turnpike dog i mean the other day i was on the turnpike i'm like if i could fart like this i would fucking make a million dollars a year like the fart on demand that that

stink while you get to new york right when you get to new work airport like elizabeth from the south coming up south yeah matt you gotta smell that it's oh i do i stick my head out the window and if you see a little puddle that's been stagnant there for a while you can see the cancer cells growing in it you can see like it's got like a little fucking uh little i v line for i mean it's yeah you know yeah listen if you live in jersey you're eventually gonna get cancer there's something electrical poles you know something that'll fuck you up yeah you know it's a joke yeah like jersey was where they put all the trash it's a joke statin island in jersey you go to statin island it smells like shit i love statin island i tell you i fucking love i love the people from statin island let

he cross the street makes me fucking spaghetti once a week her husband's knocking on my door here my wife sent you this yesterday she sent me pasta fizzle it's spaghetti it's a soup and beans and fucking green stuff and protein dog a little fuck you gotta in the car i almost died when i do come over my fiance is gonna make us meatballs we're gonna bring them she makes the best fucking meatballs she's italian you'll fucking love it done done now you spent the whole pandemic in new orleans not the whole pandemic i spent from first of all i got a call from you this is the first gig cancelled you called me up we were supposed to play nyak and i was like and you and you were like we can't do it they're not you know it's not happening and i remember thinking man me and joey's

gig is the only one that got cancelled and then everybody's gig got cancelled but uh so i was in new orleans from march until september and uh it was it was a rough scene dude this is a popular podcast i don't want to step on any toes with my in-laws but you know how it is i'm used to being an independent guy i'm used to being you're a comedian you get it like you just go on your own schedule nobody puts their two cents into your life at all and there i was with my future and mother-in-law and dealing and my extended in-laws are down there and it was just a whole scenario everybody wanted to see each other before the vaccines came out and everybody was just like it was just like way more people in my business than i was used to and i eventually got an air b and b

down there and just kind of got away from the family i was like this is getting too crazy and i got away and just lived in new orleans by myself how is the pandemic down there like when they shut all those bars down and all that shit how was the attitude you just you know you got to know i didn't get out of the house much so i didn't see it but you got to know that's what new orleans is all about they uh they the whole thing like marty grog I canceled that was devastating to everybody and it's a very social very party town and it was just gone but then there was some people who you know like everywhere after a while we're just like fuck it we're gonna see each other we're gonna do the best we can without getting too close to each other blah blah blah blah

so i didn't really leave the house till i got vaccinated uh we we ended up back in new york from september through january and that that was like that sucked too because me and my fiance were just crammed into a two bedroom apartment and it felt like night of the living dead just walking around you know uh and it was cold to walk around it was brutal man so then we went back my fiance's mom sold no she bought a new house but kept the old one so i went back in the beginning of 2021 and that was a whole different thing we had our own house we it looked like we were crashing there like punk rockers because it was a big house and all there was was like one bed and one couch and one tv but they did have a pool i swam laps it was warm weather so 2021 was a whole different story

and then we got vaccinated so we were excited about the future so it was nice the second time around how crazy we got vaccinated we were expecting all this hoopla in two months later people started getting breakthrough cases and then they want to start selling the the fucking vaccine and people like dog it's breakthrough cases but you're not gonna die well guess what nobody's fucking punching the ticket you know i talked to a friend of mine yesterday they just go school close the school district in jersey down south my girl i grew up with is a principal down there she's like i'm out of a job three weeks they just gonna lock it up for the fucking month because by the time they get back and testing and shit yeah so you know i don't all these fucking breakthrough cases it makes you

think but then people are you gonna die what a fucking mind fuck for america you know it really is sucks because every time you get optimistic there's there's new news and then the news is always uh it's always more alarmist than it needs to be like the headlines are always try to scare you and then if you read the article it's like oh it's not that bad it's not that bad they try to freak you out and and at this point i'm vaccinated i just got my booster what am i gonna do i'm just i you know it's not like they're paying us to stay home i would love to stay home and make money but it's not happening for me so i gotta get out there and stand up what's that how's the work situation work situation is fine it's not the best but i'm surviving and i'm working and i just i like to

and stand up so much more than i did before 2020 i'm just so into it i've got new material obviously from going down to new louisiana and uh i just um it's exciting to do it i'm way into it right now you know that's good no it's very good because it can become a job and it can get tedious and it can be especially traveling you know about that traveling's exhausting and then the crowds every night exhausting but it's actually good i'm not working every weekend because it's just too much you know you know that you sold me on that philosophy a while ago you know two weeks a month was your policy right that was it or less yeah that's what i can handle listen yeah you have a schedule and they i look at these tours people are doing and this you know you look at them and you

go nope nope nope nope and then you see some guys that they get it they you see that they're rounding it out they're just trying to get out there to stay relevant they're not trying to and that's what i would do now if i was out there i'd just be hitting my favorite spots to stay relevant friday saturday four shows get me in and out no more drama no radio no nothing we'll fucking promote it if they come they come if they don't what do you want me to fucking do you know what i can't control this fucking what people think or whatever it's not wide open but then you look at like nick games and you watch you know you see what tom's doing a good friend i'm working a lot which is good for me because i open for him sometimes that's perfect that's good that is fine with me you know you see

what these guys are working but they all have an out plan yeah if you speak to tom he'll say to you bro i'm doing this with this period and then i'm yeah yeah focus on podcasting i'm doing it you know i spoke to bernie's like i'm doing this for a certain time one more tour yeah for me i had just been burnt out they had become a job yeah and i wanted to unwind a little bit i was just coming to a new place i don't want to land here and three weeks later i gotta pack up on a tuesday i don't know new work airport you know i gotta learn you know i gotta attack it slow you don't want to crack dude i we we were at new york airport together one time i don't know if you remember and you walk straight up you walk straight up to jersey mikes sub shop and you're like what the fuck are you

doing here you got real sandwiches here we don't need no fucking jersey mikes and the kid was just like i don't know what to tell you i'm pissed at jersey mikes that's okay if you're an i well yeah i had jersey mikes bro i can't lie to you and it was good like three times and then my fucking and then my fucking conscience came into play comma catholic and i think about our shit and then my conscience came into play and i thought about how i'm cheating on italian people who come over here on a fucking boat with a salami to give us culture and food and we're fucking eating that shit from fucking fat mikes whatever his fucking name is jersey mikes but meanwhile there's an italian guy that he's got fucking you know when the what what do you call that

shit when the pasta goes to your toes and your feet hurt gout you know he's got gout he's standing on his feet all day waiting to make a fucking sandwich and you're going to fucking jersey mice cocksuck and it didn't come to fucking fruition till i came to jersey and i saw jersey mice the first time i saw jersey mice in jersey i actually stopped the car look in there and i had to think twice if i had a gun in the car because i swear to god i become ices i will ices every fucking jersey mice and then the biggest ices i want to do is 42nd street new years shoot the fucking olive garden down me and 20 other fucking italians and we'll give a fucking pasta curtain silver the guy who from the guardian angels that want to be mayor come on this is how you be mayor

lock that fucking olive garden you lock that olive garden up you'll get 10 million votes mother fuck i'm sorry i'm getting emotional about olive garden fucking jersey mikes but enough is enough come suck it dude i heard jersey mike is from delaware fuck jersey mike fuck jersey mikes i'm totally making that up i don't know if that's and i'll tell you what listen let's talk honestly yeah i went to somebody's house maybe a month ago they were watching football and they had a roast beef sandwich with coast law and they cut it you know they got like a foot long and they broke it into 30 pieces and i ate one you know you're there you got a little thc in your system from the night before you sure do and i took a bite of it and right away it was like

eating lamb like it was like eating veal like i felt guilty like some of these fucking lamb is dead and i couldn't imagine why am i feeling guilty about roast beef with coast law it's not a cake i'm not gonna die it's just three little fucking points like ah it's the jersey mikes that's got me fucked up keeping you down dude now blimpy let's talk about blimpy base please i thought we'd never get to this blimpy is deep in my dna okay now we're getting somewhere all right yesterday about a week ago maybe two weeks ago me jim florentine my daughter and jimmy's son and my wife went to this really good italian restaurant we were running late the guy called he goes i'm making pasta come over we went down there i love joe from alnito i went i brought joe rogan there i'm gonna

bring fucking mike there one day when he's here past five because i don't want him to drive up two hours for alnito then he's gonna drive two hours back full they'll call me i fell asleep in tom's river like you did last tuesday so my wife took my daughter and my daughter when we were going out we're leaving we're talking by the door yeah she was like take a card you know if you know anybody so my daughter takes a card this is two weeks ago yesterday she drops on me she says that guess who i gave that card then i go who she goes my teacher i told her so here this is the restaurant for you and she's like what do you recommend it my daughter's like fuck yeah i recommend and she goes uh okay i'll let you know how it is so i told the owner what my daughter then he goes tell

he sent me back a text he goes tell her to get the name and reservation it's not me from no mercy told him if you go in there tell the owner you know me right my fucking eight-year-old daughter she's already jersey baby she's already jersey dog you gotta love she loves all the yuhus yeah i she likes bottle yuhu i gave her a candy and she's like dad this don't taste right i go okay they use different they use different water there they use that philadelphia water for the kids so i remember when i was in the fucking second grade let's just say second grade terby uh i used they used to i used to live on 88th street yeah right in new york city i'm brought away a little off towards amsterdam and on 86th street there was a blimpy base oh my god oh yeah oh my god because i

just ate american food when i was a kid because i wanted to be american right so blimpy what's more american than fucking blimpy you know blimpy's awesome yeah i would go to blimpy every day and i finally found the sandwich i liked there was two blimpy sandwiches i like a tuna with vinegar oil and a slice of american cheese come on dog i'm getting hungry now and the roast beef with american with vinegar oil let us tomato onion tremendous one day i'm going to school like in the second grade i'm like fuck school i'm gonna move for a blimpy's fucking sandwich like my mom didn't wake up that morning i made me breakfast she gave me like harness juice with emulsive of cotton and i was furious i'm walking towards amsterdam i'm like fuck this i'm gonna hide at the bodega to the bell

rings and then i'm gonna go to blimpy base and that's exactly what i did but when i'm in blimpy base as i'm walking to the blimpy base who bumps into me the truan officer oh shit and he goes son how come you're not in school i'm hungry he's like what do you mean you're hungry i go i'm fucking hungry that's why i'm not in school he goes so what are you gonna do i go i was headed over to the blimpy base if you want to come over buy your sandwich that's how fucking smart i was in the eighth grade right i was fucking second grade yeah you know my mom gave me like a 20 that's like eight blimpy sandwich sure back then yeah i bought him a blimpy sandwich we sat to eat i'll never forget this and there was a side door that took you towards riverside drive and i remember wiping

my hands going it was nice meeting you he goes you're going back to school and i'm now i'm going to the park i went down the riverside drive just went to the park i got home my mom's like you didn't go to school i got beat up but at least i had a roast beef sandwich in my belly that's how i knew the tuna from subway wasn't real because i've been well yeah from fucking uh blimpy since jesus left what is what is the tuna in subway i never read the article i just saw the headline is dead mexicans that tried across the fucking the real grand river when they drown they pull them out there's them their skin is soggy and they just chop it up and send it no shit you gotta assume you gotta assume yeah like it doesn't take a genius i i listen i had a relationship with stake

him not recently because they're fucking terrible but 30 years ago i had a good relationship with stake him but if you look at the stake him now you're a little bit more intelligent you're a little bit more wiser if you look at the stake him you're like that looks like a black dude's thigh you that's that's what goes through your head yeah black dude's thigh they did a guy died in the motorcycle one of the guys from not the mayans what was the black motorcycle gang and sons of anarchy i know what you're talking about accident and they they fucked their leg up and right away in my mind i feel like the ambulance actually caused like stake him um white castle all those people who were to meet a like kind of white castle's horse i'll eat it and say a prayer

yeah it's just all onions i ate that in a hotel room one time and my hotel room just smell like onions fresh and do you want to really the test of white castle yeah white castle when you're drunk wake up the next morning and smell your fingers you think you fucking finger the dead person it smells fucking horrible and it makes you fart like crazy too doesn't it am i wrong about that i only have one i i like white castle when i go with my daughter we haven't been in about two months when we got here i took her she was like dad this is great we would go up down saturdays and come on and watch the honeymooners yeah we would split the ten pack yeah no cheese for her three with cheese steamed yeah some fucking fries and uh damn diet soda and then we split the milkshake three ways

dude this podcast is making me hungry oh yeah you're gonna be hungry when you fucking get out that's what we do it's had a handful of peanuts before this i i need to fucking eat i had some left over chicken and Cuban rice man and it was good for lunch i went to the gym i dropped my car off in service today i bought that car january i've never gotten a service started making noises and shit i took it down to the Subaru dealer this morning so what's your future brother what what are you looking at in 2022 i mean we're getting married i'm getting married in 2022 i've got a uh i'm working on a tv show uh with um i don't want to give too many details but it looks like it could happen which is always exciting we know those things these things don't always happen but at least

it's something to be excited about and i love the project my friend and i that i went to film school with 25 years ago we're we're getting it together and um i've got a couple people on board already so i'm really excited about that hopefully that'll take off next year and then just doing the road and uh you know the full charge power hour i do that podcast still i stopped for a little bit and started that back up again and that ought to keep me busy i think i also want to do a i also want to do a half hour or an hour special soon just shoot it so i can i can concentrate on that and shoot that shoot it yourself i love what shane gillis did yeah i love what shane gillis did it's a new way to do it that's how everybody does it he didn't give up he pushed ahead and he's making great fucking

strides you know uh all these guys i love it now that you control your own destiny it's really cemented now that as a comedian you don't need fucking hollywood you need uh a booking agent to book you but anybody who could breathe into a glass could book you sure anyone that's not you can fucking book you don't believe the fucking hype because all of them are horrible right now like if i was to fire the guy i'm with where would i go because they all suck they're all fucking thieves right and this sacks of shit so where would you fucking go they're a little lazy too oh that's what's going on that won't vary ladies and all we do all we do is comics is go oh that won't work well i'm gonna try it anyway i'm gonna try that's all we do is what are you

listening to a fucking agent for that's like listen to me about music or guitars i don't know nothing i don't know nothing i can tell you a plan but i don't want to comedy is what i know like i would be a good comedy manager now because i've done it for 30 years i know the obstacles and i could talk to somebody and they would understand but these guys they failed at whatever they fucking tried and now they're trying to pimp human beings out and the fact that they don't even do it right anymore they don't even do it right they don't really give a fuck look at my agent i told him i didn't want to go on the road no more no auditions really all the money i gave you on time you hear about all these comics that all the agency's money i fucking pay him that's

the first person i pay when i land absolutely i write the commission check and it's in the mail and they get on tuesday so all this good work i did now you don't want to book me and fucking tv and film you sacks of shit you know you miserable sacks of motherless fucking pieces of shit you know and i get it i'm an old fucking man but i still got listen read a marino's 90 and she's still working and that's my new fucking goal that's what i'm going for i was already killing myself you do know that but i was already putting myself in the old guys home and i snapped out of this fucking coma i took a look at my ball sack i sniffed it and i go what the fuck am i thinking i'm no old fucking man i got white my balls hair or white but i got more blood in my

fucking heart than most fucking young kids i'm going they're not yeah they're not going to film your balls and you're always castable they always need your type no matter what your type is no so i call the agent this morning i go listen i'm committing to this with you i really want to do it i'll put i'll do some better fucking auditions you know that i'm looking for a big 2022 like a fun yeah man like we've been living in hell for two fucking years we need it two years two fucking years it feels like two fucking years you know it is because time is just slowly fucking taken you know you know we're they got a bunch of surprises for us what's that they got a bunch of surprises for us in 2022 yeah dude yeah we all just gotta hang in there and wait for these three weeks to go by boy once

that january comes they're gonna come at us with some fucking crazy shit so i want everybody to be prepared for 2022 it's gonna be a crucial fucking time for all of us i like what you're saying man i fucking read your your uh your tweets every day man i i appreciate the inspiration and i think you're right i think you're right 2022 we could spank i'd rather go out with a bang and turn 60 in 2023 and then get a job at Costco hi welcome to Costco how are you today and people don't didn't i just see you on the tv show yeah that was done and this is now cocksucker i'm now at Costco's i'm just giving out fucking stickers you're here you know i'm saying i got my face in my name tag that's it i'm all i'm not gonna fucking play lay down sally and i'll tell you what i'm getting

happy again i'm getting excited i will i i think one of these nights somebody's gonna call me and go hey man take a ride me to a comedy club and i'm gonna jump and get on stage and i'm gonna go attack it like i took two years off and fall in love with it the way you did again for the art let me tell you to fall in love with it for the art oh yeah good well i know i was just gonna say like i was nervous about i wasn't on stage for a whole year and i was nervous about how good i would be but i just prepared for it and everything was fine in fact it was probably better than the last time i did stand up because i was excited about it i had the nerves going a little bit i loved it it was so great and i even had new i was even doing new material the first uh the

first time back on stage and even fucking with the audience a little bit pushing them a little bit you know i was in nashville though it was easy to do it it's easy my wife's going to nashville and i was thinking of going with her maybe jumping on the monday night open mic at zaynie's going to nc thio and whatever but i think that week thio will be in new orleans with his family and josh willful be fucking running with the jews you know it's it's the foolish time of the year that's what i did i went there because i wasn't like interested in getting paid a lot i just wanted to get back on stage and new orleans didn't have much even though they have a comedy club now but josh does like a variety show there now which is totally fun you can just go up and do 10 minutes

and it's it's a lot you know how much fun josh is he's the fucking right he's starting to have a lot of fun he yeah i'm happy he got an l.a i think a lot of guys just needed to get the fuck out of l.a l.a is not doing nothing for you no more get the fuck out of there it's such a i'm happy to be the fuck out of there i'm grateful every day that whoever put this idea in my mind to get the fuck out of there it worked and whoever got me back here worked i'm happy to be back here yeah and uh it's just i i wanted to take care of myself to right yeah man i wanted to fucking get healthy i wasn't i'm not healthy i wasn't healthy for the last year this fucked with me a little bit yeah yeah but guess what yesterday i motherfucked three people that means i'm back and today i motherfucked

somebody early which means i'm back that's how i know i'm back when i get in a bad mood and i have to tell people to suck my dick this morning i went off and the guy yeah i felt he came up to me the wrong way and i apologized i called him when i got home but hey you know people started taking me for granted a little bit like they will forget i'm a fucking sex knock it off man be a good guy me and i'll be a good guy to you and right we'll leave it at that you know well i never knew the difference man you you you never went away in my mind no i just laying low and yeah when it's time you know when it's time i'm gonna it's like they're gonna put me in a cell and i'm gonna bust out of that cell i don't know if it's gonna be tomorrow i don't know if it's gonna be in 2022

i think it'll be in 2022 and i'll go straight and 2022 with a nice show at rembank we'll go down there the fucking vogal theater i'm doing a one-man show you know yeah i'm interested maybe doing a one-man show i have a lot of things i like to do nothing concrete but i'm trying to figure out 2022 2021 is done we got a Christmas jingle you drink a glass of fucking uh eat a grape and it's new years and that's it that's it it's december one today you know yeah that is one thing la taught us is that the year's over around december 10th yeah you know but you might as well just call it now because hollywood is slow right now anyways show business is slow right now it's been so so for it to go into this was my time of the always december one to the 18th yeah i try to book a episodic

to come out of the box like there's nothing like eating eating christmas dinner and thinking fuck yeah january fourth i go right to work you got no worries that's one worry that's so out of your mind you're like that's so great i know i'm just doing some stand-up but i got that going for me i'm working in vegas on january second really at the top of cana uh greg hawn's headline and i'm doing the uh the middle spot and uh just eight days of destruction dude in the warm weather how the fuck is greg hawn he's doing fine i saw him in uh in april he's doing fine dude when does he live he lives uh north of la uh i think ventura i think he lives in ventura i haven't seen him since 1998 yeah that's a long time we almost got into a fistfight in santa cruz awesome because

he called me a lot he said creative entertainment didn't pay headline is 250 uh so i went in my car and i got him to paste up i was just saying go call him you like when you're in carriage comics you're like call them they're paying it was in north carolina the rooms suck but it was 250 a fucking night when you yeah the headline and you drive i did them with vinny light bulbs we did like three weeks we went to tennessee fucking you go to west virginia you're doing coal miner rooms one place charged me $50 every time i said fuck every time you said fuck they charge you $50 the guy goes listen i quit at 200 i go what are your chances of getting that 200 you know what i'm saying get the fuck out of here you're like the blues brothers you owe them money yeah no it was so i was trying

to help him i'm like greg call him and greg's like you're bullshitting me and i'm like look at it they pay headline is 250 and features 175 this is 99 98 yeah carrot top had moved already they needed headline is north carolina they're like come even left a couple props for you yeah he left a couple props he left me a broom with this fucking hairdo on it you know his fucking hairdo looks like he combed his hair with a chemistry set like i love carrot top he's always been cool to me but then he's like you're a liar you got that printed up i go hunt great what the fuck he was a three arts then yeah we got into a little pushing match and uh a lesbian girl broke us up those lgbtq they don't like fucking fistfights around them Mimi Gonzalez that was her name Cuban Jewish chick

from fucking new york city dude your life i was gonna tell you i was gonna tell you that in 2022 you should make a movie about it's joey Diaz is a superhero and you're all busting out of jail you're doing all this crazy stuff but the more i talk to you that your life should be filmed every fucking second i know you would hate that but you're a fucking show man you're ridiculous i'm ready to go like i'm ready to go burt called me last night and said if i wanted to be part of the fifth of his 500 episode yeah you know what i don't want to fly but it kind of be nice to go to LA yeah fucking uh put a pipe bomb and some guy i gotta kill i gotta learn how to make a pipe bomb now i could kill him there's a couple people want to go visit out there i miss a couple of my friends

but i think i need to go out there and straighten out some people that flash mob i just gotta hold to them i sent them to the guy's house that's fucking me i'm gonna send them over to 80 people go into that fucking place and beat up that fucking guy i told them they got a lot of money in there a lot of appliances a lot of hammers so you're going to LA to do birds podcast and kick the shit out of some people yeah is that what you're saying all right that's awesome man go to LA and point the flash mob is in the right direction okay okay i got you i got you i got like three locations i'm in for the small nickel yeah just give me five percent of the whatever you take and the guy that you're gonna rob i want you to give him a beat break both his kneecaps

and rip on here i want to see an ear in my fucking house i want you to mail me an ear in a box no i just got the part yeah i just i was moving yeah i just need to go out there maybe so if if i want to i'll see what the date is i really want to go see joe in austin and do a podcast on there before because we always did that december 27th uh huh yeah so i'm gonna give him a ring today and see if he's going away on vacation i mean if i had a hundred million dollars i'll leave on the 25th and go to santa's house yeah santa sucked my dick you know i'm saying this 10 million santa sniffed that nutsack and that's no beard cocksucker i'm gonna make a call for you because i want you to do spots at the east side comedy my buddy's running at bryan wood okay yeah

do your friend of mine from zanies i know him since he was in college he's worked himself up the comedy ranks he started to laugh factory then he got a general manager zanies and chicago and he just took the general manager job over at east side comedy club i know who you're talking about you know bryan morton i don't know him but i've seen all this online and i would love the hookup yeah he's a great guy so i'll give him a call later on and hook you up and i appreciate hopefully i could see you early in january you're always welcome to swing by and get a fucking spare rib with uncle joey i would love it it would make my fucking life we gotta do it you're one of my favorite people in the world was always great to

work with you on the road that's one thing i miss is when you said that about new york and the fucking sandwich i was like that's right we used to have a blast on the road you're on a crusade squash and sandwich shops i fucking love this shit man i miss you miss you too i'm happy you took the time today i love you to thank you for your zoom working i've been working with these comedians lately at the zoom suck what the fuck you gotta work on your zooms cock sucker you gotta fix them this was an enjoyable fucking zoom you know what i'm saying hell yeah dude any luck out sometimes my zoom sucks but we lucked out we lucked out any dates coming up uh yeah i'm doing vegas january 2nd through 9th and i'm doing uh funny stop in koyahoga falls ohio february i think

10 through 12 that's a funny one that's a good club up there in ohio oh that's a good people every show somebody will put somebody will fucking even give you a package full of meth or an oxycodon you know what i'm saying that's a crazy club that's a crazy club the club owner's crazy he yells at the comics from the back of the room he fucking he calls his shit he calls all the local comics gay he's a fucking he's a maniac i used to know one of the managers there he had worked at uh craigs room in kansas city big time fucking party yeah went up there he's the one that told me don't give that girl coke because she starts sucking dick no i'm not gonna give a coke that's the first person i'm gonna give cocaine to if she's sucking dick you know what i'm

saying and if she doesn't suck my dick that's fine either she sucks somebody's dicks and makes her day she's making the world a better place she's making the world a better place so give her the coke and hopefully she'll lick your fucking nuts you know what i'm saying yeah what's going on with tash you doing any road work with him or he just said i did i did some work with tash in uh august i did some la clubs and it was a fucking riot and i love hanging with that guy and we'll see hopefully you know once a year twice a year i get to work with him and that's always a pleasure man that's always a fucking pleasure that guy did it right bro he never got in trouble nobody ever said he just got his job and said fuck you motherfuckers i'll stand up when i want i'll

court your comedy central have them pay me everything they have you know they i heard one time they didn't have money that week that women were giving them jewels and shit from comedy central he works too heavy over there he's a slave driver fuck yeah no he yeah he don't fuck around no he don't fuck around yeah i love you matt full try thank you again have a happy holiday if i don't see you man hell yeah you're always walking down here right just so you gotta do his call let's work it out man you come in the daytime we'll take mickey to get some kung pao chicken he'll fucking there's a wiggle flip i'm all about it hopefully he comes down for the kung pao chicken oh really all the time down on our he comes down he brings his dog he leaves him in the yard and we shoot

down and get kung pao chicken nice i give him some reefer and we shoot home he's happy as fuck he sits in my backyard on the fucking hammock yeah with his long juicy and shit and it's fucking that sounds awesome dude one last thing what the fuck is that thing with the dating game oh young fucking matt full tron trying to pick up bitches on the dating game or whatever that was like that was like the first month i was in la right so i went to uh central casting to sign up for extra work and then uh on the way out the um you know the whoever books the dating game you know asked me to come in and audition and it was a crazy audition so all the contestants were there and you had to go up in and uh an audition in front of everybody and so it was like a stand-up

show but it was before i started doing stand-up but i was just in the zone man i was killing i was crushing and they they asked me to be on it and i said yeah you know i wanted to do something i knew it was like goofy but that was i was i was all about goofy back then you know and it was fun and i'm glad i have the footage now because it's a riot to see did they pay well or he introduced to me no fuck no they didn't pay me it's funny because when i first got that way i was telling mike i went to central casting they were doing the extras for the titanic oh wow and i remember driving to that little fucking resort it was like a three-hour drive from la i left my house at three in the morning yeah and i got there like they're like you got to be like a 530 yeah when i got there

they had a line of people that were going to be extras waiting to get their costumes yeah when i say a line of people i say about 75 yeah they were just there standing there right and the guy said it'll take about three hours to go through the process and then you're gonna go in there around nine in the morning uh and we they were working till midnight yeah man it was like a long fucking day and i'm like you know i gotta go to my car the guy goes you have an id and stuff like i gotta have my car and get it that's a class it was $35 flat yeah it was $35 for the day or something yeah that's tough man but the cell was you're gonna get in the movie if you go down there right don't make you a star in the movie were you gonna be one of the people were you gonna be one of the

people like falling off the ship as it turns sideways it's one of those a waiter you know whatever right right i didn't give a fuck i didn't know anything so yeah when they said come down and if we like you we'll put you in the movie yeah you know i was down there i was looking for Leonardo you know i went down there was Lenny at i got a you're a big Gilbert Grape fan i heard yeah i love i love Leonardo DiCaprio uh but i remember it was so difficult back then because you had to call an answering machine and they're like we're looking for this type and this type and this time i never called on a day that that like anything was available to my age rage or age rage or whatever and i i just gave up on it after a while because but i was always i was all about

doing extra work back then you know i wanted to you know and it's worth it to do it at least once just once just to learn a movie set yeah footage yeah you know what man i wanted to do it but then i got my pride and i don't want to be no fucking extra i work so hard as a comic it would just be a dent in my head but uh the guy used to come to the comedy store at night and he'd sign you up there and then he'd give you the jobs from there with central casting he was on me for about three weeks the guy yeah but he goes i can't get you in until i get the 35 dollar old sign up for you talk send me down man let's see what's going on if i get you're telling me i'm gonna be a star right yeah okay let me go down and get in when i come back i'll give you the 35 the guy wouldn't go for it

so i finally fucking worked him one day and i go how about i give you like 2750 yeah i mean i'll give you the other 750 guys like in so that's funny dude i didn't want to fucking do it man yeah but i love your math full trunk what i said he i'm saying already said he used to go to extra work and like leave yeah that's what i did i left a lot jimmy florentine told me he used to do it in the city leave yeah he figured out a way how he could leave and they still pay him yeah if you're gonna do that that's good i now in hindsight i don't know how accurate the statement is but yeah you think you want to be an extra for a day just to see how the set works yeah i think that that experience would fuck you when you see how they treat people yeah they treat people shitty so i think that you

would go there yeah they do they do they do i don't like them i look like when i do work and there's a lot of extras i'll give food to the extras i'll steal from crafty yeah i'll set calm up them and go you guys want m&m's or something yeah yeah you know they're sitting there they eat last right no i know they're they last they fucking go you know it's it's not good so they're below the p.a.'s on a film set yeah they keep them in their own pen yeah the extra pen can't talk to anybody they're not allowed to talk to anybody drinking water and they got like two things on craft service it's it's it listen man that hollywood game is rough that's the introduction to it it's fucking rough and i'm happy i don't have to deal with those fucking jerks no more and i don't have to buy

into their statements and but i love you man i love you too man you showed up and you got what you wanted out of them that's right no i made it happen on my own yeah they were there just fucking you know witnesses that's all they are a fucking witness when you come off that was great no it wasn't stop blowing smoke on my ass i ate a fucking bag of dicks and you're telling me that was great right go fuck yourself you watch that new kevin hart show no i haven't seen it true story on netflix i haven't checked it out it's an education for a comic all right i'll check it out dude i'll give you a call next week you're good yeah i love it i love you all my heart i appreciate you doing this i love you too man happy holidays send you my love to your girlfriend your fiance i will i

will come to the wedding i don't go to weddings but i'll come to your wedding all right good especially if it's a new allene's go down and eat some good jambalaya get some fucking katrina shrimp get a shrimp pool boy i love those shrimp pool boys i love those motherfuckers people try to make pool boys around here they don't know what that they that's all you need that yeah it's mixed with like alcoholic beverages and fuck yeah cat puke and shit not even blimpies can handle it no you know what i mean you gotta go to new ireland i could go for a blimpy sandwich right now i love you brother i love you keep in touch you need something you call i will thank you the man thank you for joining the joint today we love you brother i love you too man i'll talk to you later

thank you peace what's happened you bad motherfuckers i hope you enjoyed my little tape top day with my man matt fultron i saw matt i hadn't seen him in a long time and then i saw him at the soprano premiere and it was it was great we just talked on the street for a little while i hugged him i kissed him matt's one of the real ones in fucking comedy if he comes to your town buy a ticket go laugh a little bit giggle he's the real fucking deal that was another fun filled episode of the joint we're making a little comeback to end the year fucking strong i'm not gonna let you down and then we're coming back a year in 2022 even fucking strong we got turns and surprises and shit like that so get ready laughing gases and stock and that's all you need to worry about i

love you motherfuckers have a great fucking weekend and i'll see you guys monday morning december 6 tip top motherfucking magoo stay black cock suckers all right cock smokers i love you motherfuckers with all my heart i want to thank matt fultron it was just good to see him and to fucking talk to him like i said i bumped into him in the soprano premiere and he fucking brought a theater man he's a great fucking kid support him and all his stuff and i want to thank you guys for always having my back but most importantly real quick listen cbd is one of the best thing that's happened in the last couple years it's really taking the market by storming it works i happen to have the secret to who's got the best cbd and i'll go with cbd line i've tried like six

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