Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 12/17/2012 - The Church Of What's Happening Now #39

Episode Date: December 18, 2012

Jeremy from Ball Cancer Sucks calls in to talk and the Machine Bert Kreischer also calls in from Denver. This podcast is brough to you by Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount. Streamed live on 12/17/2012

It's a song from the beginning again, that's what I'm saying, I get the song from the beginning, this is the whole process, you gotta hit me, then hit the fucking song, not play the song and then hit me with the beat, then hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, hit me with the beat, tell me about your weekend motherfucker, can you see the real me come on motherfucker the who the doctor can't even see the real fucking you but i'm granaddjowee and the flying jucan welcome to the church of motherfucking what's happened now you know what i m saying it's monday december17 guess what this podcast is brought to you by onit go to onit.com take a look at the strong bone that's been fucking carrying me lately and i figured out why cuz Got some thing called stronium in it that builds around your fucking bones. I'm not kidding you

So beside the quite we serene and the other fucking thing for your joints and stuff and the hemp proteins been working out start your New Year's Resolution today why wait till the 31st like the rest of the fucking months then you're not gonna do them to the eighth And you're gonna quit by the 10th anyway If you start today you'll think about quitting but by the first you'll be fucking prime time ready to go Beside that Lee a little fucking music for the spirits I want to be around for the old lady and all the other motherfuckers and the struggle out there Smoking this Girl Scout cookie vapor pen today from fucking Eureka I got the Girl Scout cookie and I got the blue dream just in case I got a switch

When somebody breaks your heart cocksucker Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Monday morning. I'm sure Tony Bennett loves that remix What's it gonna do he's got one foot in the grave one of it. I'm saying what's it gonna do come get me Getting stoned to the gills today. You understand me. We ain't fucking around. We got a lot on the plate today I gotta go to kickboxing. I got an audition. I got it right. I gotta get ready for the end of the world show on Friday I got to jumping jack I gotta do it all we what's the story? How was your week at my little brother? It was it was great I you you make fun of me, but I went and to watch the game last night with some friends and I

Know I know you say oh, I don't know how you doing it If you don't have $18,000 on it, but it was it last night was probably the most fun I've ever had watching a game with friends. Oh stop it You went down and jumped up and down Obama came on oh And no one said anything and no one said anything on Facebook either no one complained at all How can you say something how can you say something as a matter of fact the church of what's happening now? It wants to do a couple seconds of silence for what happened in Connecticut. It's a shame. It's a fucking shame. So Just a moment there to acknowledge. We don't want to give it any more fucking negative light because

You never know Lee. You just never know people today You know I go on Facebook and I talk about gun control and this and that and it really makes you think man It really makes you think I mean I I seen little kids this week that was seven that broke my heart Oh, my friends kids. So my prayers your prayers even though you're fucking Jewish Jews go to the bank they look at it. They look at the way we look at the crucifix Bank of America. They look at it. God. Please come through this week. I suck Even though Jews don't praise it the end of Hanukkah yet probably yeah nine days You didn't check cock sucker. We're kind of like a fan of you. What kind of Jew are you? I'm here

You don't wear a yarmulke. You don't fucking stab people. I got a straight down cock sucker. You're sorry, man You know, I love you. Maybe that fart in the face will wake me up or something. Forget the fart in the face We got a whole new different dimensions. She wants to follow. We got a whole big night playing Friday night What are you talking about? Are you working Friday night? No, okay, you have insurance I don't want no problems. We have to call an ambulance and shit, you know I want to answer that question You're working your insurance. I got insurance. I got a level two. That's how I roll You know saying that means I could do acupuncture twice a month instead of four times my goal is level one, but we got problems

Uh, I want to ask you some questions. Lee Lee fucking Lee But who gives a fuck I got nothing to fucking ask you It was a great weekend and started the week started in San Diego at the madhouse if you came out and gave me some love I gave you some love back My set was a little fucked up because the three-hour drive to San Diego It's worse three hours and like 40 fucking minutes in the car Bump of the bumper on the five left here four o'clock. That's why I can't go and my friends always flying to San Diego Like we're flying into San Diego January 8th through 12th. So what are you telling me?

You got a flying to LA bitch. That's a three-hour fucking drive to San Diego anymore Yeah during rush hour three three and a half hours, and you know what the crazy thing is Lee It's two hours on the way back if you're a fucking civilian like if you pay your taxes and you're a nice person It's two hours when I was on the hunt for blow. I can make it back on an hour 25 I always tell that certain people like no, you can't fuck you motherfucker. I guess only a hundred and one miles 202 miles to San Diego. Yeah, if you're doing 70, that's an hour and a half, correct? Fidel knock it off cocksuck. I don't know who the fuck Fidel's chasing plus Was it raining on Thursday because it's been raining here and people are fucking idiots. No, no

It wasn't raining. It was just a straight shot We and Jerry the Roker went down there, but the manhouse comedy club is a great club Some cool motherfuckers came by, you know, and that was really my then Friday night at the at the lab factory That's hey about the left side. You know So I get down in I've realized I'm the last guy up. It's like they cook uh, every spears Maximini and then me okay, and they're in a fucking ruckus. Ari Spears is killing Maximini's killing And I go up last but I know it's a lot of people are waiting there, right?

I'm like fuck that I'm here every Friday and it's usually like dead, you know Yeah, tonight all these people are here. So I go up and they start clapping They were dead squad people. Really? Yeah, some girl gave me a fucking brain grenade brownie I came home and ate and I had fucking dreams. I wasn't I and I ran fighting fucking Puerto Ricans getting stabbed Uh, it was just a great fucking night a lot of dead squad people I see that the death squad stuff these chapters are popping up. I like it I like these dead squad chapters popping up. Kansas, Connecticut

Fucking that we gotta have 52 chapters. I've won up. Sarah Palin's backyard won in Puerto Rico We're gonna have a columbian chapter in case somebody's got to go to fucking columbia. We're gonna turn this like sons of anarchy We're gonna be into fucking national start getting charter members I know the dead squad, Connecticut's out there. There's another dead squad out there. That's rep for fucking sanny We got to get some motherfuckers in colorado some Montana We got to get some black people in Harlem to get dead squad fucking Harlem We got to get some chinese people for dead squad china town. You know what I'm saying? I love it and fuck it up Another thing I want to talk about here today before we forget our dear friend dunkin

Yeah, that was crazy went to my doctor last week waxler and bob hope And uh, they got a blood test and it came back, you know, whatever He had something wrong and one of his nuts got cut off and we went out to breakfast me him my wife Thursday He did the surgery friday. I've spoken to him friday saturday and sunday Checking and he's doing great. He wants to thank everybody for their thoughts and their prayers Uh, you know, like I told him he's unique. He's got one fucking nut now Everybody wants to suck a dick with one and what I told him to do was to get like a prosthetic

Oh, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, like one that pops out. It's one of the chicks sucks his dick He just Pops a nut out and the chicks like what happened you suck my fucking nut out. You know what I'm saying? But you can't go you got to either have one that you leave in to sew it up But I don't think you can pop it out. Yeah, you can't pop it out That'd be the whole thing to pop it out like, you know That either you can go for one nut to two nuts depending on where you're going You know, I don't know

But my man from ball cancer sucks.com is gonna call up and tell us Some things to look out for I know a lot of guys, isn't there? Women could get clipped cans and shit like that. So it's not a funny subject I just want you guys to pay attention. Maybe go get checked out and He caught it fucking at the right time So he did a blood test. There was nothing else left in his blood and he was saying that It was the easiest one to control that lance I'm strong when he finally realized when he was spitting blood and his lungs and all that shit that

At least that was the easiest one to control. So my thoughts and prayers are done control So he's doing fine. And I'm gonna thank you motherfuckers twitter facebook or you guys You guys have made that squad have the best year of our lives It's because of you, you know, you guys always talk about oh, thank you for inspiring us and blah, blah, blah You motherfuckers inspire this shit out of me in the morning because I got to be on top of my fucking game On a daily I got to come out with a joke for you or something You got to scratch your pussy got a finger bang your own ass though Put a firecracker in your pussy and call the chick next door

Something you got to come up with something for you cocks up as you know, but it's monday bitches And it's funny because every week I like to do a movie or Music or something and me and lee were talking and I got an email that was really interesting for wait Wait, wait, let me give some shout outs here because I know I you love I love you motherfuckers always Warren gifford over in Dublin island. I love you motherfuckers the sea project Uh, where's my man steve Steven a la wishes for making this fucking poster and I always give love to the main artist out there mike maxwell MB leaf girl with those sexy fucking feet and one salazar

josh silver Izzy rock. I hear you cocksucker Darren haddock Rice Crawford mark hard tank Sanchez got a hard on for life one of the best fucking tweets I've read all fucking year are hard on for life motherfuckers ever since he's listening to the church And that's how you have to you have to get a hard on to wake up in the morning. That's a beauty I've never fucking thought about it that way some guys wake up in the morning Turned over fuck you when I wake up in the morning. I got a hard on for fucking life

I want I wish there was somebody in the shower. It's like a fucking stab him in there. You know That's how you supposed to wake up in the morning hit me. I'm all fired up a little trampled underfoot Led Zeppelin physically graffiti one of the finest fucking albums put out there We're gonna have to cover one of these days every time I hit his song. I want to go out there and stab somebody hit me Lee Oh shit Oh shit Talking about love oh shit crank a leak Oh

If the world ends on Friday, do you live it? Did you accomplish your fucking mission? Probably not. Did you accomplish your mission? Sure you did. You got a nice smile. You love your mother You're a nice person. You're not in fucking prison All of you say it's four days fucking left that you accomplished your mission. Did you read all the books just in case? Just in fucking case Now because you grew up religious. Yeah, you get nervous at all because a lot of religious stuff talks about that Listen, bro. The only religion I believe in is rob supermarket Even though the ropes they don't fuck around. They always want their cash, don't they?

They give you a couple dollars off here if you got a rob's card and coupons and points if you get gas and golf fucking No, I believe in a lot of religions. That's not do religious Let's do a belief am I believe in the Mayans and all this? I don't fucking know But if it does i'm prepared we're on a mission. That's it. We're fucking done. We did it I don't think the world's gonna and I think the things are gonna change If you see boats been going on the last couple years van haven I see you bad motherfucking if you see and the turk Ali for Ron whatever his fucking name is. I see you too. Cut suck on there

If you see the way things are going you got to ask yourself a few questions from sandy To this thing that happened in connecticut to the thing, you know, all these long in the presence said last night There's the fourth time he's had to go to it. I couldn't figure out which which Something's got to break somewhere along the line and again, maybe they're gonna put security in theaters and then more They're gonna have to I was talking to my mom because right I had to call my mom and I because I just knew she would be a she's a school teacher No, no, no, she just she's just my mom and I just knew let's use as soon as she picked up the phone She was already crying you gotta have that, you know, you have to have empathy and you know

When you called the other day you surprised how I mean, how's your wife taking it? And it's something that you sit there and I don't want to talk about this shit on the podcast But you have to because it's it's what we do. We're interpreting what's going on socially, you know, and uh I don't like to hear about this shit. There's a lot of shit could tolerate We're like my wife likes watching low and order svu. I can't stand that shit. I can't stand rape I don't want to hear about in the world. I live in I want to make believe that that kind of shit doesn't exist You know in the world with this stuff, you know And people want to blame guns right away. Let me tell you something

Do you know that from the ages of seven to about 11 Lee? I had guns around me at all times You know that had a stepfather at night like I never talked about on testicle testaments I cover one but I never really get deep deep deep into one one wasn't a One was not a weapons freak like you see these idiots. First off one shot motherfuckers. I seen him shoot I actually saw one shoot somebody when I was eight on 148th street between Broadway and Riverside I seen him shoot a guy in a leg one time. I knew one's temp I seen a smack people twice. I seen him bit slap somebody. I seen him pull a fucking gun on people I saw a one puller his weapon of choice was a fucking knife anyway

He was a knife type of guy anyway He used to carry these wooden knives these wooden case knives called 007 in the 70s It had to be six seven fucking inches and he carried a straight razor when I used to go to one as a kid Hey, I can't sleep. He would give me a gun with a silencer And I would go upstairs and I would never even touch the trigger I'm sure there weren't bullets in it But I would sleep at night with a gun with a silencer next to me You know guys I was fucking disturbed when my mother died when everything that happened to me after Dominic speciale

I've died and fucking Anthony Balzano died dog. My head was somewhere else. I hated life I hate I wanted to get back at God But I never thought of taking innocent people with me I would never think of anything like that. So please stop saying this gun control shit. I had guns all over me growing up I had guns all over me growing up guys I had alcohol. I don't drink today Like I can't stand the fucking drink the taste when I was doing blow. I would drink I had booze around me. My mother had a bar. We had a downstairs in the basement

So every fucking bottle that came into the bar. We got one for the house You follow me? So there was all those bottles in the house till this day I don't fucking drink I think sometimes when they put stuff out there in front of you and you become accessible to it You don't want it later on. Oh, yeah, that always happens My mother also did drugs and I ended up doing drugs because sure my hero did fucking drugs Elvis was a hero you know So I got

From my point of view, that's how I think about a lot of people don't know I was surrounded with fucking pieces Juan had a piece everywhere he went So let's say Juan came over here to visit you every day In that flower patch. He would have a 45 out there Just in case Just in case If he went to your father's house to Dixayat in Florida cocksucker eating chocolate chip cookies We're gonna see you for February

If he uh went to your father's house, he would give your father a gun to hold Let's say your father was a decent guy a mailman without a police record That's the kind of shit this motherfucker would do Yeah, not to play devil's advocate like this like just for example the same day Some guy in china went into a school and he stabbed 20 kids But there's gun laws are stricter there. So no one died. They just got stabbed because he couldn't get a gun Do you think maybe could is it possible that the reason why you like that you never did that was because

You you had them around you but you not only had them around you but you you respected them and you saw what they did Like this kid his mom had the guns, but he I'm sure he never saw someone get shot before It's uh, you know, you can't I'm a psychiatrist. I just whenever I see these situations. I think of my fucking life I see how I was surrounded with these weapons and I doubt what happened to me I come you know, there was a time when I I wanted shit to fucking end But I never thought of it. I'd never I don't know and then when my mother died living bobby bender And he was a cop that was always pieces in the fucking house and I always had a piece close fucking by you know Uh, it's just really weird and it's a goddamn shame that happened and it had to happen this time of the year

You know, I hate this time of the year and I tell people When you've had a lot of shit as a kid or whatever if you had a lot of kid a shit a lot of time You know something if you had a marriage and you found your husband or another woman around the holidays You always tend to hate the holidays a lot of people. I don't hate the holidays I just feel that it's a lot of unnecessary pressure for a lot of people It really is some people are broke some people don't have a family. You know, it's a lot of unnecessary pressure And man, I've been there. I felt fucking horrible some holidays. I was by myself. You know, I felt fucking Horrible because your mom died in November November. So yeah, you know what people made it better

Whatever you're feeling bad Go to your friend's house in the holidays There's no animosity in the house. There's nobody's watching if you showed up with gifts If people are real and if you have real friends Christmas isn't about presidents or how big the fucking president is or the bottle you're bringing over what clothes you got And it's just hanging out together man. I tell people that all the time, you know, I wish you were here for Christmas You can hang out Christmas Eve if you like. I'm one of those guys You know that uh, Christmas isn't about

You know, uh, jimmy berkel called here one time and we told the story about kentucky. I told the stupid story about kentucky I was really high and I used to go up there and rob lobster tails and I remember Christmas I'd have like three lobster tails Salami from oscar maya. We made it work, bro. What we had. Yeah, you make it work You got a couple steaks a couple lobsters tails and you cut them up like fucking benihana like a mexican benihana Went to benihana. Yeah, they fucking delicious Took my wife there for the lunch special like a mutt fucking delicious Uh, I love them. I love benihana another japanese into fucking joint. Oh, really notice that they're all mexicans

They only have a japanese hostess and she's hot everybody else is fucking man The guy don't even know his name like he's mexican. His name is wang But when you say wang, you don't react to you You react to like mario mario, huh? No, no, it's wang. You're fucking mexican. Stop it I see the scott's tape on your eyes cocks sucker. Oh my god It's monday the 17th and you know what the best thing is lee what they can't fucking stop you If you got a dream today, whatever the fuck you want to do you want to quit smoking? You want to they cannot stop you think I can tell this to people

I told you I don't know if you know this I haven't been smoking reef I've been smoking the vapor pen and I eat edibles like a motherfucker. I got stoned again last night Oh my god, I went to the laugh factory driving on the 710. I don't even know how I made it I was I was driving like lee. I was doing 30 and the fucking off ramp. You know what I'm saying? I was fucking high last night lee and I love it I'm trying to save my lungs a little folks a little vapor pen a little fucking edible here and there today's monday I gotta go to an audition. I gotta go skip bang on the way back. I'll probably stop And get a bang by a lady who owns an edible company a good one calling up on fucking wednesday

Tell us about yeah. Yeah, I met her over at this At they had like a tupperware type thing this weeds at divine wellness by the way people If you go to divine wellness on Lancashire and you buy a fucking bang chocolate bar and you tell them I need a beauty in the beach shirt They've got some vintage beauty in the beach shirts go over to divine wellness And get your beauty in the beach shirt. Tell them joey d sent you or if you go to no organic And you get a fucking vapor pan or a vapor tube or a joint or a lollipop But whatever the fuck they're selling that day and you tell them joey d sent you

They too have a beauty in the beast commemorative collective edition shirt Who's better than fucking uncle joey always thinking that you cock suckers. He's Girl scott cookies. I'm gonna have to switch this motherfucker up just to uh A blue dream to that's how I'm feeling Lee, you know zan And I want you motherfuckers to have a beautiful day out today too, man Yeah, so we got all the bad shit out of the way the kids dunking. Look at my fucking cats They're waiting for my wife the doctor told my wife to make sure she had everything done this weekend Oh, you think so you told you told me I asked you about friday me like oh, it's gonna happen this week

I'm gonna happen this week. I'm very happy for my wife. I'm starting to get adjusted to it Yeah, I was scared for a couple weeks and I gotta tell you sometimes when I drive I just pull over and cry man. I think about my wife. Really? Yeah, I'm worried about my wife and all this man I don't know if I can handle Seeing my wife sweating with blood coming out of fucking monkey and shit. I don't think I can handle that I love this woman too much. I love my little white woman dog Love my wife. Love my little irish broaddog. I noticed it this morning because I mean Usually when we do the podcast you're getting ready, but like for a while you even a little bit nervous

Like I mean, obviously you're you have a kid coming sure but today you were joking around with her So I think I think it's finally hitting you that it's just it's gonna happen and it's You might as well enjoy it Listen, man, uh You know, I worry about my friends. I worry about you. I worry about dunking I worry that's why I want, you know, I usually You know, you can only worry so much. I'm not one of these fake guys. I has to post it on facebook and oh my god and

You don't have to do none of that shit, you know You call people you go down there you talk to them. I worry about all my friends. I worry about felicia I worry about roguin. I worry about You know, if I am I always yell at you mother fuckers I always got something to say about you guys about staying out late or Drinking and driving. I really do because it's the truth. I know how fast life changes when you've lost a friend Uh, you can't bring them the fuck back, you know, you never want to go visit your friend at the hospital in this lifetime You never want to go to a fucking funeral visit your friend on a casket. You just don't yeah

You just fucking don't man life is too fucked. You just don't you know, so I worry about all years. I went down and we went to breakfast with dunking like And I bust his balls and uh because you know, listen, man when people got cancer any sickness They don't want people playing fucking if you're sick Lee you want people coming over with that puppy looking on their face We're fucking priests showing up and singing christian songs Fuck no, Lee. You want people to come over and look at you and say, what's up, dog? You want to do a bumper coke? You want me to get a chick down here to suck that other nut out of your fucking pee hole?

You know the chick to suck your ass or you're on yet, you know, whatever man You know, you want to take that mind away from the people fucking nervous Yeah, and it's your friends who come in to save you because they have to put a tough face on You know, they they come into a place and they see you tied up with tubes or whatever the fuck you're tied up with They don't deserve to see that You know, one of the real reasons I got off a blow wasn't because oh, I wanted to be healthy I wanted to prove a point or whatever because I never wanted my wife to pick me up off the fucking floor I never I wanted can you imagine this sweet girl coming out to get a donut one night and

There I am on the floor green with my fucking arm green nobody needs that life If I'm gonna go out we're all gonna fucking die But I don't expect you know what I'm saying Yeah, I don't I don't want this this horror show to ever last to somebody else's life And sometimes a lot of people have a death wish to get back as a fuck that shit live your fucking life It's a beautiful motherfucking day to be alive. Is it the call? We got one. We got something coming in What's up, baby? Hey, Joey, how you doing good? How are you my friend?

I'm good. I'm good talk to me. How are you talk to me cocksucker? What's going on in your world? Well, um Still depressed about this thing that happened friday to be completely honest with you, okay That's uh, kind of a bad deal, but uh, then also from duncan Uh, about particular cancer. That's uh That's a it's a big deal in my world as well You know at his home just because we're trying to get the word out as best we can

Now tell these people who you are and what you do start from the beginning tarzan Okay, uh, jeremy. I'm in southwest missouri started a charity called ballcancer sucks.com We are raising awareness for Testicular cancer that's the idea. We sell funny shirts So it makes it lighthearted We want people to realize Testicular cancer talking about it or telling your buddies to make sure they get checked or but your Wife or girlfriend tells you you do it once a month because it's important. Um

Testicular cancer has almost a hundred percent survivability if you catch it stage one Um, it needs to be check once a month every month And if you feel anything abnormal in your ball sack you call your doctor and you go get checked out There's nothing wrong with that. I'm working with a kid who's 17 years old here in my community and he has stage four testicular cancer 17 He's been taking chemotherapy having surgery and radiation for almost a year now And the sad thing is if he would caught it in stage one, it wouldn't have been an issue It would be a hiccup in his world and then he would move on and he would remember it

But it wouldn't be as traumatic or like changing an event as it is now because it was it waited so long to get found Um Men out there being sure you you do your duty and and check yourself There'll be one man today that will die from testicular cancer in the united states alone There'll be almost 9,000 new cases this year of testicular cancer I bet you if you ask Duncan uh Six months ago or even three weeks ago testicular cancer wasn't even on his radar

But he did the right thing. He felt something abnormal and he went to see the doctor and you know that they're taking care of the situation Then he's taking it day by day and And hopefully everything works out well for him. Well, he got the blood test. I spoke to him We've been I've been monitoring him since uh Thursday or Wednesday because I gotta tell you something Jeremy I was having dinner or lunch and he called me. You know, you're involved in your world And he called me and I said, I'll call you tonight. We'll do the podcast and he goes. Oh, by the way I have cancer in my nuts and I laughed I laughed with him. We giggled and I said, I'll call you back An hour later I go, what the fuck did he just say to me?

Like it was one of those things we're like, what the and I called him back and he goes. Yeah, I went to your doctor and He said I had to go get checked out and and right away. Uh, Jeremy, I swear to my mother I thought of you I and then when we went to eat breakfast Thursday morning, I said listen After this whole thing's over with I'm gonna connect you with my buddy from ball cancer You guys got to talk about this and two days later you were on top of it. So I just wanted you to call and really explain the people the process Yeah, yeah, I mean guys, it's simple. Um

It sounds a little goofy and you're gonna smile and you're gonna chuckle or say what's this guy talking about But in the showers the best time I've I have to set a reminder for myself and I'm I deal with testicular cancer issues every day Either researching or posting up on my blog or information. It's uh, Just feel around. I mean it it's goofy as it sounds. Do you think oh, yeah, I'll I'll know if I've got cancer in my balls No, no you feel around. It's if it's something abnormal like you've got Feels like a bb underneath the skin That's that's the first telltale sign that that's what most

Testicular cancer is is found Uh, other you know, if you have a sore ball, okay So maybe he hit it on something or he sat down on a wrong, but if it persists you gotta go see your doctor it you're not gonna Be thought of as less of a man if you go to your doctor and say hey, can you check out my balls? I got standing here something wrong Jeremy a couple not to interrupt you Jeremy a couple fucking years ago probably seven eight years ago

I was fooling around my wife and uh, there's a true story I was fooling around my wife like five in the morning And we turned on the lights and there was blood everywhere and I usually don't tell this story And it had come in my nutsack like it was come mixed with dark blood And I mean I went right up to the fucking 830 doctor the next day And the doctor said that maybe you sat on it or something. He gave me a test and that was fine Uh, but I even me who's a big time pussy of doctors Whatever you even after I started communicating with you on the sponsorship level. I went a few times in those

Three or four months that we were talking for three or four every time I go to doctor I think of you so and I get the finger in the ass and you said it's about women What besides the breast cancer can women get Something down below also. I mean i'm not really uh I'm not very certain about that that's that's how I we got involved though is October of 2011 just sit around with my friends watching a football game and they're every football player had pink on Pink shoes pink socks pink gloves pink towels and you know, it's the breast cancer awareness Issue with all the pink is really powerful and we thought you know, what what about us? There's there's we always joke about our balls and all that and then

There's got to be something that needs to be done and sure enough, you know, there are a few Charities out there that are working with raising awareness for testicular cancer And we are not in that competitive nature with them whatsoever We we prefer to work with them and make as long as somebody's getting The money to help raise their awareness. That's what we're looking for because you got to check your balls I said a reminder once a month to make sure I do it and like I was saying I'm involved in this every day I said a reminder you check them out yourself and you go to a doctor once a month I check on myself once a month in the shower the best way

You know, you get them all hot and sweaty and they hang down you can get the best feel for them Uh, you reach around feel on there See if you can feel anything abnormal Abnormal lump feels like a bb really sore something then if there's anything that strikes you as odd You go to your doctor Is that pain your normal checkup or you go to the doctor go have him say hey, can you check this out for me? Is that pain Jeremy? The other can be sometimes it can be painless. Um, but that's that's the nature of the beast though

Um, the the 17 year old kid stage four it didn't start hurting until stage four. He had a lower back issue So he's had his lymph nodes removed He's had one testicular moved and they're working on his liver right now I mean it it's it means 17 years old He has whole life to live and all because he didn't know to check He didn't check his balls I mean he would have checked them sooner He would have caught it sooner and then there would be less issues and that's I mean, that's all we're asking

You know, it's tell your wife or mind you tell your wife to check it for you I mean, doesn't doesn't make any difference as long as you're doing it and I'm gonna tell you some it's crazy But in the last year I've met two comics Duncan and my friend Justin Claude dill a comic a great kid him and his mother What the fuck was her name now karma came to one of my shows and I had been talking with him on the uh On facebook so guys in in one year. I've met two people Who've had the nut cancer so this is fucking serious

And what they were saying what Duncan was saying it was that didn't spread You know that even if it were to spread into his lungs or something It's a cancer that's very treatable He was talking about Lance Armstrong that when Lance Armstrong Found out he was bleeding from his mouth like he was spitting up blood and lungs And uh, they still took care of of his uh situation So it's no fucking taboo correct Jeremy. I mean, there's nothing fucking wrong what happens every goddamn day. No Check it check check it and yeah, and you're saying it is super treatable especially stage one. I mean there's

It's super easy to treat and as the stages progress obviously it spreads to more but it is A very treatable disease that you can get If you're the one who's going to be the first line of defense as long as you're checking yourself then then you're going to be Uh, feel confident that you you know that you're checking once a month every month and then you know if there's something abnormal Just go see your doctor. I mean that they're the they're the best I And they'll know exactly like no no, sorry, you know, there's there's nothing there or yeah Let's go get this checked out just just to be on safe side And then you'll feel confident knowing that you've checked once a month every month and it's it's it's a no-brainer

um, so, you know and Tell somebody else about it too just spread the word because it can it can be a life-changing event If you aren't diligent and check every month. I mean Duncan lesson got it got checked or and you know felt something abnormal got checked And he's gonna be fine But there are people like I said earlier one man today will die from just good cancer in the united states And what's your web page and your information over there? Let the people know about your web page and the t-shirts. Let them know everything Jeremy I don't want no I don't want nobody else in the church having this problem ever fucking again

Okay, joy, there you go to uh ball cancer sucks.com. We got shirts there men's and women's shirts Um, they're funny. They're they're made to create a dialogue if somebody looks at smiles. They'll think about it that that's what we want, you know, I'm here in the midwest and and Talking about ball cancers a little taboo. Well, we we try to Flip that on edge and make it funny Um, they're not really that edgy. They're just just funny just just to make somebody smile I'll tell you every time I wear one of my ball cancer shirt sucks shirts out in public Uh people always smile always get a comment or hey, what's that say on the back? And

You know, we've we've got lots of different designs and we're all super comfortable shirts and and you know, I've said joey Um, I said joe rogan a couple so guys If you want to support us ball cancer sucks.com check it out. We've got shirts. We shoot them out every day um And and get the awareness out there so that so just like joy said nobody else I have to suffer from this And they get it caught early and get it dealt with and they can be like duncan and and We look happy fulfilled life and not have to continually go through situations because of ball cancer

And if you get it caught early, what's the recovery period that you've heard new people have to get chemo? Is there just a surgery? I mean Usually a surgery they're gonna go in they're gonna remove the cancer testicle Um, and there's nothing wrong with that. You can still have kids. Uh, it's it's not an issue I was posted an article to my blog the other day Um about a guy in england who had testicular cancer. He caught it four times and it's absurd That's that's like getting struck by lightning twice. I mean, it's just just something that doesn't happen But he's still able to have kids after that

Because they were small tumors in his testicle after he had his first one removed They went and removing the tumors from his testicle the one that he had left and he was still able to have kids Um, so so don't worry about something like that that you're still gonna be a man If you have one ball it doesn't matter at least you're gonna be alive to talk about it And you know like I was talking about last night Can you imagine if they had like uh, and you know, uh, Duncan I was just telling my the flying Jew my main man, Lisa. Yeah, he's also in studio that I called Duncan last night We were laughing our fucking asses off because I got asked him that did you get your dick sucked yet?

and You know I go to go for a blow job because I go I would love to have a fake testicle that you could put in and take out You know, he said that there's only one that you could put in but wouldn't it be great if some chick is sucking your fucking shaft And you pop that fucking nut out in the air like a fucking And she's like what happened nothing you sucked my nut out. That's how good you are. Can you imagine but you can't get those So just to add some light on it, man. That's very funny. You know what happened with me You know, I got big nuts naturally And uh about three years ago. I have something happening that I'm taking this shit or something. I'm playing with my nuts

I'm screen on so that's what also you could feel your nuts Listen, you have to catch this boy and don't say once a month of these guys, Jeremy When you wash if you wash in if you take two showers a day You wash those nuts good and you squeeze those motherfuckers in the shower and finger bang your asshole that whole area You'll see if there's a lump on there of pain Don't say once a month if you wash those balls, you'll be on top of it because you'll say fuck This lump wasn't here yesterday. Am I lying to you, Jeremy? No, you're telling the truth, Joey. What the fuck? So when you wash your nuts on a daily check those motherfuckers

They're your lifeline. You don't ever want to go life without fucking your nuts or whatever So I ever since I've made came contact with you. I check my nuts every day and every time I go to doctor I just show it to him just take a look doc sniff these motherfuckers Feel him around put them in your mouth do something earn that degree you fuck It's a buck 20 a fucking house call for 40 I can have a black chick with a missing eye suck my dick and he give her a bazooka bubble gum or some shit But I thought I thought I had a No, I thought I had a I thought I had the nut cancer and I was watching tv one night and uh

They were on there talking about and they said that no that every man Has one nut bigger than the other one because it reflects whether he's a righty or a lefty How fucked up is it? That's a true story when I went on uh On a alex jones for a long time I thought I had a chair of me and I wasn't going to this how much of a pussy I was at the time I'm like, I'm not gonna say nothing I'm not gonna say I would look at my balls at night. I'd see the veins in there and I go. I'm telling you This this ball looks veiny on the right side here

And one night I'm watching discovery and they're talking about the human body and men and they're like Facts that men don't know is that the the fucking right nut is bigger than the left nut If whatever if you're a lefty, then you're left much bigger. Anyway, who gives a fuck, you know, I'm saying I'm just yeah Yeah, there's gonna be variants in size for sure But if you notice one I mean, you know which one's bigger or which one's smaller on on yourself And if you notice the change in that you the changes in the testicles, I mean you've been around your boys your whole life So you know

What what to expect from them and if something's different that that's the the first red flag you start investigating Now, uh, let me okay. Yeah, sometimes your balls get sore so so if they're sore for a day That's the one thing but if they're continually sore you got to go to the doctor Got to go get that checked out. Would it hurt anywhere else down there? Well, like you like your helmet shaft like around the shaft would that hurt At all well, I there is penile cancer You you can get penile cancer, but uh, we we specialize just in the balls because that's the most common one It's the highest it's fastest raising cancer and men 18 to 34. Um, that's the general numbers, but but as

More research that I've done and get involved with more people But then you start telling the kids whenever they hit puberty Um, what one thing is that they've noticed is the undescended testicle as a child You know, I come in and have surgery just so that ball drops into the back. All right Well, that is a precursor to testicular cancer The the kids that are have undescended testicles if you had undescended testicles a kid You need to be checking every day like Joey said for sure without a doubt because you are the highest risk One of those again, what are undetected testicles is your your ball didn't drop out of your lower abdomen whenever you're a little boy

So it doesn't drop into your ball sack. So you'll have one ball in there. The other one's stuck up inside of you From wherever you're being born. Um, they don't drop right. Well, and then that's not an uncommon issue Uh, and there's a real simple surgery that they go in and they they make a little more room and they get the ball down in the back All right. Well, the issue is that those are People who had undescended testicles are a higher risk of testicular cancer So though if you had that as a kid, there's nothing to be ashamed about it's not a problem But you need to be diligent and checking, you know, just like Joey said, he was being a pussy about not going to the doctor Well, that's that's not an option. So don't he knows better than that now

And he hopefully you guys hearing this right now will make you rethink that decision to be a pussy They know what? I'm gonna go to the doctor. I'm gonna get checked out It's not worth losing a ball for it's not worth having my life flipped on and for You know, I had Jeremy, you know, I had sag Level one insurance, which is like basically going into the hospital Taking your clothes off and say somebody sucked my dick That's how good that insurance was and I've had it ever since 1997 When I got the first Taco Bell commercial with the dog when I first moved here that was my first, uh

Claimed the fame I booked the first one made a ton of money And do you know I didn't actually go to the doctor on that insurance till maybe 2003 Like I was petrified. Wow and over the years like this year alone, Jeremy honest I've probably taken eight blood tests. That's more blood tests. I took from the age of 15 To fucking 40. I don't even think I took a blood test I didn't I wouldn't go to the doctor. I would not go to the doctor if it came to needles Fuck you. I just got my blood taken out and I got to go again next Monday to wax it again taken out So if I could do this guys

Please do and now I'm Jeremy because I swear to god I just went to the doctor the other day and I have this uh fun guy on my skin from my, uh, you know I have really sensitive skin But I went to the doctor because I started rubbing my nuts too much It was getting itchy down there and right when I was there I showed him the rest and I go doc take a look at the nuts. I got any cancer in there And he even giggled he goes now everybody's doing it So please if I'm a fucking pussy and I go you gotta go go get it checked out any other lumps any way you should be looking for doc

Well, we're looking for balls. That's you and you guys you gotta be diligent about it too I mean it's it's gonna be the size of a baby. So it's gonna be but it's gonna be hard You'll notice, you know, your balls a little squishy you squish too hard and it hurts But if you notice a baby sized Lump or mass or anything that's hard a hardened part of your balls Then you need to go to the doctor you need to get a shower dry off call your doctor and make an appointment I mean that that is a serious sign So, you know, Joey said every day in the shower just because you're watching them feel them

I mean it can take 30 seconds. That's it. And what's 30 seconds for the rest of your life? I mean, it's it really can change your life if you catch it early. So Joey, I appreciate your brother. Thank you for all the thank you once Duncan told me I thought of you and uh I'm gonna exchange numbers with you guys and I love you and thank you. What's the web page they go to? The ball cancer sucks calm and get a shirt donate a dollar do whatever the fuck you need to do You get what what do you guys you don't you guys don't have pink ribbons. You got like fucking big black ribbons with One fucking Color for ball cancer is periwinkle, but we don't uh, we don't put many ribbons on there because nobody knows what the colors are

Except for what's fucking periwinkle. What's that like a green or something like that? Yeah No, it's a it's a purpley pink color. No, no, you don't want to put that You want to put some big black fucking nuts with an eye on it? You know what I'm saying? Just so we know what the fuck you're doing brother. Thank you. Merry christmas. Happy holidays to your family Absolutely. Thank you very much for taking the time. I know it's early in the mother fucking show me state brother stay black All right. Thanks, man. Bye. Bye This is what i'm talking about people you got to take care of yourself. You got to take care of your nuts That's what you know before I was fucking around with omnit

I was going on other websites and buying different products And i'm a big protein guy because I know we don't need enough protein you need 150 grams of protein to really grow muscles and recover and And uh, and that's why I like the omnit products, you know, I always tell people that when I got the knee surgery I brought protein powder from gnc, which I really did The 60 dollar fucking thing from gnc and I did leg squats and that's how I got my white pregnant You know, so the protein powders work. Uh, take care of yourself people, you know I don't give a fuck if you're a fat fuck. I'm a fat fuck

But I try to be healthy. I try to do something good for myself every day an apple You know, you want a sandwich you want a donut? Go get two of those fucking crunchy fucking apples, man You'll shit nice the next morning. You know, at least I'm drinking soda It takes one step at a time to get healthy and I'll tell you guys i'm the biggest fucking pussy in the world And I do it. I do it. You know why for you guys, so I don't let you motherfuckers down. I mean You don't let me down. I don't let you down I don't want to read on twitter. I want to use a sec or whatever That's how I became friends with my friend. That's how I became friends with Justin Cordell

You know, he told me had the nut cancer blah blah blah blah blah blah So all we could do is tell you motherfuckers to take care of yourself. That's it. That's it That's it. You go for what the fuck you want to do and you take care of yourself because all you got is you and that's Lee, I swear to god, I wouldn't go to the doctor at all at all I would have fucked up teeth and I was ripping them out with a with a multiplier I had done I got no fucking teeth in the back that thing. That's missing. That's a wrench in the hotel room as a comic Really trying to rub cocaine on it and getting infected getting a fucking

Thing that you're squeezing pus comes out. You have no fucking idea how scared I was now Now because I got the general who fucking drives me to My wife will drive me, but it's fucking crazy. I was driving myself to the blood test the other day and I'm like, Jesus fucking christ 10 years ago, I wouldn't have gone to no fucking blood test I'm like somebody had to follow me in a car or a cop had to come with me or some shit So I understand or maybe you don't have fucking insurance. It's no excuse, man Obamacare's in full effect. There's there's Anybody who'll give you a fucking blood test. So please just take care of yourself a little bit today

You know what drink water today tomorrow don't eat bread Wednesday. Take a walk around the block. It's that fucking easy That's how easy it is. I'm a fat fuck dog I'm a fat. You know what I feel I feel like some fucking musically Can you play a little fucking hechtel of all? For a uncle joey today a little something Spanish for these motherfuckers today because something's in the air You know what I'm saying? I don't know if Burke Christ is gonna call. I'd like for that motherfucker to call Let me give him a call just to get you guys some flavor His podcast was number one for like a fucking year on there. Did you see that last week?

I did do you like aguinali? Is that a good song? What's that? Aguinali? What is it? Aguinali No, no, no todo tiene su finale to do ti any As you as you It was funny watching you forget what you're smelling. You better call cocksucker These people these people are waiting for you. You better call me cocksucker Yeah, I text you the number this morning

Yeah, call in five minutes. We'll be ready for you Speed it up a little bit to the middle of the shit there so we can really get down Speed it up to the middle there with the maracas and the Puerto Rican. You know those dances are non union until amundo, right? Those motherfuckers don't even stop for water Here we go kick it Oh shit Oh shit Hector for the Puerto Ricans out there Oh

This is Eddie Tom Mary on the piano But usually it would be the fucking real jew larry harlow and lio on salsa. You understand me? That's how we do it here. We give you white music. We give you salsa on monday We give you birth christ and birth crisis podcast was number one for like a fucking month I like to it's right. I can people can't pick me up. I'm doing it. That was crazy. I don't remember the conversation I don't remember nothing. All I remember is being fucked up on edibles It was Thanksgiving day of the day after Thanksgiving Yeah, it was a day after Thanksgiving and I could hear it in your voice because i'm used to it

But it was just you were just sitting there and like you forgot you were talking, you know, I was dying laughing dog I I'm those edibles. I get fucked up dog. I really do. I love it I like I love to get high with you people and try to fucking write different shit and get crazy You know and you'd like torturing people like I mean his father is nice But he's like a he's like a whiter guy and yeah, I think you just like because you do it to me You call me up and you just torture me and you think I think it's like how you get your rocks off or something You love it. Let me tell you something. There's no torture when I talk to you. You know, I love you the fucking no And I do listen the other day my man ollie boss down in australia

One of the original motherfuckers has been around for a while Said to me that he loves and i'm giving you street smarts I thought about that. I go, you know what? It's not street smarts. It's it's There's no such thing as fucking street smart street smarts. Just a little common sense and mixed with ball sprinkled with balls That's what it's overrated and you're such a sweetheart of a fucking guy I don't mean to break your balls or whatever, but I have to because you know I don't want you at a bar jumping up and down fucking doing when you got to be slinging dick in the back Friday's a big moment for you. We're going to have a chick fart in your face

Now you don't understand the principles of this movie. We're going to tape the chick coming in backing up She's going to suck your dick a little bit and then she's going to blow a fart in your face We're not going to show the fart. We're going to tape it We're going to slow it down like you see the UFC last week when they would punch each other and they'd see the sweat and the eyeballs That's how it's going to be. We're going to see the particles coming out of her ass hitting in the face Uh, the last guy she fought in their face went down. He didn't get knocked out. He just went down We'll take pictures of you on the floor holding onto your face. She has a record Ah, ah, right because you'll be yelling because after they fart in your face and then

We're going to tape all that stuff and then we're going to put it on youtube and then we're going to sell you a pay-per-view event You know how many people will pay 20 dollars to see A chick and we're going to have two chicks. We're going to have a chick with a big fucking ass They like a bunch of wings and nachos from taco bell the whole fucking deal coming far in your face We're also going to get like a chick that weighs one or three. What are you looking at me all upset about you? I'm saying this is a party for you. Wait Oh, I don't I don't what I have to do I'm mumbling you're stumbling like fucking

Yeah, I can't be healing in that scene. You know what I'm saying? I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm you're worse than fucking moves That's why I love you but you know, you just take the fart to the face like a soldier So what you have an eyepatch whatever we'll make sure she has insurance if you want to sue her She might want to fucking sue her for farting your face And then you go back by next summer you should be a millionaire them with the t-shirts come far in my face Do I have a picture you would have fucked up nostril? You know, you know, maybe she'll cave your fucking nostril in really you have all you have the world by the balls Let me tell you some people you all have the motherfucking world by the balls, especially today. What the fuck?

What the fuck are you even like I'm not busting your balls. You're gonna be a millionaire for letting some chick fart in your face Who's better than you? Yeah, I know and you get 10% of it. I'm easily I'm easily 10% I should be getting 20 just because I'm in that fucking union, but I'm gonna look for 10 What am I you make two million I make 200,000. That's not you're getting your dick stuck them believes I'm paying fucking 100,000 on taxes. You follow me So what's a measly 10% measly How dare I how day that's right. You're fucking cocksucker. You know, it's funny because every week I either play uh, Is that my man?

What's up, buddy You bad motherfucking you. How are you my friend? Yo, you know me over here doing the church or what's happening now thinking about you. Where are you? Yeah, I remember I'm so glad you called me because uh I literally was about to oversleep and miss my flight. See what I'm saying. What time is your flight in? I'm supposed to get supposed to get a card and like in like 30 minutes. I was sound asleep. I got so hammered last night Oh my god, Joey. You got hammered last night. I'm gonna shot Oh, I took a shot. I had a scorpion in it

I thought it was scorpion in it Yeah, a scorpion like a straight up scorpion I said in the way I go I had to say you want a scorpion shot. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah And then they pull out a score like a bait a tackle box and she pulled the scorpion out of it And I go, oh, it's got a scorpion in it. She's like, yeah I was like, I thought it didn't know that's what it was called because yeah, scorpion's not like where do you get the scorpion? this bitch goes

Out of a cave I go No, I meant like are they safe? She's like, I don't know if she put in the fucking drink That is correct. What were you Mexico? No, I'm in fucking colorado. Holy shit. That's right. That's right. They don't fuck around. They put everything in your drinks That fucking that scorpion ate the roofie. You know what I'm saying? Joey, I did I was shooting a pilot for travel channel And I went one morning you go to this bar that's three lions and they're like, uh

We're going to watch the british people play soccer You know, like the it's all brits in this bar. There's all soccer fans I'm not a soccer fan. So I don't know fucking thing about it But we get there early in the morning and the guy goes This brick goes, would you like a brook? And I was like, what's a brook? And he goes, it's a beer With a bit of egg in it I was like, what?

Because it's like a beer with a bit of egg. It's a morning beer. It's like a morning beer. I was like So, yeah, do you need one of brook? Joey, they crack a fucking raw egg in a beer And just you drink it I'll tell you that'll get you on point though. That's what you need this morning, cocksucker A fucking beer you need a beer with an egg in it some bacon a steak some potatoes A fuck some hemorrhoid accident, you know, the whole fucking deal Thank you for putting on your fucking rocky. Thank you for putting me on your podcast. That thing is a fucking monster. You know what I'm saying? Well, dude, that was that was the best the best is uh,

I told you this last night, but some kid That's like the young comic that i'm working with in jember. He goes, uh He's listening to your first car podcast. Who uh, who who played joey? So what? He goes, who does the joke? Who is the joey guy? I said joey. He was he the real person I said, yeah, he's a real person. He goes shut up. I said, yeah, he goes But how did you meet him? I mean, he's a comedian. He goes, I could see him do stand-up I was like, they could see him do stand-up. He's fucking hilarious. He goes I put up like a cat. I think you had an actor doing that guy. I was like, no, he's a fucking person

He fucking lost his mind dude. I've got bigger responses From you on that podcast. You're the reason it comes from me fucking downloads I don't say a fucking word of the entire podcast. You go like, I like your podcast. I go, no, you don't fucking joey I don't you live in church without him now. He does that every fucking day Let me tell you something. It was a treat to meet your father and mother. You have a beautiful fucking family man And your wife and your children are my dad all his buddies all like golf buddies listen to it And they fucking cannot stop telling them You're getting your balls with by nation and your Puerto Rican waiting on the fifth of every month

Oh my god, you're poor father and he's such I mean bird. You're such a lucky guy That's uh, when I met you and I met your family and I put it all together I see where you get it from. It's really nice to see people's family And I love your kids every time I think of my wife having a a little girl. I think of your little daughter That's my all-time favorite. That's my little princess. She's really going to show people what's going on when she gets older God man, it's fucking so I'm talking on the road road for like Two two and a half weeks. I'm coming home today. Okay. It's like I can't fucking wait And how long you're home for buddy

I'm home for a week. I'm home for a week. You're gonna stay home for christmas and everything final Well, yeah, I'm home for christmas and I go to Marko island for new years. Are you are you are you are you? Wait, wait, wait, what are you and Joe doing the uh to edit them to edit a year show to my calendar show That's friday. You're always welcome to stop by That's friday night, but I'm holy come by. I'm holy come by. I want to see that Okay, I'm waiting on uh the birth of my daughter. So that'll be this week. We've already I got no office left I'm doing the podcast in my corner

Like a fucking mook and uh I'm waiting on that. So I'm just here on high alert. I can't even stray Far away. She told me last night. She gave me the orders last night. She doesn't even want me going to like, uh You know our Irvine or anything until she has the kids. So That's fucking man. I'm I'm fucking so excited for you. Joey. You have no idea You have no idea joey. You're perfect for this fatherhood shit Because you're already up at the crack of dawn. You're already gonna be up ready for a fucking baby You got nothing to do a six in the morning other than podcast. You're doing podcast with a baby in your lap

I am I am I am gonna do a podcast with a baby on my fucking lap because I got no choice You know, I love it. And you know what? I'm preparing for it. I'm putting uh, I sleep at any fucking time I can now like last night. I wanted to stay up and I couldn't I knew I was doing this podcast I knew I'm getting ready, you know, I don't know when she's gonna wake me up and tell me her water broke, you know Yeah, you just never fucking me and water broke The ends water broke for isla and I had been drinking and she had to drive She had to drive herself and me to the hospital. So I was fucking hammered Like two in the morning. I was like, hey, I can't drive. She was like, what the fuck? I go, I think she's gonna drive

I'll like chocolate Yeah You're uh, you're a fucking interesting duper Christ. So you're at marco island for new years Down in florals And then you're around all week. So I'll see you somewhere this week. Maybe we'll get together with dunking You know about dunking with a little nut cancer. He got it taken care of. What the fuck? Yeah, it was like a fast I heard his podcast. I listened to his podcast To try to like, you know, like laying in bed. I was like, oh, I'll put on his podcast and kind of chill out

No, he starts it all like, um, I had cancer. I was like, motherfucker He texted me and he said something about it, but I thought he's fucking around. I didn't know he's serious That's what I thought when he hit me with it Yeah, I didn't know he was serious. He was like, yeah, I'm getting a nut cut off. Let's hang out friday. I was like, sure Great. Are you gonna keep it? And he was like, no, I maybe I know he's like, I don't know how it works I was like, I thought he was fucked around. God damn That's fucking crazy. So we got to take care of ourselves That's the most important thing around that age and that's it. So hopefully I'll see you around the neighborhood this week

I can't fucking wait. I I'm always happier when you guys are around. So, uh I'll see you this week. I'll call you. I'll give you a call today. I get in today Later today always coming over always coming over to podcast tonight. We're gonna do a podcast with already Let me know if you want to come by and hang out some man caves. Yeah, I'll come by for sure I'll come by for sure. Absolutely All right, I'll give you a text when like, you know, it's I'm always coming over. All right. Thank you, man Have a great day and a good flight. Thank you for calling All right, brother. I love you. I'll talk to you later, man

All right. All right. So we got a good fucking podcast going today. We got you guys. All right for money. You know, I gotta tell you, man Uh The dunking thing I spoke to Joe sat Saturday morning and I can hear it in his fucking voice And I'm doing his podcast tomorrow, by the way tomorrow afternoon I'm doing the Joe Rogan thing because he's releasing his dvd the one we taped at the Tabernacle Theater Yeah, I saw the Atlanta so he'll be releasing that so please support that But uh, you know, I can hear Joe's and that has me if I'm still smoking

I guarantees and I go you gotta stop and you know, I haven't and and this isn't bullshit I mean we I'm I see you two three times a week. I haven't seen you have one. I don't even smoke I'm done. Once I changed my mind on something. I don't want this happening to me and I don't want to Get sick with a baby in the house. I don't want to get sick with my wife and see you me in the house But I don't need that shit Fucking Monday, this is all what it's all about. It's starting a week off great at this time next week We'll be doing Christmas Eve. My brother Lee is leaving for Boston on Christmas day You know me and Lee been talking we're going back and forth. Are we gonna do some podcasts and save them up?

You know what? I don't know As you could tell we work off the fucking cuff here. We work. We don't know when people gonna call who's gonna call or what's gonna call and So we're gonna do one Wednesday for sure We're doing one Sunday for sure. Okay, we might do one Friday for the 21st But I'd rather leave them with a gambling one and I'll put the two weeks with do dos Santos and football and playoffs and all that Then we'll do one Monday and then we'll leave it and then if not, we'll just do one When you come back on the third we'll do a special Thursday special edition. Okay podcast

And that's it. Fuckin Lee. Listen again I started kickboxing three weeks ago because I put on weight. I put on like eight pounds I was lifting weights and I was that by myself at the ymca And I wanted to try something so for the last couple months. I've been running I've been doing the doce workout on the treadmill, which is a great workout It's like two two minutes of walking and 30 seconds of jogging and my joints would hurt some weeks Like if I did it twice in one week or three times in a week, I would mix it with a bicycle So I would do the bicycle for 40 minutes and I would try to run for like 30 fucking minutes

But I can't lie to you people my knees would hurt and uh, not my calves, but my shins would hurt My hips would hurt not really my hips, but just, you know, your legs, you know, when you you're walking like fucking red fox You know, like there's a goddamn problem, you know, and I uh I got, you know, the call from rb my friend on it and I had already taken the new mood I know I've never taken I took the alpha brain. I gotta tell you when I stopped smoking the cigarettes And the weed it was the first thing alpha brain. I did I can't lie to you the first time I quit smoking reefer physically and went to the vapor It was with the alpha brain. Okay. That's why I went on the uh on the

You know, the whatever the ice house chronicles Instead of you trying to get off a drug to try just try the fucking alpha brain for 30 days If you're trying to get off blow if you're trying to get off weed the cigarettes just to try it That's when I was really impressed with the alpha brain. That's what I had used the alpha brain for Now I take and I really like it after he contacted me that he heard me talking about it And he talked to me about trying the other products I went on the hemp protein because I was still getting the other stuff from bodybuilding.com Which I liked I didn't mind, but I really enjoyed his hemp protein that they have it on it

The thing that changed me the most about on it the thing that really made me a believer I was watching bigger stronger faster and mark bell was supposed to call up today But we're gonna switch and we'll probably get him on next week or whatever And then that it says the supplement business is is kind of weird that there has no restrictions on it I gotta tell you on the strong bone guys, whether it's mental whether it's a placebo or whatever I went to kickboxing three times last week and I lifted last week that kickboxing ain't no joke It's movie type pads. There's no forms. There's no dancing. There's nothing you get in there You stretch and you go right to the jump rope and right from there at don't add you go to fucking

Mids and you put on pads then you fucking spar with the chins on the whole fucking time I got to put the mouthpiece in the whole fucking thing, you know, and it's light sparring But you're still moving after an hour and a half and I gotta tell you something guys I'm walking great So if you're gonna start a fucking routine the biggest problem is sometimes you're big you're heavy You get so sore not muscle soreness, but joint soreness. Listen, you go under glutamine Whatever the fuck it is and they always have like joint relief or medication and you get on it It takes a while and it's not bad. Please do me a favor

There's a money-back guarantee on this on this up go to strong bone Go to fucking on it get the strong bone get the head protein or get the fucking new mood mix and match them They have a package Put church in the fucking code in there get 10% off plus you get some additional discount now Because of the holidays start your resolution mother fucking today Trust me on tanya Even if you don't go to the omni go down to fucking cvs get a fucking protein bar and start the chains today You don't have to wait till the 31st

And that's it. That's all i'm gonna talk about on it go to omni.com anything you want to talk about lea No, no fucking happy holidays. Happy holidays when I want to talk people about I'm not trying to sell something but I've been I'm in a crossroads because uh, I did this thing with that lea was a producer on called testicle test and it was uh Stories of my life and I broke broke them up into my daughter. I broke them up into drugs I broke them up into going to prison and my stepdad won and different situations, but now I'm trying to put them together You know, and I've been making little notes here and here and it's a fucking pain He asked I'm trying to work with oma lopez on a book writing has consumed me

You know, I'm reading the fucking honor writing by steven king for the second time I know you're tired leaving you want to get out It's consumed me lea and I really want to do something wealthy the other night And it's funny how you get I come on here and I talk about movies sometimes we talk about Great movies and there was a movie on the other night. I never really considered a great movie till the other night I saw this movie at the galaxy theaters and uh In uh, guttenberg, new jersey in 94 when I first came out and I thought it was And then I heard the story about how it came about this guy chas palm and terry

Live with steve, uh with the guy from the sopranos and this other guy and they were all roommates Not the not the star from the sopranos But one of the writers of the sopranos terrence whatever his name is Winters or something like that and they would all tell stories about their neighborhoods at night So let's say you were from brooklyn. You tell me about nicky the nose And let's say I was from jerseye tell you about calm mind bowzano And we'd all get together and tell stories. Well, supposedly the word on the street was that that uh Chas palm and terry took some of their stories and did this one man's show called

Bronx tale and the nero went in there and bought it and they added the black girl element to it And the whole element to it and a couple years later became a film And I happened to work with chas palm and terry on women versus men and it was an all-star cast man Just you know poor riser and fucking uh, this guy that died that was in He was on this tv show. He was like an idol of mine. He was in the movie eraser with uh, right with uh Schwartz vega And he played the the mob guy and I forget what the guy's name was he was in this movie a lot of stars Women versus men i am db and I was I was in there for one fucking day

I get thrown I throw this guy I take him out of a trunk and throw him in to the water So I get to meet chas palm and terry and I gotta tell you he's really cool And I see him at ufcs and he always takes the time to say fucking hello So, uh, you know, whatever happened with chas palm and terry happened. I've seen bronx tail. Whatly any fucking times Just watched it. Well, the other day was on spike I was watching the ufc fights. Heck the lumbar all that shit. Jesus fucking christ. I like the lumbar He punched the fuck out of wrestling me at pal maris But i'm watching this bronx tail and it's a mob movie sudo. They beat up these bikers

And i'm getting ready i'm going to the live fact i got 1245 And i'm getting ready and i'm walking around i'm watching this and I just sit down The part of the end of that part And i'm trying to figure out what to do with testicle testaments I really am trying to figure out what to do with how to rewrite this how to take this on the road And fucking sell this You know how to take this on the road and do a little theater for you guys and have a set And show pictures of north bergen and you know, I know the documentaries out where I got my balls from

Uh, but I wanted to you know be with you guys a little more So i'm trying to put this one man show obviously leo be on the road with me Then this dick sucks chicks fart in his face. He'll be doing the farting in my face tour While I do the testicle testament tour And uh, I'm trying to get the common denominator. What could run through this and i'm watching the end of bronx tail And this is a mob fucking movie And uh, this is the scene where they're walking on and this is what the movie was about

You ready hit it leigh They're walking out of the theater. We're going to see sonny jazz sonny my father always said that when I get older I would understand Well, I finally did I learned something from these two men I learned to give love and get love unconditionally You just have to accept people for what they are And I learned the greatest gift of all The saddest thing in life is wasted talent

And the choices that you make will shape your life forever But you can ask anybody for my name boy and they'll just tell you This is just another bronx tail It's monday morning Cock suckers wasted talent go out there sling dick wash your balls eat some pussy Shoot a fucking cock sucker that fucks with you. It's monday. Have a great week. The world ends on friday I don't know who the guest is on wednesday yet. I want to thank lee sciat my man jeremy from ball cancer dot com Our cancer sucks. What the fuck am I talking about my man burr christia?

I want to thank fucking everybody who watches and supports the show We'll be back On uh, wednesday. What do you got for me leigh? I don't know. We use all our music. What do you want to do? Trampled on the foot baby a little zeppelin for us a little something good hit me Well, heck don't evolve whatever the fuck you got well while we're waiting for why uh, why did that? Why does that scene really affect you so much? Because it was a mob movie But the whole time

He was selling one thing. He was selling don't waste your talent. Here's and this is what my friends did for me, man You know, this is what my friends did for me. They kept stressing it It's the same thing that we're doing with these fucking people on twitter and facebook or whatever. Don't waste your fucking talent go out there and Suck some pussy. Do they knock some motherfuckers out and let them know who the fucking boss is whether you're drawing Whether you want to write whether you want to rap whether you want to go to fucking mars Don't give up. You can do it motherfuckers. Where's the music? It's right here. I'm already got me all emotional for a cocksucker I gotta go blow my nose and take a piss hit it Have a great day. Stay black much love on it.com

press the church What are you fucking nuts what are you fucking nuts, mama? talking about love ocean ocean wiggly Have a great day for the fuck this day black Oh You