Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #133 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: January 26, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY’S JOINT..... It’s Wednesday, January 26th.... This podcast ALWAYS is presented by ONNIT! Go to https://www.onnit.com/JOEY This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter, CBD... Lion & DraftKings….. Go to https://www.ZipRecruiter.com/JOEY & Try it for FREE! Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY For 20% OFF Your Order! Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook to receive $280 in Free Bets when you Bet $5…. Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This podcast is brought to you by Onit. Go to Onit.com and look at the great selection of supplements. If you find something you like, press in Code Joey and get 10% off delivered right to your house. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? It's Wednesday, the 26th of January. The joint is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Like I said, 2022 is going to be a big year for you and for a lot of businesses.
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Starting point is 00:01:29 ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. The joint is also brought to you by CBD Lion providing quality CBD from the gummies to the tincture to the capsules. CBD Lion has your back. Go to CBDLion.com right now. Read the third party lab results and how it can work for you. If you find something, check out and at the boxpress and Joey joint or church and get 20% off delivered right to your house. That's CBD Lion. The joint is also brought to you by, oh my God, DraftKings right here from fucking Jersey.
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Starting point is 00:04:22 Let's make it happen. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app. Use code Joey. Let's get this motherfucking party started, Jack. Yeah, Joey's in the game. Check one, two. Welcome to Uncle Joey's Joy. What's happening, you bad, ego-looking motherfuckers?
Starting point is 00:05:34 It's Wednesday, January 26th. A beautiful motherfucking day here on the plantation. We're trying to make it happen. People want to bother me when I'm starting this beautiful fucking episode of The Joint. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling better. I just smoked a little before the podcast to loosen up a little bit. Get the Aspetitos mallos out of here.
Starting point is 00:05:55 I didn't know if I told you yet. We're back Monday, but I'm also back mentally on the fucking. If you ain't high by two o'clock, go fuck your mother. It's back in full fucking swing. I've been doing it for 30 days now, so that puts me back in the club and back as the CEO. If you're not high by two o'clock, I don't know what to do with yourself. You know what I'm saying? Me?
Starting point is 00:06:19 I'm happy again because I get to smoke a little tootsie roots and walk on the fucking treadmill. Speaking of the treadmill, I was on that motherfucker this morning doing my little joint. Listen to power rage again. I've been going through every day. I put in a different album. Like yesterday was fucking Pyromania. The day before Saturday was high and dry fucking Friday with no Friday. I didn't walk.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Yes, I did. I walked at night. I put a little black Sabbath gray. They say it's I'm always mixing it fucking up on the treadmill. But listen, like I told you, motherfucker, the treadmill got a lot easier when I do three fucking bong hits. I don't even put Visine in my eyes. I go out there raw dog in it. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:06:57 It's in the old. It's early in the morning. I ain't going to bump into no parents. I ain't going to bump into nobody. I'm going to bump into the fucking relics at the gym. And they know I like to fucking smoke some reef from time to time. But besides that, it's been a great motherfucking week so far before the podcast started. My shoulder popped out.
Starting point is 00:07:14 So if I make funny faces, like I got to take a shit. It's got nothing to do with that. My fucking shoulder popped out. Me and Mike Wildside in the fucking blunter debt. He had one of his fucking cocoa blunts and I had a regular blunt from the dudes. And we took a couple of hits. Nice. Nice.
Starting point is 00:07:33 It's going to snow. It was supposed to snow yesterday. It came down for a fucking maybe eight fucking minutes. I was excited too. I'm like fucking some snow. People are going to be off the streets. My daughter's at school. That means when she gets home at fucking four or three, we can have a little snowball fight.
Starting point is 00:07:49 Kaput turned to fucking water. I don't know about this climate shit. All I know is that when I was growing up in Jersey, you didn't see the sidewalk from fucking December. To like March. And then you started seeing like yellow snow. The first snow that the dogs pissed on. You see those little frozen shits. And then you see like 22 inches of snow on top of that.
Starting point is 00:08:09 That's the fucking Jersey I grew up in. People call me every day. Joey, how cold is it? I mean, it's 37. It was 15 last week. That was cold. But besides that, guys, I grew up in this fucking state when January was zero. Zero.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Like I've been thinking, oh my God, I was thinking about my fucking past. January is here. Like it. Like I did three things that I still remember the cold fucking weather. Like I could still remember pretty much what I wore to combat the weather. Like the coldest night I think I ever encountered as a young kid. I had a lot of cold nights. But in January, like I remember when I had to cut through a cemetery one night and it was freezing.
Starting point is 00:08:53 I had a pee and my pee froze in my pants because I took a shit and I pee, but I didn't pull my pants all the way down. And the pee froze in my pants. And then I remember another night when we were up up in Hudson County Park. That was one of the coldest nights I ever fucking encountered. I had to stop like every two blocks to duck in to get warm. People were throwing us out. I wasn't even giving a fuck. I was just going into businesses.
Starting point is 00:09:17 My buddy Loops were like, fuck it. That's the night we went to the Wing Fung on 78th and Burger Line. That was one of the last times I ran out of that motherfucker because we were going there and robbed from them. Like not robbed physically, but we go in there and get like three entrees, soups and shit. And then we'd run the fuck out of there. We must have done that 20 times. I think by 8081 they got used to us. So now they would fucking lock the doors and shit.
Starting point is 00:09:45 And it was just bored. I got bored with them chasing me. But one night we were in there and then there was another night. The night I went to see missing persons in Pisaic. There's a fucking pretty good venue in Pisaic. I only went to Pisaic two times to start theater early on before I knew who the fuck they were. I went to see Rainbow and the fucking Scorpions. And I knew Michael Shanklin was there.
Starting point is 00:10:15 I went with this fucking dude that was big. He was into that type of music and he had the ticket. But the night I went there with Ferney Bossasuto and my man Beniri, we froze to death. And we had a fucking car. He had a car and we were freezing with the heater on. That's how fucking cold Jersey was. That's what I fucking remember about Jersey. And on the corners, the puddle and the daytime, the sun would melt a little bit of the fucking snow.
Starting point is 00:10:44 So the corners would just be draining like little melted fucking things. But if it got like after about by lunchtime, the drain would start to fill in and you wouldn't know it. You'd be walking down the street concentrating on staying warm and shit, minding your own business. And you stepped off the fucking sidewalk and your whole foot went into that because you thought it looked like ice. It would freeze every 30 seconds. The motherfucker would freeze. You could step on it, keep going and go fuck. I can't believe I went through the ice.
Starting point is 00:11:17 Your foot would be, you would have to wear even the galoshes. It went through. I was a galosh man. I didn't like when the boots and shit. Yeah, I was a galosh man growing up. Those galoshes like 10 fucking bucks. You strap them on your shoes over your boots and they don't let you slip. So I was a galosh man.
Starting point is 00:11:34 So I could tell you those galoshes are good if you're not going to go deep sea fucking fish diving. If your foot goes to the ice, the galoshes do no good. Your whole fucking foot gets wet. And all of a sudden you're walking home and you hear like... And after about another mile, that fucking foot freezes the fuck up dog. That's what I think, that's what inspired my fungi toenail. That it got fucking frosted all the way to the end when I was a kid. I remember those fucking nights.
Starting point is 00:12:01 It just, there was the prosaic theater. There was the night with Fokaracho. Then there was another night I can't remember. It doesn't fucking... Oh, it was the same night. Then I ate the kway lube with Fokaracho and those guys. I couldn't make it home. I had to sleep in a fucking alleyway.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Until this day, I got to ask myself how the fuck I stayed warm in that motherfucker all night. Because when I woke up, I couldn't move parts of my fucking body. I think it was the kway lube that stopped my... What's that shit when your bones freeze outside, if you don't have fucking weather? If you don't have like gloves on and you keep throwing... What's it called? Frostbite. Yeah, frostbite.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Yeah, frostbite for a few minutes. The fucking finger falls off or whatever the fuck happens. Dog, I slept out in this frigid motherfucker all night. I had igloos around me. That was about the time. Whenever I think about this, dog listen, guys. I was a retarded young man. I have no regrets.
Starting point is 00:13:00 I will always tell you this because I don't want you to think like I was a five beta cap. But when you look at the pictures I posted a few weeks ago, my shoulders are big and, you know, I look good and stuff, but I was a fucking complete moron. And I'll never forget like 8081. I think I told this story on the Joe Rogan podcast and people hated me for this. I had gotten some dough. That was when I fucking cashed the checks. I cast these three checks and I ended up making like 20 grand.
Starting point is 00:13:30 I was in high school when I put the 20 grand in my drawer under my socks and shit. Nobody ever knew that money was there. My friends would come over. I was living with the benders. Nobody. And I would just take the 20 off the top every night. Like fuck, it was like my own ATM machine. I don't know how long it lasted.
Starting point is 00:13:47 It don't fucking matter. But I was a big shot the first week I got the money, right? And some guy came up to me and some girl had a crush on me. So I met her one night. We bought like an eight pack of beer each and we got some weed. And we went behind this fucking fire department on Kennedy Boulevard up the block from roses. The now defunct roses. Delhi.
Starting point is 00:14:11 My heart goes out to Tony. I love that fucking place. I went there like five times last year. You know, I couldn't go up there a lot to North Bergen, but he closed and, you know, first of his hash ways. And now it was Tony's, you know, roses, deli on RIP on Kennedy Boulevard. I don't know where my friends are going to go now. That was one of my hangs too. I go and they got a quick ham and cheese.
Starting point is 00:14:35 They got a tremendous roast beef with Matt, with Matt, with wet muts and gravy that would make your fucking asshole as curl the fuck up. But I took it to that fire department at the block from roses. And we just went behind that and we were swapping spit. We were drinking our beers. It was cold. But when you got a hard on, it don't matter. You know what I'm saying? When you're when you're 1817 and your dick is hard, I could be nude and it could be.
Starting point is 00:14:59 I could be one of those mokes at the Green Bay game out there yelling and shit, freezing their asses off. I don't know how those motherfuckers do it up in Green Bay and then to drive home with that Green Bay shirt after they lost. Oh, that's a tough motherfucker. My heart goes out to Green Bay and his fans. I don't know where Aaron Rogers is going to end up. Who gives a fuck? We got football this weekend, cocksuckers. That's all that matters.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Listen, you know me. I love my little Draft King shit. I love doing my stuff on there, but I'm just taking the football. You know what? For a couple weeks there, I was playing basketball during the week and stuff like that. 25 bucks. I would bet it over or something. You know what?
Starting point is 00:15:39 It took away from me during the week. I didn't like it. I'd always be fucking watching the computer or I'd have to stop to see what the score. I'm not one of those guys that'll watch the whole fucking game, but I would stop to, you know, like, I'd be watching the wife and my wife would be like, hold on. There's three minutes left. Let me watch all that. I don't need that. So I'm just football only, which means I got these this week and then the motherfucking Super Bowl.
Starting point is 00:16:02 I ain't betting the pro bowl. That's what's up. There's a lot of the shit you can bet on. Anyway, so we went there. We hit it off that night. We drank the eight pack. We swapped some spit. I think she gave me a little bit of titty.
Starting point is 00:16:16 I was impressed. Wow. So we're like, listen, I'm going to walk you home, but we're definitely going to meet tomorrow night. I was light that night. I only took like $40 out. I was bringing the whole roll out. We were going for broke. We even did a couple of bumps.
Starting point is 00:16:30 She liked the bumps. The guy she was dating, the reason why we sneaked that first date and we were going to, we snuck after that for about, I don't know, we dated like maybe for four months. The reason why we did everything on the down low because she had broken up with her boyfriend in like five years. He started dating when she was like that, you know, one of those relationships and they're fucking like 11 and a half and shit like that. And now she was like 17. I had to be like either 17 or 18. Yeah, I was 18 fucking years old and I walked into a home. I was a complete gentleman, but I was a gentleman with fucking desires.
Starting point is 00:17:08 You know what I'm saying? That's a different type of gentleman. You know, at least I'm honest enough to admit it. Ladies, if you're listening to this, when you bump into these guys that are gentlemen, yeah, that gentleman, they open up the door. You know, they want your grandmother to come to the movie theater and all that bullshit. But guess what? They got desires. And if your grandmother does come to the movie theater, I want you to know you're going to have to pay for that lady.
Starting point is 00:17:32 You have to lick a nut when you don't want it on a plane because we're going to use it against you. What about the time? I took your grandmother to the fucking movies. Come on, sniff my nut right here on the plane. I'll put you under the blanket. Nobody knows nothing. You know what I'm saying? Just put your mask on.
Starting point is 00:17:46 Make sure your mask is on so you don't get thrown off the plane. And you got your little, that dog gets out. I don't know what's going on anymore. I just know I'm happy and I'm having a good time with you motherfuckers on a beautiful Wednesday morning. The attitude is back. I'm feeling better. So the next night I go home, I drop my girl Anne off. That was her name, Anne.
Starting point is 00:18:10 I drop her off. She lived like on 80 fucking third street or something. I had to walk home in the cold. I don't know if I took a bus. I don't remember. Doesn't fucking matter, Joey. So the next morning I woke up, dog. You know when you wake up when you're 18, you got that dick of debt.
Starting point is 00:18:24 You can jerk off twice and nothing happens. You don't even break a sweat. And you take a shower and all day long, you're thinking about what you're going to do to some girl that night. It's ladies. I need for you to understand this. This is us. We don't sit there going, I wonder if I should give her a dozen flowers or 24 flowers. No, we're deciding whether we're going to suck your ass first, your pussy tie you up.
Starting point is 00:18:47 You know, we're trying to fucking look at our bedroom and remember. We also like to think about what we didn't do to you the first two dates. Because a lot of times you go on your first date with a chick, you start fucking dry humping. You get to eat some ass and fucking on the way home. You got, I forgot to tie her wrist up. I'll do it on the second date. You know what I'm saying? So you always go back to improve, but I had never been with at the time.
Starting point is 00:19:10 I could lie to you guys and tell you I was slinging dick. Like I'm not, I wasn't slinging. No dick. So anytime pussy percentage itself, I would go fucking bananas like any other young fucking guy does, right? So the next day dog, I kept thinking about this chick's skinny body. Now I was going to suck at titties and nothing was going to happen. She was a Catholic fucking girl. I was lucky.
Starting point is 00:19:32 I kissed her neck that night and kissed the teddy. I think she fucking cried when I sucked the teddy. I was, I was in no danger. Half of us weren't. And now you come to full realization how much of a fucking idiot we were at that age. So the next day I wake up early in the morning, dick hard, ready to go. And I look out the fucking window and there's got to be, you know, eight to 12 inches of snow. You know, my fucking heart broke, but my dick stayed harder than fucking mathematics jack.
Starting point is 00:20:02 What did I do? I didn't give up. You think I was going to give up? Bah! Bah! If you think I'm going to give up. I took that shovel and I walked all the way to 85th street from the bender's house. I don't know whose shovel I borrowed.
Starting point is 00:20:16 I don't give a fuck. I think I even brought on the bus with me. I don't give a fuck jack. I brought that fucking thing up there and I fucking dug it up. Guys, I still remember one of the five men coming out and going, what are you doing, kid? I'm like, no, no, I'm volunteering. I wasn't fucking volunteering. I was building.
Starting point is 00:20:34 So when he caught me, I had to do like a pathway. So it was perfect. Like nobody walked back there. There was nothing going on behind the fire. Nobody even knew it fucking existed. There was a little spot back there. I fucking shoveled it out. You know, it's freezing out.
Starting point is 00:20:48 I'm shoveling out there. I don't know if it was January, February, December. I don't fucking know. I'm out there fucking doing my thing. And the next thing, you know, I'm looking around like, and I see like a little carpeting dog, like a rip carpeting. Remember when fucking Paulie and Christopher was stuck in the pine barons in the van and they found the carpet in the back and they ripped it in half and dust and fingernails and toe jam and pussy juice and crabs and anything else. That could live in a carpet. It was in that carpet.
Starting point is 00:21:20 I did not give a fuck. I took that carpet. I beat it against the wall a couple of times. I shook a bunch of stuff out and I'm like, maybe I'll put a little like an igloo together. Guys, I built like a fucking foot little thing to keep us warm and I put the carpet on the bottom. I think there was some kind of fencing and I put like an old blanket back there to block the wind. I had in my mind and you're fucking perverted, disgusting, hard on when you're 18 year old mind. I thought I was doing the right thing.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Now listen, if I was fucking any smart, I should have gave one of my older friends some cash and just took it to a hotel. I had the fucking money. There was tons of hotels on fucking Tungly Avenue. Tons of them, those little dirty hotels where even if you don't have a date, you'll end up with a date. Those hotels on Tungly Avenue on Route 1 and 9 there from North Bergen all the way down to Jersey City, whatever's left. If you don't have a date, just check into there. Somebody will knock on your door. I don't know if it's going to be the woman of your dreams, but somebody will knock on your door.
Starting point is 00:22:26 So instead of doing that, I was all excited and I fucking built the fucking little love igloo out there. And I went to the liquor store. I brought beers already to try to impress her. I had beers because anytime you're on a date, your first joint before you get in. If you think getting a pants is going to be hard, that's one thing. But fucking going to get somebody to get liquor for you, that was another. So I had people that would always get your liquor, but when I was going to get liquor, people would tag on and then it would go from 1-8 pack or a bottle of fucking Boone's Farm to 8 cases of beer. So I didn't want that to happen.
Starting point is 00:23:05 So I went there in the daytime, got my little fucking 8 pack, got another like a bottle. I don't even know. It wasn't beer that she was drinking. I do remember that. I don't know what I got. And I don't want to stick my foot in my mouth. I don't know if it was Boone's Farm or whatever. But I hit it all out there.
Starting point is 00:23:20 I put some fucking snow on it. Like Johnny Romantico. And I fucking went home. I took a shower. I cut my toenails. I put Cologne on the whole fucking Uncle Joey package when he's 18. And I walked up there for her to tell me that she wasn't allowed out that night. And that was the adventures of Joey's loving glue.
Starting point is 00:23:40 If I was smart, I would have gone to the igloo, done a grandma blow and banged one out by myself and came on the carpet. I don't know what the fuck young kids do, but I don't even know what I did. But those are my adventures in the cold motherfucking heirs of New Jersey. So I know all about the weather here. I see all these people. I see the little fucking ugly girl with the red hair yelling about the climate. I don't know Greta, whatever, Greta Van Stone. I don't fucking know what her name is.
Starting point is 00:24:08 And I'm here to tell you that the weather has fucking changed a lot in New Jersey. It's not that fucking human in the summer like I remember it. I remember it hating the fucking summer. I did great. Little bit of humidity, you know, like Jay-Z. You know what I'm saying? Swipe your fucking bug off your chest there. But I don't remember like a bad summer and this winter so far, guys, you know, people bust my balls all the time.
Starting point is 00:24:34 You were in California, you fucking idiot. It's 75 degrees here. You know what? That's great. I lived in that weather for a long time and I lived in the Colorado climate for a long time, which is 12 to 13 fucking years. I've lived in it. I've been there, done that. I was ready for this and I got to be honest with you.
Starting point is 00:24:51 It's not that bad. I'll tell you, fucking Monday night, it was cold as a motherfucker out. I remember, no, I think it was Monday night, Sunday night, the night of the games. My daughter and my wife were at a friend's house when the kids get together on a play date. It had to be like six o'clock. There was dinner upstairs. But I was like, I already had fucking Salisbury steak. You know, it was really fucking good.
Starting point is 00:25:23 She made it with some mushrooms and onions. My wife hit it out of the park. But I didn't think I wanted to eat Salisbury steak again, but I got to fucking be honest with you. It wasn't bad. So I said, you know what? Maybe I was in the mood, maybe like get like, I don't know, pizza or something. I don't know, something completely different. Guys, I opened up my door and I felt that gust of wind.
Starting point is 00:25:48 I said, you know what? I'm going to eat that Salisbury steak because this other shit, it's too fucking cold out. I had a sweatshirt on. I had my jacket. I just didn't feel like warming up the fucking car. That still sucks. When you get up in the morning, but I got it down to a science is I lived in Colorado. I didn't have it to a science here because well, I didn't have a car.
Starting point is 00:26:09 What was it going to warm up my bus? I didn't have a fucking nothing then. So here, you know, I just go out there, start the car, put the defrost on. You know that the Subaru has seats that warm up tremendous. Your assholes on fire. You keep your hemorrhoid nice and warm. But can I do something 15 minutes? I go out there that I haven't fucking taken the snow off my window.
Starting point is 00:26:34 I don't know how long it's not like Colorado snow. So I just sit in the car and go for a fucking ride. That's it. When the car gets nice and warm, I'm fucking gone. No drama done. The other thing I want to talk about today. I want to talk to you guys about something that I don't know if it's always been like this or if this just started during the pandemic. I know that there was a lot of chains when COVID hit, you know, social, social consciousness and all this stuff, you know, whether it was good or bad.
Starting point is 00:27:08 That's got nothing to do with me. You know, everybody adjusted to whatever they could and they played the game to the best they can. You know, it's great to see two football players punching each other and the one guy's helmet says inspire change on it. You know what I'm saying? So it's fucking tough to digesting guys. I'm an old school type guy and I see things for what they are. There's some things that could change. There's some things you can educate people on.
Starting point is 00:27:32 But people are who the fuck they are, you know, so, but for some reason or another, the last I've noticed this a lot and a lot of people are not going to be happy with this conversation. And I really don't give a fuck because what do I got to lose at this point in the game? You know, I've always liked Neil Young. You know, I've always liked fucking Neil Young. Okay, I went to see a movie when I was a kid, you know, Neil Young, the other two fucking mooks. And I just really liked their harmonizing. You know, Crosby still is gnashing young. Two or three mooks.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Crosby still is gnashing young. Three, I'm sorry. Four, whatever the fuck. So I've always dug his music and stuff. I watched that movie at the Fairview Cinema, you know, close to 40 fucking years ago. And I really enjoyed Neil Young. I don't know. And I had the album, you know, which I'm trying to get now because I really fucking like it a lot.
Starting point is 00:28:33 Russ never sleeps. So I like that album. I liked it. That was a big summer for me. It was like summer of 74 or summer of 75 or 76. Who the fuck knows? I just like Neil Young. I like his music.
Starting point is 00:28:49 I like, you know, I'm goofing on years now with Crosby still is gnashing young. I like all that music. I like Ohio. You know, I like John Fogarty. I like that time period. I was really fucking impressed when I saw that Neil Young was friends with Rick James in Canada in the 60s. And they both had the same type of views and stuff about the war, you know, whatever. But fucking Neil Young always has to fucking raise his hand.
Starting point is 00:29:18 You guys are too young to remember this shit. I think I mentioned that on the podcast. Sorry about my shoulders fucking killing me for some reason. I don't know. Maybe 1987 before I got locked up. You know, I was a fan of everybody. I wasn't really involved in music like I was when I was younger. Before I got locked up, you know, I was buck wild.
Starting point is 00:29:42 I think it was the year that Def Leppard released Pour Some Sugar on Me. And you two released whatever that really good album about the orchid tree. The Joshua tree, the orchid tree, whatever the fuck it is. You know, I was into music, but I wasn't like I was when I was 82, 81, those years, 70, 79, 80. But I still remember like I liked MTV and shit. I was watching MTV news one time and they were talking about Neil Young attack. The other crazy man, Eric Clapton. I don't know what the fuck that motherfucker smoking.
Starting point is 00:30:21 That guy got hit in the head with a fucking guitar. They, you know, it's time for somebody to go talk to fucking Eric Clapton. You know what I'm saying? You ever see the movie Irishman like they kept saying somebody's got to go over talk to the Hoffa. It's time to talk to fucking Eric Clapton. I mean, you know what? Anybody got Cheryl Crowe's number because I guarantee she could get through the Eric Clapton. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:30:45 Like somebody's got to get through the Eric Clapton. I appreciate that motherfucker. You guys know I'm a fan of his till the end, you know, the racist things. It was in 73. People feel differently now than they did then. He was on heroin. He made mistakes. I forgive them.
Starting point is 00:31:02 You know, he said some fucking crude shit up on stage, you know, doesn't really fucking matter. I respect his guitar playing and I respect him. You know, he fucking built that place for junkies. He sold all his guitars to fund the place to help recovering heroin addicts. He's done a lot of good things. So before you fucking, you know, a lot of times I got to say this because four weeks from now, I talk to a friend of mine or I'll get an email from a different somebody who listens to the show and goes out and like when you stuck up for that guy or put him down.
Starting point is 00:31:37 I'll tell you the reasons why I don't like him, but I also tell you the reasons why I respect these guys. I respect the shit out of Eric Clapton. The first time I saw fucking Eric Clapton was jumping up and down in Tommy with The Who when they do, I sighed to the blind and I knew I loved that motherfucker and I knew his music. I just didn't know him, you know. It's just a lot of motherfuckers that do no wrong around me and I love him and I'm a fan of them. But and I met Eric Clapton. I met Eric Clapton.
Starting point is 00:32:09 I saw him at a comedy show one time. I said hello to him and then I saw him on LeBrayer Boulevard walking. He was parked in a car and I waved and he smiled at me. Doug, I love fucking Eric Clapton, but this shit the last three years, listen, when he's right or wrong, it's just that he's too old to be arguing with these motherfuckers anymore. Like it's just too old, Eric. You know, first you're not going to play when he wrote the vaccine song or whatever the fuck. The anti-vacine song or the COVID song.
Starting point is 00:32:37 I'm like, oh, don't start with this shit. But then he started making fucking crazy statements yesterday. And you know what, guys, sometimes for these older guys, I think that, you know, it sucks when you haven't put on an album for 10 years. It must suck. I haven't put on a special since 2018 and it sucks. You know, an artist has to stay active and do the best he can, you know, every couple of years to put something out when you don't put something out for 10 years.
Starting point is 00:33:13 That's it. You know, you're going into a different realm of your life. But at the same time, things are changing around no more. But your phone ain't ringing like it used to. You lost a bunch of friends. Those people who thought you were fucking brilliant, you know, don't even talk to you anymore. You know, so what do you do? You fucking sit at home and now you look at the success that influencers have.
Starting point is 00:33:39 And Joe Rogan has and all these people and you go, well, maybe I'll open up my mouth. And they do and they get fucking bashed over the head right away. I don't know what happened with Eric. He wasn't going to perform in COVID places. He was going to perform in them. It's been a fucking meltdown over there. Eric, baby, you're fucking killing me. I love you.
Starting point is 00:34:02 I'm here. I got your back cock sucker. And then you got Neil Young, you know, who owns Lionel. I think doesn't he own a train company, a choo-choo company. And, you know, he's got so much going on. He's fucking Daryl Hanna and that old dry pussy. I think he's banging Daryl Hanna. I don't fucking know.
Starting point is 00:34:20 It doesn't really make a difference. I shouldn't be saying these things. But, you know, he comes out, you know, and you know why he's doing it. The article explained it to you that Spotify pays who gots. He has nothing to lose by doing that, by threatening them. I'm getting out of here unless Joe Rogan's throwing off the platform, you know. You know, people are just, you know, people are just like, you know, it's uncalled upon, you know, all this shit.
Starting point is 00:34:49 The way people are attacking Rogan and Dr. Malone. I mean, that dude, they're throwing eggs at his house and shit. And you know what, man, at the end of the day, when you think about it, this shit is all misleading fucking information. It's all misleading information. You haven't gotten good information since day one about this fucking shit. At this point, just move on with your life. Do the best you fucking can.
Starting point is 00:35:16 Take your vitamins, jump up and down, eat your wife's pussy, and do the best you fucking can. Move forward. If they don't want you to go to work, you move forward. We work around this shit. But to sit there every fucking day, they try to bombard. That's why you got to get the fuck out. You got to live your life.
Starting point is 00:35:31 I'm very happy I got it in early December. It lifted a fucking tremendous weight off my fucking shoulders. It, you know, it didn't prove anything to me. It just proved to me that I could live and I feel happy about it. But at the same time, these fucking lunatics are like losing their fucking minds at an old age. Neil Young got more money than any of you motherfuckers know what to do with. We all say if I ever had Neil Young money, yeah, do it then.
Starting point is 00:35:58 Neil Young, go listen to 10 people. Go to your 10 of your fans and go, what would you do if you had $50 million? And you, these guys are selling their fucking things now. Their whole fucking catalogs. I think Neil Young did it too. Neil Young, Dylan did it. I mean, they're all doing it. The Motley Crew did it.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Motley Crew's in complete with Mac, got some loot. But Motley Crew got like a buck. A buck. I don't even think Motley Crew got a lot of money. Motley Crew got a million, 125 million, maybe something like that. But you got divided by four fucking guys. So at the end of the week, you're like, what the fuck was it? I guarantee they're all busy doing heroin or whatever.
Starting point is 00:36:41 Not everybody wrote the same amount. So it all works out in the fucking wash, Nikki Six. But I'm talking about this Neil Young guy. And this isn't where I'm going with this either. But we joked around. We had a good time. You know, I'm trying to break it down for you guys. But think about it.
Starting point is 00:36:58 For somebody to call up and go unless you get rid of this guy, I'm taking my music. Now, let me tell you something. I know Neil's intelligent. I hope so. I hope that dementia and nobody hit him in the head with a guitar or, you know, Crosby and Stills aren't sending fucking hate mail to him. I don't know what's going on with Neil. So what if Spotify doesn't answer him and they keep Rogan on?
Starting point is 00:37:24 I mean, listen, 276 duck, you know, everybody's trying to get this kid off the thing. You know, Rogan's trying his best. I like what he's doing. He makes me, he makes me laugh because of the reaction he's getting. People are like, I mean, if you read the read, I love when white people are blast. What's that word? They say, I'm flabbergasted. People are roaring in anger.
Starting point is 00:37:54 You know, I see people all day long. Ain't nobody roaring with fucking anger around me. You know, like the statements he makes. Now I don't listen to all the Joe's podcasts. I don't, you know, I'm busy. I'm doing shit. I get the realm. I talk to my friends who listen.
Starting point is 00:38:10 I speak to Joe from time to time. He breaks it down for me. We giggle and we laugh because it's like at the end of the fucking week, it's comedians talking. Nobody has put that together yet that if you really take seriously what a comedian says, you're out of your mind. But to better, to better phrase this, you know, man, when did we become bigger than what's going on? When did we become bigger than what's going on? I'm just, listen, I love Neil and whatever, but he's out of his fucking mind.
Starting point is 00:38:48 He already knows the answer that fits between him and Rogan. They're going to tell Neil to go fuck himself. And I know he's got a new album coming out. Ooh, you know, ain't nobody waiting for that shit. So not no disrespect Neil, but you know, everybody wants to fucking listen to tick tock music and shit. You know, unless you're killing people at a concert, ain't nobody buying your music. You know what I'm saying? So, so, but the thing that kills me the most about this is that all of a sudden people could dominate a platform.
Starting point is 00:39:23 People could, you know, it started a few years ago with Rogan. You know, maybe a year ago, I'm sorry, a year and a half ago when the LGBTQ people that worked there were threatening to quit. Well, friends and families of LGBTQ people were threatening to quit. Now this is just logic. I'm not trying to be an asshole, but think about it. You got a company of a hundred people and you've got after all these years of busting your hump. You know, yeah, you got little fucking people on there. You got Joey Diaz and the Ari doing podcasts.
Starting point is 00:40:01 Nobody gives a fuck about that. The new white America, the new kid from 18 to 34 is getting groomed on fucking Rogan. And that's just the way it is. Accept it. You fucking maggots. It's just the way it is. It's what's happening. So for now, I, you know, I feel for these employees who are sitting in an office and the guy that this company they're working for is putting so much stock in this fucking, you know, goots, you know, and it's got to affect it.
Starting point is 00:40:43 Like it's got to go. Well, we're giving money to a guy that's going off on people like me. I don't know. I don't know. And that's fine. Now let me ask you a question. We've all had day jobs. We've all had jobs.
Starting point is 00:40:59 We've all been putting on weird situations. If you're in a job and I don't know what they're making for a living, but I do know that you were looking for a job when you found that one. I've been very unhappy in my life with jobs. You know, my fucking career with jobs, but at the same time, how long do you want to stay there and take this? If it really bothers you, get your shit. Get the other three guys in the office or the three ladies in the office or the he she's. I don't know. I'm not here to offend anybody.
Starting point is 00:41:28 And let's get the fuck out of here. Let's get a job at a restaurant who appreciates us, who will put us in a safe haven. Are you guys with me here? In a little safe haven where nobody's going to offend you. That's what I would do. But if you think I'm going to take the three other employees or the seven or six other employees, decide myself and march into the office of Mr. Netflix and say, you know, Mr. Spotify and go. Hey, Mr. Spotify, me and my six friends here are very angered by the comments Joe Rogan makes and we're threatening to quit if you don't throw them off your platform. Well, I appreciate your fucking set of balls or whatever.
Starting point is 00:42:11 But at the same time, are you fucking crazy? Are you fucking retarded? This guy may generate millions of dollars and this is what I would tell him as Mr. Spotify. Like, listen, I don't like Joey Diaz. I don't like Ari. I don't like Rogan either. But this Rogan guy is paying the bills. So if you want to walk, I understand you wanting to walk because you don't agree with his views.
Starting point is 00:42:36 But think about it. I can't get rid of him over with seven people feeling the numbers are not correct. It's not fair that you put me in that fucking barrel. 11 million people listen to our little fucking friend in Texas. But because your feelings get hurt, we got to get rid of them and I understand. But just I'm not putting anybody down here. I'm just saying just you thinking that way that I'm going to march in there with my six friends. And I'll tell you what, I got news for you.
Starting point is 00:43:05 Even if you march in with your hundred friends, they're not going to get rid of Joe Rogan. I'm sorry to hear that. You know, I don't want to say this because I don't want to ruin Mike's watching the wire. I know a lot of you motherfuckers are watching the wire, so I can't even use this as a reference. But I use this as a reference for me when and here this is different. So you've got seven employees that are not happy. Correct? You got seven employees that are not happy or 11 employees that are not happy and you come to me and I have 100 employees, maybe 150 employees.
Starting point is 00:43:43 Your percentage is fucking nothing. And again, no offense to nobody. I'm just talking to you from two perspectives here before you go out and fucking say, well, me and my three friends are leaving because Joe Diaz is fucked or whatever. Well, let me tell you something. You know, in this case, this is the same thing. You're not bigger than what's going on for you to come into my office, whether you're Neil Young, whether you're fucking the guys at Spotify or the hers at Spotify and the guys at Netflix or the hers at Netflix and come into my office and threaten me with your job over Dave Chappelle or Joe Rogan or whoever the fuck. You're completely out of line.
Starting point is 00:44:24 Like if you really think about what's going on, you know, I love the gay community. I fucking loved them. I had a great relationship with my friends in California. I spoke to them. I have no gay friends here. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with Jersey. But in California, I was there for 23 years at my neighbor. I had Eric, who I loved.
Starting point is 00:44:46 I spoke to him the other day. I would love to get him on the podcast again, but he's doing great things. He had lined the Madhouse. He's headlining. But, you know, we work different schedules. I got to have him on the daytime. So it's been kind of rough with that. But what you're trying to tell me is that you don't want to, you know, with the gay community.
Starting point is 00:45:07 There was, I saw some problems every once in a while. I saw problems on sets, which I never really discussed because I kept them to the sets. But at times they thought that them being gay was bigger than what's going on. You know, you guys know what movie I worked on that had tremendous masculinity. I don't have to utter the words. And when I worked on that set, there was a young gay dude that I fucking loved to death. He was one of the high upstair. You know, he was having a problem with this masculinity.
Starting point is 00:45:46 He wasn't a flamboyant gay guy. Like I knew him for like maybe six weeks before he told me he was gay. And it was just him and I talking in the fucking, in my trailer about weed or whatever the fuck we're talking about. I think when we went back to California, he had to work closer with all of us. You know, at first he was kind of working with me and maybe Lobo and fucking Nick. And, you know, in fact, me and Nick still goof around about that guy. That guy used to wear pink. No, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:46:23 So when it got out that he was gay, you know, again, nobody busted his balls or anything. We all dug him to death. He was upset about the cop talk, the fucking in the ass talk, even though that's the whole thing of being gay, jumping up and down and fucking people in the ass and going to parties. He had a problem with the talk and I got it. He was outnumbered on the set. Do you know what this guy did? Like week 11, he found another job.
Starting point is 00:46:53 We stayed in touch for maybe a year. He ended up going to the premiere. It was a bunch of love. Nobody really knew this. He came to me and I think Nick was just talking. He goes, I just don't want to be around here no more. What are those shoes that people wear now with the holes in their rubber? Gators or whatever the fuck people wear.
Starting point is 00:47:11 Crocs. Crocs. Dog. They gave him a pair of pink crocs. One of the linebackers, the bad, the bad motherfucker from the Raiders at the time. Just his name slipped my mind, but they gave him pink crocs and he fucking wore them. And I loved the guy. And guess what?
Starting point is 00:47:31 Everybody on the set loved him. It wasn't even, there was no gay hate, nothing like that. The extreme, you know, suck my cock and fuck you and fucking hitting each other with eggs. He wasn't from that cut. That dog, I'm not from it all. A lot of cuts. So I understood he quit and I never had nothing against him. He quit on his own.
Starting point is 00:47:52 He didn't complain to anybody. He didn't go to the producers and try to get an ability fired. He had a job to do. He knew he was outnumbered. He knew he was outnumbered. So I don't understand how anybody right now, like in the trans community, again, my deepest apologies, but you can't go against what's bigger than you right now. And I get it.
Starting point is 00:48:15 You're doing great things. You're very proud of what you're doing. And I'm proud of you. Listen, sometimes I sit there. I go, you know how proud I am of guys that come out. Like, you know, in California, how many guys I knew? I could count on my hands that were fucking gay and living in a fucking secret. That's gotta suck dick.
Starting point is 00:48:33 I know it sucked dick when I was doing coke and I didn't want nobody to know. Imagine taking it in the ass and going to parties and having come on your feet and shit. I was talking to a gay friend of mine from LA and he did tell me, I think I told you this, that he has a guy that just comes over, rubs his feet. And when he finishes, he wax off on him. That's hysterical. I would love to come on somebody's feet. Not another man's nine and a half size fucking disgusting foot with hair on the toes.
Starting point is 00:49:02 You know what I'm saying? But I love to come on nicely. Your wife's feet or something. You know, anyway, that's a long time. I don't want to come on nobody's feet no more. I don't even think comes comes out of my dick anymore. I think it's just like one little drop or whatever the fuck it is. I don't even know.
Starting point is 00:49:17 I don't even, I don't even check. What do I care? I'm not the bigger and better things. But the whole thing here just bothers me sometimes how you think that you're bigger than what's going on. Neil Young, I love you. It's not your fault. You know, we're just getting old and fucking the people at Spotify. How bad do you feel if you stay at Spotify and you're there now?
Starting point is 00:49:41 You came to a reality that they don't really fucking care about you. Like they don't care. You got to assume that they don't fucking care because when you think that they do care, that's when your feelings are going to get hurt. And that's when you're going to feel like the system is breaking down, but it's not. The system's not breaking down. There's nobody against you. The problem is that fucking you're not bigger than the fucking problem at hand.
Starting point is 00:50:06 If you don't like what's going on around you. Neil Young, pull your fucking music off. I can live with that. I put you on Facebook yesterday, Ohio. I love that fucking jam. And I did that for a reason. To prove to you I'm a big fan, but you're too old. Who gives a fuck what your music is?
Starting point is 00:50:24 Just take it off Spotify. It's already on your website. Re-released, redone. What the fuck do you want? You know what I'm saying? Give me a breather. The guys at Spotify, look what happened. They had a parade for you.
Starting point is 00:50:38 For you guys, him and hers, you know, and not a parade. They had a press conference and, you know, you had CNN there and the media and it worked. It tried, but you know what? Again, my heart goes out to you, but you're not bigger than what's going on. Don't ever think that. Just be you. Be happy. Go trans.
Starting point is 00:51:00 Go fucking do your thing. Don't worry about what people think about you. It's the same thing. When I got into county, I was a felon. I would tell people I'm going to be a comedian. Yeah, it hurt my feelings for a while until I fucking committed to it. And then like fuck you. You didn't have my back.
Starting point is 00:51:17 So now I'm moving the fuck on. And for the employees at Spotify now with Rogan or whatever, didn't you know? Money. Money beats everything. Money is the root of all fucking evil. And as much as it hurts, it hurts, you know? I know this time is when I was with an agent and I didn't like things that were going on with another client was a jealousy.
Starting point is 00:51:39 No, I didn't like him. But guess what? It's got nothing to do with me. All I need to do is get up in the morning, take my vitamins, bang one out, do some pushups and go out there and be the best that I could fucking be. And that's it. And that's that. It's a beautiful motherfucking day to be alive this Wednesday to 26th.
Starting point is 00:51:57 I'm excited. The month is over next Monday. There'll be a last podcast for the month. I got some surprises for February. I'm having a birthday in February. I'm doing a couple of things in February. Ari Shafia is doing a storytelling show at the Gramercy Theater February 8th. Get your tickets.
Starting point is 00:52:15 It's all fucking, you know, no lineup. That's the way I like Ari does it. Will I be there? I'm not sure. I don't know. I don't have a story. The only way I'll know is if I get up that morning that night at six o'clock and I'm like, I feel like going to the Gramercy Theater.
Starting point is 00:52:32 So I'm not making any promises. I'm just shedding some light on the show. I'm excited for Ari because he's going to start this over again under a new name. And that fucking that story show did more for me than my fucking Netflix special. It did more for me than the other special. Those things on Comedy Central fucking leveled me, man. So I'm forever grateful to Ari. If I do grace the stage again, it'll probably be out one of those story telling things,
Starting point is 00:53:07 but I'm not sure about the eighth. He's going to have it every fucking month. But go to Gramercy Park, whatever the theater is, infogramercy.com, whatever the fucking is. Google it and see what the rules are. I know you're going to need a fucking vaccine card and a mask. So, you know, do what you need to do. I understand if you can't go. But hey, if you could support Ari Shafir, that would be fucking trimming BCMO also.
Starting point is 00:53:38 As you guys could tell, I found a winning combination. I had too much of a stick up my ass when I moved back here. You know, I was telling, I think my wife when I was eating breakfast this morning, I go, you know, I was on the treadmill. And I was just, that's why I like about the treadmill. I'm back to walking. I'm back to thinking, you know, and I'm thinking about good things. It's not, you know, how do I get out of this gig in fucking Ohio?
Starting point is 00:54:02 It's about all good things. I was thinking about where I really honestly was at this time last year. I wish I could take you guys there. It's, it wasn't fucking pretty. I found one of the old, that's why I was looking at the YouTube last week. That's how I knew they were putting 18 and under on them because I was going back to last January to see my eyes and shit. Guys, I was not in a good fucking place at all after that surgery between the fucking
Starting point is 00:54:33 pain pills, the fucking withdrawing from the Xanax, my anxiety. I couldn't even fucking think. I couldn't even, you know, focus on anything. I couldn't even have lunch with friends or anything. I couldn't wait for my friends to fucking leave when they were around. But I'm happy. I'm happy. I identify what was going on with me and I'm happy that it all worked out.
Starting point is 00:55:00 We're here a year later, but I'm really happy that the people who stuck it out with me fucking stuck it out with my people on Patreon. I love you motherfuckers with all my heart. I think I'm doing Brenda's Zoriga's podcast this week and I think I'm doing another one with Sickler in the next couple of weeks. I got to give them a call back and that's my itinerary, guys. I'm happy you guys checked in to the joint on January 26th, 2022. And I will see you motherfuckers Monday.
Starting point is 00:55:31 Tip Topma, do not forget this podcast was brought to you by Onit. They produce all my motherfucking podcasts. I love Onit. This week's special or supplements. 20 fucking percent off. Use Code Joey. I love you. Stay black.
Starting point is 00:55:47 Have a great weekend. And I'll see you motherfuckers nice and early. Tip Topma, go Monday morning. Love you. All right. I want to thank you guys for listening to me fuck around about Neil Young today. I appreciate it. But the joint is brought to you by Zip Recruit.
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