Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #134 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: January 31, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY’S JOINT..... It’s Monday, January 31st.... This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com This episode is brought to you by Better Help, CBD Lion & DraftKings….. Go to https://www.BetterHelp.com/DIAZ Use PROMO CODE: DIAZ for 10% OFF your 1st Month! Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY For 20% OFF Your Order! Download the DraftKings SportsBook App & Enter Code: JOEY https://www.DraftKings.com/sportsbook to receive $280 in Free Bets when you Bet $5…. Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

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Check one, two. Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? Uncle Joey here. Monday, my favorite day of the week, the 31st of January. It's fucking over. That's it. The beginning of the year blues. Listen, January's usually suck dick. Nobody can make a decision. They don't know because nothing really happens till fucking February 14th. That's when people come out of their coma. They get their credit card bill. Right now, people are getting their fucking credit card bill from Christmas. They're getting a weird motherfucking surprise. That's what happens. Now most people are like, fucking, I'm waiting for my tax return. Tax return? Are you kidding me?

Unless you do the fucking quick tax or whatever the fuck. But anyway. But now, that's it. February's a little better. You got over your little motherfucking... You said you were going to lose 50 pounds, three days in, you ate a chocolate cake. Fuck it. Now we know where we stand. And that's it. It's February 1st. Fucking tomorrow. The best thing about February 1st, not that the renters do, but the best thing about February 1st is Ice Cream Shot. My little beautiful motherfuckers up there in Studio City are releasing the... Like they're doing like... What's that movie they're fucking? What's his name? Six Degrees of Separation, right? So okay. So we came up with the cocoa weed, right?

But what they want to do is, under the laughing gas banner, is release like three or four other brands that are fucking tremendous. The one that's getting released tomorrow is a brand called White Truffle. You get it up at Ice Cream Shop and I got two other places that are gonna have it. I'll mention to you. I'll fucking put it on Twitter with some shit just to let you know we got a couple different smoke shops. So tomorrow is White Truffle. Me personally, I don't have any on me because I smoked it. That's why I don't have any. The last time I had an eighth of it was probably the beginning of December and it is fucking strong. It's fucking pretty and it does not fuck around. Then they're gonna release a different cocoa than a fucking sashimi and some shit.

But anyway, you put it. All these weeds are gonna fucking knock you to fuck down. We got the hybrid. We got the fucking sativa. We got the indica. This will all be within the laughing gas label. This is a little bag just to make it official to let your motherfuckers know how we do it. So you're walking down the street like Joe LaBamba with your little fucking weed bag. You can't do that now in California because somebody will fucking pull over and take that motherfucker from you. But this is the new laughing gas. This is the new bags, the laughing gas. Same reefer. Same motherfucking quality. Trust me.

And just a little cool little fucking package. We're gonna be getting the t-shirts and the hoods. Here you go, brother. And then the edible of the week. Listen, it's Monday morning. I like to start the week right off the motherfucking box. If you don't think I smoked dope this morning out of your fucking mind, I can't do it no more. I do my shit in the morning. I wash my pussy. I eat breakfast. Mercy goes on the fucking bus. And after I get a little woken up, see, in L.A. what I was doing is I wasn't even awake. And I was smoking ten-bong. That's not bueno. No wonder you need coffee in an hour. That's not bueno. That's not civilized. It's not fucking human.

So now it's nice and easy. You see what I'm saying? When I get up during the week now, I get up, I go outside regardless of what the fucking temperature is. I'm out there with my cup of coffee. Some days I could stand. Some days there's snow on my chair. You know what I'm saying? I can't sit. But most of the time I just sit and I look. I sit out there for about 10, 15 minutes. And I tell the world I'm fucking grateful. I'm grateful for what I got. And now nobody's gonna take it from me today. I'm grateful for where I'm at today. I say all that shit, you know, just to remind yourself that you don't go fucking nuts.

I look into the trees and the wilderness. I thank God for giving me another day. I finish my fucking balls. I finish my cup of coffee and I come downstairs. I gotta do shit in the morning. I gotta write journals and shit. But after all that's done, I eat my breakfast. I go upstairs. It's about fucking 8 o'clock. No, it's about 7.45 by now. I wash my little monkey. I eat my breakfast just two eggs with a piece of wheat toast. It's quick. I just eat the yolks. If you think I'm gonna sit there and regurgitate those fucking whites, you're out of your fucking mind. And then I start my fucking day.

And then at about 9.30, 10 is when I hit the pipe of life. Maybe two, maybe three little bong hits on the fucking pipe from the freeze pipe. And that shit sets me off to like 5 or 6 in the afternoon. There's no more fucking smoking at 1, 2. And guess what? I get my daily requirements. I smoke at like 10. I smoke before it's 2 o'clock. My vitamins are good. I got some fucking oil in the joints and we're ready to go. But it's Monday morning. Who the fuck are you kidding? If we're gonna be ready to go, I got these sent to me. They're at Tommy Chung's. My man, I love him to death.

He's got cannabis infused. Premium THC strips, chocolate mint. I mean, Mike will have to do a couple, you know what I'm saying? Mike's gotta drive home in the snow, let him play bumper cars if he wants. Who gives a fuck? It's tremendous. I like all this stuff. I like when they put the reefer in the fucking packaging. This is very neat. This is very well done. These are not the original breast strips. I don't know what happened to that company. But when the Medical Marijuana Crit LA, there were these fucking breast strips

that would knock your dick in the dirt. And I would always make mistakes because you don't put them in your fucking... The good thing I like about this is you don't put it in your motherfucking wallet. You could put it in your wallet. See, the other ones came in like a baggie and then you took them out and you put them in your fucking wallet, you know, so when you're ready to go, like a condom, you never know when you're ready to go, right? You go into a fucking classroom. It's kind of boring. You're like, you know what? I'll drop a 50 milligram strip. These are just 10s. I had two of them the other day.

That's 10 servings of 10 milligrams. That's 100, this one. 100. That's what I took it out of my mouth for a second. I was like, wait, was that... I said 10 servings of 10 milligrams. So that's 100 for that one. I'm like, hey, break it. Well, fuck it. We might as well do two, you know what I'm saying? It's that type of Monday. It's the 31st.

We got to celebrate the ending of the fucking January. We did it. We pushed through snow blizzards, shovels. Let me tell you something. I was watching that snowstorm since motherfucking Friday night. It started snowing Friday and they're like, well, get ready for eight o'clock. The snow's about to come down, bitch. It was coming down at eight o'clock Friday fucking morning. I swear to God, there was snow already coming down.

It wasn't sticking, but it was fucking coming down with a vengeance jack. And then it stopped. And then about just when they... Listen, my love goes out. I love weather people because they were always fucking wrong. But they are. They really are. You got to work with them, dog. Like I told you before, the weather is a fucking... What do you call that word? It's a hypothesis, which is an educated guess. It's like when you buy sports information from my man, Stu Finer, who's one of the best in the fucking business.

When you buy sports information from him, it's a hypothesis. You understand me? But he's been in the game for 50 fucking years. So if you're going to take advice from somebody, it's from him. When I see a 22-year-old, like a 29-year-old or 30-year-old weatherman, suck my dick. You're not going to tell me nothing. I don't know. I love these people who look on their phones to see what the weather is. What if I'm opening up the fucking window looking outside? I'll tell you what it's like. It's cold, motherfucker.

It's January and Jersey, which means take a fucking hooded sweatshirt. Just in case it gets cold, if it gets warm, you can put the sweatshirt around your fucking waist and walk around like Axl Rose on the fucking 87 tour. You know what I'm saying? The one when they did live at the Ritz. They put the white shirt with the fucking sweatshirt around. Fuck you. Axl was a bad motherfucker now. He looks worse than I do. That motherfucker looks like he ate 10 cheeseburgers and never looked back, but he can still fucking sing.

Anyway, it's Monday morning. We ain't going to just do one. You know what I'm saying? We got to hit this motherfucker with a duke because that's how we do it here. Uncle Joey's joint. Why call it the fucking joint, correct? For a long time, I gave you guys a little fucking breather. We were getting our heads together, but now it's together. The goals are intact. So you got to cut it up from time to time.

Fuckin' tremendous. A little chocolate mint. Fuckin' Cheech and Chang. Oh, Chang always putting things down. Is that 100 milligrams? Are you fucking sure? I mean, this is the bag, sir. What are you blocking me for? You told me.

They taste good. Are there 10 in that thing? Yeah. Yeah, that's what I said to you. There's 10 in there, and there's one, two, three, four. I ate two. You ate two. That's eight, and I ate two the other night. So there you go. I got 40 milligrams left. Obviously, these things are like, it's like going to a restaurant ordering an appetizer, and the appetizer come young.

When you got a shrimp cocktail and you got like five shrimp cocktails, it's like eating two out of five, you know what I'm saying? It ain't gonna do nothing for you, but at least you had it. It's in the blood system, and hopefully later on, I haven't been fucking killing the edibles, but I will tell you one thing. You know, people hit me up all the time. Some fucking joke at the other night said, get Joey, better fucking edibles, time to go fuck himself out.

These fucking stupid people. You know, ABX is my number one go-to edible. Well, why do I know? Because myself and many people have had heart attacks on them. You know, we don't need edibles to jump up and down and get in a conga circle, you know, with our friends with dirty feet. That's not why we eat them. We eat fucking edibles to be like this.

Whether with headphones on or in front of the TV, that's why I eat edibles. If you think I eat edibles to, you know, go to fucking Fuego Man, whatever, Fire Man, and hang out with people and drink fucking from Chick's titties that just had a kid and they fucking, yeah, burning man. That's not what I want to do at all. I want to fucking do an edible and just be like this. Whether it's in the front seat of my car, not driving,

whether it's on my couch, whether it's on the chair, I just want to be fucking stoned. Nobody has put more people under the trenches than ABX edibles. Everybody has called me with their saga and their story. The Stars of Death also had a tremendous reputation. Fucking wherever Owen Benjamin lives, the Stars don't even come out at night. That motherfucker will never want to see a star again.

So we've been through some fucking edibles. I'm very experienced. I enjoy going down. I've puked a couple times. Tremendous. It's like when you do heroin, you've got to puke a little. It'll let you know it's good. When you puke an edible, you have fucking arrived. Let me tell you something. There's different colors to the puke of an edible.

If you puke white, you've got to puke green. Mixed with a little blood, that's when you fuck it at Eureka. I'm only kidding you about the blood. There's a lot of people watching right now going, blood, oh my God, we were late now. There's no blood coming out of nowhere. It's just a joke, people. Bro, when you puke the green stuff from a fucking edible,

that's, I remember on that old, the fucking banana bread with the chocolate chips in that motherfucker. Let me tell you something, guys. I think, well, that was also the beginning of the fucking going to see the devil. Like that was putting you out. The beginning was, uh, Kushmart had the fucking salt and taffy, whatever that fucking thing was, that would put you over

that fucking, uh, no milligram brownie. Gave me that restless leg syndrome. You know these people, you have restless leg syndrome. Dog, don't take the edibles from Kushmart. I was on a fucking plane from LA to Pittsburgh and my mother fucking legs, I was sitting in the back and my fucking legs were like that dancer. Whatever his name is, just name a dancer who moves quickly.

That's how my legs were. I'm fatter than a fuck and I'm sitting there with a half a fag and blanking on me and my legs are fucking bouncing. That's the worst reaction you get to the edible. And I'll be honest with you, the last time I did one of those 987 milligram tubes that happened to me through that night, that's the last time I touched those tubes. One night I made the fucking tea of debt

and I put that tube in that motherfucker and dog, my legs were bouncing. I couldn't even fall asleep. But my legs kept fucking bouncing. I felt like, you ever see those puppets when they pull your fucking legs up? I swear to God, I was falling asleep and I could see my legs bouncing.

So I don't advise those edibles. I don't like that feeling. I like to see the devil. I like to have my mouth open. If I feel a little drool, so be it, then you really did something good. But the edibles I prefer the most, the ABX to see the devil. And I'm gonna tell you which ones I picked up in Jersey

that will kill you. They will kill you. I have never giggled that much. The other night I ate 300 milligrams a true dose edibles. That is little tiny fucking gummy bears. They don't look like shit. I picked them up about six weeks ago

and I went to a party, like not a party. I went to a football party, a gym. And there's two professionals over there and we don't smoke them. We're at Jimmy's. Nobody smokes over there. So I gave my boy, I test them. I gave them both. They're 15 milligrams. I mean, they're the tiniest fucking gummy bear

you'll ever see in your life. Great flavors. They got Coca-Cola, pineapple. They don't fuck around over that true dose. It looks like a wallet. It comes in a little box that looks like a wallet. And you open it up and it has a baggy inside similar to this. And you fucking don't even bother trying to open it. Just cut the motherfucker with a scissors.

That's why when you open it, make sure you're going down deep and you got the soldiers there with you. Like if you don't like going deep, I'm going to tell you something. If you eat 45 milligrams of the true dose edibles, it's like eating, fuck, 200. I mean, it will fuck you up.

The first time I came up on them, I gave two of them one to a friend of mine, one to one buddy and one to the other one. I swear to God, these guys are loud like me and obnoxious and they fucking crack jokes. I was sitting there like, well, these motherfuckers haven't said a word in like 15 minutes. I looked over at them,

both their eyes were fucking Chinese. I mean, they were like this and I asked the one guy, hey, how you doing? He goes, I was like, holy fuck. These guys have been smoking dope for 40 years. They're in their 50s. They're in my age. They've been smoking dope for 40 years.

Both of them were fucking lit. When I mean, they didn't say a word for an hour, then you know how an edible slips up on you. It eases up the fucking headlock a little bit and eased it up. And then they were like, ooh, they started eating chicken wings and potato chips and going to the bathroom.

I asked them how are those fucking edibles? They're like tremendous. So I had 300 milligrams, minus 30, is 270. I said, fuck it, take a chance, Columbus did. Let's see, if they do me in, these things are fucking tremendous. They did these two savages in with 15. They're going to fuck me up. So I dropped the whole bag of them.

There's no looking back. I just opened it and tipped my head and the whole chunk came out because sometimes if you're lucky, the gummies get together, they melt together in your pocket. Dog, I was fucked. The water went down the wrong tube. The water went down the wrong tube. It happens.

I'm sorry about that. Dog, I ate those 270 milligrams and I was fucked up. And about a week later, I called and got like two more of those boxes because that's all I could get. Because they're pretty pricey, but they had a sale and I caught the fucking sale and they only had a couple of Coca-Cola's.

I didn't like the Kiwi. I didn't like the Kiwi flavor. Holy fuck. I think Tuesday night maybe, Tuesday or Wednesday night. Monday had to be like Tuesday night. I fucking ate a whole bag just about six o'clock. I got back from kickboxing with Mercy and I'm like, you know what?

Nothing's crack or lacking tonight. I'm just going to watch a couple fucking episodes or a while and get fucked up. I ate the whole box about six o'clock. Dog, by 9.30, I couldn't stop fucking giggling. I called Lee and tortured him a little bit. And fucking. I called a friend of mine and tortured him.

There's a dude on Facebook. That's been hit me up. I got to say for like a fucking year. I don't know what the kid's name is. He's a nice kid, but he started hitting me up when I was moving in the process of moving. You know, and I, he hit me up and he goes, hey, I'm doing this podcast.

Can you come on like a dog? I'm in the process of moving right now. Hit me up and like, you know, four or five months. When you say that to people, they disappear. You know, I explained them. I was moving that I would be more than willing to help him out, but I was moving. So I forgot all about it.

This motherfucker starts hit me up about, I don't know, like last September. And he's like, Joey, you know, I haven't listened to the podcast, but I know you're probably settled and stuff. And it was still when I was going to the tail end of my shit. It was like the beginning of September and I said, dog, listen, I'm living on fucking zoom now. I ain't fucking doing zoom.

You know, I got to do them for these. I mean, there's no other way for right now. But for right now, give me a breather with the fucking zooms. I don't really want to do any zoom podcast. I mean, I'm just, unless it's like a sickler, which I like to do this week. I mean, I was supposed to do this girls last week, but the fucking snowstorm fucked it all up for us.

You know, I really, unless I really know you, I don't, but if I don't know you as zooms, not going to work. It's not going to work unless I'm in studio or something. So, you know, dog, he hits me up. I got to tell you every day and we do the podcast today and I've noticed there's something wrong with him. He's like, can we do the podcast today? Can we do the podcast?

And I just hit him with thumbs up. And you know, this has been going on since fucking like November. So there's only one person who understands this and that's Lee. So that night I thought about it. I'm like, Lee, you're not going to believe this. That dude has still hit me up for the podcast. And I just keep giving him thumbs up. And he's like, so what does this mean?

And I'm like, Jesus Christ, you can't be this fucking dumb. Like he just, you know, like give it a breather. Once we go back to fucking regular living without people being, I mean, the numbers are going down. Thank God. Oh, that's what they're telling us this week. Who the fuck knows? Just live your life.

If they want you to wear a mask, you put it on. If not, I fucking, I don't give a fuck anymore. We've been breathing cocked air and fucking you ever go to us. You know, I was thinking about that the other day. Like when you're a kid, I used to go to 40 second street. Some people were talking about the old time square. I'm like, if you want to man, breathe, I'm surprised when I fucking pregnant through air, whatever. Like if you get pregnant from sucking dick in the air or some shit,

you'd walk into those places. You got to assume that there's 30 guys jerking off at one time. And those fucking Pee Wee hubs, you know, those Pee Wee Herman hubs, whatever the fuck you call them. And you're in there walking around looking for chains for tokens. That sperm's got to release some toxic fucking air. And nobody ever died in those fucking places. So it's like, I don't even know what I'm talking about.

But you guys know what I'm saying. If you, you know, for years you breathe all this shit and now you got to wear fucking masks. It just don't make sense to me either. But I do what they tell me. What am I going to do? If it makes life easier for the guy next to me. But you guys know where I stand with this shit.

Every week is a new fucking adventure. I'm through with it. I'm just moving on to smoking dope in the daytime, not giving a fuck. And whatever happens, happens. You do your fucking push-ups. You write your goals, you eat your carrots. And that's it.

You're ready to fucking go. What are you scared about? If you die, that's it. What are you going to live for fucking ever? Tell me the truth. You want to be Betty White, 99 years old. Your pussy closes up. You have problems shitting.

Nobody wants to bang you. You're walking around. You got to take 8,000 medications. So before you want to live to 100, it's better want than to have. A wise old man told me that. It's better to want than to have. That's it.

I don't know what else to fucking tell you. Obviously this fucking 20 milligram put a jolt to me. I'm feeling fucking great right now. I was telling Mike the fucking I'm telling you guys, shoveling snow is a fucking savage. You know, when they tell you like if you're over 50, don't go out there and shovel snow. What are you going to do?

Wait for a kid to walk and knock on your door. Those fucking aggressive kids have disappeared. Nobody knocked on my door saying, hey, mister, you want to give us 30 bucks if we shovel your thing, not one fucking person. It's unreal that that whole generation fucking disappeared. Yesterday was a big motherfucking money day for me when I was a kid in North Bergen.

Shit. Shit. With all those fucking hills, we would get our shit done as soon as snow. I think this shit started with a listen. I never, I never even knew there was living in snow. Those Jersey kids don't make a living out of fucking anything. That's why I give them credit.

I swear to God, when I was a kid, if you didn't hustle as a kid, you fell the fuck behind. It didn't matter that you played football or wrestled or got A's. You had to make fucking cash when I was a kid. You're not going to fucking become a millionaire, but I knew kids that became fucking really successful and had a start at life from the money they made just between the newspaper routes,

between the fucking shoveling snows and shoveling cars, between I knew a kid. What the fuck was his name? I grew up in Louis Dunn Charles Court. This motherfucker bought a lawnmower when he was like fucking 12, and he would just hop, you know, everybody else is jumping up and down, smoking dump. Ha!

Let's party. This, I used to even like, I never tortured them, but I goofed on them a little bit, don't you? What do you do with all this money? And he goes, I'm putting it away for a car. Well, guess what? At 17, I think his parents told me they were going to give him a $3,000 budget.

He showed up at like four or five that he had put away from cutting fucking lawns, and they had to match it so he ended up putting it down. It was fucking crazy. I couldn't even put two nickels together when I was fucking 17. I didn't have no money that I'd saved. The money I had in the bank was a number I hit

on my birthday in 1979. That's the only money I had put away, and after my mother died, I spent it, but I had like, I gotta say, I had like five friends, fucking Jimmy Labrano put himself through fucking college, pumping gas until this day. I love him with all my fucking heart. We haven't spoken in a few months,

but at the utmost respect at that age, I couldn't put anything together. I couldn't even pay a fucking rent that was $100 a fucking month. Never mind a college bill. I don't even know how to fill out a fucking college bill. But that's one thing about growing up in Jersey Doug, all the winters, and I went around with the car yesterday and drove around.

There was not one fucking kid out. If they're not sledding, they ain't out. They're inside playing computers or whatever the fuck they play. But man, when it snowed in my neighbor, when I was a kid, we were out of the house by eight motherfucking a.m., knocking on people's door. Every 15 minutes you hear beep, beep, beep.

You gotta go help a guy, dog. We wouldn't fucking touch your car until we saw cash. We were ruthless. It was like me, Sabatino, Speciale, the young one, Mike, but Anthony got restless. So there was like eight of us that would just hang out on Union Turnpike and just wait for motherfuckers to get stuck.

And we tell them, how much to pull us out? Ten bucks. Ten bucks. That's too much. What's your option? You sending me else walking on these fucking streets? You better dig deep in that pocket for that $10 bill. We'll move on to the old lady down the corner. And Doug, that's the way it was all day. We just push, push, push.

And we push and motherfuckers would fall. Nobody ever got hit by a car. It was tremendous. And we all went home with 50 to 80 fucking dollars. This is 40 years ago, guys. But sometimes we had $100. Maybe on my newspaper route, I was making a half a yard a week.

That's fucking insane. For a kid at that age, 1977, 1976, I was a fucking geek at that time. Once a listen, the great Bill Hicks one said, Smoking bot, don't make it fucking lazy. It just makes you realize that what you're going to do ain't worth it. You know what I'm saying? That's what the great Bill Hicks one said.

And I stuck with it. That's a tremendous joke. He used it on not the Rodney special. Yeah, it could have been the Rodney special. Well, he said, listen, smoking weed, because he went off on motherfuckers who smoke weed and jump out a window and all that shit. He's like, you dumb motherfuckers, you're fucking up for all of us.

We're just stupidity and all that shit. But it really is the truth that fucking, if, you know, sometimes you smoke weed and you're like, I'm not going down there. That's what he said. He goes, I'm not going to go down there and fucking sweep. I don't need to do that shit. But it's the fucking truth.

Like sometimes you get high and you're like, it's not going to fucking happen. I'm not going to go down there. But at that age, man, we hustled off. And listen, I got nothing against the youth of America today. They're all going to be able to fucking fire a missile from their living room when they're fucking 18, including my daughter. I don't know what they do on that phone all day

or what they do on that fucking computer. I look over her shoulder and she's playing fucking games and stuff. We cut out the YouTube shit. You cannot watch fucking YouTube and she wanted to put up her own page. She can't handle kids saying you suck. She's too young for that. You know, she's too fucking young for that. I want to, so like, I didn't even know I had my friend's kid.

He said something about TikTok and I asked the dad, he's got a TikTok. And he goes, dog, he's got a TikTok, but it's the light one. They can't see remarks or you can't see comments. He disabled the fucking comments for the kids. Me, I don't give a fuck what you write in the fucking comments. You're the one that's watching and fuck. I don't give a fuck. And like I told you guys, those comments to me, I mean, you know, guns and roses.

That's what I knew, like listen, I knew before this. But when you look at guns and roses, is it November, right? Wasn't it the first video they hit a billion? Now they have two of them. Guns and roses, the first band to have two videos that have hit over a billion likes. But if you go on a billion likes, go look at it. This is how you know it's real. There's, I don't know, a million dislikes.

So when you look at November rain and you go, wow. I mean, to me, that's some of guns and roses best shit is use your illusion one and two. They really morphed into each other. They were fucking great. Those two albums. When I see that, that there's a million dislikes. Well, first of all, they got a billion fucking likes. So a million don't even put a dent in your car.

But you think about it, a fucking million dislikes. Who the fuck are these people? What do you listen to banjo music or something? You don't like November rain. And the other one that they have is also a great one. And this times I watch like whenever for a long time, I don't do it anymore. But for a long time when I was learning the computer, I would go on there and put on YouTube videos. And that'd be a great band.

It'd be like somebody fucking great like Alice in chains, rotten apple or something. And they'd be like, you know, they have 800,000 likes and you still got 100,000 people. And if you read the comments, oh my God, you know, this is great music. You know, fucking whatever his name was, was great. And then it's like fucking just attacking them. You heroin motherfuckers, you should all died. And I'm like, if you take this shit seriously, then there's something fucking wrong with you. You know, right now it's really interesting because on the album of the week on Patreon right now, I've just cut like a big gap out because from 87.

I mean, like before I got locked up, I wasn't really listening to anything solid. It was white snake. That was good. That white snake was doing something. Death lepid pour some sugar on me, whatever that album was. I don't know if it's hysteria. I don't know. I was listening to like, then when I got locked up, the big albums were guns and roses.

You know, the first one, whatever the sweet child of mine or that shit, appetite for destruction. Bobby Brown, Don't Be Cruel was a huge fucking hit in prison. Tremendous. Great fucking album. Great fucking song. Brothers went nuts when we put that on. So the bikers and the white dudes listened to guns and roses. The brothers listened to a lot of Bobby Brown and I don't know.

Oh, too short. Too short. Is that his name? Too short or there was a girl. Her name was Lena. Suck my dick with a bottle of wine. You know, it was too short. Yeah, too short on an Oakland.

Too short. They listened to that stuff. They listened to, what was the other jam they listened to in there? I forget what that, for the love of Francis. I forget the name of that band. There was a lot of like, like technical stuff. There was really nothing solid. And then when I got out of jail, we got into the halfway house.

There was these white dudes at the halfway house and one day I don't know. They were listening to fucking pro jam assumption. It sounded okay. You know, and I don't know. I was still into black Sabbath and all my stupidity. To be honest with you, I was just listening to fucking, I was just doing coke. You know, I was just busy doing coke, trying to get my life together. I wasn't really, you know, reading cream magazine or Rolling Stone anymore.

He vowed from that shit. But the first time I woke up from my drug coma was 92, 93, and I would watch MTV. I had a Sony Trinitron and that's all I did was watch MTV. You know, and eventually this came on, you know, Jeremy and fucking smells like Teen Spirit came on for a while. I forget the other video that I really liked from Nirvana. And then fucking, when I discovered Soundgarden, I almost jumped out of fucking window and then Allison Chains and then I was blessed by being able to move up there.

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And now, back to the joint. You know, I went up there to chase a skirt and to do comedy. You know, just not knowing that fucking this is what was going on around me. So once I got up there, I got to listen to Mother Love Bone. Like, I could tell you guys, oh, I want to see Mother Love Bone. No, I didn't. No, I didn't. I didn't know any of this shit.

I didn't know the history until I moved to Seattle. And then, you know, smoking dope with people and all that shit they let you know. Like, there was a lot of fucking grudge historians up there, as you could say. You know, everybody knew Chris Cornell. Everybody was personal friends with him. But it didn't matter. It was just great. Like, I was in part of that 60.

Yeah. I like Neil Young. I like Eric Clapton. I like, you know, there's a lot of people in there that the Almond Brothers, you know, all those great recordings, I like Led Zeppelin. I never got to see them. And I never got to see them blow up from the beginning. Do you know what I mean?

Like, I joined in when the party had already started. In fact, by the time I got into Zeppelin, Zeppelin had already killed like three underage girls. They already fucking shot her wind to fucking, you know, by the time I got into these bands, AC DC, by the time I got into them, you know, it was Power Rage into Highway L and then Bond Scott died. But Pearl Jam, all these guys, I had a fucking, is Pearl Jam 10? Pearl Jam's first down? I don't think so.

I don't think so, but I'm not sure. Don't quote me on that. But that, you know, 10, super unknown and never mind by Nirvana, they fucking rocked my world. You know what I'm saying? So it's so weird how I was part of that. Like I could consider my, like I still remember going to Giggles motherfucking comedy club. I used to go to Giggles, I don't know, every other week and then I started working every week. But at Giggles, this is the weirdest thing.

There was a girl I just bought weed from. She was a hippie chick, really cute, really attractive. You know, she liked me because I was dirty on stage. Some of the waitresses thought I was, you know, because nobody else was balls enough to get dirty in that because the owner of the club was a Vietnam vet and he got shot down on a plane or some shit. You know, and he didn't want to fuck and he bought the club and he didn't want to hear dirty stuff. And it was crazy. But I would always go on stage before the guy got there, which gave me, you know, 45 minutes to be dirty.

As soon as I saw his Jaguar pull in the window from the stage, think about it. Motherfucker had a stage and a little window on the bottom. So I could see when his car pulled up. And once his car pulled up, I would wrap it up. I'd do the five minutes of knock, knock jokes that I have, you know, what animal don't you play cards with a cheetah? The audience would look at me all fucking weird and I would get off there. But this little waitress, I would always go on Thursday nights.

Friday nights I had plans afterward, but like Saturdays, you hang out with the staff. When you're a comedian on Saturday nights, you can hang out with the staff. And on Thursday nights, since there's only one show, you get out of there at 10, 10.30, you can hang out with the staff. And every time I would get like reefer from, I think I also cop coke from her a couple of times. You'd always say to me, if you want, we could go up the fucking whatever hill and party out with Allison Chains. And I would go, what? Allison Chains. You know, at first I was excited about him.

Like, fuck yeah. And she's like, yeah, but the problem is they might shoot heroin. I was like, let's lay off that for right now. It wasn't that I was a pussy or whatever. You guys know I'm in whatever. I'm in through the outdoor. If you have it, run it by me. Well, I want to do it at that time.

Do I have plans? Maybe I had plans that night. I couldn't put heroin, but they were shooting heroin. I can't listen. I put a needle with heroin in my arm. That'll be the last time you see me guys. That would be it. You guys know it's tough for me to give a fucking blood test.

Never mind heroin in my fucking arm. So if she would have said to me, yeah, they snort white heroin or whatever, you could just come up, hang out. Something didn't feel right. And I got to tell you something. Every time I think of how many times she invited me, I want to jump out of a fucking window.

I should have just gone up. And when they would have passed the syringe, I could have just shot it behind my neck. And I asked them questions like, how did you write the rooster? All these fucking great songs you put out. But you look back and you go, what the fuck was I thinking? But it was really cool. I had the opportunity to live there.

When I was there, I ended up going to see Soundgarden. They were not good. I cannot lie to you. I know you guys will love for me to tell you that we're great. I got to jump up and down with Chris. He gave me a fucking Xanax. But it wasn't that type of story. Not that I went to see him at the Old Improv.

If you go to downtown Seattle, it's a fucking weird. Right by the market, one of that market you see on TV, it was right Pikespeak Market, whatever the fuck it's called. Pikespeak Market goes that way. If you cross the street, the Old Improv was there. They changed the name of it. And then if you cross the street, it's Deja Vu. 64 good looking ones, three ugly ones.

That was what they said. I don't know, three chubby ones. I don't know what the fuck they said. But I had done comedy there a couple of times at the Improv. It was not the Improv. They changed it to like a music club. And then after they put out their last studio album, I forget what it's called.

Into the Outdoor. That's Led Zeppelin. Up the upside. It's got blow up the outside world. It's got Rainer Saw. It's got some great fucking songs on it. They did a little world tour. Like a small tour and they did a show at the Improv and I went.

And his voice was gone. Chris Cornell's voice was gone. I was so fucking sad. But it was great to see him. They did Rusty Cage. He did a fellow, you know, Black Days. They did all my favorites. The bass player or the drummer from Soundgarden.

I think it's the bass player. Had a club in downtown Seattle at the time. Something out in it. Ben Shepard. Something like that. So Josh. Whoa. Slowbo Loco was just down the block from Ben Shepard.

We would walk in there. Listen, I didn't know nobody in there. I never met Ben Shepard. I don't know nobody. I went in there. I got a couple of beers. I looked around. I didn't see anybody I wanted to hang out with.

And I abandoned the ship. That's what you do. I thought, you know, my demented drug mind. I thought Chris Cornell was going to be down there hanging out with the boys. But there was no fucking Chris Cornell. Nobody. But it was a nice fucking experience for me living in Seattle.

And you know, I think about, I haven't been there since I left. When I left Seattle, I left Seattle. Like my asshole was on fire and the well was in Mexico. I had to get the fuck out. They gave me like an ultimatum. The court was like, you got to go. We'll let you go, but don't come back. How's that deal?

I was like tremendous and I abandoned ship. And I got the fuck out of there. And that was the end of my Seattle days. But it was a good time. I became a good comic up there. I learned a lot about comedy. I made friends with Josh Wolf. I became friends with Mitch Hedberg.

It was quite the fucking comedy experience. And it was all led by music. It's a weird fucking story. When I had the opportunity to follow a girl up there, I was like, Seattle. I never fucking, the sun don't come out. And I was like, wait a second. They got good food.

No, they got shitty fucking weather, but they got a good music scene. Bruce Lee's buried up there. I got to go up there and pay my respects. And if Bruce Lee's buried up there, that means they got to have good Chinese food up there. Plus I get to hang out with a girl. You know what I'm saying?

Who's better than me? I'm sitting here in Boulder snorting Coke in a rocky apartment. What am I going to do with my life? So I took a chance like Columbus. I ended up in Seattle and I looked back at it today and it was fucking dying in my door. I want to go back. I miss a piece of salmon from time to time from this.

In fact, I used to go to a place to eat salmon. The only place I would go to, well, Rod Long used to take me to eat salmon. But that's where Chris Cornell worked. When he was getting Soundgarden together, he was a cook at a fish place. It's a chain. It's like the McDonald's in Seattle.

If anybody knows the name, please tweet me the fucking name because I forget what it was. But yeah, those are my memories up there, man. I had a great time up there for comedy. You know, drove to Portland a lot. It's just a different part of what I don't know. Now you got like zones and shit in your head. Black lives matter.

The jerky boys, you know, every two weeks you got a new fucking band. Every new week you got a new band up there. Or a new fucking militia. I don't know what's going on up there anymore. But I was talking to you guys about fucking the snow this weekend. You know, I was even scared to hit mic up. I'm like, I'm not going to see mic for a couple fucking days.

There ain't going to be no podcast on Monday and Wednesday this week. There was a lot of fucking snow out there. And there was something that I hadn't experienced in a long fucking time. Wind with snow. You don't think I went out there on Saturday night. I went out there to smoke dope with the fucking pipe. I couldn't do it. There was no way you fucking smokey the fire, man.

What's his name? Smokey the Bear. Couldn't light the fucking bong out there that night. I'm out there trying to hit it. And I tell you, it wasn't the wind. The wind was coming in with like fucking snow hitting in the face. I hadn't had that shit since I robbed that liquor store. Since I robbed that jewelry store in Colorado. I haven't been beat up by the snow like that.

And I was out there. You know, I went out there Saturday morning. I was getting to this before and I got distracted. These fucking Cheech and Chong Tommy fucking bread strips. They're doing the trick today for 20. But guess what? We might as well kick it up to 30. You know what I'm saying?

It's Monday. What do you think there, Mike? You fuck it. You guys want a party? We got a little fucking party. We can't smoke upstairs because I can't smoke down here because of the family. But an edible. It's always good.

You know what I'm saying? It's too early for an ABX 200. I'm excited. I'm getting a new fucking dose of ABX sleeping stuff. They got a new thing. Like for my wife, they're like 10 milligrams. But with a lot of sleep in it, CBD and a lot more CBN and CBY. So just giving your heads up, mother fuckers.

That's part of my job to let you know what's coming out in the weird world. In the world of fucking marijuana and getting yourself nice and tuned up. Oh. Shark it first. Yeah. It's sharp. And your mouth is dry. It doesn't melt.

And it's chocolate mint. Like one of those fucking bars, one of those commercials, you eat the bar and your head blows back now. I don't know. Whatever the fuck the mint is. But it was funny last week. Saturday morning when I woke up, it was fucking a disaster out there. I started both cars. My wife came out.

My wife is worried about me shoveling snow and I'm worried about my wife. She's no fucking spring chicken either. So we made a deal. So she blows the snowblower and I clean around with the shovel around on the ends. I'll tell you, it was full fucking cold. The first time I went out that lasted like 10 minutes because I couldn't breathe. It was just, it was just overwhelming that the wind and shit. And I went back out and I polished off the steps.

I polished off the fucking sides. And my wife looked at me. She's like, fuck it. You're pretty good at shoveling the snow. Bitch. I did this shit for a long fucking time. I lived in Boulder and Aspen and snowmass. When you live in those places, you become a fucking snow shoveler within days.

You just become a professional. You know how to warm up your car correctly. You don't, you know, my wife's out there trying to scrape the glass. I'm like, time out. Start the fucking car first. Let it get hot and watch the snow just fucking melt off the goddamn car. And she's like, oh my God, I don't want to let both cars up. We got all plugged up with the fucking snowblower.

She paid a buck and a quarter for the snowblower. You got to see this motherfucker. Yeah, but my buddy down the corner got one for a 50. Like, you see, is that motherfucker? Oh my God. So I thought it was like three grand the one he had. He goes, no, I lifted the rock for a 50. So I said, listen, how about I lift the rock for a 20 and you do in front of my house?

We started laughing. Shit. He did the, he did the street in front of my house because it's too much. The plows hadn't even came by them. They had come like that through in the morning. It was fucking nine in the morning and it was, it was snowing like fucking an inch and a half an hour. It was coming down. It was really fucking coming down.

It was beautiful, guys. Was it cold that I freeze? I lose a finger? No. It was fucking tremendous. It's always good for you to go out there and shovel a little snow and breathe that fucking cold air. I had my boots that my wife got me for Christmas two years ago. I never put them on till this week.

Now I won't take them off. They feel tremendous. They don't smell yet. Oh, my feet are nice and warm. I went out there today with these motherfuckers. I went to the gym today and I walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes. I almost had a fucking heart attack, but I had to get done quickly because the gym was closed and I want to meet Mike and do the podcast. But who the fuck knows what I'm talking about when we were shoveling yesterday.

After my wife said that to me, I remember I was shoveling the sidewalk and it was just a straight path. I just would pick it up and then she came by and knocked it off. But it was so funny how I was thinking about me being a fuck. And we know when I say it, guys, I know you guys think it's a joke, but it's fucking sad. I was a fucking snow shoveler because they started, but I just, I took a chance. I was working for an electrician. It was getting cold. The guy that I hit with the stick at the electrical job.

I finally, because he fucking tried to get me with a knife. I hit him with the stick and then he took off. So asthma electric was kind of falling apart. The guy was going down to one crew and I was like, you know what, it's like everything else. It's like the man said, Bill Hicks, it sounded great on paper. But once I smoked, popped and slept on it, I didn't feel like taking a bus to Aspen every day. And then once I would take a bus to Aspen, I would have to walk like a half a mile, meet the electricians, load the truck, and then we would drive another hour and a half into the hills of fucking Colorado or South Colorado or Glenwood Springs and beyond.

Boomdale and shit. There's only one road to do it on. You know what? It was exciting work, like everything else you do at first. But after a while, you're like, what am I dropping in fucking lunch? What am I dropping in bus fares every fucking day? I don't get home till seven. And some guy by my house said, listen, we just do electrical shit on fucking. No construction, no light locally. His name is Jaeger. I'm an electrician. I live for Greg Jaeger. Good motherfucking. So he's like, no, I pay like 12, 10 an hour and do this shit with me for five hours a day.

I said, why not? So I helped him out like towards the active Thanksgiving in the first couple weeks of December. And one day I was at the city market and I saw a sign snow shovel is needed called Joe Coffey. I was like, what Joe Coffey is my fucking neighbor. He lives in C building. I lived in D building. So I knocked on his door and I'm like, fuck, and I want to snow shovel his job. Just stay in shape to be outside. I would do the electrician part time. I would do the snow shoveling part time and I would ski part time. I knew I was coming home in February. I just wanted to make extra fucking scratch.

But while I'm there, I'm like, holy fuck, this is a perfect job. I get this. Come outside, breathe. I got my Walkman. I could smoke dope. He wouldn't say anything for me to smoke and joke dope Joe Coffey. And I could case all the fucking buildings here. It was building C D C E F G H. There was six buildings and they had to be seven drug dealers. Walla. I'm not going anywhere. And these are the dumbest drug dealers in the world because they like to ski.

Listen, if I got a half a fucking pound of coke in my house, either my grandmother lives with me or I don't ski. Do you understand me? I'm from that fucking school. That's why old dealers always have their mother living with them or grandpa. They don't even know they're living in a drug house. You don't say nothing to them. You just put them in the bedroom, pay for the fucking groceries and pay that rent. They think they're living in Utopia. No, they're not. You buy them a nice TV and you put them in the front of the house by your window. And people think that they watch TV all day.

You guys never thought about this. Come on, guys. Who the fuck you think you're dealing with, Joey Bananas? But that's how we do it. These dumb motherfuckers, you say, let's go skiing. I would watch them get in that car. I would watch them put the skis. I would watch them forget shit and go back up. But once I knew they were gone, I knew they weren't coming back for four or three hours. They were going to ski for two and then drink on the hill for one. You know what I could do in your house in three hours? I could paint your house.

But the time you come back, it'll be painted and robbed. Who's better than Uncle Joe? I could rob your house and then paint like a door. Like, that would have been good if I could do it all over again. That's what I'd do. I'd paint the door and really fuck with them. Like, how do you know to paint my door? I never asked anybody to paint my door, but there's also an ounce of Coke missing. So every day, every fucking day, I would go out there early. There was a couple of drug dealers that were like part-time shuttle drivers.

And they stopped by the house every 20 minutes to check in on their house to do a line of Coke. And I would watch them get in that shuttle. And then when they would go deep over the hill, I'd go right over there. My friend made me a fucking Jimmy Burkle. God rest his soul. He took a fucking with those hand saws. It's like a little hand saw he had. The blade was maybe 18 inches. This motherfucker took it in the house one night. He was my roommate from North Bergen.

Straight up gangsta died a few years back. I always let a candle from him on Mondays. I want to be around to pick up the pieces. Anyway, he took the fucking door. He took it off the hinges. And he measured it just right and he figured out how to make the tool go in. Now, we had the same front door as C, F, E, G, and H. It was like a fucking no-brainer. And now you're looking at me going, Joey, you're a creepy cocksucker.

No, I'm telling you the truth. And I'm also telling you, if you move into one of those complexes, make sure you change your motherfucker a lot. Because if you're in that complex, everybody got the same lock as you do. You dumb motherfucker. You never thought about that. Everybody got the same lock. That means that there's a master. It opens up all of them. You don't want that. So after you move in, you don't even say nothing to the landlord.

You changed that fucking lock. So if you live in fucking Susquehanna apartments and there's like A, B, C, D, and you don't want people to rob, you change the fucking front lock. And now your lock is completely different from everybody else's. Nobody else thought about that shit, even the fucking smarter drug dealers with their fucking yuppie minds and their rich dads. It took a little street little demon like Uncle Joey to go, give me that fucking tool.

And all I had to do, they wouldn't even lock the top lock. Why? But oh, I always had a plan for the back door. You follow me? So if my tool went through the front door and you didn't top the top lock, if you didn't lock the top lock, then I was fucked, but never fear. Uncle Joey's here. I would walk around the back and unzip your fucking. That's why I always close my screen gate with a double fucking security because you'll be back there longer.

You'll be exposed longer. I know that a fucking kid could break through that screen door. But if you go to pull it one time and it's got two different locks, that leaves you at that lock for a longer time, which means people drive by and they'll see you in my backyard. Do you understand me? I fucking created the security in this fucking house. I'm the one that had the cameras come over.

I told him how to put the cameras in the doors. When we moved in, it took us like three months. My wife's like, wow, are you gonna get ADP? Who got ADP plus? Because I know how to deter a motherfucking burglar. How do I know? Because I was a fucking burglar. I knew what busted my chops. And I would sit there and go, how are people not looking over this,

especially when you have drugs in your house? When you got drugs in your house, you got cash in your house, your house has to be motherfucking secured. These guys wouldn't lock the top lock. You know how many of them always left the back screen door open? I say 40%. And I'll take the percentage for a window in a bathroom. 90%.

Nobody ever closes the bathroom window. Have you ever fucking thought about that? Nobody. People go in there, open it up, let the steam out, you close it. But anyway, I'm not teaching you how to be a fucking burglar. I'm just letting you know how to counter, securitize your home, be understanding. Another thing you didn't think you'd get from Uncle Joy. But all those little things would leave me out there longer.

These people never thought like that. They never thought to put a table in front of the back door. Why? I got to push it. You're still going to get in. But it buys time. It buys time for one of your neighbors to see this jerk off in your backyard or at your front door. You come to my front door, you're going to have 19 distractions. You got the people across the street. You got the Chinese people to the side.

You got the cop behind the fucking house. You got the Pumas across the street. I got eyes on my house the same way I watched these motherfuckers. But back then, people weren't doing that. God forbid, I got a kilo of coke in here. Are you fucking kidding me? I don't even put Bob White on the fucking, on the fucking, what do you call that shit, the chimney. Santa thinks he's going to make an early fucking drop into my chimney.

I chopped that chubby fuck up. But anyway, who the fuck the fuck am I talking about? It's Monday morning. It's the 31st of January. We did it. We got to the first month of 2022. It was a success. Some of us got sick. Some of us didn't. But guess what? We're here motherfuckers. And that's all that matters. It's Monday, cocksuckers. You're getting a second chance to be a fucking savage.

So take it, fill out your goals, write your fucking journal out, and get out there and be the best you that you could be. That's what I'm trying to do. I'm not trying to sell tickets. I don't want to do dick. I'm just trying to go to Jiu Jitsu a couple of days a week, finish my fucking book, and move on with my motherfucking life. What am I going to do? Do I have a schedule? I got nothing. I got nothing. I'm just living life and enjoying it in southern motherfucking New Jersey.

I'm giving Chinese food a break. I put on like 10 pounds since the holidays, and I can't fucking take it. I work myself to death during a week, walking on the treadmill doing this. So I decided, me and my wife were talking the other day. Last time I had Chinese, I didn't feel good then, and this is great Chinese food. It's great Chinese food. It's clean. I've never gotten sick off the pork there. I get the fucking sesh one. Twice cooked pork. Holy fuck. It's so fucking delicious.

But anyway, that's my plans for now. February, I'm doing a couple things. Don't forget, the 8th of February, the Grammar State Theater in New York, Ari's doing his renamed storyteller's show. I do not know if I'm going to be there. It's the 31st, and I haven't even opened the notebook. I'm still working on finishing the book. We got maybe four more chapters left on the fucking book.

Guys, it took me eight to ten years to write the fucking outline. We have written the book myself and Erica Florentine in a fucking year. Listen, I don't know if the book's going to be any good. I don't know if it's going to be bad. I don't give a fuck. I mean, the publishers will clean it up and have editors and all that stuff. And it's going to be a great book. You understand what I'm saying, dude. But in my world, it was just a goal to do. So last year, even though I was withdrawn, even though I had the knee surgery,

even though I wasn't doing much, but a podcast, I fucking put together a book. And it was hard work, man. You got to think. You got to outline at night. You know, it's like a fucking two hours at night for me to do that. I got to get high. I got to think. I got to make phone calls. I got to look at my IMDb. It's fucking rough to kick up the memories, especially. You know what we were doing on the church? We were fucking killing our memory. I don't remember shit. It's just starting to come back to me. And this little time I've had the last three months has been great

because I've been unwinding and making little fucking notes and going, wow, I should have caught this then. I should have taken care of this then. But hey, life is life. We're done. You don't think that matters today? It's Monday. I'm looking over here. Fuck. It's like a battlefield. We destroyed Chang today. How many you eat? Three and I ate three too. So that's 30 a piece. That's pussy shit. But it's early. You know what I'm saying? And we got a couple more to finish. And that's it. And that's that, guys. Tommy Chung's chocolate mint.

I love everything about him. He did a nice package. He's taken care of you. Like I said, I like that to individually wrap because if you get it like in the old ones, yeah, they would give you 500 when you took 500 milligrams. So let's say five of them. But after you took one and you put it in your wallet, the other four would melt into one. Now you were forced to either take the whole one, cut it in half. And you know, in our world, we just take the whole one. Why fuck around? You understand me? So that's it. And that's that, guys. It's a fucking Monday morning fucking wrap it on. I don't know why I got the energy today,

but I got it. I'm feeling good. I'm looking good. I'm talking to Joe about going down in February. Ari's thing. We got the weed released tomorrow. The first at the ice cream cake. Go try out the white truffle. I'm talking to Kim condom to maybe sponsor her podcast with laughing gas and George Perez's. So we got shit going on, guys. I love you, motherfucker. Is it all my heart? We'll be back Wednesday. But hey, it's fucking Monday, the 31st of the month. Perfect day for you motherfuckers.

Write your goals for February. Get your journal going. Get your dick sucked. It's all going to be a good month. Manscape Valentine's Day. Balls sucking February is always fucking great. I love you motherfuckers with all my heart. Have a great day. And I'll see you Wednesday the second, which is going to be 2222. How fucking creepy is that, cocksuckers? I love you. Stay black. Have a great day. And I'll see you Wednesday. And now, for a word, my motherfucking sponsors.

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Thank you.