Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #138 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY’S JOINT..... It’s Monday, February 14th.... Happy Valentine’s Day! This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com This episode is brought to you by Better Help, Onnit & Zip Recruiter….. Go to https://www.onnit.com & Enter PROMO CODE: JOEY, JOINT or CHURCH Go to https://www.ZipRecruiter.com/JOEY & Try it for FREE! Go to https://www.BetterHelp.com/DIAZ Use PROMO CODE: DIAZ for 10% OFF your 1st Month! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video.....

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Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire. Let's get this party started, Mikey. We've got a podcast to do. It's the Joint Cocksuckers. The Joint Cocksuckers. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday, the 14th Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day to everybody.

Hopefully you got a date and you'll get your balls licked and you're manscaped. I manscaped the nutsack. I manscaped everything. It's not that I'm going to have sex, but you always got to be prepared in cases of recovering cocksuck in the neighborhood. If you don't have a Valentine's Day,

no big fucking deal. Go to a bar, do what you work your fucking magic. There's a bunch of women that don't have Valentine's Day, so you don't have to be fucking lonely. That's all I'm just trying to help you out. You can't listen to podcasts all day and whack off. You got to fucking make her appear. You're sitting there all day fantasizing,

trying to bang one out. Fuck that. That went out the window. You're going to dress up a little bit and you're just going to walk to a bar and maybe talk to somebody. I'm not guaranteeing, you know, you're going to get laid. When I was a kid, there was a book,

like how to get laid. There was all these books, like how to meet women, all this shit. And Garrett, listen, those books never helped anybody. Trust me, I'm telling you, you could buy those books. I don't think it was like $9.99. How to pick up women or something in the 80s. I forget what the book.

They had like three book series. If you want to Google them, maybe they're still online. Teach how to pick up women with sideburns and shit. Fucking showing up. How are you? Yeah, because the book is from the 70s. You're going to show up with fucking sideburns, right? Nah, nah.

The woman ain't got sideburns. When I was a kid, women had more hair on their face. I haven't seen a woman with hair since I moved back to Jersey. When I was a kid, there was a couple of Barbarella looking motherfuckers that had little chins on their hair on their chins and shit. When I was a kid, I just thought it was normal for a girl to have fucking hair on her face.

Then I moved out to the West Coast. You don't see no wolfie type chicks, you know what I'm saying? And by the way, I want to give a shout out to Rachel Wilson. Just jackass and motherfuckers to that badass bitch wolfie, you know, works hard. And there you have it, guys, for you motherfuckers that think it can't happen. You know, man, wolfie works hard.

She smokes a lot of dope. She's beautiful. She got an audition for jackass. I was supposed to work with her that weekend, not on jackass, but I had told her if you want to, because she features fucking Felipe, she does her own gig. She works with a boyfriend, but she's really cool wolfie. She came on the church and we jacked a little bit.

And I could tell she was going to do something like, well, it's just a matter of time. They give her a weed show or something. She's good looking, you know, she's funny. I mean, she's not like a comedy store comic yet, but she's fucking getting there. She works hard and she did the movie, bro. She was on Kimmel.

She was on a couple of things. They're blowing her up. I text her and I said congratulations and guys. This is what it's all about is seeing somebody you were in the fucking trenches with make it. I swear to God. It's such a good fucking feeling people. I love it when one of those girls, the chick from fucking the

comedy store was a bartender and ended up on fucking the sign that live. And you know, she was getting spots at the store here and there and she just kept getting funnier and funnier and funnier and she started working on it. Yeah, she was bartending, but they give you spots at the store. So there's a fallout there. She goes punk.

He was in the fucking room killing him. So it's a great feeling. Even if I'm out of it, I'm watching the success that Rachel's getting and it's fucking great. I hope they give her a show or something. You know, she's, uh, she comes from a fucking smart ass family. They're all involved with the law. I mean, that's why I always dug her because when I would talk to

her, it'd be about the law or something like that. Her mother's a judge. How cool is that? Your mother's a judge. Your sister's the DA. It's like being in an episode of blue blood shit for breakfast. You're there. Who are you going to convict today?

Some fucking Puerto Rican stabbed an old lady in the supermarket. That's breakfast right there. That's an exciting fucking breakfast. What do you got today? My, I'm going to fucking sentence OJ to 20 years. That fucking cock sucker. I'm kidnapped because she did. She had something to do with the OJ trial.

The mother. I don't know if you guys know that, but it's always great to see somebody get in there. It's a, it's a great feeling. You know, I'm an old man. What the fuck am I going? But I look at these young guys that were there at the store or the lab factory with me or the improv and they're very respectful

all the time. And every time I saw them, they were out. They weren't trying to make contact. I'm making contacts with contacts with these fucking fake producers at the bugle. You make better contacts at the fucking laundry mat. You know what I'm saying? Contacts.

The days of contacts are over. You're making contacts on the internet. You go out and fucking work at night. And that's the bottom fucking line. When Mike came over today, we were talking about pets. And you know, it's, it's fucking weird how pets do affect your life. I signed on the whoop app and it's the, the watch that Rogan and those guys wore when they would do the sober October's.

And you know, it tells you how much you're pushing. It tells you recovery. That's why I was always walking around sore. So I wanted to know what the fuck was going on. I forgot what else I tell you motherfuckers. What was I talking about? The whoop app. The what?

The whoop app. The whoop app. Yeah. The whoop app and shit like that. And it tells you how much you slept. It tells you, I fucking dig it. I don't do it for the high level stuff, but it tells you your recovery, your fucking oxygen, how much you slept that night.

It's so weird ever since I've been, I've had this watch. Like now I go to sleep every night. Trying to beat last night's score. You know what I'm saying? It's like, it's like a little fucking contest for yourself. I didn't get it to be Hercules. I didn't get it to jump off buildings or anything like that. You know, I think it was a good idea.

In fact, I didn't even know Rogan and Bert and those guys had it. When I went to Jiu Jitsu, Sean, the coach said to me, you should get a whoop watch. If you don't know how much you recuperate and whatever the fuck is going on with you. So when I got the watch, I was talking to Red Band about it. How long it took me to get it. He's like, just call Rogan. He's got a bunch of them at the house. They're probably the three point O's.

They're not the four point O's. They're not the you motherfuckers. Give a fuck. But it's so weird. Like I always didn't sleep for years. I didn't fucking sleep, guys, for years. I was cracking a joke there then. It's true.

When I was 10, I looked like I was 22. You know, when I was 10 years old, I looked like I was 22. And when I was 20, I looked like I was fucking 40 already. There was no coming back for Uncle Joey. And I think it wasn't the drugs. I don't think it was any of that shit. I think it was the lack of fucking sleep. Like just a really, this whole period has really dawned on me.

How bad my sleeping was all those years. Just fucking horrific. Listen, six hours is okay, but it ain't gonna fucking cut it. And like now, like I'm getting like the last four nights I've slept fucking eight hours. I feel great. Yes, I woke up feeling like fucking dick. I didn't do shit all day. I was just broken the fuck.

I mean, I did shit. You know, when you have a kid, you just can't sit on a fucking couch all day. But as far as I mean working out and do shit, I couldn't do anything. I walked around. We did this. We did that. It was a great fucking weekend. Watched the motherfucking UFC's.

They were fucking fantastic. I think I fell asleep before the Israel fight, to be honest with you guys. I fell asleep when Derek Lewis got knocked out. Yes, I did bet to Evasa. I can't fucking believe I won because I had better. The guy who fought John and Camille Derek Brunson. That was a bust out because I thought he was going to win and retire. That was a bust out.

Then I lost with somebody else earlier. So I'm like tonight's not my night. And I go, fuck it. Let me just see what tier two Evasa is fucking doing here tonight. And he's 27 years old. You guys know I'm a Derek Lewis fan, but I'm a fan of money. I like to win my little 25 bucks. You know what I'm saying?

And since two Evasa was a fucking underdog, here's the problem that you got. When you bet those, like I saw like John Alex picks and all these people had their Twitter pics and shit. They all picked, you know, Adesanya. They all picked Derek Lewis and they all picked somebody else that was one of the earlier fights. I forget who the fuck it was. It was like everybody picked them. So I knew it wasn't going to be a perfect night. That's why I don't like betting fights the day before anything.

You bet as you're watching because I knew somebody was going to go down last night. I just didn't know who. If Derek Lewis and fucking the other guy were the one, then I would have bet against Israel. I didn't even bet that fucking fight. I could care less. I just wanted to upset. And after that, I don't know. I put my head on the couch.

Next thing you know, I woke up, it was two o'clock and Joe Rogan was there yelling about something on fucking my TV. I have no idea what the fuck it was. And that was it. I went upstairs to hit the crib and I woke up fucking the Lord's Day at 8 30, ready for the fucking Super Bowl. But that's all over. That's it. Football is done till next fucking year. And now we got to fucking rest our laurels on the NBA, college basketball and baseball in two fucking months.

Not that you guys give a fuck. Nobody really does. I mean, the Super Bowl, more people bet the fucking Super Bowl than any other sporting event in the world. Even people who've never fucking gambled before. Look what happened in New York. New York opened that fucking gambling June 5th, January 4th, January 5th. They got 1.2 billion fucking dollars in gambling. And that's what they tell them.

You know what I'm saying? That's a lot of fucking money. That's how much people are fucking gambling. I understand. We don't have a middle class left. But who the fuck is gambling this much? And they're saying that they got like 80 something percent of people who've never gambled before, which is just extra fucking nomenical. But it's a, it's a different day to fucking gamble.

Now you can just go on your phone. You got fucking draft kings. You got fan duel. You got bad MGF. You got 22 fucking services. And they're all giving you fucking get us to fucking sign up with the me. I've always been happy with draft kings. I try like three other services and draft kings just felt more real.

Like I was, I wasn't betting with some fucking Jamaican bank. I'm not going to get my money tomorrow. I don't like making those fucking silly bets. I don't like putting my credit card out there. That's, there's a lot of wacky dudes that love that shit. You know what? I take it easy on the internet. You know, Amazon, you could trust nobody breaches fucking Amazon.

Right? Amazon never, Amazon never sends you an email. We're being fucking the Russians cracked into my account because it don't happen. Amazon, they're tough. They got people that you fuck around with Amazon. That's a big account. That's a lot of people. I want to know how many people are members of fucking Amazon.

Like I know my wife is Amazon prime and she fucking loves it. And I heard that the only way you're going to be able to watch the NFL next year is through Amazon. It's real fucking interesting. I want to show you guys something. In my world, these are the best edibles and you guys know I've eaten everything. I like eating edibles to the clean. I don't want to hangover. You ever eat a fucking pot cookie and you're fucking hungover the next day.

You're like, what's the hangover? Same hangover you got when you drink pina coladas. You dumb fuck. Sugar. All this sugar and this fucking, I swear to God. Bro, I made a batch of brownies this week. Not good guys. Not good.

I don't know. It was a failure to launch, as they say. It was just a failure to launch. I put an eighth of fucking cocoa weed in that motherfucker. Cut it up with his scissors. Didn't grind it. Cut it up so it retains everything in that motherfucker. And on top of that, I put maybe like two crams of high level keef in that bitch.

And I gotta tell you something. I made the brownies. I used the San Francisco chocolate company. I didn't use the fucking generic one. Oh my God. And I threw some walnuts in that bitch. Yowza, yowza, yowza. If the THC don't get you, the fucking walnut allergy will.

But I gotta tell you, man, I had like two or three of them. You know what? I didn't have any. Mike wasn't around. I made them on Tuesday. I didn't have any guinea pigs. Just myself. And I think I slept.

I fell asleep. I got up and the whoop told me I fucking took a nap. I didn't even fucking know. But yeah, the whoop will tell you, you took a nap and shit. But these to me, these are 25 milligrams. These still got fucking kicking them. Plus the 25 milligrams have a sleepy time flavor in these bitches. And they don't spawn to the show.

None. I'm just trying to help you motherfuckers out for your edible experience. You know what I'm saying? 25s will put you to sleep. My recommendation, always fucking go for the hundred, but also work yourself up to it. I know professionals, professionals that have had bad experiences with this. What do you mean bad experiences, Joey?

Did they crash the bus? No. They just slept longer than they should have. They fell asleep with their clothes on. You know what I'm saying? When they had a flight, shit like that. People didn't know where they were. Look what ABX sent me this last week.

Look at this meteor of edibles and shit like that. If you could determine how many 200 milligrams are in this mother. Oh shit. Three of them. That's it. Three of them won't fuck it. There you go, Mikey. That's your present for the week.

I would take one now, but I got shit to do today. I can't. I usually take three of those 200s at about eight o'clock at about 9 30. You do start feeling dark. You start thinking to yourself, oh my God. I got, I got diabetes. You just feel weird for like, you really do feel weird. That's one thing I will, when these things hit you,

they hit you a little hard than other things they do. They like the fucking, they're like the fucking two evos of edibles. They hit hard. They fucking hit hard for the first three or four minutes. You're like, am I losing my breath? Am I going to pass out? But then once you pass fucking, what's those people looking for? Valhalla.

Once you arrive in fucking Valhalla. Oh my God. And that's the first song you hear fucking down in it. Then in it. Then in it. Then in it. The fucking Led Zeppelin, uh, cash, whatever the fuck cash me a dog. These edibles are tremendous.

And like I said, they're not a sponsor of the podcast. Nothing. I'm just trying to keep you motherfuckers tip top. Magoo in the fucking loop of life. So I'm recommending these. I know a lot of you people like to hit your fucking edibles. Hey, I ain't mad at you, but I swear to God in the last 10 years. And you guys have been with me a lot of years.

You guys know I've had my edibles and the, I've never had edibles hit me as hard as ABX's and those 15 milligram gummy bears I bought from slump kitchen. Those things were fucking strong guys. And when I tell you they were strong, I ate 300 milligrams. I didn't know what the fuck I was. That's fucking strong. Okay. And I ended up buying seven boxes of those things because they had a sale.

Holy shit. I slept on those motherfuckers. I mean, that's what I'm going back to the mattresses here. Like I said, the whoop watch helps me sleep. And now, like every night I'm trying to fucking, I got to break eight hours. Now I got to fucking today. I got to read up how to increase your REM. How to go deeper, deep, deep, deep.

I thought by eating 10 of these, that's as deep as you could go. But sorry, Charlie, I can't. They're great edibles, but they're not going to take you into that deep, deep REM sleep. That you're looking for. So I got to figure out, I got to read the book, sleep again. I got to do a bunch of fucking things and figure this shit out. But I'm feeling a lot better. I'm looking a lot better.

I got some shit going on this week. You guys will find out about pretty fucking soon. You know, Mike and I were talking about fucking pets before. Like, I don't know if you guys have cats. I don't know if you guys have dogs, but I got to be honest with you. You got to have something. You really got to have something in your life to break it up. I went without animals, you know, but I couldn't have an animal.

I was a fire. I was an animal. How can you have an animal when you are a fucking animal? You know, and I tell you, I could feel the calmness effect. I didn't have, I grew up with like dogs. I had dogs for a while and I gotta be honest. I cannot tell you what happened to these dogs. I cannot honestly tell you.

When I was like 10 or 11, I got these two dogs and I don't know what happened. My mom was at war with them. I was going to Catholic school and one guy kept breaking out. So my mom got rid of him and then like 10 months before my mother died, I got a dog named Crystal because of Crystal THC. He was white with a couple of brown spots. He looked just like when you opened up aluminum foil and you saw Crystal THC. It was like that dark white, you know, Joey, what are you talking about?

If it's white, how can it be dark? You know what I'm fucking talking about? Some white is fucking light your eyeballs on fire. This was like a darker white and you could see a couple of brown spots. And when I got the dog, I called the dog Crystal THC short for Crystal, just in case the cops were around. You couldn't say Crystal T, so I just called her Crystal. I took Crystal in the shoes about six weeks old and I fucking loved that dog.

That dog, my stepfather was out of the house. I had trained him myself to shit in the yard. I'd pick up the shit. I was really responsible with it. Like I was, I was trying to be the man of the house at that time. So that was part of my thing. Like I didn't want my mother telling me you got to clean the piss up. Which time for you to walk the dog.

I love that fucking dog. But when my mother died, I couldn't take Crystal with me to the bender's house. So I gave it to this lady Nina and I would go over there from time to time and jump in the fucking dog house with the dog and cry. And then I lost contact with them and that was history. But I was always, I like dogs. Cats, I wasn't really a cat guy growing up until my mother died and the bender's had a cat. And at first I didn't know when you're fucking patin' them.

They're parin' and you're like, what the fuck it? You don't want to touch them. And then I started liking them. And then she started bringing pigeons home and birds home. Her name was Frisky. John Bandada had a cat named Frisky with like a missing half of ear. Beautiful. Tough as shit.

You know what I mean? Like, you know, you'd wake up in the morning, there'd be a fucking, there'd be a fucking squirrel in your living room, half dead, like looking at you. And Frisky would be fucking stabbing that motherfucker. It was surreal. So I kinda liked this cat for the hunt that she was, but I still didn't know anything about cats. And I remember going to Aspen, Colorado,

and going to my buddy Steve Chavone's house. He was dating this white chick and she had cats. He was like a white hippie chick with crystals, the whole fucking deal. And she had cats. And I'll never forget that the cat jumped on my fucking lap and I was patin' it. And listen, again, I didn't know about cats. So when the cat was there parin', I was scared shitless. I thought the fucking cat was gonna attack me.

So I'll never forget, I pushed the cat off me. We were watchin' like Eddie Murphy, Delirious. It was a double date. Me and my girlfriend at the time went over there. I did not know how to act around the cat. I pushed that fucking cat off me and I go, fuck you, cocksucker. And after that, I didn't have a cat.

Like, I was like, nah, cats just aren't me. And then, when I met my little fucking Indian, Terry, she had that one cat and then she saved another cat and then she saved another cat and I got acquainted with the cat. But then I started feeling different. Like, once I got the cats, I started feeling differently after about a year or so. Like, I started feeling, I don't know, like I belonged to somethin'. The cats would make me come home.

You know, I didn't have much money when I had those cats in the beginning. You know, Mike, you know, it was funny that night some people were talkin'. They're like, when you did comedy, go listen. When I did comedy, I was down to bare minimum. It was either underwear or cocaine. You know what I'm sayin'? You wanna do coke, yeah. Then you can't wear underwear.

That's why I didn't wear underwear. I was down to like three socks, you know what I'm sayin'? And no underwear. No white T-shirts, why? Because you gotta give somethin' up, you know what I'm sayin'? So, even when it came to the cats, I went in my pocket. If I had $22, I would take $10 and go buy cat food. It put me in a position where I couldn't get fuckin' coke.

You could always get a $20 package of coke, but you can't get a fuckin' 10, you know? But I would do that. I would put myself in those positions for the cats. It was the weirdest thing that I started readin' about cats. There was a guy at the comedy store, great comic, Irish comic. He was good friends with Jimmy Schubert. His name was Dan Barton. He wrote for Kenison Earlyon, fuckin' great writer, smart guy.

And one night, we just got in a conversation about cats, like early on when I first got the three cats. And I didn't know much about him. I was just talkin' to him and he was like fuckin' making my head blow up. Tellin' me about the cats in Egypt. If you killed a cat, if a cat died, if you owned a cat in Egypt, you had to bring the cats like the neighborhood doctor. If there was any foul play involved, if the cat didn't look like he died in natural causes, they'd fuckin' kill you.

That's how in the Cleopatra era, all those fuckin' they loved cats. That's why you see all those figurines of skinny cats and shit. I forget what those skinny cats are called. Who the fuck knows? Slamese, the other ones. It's like, I got that the other night. I was watchin' the Motley Crew movie. And the guy sits next to Nicky Six, and he goes, try this Persian heroine.

And the guy goes, Nicky Six, he's like, what are you talkin' about, Persian? There's no fuckin' Persian. The guy goes, yeah, yeah, like that cat in the Disney movie. This is when you're doin' heroin, this is what you're talkin' about. And Nicky Six goes, what the fuck are you talkin' about? You stupid motherfucker. That's a Siamese cat. A Siamese cat.

They gotta be crossed with the movement to cross-eyed. Anyway. What the fuck are we talkin' about? Persian, Siamese, whatever. I don't give a fuck. The situation was, I just something. They gave me a weird warm cat. And then my wife, we had the situation in the backyard with Samurai fuckin' 82,000 cats

and having 16 fuckin' kitten litters. So we started adopting cats for people, and we got stuck with them. Listen, I'm not sayin' we got stuck with them. After a while, you fall in love with them, and you're like, I'm not giving them away now. They're comfortable here. Why confuse them? Why fuckin', you know? So cats have just been in my life now for 22 fuckin' years, and I'm down to two of them.

The last one from the Samurai tribe, and the one that came into my house in North Hollywood, Gray, that we took off the fuckin' from the neighbor. We clipped it from the neighbor. The neighbor knew the neighbor, handed me the fuckin' cat. But real quick, a little break from the action. The event is sponsored by BetterHelp Online Therapy. Listen, it's Valentine's Day. Relationships take work, and a lot of us will drop anything to do to get help to someone we care about.

We'll go out of our way to treat other people well. But how often do we give ourselves the same treatment? We don't. I invest in myself every Monday morning with my therapy. This month, BetterHelp Online Therapy wants to remind you to take care of the most important relationship. The one that you have with yourself. Like I told you for years, you gotta be a good friend to yourself. You gotta make sure you go to sleep, you gotta make sure you eat right and drink water,

and there's nothing wrong with talking to somebody. I love that I have Dana in my life. She helps me out. I was telling my man Theo that I wish I had a therapist full time when I was doing comedy. It would have really helped me out a lot. Whether it's hitting the gym, or making time for a haircut, or even trying therapy. You are your greatest asset, so invest time and effort into yourself like you do for other people. BetterHelp is online therapy that offers video, phone, and chat sessions with your therapist.

It's so much more affordable and on-person therapy, and you can be matched with a therapist in under 48 hours. Give it a try, and see why over 2 million people have worked with BetterHelp. The joint is sponsored by BetterHelp, and listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash Diaz. That's betterhelp.com slash Diaz. Give it a shot. It helped me a lot. Thank you, and now, back to the podcast. I was telling Mike once this fucking cat goes down, that's the end.

That's the end of that cat line. That's it. The mother's done. Samurai disappeared way before we left Hollywood. It's the end. And it's been like a 17 year. We've had 17 years of those fucking cats from that same fucking lit. And this is the last one, so it's like, listen, I'm not sad because I've accepted that she's got to go.

I still think of Superbad, like I still dream about Superbad at night from time to time. He was the cat that took me off cocaine in 2007. We're going on 15 fucking years. He's been dead three years, and I still never fucking slipped. So a little kiss for fucking Samurai. Fuck Samurai. Superbad up there in cat heaven right now, eating salmon and shit. Getting his dick sucked by his Siamese cat with no eye.

They got hit by a car. Who the fuck knows? The other day I was looking at notes from the book. We're going to hand this book in the next week or two. We're not going to talk tomorrow because we're not talking until Wednesday. Erica's out of town until Wednesday, but that's what I did this weekend. Seriously, at night I just turned the TV off and outlined the last two chapters. And then I started making an outline for the overview of the book.

And I was just looking through. It's a lot of material, but one of the most interesting chapters in that fucking book. And I even read like four or five pages of it. I did a thing for it. It was the weirdest, you know, Ari called me one day. He was doing storytelling show, you know. And Ari and me used to talk a lot on the road. Like we used to talk about comedy, jokes, food, Chinese food, being a Jew.

You know, we used to talk about a lot of shit all those years with Rogan on the road. I mean, I know Ari over 20 years. My wife knows Ari even longer, so. And I don't know. He came to me when then he goes, you got to hit me with a different story though. You got to hit me with something fresh, unique. And I couldn't come up with anything, you know, prison stories, whatever. And just something made me think about my mother and, uh, and, uh, is a writer.

You know, I did a podcast about friendship when I was doing Beauty and the Beast. And a lot of people reached out to me from that podcast. I mean, if you think people reached out to me after I told the hooker story, a lot of people reached out to me after the friendship thing. And they were like, dog, you hit it on the head. I never thought of those things. You know, one of the toughest things in life is being a friend to somebody. It's, it's, it's a tough job because you don't know whether you're pushing.

You don't know whether you're pulling. You always, uh, you just want to be a good friend. You know, I've lived in Jersey. I lived in Colorado. I've lived in Seattle and you guys know I have great friends. I just, I love my friends. I let them know that I love them because this is what's worked for me over the years. And I let them know that if I could help them, I could help them.

But the most important thing is that we're friends with dogs. We're down the whole fucking thing. Yeah, you have acquaintances in your life. We all have a thousand acquaintances that we, we like. We say hello to, you know, what's going on, but we really don't know anything much more than that. Maybe they're putting up a wall. Maybe we're putting up a wall, whatever. You have to, you have to tell the difference between your acquaintances and the motherfuckers who live and die for you.

I'll tell you what, you can live to be 70 and have one motherfucker that'll live and die for you. And that's more than a lot of people because dog, your wife will fucking leave you. You know, and I want, it's the truth. I want you to know these things in life before you get involved in this shit. Your wife will leave you. Your mother will die. Your father will die. And you will find yourself fucking alone one day. Okay. At any point in life, I don't give a fuck who you are. When your parents off this planet or maybe one plant, one dad, or maybe your mom is gone, but your dad is still alive.

You're a lonely motherfucker on this planet. You really never noticed them till you go home and think about it. You don't want to think about it because you know it'll fucking depress the shit out of you, you know. And then you have to look at the people around you. You know, you think about Dane Cook, his brother Rob from him, and I'm not putting negative shit in your mind. I just want you to know the possibilities that are out there. You think of, you know, wives, ex-wives, you know, you think of family members, you know, it's, it's, you can never judge who it is. But all you could do is be a great fucking friend, you know.

When I was a kid in New York City, I had friends on the block and shit. Since my mom had a little bit of money, I always played it down and I would help the kids out, you know, buy them a soda or something. I'd always say I found the dollar. Let's go get four eyes teased. I was always very generous that way. I always wanted to help somebody on the street. I don't mind. You know, when you're a kid, how many fucking kids have their parents have dough? Both parents are working. Maybe they give you a dollar to go out with. If I stole ten dollars when I was a kid, half of it was fucking yours, you know.

Oh, whatever. If I made ten bucks on something, if we pushed the sled or we helped push a car on a guy who gave us ten, gave me ten. You know, I always gave everybody a little more than what I got because my mom had money in the house. But it wasn't until my mom died that I found out what I'm lying to you guys. While she was alive, I witnessed it and I didn't know. I gotta be honest with you guys and God, please help me for a couple fucking years. I thought my mother was gay. That's the fucked up thing I've ever said in my life. There was a couple years there where it would hit me like I was maybe 12, 13, 14. It would just come into my mind and I go, you know what?

I don't even want to think about if my mother's gay and I got nothing against being gay and nothing. It's just when it's your mother or your father. You know, can you imagine living your life and thinking your father's gay? Like you find like a leather whip in your fucking and your father's tang and night. How home down would you be if you found out your dad was gay? I don't know. For what reason? Maybe you're happy? I'm saying if he was with your mom, like Vito from the Sopranos. Like if you had a friend like Vito and you found out, if your father was Vito, I'm sorry.

And you found out your father was gay. I mean, you wouldn't, but you don't know how to take it at a young age. So from 12 to 14, I really thought, huh? Yeah, no, no, no, it's, it's, it's the sun went crazy after he died. But it's just so weird for a couple of years there. You know, my mom would talk to this is a writer lady. If they didn't talk on the phone 10 times a day, they didn't fucking talk. When I woke up in the morning, they were on the phone to go to school.

When I got home from school, they were on the fucking phone before she went to New York at night. You know, before she went to a bar at night, I'm sorry. She was on the phone with the writer on the way to a mech game. She'd have to pull over and cause a writer from pay phone. It's not like the writer slept at the house or my mom slept over there. My mom would go over there. There's seven days in a week. My mother was over there five days a week on any mission she made to New York.

There was always a stop. It's a writer's house for 15 minutes to try and a blouse, do a bumper Coke, talk about the Mets and what Tom Siever was wearing the night before and just to check in with each other. For years, she took me up those fucking stairs. For years, let me tell you something. I love going as a writer's house. Let's get this out of the way. When I was a kid, I lived on the lower east, the upper west side.

Yeah, we tortured Mr. Martini. We had a couple of kids on the block that were crazy, but for the most part, it was a very conservative fucking neighborhood. What do I mean by that? That was very white. It wasn't Harlem. There was a couple of Puerto Ricans, but it wasn't Harlem at that time. When you went to fucking Harlem, it was fucking black, beautiful Puerto Rican and Jewish,

a lot of fucking Jews in Harlem in those days. What was I talking about, Mike? I'm fucking stoned. I can't get high before these podcasts. We got too high before the podcast today, which is good. You need to fucking loosen up a little bit. When I fucking started to join, I thought this was going to be like a stock podcast or a businessman podcast. I can't smoke because I can't smoke in my house, but I had sweaters on because I was looking at a video.

What was I thinking? I would put these nice sweaters on. Fuck that shit. This is no fucking, this ain't no businessman fucking podcast. So now we do some edibles. We smoke some dope. I thought your mom was on a cake with syringe. Yeah, so I thought they were fucking gay.

But finally, when I was 14, I figured out they weren't. Finally, when I was 14, I figured out something. I'm like, wait a second, what am I, an asshole? You know, like when a thought comes into your mind and you don't want to process it, that's what I was doing. When I was like 14 or 15, one day I just processed it because when I was about 14 or 15, that's when the writer started coming over to Jersey more. My mom didn't have the bar in New York and her operation is now on a bar around the corner. So the writer would come over, like about two years before my mother died,

the writer would come over two nights a week. We would eat, they would fucking smoke dope, they would giggle, and then the writer would go back to fucking Long Island at night, you know. So I was like, you know what, what am I thinking? They're not gay. They're not in the bedroom eating each other's monkeys. They're fucking downstairs talking and switching blouses and talking about dresses and shit. But like more and more, I think the first, my first part of my life,

my mom was helping out Zorida and then the later part of my life, Zorida turned around and was helping my mom more. I think my mom wouldn't let me know what was going on, but fucking Zorida would. She would confide in Zorida what was going on. You know, my stepfather had left, my mother lost a bar. There was just a bunch of shit going on. My mom let me know a lot of the shit that was going on. But then again, on the other hand, she wouldn't let me know what was going on,

which was cool with me at the time. I just wish I knew about it. Like today, I wish I knew about more. I wish she was struggling with that. And when she died, I realized she was struggling from a broken heart, what Ralphie May died of. And sometimes a lot of people die of it. It's just a cardiac arrest or a heart attack, whatever the fuck they do,

but it's really a broken fucking heart. But those last two years, Zorida was just dynamite to my mom. And then after my mom died, she took care of me for close to fucking four years. You know, I was on the phone with her every day. I tried to fill in like I, I didn't know what a friend, I didn't know what friendship entailed as a whole. I didn't really know that. And now they call it ride or die or whatever.

When I was growing up, it was, you know, we breathe for one another. That's it. Those are the, those are the words like, listen, I breathe for you. So anything you need, any situation you get into call, we'll fucking knock them out ourselves or we'll land a helicopter and throw a grenade. You know, you talk shit, but the meaning is always there. You know, we breathe for one another. And like I said, it's very hard to determine, you know, you have acquaintances

that maybe you want to be better friends with. Well, then you have to breathe them a little bit. You have to show them that you're breathing. They're not just going to decide to make you their fucking homie, you know, but why do you want to be that person's friend? Is it because they can get your job, they could do something for you? Or do you genuinely, does that person make you feel good when you're with them? You laugh, you giggle, money is no fucking option.

If I don't have the 20 for lunch, he's got the 20 for lunch. If he doesn't got the 20 for lunch, I got the 20 for lunch. It's that type of fucking relationship. You know, Zariah, it was just there for my mom and it was fucking beautiful to see. But after my mom died, that's when this woman's friendship. Cause listen, anybody could be your friend when you're alive. Anybody could be your friend when you got a pocket full of money and a pocket full of blow and a big dick, right?

Anybody could be your friend. In fact, if you got a pocket full of money and a pocket full of blow, even if your dick is an inch, it's fucking two feet. You're the fucking savage man because you got what it takes to get you there. They're going to be so fucked up, they're going to be confused on the dick. What I'm trying to fucking say is that after my mom died, like I was in fucking, you know, when your mom dies or your father dies or your brother dies, the first day of the wake, you're not even believing this is happening.

Like you really don't believe this is happening. You question it for a minute, not even like a second, and you go, you know what, I got to go put my shirt and shoes on my suit. I got to go take a shower. You try to avoid thinking about it. But once you get to the wake and you look at the picture of that person in the casket, it becomes a fucking reality. Like everything else is background music.

Once that person's in the casket and that casket's open, you got whatever. Three hours, you know, it used to be two days of a wake now because of COVID and restrictions. It's one fucking screening. Everybody go to fuck home. You know, things have changed. Which I like that better. Why draw it the fuck out? Two or three hours.

Everybody pay their respects. If you can make it, you can make it. If you can't move on, we understand. Send flowers, light a candle, say a prayer, whatever the fuck you want to say. But at that fucking funeral, I remember feeling at that the first afternoon of my mother's wake, I just remember feeling there like my fucking heart was in my hand. And all of a sudden, I'm sitting in the fucking, the viewing room, if you call it. I'm maybe 30 feet away from the casket.

I'm looking at it as a whole, like the big picture. Like if I was going to shoot the funeral, I'd be shooting it from back there, like the whole picture. And then I'd do isolated shots, people's faces, you know, whatever the fuck. But I was just sitting there, man, minding your own business. No, just think about it. It's the afternoon. It's five maybe. I'm not high.

I just got to the funeral parlor. I haven't really walked up to see my mother. I don't need to. Not right now. I'm going to have plenty of time to make my peace with it. I just want to sit and get the tone of the room and see what's going on, you know. I'm heartbroken. I don't even know where to start.

And the next thing you know, I hear, fuck you. What the fuck did I tell you? And I'm like, am I hearing fucking voices? This is what happens when you lose a loved one. And I'm hearing better singali. I said, fuck, I said 50,000 times. And I'm like, what the fuck? And I bust out and I go into the hallway and there's the writer and she's got Rivera.

The funeral director who had just been poor Rivera. He had just been abused for the last hour. From the minute we walked into that funeral parlor, Rivera was getting tortured. Not by me, not by the writer. My mom had a crew of friends that were fucking boozers from the bar. Like, you know, that crew of friends that drink with you every day. My mom had like eight of them from that bar. A guru.

They were just fucking these people. These Cubans are crazy. And they drank beer all day. Well, listen, let's say the wake started at four. At 10 after fucking four. These motherfuckers walked in. Go find the biggest beer cooler you could find in America. Like those long, long, long igloos.

You know which ones I'm talking about. They're like four feet long igloos. These Cubans walked in with one of those fucking things. The other guy, I'm not doing Umberto had a case of fucking pinch whiskey that they just walked in with. And some other guy had like a keg or something else. And I'll never forget just sitting there and Rivero was a nice Cuban man. Very tan, dark skin, handsome. He walks up, but he wasn't a heavy.

He was a funeral director. He walked out. He's like, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. What's going on here? You guys know, I'll lose my liquor license, all this shit. And one of the guys just went in his pocket, took out like two and all the bill and put it in fucking Rivero's jacket pocket. His soup pocket. And they're like Rivero, this was happening today.

This is it. And they walked into like a make believe kitchen that was back then between the visitation rooms. And they started putting that beer on ice and shit with the keg and Rivero kept opening the door. It's not about the money. I'm going to lose my life. That Rivero then closed the fucking door. Don't let the license guy in. I'm like, oh, they're just torturing this Rivero guy.

He finally just left through his hands up. They started setting up a fucking bar. They started putting bottles out like in one of the fucking corn. Like they took all the flowers off it. It was not good guys. Like a fucking bartender. You ever go to like a wedding? They have like a bartender at the wedding by himself.

No bus boy. And he just makes fucking, you know, whiskey tonics or whatever. Whiskey sour was margaritas. They had like fucking some dude making his name was Miguel. He's still alive in Miami. He had the first shift of bartending at the fucking thing. They had the shaker. I'll never forget that they had a fucking shaker.

Like I'll never feel like, oh my God. I got to go into the fucking visitation room. So that was the first situation at like 10 after that, like 430. There was something else that happened. Some people want to the Santeria people came in and they wanted to cut a chicken before the event started in the back room and then cut a chicken and drag the blood. And now I'm embarrassed because listen, my friends are all fucking white people.

They're legit white Italian nice people, couple Jews, couple Germans. You know, don't fucking embarrass me in front of these guys. There was certain women, girls that I knew that I told them not to come to my mother's wake. There were certain people. I said, do me a favor. If you came to the wake, I know, I know where your heart is, but don't come. But fucking just don't come because I don't want you to see that whole Santeria thing. When they fucking came in with a chicken in a bag and they were going to kill the chicken.

And there was like four dark, dark skin Cubans with fucking hats on and Santeria medallions. And they wanted to kill a chicken. Rivera was fucking losing it. This poor bastard. And then not even 20 minutes later, the writer is choking him because you put the wrong dress on my mother. That was tremendous. I told you to put the fucking blue dress. You son of a bitch and poor Vero by that time would have jumped out of his fucking skin.

He did not want to do this fucking wake. But I remember that I went up to the writer and I tried to calm her down, but then it all dawned on me. My mother and the writer were cut from the same cloth. And I remember the writer letting them loose and going to have a drink with the Cubans and me just like just sitting there kind of embarrassed, but not really. And that's when it dawned on me. Like I was sad until the time the writer choked Rivera after that gradually my sadness went away because I started finding out. Their friendship. That was like I sat down going, whoa, wait a second.

This crazy Cuban bitch just went at the funeral director for a mistake with a dress. But no, no, no, it doesn't matter what dress she has on. She's dead. It's not like she's going to the Titanic for a party. It's like she's going to the fucking studio 54. She's dead. What difference is the dress? And that's when it dawned on me.

It didn't matter what difference the dress was. I went up to a, you know, five hours later and I asked her what the fuck wasn't with the dress. And she was like, that was her favorite dress. She had just bought it. She had once mentioned to me that if she could get married again, listen, I don't give a fuck. But just the fact that somebody stuck up for you after you were dead usually stick up for people. So the word gets back to them that they stuck up for you and you get brownie points. No, no, no, no.

There was no brownie points here. She stuck up for my mother because she stuck up for my mom. And that wasn't all. Then after that, the best was like the next day when she started throwing people out that didn't belong there. Like she was just going up to people going, you know what, Mike? I was there that night. You were talking shit about my sister. Get the fuck out of here.

People were fucking like leaving and then she put like a bounty on my stepfather. She's like, when he gets here, I'm throwing him out in 10 fucking minutes. He's not going to last 10 minutes. Anybody want to bet me? I know exactly what to say to him. And I don't know what she said to him the first night, but he ran the fuck out of there. And the more and more like the funeral was like three days to wake. But I got to tell you, man, the last night of the week before we buried him, I went to smoke a joint or something.

I don't know what I went outside to do. When you were awake, you go to get some air and whatever the fuck you do. I went and I went outside and when I came back in. The writer was fucking crying on the hands and knees by the casket saying how beautiful you look. You know, I'm going to miss you. I'm going to miss your phone calls and shit. And then I don't know where the writer goes and I'm going to take care of this fucking piece of shit. You know, I don't know if she said that.

She just goes, I'm going to take care of him and make sure he grows up to be a man, which is what was your dream, you know. And right there, I was blown the fuck away, guys. I started fucking crying. Then I saw off of my mother a bump, which was even the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. But that's how much she loved her. She was combing her hair in the casket. You know, that's as creepy as it gets. But that was the fucking love that they had for one another.

And I know my mother was crazy about it. Trust me, I knew my mother was crazy. In fact, she was the first person I called after I found her. Because I know that's what my mother would have wanted. I called her first. Never mind the sisters in Cuba, nothing. I called that woman first because I knew. Then we buried my mother.

And let me tell you something from November in 1979, guys, to, you know, July of 84. She was there for me. And every time I talked to her, she'd cry about my mother. Even if she was in a good mood. She'd just go, I was talking about your mother the other day, the story in Cuba. We were fucking kids. And I'm like, fuck. And you know, I was in a bad place for years, but her lesson was taught to me at that fucking wake.

Like as soon as we buried my mother and I saw her back. And then not only that she lived in Long Island and her drug operation was on 112th and fucking 8th Avenue down there. No, no, like 3rd Avenue was the beginning of Spanish Harlem. And she lived in Long Island. She got out of the city at night and went home. She separated her life and the apartment. I think some Puerto Rican ladies stayed in the apartment at night and watched it. She would drive from fucking Long Island to fucking Jersey to see me, you know, and bring me to an almost every week and bring me a little weed.

You know, and then I told her the truth about the coke and I was buying coke from her, which I'm not very proud of. And I don't think she was very proud of it either. And, you know, I mean, we were tight and she was very tight to me. She loved me for me. And it just taught me so much about how much effort you have to put into your friends. It's everybody always complains. I don't know friends. I'm going to join a fucking whatever guy you haven't tried.

You walk around relying on your laurels and that's not going to work when you're looking for friends. I'm like, I've always said this and this has been my trademark for years. You could take over a country with three people. Fidel fucking did it. It's a state of mind. You don't need what happened was in nineteen fucking ninety five. That stupid show came out and trust me, I watched the show. I like I shouldn't say it's stupid to show friends came on.

Everybody has this idea that if you don't have six or seven fucking friends, you ain't shit. Everybody that became like a fantasy to people. Ah, you know, let's go out and do birthdays. Kind of a sort of fucking table having everybody's giggling till the check comes. That's a red wine. I love it. You know, all the bullshit and that gave people like this thing. And listen, it's all bullshit.

You're never going to have six. Even Jesus had a bunch of friends. One turned. If I'm saying to you, the smaller the number, the least that people fucking turn. And if listen, I could put it's like a it's like having a family. You know, if you got a wife and 20 fucking kids, it's tough to give those kids attention. But you have to figure it out. And that's why you can't give them all attention because they're 20 fucking kids.

One of them is going to come out to be a mass murderer and the other one's going to rape the school teacher. Who the fuck knows? You're not there for them. But if you got three or four kids, it's better. The same thing with friends. Listen, you're going to have 20 acquaintances. You see them every day. What's going on?

They don't break a barrier with you and you don't break a barrier with them and that's okay. You're not going to be best friends with fucking everybody, but you're going to have three motherfuckers. Even me in Jersey, since I've gotten back here, I thought that the kids I grew up with were going to be my running mates. You know what? That was 40 years ago. I've accepted. They're accepted. We care for each other.

We contact each other on a weekly basis, but hey, I'm an hour away from them and they're an hour away from me. So I had to make friends down here and I got a couple of friends down here. I can tell anything to them. They know who the fuck I am. One of them is a cop. I'm dear friends with Bobby. He lives in Jackson, so I talk to him every other fucking day and this is the extent of it for right now. I love Joe.

Ari's a dear, dear comedy friend. Josh Wolfe is a dear friend. Mike is a dear friend. We watch after for everybody. Mike's doing a great job with the videos. Mike doesn't call me and say, I'm a great friend. Look at the job I'm doing with the videos. He just doesn't.

He's understood the fucking I love him to death. You know, I watched the latest, you know, the album of the week. It looked fucking great. You didn't do that. You did that. You love me. I love you, you know, and that's what this is all about, you know, so don't worry about having the 19 fucking friends. All you need is three motherfuckers.

You could start anything. A jiu-jitsu school. I guarantee they took over the fucking White House on January 6th. It started with three motherfuckers, even though I wouldn't do business with three fucking people because two of them could turn on you. So what you do is keep it to a low. Be the best friend that you could be. Check up on people. You know, check up on people.

People's lives are busy, but I got to tell you something. You know how many times I've been busy and somebody has called me and you're in your busyness. And, you know, you're having like a situation. It's one of your dear friends' colleges and what's going on. How you doing? I'm just checking in with you, whatever you like. Listen, I can't really talk right now. I'm getting my fucking feet lit on fire.

I got to do shit and I hang up the fucking phone. And that night when you look through your phone, you're like, fuck, and white called me in the middle of the day when I was going through shit. He was thinking about me enough to call. And most people do that. They'll go, this motherfucker contacted me when I was going through a bunch of shit. My friend's mother died last week. I was supposed to call her before the wake. And I didn't.

I know her. I couldn't go to the wake because I was going to Pennsylvania. I wouldn't get back on time. And then this week I'm like, I got to call her again. Guess what? I didn't call her. I called her boyfriend though and I said, listen, don't say none. I just got caught up because no, it's better you didn't call her because she's going through a ton of shit right now.

If you call her this week, she'll be fucking ready for you. And that was fucking tremendous. You always have to check in. Always got to check in with your friends. Let them know you fucking love them. You know, I tell my good friends, I love you not because I fucking hate them because I love them and I want them to know when they're out there on the road. And they're out there alone. I want them to think of me.

You know what I'm saying? That's what I was. Whenever I get off the phone with people, I always tell them the same fucking line. Don't forget about me. It's a line I stole from John Turturro in To Live and Die in LA when he tells Spider-Man Nemesis, not Doc Ock, but the other guy, William Defoe. William Defoe played the counterfeit on To Live and Die in LA. A great movie to watch this week after the Super Bowl. And when fucking Defoe goes to visit him and John Turturro and listen, bro, I didn't know who Nick was.

I didn't know who John was. I didn't know nothing. I just love John in that movie. He plays a fucking, a guy that sells counterfeit fucking money. But he goes to, he gets arrested at the airport. Anyway, long story short, he's in the jail in the visitation and the guy's like, listen, I have an attorney call you, blah, blah, blah. You'll be out of here in two hours. And he goes, yeah, I promise not to come in your mouth and the checker's in the mail.

Hey, he knocks in the glass. He goes, don't forget about me. And that's the same thing I'm telling you motherfuckers on a beautiful Monday morning. Valentine's Day. I hope you have a great day. I hope you enjoyed my little fucking Tate Tate slash ear beating on a Monday morning. I was getting zoom people, but you fucking people don't want to see the zoom people to be honest. We've got so much zoom in our life that I want to narrow it down to certain weeks.

I'll get a zoom for you this week. I finished up the Y fucking. I loved it. I fucking loved it. Is it better than the Sopranos? Is it better than the other show that they, you know, the one on AMC about the speed dealer? I think it's better than breaking bad because I like different elements. I like different elements of a TV show.

I've already seen all the drugs shit. The thing that made you love about the Sopranos was that they incorporate their family life. They incorporated all those little elements that you've never seen before on TV. I think the wire did that with the lesbian cop. You know, Mike's was saying he's up to the episode when she has the baby and she really doesn't want to be involved in the baby's life. Like the baby was a move that was over ahead. I got it. I've been there.

I understand that. That's a great dynamic to put in there. They put in so many dynamics in there. The rat, the snitch that works for Kima that smokes crack and shit. He's all the way in that show to the end. You know, yeah, you know, they, they use so many elements to show you a ghetto, but they didn't want to just show you a ghetto. They wanted to show you the little beautiful things about the ghetto, the little ins and outs to workings, you know, season three. The teacher gets, the cop gets fired.

He becomes a school teacher. All that shit or season four. I don't know. I don't remember. We'll get dominant here in a couple of weeks to talk about it and what happened, even what happened with his character. It's just, I loved how they put it all together. It wasn't a standalone series. It wasn't like law and order that every week is, is a different episode, which I enjoy also.

I love all that shit also. I'm not, I have nothing against it, but it was a great show and it's up there with me. It's up there with the Sopranos for me. I really enjoyed it. I have not watched Sopranos. I know nothing about it. I won't watch Sopranos now for 10 fucking years. I got to tell you something.

It has grown to me that the movie I was in, the many saints was an Academy Award winner. I feel really bad when they announced the award winners last week and do they give anything to Alessandro? I don't think that movie won any fucking Oscars. And I thought it was at least get an Oscar for the music, you know? And it's really weird what happened with that movie all across the fucking board. It's, you know, when I was doing it and before I was doing it and during I was doing it was fun and I really enjoyed myself. But you don't see the other, once you shoot a movie, you don't really see a lot of this shit until the movie comes out. It settles.

I don't even watch it on DVD yet or anything. And I got to tell you something. I was happy with everything about it. I'm sorry it didn't do better in the box office. I'm sorry it wasn't well received as it should have been. But the Sopranos is a tough fan base to please. I didn't know that though after the movie. I didn't know that to like went on YouTube one day.

You know, I was looking at general shit and I saw a video is fully a Tato gay. Like there was again a bunch of smart people watch the Sopranos and they took into this that everything had assigned to it. There's a thousand videos online that I did not know and they got hundreds of thousands of hits. And there's people watching these videos of, you know, they just have so many little was already buko this. You know, they just throw them out to the confusion really happened to the guy at Pines Barons. You know, it was just a lot of shit. And if I would have known it was going to be that tough to please, I would have turned the movie down. Listen, the whole time I wasn't sure about this movie.

I had Tom Pop on the podcast and he talked me into it. And I was like, okay, and then I went in there like a fucking barracuda and I was all in and I gave it 100%. And I'm very proud of what I do in this movie. I'm not taking nothing away from that. The longest shot I was very proud of, but I got a little fucked up at the end of that movie. It didn't end well with the Sopranos. I was great from A to Z with taxi. I was great from A to Z.

There were a lot of movies I did that I was great on. There was one movie that was so bad I had to leave the shooting one night and they ended up paying me. Like I worked till like three and I told them, guys, you never told me this was a night shoot and I just can't do it no more. I'm falling asleep here and they were like, what are you talking about? You're one of the leads. I go, listen, I'll leave my jacket. I'll leave my jacket here and take the chubby camera guy and put him on the floor at the end and make believe it's me dead. And they're like, that's a great idea.

See you later. And I just left fucking crazy the shit I did on some movie sets. But we live and we fucking learn. It's Monday, Valentine's Day. Thank you very much for listening. Thank you for supporting me. I love you motherfuckers with all my heart. I have a little gift for you at the end of the week to my podcast people and my Patreon people.

You'll be very happy. But until then, tip top my goo cock suckers. Have a great day and I'll see you guys Wednesday the 16th. Nice and fucking early, ready to rock. And now for a word from my motherfucking sponsor, Jack. All right, you sabbages. Thank you very much for listening to my ear beating. It's the Monday ear beating with Uncle Joey.

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Stay Black. Have a great day. I'll be back Wednesday, 2, 16, Tip Top, Magoo. Thank you.