Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #141 - The Church Of What's Happening Now

Episode Date: January 13, 2014

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This show is sponsored by Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows, anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to huluplus.com slash joey. That's huluplus.com slash joey. And by dollashaveclub.com, get high quality razors sent to your door each and every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now go to dollashaveclub.com slash church. That's dollashaveclub.com slash church or just go to joeyds.net and click on the dollashaveclub banner. This show is also sponsored by Naturebox where you can order great tasting healthy snacks right to your door. Snacks smarter in the new year with healthy and delicious treats like french toast

granola. Support this podcast and get 50% off your first order. Go to naturebox.com and use promo code joey. That's naturebox.com promo code joey. Oh shit. Are you fucking kidding me or what? Monday, January 13th, the day the devil was buried in fucking sea. The holidays are over, put away the fucking lights cock sucker. Here he comes. Here. What? Get the fuck up you lazy sack of shit. America's wait for you. Don't worry about fucking the golden globes and what doesn't have to do with you. You got one fucking job in mind. Get your fucking lunch money cock sucker. But Lee Wiggle. Oh shit. Ron Kiles and all. We don't give a fuck. Look at that. Spark that motherfucker. Protein shake. Wash your balls. Write your goals. Somebody's getting ready

to suck your dick today. Let's do this. What? Oh shit. Now let's start this motherfucker. What is this American bandstand? Lisa at the Flying Jew flavor coming at you. Monday, January 13th with the fucking bag of machine guns you cock sucker. What's happened though? Feel great. It's awesome. I miss, I wish we had enough time to do this five days a week. It's a, I've never been so happy to wake up at five in the morning. You know, and it's easy to wake up. I was talking to my wife last night that I got up Thursday morning, you know, Tuesday last week I started getting calls on why I shouldn't go to Buffalo. It was the weirdest thing. Like eight people were like, man, you better be careful,

you know, the plane, you're going to get off the fucking thing. And then I was reading into Chicago and I realized I had a land through Chicago. And Thursday morning I'm in that, I'm in that fucking shower at three in the morning. I had to be at the airport at 445. Three in the fucking morning. I'm watching my pussy on six hours of sleep. I'm saying to myself, give me a fucking reason why I wouldn't go. Like give me a reason. If anything, give me a sign. Why would just cancel this fucking thing because of snow, whatever, bullshit, nothing. And I went up to Buffalo, it's one of my favorite fucking places in the world that has been for 30 fucking years. I've been going up there. My first wife was from Buffalo. Really? Yeah. Kathy was from fucking Buffalo.

Wow. So that's how I knew about her family and the University of Buffalo and all that shit. And then I had other friends. It was weird at the time. Everything pointed to me towards Buffalo until this day. I always think that someday I'm going to move to Buffalo. I even said to my wife last night. So cold. It's cold, but the people, the summers, bleed the fucking food up there. Oh, I'm sure it's delicious. Listen, bro, they got this beef on wick on Camelwick Row. I've been eating that shit. That's from Buffalo? Yeah. The beef on wick with some rose beef and some horseradish. You have any fucking idea what that does to you. And they're small. So you could eat like 18 of them. I only talked one. I feel bad for the maid who cleaned your room yesterday.

Oh, I took a lot of this shit. Oh, I was farting. I must have eaten one of those things a day. You know, I had a salad. I had a nice soup up there. But the Paraguays with sauerkraut and some seen those fucking pollocks, they don't fuck around up there. No, like you can't because you have to, you have to be able to like withstand the cold and the winters. You look at the, I went on the treadmill two days in a row because I was there because I was like, you know what, nobody sweats up here. Nobody fucking sweats. It's six months of fucking cold. But I went, I had a fucking great time. I had great sets. The first night I had a fucked up set because I was everywhere. But after that, I focused and I hunkered down. And, you know, I got delayed on the way in, which I expected.

But for me now, comedy isn't about traveling and doing jokes no more. That's what it used to be like. It's not that no more. It's a complete different experience. You know, I got to meet Luca Cabana, who I met before. You know, you get to meet these people that Dan Yard, that Dan Yard, that fucking crazy Arab. I love him. He's calling the fucking hotel. He wants to meet him. Meet him at Jin Jin Chinese restaurant. You know, when you go on the fucking road, I work. There's a lot of people in the stand. I don't want you to take offense. A lot of people go, well, Joy, when you come to town, do my podcast. No, I can't do your podcast because I'm focusing on stand up. When I'm in town Monday through Thursday, I'm focusing on a podcast. I'm focusing on writing. I'm focusing

on all this other shit. So as soon as I get on that fucking plane, my only focus, if I didn't, why do you think Lee isn't with me on every flight with a box of t-shirts? You know why, Lee? Let me tell you why the truth of the matter is not that I don't like his, not that I don't sell t-shirts, not that I don't want somebody with me. I don't want to focus on anything else but fucking stand up. I don't want you to come to me and go, dog, we're out of mediums on Friday. I just don't want to hear that shit. I don't want to hear that shit. So when I get up Friday morning, number two, I got stand up rules that always fuck a person up and they may apply to your life. Number two, I'm there for stand up. Okay. The whole fucking four days I'm here, Lee. The one I call you to,

I've been moving all day. Yeah. I'm driving. I'm fucking going traffic. I'm going here. I'm talking to this guy, this fucking idiot wants me to do this for fucking $10. It's just a nightmare. When I travel, I just want peace. Because if I can come up with one new joke of fucking night, you know, I don't want to drive nowhere. You want to take me and train me in jujitsu. It's got to be 10 minutes from the fucking club of the hotel. I don't want to drive 25 fucking hours or 25 fucking minutes. Yeah. I cannot be around a ton of people in the daytime. I know that you're very nice and you have great friends, but here's the problem. When I start bullshitting with you, I waste my energy. I'm 50. I don't have energy to do two shows and then talk to 400 fucking people

at night. If I spent three hours over it, you know what I'm saying? Like people like, let's go to dinner. What the fuck is wrong with you? Yeah. I told you the last time I was here, I don't eat before shows. It's my two hours of fucking peace Saturday. Saturday. I'm already thinking about Monday morning's podcast. Really? When I wake up Saturday, I'm already eating my oatmeal. I write, I drink some coffee, I smoke some fucking reefer. I might get on the computer, but not tweeting or Facebooking. I get on a lit lift and I write, I do whatever the fuck I got to do. But I'm, and I also do a work on them because I know I'm not going to be able to work out Sunday. When I get off the plane, it's going to be rushing the baby, the wife, they want to go to a park,

they want to go to Rob's, they want to go shopping, coffee, whatever the fuck I'm going to do. So it's very weird that, you know, I love going on the road with Joe because Joe never expecting anything from us on Saturdays and Fridays. He writes. So I'm used to that mentality of just solitude. I don't want to do dick. I don't want to drive 30 minutes. I don't want to meet your brother's restaurant. I don't want to fucking do nothing. I'm focused on giving you guys a good show at night. Yeah. If I go eat legit and talk to 18 people and you introduce, and there's always a, by the way, oh, we got to stop with my grandmother. She's a fan of the longest show. I go fuck yourself. I have my time. I wish I did. I wish I did. I have a buddy in Buffalo, great buddy, Tim McKenna.

No, Tim McKenna for 30 fucking years. This last time on the way out, I love Timmy, but he always says to me, what would it take to cancel your flight? Tim, nothing. Nothing. You know, what people don't understand is once I do that last show, before I get on stage, before I show up to that fucking comedy club on Saturday, I'm packed. Really? I'm packed. Yeah, because my flight's leaving at 5.30, 5.6, 4.30. I don't have time. When I get back until it'd be 12.30, I smell like armpits from hugging people. I take a shower, I get out, I drink a little soda, some water, and I fucking go to bed. I get three hours in. You know, and the people always come up like, what would it take? Nothing. You don't understand. When I get off stage and I'm hugging

you, I'm thinking about getting the fuck out of there already, but not even getting the fuck out of the club and getting the fuck away from you as a human being. The state. Like, I'm already on the red-eye mentally. If there was a way I could get from the club back to the hotel to the red-eye, I'm done. I would take my luggage, rip me to the fucking comedy club. Once they fucking pay me, my job is done. It's too bad they don't have a 2AM flight. Yeah, no. And, you know, my world, you have to understand that my world starts on a Monday, just like yours, and it bangs it the fuck out. And it's constant. It's fucking constant. You know, I have a notebook. I look at it like today. I got a 9.30, a fucking 11.30, a one, a fucking 4.30, an eight o'clock at night. That's

if I don't do a set tonight. I might get a wild bug up my ass and go, well, let's go do a set at the Agostino's or whatever. It's kind of crazy when I'm with you around here. You're almost, not hibernating, but like, you've almost fallen asleep in the green room. It's like kind of weird to see, like, because you really do conserve, because I can't imagine even just talking to somebody for an hour, but you're up there like really, like, you would, people would think you're like not that animated just because like, if you're a bigger guy or something, but you really do jump around and you're yelling and it's fucking, you know, you don't want to, I learned from years of bombing. My money nights are Fridays and Saturdays. So Fridays and Saturdays, I got to be

tip top, tip fucking top Thursday. You want to get there and jump up and down and look at the hot dog. But Friday and Saturday is a performer for you. You're paying for me to go see. I need to be in tip top shape mentally, physically. You know, I used to do a grandma blow the night before two grams of blowing on Saturday night. I would suck two shows. This is, this is why I didn't get nowhere. These are the reasons why, because I didn't respect my Fridays and Saturdays. When people come see you on Friday and Saturday, you know, Thursday night, oh my God, he was cute. He was talking about his cat and his dog and life and it really wasn't that funny, but it was very interesting. No, on Fridays and Saturdays, people want to see the fucking, they go to the fucking circus to see

the fucking lines in the Tigers. They don't want to see no clowns or no fucking ice-keet walking on a tightrope, Houdini or whatever. They want to go see a fucking line. So for me to be a fucking line, I got no time to hook up and talk about fucking sports and what the goddamn is bothering you. I got my own problems. I put them aside and I go on that fucking stage and I'm going to go fucking bananas for you. So please understand Dan Bar, Sean Connors. I love you motherfuckers, but Friday and Saturday for me is fucking D-Day. I ain't got nothing better to do than drink coffee, smoke my little fake cigarette, hit that thing. I try to go to the pool at the hotel. If they have a steam bath, I take a steam. It's about me to give you the best and sometimes if you

guys do that with your jobs, I'm sure you'd be a lot better at your jobs. Yeah. You know, you focus on your job. A lot of people go to work. This is why I hate the fucking holidays, because it's a six month mind fuck on some people. So if you own a business, you got people thinking about, well, I gotta get my uncle Leo. I don't give a fuck about your uncle Leo. What the fuck? Jesus was a fucking Jew. You know what I'm saying? Get it together. And that happens constantly with people. They lose their, you know, I look at this, I have a friend that I went to the high school with. I love her. I dated her for a long time. There was only one problem, bro. She's one of those people that's always talking about the next vacation. Since we were kids.

Since we were kids. Seriously. Since we were kids, she was always, on October, I'm gonna go to San Francisco and you know, she was a sweetheart of a girl, but she was a travel agent for a while. And it's like, I can't imagine being her husband. Yeah. Because they're always, you know, on Sunday, she couldn't fucking just sit still. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. She wanted to go to a farmer's market in Connecticut because they sell apples made with honey. I don't give a fuck. Get it together. I got shit to do. What's going on, Lisa? Yeah, you bad motherfucker. You I'm going through a fucking moving down and sucks, but I think I find a place. Did you find a nice place? We'll see. I mean, because I'm going through the thing right now where either the amount

of money, I can either have a nice place in like the hood, or I can have a smaller place in a nicer area. So I think I'm going to go with the smaller place in the nicer area. I'm too white to be in the hood. I did that once. I did that over by the hookers and on Sepulveda and I can't do that again. I don't think it was supposed to be there. After a while, you got to have a nice place and take care of yourself, you know, and that's what I'll say. I never had my own space after my mother died. I was sturdy. I was on people's couches and I'm an only child and my mind fucking requires a little fucking peace and it's amazingly that I'm 50. I don't feel 50. But again, you see it. You have to conserve your energy. I never really had to conserve my energy before. You know, I do this.

I love getting up and doing this. I'm wide awake. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. This, this shit don't bother me. So weird shit happened. What happened? And like I tell you, I always, I always, I'm very happy that my memory always is sharp, but it really isn't at the end of the day. It's just better than most motherfuckers because most people forget everything they fucking do. You know, sometimes when I tell a story, I'm even blown away from it. So I'm talking to a friend of mine. Get out of the plane yesterday. Boom. I land my phone rings as I'm checking out the airport. It's a friend of mine. He goes, Hey, I went to a party last night and I bumped into a lot of your old friends and one of them was saying that he wants to write a book, but because of his position

in the town, he can't do it. And he was thinking about writing under your name. I go, you know, I'd love to write a book about North Bergen and just, you know, and he goes, wouldn't you think to that? And I go, no, you wouldn't be ratting on anybody. You'd just be talking about the lessons we learned. It's like this thing that's going on right now with the mayor in Jersey, the, the fatty guy with the governor. I wasn't asking about that. Listen, let me tell you something, my friend. If you don't think he fucking knew, you think his aides came up with this and didn't say this to this fucking guy? That's how New Jersey is. You know, Christie's got something against my mayor and Mayor Sacco in North Bergen. And I understand the whole politic game,

but for him to sit there, he's a great liar, Governor Christie, for him to sit there and see. Oh yeah. He's gonna be president in a few years. I don't know if he's going to be president. This might knock him. I liked how he addressed it, but I don't think he'd be present because he's, he's something to do in New Jersey. You know, all those guys took an envelope at one time or another. And once you take an envelope, see 30 years ago, you could take a fucking envelope. Now you can't take an envelope because the guys that give you the fucking envelope are out. Right. Yeah. That's how bad it is. The guys that gave you the envelope now will rat on you when they get into a fucking bind. Yeah. So it's very hard to fucking take an envelope and run for

president. That should go so far. I'm surprised he's been there so far. But see, it's already starting to back up. But something, when you're in that political thing, they approach you and you have no fucking choice because you're surrounded. It's too many of them. It's too many. You're just one governor and it's 18 different capos in the fucking district and they could change your fucking lights by, and it's amazing how the mob and politics works in New Jersey. So you definitely think he knew. So for people who don't know that it was the George Washington Bridge and like last year, they closed one. But number two, also, Fort Lee, New Jersey is like the third or fourth Asian population in the country. So you got your own fucking problems.

That's what those people don't fucking know. Fort Lee's always been filled with fucking Bruce Lee's nephews, always. What did you say that on the air? No, what do you want me to fucking say? I'm the only one that's going to say it's the truth. I'll call George right now. Fort Lee, New Jersey has always been like for the last 15 days. They've been the second biggest Asian population, Koreans and shit, driving on the right hand fucking sides till they put steering wheels because they confused Japanese people. So from Governor Christie to fucking add to this, you know, he's over there. I don't know what happened. Listen, your age just don't wait. Nobody fucking leave. Let me ask you something. All right, let's be honest. Let's take it to the

next level. You and me are friends. If you find out that somebody that another podcast network fucked with us and in your mind, you said, you know what? I'm not even going to tell Joey. I'm just going to take action. I'm going to go shoot these motherfuckers. Let Joey find out later. You wouldn't do that, Lee. You always come to me and say, I'm a little fucking pissed off. I have an idea. Yeah, you're right. You follow me. Well, let's take it. No assistant gets paid that much to want to be a killer for somebody else. Okay, don't don't please don't insult us. And this is what I'm saying to you people growing up there. I studied new the worst politics there are Hudson County politics and Cook County, Chicago, whatever, Chicago is crazy. Okay, Chicago's politics are

off the chain. It's a lesson to live there. When you live there and you see right through it, that'll carry you for the rest of your life because you see through bullshit. You see through bullshit in so many fucking angles. And Governor Christie, you know, has a cabinet of aides, a bunch of scumbags, in other words, that sit around you that, you know, yes, mayor, no mayor, you know, yes, governor, no governor. I mean, you see it and you want to fucking shoot yourself in the fucking head because they act like there's this fucking Buddha like they know all, but because of their of their need for power, they fucking slip all the time. That need for power makes them slip. They just can't be content with what they have.

Once they get that little taste, man, look at the mayor in North Bergen, he's been there for 19 years. This guy, I know that fucking mutt when he was a school teacher at Lincoln School. I know that fucking mutt and sacco when he was this fucking principal at Lincoln School. And right, Rago used to fucking abuse him and shit. Now he's the mayor, having affairs, getting his dick sucked. It must be easy to let it slip like that. Sure, gotta slip because you got 19 people doing your fucking job, but there's too many people involved for you to do anything only. Lee, the biggest thing you have in your life is when you get when you do something with three or four people in the fucking room, that's going to send you to fucking jail.

All those mayors in Hudson County, Hoboken, Union City, Jersey City, all those mayors always end up in one place. Check it out. Go to Wikipedia Hudson County mayors. They all end up in fucking prison. Same with the Chicago. All of them. It's like all Illinois governors because they're fucking corrupt. It's not that even corrupt. It's that you slipped. It's the, you know, we're all fucking sinners. Ask Joel Osteen. You loved Joel Osteen recently. He's a bad motherfucking dog. We were all fucking sinners at the end and it's right in front of us. It's our human nature to slip like that. Can you imagine, Lee, that you go from being

Lisa, yeah, to a different fucking girl knocking on your door every night, for me getting you water, for me getting you, no, no, no, Mr. Governor, let me, Mr. Governor works out. You got a guy drying you off, telling you what's going on, reading the paper to you while you're doing jumping jazz. That's extreme. And pretty soon you start to believe it. You start to believe it. You start to believe it. And that's when you fucking slip. And it's very easy to go, hey, that fucking Lisa, yeah, he thinks he's a bad motherfucker. Go do that thing with the Lincoln tunnel. Get that guy on the phone. Block it off. We'll put this in the paper. See how long he'll be fucking May high five. And they said high five. It's like when you see the feds, when they arrested like Gotti, they hife, oh

my god, today, a big thing happened in law enforcement. Nothing happened. You went after Pete, but now you got Joe to deal with. He's fucking robbing with three hands because while you're looking at Pete, Joe's dealing with 19 fucking hands. You don't think they know that? So while you think you put, you cover the hole in the fucking levee, three more opened up, you fucking moron. Do you understand me how this works? So as long as you know this going in, this will be with you the rest of your fucking life. That's what I realized growing up in North Bergen, New Jersey. That's why you can't pull the fucking wool out of my eyes. Every once in a while, I'll fucking slip. But for the most part, politically, like when I see political

things, or when I went, what a coincidence that this guy said fag and also a month later, the show's premiering. Duck Dynasty. Did you see that move, people? Did you not see that fucking move coming? I didn't even know when the season was starting, but I knew there was a, by the way, again, these guys have the highest rated show in cable history. They're not satisfied. So that's how you slip up. You know how many people, because listen, whether it's good or bad, some people are going to get affected by it and they're really going to move on or go, I saw through the fucking move. Oh my God. What am I for? Nobody wants to see that the light turned on on them. Then they feel fucking bad. But anyway, what are we talking about? About North Bergen.

So he tells me this, whatever. And I'm like, you know what? I got to start writing my fucking book. I go in last night, I'm checking my messages and behold in front of me. I got a message from a kid that says, how are you doing? My name is, my mom was Eileen Mooney. And I've never really talked about Eileen Mooney and I felt fucking horrible. Eileen Mooney was a girl I met my freshman year. That was not, excuse me. She wasn't the most, she wasn't Farrah Fawcett. But what she lacked in looks, she had and warmed. It was overwhelming. I met her on the football field. She was one of the stacked girls or whatever. Overbite, you know, brown hair, Irish to the fucking end, very outlandish whatever. And when you're 15 or 14, you don't really know. If a girl talks to you, looks at you

right away, she wants to fuck you. Yeah. And she used to talk to me all the time. I didn't know what to expect. You know, I was very, I was shy. I was, I wasn't the best looking fucking kid. And then I got sick my sophomore year. And she showed up at the hospital with a bunch of hot girls. And she had a boyfriend. So I know she didn't want to fuck me. So she taught me the gift of having a girl that was just a friend. Because I told it on the Beauty and the Beast podcast. One of, one of the things that we lack as of men is we want to fuck everybody and you can't fuck everybody. You got to have some broads as your friends. It helps you out. It balances you to have a female flavor in your fucking life, you know. So she did that for me. And we were friends

over the years and we used to giggle and she was sleeping with one of my buddies. I don't know what happened. She started sleeping with one of his brothers, which that guy was one of my best friends, Jimmy Burkle, who just died last April. So I don't know what the fuck happened. You know, my life went into a tailspin. My mother died. She showed up at the wake. We were all friends for years. You know, the drugs came in and, but there was this band. She was a little older than I was. Maybe two years older than I was, maybe a year older, but she acted in those days to be 16, you were 25 as a woman. Yeah. You went to clubs in New York. It was this popular band right now. In fact, the Passmaster, Steve Villo's band, their roots were in a band called the Bangs.

The Bangs were a huge bar band in the 70s in New Jersey, Connecticut, in that area, and they had people who would follow them. She was one of those girls, I think, that would go to see the Bangs. But she was not, I don't want to say she was promiscuous, you know, God forbid. She just, she was a girl, a guy. She was a girl. In those days, you were broke, you went out, you showed some cleavage, some guys bought you drinks. We knew the deal. We used to hear them talk, and I used to laugh. Jesus, you girls go out and do that. I don't know when. It was right before I went to Colorado. She was dating somebody. She went out. She came home. The doorbell rang at two in the morning. She opened the door and

they shot her in the fucking face. What? The cigarette was still lit in her face when the cops got there. She had a brother who was a fucking savage. It was a cop. They had to go arrest him and take this gun away from him. It shocked the community. It shocked the family. Her brother did it? No, no, no, no. Some guy she was dating, got blasted one night, was jealous, and went and shot her. You know, and it was a shock to the community, but she had left a girl and a baby boy to some contact of me and says that he wants to write a book about her and that he didn't know. He doesn't want to write about the murder, but the beauty that she had about it, because he heard such great things and how she grew up and blah, blah, blah. And the murder was,

I don't know who did it. And it's like I emailed him back yesterday that at that time, 82, 83, it was fucking crazy. And that fed into the craziness. So it seemed like something, I was going to Colorado, it seemed like something, I didn't even go to the wake, I don't think. I was trying to think last night when I went to the wake. And then I started thinking about when I was writing him back the message that here I was her friend and I don't really have an answer for him on what happened because, and it makes me feel bad because she was a friend. But you can't know, like that seems like something that's really like personal. Like if it's on an issue with like, she was a boyfriend, you can't be expected to know

like that deep into someone's life. We were that close, not me and her, but that community was that close. But like, let's say, I mean, I know at the end they did, but did your friends in Colorado know like when you started having problems with Carol, your ex-wife, did they know then? Because it seems like it seems like you wouldn't say that at the beginning. It seems like you kind of keep that inside. I don't know. I don't know what happened. I don't know how I reacted to her death and it just bothered me last night because I was in that circle, not really her circle, but I was in the circle next to it. And I don't remember, you know, it was just fucked up. I remember they arrested the guy and the game of life sentence or something for 10 years. I don't know what happened,

but I didn't know what had happened to the boy. And this just shocked me last night. But the other side of this that shocked me was to a guy like me, it means that she's still alive, you know? Like, I like all that shit. When somebody's still thinking about some, I mean, for God's sake, I was just fucking mother. They shot him. I think he said he was four. Oh my God. So, you know, and after having Ray Kanell on last week and talking about that side, like, it didn't end for me for a long time, guys. Like, it just didn't fucking end. And after a while, I felt like a fucking schlep rock, you know? Like, that's what it was. When she got shot, I was like, I'm over it already. I got over it when Dominic died. Like, now just keep him piling. Keep piling those fucking bodies

up now. I don't give a fuck. But I did give a fuck. It was just that that's why I reacted, because it hit me a little bit last night, her death. At the time, I was so numb from the drugs and I was so piled up into my life that I didn't feel what she meant to me. And that's what I'm trying to say, Lee. That's what I'm trying to say, that I didn't, I felt bad because it didn't hit me. It hit me last night. It took me a lot of fall asleep last night. It took me a long fucking time to fall asleep. It's so sad that all those kids I grew up with died like that. And I always think that, and that was one of the things. I always wanted to feel like I was living for them. You know, not much Eileen Mooney, but the kids that Ray Kanell had talked about downtown. Ray was

great. He hit me up a couple of times. It's weird. For me, it's weird to even still talk to Ray. Like now I'm happy. I have his phone number so I could talk to Ray once a week. I still got to get my other buddy on, Dean LaPri, who was also in the band. And you guys, he said that he would never fucking call it. He would point blank. He would never call. And in fact, he was so scared of me that the last time we spoke, I said, think about it and I'll give you a call. He wouldn't even call. He Facebooked me before I could even fucking call him. It's crazy to say that though, because when I went home for the holidays, I had, from my bar mitzvah, my mom made this mural, which is a picture of me growing up and she did the same thing for my brother.

And I was looking at my brothers and there's a picture of him with this kid who grew up like two streets down. And there was a brother my age and a brother his age and a couple of other brothers. And when the kid, when the guy, my brother's age was in college, at like 20 years old, one day he just jumped in front of a train and he killed himself. And I never really thought about it because we never really hung out, but he, I always saw him. We would get on the bus together and stuff and just seeing his picture there as like a 10 year old kid. I just, like, I can't even imagine. Like, I didn't really process it when it happened, but he was 20 years old and he just jumped in front and I just saw his picture as like a 10 year old to like,

like freaking me out for like a day when I was home. Like a 20 years old full of life, you know, to take your life away like that. And that's what happened when I was in Mooney. And it just, and I had it happen about a month and a half ago, a girl that I grew up with called me out of the blue and said, Hey, man, congratulations on the DeNiro movie. And we started talking and I said, What have happened to such and such? And she goes, You know what? I'm going to look into that girl. And she called back two days and she goes, She died. She died last year, 49 years old, you know? So I contacted, she told me to go look at up her picture and she told me the kid's name on Facebook. So I went to Facebook,

looked up the kid's name and there was a picture of it. So I hit him up and asked him what happened and about a month later he hit me back and he goes, You know, it's weird because way before you contacted me, I was into your comedy from the Joe Rogan podcast and here you are hitting me up, asking me about my mom and it felt great and blah, blah, blah. So I asked my dad and my dad said she didn't know you or Coco from Jersey. And you know, can you tell me one of her stories? You know, and one of my most famous stories where I was being in New York starting to blow with fucking Paul Newman's daughter. And we're upstairs and I've told this story, we're upstairs in the room, me, Aaron Loobs, and Loobs opens up a drawer and there's a bag of fucking blow.

Oh, you have told this to her? Okay. I don't know how many ounces in there. And I go, we should take some of it. And she goes, fuck it. Let's take it all. But that was, you know, one thing about Regina that she taught me was that I had a, for a long couple of years, I was a little confusedly. For years there, after my mother's death, I became meek. Like, I didn't want to pull the trigger. I had forgotten who I was, that the drugs had watered me down in the effect of the death and watered me down. But it was Regina Gordon and Mike Ronny, who had such a suck my dick attitude. Like, go fuck your mother, suck my dick attitude. Like, Ronny fucking and pounded it into me. And hanging out with Regina that was last year,

before I left New Jersey, we would go out at night and she had this attitude, like, watch me. Like, Regina go up there and talk to that guy, you're fucking whatever, you want some blow. Okay, watch, man. You go, no, no, no, I was just fucking up. Watch. And she come back with a grandma fucking blow and laughing, laughing about it. She didn't give a fuck, Lee. She didn't give a fuck. And people say they don't give a fucking life. I don't give a fuck. There's people just talking. There's people that really don't give a fuck. And she was one of them. And Mike Ronny was one of them. And it really rubbed off on me at an age where I needed to have that. I was a little bit too uptight. I was a little bit too, and well, what are they going to think about? No, who gives a

fuck? Go in there and tell that motherfucker to suck your dick. And that was Regina. So I don't know how to put that on paper to tell the son. That's my favorite story here is that I don't want to tell somebody a story about drugs. I don't want to tell some kid that the best time being your mom had was being in the city and taking some guys down to blow. I don't think it's the same because that's why I don't let my mom listen to the podcast because she's from a generation where it would freak her out. But I think in this day and age, I think that's maybe why you're having problems writing the book. I don't think it's that bad anymore because it taught you a life lesson. And you don't do coke anymore. And yeah, it hurt some people. But if that's where you learned

your life lesson, it's good. I mean, no one should do coke. But if a happy story of you and his mom still sticks to you that day, I would want to hear it. You know how much it devastated me when I found out my dad did drugs? Do you know how much it devastated me years later? But right then, does it still devastate you? Yeah, it devastates me. And you know, it's going to be devastating in that mercies that I know that I did drugs by listening to these podcasts or looking at an old video. I never wanted a kid to... I always think it hurts when a kid

knows his parents get high. I always don't like that because now it makes your hero get high. Listen, no matter how you look at your parents or your heroes until a certain age, then you discover Carl Yostramski, you discover fucking Gus Williams or Gus Johnson. You know what I'm saying? But in the core of your life, your parents are your fucking heroes. Once you realize of their slip, it makes your slip more probable. And it makes your slip easier because your parents did it. But what if it's not a slip? What if like... When I grew up, they had the dare program where the drugs were the worst thing and it didn't work.

I understand Coke's bad and you're always going to tell Mercy to not do it. But if she grows up in a family where you're just honest and you're like, yeah, I smoke pot and you should wait to do it, but it's not the worst thing, I don't think it'd be that traumatizing for her. You know, Lee, I wonder what a national poll would be if they'd seen how many people get high and if their parents got high. And then if they tested to see if they knew, when did you know that your parents got high? I wonder if it affects in your making the decision of getting high. I really wonder what the... I know for years, for years, I lied to myself.

Four or three years, I said, you know, I'm not going to put nothing on my nose. And I'll tell you what, I don't know what the worst thing was, the death of my mother, the death of the kids around me, or what deteriorated my inner belief system, the worst than when I put powder in my nose. Because for so long, I was against it. I was so fucking against it. I was so disgusted by it. I couldn't believe a human being would put something in their fucking nose. So by the time came, it's like the first day I had bad credit, when when I was 30, I got divorced, 28, I got divorced. And my main goal always was to have great credit. If I had a payment due on the 23rd, I paid on the 21st, the day I couldn't make a

payment leave that day, that I still remember how bad I felt. Once I didn't make that payment, I said, fuck the rest of the payments, because it broke my belief, you know, that takes a long time to get your inner belief back once the drugs breaks it. And that's something that I realized years later, I thought about that, you know, it's a joke when I say that story about being a little kid and my mom having a piñata for the adults aluminum foil and she'd go go get me that fucking, it's a joke, but it really isn't. It's really fucking sad. And at that time, my mom had to fucking tell me in her world and how the person she was, she had to tell me, because I think she would have thought it would have devastated me if I would have found out a different way and it

would have. So it's a two-edged sword for a guy like me. You know what I'm saying? It's a two-edged sword. That's all I feel cock-sucking. What are you looking at me like that for? No, I'm just, there was a guy at the grocery store the other day, a few weeks ago, asking me to donate to get dare back. And I didn't want to do it because it, I feel like it's the wrong message. And I definitely don't, I, because for you, you don't drink because you had, when your mom had a bar and you saw what it did, and you still don't drink and you drank a little bit when doing coke, but it was never this week and I had two shots of Yeager at the bar for anything. Yeah, yeah, two shots and, but let's see, but most people have that every weekend, so like a drinking never got to you.

So I don't think, I think, I don't think your mom doing it affected you. I don't think that's the reason why you did coke. I think that's just part of the list. No, no, with part of the scenario. So I don't, I don't think mercy personally, if, if, because knowing the way you and your wife are, I don't think you're gonna try to hide it. I don't think you're gonna start smoking outside and, and if anyone comes up to you talking about Chewbacuse, you're not gonna throw them away. I think from an early age, she's gonna know about weed and, and she'll probably want to try it, but I don't think she's gonna. I don't want to smoke in the house. I don't smoke in the house now when she's around at all. And if I smoke in that bedroom at night, the door is closed. I open up

the window, I have the breezes, I like the candle. Yeah, no, I'm not saying you're smoking in front of her, but. Yeah, I don't want it to be open. My wife don't smoke. I don't think you're gonna hide it from her. I don't know yet. I don't know yet. I do not know yet. I do not know how to act yet around. This is, she's been around for a year and I'm still getting used to this shit. She's growing. Because she still kind of relented to one area. She's almost to that point where she's gonna be running around. Yeah, she could open up the gates now. She figured it out. Oh, she did? She had to loosen it and open it. It's, it's amazing how fast and they move and do their fucking shit. So get up cocksuck as it's Monday. Whereas I want to be around real quick before I

call. Let's fucking do this shit. Little something for the fucking spirits on a Monday. Get your shit together, cocksuckers. Write your goals. Smoke some dope. Eat some opiates. Your resolutions start today. Resolutions start every day. It's not every day in my life. Sing it, Lee, you cocksucker. Are you fucking kidding me or what? I wonder how much Tony Bennett wants from the rights to this song. I think we should try to buy it from him. He wants too much loot. Tony Bennett's a fucking Animali, you know what I'm saying? He wants too much fucking loot, Lee. Probably. What else is going on, you bad motherfucker? No, I'm trying to think. I mean, it's just I'm going through the thing. Oh, the mom

that I went and had lunch with the girl the other day and the mom made me, I should tell you how much food she brought me, but she made me chicken, Mexican chicken noodle soup. So I've never had that before with the girlfriend's mom. With the fucking chicken's head in there with the beak. Oh, no, she took that out. She made that with Pasola once and that freaked me out a little bit. Would you see the eyeballs? No, no, no. The head was in there, but like the whole chicken was in there. But no, she made me like so much food and she called yesterday and I can't talk directly to her really, because she doesn't speak English. But she was like, she was over the phone saying, does he want more food? Or I would just say, it's a cool, it's a cool thing to have.

Mexican mother in law. Oh yeah, she's great. The chicken noodle soup. I usually, I don't like it usually, but it was spicy. It was. I should have take the fucking flu right out of here. Oh my HIV flu fucking pink guy. You just rub it. She was gonna make me voodoo stuff. I couldn't do it. Voodoo stuff. She does like this voodoo drink and I can't do it. Now, what about the they put the lime in the soup? Probably. Yeah, they put the lime in the soup. Like the Cubans that gives it the fucking way. I took my wife to Coach Nieto a couple of weeks ago. She was sick and I gave her the fucking Cuban chicken soup with the with the big piece of corn in it. And I gave Oh my god. And you could see the difference. You could see the texture of the bones like the juice

from the fucking marrow was in there because they told the whole chicken alive. There's mud in there. There's chicken shit and all mixed together just zaps fucking germs. It's amazing. I feel bad for my mom because there's no way like I like my mom's cooking. She's a great cook, but there's just no comparison really when you look at it. And it's just it's like my kids are never going to know the difference. No, it's it's amazing though. It's it's you wonder what California would be like without Mexicans. They'd be still eating it out burgers. Oh, yeah, they'd be online. Have you ever tried to have Mexican food on the East Coast? I was joking with Paula. It's horrendously bad. She would get let me tell you what happens when you take a Mexican from here

or a Mexican that knows food to the East Coast. They want to cancel out everything and open up a Mexican restaurant. I told I told Paula's mom this year for two years you'll be a millionaire millionaire and you start small an office that just does burritos that deliver just just the tacos just the top because they don't have those little they don't have them. They don't have that. They don't have that. They don't have nothing like that. And what they do have is horrendously bad and it's overpriced. Yeah. And it's like the Italians that are here, you know, they're three generations away. The food blows. They give you this ciabatta bread. What the fuck is ciabatta bread? Who the fuck invented ciabatta bread? Fucking jack-in-the-box and the whole it's amazing every fucking six

months. One of these fat food chains invent a new fucking word. This restaurant I was at in Buffalo was a great place but everything was ciabatta bread. This is Buffalo bitch. There ain't no fucking ciabatta bread in Buffalo. This is a motherfucking wick type of town. Get your shit together. But it's amazing. Everybody wants to be trendy and shit. You know, I'm Rosemary Ciabatta. It's gonna be a piece of Italian bread. God fuck it and make this easy on everybody. You're fucking mo mo. I talked to my ranch dressing up there. They fucking hate it. Oh shit. Oh shit. What's happening my brother? How you doing? You know me? Dog waiting on you. Making sure it's a beautiful day to be alive. George MMA junkie on the phone ladies and gentlemen. What's happening baby?

Not much man. Just getting ready to tackle the week. You know what I'm saying? It's been a little slow in my world. The MMA world. A few weeks off. No major shows but they're coming and some good fights are coming our way. Where you coming from right now? You coming back in the gym? No no no. Actually in my area AT&T just doesn't have good service so you know the couple times I've been lucky enough to do your guys this show. I get in the car and I drive down about two blocks away where the coverage improves dramatically. So I'm just in the car chilling. Yeah I can't believe that it's been like ever since the first of the year. There's nothing. People have been fucking really jones and I think glory was the last thing right? Wasn't I don't even know. That's

how far confused I was by the holidays. Yeah yeah technically there was glory and then there was the UFC 168 and then after that it's just a few weeks off. It really isn't much. There's no offseason but for us it feels like a lot when you can take two three weeks off from you know from the job I guess. So it does freshly kick up though. No no so it kicks off Wednesday right with Philip who against Luke Brockhold whatever his fucking name was Luckhold or something. Yeah yeah Luke Brockhold versus Costa Phillips. That's a great fight. They're coming off a loss but but they're beast you know so it should be a good made of air. And then Saturday we got fights also or the following week we have fights we have Chicago. Yeah if we're just gonna stick to the UFC thing

when you're right we have to wait till the following week when they go to UFC goes on Big Fox out in Chicago. And who's on that car? They got the World Series of Fighting that's gonna happen this weekend and then of course Access TV. You have all the different cards you know the regional cards from all over the world they're pretty consistent but the UFC's on the 25th and then right before Super Bowl they have a card and then they come back to Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas so they have about about a month where like three weeks is pretty active. So let's start with Chicago. Who's on the Chicago card? That one's headlined by Josh Thompson versus Benson Henderson. Oh shit. That guy's there. Yeah that's forgot about that. That's what you mean for Anthony

Pettison belt in the lightweight division. 155 pounds. Okay and then after that you've got the Super Bowl card in New Jersey the night before the Super Bowl. Who's headlining that card? That's Uriah Faber against Baral, correct? Yeah. He's the actual Mandalay champion now. Right. Dominic Cruz. Dominic Cruz had to relinquish the belt because he got hurt again so he'll be defending against Uriah Faber and then the other one is Jose Aldo versus Ricardo Lama. So two titles at stake there for the UFC in the lower weight classes. Wow. Who else is on that card for the Super Bowl? There was some other. I was at Frank Muir and Alistair Overeem in the back. Oh shit and this could be do or die for Frank Muir you know. Oh and Alistair Overeem

they're both coming off two losses, correct? Yeah actually Muir's coming off three. Overeem's coming off two. But I'll tell you what you know the stakes are really high because both guys are getting up there in age. Nobody wants to be a you know the loser of fourth straight fight because at that point you know if the fans are going to want you to contemplate retirement maybe your family maybe hell yourself the promotion may even give you the brief. I mean both guys are popular they've been around for a long time but you know it's becoming a young men's sport. It's the changing of the guard again. Last night I was watching uh I was just going through the channels and I was watching Junior against Roy Nelson and Junior and him were pounding

the fuck out of each other. I mean karate kicking punches to the midsection kicks and I looked to see what year that was and it was 2010. Maybe the card to fight was maybe 2000. I'm not sure but it's amazing on how fast those two guys I don't want to say they were relevant in the heavyweight division but not right now you're looking at you know some other guys in the heavyweight division that are uh you know uh take who just beat the babyface assassin. Like right now he's a very you know it's amazing how fast the guard is changing. You know yesterday I bumped into somebody at the airport and we were talking about uh that they already planned the return of Anderson Silva against GSB you know it's like uh in a way we're holding on to those two but yeah it's funny because

in boxing people say do you still want to see Manny and Floyd and I say of course I do with both great fighters the only problem is I wanted to see it more three years ago. Right. I'll still take it it lost a little bit of its buzz but I'll still take it I'm a fight fan so the same thing goes for Anderson Silva and GSB you know GSB taking that little hiatus Anderson Silva obviously is recovering from a serious injury but I think both will be back and now maybe without the titles maybe maybe they'll do it maybe they'll feel like that pressures off or whatever and maybe they'll make the fight happen but it won't be as big as it would have been two three years ago. It's amazing how I asked I watched somebody uh on Twilly yesterday John Fitch when is your next fight you know John Fitch is in

the world series now I'm still one of his biggest fans but it's like three years ago him and the other guy from Aka and I haven't even heard from the other guy in Aka the one that left and opened up his own gym. Mike Swick he's down in Thailand. No the other guy. Oh no you're thinking of Josh Costa. Yeah. Well about two months ago a guy named Tyrone would be knocked out by Josh Costa. Right I remember that. Right I fucked. So Costa is also working off the loss before that which is to Robbie Lawler so he's on a two-fight losing streak himself now he's 35-36 depending on father time it just catches up with all of us. It's uh it's really amazing how fast the sport's going but it's a big time changing in the guard and listen it's for the better in a way that 185 and I've discussed it before

it's stacked we haven't even seen Jacare really fucking come out yet you know the machete is at 185. I mean uh Weidman I love him to death but he's he's in the fucking mouth of the valley who's in the bible that they sent to him you're in the mouth of the Moses or somebody who the fuck was it Leah Jewish what the fuck. Somebody was in the valley of darkness and they fucking called Jesus he's like you're fucked. Weidman's got Vitor, Jacare, Machita you know he's he's you know 170 is fucking stacked with uh I mean I can't wait to see Fidel against uh what's his name in Dallas. Robbie Lawler. Robbie Lawler that's gonna be a fucking fistic because somebody's head might fucking come off in Dallas. I mean there's some uh great fight cards coming up

I just found out about Orlando who the fuck is fighting Mickey Mouseville? Orlando? You're breaking news with me I didn't hear about Orlando. Yeah I don't know there's a fighting fucking Orlando who the fuck fights in Orlando I thought Mickey Mouse said no fucking head pulling it's the week before Baltimore they're having something in Orlando. Oh okay okay yeah so in Baltimore it's in uh April. April 25th. April John Jones versus Glover T'Chara one week before they may have something in Orlando the UFC Fight Night series right those fights sometimes get announced you know and I may you know get backed up a day or two on the smaller cards so I could see that because they usually use those cards to promote the bigger

cards. So uh uh the last time we spoke we spoke about a little issue you had had that I had gone through for a long time uh I don't know if you want to discuss it you know but it helped me out talking about it. Yeah I've kind of I've kind of brought it up before the car audience and the anxiety stuff man I'll tell you what I uh do you remember that show Jersey Shore? Yeah. Do you guys remember that? Yes. It was it was a kid named Vinny one of the meatheads or whatever one of the what they call pet juice heads but uh. Goombas whatever. Goombas yeah those guys and you know those guys will start to get paid a hundred thousand dollars in episode and all you know all they did get paid party but get paid to party, bang broads and or whatever one of the kids wanted to go home because

you had anxiety and and I was like what the fuck out of your anxiety you're a break you couldn't have an easier life what are you so anxious about I mean you know you just act like a jackass get drunk bang a chick and cash these checks what's the big deal and sure enough man within six months I kind of started a little bout with it and it's an everyday bout uh some days are worse than others luckily the big ones are far and few in between but uh the little ones can catch up to you here and there and I you know whatever I what it was I think was just a wake up call and you know life can be stressful and sometimes you got to pick and choose what to really worry about and so I'm starting I'm kind of to worry about some of the small stuff anymore you know and just kind of do

my thing and get help walk me through your last uh anxiety attack and how it went down the last one yeah you scared the fuck out of me you scared the fuck out of me when you and you know by the sound of my voice when I told you that I was like Jesus Christ what the fuck so break down the last one to me all right so the two big ones I had was January 2012 and then January 2013 so I already know that for whatever reason sometime around the holidays I expect to do the funky chicken you know and worry about it and so after you know forecasting ahead it was late December of this past year 2013 and I was just you know trying to stay on top of things I did my Christmas shopping early things like that everything's good I come back from visiting the uh the parents everything's

quick and jolly Lee I'm really really feeling like all right cool I'm you know a lot of things are under control and I went to the press conference for USC 168 and I'm over at the MGM and I ran into Eric Paulson who coaches Josh Barnett and he was on that card and Eric had sores your buddy my buddy I know him and I'm talking to both of them I booked no gear for the show in in studio so I'm happy as a clam everything's going great now they say now Dina White says okay we're going to stop this press conference and we're going to do the pose down so you know obviously I I walk up there I was kind of sitting more with the fans so I break out my key and I just want to see Misha and Rhonda and Josh and Travis and Anderson and Whiteman just kind

of pose off so I go up there to maybe get a little Instagram video going on and then all of a sudden some friendly guy says hey man it's just United Fan huh because I was wearing my jersey I go yeah how about you he says Everton and I clearly remember this and then all of a sudden my knees just kind of weakened and my heart starts racing a little and that's kind of like what happens I guess sometimes when I get a little nervous or anxious but he was pleasant he wasn't confrontational everybody was cool this is the part that pisses me off the most is it just came out of nowhere and then all of a sudden my my chest gets a little tight and I go oh no I go and I pull the guy excuse me for a second you know and I kind of walk away but in my mind I'm going to walk off fuck

so I walk towards the back of the room and I see Ed Soros there and I say Ed I go can I speak to you for a second he goes sure I go man I don't feel good can you just keep an eye on me and he says yeah so I as he's doing that I look for some water and then I reach for those little Xanax pills that I have now mind you they gave me 30 of those in 2012 when when uh you know and I had the anxiety thing and they said take this if you ever feel that way and over two years I've only taken about 25 of them in like little half-bit pieces because I just don't want to get addicted to that shit so I don't like taking it but I was trying to calm myself down I wasn't calming down I think what happened is when you're around a lot of people it starts

to get worse because you start to think oh my god I'm going to go and I'm going to go here in front of a bunch of people you know and so I bit a little piece I calmed down I still wouldn't calm down I went to MGM security I said hey I'm not feeling good and the paramedics and and what was what did what did the doctor say when you got there and what was the his his treatment by the time I got to the ER the uh I had already calmed down and I realized like always I'm not gonna have a heart attack I've already had all the tests and that was the one thing that was better than the previous visits was that I kind of I kind of knew I already wasn't going to have a heart attack it's just I couldn't

stop shaking and my heart couldn't stop bleeding fast so you know that's why I went but by the time he got there I knew what it was and I knew I had to follow up with my doctor coming up anyway and they wanted to order a bunch of blood tests and things and I just didn't want to do all that and I didn't want to pay for all that so I told me thank you sorry to bother you guys I'm just gonna walk out of here so I had to sign a bunch of you know a few papers and then I walked out of there and every day since then I've been pretty good actually how you've been feeling the last three weeks pretty good I can't complain and and like I said I um I feel better that that you know this was my one annual you know bout or whatever I guess I'll take it because I kind of conquered it I

tried to deal with it I really tried my best not to go to the ER you know and like I said a lot of this is mental but since then I tightened up the diet even more I'm exercising you know a ton and you know just trying to stay on top of the job you know the last uh before like October I was getting really bad anxiety I got an anxiety attack sitting across from Lee at the desk one day we didn't know I had to take my fucking earphones off but it got to that point for a couple months from last from last March to about October I was going through hell and I and I said you know what I'm gonna go to Jiu Jitsu and I started going to Jiu Jitsu when I would do hip escapes my breathing would go to a different level I'd have to get up and take my gear off and my belt and anything tight

on my body and I it was just horrible I mean it was fucking horrible George I didn't know what to do and I finally told the doctor and he goes go to a hypnotherapist and that helped a little bit you know but it wasn't it was just George my mind would just take off it would just fucking race I mean it goes from point A to point B I last night I was in bed thinking about this girl that I grew up with and next thing you know I was thinking horrible fucking thoughts and I had to catch myself you know and uh it was the breathing was bothering me George because you know how when your heart starts to race and once I get that shortness of breath George that's it it takes off once I realize I think I'm gonna get a heart attack it takes off so she

told me to think about the island of serenity you know that what's at the island of serenity nothing back it happened to you you know I wrote down my perfect uh you know my perfect scenario what would it be you know uh you know for it for me not to feel that way and it was the breathing George once the breathing took over me George I was off and running that was it and it started hitting me on planes and I started blaming it on the edibles you know the edibles had something to do with it the medical marijuana edibles it just makes your thoughts too real sometimes so I lightened up on those for a while in fact the last like uh since the I think uh the week before Christmas maybe the week before that I've cut down like

80% on those things I don't need them at all I read that I was popping forward with the daytime I would start here with Lee at six in the morning I stopped with those things but you know what else what really helped me George the working out the walking even the fucking walking once you start getting that breath you know what grab your keys and get out of the fucking house and go for a fucking walk because for me it's too many thoughts in my mind at one time and at my age I can't all delete and whatever anymore right what don't you do that to the computer you shut it down or whatever control all delete control out delete you know and that's all it is sometimes it's we have I think we just have 80 000 thoughts coming at one time and our head explodes and we start

breathing and then once the breathing takes over our mind all that's all our mind needs to play a trick on us so it was exactly and it might have happened as well while doing the radio show before and I'll look at my brother and kind of give him a signal like I gotta step outside for a second you know and it's a live show just like you guys so I try and hang in there but they're having a couple times where I were not just like I say in two years maybe two three times where I just tell me I'm gonna catch some fresh air nobody on the show knows it and I just you know bounce for a second catch my breath get some water and then whatever but that's just it I think we're letting ourselves let too much of our work our thoughts personal life or whatever just pile on and then

doing so it just I guess it becomes too much you know and the nervous system can't handle it so what we have to do is prevent it and you know just I guess juggle your life a little bit better or shut some things down and you know like what you know which one's one Joey that I think I've identified is rest if I'm not right before I used to rest like four hours or five hours or something like that kind of like not necessarily party or anything but just you know between getting ready for work the night before or whatever or maybe going out a little bit but not necessarily hitting the bottle but it's the next day I just don't feel rested you feel a little bit weak I think that's when you're the most susceptible and I'll tell you what else helped me and I don't

know why I'm I thought of this while I was talking to you I started doing kettlebells I joined an organized class you know I wasn't getting something at the YMCA I was going on the why I was hitting the back for 30 minutes I would get on the epileptical for 30 minutes I get the fuck out of there you know and that's great at least I went down there and moved my blood around but when I started going to kettlebells it was under somebody else's whistle do you know what I mean and what I liked about this guy is that he's CPR he told me he was a fireman for a long time and he told me he brought people back to life like three times so I said you know what if I go to this guy I could go all out and I could really breathe and I tell you I've paid five times already and it's so weird that

this last third Wednesday I went and he has a little classroom it's a little gym it's a box he's got kettlebells and TRX and I started doing the kettlebells and when I do the kettlebells I have to do them close to the door George because when I would lose my breath I have to run outside and breathe I have to wear like a wristband on my left hand for the kettlebells because it hurts my wrist I do the cleans I even had to take that off do you know on Wednesday when I went he made me do 10 sets of 10 in 10 minutes which means you basically have a 45 second interval between each set and he made me do five sets of five deadlifts and I didn't walk out of the room one time because he's pushed me so much George and the breathing that I know nothing and this

time George I ain't gonna lie to you I'm breathing so heavy that I'm thinking to myself today is the day like I take asthma before I go today is the day but I know that he's there and I know that if I pass out he'll give me mouth to mouth or stick a finger in my belly button whatever the fuck they do squeeze your data so maybe that helped also that he's pushed me a little more and now the anxiety has gone down that's awesome because when we work out George I tell you what else gives me anxiety when I have to sit in the inside seat on a plane and when I have to pee when I have to pee George my anxiety goes why do you fucking think I don't sit in my seat at the UFC because I would pee my toes because momos are always tapping you on the shoulder saying

did you see that and then when you turn over over to your shoulder the answer you really missed the fight well that's one of the things but the most important thing was that I was sitting on the ground and I would have to go up those stairs with pee in my pants and by the time I got up to the top level I would pee my fucking pants from holding my breath so I stopped going down to the floor seats because peeing to me it gives me so and it's fucking constant I'll leave leaves right now well there's a bathroom getting my car start the car and I gotta pee and I gotta drive fucking 10 minutes to get home and I'm ready to fucking jump out of the car and pee in the sidewalk I do it all the time now I'm at an age where I ain't got time I ain't gonna wait for a bathroom I just

take my dick out and make believe I'm checking something in the trunk and I just pee fucking wow so I pissed at the airport yes I don't give a fuck no more it's always it's fucking killing me the pee situation before I go on stage I mean I could be sitting in a fucking green room George 20 minutes waiting to go on stage and as the other guy walks up to bring me up a pound of piss jumps into my fucking bladder and now I can't pee so I gotta go on stage with a pee in my fucking ball sack for 45 to an hour and as I'm walking up on stage I have so much fucking anxiety until I open my big fat mouth and then it all jumps out and that's it brother maybe you should incorporate it in your act and show everybody how you can just pee on command you know people burp on command and do things on

command and that way you know it's a fallback in case you really have to do it just piss your pants for a long time I wore two long shirts on stage and people go Joey you gotta change your wardrobe no they were long shirts and they were covered the front of my dick so if I peed before I went on stage you wouldn't see the dot on my pants they're tricks everybody does tricks because I'd always go on stage with a pee dot on my pants or it felt like a pee dot was on my pants from the leakage you know you don't want to wear a diaper at 45 what else is going on in the world of UFC that we could discuss real quick here what else has been going on what upcoming events whatever you heard but you know we mentioned Anderson Silva earlier and he uh you know he broke his leg his uh

fibia and fibia bones in half uh it's down there by the shin and uh so you know people were saying will he ever come back if he does will he be the same things like that but I'll tell you what I knew it the guy's competitive as he is not would not want to go out not only with a a break like that but also with a loss and he actually recently did an interview and I don't agree with him but he's saying you know Chris Weidman shouldn't uh shouldn't feel like he won because an accident was happening and and I said he felt like the fight was going to be his had he had gone a distance but it's a little too late for that one because you know they had two full rounds in fights one and two and Weidman won both of those and Weidman got two finishes regardless of how you look at it

whether one was a fluke and one he was goofing they were wins you know so what I'm just happy about is that a great guy like him does want to fight again because I think he's still fighting on a high level I just don't know if it'll be at the level where he can get his title back because you'll have to fight someone else and you know maybe one or two fights before you to shot at Weidman again it's not an easy it's not a um just the most difficult fell in the world to watch that fight for the third time that usually you don't say that but they're doing it with Frankie Edgar and BJ 10 they were willing to deal with Tito Ortiz and Chuck LaBelle they did it with Tito Ortiz and and Shamrock so it's probably they've shied away from it but I I think we'll see Anderson

still fighting them listen you know I'm a big fan of his I'm a big fan of Ed and I'm a big fan of the sport so I know how much the sport's going to miss Anderson Silva uh he's got all the odds against him but like again he's the fucking savage of life I just hope he makes the right decision whatever decision he makes you know sometimes we let emotions overtake our mind and we make a mistake he's got money I'm not gonna write him off as not being the best of all time because of what happened everything comes to an end they even got the Bruce Lee you know they even got them they gave him a poison cookie whatever the fuck they gave him so uh at time times I don't want uh and I hate to say this I hate to say this because I was a bigger fan of his I don't want to see a

Chuck LaBelle situation I don't want to see a guy risking his future to prove something you know once you get knocked out once or twice you're susceptible bro we've all seen it you're susceptible you know Steve Young Johnny Concussion you know you're susceptible why you have nothing to prove to me same thing with you Steve Young I bought them 49ers oh shit look at you talking to dog you're talking in the wrong room you're talking in front of my fucking friend Lisa Iat when the England's coming off a fucking smashed bamboo and I sat in that room after they scored that one touchdown I was sitting with Josh Potter and Buffalo and I go look at Andrew Luck they shook him up right now he goes a matter of fact they're gonna intercept next pass they fucking

intercepted the third quarter he goes how'd you know I go listen bro New England is playing with a team that Tom Brady has carried this team they got nobody they're in her they're in prison they're killing motherfuckers up there I mean he's up there by himself Tom Brady is listen I grew up in the era of quarterbacks and so did you George we grew up with you know uh Montana was you know Marino and fucking machine gun Kelly you know they I don't know how many NFL teams are there George 32 32 are the 32 NFL teams let's be honest how many real quarterbacks do you have in the league now five 10 maybe maybe less than 10 maybe true pure quarterbacks this fucking Brady is a throwback but then you got that fucking savage up in Denver who I knew they weren't going to cover the spread

yesterday they were giving eight points that was a fucking on the Lord's Day in Denver you got to give 30 points they won by seven and San Diego whatever so it's San Diego it's Denver New England next week in Denver yeah in San Francisco Seattle that's it that's the NFC and the AFC Championship wow what do you think about Kaepernick Kaepernick's pretty cool yeah Kaepernick I'm glad you brought him up because I've been taking a lot of shit from from a lot of our listeners because first game of the season he could be for like 400 yards on Green Bay and I was coming off the uh you know them going to the Super Bowl and so I made a proclamation I said hey guys I go I'm telling you one thing this kid's special I wouldn't trade in for anybody and of course I've taken a lot of

shit uh and a lot of heat for that comment and I stuck by it though you know and he had he you know his performance went down during the year obviously the Niners went into a little skid he started out like six and four and then it peeled off six straight to end 12 and four but you know Kaepernick's not gonna throw he's not gonna have 70% completion and four TDs and 400 yards every game he's gonna rarely do that but what the guy can do is run and present that threat and in the playoffs you know he showed it against Green Bay yesterday he passed a little bit more and ran a little bit less but still he's just making he's making third downs you know and a lot of the better quarterbacks that that did do that like Baron Rodgers aren't doing it you know and

in camera Cam Newton had his chance to stay as well towards the end of the game through through an interception and I'm telling you man and we've been doing it on the road so going back to what I said though obviously there's a few guys that are very valuable and you'd very seriously consider trading you know a guy like Kaepernick for if you can get two three pieces out of them uh and maybe a couple Super Bowls because the Niners have a Super Bowl caliber team right now and I would agree that Tom Brady and Peyton Manning would probably be two of those guys but those guys are like 37 years old you know and Kaepernick's only 26 so I still got another 10 years to go with that guy and that's how you know when you're a general manager in the NFL not that I'm one of them but

I know how they think you think about the future so do you know do you more than draw that or just a year or two or three and you know some would say no and that's why I stick by my comment and now Kaepernick's getting ready to shove it up all those listeners and all those naysayers out we're gonna go up to Seattle handle handle them and then we're gonna oh shit looking George dropping some fucking knowledge on the Seahawk fans up there do you think like I don't think I Kaepernick's great but like you won't see like a Brady and Manning because running he won't last till he's 37 he'll have a great five or six years but he I don't think he can have the career that Brady or Manning had because they they stay in the pocket and they try not to get hit too much

when you're running like that it's like rg3 rg3 had one year and maybe he'll come back next year but the running quarterback's like I'm glad I don't have a running quarterback because at most I think you maybe get five years out of him yeah that's a good point but here's the thing he's he's very smart and he's got a powerful arm oh he got his arm is crazy a little bit more to have a little more poise back there in the pocket and he uh he needs to get more accurate and that's going to come with time you know uh you saw Cam Newton he um in years two he had he had some struggles that was last year and then this year he became a little bit more poise he threw a beautiful touchdown pass yesterday but if you'll notice Kaepernick's very smart about when to go down he's also a

big boy so a lot of those cornerbacks that usually take out the guys that are like six feet six one like you know like rg3 or or breeze or just you know even Russell Wilson some of those hits can take effect I mean Kaepernick's like six five two thirty you know he can lay you out too but he's pretty smart he knows when to get down he knows when to get out of bounds but I um I don't think we're gonna have those kind of problems you know it's funny how I really enjoyed the running quarterback for a few years I liked the aspect it started with Randall Cunningham for me you know I grew up with Lawrence Taylor and the giants and Randall Cunningham really added a different dimension to it but Lee is correct it just it's too much you need when you have a running quarterback you

really need a number two that's deadly because I don't what happened to Michael Vick is he still around this year or he got overtaken in Philly he got hurt too much and and the guy who backed him up in Philly was was better than him so so he's not he's not starting anymore he might he says he says he wants to next year but I don't know anyone any good team it's just uh you know I'm talking about uh we grew up on pure quarterbacks guys you know it's beautiful when you watch Denver if you watch Denver all they do is simple they have a phenomenal quarterback but they put eight white walls around do you see those steak eaters they got around him do you see that and that started with a man by the name of John Alway they realized that to really let a quarterback go loose you

got to build a wall you got to put Pink Floyd Led Zeppelin and the Beatles in front of these motherfuckers they get fucking the biggest white dudes that all they know how to do is fucking eat doors look at Denver's offensive line there's I think one black guy oh yeah they're fucking white doors bro and then their longevity so me yeah I like to I like to run and call it back it's a bad motherfucker but they're gonna kill them they're gonna kill him eventually and those pure guys you know how old is Brady he has to be 35 look at this fucking dude up in Denver how old is he close to 40 and we were writing him off three years ago with the back injury so they knew they said for him to throw he's got and he needs five seconds he needs five seconds and he needs to

know not even a fucking pebbles he's not even gonna hit he's not even gonna get hit with saliva you understand me like he don't get hit with sweat nothing George that guy and when he does get hit you know you can see that everybody on that offensive line they take a hundred from it's all over you're getting deuce to hundred and no pork chop on fucking Friday night for dessert because that's what they eat for desserts up there pork chops like after the steaks and the fucking bro what's for dessert a fucking pork chop so it's just uh you know what I don't watch that much football but in my heart you know you gotta like time Brady that motherfucker dumped the chick when she was pregnant and started fucking the Brazilian chick that Brazilian chick is one of

the top five women God has ever put on this fucking planet if you look at her legs you could smell her pussy just by looking at her fucking knees and it smells like fucking pure Brazilian ocean you could see it she's a fucking amazing that bitch he goes out there every week and throws you know who controls Tom Brady pussy like he's a pussy motherfucker like they she rubs that fucking monkey on his face before he goes out there and she says you don't win you don't get this for a fucking month con sucker and there's a point in the game where he just goes crazy you ever see him he just goes crazy yeah when I went we got off stage it was 29 22 when I came back was 44 something I knew that we were going to score two more touchdowns because once they get to the interception Brady

just thrives on that shit yeah no it's crazy and Jordan not to bring it back to MMA but I read an article before the show started and I wanted to get your opinion on it the Khabib guy who in now Dana White saying that Nate Diaz turned the fight down because I could be fought like either if not the last card the card or two before it and he killed him so is what what are you hearing about that yeah he uh you know he's an awesome fighter man he's like five and oh since he joined the UFC like 21 and 21 and oh overall which is rare to go undefeated that long guys a beast um what they wanted to do is they wanted to match him up at USC 170 and deal with Melendez but apparently from what I'm hearing it just you know it wasn't going to be enough time to

prepare you know and Melendez is a thorough professional he um he's not the type of guy that really takes fights on like maybe six weeks notice or four weeks notice and during the holidays you never know man you never know what if you're up an extra five ten pounds that you're not used to it's hard to really do that thing you know and he wants that he wants a shot at the title you know Anthony Pettis over that title he'll be out for about another six seven months but I think what he wants to do is get and I'm talking about Gilbert here is get a key win and then he feels like the next shot is his because since he lost to Ben Henderson he had that great fight against Diego Sanchez out in Houston and then another win I think puts

him in that spot so he wants to be a little bit more calculated his teammate Nate Diaz same thing but Diaz boys they don't fall too far out of contention because it's so popular and you know he just came back and got that knockout win over Ray Maynard so that kind of erases everything that happened in the Thompson fight and you know I know making the weight is difficult for him too now a lot of times Dana White will kind of you know kind of put fighters on blast a little bit Nate Diaz is saying BS tweeted out BS to the USC and to Dana White that fight was never offered so I don't know where the truth lies you know there's their version his version and the truth well we know I never I don't really understand how that works have it like

because so they offer fights and you can turn them down like how do like because that's it's different than like in major sports they just give you your schedule and that's where you're going so so fighters can turn down fights it's like it's kind of a weird thing that's like not really talked about yeah some can't some can't some won't some don't um but the bigger fights the bigger names I think they have a little bit more flexibility and more than anything I think a lot of it just had to do with the timing because that USC 170 is on um it's February 22nd if I'm not mistaken the 21st in Las Vegas and when all this talk was going down it was already like late December early January so really six weeks away I think what I think the truth probably is Nate Diaz would fight him

he just wouldn't fight him in six weeks well your Mexican December is a motherfucker you know December is a motherfucker for a Mexican he ain't thinking about fighting he's thinking about fucking eating you know that and Lee just experienced his first Mexican Christmas he came back his face was red he was sweat and he couldn't believe it you know he's used to eating with Jews where they get a little piece of fish and everybody shakes hands and goes home these fucking Mexicans don't want to come home they keep you they just keep bringing out fucking enchiladas and soups and goats and pigeons so every Mexican gains 15 pounds over the fucking holidays so that's probably another fucking reason that I love Gilbert and I was surprised

at that fight also uh you have to turn down fights sometimes first time sometimes you have to say no to get their attention and sometimes you have to plan it out what does this fight do for me what's my next step you know we're all whores I'm a fucking whore I would do every movie and every weekend that's offered to me but some of them just aren't feasible and sometimes your management talks you out of it because we're savages we're fucking savages you know if I usually take eight weeks to prepare for a fight and you call me in four weeks what do you know I might have more to lose than you do okay what was the case with John Jones and Chao Son in that time okay okay it was the case they were offering him they knew what they were doing they knew the scam

would way before the guy had been hurt they knew it he was in camp he started tweeting out John Jones one day he woke up and called out John Jones and a week later what's his name is hurting John Jones is supposed to fight this fucking clown and uh you know everybody was mad at John Jones it's all forgotten now because he took him in then he beat him up but sometimes it's not feasible you have more to lose than I do you knock me out you take what I got I lose to you know let me go in there let me be fucking prepared okay you know so sometimes it's better you know I used to say yes to everything and I had nothing I stopped doing those hundred dollar day movies and I got grudge match I watched it yesterday Joey I went yesterday to the movie sorry I'm a few weeks late

but I caught it yesterday uh because the Niners win over Carolina I hung out for a little bit watch the second game and uh then I went to the movies and check the check that grudge match it was a great movie it's hysterical it wasn't a great movie but it was entertaining and you had a good time and your uncle Joey was it and chair was in there would be visited so you kind of relate it and uh but the funny thing is it's true it's very true you don't know right now I have a situation with somebody who offered me and Lee work and it's not great money it's a lot of work so it's a job but then again what do we get out of it what that we got done and I got to work more and then no so sometimes things are feasible and sometimes they're not 10 years ago we would have been there

and then some we would have booked the whole week in Texas or the whole week but sometimes a job isn't just what it seems to a fan or to somebody who doesn't know you're fuck you man you cancel Chicago no I got a movie which pays me this and this is what I'm gonna get from this movie I can go to Chicago anytime I could fight fucking uh uh chocolate del anytime you know what I'm saying it's just this move doesn't work so that's what the fans have to understand sometimes you know yeah I think the match up with Wormadomodov that's his last one that's his last one I think that one with Diaz or Melendez will happen it just couldn't happen it was too soon this time and their camp you know they probably weren't as excited about it because that guy

although like I said he's got credentials he just hasn't built up that name to that level of what those other two are at and I think that's what they want what about Rory McDonald has he fought recently I haven't seen his name on fight on a fight card now he lost recently correct his last fight he lost he lost to Robbie Lawler on the same card that GSP defeated Johnny Hendrix okay because he was like Jesus for a while close fight but but yeah he lost and now his stock went down just a little bit you know he uh he was probably in a position to maybe even challenge for the title although things would have got sticky because GSP and Rory are our teammates they said they wouldn't fight each other Dana says they would who knows but he lost GSP took the hiatus so now

we'll never know and now he's got to take another fight and I think he's fighting Damian Maia here in Las Vegas at USC 170 that's a great comeback fight for him and Maia Maia lost the shield recently so both guys were prime candidates to be fighting for the world title and now now they're out of the picture for a bit now what's conduit Norris what's he waiting on I mean him and Matt Brown's Carlos Condit you know I call him conduit whatever it is what's that tiger doing down in New Mexico yeah he's gonna be fighting at USC 171 against Tyrone Woodby oh shit that's in Dallas Texas that's in Dallas that's a great card I know Joe's doing a comedy show down there I'm booked that weekend and I can't get out of your hotel weekend on the picture website and I keep thinking

maybe these videos they'll be coming down with Rogan but I noticed that you're you're on the road all the time now you know man I like I was telling Lee I only get one shot at this and the road has become something different for me now you know so I try to go out there two times a month I'm gonna try to hit every place I can this year that I haven't been to just to say hello and the rest is like you know if I could do something with Joe I'll do it as long as we know we have great notice I didn't know about Chicago I would have been there with him I didn't know about there was another card I didn't know about that I would be there the quickest card I'm gonna be at is in Baltimore with Joe at the UFC John Jones and I'm gonna find out about Orlando I think they're thinking of doing

a show in Orlando so how can you keep telling me I didn't know about Chicago I didn't know about that as Roy McDonald bought do you realize there's a website called MMA junkie.com and then we can feed you all that information so you'll be up to date with what's happening we have every fight card we cover every organization we talk to all the fighters we have a daily podcast there's no really you should be telling me that you know what brother you don't you know in your heart I go to MMA junkie as much as I can I got so many fucking things on my plate now George and the family really added a lot to it you know and I work from my house every time I go home I gotta make contact with the baby and that slows me down a little bit I am keeping tabs but I'm keeping tabs on a loose way

I'm like that ex-girlfriend that used to fucking break into your house and suck your dick now I'm just keeping you I know you're there and I listen to you from time to time I'm just not there with you all the time I love you George thank you very much for calling and I think I'll see you in Vegas for the final of the 22nd I'll be there that's awesome man hey guys thanks for the opportunity to be on your very popular podcast I enjoyed it thoroughly and anytime you guys need me man I'm here for you I love you guys I love MMA junkie and give my best to the staff and you know I love you guys thank you for calling and dropping some knowledge on it all right Joe me there you go let me tell you something else that's going on on it is doing a sweepstakes and the winner gets to

go to Johnny Hendrix in Dallas oh USC 171 go to on it dot com sweepstakes and then tell y'all you should be on it any fucking time I just got my new shake this uh yesterday when I got back I hope I had a chocolate shake this morning best taste and fucking shake out there to have forced chocolate they're not fucking around they got the acai vanilla which is also delicious I'm a chocolate type of motherfucker you know again I can't stress new mood I can't stress alpha brain to you I'm back on the cycle for alpha brain and I can feel my fucking cylinders ticking go to on it dot com press in church into the thing get 20% off sign up for the fucking monthly package get 20 plus the 10 you know what I went to uh just one day the other day I went to get these uh kettlebell things

my things like check the prices of kettlebells at five what is it five star sport over here in burbank over there they're more expensive than the ones from on it and on it ships to to you I'm not talking about the kettlebells if you're just looking for kettlebells just regular kettlebells they're cheaper I'm fucking on it and they're shipping to you for free or something go to on it check the fucking prices and you know what the rope is great all that stuff is great but it all starts with the alpha brain it all starts with the turnaround 160 the hem force protein bars give it a fucking shot Columbus did go to on it dot com to the sweepstakes enter right now for fucking Johnny Hendrix against my fucking man at UFC 171 also as usual dollar shave club what

can I fucking say about you look at this I took your fucking razors to Buffalo this weekend tremendous the fucking little cord on there with the with the what's that thing the strip with the fucking thing oh yeah me fucking moisturize I can't say enough of yours I only got you on Mondays I can't stress this shit guys dollar shave club is the only fucking way to go for a dollar six dollars or nine dollars a month go to go to joeydeas.net go to the box in that dollar shave club press and what church church ch u r c h shave your asshole shave your face shave everything go to the fucking dollar shave club net page go to dollar shave club dot com order the fucking wipes for your asshole they smell like mint year round why wait for Christmas you know what I'm

saying why wait for Christmas for asshole to smell like fucking peppermint when your asshole could smell like mint fucking year round cocksuckers also hulu plus what the fuck what the fuck you're sitting there watching golden glows paying 200 a month whatever the fuck you're doing that's not what you need to do what you need to do is go to hulu plus dot com get two weeks for free not one not three two and then after that it's 799 a month who's gonna give you that type of fucking action go to joeydeas.net go to hulu plus box and press joey bam you get two weeks for free you get the fucking shave you get fucking pills who's better than you you get battle ropes you can hit people with kettlebells in the fucking head not to mention this month only we got nature's box tremendous i

just broke into the acai fucking oatmeal i had the the granola yeah tremendous there's a little fucking snack they're healthy snacks bro you smoke dope you get fucking hungry correct yes or no you what are you gonna do you can't eat a banana every fucking day you can't eat a fucking pizza from little seizes so what do you do you go on the thing you open up a big fucking bag of cocoa almonds those almonds have angsty doxins in it these are all done by fucking nutritionists get your shit together cocksucker go to nature go to joeydeas.net go to the nature's box what do you press in joey boom joey and you get 50 off now it's a subscription service so let them know if you don't want to fucking get on there for more than three months you just want to taste the shit

50% off go the chocolate almonds the pumpkin fucking seeds the sea salt i mean this shit tastes delicious and you get a big bag with a seal you put it right next to the chair you put a joint in it so you hit the joint put it in that seal so the cat can't take it who's better than fucking you here we're giving you this shit people 50% off go to joeydeas.net go to nature's box what are you pressing the box joey are you fucking kidding me or what i'm never kidding that's all i got for you motherfuckers it was a great podcast today i gotta give some shout outs Amanda Palmer i love you thank you for the presents from my daughter she gave one of those fucking team umizumi way to go the dog when you press it it says two four six say you know whatever

let's do the crazy shake shake your hands to the sky you're gonna be so sad like team umizumi to the floor oh i love all that shit so thank you very much Amanda Palmer coming out and buffing on support jason loush josh rivera you bad Puerto rican i'm gonna give a shout out to rose bud wellness up there in portland oregon slinging the best reefer in the fucking state if there's good reefer in oregon they got it they got edibles they got ante delores go up there and check them the fuck out mike stanley brock caro nicolas gullender congratulations you know i love you and melanie hicks putting together a fucking book she's gonna send me a fucking copy and that's it you know i'm saying what else is there gonna talk about leave it's the ooh i don't know if

people know it divine wellness without a business what yeah they had a move because there were two five hundred eighty feet from a church but another week store moved in and i haven't been able to go in there but lately i haven't been eating edibles and i've been going back to know how organic i'm burbank boulevard and i gotta tell you some this ain't a fucking uh they don't sponsor me they don't do shit i'm just telling you motherfucking i like smoking heavy duty dope the satellite they got will fucking kill you the fucking girl scout cookie they got right now will fucking kill you i took an eight to fucking buffalo that satellite i was smoking outside in the wintertime even the shingles were fucking melting around me that weed is so fucking strong if you're in the area stop by fucking

if you like weed bro if you want to see the devil and you're sick of seeing jesus with a big dick in the capon go to fucking divine wellness go to know how organic ask for the satellite you ain't gonna be sorry like dry shit bring it home dry it and fucking smoke in the fucking pipe and get back to me motherfucker you will see the fucking devil you understand me i love it what's going on with you lea what's on what's on tap of the weekend flying g-radio today at 12 30 for those of you watching right now on your stream uh we have a cool gas coming in we have some calls and then just tomorrow i'm gonna be calling in and uh oxygen some stuff off on the young nasty podcast what time you call in i'm not sure yet so i'm gonna call in and find out what time i'm calling

oh you're gonna call in too okay absolutely i think mike maxwell's gonna hook me up okay but maxwell is on wednesday morning from 10 to 1 okay um but i'm gonna call in i think at the beginning and start the auction i'm auctioning off either call in to flying g-radio or i'll help you start your own podcast over the phone i'll give you like an hour um we'll auction that off and it's all going to get nasty what about your underwear if p if someone wants my underwear i think i'll all find your underwear after you've been in a more fucking day nice little seal with a picture you wacking off anything anything to get the anything to get young nasty in the house if you want my underwear i'll get i'll give what's your nasty up to i think over 5000 i think really okay

yeah yeah yeah we gave from the church so uh we're gonna give again before the week so i was gonna give a little portion from the cd's well number nine with the cd was still alive yep i don't want you to think you know and you know the reviews are horrible like i'm getting reviewed and then he called me and said that it's it's uh people that just reviewed it didn't even listen to oh yeah no do you see that part on twitter there's two right next to oh that guy needs to get his mouth washed out with soap uh the people like this is what's wrong with our country but the cd is fucking good because i listened to it the other day and i was laughing i forgot i had said those things so we get the fucking cd i love it this weekend i'm at uh at uh the melrose improv friday

and saturday eight o'clock show diagostino arish afir steve samon and george pares i think yeah i'm gonna have a hitters lineup oh yes the following week i'm at the house of comedy at fucking minneapolis i think it's a 24 to the 26 check their page out and also i want to make a special announcement 10th planet you ready for this from 10th planet jujitsu if you're a death squad member certified death squad member with verifiable references they'll give you a month of jujitsu for free really first month is for free first month is for free eddie get your name down there tell me you're part of death squad first month is free they're gonna announce it you're hearing it here first because eddie wants uh you people to get involved that's it the fucking party's over for a

while and you cocksuck you're coming to jujitsu this week okay because we might sponsor kyle okay kyle's going to the gracey nationals so he only paid for the gi part i think for another 90 bucks we'll give him he'll do the no gi but i want you to give it to him so i don't want you to think it's from me just go you know what joey told me about it i think he'd get a big because he always asked me about he's 23 just like you bigger than the fucking house uh zack zack kyle is the all the other purple belt but zack is doing the uh the gracey nationals it's the week i'm in fucking uh i'm in minneapolis i'm gonna try to come back sunday and shoot down there it's doubtful though because it's in the long beach by the time i get in from minneapolis but i think

we're gonna sponsor him in the gracey nationals uh great we had enough money for one of the things i got some audit products for him and uh that's it people you know it's gonna be a great fucking week this is the first official week without the fucking holidays if you still got lights up and you're still gonna listen to jingle carols get your fucking shit together kind of like that it's over it's time to go to fucking work and make money so next year you can jump up and down eat chocolate cookies and support the fucking girls god south america whatever the fuck you want to do and beside that you know we love you go to fucking itunes download the fucking podcast maybe you've been away nobody went up there and told you download your candy pussy with

fucking asthma we're also on payload loads the documentaries on payloads we got a ton of shit for you the shirts are coming we have mike max will design some great shirts we're gonna have the jesus walking away from the church yeah and it was on fire and he's walking away with a machine gun with new chucks around his neck but he made another design it's in white and blue we're gonna do it short sleeve white and blue and uh long sleeve white and blue so those shirts are coming we got the hoodies coming please just bear with me we're getting our shit together uh Lee's putting together a podcast network we're talking to josh wolf we're talking to rick rain was about a movie podcast so we're gonna have it all for you it's gonna be

one stop shopping we're gonna be slinging dick the church of what's happening now we love your cocksuckers what do you got for music though uh i got uh some great music oh no i don't you didn't tell me how about a little hypnotized from biggie just to get the party started so they hadn't even played music because the computer fucking i couldn't get reception water box i see you cleo i see you first month attempt plan is free tell them water box we gotta get water box we're calling to the podcast that's a bad motherfucker uh the more i get to talk to water box the more i love that motherfucker just and this is why i love going on the road because i get to meet you people daymark get it together you're having cocksuckers up there and fucking

i love you cocksuckers i love all these what do you got me dropping on them all right now that the show is over don't forget to sign up for your uh free trial of hulu plus free hulu plus let's use binge on thousands of hit shows anytime anywhere on your tv pc smartphone or tablet support this podcast and get an extended free trial of hulu plus when you go to hulu plus dot com slash joey or go to joeyds.net and click on the hulu plus banner and don't forget to sign up for dollar shave club dot com you get high quality razors into your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail now go to dollar shave club dot com slash church that's dollar shave club dot com slash church or just go to joeyds.net and click on the dollar shave club banner

and now that the show is over remember to go to nature box dot com in order a great tasting healthy snacks at 50 off 50 snacks and water in the new year with healthy and delicious treats like french toast granola uh support this podcast and get 50 off of your first order when you go to joeyds.net or go to naturebox.com and use promo code joey that's promo code joey there you go have a great day oh oh what what what what in brooklyn dead right is the head right biggie there and like papa been smooth since days are under loose never lose never choose two

bruise crews who do something to us talk go blue us girls want to do us screw us screw us yeah papa and pop close like stars he and hutch stick to clutch yeah i squeeze three at your cherry m3 bang every mc easily take that recently niggas front and ain't saying nothing so i just speak my peace come on my peace humans with the jesus peace with my peace pack it ask if you want it you gotta make a flaunting that brooklyn bullshit we on it biggie biggie biggie can't you see sometimes your words is hypnotizing and i just love your flashy way to guess us why they're broken your sofa biggie biggie biggie can't you see sometimes your words is hypnotizing and i just love your flashy way to guess us why they're broken your sofa

i put hosier ny on the dk ny miami dc prefer vasachi all finny hoes know is mosquino every cutie with the booty boy the koojie the real duke meaning who's really the shit the niggas ride this frank white pussy sick called the lexus lx four and a half pull the bruise glass tense if i want some ass gone blast squeeze first ask questions like that's how most of these so-called gangsters pass that laugh i'm into rapping bout blunts and bras tits and bras menage twars sex and expensive cars i still leave you on the plane condo pay for no car payment act my arraignment note for the premium your daughter's tied up in the brooklyn basement face it not guilty that's how i stay richer than rich so you think it's coming

here come on biggie biggie biggie can't you see sometimes your words is hypnotizing and i just love your flashy way to guess us why they're broken your sofa can't you see sometimes your words is hypnotizing and i just love your flashy way to guess us why they're broken your sofa i can feel you with real millionaires That's Cargo, my Cargo, new under 60s, Swiftly Wreck it by a new one, the crew run, run, run, the crew run, run I know you sick of this name brand, nigga with flow girls Say he sweet like nigga with some kit with this, nigga, it's easy

Girlfriend, here's a pic, call me rap 10 Come through, have sex on raps that's Persian Come up to your job, hit you while you're working For certain, pop a freak in, not speakin' Be the ass leaking like rapper Demo Tell em move, take the clothes off, slow me Steal em with the force, fly through me Big black like grooming, watch me broom like grooming

Lucky they don't owe me, with a safe, show me Homie, homie Biggie, biggie, biggie, can't you see Sometimes your words just hypnotize me And I just love your flashy ways up Guess that's why they're broken, you're so thin Biggie, biggie, biggie, can't you see Sometimes your words just hypnotize me

And I just love your flashy ways up Guess that's why they're broken, you're so thin Biggie, biggie, biggie, can't you see Sometimes your words just hypnotize me And I just love your flashy ways up Guess that's why they're broken, you're so thin Biggie, biggie, biggie, can't you see Sometimes your words just hypnotize me

And I just love your flashy ways up Guess that's why they're broken, you're so thin Biggie, biggie, biggie, can't you see Sometimes your words just hypnotize me And I just love your flashy way