Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #144 - The Church Of What's Happening Now

Episode Date: January 22, 2014

Joey's Kettle Bell Instructor Mr. David O'Donnell calls in. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Recorded live on 01/22/2014.

This show is sponsored by Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime anywhere on your tv, pc, smartphone or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to huluplus.com slash joey that's huluplus.com slash joey oh shit you bad mother fuckers you oh shit that's all i got to fucking say today wednesday january 22nd it's all about you fuck it here you go oh are you fucking kidding me or what break out the fucking syringe in the piece of it's going fucking down bitch are you fucking can listen to this motherfucker jumping up and down what

back what what what now you're fucking doing like a social dancing shit you're jumping up and down it's coming baby wednesday january 22nd and it's all about fucking you and the flying jew what's up though yeah i love that it's all about you and i love it that's what's going on baby you don't call you don't write well you know i'm i'm busy now you're gonna contact my agent my agent will contact you oh shit nobody calls nobody writes they still be in count 20s all day talking about movies on the boom but no i wish that'd be awesome it's a beautiful fucking day to be alive it's a great day to be alive no i feel i feel great it's been it's this is the happiest

thing to wake up at five in the morning for you know it's uh you look at it on paper you're like what the fuck do you guys do guys man it's uh sometimes it's good to wake up and it's blackout yeah and you just see that you go on your balcony and you hear the city for what it is and you hear your thoughts and it's the only time you might be alone the fucking day but it's those three minutes will change you you know uh just waking up sometimes early in the morning and seeing what's and it sucks you feel shitty about yourself tom sagura and me were going back and forth the other day i saw that he was like do you do this all the fucking time and it's like you know i understand the difference between like i'm really scared now about my early flights especially on saturday nights

because it's just a day of fucking blood pressure because when you don't get six hours of sleep your blood pressure rises okay sleeping is very essential for your fucking blood pressure so when you don't it rises you do a couple nights of fucking no six hours sleeps and i'll tell you what this flu that i had this thing that i'm still not a hundred percent about that i've spread throughout the fucking house now uh i think it was more of a germ but it was also my body what do you mean i keep forgetting i'm 50 yeah okay you know and uh last week i was doing the kettlebells really hard and i was opening up with dead lips and you know it was a little bit too much fucking weight i think and and just everything i was just generally saw my body needed to recuperate a germ zipped in

and it fucked me up this is what happens when you don't get out of here will rest and because i was eating good and i was sleeping uh working out and i was taking my vitamins all that shit was intact i think the sleep part of me i was getting up a little too early to beat the traffic and to write and shit and you know that one week i got up a train in the morning jump on a fucking plane oh and i gotta tell you that's not necessary that's not necessary you know sometimes i should just leave late the night before and at least i save if i get up today it kills two birds once done you know sleep is i was terrible at sleep especially when i was doing the other job and then this i i would i'd be up for 18 hours and maybe five so i know i feel your pain at any age

when you don't sleep you put on weight you know that you put on a lot of fucking weight you don't sleep uh what saved me all those years was to blow a fucking interesting a very interesting conversation listen this podcast is built on a couple things we come on me and we talk dirty and we fuck around and we smoke dope but everybody knows unless we talk about addictions uh uh fear you know that's when we strike a chord you know but the other day i struck a chord with that date thing yeah i got like 10 fucking emails as soon as i got home bam they were like jesus christ i actually stopped what i was doing and thought about what you said some kid hit me up that his life even changed from the age of 12 to 17 he was 17 he heard that he goes i broke it down to five

years and i really thought about and i really thought about i went home after i got the emails that night i didn't go out monday night and i was making notes and i wrote about 10 years 20 years my state just a feeling what i was feeling at the time and the 20 year one was the real crazy one because it wasn't desperation but it was want i just wanted to be economically in january of of 1994 there was nothing more in the world that i want to do is to be a comic i want to be a comic to prove a point okay i want to be a comic because i just i just couldn't wait to be funny i'd been doing comedy for three years and for the first two years it wasn't i wasn't professional i wasn't uh i wasn't uh i wasn't really into it i was fucking around with it as they say like i would get on

stage and i'd get on stage for two weeks and not writing but then something hit my head when i went into into new york for 94 in 93 i went to the clubs and i saw all the comics and i really seen what i wanted to do at any cost you know and i went back and i got this shitty fucking apartment in boulder which was the rocky apartment yeah and i would uh go out every night and do comedy i made a goal that was going out every night i got the paper from denver boulder and like fucking upper north uh like greeley area like there's a college up there okay and they have a lot of open mics and they were all 45 minutes an hour from me and i decided i was going to go out every night and every night whatever it would cost me i would shoplift in the daytime

so i made sure to go out at night and i'd walk in these rooms that weren't comedy rooms they weren't comedy rooms well they were fucking music rooms they were karaoke rooms and i remember like carry i was so fucking bad the karaoke house wouldn't even let me go up like that like no i'm done again and i have to sneak on stage and their assistant was around or but i made a goal to get on stage every night yeah and there were these guys this guy named jimmy abeta which is still a comedian and uh colorado who i owe a lot to and there was this kid named andy paiden who was an older gentleman and he paid an end up being a mayor of a small town in colorado but andy paiden taught me something in comedy that was the greatest thing he taught me the art of hustling

andy paiden was not the funniest guy in the world he was the original 420 comic you know he talked about reefer and what it did to him he was a hippie socialist people wouldn't book him because i'm gonna create my own fucking market so he went around and he booked three weeks he put together three weeks of rooms wow three weeks so monday night you'd be a van ice pool and fucking whatever tuesday night you'd be a joey's country wednesday you'd be at least jubah thursday i swear to god i fucking swear to god dawg he spread that shit out but you had three weeks of work okay what he would deal to the people then he put together a newspaper guys this is what i'm talking about this guy put together his own newspaper comedy newspaper he sold advertising in the newspaper

and he sold it to the bars where he did the comedy at wow you understand me people what i'm trying to tell you and this is 20 this is 20 fucking years ago this guy so he had this complete network going he had it going for years but he had no support from the comics the comics no comics wanted to do these rooms every comic wanted to do the comedy works and wits and the mckelvies nobody wanted to pay the price and do these shitty fucking rooms guess who ended up doing it me i still remember going up on sunday nights following a line dancing class you're so young you don't even remember why i'm dancing i know why dancing so so they had a class and then they said stick around for the comedy then stick around for the fucking comedy okay and it was all rednecks and i would go

up there and bomb so between his rooms the the fucking poetry readings and all that shit i got on fucking stage how long were you doing stand up before you were actually in an actual stand up comedy club because you started at like a steak restaurant no but the first time i got on stage at the county works and then okay so you do start there for some open mics but it seems like a lot of them aren't at comedy clubs no no no and then you just keep developing and developing and every once in a while you go back to the comedy club to center yourself to see what level you've gotten to okay it's like going to jiu-jitsu and going to competitions you know okay got it and then you come back to class or something and then i would go back to the comedy works and you

don't do a set but i still remember uh going out every night you know some night you came home with five bucks some night you came home with ten bucks and a joint some nights it was a fucking stretch but i would come home at night and there used to be a comedy newspaper from seattle that was done out of san francisco john fox put it together in the late eighties and early nineties comedy on the run i don't know what the fuck it was called just for last magazine and i used to in the back was a comedy club guide of all the comedy clubs in the country and i would circle which ones i was going to be good enough to play at someday but i would do this every fucking night we i would do that that 94 and i did blow and i went out and i wrote jokes and i had a day job

i delivered chinese food and i sold coke you deliver ten years i deliver chinese food at night and sold coke in the delivery car so if you called me i'd say all right i'm gonna i'm gonna deliver food order call the chinese restaurant and all the fried pork pork fried rice and i'll deliver the coke to the house wow it was it was just the sickest fucking year and a half of my life but it put me on path because everything else i had done up to that was bullshit 90 uh i went back in november of 93 and i changed i lived with a cousin of mine in navada and i got a job selling cars and that's how i went out at night to do comedy and then i finally stopped the cars and just kept everything in boulder and some by the grace of god i would

always have a car to go do comedy at night mike kesler who calls into the podcast worked with a car yeah uncle mike yeah so i would steal a car from the lot and drive that for two or three weeks for the demo i'm not kidding you my friends the deli zone they had a restaurant they had delivery car they would let me take it at night the fucking bumper was in the car like the bumper that's how bad of a car was but i still got to my comedy gigs and that's all that fucking matters as long as i had money for gas so this is kind of it's kind of i'm going through something similar i guess so you had you were you were selling cars but then you stopped did like uncle mike ever call you and say listen i have this great gig at this great dealership everybody called me

but my rent was 400 at the time okay i could make 400 stealing in one fucking day okay i could sell a gram of blow and put cut on it and sell your headache powders and sell you the mattress so for 400 a day it ain't worth having a fucking job for 400 a month yeah because i got that i got that call yesterday and i went i went to the interview and it was just stupid and if they if they call me for i wouldn't take it but it's just like and like they were i was like oh maybe i could do it and do both and make the money and then i have to worry about it but as i was sitting in the interview i was like this is the worst well right now you had a cross base right now you had a good going on yeah it's not like it's not like you're starting from scratch every month at zero

it's just guys so that that helps out but uh listen lee nothing's gonna happen until you put your balls in the line people will well i'm gonna have a band but my day job has benefits you gotta make up your mind bitch you really gotta make up your fucking mind in this life and and listen for some people i know i i've known people have given up their dream for a job with security because of family and hey that's fine too but i'm gonna tell you something somewhere along the line that's gonna backfire on you somewhere along the line in your heart and in your psyche you didn't go for what you were put on this planet to go for and that's gonna fuck with you and yeah you look at your children you look at your security you look at your insurance you look at your pension and you

could do things you could still work things i never thought i would ever be at this level in comedy which i'm nothing i'm just rocking and rolling but i always thought i would have a day job like today i just saw somebody running to the bus okay and i miss those days yeah i miss those days to really smoke it out to really put you on point nobody knows what life is until you're fucking you're taking a bus to work and you got to be there at six forty eight on the minute and as you're walking out you step on cat puke you knock over the garbage you go to pick it up there's no breakfast no you know that's when you tough it the fuck out it's not like mommy's there but you know i'll tell you nothing big happens until you put your balls in the line and sometimes

it's just making the commitment of coming out here maybe for you that's what it was because all your other friends are still back there or maybe some of them are out here i know for me it was stepping up you know it's always stepping up you got to always fucking step up whatever you want to do you got to step up and stick to your guns and say this is what i'm going to fucking do and i'm going to be the best at it for however long i have to do it because i know the end is just pay off yeah no it's uh it's interesting because you had job you had jobs like the chinese delivery guy but it was nothing that would hold you back it was it was sixty seventy dollars two three nights a week just to make ends meet yeah but it didn't take away from my fucking dream

at the time i had two dreams i wanted to stop being a criminal and become the best comedian i could fucking become i didn't know how i didn't fucking have the answer how but it's funny uh friday night we're at the improv you didn't come by no i was just out of there and somebody came up to me i didn't never knew before and said hey man uh what's up but he was can he was funny you know in his own way and he goes hey man uh joey was that but i listened to the podcast where's the fucking flying jew he goes i just moved here from whatever and i'm the funniest fucking guy i need to guess that i'll change and it was funny that i looked at him and he was goofing but i know he was serious you know i couldn't give him a guess at but i got in the car later that night i thought

about something there's two people in this town there's people that have the town the look of being a star okay and there's people that have the look of being a good comedian okay and their eyes you know i never had to look in my eyes to be a star because i never thought i could reach it and that's not what i'm into i just had to look at being a good comedian i wanted to earn i wanted to yearn to learn how to be a good comedian you don't know a book doesn't teach you and it's just like jujitsu it's mat time it's anything else it's mat time it's stage time gotta get on fucking stage and that's when i was doing comedy for those two years and i was rocking a roll and i had the business card and i had the headshot i was part-time at it when you when i made the commitment was when

everything became a lot clearer and even then i hadn't made a commitment i was still fucking around i wasn't and as the better i got the commitment got more intense and it took me 20 years to get off the coke took me 17 years of doing comedy to get off the coke yeah so i don't even think i committed to that i thought that was all part of the fucking lifestyle boy was i wrong i know podcast has changed from both of our lives but do you ever think that i would be into it'd be interesting to see how many more new stand-up comics there are these past couple years do you think all these podcasts are kind of hurting stand-up in a way because all these people are because it gets so glamorized on the podcast that everyone thinks they can do it and it just seems like maybe

because it makes everyone think they can do it we had this conversation you and i we did being a comic yeah there's a 20 fucking year thing oh yeah a 10 year fucking thing you know what i before i got into podcasting i was doing comedy 19 and a half years that's 19 years of stages that's not 19 years with a manager that's 19 years of ugly stages triple runs you know buffalo rock chester you know i don't give a fuck eudica new york where it's always fucking cloudy fuck philadelphia always fucking cloudy in eudica new york so i had chops i had legs as you call oh no i know you did yeah you have movable objects you know how to get in and out of it you know how to say certain words you know how to not to say two words because the comedy is not just

about being funny it's the word and how the word hits you so you have a thing i've been on tv shows and like anybody else i'll sit there and watch what the fuck are they doing and go oh i could do this yeah are you with me here so that's what when i looked at podcasting i looked at it as a yes a forum for your comedy but at the same fucking time it's a forum for a show they're not giving out developmental deals like they used to 50 fucking years ago you want to develop a show develop a fucking podcast the same fucking difference mm-hmm they gave mariner show off the fucking podcast they gave Pete now what happened to Pete's show they got re-picked up for what for kona for yeah for like another three months they they're picking it it's weird they're picking it up in like three

months spurts so i don't i don't know that's crazy it's not i don't know it's on it starts back in february okay because it's not i don't know so you know all these shows are getting picked up from podcast so yes there's a forum here mm-hmm but i don't want you to think that you're gonna come in and six months do yeah it's it's very hard and some people's expectations there's a lot that goes into this yeah adam corolla's been around for a while joe rogan's been around for 20 years you know fucking uh reef of men he's been around for 20 fucking years but mark maren's been around for 20 years bill burr's been around for 20 years these are the guys that walked into a mic and i remember doing a fucking uh i remember doing a show in miami last year for the miami comedy festival

in sirius was there i don't give a fuck if they're listening to who the fuck's listening they had some kid interview me and it was the most awkward interview ever because it was a comic trying to be a comic that it wasn't a comic he took an improv 101 class and i could see the holes in this fucking game and that's why when i came out here and i looked around and even though i booked baseball in bronx county i said it's time to go on the road because what if this was what i figured out on my own nobody told me this what if they put me on this i was doing comedy six and a half years when i moved here by this point when i made this decision i was doing comedy eight years and i was still slipping on stage i had 20 25 minutes i could get away with whatever i could fucking

jive but what if they put me in between a real comic like nick de palo and doug stanhope at the improv my holes are gonna be that much bigger do you understand yeah you can see the difference so let me go prepare this and the way to prepare this was i got the fucking matt time yeah so so i think what you're saying is this is i wish that you could just wake up one morning and get a microphone and get out of the podcast yeah and start talking shit you know i wish that it was like that but as you know it's not it takes a lot of hard work and preparation and it's a great transition from stand-up to a podcast or from hosting to a podcast or whatever the fuck it is that you want to do whether you want to be a plumber and be a podcast it's just personality

and the truth if you stick the personality and the truth you can't go wrong personality and the truth that's it that's that'll always get you anywhere else even if you don't know what the fuck you're doing even if you don't know what you're doing as long as you just talk and make sure that what you're saying is the truth and how you feel who gives a fuck after that and it's funny how many podcasts haven't figured that out yet a lot of people haven't figured this people are 90 walking around that they still want to walk around with an earring and they're fucking knows to sure be how cool the fuck they are you understand me god fucking forbid they took the earring off and just opened up themselves and said this is who the fuck i am yeah no i mean

i just want to get your opinion on it it's funny my friend george george kolodinsky oh yeah went to a play last week okay they called back and i go how was it because you know he goes it's fucking amazing that these are people that and you ever go you ever go out with me at night Lancashire give a try about Lancashire at night you see all these little feeder groups yeah you'll never see those people and i don't mean nothing no disrespect any of them they're part of a clique they support each other when they get off stays they hug each other they all have day jobs they have a dream but not really they know where they stand in some way or another i do not fault them and they'll do this till they're 60 yeah they'll be part of a feeder group even

though there's no theater in los angeles you know they want to get close to the edge but they don't want to look over and that's your prerogative me whatever i do i want to fucking go for it yeah you know he said they got off and people were hugging each other he goes the guy sang the worst song and the nine people hugged him and told him it was great it broke my fucking guy we go through it all the fucking time you know but they hug you and now you're confused instead of somebody telling you listen that was a great joke but this is where you need and i when i cut out stairs the first time i'm looking to tear a fucking set down like saturday when you came i'm looking to tear the fucking set down but it's amazing how people want to put their feet in

the water but they don't want to put they don't want to jump in well that saturday saturday was probably a really good example of what doing it for 20 however many years you've done it in 20 years got you because you were so sick and it was one of the better sense of seeing you do recently just because you probably had no idea what you were saying nothing i had no fucking idea i was doing old material new material youtube material i didn't know what the fuck i was saying because and i couldn't even the timing was off i felt like puking once i started sweating i started getting anxiety on stage i'm getting sicker and i can't do fucking the podcast this weekend i can't take a flight to minneapolis on thursday and there's so many fucking things i couldn't do you know so

that made it worse i was thinking about that while i was spitting out my fucking set and yeah the 20 years of doing it you know gets you by a lot of times but uh and i'm talking to them generalities here i'm talking about anything you do even if you fucking go to school you know just putting a little bit more and that's all i did when i moved for the first two years i was putting minimal effort and i was spanking bitches okay and never yeah i think i told the story here when i came in second at the contest yeah and there was a kid and he had a writing class and and i didn't go to the writing class and the kid was mad at me and then the year later not even a few months later i had a t-shirt on at a comedy club and he came up to me he goes look at you why do you waste your

time doing comedy i told you about this some guy came up to me that was a writer his name was matt woods and he comes from long island with a with a bunch of other guys they were all friends with roseanne bar okay and matt woods came up to me one night he goes you know i gotta tell you something look at the fucking shape of you he was you're coming here with a t-shirt on your nose is always fucking dripping you don't think i fucking know what you do he goes half the shows they give you you cancel and he goes the sad thing is you're the funniest guy i want all these guys in the natural he goes if you put work into this shit you'd be a killer i mean this guy just throw it at me fucking to the point where my hands were crunching i'm like i'm gonna have to smack this

motherfucker but i knew he wasn't drinking that's what saved him if he was drinking i would attack them and he said to me it was bro don't even do this anymore he was if you put work into this you would do something but you're just coming down here and fucking getting on stage and then from like this ain't you he's buying time that speech i remember walking halfway to the bus and half walking halfway back to knock him out and getting on the bus but he was telling me the truth late he was telling me the truth about my life and i got on that bus man and i was fucking hot i had coked in my pocket i was so hot i wouldn't even fucking do it i was so hot i couldn't believe i had let somebody speak to me that way but the reason why i didn't raise my hand was because

he was telling me the fucking truth he was breaking it down for me he had this class on tuesday that he would do for free three hours this guy wrote for fucking rose an this guy wrote for fucking sign for this guy was a great writer i never showed up why would i why the fuck would i no i needed more than fucking anybody i know i know you didn't yeah yeah but i didn't need it at the time in my head free the comedy works paid for it free why would i fucking go down i was too busy getting my powder together you know and then uh it's so funny one of my favorite movies is the pope of granite's village when he says when the beginning of the first line of that movie mickey rick goes to pay the loan shark the loan shark says to him oh scott oh i come over he keeps

me waiting when they're looking to borrow it's a great line when you borrow whenever if i call you go lea i need ten thousand a mile what time will you be there lea i'll be about eleven you bet your ass i'm gonna be outside at ten thirty in the morning with my best suit on when you walk up those stairs hey i'm gonna have coffee for you wait till it turns out when wait till it comes the day i gotta pay and you say to me what time are you gonna be tomorrow eleven and i get here at four thirty that's the expression nobody keeps me waiting when they're looking to borrow you know it's yeah was i talking about you know about the writing class and and uh i wouldn't go i wouldn't fucking go to the writing class i would never dream of did he go after that conversation

no because i thought i was gonna kill him i thought i was gonna fucking kill him but it changed my life the next morning when i woke up i cried a little bit uh he had told me the truth about some things and then i fucking got my notebook and i this what this happened in 94 i saw him in 1997 he was a brian dunkelman remember brian dunkelman he was the winner and he got the job with i worked with brian dunkelman he was he was the first host of american idol and i worked i worked with him two or three years ago on this fucking it was a terrible uh well i got paid tv slot so they had a they had a game show but it's it came out like midnight when you have to pay for the slot yourself like it's not like the tv network gave them a show so he was just he was terrible always

a fucking heartbreak but brian dunkelman uh came in with him and he was helping brian dunkelman just before american idol because brian dunkelman developed in denver for a while okay so uh it was at the brave bull roody roody marino on those days used to broke the brave bull and i had a followers detective comic they used to go on stage and say yeah i like my women i like my coffee with big tits and all these kind of jokes like that funny guy i forget what his name is darryl white something and fucking uh i killed i leveled this fucking room leveled it by mistake it was my first time at roody's and i wanted to make a good impression i leveled the room and when i got off stage there was matt woods and the guy who had given me the speech three years early and he looked

at me and i looked at him and we laughed and he hugged me and i go you don't know how close you came to fucking dying and he goes i knew that night but he goes i knew i had to get under your skin he goes you were wasting your time you were fucking wasting your time and i was i really was in those days you called the comedy works on tuesdays and they give you three minutes the next tuesday i would call at 12 o'clock they give me the spot and by six thirty i'd cancel for the next week already for the camp for i canceled that night at six thirty and i killed them i used to piss them off you know so when people when we talk about fear and shit i was more there's things you do for a while but you just bullshit yourself and then there's one day that you

eclipse and you're like okay now i get it and people you know a lot of questions like when does it start when does anything start again whether you're laying brick whether you're bending pipe for a fucking electrician whether you're fucking installing boards whether you're you know flooring whatever the fuck you're doing roofing you start somewhere and one day it fucking clicks you know one day you're on a roof and you're like oh i get it three inches i shouldn't lay this sideways you know and you get it and then you become better at your job and you enjoy it now because you're growing as it's weird what happens even you with editing you know that's what i was gonna say it's scary when you get to that point with something but you know it's not what you want

to do and that's why it's scary for people to take that jump because they might have gotten so comfortable with roofing and they can make enough money to have a nicer house but they really want to do plumbing let's just say but then they're gonna have to start at the bottom again and they'll make mistakes so it's uh that that's that's i think the scariest part is when you get comfortable with something else which is why it's so great i'm happy that i started i'm still relatively young even though i don't feel like i feel like 25 is old but uh i'm happy that i'm starting now rather than 40 or 50 do you have any idea how young you are no how much life you had you know when i was 25 it was 19 uh so i'll just break it to you when i was 25

it was 1988 i was born in 63 you know and and i thought it was the end of the world also once i got to be 25 you don't have a career most of your friends are coming out of school you're dicking around you know at the time what brought me my sanity was i was always taking at least six credits i always did something that helped my sanity that always kept me together that no matter what i did rob houses snubblow there was two nights a week i was just joey ds i went and learned something because that made me feel a lot better about everything that was going on you know but man 25 is fucking nothing in reality you still got ten years to fuck around i know i hope so it's uh it doesn't feel like we're gonna call come in

oh shit hey what's up joey good morning my friend how are you good david odana on the line here i didn't even know your fucking last name was odana i would have liked you even more i thought you were just irish and i loved you but then when i found out your name was odana last night i really fucking love you i used to i used to hang out with whitey odana good man back in jersey his grandpa used to pick us up everywhere we could be fucked up and haul him at six in the morning with three Puerto rican fucking half she mails call him up and he'd be there and ten pop hop would be there in three minutes with a bottle of gin drinking and one hand driving with the other didn't give a fuck about the dui in those days there was no different

time different fucking time bro the reason why i had you call in tonight i really want you to talk about kettlebells because it's changed me it's completely changed me and you know again like i told you last night one night i was up in uh what's the neighborhood when you get off of uh the 101 there los feliz mm-hmm i was in los feliz at that little theater district what's the name of that the ucb usb district ucb ucb theater i'm outside there and i'm talking to these three girls and there's one guy about comedy and the one girl says to the one guy so you look like he lost weight what have you been doing in this fucking schmuck answered she goes do you lift weights and he goes no no no no i do kettlebells and he resumed back to his conversation with chad

whatever the fuck they were talking about and i always looked at kettlebells as a fad and then i got into jujitsu and i realized how fucking weak i was and i you know i went online and i knew that youtube offers everything nowadays you don't don't teach how to make a fucking anything but i knew that uh in the tapes i wouldn't see the little things so i went online and i found you and i've been involved with you now what for five months four months five months yeah something like that yeah and you've made some really good improvements so yeah it's good so i went online last night i thought you i think you're so interesting day when i go to the classes and i just want you to break down this heavy style of kettlebells for me or whatever exists well it's

called hard style hard style there's two different types there's the hard style and then there's people that do kettlebell sport and it's uh a little different they actually do kettlebells to train to compete in kettlebell lifts where what we're doing at our gym is for so you have every day life you can you know be functional feel strong and you know move better and be healthy you know and the way hard style works is it it's applicable to there's what they call it a what the hell effect where it carries over into uh any sports or life activities so like you with the jujitsu it'll help your jujitsu game you know understanding your body better and just moving and breathing better and just feeling strong you know like anybody else uh we have you know we were growing up all

we had was a fucking encyclopedia and you went in there and that was the end all be all you know now with online you have all these things and i'm one of those people that i like to read so before i called you i read about it and uh like the swings they fucking burn 20 calories of swing or some shit yeah i'll tell you 20 to 22 i guess depending on 20 to 22 per minute yeah per minute that's that's swimming is what seven calories i'm not yeah i think uh they say it's equivalent to like across country skiing or something like that the amount of energy expended uh per minute it was just not you know when we were kids they said jump and rope if you jump rope for five minutes it was equal to 20 minutes of jogging yeah yeah actually it's 10 minutes to jump and rope

equals 30 minutes yeah i guess so now you know i looked at that and part of the struggle is to lose weight part of this to raise uh the metabolism part of this to get stronger and fucking kettlebells do all that that's true and the thing like i'll tell i told you or i'll tell other people is you know i don't want so worried about losing weight and i said that if you train with like a kettlebell and you're just focusing on wellness and getting better the byproduct as you lose weight it's like don't get focused on just losing weight but actually feeling better and you could correct me if i'm wrong i mean you're breathing you're feeling better breathing and just your overall vitality you're just feeling a lot better right and as that happens you know you start losing weight

and you know i feel i feel great i feel the results have been uh you know went from zero to 60 in my jujitsu i still wake up with a heart on which is big at 50 that's the fucking bottom line that's the bottom fucking line because at my age i'm trying to get the testosterone going it keeps you healthier it didn't work for me to go down there and take a shot you know i i've been able to make two your classes per week now since day one and it's really been like last week was fucking hard like i i think the deadlifts i was doing they were too heavy and i wasn't doing the the uh i wasn't sticking to my form right i wasn't gonna work on that today but every week i'm sore and i get something from the class and i feel i'm fucking stronger well you ask is what you're doing too with the

kettlebell is once you start understanding the movement pattern you're connecting your body because like the deadlift that's a whole body movement and that's how we kind of the kettlebell does it's all like compound movement so you're learning to use your whole body as one instead of just a compilation of parts so definitely helps you connect your body and you feel stronger because you're moving better what i like about your training systems that all these crossfit gyms are fucking opening up now you go on ventura boulevard in studio city and they got these fucking kids out there jumping up and down on ventura fucking boulevard throwing weights around when you and me were growing up we had to go out and fucking pick a fight with a Puerto

Rican ten neighborhoods away that's how you got your fucking cardio you hit somebody with a chair you ran 10 miles you jumped three fences you lost your fucking shoe now they got a crossfit to get in fucking shape these cocksuckers right so your gym focuses on two things they focus on the trx method which is also very beneficial and the uh kettlebell which a lot of people don't do and that's what i really you guys just focus on it and we grow from the kettlebell yeah it's just a simple tool to use and nothing against crossfit it has a lot of good modalities but it seems there's a lot of risk for the amount of reward you get you know there's a lot of injuries because they're doing so many different exercises trying to find a way to be

fit or compete and exercise i guess whereas we just focus on six basic movements and making sure we're moving well we're not worried about how many reps we do it's how many reps we do well you know so it's a little different philosophy so that's that's another reason you're having good benefits because you're focusing on basic movements and owning them and then just getting stronger with them within them and then it'll apply to anything else you try to do in life like i'll tell people like your golf game will get better if you're a good golfer but if you suck at golf you'll still suck at golf you know what i mean but if you're decent you'll you'll get better it'll improve your game or whatever sport if you're a football player or say you play

baseball i train this pitcher and he's good he's gotten better from using the kettlebell so you know it's applicable to whatever you do and i mean i liked how you uh anyway you go today i think everybody moves too fast and they look at the buck yeah and uh i really respected that about you that you took two classes to sit me down and show me the movements because i know i know fucking people now that are just going on youtube because they're broke they want to save 15 fucking bucks and they end up twisting a shoulder fucking thing and now they lose work for a year and they do this because they didn't want to learn to do something properly the first time that's true and that's the sort of thing i say about youtube like i'll tell that to people at the gym it says

wait till you look at you before you go back on youtube let's learn the movements they get them down and then go back and look at youtube because there are some really good instructors you know that put up posts on the youtube but then you'll see some people like what the hell are they doing like you so it's best to just come in you know there's no contracts we don't do it at our gym it's very laid back because i really believe it's about you and meeting your body where it's at and going from there and not getting caught up that i got to be doing this and that and that it's like just you know so just a different philosophy in a lot of places yeah i'm not just worried oh i just want to make a buck it's like i don't want people

to get well we're training to be better you know you took the time and that meant a lot and it's so funny how people don't know when you watch those videos let's pretend you were talking about the clean and press for example yeah and when you're clean you're doing something between the clean the press that you don't see on youtube once you get that happening that bad habit you're never going to get rid of it right yeah so once you think that i'm sorry no that's the other thing that once you get into those bad habits when you're around somebody who's doing it correctly you're going to tear something in your shoulder eventually right so this is why i really enjoyed what you did you took some time out you know it's not like you threw me in the fucking corner like

an orphan you know you set up a time on a different day and uh it was very different than what people are doing today yeah well that's i think a lot of people get into training people for the wrong reasons you know but you know i i don't know i just feel like if we can help somebody realize where they're at and go from there they'll keep training there if i just give you a one size fits all what what i have you you do to a say uh somebody else at the gym like uh i'm trying to think of somebody that's doing something a little different than you uh that new girl there's a new girl i joined elisa i'm not gonna give her the same thing you guys two different people two different paths but they'll be similar but different you know like she has certain things she needs to

address and you need certain things like your shoulders are getting better but it didn't take our time with that that's where you have a little shoulder restriction uh why am i gonna force you to do things that your shoulders aren't ready to do just yet but if we just take our time with it you'll be able to you know what i mean yeah no no no i i i like the i also like the less is more concept of you jim yeah i like so many things that fit you know when you think of working out you think of an hour and a half and that intimidates a lot of people especially a lot of fucking newbies yeah now and a half i got a hard time walking up my fucking steps but right uh when i go to you i do a complex and i judge a workout on my fucking t-shirt okay it's

on your fucking t-shirt when i hit the bag i don't go home till it's the sweat it's my waist when i'm on the fucking thing i don't go home to the what there's times that you're like all right man you're done for the day and i'll go what the fuck and i go in the mirror my face is red my balls are beaming and my shirt's drenched to my underwear and it seemed like we didn't really do much yeah well less is more it's true because but that's the other thing when like i know sometimes you're like that's it when you say that's like yeah you're like well well that's what we need to do today well we're gonna keep doing something that when we don't need to do it just do what you need to do and that i think that's a problem with people why they stop training or they start training

they'll go to the gym for for a month and they're in there for like you said an hour and a half you know they're going five days a week and then then a month later they're done you know whereas 20 minutes half hour you do two to three times a week and you know that's more manageable for people and you'll get good results as far as feeling well and and when i tell after people when they come in and say i only need to come three times a week yeah can i come more sure if you want to but you don't have to you know it's people think they got you know more is better no more is just more you know so i don't know no you have uh you have a great way of training people man and i love you personally and i've wanted to get you on here because i think you have an interesting

thing over there i wouldn't just ask you to ask you it's no i appreciate that joey and same to you and i i'm glad you're there it's fun but i actually enjoy you know training with you it's a lot of fun oh my god this time and you know you got girls on fucking ropes and you know it's it's just stuff that you haven't done like i learned to be able to do a fucking pull-up i never got that president's patch because i couldn't do a pull-up at the ymca in the Bronx remember they the the fucking school would come you had to do pull-ups and sprints and shit yeah and i see some girls in your class that are fucking throwing up weights that are amazing yeah and i'm looking at their form you know because when i first uh got a kettlebell i went over to big five and i bought a 10 pound

and i'm like this is fucking heavy and i tried to do a swing and i'm like i can't do this with 10 pounds i want to see you and you you're handing me this balloon i'm like what the fuck but then i got involved you like you gotta push your heels down and all this and then you see where the movement i see these skinny girls throwing up weights and that inspires me because it makes me know eventually i could do a fucking pull-up you know yeah that and you will be able to you know it's just being patient meeting your body where it's at and if that's something you you want to do it's definitely achievable it's not like oh i had a guy uh the daniel who uh struggled to do two pull-ups when he came in he can do 15 now and so it's just a matter of being patient you're learning about

your body and how because a lot of people don't really know their body like they're not in their their body they're just like you know tired or stiff but with the way we train you you get really connected and aware of your body and then good things happen you know it's amazing how uh i'm 50 and this program really works for me a guy like me you know it's like i'm a big businessman but i travel for comedy yeah i come here two days a week if i if i didn't have to travel i could probably hit your class three times a week i could probably hit the three 9 30 a.m classes and 9 a.m classes right and it would i would feel great as a as a senior you know going into my fucking uh glory years whatever the fuck they call them twilight years twilight years

i i can't imagine being young going down there like a fucking lee lee we gotta get you down there yeah i was just gonna say mr or donald i'm i'm 25 time out just call me dave all right i'd prefer well dave i'm 25 and i haven't been in shape for a single day of being 25 so like is this something someone could do for like who's never worked out ever yes yes well what's your name i'm sorry lee sorry lee that's cool uh i i like to think it not working out but training so we're we're training our body to be better to move better so yes you can train your body to do what it's meant to do and how it's meant to move so absolutely so you should if you want to come down it'd be great to meet you and i don't know definitely and do some training so yeah so that's the other

thing like oh you go to the cross for those what a great workout we had to work out of the day and it's like okay i guess well we we just train we're gonna go in and train and meet our body where it's at each day and train it to be better no it's uh what you guys do down is and the web page is gotbells.com yeah and you go down there you see what the fuck you got they have the intro package you come in you do some jumping jacks and fucking dave will yeah well this we'll we'll get you sorted out and you know and hopefully you like what we have to say and and how we do things and and i wasn't intimidated when i walked in you know i wasn't intimidated as you know that the other people in the class they're involved in other athletic venues i mean there's people in the

class that healthy as fuck yeah you know it's the girls the healthy as fuck they're like Jesus christ you know we're gonna leave here and go run eight miles up glendale pass or whatever and you're like Jesus but it inspires you man it makes you feel better about yourself and dave i was never i never thought i would be doing kettlebells now when i go to a hotel like this weekend i'm in a hotel in minneapolis and i looked the gym is beautiful not one fucking kettlebell so you know some gyms have kettlebells this is a gym in san francisco that has kettlebells and uh when the fuck was i when i first joined up in your class that next week i went somewhere and they had a kettlebell and fucking trx right at a hotel and i was like damn look at this but i didn't really know what i

was doing i did the trx i did the kettlebells and that's what's cool about the trx too like wherever you go you can take it with you that's the whole mantra fitness anywhere so if big if you don't have one at a hotel you can bring them with you you know now what's the big difference between the trx and the kettlebell for people well the kettlebell you know using a weight and you're moving it around with a trx you're just moving your body but you're using as much or as little of your body for resistance so any exercise you think you can do at a gym you can use the trx and you're never sitting down so you basically your core is activated over time so that really complements the the kettlebell the two working together so you know one thing you told me when

i first started going to your class you said that uh one thing you'll definitely go this is your hips will be stronger yeah and i gotta tell you something it feels like i'm walking on stilts sometimes right like that's the you feel taller sometimes like it's adjusted something those you told me and that you go after a while you're gonna see that your hips and that you know when you come out of the shower i even can see like my like my dick now it lifted everything up you know i'm saying so kettlebells are good for fucking so if you want to get in shape dave man i'll see you today i want to thank you for calling just enlighten people a little bit on uh you know what what options they have for them and you can be any fucking age right dave tell him any age age

doesn't matter it doesn't matter at all it's just a willingness to train and don't don't think injuries or where you're at or if you're out of shape like lee said he hasn't trained don't let that limit you you know just say okay i'll meet my body where it's at and we'll go from there and good things can happen what's the oldest guy you've trained dave oh i've trained somebody in the 70s so it doesn't matter you know 70 73 73 yeah so it doesn't matter you know and uh injury wise that doesn't matter too it's you learn to meet your body whereas that with the injury and you go from there like you modify things i'll start here and we'll slowly you know progress you know so you don't have to you know be dead you know while you're alive it could be fully alive and moving and feeling good

so you're a good fucking man my friend i love you well thank you for having me joe irish man i wanted you to open up you know you got a good service over there and if anybody lives in the area and you're looking to really learn kettlebells and the patois you know i'm just a fat fuck but they will whip you into shape jack jiu jitsu if you want to jump through walls whatever the fuck you want to do they will hook you up we'll try and rt and they got six a.m classes and nine a.m classes and you know tuesday night classes and monday night classes so it is always somebody there for you whatever you want to do so that's right i love it i'm a member for life fuck it but thank you joe i appreciate it thank you mr d and i'll see you this morning brother all right

and lee nice talking with you no i'll talk to you soon i'll bring this cocksucker down there with me we'll be that this little jew all right that's good you guys have a good work guys you got it but what's up cocksucker how do you how do you always uh go how do you always find these guys from the east coast it's like it's like you couldn't have been your friend from when you were eight i don't know how you do it like everybody everybody we talk to it's like you you are just go towards the east coast guys like boy he uh he was very interesting you know when i called him he was very nice on the phone i made an appointment with him and i could make it i had an audition i felt really embarrassed but i called him like a man and he was like dog i understand this is holly

blah blah blah and just everything about his demeanor i did go to a place by my house i didn't like it at all it was a little bit too polished yeah but too christian for a gym and it was maybe different less money you know or something it was something i didn't like about the place i liked that this guy was honest he was real uh john evan is one of my jujitsu coaches john bud john evan and marcello denapoli whatever his depala is the black belt the reason why i like john evan so much because i asked john evan at a competition my first month i said you think i could be doing that in six or seven months he goes maybe a year and a half my feelings were hurt for two seconds but the guy was telling me the truth yeah and that's a big thing that's it that's the second

time it's come up today is like just tell people the truth and come to fucking truth who gives a fuck to it you know who gives a fuck if mama would uh you know just gotta tell people the truth sometimes and that that means the world to me you know these people yeah come in this will help you and you go in there they don't put any time or stock into you hurt your fucking feelings man you know i know you want to get in shape and i know you don't know where to start you're like every other american you don't know are they gonna laugh at me what's gonna happen when i go in there how bad the shape my because what we tell ourselves is that you know what uh i i can't do this i'm not in shape for this i'm getting shape on my own that's what we always tell ourselves i'm getting

shape on my own and go in there well i'll tell you what you're never gonna get in fucking gym shape you're never gonna get in karate shape you're never gonna get in jiu-jitsu shape until you go to these things fuck i thought i was going to kickboxing and doing the whole hour and a half all right when i tell you an hour and a half you go to kickboxing do calisthenics you run around the fucking gym then they make you do rounds you know you you kick pads your whole pad your kick pad your whole pads then after that you got a fucking spar for rounds i was doing the whole class took me like four months to get up to that level of breathing when i went into jiu-jitsu it was like i was starting from fucking scratchly i was huffing and puffing up to 10 fucking seconds

and i thought i was in shape from the kickboxing but everything requires different muscles and the endurance levels change so that's what happens you know so you never even if i walk around this fucking neighborhood in eight minutes flat it's not going to be jiu-jitsu shape until i go to jiu-jitsu you know it's not going to be kettlebell shape until i go to kettlebell that's the fear we have we always have that fear i'm gonna go on the fair listen bro the only fear you have and the only failure you have is if you don't fucking go yeah if you don't go even if you drive the first time look and pull away i've done it a thousand times man what a fucking you kid i'm the king of that shit pull up and go this ain't for me but then i'm the first line on the way home after the class

starts i felt bad about myself i said to myself hey i'm not a fucking loser i could have walked in there that's pussy shit that i didn't walk in there and i'll feel so fucking guilty i'll be in there the next morning for the first fucking class that's how i am i've done that 10 times where you look and you get the fuck fuck these motherfuckers there's black people in there it's true it's fucking true but who gives a fuck just go go look nothing you leave you come back the next thing you go who the fuck are them the fucking scare me who the fuck is anybody the fucking scare me who the fuck who the fuckly god damn right i'm gonna go on that i'm gonna huff and puff and i'm gonna sit in the back of the classes and as time progresses i'm gonna move up and

eventually someday some guy's gonna look come in and he's gonna be the same guy i was six months early when i was huffing and puffing in the corner and you're gonna look at him and shake his hand and go dawg you could do this i'm telling you dawg i was dying in here i was seeing stars in the back and martians and shit let me give some a shout out to these fucking people here all right the good guy badges i love you jq shone cleary awayne bloom that guy's gotta be black richard garcia zack camp and keith spurlock i love you motherfuckers i want to thank davo down on you for calling go to gotbells.com he'll help you out and if you need more fucking help that's the other thing you know when i first started going all these things i wouldn't take the honor

because i wanted to see what my thing i would just take three heart aspens you know those little orange aspens for the heart baby medication and then after a while i would take the honor just to experiment to see how far i've gotten with the kettlebells and it's a different different the problem with the honors room tech is that you have to take an hour before you go to your thing okay and it takes like a half hour to get kicked up so it usually kicks up as he's saying you're done and i'm like are you fucking kidding me i just took those fucking room tech somebody eat the fucking wall here now you know so that's what happens sometimes listen i don't fuck around with people i don't bullshit nobody having some heart it's resolution everybody's having a hard

time at the fucking gym go to honor.com start with the hemp force fucking chocolate protein or the acai milkshake you don't want to do that that's fucking fine at least try the fucking alpha brain but don't be a fucking mook go with the shroom tech at least get the shroom tech sport just to see how those fucking mushrooms affect you you're gonna feel fucking great in your workout go to honor.com go to joeydeas.net go to the honor box pressing the code word church church and get fucking 10 to 20 23 i don't know what the fucking percentages they're gonna take could carry you not only that the 20% a month they'll give you 20% discount if you get the shipping program where every month on the fucking month they send you your package whether it has

shroom tech a kettlebell whatever i told you motherfuckers i went to the big five sporting goods over here and it's more expensive for their kettlebells than what you get a ship from fucking honor you're looking for kettlebells going on it whatever they help you out they also have a sweepstakes for the fight with robby lol and fidel and dalis it ends uh february 28 but go to onyx.com sweepstakes and enter now you can win a training session with mike dolce and a bunch of fucking honor products on the arm just like that that's how we roll so go to honor.com today also i want to give a shout out to another fucking sponsor in mind who i love i've never gotten a complaint about these guys who loo fucking plus who loo plus i ain't gonna tell you again people you know you're sitting there

at night you're fucking watching whatever the fuck you watch you're scratching you had it's the same shit every fucking night on the tv they just scramble it to different channels thank god there's a couple fucking channels that okay every fucking night you sit there like a month what am i gonna watch this shit could all end for seven nine nine a month you can have fucking who loo plus rocking you understand me rocking they got everything original programming tv shows brooklyn nine nine they got everything on there movies documentaries why are you fucking around with yourself you get two weeks on here i'm just to check it out two weeks for free nobody the one's the last time in chicks i'll suck your dick for two weeks and then we'll decide if you want to

marry me nobody does that shit no more so go to fucking who loo plus go to joeydeers.net go to the who loo plus box press in joey joey get your two weeks for fucking free and seven nine nine a month after that that's how i fucking roll you understand me you like joey why you're being so nice today because it's wednesday anything could fucking happen day that's why i'm being so fucking nice why do you have to ask so many fucking questions so the name of the name is today onic.com and fucking who loo plus get your shit together get what's coming to you you understand me i know it's cold it's snowing break out the hot fucking cocoa in the black Sabbath get some fucking reefer and stop some fucking crying bitches where's the black Sabbath at well i'll get some a little

fucking tomorrows dream something with some or children of the gray fuck these motherfuckers it's wednesday i need you to fire it up i need you to go out there and get what's fucking coming to you with that sit schools back in session bitches if you're not back in school you're slipping if you're not reading the fucking new york times you're slipping if you're not doing jumping jacks you're slipping and if you're not smoking reefer you're slipping too come second what oh shit oh shit are you fucking kidding me or what fucking getting down wednesday january 22nd write your goals down wash your pussy paint your fingernails do some

the fuck motherfuckers be slipping this shit man Minneapolis it's freezing it's fucking freezing up there and i'm coming so get your shit together get your galoshes get your winter boots do what you need to do i got a show tomorrow night 7 30 friday night 7 30 and 9 30 fucking saturday 9 30 i don't want to hear shit i'm coming up there it's cold it's 92 fucking below bring your penguin night this saturday night bring your fucking penguin night you like that lea i love it we had a cancel a live podcast on the 29th up at uh the ice house because i'm shooting wednesday night so my apologies when we were scheduled

so that's it you got me in fucking minneapolis then i'm home for four weeks doing jumping jacks kettlebell in it like a fucking motherfucker getting yoked up drinking heaven force milkshakes and watching who loops us for four weeks what's up cocksucker now i'm not trying to couple great days of new podcasts with jerry rocha and uh rick ramos listen nobody remembers when we first started the church we were talking to you about movies okay i'm gonna tell you guys the truth because i always tell you the fucking truth even when i lie so we'll give you little movie reviews and i will pop up all the movies for you guys and some young guys said go fuck yourself grandpa and some guys said joy we love it we never heard of this movie never saw this movie so i

appreciate it but after a while i thought i wasn't doing you guys at the service because i hadn't really seen these movies in 10 years i was making a list for you guys and going from memory and that's not fair to you guys and i'll tell you why i also wasn't fair to you motherfuckers because the savage like rick ramos was walking around rick was working at the time of going to school so i really couldn't have rick on at six in the morning you know to call in it just doesn't make sense rick is an on the tap motherfucker but i know one thing about rick i know that he knows his fucking movies i know that he goes to fucking three or four movies every week i know he's on speed dial with all these fucking movie houses around here with the old movies and who's gonna show up when it comes

to movies bro if you want to know about something what's the name of his podcast watch this watch this with rick ramos tuesdays on news stream or downloaded on fucking itunes once the party gets started it'll be up tonight you're not gonna you're not gonna be fucking sorry i i give you my word this is uh when it comes to movies man i've listened to podcasts and i've watched all these services and there's some people who know but there's some people do it to be cute rick ramos does it because he knows fucking movies is gonna be an entertaining fucking podcast so watch this every fucking tuesday right every fucking tuesday and then this is how big of a nerd i am with jerry wrote you monday's at ten no jerry ten years i used to snort cocoa all night no past so i wake up

called jerry and he'd get some comic book store jumping up and down with a bunch of fucking clowns he told uh he told he told us he met and he had figurines and then he made part of him but then he also knew who each of the figurines was sure you gotta know what the fuck and then of course find you radio the augustino every tuesday eight in the morning so we have a whole bunch of shows right now we just showed we're not coming to the fucking network here we ain't fucking around no more why i got these people they got good knowledge behind them it's not like i'm gonna put a bunch of fucking jamokes around you you got good knowledge that's all you're fucking need one guy's a fucking nerd he plays with figurines he listens to music you don't smoke dope that's a

fucking nerd and the other guy just watches movie and don't do nothing i'm giving you two fucking complete savages i tell you this reefer was beautiful today on a fucking wednesday morning you haven't yet i'm telling you now for the first time i'm even smoking them i don't want to get this sick i you have not coughing no it's it's almost gone oh and then also steve simon's podcast is about to start so check that out another fucking savage and he's gonna tell you we all heard it we all heard the fucking tenor cookies from term tiramina and philadelphia the other what's tiramina the best fucking it's fucking simon's neighborhood bakery oh i love it he took me to uh the the italian

sandwich shop up in ensino what jeep uh we it's he's not even fat but it was the fat man special we each we each got a different sandwich and we split it in half so i got we got roast beef with hot peppers and cheese and then we got um chicken parm and split that i was a chicken parm it was good but the roast beef with the hot peppers was fucking delicious a little problem yeah i knew fucking vinegar oil yep come on all right with some lettuce and tomato no fucking just cheese hot peppers oh yeah i said that sandwich right it goes right to your fucking liver oh my god it just lets out fucking fat cells it's all over your pissing fat cells i was so happy i was so happy when we were driving up he's like listen these are the best sandwiches you're ever gonna have

let's split it and i would never used to do that but i was like okay last time i was in there i got so fucking agitated because joe white man was in there with a bunch of sandals on the whitest guy in america all over the fucking turkey sandwich no shit you could have gotten this around this guy you're wasting a fucking time and he wanted his whitest could be like turkey on white bread that's it and he's pissed about the amount of turkey i was ready to take the guy and throw him out the fucking window because he was joe fucking white bread yeah 20 000 he kind of got that white man fucking deli over at the routes they give you all the turkey you want with no flavor he's over there wasting his fucking time over there at the fucking italian deli

showing his big fucking disgusting toes eat the turkey sandwich you fat fuck you know turkey on let me get turkey on we eat when if i smell get the fuck out of here with that fucking tofu special go fuck yourself you're my tofu special i'm gonna go rub fucking sofu in your face tofu and hummus and rub it on your fucking face and shit look at you you said hummus like i got all the weakly knees yesterday i took my wife to eat this gyro place yeah and they have a regular gyro and i said to her what's the yuhu gyro the one up she goes that one we take a flat plant and we put hummus and i go stop right there i would love that she goes why you do not like hummus i don't like you either but i gotta eat the fucking gyro so just bring it and shut the

fuck up she brought me a great smoothie though great place well it's just when she said i don't know what the fucking name is you know i don't ask questions i just been there before i took the agostino there last week for a gyro what's with the question what's with the fucking questions i don't need these fucking questions i love it i'm still a little sick though my wife has got it my wife is fucking sick yes i felt so bad the fucking kids got it the kid had it monday little 18 fucking year old baby she's barfing literally i'm just looking at me she didn't know what was going on i felt so fucking bad hey but that's what happened now with these fucking fools and the shit but uh that was terrible for a couple days so you don't think it was a

taco man nah i think it was a bug some type of bug i think that uh like i said i wore myself a little fucking thin last week i didn't know and uh sometimes without the sleep and the fucking weights and the kettlebells and i wore myself a little thin so i gotta look out a little bit after that you gotta look out to yourself you know sometimes we overlook we think that we're working or whatever and we look and yet i'm getting sick so the law of diminishing returns you made a little money and i gotta take three weeks off yeah to earn so no it was everything was everything you gotta start from scratch and you know when you go to work out you're breathing so look at this fucking guy jesus the rice did you imagine you take a hit of hash right

to the smoke in here you want to take a hit of hash no you sure i got some hash for you i'm gonna have to start scraping that if anyone knows how to get the weed smell out of a room please let me know why this does it smell like weed oh god you see people walked in here yesterday they're like who is smoking i was like joey smoked on monday we'll open this door and we'll fucking spray it good we'll take the furniture out we'll spray the carpet because some of them went in the carpet we gotta fucking cut the carpet crazy good over here like a Puerto Rican because i burnt it then they'll find out after you get to the positive fuck them by that point oh you spray paint the carpet we'll steam it okay you just spray paint over the burn mark what are you spray painting with the

color of the fucking carpet will that show paint who the fuck you think you're dealing with dog oh you get touch up paint then ever gonna look at the carpet individual they're gonna stop over here they're gonna make sure you steam it vacuumed it what the fuck you think you're dealing with it come on now i love it take some nail polish this color you nail the fucking burn mark come on dog who who the fuck do you think you think you're dealing with some fucking novice here some fucking guy from the corner some sweaters no you got flavor here let's smoke this joint then we'll get the fuck out of here all right so beautiful they don't be alive what are we gonna do sit here and talk to these motherfuckers they want to go home too no they don't they love it

i love fucking reefer it's making a comeback fucking people talking about it now they're making money in colorado they're saying wait we're making more money off this shit than the fucking gays getting married i was gonna say are you going to do you have any plans to go to denver soon no i live in denver well i know the new company no i got nothing my mind isn't fucking in the hell right now when you fucking done before my mind is done i don't know it'd be cool to buy a legal weed i think so you go walk into any store with no license nothing yeah no license you have to

show your regular license but apparently it's like three times as expensive and then they still have the medical weed which is cheaper but yeah you can walk in anywhere now they have tours they have like fucking limo tours around like it's like a wine country why don't you move up to denver and give people tours get a little bicycle i don't smoke weed that much guess what bitch what we're back on monday we're gonna take back on the fucking torch of life doing bottle hits eating goomy biz you forgot we got these here and shit don't mean no i never forgot hold on there was like 10 of them here somebody's been eating these

i'm not distraining what you got sucka wasn't it you've been eating these no don't lie to me i think i get an edible sundae sundae you have to sleep a little bit uh whenever i take an edible i can always feel myself like the spit going down so i just knew being sick it would freak me out if i was high like that yeah i got high the other day on another one that was it it's been a good way we haven't been no no no i've been tip top shape i'm trying to keep everything in composure you do that for everything for like working out and being high you go in cycles of things and it's not i don't think it's even based on anything i think once you get bored of it you're like all right something new yeah i gotta go yeah i gotta go no i'm ready

for heroin again i'm ready for two lines of some chinese fucking heroin from china town oh my god what do you what do you think that would do to you if you actually started doing i would shoot myself i couldn't do nothing now my head saw i thought about that the other day i thought about what would happen to me now listen i would do a line of coke and i wouldn't die but everything would end i made a promise you know i made a promise i didn't make a promise to my mom i didn't make a promise to some priest i didn't make a promise but a spiritual leader i made a promise to myself and that promise took me a long way so for me to break that promise it would just be i would still stay alive and i'd probably live for 20 years and i'd probably

the last 20 years of my life would be miserable i'd lose my daughter i'd lose my wife i'd lose it all you know you think one line of coke would do that to you yeah i made a promise wow i was raised on promises you know in cuba they have st lazaro and his birthday is december 17th and what you do is he's his color is purple so if your knees hurt or you want your daughter to get better or a family member you make a promise to st lazaro that you'll wear purple for a year every day in some of your clothing purple socks purple jeans purple shirt purple jacket purple hat you know those little things you do that nobody needs to know you know you know when you go oh my god i made no nobody needs to know so i made a promise i made a promise that if you save this cat

i would never do blow again and the process i fell in love with the cat and the cat appreciates it the cat's on top of me every fucking day yeah we were on the phone yesterday and you were like wait a second super bad super bad it's always lurking he's always lurking biting my arm so he knows i made a promise so it's the weirdest fucking thing i made a promise yeah no rehab no fucking holy water no exorcism no bullshit story this is how i have to live my life and it worked out for me so for me to break that promise it would take everything else down it would end our friendship it would end everything wow because that's how big this promise is it's your word it's all you fucking have and it's something that people we lose it i lost that upbringing when i got one

night when my mother died and i smothered myself with drugs all those years i forgot that what i was about that's how i was raised i'm gonna want i'm looking at me one day you know somebody talked to you like after my mother died he hunted me down this car he took me and he goes can i talk to you for a second i went oh my god what's up he goes listen man we're cleaning the attic because i found a bag of marijuana he goes i found bags of roaches they cleaned each roach up there was bags because me and the guys of smothering just stole the roaches behind this fucking dresser okay and he goes listen man he goes i've had some disappointment in my life that broke my heart to know that you smoked dope he goes do me a favor make me a promise right here right now that you'll

never smoke marijuana against where the sand lies or when i couldn't do it at that age i was probably 16 i was fucked up and i knew i wasn't prepared to make that promise that i wasn't gonna get high again i don't know what made me remember to do that when i was fucking 43 years old or 45 i don't know i do not know but it worked it's great uh and i know you have 18 books you have to write but that's that's because there's so many people who who relapse and and and do all that stuff and it's it's crazy that you never did it i mean it's you never hear that you never hear i transfer addictions in a way because i kept smoking pot but i don't know when the last time somebody fucked their life above a reef okay and if you fuck your life above a reef it's time just to go

in the room with a bunch of padded dicks and stab yourself till you fucking bleed to death but no i uh with all the rehabs and all this shit we've forgotten about ourselves you know what kept me out of jail wasn't people fucking in the ass or the beatings nothing kept me out of jail was what it did to the people around me the looks on their faces when they have to come visit you because in any in every fucking in every scenario when i sit up at night think about leaders two scenarios i don't see him i don't see him in a prison i don't see him dead we never see our friends in those two fucking scenarios okay so when a friend sees you in that scenario blows their fucking mind blows their mind because you're knowing and you're seeing

there's two different fucking things in your life so i would see the people who care for me would come see me and that with that orange suit on and i'd seen what it did to them you know i saw when i went to when i got sentenced to prison what it did to george if we get george here right now and smoke some pot and crack some jokes and get george loose george would tell you when that was one of the toughest days of your life to see one of your buddies get taken away and you can't fucking help them it's a tough fucking daily so it affects everybody and if you don't know that then you're a fucking piece of shit for not knowing and that's why your life's a mess and that's why for a long time i knew but i ignored it you know what made me get off coke

listen to me the last thing i wanted was with terry to find me on the floor she's too sweet if it was a different girl that did coke and whatever give a fuck but not terry it would destroy her world she wouldn't react to that a lot of people can't you know it took me for fucking years after i found my mother dead on the floor you can't i'd rather hear about it you know he was found in a hotel they're gonna ship his body back i would never want terry to fucking find me in the living room so these are the things that comes to merman when you're playing your addiction card when you're trying to get your life together these are the things that you finally think about that overwhelm everything else you know that should and that's when you go that's it

i'm gonna make my decision now you're looming it's like driving up to that fucking pizza but it's like driving up to that gym and you look inside and you're fucking pull away you'll do that three or four times with addiction i'm sure and then one fucking morning you go that's it it ends i'm never gonna do that again and it's a week it's a week out of your life that you suffer that it's a week of breaking then it's a month of breaking patterns and then you're set now i've told i've always talked to people you always hear people who who quit but they still hang around with people who do it and they still get offered it look at this kid on diego on another podcast who was 19 and was smoking uh heroin for three years and just got clean and he's doing good but he said he's

been offered it and like do you do you don't hang out with the people who still do coke and like it seems like that'd be a big thing to get to change listen man i never really hung out with people do coke i hung out with Joe Roganari in Duncan okay so my drug addict that's what i liked about it eddie that those guys didn't do fucking drugs they didn't you know i don't want to hang out with people eight people get high i want to hang out with three or four people who don't get high so that was always my secret that i didn't hang out with people who got high was it because they wouldn't ask you for any or like why because i knew that they would fuel me okay you know i'm saying i always wanted to i always wanted to do things different i don't hang i hang out with

people who get high today but when it comes to me they don't even talk about it i don't want to hear about it the other day somebody mentioned something to me the other day about blowing it went in money or went out the other it doesn't even go in my ears don't know at all i don't know why it just worked out that way that's great i knew what it did like knew it just oh you know we got a lot of emails about addiction and people know people fucking i got one guy the other day six months clean he just realized it's it's the best feeling in the world there's a joke to this that i always say that you're not supposed to get high but let me tell you some people who get high and do 30 days when you hit 30 days you know you've done 30 days you're a fucking soldier and i applaud you and anybody

who stays clean and then goes back to getting high it's a heartache because they know what they've done they saw the miracle work one time they fucking saw it's like it's like losing weight and then getting it back it's uh they saw the miracle yeah they they see the miracle and they go what the fuck just happened i was clean and sober for 13 years what the fuck happened and that's why i watch my p's and q's because i know how easy it is but i'm 50 and i know that i got my time is limited and i know that if i did i don't have any desire to do it nothing nothing at all i did towards again the last couple years my desire was sex and doing it like doing a couple rocks and getting your dick sucked getting finding a victim and shit like that so i had like a purpose

after i don't know i don't know i just don't have a purpose with it no more i never had a purpose for that in my life that whole party scene do you feel like you hit rock bottom not at all really because i just watched flight and then he didn't hit rock bottom and the door was banging and i made him it just it's uh i didn't hit rock bottom i well i did hit rock bottom 88 by going to prison that's rock bottom prison is rock bottom when i got out i continued to do it regardless of it i was a little bit more cautious you know and i respected it more i knew that the traps you know the traps okay and in the hindsight it's all a fucking trap you know in hindsight they're all traps but you know the smaller traps three or four days dealing you know that

shit will get you in trouble fast a big but mountain your house so i always knew i knew one thing if i went to bed and there was an ounce of coke in my house i wasn't going to go to bed till that ounce of coke was gone Jesus plain and simple so after a while i knew not to lie to myself i knew to bring enough in just to fucking and once i was in i wasn't going out so if i lived the court if i lived on the first floor lee and you live on the third floor yeah i would come up here and give you a bag and you wouldn't see me the rest of the night you wouldn't hear from me till i was unhigh enough to walk up here and get it from you which would probably be two days later i would never come and knock on your door it would be very hard because i was so paranoid to

even open that fucking door that i would not open the fucking door so i would only take with me what i was gonna do i would make a look at the clock i would make a plan of my attack i want to be in bed by six this is how much i could snort every hour i got enough water i got cigarettes i got weed i got rolling papers terry's asleep i'm going to work that's how hard that's how much work addiction was so when you take all that work away from addiction do you see where just spending three more hours with myself helped my comedy yeah no i mean i can't imagine how much more time you have now helped me to get in shape because when you have an addiction it's the undercurrent of your life it's the continuing fucking soundtrack of your life no matter who you love what's in your life

how good your career is going the continuing soundtrack is all that shit don't matter because tonight when i get home at seven o'clock i'm blasting off the fucking la la vil whether it's heroin pills you know and that's that's the continuing thing of of fucking addiction and that's why it sucks ass and it's fucking great when you beat it so listen if you're kicking ass look at this lady with a big ass titties coming out and get the newspaper your fucking filthy sexy motherfucker anyway listen if you're addicted get your shit together i'm not saying to go to a meeting or whatever do whatever works to fucking you okay if you don't want to go to rehab you just want to talk with some fucking hooker on the corner and she could rehab you do that i just want you to be

safe and healthy and have a great fucking week okay i want to thank honnit go to the web page order something nice from them they'll take care of you go to hulu fuckingplus.com they'll take care of you for all your entertainment needs whether it's movies or original programming or documentary you get two weeks for fucking free you know support anybody who supports the podcast remember in february if you walk into a debt squad if you walk into a 10 planet jujitsu whether it be 10 planet st paul whether it be 10 planets chicago whether it be 10 planet rockchaster 10 planet cove the city will einstein any of these 10 planet schools you tell me a debt squad you get the whole month of february for free any bravo's doing that for you guys as a fucking gift

for free just so you see what jujitsu is in the rubber garden how it's changed so many lives if you don't have any money you just want to go down to a fucking 10 planet and see what the fuck they got going on that's what we're doing over here with debt squad we're helping you out thank you very much for keeping you can't eat pussy with asthma and the charts for three fucking weeks 10 three fucking weeks you motherfuckers i've kept it right there i love you coxsuckers with all my heart i'll see you guys in minneapolis and that's elite what do you want to tell these people ain't even good please check out the new podcast whether it's flying g-radio or this is how big of a nerd i am or watch this uh thank you and and and uh just thank you for for watching

this and it's been a great for supporting us and for making this fucking whole dream happen i mean why are you starting for i don't know because i was focusing on the music writing and you popped a question what's with the question now that the show's over don't forget to sign up for your free trial of hulu plus hulu plus let you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime anywhere on your tv pc smartphone or tablet support this podcast and get an extended free trial of hulu plus when you go to huluplus.com slash joey that's huluplus.com slash joey or go to joeyds.net and click on the hulu plus banner dedicated to the niggas that was down from day one welcome to death row like we always do about this time

west coast flavor niggas who talk shit get dealt with real quick so if you want to take a trip to the road let a nigga like snooze doggie dog no protected by niggas with big dicks ak's and one eight seven skis so if it's a must you test us we can handle it in the streets nigga fuck making records yeah jeez up holds down if that bitch can't swim but she found a drizzin peace to my nigga another platinum hit nigga peace to the d.o.c. still making it funky enough and death row records is in full motherfucking official oh yeah p.s. fuck mr. working tattoo aka jerry and easy sincerely yours these motherfucking niggas i don't love easy i don't love jerry i don't love ruthless records frankly i don't love nothing they got to do it but but but you know what i want you to do for me

jerry easy check this shit out here i won't try to put these bizzos in your gizmos and work them like a spirit sign and tell me what you said so yeah you know what you know what fuck all y'all fuck y'all really don't it's that funny you better ask somebody you really better ask somebody yeah use a penguin looking motherfucking yeah mr. buster where the fuck you at gay scrapper link so i know you got to get your dick on hard for fucking your road dogs or hoods you grew up with niggas you grew up with don't need from respect your ass that's why it's time for the doctor to check your ass nigga used to be my homie used to

be my ace now i want to slap the taste out your mouth make your body on to the road fucking me no i'm fucking you little hoe oh you think i would make me fly let me ride just another homicide yeah it's me so i can talk on stop the easiest grease that you can walk on so strap on your cop then hatch your lobes and watch your back because you might get smoke low and pass the bud and straight low key bg because you lost all your homies love now call it what you want to you're fucked with me now it's a must that i fuck with you you we have your motherfucking record company surrounds it put down the candy and let the little boy yow

you know what i'm saying fuck motherfucking bow wow wow yippie yo yippie a doggy dogs in the motherfucking house bow wow wow yippie yo yippie a the sounds of a door bring me to another day play with my bone would you tell me it seems like you're good for making jokes about your jimmy well hit the jimmy joke about your mama that you might not like i heard she was a briscoe type of fucking mama i'm talking about you and me told her toad him you take your bark was loud but your bite wasn't vicious and the rhymes you bite wasn't vicious and the rhymes you were kicking were quite bootylicious you get with doggie dog oh is he crazy with your mama and your daddy hollering baby so what that lets you know

that if you fuck with drink nigga you're fucking with death bro and i ain't even swanging them things i'm hollering 187 with my dick in your mouth be up be up be up here nigga cons your lobby together miss motherfucka so you want to pop that shit give your motherfucking Cranian crack nigga, step on up Now, we ain't no motherfuckin' jokes, so remember the name Mighty, Mighty TR Yeah, motherfucker Shit, I hit the lane

Now understand this my nigga Drake can't be touched Luke's bendin' over me So Luke's gettin' fucked, buster Huster thought I was sleazy I thought I was a mark, cause I used to hang with ease Animosity, made you speak, but you spoke a yo joint What up? Chicked his nigga off, love

If it ain't another hoe that I gots to fuck with Gac teeth in your mouth, so my dick's gots to fit Whip my nuts on your tonsils While your own stays rappin' at your wack ass concert And I'ma snatch your ass from the back side Just show you how depth roll, pull off that hoop ride Now you might not understand me Cause I'm a Robbie in Compton and blast you with Miami

Then we gon' preach this up Centro on a street knowledge mission As I steps in the temple Spotty, gotty, nuzzle pools on my strap Got my chrome to the side of this white sock track You tryna check my home and your best check yourself Cause when you're just straight, you'll dish yourself Motherfuckers, you a nigga

So I don't want no neon nails We do it when you're the biggest dirty ball And you're pro-nighting suckers Fuck it with me Nine D's, Dr. Drake Dropin' chronic once again It don't stop Punishing punk motherfuckers

real quick like concrete style level doggy dogs in the motherfucking hells yeah long beaches in the motherfucking hells yeah yeah straight up really though breaking all these suckers up some real proper life you know what I'm saying all these suckers can eat a fat dick yeah easy easy easy can eat a big fat dick Tim don't can eat a big fat dick can eat a fat dick