Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #145 - The Church Of What's Happening Now

Episode Date: January 27, 2014

Porn Director Sal Genoa calls in to torture Lee and talk New Jersey with Joey This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for 50% off your first order. Recorded live on 01/26/2014.

this show is sponsored by Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime anywhere on your tv, pc, smart phone or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to HuluPlus.com slash Joey. That's HuluPlus.com slash Joey. And buy dollarshaveclub.com. Get high quality razors into your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now go to dollarshaveclub.com slash church. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash church. Or just go to joey.com and click on the dollarshaveclub banner. We're gonna have some fun tonight guys. Oh shit. This show is also sponsored by nature box where you can order great tasting healthy snacks right to your door. Fuck going to the store now. It's snack smarter than the new year

with healthy and delicious treats like french toast canola. Support this podcast and get 50% off. That's half off of your first order. Go to naturebox.com. That's right. Go to naturebox.com and use promo code Joey. That's naturebox.com promo code Joey. The fuck. Get up bitches. Oh shit. Oh shit. Sunday night special edition church. Tell Jesus he's done. Come back next Sunday and I'll give you a fucking piece of bread. Whatever. Oh shit. Oh shit. Little poop. This is a late Sunday night for some of you's early Monday morning if you're fucking in Swahili. But fuck it. You know what we're saying. In two hours it's midnight somewhere. Take it. Lee Wiggle. Wiggle what? Oh shit.

Whether you're going to sleep or you're waking up to this motherfucker here. Listen. You might stab somebody. This is deep. Deep on a Monday. Open up a two pot. Oh shit. What do you think? I don't know what to think. I love it. What up Lisa. Tell me something good. I had a great week and you're on fire right now. I don't know if you did a did some hash on the flight home or something. 52 fucking edibles. I did the whole thing. I'm home you know but we had to do a special edition Sunday night because I'm working Monday Tuesday and Wednesday so I didn't know when I could do another podcast and I know your motherfuckers wake up on Monday morning. Enjoy what the fuck.

You threw me to the wolves. No I don't want that to happen so bam we show up late night. Stone to the gazils. Fuck it. Blast in a way just to either put you to sleep or get you going Monday morning. You know what happened this weekend? What did I miss? What did you do? I had that Paula come over. Okay. Went to the movies. Went to a great movie. Take Mediterranean food. No we didn't have Mediterranean food. Come on. Your fucking system must be like tremendous. The hummus has been climbing you up. No and we had Thai food last night. Oh you got from bad to worse. What? There's nothing wrong with Thai food. Oh Jesus Christ. Oh my god. You like like three things. Like Italian, Chinese and American. I think that's it. That's it. Yeah

that's all you like. And you don't even like that crazy Chinese. You're like the original. I like teriyaki and don't don't fuck around. But teriyaki ain't Chinese. Teriyaki's Japanese so if you go to a Chinese joint art in teriyaki you're throwing me to the fucking wolves. That's what I'm trying to fucking tell you here. I heard you had a funny uh some food happen in Minnesota. I had tremendous fucking food. No I heard someone send ranch up. Oh somebody sent me ranch up those days. I fucking lost my mind. I nearly snapped. I snapped like a fucking werewolf at midnight. I fucking snapped. I was pissed because I was in deep. Next week I wasn't doing too well. So you know this guy throws me to fuck the fucking left ranch. Now I'm really dying in the fucking the

eternal flames. Next time you see Joey send hummus up to the stage and I'll be sending nothing to the fucking stage. Right if business cops tell you because I come home and I eat with a dish of hummus right in the fucking head. Relax with the hummus. I don't like no hummus and I don't like no fucking ranch. You mind you put those two things together? I'm sure someone has. Oh Jesus Christ. You don't you don't want to think about it? Dip your chicken wings in it? No no no no let's please. Dip your 7-11 chicken wings in it. Don't even take me there. It gives me fucking awkward. It gives me disgust in my throat. Like you have 50 pubic hairs in your throat. That's what I thought. I thought you loved that. I don't like that shit man so and I'll tell you how was

the movie? What movie did you go see? Well we saw her which was great. I thought it was great but uh since I started this movie podcast with Rick I've been thinking about movies and I can see because you you told me you had heard bad things about it. Like just bad reviews from people. I read something on Twitter yeah and Diego Stino tweeted something that Diego Stino went to the movies and the movie was slow something. It was it was very slow but it's interesting how your mind your mind frame or your frame of mind when you're seeing a movie really affects it because I could see it's all about a relationship and hurt and I'm in a great one right now so I'm really happy about it so I could see six months ago when I was single really

not liking it so it was it was kind of interesting but it was it's like it's kind of like your worst nightmare like technology has kind of taken over it's like in 30 years it's like when mercy grows up what it's going to be like and it's uh it was kind of it was interesting um I hope it does welding Oscars it was it was a good move I've adjusted to what I've needed with technology yeah I I just I just I just passed my little fucking pubic hairs on the line of just okay I have the computer I don't have an ice board or an iPad none of that shit I don't need a fucking thing on my phone I just I know I could have it but I don't need it I know that you know what there's a time and a place for a computer yeah the time and a place to be human there's a time

for me that's kind of the point of the movie in the way that's what it's all about to me I like it I like it too I can get hooked on it listen there's nothing better than sitting at home smoking dope a pack of cigarettes a book shades down and just going through fucking music on youtube I did it I did it I would buy a fucking a grandma weed in the morning and just sit there while Terry was at work and I smoked dope for two three hours watching youtube videos over and over and over and watching live performances so I know how the addiction works you know Rogan says he was into the games quake and all that shit online I know how it fucking works and I can't let that happen I enjoy being on it I enjoy fucking around in the mornings I enjoy writing comedy on it and not

really I still like to write it out I enjoy writing the book online but besides that I like to have a life when I go to fucking Minnesota to drink coffee when we meet for coffee I always fucking bring a notebook you know so I still want to keep that piece of my sanity I want to keep that I enjoy that it breaks it down my wife said something interesting to me today she goes you know in the mornings I have to put her down and feed her and start writing again in the mornings to give me focus of my day it's so important that you write in the morning sometimes five minutes that's why listen you don't need to like coffee but we can't drink a soda but we need something to slow us down and to open you up in the morning for some of us it's reefer for some of us it's 10 push ups for

some of us it's stretching you know but you need something to just open everything up and sometimes it's really good just to sit down with a notebook and put Monday January 27th it's a beautiful day to be alive I'm going to work today I gotta take a bus it sucks but hey at least I'm working you know tonight I'm gonna go to my dart league I'm gonna fucking read three pages in my book at least shoot you understood the day yeah your day has a purpose sometimes what are you and we've had sort of kind of this discussion before about how you only you take things as far as you think they can go and then you move on to something new well is that what happened with your blog post because watching this movie last night I like had I never have the urge to write anything but like I think

I might write a blog about it just because I was I was moved but and you used to do them every week they were really great every Monday for like three years yeah no matter where I was I sat down to be honest with you the podcast to go yeah that's what I was thinking the podcast really took over for me the blog was a week of taking notes just making mental notes and then writing them down and then on Sunday night looking at them going to bed waking up at 4 30 and fucking right then right from there I jump across the street to the YMCA and I hit the steam bath the jacuzzi and I swim for 45 minutes and I'd be home by 7 30 in the fucking morning okay you know it's it's uh but it's really interesting and there's there used to be a I forget what the name of the book was in the in

the late 90s in the mid 90s it was very popular there was a series of books by the writer's spirit or something like that and what it basically told you was to get up in the morning and just write uncontrollably you know and then going whatever you start your day I like that that's part of my thing writing sometimes I read what I wrote a month ago and I'm like what the fuck is this but it was 5 30 the morning I just forced myself to do it the most important thing is to force yourself to do it doesn't matter what the fuck you write you don't look at but in time you're going to be looking at it you're going to be writing it a lot better instead of writing there you're going to write there with the THERY apostrophe you're going to see little things

adjust which gives you more focus you don't need to go on no computer and play little luminosity exercises from my mind go fuck yourself when you do is get go get back to the feather cock sucker get back to the feather back to the feather and get back to fucking writing and you'll see especially in the mornings I like that little notebook Monday January 27 Tuesday January 28 Wednesday January 29th which is my anniversary in LA 17 motherfucking years wow 17 years in Los Angeles ladies and gentlemen half my fucking life for 17 years so I figure I was in north bergen yeah I was 21 85 I was in Colorado for maybe 15 now I'm here 17 Seattle 3 that's so crazy and then it's uh it's pretty crazy how I mean how

things have been just piling up just so you did Brooklyn 9 9 you're working again this week you just did the denier movie and you and that's one of the things we talked about when we first started working together is you sat me down and you had me watch that danger field movie wasn't even that easy money easy money you said he didn't hit until he was older and like and like that's what you said like this if that like that was your wish for yourself well the funny thing was that I always by this stage nothing would happen but then I watched the biography one night I'm Rodney Dangerfield and it refreshed my memory how even though he had a job and he had to support his family he wrote every day so when he hit every time he had a tv appearance he had new six minutes people like

that motherfucker is brilliant no he had written that he had notebooks full of that shit he had tons of shit written so it was really easy for him to have that and then all of a sudden he hit you know they put him in a caddy shack and they put him in and they put him in fucking easy money which is a brilliant fucking movie yeah I just watched it again not the whole thing I watched the wedding park the other day okay and I have it on my DVR when I went down to the to the video place I took off all the old shit and I saw that it was still on there easy money it's the first movie I basically tape it's the first one so that's one of my all-time favorite fucking movies but thank you for reminding me it wasn't a dream at that time it was more of a if he did it I got a

shot I got a shot do you think I think more and more it's gonna be because they they went for a while and had a lot of young movie stars and they kind of duds it's not their fault I mean it's when you're young you don't really you don't have that experience and now and now they're going back Bill Cosby just got a new show on NBC and now they're going back to the opposite end to like the way old but it's uh it's interesting to see how I mean your career is basically taken off listen do you know how hard it is to be 21 years old you do yeah I was just thinking I could be your dad mm-hmm my daughter's birthday will be next ratio be 24 years old I could be your dad you're 25 that's that's basically that my ball is older than you it's crazy how what are we talking about

fuck we do we had some edible before the show just uh older people that the hollywood no it's crazy how hard it is to be 21 it's crazy how hard it is to be 25 because let me tell you something you're on a podcast you're making some cash blah blah blah you're still scared mm-hmm what happens in 10 years the radio what do you think this is going to go away your experience is going to be very valuable somebody some network is going to come call you and go all for you three hundred thousand dollars you already know it you already know it and you have a college background you ain't going to show up and go no no no this is bullshit it's not me it's you an intelligent man so here's the statistics we reach out to this demographic at this age this is advertising dollars how do I know

because we started from the grassroots we were there from the grassroots when it was this twitter and facebook that's it no phone no fucking can with a string fuck you cocksucker that's all you need so this is what i'm saying there's always value in something it's not like we're selling drugs it's not like you're doing something illegal no but you're selling yourself like that's what I think it's been and I think that's why some of them don't work it's a man it's what the fuck you put into this we're having a good time yeah that's all I want to do with this podcast at the end of the fucking day they just have a good time and let people know you can do whatever the fuck you want especially on a monday morning you know why because it's monday you start all over again that's it

why quit smoking you want to stop whacking off you want to stop fucking who wants to stop whacking off I don't know people want to stop getting you know they want to stop going to San Monica and picking up a deal with a big fucking neck and getting your fucking dick I don't know Lee what do I know you know what I'm saying I had a great time in Minneapolis that's great I was very I fell in love with that mall of America I've been there before Lee and you know me I hate fucking malls and all the way I go to a mall all the fucking time every time I go to a mall I think I'm gonna get shot I swear to God I'm not even kidding you and I was pissed at this mall is beautiful you got to be in shape to be in this mall I didn't see no fat people on carts I haven't told the people on

stage this is a big time mall oh well yeah it's a good little town isn't it it's a big time mall this is a this is real deal holy fear you walk mm-hmm you walk in that motherfucking jacket and they got everything in there from benihana to tony roma to bruburgers bagels to fucking orange julius they got everything you could die in there you could die in there they got every fucking movie they got legoville lego land they got this fucking amusement park lee tremendous and tremendous if you single fuck you it's not gonna work out for you but if you have kids kids and you have a wife and you put away your money and you go there and you're on a budget you don't get fucking room service that's a nice place that's a really nice place I felt really fucking good being there

and then never mind the club and the people at the club the club is great that's my second time there and the guy who owns the joint is exactly what I love he's an old-time juke really a shiny suit you know he's just a sharp guy rick bruntz and I love him with all my heart he's gonna open up another club that's another chain with four fucking clubs comedy is booming again people need fucking comedy you know it's amazing how many comedy clubs are reopening I heard that houston reopened another club opened up in houston it used to be the old comedy showcase so this is good for galley I love when I hear this shit yeah so you know it's funny I've been telling people this that I told you on the podcast every week I go somewhere and the cities are getting fucking

prettier and prettier let me tell you something you have no idea what cold weather is no you have no fucking idea what cold weather that's why they need them all like that lee you have no idea what cold weather is all right I had to go outside to smoke grief I was gonna ask you I'm as legit as a motherfucker it's my advice I got to find the place to smoke it if I get caught okay so raw so raw and it's not like I could smoke with a fucking cigarette when you smoke with a fucking cigarette you get away with you you got to join one hand the cigarette and the other if something happens you could stall them with the cigarette who'll look twice and you go hey how you doing officer meanwhile you got to join the other hand tucked in your fucking jacket already you're prepared

I'm a professional all you got to eat the fucking thing or you got to be next to a sewer strategically so when they come by the time they got out of their car that motherfucker's in the sewer put the fishing pole in there they're gonna give me a ticket whatever was it I don't know take a look call CSI fucking Minneapolis what do I give a fuck so I had to go outside let me tell you something I rolled the joint skinny so I wouldn't be outside long it'd be quick okay it was so cold out that when my legs touched the jeans whoa that's the worst game it was fucking cold that that was Thursday morning it was fucking freezing I think Friday morning it warmed up but Lee I gotta tell you the hotel that rather than fucking professional joint the bartender Anthony the fucking food the

soup the chicken wow mushroom rice soup fucking out of this world the chicken vegetable you know you're in the Midwest and again you taste the fucking eggs and you could taste the fucking heart of the chicken in the yolk yeah you know when the egg whites stick like shit they smell you could smell the egg whites that's how strong they fucking are fuck those egg whites from subway and McDonald's people those fucking communist chicken egg whites that's cancer that shit McDonald's is giving you that's fucking cancer in your fucking throat you got a lump and somebody's gonna stab you with a fucking bone stop it Joey it's Monday what the fuck so seriously though that food up there they have a salad a flat salad with uh

like three or four little pieces of this meat you know I don't know what they call this London bro where I come from okay Jesus Christ Lee Jesus fucking Christ Jesus you taste this meat you chew you could take you know I'm saying just fucking to me yeah it's a fat dude's paradise and the women are banging up there women are fucking from I'm telling you I was never more impressed with this fucking mall and the family vibe I walked Lee I fucking walk you walk up another mall I walked every floor every day I looked around I'd seen what I could you know dig witness shit they got everything in there now what would you have done 20 years ago in your in the robbery days I wouldn't even have gone in that hotel waking up from fucking cocaine really you wouldn't have case you

wouldn't have case the whole join over the whole weekend I'm doing comedy those malls you can't rob those malls really okay that's four floors that's four floors there okay that's no I thought you were gonna say oh I would walk out of there with $10,000 no you could go into the remember things have changed in 20 fucking years the cameras something always haunts me 1985 I walk into a mall every day and I walk around and I keep seeing that the people in this one particular store a 30 feet in the back talking amongst themselves and in the front there was the beginning of CDs okay could have been CDs or DVDs it was to be probably CDs it was the very beginning of them and every day I walked by and I saw the CD and I saw the plug and I saw the box

Lee every fucking day and one day I woke up at seven in the fucking morning a cold sweat I wasn't doing blow and I go I'm gonna go down to that mall today and just out of principle I'm gonna go steal that fucking whatever the fuck it is lead you know I went down there walked into that mall at 20 afternoon I walked up they were by the counter back there they even see me Lee I unplugged the thing I wrapped it a fucking thing I put the thing in the box Lee I had cash in my pocket so what I did was I picked it up and I walked to the side and laid it down and walked back like I was looking at something and I weighed my weight to make sure no security side I picked up the box and looked out like I am the fucking joint they look like a regular guy they just paid for a

fucking box who's gonna stop you yeah and I remember walking past there for years ago and I wonder what the fuck they thought because guess what those guys put something else out there and they were still standing in the fucking back so I never understood I never fucking understood security you can't do that today today that tape goes right to mall security mall security calls the police they got your camera walking in they got the camera outside that seeks your car oh yeah probably they got the camera two blocks away that's watching what direction you walk in so those days are over with those especially there you got four floors elevators kids people waiting it's like you got a easy thing it's like you're gonna walk in and out and get the fuck out of this that's

smaller destruction you try to hold up one of those stores you're a fucking loser even if you tell them don't touch nothing for an hour by the time they hit the buzz you're still coming out of the fucking drivers it's amazing now when you think of like let's say it was back then would you think about okay let's get a store within the first five stores of the mall the door and like you wouldn't think about that yeah I'm with you I'm thinking all right I'm close to the door yeah there's nothing you can do at those places oh not now I'm saying back like when you were doing it oh yeah you could probably do it but you know it all you had to see it you have to see it make sure you have this fucking case it you got to go in there and buy shit you just can't

walk around like creepy Lou no I uh I went to my little shoplifting phase you got to figure out that they don't know they can't figure out somebody suspicious has been going in there money business this has been like yeah some little fucking chubby Jew guy in a cuban dude come in there every afternoon and ask questions about microphones you know it's shit like that shit like that you know they look at the tapes I was always more into the safest shit that even if I got caught I didn't get caught what do you mean I read this book by Zachary from a swan called snow blind it was on the biggest books I ever read in my life I read it like in 1985 okay and it was about a drug dealer who uh perfected smuggling by smuggling but not

really like you get a teddy bear and throw it in the plane and the kid would pick it up and fly over and then before he leave you go thank you for the teddy bear to get off the plane just this brilliant shit and then I followed up I read on them I remember when I moved to bold I went to a library and I was intrigued by this guy there was no internet yeah there was no internet you got to go fucking go on this dewy card catalog and put this these little cards in this thing and scan like old newspaper articles from his busts like that's how crazy that's how much time I had in those days but that's how much law I liked you know how I always talked to you about your girlfriend and law yeah that's when I was intrigued by law by reading all those type of fucking okay dumb things you

know just so you know I didn't know fuck what's up me what the fuck I give you green hornet the green hornets are fine look at you you're looking good you got a green shirt on where's the music you didn't put no music on what the fuck it's it's Monday night like the candle get up cocksucker cut your toenails let's do this today put some honor in your fucking life get a hemp protein shake cut your toenails manicure your fingers cut your fucking eyebrows hit it Lee what you got the pieces oh shit oh shit somebody breaks you're Lisa yeah boom boom aka somebody I forgot oh shit not mo green what's the other guy that god for oh my god he said this week I died

somebody who who's the jew and godfather too I don't know how the fuck don't you know this get ruck ramus on the phone no no go online and look at the jew man god i'm gonna google jew godfather too yeah let's see what happens hymen roth that's you aka hymen roth and shit the flying jew you're hymen roth of podcasting forget about it i love it you gotta go to israel you're gonna try to give them a meal to fucking smuggle you and the fucking wife in we're gonna tell you to fuck you you're gonna go to panama hall from two mil then they're gonna catch you at the airport with 300 mil you know what i'm saying where you gotta go oh you gotta go where you gotta do where you gotta do your money cocksucker

i would just i would go to like kansas if i had 300 million dollars and do what not talk to anybody just have everything i want have like a little chef there a chef fuck yeah a cheque or guy well what's your fantasy look chef it doesn't matter uh paul is paul is mom i would just have part of that you got like a like a aka slash bodyguard masseuse driver like bruce lee like you don't need one in kansas you never know what happens if somebody comes out of the bushes you got 200 million of you fucking bet you need that aggravation you pay a month's rent you put them in the back you give them three guns and a fucking bulletproof vest in the helmet he's giving him a refrigerator and he just let him loose and he let him fucking loot

he's like fucking vietnam all over him right now paul's older brother is taking me to the gun range to shoot 50 caliber pistols apparently that's over a meeting oh jesus christ lee so i might be dead in a few weeks you better start doing some push-ups that's 50 caliber you're gonna fly through the fucking air really sure you better start doing some push-ups you better get jeremy on the phone jeremy missville you better get him on the phone i did i tried to call him back cox i ate so much today that i called the trainer on the way home park to bust out the fucking heart of me i called 20 i'm joining 24 fitness and start some aspirin regime for your heart okay like get the baby aspirin to to pop like one of them walking around the

corner just to get your heart going stretch out your fingers get blood going to your fingers don't let jeremy get a hold here make you do some jumping jacks and some some inky jacks fucking some stretching most the last time you stretched high school i don't know wrestling wrestling practice yeah that's the wrestling practice do you see how i gotta deal with people you haven't stretched since wrestling practice in high school probably i mean i've done the stretches and bed and stuff but in bed yeah what type of stretches do you do when you wake up that's it yeah oh jesus christ he better start with an aspirin regime and just you know get up in the morning like that like a circle like the 4th of july and start with that cox like anyway

many apples are very nice i was very impressly i was very fucking impressed last time you went to yeah no no no you know what i like about many apples also the people the people are very fucking warm some guy gave me some lollipops fucking cool motherfucker you know another dude gave me some rice crispy treats i put me over the top the food was tremendous the people really cool the problem was the shows there were too many people the last time i was there i was going to the parking lot and sparking up with the people so when i left they complained to the club really yeah if i come back i can't go on between so there was too many people there so in between shows i really couldn't go out that's it so i couldn't go out to the second show towards the end

and they fucked me up because you know me i want to talk to these poor fucking people they come out in the snow and shit yeah but that jesus christly oh it's germany look at you is it germany his ears are burning yeah see look you know he heard you on the fucking podcast you see what happens it goes down tonight fucking by my next sunday league you'll be doing jumping jacks and lifting weights and climbing fucking walls like i actually like rock climbing you should shave your head you know i'm a straggler it's got a gun fuck it you get a piece lee what the fuck i don't know represent israel got a picture israel alone the president israel in the barrel the whole fucking thing keep yourself a yamaha that holds bullets like a spin at and you're spinning around the bullets

pop out you catch it and fill the fucking gun forget about it you'll be your own type of fucking jew i think in 20 years you're gonna have like a yamaha line you're just gonna have a bad i love them i love them i just need something i need a real fucking jew to step up and go look i got a half a meal coming out of israel let's do this coming out of israel sure it's coming out of deep pockets in israel this is the this is the money they stole from the romans this shit this money really got blood on it this is good money i love you like your history lesson there the romans who took over is i love it i don't know i'm just dropping knowledge it's sunday night if you take whatever the fuck i'm saying for granted go shoot yourself i don't know did the romans take over israel

yeah they were they were they took over as well i mean thousands of years ago but yeah that's how see i remember certain fucking just came just comes out Jesus that's what fucking burns me up alive man see why because that's what i i deeper here eat one of these fucking things like i just ate one what is this this has got to taste this thing this is a gluten free chocolate presentation oh boy jerry rosa if you're here listen to this now i might not answer the door tomorrow how should i learn spanish how do i learn spanish if you want to teach somebody spanish for you

20 50 now i'm asking the price because you're going through with mercy now it's a little bit different because she's a baby right they absorb everything and they make a decision how they want to come back or you let him you got to talk it that's my easiest thing with that listen anything you want to do you could sit there and i mean yes if you want to speed up your acceleration of learning of the language you get a notebook and you take notes and you start with the alphabet you know that's it but mainly you talk it you you go to somebody you go do me a favor from now on every time you see me hit me with spanish it's amazing how i understand the topic of conversation jesus christ um i understand the topic of conversations now but you can't i would never

know how to talk it well just you don't start watching spanish television for an hour a day okay and watch just listen listening listening is everything that's why they gave us fucking ears we just don't want to use it listening it's fucking beautiful so you listen you listen you listen and it's fucking hard i mean i've sat there and thought about learning something like japanese at this age i don't have the time because i know what effort it takes to accelerate i think you'd be good at it because you like how important is it for you to know spanish is it big yes what like what has it done for you it's kept me sharp in a lot of ways it's made me think my spanish is horrible but it's still alive and that's all that matters it's all right it comes out a certain way

it comes out when i need it to come out do you understand me my spanish is still fucking good but i don't talk like i used to with the people i used to that's been 30 fucking years ago since the people i grew up with that talk that way i talk a very street cube in spanish a very slang my uncle speaks it yeah a couple of us speaking that's what paul said paul and her mom watched you on the show and then and she was like oh he's he all he all she ever every time i every time paul brings you up she goes konyo konyo yeah no no no we fucking it's terrible it's horrendously bad our spanish it's mixed with a new york accent which really drops it on you so it's just listen man i think that if you are in a home and one of your parents speaks a different language

i think you should torture them a little bit to learn why you have them i would they'd be happy they'd be very happy to teach you two words a week a fucking recipe a certain recipe you like in spanish there's always a good fucking thing just in case you know you fuck on desert island at least you know how to make a burrito you can ask for whatever you know what i'm saying i mean there's so many different ways to learn a language if you really want to learn that language but you have to commit a big window i'm telling you that a great way of jujitsu it's great to go to an accelerator program from the teacher how to do an armbar but the best way to learn jujitsu which i don't really have the time to fully is to go down there four times a week and get beat up four

times a week you know and then after six months you're gonna start getting beat up three nights a week and then after a year you're gonna start getting beat up two nights a week but now you're winning two nights a week yeah and then it becomes something and now there you are you know and that's what anything that's what fucking anything i've seen it with the acting and stupid shit i've seen it with stupid shit i sit there on the guys i sit there on a fucking set sometimes i look who's in a movie and i sit there and i go who the fuck am i to be here i'm the fuck i know people who go into new york and study with johnny bananas and got a degree in acting and they're fucking in la at some fucking starbucks with three other fucking guys talking about putting a movie together and

getting funding yeah and here's a mook like me on the set you know i'm saying because i just went out there and tackled that i sat i wanted to do this why live in los angeles if you're not gonna get this a try nobody's gonna give me a hosting job look at my face you mean a tv hosting job yeah you wouldn't want to host a game but let's pretend no what what would you give me the host a horror show uh history people who got stabbed no i think you could be i think fx or hbo you could let it go let it go anyway i just felt that if you're here i'm part of the union as you get some insurance as you get a little pension out of this fucking deal and that's why i act and if somebody throws me a little something from time to time and i earn a few from time to time bang i'll put

something the fucking together yeah i mean somebody threw me something it's january i already got something out of the way for the year bang everything else and i was gravy the first one's in a way that's the first new break i know i could pop something pilot season's coming i know i'll pop something in march to shoot for a week or two okay you know that's my attitude and boom it's over now you got something to live for until june now jr taylor's show gets picked up or you go suck dick again for fucking another year that's it that's it this is the same shit though but at least you're alive yeah you know i'm saying do you follow my philosophy your life what are you gonna do at home go home go to the bar and tell your friends yeah it sucks out there they're a bunch of fucking fags

no they're out here fucking yoking and doking this is just a different fucking yoking doking it's a little tough now because half the business went to new melines so a little one that's here you gotta fucking jump in it when they give you a little something yeah you know what the fuck it's monday night stop coughing cock suck on me no more reefer for you look at you oh man jeez and you're lucky you want to smoke some hash i'm so high listen i got the shit i had to smoke this with a hen do his fucking duck pop fucking boy it was sweating i got some good ass dog i couldn't even smoke in the house no more it was strong it was tremendously strong one night i got up in the middle of the night and i went out front i smoked the next day i could smell in

the living room oh my god it creeped under the fucking door from the outside that's how strong it was like a fucking hash spirit no matter what you think i'm fucked up um how can you be fucked up how can i be fucked up if you want to hit a reefer two hits maybe i didn't even see the smoke in my house it wasn't the reefer it wasn't the fucking edible what edible the green hornet all right i'm watching you you want another piece of chocolate no thank you was it delicious yeah it was good gluten-free i wasn't it was an edible too or just go just a cookie i can't i'm not sure it was an edible but i like crunchy cookies that's my jam that's your jam oh yeah so what do you want to do with

jeremy talk to me what are your plans uh what i'd like what i'd really like to do i mean i don't i've never talked to him but i mean you said you wanted to do youtube videos i think it'd be great to do youtube videos and then uh not not that oh we have a call come in i'll insert that way oh shit oh shit it's sal genoa what's going on joey you know me over here on a sunday night with the flying june aka hyman rod jr it's out what's going on how you doing brother fantastic you know i'm gonna call him you know we got that girlfriend right so i might be able to give him some help today well what's going on he's got a new girlfriend now he's right so he might need some tips for me

because i'm a professional he don't need no fucking tips from me he's doing i'll take the tips go leave me alone leaves the fucking soldier he's doing i have a notepad i'll take all the tips i can get he won't listen i've seen a lot she still won't let him fart in his face right he still won't take that listen if fucking the hottest chicken in the world came out here right now i'm gonna fart in Lee's eyeball he would melt he wouldn't do it so that's never gonna happen there's nothing you could do so so you work with porn girls there's like eight porn girls in the world who even think about fart sal genoa how fast can you make a phone call and have a chick fart in Lee's eyeball with his mouth open uh honestly honestly probably it's like a minute uh there's what i'm saying

we started off at such a good point south that we were friends we are everybody's friendly everybody's trying to help out i heard a third party validated joey i heard him say he wanted to do with that day we had coffee i remember that no he was down a hundred i mean i mean i'm in at this point because it's been a year and a half but every every time joey brings up all the girls hide in the show well they'll hide under the table would you take it on the mount or in the eyeball what would be the best i'd rather the eyeball all right see at least we got a taste at least we got a commitment here do you want to know i could line some people up i know we can't we got a we gotta line up but i want to do a pay-per-view you know the whole thing people get stabbed

some chick bleeding the whole fucking deal and then you just gonna fart as a heart you believe yeah like a band the whole fucking deal and then boom lisa sat sits down remember the 70s the guy from master's grade garden at the end of the wild world of sports he he gets shot in the mount he gets shot and he caught the fucking bullet with his teeth through the glass go on youtube that was when we were kids we we saw him first he he came up on the scene like maybe 1970 at matters of square garden me and like three other dudes seen him we thought it was bullshit i went home told my mother she's like fuck that dude that was bullshit because at the end he would spit the bullet out on a frying pan he would catch the bullet right out of the air with a metal mouthpiece

and he would put a glass in front of him and some guy would shoot him with a 22 then years later then years later he went on wild world to sports and everybody froze i really know that shit was old news but that's the effect i totally like it starts off with like you know like uh like pearl jam and all this shit and then lisa at brown location here in a dark room in fucking israel you know and then they show the chick doing jumping jacks eating fucking rice crispies you know we talk about her menu how she hasn't shit she's been living on cream and cheese and cheetos you know who the girl is or do you want to surprise them please don't know let's surprise them let's give them two choices let's give them a really hot one and let's

give them one that's just banging but she's like six with three two eighty you know what i'm saying okay no i i i can pull that out that's easy i don't even want to see her face i can't even look her in the eyes yes you can that'd be the most what the fuck but we listen you're gonna make 50 g's first shot in who's better than you i'll be spending 49.5 on on who's fucking better than you what therapy what are you gonna tell the therapy that somebody's farted in your eye what the fuck a cuberman with a girl farted my right no lee listen look at the Kardashians making millions on sucking up a dick hey you know what i'll do joey uh i'm the poor director podcast what i'll do is i'll start asking the girls that are guests if they would like if they would like to do it and

i'll make it happen through the podcast and we'll do it like a christmas show like the fourth of july extravaganza we'll give her like flat i'll have every guest that comes on the four director podcast i'll ask her if she would be interested in doing this i'll have a picture a frame picture the lee up there and uh we'll go from there tv you know i love just the thing is listen every tuesday i go to acupuncture and it's part of it to get healthy for my circulation but the other part is for my fear of needles and i've gotten really good with the needles the last two years lee has a fear of asshole i do and i want him to get over this feeling it's nothing yeah he takes it personal he's never really gotten in there with his fucking mancoy and sniffed it like just

fucking and hell you can smell the gunpowder you know today i'm the plane i was sitting there right and i could smell some of these asshole that's how good i am i kept sitting there and it got in one of my nostrils even on the drive home i could smell that asshole my fucking nostrils that's uh wow that's a that's a rare fucking so talk to me south general what's been going on in your life well the last few films you've been fucking involved with hit me all right well i always like to keep you posted uh i just finished up piece from the middle east which one uh piece from the middle east all right ece that's from combat zone uh that was that was that but i just finished body cheerleaders number four i'm editing that as we speak that's for combat zone as well i'm

just a porn director podcast so the world is uh treating me well i got a job i love going to i like looking at assholes unlikely and uh it's been it's been good the podcast has taken off really well nothing happy on that one day did you have did you have the guys sticking in some hummus before i eat the girl sucked it because joey i think i think joey would have a heart attack please if you didn't do it please go shoot it i'll i'll pay for the shooting why don't you just try it forget about it i want you to for peace in the middle east i want you to have the guy stick his thing in in some hummus and have the girl suck it off that's not a bad idea dog that's fucking brilliant if you didn't do that you're slipping no i i didn't i even it was a great movie

though i go all middle eastern girls they were all awesome um shot it out in the hills that kind of mimics the middle east if i was a budget budget didn't allow us to go there but if i was a porn director on peace in the middle east i would fucking lead it up to the end some fucking chick takes one of those fucking chicks by machine gun smacks her around a little bit sits it down then he like he handcuffs her and also he starts giving her like uh like nacho chips those fucking arab nacho chips right he starts getting those hummus chips forever then he gives her hummus and then she gives him like a look she takes her turban off and she takes his she takes his pants and rips him off rips that arabian asshole apart puts his leg up like like a happy baby for a man

and packs his asshole in his back of his ball sack with that hummus and just eats it like a fucking like a chick i'm telling you that's how i would end peace in the middle east with an asshole hummus and then here it is after she sucks this hummus out of his asshole she makes out with him and she shoots a look i'm down for a co-director credit if you want if you want a new piece for the middle east number two no no no no come on i'll just email you the ideas listen i'll just email you the ideas all right all right i'm looking at you know if you want to step up and uh from the age of from the age of 18 to maybe 26 you could involve me in one of those shoots maybe in the at night when i was coked up when i go in the corner and whack off that's how crazy i was in

those days but now at this point i would just have a heart attack around the sets uh so general i would never do that to you if i saw something new i'm all about it you want to you want to give you all the ideas i will tell you how bad i am so general i have friends are in the porn industry and i will not watch their stuff oh just so i never have to go there with them when i see them again i don't have to feel fucking bad in case i have to see them again i just leave it like that i don't know who is what i don't even know them if they bump into me right i wouldn't know them great ideas i'm going to use all those ideas and one day somebody can people have come up to me and said hi i've done red bands podcast and i've heard your name i just want to say and i can't believe

they're really porn girls yeah it's hard to believe sometimes it really is i'll go home and call red band and go red band your friend he goes yeah that girl does anal with beads in her ass and and i go what the fuck she was there with a kid oh yeah she's got like nine kids but she was the president of pta but on the weekend she shoots porn in arabia and they put galoshes in her fucking face no you know listen yeah okay now i see i see it all i've been doing this 10 years now and i see you know you're like how you're just too beautiful for porn but you know it's the money's great and if you have a sexual ally you're comfortable with your sexuality it's a good day it doesn't work hey listen i'm like vido call me on it i don't give a fuck what you

a man does for a living as long as you're fucking put food in the table nobody could judge you i don't give a fuck it's a business listen if i'm fucking 19 what are my options as a hot chick i could get fucked in the ass by a fake producer some arab that's gonna give you fucking chlamydia and take you to some island and sell you to your friends or you could work at a hamburger joint and make 600 a week if you're lucky or a hostess chick and date some fucking guy and that's your savior or you go you know what what am i gonna do i got no family i ain't gonna embarrass nobody i'll move to studio city drink coffee up in the fucking ventura and suck dick on whatever and make uh three thousand four thousand a week for fucking three years while they're hot

they could take that money you know gain 20 pounds and buy a fucking farm and nobody knows who the fuck they are every every three years somebody'll go i think you remind me of somebody and that's it right right i hear those i hear those stories all the time yeah it's true though yeah they'll uh you got nothing going on you're hot you're gonna get abused anyway at those ages from 21 to 25 a woman out here gets pissed on lied to fakes you gotta suck casting director dick you're gonna suck a thousand dicks anyway you might as well get paid a thousand a dick you might as well get paid a thousand a dick by some good mouthwash and go see a doctor and fucking seriously i mean i'm not only a dog i would never ever but i'm saying what the fuck

you know what i did things i didn't want to fucking do genoa growing up and i did things that fucking play i look at myself remember like giggle but it's not right it's not fucking right it's not right and you know what i had i had a way to fucking make it out of there but i saw the easy way but i also saw how easier it could have got for me and right now we wouldn't be having this conversation correct with the right guidance a white chick with a good head on the shoulders that wants to suck dick and go to the gym and get her shots and maybe not have a boyfriend on the side so there's no drama and just make money nothing wrong with that bro and you guys sometimes what are your fucking options you're gonna get abused anyway 50 percent you're gonna get cheated

on the brother he's gonna steal your car and ruin your credit there's always drama yeah i've seen a lot of that as well so you know and how can a girl cheat on you if it's your girlfriend she does it every day at work right why would she do it i thought it worked you know it's a beautiful thing well the smart ones the smart ones know but look a bro 10 years ago we thought jenna jamison was a genius right 10 years ago the big thing on this i remember seeing her in tampi arizona walking around people fucking throwing roses on her feet she just got eight million dollars from some company then two weeks ago i see her on facebook her face looks like i got hit with a sledgehammer she doesn't know what room she's in which is a fucking shame i'm not making fun of me but

you know what at the end there's always a fucking price to pay yeah at the end dog listen you know what you want to fuck around you're gonna pay the fucking pipe or somewhere along the line and the devil's standing right there giggling yeah a lot of you multi-million dollar companies aren't around anymore because of the internet and i see a lot of my old bosses just that's it they downsize the next nothing they're not doing anything anymore like you said you gotta there's a price to pay with no matter what you do so you know these guys aren't it's not the business it's sad sometimes i'm like man there was a heyday where we're all having fun but now we're just the money's not there as much because the internet so we're just we're creating fun stuff and like to make fun things and have a

good friend and that's about it no one's really getting too crazy rich anymore no you gotta tell people it's like a sag low budget look here's the deal you're gonna suck back for a hundred a day you might have to take it in the ass we might be able to get you over time maybe a ride to and throw your house all right in case you get too fucked up we'll come up with a gbo a coke i don't know how good it's gonna be you come over to my friend's apartment you blow this guy this guy and you will look at the end whatever we make you make that's basically what it's gonna go down to again we make a hundred thousand on youtube we give you fucking eight percent of whatever it is every uh every quarter or something like that and you have to do 10 of those just to get your fucking

income going every month who knows who knows where it's gonna go you get it you see you see the world in a beautiful place joey i love it you have a great outlook on everything well you gotta uh listen man if things are gonna change why stop doing it you have to change and look at your profit margins and make your profit margins adjusted and there's there's always market on the internet for everything you know it's bigger than television it's bigger than television you don't need a lot of fucking money uh sal janoa you don't need a lot of money you buy yourself that thing from go daddy dot com sucking dick on fire dot com and every week you put a new fucking video on there right and now remember 10 years ago you had to get the video and copyright no no no no no no

you're gonna shoot the videos in the house and again what do you need you got an office in the valley for 700 a month you get some good fucking shades you got a camera a couch some curtains and a picture in new york city that switches around next week it's new next week it's paris france the week after that it's fucking venice beach you know what i'm saying right and you get the chicken there and that's it it's all in house so of course shoot 1200 to shoot the fucking movie if that if that with the editing you give the chicken nickel and tell her the same thing you put it on the internet and then you you go on google and you i don't know people buy those first search engines don't you where you google something and your name comes up first yeah you buy all that

shit and now you got facebook and you know it's amazing what you could do from the privacy of you're on home now if you have commitment and you're willing to sit there and go this ain't gonna fail it's close to me it'll be easy for me to do this now with us you know i'm saying because i'm booking him next movie so well i mean it's crazy i i've never been to a set but i would imagine back in the in the 90s and early 2000s you probably had a big cruise now and and then the biggest stuff now the biggest stuff now is a guy with a video camera he's the he's the he's the crew he just gets to get his dick sucked in i mean that sounds like a great job to me i don't know absolutely i don't i don't know if that's weird you're coming down my next one way you're more

than welcome i'm inviting you now publicly to come down you're invited uh and yeah i started in 99 and i used to have lighting crew catering tv's um now i have nothing i do now you got a protein shake and a handshake bitch that's it enjoy that fucking protein it's got glue to core in it that'll make the muscles in your mouth tight so science anyway so what did you do before this cell because you said you've been doing this for 10 years yeah so like were you in like regular tv stuff personal training okay and i met a guy um first the training said please come down and watch what i do and i said i can't believe you do this this is awesome that a girl said on my last name is cassidy she's still around she's a big girl she starts like rubbing me i'm like this is awesome

he said we'll check it out tomorrow show up you can be production assistant you can hand out baby wipes uh no or whatever i'm like this is great i will pay you $100 a day i'm like this is awesome so i did that for a while i'm a bit of a vivid which is great you get all the vivid contract girl that was fun um and then i got a behind the scenes camera job which is cool that used to be another job and learned how to use the camera and shoot all the funny interviews and then one day they're like look i'm jumping in the scene this girl's hips are big i want to bang her you got to shoot the scene i'm like okay so i have remembered from sitting and editing what it was like so i just shot and that was it and then from there on i'm on my 75th movie now movie title so i got 75 movies

to my name which is pretty cool that's great and uh how many movies 75 i'm fucking south general represent my part of jersey the shore my friend god damn it look at them break township you bad motherfucker let me tell you something just just to tell you motherfucker something that i never dropped on the church or what's happening now or nothing because you just refreshed my memory one of my first jobs in this town when i lived with Doug Stano for four days was on the vivid warehouse on highland on highland this is 1997 on highland where the hotel is now where that loop is there that used to be a disgusting building that was in my old agent first was but across the street there vivid was back there and you've got a desk you got a desk with a bunch of fucking phone numbers

of porn joints all across the country you just call them and go hi this is pete patello from fucking uh vivid i'm running a special i'm fucking jerk off movies free shipping and they give me like 80 bucks a day cash they get i won the contest twice but it was just too disgusting for me it was just it was just it was you got a 97 now because i started there in 99 that's so funny i just missed there you go there you go that's some fucking old school for you motherfuckers thanks to south genoa bringing me back it's like i don't know it's like anyway don't worry so like what do you like what do you think about that sell like it when i when i first came out here i was broke i thought about about um editing porn on the side and i had someone come up to me and say listen even

if you don't put it on your resume they'll find it and that's a career killer like what do you like what do you say i mean because in theory it would be like a great way to learn the industry rather than go to film school working porn for four years and then just don't tell anybody yeah yeah uh it's it's a it's a weird thing mainstream sometimes they they get mad but i mean look at sasha gray um she's crossed over you look at james dean he's crossed over it's okay now it's way more acceptable than it was 14 years ago um because if you're legitimately good i mean sasha gray's the siderbird movie you don't just do that if you're some hack porn chick so obviously she has some talent and now i think they're less lenient but i know they still frown upon it

but what about what about what about from your side what about on the production side like if you wanted to go and say listen i've shot 75 pornos i want to direct i want to direct a commercial like well and gregory dark who's a great friend of mine he went from porno to doing the brady spears music video linkin park ice cube um sublime and they didn't care then an interview came out uh in esquire magazine i believe and they said oh he's a different adult and he got fired off the job so he tried to cross over and had some problems too now i think it's not so bad um i do need the video too the people i do and four are they're cool with it he's just finding the right people and you know it's you're either going to run into a problem or you'll be okay so

i mean looking card dark he had such an illustrious music video career and he was you know he was an old school porn guy in the hall of fame so either way he i just finished a music video and they loved it now that's kind of funny he's cool it's the personality he doesn't mean i do it i'm a typically flying ball and i'm professional you know i mean so you find a good group and you know you'll be okay but yeah i don't know man i don't know if it's because i'm a video nerd or what but if the porn video quality isn't good or if the sound guy messed up i'll stop watching it there's because there's so much to watch now you won't jerk off the bad video if the pussy's fuzzy stop it you'll fucking beat that little you dick to death no if it's if it's because i don't like it

if the camera guy's shaking i don't like that you don't like i like that fucking look like i like that look like it's real i don't want that look like it's fake and she's sucking the dick and she's sucking the dick correctly no but there's when you get your dick stuck in the bathroom she don't take no she rips your fucking pants though she doesn't wash your dick she just sniffs that helmet and pops it and then you pull it out you know what i'm saying i want that effect i'm on pov i don't mind i like amateur stuff too but it's like when it's in one amateur stuff yeah the worst the worst little motherfucker the worst though you know where i went this week we went to a sex store last night or two nights ago jesus christ lee i don't want to talk well why don't you call me i get you whatever

you need i got i got an access of uh i'm going to suffer and it's good quality professionally shot i can guarantee you i don't know what you're watching from seven meters oh no don't encourage him please we don't fucking encourage him we got toys we didn't get we didn't buy the league knock it off with that shit can you believe this you're coming down joey coming down 25 years old she turned them out and shit yeah she turned them i'm gonna make you a star you're still like a finger in your ass lee oh i would pass out no you still won't take a finger in the ass i want i don't want to go the sniff behind there no not the sniff just to lick your ball sack and machine gun your muffler no thank you that's the worst possible no and she takes you with her

tongue and she's whacking your dick off she's just machine guns your little muffler and she just goes oh my god it's a party right there you got a couple lines like oh my god you got a couple lines of cocaine your dick just explodes it just explodes like a dairy queen and she licks that fucking you you juice right off right off her hand and your leg oh it's a fucking party and you just lay this how do you do that with someone you see later so they don't have to leave the house i close my eyes yeah you pass out for an hour and you wake up and give them a stab before they wake up no you can't ever look at them again listen they ain't going nowhere you got the bag of coke under the bed you got the bag of coke under your pillow you ain't going nowhere they'll lay right next to

you can you never imagine kissing somebody after they lick my asshole why not that's the whole patois love they just drank champagne i'm almost ready to budget a film called machine gun and mufflers i like that i'm telling you and lisa yada's the spokesman he comes off versus how you're doing do you suffer from anal cavities come down to my office try to find you machine gun and mufflers machine gun i'm telling you dog listen i could fucking make you a millionaire in three fucking months because unlike lee there's a thousand guys out there that for three four hours they'll fucking whack off four dollars they'll whack and what you do is pawn all the month club just like dollar shave club you sign them up for six dollars a month and you send them 19 videos

and they whack off and they vote you send them t-shirts and they can spend a month with some chick in their mind and you send some fat chick that looks like me you know i'm saying you there's always a fucking curveball in those contests your cousin went mysteriously in rome in rome right south jennah won the fucking house as a as a guy who likes porn are those casting couch ones where they say oh i met this girl on the phone and she's coming over and there's i saw i told her there's a porno job but there's no job there's no way that's legal right well no everything's legal sir we wouldn't pick up the camera and turn it on uh everybody signs a model early um get to do your id photos get to do video disclaimers that's what i'm saying so so it's legal but it's not

really a girl off the street it's a girl who wanted to do porn i don't want to ruin your fantasy lee i'll let you think what you want to think but i'll let everyone in the world know that everything we do is legal you can't vote it's it's regulations but you live out your fantasy service and realize she's off the street okay listen lee had a girl that lived on his couch for three months and that was the perfect freak he should have said oh wow like a spy they should have put like four cameras in his living room and then give her some wine he should have gave her like a half a valium and it's just gonna pass that like three in the morning he would have creeped out they would have robe on and laid on the floor and just massaged her ass then spanked a few times then lift the little

thing up and then you would have massaged her ass when the camera automatically comes on from there you just go to work you fucking get him like a you get him like a behind behind the hip escape and you lick that oh forget it you can make your own videos that she wake up in the morning forget him tell he didn't know he didn't know what if you could have been a millionaire right now she could have fought in your face while she was sleeping nobody's ever done that wow experience what what do you want to watch you want to come down for some girl girl boy girl what do you want to watch i don't know i mean that i can't even imagine what that experience would be like now because she would kill me but even before that i've seen so much of it i used to get star

struck i get like i i don't know how i'd say hi to a girl that i've seen do oh my god i can't i can't even imagine wow what's your favorite all time of porn yeah porn stars like what do you mean well who do you like what girls do you like watching the most i like that giana girl she's a little chubby right yeah she's a little chubby with big big tits yeah i like her yeah yeah i shot her alone that time ago like probably eight or nine years ago she's still around right i think i mean i don't know how that's the thing with the free websites you never know how old or new they are but yeah south general dropping names it's right no i i really i'd like to rehire her again for you to make it an epic day for you oh jesus christ i can't she's she's scary

she like attacks them and it's uh like i i don't know they have all those videos of porn stars going out in cars and picking up random dudes you want to do it oh god no i'll bring you to get tested and everything would you do that leah if a chick picked you up you're walking to your car and three chicks came out with a gun and turned you get in the fucking car i don't know what's in there and they made you fart and a finger you suck you fucking dry right there around it sounds great but i don't know and all the videos that all the guys can't get it up and at the end and here it is at the end yeah i just throw you out of the car naked that's what they do yeah and you gotta make it with nothing not a dime not a shoe no keys jesus christ that i mean i don't know you gotta

walk back into your building naked over here you know the keys i think 2014 is your yearly i think you step up you make a nice adult movie you know the podcast is successful for you i think this is your breakout year don't you think joey looking about there and uh show them the world that house these days and all the time with the girl took all that food i can't take them i can't encourage the pornography though that shit ruined me when i was younger that's why i don't do that shit no more i stopped i still watch it that's just i could never i could never imagine going on a porn set i'm way too shy i'm way too shy i don't know i went to peep shows when i was young and listen that's that's a documentary we gotta shoot south general we gotta go to new york

and shoot and i'll take you to all those little peep shows that were public they're still there probably wow that's great where you'd walk in there and there'd be people fucking and people paying a dollar a minute and then you see them coming out of there walking funny and a janitor and the janitor would go in and lick up the fucking cum with the bucket then he'd come out ruined all that well what a great time that was i think when you're 15 you go in there with a fucking roll of quarters you're in heaven you save up all week to go that fucking hell it smells like hell i could still i can't still smell it but in my mind every time i think about going in there and the color that it was it wasn't dark it was like a dark orange right the the air in there it was

just a disgusting place as a kid and just the thought that they allowed you in there they didn't give a fuck you were walking around there with perverts and child molesters we'd go in there and backs from new jersey we'd take a bus over the fucking tunnel i was i was with you i did the same thing oh my god oh my god you take a tunnel in there and then walk around and we fucking argue with the fucking three card monty guys it was just a it was a fucking glorious time and there when you're in there looking at you like what the fuck are you looking at i'm busy in here you know what i mean i'm in one night for some reason a couple of my buddies were like now we're gonna go watch a porn theater out there like we only in summer on a sunday night in the middle of the winter

these fucking jackals they were good friends of mine and they picked me up and they're like so what do you want to do you go to john mary's you come with us we'll be up at john mary's about 11 and we'll meet you then i go nah i'll go with you i thought they were like putting me on my friends were always into going somewhere then when we got there they go you don't really want to go in there now fuck let's go to john mary's it was a lot more fun be us being in our neighborhood well there's one time we go out to this movie theater on a sunday night and we go in there and we sit not together like spread out and it's a thousand perverts it's like the happy hour night and i remember going to get popcorn then it came to me like when i went to pee i went to pee there was two times in

my life where i went to the bathroom twice and the same guy was pissing next to me at the stall and he wasn't in there at first it's when you take your dick out and go to piss he just popped out like a film character and he'd be lurking over your fucking shoulder one time in the san francisco airport and one time fucking at that fucking house of hara pono on sunday night in middle of new georgia i swear to god uh and i remember we went home and i'm like that was the most disgusting fucking thing at that time i felt humiliated as a man like i was like i'm done i'm fucking done it's disgust those shit wow i can't imagine i mean i i love porn and i've never been to a theater to watch porn and you don't need it now it's just i don't know have you ever been to a

movie theater to watch porn no and the afternoon you know they said at the sex store near my house they still have the little booze you can go and play the dvds there i don't i mean it's just it's crazy now how even the big porn companies now own the free sites so at least they can add money on it yeah oh yeah it's bad i would love that but my dream would be to be in a theater i mean that would be amazing see whatever happens in the crowd to refract whatever but to see it up on a big screen i would i would love that and i only know one place now that does that in west hollywood but it's not mine i don't shoot those movies so i can't imagine masturbating in front of like 30 other guys in a movie theater i can't imagine sitting there for decades decades people used to

do that they wear the raincoats and go in there i can't imagine sitting there and not masturbate like at one point after smelling all that shit you know i'm saying because after a while 30 guys banging out yeah after a while i mean i think it's no no no i don't get it and i went to well that one and maybe one other one maybe i can't come it's not coming in clear but i remember that one in middle new jersey i thought this was horrendously bad wow shot on film and shown the theater i only wish i could go back to those times that'd be awesome did you go to the avians this past couple weeks weeks ago uh yeah actually i did it it's not what it used to be it's a lot smaller um there's only three or four real big companies where there used to be like 18 big companies

but it's cool it's still you know if you're a fan and you'd love to go the girls are there they're signing or they're they're around or they're going to the award show i i walked the red carpet and everything this year it was okay but you walked the red carpet south general yeah look at you you bad motherfucker i knew i should get you on the pie you're a fucking talented i didn't have any nominations this year i just returned um back in the industry again i took a little hiatus which is always good to refresh um and it was cool it was fun to see my old friends there and people still doing same stuff people getting inducted the hall of fame um the guy that got meat started in the industry got inducted all same so it's kind of cool but that's it's a big show good

point of fan i would definitely go there um it's all on the pricey side but if you want to go be around the girls in early you're scared to death but uh us normal people that want to be around the girls it's a big place to go and it's every year in january somewhere in vegas so that's so interesting you want to you want to go next to me i got sure i'll go to i'll go to the avians that would be i can't imagine when you come back with spots on your arm don't come crying to me spots on the arm that's right you come back scratching and shit don't be touching the fucking machinery what i gloves on and shit you filthy fuck don't be taking leave none of those places please i got it i got an insurance policy with the lords of london you know what i'm saying

leaves a special fucking type of jew he requires a special type of insurance and i can't the premium is killing me look at him he's over there smiling they want to don't want to fucking i've never met really any since i've been out here i'm just way i'm way too high right now you know sam trippling red band baseball didn't he yeah i just met red band did you see red band at the avian you saw him there oh i didn't see him no but i remember you know he was there he was there the whole weekend jumping up and down with tripply and they were all yeah i didn't i didn't see sam had a show there so yeah what the fuck you gotta be more you gotta go these you gotta go these shows so general people gonna know you're making you make a fucking comeback you gotta bust

out the leather jacket and put away the hat you gotta put some you gotta put some fucking gelling your head do and get out there yeah well it's the second hand smoke and yeah i'm recycled there i was uh you're from fucking jersey what second hand smoke you're in the porn industry you a badass at one point in your life what second hand smoke's gonna you're bulletproof knock it off you ever eat the crab you ever eat the crabs from down ocean townships to when you can't sit in a fucking cage remember the ones remember those things you bring them home you kill them and you put them in red sauce lee you have no fucking idea over a fucking jellyfish don't pick up the red one no no please don't fuck with no no why you gotta talk about jelly

why you gotta talk about jellyfish i'm cuban they've killed 10 million cuban jellyfish jellyfish the biggest killers of fucking cubans dog i don't like jellyfish i got stung two times i hate fucking jellyfish they make me nervous i see one jellyfish i'm done and they got them out here they got the they got those seasons when they just come and pop in the whole summer it was always when i got there like the day before 10 million fucking jellyfish everywhere whether i was going to miami fucking uh seaside heights oh the jellyfish seaside heights had some big motherfuckers some one of those 18 inch motherfuckers with that were clear and they would just come oh my god and they would just go two little tentacles at you zippya you come out of

the water scratching you gotta go home and put calamine your mother had a fucking pray put olive oil on your skin it was kind of surreal to start that show to come out knowing that i i grew up there my whole life and the only there's only one guy on the show some jerseys he said they could be back at the show but um other than that that show was really cool because i got to see where i hung out and everything but man it's hard because when people came down in the summertime it's great that the whole influx of women they didn't know they were down to fucking and then you would just you know labor day they'd all head back they'd shit all over the beaches rape our women it was a terrible thing in the grove down there so let me tell you something

how many times have we sat in that coffin we've had this conversation what the fuck do you think i was doing when i was 20 i was going down the shore either late friday night we would start snorting at about 11 at joan mary's not three and at fucking three instead of going home we got another package and start driving down the shore there's no traffic yeah about an hour right about an hour we get down the seaside as the beach we park the car by the beach we get out get on the beach do a couple bumps take a nap take a shower and then about 12 o'clock when montego bay opened it was it was a dollar for fucking red devils for alabama slammers and a martini put together with a quailude you were done for the afternoon you'd be walking

around with a missing slipper you didn't give a fuck jack and then i'm in 1985 my 84 summer of 84 my buddies were paying and i'm not kidding you they were paying maybe this is you know if i say it now you're like oh joey they were paying 14 15 hundred dollars a month for the summer for a closet over a club in jersey and they would all go down there and they would all sleep in one room the bathroom was down the hall and they would all fuck girls in that room that was the real jersey sure and i used to say how the fuck do these guys do it they would talk girls into fucking next to another one on the floor with disgust and guys puke and sperm that was the original jersey sure right and this this is what it is now it's always been an interesting place

i saw pictures of what the beach looks like now in the summer you gotta be fucking kidding me have you seen it no i haven't what's happening it's bumper to bumper on the beach wow when i was a kid you had people 20 feet from your butt i had friends that were in lbi see that's where the real motherfuckers went to lbi that's where the real pimps went with white people that's it that you had to have a badge to go on the beach and shit that's what was the special white people lbi i had connections you tell that story about 84 i can't believe i was moving to beach 84 85 trying to get laid you're down there doing that i can't believe me same place at the same time that's that's epic and that's 84 to five because i would go down on the weekend and cruise around

seaside now there's no cruising law or whatever but yeah that's where you went i started going i started the first my first adventure to see so let me tell you little boys and girls something my first adventure ever the seaside was the summer of 79 when i was a freshman going into being a sophomore ladies and gentlemen i hit the number my freshman knee on my birthday for 10 grand and i my mother had took five and i took the other five and i was supposed to put it in the bank and leave it in these days there was no ATM you got to go to the bank with a fucking notebook and they would take the money out of your notebook and shit and remember that summer i put away money i worked for a mason my mother was still alive and that summer little boys and girls i took

a bus with my little goombas we bought a half ounce of chocolate tiramisu from harlem we bought a bag of quailudes like three quailudes for that we bought four heads of acid and we bought the first black Sabbath album yes oh my fucking god we rented a house for two weeks and i still remember the girls that came down i still remember fucking one of them and eating them and going back to high school and trying to be their friends it was never the same and that was my first take and i remember being broke because we had the house for two weeks and after one week i was broke we were going to boardwalk every night and eat sandwiches and turkey sandwiches and all this shit and i went on the beach one day i jumped in the water and i'm in the water swimming i look up and there's something

coming at me it was a $50 bill i took it out of the ocean and in those days the bus was like $12 to go back up to fort lee or the north virgin and the buses came down every hour on the hour so i would go home take a shower get clothes and jump right back on the bus go right back to seaside heights wow that's incredible have some pork roll egg and cheese while you're in there it was uh it was a fucking interesting time i remember one specific fucking 1981 i was eat i was a fucking mess my mother was dead two years guys i was a fucking mess i was hanging out with this kid randy mergo and this kid diagostino all right and we took a bus we took a hit of purple fucking micro dot from north new york city and we took a bus to seaside heights on one of those july days

when it's a hundred degrees and a hundred humidity and we were playing highway to hell the album on a on a cassette remember those cassette the Puerto Ricans used to have the big ones we're on a bus we're on a bus with white people and every 15 minutes fucking diagostino would hit the button highway and the bus driver would pull over walk to the back turn the fucking radio off he walked to the front 15 minutes away the hell they threw him off the bus and then we met him later on in seaside heights that night with his fucking radio oh nice that's great album that was by the way let's not let's not bypass that south genoa since you're out of you're out of jersey we're gonna let you go i want to promote your podcast on here let them know about

your podcast and what it is sure every thursday night guys uh the porn director podcast um i with a fellow friend of mine con we talk about all the industry you bring them down we tell the news the rumors going on we have um special guests on sometimes july will be on and uh i wish um we had four director podcast dot com uh it's a great show every thursday night you post it on the on the uh site about about 11 specific standard time and it's it's a great way to learn about the industry uh learn about some of the girls it's fun it's exciting and it lee will love it it just tells you all about the industry you should have lee lee would be good on that show i wouldn't be good lee's a star lee let's uh let's uh have oh on down so yeah

porn director podcast um my twitter's at sal underscore genoa gnoa do you want to learn about the industry ask me questions um you know if anybody wants to know what the hell goes on i heard you guys are free to the party whatever if you want to go to hell contact sal genoa all exactly so thanks for having on joey's awesome i love you brother thanks for being my buddy all right we'll talk during the week all right cool stay blackish what do you think about that cocksucker i got your south porno guy because i love you i know you sit there all confused and shit sometimes sweat all night before you miss mom i know you whack off like a savage oh it used to be worse by a single by tuesday it was like Tuesday i went to a pd other day and there was a little

dead sperm who was still alive by the time he was like are you the man are you the man your sperm is an old black man your sperm is an old black man no yours you're fucked what are you talking about oh my and i thought it was yours yeah i went to your bathroom i saw one of the guy in the tub i heard someone i was painting i don't do it in the tub i was doing the bed well he was in the tub maybe he left him on your leg you left him on your leg and you went and took a shower all right let's give him some shout out to you philly people uh tony and phoenix happy birthday jimmy nations jordan braskham keep on keeping on cocksucker sam methadius japan japanese the band is playing uh at the at the lyric bar february first jesse and minnesota jason

minnesota i love you and jeff tailberg you bad motherfucker thank you that's all i got to tell you you know what i'm saying i love it man this week when i went to uh minnesota minnesota it was so weird that uh the owner of the club and i were talking i think it was friday night and we were just talking about generalize it was in between shows i'm between them up he goes you know i heard you had a bad coke problem i go yeah and he goes how bad was it we were just talking and me and just telling the story at least i got myself so fucking worked up like it was so angry when i went back i got on stage and i left that night i left i went back to my room i was so angry it kept me awake all night what do you mean angry i get him for asking or no no no no no he's a great dude uh

just of how much of my life i threw away because i got emails from people and they're like thank you for talking about fear thank you for doing about addiction i just got off pills it's been six months or eight months or two years and you know your show whatever and it's so weird how i've done it and i know what you go through and i know that the tailspin that you take and how much effort you put into it how much effort a part of your life you threw away putting effort into drugs and while while me telling him that it recreated in my mind about how much time i fucking just threw away because of it was 26 fucking years 26 years that's right now one more year my whole life yeah that's your whole life if you live one more year not going wood so that's

how scary that was and let's pretend yeah the first from 79 to 82 was casual 83 i started doing creepy shit for it which meant that became a problem you know it became a fucking problem and it was amazing how it was falling on my lap it was the last thing i needed in my life but it was falling on my lap it was just so abundant in that little time it was so around me and people were making so many mistakes around me and i would be right there that just boom like i was living in this place in snowmass village and i knew a guy i knew a guy who knew a guy and he used to talk about that the shit he got came from california and he used to get mailed but he thought he was cute he used to get it mailed to aspen okay

but this guy worked down valley like an hour down an hour back so he didn't get back to seven o'clock at night so i figured out a way how to break into his house take his mail key from his wall go to aspen look on this oh when i went to his house i had to find his mail and get that box at aspen okay go to take the bus to aspen open up his box take the coat leave the mail go back to his house put the hook back on the fucking thing go to my house to snort the coat Jesus and i remember being around him a week later and going man yeah they sent two packages and both of them disappeared something's going on i put a chill on it i don't know what the fuck's going on it's the weirdest thing and he was something's not right i've been dealing with these people for years it's always

automatic and i remember like another time he told somebody yeah it's coming again and a day later i went into his house took the key and there it was again oh my god this guy was livid he would and i didn't do it again but i think he is later he figured it out when the word got out in an aspen he was like you know that could happen i don't know if he figured out people you broke it in twice that's a crazy story i've never heard that story before so but i don't think i don't know man maybe it's just because i'm i want to be positive and and say that like you wouldn't have been here now so i mean it's probably good that it happened but then again you can't really say 30 years of drug use is good you would have been totally different like you

probably would have been divorced from your wife but still in colorado being a salesman and you probably wouldn't have would never been in jail you might have been like an economics professor no man i was fucking destined to do him because that shit that shit was in my mind i thought i could function and in my mind i thought i did function looking back at it yeah i was functioning but not really i was just going through the fucking motions that now that i'm off it i see it now the clarity i see it now wow i thought i had it together then that was nothing yeah could you imagine what i could have been doing i took night classes took regular classes i was getting good grades can you imagine if i wasn't getting high nothing after work and i just was a normal kid

who took a a school loan and took an apartment and got a nice job that paid him eight bucks now at selling leather fucking bicycles you know those jobs you're selling fucking college that you make money man who gives a fuck but then you wouldn't have been here you like i said you would be like an economics professor who fucking you know but who knows joked around on the weekends who fucking wants to die knowing that they threw away 26 years it doesn't fucking you know me i really don't give a fuck but i do give a fuck yeah i mean you give a fuck since and since we do the show i don't want other people to say this like what would fuck me up was when i watch rey okay like he was 60 when he got off heroin that that would have just killed me if i would have been 50 still

doing blow i would have been because i would have been a mess by this point i wouldn't know when i was gonna go down i wouldn't have known when i was gonna go down like 50 and still doing the gbo a night and smoking cigarettes and sleeping all day and fucking you know not taking care of myself you know it's just amazing i mean it seems like you got it you can't really get drug use perfectly but you stopped right when you needed to you know you're not relating health problems yeah but it's just so fucking weird how you know and it really dominated my life but out of the 16 out of the 26 years let me tell you something i could stare at you and go well it only really dominated my life maybe 12 of those years i gotta tell you something it really dominated my life 20 of those years out of

those six that is a crazy thing that i i don't even really understand maybe 18 but closer to 20 but when you say like you wake up and you're like all right i gotta make 60 so i can get the coke for the day and then i'm good and leave all this while you're doing this all this way you have a two bedroom apartment and you got a car payment and you gotta buy all this and your addiction and one day i said well i'll tell you what i could do i could cut this in half figure out a way how to do my addiction and i can make this work i won't have to buy underwear i won't get a phone i gotta seat beeper okay i learned how to live without with oh an example an 85 of 95 living in bold i had a one bedroom but it was a great apartment

you had no way to walk in the bedroom it was not even a door once you hit the bedroom you fell into the bed the living room was a tv a great television like a trinitron and there was a bench a weight lifting bench which i used as a dinner table and i worked on that bench the kitchen was immaculate the shower was a stand-up shower there was a nice toilet and there was a hole in the wall where i threw away all my empty cocaine bundles and one that i broke into and took all the bundles and tried to see if there was any cocaine left yeah horrible horrible fucking stories rather than that apartment that was one of the worst ever but that's what i think about like a while how long did dominate my life well maybe fucking 20 years maybe not maybe close to the 18th who gives a

fuck it just it just shocked me i say this because maybe somebody's hooked on something well i and i know i'm stealing this from some movie or tv show or something but someone said like it's not a drug problem it's like a money problem like if you had let's say you didn't have to down like if you had if you were a millionaire and you could have a grandma coconut but not not have to be up in the morning like if you had the money to do it and it wasn't adversely affecting your life would it be a problem it always affected you even even if you had money because let's pretend your father has a fruit store okay okay and your father was successful they made 2.3 million dollars a year your father's 58 he barely comes in no more you got a heart

attack on his 56 it's you and your brother okay your brother's a fucking moron okay your brother's a fucking moron he wants to be a gangster but he's a fucking idiot he's already gotten in trouble so guess what it's going on Lisa yeah okay Lisa yeah he's a nice kid awesome he goes from being $400 a week and living at home in the basement to making $3,000 a week and your mother's still closing and then one night you go to a bar on the corner you do a few bumps on a Wednesday night with some chick that's the hardest thing you've ever seen okay that's the easiest way to get into fucking blow his chicks when some chick comes up to you and says i want to suck your dickly do this so you can feel better and now every time this chick opposes you you got to buy coke

by the suck your dick okay now you get hooked slightly and now you're doing it but a guy like you next thing you know you're not going to work no more the job you had even though you and now you're working 10 to 6 in some days and the job is okay Lee but you're hooked on blow and by two o'clock at the job you're already calling your dealer when can i meet you i'm on the way home right off the turnpike where we usually meet you understand me so really you're working but it's in the back mind it's underneath you okay it's underneath you Lee it's like the mind of the gambler you want to be a professional gambler there's two people it's the underlying of that it's a person who has money and who's controlled against a person who has $200,000 and has a dream

of having a limo and coming to LA and hanging out with Aerosmith and drinking champagne and having strippers there's two different type of gamblers do you understand me yeah there's the guy like you that work for his money this is the money you have this is the bankroll you got this is how you're going to make it happen so you're with me yeah so it's the same thing with working with an addiction like that you're going to lie to yourself then one night you're going to go out at four in the morning crash your car and your father's going to find out so you got a fiance you got married here you got caught with a fucking black stripper and the fucking trust me it always there's always a fucking compromise there's always something at the end you never get away with murder with that

shit it's crazy somewhere along the line it's going to fucking nail you so I just don't I mean it's it's crazy with all that we know now how kids might just feel starting it because I can understand when it first came out with you you never really knew but I don't know it's not that the programs worked at my school but after hearing what you just said like it doesn't really what fucking programs the programs work against you the program for a kid is to get off the fucking street so you got to go to those clubs now and say VIP you gotta pay 1500 a bottle to be fucking cool you know what 15 when I was a kid I paid for three drinks it's four dollars a piece it's $12 you gave the bar 10 to four dollars and you could still get 10 burgers at white castle

now it's 1500 for a bottle in the fucking table league that's I do you understand me that's and now you gotta throw pills in there or blow in there whatever the fuck you're doing in there now how you're gonna make it happen there's a lot you know it's tough there's programs but the society and media are stronger in the programs do you know what I'm saying they overpower it they overpower your mind it's like a nicotine company you know you ever talked to somebody they're like I didn't smoke for 25 years also when I started smoking what are you fucking kidding me at 25 you started fucking smoking and said the guy that I had a problem about 10 years ago when I was really getting off blow when I knew I had to get off it there were all these incidents

that were happening you know little things that were just pushing me telling me you do yeah you got arrested in 87 you got out in 88 you were in 88 you got out in 89 you stayed fucked around till 91 you got into the comedy you got divorced you went fucking off you really went off and now this is you know 98 99 I'm still fucking around I knew something was gonna happen late and little fucking you get fucking signs you know I'm saying different people things happen people get arrested people do this people do that so who the fuck knows me I'm stoned like a motherfucker listen this week I had a go to Minneapolis and I was 60 fucking degrees or whatever and I went swimming with the one day they had a sea salt pool oh that's why I did that

one the pool of Wednesday I was sick last week but I've tried to get a workout and before I left so I did a kettlebell class Wednesday morning I got on the plane at three I went to kettlebell class at 930 I took the hemp protein shake before class whatever I before I flew I took the fucking to turn around 180 mm-hmm when I got off the plane four hour flight I felt a lot better I just want to experiment with it and see if I was dragging I went back to my room I had dinner that night I took a shower I read a little bit I wrote a little bit in the computer I had a pretty good time the next morning I had to do radio not a beat they were picking up at 645 I was two hours off and I remember going why don't I feel that bad and it was beyond that stuff oh when I flew back

today it's nine o'clock I didn't sleep yet today oh you didn't think oh shit no I but listen to me I got off stage at 1145 I was back in my room by 1230 yeah I was in bed at 10 to one with the godfather was still on AMC I passed out and I got up at 630 so I got some sleep last night on the plane I might have slept for about an hour Billy Gardell was on the plane with me we talked for a long time and then I went home and took the baby to the park went to eat lunch bubble boom boom and I came here look at me I got to go to work tomorrow I got to be that 730 I feel great right now that's Deanna at the 180 turnaround yeah so I don't fuck with people when I talk to you people it's from the fucking heart you didn't got some rough patches go on whatever go on it give

it a fucking shot whether it's to him fucking protein the alpha brain go to fucking Joey Diaz go to the honor box press church boom you got 10% on it's got a bunch of programs going on right now they have to shit that they mail you on a monthly basis so you never without you on it they got the program for the sweepstakes we go to Dallas and see where I reload a fight for Del they got some shit going on on it so I don't fuck around with them either also on this trip I took the dollar shave club razor just to experiment I gotta tell you something I'm in love and I got so many of those fucking razors I'm gonna be with dollar shave club even after they fucking become fucking famous and charge me $22 a fucking month but for right now motherfuckers

if you're not fucking around with dollar shave club they might do this again for one more month they might do it they might fucking stop they already stopped the campaign one time and they came back on because your guy's supporting you know I always love you do me a favor go to fucking joeydeas.net go to dollar shave club go on the box and press church boom C-H-U-R-C-H let me tell you what you get you either get the dollar program the six dollar program the nine dollar program and I'll tell you what I ran out lately of I sucked it out dry the cocoa fucking spread oh the shave butter yeah the shave butter I gotta tell you something I gotta hear to hold them and see how you get a little something on the fucking arm that shave butter

was working look I don't have any grown hairs no more they did exactly what they fucking told me to at first you think you're getting jipped yeah you're like this this don't feel like shaving cream but look I'm still smoothing the motherfucker boom go to dollar shave club what are you pressed on church oh shit bang that motherfucker what bro psh put a little fuck or something for salami was that banjovi you said you were gonna play for your uncle joey oh shit Monday morning get your shit together january what's it daily 26 27 to slip oh it's 26 today on monday domani what the fuck domani it's fucking monday somewhere believe it took like 15 minutes to park you know that's how sizzling I got the thing that you can see behind you with the lights if you're gonna hit the

fucking tree it tells you there's a flying saucer how much do you have before you came over I've been going on okay before I got in the cab it was 20 below I gave my luggage the little swahelian guy yeah I said I gotta go in this alley real quick and do what are you doing oh sorry are you supposed to be a DJ I'm just narrating the motherfucker and I went over yeah and I got I had a tube that last fucking number that shit I had all tremendous I got in that cab plus I had two lollipops that's one of my buddies from the fucking place that's a good duty wanted me to do his podcast I gave him a shout out and I had a rice crispy treat that was that oh shit kickily I'm feeling this Indian tonight and then I came over here with you we ate the half of

Gumi we smoked a number of Captain Depp I don't know what's in here what happened I love when I go that's a police crack that motherfucker it says new product coming soon vegan gluten-free chocolate cookies as made with coconut oil and cocoon this holy kick it I want to give a shout out to my girl who sent this my girl and shit that's anti the worst okay that that one just hit me I feel the extra who the ocean

oh shit Are you are you fucking kidding me turn that off I'm at this fucking hit somebody with the car tonight I'm so fucking fired up. It's some good music right there. Yeah Don't yeah me can suck you didn't want to play. You got like New Jersey There's gonna be fucked up this week with the Superbowl. Oh, yeah, that's I hope they don't move into Saturday Yeah, they had on the SPN that they could do Saturday Sunday or Monday I don't know I the games are too expensive to go anyways, and I'm not paying that much I don't want to sit out in the snow. I want to go to New Orleans or Miami. Whatever they usually have it

They got to be there by three They're gonna be in that weather for six hours It's been done before I heard it's fucking freezing What's the weather report like I mean look it can't be good, but just had another storm this week Hit me with come on you supposed to be on point with fucking weather Snow reports. Oh What's the weather in Green Bay right now Green Bay? Let me uh, let's see Sunday It's supposed to be high of 39 low 27 next week in New York. That's pussy weather. No snow. Yeah, uh, no

Don't cloudy. They said I'm gonna say the scaring white people That's all they're trying to do is make people pack extra luggage or the airport can make an extra 55,000 million and fucking luggage fees They get ten percent. There's always a Jewel in Santa Well, it's it's a it's a five degrees right now in Green Bay, Wisconsin Who gives a fuck? Why are you looking at me? There's a low of negative for everyone waking up today in Wisconsin to a low of negative 20 I'm very sorry. Why are you telling me the weather in fucking, Wisconsin? Cuz you're talking about me. I was just a joke your fuck

What are you talking about Green Bay? I know it's freezing. I just came from Minneapolis. Is that a different thing? Yeah It was gonna be minus 10 today. That was the fucking high today Mine is ten in Minneapolis. You gotta love those people You gotta love those people most people like I told like I said on stage I go you we're home in LA and 80 degree weather watching CNN late night. Yeah And all of a sudden it's like today the weather in Los Angeles awesome right before they break They show you like a car and snow slide and hit Nepal. Yeah, and they go that was the weather in Minneapolis

And I will come back with details, you know, they always show you the weather in Minneapolis Yeah, and then when you sit there, you're like, wow, I can't I was there. Oh, and I'm telling you the one day It was fucking cold. I could feel the like I said the skin hitting the fucking jeans I'm surprised you didn't just go and smoke right into the heating vent. Listen. I can't disrespect the building and stuff You know the kids there. I went for a walk. I did what I had to do I eat edibles and I kept it to a minimum. You know, I'm saying they're very nice to have me there You don't get in trouble. Okay. What am I the fucking Beatles? I could smoke dope as kids What it's fucking negative 10. Yeah, even when I was doing today even way 10 20 years ago

I never I was I don't give a fucking fun adult smells reefer keep walking bitch But if you walk past me with a kid, I would always be very embarrassed Because the kids guys in the spot right now and go mommy every kid is not dumb. They're gonna smell go. What is that sweet smell? And they're gonna look And someday something else gonna happen And they're gonna quit they're gonna put together what they snout that day Was reefer. You know what I'm saying? So this is what I'm talking about. I see what you're saying Don't fuck. Why are you mesmerizing me, Lee?

I have a great smile. I don't know. Why am I mesmerizing you? It's gonna fuck with me time Who else do we have to talk about? We're gonna talk about a little plus. Yeah, I talk about nature's box Who's fucking I'm getting great reviews from people. So thank you nature's box for giving 50% off from your first order 50 fucking percent off. I could go for some chocolate almonds right now. All those cocoa almonds out of this fucking world The acai granola out of this world the sesame sticks out of this fucking world the sesame sticks Nice. Oh, I love sesame. Oh nice. Oh, you go to nature's box Go to joeydeers.net go to nature's box. What's the code? Joey? Joey What's the code?

50% off right now Go there. I'm telling you. Listen to it. Uncle Joey your favorite go 50% off Just try the cocoa almonds. Tell me those things. They ain't fucking good Tell me you're not gonna sleep like a baby naturally from the cocoa butter and the almonds digesting You're killing the fucking mollo cues in your body from the speed of those mollos They need to work something out for for guys for the church service of it is instant delivery because all right Could I have snacks delivered right now? What we really right now

It's thinking about it kind of you know, I have bagels that I picked up because I don't want to leave the house right now We need to go see bagels. No, I got good ones. There's a bakery down the street And I went to pick up breakfast this morning and they were selling like a dozen from for like four bucks What about cream cheese? Yeah Fresh cream cheese. I don't know. I kind of pissed me off. They left the sides kind of empty in the container So I've kind of fucked up, but she got fresh cream cheese. Yeah. Oh, let's make a bagel Okay All right, so we gave a shout out to

Dollar Shave Club. Yeah, we give a shout out to honor. Yeah, we gave a shout out to my other fucking demon dogs Nature box nature box and one of my favorite fucking people I got on board So I love it all my life is fucking hulu plus they've been sold just for like a year And they're gonna stay on because we love them They feel the fucking love in my fucking voice especially on a beautiful monday morning get out there Wash your fucking monkey. There's life waiting for you. You got to do some brush your teeth floss do whatever the fuck You got a sesame seed in your tooth. They're trying to get a fucking job Would you give somebody a fucking job with a sesame fucking seed in this fucking tooth? Get it together cocksucker

This is what i'm talking about lean Anyway back to hulu plus People looking for the windows take your dick out. We'll jump up and down with the Israeli flag on you like mc jagger Is somebody walking by lean? I have no idea. Anyway, I was talking about hulu plus Listen, I love when people send me emails saying lick of dog. I tried hulu plus hulu plus is an automatic home run If you're not with hulu plus yet, you're slipping You're fucking slipping. All right, hulu plus go to joeydears.net go to hulu plus box Joey joke bam boom get two weeks on the on after that seven ninety nine a month

That's 96 dollars a fucking year You put two you you spend the deuce tonight. I'll be happy You spend the deuce with uncle joey tonight. You get fucking hulu plus and you get the fucking Dollar shave club. You got raises and fucking entertainment for a year. That's how I roll That's my fucking happy new year that you cut suckers because I love you if you're in minneapolis Let me tell you something if you came to the shows in minneapolis. I love you that my deepest apologies The mall was pissed at me. I couldn't go out there in between shows. You know me I'm down for everything but the last time we went nuts Lee. We went into the parking lot and they got cameras

We were out there fucking smoking the security came it's not that it's shitty man. It's the mall fucking america You're not dealing with fucking swahili. He's fucking hanging out in the street corner. This isn't that type of mall They pay a lot of money for that shit. You know one of our friends one of our friends got in trouble up there Yeah, so it didn't help matters either. So please disrespect me. I'll catch you somewhere where we could take a picture and chit chat I spoke to a lot of nice fucking people I spoke to the black dude that was coughing on me. I wanted to strangle him, but I fucking love you Some dude kept coughing. You know how nervous I get when people cough around me. You know what I'm saying? Negative 10 you're needing a cough every now and then you know the night before I'm out there and some guy's fucking going

Listen, we should go get on and he comes up over here. He starts coughing And I go to you. Are you sick and he goes no I had the flu last week. Don't why you're standing fucking next to me? You don't gotta gotta fucking work on one that just told you 10 fucking times No, I like 10 people do it to me all night I'm sorry if I went off on a couple people that were standing too fucking close to me But I'm like, how you gonna stand next to me for 10 minutes and go fucking cough and turn purple in front of me Then I'm sitting on my you were sick. Yeah, I had the flu for eight weeks Why you standing fucking next to me go down the fucking corner and send me a turtle with a string on its fucking back

I don't give a fuck no molly. You know what I'm saying? These people I don't want to get fucking sick I didn't take the fucking flu shot because I'm scared of fucking needles. Don't you understand that shit? So I gotta stay very fucking vibrant I gotta eat vitamin C Oh You know these people get the fuck there. I love talking to people But why you gotta stand next to me and start coughing? You know, I should try you rather come over and rub I hum this at my eyeballs

Anyway, I got no dates coming up. I'm off for a fucking month. I'm gonna start with new material. It's all fucking over I'm done. Lee. I couldn't fucking take it no more I'm excited. I'm trying to add new shit. Lee and it's working. It's not working. So I'm not getting bites I gotta lay it down now restart from the beginning and I'm fucking going for so you know the assistant coach So start getting exercise. You gotta start training me during the week like fucking Lou and rocky whatever the fucking guys names. You gotta you're slipping. I'm slipping. I'm sorry. I'm saying You want to play in the game? You want to be the managing producer? You want to be in the background scratching your feet thinking about why it could have happened

Next thing, you know, you're editing a job for BET jumping up and down black people Of the wards that smells like fucking old God's 15 times Lisa yeah, I still got it. I love you cocksuckers. Let's get out of here. Lee Uh, and please check out uh today at monday at 10. We have uh This is how big of a nerd I am with jerry rocha and tomorrow tuesday We have flying jerry radio and watch this with rick reymos. So what time is jerry rocha tomorrow 10 a.m 10 a.m. And what time is the other one? Flying jerry radio is at 8 a.m. On tuesday and watch this with rick reymos is uh 10 a.m. On tuesday

All right, we'll get it together. I love you mother fuckers. Don't forget the cd is still alive and kicking on itunes You can't eat pussy with azimuths on payloads.com Testicle testaments on payloads.com now and cut this shit get out there. I'm coming back I start with boston then new jersey then chicago then fought a lot of dale. So don't worry about nothing I just gotta revamp and get my head together like gsp I have a little map you went through because boston new jersey my like chicago it all ends up in fort lauderdale Lee yeah This is what you did to me. This is what you get

Now that the show is over don't forget to sign up for your free trial of hulu plus Hulu plus it's been done thousands of it shows anytime anywhere on your tv pc smartphone or tablet pc pc pp Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of hulu plus when you go to What's that called shut up joey slash joey? Uh, or go to joeyds.net and click on the hulu plus banner. I'm laughing because I almost took the table down by mistake And I was thinking how good that video would be It'd be all over online the whole fucking table just went down Fucking pictures

Sometimes just look into the future. I'm sorry for interrupting Oh, it's too high because look up and see what's happening. Did you hear the click the table? It was on his last leg I was like, oh no This is crazy, okay, um And don't forget to sign up for doll shape club.com You can high quality razors send your door each month for a fraction of we pay retail Uh, go go to doll shape club.com slash church Or go to joeyds.net and click on the doll shape club banner

Click do some cocksuckers. All right. I love you. Have a great week get the week off fucking kicking Like a bad motherfucker at y'all Always give love on it in the fucking house get the 20 off always give love to hulu plus on the monday morning Don't forget my fucking motherfuckers up there at nature box giving you 50 off and let's say 15 Fuck that you're dealing with real motherfucking jews. They're going over the top. It's january 50 off They're still mad about fucking right along 51 million. Where's that money going? That's our fucking money Oh, I have not forget to mention somebody. Uh doll shape club hulu plus nature box and uh

On it on it. You always you always bet you on it. I love all you people. Have a great week together Stop scratching your armpits. Put some music on Lee. What the? Oh nature box come from a good joey 50% off Fucking This level this wasn't the song Huh, this wasn't the song. Yes, it was you sure are you sure? Yeah, you said this in case You