Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #164 | CARMEN MORALES | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: May 18, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY’S JOINT..... It’s Wednesday, May 18th.... Today we talked with the Great CARMEN MORALES!! Check out Her 15 Minutes on Entre Nos on HBO Max! This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com This episode is also brought to you by ExpressVPN & CBD Lion.…. Visit https://EXPRESSVPN.com/JOEY today and get an extra three months free on a one-year package. Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY For 20% OFF Your Order! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #Onnit #ExpressVPN #CBDLion #CarmenMorales   The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint

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Now let's get this fucking party started. Cause it's a beautiful day to be alive. What's happening you bad motherfuckers? It's Wednesday, the 18th. Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. Fucking been hot in Jersey the last couple days. Humid as fuck, not my favorite weather. When I left Jersey 40 years ago,

that was guys as stupid as this sounded. Yes, I had to leave because I was looking for a new life. But at the same time, I fucking hated humidity. I do not do well in fucking humidity. You get this, like I took three showers yesterday. Three fucking showers because I just felt dirty. You know what I'm saying? And somebody in my wife said,

why don't you take so many showers? Cause I'm a fat dude. When you're a fat dude, you got to stay in front of it. Unless the tits wet starts to fucking stink up a little bit. You know what I'm saying? So you got to stay on top of it. But I don't give a fuck. It's summertime.

I don't, I put my thick hooded sweatshirts are gone. Now I got a couple of light ones left and in two or three weeks, those are motherfuckers will be gone too. So it's that time of the year. Celebrate. What scares me a little bit is that New Jersey, I saw it today at the gym. We got 3,200 cases of COVID.

I mean, listen, nobody's dying. Nobody's going to the hospital, but it makes you think about December. So whatever plans I'm doing this year, December, I'm not including because there's 3,200 fucking new cases in May and people are out. What's it going to be like in fucking December? By that time, we'll have another fucking variant who the fuck knows.

So if I'm just letting you know right now, plan ahead, don't get too crazy and fucking December. The first week or so, you could mingle and after that, COVID will be out. Who gives a fuck anymore guys? It's just a fucking headache, but it slows you down for a few days. But somebody was telling me now, if you have COVID,

you can still go to work with a mask on. If you're, if you're, whatever the fuck vaccinated, I don't know. That's what I heard. I don't know how fucking true it is, but it's a new day. It's a new fucking week. I'm excited.

I'm doing a little comedy tomorrow night. 15 minutes and I ain't fucking, I ain't going to change the world, but at least I get to do some time, get to try out the new material I've been writing, get to see if this shit still works for Uncle Joey. And I'm excited about that. That's it.

You know, I missed the comedy store. I missed my friends, you know, I missed going down there. I mean, I got a new life now and stuff and it's great. But from time to time, you think of all the people and what they're doing. And a lot of people can still keep in touch with me, you know, from time to time. A lot of people really do.

Like this week I talked to Whitney a lot. You know, I was saying, uh, Whitney was in town this weekend. I was going to go see her Saturday night, but I fucking, my daughter came downstairs. We started talking. She busted out cherry Italian ice. The guy who was picking me up was running late. So, and I felt bad.

I called her. We spoke a little bit. But last night, as you guys will hear later on, Whitney went to a Fox party Monday night in New York. And one of the kids, the guy that took, remember I talked about Mr. T in the church a lot, Mr. T, Mr. T's son, the guy who saved me, who I still talked to. I still talked to Mr. T maybe once a month.

Mr. T, Whitney sent me a picture Monday night of her with Mr. T's son, Nicholas. And it was like, I looked at her. I go, what the fuck is that? It looks like Nicholas. So I called Nicholas and he texted me back and he couldn't talk because he was at a Fox party, obviously. And then later on he called me.

He goes, no, I bumped into Whitney and I told him I was friends with you. And I told him that. He used to babysit me. It was so fucking weird. You know, I had no, I couldn't go to a rehab. So I stayed with Mr. T and he had two kids, Chris and Nick. Chris was like six and maybe Nick was like four.

And Nick took to me when I was, you know, 21. I like kids. So I'm throwing him around up in the air and shit. And one day I fucking were playing and I throw him up in the air and his head hits the pipe in the basement. Shit. He's crying. He ain't believed in nothing.

But I'm like, that kid's not going to have much of a future with that fucking bang to the head. Well, he just fucking proved me wrong. He's an executive of fucking Fox now. He calls me with shit from time to time, but I don't want him to think that's why he's my friend. I love him like a nephew, you know, but I was talking to Carmen Morales, you know, about two months ago.

We're just talking about, she was shooting a special in New York and she called me and she goes, would you like to come her? Ada, Alfred Robles, they go, you know, come over one night, but I was busy. I don't know what I was doing, but I thought about it. I watched Ada's special on HBO Max, you know, I think you could push it up at any time.

And I was very proud of her. Ada was the girl that came on the podcast. Ada starred towards the end of the podcast. And then when she got home, it was fully activated and she ended up in the fucking hospital. And she told the doctor, the doctor's like, listen, just don't eat that stuff anymore, drink some water and get some rest.

And she looked at the doctor and she goes, but doc, that's the first time I ate an Ada boy and he goes, sure it is. And he just turned around and walked out of there and she's like, but it is, it is Joey. So anyway, all those Spanish dudes got some HBO Max love and I got to tell you something. I was so fucking happy. When I see door people at the store, I know that they got

a 50 50 chance of making it. They really do just because they're watching comedy. They're living it. They're involved with comedy and they're working on their comedy. That's a hell of a fucking combination to beat. You know, I worked at the stores and MC. I also worked the stores of doorman and it was great.

It was great to pay your pennants. It was embarrassing when the higher comics see you like you work here and you're like, yeah, and they're like, but I think they still have a little bit of respect for you somewhere. They go, you know what, it takes a lot to do what they do and they stick around till three in the morning and they get the spots.

If somebody doesn't show up, they get the shine for 15 minutes. So you see the process and it kind of makes you happy because it would break most people. You know, it would break most people. But when you, I know what it is about comedy. I don't know if it's the same for music. I don't know what it is when you love something so much

that you forget about everything else in life except for that. That's got to be something fucking strong. And that's the way it was for me. So when I see those girls, you know, when I got to the store, it was just door guys and door guys would do all that stuff. But when I got there in 2014, you know, the world was changing.

They had some door girls there and her, Jessica Wellington, Jesus Trejo, listen to all those names. These are names that were door guys at the store and today they've all shot specials or they've all got popular fucking podcast. So what I'm telling you is right. Just being in that mix is really good for you. It's like being like for a kid to get really good in basketball,

football, baseball, he would have to go to a camp. It's a one week of 24 seven. You just focus on that particular sport. Think of your focused on that same thing in that realm for two or three years. The results could only be great. If you fail, it's only because you fail. But I see all those kids.

There's a kid from there, a little Indian kid that quit. He was a door man. He's got a great podcast now. He's just shot something. I'm seeing these kids branch out. So if you're thinking of getting into comedy, you're thinking of getting into a band, you're thinking of drawing pictures, whatever the fuck you're thinking of drawing.

Remember, it'll be a lot much better for you later if you do that work now. A lot of people are like, I don't need to do that. I'm better than that. Hey, but it's going to come back to haunt you in the ass in the words of Penn's oil. You could pay me now or you could pay me later. And but you will fucking pay me.

You will fucking pay me. And that's why when I had the option of doing the hard work and the heavy lifting, I didn't run from it. Guys, don't ever run from it. There's no shame in it. And whatever art you pick, sucking dick, stand up, playing the chopsticks, hitting a fucking triangle. I don't give a fuck what it is.

All this shit applies to that. It's an art. And if you put the work in, you're going to get great results. But if you consume yourself with it and jump into that fucking ocean like a savage, and sometimes that's not good for people because when I jumped in that ocean, that's where the blow came. That's where the fucking careless living came.

But who gives a fuck? You're working on your art. So sometimes, like the man said, you got to break a couple of eggs to make an omelette, right? You got to break a couple of eggs to make an omelette. It's the same thing with your life and your career. And you heard that from me. Nobody gave me dick.

Anyway, on today's podcast, I had Carmen Morales on. We talk about HBO. We talk about being spics. We talk about a lot of things. I don't know what to tell you. I hope you enjoy it. Carmen Morales. Oh, shit.

Oh, there he is. Oh, shit. The fucking Queen of Salsa. Let these motherfuckers know on the HBO special about Celia Cruz. I fucking love it. How are you, Carmen? I'm good.

How are you? Great to see you. Sorry we didn't connect before to special. I know you were in Spain. I've been eating pies, taking pictures, making fat motherfucking Spanish guys like me fucking drool over you. Yeah, it was fun. I'm not going to lie.

I went to the boss country. It was great. Did you do any comedy there? Hell no. Really? You just went to? I just went to see my family and have a time of my life. Was anybody's stand up comedy a thing in fucking Spain?

Yeah, yeah. There's definitely spots. Barcelona has a pretty like small scene. And then there's also a smaller, a small one in Madrid as well. I mean, yeah, there's cool places in Portugal to go up. There's places to go up. English? Yeah.

English. There's like a bunch of expats that live there. So they all go and see the stand up in English. I would love to go down just goof on those Spanish motherfuckers. Talk like. Me gusta la paella, pero no me gusta la noche. People from Spain. Yeah, that little Spanish fucking list.

Yeah. You know, it's funny how, you know, like. There's a. Jose Diaz myself, which I'm from Cuba. And then there's like Nate Diaz, who's Mexican. But I think we've all come through fucking Spain at one point or another. Oh, okay. Like, I don't know.

I don't know. Essentially it's, yeah. The conquistadors basically went to all those islands. And all of South America and like rape the Aztecs and made Mexicans and made everybody else. I mean, that's how that shit works. That's why there's people speaking Spanish in South America. It's not because they're like, you know what?

We like this language. It's because of the conquistadors, man. It was funny because when I was growing up, I was Cuban, but the Diaz side is from Spain. So remember the Valdezes were fucking peasants from a van. That's where I get my balls and heart from. The Diaz's were from Camaway. They dressed in white and they drank wine.

And I remember like being a kid and my mom going like, we got to go to your grandmother's house, you know, after my father died. I want you to have a relationship with his mother. I went over there twice. And after the second time I told my mom something and all I remember is my mom cursing that bitch out in the living room. Yeah. My grandmother, they were from Spain, but they were uppity people.

So when I went over there, she was like, oh, your sneakers are dirty. My sneakers were fucking pro-catch. My mom lived on that, you know, me being clean. Like take your sneakers off and next time your son comes here, his head better be combed. And I just remember saying like my mom going to listen. Next time you tell me about my kid, I'm going to tell you something. You want to tell me about my kid?

Have your own fucking kid. You got to get fucked in the air. I'll never forget the look on my grandmother's face. The last time I saw her, I know she died, lived. It was not a great relationship. Me and my grandparents, that side. And after like two visits, my mom pulled the plug. And then my mom started cursing her out, going, who the fuck did you think you were?

When I was 19 to make me move in with your family. So you could teach me how to cook for your fucking dead son. Oh my God. You had some balls. If I was the lady I was then I would have told you to eat my pussy. You know how to keep a woman up. And all that. You know, how can your grandmother suck my mom's pussy?

You know, my head was about to blow up in the cab. Oh my God. Yeah. But I never saw those motherfuckers again. I never heard from the Diaz's again. Never. I mean, it makes sense. It seems like she was mad about more than just her giving you shit about your sneakers.

It seems like there might have been. Well, there was a little back history there, but I think that it's like me. I used to tell people if I had a chance again, I would have never gone on that date with that Cuban girl with her grandmother. Like if I am who I am today, when I was 13, if that bitch would have said to me, yeah, I could go on a date with you. My grandmother's got to come. Fuck your grandmother. I'm never doing that again. You know, I had to go to, I went to a date with a Spanish girl and every time I took her out,

her grandmother would come and sit in between us. Oh. Yeah. And then I stood my mom. She's leaving space for God. That's all. Yes. And then she would sit in between us through Donnie and Cher, like Donnie and Marie.

And any time you watch TV, the grandmother would sit in between us for people who don't know what that's like. It sucks. Especially when you're 13 and have a fucking hard dick the whole time, you know, because you're still, you're still 13 and want to fucking hold hands with your girlfriend and make money. And they don't know when you're 13, a grandma blowjob is just as good as the fucking victim you're stalking. You know what I'm saying? You get grandma to take out those false teeth and gum that helmet to death. Forget about it.

Yeah, they get that smoothie. I had a friend whose mother-in-law had no teeth and I would go, you don't go over there in the breakfast and let her gum that little helmet to death. Yeah, dude. And she'd say, Joey, where's your pride? Where's your dignity? Everybody likes to start their day off with a smoothie. Who doesn't love that?

That's true. It's good for you. A lot of nutrients in there. It's really good to see you, Carmen. It's great to see you. You know, when you kid me, because you invited me to the shooting of your special. You did. You called me up and said, you know, if you'd like to come over and I was going through my anxiety,

I didn't want to be around people, my COVID blues. I didn't want to be around nobody. And now a couple of weeks ago, I was like, yeah, Carmine's going to be on that. Carmen, Carmine. Carmine's going to be on the podcast, you know. Then you called me when you were in New York to go eat Cuban food. I mean, you were a fucking star. You tried to get me out of the house.

And I found the Cuban place down here, though. Yeah. Next time you come. I got to go. I got to go. You trained down and I'll take it and I'll drive you back up north. That the Cuban dude from Union City, it's called LaFlaude, the Cuba in Freehold, New Jersey. Not bad.

And the guy finally came out of the kitchen and started talking to me. We know the same people. He invited me to his house and called snacks. So I think I'm going to get myself some nice little Cuban friends. He's a hunter. Oh yeah. That's awesome. He's a hunter.

He's 61. He says he hunts on his own property. Then he smokes cigars, drinks rum and cooks whatever the fuck he hunted. Yeah. That sounds awesome. A Cuban Ted Nugent without the fucking hate and the Democrats and shit. Yeah. My dad, my dad was actually when, when he immigrated here, they lived in Union City in New Jersey.

Or like a lot of Cubans went there. That's, that was the number two spot in the country for Cubans. And listen, if, I don't know if you went to Union City last time you were here. Like I would, I was, I was definitely going to meet you on 54th, 54th in Palestine. It was a nightmare that week before I got to film. It was like every day it was something and then it was like the week leading up to it. Like the minute from, from when I got to New York till after we finished filming, it was like uncut gems.

It was just one thing after another after another. I got a needle in my foot. I like lost my phone. It was just like one thing. The dress that I was supposed to wear for the special didn't show up until like six 15 when we started filming at seven. You know what I'm saying? It was just like thing after thing after thing.

And like it was just, it was so much shit that went wrong. I mean, I don't worked out at the end finally, but you know, it was just nothing but stress. So, but I still got to go to Peter Luger. So I felt good about that. How good was Peter Luger's? Oh, it was amazing. That was amazing. They chop it up for you in little chunks right there.

I was going to go and I got scared because they shot him motherfucker. Oh my God. They shot him motherfucker Peter Luger about a year ago. Four months. Four months before I was there. They shot him motherfucker. Oh my God. They're still legit.

That steak is great, but it ain't fucking worth getting shot over right in front. You wanted me afternoon, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can't get a table at night. It's like fucking unless you know. I couldn't anyways.

I had shows. Preps and all that shit. So I was very happy for you that you got the whole flavor and that would have been great. Like the compliment Peter Luger's with a little motherfucking Cuban food. Walk around Union City. I would have showed you all that. There's not even any Cuban spots anymore. Really?

Yeah. Listen, it's all apocalyptos. You know, it's South American. They're all mixed. There's some Cuban in there mixed, but not really. And like the people said, the Cuban that are coming over now are not the same Cubans we grew up with. It's a different breed that's coming over there. I mean, the way things are over there, it's awful.

I mean, I get it. They're legitimately fleeing from Cuba because like these are horrible there right now. They cut off the internet for the whole island. So these people couldn't tell the rest of the world that they're just murdering their kids in the street and stuff. Like it's awful. And they fucking got no meat. No meat. They're vegetarians now by fucking.

By necessary. By choice. Yeah, by necessity. I'm sorry. Not by choice. Because you go to jail if you fish. Yep. If they catch you fishing, you go to jail.

That's the best fish in the world. That water is unpolluted. Yep. And the dirt, the meat isn't enough for the people now. So the meat just goes to the government and, you know, some big shots. Everybody else lives on eggs, milk, rice. Yep. You got to know a guy.

You got to know a guy that knows when the truck is coming. And this is like probably once or twice a year. There's a chicken truck coming and then you have to know the guy. It's almost like you're buying stolen goods. You got to know the guy. You got to bring your little book and just hope you get some titty meat or hope you get some kind of chicken. You know? It's rough, dude.

It's real rough. That's why anytime anybody somebody immigrates, dude, it's fucking awful. Well, Biden reopened it up again yesterday. Oh shit, really? Yeah. Cubans were Trump closed, Biden opened up now. So now Cubans could go back and now my sister died in February. So I got in Cuba.

My sister died in February. Yeah. And I had no fucking way to go back down there. No. And they, they bury him quick next day, max two days. Like it's, it's, it's so fast too. They don't fuck around in Cuba. No.

They gave her a week. They gave her a week and she died in a week. And like my uncle said, if they couldn't fix her, like Cuban medical system isn't designed for you to go home with a pill. No. Well, they don't have, they just don't have the equipment. They don't have the equipment. That's another thing too.

They don't have the equipment. So when they send you home, they send you home healthy. Like you're fucking healthy. Like that. They don't want to just put a bandaid on it with a pill. So he told me, because if she's going to live, she'll live. But if they gave her seven days to Cuban doctors on the money, they're like fucking tremendous. So, you know, it's something, a sorrow that you live with.

If you're an immigrant from anywhere, you know, whether you're from Iran, look at the people that came all from Ukraine running in the middle of the fucking night. Yeah. You know, being an immigrant is fucking tough, you know, and listen, being a human being in today's world is fucking tough. Forget about a fucking immigrant. But, you know, I was confused, Carmen, because I kept seeing when the special came out May 5th.

It's May 6th. Yeah. Like a week ago. I saw that it was like you and Robles. So I'm like, what did I do? Does she have a 15 minute special, a 30 minute special? And then HBO gave her like a half hour with Edwin with Mr. Robles to fucking explain like Spanish fucking world.

I didn't know what it was. No, we both did 15s. We both did 15. That's great. And you look beautiful. Thank you. Fucking beautiful. And have you gotten a lot of calls from it?

I mean, what's your expectation from it? I mean, it's been a week, so it's like it's been like a pretty like a like a slow trickle as far as like internet stuff. It's just people have just more and more people are like discovering it, which is cool. Like HBO has done a really nice job of their placement. Like when you go to the comedy section, I'm right there, you know. I went and I saw fucking other guys hour, but I didn't see yours. I actually fucking, you know, you had to look for it.

I look for it. I was pissed. I had your Rod Carmichael special out, but they didn't have yours and it's Asian Pacific month. You know, what the fuck? I mean, if you're not going to have Carmen on, you can't have a brother on there either. What's there is fair. So I thought they're going to have like that fan on there or Chen Liuying doing a fucking

chopstick trick. I didn't fucking know. And then I went looking for you and I got to tell you, it was shot beautifully. You look really like the colors. They did a good job. They did it in a, in like a bay in the Chelsea music hall, which was in a basement and we had like a hundred people. So it was small because I talked to the producer about it.

And it was like, I think originally was going to be at like a more of a theater space, but he was like, I was, he asked me about it and was like, um, and I was like, I'd rather have it in a, like a club space, like that low ceiling. I want to, I want to, I want to feel comfortable for the first big thing I do. And that's my element, you know, so, um, I'm so glad that they did it at the Chelsea music hall. And yeah, it's got the exposed pipes and stuff. And it's really like well lit.

I loved it. I love the way it looked. And it felt like a party in there, which made it even better and made it more fun. I don't like perfection of the special. Yeah. I don't want everything to be just right. Cause everybody knows that's not a special. Right.

When I think of stand up comedy, I think of you on stage telling your hard work materials, eight months on stages here, there, and also no waitress drops a glass. Yeah. So your comedy goes out the window, you know, so I always say, I like, you know, that's why I don't do well in specials, but I've always loved the listening aspect of a comedy. I mean, right now we don't know what, where specials are going anymore. I don't know what Netflix is going to do. They don't want to be woke.

These people are woke. We don't know what the thing is of fucking specials are going to be. And I'm the way I'm kind of happy because that means people go back to those albums again. I love vinyl stand up. Oh yeah. I fucking love it. I still buy vinyl now.

I still, there's something about, you can listen to prior on YouTube. That's great. You listen to prior, you know, it's not the same. I said, but when you put that fucking turntable on and you put that needle on and the album is a little old and you hear those couple of cracks and cracks in between and, you know, that just, it still does something to me because that's how I fell in love with stand up comedy. I didn't go to live comedy. I never went to a live show before I got on stage.

Really? Never. Never? Wow. Never. Didn't like it. Never wanted a date like that. I just fucking stand up.

I went to New York to snort coke. I went to New York to watch fucking people crack jokes. I go to New York to see Big Tits since 1982. I went to see some guy on stage. That was the year of the Big Tits for sure. No. Like my friends went to see Eddie Murphy and all that shit I never get there. We spent 150 for, you know, they went to the garden and went to dinner.

The 50 you spent, that's a grandma blow in my world. I don't want to see nobody. But I always listen to those albums or watch it on TV. I never really saw it live. So that's why I like when I watch a special, it's like, you know, it's like some are really good. Some, I don't know what they're doing. I think they went away from the special.

They showed the audience too much for a while. I don't know what's going on with specials. No more. But yours was pretty fucking impressive. I liked it. Well, I think what helps is, is the editor that did it is, um, he's also a stand up fan. So a lot of times you just get a dude who's doing a job, but this dude like love stand,

like he followed me. We went to the seller and we went to the stand and we went to all these places in New York and he was just like, oh my God, like he was just like a genuine fan of stand up. So then I was like, oh, then I would talk to him, you know, about it and stuff like that and talk about like, cause he would ask me about specials and I was like, I hate when we're doing the art that we do by the way that they cut it, you know, because sometimes they cut away when you're making a face or whatever and all that stuff is like, like a facial expression could be a punchline, you know.

So without that kind of like mindfulness, I was like, I think it can steal the essence of something really cool that's happening. And I thought he did a great job. I really did. Um, I mean, there wasn't very many, there wasn't, it was a tiny place. So there wasn't very many options as far as like, you know, you cutting to the audience or something like that. Like there's, there wasn't room to have a jib in there or whatever, you know.

So it's, uh, they were like limited. So it was going to be mainly us, which I was also fine with. I was like, you can hear people laughing and usually they only cut to the audience if there's a fuck up, you know, if somebody messed up or they got a reshoot or, you know, they're cutting from the second show or whatever. Um, but they basically took my entire, they didn't edit anything out. I think they edited out maybe 30 seconds. So you're seeing my entire set.

So there's nothing. No fucking lap track. Yep. No. The guys joke ain't funny and they're fucking laughing. Yeah. But nobody's head is going up and down. They just sit there like they're watching a fucking old porno or something like that.

Exactly. Yeah. Let me ask you something because, uh, as you've been, I don't know if you noticed, I know you don't give a fuck. You're like me. There's been a lot of controversies with specials and whatnot. So let me get to this. How many years have you been doing comment?

Uh, 16 now. 16. Was it a hard 16? Was it has been like for me, if you say to me, Joe, how long have you been doing comment on paper? I started in 91, but not really. Right. I started in 91, but I knew what I was doing in 93.

Sure. It took me two years of putzing around and telling people to stand up and, you know, bombing and shit like that to realize what my goal was, how to work it, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, everybody says, uh, you should take five years to do a special six years to do a special. Everybody has their own thing for you. It took 16 years.

Yeah. Finally. Have you put a CD out before this? No, I never did that. I was always just working all the time. I was just never thinking about that. Like I was always just thinking about getting better. I wasn't thinking about marketing it, which is, you know, to my detriment, but so that's

why when it's like, oh, you know, like now I know I'm going to get the, the up and coming and the, you know, the new face and all this other stuff and it's like, bitch, I've been around. This is just the first time you noticed, you know, and you put the work in common. The reason why you're on this podcast is because, you know, and I told people, I get people call me all the time. Of course.

There's a story in LA. Everybody's got it. Not anymore. But when I was in LA full time, even before the podcast and stuff, there's always a story. There's always somebody who comes around you that tries to make you feel bad for you making moves and they'll come to you and cry and tell you how nothing's going on for them. The manager's not helping them this, this, that, you know, I've never heard you complain. I got no complaints.

I saw you at the store picking up garbage cans, fucking garbage cans, you know. And I know no woman wants to be carrying our garbage cans at a fucking bar. No, that's your fucking job. We saw Dick. So you would take out the trash. Yeah. And it's like when people said to me, Joe, we don't understand how you got so big from being a, a lifter and a guy who, how did you get to be 418?

Well, when you get to LA, you fall in love with something. You fall in love with the art of comedy. And you know what? Like they say, like Metallica said, nothing else matters. Nothing else fucking matters. Yeah, exactly. You don't care about your health or you care about it. Sleeping.

You get a bag of chips before you go up at night. You know, when we go to the store, there's no food there till now. Yeah. Even now it's not there now. There was no fucking food there. There was peanuts or something like that. Yeah. I read a book with Kenison and Carla Bowell, would eat all the bar fruit, the bartender

would go stop eating the bar fruit because they were so broke. Because they'd have to cut more of it. Yeah. They don't want to do more. But it doesn't matter because, you know, there's some people who said, I mean, you know what? I could do the comedy thing. I'm the funniest guy, but I don't know about not struggling.

I can't do it. The same for you. Yeah. Which is because I hate, I hate when people say that because then they don't respect the work that actually it comes to. Sure. They can't make people that already love them laugh. Now, like we have to convince people not only to laugh, but to pay attention and to

allow themselves to have a good time because they're all coming from various places, various jobs. I can't tell you how many times I've had like a cop come up to me after the show and say that they had to watch a little kid get shot to death today. And for like a moment during the show, they got to forget about that. Like that's the kind of shit you're never going to, I'm never going to forget. Did you do that with your friends? We're almost so funny.

Go fuck yourself. You know what I'm saying? It's not, it's not, it's easy because we're good at it. When you see people that are good at it, it looks easy because that's how good we are at it. But anybody that's ever gone to an open mic, you can see how fucking brutal this shit really is. We're just talking about open mics on Monday morning's podcast that some people go to open

mics to see the train wreck. Yeah. Yeah. They go to an open mic, you know, as a spectator. Yeah. Some people want to see comedy in the purest of purest forms, which I really like. I like that. You know, I tell people all the time, especially now that I've been here for a while and I

can look back. I like to struggle more than like going to the store and people like, Joey, what the, you know, I didn't like that for a while. I like going up there with people like, what time is your spot? 1245. Oh, fuck. You're there at nine just to see if you get a fallout and go home and catch a fucking piece.

Yeah. And that's everybody shows up and you're going to be there till two in the fucking morning. You know, those are the things that I forgot about until I got here. I really enjoyed the struggle, like the struggle, you know, leaving the store at three and going to pink dot and sharing a sandwich with Duncan. Yeah. Because that's all the money we had, you know, and for two drinks or something.

We used to eat those meatball sandwiches, fucking delicious, the turkey. I mean, you know, every night that was our late dinner. It was the store. There was no standing hotel, a blue burger, you know, it was the fuck, you know, that struggle. The best time you'll ever have is the open mic struggle in your hometown. For you, it might have been Florida. Oh, yeah.

West Palm or North Orlando's in the middle, you know, when you're starting out at some fucking bar, the TV hotel bar, hotel bars, bars, a banner, yeah, with a banner. And then you move into like a fucking Saturday. Remember the first time you did Saturday? Oh, yeah, I was a big way. I got to do a guest spot. You couldn't fucking talk to me the whole next week at open mics. You're on a phone on Mondays.

Mr. CAA. I did 18 strong at the Orlando Improv the other night. And they're like, call me back when you got three hours. Fuck, three hours. That's a lot of work. Yeah, it is. But, you know, when people first start and they go, oh, I have like hours of it, too. I've been writing since I was like 15.

And I'm just like, yeah, just because you had a funny thought doesn't mean you were writing. You had fucking Dixie comedy cups, little Dixie cups. You're too young for that. No, I remember. I remember the fucking Dixie fucking jokes. Well, I don't want to play cards with a cheetah, you know, all that dumb shit. Or the bazooka gum always had a joke on it, too.

Or the end of a popsicle stick. I've not seen fucking bazooka gum in a while. I got to get some fucking bazooka gum. Good luck. That shit will break your teeth. It'll pop out your molars. Be careful. But that shit is good for cocksuckers, because it strengthens your gums.

It gets that fucking jaw in there, sucking that pipe. That's why when you want a date for the first time, you have to throw off with a piece of hard gum and see where the jaw is at. If the jaw is not fucking coalition, drop it off and fucking break it. Then you go Dutch, then you go Dutch and you go home. But I'm really proud of you, man. I like what you've been doing. Every week you're out there fucking slinging dick at the Looney Bins and fucking

comedy caravans, you know, and that's a lot of respect from me, man. You know, no complaining. And all you hear is, you know, females, nobody gives me a spot. You know, it's very nice to see a female that just took the bull by the horns and ran with that motherfucker. Yeah, I mean, that's always my move with everything to run with it. So I really appreciate you, man. I appreciate you made some time for me today.

Absolutely. You're fucking great, Carmen. And I really was happy when you went to Spain and I made me happy after our conversation because you took it as a trip. Yeah, you took a trip. You did everything you had to do. You shot your special. And now it's time to see life again so I can write more. Yeah. And I did.

It was also like I had booked it in January and then in February, my sister passed away. And of course, like it was like, so that was like, I was like, I don't know if I should go, you know, then I just started feeling guilty about going anywhere or like in, but it, it helped so much likes because there's like, you know, I'm certain, you know, you have, you have family that you like and that you love. And then there are certain people in your family that you just fucking connect with where, you know what I'm saying?

And I don't know if this is like some ancient Spanish shit in my lineage where I'm just like, we fuck, we fucking get each other, you know? And that's kind of how it was. And like it was, there was plenty of unspoken, like at one point where we were both fucking hammered drinking, just drinking rum all night. My cousin goes, Hey, I want you to know that I know that you're sad. But and we don't have to talk. And I want you, but I don't want you to think I don't know.

And but I want you to be able to try to remember how to feel outside of the pain that you're in. And that was the whole thing is, is like, because I don't, I don't talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. It's not really how I deal with it. All the, the day I started feeling good about it was the day I started talking about it on stage or I saw, because I was, it was like two months or almost a month and a half before I saw like another comedian friend of mine,

somebody I felt comfortable with. And I immediately was like, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, because it was just all family and stuff like that. And you can't be like that. You can't be a comic all the time. Otherwise, then your family ostracizes you, you know, because you end up being a dick because it's the funniest thing you could have said at that moment. You know, so I try to be conscious of that.

And so then it was like, it was such a relief for me because I was being a support for my mom, you know, because that's the worst pain anybody could ever go through the worst pain. And it's unimaginable. So it was like, I was kind of like helping her bear that burden. And then, you know, and then I see a comedian and I'm like, oh, my God, you got to fuck. I'm going to talk so much shit about myself.

And, you know, I start saying it and I now hear my catharsis is happening. Now, me and other people laughing about the these these silly thoughts that I have about her and stuff like that makes me feel better, you know, it just genuinely does. And so it's like the shit, like, I guess that's why I'm I don't know. As far as the spectrum goes, I feel like I'm pretty in the middle. As far as like being socially conscious and being annoying, you know, in that, like, I think I should be able to talk about fucking anything.

I want to ever. I do. I genuinely think that. Is it always going to be the right thing or the, like, you know, like the correct, like not even the correct, but the most the most I guess conscious thing or like the most. But the only way you get to those places is by figuring it out. And sometimes you're figuring it out on stage. And definitely for me, because I don't write. I don't write. I'm bullet points and I figure it all out on stage and I record

it and then listen back. That's how I do it. So it's like sometimes you're going to be wrong because you're just thinking all the thoughts and seeing which one is the one that makes the most sense. And I think sometimes when people will watch stand up or they'll see a leaked video or something, they're seeing something that's incomplete and then judging you on that, like, if you ever see somebody painting in the park or something like that, they're in the middle of working on something. And then this, if you looked at that and you're like, oh, that's shit.

Well, yeah, it's not fucking done. Why don't you let me finish cooking it before you? Yeah, exactly. Wait till it's on the wall, you prick. Yeah. Well, I got to be honest with you. You know, I think back to my life and I think about when I found my mother on the floor, the first thing I did, I cracked a joke. You know, I got left back.

I never told her and I kept thinking to myself, I'm never going to have to tell like I left back and I found her on the floor and the first thing I said to myself was fuck, I never had to tell her about getting left back. I knew that was right. And then it all hit me in a couple of weeks ago. Now I was 79. Yeah. It was November in 1979. Then I did something two weeks ago here.

I had a guest on the podcast and it was my mother's anniversary of being dead. It was her birthday, May 9th. And I said, happy birthday to my mom in hell. And it was a stupid joke. And that night I felt bad because I had said that on the podcast, but I go, no, I'm still a comic because that was I went to the immediate thing that a comic does. He heals himself with the with the fucking thing, whether it's

putting a bandaid on it or pushing it in the back. We heal ourselves. We don't want to think about that right now. When I found my mom for the first time, minutes, I was like, what do I do? Yeah. Do I put my head, my pick a lot? What do I do after the ambulance took up and I was sitting there? I started crack.

That's when it started hitting me. And then the jokes weren't that good anymore. Of course. You know, that's when, but a comic's life is fueled. A comic's material is fueled by pain. That's why it's great to be a comic, because when something good happens, you could talk about it and when something bad happens, when you're ready and you have the balls, you could talk about it. I eat lesson number one from the great Mr.

Doug Stano. Doug Stano taught me that 1997, when something good happens, go out there. You got your dick suck. She had a missing tooth. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. My mother got in every type of death. I want you to know this and for the people at home. And I don't give a fuck unless you're a fucking woke, woke, woke, woke, woke in every death you could stop and go. Like every death where the Elvis shitting himself on the toilet.

OK, and I love Elvis, the same thing, you know? So when you go to awake, like my first, like if I come, like if I find out your dad dies, somebody goes, Carmen's dad died. I'm going to come up to your store and go, Carmen, you got a minute? I don't want to bring it up here, but I'm really sorry about your dad. And you'll hug me. And when I pull away, I'm looking at your eyes, right? And if you're OK, I'm going to take a pause.

You're going to go, thank you, Joey. I'm still whatever, probably not OK. And then I'll take a pause for like three minutes. I go, what's the story with the will when we get. That's how I know that you're a comic. That's a real comic. Yeah, the guy that has the balls to say that to you. Yeah, because that motherfucker's going to look at you and go, Joey,

they just I kill at a funeral. Yeah, I mean, people want that release. That's what I'm experienced. I'm an experienced funeral fucking comic. You know what I'm saying? I go into a comic and start smelling fly because it's true. Look at my grandmother's dress. Oh, my God. Look at, look at, look at, you know, when my mother's awake,

I was making fun of everybody to myself. Look at this fucking puke with purple shoes on. Oh, yeah, I would make jokes at the casket and shit like that. Or it was just like, this bitch would never wear this shade. I don't know who fact check this. That's what people say to me. Well, I'm going through a rough patch. I can't do stand up right now.

You're a retard. Because this is when I'm out there talking about all that shit. And if you watch Stan Hope's early work, he tackled a lot of his pain. It was fucking hilarious. I had one time quantum. I knew Stan Hope's mom. With the fake tits from 1930, the whole thing, the wooden tits.

She was a great lady. She used to fucking you could tell where Doug came from when you met her immediately, not in a funny way, but in a wise guy type of way. And I'll never forget that. She had like 18 cats. Do you know that story? No, next to Doug in Hollywood. It was her and Doug and Doug lived and Doug had Ralphie May in the house with him.

So they would torture Doug's mother all day. And one day they went over there and they saw that one of the cats died. You think Mrs. Stan Hope called the cops or anybody? No, no, she took the TV off to stand and put a towel on it and put a shoe box and put a sheet on that and then put the cat on there. Now, this cat is dead. So all the other cats could say goodbye to us. Guys, this is legit.

Check the Doug Stan Hope podcast when we did it. OK, so she had all the other cats because she adopted cats that were missing an eye, missing a foot, missing a leg, didn't have a tail. They got hit by a car. So she had like six cats standing around with slings on and shit. And they're looking at this cat going, hey, I can use that leg. I can use that.

I can use that here. So we I never forget telling Doug that for the first time. We were on radio in Boston. I go, Doug, I, you know, called your mom to say something about the cats. I was like, yeah, she's really upset. I said, Doug, did you see the way she did? Right there. Both of us were like, wow, because nobody ever wants to bring it up.

You know, nobody wants to be the fucking insensitive one. Yeah, but that's what makes the comic. Yeah, we don't have that. Because the whole thing is we're observing it all. And then we take the funny part out of the whole thing and then we go, look at this, isn't this hilarious? And then and it is. And it doesn't mean it's not deaf.

It's not, you know, it's not deaf, like a defaming, whoever we're talking about or the situation or making an instance. We're just laughing at the funny part of the situation, you know. You know, I was thinking about my knee surgery when I woke up. It was two hours longer than what it was supposed to be. And when I woke up, Doug, I woke up with nothing but pain and no dick. Because if you think the cold water makes your dick disappear, pain will make your dick disappear.

Walls included. It just. You had any all of a sudden. And I was waking up just yelling like I wish I had footage of me just yelling going, what the fuck is this pain? And like, hold on, hold on, we're going to shoot you with something. But we got to go back in your leg and turn off the nerve. I'm like, what?

What? What the fuck are you talking? Like, you know, I wish I would have had footage of me then because I was crying. I wasn't just yelling like a man. I was crying and fucking pussy, you know. Yeah. But I think about that moment. I'm laughing because if you can't laugh at yourself,

you're fucking done. I love laughing at a I don't give it. I saw a fucking Mickey, whatever. Don Rickles getting beat up the other day on fucking Casino. When he had beat some up with the phone and he goes down, he's laying like he looks like a fucking he was like a lizard on the floor and shit. You know, and you can't laugh at that, but you do. That's what life is all about. That we fucking take a minute and laugh at ourselves and that,

you know what, when something bad really dies, that you could still take a minute and go, wow, this is funny. And you don't have to tell nobody people. Nobody's going to say, well, how can you think of that a moment like this? Well, I'm trying to fucking put a little levity into the fire. Yeah. Just trying to make it palatable, palatable, you know, to make this as pint as fucking painless as possible and shit.

So what are your plans for the future? Talk to me. What do you got going on? Well, I'm I'm hoping that maybe this turns into a half hour since it's being so well received. I know it was turned to a half hour. And that's what I liked about the 15 minutes that it's enough, but it's not enough. Yeah, it's enough for me to fall in love with you. Yeah, that's all I'm open.

It's yeah, I think that 15 minutes is enough for me to fall in love with you. I think the hour special. You still do it as a headliner because we want to flex our hour muscle one time. Of course. Yeah. You think about the whole situation. Think about the whole special viewing process. Think about how you view specials when you're on the move.

I don't have a whole hour to watch a special unless I'm on the road in a hotel room on a Saturday or Friday night. If I'm here, no, with the kid walking upstairs and my wife asking me how I am, I can't watch a fucking special. You can't watch a special with focus, you know? Yeah. So that's why I think like sometimes a 15 or 30 minute special is fucking just enough, man. Yeah.

And it keeps them wanting more, which is the most important thing. Well, because stand up, it's like it's not like you could just put on a movie in the background, you have to you have to actively listen. And it's difficult to ask people to actively listen to anything for an hour because there's always notifications on everything, the microwaves going off or the coffee's done, somebody's calling me. Why is why is my face time going off? There's always some shit happening that's always there's constant distractions.

So I think shorter form like I'm still a old school purist and I love an hour because I love an arc. I love taking people on a journey and all that shit. That's my favorite and I have an hour ready, you know, but the I will do a half hour that's going to have nothing to do with the hour because it's like I also at the end of the day, like most people are going to consume it in clip form. They're going to watch it a minute to two minutes at a time, you know.

So I also understand that and I'm OK with that, too. It's just then the people who are really into it, like the people who like stand up like that when they have an hour, they will they'll go to YouTube and watch Joe List or something like that. They'll go and watch an hour and seek it out, you know. But I think you're right. For the most part, people are just trying to watch it as much as they can. And it's usually passive.

It's usually like 15, 30 minutes at a time. You know, at the store. Yeah, how they treat you there. It's it's great. It's really great. I think I think I think Emily's doing a wonderful job. The vibe there is super fun. The vibe there is super fun and it's awesome. I love the fucking store always and forever.

I mean, that place has been so kind to me. And I feel like I'm part of comedy history there. And so they'll always have my loyalty for sure. I never did shit, but I'm part of comedy store history, and that's all that fucking matters to me. I never did shit. Any dates coming up that you want to push on here? Oh, my God, I have a I have a bunch of them, actually.

I'm going to be all saw all over the place. I'm going to Seattle. I'm going on the road with punches for a little bit. I saw that. That's great. He's a good dude. You're doing the Neptune theater in Seattle. You might sit on a fucking heroin syringe. Don't cry to me.

That's not a fucking one of those whoopee bags. That's a syringe. Listen, I already had gotten a needle in my foot during the dance. Listen, I'm all right. I'm fine. All right, you're ready to go. I'm cool. And if anything, that just means free drugs. You know, there's like some residue left there. It's just more drugs I didn't have to buy.

But it's a good high, but you have to take a test in the shot. So I don't want to fuck right there. It's the shot that requires a second shot. Where can they find you? Where's your website at? Carmen Morales dot com for all of your Carmen Morales needs. Follow me on all the assorted social media at the funny Carmen. And yeah, please, please check out.

It's called and then I know this is the name. It's kind of like a a Latin next, you know, Comedy Central presents where they take the thing. I think actually I did want to talk to you about this is the thing that I liked about these producers that are making these is it's not all just Latin people be like type of shit, you know, it's it's not just diverse. It's not diversity in the sense of like just put a bunch of spicks together.

Like it's not like that at all. It's a diversity of thought. So you have, you know, people who are super quiet and like are, you know, clean and stuff and you have people that are like loud and big energy and like talk about their family and people that, you know, that are just quirky and like it's just look, look at how diverse. Latin people are and like it's not just, you know, like I'm certain you especially around Los Angeles that like refried comedy and stuff like that where they just want a particular it was almost like the Chitlin circuit

for Latin people is basically what it was. And that's like it was like, you know, it's and that's like what a lot of promoters and stuff like that we're looking for. But what I loved about the producers, Edwin and Victor, what I loved about both of them is they want a genuine diversity, which is like a diversity of thought, which is like people with different perspectives, people with different walks of life, different kinds of Latin people, you know, and, and that's the thing that they've done that,

that they've done great. I mean, like they help prop up Aida, who's like one of my absolute and utter favorites. Like she's such a bad bitch. Oh my God, she's amazing. And her and I always talk about you, which is funny. Yeah. When she ate the edible and ended up in the hospital.

I didn't even know she called me the next day. I was in the hospital, motherfucking. What the fuck are you talking about? You just ate an edible and went home. But I could tell what I crooked. I thought, you know, I just went and that you could tell that this edible is not working the right way for my love. I love her to another hardworking, fucking savage.

So I'm proud of you guys, man. This is what it is. Everybody thinks it's a fuck. Oh, you're going to go on the Rogan, but listen, you gotta do your work. Yeah, fucking Rogan, forget the tonight show. Forget a Netflix special. You got to do the fucking work and you could cry all you want about not getting spots in this and this.

And I'm going to point my finger to Carmen Morales and Aida, Funny Aida and Felicia, who never complained. She's she just started a new show. Rage against the machine. Shit against the machine. She was out there fucking bitching at people. I like all this stuff, man. So I'm really happy.

I miss you guys with all my heart. Oh, I miss my comedy store. Girls Whitney was just here when I hit me up last night. Tuesday night, Monday night, Whitney hit me up. You ready for this? She was at a Fox party with one of my nephews. What? This kid, I've been throwing this kid when he was five,

I threw him up in the air and I forgot there was a pipe up there. I never thought he was going to be OK. He gave him one of those little dents in the back. Yeah, this motherfucker is a big time executive for Fox. Nick, Nicky T. Like I knew him and his brother. His father saved me from drugs in 85. His father moved me in and instead of me going to rehab, helped me out.

And now today that kid's son is a big shot at Fox. And he calls me once a week to go. I heard your name today and made me proud. So that's how I miss Whitney. I miss you. I miss Eliza. I miss a lot of you fucking. Dude, I miss you coming there and watching you work out, too. Like that's the other thing, too, is like, because I was I wasn't in LA

for like a year because I was with my folks, you know, and that was like probably what I missed the most is like being able to constantly be around it, whether you're not going up or whatever. But just because like the energy, I think, and it's just like watching people think things through and how how they're like, you know, all of that shit is just so inspiring to me. I just love being around it. Miss Jazz on X on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Tripoli.

I miss fucking the little Jewish kid who was getting fucking funny towards the end. He went up before me on a Saturday and I'm like, I'm going to follow this cocksucker. You see these little guys, you know, because I would want to do the early spots. Those early those little young fucking killers, you know, they ain't fucking around down there at the store. And I'm going to know this fucking kid. He's up there jumping and dying and, you know, so I missed the whole thing and hopefully they offered me a movie.

I was supposed to be in LA tomorrow, but it was just the 19th and then June 10th. For one day. Yeah, that's right. After the 19th and then either sit around or come back on June 10th. I don't know if you've seen the price of plane tickets. Then I'll fuck. It's insane. Dude, I just had to cancel the gig because the flight was more than I was getting paid for the fucking gig. Yeah, it's insane. I'm not cheap, but you know what, man?

If you know how many times I spent like $800 on like a late ticket, like you were calling or Joe, I got this show, you know, and I go, listen, come in, don't worry about the plane ticket. I got so many miles and shit. And when you got miles, a $600 plane ticket ain't going to kill you. You pay. I just saw April Macy got a $700 ticket for $4, you know, but when I don't have my I still got some miles on some people. But the tickets I saw to go to LA.

And again, it's going to be a loser deal no matter what. Yep. I'm getting six fiftieth day, right? That's scale for SAG, whatever it is, 49 a day. You know, they're not going to hit. I said that's not even going to cover your flight out there. That's what I'm saying, like, and I would do it for the guy. He put me in two movies before I really like him. I like his writing.

It wasn't about any dog. You know, it's in the movie. What's the black guy that narrates everything? What are you saying in the fucking movie? I just want to do the movie for him just to me. Yeah. And I was like, again, I want to go to LA. I need to go to the ice cream shop.

I need to stop by the store and see some people, but I can't take a $1,500 loser. Yeah, because it was what do you call that? It's a local hire. So for people who don't know what a local hire is, you in a union, you pay them dues, you pay fucking yearly dues and quarterly dues. And then they come out with these movies that they pay you to do the work,

but they don't pay you for your plane ticket or your hotel. And I really did that with a movie. And then I talked to Tom Papa once and he's like, Joey, I did three movies where I just broke even. I just waited for residuals. I prayed on the residuals being good. I just couldn't do it this time. I saw the amount of that plane ticket and I'm like, you know what?

And the hotel. Well, then also if you stayed in Los Angeles, dude, that's like that's like a few weeks. You got to put, you got to put, you know, that's a lot of money. So I was like, you know what? Catch me on the next one. And he was like, that's cool. You know, so I'm going to go to I got to go to Austin next month.

And I'm doing a couple of dates at Rogan here and a couple of dates with Burton. Then I'll evaluate comedy. I'm doing too much of my daughter now to go out on the weekend. So I'm happy about that shit. I can't be doing what I was doing anymore. I don't even think I could do a late show. That's why you're the perfect person for someone like me to work with, because then I'll headline the late show.

Well, that's split week shit. I love that. It was a good idea. Oh, they don't want to do the Sunday show. I'll headline the Sunday show. It sounds great. I love you, Carmen. Thank you very much for taking the time.

I love you too. Thanks so much for having me. I'm really fucking proud of you. Fucking savage Cuban from Orlando. Fucking still at the store knocking out of the park. Say hello to everybody for me. I will love and I'll be in touch. Carmen Morales.

Thank you for taking the time. Thanks for having me. I'm gonna fucking enjoy any time. You know me mana. Now I did chocho. Si, si, ta limpio. Ta bien. No, gracias.

You got a ton to wash the moon. Love you guys. Thank you. Bam. Uncle Joey's back. Cock suckers. We have a nice little chit chat. I don't know if it's up your fucking alley.

If it is, thank you for watching. If not, I don't know what to fucking tell you. You know what I'm saying? That's a real fucking woman. That's what you want a woman to be nowadays, right? You want them to work. You want them to get equal opportunity. You want them to be excited about it.

That's Carmen Morales. She ain't crying. I swear to God, I've known her for years. She's never hit me with an excuse. Never give me no bullshit about. I'm not getting spots. Well, carry the garbage. They'll give you a sponsor and she did it.

And that's why she got a special. So stop your fucking crying. Strap on a pair of fucking nuts and go for it. Whatever your plans are, whatever your dreams are, they're available to you. Stay black. I love you. And I'll see you some of you tomorrow night at Uncle Vinny's.

The rest of you. Cock suckers. I'll see you next Monday. Tip top. Magoo. Stay black. And now for a word from my mother fucking sponsors, Jack. All right, you fucking savages.

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