Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #165 - Emilio Rivera, Joey Diaz, and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: April 3, 2014

Emilio Rivera joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt in studio to talk about his new film Water and Power. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for 50% off your first order. Naileditlife.com Use promo code joeydiaz to get 20% off of the premier vapor pen on the market. Recorded live on 04/02/2014.

This show is sponsored by Dollar Shave Club. Get high quality razors sent to your door each and every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now go to dollarshaveclub.com slash church that's dollarshaveclub.com slash church or go to joeyds.net and click on the Dollar Shave Club banner. This show is also sponsored by Nature Box where you can order great tasting healthy snacks right to your door. Snacks smarter in the new year with healthy and delicious treats like Santa Fe corn sticks and french toast granola. Support this podcast and get 50% off of your first order. Go to naturebox.com promo code joey that's naturebox.com promo code joey and for all the oil and wax smokers out there get the number one vape pen on the market. Go to nailed it life.com

mention joey Diaz no spaces and they're going to give you an extra 20% off of your order. That's the whole song. There you go. You bad motherfuckers. Wednesday, April 2nd. Are you fucking kidding me or what? Crank that motherfucker Lee. Even it out. That's Carlos Santana dropping. Used to sell fucking bubble gum on the border and shit with a guitar and a fucking switchblade. Are you kidding me? Hit that motherfucker Lee. Crank that motherfucker. 60 years old. Still whacking on a Wednesday. Motherfucker changed the game and shit. They didn't know what was going on. He's got bangos. Who gives a fuck? Drop it. The church of what's happening now bitches.

Wednesday, April 2nd. You bad motherfuckers. Watch that muffler. We're making it happen today baby. Oh shit. The flying Jew. Emilia Rivera. Oh shit. What's the story Lee? Talked Uncle Joey Cuxucka. Oh, I feel great man. I'm excited. You get some Mediterranean lunch. What happened? It wasn't that good. I was... And the Jews fucking kill you. They kill you. They charge you an extra 10. It's kind of the same thing with my girlfriend. We always try to go to new places, but just go to the same place you always go to. Every time I've gone to two new Mediterranean places this week and each one has disappointed me. Unfucking believe. What are you gonna do?

It's Jews. The last two ones I went to were owned by Jews. You should have seen them picture I tweeted you today with the beard. It was like down here. But they gouged the prices and it wasn't good. It took like 30 minutes. Like I had this whole plan for in-between podcasts and I couldn't do any of it. So now the other place you used to go to... There's all Mexicans. Even the guy at the county is Mexican and they're selling Mediterranean food. You understand that could have been Carlos Santana's fucking nephew. You understand me dropping it. Yeah. At the Mediterranean place. At the Mediterranean. But I mean, you know what? You got what you get. Fucking no more Mediterranean food. Why?

Because you got to go to the one that took you to the dance. Stop trying other places. If one is solid, that's it. It's over. You never get the urge to go to a new place? No. Not with one word for it. I go to Green Apple Chinese restaurant. Their food is maybe a seven if it's fucking on a good day. If the good Chinese guy's cooking. With a seven. But I go on there. The baby likes it. I get some hot and sour soup. I get the French style fucking filet mignon with some steamed rice. Tremendous. Like he says, if it works, Steve could the right amount. If it sticks with, we always, everybody wants to go to the new place. Ain't no fucking new place. That's what Chinese foods are about. That's why they got the lunch special. You hit that motherfucker

for the lunch special. What are we talking about here? I was telling Emilio and Lee today that this is how I started my day. I got up early, you know, wrote, tweeted, took a shower. I had a protein shake. The kettle bells got home, hooked up with my wife. I'm going to come over here and hang the poster and clean it up a little bit. And we stopped the cell and my wife was thirsty. My wife wanted the little diet water, the watermelon water from fucking 7-Eleven. I was just going to get a container of water. I go in, but when I'm paying for it, I see some dude with earphones and like a hood. Trying to be cute in front of the 7-Eleven. And he's trying to get my wife's attention. My wife is looking at the fucking cell phone. So finally I come out. He looks at me

like, what's up dog? You know, it was weird. I knew he was crazy. He was on drugs. He just looked like he was out to ruin somebody's day today. So I said, yeah, I know. So there's people that that's their mission dog. They don't know what they want. They don't know what they want by their life. So they're going to go out and start trouble with somebody. And you could see he was just looking for something. And I come in and I get in and I say nothing to him. I go, all right, no problem. You know, whatever. All right, whatever. And I close the door and whatever fucking idiot. And as I look up, he's giving me the fucking finger. And then he's like, fuck your fucking wife too, motherfucker. Dog, I put the car in drive and I just drove at him.

And I could feel like the car drove up over the thing at 7-Eleven. You know, like the car. Oh fuck yeah, dog. You know, I'm out of my mind. I don't give a fuck. And he went back. So as I pulled away, he ran towards the car. Look at this fucking guy. So now I was just going to go at him with the car. But I want to see, I didn't think he had a weapon on him, but he punched a glass. And I'm like, dog, he punched that fucking, what kind of car do I have? Not the Subaru. The other one. The one my wife, 10 year warranty, not Mitsubishi, but the other one, the one that won the car, the fucking near car and driver. Are you fucking kidding me? He punched that car twice in the second. First time he hit it, I heard a shatter, but I thought it was the glass. Then he hit it again.

A Hyundai Sonata. He hit it again and I heard a shatter again and I knew his hand was done. And I seen him hold his hand. Then he kicked the car. Then I went on with the car and I seen him fly out like a TV show. And I just kept going. And he didn't throw nothing. I was like, fuck you. And people were there. It was fucking ugly. And I just kept driving. I don't give a fuck. And my wife was like, what the fuck was that, Joey? You tried. And I'm like, no, I didn't try to hit him with the car. The car went out of control on its own. You know what I mean? It was one of those fucking Batsonatas. One of those ones that goes crazy that Hyundai got to recall. And you know what? What's crazy, guys? I would have hit that motherfucker with the car. Like,

I'm that stupid sometimes. Like, I forget. You know what? You want to fuck with me? That's one thing. I don't give a fuck. But with my wife, my wife don't bother nobody. My wife don't know nothing about nothing. She don't know nothing about nothing. So I made a U-turn. I looked at the guy and he was still holding on to his hand. He's definitely going to a hospital because I heard the hand shatter twice. So fuck him. Like I said, he was out to ruin somebody's day. And you know, my main man's in the house today, Emile Rivera, from fucking everything. I was going to say that. He's from everything. It doesn't even matter. But I am DB. Like some people work once a year. I don't think you've stopped. I have like eight things. No, it's amazing. And you go to a hotel

room. You're trying to relax and collateral comes on. Yeah. Damn. I'm watching that scene. That's one of my old times. Get out of the way. You know, that whole fucking thing he says to you. But on top of that, you're on here because you're a super fucking good guy. And you've been there. You've woken up someone is at nine in the morning, going to the store to get and you bumped into a motherfucking meal. Maybe 20 years ago. I was probably the other guy. You know, a lot of times I woke up just trying to fuck on my own. The heart could fuck on my heart. My life was pretty good, man. It's just like I would find ways to mess it up, you know, because sometimes I was too, I think I was just too hyper, bro. I was just too fucking hyper. I needed to do something. Always

it's stupid. You know, it was stupid. Are you young? That's what it means to be young, really? Be young and on drugs. You don't talk about it. Be young and on drugs. You're even dumb. You're even stupid. Oh my God, you know, you wake up and I saw this kid when I pulled the way I wasn't mad. I would never even dream of calling the cops. You know, it's not my style. It was just one of these things that I felt bad from after it all went down. It didn't even have to go down that way. You know, I feel bad because I would have fucking ran over his toe. When he flew out, it looked like a TV show. Like he just got a DJ hooker or something. I will hit a motherfucker with a car. I mean, that's the saddest thing. It's the saddest fucking thing. But you know,

we're too good. Fuck we are. Well, that's too bad that you had to go through that. You know, like we know you tough guy, Joey, back in the day. No, no, no, no, no, no. But see, what happens is that that don't never go away. That doesn't ever go away. You know, it's business is locked in there. It's locked in a lot of times we're holding on a mug, man. But once in a while, something like that and it all explodes, all the stuff that you've been holding down will come on. That's dangerous, man. You know, it's it's funny that I'm not a I was never one of those guys. And if something did go down nine out of 10, it was over a friend of mine that I got involved with something. But that's been for a long time. And today it was just a real usually I walk away from those things. I

see what that's for. I saw what it was. I saw what it was as soon as I got in the car. But if he would have kept talking to me, I would have kept giggling. I told you that fucking Judy in Miami told me to go fucking myself. And I just laughed because he was Jewish. I love when somebody Jewish tells me to go fuck myself. Finally, somebody's real. These motherfuckers walk away and tell you I don't know because we wrote the project out. We wrote that character out. This Jew in Miami told me go fuck yourself. Okay. Well, I mean, it's it's not I'm not gonna say it's good that you hit him because like God forbid, what if you knocked him and then he knocked his head and he died and now you're in jail forever. But like, I'm a timid guy and I was like gone home after a situation like

that. Like, I wish I'd hit him or done someone like that. So like, what do you like, what do you feel after that? I felt I felt the same thing I felt when I was there. If I would have saw him reaching, I would have ran him over. Like I would have had a justification if I would have saw him reaching for a weapon or a knife, I would have run him over. But I didn't. And that's why I kept going and listen, man, I've been in those situations before when I was younger. And I went back for no reason. That's when you get crazy. When you go back, you already got out of the situation. You got out of the situation. Why the fuck are you going back because he tore your shirt, because he called you a faggot, because he hurt your feelings, you're out of the situation.

You know what, seven out of 10, you got to think the cops are on their way and you don't want to be there. Let them look for you. They're gonna look for you. Let them look for you. Let them do the fucking footwork. Get the fuck out of there. Once I'm out of the situation. I'm out. That's experience right there. So when you're 21, you come back. They're probably, they're probably gonna fuck you up. Yeah, they probably will fuck you up every single time, brother. Are you nervous about parking in this area now? Do I look fucking nervous to you? I don't know. Fuck it. I almost, I was on the last day of getting my sticker back for re-registering my car and I was nervous about driving it. So I mean, I don't, I get nervous about everything. So I don't know. Don't worry

about too much, bro. All this is going to be the warning, bro. You know what I'm saying? It's amazing when you've had a couple different lives like Emilio has had. Yeah, man. You've had a couple, if you sit with me. Had about eight different lives. Yeah. So I've been lucky, man. You know, God's been building me. You know, I got my back, bro. You really did. Sometimes I understand why, but thank you, man. He does. He does. I look at this baby girl. It's 14 months old. So after that, after all that drama, I went home and I had a half of a medical man. I want to choke a bar and I ain't that motherfucking, right? To calm me down, right? Cause you know me, why am I going to eat a valium for when you got a chocolate fucking chip cookie or whatever.

That's got THC. I wouldn't ever even dream of eating a valium or a drug anymore. When you got a half a fucking kalubi bar, it's got about a hundred fucking, whatever's in it. And I ate half of that. And then I went to a studio city and I went to story time with my wife and my daughter. It was like 40 fucking kids. And I sat there with a bunch of kids and watched the ladies sing. It was one of the most entertaining things. I thought she was just going to read a book. No, no, no, no, no. They fucking sing songs to fucking busk rows around the track, round the track, whatever the fuck. You got to move your arms. Hello. You got to wave. Oh, it's fucking tremendous. She caught me. She caught me to fuck up. After 20 minutes,

I caught myself. I had to sit down. I was embarrassed. I was jumping up and down with little fucking kids. So when you eat one of these candy bars, I haven't, I haven't got high in 23 years, bro. But how long does it take for you to hit? 30 minutes. It takes a while. Before you can't just take a hit of a joint, boom, you're there. You're there. No, no, no. This takes, and you know what? If you know how to chew it and it gets into your mouth, you know, your mouth takes those motherfuckers right to your soul. When the, you know, we got to chew that THC in your mouth, like those Krispies. Like today, it was like a Nestle's Crunch, only even out white chocolate. So I had a half of it from

last night. That's what I ate the last week. When I went on the road this week, I didn't sleep well. So when I came back, I didn't want to fuck around. I wanted to get good rest because I'm one of those motherfuckers that'll go to bed at 12 and be walking around at 4. I'm one of those retarded motherfuckers. I get up every night at 4 just to look around. It's what I do with it. Sometimes I close my eyes and pray and go, Lord, give me another hour. If it gives me another hour, I'm fucking good. Sometimes I stay awake. You know, my mind goes- That's your clock. That's your clock. So today I slept till 6.30. That's fucking tremendous. And I went to bed at 11. You know, I ate one of those Jupiter bars and I was fucking Guguz. And then on a Monday, we ate the thing in

the morning. I gave him a half of Gumi Bear. You know, like a gummy bear at 6.30. We were fucked up by 8. And then I ate another half because I didn't sleep. So I wanted to sleep when I went home. But I had breakfast. I couldn't fall asleep because I had too many things to do. So I did them in the morning. I had to answer emails and send emails and about one o'clock. I said, let me lay down. I was pretty high on the half of Gumi Bear. And all of a sudden I'm like, it's fucking eight degrees out. I ate a whole. I had another whole one. I ate the whole fucking thing. I put my tracksneakers on. I put my shorts and I went to the park with my iPod. I did wind sprints and I threw some kettlebells for like 45 minutes under the sun like a fucking soldier. I'm 51. I gotta get those bones strong.

My daughter's gonna be fucking three years old in six months. I gotta get her ready for a draft in fucking 16 years. I don't know what type of draft. Anything, soccer, golf, whatever the fuck type of draft. You know what I'm saying? Fuck. So no, that's what you gotta do. I don't know how. That's what I do with it. I get motivated. When I smoke weed, I don't know nothing about sitting around and playing fucking Nintendo. When I smoke weed, that's when I, bro, when I want to play, like if you come to me and say, Joe, he got this dude, he's got a half a kilo. He lives on Kawanga and Burbank. We could get him from the back. I just said, let me smoke a joint. Go look at the situation. We smoked that number with a look at the situation. The path comes right to you.

And also smoking a joint and eating a guinea and a half. It's the same thing. No, it's not. This weed that's out now, how high are you? How high on the weed? Not as high as the edibles. You get fucked up. You pass right the fuck out. It never made you get up and do ballet. And that's true, which is my point. It's what you do with that fucking energy. You know, when you smoke that plant, it's an energy. It goes into your system. Now, if you want to pass out and eat a white castle, that's your fucking dilemma. I'm telling you that when the sun is shining on your face and you're a little stoned, you feel like fucking God's touching and you're Jewish. You don't make me nervous. You're fucking Jewish, Lee Coxucker.

Everything on it. Everything is great. You know what? I'm interested to hear what you guys have to say. I've been spending a lot of time with this girl who's Mexican and she lives in Englewood and her mom's like from Mexico. And I grew up in a very white neighborhood. So like being white has never really been part of who I am. Like I never really think about it. But every time we talk, it's like she's like, she's in law school and she's, she's talking about how she's like the Mexican Association and how, how this affects her. And like, is it part of like your guys' everyday life? Like just, I don't think it registers with white people really. It's like everything she does, she relates back to being Mexican. Like I just doesn't.

That's her own insecurities for me, bro. You dig what I'm saying? You know what? You know what? I'm proud to be Mexican, you know, but I don't hold it back for anything. I don't say, hey, man, you know, we were dishing that back in the day. Yeah, we had it a little bit rough, but you know, you can't be dwelling on that shit, man. You guys just do your thing. You know what I mean? Otherwise you won't go nowhere, you know? It's not even negative, but she just like, she, I think she feels like a responsibility to other Mexican people. Oh, that's a good thing right there. She's doing it that way. Then I got the question wrong. Then no, that's a good thing right there. You know, she wants to represent. That's beautiful. That's a

beautiful thing. In fact, though, you know what I'm saying? You meant that, like, when you see certain people mention being Mexican a lot. Yeah, there's, oh, there's, well, because I'm Mexican, you know, I'm Mexican. That's going to get the, the, the job opportunities and this and that. No, she's actually, she's the way she's putting it. She's, that's, that's a good thing. Oh, no, it's a great thing, but just for me, a white kid from Boston, and it's never really part of my thought process. Since I'm not, I'm not like, I got to do this for the other white Russian Jews. No, because, no, because if you think about it, everything's been done, you know, pretty much has been accomplished, has been allowed by a white man. I mean, so this, you know, it's

already been proven, you know what I'm saying? So it's just like, like me, I do my thing and I, and I represent my people. A lot of times the characters that I play, they're not positive characters, but you know what they got a lot of dignity, bro. You know, I'm talking about it, and I always will give you that, you know what I'm saying? Because, you know, because, you know, even the bad guys got digging, they got hard and they got, they got morals, you dig what I'm saying. I've met his girlfriend, let me tell you, a couple of weeks ago, we were talking every night, and she's a first year law student, which for a girl where she's from, you got to give her props. Right on, bro. That's beautiful, man.

And there ain't nobody there splitting that bill. That's girl is, she ain't singing the blues, she gets on the train, you know what I'm saying? She gets on the train and comes in, he picks her up. So this bitch ain't singing no blues. And she got a job with the DA's department. Just from meeting her, she got an internship this summer. And I could tell that she's gonna be good at what she does. She's gonna be a proud Latino woman. She's gonna be good at what she does. But in the same token, she's gonna do something. You know what I'm saying? She's gonna really try. She's gonna do something special. You know, when, when people get in trouble, you and I have gotten in trouble, you know, when we get in trouble, we're acting out something,

it's, and it's somebody who talks to us who turns our life around. It's somebody who, and she has the potential to do that. Sometimes it's a DA, sometimes the DA who comes into the room and says, listen, man, I've been where you've been. And this is where I am now. Let's get out of this mess. Let's move on. And you sit there and go, I just gave myself up or whatever. But I know that there's hope because this lady just told me where she fucking grew up. You know, anybody could go to law school with credit cards. I could tell that she's getting on the loans, you know, family ain't fucking rich. Then I don't have a cup, you know, and it's, it's very nice to see, man. How old is she, bro? 23? Oh, she's young girl. You're only five. Yeah, 23. He's got this

young old fucking love. A long time ago, he turns on your side, but that's beautiful, man. And it's great, but it's just like, every time I go to visit her, I'm not, I'm not nervous anymore. But like, somebody got shot in her complex the other day, it's like a new gang came back. And her mom's like a 60 year old mom. But apparently, like, whenever we walk in the neighborhood, everyone waves to her. But it's just like, I can't imagine growing up in that situation. And it's just, you know, it's because you're foreign to it. But like, I mean, that's, that's how I grew up. And it was just part of everyday life, bro. I mean, I mean, people were dying around you, man. And you know, I mean, it's a fucked up way of life, but it is what it is. But but after a while, it just becomes

that's home, you know, so you just learn how to talk, man. You know, you hear gunshots hit their floor. There's, you know, even in the house, you know, my mom, all of us, you know, everybody hit the floor, you know, and you sometimes like a backfire, you could tell it was a backfire because they you could there's a different kind of backfire we hear a bullet because a bullet was it is just breaking the somber is what's the noise is for your time also. Okay. It's amazing. I didn't like what happened this morning, because it happened in front of my wife. That's the thing. But see, like you see, we walk away, feel you by yourself. I don't like my wife seeing me trying to hit the motherfucker with a car. I don't like my wife to, you know, I love my wife and

I respect my wife a lot. And it's amazing the life I used to lead that I had no respect for the person that called with me or the person waiting for me. And I don't want her to see that. You know, so when I talked about that today, it was just to tell you about my fucking day. It wasn't in a way to I didn't want my way. I felt a little embarrassed the rest of the day. You could tell something was up when she was hanging the curtains wasn't that I was mad at she's not mad at me. We had a good time this morning. You're protecting her, bro. Yeah, I don't like her to see me go off. I don't like her to see my potential, you know, and it's it's amazing what you could do. And when it scares you when you say, you know what,

I'm not going to do that no more than moved on, you know, did you have a particular moment in your life when you said, I don't want to do this no more. Yeah, this little acting gig going, I'm going to stick with it and maybe something will happen. But you know, brother, you know, like, and that's the thing, like, because my life was most of my life was was a was a violent guy. And then when I got King, like I say, it just settles. It's never going to go away. It's there. You dig and then you don't want and you, you know, bro, you learn to smile because you don't want that to come out of you because you know, the damage you can do, you know, because when you go, I'm gone. You dig what I'm saying? And you don't want that to come out. And I've even been king

of sober. It's had to come out maybe like maybe nine times, you know, in my 23 years, which is pretty good because it's come out all the time. But it was stuff that, you know, somebody broke in my car. I caught him was beautiful. You know, I mean, he broke your car and you actually cast a thief. You know, there was two of them and it was I went off and I mean, it was, I did more than I should have. But you know, you know, disrespectful, you know, you know, you're gonna learn maybe I saved their life by doing what I did. You dig what I'm saying? But yeah, you know, maybe 19 or 23 years, which is pretty damn good. But that monster is always sitting there, bro, just don't want and you and you find ways that the best to enjoy smile, smile and counting,

you know, count. It sounds stupid, but it works. At least it does for me. You dig, you know, but it's, you know, sometimes it's instant, you know, it's like that. It's like, you know, you threaten me, it's on, bro, you know, so you push me, you don't touch me, you know, it's going to go, you know, and like I said, I've been blessed, you know, because I mean, if I don't fight again in my life or hurt somebody or getting an intoxication, I'll be the happiest man brother because because that now it's really weird because even when you do something bad, I had that feeling that it bothered like you say, you felt better. I like that you're because you're a good man, bro. You know, like even after you did something, even though they fucked up

and you hurt them because they fucked up, they tried to do something bad to you. It hurts me. My heart hurts, bro. You know, saying, you know, and when you get clean and sober, it took so long to get my heart clean again. You know, you start reminiscing all the shit you did, all the bad shit, and then you get clean again. Now you got to fucking cleanse yourself all over again because it stays with you. You know what I mean? It's not cool, man. That's because you're a good man, though, bro. That's what you're doing. Not what I have to know. You've been clean sober 23 years. Yes, sir. Coming up in May will be 24. And when did you get into acting? Rightly right about a year later when I started when he was able to talk like I was crack cocaine,

had really messed me up. So I was I couldn't really keep my words together. So about a year of recovery, I was able to speak my I wasn't twitching the more my hand wasn't twitching no more and and then I started getting into it, you know. So how do you get in? Okay. So Joey, you started with weed, did a little bit of coke and did a couple other things with mostly coke. How do you get to crack? I was hooked on crack for about four weeks myself and 98. I'm away home from the comedy store. They used to sell it right by Man's Chinese Theater in between Sunset and Hollywood Boulevard and one night I saw him out there and I thought it was coke. So I pulled over and bought it, brought it home. I tried to snort it and I realized it was crack. No. And then

I fucking the next night I got a coke can. Yeah. And I went out and I kept doing it. Every night I go over and get $4 worth of rock and smoke. And then one night they gave me soap. And I have a wax, bro. Wax. Fucking pissed me off. And it was funny. I went to El Paso to stop smoking crack. I went to do a weekend in El Paso and El Paso is big blow. So I said, well, I'm down here. I won't do cracking them. I just do coke. I did coke for the five days and I got off the crack. So now that would have been hooked on fucking crack with dirty fingers and shit. Yeah. Well, see, see, my thing was I was on heroin for 11 years and I kicked heroin by doing cracking shooting. Yeah. Yeah. I can't do needles.

No, you know what? I hate needles, bro. But it made you you know, you just the high overtakes the needle part, you know. But what it was, you know, is that crack cocaine is that's a devil scene. It took me 10 times, bro, to do it. And then finally, I didn't get a what's a big deal. And then finally, I guess I was hitting it wrong. When I finally hit the 10th time, I said, Oh, shit, this is what they're talking about. And I ran with it. It was ugly, bro. It was ugly. Jesus Christ. What? What made you go from heroin to crack? I was what you call a trash can junkie because I was such a hyper guy was just I wanted I was wild. I was a wild man. So the heroin would bring me, you know, slow me down a little bit

because I was on a roll, you know, and I was a trash, which called trash. I did a trash can junkie. I tried it and I'll try like a I put heroin with then do some acid and some PCP and see what it would take me, you know, and some of the most trippy spaces in you ever. I'll never go back and hope to never go back again. But um, but that but that crack cocaine man, really, it really, um, man, that's, uh, there's no you can't stop. You don't stop. Jesus. You know what, man, I have a way problem. I thank God I never did. I get none of that ever came in. We'll put you on a four week crack. You'll be looking like Slim Jim away, but you're going to lose your mind too, brother. You don't need that getting up in the morning, stabbing people

at the 7-Eleven. You'll be down to 140, but fuck that. You have somebody ready. You have joint deals running you over, brother. I know Jesus. I saw this video today. It's an old video, but it's this woman on like the streets of like New York or something and she's covered in paint and she just like kind of rolling on the streets and like her friend came by and she said, she was a heroin and crack smoker. I was like, fuck. Like I can't, I can't imagine what that's like. Like I'm seeing what it does to people, but then having the urge to do it. Still, I can't like thank God they never have a fucking smoking cigarettes. You go walk into 7-Eleven and buy a pack of cigarettes. It's like fucking, uh, you know, so many other things that are bad for you that

yeah, very well put bro. Cause you don't know, you don't know what's messing you up. But what is this? Like you're starting to get a bigger tolerance for it. You're thinking, well, I can do more and more, but it's really, that's when you start to get messed up at the wall. It just takes control. You get, you're not getting your handle. You're just doing it to get, to be normal. Fuck. Yeah, man. So what we know, our listeners probably know what got Joey off of it. Like what made you change or stop? I was, uh, well, like I was, I was, I was switching my eyes. But you know, we remember Marty filming that crazy eye. That's what my eye was doing. I couldn't, I was pulling out my own

teeth. I was pulling out my own teeth, bro. Cause I could. Just cause you could? Cause they're all loose now. You know what I'm saying? They're all loose, you know, sometimes to like, to show off, you know, the fucking stupid shit, right? And, uh, yeah, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was starting to think that I was invincible, bro. I was doing some, I can't talk about some stuff that I did because I, I don't want to incriminate myself, but I did some fucking shit, bro. You all do when you're in that fucking level. I still, every time I'm on Sunset Boulevard yesterday or the day before I had to go to Hollywood, no one's on Sunset on that side by Vermont. And I was thinking about this guy I had.

They used to sell me Coke on Western and Sunset. Emil, I didn't know his name. I didn't know where he came from. I knew nothing. All you knew that after about 12, you went to Sunset and you went to that Burger King and made a U-turn and he come running from behind the castle where he spoke Spanish. He didn't talk to you. He asked you what you wanted. And the first thing he did was put a Coke rock in your nose to make sure you weren't a cop. There was no talking. There was no conversation. You go, pull over. He put a Coke rock in your nose and he didn't have it in paper. He just give it to you in your hand. And then he'd run away. And that was it. That was his fucking day. You know? So can you imagine that shit? That's not a fucking horror movie. But that's the thing, guys. Like,

luckily for most of people listening, like this is, you can say that it's just what happens when you're on it. Most of the people who listen to this are like, what the fuck are you talking about? No, no. Anybody who has been on drugs, anybody that listens to this and has been on drugs for two years and over and has gotten into the late night vampire world of drugs knows that there's no boundaries. There's no boundaries what you're going to see at night. I've been living in Seattle in 95. If I'd stay out to do comedy, I would miss the bus to go over to where I live with Josh Wolfe. So I'd have to stay at this cook's house. This cook was crazy. He had a long hey, he was a guitar player for a band. He looked like the guy from Soundguard. But where he lived that

night, everybody knew that you could go to his house. So they throw rocks at his window. I remember waking up on his couch and seeing two black guys and Lionel, that was his name, White Lionel, smoking crack and going, what the fuck? The other night he woke me up and said, there's a party in the building and there was a naked lady dancing in a fucking cage and I'm sitting there going, people are doing heroin. This is the world that you step into when you go into those levels of it. There's the first level of me and you, Amelia, and you get together at a bar and doing a couple of bumps and then there comes the level of you buying a package and taking it home with you. Then now you're taking two packages. Now you find a girl that's

into it that sucks your dick with ice cubes and a mount and sticks her tongue up your ass when you're coked up and pulls a dildo up your ass and she don't tell nobody. That's a fucking tremendous party right there. And then you fucking start, then you throw her out because you ain't got enough coke for her no more. You ain't sharing no more. You ain't sharing no more. And this is 10, 12 years in, you're starting to slip at your job, you're already tapped into your 401k, you remorgans the house. This gets out now, you're in a dark world. Now your wife leaves you, you got child support. Progressive disease, brother. It's a progressive fucking disease and it's, you know, I tell my wife, I go, I don't know what the biggest miracle God pulled here, whether

give me this beautiful little 14 month old baby or taking me off the blow. If you look at what I wrote and I know we were going to even talk about this today. But last night we were talking about what would happen to me at 10 to eight at night every night. If I didn't have a set eight years ago, because I've been clean seven years, eight years in November. If I didn't have a comedy set at night, I would be okay till after dinner. I would eat dinner and then I would start declining. By seven 30, the fucking stomach would hurt. My bones would start hurting and I would go deaf. And at that time I didn't care what that money was in the bank, who I owed it to, when the payment was due. I would get in the fucking car and I wouldn't even think, I wouldn't even stop the

red lights. I would go straight to the Rouse on Sunset Rock and Roll Rouse as an ATM, an ATM right there. I'd pull up in front of the ATM. I didn't give a fuck about no ticket. And I'd take $60 and right from there, I'd make a U-turn on Sunset regardless, cops, no cops. And I'd dumped up in Highland and right there was with my drug dealer. That was the one guy. I had a little Mexican guitar player, El Compadre. I had that guy and I would go over there and I would snort the cocos I was driving. I would crush it in my hand at the first light on Sunset and Shrader. I would put the dollar bill in and do the whole bag in one shot or $60. Then I would go upstairs, jerk off and take a big fucking shit and look out the window for 15 minutes and devise how is

it going to be in my next package at one o'clock when I get it delivered or do I have to get dressed again. I'd talk. Very good, man. That's your whole, that's your whole life right there. What's your whole life? What percentage of people in America, not maybe not to that level, maybe not to 10 years in, but five years or so, like get to a point where it's a problem. Well, you know, like I said, I did heavy drugs for 11 years and then after 14 months of crack, I was done because you know, I was doing $400 a day, bro. $400. Yeah, man. It's so easy to do. And you see, I would sell dope not to get to help. I always had a good job. I was always a mechanical engineer. I was a functional addict. But what it was,

that money that I made, that was taken from my family, you know, responsible man, the money that the dope, the money I made selling dope would just keep me high all the time. You dig what I'm saying? And there was a lot of money to be made, bro, but it was just too. Was it really? So how much could, if you wanted to go out there and not even, let's say you weren't addicted, but you just wanted to sell crack, how much money could you make in a day? A lot. Especially if you, especially if you're a person you can trust and you always have, you always carry, you can make a lot of money, bro. But my thing was just like, I needed it, bro. I needed to stay high. I was, I was, uh, it was almost like to keep me, even though I was

insane, I thought I was being, it kept me sane. You dig what I'm saying? I, uh, it's, I can't even imagine it, man. Like you're saying these words to me and I'm here, I just, but it's, it's too, like, I can't imagine working that hard, working a job, and then working another job to make $400 a day, which is a lot of fucking money. It's a lot of crack. I paid, I paid $700 a month. My car payment was $300. I paid $300 a month for child support and groceries. Me and Terry was splitting $2,000 a month. We kept our nut low. I was doing $120 a day, five days a week. Okay. I don't know how I was getting the money. I don't know who I was getting the money from. When you add that up, it's a lot of money a month.

It's a lot of money. That's like, that's, that's, that's 600 a week. That's towards my last four. This is my last three months of my, my addiction though, you know, that, you know, it started only like about 40 bucks, 60 bucks, it was 100 bucks a day, and that's too much of my addiction. That's the most was my mind because it was just too many drugs going into my system. Bro, you know what I'm saying? I mean, I was, bro, I was like this, and my mom would look at me and cry and she'd say, what are you doing yourself? I mean, I can't hear. I mean, literally, bro, my, who would just go that way. It would be all white and I'd be like, I'm okay. I'm okay, man. Come on. I'm okay. I'm still working, bro. And then I would try to

put my hand in my pocket. So people would see this, this thing I had is a twitch because they wouldn't, it wouldn't, it wouldn't, it would not have all the time, which is, it would just come. You could just sit and say, awesome. We're talking. I'll start doing this. I'll try to put it in my pocket. And then it ended kind of weird doing this year in my pocket. You know what I'm saying? It was a bad times, bro. Is that what makes you guys work so hard? Because like, if you think about it, to make enough money to support 600 a week and 400 a day for a few months, you have to work pretty hard. Well, no, it's because you already have your connections, bro. You know, you know, you know, cause I was getting so dirt cheap and I knew how to

make my own stuff. And then I, you know, cause you get powdery and nothing. If you know how to put your stuff together with the baking soda and all that shit, it's really easy to make, bro. You dig? And people just want to go through that trouble. They just rather buy it. Wow. It's, it's when you start dealing coke and fucking around, just to keep your thing intact, you know, your little fucking secret intact. I would do comedy and listen, it's no secret because from the time I stepped off that fucking car in 97 in this town, to 2006, I did a set to two sets every night because you had the comedy store and stuff and they paid you with a check. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That wasn't my thing. I'll swing by there because that's where

I got my coke on the way home. So I'm going to be there. Might as well do a set, but it was those early sets. I would go into fucking all those Casa Latinas because those things paid you 40 and 50 Rudy at the house. They pay your cash. So I always booked those. I had those five nights a week, bro. Five nights a week because I had to feed that fucking hole. I remember the guy I had, it was 60 a gram. But if I showed up before, he wouldn't come by. You know, you know, we'll see, we'll see what was good about that. You buy a eight ball piece by piece. It cost you $225. I get a whole eight ball for 80 bucks. So that's what I could do. That's what you do. Do your thing. So you somebody calls you and says, I want a gram.

You got 60. I got an eight ball for 90. Bam. I got fucking two and a half grams for fucking 90 bucks. I'll call Lee. I'm gonna go Lee. What do you pay for a gram? I'll pay 100. Give me 60 cash. Look at this fucking boulder. I'm going to drop on you. I still got a gram on the app and I got a hundred dollars to throw away. 50 bucks cash. You make it happen every day. Like I used to tell you, I used to wake up in the morning while I was in Jersey and I was 19. I wake up in the morning, go to Charlie's diner, who's still on Facebook. I still talk to him on Facebook. I go in there, have breakfast and give me a 20. It's like Sean Penn in that movie he did when he went crazy and then he came out. He went to the movie theater with John Travolta. You ever

see that movie with John Travolta and the old guy? Great fucking movie. Very like independent. It was an independent movie, but he came out. He went to the movie with the girl, with his wife and she goes, listen, I don't know money to pay for the ticket. She's so lovely. She's so lovely. And he pays for it and he goes, how about $40 for drinks? So he signed. In the old days, you could sign 40 bucks from the register and a fucking ticket. I would go to Charlie's and get breakfast and go to Charlie's. Give me breakfast, take a 20 on the register. I'll be back this afternoon to give you that before you close at five. That 20 got me going. Now I picked up a 20 from him and I give you two bumps and you go, get me a gram and I give me a hundred and now the party

started. Bam, bam. You're ahead. Now I'm ahead. It's two in the afternoon. I'm already ahead. How do you worry about rent? Rent is due when? The first. I worry about rent on the 31st. That's how the real pimps do it. Real pimps don't worry about rent on the 31st. You don't worry about shit. The first time rent comes into your mind is the 26th. You're like, five days. So now you got the one dude that you were going to borrow money from that you got him on the hook because I would call a guy like Lee and go, Lee, I'm going to mind. I need 300 hours and you go, all right, call me, call me. I'll write you a check. I got Lee. But then I call you an hour later and go, Lee, forget the 300. I got a handle. My buddy's going to give me a gram. I wouldn't tell you. He's going to give

me a gram on the arm. So I already got you for 300. My rent's 450. So I would just wait two weeks. If I didn't make the 450, I'd call Lee on the 26th and go, Lee, I need that 300. Now come up with 150 at the bar. You just put pieces together. I wouldn't worry about rent to the 31st. That's right. You don't worry about shit. Nothing to the day before. You don't worry about the get high. All you worry about was in front of you. What's in front of you today. But you know what, bro? And that's today. But you know what, in my real life nowadays, I don't worry about shit. I don't worry. I never worry about shit, bro. You know, uncle, because it don't help nothing, bro. Don't do nothing for you. It's going to be, it's going to be what it's going to be at the end of the day.

Worrying don't just makes you nothing. Yeah, it makes you get old. It makes you get depressed because you're worrying about it. But all of a sudden it comes out to be okay. So what's the fuck? You know what I'm saying? You know why he works so much? Why? Because he believes. Because at the first of the month, me and him have the same amount of money in the bank. Zero. At the first of the month, we all have zero. A lot of people have to go to work. They can't. There's a lot of people that have to get on a bus and take a train and go to work and commit to a job. He commits when he has a job. But there's something for it to be the 10th. And for you haven't worked yet. And you're like, I know I'll book something by the end of the month.

I'm going to go, bro. You understand me? That's a state of mind. And in a region where you're worried about shit, when you go to the room to go read, they know you're worried, bro. They know you're worried. They smell a fuck. They see people fucking a hundred people a day, bro. They know who's worried and who's not. They say, this motherfucker, he's all right. He's going to be comfortable on the set because he's comfortable. He ain't worried about shit. He's ready to just take care of what he's got to take care of in front of him. When I walk in that set, even though I need that money to snort coke tonight, I need a rent. I need to get a plane ticket next week to New York.

I'm walking. I'm going to shed all that. That's when you become a real actor. When you walk in there, you shed that fucking desperation. I used to sell cars. You got to shed that desperation. Even though I need this motherfucker, God, no. Either you do it or you walk in there cool as a motherfucker. What? I was looking for a job when I found this one and shit. Stop it. It's hard. It's easy. It's hard. I mean, fucking, I don't, the joke is the Jews always worry about, but it's hard not to worry about stuff sometimes. Can't worry about nothing. How do you know how to do that? Do you believe in anything they taught you? And when you were a little Jew,

no, you believe in any of the gods or Jeremiah to walk into. No, not really. You got to believe. You got to believe in something. You got to believe in something. You got to have your power, brother. And like I tell people all the time, you know what? If you don't believe in something, it's great. Just believe in yourself. Okay. You don't want, you're an atheist, but do me a favor, because once you start believing in yourself, you go, damn, this shit ain't happening because of me. I'm getting this good fortune from somewhere else, and then you'll deter and go, wow, something out there. It may not be God. That's not,

maybe it's fucking Lucifer with a haircut. You never fucking know what he's saying. You know what I'm saying? You never fucking know. It's just amazing when you think back at this time, and that's where you get your strength from. Sometimes I wake up in the morning, I'm like, fuck, I remember when I used to wake up struggling, no money, you know, because it's one thing not having an egg, but it's another thing not having an egg and not having 40 bucks for the fix that night. Because the whole day, that's on your mind. When you're talking to people, you're looking at their teeth to see if you can rip out a gold tooth, you know, because you need 40 bucks. You can't focus. You're like, oh, you know what,

maybe a sag or send me a check today. You wait for that mailman to walk down the block, and as soon as that motherfucker walks out the building, you walk in there and check your mail and you got nothing in there. My thing is, you know, like, even now, it's like, about being clean. I got less to worry about, you dig what I'm saying, because I don't got to worry about getting high home. I just take care of my family and my boy and my wife, you know, that's that's my life, you know, and we're okay, you know, we're going to be okay, you know, my hug house. That's enough for my boy. I mean, he loves his little toys and his little Nintendo and all that stuff. But you know what? Give me a hug, dad. He actually goes, give me a

hug, dad. And I love that home. That's can't buy that stuff, brother. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. No, man, it's crazy. It's inspiring to hear. And of course, you never wish that someone would go through that. But it's cool seeing, I'm sure the people who are listening, because you said, Joe, you get like a bunch of emails about addiction. It must be cool seeing two people who've gone through it and come out at the other side, because there's a lot of, there's a lot of examples of people who do who haven't made it out. Most don't, bro. You dig what I'm saying? And that's, and that's honest truth, bro. And it's fucked up, you know, it just gives a variety of chance, bro, because, you know, I'm going to say,

it makes life easier. You still life is still going to hit you, bro. I mean, life hits me once in a while. You dig what I'm saying? I'm so, you know, I can manage that shit. I can say, okay, I know how to duck it a little bit. When you're fucking, when you're stoning, so you're just standing there getting hit. You know what I mean? Fuck that. It's amazing. I didn't put this together until about a month ago on the podcast. I have a friend that moved here with me, and she's still fucked up. And I thought that after, you know, she saw me get off the powder and get it together and shit. You know, it's amazing, Emilio, that you made one little sacrifice, but so many doors open for you by making one little sacrifice. You know,

it wasn't a sacrifice. It wasn't good for you. It wasn't good for you, bro. It wasn't healthy. It wasn't, it wasn't getting you fucking nowhere. It's amazing when you, you could tell something. Right now, this is what I tell people. Like, listen, man, let me tell you what happened to me. It was such a, it was so mind boggling to stop getting high that you want to close that door plane. It was so mind boggling when I stopped getting high that it opened up all these other avenues. I mean, it just opened up the podcast. It opened up the, you know, going on the road. It opened up my door. It opened up getting married. I did so many things after I stopped getting high. Like it opened so many fucking doors by taking care of this one little fucking problem,

this one little nagging fucking problem that you, unless you take care of it, it's not going to go away. It's going to scratch at you every fucking night. And yeah, you might be able to chuck and jive for three or four months because we all did. You chuck and jive, but you know what? It's always there. There's only one way to fuck with it. And it's just lock the door and turn off the light. But, you know, it's, it's, it's easier to save than to do it. I just wish that when people watch this podcast, they'll listen to whatever the fuck it could be done. And it's a beautiful fucking life out there. People think, bro, if I don't get high, I'm not going to be social no more. Fuck those bitches anyway. Fuck those punk ass bitches. You gotta cut. It's really, it's hard to do, bro.

But let me tell you, this is my thing. You know, you know, when I used to get high, I could say if I bought, if I bought a, say I bought a bag, you know, I'd buy two bags. One bag was for me and you guys can share that. I would always be, I always buy, I always buy it for everybody, bro. But I would buy two. Like I said, whatever it was, it was two bags, it was two dippers. Once for me, you guys share that. That's enough for you guys. I just don't want to share my shit. I bought my shit for you guys just because I was a pig with my drugs. You dig what I'm saying, bro? You know, I was, I was no good at that, but I really was, you know. It's amazing. And now you have to stop. What the point I'm trying to make? Now, the point I'm

trying to make, so when I got clean, my, um, the guy that helped me get clean, he goes, you know what? You gotta cut your friends loose. I go, I can't cut my friends loose, bro. He goes, he goes, you're not going to have to cut your friends loose. He goes, when they come and ask you, let's go party. Just say no, and they'll cut you loose, bro. And you know what, bro? In two, in two weeks, you find out who your friends are. They'll cut you loose. You know what I'm saying? Because I ain't buying for you no more homie. You know what I'm saying? You gotta find something else about my shit. You know what I mean? And you'll find out your friends who are real quick, bro. Real quick. And that's, uh, that's a complete different of a fucking animal.

That's a complete different level of life when you think that, when you realize it was all a party for them. It hurts more than anything in the fucking world. When you guys say, all you guys say, the road is fucked up real quick and get on with your own self. You know what I mean? Because ain't nobody give a fuck at the ambro. But your family really, that's what it is, bro. And all you're doing is hurting them because nobody else gives a fuck. Yeah. You know, like I always say, man, doing time for me was like another fucking day outside. It was when people loved me, came in to see me, had to look at their face, had to sit in the box and look at their face. And I could see they're not pity, but they had this look on their face.

Like you let them down. That's a fucking horrible feeling for me. Anything else that bothered me about prison? Yeah, guys kicking my bed and saying, wake the fuck up, cocksucker. It's whatever time that bothered me. But when my people came to visit me and I had to look at people who cared about me because the people would make the trip of people who care about you. And when they're sitting across from you and they can't touch you and you got a glass in between that fucking hurts, you know, you go back to yourself, take a look at what I did to the people that really care about me. Because the motherfuckers at the bar that you were drinking with, they ain't going to make the hike on a Sunday morning on Monday after they come see you. They're too busy

still. They're out there keeping it down for you. That's what they'll tell you when you get out, right? Bro, we're keeping it down for you, bro. I was running down for you, bro. But you look at it now, bro. Even to now, the same people that have been holding it down for me the past 20 years is my mom, you know, my brothers, you know, saying my new wife, you know, those are the ones are holding it down for me for the ones that are going to take me when I wasn't partying them up, bro. You know, so they were trying to tell me to get clean, you know, and I mean, now they're proud that I've been clean, you know, but they've been there from the get, bro, never left, you know, never left. Is it a struggle for you guys? I mean, I know Joey, I mean, you said, you know,

really get urges. Do you get urges to like do any of that stuff or it's been so long like fuck? You know what, man? You know, my thing is like, I'm an addict for life. I always get urges, you know, but you know what scares me, bro, is that, you know, God has been good to me, bro. He, you know, I believe in God, you know, I'm not just going God, but I'm a God for you, man. You dig? And he, he's giving me so much to spread the word that you know what, don't do this, don't do that to the young kids, the new generation. And if and um, but I'm scared, bro, you dig? God's been he's giving me a gift. And you know what, I'm going to run with it. And if I were to back, you know, slap him in the face, he'll give me that back

candidate that will, that will fuck everything up. You know what I'm saying, bro? So you know, it's uh, yeah, sometimes, you know, like I said, you get hit by life, bro. Sometimes, sometimes you say, man, what the fuck's going on over here? And uh, and sometimes you think about that. Don't get me wrong. You know, I've been there. Yeah. I've been, you know, that's, that was my life for a long time. And uh, then you, like I said, I count counting has been a big thing for me. I look at my boy, I'll fuck him up more than anything else, but I can't fucking my boy and my wife. You know what I'm saying, bro? You can't, it can't, it can't be selfish no more. See, he's selfish, bro. You got to think about how many people you'll hurt, you know,

the big circle. You know what I'm saying, bro? Yeah, because it's, I mean, it's old news now, and there's been more people have done it, but it's the story with Philip Seymour Hoffman, who was sober for 20, some of the years. And then the like, just the story that like, what do you think about when you hear something like that? It's terrible. We know what I see it. I mean, that shit happens, bro. You know, I mean, there's been guys that have been keen 24 years. They said, I'm gonna get high one more time. And that one time they get high, they're done. You know, it's, no, it's happened. It happens a lot more than you could. It's just, it's just that he's known that these other people are not, you know what I mean? It happens more than you know.

It's very sad when you go back. That's why once I go forward, you can't go back. Come back the bike in the fucking ass. Who was your first castling person that cast you, brother? My first casting person was, uh, oh man. Who was the first casting director that casted? And that's fucking, I know, I know it was Renegade was Dick Wolf project. You know what I'm saying? But, uh, that was your first job in a long order or something? No, no, it was a Renegade, bro. You know, Renegade. No shit. Yeah, with the Lorenzo Lamas, the biker show. And here I am doing the biker show all these years later. So before you did Renegades, did you ride a motorcycle? Oh, I've been riding for since I was 14. No shit. Yeah. Since I was 14. Oh, yeah. Okay. All right.

I've been riding for 30s, almost 40 years, bro. So how long were you on Renegades for? It was a two week gig up in San Diego. And, um, it was a good time. And you know, you know, Jesse Body Materials was working with him as well. And he at the time, he was the mayor, not the governor. And he saw me. We know, you know, when you're first on TV, they tapped hard to you. And that's like, it means you're green, you know, the first time you're first gig. So he's looking down, he goes, who's tapped hardly? And I go, that's me, Jesse. And you know, he's a big dude. He picked me up over the shoulder and I was a lot lighter too. And he started bouncing me off his shoulders going, welcome to the sag. It was a nice introduction, bro. It was really cool.

Well, how did you, how did you make the transition from drug addicts for 11 years to being an act, but doing, do you go to acting classes? I did theater, bro. This is what happened when I did stand-up comedy. But the thing what's happened was that I was watching, I always loved TV and cinema, bro. You know, and I would watch these guys trying to play guys like me and I'm thinking, they ain't doing a good job, bro. And so I gave, I said, I can do better than that because they're trying to be me. And I didn't. And at the time it was me and Danny Trejo and, you know, we ran with the ship, bro. We really did. And it just, after three years, I was able to make a living out of it. You know,

it really worked out, you know, it was good, man. How long have you known Danny Trejo for? I've known Danny for about 20 years, bro. Jesus. We were 20 years because we were always, always me and him against each other. It was just me and Danny all the time. And then, and then, and then in Conair, we did Conair in 95 and then, and we were together for three months on the road, you know, because we were filming out of the state, you know, when we went over Nevada. So we really hooked up then. We really became

good friends. And Danny's, as I saw the motherfucker, bro, that's, that's a, I love his stories and he's there. He gives his time. He gives himself a lot, bro. He's a good guy, bro. It's funny. I met him at a NYPD Blue audition summer of 1998. And it was one of the best times I had an audition. He walked from there with the warm-up suit, you know, just to see him and I talked to him and it was just a great conversation. And I saw him when I do the meetings. I do the, the comedy for the shows. And I always see when he walks in for the conventions, everybody treats him and he talks to everybody. He's not Danny Trail. He's just a regular guy from the hood. And that's where you really see what the guy's about, you know, and you, you see his success

and you're so happy. I just watched Machete too on the fucking plane down there. But fuck, that's my boy. You know, I watched it. I giggled for a little while and it's amazing what he's done in this town and what you've done in this time. Thank you, bro. It's been a blessing. And that's the thing is that we come, we come from, we come from, we come from the street, bro. We come from below scratch, you know what I'm saying? And, and, and then we, so we appreciate everything you do. You know what I'm saying, bro? And that's the thing is people appreciate what you got because it began tomorrow that quick. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? And I appreciate, and I appreciate what coming from nothing. I mean, it's, it's, it's been, it's been a blessing

man. It really has been. What, what, what would you have said if like you in the middle of your drug addiction, someone told you the ones that you'd be like, you'd be acting in movies and being, doing a Dick Wolf production? Like what would like, how would you respond to that if someone said that? At the time? Yeah. I was so fucking cocky. I'll say, I know I could. You know what I'm saying? Cause I, I, you know, I used to walk the neighborhood, you know, I'll look what up, but I would always be with dark shades. It'll be two in the morning cops go, you think you're Hollywood guys, right? Motherfuck. I'm high. And then it wants me to knock my dad, bring my, you know what I mean? That's what I've been broken on my face, bro. You know what I'm saying? Cut back to the

cops where there was nobody with cameras filming you and shit. They'll beat the fuck out of you, especially on the East side, you know? Jesus. What was your first big, big project that you said, fuck, I'm on to something here? Con Air, bro, 95, you know, they cut me out a lot of the movie, but I made a chunk of change. And a year later, I was able to buy four homes in my neighborhood, you know, and I never looked back. That was, that was when I quit my day job, you know, and I already had four years clean, you know, I got clean in 90 and a five years clean. And, and I didn't have to work again. You bought four homes in your neighborhood? In my neighborhood. For who? For me and, you know, me and, you know, my one for like, well,

for me, my kids were 70 years, no, 12 and 11. And I bought one. They stayed, I gave them one and I ran it out too. It was good. Oh, shit. Yeah, it was nice. Chappelle wasn't that with you? A lot of people. Oh, yeah. And just before Chappelle, Chappelle, he was funny already. So we were going to his room because Chappelle was a store. He could sell stories, bro. And he would go in there and we would just smoke a joint and then he would just, we all sit down and just listen to his story. He was just talk, bro. And we would just fucking laugh our asses off. And he would say, he would say, I want to be a household name. He would say, I want to be a household name, you know, and sure enough, Chappelle was,

Chappelle got big, bro. But that was back in 95, before Chappelle was Chappelle. You did? How long were you on Conair for? Four months. Wow. That's a great check. Yeah. Yeah, it was a great gig, man. And that's when the movies were the movies. I gave you everything. I'm still, I'm still getting checks now from Conair. Oh, please, they still fucking play that. And then they're still, and they're still decent, you know, because I've got a check for, I did a movie called Me Familiar 20 years ago. I got a check the other day for one penny, bro. I swear to God, I still get checks from Conair $1,500 or $1,000. This is what 15 years later, bro. What were you on Me Familiar? Me and Jimmy Smits, who's working with me on Son of Anarchy.

Now, I meet him, Rob, the store. He brings it back. In the beginning. In the beginning, you know, he put it inside a jar, I go, you fucking know. If I tell you something, that's one of my all time favorite movies. Is that right? Bro, when that little kid jumps on the table, and put his skin on the lawns, and he goes, being chair, whatever, being chair puto, Blanco's, whatever, I fucking lost it the first time I see it. I love that movie. I think it's a beautiful story. I think they did a fucking great job. You know, half the people in the movie were Puerto Rican, but that's all right.

You know, that was the big joke of the movie. Jennifer Lopez, Jimmy Smits. Let me tell you something. That's because I didn't want to speed up this much, but that motherfucker, you know, the last episode last season, it's you and him talking. Jimmy Smits, you know, called him and giving him an ultimatum. Yeah. And it was a great episode. And I'm looking at him episode four from the first season before he came back. When he goes to other friends of mine to forget what his kid is, is he used to be friends of Montoya and he shoots him in the head and he goes, you want me back? I'm back. Hey.

Oh, yeah. And it's amazing how the first time I seen this motherfucker was on the pilot for Miami Vice. Nobody knows that. Nobody knows that. Jimmy Smits was on the pilot for Miami Vice. He's the first cop. He's before the black guy. Is that right? In the beginning there, he's married to a, he plays a Cuban. He plays a Cuban and he's talking about his wife, that the crib and what the fuck are you going to do? And Don Johnson's giving him an ear beating. Then they go to meet a drug dealer and there's a bomb. And they blow him up and they fly him in. It doesn't matter what my point is. That's 1984. It's 2014. Oh, wow. You understand me guys? You know how good fucking Jimmy Smits is?

Do you have any fucking idea how good that motherfucker is 30 years later? 30 years later. Okay. And he, bro, I met him on a Janet Jackson concert. He asked me if I wanted something to drink. When he was on NYPD Blue, I didn't even know me. I was just sitting next to him by mistake. Somebody gave his tickets to, somebody just gave me tickets from the radio station. He went to get up and he goes, can I get you some? I said, sure, water. He brought the fucking water back. Great guy, man. And it's funny because when we did with Familia, he was meeting him, Robert Store together in the movie, and he was wearing a pentagon, bro, don't put it on. And then some lady was trying to cordial, was trying to fix it. I go, that's not the way

where he goes. Listen, he goes, tells the girl, I'm going to go, what do you tell me? He goes, how do you, how do you word this, bro? And he, you know, and it's funny, 20 years later, here we are, working together. I love Jimmy, bro. Jimmy's a great guy, man. He really is. It's, it's amazing that I've been saying for years, like we write people off because they're not a star, but they continually get better just because you don't see him in the show. They're doing movies in Yugoslavia with Armando Sante, who's no fucking, you know, you standing in front of Armando Sante, you better bring your fucking A game. And, you know, so these people continue to get better. Now they come back to TV by some fluke, their number comes back and they come back to TV.

I mean, I don't think he's ever been off TV. Well, he had a show called Kane, which was great show. I don't know why they hit him. Yeah. And he was on Dexter. He was on Dexter. He did a great job on Dexter. He did a great job on Dexter. So you look at this guy and you go, how good is this, motherfucker? How good is this guy that he's still working? He's coming back with another season Sante, which would be free. And then, you know, another thing, I mean, in his character, now I'm really, I'm really digging his character and not because I'm feeling sorry for the guy. I mean, I'm really, I mean, he was trying, yeah, he was doing great. He ran to Gemma, not Gemma's, you know, she's bringing him back into the game, you know, I mean, which he was trying to get out

of the game and I'm feeling sorry for his character, man. I really am. So how important is that to you guys? Like the relationships that you, not, not that you have to be best friends with everybody, but you were with Jimmy Smith. I don't know when me family was made like a while ago. And now you're working together now. 94. If you were an asshole to him on me familiar, or if he was an asshole to you, now when you're working together might not be as nice. Like how, like, do you have to think about that every day? You're not gonna like everybody. Well, the thing that just, you know, and I do though, you know, even if I don't, I do, you did because in this business, bro, one thing that takes you a long way is, is be cool to everybody. You don't know who

the fuck who is, bro. I mean, I just love being nice. You know, it makes it, you got to be together 14, 16 hours, bro. I'm going to be fucking nice because I don't want you to be an asshole because in no sense, because now I got to see you all fucking day for 16 hours. You know what I mean? So just get along, you know, and, and that goes a long way. It really does, man. You know, yeah, man. It does. It makes a lot of money. You know, the first two movies I did, I was a comedian. I want to get that one to shoot because I got shit to do. I got coach to snow it. And it's a fucking horror show. It's a horror show for a guy like me. Maybe for a guy like you like to move. We're in the move. What are we shooting next? And you're like, what the fuck? And then you eat lunch and another

hour and another hour when you like that. You got there five in the morning. Yeah. And then one day it comes to you. Like during the longest shot, I would go into, I'm going in to make a fucking living. A living that 100,000 people in LA would want. Why am I sitting in a trailer mad? Bring your right butt. Bring your book. Bring your notebook. Bring three DVDs. There's a DVD playing in the fucking trailer. You don't have to be bored if you don't want to. It's like a flight. When you take a flight, you're going to fly from LAX to Jake. Don't tell me. It was the longest flight ever. Come prepare. Bring your right power with 600 songs. You know what? Eat a pot chocolate bar for the last three hours. So when you're in the air, you're fucked up. I always do.

I eat a fucking chocolate candy or something when I'm in the air. So for an hour or two, I'm fucked up. I got the pad. You got the book and you got the notebook. Plus they play a fucking movie. What are you bored? What the fuck are you bored? How are you bored? So you're not worried about your, because I have no acting experience at all, but I would think you'd be worried about your lines the whole time. Well, I have a bad memory. I have a bad memory because I did so many drugs. My mind is shocked. Okay. So and I'm one of those guys that I'll be studying my lines till they say action, brother. You know what I'm saying? I got a bad memory, but you know what? But and then I got to act. Not just, it's not just saying lines, bro. You got to fucking act. We

had those nice dig. You got put some bad words. So I'm always like, if I like, I have a, I'm starting a movie in June, I got to the movie on book four in June. I got the script right now. And every day I just look at the motherfucking script. I don't, I don't just put it in solid in my head. But I always read, I read like five pages a night tomorrow. I read the five pages and keep on doing so that way when it comes in, makes it a lot easier. A lot of times you don't have that, that, that it's not that obviously that privileged to do that. A lot of times you today though, how you're doing, you'll be working tomorrow. You know what I mean? And then I really got burned. I mean, burned my brain, but I have a, I do a couple of podcasts and I was doing one

yesterday with a guy we talked about movies. And we were saying, we're talking about how Joey, like you, you might, we're talking about editing and how you're hard to edit for sometimes for comedy. Cause you don't, you never tell the same joke twice, but I'm sure on TV and movies, directors, like you were saying, you, you started acting because the people who were playing you weren't doing a good job. If you don't get the line to the word exactly right, do you ever have a director be like, just say this, how you would say this? Most of them do. They make it, make it your own, you know, it becomes you. But there's a couple of people that you cannot change a fucking thing. There's a couple of, there's some writers who are just like, you know what, I want to hear my

words. And it's like an actor wants us, you want to do your actions? Well, he has his right to hear his words. You dig what I'm saying, bro? You know, but if it's sometimes, if it's not, if it's not the character, I'll argue that. I'll say, wait a minute, I wouldn't say that, bro. That's not my vocabulary. You dig it. And a good writer, a good director will understand that. It's pretty weird. Cause when I do TV, I have a hard time, but I know now at this level that when you do TV, you stick to the word. Exactly. Because that then you don't think it's important, but that then is there for some fucking reason. And also, and mainly on TV with comedy, you got to see to the word, because they're saying of the punch now you dig what I'm saying,

right? So that has to be on point right there. On point when you do a movie, nine out of 10 times, you could add a flavor to it. Yeah. The director will tell you when the treat takes my way, your way and one for the fucking stars. Exactly. Let's rock this motherfucker. And you're done with all the other shit that they wrote already. And they say, Hey, me, don't try one year away. This is what you got. Boom. And it's fun. You know, and usually they'll do the one that you did. You know what I mean? Yeah. Now, do you ever get pissed off? Like, let's say a writer who wants to hear his words is like a guy who looks like me, like a white guy. Needless, he's writing for what your character would say. Like,

why don't you just like, why don't you have me write it or why? Like, do you ever get pissed off at the one that happens when it's like that? I'll just tell him, like, and I do it a lot. I'll say, I wouldn't say that. And I do it very politely, you know, it's because you don't want to hurt your feelings either because you don't want them to kill you off. And you know, and they want you to want you, you want them to write for you down the road as well, you know, and the part of writers are very powerful, bro. And, uh, and they write for that. And they write with your mind, which has been happening lately. And I love it, but it's respect. You know what I'm saying? You got to respect them.

It's, uh, it's really weird when you add a line to something, you know, I'm the same man. I'm respectful of their words, but sometimes, uh, one problem I really had was on the Louis Guzman pilot. Oh yeah, how did that go, man? Louis Guzman was a guy that I looked up to, you know, I'm ugly than him. You know, there's only two ugly Latinos, me and him. That's it. And I got the pilot and I was going to recur and I had the pilot shoot. They gave me a line that said, Hey, Amigo. And I went to the director and I go, not for nothing. There's a hundred and sixty fourth street. Ain't no motherfucking Amigos here, Jack. They don't use this word, Puerto Ricans, bro. He fucking started a war. The director went to the writers and the producers and said, Joey.

And I go, no, no, no, what I said was he wouldn't say Amigo. Louis Guzman came over, he goes, he wouldn't, but we're saying, you know, like he was like, just for the sake of argument, I go, it's not the point. The point is he wouldn't say Amigo on a hundred and sixty fucking first street. He would say something else. And they shot the pilot. Everything was good. And they hired a different cop. Which wasn't you? Which wasn't me. And they showed I can't let the four episodes. I didn't give a fuck. But the point being, because of that, and I said the right way, I was great for that pilot. You know, it was a Julie Asner was one of the Fox pilots I had booked. I was cool till that moment. Up to that moment, I was gone. You know what the producers were

in that movie? That the main producer of Scarface, this was his son, remember he did a couple movies, he did the Carlitos way too. Remember they did the number four? He was the director on that. He was the producer on that because they were telling me, you're going to probably get a role in that, but since they didn't recur me after that, but it was all because of that word. Because you didn't want to see Amigo. And it's funny, he is late, I bumped into the director, the comedy store. Hey, how you doing, bro? It wasn't up to me. They didn't like it. No, it was you. Why are you lying to me? We're at a bar. It's darker. Who cares? So now if you were in the same situation, would you just not say anything?

Yeah, I wouldn't say nothing. I would say nothing if he came up to me and said, how do you feel? If after I said the line, he goes, how do you feel? And I already had it in the cam. The Amigo, I would say, can I shoot it differently? That's how I would do it. Let them decide it. That's how I would do it. Let them decide it editing. Okay, let them decide later. Oh, we like that line. You should have said that already. Say it again. And all of a sudden, you want them over and the writers are like, I like that. Bam, you didn't disrespect them. But if you go in there fighting it, can I try a different way? That's a way to do it. And that's, you know, after 20 years, I've been here 13 years and I've acted fucking in big movies every year

and TV shows. So at that point, I've gotten better. I've improved. I know that when I'm on the set now, you don't have to tell me nothing. When I walk on the set now, you don't have to tell me fucking dick. I have a new series coming out in me 22nd. It's called Gangway. And we have 12 people that are right for that show and some great writers. But channel doesn't mean people don't want to talk. Yeah, after the American Idol finale, it's gonna be great. You know, 9 p.m. But the writers we have there. So it's a mixed group. It's Latino, black and white. And they all got flavor, man. You know what I'm saying? And once in a while, they say something what do you think of me? Do or the last anybody that the cast members,

how can I do this? They go go right ahead. Of course, they talk about it and they go, you know, go right ahead. You know, so that's really cool, man, because, you know, you want to keep it real as possible. So what you did there was not wrong, Joey. You just, I would, like you said, I would try to be Al Pacino. I would have done it one way. I shouldn't have done it. That's how you learn. That's exactly. So I would do it for them. Now, say, can I try one for you now? Can I just try something different, you know? And then you would have probably got your part at the end of the day. You know what I'm saying? That's the way to do it. You learn it with experience. You learn it with experience. Now, this gang related,

you know, I'm a faithful law and law, law and law, sons of anarchy guy, every Tuesday on there at seven o'clock, you know, last season I fucking waited and I waited and I waited and finally I think I called you. So what the fuck, guy? What happened? You're like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm working on a gang related. So and then they put you in the ninth episode, the last episode, the last two episodes. So I was, I didn't know because they cut out even Danny wasn't around no more. Danny wasn't busy, bro. Yeah, man. Yeah, he's always fucking busy now. But it's so funny. You were doing gang related. But now you came in with a movie you shot. So don't go to you. I'm sorry. Waterpower, a movie you shot two years ago. Tell us a story.

It's not a thousand budget, the whole thing. Yeah. It's a movie we did. We did the play six years ago, seven years ago at the Martin Luther Forum. And it was it was well received, you know, it's a very, very good play, bro. And at the time I was playing a different character, you know, Koji Clash, right? Koji Clash, where they were the lead characters in this movie. They liked the movie, I mean, the play. So they made it into a movie in the Amity San Morales and Jesse Borrego and invited to Sundance to workshop it with Rich Montoya, the writer-director. That went good. And then finally we got the funds to do it, man. And, you know, here we are two years later and we're coming out on May 2nd. So it's a real good story, man, about two

brothers. It's a love story. I call it, you know, about what brothers would, what type brothers would do for each other. And one makes the ultimate sacrifice. They do, they fuck up big corruption back in the day. And it comes up by some in the ass. And it's really, it's hard to wrench in that, you know. And I'm again, my guy, the cop, one of the brothers, he's a cop. And I'm in a wheelchair. He shot me in the back. And I'm prioritizing the whole movie. But I'm his eyes in the street and, you know, we're like brothers, you know, bonded by the streets, you know what I'm saying? You know, we're looking out for each other. But we know it's going to be a, not a good ending, you know what I mean? And ultimately, it's not, and it's just really good, man, you know.

And you got Edward James, too. Is that going to produce something? Yeah, man. You know, Eddie came aboard, man. Mr. Edwin James almost came aboard. And he opened that door for us, man. I mean, you know, it's a, you know, it's a small movie, you know, great, well done, though. And Eddie, we had a private screening for Eddie. And he saw it. He goes, you know what, I like this movie, people need to see it. And he got his 20 screens at AMC, man, you know what I mean? And then he just got his huge billboard right there on the five freeway, you know, Citadel, you know, those blinking billboards, he hooked it up, man. You know, so and actually, May 3rd and 4th, I mean, Eddie will be there signing pictures, taking pictures for

three hours. Where's the premiere at? Well, the premiere is going to be right here in downtown. That's just going to be a premiere for, you know, for, you know, the Gloria Molina throwing a nice party for us and stuff, you know. But when we open on second, the 34th will be the Citadel, me, Eddie, Roger, Zommels, you know, taking pictures with the fans, you know, to show our appreciation, you know, that's cool. And this is the sun's last fucking season. And this is the sun's of anarchy. I know I hate it, right, bro? I'm sick to my fucking stomach. That's my Tuesday night. I've already watched the season fucking three times. I can't do it anymore. Exactly. Exactly. I mean, not because I'm on the show, but I'm also a big fan of the show, bro. It's

really bower, didn't it? So has a little bit of everything going on. They got some funny going on. You got to get the love story going on. And it's got this guy, a lot of violence, you know, so I know, man, I'm stuck too. I don't know what's going to happen. No, no, no, no gang related. Gang related is not FX. It's Fox. But you know what? You're going to have your fill of violence. What's it? What's like? What's it about? It's gang related is a cop, a player from one Rodriguez. He grew up in the streets. He was like orphan. And he, my father, I mean, my, my, my, my, my, my, my boss is was an ex gang member. And he bought up the kid, you know, what happened now? He's a big, big time cartel guy. And that guy has, he has two. So one cop is one of his sons,

paper regular Legos is still the gangbanger. Jay Hernandez is the, the banker of the family. And then that one guy, the deal kid, he's a cop now. He works for the, you know, it's the SWAT squad, you know, the police squad for the gangs, right? For the gang until but that's what saves us because he knows all this. He says, don't go here. You know, he's gonna be caught in between, bro. You know, I'm talking about and I'm the hit man for the family. It's really, it's really good stuff, man. I mean, he's caught in between because we're trying to get out and try to make our own everything legit. But we try to do that, bro. They keep bringing you back in, you know, it's really, really good stuff, man. I'm really,

really proud of it. You know, that sounds cool. You're always doing something, bro. You're blessed, bro. I've been blessed, bro, man. So it's been, it's been a lot of fun, man. You're a nice guy, man. People always say good things about you. Every time I see you put a fucking smile on my face. Right on. I see that go to an audition. We go there. It's just like instant laughable. Do you guys go up for the same roles? It seems like sometimes, sometimes. Do we really? Yeah, we've been a few times. Mainly commercials, though. You don't talk about commercials. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you been going out for commercials? I just did a commercial on Sunday with William Shatner, bro. No. He pays a bike, bro. Fucking pretty cool. One of those

price line commercials? Exactly. Yeah, he looks really cool, though, man. So I don't, I have no acting dreams or whatever, but I realize I'm in a role with like two huge actors, like people listening who might want to act. Do you have any advice that you would give? Yeah, I got that advice to give, bro. The thing is, first of all, if you can't go to community college, this is the cheapest way of doing it, bro. Go to community college and take a little stage, take a little acting for the camera because it's a lot cheaper because the schools are really expensive. I'm half of them, bro. It's a rip off. You dig what I'm saying? So see if you can really do it. Get your tape and look at yourself and see if you believe yourself because you can't believe yourself

by what you're talking about. When you see yourself, say, I didn't believe that because you got to make the audience believe you, dig what I'm saying? So let's just start off like that first. What about you, Joey? What do you see? You know, man, I have 10 different schools of thought. I like to play away. My whole thing was I never really did theater, so I would love to go to New York. Like they just did, I just found out they're doing bullets over Broadway in New York. I would love to audition for that. There was something there for me I would have got right off Broadway, fucking whatever, whatever that guy's fucking name is. I wish I would have done things like that. You know, I didn't. I started as an act as a stand-up comic. I went to an acting class in Hollywood

and I did 12 or 13 weeks and I started auditioning. She's very fast. Oh, wow. But it was funny because when I was auditioning in the beginning, there was a lot to audition for and I'm a hustler, so I would buy the backstage and send submissions and audition for college movies. I would leave the store and go up to mountain and shoot a fucking movie from three in the morning to seven for no money and sleep in my fucking car and eat and take the fucking rolls for the morning. I wanted to be a good actor. I knew that standing acting class for 10 years ain't going to do it. You got to do it. It's like anything else. You got to do it. Now,

I go on a set and I'm a bad motherfucker on a set. I can tell you that now I'm so comfortable. You know, I tell about a story. I got General Hospital. If I would have got General Hospital 10 years ago, I would have got five. Have you ever done a soap, John? Yeah, I did all of them. I did. And General Hospital, they don't fuck around. They don't even talk to you. No, but that's also, someone or not, it's not that the acting are bad. It's just that there's no time. There's no time. They'll come into your room and say, here's two more pages. I can only see you in 15. You know, it's that kind of stuff. So it's really, it's no time. They're bad. It's just

that there's no time. No, I didn't say they were bad. I said that because of the years I put in as a regular actor, when I got on a soap, I couldn't believe it that there's no fucking around. If I would have came in here new, if I would have came in here new and not knowing what I know, I would have failed. It's like doing a, it's like when you do a Spider-Man 2, you did Spider-Man 3. When I did Spider-Man 2, it's completely different than doing a $100 day movie. Yeah, because you know, because you know what? You're going to be shooting the same thing over and over and over and over again. I mean, sometimes I don't even get, go, we nailed it in there. So yeah, I just do it 10 more times. You know, it's like great, but it's a different budget.

It's fucking amazing. No, and I'm not even talking about, I'm talking about the guy who opens the door for you. The chick who brings your food in the morning. The chick who brings your clothes. And when you do a fucking $100 day movie, guess who brings your clothes? You do. Guess who irons your clothes? You do. Guess who brings that sandwich? And you gotta go get it. You know, when you learn the differences in different type of movie making, what you and a lot of people, you know, I can't see if I would have just moved here and would have just done a bunch of big movies. That's great. But someday a friend is going to say, Hey, man, I got this movie, $600,000. I want you to shoot it three days and get there. You don't have the luxury to, you better be ready,

brother. You know what I'm saying? It makes you better. It was as good as it makes you better, bro. You know what I mean? Because I remember we did a movie called Road Dogs. One of my favorite movies I've ever made was Road Dogs. And we did it for $200,000. We shot 14 days and we shot a film and we literally, they would be like, it was a big scene. They'll be immediately, look, bro, we only got like 200 feet of film, bro. This is pretty much enough for one take. Are you ready to go like that, bro? And I say, let's go. You know what I mean? Where I work with, I've been blessed to work with Jim Carrey in three different films. You work with Jim Carrey, you're like, he'll do it 26 times, bro. He'll go and he'll watch every playback. He'll do it and he'll come

back and go, he'll watch it. Okay, I'm going to try something different. Oh, Jim, don't worry, I'll pay for it. Jim Carrey's a bad, I don't know that guy. I grew up loving him, like Ace Ventura. He's the best, bro. He's the best. I auditioned for that with you. That was that, uh, Bruce Almighty. Yes. It was supposed to be a two-day gig trying to be six weeks, bro. It was beautiful, man. Really? It was beautiful. Jim Carrey is a good guy right there. A two-day gig that became six weeks. How about you, people? You going for your job? You're going to work with Jim Carrey. You got another first day. You do the job. Then as you're leaving, they go, can we talk to you for a second? Yeah. Are you available next week? And you know what's so good? Check it out. This is how cool

he is, man. He, uh, you know, I was done, I was done on a Friday, but I had to go to Mexico because I was filming The Shield, you know, so, um, on a Monday. And, uh, so they called, they called on Friday night going, Jim Carrey needs me to go back for one more day and they'll pay for him. And, um, and so we had to work it out with The Shield and Shield because I wasn't going to film on Tuesday. So we came back and do the little reshoot on Monday and he offered me his helicopter guy to fly me to, to, um, to TJ, bro. Right. And so, and then my friend, Ronald, Rolando Molina was working on me. He goes, dude, dude, bro, that's daddy's cycle. Yeah, but I don't like no helicopters, bro. So, you know what he did? He got me, he got me a chauffeur limousine and he

chauffeured me. He had somebody drive me over there, but he actually offered me his helicopter. Can you ride around it with a helicopter? Does he really? Oh yeah, bro. That's why he gets around. Is that cool or well, bro? God damn. He goes, Jim, Jim, Mr. Carrey, I really appreciate you came back today, you know, to change the schedule for him. So he went, he offered you. So it was really cool, man. I turned it down, but he needs to get me a car, you know? You know what, man? I mean, being here for a few years, I've met some people and some of the people who you hope are nice aren't. It's nice when like, I've loved Jim Carrey since I was a little kid. It's nice to know that when like he's made millions and he's still like, he can be like a cool guy.

Like, you know, he would hate to have him in an asshole. Exactly. You know, we know, on our breaks, bro, he, you know, it's bad guys who just go straight to the trailer. He'll come on, like we're hanging out. He'll come on and he would do impressions for us, bro. He's so good, bro. You know what I mean? Were you ever at the store when he was there? Because he was definitely a very little amount of time, right? Yeah. Never. I've never seen him anywhere. Never. Never anywhere. I wish. You know, I love to say a fucking, when I saw A's mentor, I nearly shit my pants all over the house, but it's, let me give some shout outs real quick here, real quick. My main man, Michael Silva,

fucking Susan Marie Rasmussen, Bill Downey, Jewish Lightning, Sean F. Kennedy and my man Oscar Nunes down there in fucking Fort Lauderdale. He came to all these shows, he told me to give him a shout out. He came to all the shows, oh shit. Came to like three of the fucking shows. Also, our sponsors nailed their life. You bad motherfuckers. Vapor pens, Los Gumbis and mono on it. I can't tell you, they just sent me another box of shit. The Alpha Brain, I'm back on it on Monday, but the Shroom Tech, that's what I took this morning, I did that kettlebell workout. It was fucking deep, dawg. I did 10 swings of like 15th to 17th with four. I've never done that shit before. I was huffing and puffing. I thought I was gonna

have a heart attack. I did cleaning jerks. I did five squat up the set to clean jerks. And I tell you, I'm getting a little better shape, but it's a fucking Shroom Tech sport. That shit, those mushrooms, that shit gives you some fucking energy. Go to audit.com, pressing the code word. Church, are you fucking kidding me or what? C-H-U-R-C-H. Get 10% off and if you stay with audit and do the audit by the month, they give you 20% off and it gets delivered right to your door. Also, it's the weekend. You want to look sharp. You want to shave your face. You want to shave your fucking monkey. Everything's got to be beautiful. Dollar Shave Club, that's how they do it. Dollar Shave Club, it's tremendous. No more rusty razors. You don't got to stand at some pharmacy online

with 10 fucking people who smell like hummus and wait to go through the line. None of that bullshit. You order it. You go on joeydeas.net. You go to the Dollar Shave Club box, press in. Church. Boom. C-H-U-R-C-H. You go to fucking Dollar Shave Club and you pick the program you want. A dollar, that's right. A dollar. Six dollars. Yeah, that's right. Six dollars and eight dollars. Nine dollars. You can pick your pack. Nine dollars. Go in and throw it up because one dollar, six dollars, nine dollars. It gets mailed right to your house. Nice heavy duty blades. If you want to stamp something, somebody sent me an email today saying that I was correct. That the fucking things are heavy. You could hit somebody in the head with

a fucking new truck and break them if a burglar comes into your shower. Plus, you got the double blades with the allotip. Plus, they got the one-wipe Charlie's that you could order on the side for his little certain extra month. Plus, they have the cocoa butter shave. Go to Dollar Shave Club club. Not tomorrow. Not next. Today. Cock sucker. And press in. Church. Boom. C-H-U-R-C-H. Get your life together. It comes delivered right to your door. Also, Nature's Box. Tremendous. They sent me another box and they put the cocoa almonds in there. They were gone during the whole fucking episode of, I don't know, take me to your mother. Me and my wife devoured. Have you ever had Nature's Box? They're fucking snacks. Nutrition fucking picked. Whether you get the sesame sticks. Whether

you get the rice sticks. Whether you get the black and white granola. Whatever you do, it's fucking murder. You understand me? Tremendous. Go to naturebox.com on the joeydeers.net. Take it, Lee. Joey. Joey. J-O-E-Y. That's right. Again, J-O-E-Y. Get 50% off your first order. I ain't fucking around. 50% order. And after that, you go back to prices and you'll guarantee your order more every goddamn month. That's how we do it here at the church. What's happening now? What else you want from me? Nailed the life on it. Dollar Shave Club and who else? Nature's Box. That's how we do it here at the church. What's happening now? You know what I'm saying? Did you see what Jordan Lee put on Facebook today? He called into the podcast for when he did his first SAG gig today.

He was a hand model. A hand double. Did he really? Yeah. So he did his first SAG thing. Some kid called. I know this kid. He's been bugging me. He sent me an email. How do I do it again to acting? Everybody asks you in this town and you see him a year later and they're fucking sweeping. You're like, what happened to acting? It was hard. This motherfucker stuck it out. Good. And I had him call in and he called. He emailed me and he goes, can I call you? I go, yeah. He goes, I'm eligible for SAG. But everybody's telling me not to join SAG. Why be an actor if you're not going to be SAG? Yeah. Well, the thing is, watch what happens on this part of that because people ask me all the time. If you're SAG eligible, there's a lot of stuff that's non-union out there that pay pretty

good still. Plus, you're going to need tape. And see, these are non-union stuff and get that tape. Because nowadays, if you don't got a real bro, it's pretty tough to get an agent. You know what I'm saying? So and if you're just getting in SAG, if you pay ready to get in, just now you're going up against 100 guys who've been in SAG for a long time who are very experienced. You dig what I'm saying? And it's going to be hard. You're going to be competing against them, but you need that demo. We want to get an agent. Now, how are you going to get an agent? If you don't got a demo real, how are you going to get into an audition if you ain't got no agent? There's a catch 22, bro. You know, so if I say, if you don't have to get into SAG, because then if the second gig,

if you get another SAG gig, you got to get in regardless. You dig? But I say, don't get in until you have to get in and get and get some of that non-union stuff, bro. Because once you're sad, you're not doing no more non-union stuff. You're digging them out. You better not be doing it. So yeah, you need that demo. Get a real man. Get a fucking real because it's hard to get an agent without it because that's the first thing. Let me see you real. Send me a real. What can I see you real? That's, that's not about resume. Every fucking night's on the resume anyway. You dig? Let me see what you're doing. That's amazing. I never thought. Yeah, you can, people used to ask me for my real for stand-up comment. I'd send them a blank tape

and they'd say, it was fucking great. When can I hide it? It's funny, bro. Mark Babin Houston kept abusing me. Me and Freddie sold on each tape. He kept up Freddie. He got it. So Freddie, Joe, you got to send them tape. Yeah. So let me try something because I knew it was a power game because when you go to a club, they'll have all the tapes on top of the TV with dust on them. And I sent them a tape with nothing on it. He called me back a week later. That tape is fucking funny as shit. Can I book your fuck? Yeah, he booked me a feature. I went to a casting and I won't say anything because we all know each other's comics. You know, I've done comedy. You don't mean to annoy everybody that we work together on stage. And I went to an audition,

man. And there was two of my friends demo tapes. There were comedy tapes that were sent in and they were just in the trash. And I said, did you watch those funny guys? Man, they go, we didn't have time to watch it. They were just like, but you know, have you ever had a headshot on the tape? You know, this is before the DVDs. It was, you know, a big old VHS, you know, I felt kind of bad, bro. That's what kills me because I, like, I just started doing this full time and not applying the jobs. When you're applying to jobs out here, even though I was in editing, if you don't apply within the first hour of the posting being up, it doesn't matter how good you are, or if you don't know somebody, it just

can get thrown away. So it's, that's, that's submissions, bro. Yeah, that's tough. And it's tough being the person hiring too. Like, like, I can't imagine having a, getting all those submissions and, and you find your person, but then there's still 800 people who applied. Well, just like you, even when there's cash, you know, it's the same thing with casting, like they already know sometimes who they want, but they put the word out. So you still gotta see these 30 people where they, that's us because they already know who they want already. You do, you know what I'm saying? It's, it's really weird sometimes when you go into an audition, they already know. They know they already have an offer out just in case, you know, that's great.

That's something, you know, sometimes you go to those things, you do really well and something else really happens. Okay. You'd be surprised how many people go to an audition and they're not really prepared. You'd be surprised how many people don't know the game and they go to auditions to get opportunities to go to big auditions in front of big casting people. I know I was that guy, I got put in front of some, I remember I kept, they kept calling me into NYPD blue. I booked a baseball and they kept calling me in. I went in for some one day and it was nine fucking pages and dog. I fumbled every page and they were like, Joey, that's it. You gotta get it together. You gotta take an acting class. Yeah. And I came back and they booked me again. Like

they liked me. They booked me for a pilot. NYPD blue 2069. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. New York and 2060. Yeah. I played the, yeah. I played the guy at the corner computer that was selling downloads for you to put, it was like, what a new stand guy would do. But they, but they, but they hired you though. They hired me. See they, they, they saw something in you already, bro. You know what I'm saying? You just had to do the work though. Nine out of 10 times that somebody was mad at me once and I wrote him a letter and he see me. Amen. You know, you have to think outside the box for a longer shot. They didn't want to see me. And I sent the fucking, I went to Houston, made my own tape. I put a football helmet on with a tight shirt with my stomach hanging out. And I sent

them forgettable cow. You seem that's the fucking doing this business. You have to, if you want a job, if you want a job, a thousand people are going to go into that room and say the same shit. That's why when I go to an audition, I always sign a little late and I sit and sit by the door because I want to hear everybody doing this shit. I want to go on there and do what they're not doing. That's the, that's the key, bro. Do what they're not doing because they don't go fucking. This guy's independent. I remember taking my pants off from the audition. They sat there, hold on Joey. They turned around. I kept looking. I didn't think about it till I got to the audition. The neighbor had the guys, the guys, they got a fucking one of those neighbors that's white trash.

He's in front of this house with a kid pool with his wife. They don't even have a kid and he's got a thong on and he's outside with a hose. And the neighbor looks over and he goes, it's a beautiful world, you know, something like that. And I went in there and said, what are you fucking crazy? I had sweatpants on and tidy one. He said, I'm going to take my fucking underwear off of my shirt off before they even know what's going on. It was like God was in the room. I walked in and they go, hi Joey, great to see you. Hold on, give us one minute. And when they turned around, I took the shirt off and the sweats fell right off and I came back out and I go, you ready? And they go, hold on. And when they turned around

there, I wasn't these tidy whiteies. And they started laughing. That's the first thing they were like, what the fuck? And then the line that they gave me, fuck you. I yelled and go, yo, living like a doctor. And that was it. That's the line they used. It was over. Fuck it. They were like gone. When you walk out, you know, you took the hair out of the room. I never forgot about that. I never forget your character in that movie. So hilarious, bro. So you always want to see, you wanted to see more of you, bro. And it was fucking because I didn't know nothing. How long were you on there for? 17 weeks. I didn't know nothing about nothing. I didn't know nothing about acting. I just knew that I was fucking crazy and I had to put that into the role. And

you know, they hired me for four weeks first. And then they came to me after the fat scene on the track and they're like, dog, you got to sign a contract. We're keeping you for the whole thing. They had different, they had different, they were going to like leave me at the prison or something was going to happen to me. You had to stay there. And they made me stay. So I was very happy. And I'm very, it's on every night on Showtime. People hit me up with every night the last two weeks. And it did well at the box office. Yeah, no. I went up for that role. I was up for that. And it was at the end, it was between me and my boy Lobo. And Lobo got it. That's right. Lobo, Lobo. Lobo was a lot of fun. You know, man, I've been very fortunate also. I came here as a stand-up

comic with felonies. I was just killing fucking time. And all of a sudden I took it into my own hands. I knew how to get pieces to get my stand up up. And I kept booking stuff. And it's been quite a journey. I never fucking knew I'd be in movies. But I've been watching you forever on stage, bro. And you know, one of the funniest motherfuckers out there, bro, he really is. Because he just don't give a shit. He just don't give a shit. You know, he don't have no sets set. I mean, you don't have like a, it don't seem like it, at least like he has a set up. He's going to do what he's going to say. He just goes up there and just does it. You know, it's beautiful, man. That's, you know, man, I do my set, how I live my life. Fucking go up there, take a chance,

Columbus. So this movie comes out May second, May second. Yeah. And it's really, I mean, everybody's been, you know, being real supportive man. If you can check it out. We got, like I said, what happens is real important the first weekend because if nobody goes, they pull them from the theaters, man. And what's the name of it? A water and power. Water and power. AMC. And if you go on my Facebook or my Twitter, I have all the places where it's going to be showing you those 20 theaters, you know, and trying to fill them up, you know, and there's going to be, I'm going to visit eight theaters that weekend, whoever's like selling out the pads, being the cast members going to pull it up and we're going to sign autographs to go out some posters and so try to get out there, man.

It'd be great. Now what, uh, it's going to be in studio city in North Hollywood. Yeah, it's going to be at the city walk for sure over here. We got a city walk up here. So it'll be AMC in North Hollywood up there, victory. It's going to be there. That's a good movie theater. Like little thing. It's cheap. Let's have a fucking party up there. And it's really cool that AMC is doing it because like, especially for like movies like that, you might, most people might never get a chance to see it. But AMC is trying to do that. AMC played Shawshank Redemption the other day and I didn't have time to go see it. They did, huh? Yeah, they put it up in Burbank, but it's like, for people watching or listening, go support this, even if like you don't know anything about the movie,

just so someday another movie can get in. Cause like all these movies, all these shitty movies that are coming out nowadays that are in for eight weeks and Anchorman two and all that. If you support these kinds of movies, AMC is going to say, okay, we can make money with this. This one, and this one, it has a great story, man. It's a touching story. And if you're about the family, it's something that you would do for your brother and vice versa, if he's a good brother, you dig what I'm saying? I mean, they take it to a little bit to the extreme. I mean, I can't say what happens, but it's really sad, man. It really is. But they fucked up. And like you say, whenever you fuck up, it's bound by, you know, when your life is at its peak, when it's

great, that's when it comes down. Is there a website for the movie? Oh yeah, there's a water empowered film on Facebook. They have a, I don't know about the website. Let me check. What is called water powered film? I'm happy. I'm happy. And if you look at the trade, the trade, the trade is really good. And I not only I started the movie, I also narrate the whole movie, bro. Oh, cool. Now, did you have anything to do? I know you said it was a play, but are you producing it? Or I want to produce it in the movie as well. What's it like to start and do that now? Not just that's a lot of work, bro. Yeah, a lot of work. You know, it's a lot of work. And then it's, I mean, I'm doing one of the podcasts, a radio station, TV show every day,

just about it seems like, you know, but I'm digging, I love to work, but I'm happiest when I'm working, you know, and so I'm good with it, you know, I'm ready to go. So yeah, they don't have a website that doesn't look like, but it's all it is on Facebook, water and power film, water and power film, and also on Twitter as well. I'll tell you what theaters it's at. And we'll be at the MC and Burbank as well, bro. We get all the good theaters, which is nice. You know what I mean? That's really, so for people to just look, okay, oh, this guy did a bunch of good movies. So like just for people who let go for directors, the same guy who did Nacho Libre, he did Larry Crown, he did a bunch of cool. So this is like, this he did Encino Man.

Yeah, he's a, he's a writer for coaching. He's the main guy in coaching class. Three of them is Richard Salinas, Rick Salinas, Richard Montoya, who's a writer and Greg Hibber. He's been around 25 years now, bro. Funny cats, man. That's really cool. So there's not a humor and there's not a humor in this, but you know, with humor comes, you know, the drama, you know what I mean? It's like life, bro, you know? Absolutely. Emilio, man, you know, I love you. You're one of my favorite people in the fucking world. No, Joe, you're always from the get, bro. I'm happy you came down. You know, I wanted to get you on there to talk about the movies. So these people from the church, you know, when the grudge match came out, I had a more meet me Christmas night and like 60

people met at the movie theater. That's about it, bro. So as the movie gets closer, we'll make more announcements on it. And thank you, Joe. Emilio, man, I love that you came down here today. You're gonna have to do this. You last a real fucking moment. No, you know what, man? I want to, you know, give it up to Joey, man. This guy from the get, we've always, you know, we've hit it off in the beginning. We first met. We support each other over the years, man. And anytime I call Joey for anything you say, come on down. And then that love, bro, you got to read back from me. You know that, right? Thank you, brother. Thank you. I love you too, man. So the church of what's happening now, like I said, this weekend, I'll be in Tempe and next

weekend I'll be in Dr. Grins and Graham Rapids, the 10th through the 12th. I'll see you motherfuckers on Monday morning. Lee, what are you doing this weekend? Lee is coming to Tempe this weekend. He'll be with us Thursday, Friday and Saturday. He's getting on stage. He's doing 18 minutes. He's eating goomy bears. That's gonna happen. I love you guys. Stay black and have a great fucking weekend. Thank you again, Emilio. What a power. Don't forget Conn Stuckers and Sons of Anarchy the last season next year. And do you have a Twitter? Oh yeah, Emilio DiVeta 48. And also my Instagram is the same and I have my fan page on Facebook, Emilio DiVeta. Awesome. And I'm Lee Syed. Don't forget to sign up for dollarshaveclub.com. You get high quality razors

sent to your door each and every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Go to dollarshaveclub.com forward slash church or just go to joeyds.net and click on the dollar shape club banner shows also sponsored by nature box. Remember to go to nature box order great tasting healthy snacks at 50% off snack smarter in the new year with healthy and delicious treats like everything bagel chips and baked sweet potato fries support this podcast and get half off it your first order go to nature box.com promo code Joey that's nature box.com promo code Joey and thank you to nailed it life.com use promo code Joey Diaz and get 20% off of the best vapor pen on the market with so much drama in the lbc it's kind of hard being a snooty double gene but

somehow some way keep coming up a funky yeah shit like every single day may I kick a little something for the cheese and make a few wins as I bridge through two in the morning and the party still jumping cuz my mama at home I got bitches in the living room getting it on and they ain't leaving till six in the morning so what you want to do shit I got a pocket full of rubbers and my homeboys do too so turn off the lights and close the doors but for what we don't learn and so we don't smoke a house to this jeans up hose down why you motherfuckers bounce to this laid back with my mind on my money and my money on my mind going down the street talking in the living room laid back with my mind on my money and my money

on my mind I got me some sequence gene everybody got their cups but they ain't chipped in not as tight as shit happens all the time you gotta get yours before I gotta get mine everything is fine when you're listening to the DOG I got the folk debate and music that be captivating me who listens to the words that I speak as I take me a drink to the middle of the street and get to back up to this bitch named shape she used to be the homeboys lady or at this 80 degrees when I tell that bitch please raise up all these in uts because you get none of these at ease as I bond with the dog down feel the breeze be eye-chubb just going down the street talking in the living room laid back with my mind on my money and my money

on my mind going down the street talking in the living room laid back with my mind on my money and my money on my mind later on that day my homie dr drake came through with a gang to tangle and a fat ass jay of some bubonic chronic that made me choke shit this ain't no joke I had to back up on forbidding sit my cup down tangle rain and chronic yeah I'm fucked up now but it ain't no stopping I'm still popping straight got some bitches from the city of Compton to serve me knock with a cherry on top because when I bust my nut I'm raising the box of cops don't get upset girl let's just let go I don't love you home some of the dope in our feet rolling down the street talking in the living room laid back with my mind on my money and my money on my mind rolling

down the street talking in the living room laid back with my mind on my money and my money on my rolling down the street talking in the living room