Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #167 - Peter Segal, Joey Diaz, and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: April 9, 2014

Director Peter Segal calls in to talk to Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for 50% off your first order. Naileditlife.com Use promo code joeydiaz to get 20% off of the premier vapor pen on the market. Recorded live on 04/08/2014.  

This show is sponsored by Dollar Shave Club. Get a high quality razor sent to your door each and every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now go to dollarshaveclub.com slash church. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash church. Or just go to joeideas.net and click on the Dollar Shave Club banner. This show is also sponsored by Nature Box, where you can order great tasting healthy snacks right to your door. Snacks murder in the new year with healthy and delicious treats like Santa Fe corn sticks and french toast granola. Support this podcast and get 50% off of your first order. That's half off of your first order. Go to naturebox.com promo code joey. That's naturebox.com promo code joey. And for all of you oil and wax smokers out

there, check out the premier vapor pen on the market at naileditlife.com. That's naileditlife.com. Don't forget to enter the discount code joeideasnowspaces and receive 20% off of your first order. Crank that up, Lee. Oh, shit. We're back, bitches, like Aerosmith in 76. They wrote them off, but we're back. Tuesday, April 8, 2014, the day the devil was buried at sea and they stepped on his fucking head and left him there. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Oh, shit, crank that motherfucker, Lee. Are you kidding me or what? A little special edition church this morning. Sorry about this. I'm going to have to travel

on this week and this is how it pans out. But you don't have to worry about that. All you have to worry about is being here, bitches. Let's do this. Lee, what's happening, you bad motherfucker? Now that I feel the only good thing about edibles is you sleep like a baby. I told you that, though. I've been telling you that for years. My dad called me at nine o'clock and I was out. I had to call this morning. He's like, why didn't you pick up the phone last night? I was like, you call me at nine o'clock and I had a podcast with Joey Diaz. I was out. Yes, I was out at nine. I got up at 3.30 from the anger. I had anger in my heart. I woke up to pee and all of a sudden it hit me what had happened yesterday. You know, we moved to this

office. As you know, I don't smoke pot since February 17th. We move in here and every day we got accused of smoking pot or being loud of talking dirty. Listen, man, I went home and thought about it. Our money's as green as everybody else in this fucking office. And the guy ran through it to us. He knew what the fuck this was. This was a podcast, okay? If they get insulted by the language is 2014 and Cuba is 90 miles away from Florida. So that ain't gonna work for you. We're not smoking pot. They threaten us by calling the cops. They can't throw us out. I call my attorney. I called the renters bureau yesterday. We're here to the 30 first or whatever the fuck we decide to get the fuck out. They want to take us to court. I'll sit here to my ass grows,

fucking roots. You understand me? I don't give a fuck, ruin my credit. I had ruined credit before, but I proved my motherfucking point. So this is what it is. This is how we talk and this is how the church, what's happening now is all about. Okay. And that's it. I know it's hilarious. So that's someone she knocked. I totally shut the fucking door because I don't give a fuck. One thing people don't really, really, really understand in this society when the podcast, well, not you guys, you guys listen to this podcast because you know what time it is. But a lot of people don't really know one thing about me that the end of the day, I really don't give a fuck. I really don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck about these comics

that don't like me or the cat or whatever. Don't like me or like me or whatever. I really don't give a fuck because I'm still going to sling dick. Okay. Before I was a comedian, all this dumb shit, I was a fucking man. And when I was a man, when I walked in a room, my dick was always the biggest, even if it wasn't, you understand me? So I don't give a Frenchman's fuck about anybody or respect or nothing like that. I'm a great guy to a point and then it gets fucking dark on your fucking ass. So to me, you know, I'm a nice guy. Yeah, we can have a great time and stuff. Don't knock on my fucking door when I'm doing the podcast. I don't give a fuck how insulted you are about the language or whatever. It's 2014. If you're a Christian, put a tambourine on your ears.

I don't give a fuck. This is how we do it in the church of what's happened now. And if you're not living your life like that, then you got a fucking problem. If you give a fuck about somebody, then you got problems. Okay. So I'm here doing my thing. The church is back. It's Tuesday, November 8th. What's happening with you? Nothing, dude, I feel great. It's, I'm just, I don't know. I thought they just knocked. So it took me out of it. No, no, I wish I was more like that. There's a, there's part of me that I'm always very reserved. You have to be reserved to a point to a point, but you have to be a gentleman to a point. Like to me yesterday, they were talking out there and they were like, because you pay the rent. So like,

we're not saying you do what we're saying. Your employee does it. And I'm just sitting in here high. So I couldn't say anything. But when I was homeless that I was, I was like, what the like, first of all, I'm in here and I'm not smoking. Second of all, just because you don't think I'm here, you couldn't insult me because you don't see me. Like that's, that's kind of bullshit. So, you know, and then I understand Felipe was loud yesterday and he kept being loud and he kept continuing to be loud. I thought he would have the sense to lower it after the lady knocked, but that's why I love Felipe because he don't give a fuck either. So we're all one big happy family. Yeah. You know, and yeah, Lee, you know, man, we're all built differently. When I was a

little kid, I used to worry a lot about things. In fact, I got an ulcer at 19. I was shitting blood at 19 because I was worried about everything. I was a little scared kid. And then I figured, what are you scared about? You got to go for your life. People, you don't want man, people going to get their feelings hurt. We had to do to make an album that you're gonna have to break some eggs all the time in life. And if you sit around worrying about people who gets insulted, who doesn't get insulted, that was my promise to stand up comic for years. That I would go on stage and see all these people and I'd prejudge myself on what they were going to like and what they're not going to like. You know what? It's your fucking world. Either they like it or they

could walk the fuck out. It's that simple. You said that on Saturday night in Jimmy, though, there was a couple right there who you were like, if I had seen them before, I would have got nervous. And then they were the ones who give you the biggest hug. The biggest hug. So why are we preempting ourselves? Listen to people in life. You're going to piss people off. You're going to make people upset. I had a situation happening on that one. I had a dear friend of mine bring somebody who was a fucking enemy around me. Where I came from, your enemies become my fucking enemies. That's the way I was raised. This new Pepsi generation, they think it's cool. Well, I'm hanging on with this guy now. I call the guy in the back and tell him, hey,

don't bring this dumb motherfucker around me ever again. On top of that, he was giving out my fucking shirts for free this fucking moron who I can't stand this fucking guts. And it's like people get insulted because you call them out in this fucking society. No, man, don't bring fucking people I don't like around me at all whatsoever. And if you get insulted, then you shouldn't be my fucking friend either. You know what? I got three people to fucking answer to. My daughter, my wife, and God, whoever the fuck that is, and Lee part time. So beside that, you got a long road ahead of your fucking with me. You know, you really do, Lee. I mean, not Lee. I mean, anybody in any situation, because I really at the end of the week, guys, I don't give a fuck

about agents, about none of these people, about Hollywood producers, directors. At the end, they could all suck my dick. I'm very nice to a degree. Haha. Nice to see you. But once you cross the line with me in any facet with a friend, a thought, you know what? You got yourself a fucking nightmare. I'm not going to beat you up. I'm too old to fucking beat you up, but I'll make your life a fucking living nightmare. So that's it. Plain and simple. I hope you enjoy it. What's up with you, baby boy? For me, baby is a fucking he's crazy. I love it. It's a, you know, what for me? Like I, I'm, I never got an ulcer. Like I never got to that point, but I do get nervous a lot. So like, you know, that's why I had to play fucking. I wanted me around after just to

calm me down. But it's like, I don't, I don't know. It's, there's not much I would change about my like, like I was saying to somebody that right now, this is the happiest I've ever been. Like in college, it wasn't high school. Like right now is probably the best time of my life. But there are a few things I'd like to change. I'd like to get in shape, but I would love to be I've always been the guy who, if someone was mean to me, I think of a comeback later that night or something. And I would never say it. And I always, I'm always in my head. That's why you, when you say you stop stuttering, it's like, I think everything out, I think everything out too. And then it's, no, but it's, I don't feel bad about it. But when I think everything out,

it can't come out fast enough. So that's why I would love to, it'd be great if you could practice that somehow, like practice, like yelling at people. It's a compassion. It's not, it's not, you don't practice, you just, it's sticking up for yourself with a degree. For years, I didn't stick up for myself. For years, I gotta tell you something. My first, from 97 to 2006, while I was addicted, I didn't do anything. When I was on drugs, I didn't do anything because God forbid. But that was part of my addiction, dealing and not being able to say what I wanted to say. When I went into a casting office, people didn't think they could say whatever the fuck they want to say when you're doing a movie. People could say what the fuck they want to

do. You know, last night saw the end of the longest yard. I don't know if it's been on showtime a lot lately when I was switching the channels, I had my daughter, and it was just the last scene when Adam Sandler's going to go pick up the ball and the guys want to shoot him. And if you guys noticed, I was in that whole fucking movie, but they put me all the way at the end. They didn't even put me with the players. They put me at the cons. That's what producers do to you when they want fuck with you. When they're angry about you, if you watch A League of their Own, that girl was in that movie that did Bad Boys. She was one of the leads in League of her Own. Tia Maria, Tia, if you look at the IMDB, she must have had a problem with a director, a producer, because they cut all her

lines out and they showed her like four times. The same thing with Paul Rodriguez and Ali. If you watch Paul Rodriguez and Ali, they cut them out of everything. They didn't even give him a fucking line in the movie. With the longest yard, the problem with me was there was a producer named Jack Geriputo, and the guys got a thousand fucking gambler. I don't know what the fuck he got. One day he said something, I said something to him, and it must have escalated. Yeah, I was doing blow when I was doing that fucking movie. Not on the set. I was doing blow at night, but that's what they used to justify there, whatever. I had a problem with Jack, and I could tell us if he hears the podcast and I don't give a fuck about him or what a fucking thing he is.

And so the way to punish me, he couldn't cut my scenes out because Paramount would have said, what the fuck, this guy's throwing heat. So his punishment is to take me off the box cover. If you've seen, I came out in the first box and they replaced me. They took me off the poster, and then he took me off. So just so you people know, that's what really happened. Me, I don't give a fuck. I'm in the movie. I'll be in the movie forever. Jack is what, a whore. He's just a producer that uses somebody else's talents and makes millions. So I don't give a fuck. That guy will burn in hell eventually. That's what they all do. Now, were you that way? Were you quiet because of the way your mom was? The reason I think I'm more reserved is my dad, unless to accept my mom,

but mostly my dad, if he felt like someone was disrespecting him in a restaurant, it would be go from zero to 70. And your father too? Oh yeah. Yeah, me too. So that's why I feel like, for me, that's why I'm more quiet because it made me feel uncomfortable as a kid. And I mean, now I wish I could do it, but it's just, I feel like that's maybe why I hold back. Sometimes you have to speak your mind. You have to stick up for yourself in this life. It's very, very, very important. And you notice what happens when you don't. You go home and it eats away. Yeah. It eats away. You have to stick up for yourself in this life from day one. And sometimes it could get ugly, but if you're really sticking up for yourself and you're really telling the

truth, it will never get ugly. If you really tell the truth, it will never get ugly. You know, even after you go home, you'll, that person will think about who called you and apologize. That's what happens. The truth is the truth. Some people don't like to fucking hear it. And when you tell somebody, they get insulted with you. And this society that we live in out here is very sensitive. If somebody does something, you say something, you got two options here, they get mad here, they call the cops on you. That's their answer for everything we call the cops. Cops can't be there all the time. That's Nicole Simpson. Cops can't be there for you all the time. Yeah. You know, so I don't know what the big deal is. Deal with it. You deal with it.

There's a man, you deal with it. As a human being, you deal with situations. You know, it doesn't all have to be a fight or a punch or a threat. When somebody tells you the truth, it hurts. But after you realize it, it doesn't hurt no more because they're helping you. Yeah. So if you get mad at somebody for telling you the truth, shame on you. And that's what most people do in our society. They get mad when somebody tells you the truth. And I'm one of those, I've been mad at people. But then after I've gone home and think about it, I'm not mad no more because I understand where they were coming from. You know, somebody asked me a question about a month ago about somebody being a thief. Not a joke, just a thief. And I told them before,

I could say that, I have to know for sure, because I know what it is to call something, to be called a thief. When you're not. I know what it is to be accused of something when you're not. Like I told you guys last week with the Ligio story, you know, I thought I wrote a thousand things. I never wrote the Ligio story. They could tell that story or they weren't some people going to believe it because the situation, I put myself in that situation, but I could care less what they think or what they feel or you know what I'm saying. So that's how you have to think as a human being yourself. You have to stick up for yourself or I'm going to, first thing, I'm going to teach my daughter, stick up for yourself, open your fucking mouth, especially

for these Hollywood little fucks out here. You have to say something because they think because they made a movie that directed at that better than you. And they put their pants on one leg at a time, bro. And my addiction got beat. Not because I'm better than anybody else, not because God touched me. My addiction got beat because I became a man. I fully devout and I remember in my life what was important and what I was going to do and what I wasn't going to do. That beats addiction all the time, whether you're a man or a woman that's coming up and being a man and going, this is not what I'm going to do no more. You know, when you're addicted to drugs, it's something that you're not happy. It's some type of unhappiness or some type of pain

or something like that. And it could be associated with people. Like for me, it was associated with swallowing shit when I first moved here. You know, you're not going to Montreal and you got to see these people and be nice. You don't like me. Why are you being nice to me? Go fuck yourself. You don't like me. You don't like some money. Why are you being nice to them? Just move. I'd rather you not talk to me. It's in the same room because I don't want to talk to you either. You know. Why do you think, and it's not everybody, but I think money has a lot to do with it. I told the story, I think it was yesterday or something about how when I worked at CVS, some drunk photo guy pulled a knife on me. And so CVS corporate got so paranoid that they came out and they fired

the guy and they transferred me to another CVS. And it was in a lower class, lower, like lower middle class town right next to me. But I loved the people who came into that store more than the people who came into the store where I grew up that were rich because they always, they always had problems, probably causing white people problems. It's not only white people problems, but it's like richer white people problems. I always felt, I always liked working in the areas where- A little bit more urban. People are a little real. Yeah. People are more real. People treated you with the respect that you treated them with respect. Yeah, you're going to get knuckleheads everywhere. Yeah. I feel the same way, Lee. I go drink coffee at a place

where they're all supposed to be decent people and they act like fucking animals. They leave their dishes on the table. They leave dirty ashtrays. They leave their cups like their mother's going to pick it up for them. The same people. Same people. Go to that coffee shop up there. They're all aristocrats and they're all international. They've all been to Europe and they drink green tea. But at the end of the week, they don't have no fucking class. Yeah. And that's the moment, you know, you can't buy class, Lee. You cannot buy. You know what I'm saying? You can't buy. Being a gentleman, you can't buy those things. You either become them or you don't. Yeah. And it's funny because that's what I always say. I expect certain things from certain people.

You know, I expect certain people to act a certain way, you know, regardless of that. I hate people with money. It's people with money that don't make you want to have money. Yeah. Because it says to you, if I'm going to turn into that person, I don't want to have money. What do you think it is that does that? It's not everybody. There are definitely- No, there's people who are filthy rich and you don't even know. I know people in Colorado that filthy rich parents, it's amazing. They own Corona beer. It's amazing. And you wouldn't know what they wore. Sneakers, they wore regular pants. They treated everybody with respect. But then there's other people, you know, wives that think because they're husband, you know, you see it right here,

studio city. You see it with these people pulling up the cars with yoga pants on and they're little and what, you know, and it's the husband's fault because they have so much money. He just throws money at the wife to shut up so he can live his lifestyle. You know, and that's what happens to your fucking stupid wife after fucking time because all of a sudden she thinks she made the fucking money. Wait, what'd you make? What'd you make? You're walking around the fucking Land Cruiser like you did some arranged road. Get the fuck out of here. Go suck a dick somewhere and fucking, you know. But it's, it really is amazing what, how people with money act sometimes or how they're better than you. I see it when I fly. I see the people in first

class, how they act towards the people sitting in the back and it's like, fuck you motherfuckers. That's why when I get upgraded, I always wear a t-shirt, a white t-shirt and shorts and sneakers to show them that I ain't rich and I'm still doing this because I fly a lot. So you get looks? Oh yeah. Really? Oh yeah. I put my pot on loud. I fart, I burp, I get up when I want to, you know me, but I sit in the edge seat. Yeah, man. That's why my money is just as green as yours, brother. I put my pants on one look at a time just like you. So, you know, the difference between you having money and me not having money, I could take it from you. And there's nothing you could do. So you're lucky I don't take it from you. So sit down and shut your mouth. Do you

even know about that, Leo? I used to just shake people down for 20s, for years. You've told me where like you, like your friends, you would say, come on, I have no money, can you, can I borrow? I like, I didn't know it was like every time you went out. Fuck yeah. God, it wouldn't work on me. It didn't work on me. It was my friends. I mean, I'm a Felipe, Mike Kessler, you know, the street guys. Not everybody lives that way. Street guys live that way. They know that the money shifts. Yeah. If you're a street guy, you know, that one day you're lucky, one day you're not. I got nothing by giving Lee 50 bucks because I know one day I'm going to

say, Lee, I'm broken. You just, bro, come on, take a ride out. I just got to check. Give me a ride to the ATM machine. I'll give you 100 bucks. That's what street guy, and that's how we'd meant it more. But if you got an envelope, you came back Monday, you knew to come see me. Even if it's a 20 for weed, Ralphie always did it for you. As soon as Ralphie got off the plane, he come get me and we go buy a fucking eighth of weed and I go home and he was happy. I was happy. He knew he took care of me because I took care of them. I take care of my friends. So that's what you have to do. That's fine. On a lower scale. I think we've talked about before. If I go out to dinner or something, because at around my age, some people don't have money. But if I go out to

dinner and people spend 30 minutes trying to figure out exactly to the penny what they owe, I won't go out with them anymore. Really? Like for tips and stuff? Yes. It drives me. I understand if like I ordered a drink or something, or if I got a steak and you got a sandwich. But if we got around the same thing, just put it three ways and let it be over with. Just put the 20 down or the 30 or whatever. Listen, I don't hang out with cheap people at all. They nitpick. They bother the hell out of me. Once I see somebody on a calculator figuring out a tip, our friendship is over, my friend. Our friendship is over. I don't want to be friends with you no more. Yeah, sit down. I calculate. The girl did great work. Just give her a five. Who cares about

the fucking whatever. You know, I always try to... That's one thing I learned about Joe and Ari mentioned it to me this week. We talked about a lot of things. We learned working with Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan gives everybody 100 bucks. Really? 100 bucks. That's the minimum. That's the minimum. I remember being a server, that must feel great for them. Like a baseball night. 100 bucks. When you go out to eat with Joey, he doesn't even play. He doesn't even let you look at the check. He doesn't even let you look at the check. He just picks it up, adds a tip on there. He doesn't even look at it. And I know why he does it. You know why he does it? Because he doesn't want people figuring out tips in front of him.

He's figuring out, well, I didn't have the lobster tail. I had the steak pato. Just pick up the tab and you're not going to have this problem. I have a problem with that. If I go out with people, I know they're going to start fidgeting around chicken before I get embarrassed from them. I start hating their guts. I just pick up the tab. Why am I going to mess around with them? You know what I'm saying? What the fuck am I going to mess around with them? But no, it's really weird I thought about it all night and I was very angry. I was angry at a couple of things yesterday when I left here. First of all, I was in shell shock because I was getting off on that cookie. I was just starting to get off on that cookie. And next thing you know, people were knocking

and stuff. So I didn't know what to say. When I left yesterday, I was gone. I was gone. I went home and basically took the baby to the park and made a few calls. My day was shot. But last night I started thinking about what had happened. And it was very weird. Tonight we got the story teller show. I don't know if you're coming down. The guys nailed it. Life are coming down. What time are you leaving? Probably don't leave at 9 30. I'll leave from show start to 10, you know, and then it's going to go down. And like I said, the role model, did you think about it all? You didn't think? I didn't because I was so fucked up. I don't, I think I try to take things from people, I guess, because I was, I never was really big

and I never thought I was going to be an athlete. So I never thought about like that. But like, I think it was like the guy who taught me when I was here. I had a couple really great teachers who, who really affected me. Do you still like, I talked to Mr. T this morning, the teacher that made me laugh all the time that would, you know, play Woodstock and talk about Alvin Lee. And I call him this morning and said, hello, you guys made me think about him this morning. I would have, a couple of my teachers have unfortunately passed away. But then it kind of was, it kind of bummed me out. When I was first moving to LA, I went back to have my high school film professor and I, him and I were super tight. And I went to tell him, I got this

job on a TV show. And I don't know, I don't know if I just got him on a bad day or something. But like, he almost, like he didn't even know me or like he didn't, he wasn't that proud. Like, I expected to go and he'd be really excited because how many kids actually go and do that with their life and it just wasn't what I was expecting. So maybe I just got him on a busy day or maybe after a few years of college, he didn't remember who I was, but it's, no, I don't want to talk to any of them. It's, it would be nice too. Now this guy that was your mentor kind of here for editing, do you still talk to him? Oh yeah. Yeah.

When do you talk to him? Every few weeks we'll text back and forth and he's really proud. I mean, everyone at that show has been there for like at least a decade, just because it's been going on for 25 years and it's a good gig to have. But they're proud of me for leaving because I would have still been building furniture. But I was there, I was the, because when you go to it, when you start working in a place that everyone there's been there for a decade, you're always going to be the new guy, even five years in, you're still going to be the new guy. So I get text from them all the time, like we're happy for you because they saw the t-shirts went out and I sent them a t-shirt and

they see what I, when I post stuff about podcasts. Now there's a guy that's your mentor, does he still work? Oh yeah. What's he work on now? He works, he still works on AFV, he works on cops, he works on, he works on movies, he does a lot of cool stuff. It's, and he's, he was great to me, like looking back at it, having, it'd be like if I had an 18 year old kid just sitting right here, wondering what we were doing this for the, for months and months on end asking,

what, what happens when you press that button? Why, why are you doing that? Because I just, I went to school and I learned basics of editing, but just when you, when you go in and see what they're really doing, it's just there's so much to learn. Is it different from when they teach you to what you're really doing? Yeah, I mean they're teaching you more theory behind it and why, like, like, Why would you make the cut there? Building story and stuff like that, but he's going in and he's changing the colors on a shirt or he's, he's blurring out a logo because we can't have it in there or he's cutting it even

shorter. So it's, it's very interesting, it was, it was interesting for me and I was, I was in his office half the day just asking questions. It's funny because I'm surrounded by others and they each have pretty similar personalities. John Budd, one of my jiu-jitsu teachers, an editor, Hasan, one of older's 10 planet purple belts, he's an editor that also goes to VMAC, you and another man, our friend Butch, that's an editor. And if I have to think, you guys are pretty much all a little bit the same. You have the same, you have a party going on your head at all times because you need that to be an editor. To do what you do or to be a writer or to do

something, you need to be yourself to make that job go by easier. You have to have a party in your head. That's why you still say that you don't get on before you go edit and you go now. And you can't imagine doing that. Are you still getting calls for editing from time to time? Yeah. And it's a, some of it would be, if I got a call for like a feature film, I would take it, but it's just, I'm having, even though I'm, I'm worried about money, that's not the worst thing to be worried about, but I'm having so much more fun. Like I was talking to Agostino and I just, I know his pain because he doesn't want to go where he's going. And anyone who has a job where you wake up in the morning or you wake up and you're like, okay, I have four hours until

I have to be there. Okay. I have three hours. I have two hours. And it's just a dread in your stomach. It's the worst feeling in the world. So right now, as long as I can afford to not have to do it, I'm going to try not to do it. It's really weird when you get caught up in a job that you don't like. You know, I answer anywhere from 80 to 100 emails a week and five of those emails are from people that are really sick of their job or they don't know what else to do. They want to quit and they get to, you get to the point where you're so angry at yourself and your job and so frustrated that you want to quit, but you can't. You can't. So you get into a deeper emotional rut and it keeps building and building. And now whatever you want to do on the autistic side,

you're so fucking buried and anguished and confusion and anger that you don't even have the creativity to do what you really want to do. And it's tough. And amen. I mean, when I just wanted to be a comic and I had to pay 635 dollars worth of channel support, and I still had to sell cars and still get up early and to have this dream and you really want to do it. And then one day you just got to go, you know what? I'm doing it. I'm going to get a piece of paper and a pen. I'm going to figure out what budget I need. Not 6,000 for Chinese food a month, but ramen. What do I barely need? I don't know when I got into, and I'm not lying to anybody here, but when I went back to Boulder in 94 to get to be a dad and to work on my comedy in 93,

my budget per month with channel support was basically $1,600 on $1,600. I could live. I could pay rent. I can not pay a car payment. I was putting gas and some beat up fucking car. I had food, you know, that didn't include the blow. The blow was optional. So some months I was going to make 2,000 but spend a thousand on blow. But that part of my life is so confusing for me because I had so much pain because it was so much more I wanted to do. I just couldn't do it. I had to keep a day job. I wanted to travel, but I had to keep a day job. I had to keep a day job because I was going through a divorce and I was so fucking frustrated. I can't tell you how frustrated I was until finally one day I took a budget, wrote it out and said, this is what I'm going to do.

And I mean, guys, listen, do you think right off the bat you're going to make $1,600 a month when you need to, you know, no. And I had a fill in the void. I had a shoplift. I had to hang around fucking K-Mart and, you know, steal shit and try to hustle that way. If my buddies sent me a stolen shit from New York, I had to hustle it that way. There were so many things, but throughout the months the more and more calmly I started to do it. I started picking up little gigs. And eventually I could stop doing those extra things. And yeah, from time to time, listening guys, there's nothing wrong with doing comedy and delivering Chinese food on Monday and Tuesday night. You can make a hundred a night. That's 800 a month you got covered because there's no

real comedy Monday and Tuesday. There's a couple open mics and stuff like that, but you could still make them a 10 if you deliver Chinese food. Exactly, yeah. We got a call. Yeah. What's happening, my brother? Hey, my friend, how you doing? How are you, Uncle Pete? I know you're having a busy day today and I know I'm thanking you for

calling and making time. What's going on? Just talking to you, my friend. How's everything with you? Everything's good. I'm excited about Grudge Matches out today on DVD. Yep. So I'm very excited about that. But my buddy called me Monday and he said it was on a plane last week. Yeah. Oh, the movie was on a plane? Yeah. He caught the first 10 minutes of it and then they had a land something happen. I don't know. Yeah. I also had a buddy of mine who was on a plane right after Christmas and a guy next to him

an Asian gentleman was watching a pirated version, subtitled. And so when you say watch it on a plane, that could almost mean anything these days. But yeah, not my buddy. Well, no money in my pocket, but at least was the guy laughing. My buddy said the plane was having a good time when he was sitting, that they were giggling. So that's good. No, that's good, man. Yep. You know, Grudge Match, I took a bunch, about 70 people from the podcast came out. We all met

Christmas night and we went to watch the movie together. That's right. What was the theater you took? Lemley Five on Lancashire. Nice. And we had a great time and, you know, listen, we got great responses to the film. But as you know, it wasn't a blockbuster that we expected to be, you know, and it was still a great film. I mean, I think a thousand more people are going to see it now that's on DVD. Well, that's what I think, too. You know, Tommy Boy was not a big hit in the theaters.

But when it started playing, you know, on DVD and then HBO, suddenly people started, you know, coming out of the woodworks and how much they liked the film. So sometimes movies, you know, have to find their audience. And boy, Christmas was like a traffic jam on the freeway. It was a tough crowd, you know, having great movies. It was a very, I remember your partner once, Michael Ewing, telling me that, you know, it takes levels of a film for people to really see you in it. And after a while, you'll see that it takes levels. And even now, if you've noticed, they've been playing the longest shard every night on Showtime.

Yeah. Yes. It's crazy how many times every night, every night. It's a seasonal thing, I guess, you know, it, you know, then 51st States will get played a whole bunch in a row and, you know, and then it's off the air for a few months, then it'll come back. I don't exactly know how and why that, you know, seasonal programming works, but, you know, good for us. Yeah. No, you know, Mr. Seagull, I want to ask you something that's really, I think in all my years of being on LA, I mean, I thought that Grudge Match had some of the best marketing behind that I had ever seen in my life.

Yeah. Well, Warner Brothers is, is the best. And, but, you know, sometimes getting the message out there is one thing, getting the right message out there is something else. And I think, you know, for whatever reason, as you know, when people are in the theater, you know, it tested in the 90s. Every single time we had a grassroots campaign. And so, that was fantastic. And that's why the studio had so much confidence putting it at Christmas. But something about it was, you know, not attracting people and it didn't, you know, peak their appetite. And they felt like this is a kind of movie that they could wait to rent it, you know. And so, the good news is today they can happen, you know.

I'm really happy, man. I'm really happy. Because already people, people were sending it out on Twitter last night to me, you know, cutting little scenes and putting it out to me. So, it was, it was great. Have you spoken to anybody from the film since then? Oh, yeah. I'm working on something now with that. Well, Bob and Sly and myself and the producers, we traveled to Europe to promote it, you know, right after Christmas. And so, that was fun. That was, it was really nice. And the European press was very enthusiastic and the crowds were great. And we went to Rome. We had a premiere in Rome. We had a premiere in London. And so, that was really nice. We got to just relax and have some good meals and laugh.

And since then, I've been in touch with both guys. You know, Sly's got Rocky on Broadway. On Broadway, I saw that. Yeah. And so, that's fantastic for him. And, and Bob and I have been talking about a couple things. And, and Kevin and I, you know, then we went to a Laker game right after the movie came out, or I think it was, yeah, right around the time the movie came out. That is an experience in itself, having Kevin Hart next to you, courtside Laker game and him hackling LeBron James and getting him to laugh as he's shooting free throws. I thought we're going to get kicked out. I've never experienced anything like that. That sounds like that they ended up winning or no. What's that? They didn't beat, they didn't beat Miami, did they? No, no,

I don't think so. No, no. Are you kidding? This year, we, we couldn't beat my local high school team. Oh my God. I watched them against the, the clip is on Sunday or something. Oh my God. I felt so bad. This is a reboot. I just want to forget this season and get to next season and hopefully, you know, good things. I just hope, you know, Kobe comes back. God knows what's going to happen with Nash. You know, there's so many injuries this year, but you know, we just fell apart. So listen, Peter, so you know, I love you at all my heart. Kobe's got one foot in the grave, one of the banana peel. I love him to death. He's one of the greatest players of all time, but he's done. Nash, I don't even know why we got that guy. I have no idea. I have no idea.

You can't break it down to me. There's no level of breakdown to me. What I saw the other day, they just need an overhaul. They need three new guys and two white guys missing a two that got nothing but heart. And let's start this team all over again. Jack's not even going to the games no more, right? Yeah, I have to agree. Definitely need an overhaul. I mean, you know, a couple years ago when they brought in, you know, the big blockbuster trade and Dwight and Nash and everybody, you know, if you looked at the bench, there was nobody there. And meanwhile, the Clippers were three deep at every position. And it's been paying off, you know, somebody can get injured. Chris Paul can get injured and they still have, you know, two other guys that can fill in.

We don't, you know, when our starters are out, that's it. You know, we're like a DELETE team. No, it's, it's mind boggling to watch. What are you working on now, Uncle Pete? Working on a remake of Harvey, the 1956 Jimmy Stewart movie. And it's really a nice adaptation. It's not the exact same script as the Pulitzer Prize winning play that was put on the screen, which won an Academy Award for the lady who played Jimmy Stewart's sister. And we're quietly casting it right now and, you know, hoping to get that going first of the year. And I might need, you know, the help of a mad flavor kind of guy. I don't know. We'll have to see. That'd be great. But you know, I love you either way, brother. I have mad love for you no

matter what, whether you put me in a movie or not. That's the, that's the worst thing about having friends in the movie business. When they do something, they won't call you because they feel ashamed and they don't understand my perspective, Pete. From where I've been and what happened in my life and everything, you put me in a movie. You, even if somebody calls me into audition, if you go, Joey, I mentioned your name, they want you to audition. I love you forever, whether I get the movie or not. Just somebody thinking about me. So that doesn't make my friends. You know, you're my buddy until the end of the time, brother. Well, and likewise. And, and you know what, as we both get older, the thing for me is I like to

work with people that I like, you know, not, you know, if life is too short, I want to have a good time. And so that's why you see, you know, Sandler will work with a lot of the same people over and over again. And, you know, whether he gets criticized or not, he wants to have a good time, you know, and you're, you're in my stable, pal, you know, whether you like it or not. And having you on the set is always a joy. This time, you know, we had to go to the bullpen to LA, fly you into New Orleans, and you knocked it out of the park. You know, I was, you know, I'm proud of you because, you know, I got producers looking at me saying, well, this guy's costing more than a local guy from, you know, Louisiana. I said, yeah, but it's going to be worth it. And so,

and you proved me right again. So, you know, I love you. I love you too, buddy. Hey, I hope this DVD does well. I hope people buy it and take it home because I thought it was a great movie. I really did. I sat there and I cried. I couldn't believe that that was me across from De Niro. So I really hope that people grasp this and see this. This is an American classic because it's the two biggest guys of our generation. For me, I grew up watching those guys. So it was an honor to work with them. And it was, regardless, you know, these things are judged, you know, they have a shelf life, you know, and 20 years from now, you don't remember what number it opened at the box office. You just, you know, when it comes on HBO, you're just going to enjoy it and

take it for what it is. And we're proud of it. We had a great time making it. And I think it's actually one of the better movies I've made. So I'm hoping, you know, a lot more people get to see it now that it's out, you know, for the masses at Walmart or wherever else is selling it, you know, Red Box, whatever. You know, it's crazy how I spoke to Nick Dutour on Monday. Well, Friday I spoke to Nick. And he reminded me that this, you know, this July is 10 years from when we shot the Longest Yard. That's when we started. Dude, tell me about it. I forgot about it. You know, I cannot believe it's 10 years. Actually, it's 10 years right now, because we were filming it, you know, four, it came out in 05. So 10 years ago, you were sweating, running around the prison yard in

Santa Fe. No, it was April. We didn't start shooting till July. Oh, July of 04 though. Oh, you're right. Yeah. July of 04. You're absolutely right. I met with you like the first week of May. Yeah, you're right. You're right. And then I remember July was right after July 4th weekend, we shipped off the prison. You know, how funny was that that you guys called and said, hey, will you be willing to come to a table read tomorrow? And I'm like, sure. And then they called three hours later, like, hey, we don't need to bother you. Will you be able to go to Santa Fe, New Mexico tomorrow? And I'm like, what? Sure. And the next day I got picked up in a car and I pulled up and there's Adam Sandlin with flippers on slippers. Yeah. And he grabbed my luggage.

Pete, I have no reason to lie to you. 10 years later, I had four or five cigarettes, a joint, and $7 in my pocket. I gave five to limo drive. I walked into that table read with $5 when I sat next to Bert Reynolds. I almost ran out of there. I was like, this is this is a dream. And then across from me was the guy from 48 hours. Yeah, you know, what's his name? Oh, my God, Patrick, what's his name? James Patrick, whatever he played the Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the psycho. Yeah, you know, and I'm sitting next to Romanosky and I'm looking over at Michael Irvin, who I knew from before, from the best dance sports show. And next, you know, we're on a plane to Santa Fe, me, the leap, Bob Sap, and somebody else on a four man plane.

And I get to this hotel Santa Fe and I swear to God, Pete, I got that was a crazy group. That was crazy. My wife had no we were both broke, broke. And the first day they gave me an envelope and then the envelope was 800 bucks for per diem. And that was it. I paid my rent. You can't even believe this. So I'll never forget that, man. Oh, yeah. I remember the first practice at that. It was some high school. Yeah, it was like a lightning storm. And Romanosky was going around like the real deal. Like this was like a real, you know, NFL practice telling people to remember, he says, tuck that shit in, you know, there's some guy who's Jersey wasn't, you know, tucked in. And I'm like, well, he's taking this really seriously. And,

you know, that for any kid who grows up to, you know, dreaming of maybe one day, whether you play in the NFL or coaching the NFL, I was the closest I got to it because I felt like Tom Landry. You know, I was walking around with my rolled up script of all the plays and, you know, all these legendary, you know, Hall of Famers are out on the field and then a lot of great college athletes and, and arena football athletes. You know, it's just unbelievable, you know, the amount of talent that goes into making a, you know, make believe football team that ain't make believe when you're out there filming it, those guys really hit. And, you know, as it's been playing lately on cable, I look at some of these hits and I go, my God, some of these guys must have had

concussions and just not told us. You know, I mean, that was back before, you know, all of the heightened awareness about, you know, helmet injuries and stuff like that. And so God knows what was really going on, you know, on the field. Those guys were really bringing it. You know, it's really funny. There was this little Italian guy that was, he played at New England. He was on the developmental squad. I don't know if you remember him. And towards the end, he knocked somebody's shoulder out of place. He was maybe five foot nine, really compact guy. And the scene when Romanoski hits me, that's what happened. Romanoski and this little guy came up to me and you were there and they were talking to me and I

said something to you. I go, I'd rather have Romanoski hit me than that little guy. And Roma heard me. And in his mind, he's like, really, you fat fuck? Okay. And if you watch those shots when he was hitting me, Pete, he was hitting me. Oh, yeah. And the first two, I mean, I was angry and I wanted to cry. It hurt so bad, but I couldn't because I know where his head's coming from. So I stood there and I'm like, that's all you got, bitch. And there's one shot where he hits me that my helmet turns around. That's not a stunt. That's not a cut. Let's turn the helmet around. That was real. Yeah. And there were a couple of times when Romo told me right before we started filming that he said, I'm either going to play my,

I guess it was his 16th NFL season, or he's going to become an actor. I said, really, based on whether, you know, we say yes or no to you getting this part, you're going to change your, you know, Hall of Fame career. He goes, yep, do I have the part? I said, yeah, you got the part, but am I ending your career as a football player? He goes, yeah, I'm done. I'm done. I said, well, let me ask you something. You've had, you know, what three, four concussions, you know, during your playing career. He goes, Pete, more like 24, 24 concussions. So when we were on the field, you know, going through, you know, shooting, there were a couple of times when some of the other players, I remember there's one guy who played for the Denver Broncos, you know, I forgot

his name, but he came over and he said, Pete, you got to take Romo out. I said, why? What's going on? He goes, well, I think he took another one to the head and he's saying like he really wants to kill the quarterback samler. And I don't think he realizes it's a movie anymore. I think he thinks he's back on the field. I'm like, ooh, okay. So I mean, that's how, you know, that's how hard he was hitting, you know, on this on that movie, you know, and then it got to a point where, you know, where was the line between fiction and nonfiction? So it's got a little, little crazy. I still remember that there was a, I don't know if you stayed in the hotel with us. I don't think so. You know, I was in a different hotel. Well, a much nicer one. Well, the hotel had an Indian theme.

No, because the hotel Santa Fe was a beautiful hotel. If you look and see that, that thing's got like six stars. I remember the Mac, the kids, you know, I might have actually been in the same hotel. You were at the same hotel with Nick Turturro, right? Yeah, I was upstairs. Okay, then I was at the same one because I was in by the pool sometime. Right. We were at the Santa Fe Inn. There was only two hotels. That was the big one. And then the one down the block was like a crack hotel. Yeah, they had some of the football players, but they had me in the big one with Dalip. And and I still remember that the theme of the hotel was very American Indian. It was very southwest. Yeah. Okay. And when we got there, I don't know if you remember, there was a guy that was playing

a flute. When you can't. Yeah, he would just play that Indian stuff. He played for breakfast and he played at night. You know, that after like two weeks, we were there, the guy disappeared. Oh, really? Yeah, because they threatened them. Oh, the football, the guys at night. Yeah, the guys at night told them to get the flute and get out of there one night. But those guys at night, it was Kevin Nash, the other guy, and then the coordinator. Remember, they're not the talent coordinator, but the football coordinator. He was a little older guy. Yeah. Mark Ellis. Mark Ellis. So Mark Ellis, Romo, Kevin Nash, and Steve Austin. I think it was somebody else in that crew. The guy that played for the Giants. He played for the championship

Giants. Yeah. They would stay downstairs and just drink till the bar closed. And they broke into the bar one night. Yeah. Remember, they broke the bar. Then after they got warned about breaking into the bar, when now I'm sleeping, I hear knock on my door and it's Steve Austin. He goes, I want your refrigerator. We had those little refrigerators in our room and they had those bottles of them. Yeah. And he's like, I want your refrigerator. Can I give you the money in the morning? I go, just take them. He left me everything but like harness juice. He took everything. I think he left the harness juice and water or something the next day. When I got up, they had all those little bottles upside down on the table. They must have gotten into like eight

rooms. It was, you know, Pete, I want to thank you because it was a great time for me. I learned a lot. I learned to never be involved in a football movie again. That's the one thing I learned. I never want to be in that involved again. Not because of the hits, because it really, really was a lot of work. And I didn't think anybody knew how much work it was going to be till we got there. No, not only how much work but how hot it was. And we didn't read the fine print on, you know, what monsoon season meant. You know, every day we had lightning storms and rain for like, I don't know, anywhere from a half hour to 90 minutes. And twice, I don't know if you remember this, the set got struck by lightning. Yes. You remember the first day when we had like a tornado

went through the net? We all had to like abandon ship and I literally dove into an 18-wheeler. Yes, that's right. That's right. Now, it was horrible because we had to stop everything we were doing every afternoon at two o'clock. Yeah. And by, and people think that the hottest part of the day is 12 noon. It's about five o'clock, you know, because it gets dark in the summer, 730. So five o'clock was absolutely blistering. And I couldn't understand how you guys, you know, got through it in your pads and helmet. That was, that was torture. I was 400 pounds, Uncle Pete. When I shot that, I'm 310 now. I was 400 pounds. Nice. Nice. And no shape at all, no working out, nothing. They had to put me on the oxygen therapy. Bob Sapp couldn't even pick me up. I was so heavy.

Hey, I want to thank you. I know you're busy today. And I really want to thank you for everything you've done for me and for calling the podcast and for enlightening these guys. And that's it, man. You know, I love you at all my heart, man. My pleasure. And I'll email you if I need you again. You know, I'm always there for you, man. I'm always here for you, my friend. All right. Thank you, my best of the family, your wife and the kids brother. You too. Thank you very much. Bye-bye. Okay, bye. How's that feel, Lisa? Yeah, so cool. I love it. And it's, you know what, man, especially around Christmas time, it's not inexpensive to go to the movies anymore. It's

probably for a family of four, gonna be a minimum of $150. Yeah. So Red Box is a dollar now. I wouldn't be surprised if Red Box is Red Box and pay per view is the thing that makes the movie. Listen, like I told you guys in November, many times before, I was just happy to be a part of the movie. That was it. And if you're from my world, you know, if you went to, we got locked up and you come here, you got no agent and nobody will help you and nobody will fucking, then for me, it was even more of a feather in my cap. So I'm just happy. If you want to rent on DVD, if you want to buy it, go for it. If you want to buy it and bring it to one of the shows, now sign it for you. Go for it. If you don't want to do dick, I ain't mad at you either. You know what I'm saying?

Just don't mind your business. Keep being you. I ain't mad at you. I'd be, I'd keep being me myself. You know what I'm saying? So don't worry about nothing. I'm gonna give some shout outs here to some beautiful people that support the park. It's where my glasses lay. I don't even fucking know what I'm saying. We got Joey Rookin who's always there for me, Diego Reingold, Adam Wheeler, Joey Romero, Brian Rubin, James Harrison, Happy Birthday, and puckpipe.com. Send me a fucking pipe. I was gonna bring it with me by the left of the rush. You gotta see this thing. Oh, cool. It's this pipe that you spin around and it has five different cartridges. So you can put five different weeds in there one time. Oh, good Lord. I'm gonna spin it around.

I want you to start smoking it. I want you to start smoking again. We're gonna make you smoke it each a hit from each weed and send it in for a video. I want to thank the guys at Puckpipe. I went on their website. It's some pretty interesting stuff there. So if you get them and it's really weird how I haven't smoked late and I have no desire to smoke, I don't know why. Are you still getting high off the papers? Yes, I am. I am really getting blasted in the mornings. I get really blasted. Then I pop an edible and that carries me over for the rest of the day. You know what I'm saying? Like that gummy bear I popped this morning. You don't see me complaining though, but it's really weird. You know, sometimes you think something's gonna be really, really bad. Let me tell you

some guys. There's a couple of things I've done since I started the podcast and I've done it for you guys to show you. It's not to show you or to show you I'm better than you because that's not what I've ever intended with this podcast. It's to show you that we can do anything. We can do whatever the fuck we want, bro. We just have it in our heads that we can't. You know when I'm 51, I go to jujitsu. Am I the best at it? Fucking hell no. I can't go this week because my knee is fucking jacked. It's still swollen on the side there. But you know what? That's why I joined for it. I kept going because I wanted to overcome my breathing and my fears. That's what we talk about on this show. With the weed, it's an addiction. You know what I'm saying? I'm not

addicted no more. I'm just saying maybe I jump fucking shit, but I never thought I could physically stop smoking. I thought I'd be in pain or I thought I'd be in a bad mood. I just made a decision. And sometimes in life, man, like the decision you made, decisions that I've made, sometimes you just make a decision not what to do. Does the vapor pen fulfill the weed? Do you want me to lie to you? Is that what you want me to people to do and say, oh yeah, no it doesn't. It's a different high. It's 30, 40 minutes. I get higher sometimes. Like sometimes I wonder that I eat an edible, but it's really vapor. But I missed the whole process. I missed the breaking the weed and rolling it and being on a rolling paper. I'm looking for a lighter, but I broke it. I broke it. I wanted

to give my lungs a chance. So that's all this podcast is about, man. You fucking know who gives a shit no more. They got no restrictions. Is it more expensive or less expensive to do vapor? They give me a deal. I love Eureka. I love Noho Organic. I've been with Noho Organic as long as I was with Divine Wellness. Divine Wellness moved to Kanoga Park. I love these tubes. I think the tubes are 60 bucks. They charge me 50 or 40 or something like that. Eureka is great. I love Noho Organic. Now that I'm not smoking, Noho Organic has some fucking weeds that were strong in the shit we were getting before. I smelled one of them last Sunday. It was just unbelievable. I could see the pearls on it. He even said, you want to do a bonnet? I was this close,

but I'm going to hold off till May. I'm going to go 90 days. 90 days. Let's see what we can do with people. 90 fucking days. We do it together. Then if you can do 90 days, you go for 180 days. Do I want to stop smoking forever? Guys, you don't know what it's like when I get to a fucking gym and I start doing the basics at first and all of a sudden I got to breathe and tell myself I'm the serenity. I'm the serenity. I'm the serenity. I'm the serenity and also the skunk sweat comes out of me. That I feel come out of me through all of my body from my head to my fucking toes and even has a weave and I think I'm going to have a heart attack and during this time I think about you. I think about my wife, my daughter, North Bergen. I think about the people at home and

Austin. I start breathing again, but for fucking two minutes it is the most uncomfortable fucking time of my life. I get so many dots that maybe this is a heart attack. I always take two baby aspens and I take the honor to shunt export an hour and a half before I fucking go work out. So I don't know what's going on after time. I take the alpha brain in the morning with the blood pressure medication and my fish oils and all the other shit I take in the morning. All the other nutrients I take in the morning. But every time I go it's like two minutes. I figured if I could stop smoking it would take away those two minutes. You don't know how it was in kettlebells. Sometimes he told me how he goes, I know your cardio is getting better

because you don't go outside no more. But you know what I found last couple of weeks I like working out outside. Jesus Christ, you get some kettlebells and you go outside under the sun, you bring some water with you. It's amazing and you get a fucking sunday at the same time. It's fucking amazing that North Hollywood Park or that Bainbridge Park has a dirt road on it and it's a little smaller. Off a more park, off a more park and to hunger two blocks down towards violent there's a park on the right hand side. There's never nobody in the day tonight. They have a little workout area there like swings and push-ups and sit-ups and they have this dirt road, dirt track that isn't huge at all but it's dirt. It's dirt which is a little better for your

knees. You know what I'm saying? You go there, there's a little tree, you can put your little kettlebells there, you can put a 45 pound and 235s or 225s on 115 whatever the fuck weight you're using. Walk around through swings, you drink your little water, you can sell under the tree there and then you can walk around in circles. It's not bad and I prefer that sometimes. I love going to I love going to the class. I love going to Godbells with Dave but sometimes I don't have the fucking time no more. You know these last two weeks I have to leave it day earlier so anyway I'm in Grand Rapids this fucking Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Forget about it. Dr. Grins call up down there and I know we're at the Ice House for a live podcast the last week of April.

I will be in Orlando and I will be in Baltimore with Joe Rogan also but next week for sure this week coming the whatever the fuck it is the 10th through the 12th I'm definitely at Dr. Grins in Michigan. Let me give some shout outs to my sponsors on it. I love you guys. Like I said I take Shroom Tech before I work out. I take my Alphabrain, the Henforced Chocolate Shake. I live off these things. You know I do the Alphabrain and Cycles. I do the Henforced all the time and I do the Shroom Tech all the time. For the Kettlebell workouts I don't take the Shroom Tech. For the Jiu Jitsu workouts I take the Shroom Tech. I don't know why. You know me I'm kind of stupid. I like to save on them. I'm cheap. I also like to give go to honnet.com. Go to joeydeas.net. Get tour dates

also I got pre-sales on t-shirts, mugs and patches. Half the fucking patches are gone. Gone Lee. Half the patches are gone. I knew people gonna love the package. Thank god the G-Mac, V-Mac, the Jiu Jitsu kids there who told me to make a patch because people would buy patches for their gear. There's also long sleeve shirts and short sleeve shirts and coffee mugs. Yeah if you want if you want a weapon this is the weapon. This is the weapon. You know what I'm saying? Go to Lee's website. He's got Jiu radio shirts there. Also he sold a bunch of them in Tempe. A lot of people were happy with you that you went and we're gonna get you hooked up for Austin. So go to joeydeas.net. Go to the honnet. Pushing your order. Press in. Church. Church.

C-H-U-R-C-H and get your order from Honnet. They also have Stay Honnet which gives you a monthly package delivery to your house on the first every month. Also Dollar Shave Club. I can't you know I can't say good thing. I can't say better things about them. As you notice they've been our sponsor. I love working with them. They send me razors. I use the razors. You know the handle is a fucking weapon. The razors are tremendously sharp. They have Alawan. They have two different pro three different programs. The dollar program. The six dollar program or the nine dollar program. I don't give a fuck which one you get. Just get one of them. If you go with the six dollar one what's it gonna cost you? 72. 72 dollars a year you get razors. 72 dollars

you're not paying just for razors. You're paying for your time. You have to drive somewhere. You have to show up with a coupon because they're too expensive. It's 72 dollars a year. Go to dollarshaveclub.com. See what they got to offer. If you're gonna order go through joeydears.net. Use my box and use the code word church. Church. C-H-U-R-C-H. Press that in there. And what do they get me? They get uh they it's just they get the the better deals on the promo codes and you get oh if you order I think it's the nine dollar one you get the Shave Butter in your first order. Okay so you get the Shave Butter which isn't bad. No more ingrown hairs. No more fucking bumps or humps or nothing like that. Well I use it for my for my my neck and for you it's uh especially for

people who have beards when you when you have to do that you don't have to buy razors that often so but every once in a while you be like fuck I'm out. So this is always gonna come to your house. You can do it once every you can slow it down and once every two months. Every once every two months if you don't yeah yeah because I'm cheap with the razors too. I use in two weeks too. I got backlogged and we got bombed by nuclear. I have to stop shaving like you could buy a crane. So also remember Dollar Shave. Well also some of the best snacks out there. How do I know this? I eat them. Justino eats them. Lee eats them. My wife eats them. We just finished the white and black granola. You slice some bananas with some vanilla yogurt. Forget about it. White

and black granola. Delicious. I'm talking about naturebox.com. Naturebox.com then healthy snacks nutritionist approved. You know my favorites the cocoa almonds the the rice sticks and I love the other ones. What are the other ones? The ginger. They have a couple things. They have so many things that are so like different and unique. Not the ginger ones but the sesame sticks. Sesame sticks are so good. They're low in calorie all organic all natural. Like I said nutritionist approved. I'm a fat fuck. I love these things. When you place your first order of nature box you get 50% off. 50% off. Then they'll send to your house monthly but you get 50% off the first order. That's a gift and a half. Go to naturebox.com. What do they got on there? It's a promo code Joey.

They have some new stuff. First of all they have roasted chickpeas so they got homeless for you. But then they have peanut butter and jelly granola. They have poppy seed sticks which I have to try now because I love poppy seed. I love poppy seed too. They have apple pie oat clusters. They have honey macadamia. They're good. They're good. The apple pie. My daughter eats them. My wife ate them. Delicious. I'll try that. They have honey macadamia pretzel pops. That has to be good. That has to be good. They have fruit chews. They have pumpkin seeds. They have seaweed rice pops. They have whole wheat apple fig bars. They look like the other fig bars. He's getting red. He's going to go home and masturbate on that webpage. Go to naturesbox.com. I'm telling you right now.

Go to joeydeas.net. What's the code brother? Joey. They really have to figure something out. If you're listening from Nature Box, figure something out. Work a deal out with a dispensary or something because if these were on the edibles, I can't tell you how much I eat. If these were at a dispensary, I'm telling you, they have the groups. They have stuff that you sit there and go this is delicious. The black and white granola, man. I advise it to anybody who likes granola. That apple fig bar, it's thick. My daughter chews on them. My wife loves that. I'm telling you. naturesbox.com. They have yogurt dip pretzels. That's right. Yeah, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're good too. They're really good too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't play around. I'm telling

you. I wouldn't have them on there. This is naturesbox.com. Stoner approved. Stoner approved. Joey Deers approved. Lisa Yad approved. Oh, God, yeah. They have cocoa waffle wafers. How does that? How can that not be good? Cocoa waffle wafers. Get your shit together, people. naturesbox.com, pressing the code. Joey. And also my men's people. Oh, yeah, yeah, turn that off. You're killing yourself to live. Your face is red. You didn't even need to cook. You're nothing like that. Also to my boys up at naileditlife.com, supplying the vapor pens, the best vapor pen out there. They also have the t-shirts. What else they got? They got everything else. Yeah, they got the vapor pens and it's mainly the vapor pen, the t-shirts they've got. Los Gumi's are monos. That's right.

Los Gumi's are monos. Which are. Oh, my God. They put Lee over the top. We had a 35 milligram sativa in the head, the top of the head. We just chopped this off. Yeah, it was a good forehead. Some of the black guy in Dawn of the Dead when the helicopter chops his head off in the beginning, we just gave him that little piece. And it put me over the top. Done. Los Gumi's are monos. They will be at the improv tonight. So let me see who else. So Los Gumi's are monos. Naturebox.com. Dollar Shave Club are my people. We take care of everybody. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to give a shout out to Hulu Plus. No matter what, I still love Hulu Plus.com. Hulu Plus.com. Go see them. And that's it, Lee. I'm going to Michigan Thursday morning, nice and early. Tomorrow

I got to shoot some stupid films. So I'll be shooting all day. I'm looking forward to Michigan. Last time I was in Michigan was at Joey's in Dearborn, Michigan. That's where I started County. A lot of people don't know that. I went to, I drove from Colorado in Michigan. That was my first paid gig on the road. That's a long drive, isn't it? It's two days maybe, but it was still great. And then after that I started working for Yoda and I would go to like, you know, Battle Creek. You work for who, Yoda? Yoda. Yoda. That's his name, John Yoda. He's a great guy. He books all the rooms up there and that part of the country. He's got a thousand rooms from Toledo all the way up to Ishpame and all that. No, no, no, no. Listen, guys, if you're from

Michigan, wait, I can't wait to get there. The only sadness is I'm not renting a car because they, at least years ago, they had the best radio in the world. I fell in love with a girl from Michigan. I was with a girl from Michigan for four years from Niles, Michigan, brother. Why are you upset that you're renting a car? Because they have the best radio in the country. The best rock music. You like rock music. You get your car in Michigan, brother, from the top to the bottom, from Mackinac Island, all the way to Detroit, all the way to Niles, Misha Walker, that place is crack-a-lacking with music. I love it. I love it. I really do love it. I'm excited to go. I'm sad. I'm not going to Detroit to go to Greek town and to throw down

over there, but you know what, next time, hopefully, let's just do this Grand Rapids one. Let's get some people out there. Let's show Yoder. We could pack some rooms and then we'll do Detroit and we'll do a couple other towns. I'm keen on that. And make it dry. How far is it from Detroit a couple hours? Two hours, maybe, Grand Rapids, I think, if I remember right. But I went to see Sheryl Crow at the Detroit Palace. I used to go to, I went to a couple comedy clubs, man, in that place, like Saginaw, Michigan, Skaginaw, Bay City. I went to everywhere in Michigan. So I'm looking forward to going back. This is like a little homecoming for me. I loved it. I loved it, man.

I fucking really did. I wish you were coming to this only. It's just, you got to eat. I didn't know that I could fly into Detroit and drive. Tom Segura told me yesterday, by the way, I spoke to Tom Segura. He's doing a lot better. He said, thank you for letting me know because I called him and he called me back. He got a virus. Jesus Christ. He got a virus on the plane or something. He got on the plane. Listen to me. Something that is my biggest fear. That is my biggest fear with edibles. That as soon as you click on the seat belt, you just go into an anxiety attack. Yeah. And that is horrible. That's a horrible thing to ever have. You've been sick on a plane. I've got the beginning of a cold. Yeah. I'm diary on a plane one time. This had to be

one way, two hour flight from the morning I woke up and it was one of those things that you drink and you go. Yeah. Like it was like a 24 hour bug and it was horrible. Tom Segura said he snapped on his seat belt and right away he had to run to the bathroom. He started puking and then he sat down on the next trip. He started puking and it was coming out of his mouth. So he had to come back from Virginia? He stopped in Minneapolis. It was a connecting flight. He stopped in Minneapolis in Minneapolis. He went to the plane. He said he wanted his luggage. He couldn't do it. He couldn't. So he's got a hotel room in Minneapolis. He spent the night. He called the club and he said he wasn't gone. How often does that happen? Because I can't remember you canceling for being sick,

but that must happen. Comics are people that get sick. Listen, I couldn't imagine. I used to cancel a lot of gigs when I had the anxiety from the cocaine. I used to get so paranoid that I wouldn't be able to leave in the mornings. I wouldn't be able to walk out the door. And then after I got off code for about a year I had this anxiety. Really bad anxiety. I mean it was just atrocious anxiety and it really it used to get me on planes and I had to get off and I had one time they called the police on me and I had to wait till the cops came and they searched my stuff and they wanted to see why I was getting off a plane. I had to have them call a doctor. That's how bad my anxiety was. So those are the only times, but I mean you know what? If you have the flu or you lose your

voice, why are you gonna get on that plane? I understand that some comics need the money, but if I'm gonna go give you a bed show because of my voice, I'd rather cancel and come back when I'm healthy. And I think people's first reaction is to be angry, but then they'll say he was sick. I didn't want him here sick. I don't want to sick, Joe Diaz. I don't want to sick, Lee. I don't want to sick, Lee. I know how it is to come in here sick. I have to do something half ass. So that's the other side of the coin. So you know, I guess the club was a little angered at him, but he was thinking about himself. He was thinking about his crowd. He was thinking about the people that come to the podcast and go to see him and Christine. And I understand that. I understand

that, uh, we're doing a podcast. I understand that, uh, that, that happens sometimes in life, you know, it's gonna happen, bro. And so the club probably gets over and then you'll run with your life, you know? Yeah. I mean, it's just, it's kind of Bob Boston give you a lot of shit. Sometimes you're calling in sick. So I can see, I can see where the club is like, Oh, we had this whole thing going on, but you can't, if he was that sick on the plane, he knew. No, you can't. You're not going to, what are you going to do? Get on another plane and embarrass yourself more? Yeah. What are you going to keep getting up and going? The bathroom stinks. Oh, yeah. You know, I wouldn't want that. I wouldn't want somebody to be sick on a plane, you know? So that just makes sense.

I love the story. I think you were going to Miami and you were taking edibles. It was like a year ago. You were taking edibles and you had like cinnamon gum or something. I couldn't stop sweating. It was horrible sweats that I had, you know, and the next thing, you know, it was, it was a five out. Listen, I learned a lesson about eight years ago about going traveling on red eyes. You know, I'm a Renaissance man, but red eyes and me just don't get along. Okay. Because I can't fall asleep. I can't fall asleep. I just get restless. And the plane at night, it's quiet. The lights are out. It's really tough to read the person the middle wants to read. So you really can't have your lights out. They don't really serve a lot of food. There's no store. This is

walking around. They don't make a lot of announcements. It's a different thing. It's brutal for a guy like me. Why? Because I can't sit still. I don't know what it is. Red eyes and me just don't get along. And I used to do them. I used to do them years ago because I got the concept of if you're going to sleep, sleep five hours on a plane and go cross country. I get that concept. That's a no brainer. I'd rather get on a plane at 11 o'clock at night and know I'm going to fall asleep and sleep all the way to Miami. That's a plane ride. You don't waste no time. You get up, boom. You're still a little tired. Even when you sleep red eyes, you're still a little tired when you wake up. That's why they have that honor thing with the turnaround. You're still a little tired

when you're not wasting time. When I got on a plane and do a red eye, you know what's going to happen? I'm going to stay up all night. Then the next day is going to go to waste. That's what happens. Why are you so restless? Because even when the couple of times I've been on a plane with you, you're always walking up and down the aisles. Do you get nervous? Or what is it? Look at me. I'm a man on the move. My mind is always thinking. It's just the way some people cut. I'm going to sit there for four hours. I finally learned how to relax the last 10 years and that's going prepared. Listen, man, when you shoot a movie, when you guys go to a movie, you see a movie, Captain America, you see all the fun stuff. You're like, oh my God, how fun is that?

Well, they have to set up for those scenes. You have to take an hour, you have to take 15 minutes. Those big scenes in Captain America, that takes nine months, seven months. It's night because it's hard. You have to do the 3G, the big screen, all that stuff. Brain screen stuff. You add that later. It's very tough, but what's tough is in between those, you've got to wait two, three hours. Sometimes you get there at six in the morning, you don't shoot till 10. That's what aggravates people. They used to aggravate me. Now, I bring the iPod, the laptop, the book, you know, a little utesy utes. When you're in a hotel room or a trailer, do you just sit down? Are you pacing around the room? No, I sit down.

I sit down. Well, you want to pace around a little bit. But there's one point I got to get out. I'm the type of guy. When I get up, I got to get out. So now what I do is in a hotel room, I get up and as I'm showering in the morning, the coffee's brewing. So when I get out, I put my coffee, my sugar in there, my sweetener. I saw on the computer. There's no ways to time. I blast out because I got to get something in my stomach to get my metabolism going. So I do Twitter. When I'm on the road, I don't tweet too much or whatever because I'm going to move. I got to do radio or whatever. So I just tweet and go down and eat breakfast. And then I walk around a little bit to see what's around town. You want to see, even if you've been there

before, what the hell? You want to walk around? Maybe they opened up this. Then I may go back, take a nap. And then I got to get out. Then I'll wake up and go to the gym. You know, where years ago, I didn't do anything, guys. I just sat in a hotel room all day plotting that night to do blow. Now, like, already when they sent me the hotel info, I went on to see if they had a pool, a gym, so I bring shorts, a t-shirt. I tell you that I went swimming on Saturday with Ari and I hung my shorts on the balcony. Yeah. And the next night when I came home, my shorts had fallen for them through the balcony in front of me. These big fucking green shorts. They belong to some fucking Zombo or something. Those people are going to open up that window in the morning

and see that big balcony. They're going to think some guy jumped off. My shorts tried to commit suicide. So you didn't go get them? You didn't let them... Oh, yeah, yeah. What am I going to do? Hang my hanging down there? What am I going to do? There was some... I don't know. I'm knocking the door. We're calling the front desk. I had two in the morning. Oh, another next day. Yeah, I left at seven. Oh, the day before you left? Okay. It was the night before I left. So I left at seven o'clock in the morning. So I wasn't going to go upstairs and knock on the people's door. That's my fault for not pulling the shorts down. It's Arizona. You put your t-shirt on the balcony for one minute. It's going to dry. Oh, yeah. Fuck. I'm excited. I'm excited about

maybe going to Austin. I've heard it's great. Austin's great. You're going to eat some good barbecue. Oh, sure. Some good music. Papacitos. Papados. You know how we do them. Just those two restaurants. Never mind the barbecue on the gate. The one that you wait online an hour for. You're going to have to go wait online. You're on a mission that day. I'll give you a cat for you and the whole thing. It's fine with me. I've heard it. You go wait online. I've heard it's great. No, it is great. And you know when I go there, people usually go and bring stuff to the club on Saturday night. It's really, really good. What do you like? Let me tell you something. I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm excited to every place I go because every place I go has something that I

want to eat. Something. As soon as I get there to remind me, I go, oh, shit, that's right. Let's go down. I've been to Grand Rapids before. What do they have in Michigan? Food. Good food. It's warm food, but it's going to be warm this time. I don't even think it's that warm in Michigan. I think I still got some nip in the air. It was snowing in the east coast last week. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's still cold up in Michigan. So I'm going to bring a little sweater, not no ski boots and that like that. But it's, it's funny. Once I get, I haven't been to Grand Rapids in four, ten. It's got to be 15 years. 1999, 2000. I was in Grand Rapids the last time over the holidays, one year. And I don't remember, you know, I was, I would drive up there at night.

They didn't put me up then. I was a feature act. So I would drive from Michelle Walker up at night. I think I rented a hotel the one night, step, step by myself. I don't remember. It was a long time ago. But no, I'm excited about going to Michigan because I would go to Michigan. I could go back and go to a couple of different places. You know, I like these times I go. And once I go to the ones I like, I keep going back and back and back and you just build relationships like anything else at restaurants. They know you're there for three days. I just emailed back with a guy that's a bartender at my favorite fucking lunch place in Minneapolis. Anthony, Anthony. Yeah. He just emailed me a couple of weeks ago. I was thinking about him, good kid. So that's how we do it.

That's how you do it. You know, everybody thought that the mob was some big thing, some secret thing. No, it's about relationships. This life is about relationships. And everywhere you go, you have a relationship. You have a good relationship. When you're with them, your family, it's like going to fucking Olive Garden. You walk in, you give them a hug, you eat something. And that's it. You know, we made it through today. We're going to be here towards the end of the month. We're going to get the fuck out of here. We don't belong here. We don't want to be nowhere. We don't want to be. You know what I'm saying? That's the beauty about me and Lisa here. We don't want to be nowhere where we don't need to be. Okay. Okay. Okay. They don't want to see it.

We'll go. We'll happily go. But the church will continue here to the 30th. We got to get out of here. We want to amp up the show a little bit. We want to put a microphone in here. We want to give you a full fucking morning show in the morning. I mean, you turn this on at six in the morning till 7.30. Once you stop watching our show at 7.30, you have two options. Either you're going to go and shoot your boss or you're just going to get in the car and go to California. That's the options we're going to give you. So we love you. Have a great weekend. Thank you for listening to that. Well, it's only Tuesday. Have a great week. I'll see you people in Michigan the rest of years. I'll see you in Orlando next Monday and next Wednesday. We're on

same bat time, 6 a.m. We'll be rocking your world. I'm going to leave with my main man, Lee. Boom, boom, sayat. Now that the show is over, don't forget to sign up for dollarshaveclub.com. Get high quality razor sent to your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now go to dollarshaveclub.com. For its last church or go to joeideas.net and click on the dollarshaveclub banner. The show is over. Also remember to go to naturebox.com. Order great tasting healthy snacks at 50% off. Snacks smarter in the new year with healthy and delicious treats like everything bagel chips and baked sweet potato fries. Support this podcast and get half off of your first order. Go to naturebox.com promo code Joey. That's naturebox.com

promo code Joey. And again, go to naileditlife.com for oil of the oil and wax smokers out there and mention joeideas and you're going to get 20% off of your first order. The best, the best, the best of you is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you. Are you going on to someone new? I need someone to hang my hand without your news. You gave me something that I didn't hear, but I know you. I was doing too good and too strong to lose. My heart is on no rest again, but I break loose. My head is giving me life for death, but I can't choose. I swear I'll never give in. I refuse. Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Is someone taking your pain? It's real. The pain you feel. You're trying too much to death. Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Is someone taking your pain? It's real. The pain you feel. The pain you die to. No, the facts, the broken hearts, the trust, the minds, the fear. Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? I've got another confession, my friend. I'm no fool. I'm getting tired of starting again. Somewhere new. Were you born to resist? Don't be abused. I swear I'll never give in. I refuse. Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Is someone taking your pain? It's real. The pain you feel. You're trying too much to death. Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you? Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best, the best.