Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #169 - Steve Avillo, Joey Diaz, and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: April 16, 2014

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt. Also with Joey's friend Steve Avillo, who calls in to talk about music and their 30 year highschool reunion.   This podcast is brought to you by: This podcast is brought to you by: Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for 50% off your first order. Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by mentioning the Church. Recorded live on 04/16/2014.

This show is brought to you by DollarShaveClub.com, get high quality razors sent to your door each and every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now go to DollarShaveClub.com slash church, that's DollarShaveClub.com slash church, or just go to joeideas.net and click on the Dollar Shave Club banner. This show is also sponsored by NatureBox, where you can order great tasting healthy snacks right to your door. Snacks smarter in the new year with healthy and delicious treats like French toast granola. Support this podcast and get 50% off of your first order.

Go to NatureBox.com and use promo code JOEI, that's NatureBox.com and use promo code JOEI. And thank you to NailedItLife.com for all of the oil and wax smokers out there. They have the premiere very prepped on the market. Use promo code JOEIDEAS and they're going to save you an additional 20% off. You're going to jail, maybe not now, in a year or two. Who gives a fuck? What? Yeah.

Do it, Lee. Let me see the wiggle cock sucker. Wednesday, April 16th, like a bad motherfucker, welcome to Passover, you Jew cock suckers. It's over. Oh shit. You see the black hooker yesterday or something? I just see no black hooker. I'm ready to rock today.

And I hope you too, your motherfuckers better be ready cause it's the day after taxes. Who gives a fuck? Get up, eat your oatmeal, do some jumping jacks. They ain't fucking around out there. I don't know what you're giggling about. Let's do this shit. Crickly. Oh shit.

Oh, what? We need to get a little strobe later in the new office. Oh shit. I've been waiting. Ooh. A little bartender in there. Oh shit. Crickly.

Tell me if you like that. Oh, oh shit. I can't even take it no more. I'm gonna have to go home and fucking stab my wife. Hit it. What's the story, Lee? You didn't even wiggle for me and then no more. I did too.

You don't wiggle. You're slipping, cock sucker. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Wednesday, April 16th, the day the devil and everybody else was buried at sea. We don't give a fuck. There's a church at what's happening now, my main man, Lisa Yat.

Joey Diaz, hoping you guys are having a great day, starting the day off on a beautiful foot. What up? What up, cock sucker? How many times did I call you last night and tell you? 18 times. I was stoned to the fucking gazilda highs last night. Come on, every 45 minutes you're like, what's up, dawg?

What brownie you want tomorrow? Oh my god. I was so fucking high. There was one point I was talking to you. I could see my wife looking at me and I hung up to you and I'm like, I hope he doesn't come over because I am fucking high to the gills. I can't have another roomy bed. Anyone else who would come over because you must have said 18,000 times, come over before

the Joshua podcast, come over after we're going to hang out when we're going to milkshake. And I'm like, he does not want me to come over there at all. What are these things I'm going to end up coming over? I was so fucking stoned here. You want to eat one of these yet? No. You want to eat a piece of chocolate? I'm all set, man.

No, no, no. Don't start. It's passed over. You got to eat a fucking edible for the fallen Jews, you know what I'm saying? Get it together. I don't want to hear no stories. Eat the blue one. What color you got on there?

Two. I got two more blues. There you go. I'm going to eat one more. We'll split one more. We're fucked up today. It's Wednesday. I'm fucked up on Monday.

You're fucked up. These are good, actually. Blue rice is good, okay? You weren't fucked up. What is that worth? You let yourself get fucked. How many times am I going to tell you about it? Yeah.

You let the fucking weed conquer you. Well, of course. You got to conquer it. You got to look at it in the eye and say, you ain't doing dick to me, cocksucker. Look how good that is. Yummy for your tummy. It's like, it's like, yo, Gabba Gabba. Yo, yummy.

Yo, it's a party in your tummy. Yummy, yummy. Hey, you're tummy. You see what I'm saying? Look how nice. Look at that smile. Last time you got a smile like that, you checked your bank account. That's the last time I seen you smile like that.

You checked your balance. Everything was copacetic. Nobody fucking stole you a couple dollars. You know what I'm saying? Who loves you, Lisa? Who takes care of you like the Cuban? Nobody, cocksucker. What are we Cuban?

You're out here solo, walking around. Look at you. Who's better than you? That actually, if that wasn't going to fuck me up in a bunch of moments, that was actually pretty delicious. We got another one. You can't walk on one leg. You absolutely can't.

You cannot walk on one leg. There's so many examples of people walking on one leg. Listen, that's bullshit. Even the pitayas. The pastor's guy. He killed Gabba Noeleg. So I'm fine. No, he has a hook.

He's got the hook. He's got the highlight. He's got one of those highlight hooks. You ever see the highlight? Yeah. He got those little fucking hooks. Look at you. Look at Lee, cocksucker.

He knows about the highlight. He's the worst fucking excuse ever. Oh, no, he's crying like a fucking pussy and a poor guy. Why would he shoot? I don't get it. He was the pump point of him shooting. She was hot. He must have been an asshole.

Everything they're saying is that he was just a jerk to her. Right, boy. He was like really paranoid. He always carried a weapon, supposedly, you know, that's why you never carry weapons, Lee. I just went to 7-Eleven before I came and the guy was like, hey man, I was here the day you tried to run that guy over with a car. He came in here, it's yelling and screaming.

I go, you know, man, he was saying shit to my fucking wife and it was just one of those days not to get in front of me with a car, you know, maybe today I'm Christian-like but last week I wasn't that fucking Christian-like. So how was your day yesterday? What did you do yesterday, Lee? Yesterday was fine. I just had the Josh Wolf podcast. What'd you do for Passover?

Did you eat anything good? You didn't call home? I called home. Actually, my mom was gonna piss off, I didn't call her when I tried, I didn't call during the Seder but Passover's the worst Jewish holiday for food. It's disgusting. Why? What do they serve you?

Matzah, which is gross. Tremendous. And non-Jews love it but it's fucking, it's worse than a saltine. Right. They've got confilter fish, which is one piece is okay but you have to smother it with horseradish. Delicious. And it's okay for one piece, they have chopped liver. That's disgusting.

And then fucking, it's just like... Now what do you do with the Seder? Do you sit around, do you eat, do you just tell jokes? No, it's like, well, my family's short but it can be like five or six hours of singing songs. Word for dinner. Kind of, I don't know exactly what it means but it's a dinner but you tell the story of Passover and you sing songs and you tell prayers and stuff.

What song do you sing? Dianoo. Do you remember? Dianoo. I do know. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo.

Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo.

Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo.

Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo.

Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo.

Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo. Dianoo.

Dianoo. the pharaoh and he's like let my people go and they went to the 10 plagues and then after the 10 plagues pharaoh finally said yes 10 plagues take I have no idea dude you're gonna find that out for the people at home they don't know this shit I don't think there's a time but uh well that I mean obviously was a time so after the 10 plagues that the Jews left but then the Egyptians like fuck no one those goddamn Jews so they chased him they got to the sea most is part of the sea the Jews walked through and then the Egypt Egyptians died and then they

walked they walked Israel and that's it they were freed they were freed and they were always different after that they were never the same after that what year was this before Christ probably before Christ I'm just a dog I'm just learning him myself I'm sure the people at home are sitting and going with the fuck is basso we don't the fuck basso is it's the worst Jewish holiday and how long is it last a week a week and I wanted to eat an edible of day the basso when you fucking turn me down you rather eat gefel the fish and fucking liver cock sucker how about we get how about we go into the what what what's the

crackers called monster monster how about we go into the monster disgusting THC monster business no make kosher monster are you fucking kidding me who gives a fuck we'll just go to Jewish parties and make them eat it they won't know what they're eating oh this will tell me it's gluten-free they'll fucking be on fire those Jews that is the worst tasting fucking I like them I don't know I like monster oh it's a monster ball soup I like I like all that stuff you know it just how can you like with your mother making such delicious Cuban food and and you know your neighbors making Italian food monsters the most bland it's

culture bro you learn from people's culture when you eat their food and that's you know I may not like hummus but I like kebabs I used to go to our was here all the time you're gonna I was here you call I was here you call the answer from I was here when he goes he talks to that motherfucker was out but no they're all great I mean Jews make great food but it's just this one's done I like the cabbages cabbages don't they make like some type of when I worked for those guys along on they made something that looked fucking disgusting it looked just disgusting but it was just if something would meet maybe stuff

cabbages stuff cabbage something but they had they call it something different Ari makes that soup what's the thick Jewish soup with all the meat in it that they eat during fucking the cold winters and I don't borst borsh that's Russian shade that's that shit's fucking good god damn yeah listen man it's a beautiful culture it's a beautiful culture yeah I'm not the whole thing the reason I'm not a fan of it is the orthodox people and it seems to be this way for any religion the really intense orthodox people want to push it on you okay and the everyday people couldn't care less and then I just for me I don't

say I'm what is it called I'm agnostic I'm not atheist I don't say that when I was younger I was 80 years now it's like there's always a chance there's something so I don't want to seem like an asshole saying but if I had to guess everything's pointing to they're not being a god but you never know you know there's something stronger out there except for martian and me not it just doesn't make sense who took that fucking plane huh he was the guy who had his cell phone on it was a Malaysian I'm teasing you but the thing that I don't even know what the fuck I was talking about it got me all confused with this

fucking Jewish talk no but it's listen man I don't like every food from every fucking culture I'm sure there's a lot of people feel that way that you like some stuff and other stuff looks weird to you know when I watch that bizarre foods oh yeah that shit's too fucking crazy for me but there's some foods I'll give a whacked you know I used to eat cabs brains and I was a kid sliced cast brain breaded and deep-fried that's tough with lemon on it late night god damn well did they not tell you as cabs brain first the first time they told me then I taste them and they were delicious my mom used to make tongue with black beans

and rice it's delicious and then she told me after what delicious I would order it now like we were at this toggle place that's too much for me that's too much yeah it's too much for something like I can't eat land really I can't eat land as much as I tried like because I feel guilty really and it feels what about you don't like really one of the best tasting dishes in the world to me is veal scallopini I fucking avoid I like to play just can't do it I can't eat nothing gamey I'd have a hard time in other countries okay but I like noodle dishes like I like Polish food I like a little bit of everything you know I like

believe not like cabbage stuff cabbages I like borscht I like you know like how it smells when you're cooking it's fucking delicious there's a lot of stuff I don't fucking like I don't like hummus but I like the kebabs like the chicken Alwazia makes with the fucking salad yeah salad dressing I like me the Agostino one for Japan he's food you know and we go for it Americanized yeah it's completely different when you go to somebody's country and you read that fucking food in that country and you know then you hear the goat getting stabbed in the back and it tastes completely fucking different you know

that would be fucking tremendous if you heard it go back we're talking yes that was under the Agostino the other day and he was telling me that we're talking about family and he was telling me goes Lee doesn't get along with his brother no too much it's really weird he goes because he goes I didn't I felt bad he doesn't get along with his sister or something okay and we're talking he goes you know I don't feel that bad look at Lee you don't get along with you don't get along with your brother at all we've always been very different like he's he we just we always butted heads when you were kids you weren't buddies

not really it wasn't this bad and then we had a family issue that it kind of turned everything over when I moved out here and and yeah and we do you actually know if I've talked about it and it doesn't really bother me to be honest people my mom always says that in the end you're always only it's only gonna be you and him I see that and I would I would prefer if it wasn't like this but some people it's just you're not gonna click with in a couple weeks I'm going back to Boston for two days because next year I'm taking my mom to Israel for her 60th birthday with him so maybe that trip could bring us close together but

up until now it's just we just have it it's not like I would hurt him or anything but we just don't get up we don't we don't mesh when was the last time you saw him? saw him a couple years ago probably because he wasn't homeless past Christmas he was a he was taking a train cross country that's exactly the response you should have I don't know why why was he by himself with a girl by himself he finished school and instead of driving he just wanted to visit his friends and he found a good deal on a train but it was a fucking long time when I got a train it's a long fucking time on the train

yeah if you've noticed I love planes trains and automobiles that's one of my all-time favorite movies they don't fuck with trains man I just fucking don't no I just really don't fuck with trains because I did it one time from Miami to Myrtle Beach South Carolina it was a nightmare yeah it was a real fucking nightmare he seemed to like it and it's just and you asked me yesterday oh he's a personal trainer and fucking he he wrote on my Facebook wall a mother to a ghost like your people have found me and are calling me the flying Joe my YouTube videos said okay and then I find out from my mom that he's in this

competition for best new trainer whatever through men's fitness or something like that and he texts me on a Friday night when I'm with Paul can you tweet this and I said I didn't respond but I was with Paul and I was like okay I'll tweet it on a Monday because no one's really on Twitter on the weekend and in like three hours I was getting these angry texts how can we don't do anything for me and I'm like well first we haven't talked for like a year and now that you find out that I have a few people on Twitter you're gonna ask me and you get mad that I don't respond right away and it's just I don't I he

he's always been very manipulative and I just I don't like that feeling so I was like you know what man I was gonna do it but not talking for a couple years and the only reason you're contacting me is because of this that's not really how I want to do it so you know what it is it is a shame because my mom has a sister who she doesn't really get along with but it's a I don't know from I mean you know for you you I mean it's not by choice but you don't really have contact with your sister does it do you wish you did or oh yeah I just wrote a letter again you know I've been writing the letters and it's tough because I

don't write great Spanish mm-hmm but I know it's not the content it's the energy I'm sending you know I didn't talk to my sister not because we didn't get along but because there was no collines of communication for us what would you matter her that she chose to stay in Cuba not at all okay no no I didn't even think like that well you know it's it's amazing when I hooked up with my family about three years ago we all went out to dinner my cousins then the truth started coming out they were like can we talk to you about something you know what were you thinking when your mother died you know why don't you

contact us and I'm like let me talk to you guys about something I don't know if you this is dawned on you do you motherfuckers know what runs through a child's mind when he's 15 his mother dies he goes for the immediate you motherfuckers weren't even on the continent yeah you know you guys were in fucking Cuba what did you want me to do to keep in touch you how through what means through what angles I didn't have any numbers you know that so I'm not gonna lie to you guys and I'm gonna tell you that yeah maybe I slipped by not contacting is I didn't have a number to contact you I had gone to war with my

uncle I had so many other things on my mind after my mother died when I was 15 that you know it wasn't even it wasn't even a thought process I was just trying to fucking survive I was just trying to survive and overcome what just happened you know just on a daily basis and be as normal as can be you know I was I was already reaching for things that were gone I was I was trying to get you know my dad's life insurance policy I was trying to do all these things and I was getting snubbed those people aren't gonna help the cause what were they gonna do for me 3,000 miles away we're gonna go they're in Cuba what

are you gonna do so it was it was very weird with my sister I think she expected more and I told her the same I go listen my mom died I didn't know how to get a hold of you you know and I explained her mice when I went to dinner with my one uncle the uncle was on the podcast his brother my mother's brother different brother mm-hmm I explained to them that you know the death of my my sister had her own doubts because my sister was left in Cuba how would you feel yeah and we're in New York rocking and rolling and my mom sending money and talking to her but it wasn't the same and my mom's goal was to

get her out of Cuba all those years my mom spent hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to get her out couldn't get her out this was way before 79 it's just ironic that my mother died November 79 maybe a month later they opened up fucking Cuba oh you know my that was my relief though that was that one that was returning Montana came in 80 okay so there's been a couple there's been the big and barred they call them different names those are my elite those these that came came on truck tires so they call those baseros that's the truck the the the tube okay truck tie so do you know they have different names with

different invasions of the Cuban world you know I listen I lived with a guilt about my sister for years but guilt doesn't pay the rent right guilt doesn't feed the fucking cats guilt doesn't I moved on I am guilt-ridden you know I'm guilt-ridden with my sister I'm guilt-ridden about my daughter again what do I'm gonna do sit here and play a fucking ukulele and sing fucking Christian songs and pain I can't do it you have to move forward as a man you have to move forward you embrace what's going on you work out to see if there's a plan for you and if not you figure out how to live with this thing that's

going on really interesting yesterday I went to jiu-jitsu yesterday we didn't do podcasts or I had the family all day so I did some writing in the morning I got up like a floor and I got some writing in I did some jiu-jitsu we went to lunch I took them to act I went to acupuncture and then I picked them up went to look at some offices we met with you and then I went and picked up the patches patches and gorges and then we just went to a park you know we just went to a park what we usually do and she was trying to steal some kids with the skateboard with the handle on it it's not a tricycle a scooter and we went home

and you know we were fucking around and everything was great I noticed at the end of the night how she dove on her mother I mean mercy is very tight with me but she's tight with the mom you know obviously and it was really weird that she got on top of we were watching Wally Kazam whatever that show is fucking tremendous she loves Wally Kazam and she jumped on top of my wife and was holding it I was like four feet away and I'm looking at my daughter I'm looking at my wife I'm thinking look at that love you know she just jumped she's 15 months old she has 15 months of trust yeah and she just jumped into my wife's

arms you know that's the only truth and as she was sitting there I saw my wife kissing her and I saw how she hugged my wife's neck really hard and I'm like you know that's a child right there that's that's love that's innocence you know mm-hmm at 15 months I can't imagine taking that from her you know like it was taken from me at 15 years old mm-hmm what it does to you that trust that love that she had thrown on and that's what I had on my mother I was my mother was the only thing in my fucking world you know so I was thinking about that I was looking I didn't get sad or anything I just looked at it for what it was and

it came to me you know that that's how intense you know I'm fucked up but I'm not as fucked up as I thought I'd be you know I'm not you know whatever you watch law and order these cop shows or MSNBC they always go to an abused home or the fucked up home I was raised from house to house and all this shit now I'm in here for murder and they try to blame it off on their fucking childhood you know when I saw that I saw the intensity of the pain of my childhood and I saw a lot of the things why I had done why I had done the drugs why I had you know Rob jewelry stores why I had acted out because it was all trying to get a

thrill to beat that pain of that bond that was broken between a child and its mother you know it's it's it's it's so weird that I've learned more about my life since that child's been born really yeah because I look at that baby and I see me in a lot of ways and I'm looking at me thinking of what happened I'm thinking about how I ended up so fucked up and how her innocence she watches Wally Kazam and she claps and she spins around Wally Kazam comes on she runs to the television what am I fucking that excited about anything yeah you know so child's innocence which what I'm trying to do is keep that innocence going till

she's 19 or 20 to have a spirit you know my spirit was broken at 15 I'm very surprised that I'm here you know but it's so weird when I look at mercy I've learned so much about myself I learned a lot about my life I learned where I got my bad habits from from doing certain things and they weren't corrected you know that's all you could do as a parent there's a lot of people that listen to the show that parents a lot of people don't don't give a fuck what I'm saying but the concept is there you're looking at your child and you're learning about yourself you know it's it's very weird it's it's been a fucking adventure you

know when I do this that's why family bonds are just so strong you know to me I have a sister but I don't and I don't have a brother but I'm very tight with the ones that I have as you notice have you seen so in my world I understand where you're coming from and I don't but I understand more because there's kids that I've grown up with that are more brothers to me than their own brothers and I've seen that yeah I've seen that the brothers have even said to me my brother loves you bro like your family because my brother loves you like you know when I was this this last Sunday or Friday was my buddy Jimmy Burkle's

anniversary of a one-year was that you know I can't believe how much I miss him like I never ever thought in this world that I would miss a man the way I miss him just our little conversation dick what's going on dick he would just call me leave a message dick and he'd hang up you know just those little things you know I always talk about you know there's these unsung heroes in my life they deserve more credit than what I give him I gave Jimmy Bender credit last Tuesday at the tape when I was talking about our show our each show this isn't happening we're talking about role models and I talked about you

know Jimmy Benton and then I think about something like Jimmy Burkle who without fucking no doubt I would never be here because he took me out of Jersey at a very timely part of my life where they were all getting ready to fucking blast me and he talked me out of leaving to go to Colorado and get a new life and blah blah blah blah bond whatever Jimmy did he did that for me in his life in a way it was his sole purpose to save my life and for me to grow as a man you know once he saved me that motivated me like I had to do something for him mm-hmm so what I do today is because of Jimmy in a way I do it for him because he gave

me such a great chance at this he pulled me out of there it's not like he gave me money and no no no he just said if you want to go you're welcome you got to bring your own fucking money I take care of yourself so when I went out there you know I did whatever I did but it put me on the path to us sitting here today you know I'm saying oh absolutely when I think about I think about friends I had that are really my brothers and I think about you you know this thing that's going and you're not at war with him you just don't know I understand and we and just for anyone out there if you do find him he's not a bad kid and if we

were to get if we were together for holidays we'd we'd hug and then we'd talk but it's just it's it's kind of like people from high school I guess how you kind of just drift apart we're not really a war we are we are you but all brothers argue so just so if you do find him on Facebook don't don't go and attack him he's not a bad guy but it's it's interesting no nobody's saying he's a bad guy it's your relationship I want to make sure but relationship plan but yeah no it's a it is different I don't have I have a couple people I'm close with but it's interesting how all your friends were like you and Darren and you

have a bunch of people who were all your brothers and it's a I think I think that's definitely kind of have to replace it were you a little real was any part of you at all jealous when you're when Mercy jumped on your wife not at all really cuz I can see that myself getting jealous about that yeah not at all it's love it's you know I it depends on what part of your life you're in you know when you're 10 you could be jealous when you're 20 I have a jealousy thing but not really because I know it doesn't do anything for you yeah it used to make me crazy and I was 20 you know after you didn't rock I make me crazy

no more I just had to say something you know but not at all not at all doesn't make me that because you know she loves you too it's just as that moment she just jumped on your wife listen no no no she comes over and she climbs on the footrest mm-hmm and she jumps on me too great don't let her do that she's gonna do that when you're not home and you know what man there's times like yeah yesterday before I was talking to her we wouldn't live and I had to blow my nose I walked backwards to get the tissue paper and I stuck my head in the bathroom just my head I took the arm to rip the tissue paper and when I look back

two seconds later she was on all fours about to stand up on the footrest you know she's gonna fall oh yeah she's gonna fucking fall so you know I'm just hoping she'd sprawl from I'm not home I don't want to hear the kaboom and the crying and the fucking towel around the head with the ice cuz like that that I can't deal with that I can't deal with I'll faint you know oh I had something terrible have my dad did the icy London like the bouncing on the knee thing and put me down he was doing that one night and we had a we had a coffee table in my head I hit the corner of the coffee table and I just remember like I'm towel

around my head all red I must have been less than five I just remember that towel that's a fucking harm when I got bit by the dog yeah Bronx I remember having cotton on my face that's all they had like and they kept saying don't look and I went into the mirror and I put the thing down I seen the blood cotton I never forgot that I've never forgotten that memory of five when I got hit in the head with the flashlight in New York your head with a flashlight oh the first day of first grade where's those edibles at let's get this party started I already have my morning I'm already sweating right now we got a split one

there's one more let's split it that's it can't let's pass over you can't walk on one leg it's in kosher though it's kosher no it was blessed take half take half my brother what the fuck the power of Christ compels you come on look at that look at that ain't half of you this is you sure look at you buddy I want to tell you last night I said make sure you stop and you get a nice healthy breakfast so mold me on a piece of wheat toast and fruit look at you you're chewing that like it's sperm in a fucking in a capsule chew that motherfucker with heart oh my god mm-hmm I want to thank my people and fucking yeah Graham Rapids I

love you guys are delicious if you guys are cubes I don't know where to get them from Facebook.com slash black dog and edibles and where they are the California they're Michigan where they are I would assume they're out of Michigan like the packaging I like how they put the THC levels in the back here and she was putting the fucking thing on the microphone you can see yeah they put the THC test on it okay yeah each one is fucking 20 out of 20 milligrams because this one had canna cubes apple and canna cubes blue raspberry the blue raspberry is delicious what are you talking about 20 milligrams they just put that for

design it's like five I love it every time I talk to you you're getting a different percentage of a new venture and there's also an edible with so few milligrams I'm not even gonna know listen brother I don't talk to my fucking ex-wife yeah I don't talk to my daughter but I don't walk around with the guilt okay okay I let the guilt go which is what you've done you know you don't feel guilty about it you've accepted it you know there's people in life you're gonna talk to you know I don't talk to Jackie's godmother anymore fucking 20 years 20 years I haven't talked to people that were my fucking sister and brother in

law sister and brother in law over in their mind it's over 200 hours it's my mind it's about taking sides they took sides with somebody over me I just never talked to them again never conversation ended when Facebook started she said the friend request I almost stuck my hand to the fucking computer you know I'm a nice guy I love people I love having relationships with people I love fucking around with people you know you don't like giggle me and the Agostino giggle like girls you know me and Steve Simone giggle like girls me and Josh Wolf giggle me and Joe Rogan giggle me and Ari giggle I like the giggle but there's

some part of it man a conversation ends for me it ends you know I don't go back and I feel guilty I should put my end up every day every couple days if I if I'm not telling you guys this on the church or Lisa I had a mind to you every couple days I feel like picking up the phone and calling my if you know anything about me if you know anything about me as a man if and if you believe me as a co-host of a fucking podcast that we're trying to set an example here there's nothing I like to do more than to call my ex-wife and say hey man how you doing bubba bubba what's going on but you know what guys it's not gonna go anywhere it's not I'm

dealing with somebody to try to cut my legs off yeah there's people in life who make mistakes has people in life who are on your wife or they're on your girlfriend or they call your faggot or something that that's one thing but to try to cut your fucking legs off is another I cannot get myself to you know hey listen and I'm no angel in this I'm sure I said things to hurt our feelings but feelings and cutting somebody's legs off are two different stories mm-hmm me in my life I would never cut somebody's legs off unless I was going for them unless they did something to take me the fuck down I'm not gonna lie to you I've

had gone for people's legs before you go enjoy what the fuck you talking about couple years ago I got the sopranos but one of the guys on the sopranos didn't like me so he went to the producers and said something that's cutting your legs off okay you don't like me you don't fucking like me that's okay but for you to go out of your way my ex-wife did everything she could to go out of her way for me to fail do you understand me she wanted me to fail to make me look bad in in in front of my daughter here is guys when I decided to make the move from my daughter to conquer comedy to get into comedy because I had nothing

else part of the thing I was leaving behind in the conquer was my daughter I was my plan was to communicate with her the way most parents do from out of state but once I left I really lost control of relationship and even though I called and I sent things you guys know anything about me one thing I do is fucking call for me to give up on calling it's because it was that bad it went on we communicated so 2000 maybe five so a little before the long-distance yard came out we communicated with no problems I mean there wasn't Rosie it wasn't a rosy relationship and one day I just decided that for my health for her

health and especially for Jackie's health that this wasn't going anywhere because she was getting beat up from two directions do you understand oh yeah yeah it's like if you work for me and my wife you getting my wife is saying shit to you and I'm saying shit to you yeah no amount of money is worked at Lee no amount of money is worth that if my wife was saying leave that box there and I'm saying to put it over there oh yeah my wife's a dummy and if you come in and you get in the middle of it and that's what they were doing to my what my daughter so I don't want anybody to think I don't talk to her because I'm just a

hard-headed fuck she was in the middle of something bad she was in the middle of something that a child shouldn't be in the middle of at that age who determined that me because I know what a child should be involved at that age I was a child at one time and I know at 14 I heard things I should have never been exposed to you know I goof around with you guys how you know I was going to Bruce Lee movies and shit at fucking 10 and 9 at that cinema that's not right that really isn't right kids aren't ready to see fucking Charles Bronson shoot three black people when you're fucking nine years old you're really not in the

fucking mind I wish you were yeah I wish you were you know but uh it just didn't go nowhere me being around made the situation worse for her and that's what I decided to get spot at the same time guys I always kept in touch I always sent money my child supports pay to have my license you know I can't travel internationally because of the fucking warrants that's the only reason why not because of passport issues nothing like that but I also did something else I also decided that if I wasn't gonna be there to watch her grow full time I was going to dedicate myself to whatever the fuck I was going to do 150 with her name

on it like all my push is with Jackie's name on it every time I wake up in the morning Jackie's in my thoughts somewhere along the line making me get up because I had approved her that in the meantime I wasn't out there drinking like the mother thought I was gonna be or smoke and see the mother by now thought I'd be dead every time they ran that trailer for Gredge match over the holidays she had to see her once or parents had to see her once and her fucking phone rang she goes right to the drinker or pops 22 fucking pills or gets the rope ready because she didn't expect me to live

right and that's how I fuck her in the ass on a daily basis between you and I wanted to kill her everybody knows that it's common fucking knowledge somebody cut your legs off at that state of mind what I was thinking at that time I don't know how she got away with it God fucking shined on me you know I'm not an atheist I'm a Catholic and I believe there's something out there but I'm also a Buddhist in mind I'm also a Cuban Jew and I'm also a Santeria specialist a 101 but I do believe that there's something out

there strong as a directs is how do I know when I look at that little girl when I look at mercy yeah and I look at my sperm sack and I see them 51 I look at my face and I see my past and I look at my wife and my wife is okay but for me to have something that sweet in their life there's gotta be somebody up there that decided to say you know what you're in your stripes bro you didn't lose your mind you didn't shoot a fucking wall full of kids you gave the blow a fucking shot I'm gonna throw you a little something just to show you life did have some hope to it

yeah life does have hope man life really does have hope to it don't fucking ever give up man I gave up a lot of times physically I gave up with just you don't like when you plug your phone in and it says you're like 3% yeah that's to the point I was in my life fucking many a time man I answer the emails I see where you guys are at you might be at 3% full you know you're ready to fucking tap out fuck that shit put somebody's picture on that fucking 3% make that motherfucker go up to 60 and hit the ground running bitch

you know what I'm saying they ain't no looking back you know we've all been at that point in our lives where 3% 2% energy left we're really give up hope man and it's weird I might not necessarily believe it on a higher power but for some reason I do believe in karma like I fuck yeah karma I always fuck yeah I you ever been spanked by karma I I have been spanked by fucking karma I don't know if it's something that you by doing something negative just do feel negative or if it actually is something real but like you said like I mean I don't I can see how we're seeing

mercy like there has to be a higher power but maybe it's just how you the energy you were putting out the energy your wife was putting out it's uh it is pretty crazy every fucking morning man I write down before I leave Facebook and Twitter if you notice I write have a great day anybody could say that shit but they don't anybody could say that but they don't you know I say that because I start with those words or I want those words in my head early in the morning when people hit me up in Twitter in the morning we're going back and forth

I'll throw out 15 loves in the morning and they'll sit there going what the fuck is he talking about because that's all we want to put out all fucking day I don't even know what love is you know what love is you have any fucking idea the word sounds a lot better than hate the word sounds a lot better than cunt the word sounds a lot better than fucking fight and fuck you love sounds a lot better when you say love doesn't sound that fucking bad when I say fuck you even if I say fucking Finney get the fuck out of the cat food you know whatever you follow I'm saying to you so all those things just makes your fucking day a lot better oh yeah it's

gotta make your day a lot fucking better man when you believe you know so I believe I fucking believe every morning it's gonna be a great day you know who's this who do you think it is oh shit what's happening mr. steve villa I don't like your brother you know good over here with the flying jew it's Passover I'm trying to you know get the history of fucking Judaism from he's holding back on me and shit you're gonna have to enlighten me on that one well he's telling me you know the moses freed the jews the slaves there from Egypt he was just trying to tell the people at home put the music on and break it down for a villa he don't know I don't know I always thought it was chalk and hesson in the nra no no no no it was uh really moses and shit like that

our villas the other day I I wanted to talk to you for the last two weeks I've known you a long fucking time and we're very musically inclined I mean we grew up in your fucking basement in the shed playing music through a martial stack who plays fucking music through a martial stack we used to hook the damn stereo off to that thing and wake up the neighborhood oh my god and we had a drum set in there so you could jump on the drums and play the fucking drum yeah it really is yeah those those drums I think they were stines you remember stines yeah low in style Danny Loewenstein yeah those are those are his he was he was a good drummer man I don't know what happened to him I haven't seen him in it's gotta be 30 years he's around

he's around because uh some kid hit me up and said that he still talks to him from the old town and shit like that so he's around he just doesn't come down much but I saw that uh it's so weird how I look at what you post from time to time and what I post and we're fucking music savages one of my friends said to me the one day he's like man you really know about music and I'm like I don't really know about music he goes no no no no you really fucking know about music and I didn't think I did but Jesus all this time we put in all this time at the fucking stores the music stores you and I would go to that record store on Bergen Line Avenue up the corner from chicken delight you know which one I'm talking about that's why I bought sabotage yeah

do you remember I had extra money that was the first thing I would do I would take a walk up to Bergen Line Avenue because we walked everywhere you know and uh whatever was coming out that was new you know when you heard something was coming out that's what you did you just you just went you went to the record store they came out and got it or stuff that was old that you know maybe an older brother or somebody or a friend turns you on to you you know that's just what you did that's what we did you know and you'd sit there with the the big album cover and you'd study that thing and read the words and all the other stuff in liner notes and everything well while you were listening to it the first time I mean you just don't get that experience with you know CDs forget

about digital music you don't get that experience with digital music that's for sure well wait let's back it up a little bit you went you went home you ripped the album open you opened it up you fucking put weed in there you busted up a bud you ceded the motherfucker you rolled the joint then you smoked two hits then you put the album on and digested side one and then you'd smoke a little bit again and you digest side two and then you'd smoke a little bigger again then we'd talk about what we just fucking listened to absolutely either that or a little bit of hash from chicken from something but it was just amazing how I've always discussed that how we would open up the album and look at the liner notes and if you there's no creativity in a CD album no more

or in a download I love it I love the that you could just go click a thing and I got an album cover not to get in my car and go get an album and go through all that shit but I also missed that process we discussed the the coming home with the you that walk home is the longest walk of all time when you go buy an album and you want to listen to it yes it is you could not wait to get fucking home you prayed that there was none of your brothers were home you prayed that you know you just want to get home and listen to this thing that you've been hearing about and read up about and now you a CD you get a CD you open it up and there's nothing in there there's a piece of paper that's it no what are the what are the famous covers you remember those besides some girls

where you could spin the thing and fucking I still every episode every time we talk about music and albums I talk about the liner on the Led Zeppelin in through the outdoor yes in fact they have something online about it somebody uh wrote something because they said I brought it up and they brought it up and showed the Van Halen to I'm oh my god yes I think of all the albums we looked at the covers for hours to wall is you fucking painted on your wall yeah I was inspired we talked about that the other day man just you know we went up getting that album and then the tickets for the show and and once we had the tickets for the show we you know it just I would listen to that thing every day and then I decided to you know

paint it it was such a beautiful I have no idea but it was such a beautiful process because yes it was I remember my mother dying awake blah blah blah and then going back to school and then one night getting a call from chirpy aka lubes and said uh hey uh you know we're going to get tickets tomorrow we felt garage here well that's what they call them chirpy that's you chirpy junior cox and we uh I remember going to school and like looking at each other like we're playing hooky like why are we here why are we here we're going to get tickets and we got in the car and we went to a mall first and they didn't have tickets in parameters and then we ended up going to the fairly Dickinson or something like that yeah say the ticket running and that was even before ticket

master we're dating ourselves now brother and that's 1550 we paid for those tickets yes and then we got those tickets probably after Thanksgiving so it was probably the beginning of December the show was mid-February February 23rd February 20th something like that 24 so you had two months to listen to the wall and party and analyze it Lee's getting fucked up already it's passed over Lee ate a medical marijuana cannibal fucking cup and I just caught him staring at me as I got stuck you know your eye gets stuck that's when you know you're fucked up once that left eye gets stuck and you catch it and you can't focus it but you don't want to hit yourself in the side of the head because you don't want nobody to see you get your eyes stuck but uh it's brilliant how we for two

months and we did that with a lot of shows we did that where we get tickets and hold it for two months not for too much it was a countdown like everybody knew that you were going to see Ozzy April whatever everybody knew you were going to see uh you know the new barbarians or something everybody fucking knew well the new barbarians I didn't even know about like a week before yeah that show came around quick that was quick came around real quick I look up the schedule for that show when I look up what happened like you could Wikipedia that and it's very interesting for those who don't know it the new barbarians with Keith and Ron Wood put together a little band they toured there was like a with Charlie Watts Stanley Clarke Stanley Clarke right Ian

whatever on the piano they had a Robert Plant sing at some cities they had uh Rod Stewart sing at some cities it was pretty fucking cool little tour you know that they did back then in the 80s long fucking time ago Steve Avila I know the other thing he used to be able to get away with was was uh when the lights went out at the garden was just jumping over the walls get down to the to orchestra I must have jumped over three walls from like blue heaven all the way down we got down to like fifth row at that new barbarian show I never do remember that brawl it broke out in orchestra at the end of the show at the end of the show yeah yeah I still remember that fist fight shit flying up in the air and but it also ended like that at Ted Nugent AC DC

yes that's right Ted Nugent AC DC August 4th 1979 I was that one I still remember the fucking date I went over there with Chris Morgan and a bunch of fucking savages we all met at Luchy's you know I'm going to Orlando Florida this week and Joe Luchy lives in Orlando and I wish that he shows up I've hit him up on Facebook but I don't think Luchy Facebook's he's way beyond that you know yeah I've never I've never seen him on that he's actually there's somebody who I know that that oh god I ran into them not that long ago was was married to him girl um or is married to him and was up from Florida I don't remember why you know if you think yeah yeah yeah she's up from that's right they live in Florida that's what I'm saying I'm gonna go to Orlando on Friday but

it's so weird how growing up we had these little divisions like you had the parks and you had like 46th Street and you had people on 51st Street and then you had 64th Street that was always a scary area to go I remember walking home with you and even walking past that area was fucking scary when you were a kid because you didn't know who you're gonna bump into and what they were gonna give you it wasn't scary in the sense of you're gonna get beat up and not like that no it was scary because everybody in that four-block area got down late like when you saw people like you want to drink a beer you want to do an acid like it was just I OD'd at Joe Lucci's fucking basement how people don't know that when I was about 17 I OD'd in Joe Lucci's basement had to be

1988 like a quailude and did a bunch of bumps and I drank those Bud Night Wiser nips about 25 of those things and I did in the afternoon I OD'd in the corner yes yes I passed out I passed out even with the blow and people were concerned and people fucking asked me to go to a hospital and shit and could take care of myself fuck that yeah yeah but Joe Lucci's that was a that was a from 64th Street field all the way down you never knew what you were gonna bump I remember walking home one night this had to be 1981 I don't know where I'm at I don't know what I'm doing I'm walking home and I cut through the rocks because all that was a shortcut and I see corky it's got to be three in the morning it's a school night and I see corky this is when I lived with the benders and I see

corky with a bunch of other other guys from 46th Street field was 64th Street field and he still had work clothes on like at the time he sold cars but it was four in the morning so he got out of work at like six went out drinking now it's four in the morning he still had the white shirt on with a little bit of blood on it that the tie was taken off and they had a bunch of fucking people on the rocks and as I was getting there the cops came and put lights on them and they were like dancing in front of the cops they didn't fucking care I remember walking and going what the fuck did I just see that they did and they were grown men they were grown fucking men they had music on and jukeboxes whatever those fucking ghetto

blasters were and I'm fucking tremendous I remember you remember walking home to the cemetery and seeing the devil worshipers fuck yeah I might take a shit in that cemetery people around a fire dog I took a shit in that cemetery one night I had a shit really bad and I cut through that that cemetery cut like uh 40 minutes off your walk correct oh easy easy because on one point you come up by Larry McNeil's house on 51st Street but there was another cemetery that you came out by uh by 46th Street field you walked through that shit but where it got spooky was behind the projects that's where the devil worshipers were yeah well that's how you got down there that's how you got down through that that gap in the

fence you'd walk down that hill that hill with all the glass on it and stuff you've walked down that hill and that's that's how you get to the road I went because there was a basketball court there you had to cut through the courtyard there so one day I was walking through there one of the guys like hey shoot a game of fucking hoops with me so I said okay I started playing hoops and something I go stop I dropped my package if anybody finds it it's mine I look when it's right in in front of me there was a little bit of coke with like three fucking pills in there and they used to snort gasoline those kids what were you know like dicky time what were those kids down there the kids the kids that hung out at that at that particular basketball court like I didn't hang

out with them I didn't know them but that day they were snorting paint and they had another container gasoline they were snorting I never fucking forget that shit why'd you go by that because it's people snorting gasoline nothing wrong with that it's just you know some people like doing blows some people like gasoline we it used to do what is was that that freaking model that model glue that stuff that with that horrible smell yeah yeah they used to do them there with a paper bag over there that nose and mouth and they'd have pimples on their neck you get like some type of rash from snorting paint and shit like that you get like pimples on your neck and shit oh my god nobody fucking snorts glue no more what's this country coming to

I remember one time one of my best friends in life looked me straight in the face Ferney Basulto and he says to me what's snorting glue like I go I have no fucking idea Ferney I've never snorted glue he goes I'm thinking about doing it I swear to god this is the conversation we had like when he was like 20 do you know this motherfucker went and bought glue one day but he didn't buy model glue he bought Elmer's glue the dumb fuck I will never ever ever forget Ferney buying Elmer's glue and going I bought some glue you want to give it a shot I'll make Ferney it's not fucking Elmer's it's the you know what night that was bro we put what was the Calendrillo that used to walk around that used to live in the park bobby cow oh god I don't remember there was a Calendrillo that

lived in Hudson County Park I had the brother Daniel he said on fire yeah the one week that's where we set him on fire that was the night when Ferney bought the Elmer's glue because we got that glue and put it on the newspaper and put it in his back pocket and we lit the newspaper so the glue ignited the fucking paper it was that same night that's the same night we did it and he was the paper was burning in his pocket he didn't even know it Avila he had no idea there's smoke coming out from his back finally we told him you're on fire and he fucking jumped on the floor he did the spin roll whatever the fuck it is talk about a misspent youth you know what man it's what it made me today speaking about misspent youth I was seeing on facebook that you're doing a 30-year anniversary

what's it called bar 90 90 90 90 park 90 right outside Hudson County Park it's a big place in North Bergen it's actually it's so it's you know everybody's everybody from the year that we graduated we're all well chipping over that half a century mark so you know it's time to get everybody together it's very nice that you do these things brother I like that you do this but you know what's really sad I thought about that the guys that we really hung out with 82 they're not going to show up a lot of these guys are a long gone man like not long gone and death but I think that in life they moved on a little bit like I was telling you last night like to get one guy you got to invite 10 of them like if you want if you want Zahiggans you got to invite

the other guy the other guy and the fucking other guy to come together and they'll come as a family with the wives you know yeah we're the last of the Mohicans of those you got the band I'm doing stand-up comedy who would have thought we'd still be out there fucking plugging away every week did you at the age of 50 a villa did you think no you're gonna be a man you're an engineer in your daytime I just you know what man I just consider myself very lucky to be to be doing what I'm doing with the you know and finding guys basically to do it with you know to be able to play you know the years ago you know you wouldn't abandon what it last six months because everybody was just you know you're all crazy so now it's just I don't know it's just it's it's a privilege man it's

privilege and it's it's a blessing to just be able to do this now let me ask you this you're an engineer in the daytime correct yeah yeah I'm a propeller head and at night at night you're in a fucking band you have two daughters one in college one in high school a wife how the fuck do you find time man um it ain't easy it's a delicate balancing act that's it's just what you got to do you put your time in you you work your family and that always you know your family comes first regardless and you know the band to me is it's it's icing on the cake you know it's a hobby but for people who know you like myself I know it's an outlet I know it's something that you know I mean Steve the first time I met you was at a direct on 64th street and your band was playing your guitar string broke

it was like the biggest fucking thing I had ever seen you I don't even know who was in your band John Rago was playing the drums but that was over 40 fucking years ago that was 37 years ago so just a fact like I started comedy at 28 28 I'm 50 okay big fucking deal you've been doing this since you know and to just have the uh you know I'm doing this today because I want the people at home that listen to this you know I have a young demographic and I want them to know that you know 50 is fucking dick anymore like I never even thought of being 50 I always thought of being 37 because it was the year 2000 and I'm like I'll probably either die before that or die shortly after that and just when you posted that thing the other day it really ate me because on my 30

fucking years we graduated fucking high school I didn't think I'd make it out of high school five years I thought I'd be dead I really did man I didn't think I'd be fucking here right now sitting across eating edibles with the flying Jew talking to you on the fucking phone at a to a land though to do comedy at you know at at that age in the shed did you know what you wanted to do when we were sitting there at night doing our thing I didn't have a clue we didn't have a fucking clue live in a moment man you know so I didn't have a clue I knew I always wanted to play music but but you know yeah well who knew where you would be what you would be doing you know five years from then never

mind you know 35 let me ask you something just so you let these guys know how fast did the 30 years go below blink of an eye fucking fast blink of an eye if you remember that night when you're talking about when I was playing actually I was playing I was sitting in with Johnny Rago's band it wasn't even my band I was 12 years old yeah we were young we were very young I was you know 12 years old that's a long time brother that really is something you're very lucky to still be doing it you're very lucky you know we had a conversation last night about benefits and and how some people act weird and whatnot and how you were you know I'm so grateful to be able to do this it doesn't even matter about the paycheck and that's the same point I'm at in my life sometimes

you know I just like getting out and doing stand-up and yelling and screaming it's not about the money if it was about the money I'd be selling fucking blow and going for broke you know why am I gonna be doing this shit because it's a passion it's a love and you stick with it absolutely and you know what man of those you're in the past masters you know it's a band that's local to you you know I watch the photographs and I see the videos and it could be the stones or it could be the past masters to you it's your life I could see when you're up on that stage singing man so you gotta you know you gotta you put everything you have into it like when it's a passion man it's you sing from your it's not even from your gut it's from your balls

oh it all starts with your fucking balls you know that I mean that's where we're from is all about fucking balls man you know I'm in the shower this morning taking a bath taking a shot I'm like what am I gonna say today you know what am I gonna tell these guys today on the fucking Facebook wall and all of a sudden I said I don't know I'll think of something and all of a sudden you know you have those moments of doubt like huh I'm like grab your balls I mean exactly that's what I'm gonna tell them today grab their fucking balls in their hearts they gotta go out there nothing happens with our hearts and fucking balls and nobody knows that more than us man it was instilled in us at a young age that was our like fucking cliche thing for the neighborhood you know

it will all heart you gotta have fucking heart and uh yeah it's just really good to see that you're still here below 30 fucking years later you one of the you know you and your family the nicest fucking people in the world you know I call you every week you know I try to call you because you made that much of a difference in my life and when I see that when I watched that one video about a year ago that you put up with Julie Sacks and everybody was having a great time on stage you fucking inspired me a little you really did I was like Jesus Christ this guy I don't give a fuck if he's at the garden or he's at some bar in Munaki he's gonna give it 150 fucking percent and you gotta respect that you know that's the only way to do it it's the only way to roll

and if you're young and you're listening to this this is a friend of mine that you know this has been there since day one I passed out of his house I puked in his house I drank juice with fucking bees in it at his house fuck yeah bleed the juice with the bees the juice with the fucking bees in it bitch for all you kids that die from a beast thing suck my dick okay we were drinking fucking garbage out of a garbage can alcohol with juice and antifreeze in that motherfucker and then they put bees in that bitch okay they put there wasn't even a mistake no we put bees in that motherfucker how many bees you put in there Vils you and your family any any any you know because it was all sweet and stuff you had these bees flying around so the first thing you would do

we just you just whack these bees and knock them into the drink and they can't get out what was in the drink tell these motherfucking tell these fucking amateurs what was in the drink available in a garbage can filled without what was in that motherfucker oh god it was it was everything and anything people brought you know so it was you figure it was it was some juice some sherbet we threw fruit in there bees and in any bottle anybody had whether it was vodka gin jack jack damn whiskey everything went into there there was you know it wasn't just one alcohol was every alcohol so whatever was you know and you drank it you after a while you didn't taste it anyway you didn't taste it you just swallowed the bee like nothing like that so you can't absolutely

you know how these mexicans put a fucking caterpillar a worm in a ball of tequila yeah a villows they put bees in their fucking booze bitch that's old school Sicilian type shit from the hills bees i'm never forget i was so fucked up that i fell asleep on sensuo's lawn and i'll never forget the cop ray on that store woke me up on his lawn and drove me home and like my fucking mom answered the door and shit i mean i could remember waking up the next day in my yard would look like it would look like a war zone i mean there would be people sleeping all over the all over the yard you know i remember walking at the sunday morning people going to church and you know you know darin darin sleeping darin sleeping in the grass the pelican sleeping

on top of a garbage can i mean it was just a complete disarray of bodies all over the lawn sleeping outside i'm mad i'm mad oh we talked about this the last time you're on the podcast about a year ago about having a party at my house when we went upstairs you had your pants off or some shit we were sophomores in high school juniors and chris donovan was going to hit eddie berelli with the crutch in the head oh my god what the hell's they doing with my pants off i don't know you had some brought upstairs fucking dry humping to the death of some shoe oh okay and somebody went up there and they came down the villows up there with his pants down you gotta go say something i ain't saying nothing he's over the sling and dick who am i who am i li you gotta see lisa

at right now villo he's fucked up again i don't know why he does this every day he wants to come in here eat edibles he wanted to eat an edible every day for Passover did he do this to you when you were young did he like try to give you stronger drinks or give you stronger weed he must have at least this isn't new he didn't have to uh he volunteered we knew the deal we knew the fucking deal well i didn't have this when you were 19 you're a straight dude that had worse we were taking mesquite imagine taking a hit of something high for 12 hours seeing stars and pelicans and shit what would you do then lee cocksucker this is nothing i'm making you feel good i could pull your molar out right now you wouldn't feel it

i just remember the intermission at the wall looking down at orchestra section all it was was swirls of color that's all do you remember do you remember those things that it was it was like a toy when you were a kid it was like you put this thing on a on a in this little thing and you started the motor and it spun and you had these bottles of paint and you would just throw the paint at these things and it would spin and make art yeah i don't know if you remember yeah they spun around yeah we used to fucking you know veils i don't know you know i used to fucking trip heavy duty in those days that one year i think i took fucking mesquite every day i would take that shit my my resistance for that at some point it was amazing the animals i

saw i remember taking blotter acid and going home and the phone ringing and me going to answer the phone and being in front of the mirror and seeing my lip melt and going oh my god i got to call you back and i didn't tell the person on the phone that i saw my face fucking melt i just said i got to call you back and hung up yeah my it was uh it was some crazy stuff man crazy crazy i used to fucking trip a lot but we're here we are here no we're fucking here i'm very happy my my liver's good i went to acupuncture yesterday i had to clean up my adrenals just in case i had some leftover fucking cocaine in there from the 80s who knows when i was going to karate you know that cocaine sticks to your fucking fat so i'd be all fucked up throwing sidekicks and also i'd bump into a

coke rock like the titanic like a paranoid for a minute and then i'd i'd be back i'd be back a fellow a fellow when is this party at 90s i want some people to go up there and see some north bergen people tell them all about it it's saturday night it's a couple of weeks okay it's two weeks from this saturday no it's a week from this saturday it's a week from saturday not saturday next saturday if you're in jersey go up to north bergen and support i know you play places all over jersey what's other places you're gonna be playing this summer or in june or in may you know what actually is gonna be a really cool thing is we're playing um we're doing a couple of things over the summer we're playing the pace race out at the metal lens okay i think that's july 12th

so you come out feed the ponies and listen to some great rock and roll and then there's um we're doing two shows down in uh seaside park right outside right outside where the storm mill is so they're big outdoor concerts they're on wednesday nights from 7 30 to 9 30 so what is it one is july 9th and the other is august 6th i believe yeah july 9th and august 6th so those are some some cool shows to see in the summer that's fucking tremendous you know we're all over we're all over tpmrocks.com just look at our schedule you can find out where we're playing havella as usual i love you man i just wanted to tell you i'm happy that you're still putting the people together in our neighborhood you know i tried when i went to the stress factory

a lot of people came out but i'm happy you're doing what you're doing man you know 30 years went by like dick and that's what that was the main purpose of the call today i want to tell these fucking motherfuckers that you got to get up and strap a fucking cock on 30 years fucking flies by and next thing you know you're still in your house playing fucking xbox thinking where did time go you got to get out of the fucking house and make it happen of bills i love you cock suck i'll call you next week all right i'll talk to you soon thank you for calling brother bye bye my pleasure love you just like that bitches just like fucking that okay i don't want to hear no crying we drank bees in booze okay and you got to eat a fucking little cannabra pie in your fucking diet what's that

there's no more you want another one no look at the shape of your league but it's Passover if you're Jewish happy Passover i forgot to say that to all my fucking Jews that watch the show all your families let me give some shout out to you to my main man Dan Pazzini always give me love Abigail Posey Brady Ferguson Steph Burrell Sam Merry Productions you bad motherfuckers and Matt Silman i love you that's your fucking real name i don't even know what your fucking real name is anymore so we talked about your brother what were you giggling about we what the fuck is wrong with you it's wednesday the 16th of april and you're giggling what are you gonna do today i hope you're gonna go to the park and walk around this time where's all this no what do you mean no it's a

beautiful fucking day to be alive i might leave this office for a while what do you mean you're not leaving the office it's a fucking beautiful life i need you out there hustling doing some fucking push-ups mugging somebody hitting somebody with a car you got to get involved it's wednesday guy i love steve abillo and uh just saying what the fuck 30 years man 30 years that kid's been around i want you to think about some of you some of you guys at home aren't even 30 years old that's my friend you know and uh i'm proud of that i'm proud that i talked to people that long i'm proud and and i kept them all in mind even in my darkest fucking times i kept all those people in mind when i was in prison i didn't call abillo i don't want to call nobody from in there i got

nothing to say to you from in there i let i let them down but now i talk to these guys every day and uh i'm happy i'm very happy are you gonna go back to that to the bar thing or no i'm in fucking Baltimore for john jones okay took sarah i can never go to those things why i don't know it doesn't make me happy i see those people sometimes because he has a different realm of people okay he has a different realm of people in between you and i they were very decent and they don't remember me as being decent okay you're following me so you don't want to show off and be like you know i'm cool now no that doesn't mean anything to me i was cool then well yeah i was a bad motherfucker then but they saw me as troubled and they didn't want to hang out with me so for me to go they

now would feel redundant so how are you friends with steve then was it just because of the music he always believed in me man he never judged i don't think i think that he felt bad a lot of those guys knew what i was going on through they knew i was a thief they knew i had become a piece of shit they kept me the arms distance but they still cared about me you know i'm saying i was very lucky they still cared about me and steve was one of those guys let's see and he cared about me for who i was he asked me how i was doing you know i couldn't ask him for money i knew i was gonna go nowhere there i couldn't say nothing to those guys you know all he could tell me was that he loved me and that he was thinking of me from time to time you know i never forgot what he did for me i never

forgot that he he fed me i never forgot that he didn't judge me what had happened was i was friends with loops first okay okay and kanthi and a bunch of guys this is what really happened for the people at home that want to know i don't you don't give a god i don't care about old history there was this group of guys like a gang called the boys and my hometown tough guys they didn't do they didn't make they weren't a criminal organization so that's why i didn't give a fuck about them they just drank then we got together at night and drank and the girls would sit there and look at them and they they count how many beers they drank and you know that that was what they were doing at 15 me i thought there was more to life so i'd go to their parties yeah and say hello and hang out with

them but they went into drugs there was like six or seven that were very straight they just drank and they smoked pot there was the other crew me lubi glenn we snore the code we wanted to go into the city i mean these guys want to sit in the garage every night with flannel shirts on and drink and listen to music and talk about football and shit like that and then girls would come over and the girls would say stop drinking and they would tell you know this is my 18th beer i didn't want to do that at 15 okay i knew at 15 i didn't want to do that so one day i went to one of their parties and they're like we want to make you want a little boys this is no shit people this is what they do like we want you to be in this fucking girl band and i go all right right so they're

fucking whatever they anoint me whatever the fuck it is and i'm a little boy now which means i go to i have to go to the parties and i have to hug each other at 10 12 and sing a song please so i go to a couple things but it's not really my whole thing and then one night i have a party my mom goes to miami and i have a party but you know me i invited everybody i invite gangsters from union city i invite spanish kids from west new york i invite basketball players i invite i invite the the fucking uh the dirty white fucking killers not them yes i invited those motherfuckers from downtown billy osan those guys billy osan had no teeth at 14 from smoking cigarettes oh god and he would fucking heal all he had was stubs and he'll put the cigarette in the stub and leave

it there in between his teeth tremendous so i have this party and i have this party i invite everybody there's almost a fight and about a week later i hear the little boys want to throw you out of the little boys because when you had that party you invited everybody it was supposed to be a little boy party just the original 16 members like i'm fucking one of the apostles it sounds creepy hearing it now oh my god creepy as shit creepy as shit so they threw me out and i think it'll fuck you bro like what the fuck and they declared war on me oh no all right they like wanted to beat me up so one day before i go to hashways to get mescaline and that one burkle kid walks across the street and i was friends with jimmy burkle okay the guy who took saved my life and

took me to colorado yeah he had a young brother ron burkle oh who thought he was a fucking tough guy one day he comes over and pushes my bike and we push each other and shit and nothing happens but they had to take sides so glen kanthi took a side yeah steve avilo took a side and lubes told those motherfuckers to suck their dick and they couldn't believe it they had a big talk they couldn't believe it you're doing this over respect but that's the way things worked out wow so they took a chance for me so till the end of time i take a chance for them now you know why i talked to lubes today now you know why i talked to steve avilo today glen kanthi poor guy he's hanging out with joe lostein so you don't want to talk to me no could someone please animate that whole story

about all the little boys that is my favorite thing you ever talk unbelievable so i i fucking hated that shit since i was a kid i didn't want to be part of fucking dick since i was a kid and why do you want to hang out they'd be the big boys where they look the big boys with their older brothers another bunch of fucking jackpot unbelievable huh unbelievable and they weren't a criminal fucking organization they just did it to order beers and drink beers when they found that i was a criminal they fucking went nuts oh my god a little more of their dad's calls the fucking scumbags of debt today i want you do you have any honor that the fucking house cocksuck no you got to get some honor at the house enough with this shit you got to get some

shroom dick get the party started you're looking a little thin and pale today i love honor honor it's always been there for me i went to jujitsu yesterday i took the shroom tech sport i had energy yesterday even john evin said to me your breathing is a lot fucking better so please people if you're gonna consider getting healthy or you want to add some fucking uh strength or you want to fucking make your workouts more efficient go to honor see what they got to offer they got from the best protein powder out there hemp force to shroom tech the strong bone to new mood you know click on to honor.com read what they have they have kettlebells and ropes and all that stuff and that's fine and dandy but it all starts with what you put in your body you know they have to

turn around 180 they have the fucking alpha brain which is the best stuff on the market they just made some announcement i mean they keep retesting it and refining you know i'm on the alpha brain cycle right now that's why i'm wide awake i'm fixed i got a good night's sleep after acupuncture i'm not gonna lie to you people go with fucking honor go to honor.com right now see what they got start with alpha brain get the little jar give it a sample you get it's a money back guarantee i don't know if you don't you guys know that i don't know if you mentioned it do me the favor go to honor.com see what they got trust me what i'm telling you bro i've been staying fucking healthy with them for about a year and a half now i love what they fucking got to offer go to honor

if you want to order something use my bucks get 10% off they also have a stay on a program where they'll mail you the stuff right to your house the first of the month 10% off the 10% i give you is 20% off you'll be saving fucking get us from now to fucking the end of time go to honor pressing church in the box c-h-u-r-c-h and get 10% off and they'll know that you're hanging out with me and everything's fucking copacetic all right dollar shave club i can't tell you about this anymore i can't i can't keep telling you i got a thousand fucking million satisfied fucking people because it's all about price and customer fucking service and that's what i'm bringing you cock suckers do you have to get in your car and go get a razor and stand there and

it's in the shit fuck all that shit this comes right to your house bam you don't have to leave the house you're gonna do dick all you gotta do is go to fucking dollar shave club dot com and press what package you want whether you want the fucking four razors with the doubles or you want the four razors to triple whether you want the fucking cocoa butter for your face whether you want the the one wipe charlie for your asshole and your nutsack it's getting hot right now oh yeah humidity season's coming you don't want to work around with stinky fucking nutsacks if anything somebody bumps into you want your balls it tastes like peppermint it's like a tic tac a big fucking tic tac trust montagna go to dollar shave club today right now while we're

fucking talking go on the website if they got a price of packages from one dollar to six dollars to nine dollars a month have you looked at to see what a package of razors cost you a lot more than nine dollars a month yeah do me a favor go to dollar shave club right now stop fucking around even if you can't six dollars six times fucking 12 months is 72 dollars okay 72 dollars a year to have your shave products how many fucking times are we're gonna go over this with this shit with you people knock it off knock the fuck off go to dollar shave club right now today don't fuck around and pick a fucking and you're not gonna be i'm telling you even the razor handle you could throw it you could break fucking car windows with it you could do anything you want

you could hit somebody in the fucking head with it you could shut up their ass i don't care what the fuck you do go to dollars go to dollar shave club today a dollar six dollars and nine dollars put what are you putting the code church and get the fucking program and then know what's cracker like and that's it though nail the life.com again they came down last week smoking fucking dabs and vapors and i don't know what they fucking got the vapor pen is solid as fuck it's the best in the market i got one i use it to smoke the fucking vapor i'm not smoking a wax normal that's a personal reference not because i don't like it i'm trying to get take care of my fucking lungs where's the water leak you got me over here you got me over here like a fucking camel in the sahara

i'm all right okay all right so nail that life.com go on there if you order a vapor pen you get 20 percent off to put joey dears in the box 20 fucking percent off that's how they rolled all right who the fuck you think you're dealing with now let me tell you this this i gotta say a few people just so you know this is for the professional stoners naturesbox.com that's all i got to say get the plantain chips get the fucking uh the the the spicy pistachios guys again you get dick because you don't come over have you ever came over for the edibles he was supposed to have already given you a bag but you get who gots the other day i had the poppy seed uh sticks like sesame sticks guys listen they're tremendous fucking healthy snacks but some of the shit they have is completely

off the chain whether it's the black and white granola the apple figs the fucking plantains and i'm i'm Cuban i'm Cuban bitches i've been eating plantains for what 50 fucking years these little plant plant plantains were so delicious i ate the whole bag i didn't even save one for my wife go to naturesbox.com you get 50 percent off your first order that's right you heard it right 50 motherfucking percent off your first order all they got oppressors joey in the fucking box 50 percent off your first order and then they come after that every month read the fine print do all that shit don't matter the snacks are so fucking good plus the nutritionists approve they're healthy trust me i wouldn't fucking bullshit especially all you fucking

reef heads out there go to naturesbox.com what are they pressing the box joey joey what the fuck is my what's with the storm today leah it's passed over you're gonna go to the temple today what are you gonna do how you're gonna act when you get there tell me something good hmm i don't know dude ah fuck i what leah you gotta get it together no more this shit and that's it the presale on the shirts it's over the patches are in they're fucking gorgeous the mugs are in show them a mug you want to drink coffee at the office you got to have a cool mug represent the church or what's happened now all right i don't want you to buy a fucking 25 dollar shirt it's 6.99 for the mug and you represent it all fucking helps out you know

we don't even make nothing because the gold goes to fucking taxes those fucking thieves i see what i have to pay yes yeah fuck jesus christ but you got to pay him people what are you gonna do it's like the mafia only got to pay it to you know you can pay him online you can pay the mafia on fucking line because you believe that and i'll tell you what people if you don't pay your taxes it's gonna creep up on you i let it creep up for years on me and they almost caught up and i went to them before i didn't file taxes for close to fucking 12 years damn something like that so please people take care of it call the IRS say you want to go down and talk to them they don't go back on they only go back seven years you're not gonna get in trouble you're not gonna go to jail don't

walk around with that if i used to do that shit procrastinate all the time i don't fucking do it no more take care of this fucking little thing they're gonna be there they're there forever they don't disappear they will show up i just got hit with a fucking school loan we had to pay from fucking 30 years ago they don't show up they they come out of the woodwork so please next you know they're taking money do you have you guys have no idea what it is to get taken money taken out of your check have you got money taken out of your check out of the regular taxes now you have no idea when somebody puts a garnishment on you and you go to your bank account you're eating dinner and you go to pay and your card comes back not valid and you go to the bank and they have a fucking

thing somebody took a thousand dollars out of your bank account and you can't figure out what it was and it's fucking child support or you know IRS IRS will go in your fucking bank account bro i bet and then they didn't go on my bank account when i had the problem with the child support she would see me on tv she would try to raise the fucking thing so bolder will lock up the fucking payments you have no idea what i went through with that stupidity so take care your paperwork so don't lock up your shit i mailed in a check did you mail in your check yeah i heard you were high and fucked the post office i was walking around for 40 minutes i the one i go to has meters i was like okay 15 minutes will be enough i wanted to put it on so i could track it because i'm i'm nervous

about that getting done it wasn't open yet but you go inside and i walked around for so long trying to get the right stickers i was there for 40 minutes that's good yeah yeah i need for you to do me another favor so you're going to israel with your mom next year and your brother and you're paying for this you're having a good time how long you're going for i don't know probably a week good for you guys so it's not for over a year and you're gonna get along with your brother you'll try during the trip we'll have to you good you know man give it a shot if it doesn't work after israel then you move on with your life yeah right you know have you talked to him since that night with the fucking twitter no did you win the contest i have no idea call him up let's see

everyone say how do you feel cocksucker next time you need leap don't say that to your brother just you know you don't want something to happen to your mom you're not talking to this fucking knucklehead right that's what i'm saying that's the other thing you you always want to be at least civil with him you know and then someday he'll come out here and see what your world is about you're sure will you have you doing some jumping jacks i'm sure he loves that you're a fucking animal look at the shape of you you're a bad mother for subscribing you had substrate put your headphones on straight you got them covering up you you're deflecting the fucking sun here you're looking good you're a sharp motherfucker i love you cocksuckers i'm nowhere

this week and i'm with joe rogan orlando next weekend i'm with fucking joe rogan and baltom on the week after that i'm with joan rogan and santa barb that's how i'm doing it for the next three weeks i ain't pushing nothing they're already sold out so you do what you need to fucking do me and lee are at the ice house april 30th for a live podcast we got a great guest lee's t-shirts are on sale thank you juradio.net leesahead.com and joeydies.net is always here for you whether you want to send an email or just talk about something or whatever the fuck you want to do order something whatever get tickets everything is on there what'd you learn this weekly cocksuck anything good what'd you learn i learned office hunting is tough okay and you only

went to two fucking things cocksuckers no but it's hard to find one in like the specific area fuck these people bro and then uh what else you don't learn nothing no well though eat breakfast before you take an edible that's the fucking word of the day okay happy pass over to everybody i love you guys have a great weekend we'll be back next monday and wednesday same bat time same bat motherfucking channel get it together today you only got one shot at this make them all suck your dick now that the show's over don't forget to sign up for dollarshaveclub.com get high quality razor sent to your door every month for fraction what you pay retail go to dollarshaveclub.com forward slash church or just go to joeydies.net and click on the

dollarshaveclub banner also remember to go to naturebox.com and order great tasting healthy snacks at 50 off snack smarter in the new year with healthy and delicious treats like french toast granola support this podcast and get 50 off your first order go to naturebox.com and use promo code joey the naturebox.com promo code joey hit it oh shit thank you for listening this week guys have a great week take this to the motherfucking bank what funky rhythm i'll be kicking musician inflicted composition of pain i'm like scarface sniffing okay holding the m16 see with the pen i'm extreme now bullet holes left in my peat poles i'm suited

up with street clothes hammy and nine and out the feet froze y'all know my steelo with or without the airplay i keep some e and j sitting pen up in the stairway or either on a corner batting grants with the silo chips laughing at base heads trying to sell some broken amps g pass get off quick forever niggas talk shit reminiscent about the last time the task force flipped niggas be running through the block shooting time to start the revolution catch a body hand for houston once they caught us off guard the mac 10 was in the grass and i ran like a cheetah with mortsam and assassin picked the mac up two brothers back up the mac spit lab was hitting niggas one ran i made a backflip heard a few checks scream my arms shook couldn't look gave another squeeze heard

a click yo my shit is stuck try to cock it it wouldn't shoot now i'm in danger finally pulled it back and saw three bullets caught up in the chamber so now i'm jetting to the building lobby and it was full of children probably couldn't see as high as i'd be what you say it's like the game ain't the same got younger niggas pulling the triggers bringing fame to the name and claim some corners cruise without guns and corners and broad daylight stick up kids they run upon us for fives and gauges max effect saying niggas to catch your back to back stretching cracks in black there was a snitch on the block getting niggas locked so hold your stats to the coke price drop i know this crackhead who says you got a smoke nice ride and if it's good you should bring your

customers and measure and price but yo you got a slot on a vacation inside information keeps large niggas are racing and they while spacing it drops deep as it does in my breath i never sleep cause sleep is the cause of the depth beyond the walls of intelligence life is the fun i'm thinking prime when i'm in a new york state of mind state of mind state of mind state of mind state of mind state of mind state of mind state of mind state of mind state of mind state of mind state of mind they have a dream that i'm a gangster drinking moets holding texts making sure the gas came correct then i step invest mix and stock sewing up the box to sell rocks when a gun fights with mega cops with just a nigger walking with his finger on the trigger making up figures until

my pockets get bigger i ain't the type of brother made for you to start testing give me a smithing lesson i have niggas are dressing thinking of cash flow we attack you as a fuck get up eat your oatmeal do some jumping jacks my plentate plays bullets and strays young bitches is braids each block it's like a mage full of black rats trapped plus the owls in his pack from what i hear in all the stories where my people come back black i'm living where the nights is jet black the fiends fight to get crack i just mech a dream i could sit back and lamp like capone with drug strips on all the legal luxury life rings flooded with stones homes i got so many rhymes i don't think i'm too sane life is parallel to hell but i must maintain it be prosperous though we live dangerous cops

could just arrest me blaming us we're hell like hostages it's only right that i was born and use mics and the stuff that i write is even tougher than dice i'm taking rappers to a new plateau through rap slow my ramen is a vitamin hell without a capsule the smooth criminal on beat breaks never put me in your box if your city's taste the city never sleeps full of villains and creeps that's where i learned to do my hustle had to scuffle with freaks i'm an addict for sneakers 20s of buddha and bitches with peoples in the streets i could greet ya i'm about plants i teach and held deep like the words of my breath i never sleep because sleep is the cousin of death i lay puzzle as i backtracked earlier times nothing's equivalent to the new york state of mind

yes