Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #170 | LEE SYATT | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ
Episode Date: June 8, 2022Welcome to UNCLE JOEY’S JOINT..... It’s Wednesday, June 8th.... Today we caught up with LEE SYATT & talk about the Amazon AMP App!!! Download AMP for Apple here & follow UNCLE JOEY: https://apps....apple.com/us/app/amp-host-live-radio-shows/id1586403838?ppid=f56ebc6e-1622-4ad2-89bf-85a766dd6c4c This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com This episode is also brought to you by Factor, Fully Prepared Meals, Delivered to your Door, CBD Lion & Draft Kings... Go to https://go.factor75.com/joey120 and get $120 Off your Order! Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY For 20% OFF Your Order! Support the show by downloading the DraftKings Sportsbook app, and use promo code JOEY to get $150 in free bets when you spend $5 on UFC 275… If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org/chat  (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 1-877-770-STOP (7867) (LA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), visit OPGR.org (OR), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/LA/MI/NH/NJ/NY/OR/ PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Min. $5 deposit required. Eligibility restrictions apply. See http://draftkings.com/sportsbook for details. Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #LeeSyatt #Amp #Factor #CBDLion #DraftKings The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint
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What's happening, you bad motherfuckers?
It's Wednesday the 8th.
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I love you, cock suckers.
Let's get this party started.
We got Lisa, I drop in some knowledge here today.
Hey, how you doing?
Come on in.
Yeah, Joey's in the back.
Check one, two.
Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint.
What's happening, you bad motherfuckers?
It's Wednesday, the 8th of June.
Welcome to the joint.
It's been a great fucking week so far.
I'm feeling good.
I had a little blast, a fucking diarrhea the other night in the middle of the night.
It was a nightmare.
I went to fart and it came out the juice.
I had to run out of bed.
I'm sorry to open up the podcast with this, but sometimes you just got to be fucking honest.
It's a beautiful day to be alive, man.
A lot is going on, but then again, nothing's going on.
I could lie to you.
There ain't no shit going on.
I'm just getting ready for the fucking summer.
See what we're going to do with the Bert tour.
See if I get on stage one night this week to keep working this.
But today we're going to talk about, I want to talk to you guys about something.
You know, I didn't know where I was going to go with Ozzie's Boneyard.
When I moved here, Ozzie's Boneyard had me do a couple Ozzie's Devil sets or whatever the fuck they called.
I mean, they was great and they still talked to me and stuff like that.
But what happened that serious was they took their money and they gave it to guys like Morello
and guys like, you know, the bass player Duff from Guns N' Roses and, you know, I mean, for me,
I could do sessions on there and they send you a check, a little check, nothing to get rich on, you know, nothing like that.
It's just a check and I love doing it, but it didn't seem like it was going to go anywhere.
Like I said, I'm still friendly with those guys.
They still send me stuff and invite me to stuff.
It's the way things go.
I'm not mad at serious.
I'm not mad at the heavy metal.
I need that shit.
I just, you know, I support.
I love them.
But, you know, you, I've never, since you've been watching the church and all this shit, I've never told you to stop giving up.
You know, we don't give up here on the church.
So I've been scratching my head on the Patreon.
I do like the album of the week and it's, it's, it is what it is.
But Lee sent me an email a few weeks ago about this app called AMP.
And if you guys could do me the biggest favor and download the app, it won't cost you a fucking dime.
It's a little yellow app.
It's a, I think it's their own by Amazon.
And what that does is I could be of my own little fucking DJ at night.
You set up a set list of how many songs you want to play, you know, and you just go live on the fucking computer on the internet.
All you need is a, is the AMP app.
And so please download your AMP app and send it in.
And then in a few days, they'll send you an email.
It's not going to cost you a dime.
I wouldn't ask you to do something if it was going to cost you money.
I'm not one of those fucking clowns.
And let's experiment with this, you know, Mike's into music, you know, I'm into music.
Lee, as he's the guest today, he'll tell you that he wants to do a comedy one because they have comedy on there.
It's a great fucking app.
And if we get it going, like maybe, I don't know, Wednesdays at nine o'clock at night.
That means LA at three, you know, like a late night, LA at six, I'm sorry.
I'd like to do something like that.
So download the app.
What I'm going to do is find a night that I'm home that I could just sit back here with you motherfuckers and just play fucking music.
Not the same music we've been playing.
These guys got everything.
I thought that they would have like a limited amount.
Like this band doesn't want to do it.
But I guess everybody's on Amazon pays for your fucking whatever.
And you do your own fucking radio show.
And that's what we're about, guys.
We create our own things.
I mean, now these apps are making it that you don't, you need less and less.
You have no excuses or you need to fucking computer.
Your computer has a mic on it, right?
The fucking pads that I have have the mic on them, just like your fucking phone.
You're talking to the mic and listen, man, I tape my fucking Patreon messages on my phone.
We tape with the fucking with the fucking phone.
I mean, you know, there's so many things you could do with the phone.
Listen, it's not going to be studio fucking quality.
But then again, when there's any, you know, you know what I'm saying?
That's what you signed up for because it's pirate fucking radio.
Yes or no.
So let's download the amp app.
Do Uncle Joey a big favor.
Download the app, please.
Not going to cost you nothing.
You know, hit me on Twitter on Patreon.
Let me know you got it and fucking I'll start doing.
I'll put together a little radio show at night for us, you know, just an Uncle Joey playlist.
I don't give a fuck.
I'll do a spotlight spotify play.
I'll do whatever fuck you guys want to talk about.
You know, there I'll take suggestions and shit.
We'll do some different things.
I don't think I could take calls and stuff like that.
I don't think I'd go around playing any trunk, but it would be a good fucking time.
So do me a favor.
Download the amp app now.
Do Uncle Joey a favor.
Leah a favor.
Mic a favor.
We're going to get on this fucking thing.
And that's it.
No more cans with a string in between.
We've come a long fucking way.
I'm feeling good.
I'm going to do go do some comedy Thursday night this week to work out Friday.
I got a softball tournament Saturday.
I got a softball tournament.
I think if you win, she plays Sunday.
It's a fucking all weekend type thing.
But hey, that's what it that's what I signed up for.
Besides that, man, I got Leon today.
We, uh, I got to get Leon once a month just to break it down for you motherfuckers to see today.
We talk about stand up, you know, the fun of stand up and just me and Lee.
I love you motherfuckers.
Enjoy the podcast and I'll see you guys next week.
There's no outro.
I'm just going to outro it right from the zoom video.
Why fuck around with you cocksuckers?
I love you stay black and don't forget DNA comes out on June 18th at the ice cream shop.
I just gave Mike a chunk of it to try told me stuck it in the Thanksgiving turkey.
It's scary to look at it's brown and gray and it's got orange hairs.
And we got tremendous coming out July 26th at the ice cream shop or products of Ziki.
And let's narrow it down to motherfucking the laughing gas division with Uncle Joey.
We gave a ton of way away last weekend Atlantic City.
Hopefully you fucking like it.
And when we come to Jersey, you'll be buying at the store.
That's all I can tell you right now.
Stay black.
I love you.
Have a great week and enjoy Lisa at the joint zoom today.
Can you see that I'm not wearing pants?
No.
Hell no.
I see that you were in a Nintendo 64 shirt and I want to fucking play GoldenEye.
Did you see that they might be re-releasing that on Xbox?
I did not see that.
That's pretty cool.
There's like some kind of like leaderboards or like things like in the Xbox thing that
have like chat, you know, like when people like get achievements and shit.
Oh, you know what?
It showed up on there.
It showed up on there.
Xbox since the first one.
Yeah.
Really?
I was always too, I was never good enough at video games to play online.
I don't think I've literally ever.
No, that's not true.
Me either.
I played Fortnite online a little bit.
That's my brother's game right now, dude.
He won't get off it.
It's still going on.
Wow.
I thought by now people will be done with it.
They're getting like Star Wars in it and shit.
Oh, that's cool.
Love you, brother.
Here you go.
Love you too.
Here's the X-Men in Nintendo 64.
I love it.
90s kids.
What happened?
So we're 90s kids.
We're wearing nerdy shirts.
Nerd shirts.
Oh shit.
Party up and down.
He's getting something ready here.
I don't know what's going on.
I'm assuming it has something to do with Jesus and the Bible.
What's happening, brother?
Hey, buddy.
It's a beautiful fucking Wednesday.
The Joe S show.
Who gives a fuck?
What's up, Tarzan?
We'll get more and more like the dude from fucking...
What's that dude's name?
The guy from My Name is Earl that lost all the weight with the beard and shit.
Yeah.
He's starting to look like him.
He needs two big fucking muscles over here and it's all over but the shot.
Even simply, I look more like him before he lost the weight than now, but he's so ripped.
I don't know how he does it.
He just went all balls and started lifting weights and throwing houses around.
And he just got fucking ripped after a while.
I don't know how people do it anymore.
What's happening, brother?
I'm doing great, man.
I'm just happy.
It's been a good couple weeks.
I feel like I was just out to see you.
That was a blast.
I don't know what's good.
Life is happening.
What's happening with you?
We just finished up that fucking Atlantic City.
Yeah.
And you know, Lee, it was fun.
It wasn't me on stage.
Like it was just rough getting into myself.
I just got off the phone with Ari and I was telling Ari that I figured out what's wrong.
You know, when you haven't been having fun, like I like going out.
For me to just get in the car and go do comedy for 10 minutes gets my dick hard for right now.
Yeah.
That's what gets my dick hard for right now.
But at the same time, when I go to these places, like I try to go to these, but I don't even want to announce it no more.
You know, I try to go to like New Brunswick, the stress factory, or I go to my man Dino's or Vinnie Brands, great to over at New Brunswick.
Great club, great food around there, fucking Vinnie.
Dino's is great.
Vinnie's Uncle Vinnie's comedy club.
They got like a lobster shack next door to it.
Oh, they got a Chinese joint next to it.
The whole block is, you know, Point Pleasant's got great food.
Plus, you got to fucking Le Voli's down there.
I think, I think he got Le Voli's down there.
But anyway, so, you know, these clubs are not the comedy store and that's okay.
I don't care.
So when you go to them, it's like, you know, during the week, it's not like, you know, you're getting a massage in the back.
Sam's giving you a massage in the back and fucking, they're giving out free weed.
It's, it's a regular show.
Like I started that at Westminster at, which said, the comedy club.
Right.
Three guys, everybody goes home.
Nobody hangs at the bar.
You know, it's just a comedy club.
You know, so I've been just trying to go down there and get on stage.
But the problem is that I want to have fun now.
Now it's time to have fun.
Open mic in for me.
Right now I want to go through the whole open mic process.
I went from 93 to 95, which is just show up, right.
Show up, right.
Show up.
I can't do it every night.
Like tonight I got a softball game tomorrow night.
I got something else.
What Friday she's got a softball game Saturday.
She's got a softball game.
You know, I'll try to get out Thursday night this week, but I haven't been having fun yet.
It's hard.
It's a big part of it.
I went through a very small version of that, but I had such good friends that I did open
mics with in LA that when I came back to or I came to Boston, it was just a very different
experience.
It was an hour away.
I didn't know anybody.
It was instead of, it was four hours of waiting.
And it just, the last open mic I did here, I hosted for four hours.
And not a single person got a laugh the entire four hours.
And I, including myself, I'm including myself.
And I had to go up and down steps every three minutes.
And my legs hurt at the end of the night.
And I just, I was sitting there.
I was like, what am I doing?
And the sad part is I do miss it, but it's just, I didn't, I'm a very antisocial.
And not even antisocial.
I'm just shy.
I don't like talking.
I'm not good at going to a group of people that I don't really know.
And like, it takes me a few times of seeing you to be like, okay, I can talk with this
person.
And it just, it was hard for me to get into the groove, but I feel similar.
I miss it a lot.
And I didn't do it for as long as you did it or as successfully.
So I can't imagine how you feel.
For young comics, it's very hard to say this, but I'll tell you a story to follow.
And it doesn't concern.
It doesn't involve me.
It was Ari.
When Ari first was starting out, you know, he was doing comedy, I don't know, five,
six years, not making any money, you know, hanging out at the store.
He wasn't really a regular.
He says that one night, Ralphie said to him, I want to be doing comedy and whatever.
And Ari replied to him and Ari said, and he goes, Oh my God, that's the best, best time
of doing comedy.
And Ralphie, you know, Ari goes, what, being broke?
And he goes, you know, it's not that the fun you have at those open.
The reason why you're broke is because you're having fun.
Right.
And you don't really give a fuck.
You're part of a click that Mike's broke.
I'm broke.
You're broke.
Everybody's fucking broke.
Okay.
Like I said, nobody drives to an open Michael Lamborghini.
So everybody broke.
So after a couple of months, we get to realize that we're a fearsome threesome.
Okay.
One for all and one for whatever that fucking.
All for one and one for all.
Yeah.
So now it's like me, Josh Wolf, Gavin and Brody.
You know how much you got?
I got four.
I got 10.
I got 11.
Okay.
We get nachos.
We could do this or we could hold off and just get a thing of nachos and split them
three ways.
And then we go to McCormick and Schmitz for the happy hour at 10.
I don't know if I can make McCormick and Schmitz.
I need a hamburger right now, but the hamburger later is going to be two bucks.
Right.
Ten, you know.
But now let's live, let's get away from that.
You look at that and you're like, Joey, what's so fun about that?
When you look back at that, you go, oh my God, what would you rather do?
Do us three just discussed we're doing a split of cheeseburger and nachos or we got to get
on a fucking conference call because they want me, Lee and fucking Mike want to work
together and Mike's agent won't allow it because, you know, Mike wants to do it.
He's already told his agent he wants to do it, but we have to have a conference call
because Mike feels that fucking since he just came out in the movie, he should get 40%
and me and Lee should get 30% of the commit.
And we, that's not fun.
That is not fucking fun.
When you're aging quality and says, what do you want to charge $35 or $55.
If you charge 50 and you're like, I just want to have fun.
Well, that's, that's, give me a number that that could pay my rent, cocaine, the hookup.
You know, that's what you want.
Just give me the budget.
What's it cost to be with a hookup for two days and stab her at the end?
What's the pimp want and clean up the room, dispose the body?
I want to do coke.
It's going to cost you eight thousand.
Just give me eight thousand.
You know what I'm saying?
Like I just know what I need.
I don't want nothing above.
I don't need to drive a nice car.
I could have lived that way forever Lee because you're doing what the fuck you want.
Right.
So you're taking $20 less, but you don't got to deal with anybody.
Right.
I mean, I gotta put on a shirt and a dress.
You don't got to fucking go to a sales meeting.
So this is, these are the things that are fun.
Sometimes being broke is a lot more fun than just having money.
I'll take your word for it.
You know, let me put this way guys.
Okay.
Right now we're doing our thing.
Alison change is playing with fucking.
I'll give you an example and the people at home understand this.
Michael understand this a little bit better than you Lee.
Alison change is playing with Bush.
October 7th at the fucking at the PNC.
Okay.
If we have money, we just call each other.
Mike, what do you want to do?
There's tickets on third row.
Bro, for the extra 25, it's 180.
Who gives a fuck?
Just buy the ticket Joey.
All right.
We buy the tickets 180 a piece, three fucking tickets to go see two bands.
180 is way overpriced, but that's what the deal is today.
And then I call, we're not going to drive.
We're getting fucked up.
We're taking adibles.
I got to get a limo.
We're not going to take an Uber X.
Go fuck yourself.
We're taking an Uber Pimp Jack.
So, you know, and before that, we're going to have a nice dinner.
We're going to have a nice $300 dinner, a couple of steaks.
We're going to go in there and guess what guys?
At the end of the night, we're just going to walk into the concert.
Whatever's going to be great on the guitar.
Alison change is going to be great Bush and we go home.
Let me rewrite that story for you.
Right now, Mike calls me Doug Bush is playing tonight.
Did you know?
No, I didn't.
Do you want to go?
How much of the tickets Mike?
Okay.
I got like 22.
Let me see if I can borrow 20.
Call Lee.
Tell Lee about Alison change.
See if Joey could borrow 20.
Yeah, he'll give you the 20.
What is that 20 going to do for?
We're going to get three joints.
You know, we're going to go down to that dinner that we talked about at the restaurant.
Forget it.
He had a peanut butter and jelly from his kid.
I took fucking Mercy Sandwich and you, I don't know, you took your mother's bingo sandwich.
We fucking eat and then we go to this continent.
We're getting this content.
We're up in the back and all of a sudden Mike sees his friend from the open mic and he waves us over.
And we're down in third row and all of a sudden joints are passing around.
There's a chick who keeps smoking pot and drinking.
And the more and more she falls asleep and by the third song, she's fucking passed out in the thing.
And every 20 minutes you check and I go, that bitch is dead.
And you keep down in a hole and all of a sudden somebody gives you a hit of acid.
He knows what I'm talking about.
The chick that's happened at the beginning.
I love it.
And she's bouncing the ball and shit.
And once the concert starts, that bitch is done.
She's passed out.
Everybody's watching us.
Some guys are looking at finger, but some dudes are saying, what should we do with this chick?
She's just passed out.
Fuck it.
That's what you get for drinking a two in the afternoon.
And then we laugh at that.
Then fucking Mike's friend says, come with us and we walk down Philadelphia street.
We go get a hot dog.
We didn't have any money.
But the guy Mike's friend said, give Joey and then all of a sudden we went to a concert.
For $18 a piece.
We ate three hot dogs.
We did acid.
We did all these things on the last minute.
Right.
That's how comedy is sometimes.
Yep.
And even even with that concert, because I just went through this, you let's say you put all that money into it.
There's a lot more at stake.
You're expecting a lot more from the concert.
You could have both of you could have been down in front of one in the bleachers, but because you only spent 20 bucks.
You don't care that they didn't play this song or that the sound wasn't great.
When you're spending a grand a night to go to see this, you're like, this better be fucking good.
It's there's a lot more at stake.
And that's why even with me, you're saying with the comedy, oh, I just need what I like to live.
I was paying to do open mics.
I was happy when I did a set that I got 20 bucks and a drink to like that was a good night for me.
But that's got to stop.
I mean, I was only two years in.
I was early.
That works in LA and New York.
Listen, I don't mind bringing 10 people, you know, when Mike plays his guitar and he does his open mic, he's got to bring four people.
So we all go support him.
He comes to us.
He brings his brother, whatever.
That I don't mind.
I never got pissed off at that.
I got pissed off at taking money from comics.
That's something that has always bothered me.
You know, any artist, musician, painter, you know, whatever, comic.
I don't like when they get abused those first five years because it leaves a taste in your mouth.
I hope you don't get abused because people are scumbags.
They do try to take advantage.
You come do this gig and also they put $5 in your hand with two drink tickets.
And you're like, fuck, I drove an hour and a half.
But that's you got to pay your dues in the beginning, you know, but that's right.
I didn't want comics to pay five bucks to get on stage.
You know why?
I never did.
Right.
I don't even know if anybody charged them.
I'm trying to think it was because I was cheap at the time or whatever.
But I don't even remember having to bring people in New York.
Like when I came to New York in 93, I had to bring people to comics.
There are people that stand up in New York and all that shit.
And then you go to Colorado and there's no such.
Just come to the book or say, just come.
It's a bar show.
You know, I don't expect nothing.
You know what I'm saying?
So I don't know.
I don't like that.
I didn't like that in LA, but in LA, I didn't like, I didn't like open mic.
I was very against it because it made you it put more pressure on you.
It took the fun away.
It took the fun away because there's always that one kid that comes in.
Yeah, I think I'm going to sign with Gersh.
This ain't a Gersh party.
This ain't a Gersh type.
And now in Seattle when I was an open mic, nobody talked.
Right.
An agent.
You just had a club and a basement on a Monday and Tuesday.
What are you fucking talking about?
CBS?
What are you talking about?
Right.
And I get that.
I just got very lucky with a few people in LA.
I definitely saw a lot of that and a lot of people would come in that had
delusions of grandeur, which I'm sure is everywhere now.
But, but I, um, it's, it's just different.
It's you're following a dream, even though it's not going to happen for 99.5%
of the people doing it.
And it's just, I like this is, this is a working this job, which I actually
really like for the past six months has shown me, I have a, I have a lot
more respect for a lot of my friends that were doing the open mics.
Cause a lot of my days were free.
There were days that we had to do stuff, but I a lot, I had a lot of
more time than they did.
And to see the difference between a job and then following a dream, there's a
big difference.
There's a big difference.
And it's, um, and, and stand up is fun.
Like that's, I love, I, I, I watch stand up almost every day.
I love going to shows.
I have more fun doing stand up than I had when I do watching stand up, making
those people laugh like that at my level.
Was some of the most fun I've ever had.
It's just excited.
Just me, especially me, you know, me, I'm a shy.
I don't like being the center of attention, but something about being on
stage when it's working, it, it's just, it might even be better than sex
at some points.
I think even when it's not working.
It's just fucking being.
Listen to me.
Even when it's not working, just fucking being, listen, it's an uncomfortable
feeling.
It's an uncomfortable feeling.
It's, but God, what else makes you that fucking uncomfortable coming in two
minutes?
Yeah.
High chicken going, I'm going to fuck your brains out and then taking her
upstairs and giving her a 30 second squeeze.
And what happened?
I don't know.
You know, this, there's so many fucking things that like I for me, you know, I
was a drug addict at the time.
My dick got hard when I opened up a fucking box and I saw a kilo of Coke
or a bundle of 20s, you know, that was what got me hot before stand up with
stealing and doing all that stupidity.
I tell you, walking on that, I, there's a lot of things in my life.
I don't remember.
Like I remember, but you can't really, I remember the day, but I don't remember
the feeling.
I can't remember the feeling I had when I saw them throw dirt on my mother's
casket for the first time and you turn around.
It's a horrible feeling.
I remember the feeling of getting off that stage that night.
I will never forget that feeling.
You know, why?
Because I will never get a drug that strong to make me feel that way.
There isn't a drug in the earth to describe to you how a person feels when
they got on stage for the first time and they just, but listen, the feeling of
a euphoria that you get anytime you don't think you're going to do something
and you do it.
The time you looked at that girl and says, I'll never get a girl.
And all of a sudden you're with him.
You're sucking the titties and you're coming on the stomach and you're like,
I got to go back to my house and think about what just happened.
You know, all these things when Mike first got in the band and he played a
song up on stage and they're walking off.
What's the feeling like?
You can't, a blow job ain't coming close to that feeling.
Yeah.
Nothing comes close to the high from making people feel good.
And then it goes back to making somebody's day every day.
Yeah.
Stand up is branched off that you have to want to make somebody's day every day.
You're not going to fucking kill that audience.
When you do a show, whether it's a thousand people or 40 people, there's one
person in that audience you're going to really get to.
And as you expand the numbers, it's more when guns and roses does a 20,000 seat arena.
They're entertaining 20,000 people, but they're getting to a percentage of that.
Yeah.
They're team people who got that euphoric.
They haven't seen them before.
They, whatever the, they never been to a live concert before, you know, anything
live will always rock your fucking world.
Baseball games, I'll play.
Yeah.
You know, anything live.
And I, I still don't really understand what, like what, what we did with the church.
I really don't.
I, I do, but I don't really get it.
But I was driving the other day and I wasn't having a good day.
I was listening to a podcast and for a second I was laughing and I didn't expect
to laugh.
And I was just, it took me away from having a, a, a, I wasn't a shit.
But, you know, I was, I wasn't in the right space.
Mine.
And I was driving.
I was like, fuck.
I finally understood some of those emails or things when people say, Oh, I've been listening
to you for 10 years.
I appreciate it, but it doesn't really make sense to me.
But with the same, I think it's the same thing with podcasting is that for some, some, for
even like a second, people will forget.
Oh shit.
I, I'm late on the rent or my boss is a dick or whatever.
I think, I think all this stuff is great for that.
It does.
It does.
It's a like someone.
I was, I was, I was taking, I took a walk yesterday and one of the guys was saying his
favorite part of the church where, where was the, was the openings with the music and you
you screaming and throwing shit at me and dancing.
Like one of the best openings was to Turo and the actor.
Rappaport.
Rappaport.
You got all, all four of us just dancing opening.
That was those openings, man.
We're just fine.
Even for those 30 seconds was more fun than I've had in two years.
Like those, those, it was just fun.
You know, man, uh, those are some fucking again, nobody knew.
Listen, I knew what I was doing when I was doing stand up.
I want people to understand this.
I knew what I was doing from the minute I got on stage.
I knew what I was doing.
Then you get more hip to it.
And then you learn the process and, but you know what you're doing.
At least you know where you're going.
You know, when you join a band, we're going to play fucking Pearl Jam songs.
I know where I'm fucking going.
There's been a thousand million bands before me.
There's been a thousand comics before me with podcasting.
I did not know where we were going.
You understand me?
So it didn't matter to me whether I wanted to throw spaghetti on the wall or to light
your nutsack on fire.
Then remember the podcast game has changed dramatically in 10 years now.
You get flagged with Jesus Christ.
Who fought it?
That cat just blew a tremolo.
It wasn't me.
Can't blame me.
So now it's a different game with the podcast.
Now people have a beginning, a middle, an ending.
You can't put music in them.
You can't.
And you're sitting here going, okay, you know, you can't, if you take an album
and put it on in the background and fucking show that you get flagged by copyright.
If you say the wrong thing, you come up in your fucking videos, no one to 18 can watch.
It's a different fucking world today.
So, you know, again, but we could still push the envelope from time to time.
You could still push it.
I mean, you know, who gives, listen, I just found the clip a couple of days ago.
Somebody made like a little clip and I was saying some wild shit.
I was saying some wild shit.
I'm like, wow, that hasn't gotten flagged and that hasn't gotten me canceled yet or anything.
That's an old, you know, but nobody knew what we were doing.
Yeah.
And who gave a fuck?
We made and broke the rules while we were doing it.
Yeah.
And we set the bar where we wanted to, you know, people doing mushrooms, going to do a set,
people passing out, people changing lives, you know, my neighbor, this nice lady,
she sells real estate in town.
Her and her husband are a real estate team.
They're sweethearts.
They don't curse.
They got two kids and one of their daughter plays with my daughter.
So, we saw them there and I, and she kept talking to her husband about something.
She goes, you know what?
My brother used to work for somebody in the entities like a producer.
And she goes, when I told him I was going to go see you, he said that you were the dude
that fucking killed Owen Benjamin.
What does that mean?
And I had to tell this nice fucking lady about an edible.
And when I called him, he had to be up by the fucking Cheesecake Factory up on Sepovita.
That's where he was that night for people who want to know.
And Leo, he made it all the way there.
Doug, he was at my house and he made it to fucking Sepovita and Ventura.
That's a fucking hike walking that edible.
That edible gave you energy.
Fuck Red Bull.
Cause that motherfucker walked to Sepovita that night when I called him that night.
And he answered the phone.
This is now I can look back at that story and tell you exactly what happened.
You ever smoke a joint, go for a walk guys.
Two joints and get really high and go for a walk.
It's a beautiful fucking thing.
The first 10 minutes are a little uncomfortable and then you become a slave to your mind.
And you just walk and think of all these things and reefer and fucking.
And you're getting all, and all of a sudden you bump into the hot dog man.
It's like, listen, before people started getting stabbed and you had to wear a mask and shit in New York.
You want to fucking, you could either go to a psychiatrist or you could smoke a joint in the village and start walking.
I used to smoke a joint on 178th Street and start walking.
Start walking.
I would put on and really gay.
I'm telling you the time period this was.
Rat invasion of your privacy 1985.
I would get off port authority smoke.
You know, I was going through hell at that time.
I was still fucking mourning my mother.
I was doing a thousand fucking things.
And I would just fucking smoke the best weed.
Biden Harlem and walk from 178.
Sometimes that make it to 125.
Jesus, you know, on the 25th Street just to go to Harlem and take the express train, the A train down.
Because after that, you got to take this train, whatever you stop.
Just dumb things like that.
You could just walk and break down your life.
What's your next move?
What's your next?
You know, that's a that's a form of meditation that worked for me for years.
Just go for a walk with your phones on.
That's it.
And you'll whatever problem you got when you begin that walk, when you get back from that walk, that problem will be solved.
You're like a fucking detective.
You're cracking shit.
That's it.
That's why I like driving.
Now, I can't I can't drive that high, but that's why I like those cross country drives, because that's what I do.
I'm just not high, but it's.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Oh, no, it's just it's there's something about doing anything where you literally can't be focused on something else.
Like even now you could do that now in New York.
I don't know about smoking.
You can take an edible, but you can't look at your phone because you'll walk into something.
Listen, if I give you a 200 milligram CBO ABX.
I dare you to walk in the city.
You'll get stabbly because you walk around like a fucking dunce.
Anybody I give that shit to, I would not recommend them to go into the city.
Well, you don't have to give them 200 milligrams.
You can give them 50.
I've done lots to use.
You know what I'm saying?
You can't walk the city streets of New York with 10 milligrams.
My apologies.
Don't you think a little too walkish?
I'm so sorry.
The other day I was last week, you know, I'm home.
I'm home.
It's raining.
Mercy's got COVID.
We're stuck.
And last week, my week got turned around on Thursday night.
I ran upstairs, got in the shower.
I was going to go meet Illinois in Atlantic City, but the sky was black and it's 130 miles to Atlanta.
No, it's an hour and a half to Atlantic City.
I didn't want to drive one and a half, one and a half back.
And then Friday morning I have to get back up and drive another one and a half.
So I said, fuck it.
I'm going to save my back.
I'm going to go down to Uncle Vinny's.
That drive that night was like a fucking, it's like a session.
It was like a therapy session because I was a little high.
I stopped and I bought a vapor pen.
It fucking broke already.
Two vapor pens.
They both fucking broke and I take the charger out.
The guts come out with it.
What the fuck?
Jesus.
So I took my little vapor pen.
I got super high on some rainbow ruts and I took my vapor pen and I went, I drove to fucking Santa Monica.
Oh, Santa Monica.
Point plus the next thing I know, you know, they're just playing great fucking music from one song to another.
You know, I got it from the seventies on seven, seven on seventies to nineties to fucking lithium to Ozzie's Boneyard to Studio 54.
I didn't just kept fucking, they were throwing heat.
It got to the point where I got the point pleasant.
I didn't want to get out of the car.
That's how good the music was.
I mean everything.
They were playing Alice in Chains.
They were playing fucking Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath.
I listened to Jimmy on fucking Sirius and Ozzie's Boneyard.
That was enough for me.
That ride was what I needed.
And I've always told my wife, I was built on the ride.
When all those stories I tell, those were on good nights when we went out in Florida Coke.
But there was a lot of bad nights too.
What are you doing those nights?
Me, Mike comes to pick me up.
I got rolling papers.
We pick you up.
Mike puts $2 in.
I put $5 in and you put $3 in.
We buy a $10 bag.
We roll a joint and then we split a half a joint and we go home.
So you smoke a joint.
We stop at the ice cream man or a bodega, get a fucking Carvel ice cream or a cup ice cream.
We get in the car, we talk.
So Mike in those days would pick me up at 8.15.
I'd be back in my house by 9.15, 9 o'clock.
That was enough for me.
That little ride, smoking a joint and going to Carvel and coming home.
I'm good.
I'm good.
It's a breath of fresh air.
We would do that in LA.
Sometimes you'd show up at my house.
I'd sit in your car and we wouldn't even go anywhere.
We'd talk for a minute.
You'd usually get some food for me too and I'd go upstairs and leave.
What else is there to say?
There's no where to go.
There's no where to go.
You were saying something before that I want to talk about before you get out of here.
I know you got to go back to work or whatever the fuck you're going.
What are we going to do with this amp fucking?
That's cool with this amp fucking app.
It's a it's a cool app.
It seems new.
It seems like they're starting it out, but it's very it's just I was talking about you at the about the openings of the church.
There's something that you have with music that is special and it's it's just the amp seems like the new evolution sort of like what podcasting did for radio.
But now they allow you to play music so and you can you can take calls.
I think you can I think you can talk on it too.
I played around with it a little bit, but when I saw I saw an article about it and it just seemed perfect for you.
I like it.
I've I set up a show already one night and I got so high I forgot to do it.
I set a show up like three weeks ago on a Monday, but I didn't do it right because everybody needs to get the amp app, right?
Right. Yeah.
Yeah, you have to have the amp app.
I haven't opened it in a little bit, but the last time I opened it, like you have to like follow Joey and or whoever and then you'll get a notification.
But yeah, it's all within the amp app.
You have access to a lot of different music.
I was thinking I was looking at it.
They have comedy.
I was thinking about doing a show for comedy because you can play tracks on there.
It's just it's just another like and the best thing for you is you can do it from right there.
You could do it from in bed because I don't think there's any video.
I'm almost positive.
There's not is you'll just be there.
You'll have your little playlist.
You can I think you can speak like do like do in between songs.
Yeah.
And it's you just get to show people the song and like exactly what you were doing on that drive to Point Pleasant.
You could do for people and switch between songs and and you don't have to do commercials.
You don't have to worry about about, you know, the boss said I can't play this one anymore because I play this one ever.
You could play the same song on a loop if you wanted to.
You could do whatever you wanted.
Now, the amp app doesn't cost you anything.
I don't believe so.
No, when I did it, it didn't.
When I did it, you had to sign up and they would email you a login code.
I think you might have a special link now.
If I'm not mistaken, if not, I'm sure we can get you one that will maybe let you bypass it.
But yeah, it's called amp.
It's like a yellow.
Let me pull it up.
It's like a yellowish logo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It looks like this.
It's a little a yellow and an a it's cool, man.
It's like I said, I think it's at the very beginning, but it seems like it has a lot of cool.
Options.
Look, they got everything on there.
Yeah.
Like I was really in shock.
They had Nirvana.
They got Alison Chains.
They got Black Sabbath.
They got Leonard Skinner.
They had.
I just looked up like random people like the gambler.
The guy that sang the song, the gambler, Kenny Rogers, they got him on there.
They got Dolly Parton on there.
They got Run DMC on there.
They got Biggie.
I mean, they have, you know, I sat on there for like 45 minutes one night just trying
to trump them to see, because you know how Led Zeppelin go on iTunes for a long time.
You know, there's a lot of bands that won't.
I figured, you know, they wanted to sign up for this.
Right.
Yeah.
I think this might be somehow linked to, I think Amazon might own it or something.
I'm not exactly.
I'm not exactly sure who owns it.
But yeah, they have, it's not just a couple of, you know, no name artists that you've
never heard of.
It's, it's people.
I did not even think to check the comedy genre.
I did not even think to check the comedy.
They have, they have stuff.
They, they have a lot of stuff.
It's just, it's cool.
It feels like, it feels like the beginning of podcasting.
It's just, it's, it's new.
It's like, it's like a movie run stick him.
And like the app was, it was like brand new.
People were figuring out how to use it.
What's that?
It was the one we did the first like hundred episodes of the chat.
That's why there's no video of the church.
Cause one day stick him was like, bye.
They just weren't there anymore.
And then we switched to you stream.
So it's a, it was just, it's, it, it just is cool.
It's, it's allowing people a different way to connect.
And, and you, I mean, you know,
more than anyone how people feel about music.
And, and I mean, I've been on,
I've been with you on that ride a thousand times where you're
switching between the stations and you love something.
You turn it up.
It's, um, I mean,
people ask for your playlist all the time.
You, you have a great playlist.
And, and you, and the,
and the thing with you is you get excited about it.
You're not just sitting there like,
with your hand on your chest, like listening, you get excited.
You start,
you start taking the, the nicotine gum and you two for two bit
and you throw out the window.
Like it,
I would love to figure out a way for it to be able to like set it
up in your car.
And you can do it.
Like gas is eight bucks a gallon.
So maybe not,
but when gas goes down,
we'll figure out a way for you to drive around and do it from the
car.
Cause that would be badass.
What do you got planned?
When are you coming down?
Whenever you,
I was thinking about,
I want to come down maybe in July or even,
even this month,
whenever you,
I love coming down.
I want,
I don't want to get a place in your friends, by the way,
or some cool fucking people when I came down.
The neighborhood people.
Oh, they still talk about you.
Oh,
they do.
We went to Steve's house.
We were high.
Oh,
they both could tell it.
Like, boy,
he was high and then you asked for the bagel and shit.
Tell them about,
tell these motherfuckers what those Staten Island bagels look like.
Oh,
well,
first of all,
we,
we,
I was on,
I don't know,
200 ish milligrams.
And I think you just didn't want me to drive home.
Cause we were sitting in your,
in your basement and watching TV for a little bit.
Like we're going to someone's house.
Like, all right,
I don't know where I'm going.
We get there,
beautiful house.
There's so many people there.
There's food,
which I fucking,
I devoured a slice of pizza,
but then they had these brown.
I think it was,
I think their daughter was going to order their,
um,
children were going through a communion.
So they had,
they bought the bagel store.
It looked like they,
and it didn't come in a plastic bag.
They had like a,
like a two grocery store bags full of bagels.
They gave you,
I don't know if you asked for one or they offered you one,
but I was so shy and,
and,
um,
high that I got too nervous to ask for one,
but I was,
I must have just been staring at your bagel just like salivating.
Cause like,
would you want one?
And I think I ate that bagel in three bites.
It was,
oh,
a nice toasted bagel with cream.
I don't even remember if it was toasted with cream cheese.
That was,
that was amazing.
You know what I can't stop thinking about the shrimp Parmesan
that we had at your daughter's party.
Just the shrimp with the cheese on it,
the way it was bread.
I never,
I love dog.
We didn't know all of that.
Oh,
they ought to stop thinking about it.
And they were,
they gave us the right wrong fucking thing.
They were like fucking bait, like baseballs.
And I,
the fried shrimp is probably one of my favorite things in the world.
And I,
oh,
that was the one thing I was like,
there's too many nice people here.
We should have taken edibles for this.
Cause I would have eaten.
You would have had any leftovers if I,
if I had had,
oh my God,
everything was good.
And then my mom,
we got push.
Thank you.
You got pastrami for my mom on the way back.
The pickles herring,
they don't fuck around dog.
They even make a fucking cheeseburger that you'll sit there and go,
how do Jews make such a fucking good cheeseburger?
They,
they're tremendous over there.
The pickles herring,
you know,
they don't fuck around.
I went in there with,
in fact,
Rich Voss is coming on Thursday to go to the pickle fucking herring.
Oh yeah.
Cause that's,
it's,
and you know,
we were in Jersey,
they got great Jewish food everywhere,
but there's something about the pickles herring brother.
They know how to do it.
Fucking crinkle cut fries.
They got steak fries in that motherfucker.
You know what?
I,
the,
the food around here is okay.
It's not bad.
But for,
you know,
there's nothing that my happy place is great food on a comfortable seat,
watching TV.
That's all I want.
That maybe I'm high a little bit.
I don't really need much in life.
That's what I,
that's why that's my happiness.
And there's something about New Jersey that I would be 800 pounds.
Like it's just everything's good.
Everything is nearby.
You don't have to drive an hour.
Like we went to pick up the food for your,
and we went to eight places and it took us six minutes.
It was,
it's just,
if you like to eat New Jersey is the place to be.
I know that should be,
there's commercials up here for,
I don't know what,
I don't know,
whatever county you're in,
they have commercials up here on the,
on the six o'clock news,
because apparently it's good for businesses.
They should put commercials that say,
if you,
if you're a fat fuck like Lee who wants to move to New Jersey,
cause I don't,
and by the way,
Mike,
the,
the donuts that he brought when Steve and I were there that are filled with some sort of Amish,
it can be Amish cum.
I don't know what it is.
It's so God,
those donuts are the best.
If you haven't tried an Amish donut,
turn off this podcast and go get an Amish donut there.
I got them.
I,
in Sarasota,
I went to an Amish buffet and I had about seven of them cause,
oh,
they got Amish and Sarasota.
They got two,
they have so many Amish people that they have two Amish restaurants.
Dare Dutchman and Yoders.
That's how I,
that I know everything about,
oh,
and they have buffets and it's like $8.
And the woman walk around with the little things on their head and they're very sweet.
And that they never seen anyone like me eat the food cause I might have lost weight,
but I still can eat.
I,
I can't eat no more Lee.
I can.
I'll teach you.
Really?
Oh, you need to,
I don't know.
You've taken so many edibles.
You don't even have munchies anymore.
I don't know what happened.
Every once in a while,
I get tremendous munchies off those ABXs.
I mean,
when you ate,
I ate 1600 milligrams the other day and I hadn't eaten them in like three or four
days, five days.
I don't know.
I ate a bologna sandwich.
Oh, nice.
Mustard and cheese.
Mustard and cheese.
Yep.
I ate two Italian Isis the other night.
I had guys,
I ate so many sunflower seeds that one.
I had splinters in my asshole cause I ate them with the shell on.
I'm still good guys.
Guys,
I'm still good.
I still,
I mean,
I'm hooked on cherries now.
So my wife gets me these great New Jersey cherries.
It comes in a bag.
And before I go to sleep,
I eat a fucking as many cherries as I can.
She's been getting me peaches lately.
I eat the fruit,
but the fucking ABXs the other night destroyed me.
And I ate so much fruit.
In fact,
if you go in my little refrigerator,
there's fruit.
I ate so much fruit.
Yeah.
And I'm like,
I still need something.
So I just saw a bag of those,
what are those seeds that you use for baseball that you,
sunflower seeds.
I spit them out and shit though.
I was so high I was eating the shell.
Oh my God.
When I woke up the next day,
the shelves were on my teeth and they were like gooey.
It felt like a cavity.
It was disgusting.
I had to brush my teeth eight times,
but the worst was when I went to shit
and I opened up the vault and all of a sudden,
the first neck came out was like splinters.
It was like,
and then I tried to wipe my ass.
I'm like,
I,
because I had all those bits breaking in my ass.
Forget it.
Never again.
I'll do that shit.
Those two hundreds are dangerous.
I took it on a day where I hadn't really eaten much
and I got so high and ate so much.
I wasn't sick,
but I,
this has only happened a few times in my life.
I ate so much that there was literally just not enough room.
I got out of my girlfriend's bed,
walked into the bathroom and just puked,
but like didn't make it.
I wasn't sick.
It just, there was nothing left.
I came out and I told her,
and she's like,
I'll go make you a toast.
I'll go get you a ginger ale.
There was a piece of cake of the Entomans loaf cake,
that yellow, whatever that,
and I hadn't,
and I,
and in the five minutes she was gone,
she came back and I was,
I had just puked.
I had just puked and I was finishing those,
those ABX's will turn something on to me.
But I mean,
I couldn't stop.
I just,
I won't stop.
That's why I don't do them every night anymore.
Cause you,
what do you mean?
You just took 1600,
1600 is one of the most people taking a lifetime.
I was before I went to Atlantic city and I haven't,
cause I,
I brought a big bag to AC and I gave some away to some of the
savages,
but I didn't take any.
I couldn't take a chance on eating and going up on stage.
There was no way.
I couldn't even remember the material I had the 10 minutes.
I forgot material Friday night and I smoked the joint,
you know,
with Tommy,
we smoked a rainbow ruts and Saturday I only smoked a half a blunt
that Joe had before I went on stage.
I was not going to be old school.
I wanted to feel everything.
I wanted to make sure this is what I want to do.
So yeah,
that's,
that's what we got up when,
when you're more comfortable and you're back in this way of
things.
That's when I'm,
that's when I'll know it's when you're taking 200 before you go
on stage.
Oh my God.
And I can't,
I'll never forget just all those nights you taking all that
shit.
You're like,
I have nothing to say.
You go up there for an hour and people are falling out of
their chairs with their faith,
grabbing their faces cause their cheeks hurt.
It's,
I need a little,
I do need a little bit more marijuana in my life before I go
on stage.
We'll leave it at that.
I do need a little bit more marijuana before I go on stage.
I just wanted to come,
I didn't want to be the same old, same old Joey.
I just wanted to try something different,
but listen,
you,
you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
So that's it guys.
I'm done.
You can do it.
I got to go just get high and get on stage with three guys.
Yeah.
You know what?
Just call me and I'll tell you all my new ideas and I'll just
piss you off.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
No,
I can't go through that.
I love you.
You're fucked.
Love you too, buddy.
Yeah.
I'll get a weekend for you to come down.
We'll get,
Mike's,
I don't know,
Mike's got a couple of things going on.
Okay.
Mike works on Saturday sometimes.
So I'll make sure.
I can come down.
I work,
I work remotely.
I'll come down on,
I'll drive Thursday night.
I'll be,
I'll be there.
You'll,
you'll give me edibles and I'll be on zoom meetings.
Just not making sense.
Tell them ideas.
How great would that be to just do a zoom at them and look at
somebody for a couple of minutes and just fucking fall over like
boom.
And they're like,
hello,
hello.
So what do you want me to tell the podcast host?
Don't be an edible.
You're fucked.
I love you.
Stay in touch.
We'll talk later.
Of course, buddy.
Have a great day.
Thank you for being on today, my friend.
Anytime you want,
Joey,
the app.
Amp app.
Tell these motherfuckers.
All right.
Download the amp app.
I'll look.
I,
I think I have an email with it from somewhere.
I think you do have a code.
If you don't,
we'll get you one,
but just get the amp app and get ready for the joey DS show.
And what about the Lisa?
And the Lisa at comedy show,
the explosion and shit.
That's right.
Black cocksuckers.
And now for a word from my mother fucking sponsors, Jack, hit it,
Mike.
Love you, buddy.
All right, you bad motherfuckers.
We want to try differently this week.
So we went right from fucking zoom.
Why put on a camera twice anyway?
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and with that tip, top magoo.
I love you.
I want to thank Lee.
I want to thank Mike.
I want to thank all you motherfuckers.
I want to thank DraftKings.
I want to thank Factor.
I also want to thank Liquid IV for having our back.
It's been a great week and we'll see you motherfuckers
next Monday.
Tip, top motherfucking magoo.
Thank you.