Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #174 | JIM FLORENTINE | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: June 22, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY’S JOINT..... It’s Wednesday, June 22nd.... Today we talk with the Great, JIM FLORENTINE! https://youtu.be/Yi4sBmvdPjI This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com This episode is also brought to you by CBD Lion & Stamps.com.…. Get a 4 week trial plus free postage and a digital scale by using promo code JOEY at https://Stamps.com Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY For 20% OFF Your Order! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #Manscaped #CBDLion #JimFlorentine The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint

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Go to Stamps.com right now, click the microphone at the top of the page and enter code Joey and start saving money and doing great for your small or large business, whatever it may be. The joint is also brought to you by CBD Lion. Guys in the world of CBD, the lion is fucking king, whether it's the gummies, the Delta 8 tincture, the Delta 8 gummies, the kinesiology tape, the cream. Listen, CBD Lion's got something for everybody. Just a little bit of CBD tincture before you go work out will make a huge difference in your workouts. But don't take it from me. Go to CBDLion.com, read the third party lab results. When you see something you like, boom, pressing code Joey, your joint and get 20% off your first order at CBD Lion.

Let's get this party started. I got Jimmy Florentine in the house today. Check one, two, welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? It's the what the fuck is 22nd of June. It's a beautiful Wednesday. My guest today is fucking rock knowledge here, Mr. Jimmy Florentine, New Jersey zone. What's going on, Tarzan?

You know, I never knew when I was a kid, reading it back in these albums that it would be useless. I always thought this information was useless, like who was the original bass player on this album? And then later on, I actually needed that knowledge. It paid off. Who would have thought? It's really crazy how I read all the line of notes and all the hotels they stayed at. You know, because Van Halen especially always thanked the Sheridan's. If you look at the back of a Van Halen album, it always says thanks to the Sheridan's.

So whatever. So in your mind, you're like, fuck, when they come to New York, I'm going to stalk the Sheridan's. And that's exactly what happened. They stayed on 52nd and 7th one year. I was a bartender and I heard about all this shit they were doing. So it's kind of weird when you read all those line of notes, like when I don't know what I was talking about the other day with somebody. And I said, oh yeah, Phil Mogg. I don't even know where that name came from.

That's the guy from UFO. Yeah, the singer from UFO. I don't even know where that came from. Now, what benefit by knowing the singer UFO, how does that can apply to daily life? It doesn't. It's not like, you know, knowing the five members of ELO, whatever the fuck it is. But when you're a kid, you think that's special. You read all that stuff and then one day you grow up and now this is what you do.

Yeah, I never thought it would pay off. I mean, you know, look, if you were in the heavy metal when you were younger, there wasn't a lot of girls that were into it. So if you wanted to get laid, they didn't care that Judas Priest just lost their drummer and they got a temporary one for the tour. Nah, they didn't give a fuck. You know, but that's all you wanted to talk about. I remember going to a party. I'm like, Metallica might break up. I'm like blabbering at these girls like, what do you talk?

Get away from me, you weirdo. That's all I could talk about. I didn't care about anything else. You know, so then you had them. So you stayed in your room on Friday and Saturday night and you listened to the record. So you hung out with your guy friends. No girl is going to come over because, you know, screaming for vengeance just came out. You and your friends were all going to listen to it when someone's basement.

They got other things to do. Yeah, girls don't like that shit. Right. So you just know, like, if you're in the metal, you're a loner, you're a weirdo, you're socially awkward, you know, because that's all you did. And then we grew mustaches. I don't know if you guys did this. So we look older. So we're like 16, 17.

We all grew mustaches so we can get served beer. So we go to liquor store and like, all right, we won't even ask for IDs. Got a mustache. So we had these bad mustaches and we're in the heavy metal. So we were not getting laid at all with zero interest from any girl. I still remember putting mascara on my mustache to make it look thicker. That's a good idea. And then if you wanted a pool, the mascara ran like a fucking dodo.

You know, yeah, yeah, dog, you use everything you can. I'm one of those Cubans. Every Cuban is fucking hairy. I'm the only Cuban that it takes a fucking year and a half just to grow a mustache. So I would mascara it up on Friday nights to go out and get beer or whatever. This is the shit you do as a youngster to get over guys. And yeah, girls don't listen. I learned early on like 81, 80.

I learned that you were not going to put on help back for leather and pick up no girl. And that's why I got into the B 52s. When the B 52 album came out, that gave all of us an out. There was a little heavy guitar. So we always had an out that Quelude music when you go down, down with the Quelude. You got down after you got down four or five times with Quelude's the last time you weren't getting back up. You were just down, right? Down.

Like what happened? Nothing. The Queludes got me. So it's so weird how that's. I still remember specifically them and the cars. The cars. Yeah. Chicks loved candy.

Oh, it fucking eat. You know, I love candy. Oh, honestly, but I don't want you guys to think I like candy. Oh, because it picked up chicks. I'm not going to. I like that out. It just came out June of. I just saw it.

It was the anniversary. 79. 7 probably around 79. June of 79. The cars saved my ass. You were not going to pick up a chick. Listen to let it skin it. Even if you put on fucking, you know, the only song you had any hope of getting laid at a party was love hurts by Nazareth.

And if you put love hurts on, it broke my fucking heart. I had to leave anyway. Soon as love hurts, love hurts is our generations. Every rose has its fucking thorn. Both those songs. I want to shoot myself when I fucking hear them. I like the guy from poison, but I've ever seen him. I'm going to beat him with a fucking rose because that song is fucking horrid.

Then just then Bon Jovi came along. I'm sorry with never say goodbye. Yeah, that ballad. Just love all that shit. You know that that was it. That was it. That's the only save you had. But if you put on screaming for the helmet, you were in no danger.

If you put on the one before that, you know, golden and lows, all that shit. Point of no return. Right. Chicks didn't like all that shit. No, they definitely didn't. Yeah. B-52s was big and then one Bon Jovi. See, I grew my hair long.

My friends were in bands. They go, listen, shave that bad mustache off and grow your hair long. You look awful. So then I grew my hair long. I shaved the mustache off. So whatever Bon Jovi did with his hair, I did with my hair. So I'm like, okay, he's got it this way. I'll get it this way.

Then I had to scruff. Kip Wing, I had to scruff. I did that. Then I went and Bon Jovi cut his hair in like 93. I'm like, well, then I got to cut my hair. Time to cut my hair. So then I did it. So it still worked for me once I grew that hair long.

It was unbelievable. I didn't have to listen to the B-52s to pretend I like flock of seagulls anymore. No, I didn't like flock. I saw flock of seagulls. Like the go-go's. The go-go's got a little pussy, but they didn't bust out the fucking 82, 83, right? The go-go's with my lips are sealed. That does me no fucking good.

You know what I'm saying? It's sealed later. I don't know. What a nice team with your name on it. But it's fucking crazy how you had, then I had to go to Disco's. I remember still going to Disco's. And they weren't top on my priority, but that's where the girls were. Yeah.

Well, that's the thing. You had to dance. I went in the new wave for a couple of years. You know, when like the flock of seagulls, Thompson twins, all that stuff hit MTV. I'm like, look, I got to get some pussy. I, before I grew my hair long, I went through it. It was hanging out in like new wave clubs, new wave night, Wednesday night, dancing with girls and trying that, B-52s, all that stuff.

But, you know, I got a little, but then once metal hit MTV and all those hair bands, I was like, that's the look I'm taking. And, you know, I started doing comedy at the time. And that's when like Lee, Bob Levy was already headlining them. Rich Voss, they're already headliners. And I would just do shows. And just because I had like long blonde hair, all these girls would come up and talk to me, especially in Pennsylvania.

It was great because they were like five years behind of what was really going on. So my looks fucking fit right in. So these guys would take me to like, you know, oh my God, the guys, you know, all of a sudden all those pussies around after the show. I'm going to bring this guy in the road. I wasn't ready. I had like three minutes. They're like, just do 10.

I'll try. So they would just bring me just so I'd attract girls. But then sometimes I would get laid and they would, and they were the headliners. You know, Voss and Levy were doing an hour in Killend. I was doing like seven minutes up front. I remember Levy one time he goes to the girl, did you see his set? And you still want to talk to him? It was fun.

It was my college years because I didn't go away to college. So, you know, it's when you get, get a lot shittier systems. So I did it at, you know, late 80s, early 90s. And then I started to get my shit together around 93, 94. I caught my hair. I'm like, God, I got to take this stuff serious. Yesterday or the day before, well, let me tell you this story. Like the father's day, I, I've worked for Jackson and on the way down there,

on Ozzie's boneyard, Invasion of Your Privacy came on, you know, uh, Rat, the main song from it, uh, Lay it down. Lay it down. Yeah. And that was my album in 85. And I'm like, holy fuck. Rat was already on their second album before Bon Jovi's first album. Like, like Rat hit before John Bon Jovi.

Yeah. Cause Bon Jovi hit with runaway. What year was that? That was like 82, but it was 82, 83, but it was a minor hit. It was a minor hit. And then he had the second album, a 7,800 degree Fahrenheit that didn't do that well. She don't know me. And it was one of the songs, but that wasn't big either until New Jersey came out and you give love a bad name.

That was it, you know, and that, that album is what broke. I thought it was Slippery One Wet. I'm sorry, Slippery One Wet. That's it. Yeah. Slippery One Wet. New Jersey's not bad, but it ain't Slippery One Wet. That was it.

The first two were just like, he's like, ah, it was all right. But then that, you know, Slippery One Wet came out and that was it. And then Keith Ross, the other day was talking about a club where Sackwile was the bus boy and Bon Jovi met his wife there. And that's where Richie Sambora, Casanovas. It was probably on Route 35 in Sayerville. There was a bunch of, there was a place called Mingles. No, another one. Club 35.

Then there was Artstock's Playpen that I worked at. It was the, the Birch Hill. I'm not sure which club it was, but it was definitely probably on that strip. This is what Keith Ross was when Richie Sambora came back and said, you got to listen to our fucking album. And he listened to the first three songs and he knew that something was going to happen with Bon Jovi. And he just said that this place was just legendary. Like it was somewhere that was just fucking Bon Jovi met his wife there. She was the bartender.

You know, it's just fucking, Sackwile was a bus boy. Yeah. And Sack, Sack grew up in Jackson and he married his, you know, high school sweetheart. She was from Jackson too. Sack grew up in Jackson. He grew up in Jackson, New Jersey. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. It's not a Starland ballroom, right? That hasn't been around. No, it was called Modern Times back then. There was a bunch of different names, but I don't think that was the place either. Well, you know how my brothers are ballbusters. You know my brothers.

Right. So I was telling you about the Bon Jovi look. So we're down in Long Beach Island at this place on vacation and I got the long hair and we're at this bar on like a Monday night. It's packed and I went to the bar to go get drinks and they, some girl goes, is that Bon Jovi over there? They thought, and then of course my brother's like, yeah, that's him. They're like, that's Bon Jovi.

He's like, yeah, listen, he's here on vacation. Don't really bother him. Just go up and say hi. Don't make a big deal. And they're like, oh, we could say hi. Yeah, go say hi to him. But just be, you know, be nice. Don't cause a commotion.

Next thing I know these girls are coming over, hey, you Bon Jovi. And I'm like, yeah. You know, just thinking they're going to bust me a second. The girl thought I was Bon Jovi. I started talking to her. Then everybody else started talking. I had to leave the club because it was getting so crazy. Like, Bon Jovi's over there.

He's over there. And I went to walk in her car when I'm making out with her. It's like, I can't believe I'm making out with John Bon Jovi. I'm like, yeah, well, you know, how are you going to do? Is that wrong that I did that? No, that's fine. But my brothers did that. They go, that's Bon Jovi over there, of course.

And I just said, yes. And I'm thinking, I did it at the comic shop one time in New York City. I had the long blonde hair, curly blonde hair. And one guy's like, are you just singing from mud zapping? I'm like, yeah, but just keep it quiet. Just keep it quiet. I'm just here to see some comedians. They're like, oh my God.

Oh my God. And this was before cameras. He didn't have his phone to take a picture. I go, listen, yeah, just keep it quiet, man. I love stand-up comedy. I'm in New York. I didn't mean why I had the same jersey. I didn't have a British accent or anything.

That's like the story when I sold the guy a membership to the mob. To what? To the mafia. I even gave him a membership. He kept telling me, I want to be in the mob. How do I do it? Well, that's easy. I'll make a call for you.

You have to fill out an application. That's like $2,000 in initiation. He gave it to me. That's for months. He would say, did you hear anything from them? No. Haven't heard anything. Haven't heard anything.

He called about it. Yeah, you're almost like, it's good if you don't hear anything. Right. That means they like you. You're protected. I mean, this was 1995. He still calls me once a year. And somewhere in the conversation, he'll go, hey, man, I never heard from those guys.

Really? And what are you saying? I don't even know. Just a fact. Yeah, just like that. Just a fact. Right. He hasn't asked me for the two G's back.

Right. So I don't care. Once he asked me for the two G's back, I'm not just hanging up on him. But until then, until then, I'll keep talking to him 1995. It's over. That seven year grace period went out the fucking window. Right. Yeah, yeah.

The statute of limitations is over. Yeah, the statute of limitations is stupidity because that's as dumb as you could be. When he was counting the money out to me, I'm like, no, he's not. No, he's not. This has to stop somewhere. Like, when is he going to go? You thought you had me? Haha.

I'm going to laugh and buy a gram of Coke. No. He gave me the 2000 and then we hung out for like two months. And he was like, man, I can't wait to be in the mafia. I'm like, Jesus Christ. One thing about that I'm really learning about, and I feel kind of embarrassed to buy, I came from Northern New Jersey and we had the soap factory. Yeah.

We had a hole in your pants, whatever, hole in the wall. Hole in the wall. Yeah. The fuck it was. You know, and I used to go see sticky fingers someplace. There was like three rock clubs up north. But the more I talk to you, the more I talk to your brothers and fucking Keith Ross is great on Ozzy Boneyard and he drops his knowledge.

It's like I'm embarrassed. I didn't, where the fuck was I for part of this New Jersey musical history and this fucking Metallica and Old Bridge? You know, like all this shit that you read about Dio's from Jersey, any? No, he's from like, uh, Cortland, New York. Okay, something like that. I heard something about Dio in South Jersey. Jersey just has such a fucking history of music.

Like I had no idea. Even I just got a book about crime in New Jersey and it chronicles like the fifties and sixties. That was huge music. Like all those bands were on labels out of Jersey, the black bands and shit. I had no fucking idea music was so big in New Jersey. Well, because when you were growing up, you stayed in your area. You stayed up in North Bergen of North Jersey.

I was in Central Jersey. We stayed here. So I never really, I don't think I ever went to the Soul Factory to see Twisted Sister or Nato's bands. I didn't go to the hole in the wall. I had a bunch of clubs around here. You know, those cover bands are, you know, would play the same clubs. So I would just stay here.

I would never drive up there. I'd go to the garden to take the train and to see a show. But so I think that's what you stayed in your area. We stayed, you had enough stuff going on there. You didn't have to come back down here. Like somebody was telling me they went to that place where they play music on the water that I went to see a Rod Stewart, 84, my mom was telling you. They only have it open in the summertime.

In the summertime, we offer the metal bands, PNC, the garden, and then Nassau Coliseum. I guess now the Brooklyn, where the Brooklyn, but then there's another place, Jones Beach. Oh, Jones Beach out in Long Island. A buddy of mine went to see Jules two weeks ago, Stu Feiner, and he said that fucking high tide came and that the fucking shoes and sneakers were all flooded. They had to put their feet up. Jules is up there playing the guitar with galoshes on. People get electrocuted and shit.

Like, I love that place. Like I went to so many different venues. Yes, we went to the garden. I'm very proud of that. And I went to the metal bands to see the Jacksons, and I went to Philadelphia to see, but they had these little spots. Like, you know, seeing like Aerosmith at the soap factory or seeing like that group, that kind of thing I told you about when I went to Passaic.

Like, I went to see missing persons. At the Capitol Theater? Yeah. Yeah, that place was legendary. That place was good. You know, I went to see the Scorpions and Rainbow there. Like, when I was really young, I didn't know who to fuck. I just went, you know, I like that.

I like that fucking knucklehead Richie Blackmore. And then he lost his mind. Have you seen him lately? Yeah, I mean, yeah, he's talk. He does not look good. If you go to a fucking Rainbow concert, bring a trick or treat fucking thing like one of those pumpkins. When you see him, you think it's a fucking Halloween thing. It's not good.

Yeah, he does some weird kind of music. I forget, I don't even know what it's called, with his wife. And he got Rainbow back together, but with all like new players that no one knew of. He did like eight shows over in Europe, and now he's back to doing his little thing. He has like a fucking mustache. Yeah. That he fucking tightens up. Yeah, I don't know if he looks like a wizard.

Yes. Yes, he looks like fucking. He grew up perfect to be what the fuck he wanted. I don't know what's going on. I know the place you're talking about, the Fountain Casino. That's what Keith Ross was talking about, because that was a big place in Aberdeen. He talks about that a lot. That place helped.

Twisted Sister would draw 3,000 people on a Monday night there. It was free admission, and they would do like three sets, like three hour sets on a Monday night. It was insane. So I was 15 years old. I was using my brother's ID. He was 21. I was 15. It didn't have a picture on it.

Back then, the jurors didn't have the picture. It was great. One time, I went to this liquor store to go get beer, because I had, you know, and I put the ID on the counter, and the woman's like, you're not Joe Florentine. That's my older brother. I go, yeah, I am. She goes, no, you're not. I go, I am.

She goes, you're not. She goes, I'm Mrs. Murphy. And that was like Joe's best friend's mother. And I'm like, should I put the beer back? I just left on the counter and walked out. I had no idea it was his best friend's mom. But I would get in at 15, you know, because they didn't have a picture. I said, I didn't know.

I might just show it. They didn't bounce it like, wait a minute, you know, they had no clue. So I was seeing shows when I was a little kid. It was great. That's great. And then Jones Beach, you couldn't bring alcohol in there. You could only drink in the back, like this VIP area. You can't bring it back to your seat, because it's some state park.

So we'd have to get, whenever I went to Jones Beach, you get those little plane bottles like Bacardi. Stick them in your underwear. Make sure you wear tidy whiteies that day. Don't ever wear boxers. That's a rookie move. The tidy whiteies, you put them under your balls, stick them, stick like four bottles. And then they just get coaxed the whole day. You got a Diet Coke going to bat them, pour it in.

See, so if you get man scape underwears, the new ones have a pouch. They could fit three fucking bottles. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I got the pouch ones too. The pouch in the underwear, cock sucker. See, man scape is always the head of the fucking game. Sorry about that. No, because even now you're paying like $15 for a mixed drink at a concert.

So bring that stuff in. Don't I pay 20 for a frozen margarita at Philadelphia? Oh yeah, it's Citizens Back. No, I'm not going to play this game. I'm not complaining at all. It was well worth the 20 bucks for the margarita, but wow. Yeah. Wow.

Where has our fucking society gone for a margarita? It was tasty. I got it. It was 95 degrees that day. I didn't get buzzed or anything. It went right through. I even gave my daughter a sip. And I keep asking, are you sure you didn't get drunk?

She's like, no, not that it happened. Yeah. You know, it's just weird how I was telling your brother, Dan, I go, you know, Led Zeppelin played 45 years ago in 1977 at the garden. Yeah. The anniversary was a couple of days ago. And the tickets were 750 to 1250. 750 to 1250.

And I'm looking at Paul McCartney the other day at the Meadowlands, aka MetLife Stadium, and he wanted $1,000 for those fucking tickets for like decent tickets to see Paul McCartney and Bon Jovi sing Happy Birthday. Like I want to hear Happy Birthday again. I don't ever want to hear Happy Birthday at a fucking concert. No. And people singing Happy Birthday for fucking Paul. Yeah.

He's 80 years old. He's 80 years old. No more birthdays. Happy Birthday, Paul. You know, I'm done. You know, Bruce Springsteen showed. Yeah. He played fucking, what's that song?

Get back. No, Glory Days to his own song. No. Okay, he did that. I'm not paying a thousand bucks to hear Glory Days or fucking Get Back or whatever. Hey, Jude, I don't want to hear that shit. I want to hear some fucking, you know, I don't know, some John Lennon music. I don't fucking know.

Do something. A thousand dollars. Yeah. I mean, it was, you know, that's what they're selling. You know, Ticketmaster just did a thing when they're not charging you an extra fee. They're trying to compete with the other, you know, scalpers and all the other online places. So Ticketmaster, if you're going to buy a ticket like two hours before a show, you're

not going to get that $60 convenience fee. And if you're buying four tickets, that's $240 extra. So they waived that, which is great. So they're trying to bring the competition down, you know, like, so these other venues will do it. Stubhub and Vivid Seats is a million of them. It's just crazy where the price of, you know, I think how all the, like I told you brother, I go, you know, I went to see Rod Stewart.

I went to see all these bands because I'm either going to take this $20 and blow it on cocaine or I might as well see Kenny Rogers. Let me just see what he's about. It doesn't matter. Let me see what Nazareth is about. Yeah. Now you can't do that. You know, I was telling you like, I'm not paying.

I saw Sammy Hagar 20 years ago. I kind of liked them. People were spitting at him and Philly. I didn't know what to think, but it's like, I'm not paying 600 bucks for those tickets. I love the art of live concerts. You know, I love all that shit. It's just such a rush, but the $600 paycheck just kills me. I went online the other day to look at raging as the machine tickets.

Wow. Yeah. Wow. Five nights at the garden. It's like single tickets for like 350 bucks all over the place. But yeah. So, you know, it's a matter of that you're going to pay. You bring two.

I saw Billy Joel at the garden, you know, a couple months ago and, you know, two tickets was like $710 for the two with taxes and everything else. I got them late, but I was like, all right, whatever. I mean, I want to see them once, but it was like $710 for the two. That's how to get them on. $710. That's two car payments. Yeah.

It was like 360, 355 a ticket. That's two fucking car payments, you know, and you go, yeah, I like these bands. Like I told you, I'm going to see two bands. I want to see Jelly Roll because he'll leave tickets for me and I could really get into that and I'm going to see Alice in Chains. I finally want to go see Alice in Chains at PNC over here. I like to go to Camden too. I don't know.

Those days of just, I kind of like Fleetwood Mac. Let's go see, I don't know if the chick was on tour or something, but what would stop me is as soon as I went for that ticket, that $400 ticket, how was an 18 year old going to go to a concert? Again, I moved here so my daughter could kind of have the same child that I had growing up, but you can't even, you know, you can't even fathom. These kids are going to have to rob a bank to go see fucking about. They're going to rob a bank between the 14.

How much is the bus to the city now? 30 bucks. He has $30 round trip. 15 each way. And that's not bad because if you drive, you're dropping 40 with the price of gas. And the tolls, 16 at the toll at the Lincoln tunnel, then also the Turnpike tolls. Wow. It's gotten fucking crazy.

Yeah. Well, the ticket price will go down as soon as the demand, you know, when people aren't paying 400 bucks to lower it to 300 to lower it to 200. So all that stuff is going to go down as the economy tightens up. So, you know, they're all of a sudden these bands think they're going to get $450 for a ticket, you know, and then the people reselling them on those secondary markets. All that money is going to go way down soon. Yeah.

We went for the giant game and that game was brilliant and more ways than one. Just going to Phillies against the Giants. And I'll tell you what was the most brilliant part of the day. I didn't feel gouged over the $70 ticket. I didn't feel gouged, you know, the waters were five, you know, again. That's not bad. There's seven. There's $10 waters, you know.

The food was good. It was cheap. Sausage sandwiches. I kind of am I a Philly fan of the team? I don't know anything about them. But the fucking feeling I had and I didn't feel out, you know, if I, I know if I go to a Yankee game, it's going to cost me double that probably. It's going to cost you 50 to 75 just to park close and you want to park close.

It's in a bad neighborhood. So if you want to get real close, it's going to be 75. If you want to get kind of close, it's just 50. Stay sandwiched at $30 at the fucking Yankee Stadium. It's delicious. I heard their fucking five stars. Like, you know, they got you. You're there.

You know, but again, when I was a kid, I just fucking wake up today and go, dog, you know, the Metro playing at 130. Really? Let me call my brother and see if he can drive us and now we'll just go to Perth Amboy. That's where you go. You go to Perth and switch at fucking because my friend went the other day. Go to Perth Amboy, switch it. We're in the city and it takes you right to the fucking Mech Game.

All right. The city field. The city field. But it's like, again, for me, I knew for five hours, I get into a Mech Game or Yankee Game. You could stub your way in on a Tuesday. Who's had a fucking Mech Game on a Thursday? You know, the Mech Games get packed like anything else on the weekends. People want to take their kids and shit.

You go to a Mech Game on a Tuesday, Yankee Game on a Tuesday. He's shit and fucking. We're Nick Game on a Tuesday. That was my favorite. Those Nick tickets were 15 bucks, bro. Try to get a Nick ticket for $15. You got to blow the whole fucking team for 15 fucking dollars. We'll see.

And what we used to do is we always get tickets out front. So you always look for someone at the last minute, someone couldn't come, right? They were coming with five. All of a sudden two people said, we can't come. We have an emergency. So you look for that sucker, that guy that's not a scalper. You know what I mean? Like just walking and you're waiting.

I got tickets. How much? I just want to get rid of them. Can you give me, you know, $50 more each year? No, but you're not going to sell them up there. I go, you might get arrested if you go up there because there's cops all over. You can't be scalping tickets. All right.

Just give me, just give me the face value. Beautiful. So you always look for those guys. So you don't look for the professional guys. And then as, as it goes on, you go to the, you know, the first inning, second inning, they're basically giving them away. If you want to hang that long, the problem is if you have someone with you that's panicking, thinks they're not going to get in, then you got to get them in advance.

Yeah, I'm too old to panic. Like I want to know I'm going like, I did, I did that a hundred times. Like let's just go see what happens. Right. Let's just go see what happens. And all of a sudden you're watching AC DC and Def Leppard. You know, let's just go see it. But that's what you do when you're 15.

Yeah, you don't care. You're like, all right, we'll just go drinking a bar then. Yeah. Like if that, we'll go to, we'll go to beef steak Charlies across from the garden. I don't want to go there and argue with people like that. I remember with the Philly one time and we went with like 12th row. And before we got in, my buddy was talking to him. And all of a sudden he came back with six rows center for black Sabbath with deal.

And I'm like, how the fuck did you do it? You know, like you had, we had tickets. What possessed you to negotiate with somebody for six rows better? But this guy's are the really good at that. I used to break their balls too, but I don't want to be out there arguing with nobody now. I just want to walk and then. Yeah. Enjoy the fucking game and whatnot.

But they kill you at these games. I always think about the American family. I owe like my friends that he paid $1,000 to go from LaGuardia to Oklahoma city. $1,000 to go to Oklahoma. Jesus Christ. No, yeah. I mean, the, the, I was like, it's like nine. I was, I'm booking flights for the fall right now, which I never did.

And they're like, you know, to go to Dallas is like $780 from Newark. But if you fly at six in the morning, it's like five, five, 10. Like that's your options now. They just completely, the airline's trying to make as much money as possible before they have to bring down the prices when people stop flying. They're already down like 3% traveling like in the last month. So people are feeling it. They're not paying frigging, you know, $900 a ticket.

I'm trying to go to Knoxville. I'm going to pay $909 for not even a round trip with a layover. So I just booked at a legionaire. They, they do flights. It's like, it's $79 each way to Knoxville direct flight. 160. Why is United charging $909 and a legion is charged at 160? Because a legion's fucking engine is kind of loose.

Well, yeah, I know. And the landing gear is all fucked up. So it's like you're paying 79. What time am I going to get there? Well, I got, I got, I got both flights booked. So I got one United. I used my miles and then I got the legionaire one. So if the legionaire, because there's only one flight out that day,

they only fly to Knoxville on Tuesdays and Fridays. They don't. So if there's one flight out, so if that flight doesn't go, you're fucked. So I stopped my United flight. I'm like, I will just figure out that day. I'll cancel the other one. And where the fuck is the line? What is the flight?

They fly in a Newark. They got some flights out of Newark. And where do they go? Well, one's going to Knoxville. We're looking at Knoxville. So I'm taking it. Yeah, it's like 70. It's 160 bucks round trip compared to $908.

We united. And I got a connecting flight in Chicago. I got to connect that to Chicago too. I don't know. By the way, for 79 dollars, you might get, you know, you might get the right brothers. I figure I drove with so many drunk drivers over the year and I lived so far. So, you know, I'm thinking I'm going to make it with a legionaire.

At least the guy's going to be sober. You get to the fucking airport. I see the guy spinning the fucking thing in front of me. We'll get this plane in no time. You see him duck taping the wing and shit like major league. You know, this is not going to fucking work. I'm always weary of those things. I'm always weary of flying.

But when I see a cheap flight, I'm like, what the fuck are they doing? Are we even going to get there? Well, yeah, like I, you know, I met rarely. I'd usually just fly United like spirit. I'm like, you know, I can't get on one of those planes. Oh, it just bothers me. I think spirit.

I flew them years ago and they had serious. One of those flights were like a shitty airline, but they had serious XM. Right. And I'll never forget. I got on their stone to the gills and I was listening to like disco something and it was so fucking good. Distorted.

This is like, we're going to land. It was one of those Atlanta flights. Okay. They have a special thing that flies to Atlanta. Not no more. This had to be 20 years ago. But I'm always weary of spirit. But the way that fucking American Delta and all these other airlines have been

Southwest has been killing motherfuckers lately. Killing people. Lays and stuff. These motherfuckers advertise the summer sale. I saw it. Now let me tell you something about Southwest. I enjoyed them. If you're going to fly two hours in less Vegas,

LAX, you know, Kennedy fucking Buffalo, whatever, Newark Buffalo. It's an hour to Southwest. If somebody's allergic to peanuts, you don't get peanuts for an hour. You're not going to fucking die. You know what I'm saying? So it's Southwest put an ad out for $49 and then three days later, they canceled 2000 fucking summer roots. So after they took everybody's fucking money, you know, this shit concerns

the fuck out of me. As you know, I got to take a plane Thursday to South Carolina to meet Burton, those guys. And I swear to God, if I get the fucking Newark and they start that shit of a seven hour delay, I'm not going. I'm not going. I'll get in my car and meet them in Bristol, Tennessee. I might as well do that.

I'm petrified about flying out of Dallas Monday. But after a four night where you lay your fucking soul on the stage, I'm going to get to the fucking airport one day more and they're going to go, your flight's delayed till two in the afternoon. And let me tell you something. I don't like Dallas that much. That's what Kennedy got shot. I'm not a big fucking fan of Dallas.

Nah, they always got a strike with me. As soon as I land in Dallas, I can smell the gunpowder. I still smell the fucking gunpowder by the trees and shit, whatever the fuck. Yeah, the grassy. No, I don't, you know, and Dallas is an airport that if you're not in shape, you're going to die. If you are... Yeah, Chicago, Detroit, Atlanta.

Chicago, Detroit, fuck. Atlanta is a motherfucker. Detroit, they make you walk under the fucking airport with the lights and shit. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Like seven in the morning, you think you're in the fucking twilight zone. I'm going to see Sebastian Cabot from fucking whatever. No, all those airports.

So Dallas, the only good thing about Dallas is you're eating good all day. They got the barbecue. They got the steakhouse in Dallas. You get a little massage. I think you take a shower in Dallas. And they're probably the hottest chicks in the country. In Dallas. Yeah.

In Dallas. Well, Houston too. I like... You know what? As a kid, when you're young, you go like, yeah, there's a lot of hot chicks down there. I got to tell you something, there's a lot of hot chicks everywhere. There's a lot of hot chicks. I went to the Osterilla last Tuesday.

I was blown the fuck away. I'm a married dude. I'm old. I'm not going to head on somebody young. You just scar them when you show them that fucking... I was looking at my dick the other day before I wanted to show. It looks like an art bark now. Really?

It looks like an art bark. The way the head, the turtleneck, the uncircumcised skin rolls in there. I wouldn't show that to anybody. I didn't know you were uncircumcised. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, so it's definitely gonna... So it's almost like it won't come out of a shell. No.

You're like a shy turtle. Yeah. You gotta pull the skin back. I used to hide shit in there. Grams of blow and stuff in the skin. Fucking tremendous. Full cleaner. Full cleaner.

But it's fucking crazy how I went to the Osterilla and I went with George. And I go, George, you gotta start coming down here. Look at all these beautiful women over 40. Where'd we go? I went somewhere last week. I'm like, there's great-looking women everywhere now. There's always gonna be great-looking women. There's gonna be bad-looking women.

But there's great-looking fucking women down here in Jersey. I know. I just remember going to Dallas for the first time, you know, 15, 20 years ago. And then all of a sudden, there was hot women and they were nice to you. You know, in New Jersey, they're not nice to you. You know what I mean? Like, you could barely get a hello. Hi, how are you?

They're just like, I'm married. I'm like, I just said hello. But there, they were nice. You almost take it the wrong way. Like, this chicks into me. That's just the way they are. So I just couldn't believe they were hot and nice. Me too.

Houston was the one place that always shocked me. The South has always shocked me how women will talk to you. You know, when you're young, you're like, fucking, why is she talking to me? Do I have a chance? Then you figure it out. You don't have a chance with everybody. People are just fucking nice sometimes. How many times did you try to hit on a woman, like, and you got the wrong idea

and she wasn't interested, like, you go to kiss her? And she's like, no, no, no. I'm just, you ever get that where she just turns her head and you feel like a piece of shit afterwards? Yeah. You're like, yeah. It's been 30 years, 25 years. Yeah, I know.

My first girlfriend, like, sixth, seventh grade, she broke up me because she said, I had not a kiss. So I said, listen, man, don't say anything to anybody. Let's just say we broke up, whatever. She goes, yeah, I'm not going to say anything. Don't worry about it. The next day, she told the whole school. It's really funny.

You know, and the loudest guy, he doesn't have a kiss. I fucking got, she got pounded by that. She wanted, she didn't, you know how to swap spit? I didn't know then. Well, just a simple. I had no idea. You're seventh grade. I wasn't, I didn't even jerk off yet.

So I had no clue. No, I didn't know. I didn't know how to kiss. I didn't want to swap spit. I didn't want my tongue in some weird girls tongue. And she, and she was like the hottest chick in the town. I couldn't believe it. She was a year older to me.

I'm like, man, it's unbelievable. And she, you know, like after like a month, like I'm done with this guy. I think I said, let's go meet at the swings. You know, that was probably a bad move. I'll meet you by the swings. By the swings, you know. I remember when I was like in the first grade in New York City,

there was a girl Debbie Dominguez. They used to show me a tits for a quarter in the first grade. It's a good deal. She used to get a 45 single. Right. Pull up her shirt and get the single. And put the whole, right. And put the nipple in the first grade.

I still think about this. Like, where is this crazy bitch? She used to show it to me under the monkey bars. And she had like three brothers that were gorillas, the Dominguez brothers. And I was like, why are you showing me a tits? Just give me a quarter. I used to call her every day.

She wanted those little things, the Irish juice and the hot dog quarter fucking 1968. That's great. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it, again, back to listening to like music that's like old. That same song, lay it down. I'm driving with my wife, my door is the back.

I'm looking out the window and I'm just listening to the lyrics. And before they break into a solo, they go like, you know, give me a chance to prove myself in the sack or whatever the fuck the guy says. And I'm thinking about like that's album came out when basically I was 21 years old. And you're fucking rary. You don't know where you land. You don't know how to act. You know, I'll never forget being at a bar in Carbondale, Colorado.

I'm 21 years old. And I'm talking to two guys that I lived with one guy and the other guy's name was big at. He was like a fucking six for five. God, I got his dick sucked every day. Like, yeah, like a two foot deck. He was like a beginning porno guy. Right. He didn't know how to get into porno.

I'm dead serious with you. And I remember I was there with him and he's like, Joey, talk to this girl. She wants to talk to him. We were talking and she's like, I sell like whatever. I have a van myself. I don't know what she sold. And I still remember to this day, like looking at him going, hey, why don't we go to the van? I'll show you what I'm about or something.

And she was like, ill. And she just went away from me. And I'm like, where did that come from? Like, what am I going to do in a vacuum van? Right. Like I was that naive and that fool. Like to this day, I think about that. Like I said something to her in a very wrong sexual, you know, but it was 1983.

Nobody cared. At that time you could grab a woman by the hair and stick your dick in her ear. Nobody said nothing to you. These people were savages in the 80s. There were savages in the 80s. Oh yeah. If Louis C.K. was whacking off in front of you in 2020, think about what we were doing in the fucking 80s. So he didn't know.

I was just a kid and I didn't sexually harass her. Nothing like that. I just, she was like talking to me and she was cute and she was a little older. And I was like, Hey, why don't we just go in the van or something? Why don't we go? And she just looked at me like I was Ted Bundy. She's like, that's not going to happen. And then said something to Big Ed.

Big Ed's like, Hey man, I don't know. She left mad. I don't know what she has a boyfriend or whatever, but it was just, but then you do that. And then maybe five years later, I'm at my house and I want to snort some coke and bold and I go to a party and it's like, you know, the party's ending. I can catch some dealers that are, and there was a girl that I stayed shooting pool and we shot like two rounds of pool. And she goes, do you want to play for money? And I go, no, my money's going to cocaine. And she goes, why don't we just do this?

If I win, you suck my pussy or something. And if you win, you eat my pie. I don't know what the fuck was going on. And I remember that I beat him and that we fooled around and then she got dressed and goes, I got to go home. My husband's waiting on me. The kids got to go to school. I'll never forget that. I don't know what her name was. The mom of the year.

Yes. I don't know what her name was. I don't know. You know, when you think of all those things, you're like, what the fuck happened and how fast did this light move? No, I know. My first girlfriend broke up with me because I used saran wrap instead of a condom on her. That's not good. That's not good.

It was like the third time I ever had sex. I was a virgin with this girl or whatever. It was like my third time. I didn't have a condom. We were fooling around in her parents' house. It was like two in the morning. They were sleeping. And she's like, I didn't think we were going to have sex.

I didn't have one on me. She's like, you don't have a condom. Like, hold on. I ran up in her kitchen naked looking for a condom in a kitchen like her parents are going to have one in one of the drawers, you know. And I was looking around. It was out of my mind. I had a hard on testosterone. She just turned 18.

And then I found a saran wrap. I just ripped it off. And I went down. It was dark. So she didn't know. I'm trying to work it in. And obviously, you know, it needs some lubrication. And then she turned the light on.

She's like, what is that? Oh, my God. Saran wrap? She's like, you fucking assholes. We started arguing. The parents woke up. Lights went on. And then like two days later, she broke up with me.

She was so disgusted. I used to sit outside of a house and wait for her to come home begging to take me back. Again, a condom made out of saran wrap. That's American ingenuity. He had to hold it at the same time. Smart people. Shit. Yeah.

I got to figure out something. I need something. You're the king of improvisation. Because it would have worked. If it would have went in, it would have worked. I just have to hold it at the base. I'll tell you how I know it would have worked. All those, you know, we had a bunch of.

I think on the church, we had a bunch of discussions about the massage parlors in North Hollywood. And I always knew somebody like the, the one guy went on Rogan, the guy that painted Facebook headquarters. Okay. Chow or Chow? Chow. He went on there and said he went to a massage parlor. The chick had to be 40. She ate his ass.

Oh, she was. No, she was older than 40. She was like 55. You still have the address? I don't know. I don't know. He said, he said he went in there and he goes, what? When is a young girl available?

And the girl was like, no young girl. Today it's me. And he goes, how bad could it be? He goes, she picked up my dick and started eating my ass for openers. You know that. So for openers, when somebody opens with an eating ass, they're a savage. They just bypassed the whole situation. So I heard different stories and there was a guy that used to go to jujitsu with me that used to basically go to jujitsu, change and then walk right over to the massage parlor.

Like maybe seven doors down. And he told me that in there because if they get raided, they can't have the condoms on premises. It's already prostitution, but they have tons of fucking saran wrap and boxes of rubber bands. And that's what they would do. That's what they would do. They would put saran wrap on your dick, a rubber band and the Chinese chick or Japanese or Korean or whatever. Vietnamese or Thai. I don't want to insult nobody.

They would suck your dick with the saran wrap on and then the rubber bands on the bottom. They just pull it out and throw it away. I had a couple guys tell me that they went to all those North Hollywood. They were disgusting. Those things. I don't know how people do it. I don't want to massage that bad. I walked into like one or two of them that were kind of weird.

Like, you know, and then my buddy turned me on to a good massage place that you could just, you know, you could do whatever you wanted to. It was guys. It was guys and one Asian chick rubbing you down. But the rest of those places, I got caught in one of those things one time in Michigan. I just, you know, I was green. I was a feature act. It was like maybe my first weekend as a feature act and my shoulder was stuck. I'm driving.

You know, I had to drive 22 hours. My shoulder got stuck and I walked into one of those places in Michigan and the chick at the door was Lucy Lou Jack. And I didn't know what was going on. She's like, coming back, take off all your clothes. I go, what I have to take off my clothes is my shoulder. She go, take off all your clothes. I go, okay, I took off my clothes. Doug, she sent the C team in that motherfucker.

She greeted you. But then she said, oh yeah, yeah, they always put the good looking one out front and they send the scrubs in. And I just picked up $250 from doing five shows in Michigan. That's what you get, you know? And I'm driving back. I'm trying to make ends meet and she's rubbing my shoulder and I'm sitting there like, what the fuck is next? And she stopped and she goes for $40. I give you a job and I'm like, you have no fucking $40.

Maybe, maybe a dollar or two for $40. I can do it myself. Plus I'm broke. I got to eat those subway sandwiches. Those veggie and cheese. Oh yeah. I ran the fuck out of there when that late. I don't want anybody fucking whacking me off.

I'm too old. I have to get 21. I don't want a fucking hand job from anybody. The first time my friend went in one, I was like, how was it? Cause I was like, I don't know if I want to go in there. He goes, he goes, I was done in seven Mississippi. You know how he used to, when you play for one Mississippi, two Mississippi goes, I counted a seven Mississippi and I came. I'm like, it doesn't seem like it's worth it then.

He paid for it. You know how bad I would feel if I paid a woman for sex and I came like in two minutes. Like I usually do. It's no, nothing's going to change. Whether you're a wonder woman. You still can't control that after all these years. The chubby chick. You can breathe.

You can breathe and close your eyes and shit. You know, it's very hit and miss. But usually I'm a minute, minute and a half. If I really focus and think, hey, I can't do it in the morning no more. I get all rushed up in anxiety. Really? But if I really focus and take my time, I'm okay. I could do, you know.

What about when you used to do coke back in the day? Cause usually you could fuck for hours on coke. I never did coke. The first load came fast. That came fast. Came on the tits. Right. And then you do a little bit more coke and fucking.

Right. And you're up all night. So it's not like there's any pressure to get. But then your dick dies. Then like, I was in situations were horrible. One night I was doing, I was going to have a threesome. Never had a threesome in my life. I'm in Miami.

It's a chubby chicken, a good looking chicken. They're like, come back. The chubby chick takes off her clothes. I'm all coked up. I'm watching fucking one of those late night talk shows. It's a Tuesday night. They're swapping spit. They're eating their pussy.

And they're like, join in. Guess what? I got dead dick. My dick is a turtle. My dick already went into the skin. The only thing that's out there is the wing sock. Don't you just see me sitting here? I mean, if I was involved, I would, if I could be involved, they kept coming over.

Don't you want to join in? No. And then after the night and we passed out, I went to pee at like eight in the morning. I also had like a two foot dick. And I'm trying to wake up the two girls. Let's do it. They're like, go away. Go away.

It's too late. We're tired. We got to go to dentist on the 11th. Yeah, you got to capitalize on that moment when it's happening. Yeah. You know, I vote no. I've never been good at that shit. You know what I mean?

I know people who brag, they go for two hours and they went all night. They didn't sleep. That didn't happen to me one time when I was 19. Right. She was 27. So I wasn't navigating this ship. It was her ship. She knew what she was doing.

I didn't. Yeah. And she kept me up all night. That's when she put the sponge in a pussy. Remember in the 80s, it was 83. So this chick had her, it wasn't a diaphragm. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I remember that thing. Yeah. A little sponge. And when they flew out and just fucking. Did you ever hit the sponge? I'm not sure. You know, I was too young.

Right. Retarded. I was retarded. You needed someone like you had a 27-year-old. But when I was like 20, I had a 38-year-old. Yeah. You needed someone like that. She would rock our world.

She went through all of our friends. All my friends. Did she? Yeah. Set separate times or whatever. We were like that. I'm like, this woman taught us. I never saw a woman on all fours before in my life.

I'm like, this is fucking awesome. She's walking around naked. I'm like, holy shit. This is crazy. This girl was. But she taught me to rope. I'm sure that 27-year-old did too. She filled in some holes.

Okay. There was a couple of holes in my game. It was amazing because I was 19. She was 29 and she had a sister, Tia. They were from Milwaukee and they were my neighbors in Aspen. When I first moved to, whatever the fuck, Basalt, Holland Hills. And she used to cut my hair. And one day I'm sitting and she's cut my hair.

We were friends already. And one thing led to another and she goes, just, what's going on with you? Do you have a girlfriend? I go, not yet. I got a crush on you and I put my hand up her skirt. And she took my hand and she didn't say nothing. She goes, you want it that way. She goes, I'll tell you what.

I kind of like you too. She goes, but I can't fuck you while you're my neighbor. She goes, you're moving out in 11 days. Then we can have an affair. I swear to God. I moved out July 1st of 83. She was at my house July 6th. We're breeches and apples and a blanket.

And I'm like, what the fuck is breeches and wine? Yeah, yeah. And I'm a fucking animal from Jersey. I just want to hit her in the head with the glass wine and fuck her. I need a pussy. That's it. And we're on the grass in the middle of Snowmass Village. We're like a real fucking, a real picnic.

Like I've never been in a picnic in my fucking life. And all I want to do is fuck. And she wants to eat breeches and rub it on an apple and drink wine. Ask me about the fruitiness of the wine. And I just, I listen. I gotta fuck you. Like I can't take this. And she's like, okay, we went back to the house.

We just did in the shower. She had diarrhea. It's pussy. I ever saw. So this is how when you're 18, you do creepy things, but you don't remember them until when you move back to Jersey. So she rocked my world so hard that afternoon. It's like she came over like at one and she left like at four.

And it was like, like I was blown the fuck away. It was like seeing somebody for like seven for the first time. Right. My mouth was wide to fuck open. And I took a shower when I got my head together and I smoked some pot. And I was like, damn it. I'm going to get more of that pussy. Guys, I walked from Snowmass Village because I just had so much energy.

I wanted to fuck her so bad. I hitchhiked down to Snowmass. He was going to Aspen. I was going to Bissau. I walked to fucking Bissau. I think somebody picked me up towards the end. She got off. She worked at the Grog shop at Aspen, a wine store.

And she got off for working like nine. It took her like maybe 30 minutes. I'll never forget. I was sitting in the weeds on a chair when she pulled up to the Grog shop. And I'm like, I got to hit this again because I didn't give you my best show. Right. And that was the night I stayed up with her all night. Then I started dating her.

We dated until about, she wanted me to go to a Rocky Horror Picture show. That's where you lost me. Like I already won. I already ate your ass. I already won a picnic with you. I went on a couple of picnics with her. She was a white chick. That's what they liked to do.

Yeah, I know. They liked that coin. They could do and rub your feet and all that. She was very nice. Make a sandwich and sit there. No, three cheese and apples and a wine. That was it. That was it.

Okay. I didn't even drink wine then. I didn't even know what the fuck wine was. I drank a bottle of wine North Bergen. I rode from Albertson's that I half got on that Julio Gallo shit. Oh yeah, that stuff. Yeah. I had eight for four fucking days.

Oh yeah, it's a worship. But you always had to have it just in case you had girls over. Keep the wine. Just have wine. Because no chick wants to drink Budcans. You know, that's all we drank was Budweiser and a can. If you're doing coke, go drink whatever the fuck you have. Right, whatever you have, but it's always good to have that wine.

You drink whatever I give you. Fuckin' McGregor whiskey. It tastes like ass, but it don't matter. The worst was if you were metalhead and you got a girl back, you wanted to put on some music in the background, but you have all heavy metal shit. So it's, I remember putting Ozzy on like Goodbye to Romance. That was a slow song.

That's a good jam. Yeah, I know, but it's just like I didn't have anything. No, they don't want it. So they went out and bought that Charte album. Yeah. That first Charte album was fucking, that was a closer. Fire, fire. That one, like a Madonna, I forgot what Madonna won.

The first Madonna. Maybe, yeah. Just have those two in the collection. My friends would make fun of me. Like you got Charte. What are you, gay? I'm like, no, I go, I need this. I got fucking Iron Maiden doesn't have any ballads.

I can't put fucking the trooper on when this chick trying to get her in the mood. So I throw that on. So I always had those two. That Charte album was fucking phenomenal. It was like Mariana Rivera. Oh, the first two Charte albums are fucking classic. Classic. You have the first one?

I probably still, probably still. Yeah. We got a borrower for the album of the week. That's a great fucking album. I like Charte. I even like, I just got a greatest hit. So I downloaded it on something. The greatest hit isn't bad.

It's just something different to listen to in the gym. Shit like that. You can't listen to the Sabbath every fucking day. I don't know if I can work out to Charte. Nah, but when you want a plane or something. Yeah, yeah, something. Yeah, you want to be male. Yeah, I'll throw some goofy shit on every once in a while.

You got any dates coming up Tarzan? Yeah. July 2nd, Padawada, Padawadama Casino in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I'm there and in July 7th through night, side splitters in Tampa. And then the Improv in Tampa on Sunday, July 10th. Were you at Albany Wednesday night? What Thursday?

Yeah, I will be tonight. Yeah. That's fucking great, man. Yeah, something went on. And then my podcast, everybody is awful every Monday. I do Patreon, do three extra podcasts a week. I'm a Patreon, so everybody is awful out every Monday. And join the Patreon.

Well, you got to see the fucking neighbors. We didn't have to zoom this time. Yeah, I know. It was great. I'm like, I could do this podcast. It's right around the corner. Right around the fucking corner. It was at 11 o'clock.

I left at 1058. That's beautiful. Fucking perfect. But I'm excited about the bird tour. I'll see you motherfuckers in Bristol. I don't know. South Carolina, Mississippi. I'm excited.

I saw the videos. Yeah. He's doing a great job. The bird's great, man. He knows. The bird's doing a great job. So hopefully I'll see you motherfuckers out there. And that's it.

I want to thank Jimmy for coming on. I want to thank you motherfuckers for supporting us. And now for a word from my motherfucking sponsor, Jack. All right, you bad motherfuckers. I want to thank Jimmy. Plus I want to thank you guys. I'm excited about going on the road. So we won't be having a podcast on Monday.

We'll be back next Wednesday. But listen, in the meanwhile, the joint is brought to you by Stamps.com. I love Stamps.com regardless of whether you got a business with 100 employees or a business with three employees. Why take time out of your day to go to a post office when you can just do everything from your office or home or wherever you send packages from.

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It's that simple. I want to thank stamps.com and I want to thank CBD lion. I want to thank manscape. I want to thank the freeze pipe. And I want to thank Jimmy Florentine for coming in house today and making my life a lot fucking easy. I love your cocksuckers. I'll either see you Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday on the bird tour. If not, I'll be back next Wednesday.

Stay black. Uncle Joey loves you and I'll see you then. Thank you.