Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #176 - Joey Diaz, Danny B. and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: May 12, 2014

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined again by Danny B. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. Escapepodtank.com Mention Joey or the Church and get $250 off. Recorded on 05/12/2014.

This show is sponsored by Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus when you go to huluplus.com slash joey. That's huluplus.com slash joey. And by dollarshaveclub.com. Get a high quality razor sent to your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now go to dollarshaveclub.com slash church. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash church. Or just go to joeyds.net and click on the dollarshaveclub banner. And go to escapepodtank.com for all of your sensory deprivation tank needs that are already going to save you thousands. But if you mentioned joeydias or the church

of what's happening now, they're going to save you an additional $250 off. Oh, shit. Monday, May 12th, the day the devil got fucked in the ass, lit on fire, then buried in sea with Donald Sterling. What? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. You need some black girls with afros in the back of your hand? I'ma pull an afro on you, cocksuck and make you wiggle with a bikini on you. What? What? Grab your nuts, motherfuckers. It's Monday and they ain't fucking around. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Vapors, e-cigarettes, alpha brain, protein shakes, and my dick is hard,

ready for somebody to suck it. Let's do this, motherfucker. What? You're seeing, we're seeing Aubrey in Austin, right? Who? Aubrey. I'm seeing everybody. Because we need to get him to like make one of those weird things. But just do alpha brain, extreme tech sport, immune, strong bone, all in one thing. All in one fucking vape and boom, your head blows up and next thing you know,

you're doing jumping jacks and your knees don't hurt no more. It's a beautiful fucking day to be alive. We're here at the new offices, the new church facilities. We will unveil it to you by Wednesday once we hang the American flag up. The microphone's coming in. We're going back to fucking basics. You understand me? We're going back to the fucking, what do you call it, a little hole when the bottom fucking comes and where people hide? We're going to the bomb shelter. We're going to the bomb shelter. You understand me?

Why would we go there? Because that's what we're going to do. We'll go and just hang and sit and fucking smoke. What's with the questions, guys? I've never heard anyone say let's go to the bomb shelter. Let's go to the fucking, that's what this is. The last place is the bomb shelter. The last place is the fucking bomb shelter. It's air conditioning, windows, humanity.

No black people, we got Russians. No fucking black, we got Russians guarding the fucking thing, you know what I'm saying? I don't mind black people. That lady was just a confused black person. That's it. She was trying to be somebody who was, she's not, which is fucking 62% of this fucking LA scene and 40% everywhere else. She's a fucking black woman trying to be a noted republic. I can't say she can't be a noted republic. But she was sitting this fucking cubicle off there doing dick.

Just, you know, it was one of those places where she went just to hang out, to tell somebody that she had a fucking office. That's a snow office. You don't invite nobody there. Yeah. But what do you do? Fuck it, we got a better place. Fuck it, we got a better place right up here. We're crossing the fucking car lot.

We got an out burger down the corner. Oh, that could be bad. We got a Chinese joint down the corner. Really? We got a CVS joint down the corner. Before I started going to China, Dele used to go to that joint up the corner. Oh, sure.

Got a nice lunch special. It was not too fucking bad. What made you leave? I found a better joint, but then they all suck dick now. So I don't eat Chinese food at all. Boy, your mother for mother's day? Oh, yeah. Very important.

We only have one fucking mother. When she's gone, you can't get nothing back. You know what I'm saying? Oh my God. I'm sure everyone, not everyone saw it, but sports center, like they'll usually do one story that won't make you cry. They had like a 10 minute segment

of like five or six stories of these moms that were in the army or the Navy and coming back to surprise their kids. It's fucking tough. It's very tough. I can't, my cousin is in the Air Force and she just went to, she's in Afghanistan for six months

and she has like a two year old kid. But luckily she went to live with the dad for the six months, but it's just, it's crazy. Very crazy to give up your children and go, but that's a commitment you make. You know, when it makes you stronger, it makes you tougher in a way. I just want to give a shout out to the mothers

that listen to the show without you. We got fucking nothing. It all starts with that fucking monkey. That's the bottom line. It all starts there. So I hope all the guys and girls that listen to the church give your moms love because at the end you got nothing. I don't have a mom to send a fucking card to.

I don't have somebody to send flowers to or to call. Tell her, thank you for fucking giving me a chance. But in my heart, I do. I have a lot of moms. So I called them all yesterday and I had a nice time with my wife. You know, we were going to go, I fucking, the night before the first off Santa Fe was tremendous. Awesome.

Santa Fe is a great little city. New Mexico is one of the uncharted fucking, you know, nobody thinks that New Mexico, nobody. I was introduced to New Mexico maybe 15 years ago. When I was, when I was in college and I was getting ready to go to prison. I worked for the Hertz Corporation. That was part of the management.

Training program? Management training program. And I would have to drive cars on the weekends. That was my job to back to the original destinations. So they offered it to me. Some kid could do it for eight bucks an hour. I could do it for like 15 in a hotel and fucking. That sounds awesome.

And I didn't do comedy then. It just used to get me out of town to breathe and think about my life and where I was going to go. I take a couple of J's and no coke on those trips. And I just spend the weekend and I got to eat the green chilies and I got to learn about their culture. And it's really a neat fucking place. It's fucking beautiful.

New Mexico as a whole is beautiful. That's what Greg Jackson's camp in. And I wish they could have came to the show but they had their own fights in Albuquerque. We shot the longest yard in Santa Fe. And that was the first time I was back in Santa Fe since the longest yard. So the first day we got there, we went outside.

Ari and I, Ari wanted to get high. I got one more week before I could get high till Saturday. And I'm smoking refuel. How long had it been? 90 days on Saturday. Wow. We'll talk about that later. It's so funny.

I sat outside and this vet came up to us. This great kid from Las Cruces, Anthony and his girlfriend. And they asked if we wanted to get high. And it was just four people just talking, you know? Something that, you know, there was no Hollywood, no nothing. They pulled it up. It was Joey. Well, he's staying in a dump like this one.

I knew as soon as he got out of the car, he was a member of the church. And he came over and we sat and we spoke. And he was a vet. And he really, he really inspired me, you know, as a 25-year-old kid to come back. And he was already in a war, you know? And what a fuck have I done at 25?

But I admire that and inspired me. He was with his girlfriend. He's going back to school, you know? Really fucking inspired this shit out of me. How some people come back and cry, you know? And this is this. They don't accept me. Some people come back and just pick their fucking pants on.

You know, I never went to the service. But I always, I always have a soft spot for them because it's something I wanted to do. Again, another one of my regrets. I would have loved to be able to say that I serve my country. I serve my country a different way in prison, like a fucking jerk off. But it's a great experience for Pete.

I see what it does for them. For some people, you know, some people don't take anything from experiences. But if I was in a hole and I was 18, I had no fucking future. And I didn't. I just was a hustler and a survivor. And I knew how to put pieces together.

You know, I didn't show up for my physical because I didn't want to get a blood test. I had no problem shooting people and cursing motherfuckers out. But God forbid I was so shallow at that age that I overlooked such a life over a blood test, something that takes 60 seconds. You know? That was really the only reason you didn't go?

That's the real reason. I had nothing going on. And I knew that if I would have gone, I would have had some type of, it would have been the push I needed. I was pushing myself at that age. So it wasn't like I was just sitting there watching MTV all fucking day, watching videos.

I was still out there doing my thing, but it's always been one of my... Hey, listen, man. If you're 18 and you joined the service, you fucking retire by the time you're 38. You know what that's like to be walking around with 38 and getting checks in the mail? You go back to college.

You could do a thousand fucking things, you know? And I know that you put up with a lot of shit, but you put up with a lot of shit in life. If you're 18 and you go work on a fucking warehouse, how much shit do you put up with? They give you 750 an hour. You got to be there on time. Maybe your boss is angry, fucking passive.

He wants to be a ballet star, but he ended up in a fucking warehouse. So now he takes it out on you every fucking day. What's the difference? What's the fucking difference? When you see people that uptighten their jobs, that they're bosses and they push you, that's because that's not what they really wanted to fuck.

I hate that shit. Yeah. When I used to work, when I used to be a fucking civilian and people come in and Tony's here, you know, make believe you're working. Fucking, you know, I fucking hate that shit. And I understand what people go through

on a daily basis when they work, you know? And it's so weird, like you could tell when somebody's kind of stuck. Those days when I was young, I would see those people. And we talked about this last week, when you work and you see people that are older than you and you're like, that's what I have to look forward to being that. That's what I have to, even if I stick this out

and learn this career and do, I look forward to being that guy. That that's all, you know, he wants to yell at me or fucking tell me that I didn't do the fucking boxes, right, or the orders. I mean, they just come in to fucking bring the energy level down some bosses, you know, and then they leave. They just come in and spread like a fucking,

well, those Chinese people, the Mongolians that killed everybody, they just come in, slice your head off and leave, you know? So I think what it is, is when you're 18 and making that decision, someone telling me that I'm going to be 38 and retired, I can't even imagine. You can't imagine, you really can't imagine.

You know, I talk this shit here to you guys and I'm wrong for talking it because give me fucking 10, 18-year-olds and I'll show you one of those 10 that thinks about the future, like really the future, that really even looked past 30. Because when you're 18, 25 seems like a fucking... Oh, yeah. It seems like an eternity away.

And it's not. And it's really not. It goes by fucking fast, you know? Because you graduate, what, when you're 12, how old were you when you graduated college? 22, 21. Yeah, because you go in when you're 18, 18 years. 22, 23.

Yeah. And for the last three years before I met you, what were you doing? Why met you at 23, basically? Yeah, and basically met me six months a year after I got out of college. So, I mean, it's just, it's a... And I don't think the people who go into the army

are going in thinking, oh, I get to retire in 20 years, it's just what they want to do. What they want to do at that time, you're right. But like my cousin, my cousins, I have both of them around there, and they grew up like so poor. Like it was just like their mom was working at McDonald's.

And it just, it's just, it was terrible. But they both went in. One of them is one of the guys that refueled planes in midair. And that's fucking cool. He goes, he just went to Japan and Hawaii. Like he, and, but then the other one who has the kid spent time in Okinawa and London. And now that she has the kid, they're paying her more.

And then now she's based in like North Carolina for most of the year, but every couple of years she has to go to Afghanistan for a few months. But she's the Air Force so she's not doing anything dangerous. Oh, you're always doing something dangerous because if there's a war, you get, I don't know what the word is, activated or, I don't want to sound like a fucking momo.

I am a fucking momo. But it's just amazing the people that, the people that inspire me sometimes. Like I don't get inspired by fucking movie stars and all this shit. I get inspired by little people because it takes me back. It takes me back. It reminds me.

I love being reminded. I love being reminded every fucking day. Of what life could be or what life used to be like. So it makes me work harder. People that pushed the past back and forth. I dip into that once a day whenever I'm feeling down. You know, if I'm feeling down about something, I go, you know what?

I'll tell you how bad it could be. I could be waking up with a piece of shit next to my face with no blanket, no pillow. Hey, most people learn from that. No, it keeps me fucking honest, man. Every, because it keeps me knowing what could happen. Any minute, this could all, this is just a fucking, you know, I think if you're real and you're nice and you genuinely love people

for what they are, I think that even in bad times, you survive. Have you always been like that? Because I mean, just speaking for me personally, this is the happiest I've ever been. So I try not, like it's not an act if I try not to, but I don't find myself thinking about a couple of years ago, like, oh, thank God. Well, you can't fake happiness.

Right. You could laugh and giggle whenever you go home. You're in your four walls and you're crying. You know, you can't fake happiness. Well, that's the worst. And I did plenty of that growing up. I did plenty of that when I was trying to become a comedian, helping from the frustration, you know, when you want something so bad

and you can't get help, you know, and you can't, and you figure it out. You go, you know what? I don't need no fucking help. I'm going to figure it out and you diagram your own fucking directions. You know, and that's why I always say the power of the pen. Diagram your own fucking direction. Diagram your own fucking map. This is your map.

You know, when you get in your car, you go, I'm going to go to fucking, you know, whatever. And you press the address and it navigates. She would tell you, I wish life was like that. And nothing really happens till you make your fucking plan, where you make your map, that this is what I'm doing. And nothing's going to deter me from this. You know, I'm boring, man.

I'm an individual one at the end that comes to it. Because I do what works for me and I do it exactly the same way every day. Because it works for me. When I deviate from what works for me, that's when my day goes kaput. I know what's going to work for me. And it's funny. I'm taking a voiceover class. That's awesome.

Right. I take this is the second week out of three. You know, I signed with a voiceover agent and I didn't do too well. And I'm the type of guy that if I don't do too well, either I figure it out, which I went online and tried to read. Or I know that if I mimic somebody or I go see somebody do it, I'll get better at that job. So what?

And I don't know. Maybe you don't know yet. Maybe that's why you're in the class. But like you're acting the longest yard and then they want you to do the longest yard cartoon. How is that different? Like it seems like it'd be similar. Well, when you do a voice, your emotion has to come to your voice.

I don't have my hands. Okay. I don't have my eyes. I don't have my mouth. I don't have my mannerisms. So maybe the cartoonist or whatever you call them. Yeah, that's right. There's a word for them.

Animator. Animator could do all that with me. But my voice is what gives that character emotion with cartoons. Okay. And so either this is all falling in because now I watch cartoons again. Oh, yeah. I've been watching Pepper Pig. Pepper Pig, by the way, is fucking hysterical.

I don't even know that one. Pepper Pig is this cartoon that replaced a bunch of shit on Nick at night. It's this fucking pig with an English accent. And it fucking pissed Mercy off for about a month. Oh, she didn't like it? No, because she already knew what time these things come on. It was Team Umizoomi comes on. But now they've replaced the whole Nick at Night Network with fucking Pepper Pig.

And she snaps. So every morning I take Mercy and I sit around my lap and we watch. I go to ABC TV and I watch the ABCs. I watch ABC Phonics. I do the numbers with her. And then to break up the monotony, I do the alphabet by Pepper Pig. All the other kids videos, Beaver, whatever, and abc.com, they all give you, you know, A is for Apple, Apple, B is for ball, ball, ball, ball.

C is for cat, cat, D is for dog. I give you all these fucking words. Pepper Pig's ABC just breaks it the fuck open. She's talking about dinosaurs and fucking cat food. Like her words are funnier. And the pigs, the daddy pig, the mommy pig. I fucking giggle every time I watch the alphabet by Pepper Pig. That's just me.

But it's amazing how you, not, I just want to be good at it. You know, I know that our lives go in evolution. I don't like to be bored. I don't like being bored. You know, we had a great time last week when we did two podcasts outside. We could have done them in the office. We went against our fucking grain. We didn't play no music, no video.

We just went out there and had a talk. We got forced to do a podcast again. Yeah. And it was fucking fantastic. It taught me a lot again. I like switching shit up. People come to me on the tone, Hey, when are you going to do Joy Karate videos?

I'm not doing them no more. I might start doing Joy Jiu Jitsu videos pretty fucking soon. If I lose some weight, you know, get on the mat and do some hip escape, some motherfuckers and some fucking judo rolls by myself. Something just to show people I'm fucking up to. But I still go every day. I'm going today to fucking Jiu Jitsu. I'm going to 1030 because I thought I had a one.

So I'm going up to 10th planet. And I had a great week last week, Jiu Jitsu wise, because I went to class three times. Oh, wow. And we're breathing. I mean, it's going to be so hard to smoke reefer again in the mornings. Because my breathing has improved. When you said it, I was like,

are you sure you're definitely going to go back to it? Because you seem so happy with it. I might take a few hits at night just to help the fucking cause, you know. But I'm having fun with the vapor. You know, the vapor doesn't get me high after lunchtime. After this morning rush, I don't do anything. Oh, Jesus. That's why are you high right now?

Yeah. Don't make me give you another one, cock sucker. You could use another vapor. It's that time anyway. It's Monday, May 12th. You know what I'm saying? Why are you looking at me at that look? Because I'm high.

You're not even an edible. You know what I'm saying? So what? That's what they're there for. What do you mean? But if I brought an edible, you'd be fucking crying too. I don't want my waistline. I didn't cry at all.

God damn it. Um, it is kind of crazy. Because like for me, there were a bunch of editors who like had been there for 20 years. And they don't. Okay. Oh, shit. And they didn't, they never learned new equipment or something. Or they, they, they learn the bare minimum.

So then they have a guy like me come in and basically show them how to turn it on. So it is kind of cool that, that you have to always evolve and always learn. You have to. You have to. I, I listened for 20 years. People, oh, your voice is great. You be great at voiceovers. Nobody ever fucking signed me for a voiceover.

What did I do? I did trip tank. Is it on? Yeah, it's on. There's the light on. Let me see. Cock sucker, did you fuck it up? Once I did trip tank, yeah, it's on.

Just press it. I'm supposed to live it. I'm supposed to listen to a burn. Let me see if I can get it. Don't listen to nothing. Just press it and smoke it. Don't listen to the burn. You want to hear a burn?

What's the matter? Listen to my asshole as I fucking pop a fart, cock sucker. Press it. You press it. Press it. Keep pressing. And now I hit it again. Hey, you didn't get nothing.

Let your finger off it for a minute. Let it refuel. Press it again. Two seconds. Hit it. Slow, slow. Not like a fucking black cock. Slow, cock sucker.

Slow, get the fumes in your lung. That's a point. I'll let it sit in your throat. Bust that fucking vapor out. There you go. You see what I'm saying? Who takes care of you? Like your uncle Joey cock sucker.

Nobody. No, I had to go to the trip tank. I had to. I did the trip tank and I wanted to do more voice overs and I talked to a friend of mine who that's what he does. And I took him out to breakfast and they asked him. He goes, I'll give you a shot.

And he right away, he got the ball going. He threw me right to the fucking wolves. This guy was my commercial agent in 1997 also. He was my first commercial agent. Oh, cool. So I signed with him across the board. I went to a couple of auditions. I didn't do good.

And you know me, bro, I don't like doing good, especially when somebody works hard for me. I can't let them down, you know, especially those agents. So I checked around and I signed up for this class, you know, and it's with three different directors, casting directors from Disney, shit like that. Oh, that's so cool. If I get a little bit out of it,

if I don't learn one fucking thing, it was worth the fucking 80 bucks or whatever, you know. It's Monday, seven to 10. And hopefully I'll get better at it, you know. And this is why you do these little workshops and shit, you know. I don't do a workshop for life for somebody to hold my hand. I go, I get their interpretation of it, and then I do what I do.

Right. And we put it all together, you know. But that's funny that you think, just because I did a fucking, I do it all. I don't give a fuck. I'm trying to learn everything. The book will be out by December. Oh, yeah.

We hooked up with that girl. She's so nice. She's great. She's great. You know, I'm going to do this book. I'm going to put another CD out. So this is what's in the works right now. I'm starting to do all this.

The book is probably a quarter gone, man. It's, I've really been putting some time into it. I think I'm going to only do a couple fucking different weeks this summer. I'm going to San Jose. I'm going to Vegas, but I'm going to focus on that book. So it's done by the end of August.

Nice. So by September and October she can, it's been a fucking, listen, I didn't know how to write, Lee. All right. Six years ago I sat behind a computer in Hollywood when I stopped doing blow and I started putting a blog up every Monday.

And if you look at those blogs today, like Joey, you're a dummy. I didn't even know how to write. I had no ideas. I had forgotten grammar. I had forgotten spelling. I had forgotten everything. I've been that long.

I made the mistake that a lot of young people do in Hollywood when I was young. They come to town. They buy a writing book and they think the writing books don't do the writing for them. You can read all the books you want on writing unless you fucking write. Nothing's going to happen.

You got to write. It's like everything else. You know, you could stay at home and watch jujitsu videos. Unless I go there and get beat up for a year, you're never going to get nothing. You only get better at something. You get beat up at something. But the main thing is you got to do it.

If you don't do it, then you're fucking dead. You know, and that's why I do all these little fucking things I do to keep me sharp. I'm 51, Lee. I'm supposed to be losing my memory. I'm supposed to be losing all these fucking things. And I accept them, but I got to keep the areas that are sharp, fucking sharp.

You know, when you cover Michael, when you played the fucking whatever, the Bulls in the 80s, the 90s, you didn't cover Michael Jordan to say, you're going to shut them down. That's not going to happen. What you do is cover the other guys four tightly and let Michael Jordan run his game.

Do you follow the backing behind it, the mindset? And that's just what I'm doing. I'm playing a fucking box four on me. So whatever I'm strong at, I go at what I'm weak at. I'm just going to get rid of now because I'm fucking 51, but you don't want no weaknesses. You want to keep writing and keep fucking, you know, you just want to keep doing it, brother.

That's great. No, it's great. It's not that I didn't think you could do it, but it's just it's, uh, I know a lot of people who when they get to your age, if someone's going to take a take a voice over class, they might say, oh, those stupid casting directors don't know what they're doing.

I'm just going to keep to this or I'll eventually get it. So maybe they don't know what they're doing, but neither do I. But if I could take one quality from them. Oh, no, you're doing the right thing. I'm just saying what they would have said. Quality from them. If I could take one line from them that I learned something,

then I'll be, I'll be fucking ready to rock, you know. If I could take one thing from them and learn, that's all that fucking matters, man. That's what evolving is. That's what you keep moving, you know, for the last three weeks, I took the kettlebells out three days a week out of my thing because I was, I was just eating too much.

So now I go to Y and I do the elliptical. And I do the bag and I do the bicycle once a week to loosen up my knee. I try to keep it, you know, I try to go to one drill class with John Evan, but then I also go to one fucking fighting class with Salami so he could beat the fuck out of me up a 10th plan.

And I keep it all going because it keeps my mind fresh. You know, I can't do the same fucking shit every week, you know. So if you're bored of what you're doing, just switch up a little bit once in a while for a few weeks just to throw some whatever in there. You know, this morning, I didn't have a protein shake this morning to be honest with you. I had a fucking egg and I had a piece of fucking,

whatever you call it, a piece of fish I had left over. Yeah, with no toast. Oh, shit. Yeah, just something different. I'll have a protein shake when I go home now. Okay. You know, because I had two protein shakes the other night, back to back, the fucking farts that I blasted

on the way down to sand, whatever, or the worst ever. When you have two protein, when you have a protein shake at the end of your night to help you whatever after you work out because I had a late workout. Thursday night or Friday night, I went to Jiu-Jitsu. Began at Jiu-Jitsu late and I went home and instead of eating, I had a protein shake.

Then when I woke up the next morning, my flight was early, so I had a protein shake. What, all that whey and whatever the fuck the chemicals they put in there. When you eat healthy, what comes out of your ass is horrible. You can eat 10 white castles and fart and it's okay. I can't imagine a one egg and a fish fart that smells good though.

No, I had a fried egg. I ate the yolk and then I fucking had a piece of salmon that was left over. That fart's gonna kill somebody. So what, but it's protein and rich. I love it when people aren't right when I have bad fart shakes to somebody. Oh, I love it.

I was blasting them yesterday. And yesterday it was coming out of my ass is the pre-farts right in the plane. The pre-shit fart, the last one before. That's terrible. That's why you're talking about shit. It's Monday, May 12th. A little something for my mother on fucking post-mother's day.

I played this yesterday for my mom. Really? Candle. I couldn't get flowers because the cats eat them. Oh, really? My buddy Frankie Bauzano always calls me tell me where your mother's funeral site is. It's like a drunk flower.

It's not the same, you know. Little Tony Bennett. We've been gone for two fucking long people. The live podcast, two music ones. We're back. It's Monday to 12th. Get your shit together. You used to do with me.

What the fuck, Lee? Nothing. I've decided that I'm going to have to learn Spanish for Paula's mom. Okay. And I'm the fucking worst at languages. What you're doing for Mercy is so cool because I can memorize the words,

but the fucking grammar and the conjugating words. Listen, don't worry about all that shit. What you need to do is I got the pleasure for you. Got it. One day, every day for one hour, you're going to go and put on Talamundo. That's it? That's it.

For now, this goes in different. I want you to listen. Okay. I want you to listen. I do notice that I take a notebook. Take a notebook, open it from scratch. You just write little words down. Because a lot of English words sound similar in Spanish.

They just chugged around a little bit. So you got that. So as long as you understand one word from each sentence, we're halfway there. Then we're going to pick up two words. Okay. Then we're going to pick up three words. But I want you to listen.

Something we don't do anymore. We don't listen. God gave you fucking ears to listen. That's why I love podcasting. I like to use stream, but I like podcasting because it forces you to listen. When I was growing up, it was albums. Richard Price.

So you had to listen. Now, you get more video and all that shit. I like when people have to listen. If you listen, the people talk Spanish. One hour a day. That's seven hours a week in the morning. Eight to nine. Even if you put on the news, put the news on.

Put the news on. Because when they talk about the buttes, that's sports. Now you got to beat. That's because now you got an interest. Now you start figuring out $5,000. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Because it's an interest of yours.

Yeah. Now we got to find some fucking Mexican Jews. That's what we need to fucking find. I'm sure they have them. No, they got them. One of the guys that went to war with some Mexican Jew. But that's your first thing is listening. Is listening.

Because before you could speak, you have to listen. You know, it's funny how much of our learning process is from seeing other people. Oh, yeah. And we're not imitating. We're just learning and putting what he's doing to the next level. You know, I love spending time with my daughter. And I love doing that shit with the videos. But when I take her to those mommy and me classes,

because I'll go with my wife to them sometimes. We went to picture day the other day. And I had a great time. I just sit there and watch. And I learned from them. You know, I learned, oh my god, that's why you bring kids around. You know, and it's not that we're imitating somebody. We're imitating.

And that's where the art comes in. We're doing it our own way. And then we figure out how to do it the best way. You know, Maverick came to the shows the other day. Maverick is a kid that's listened to the podcast since day one. He's a producer. And he sent me a bunch of shirts from the show on A&E with the Beards. Doug Dynasty?

Doug Dynasty. And the other night he came up to me, shook my hand, and we were at the bar in Santa Fe. And he goes, you know, man, I really like what's happened to Lee. You could see where Lee has changed and come out of his shell in many ways. It's not because you're trying to beat Joe Diaz. It's because you saw different avenues. And I learned a lot from you, but I saw different avenues.

I saw what? Sometimes you see what's important and what's not important. Because of what happened to me early on in my life, I got to see what was important and what wasn't important. I didn't have time to learn. I had to just fucking erase shit. Like, this ain't gonna work. I always knew that I could help other people because a lot of people run scared.

Jesus Christ, who people run scared. And nobody was more scared or is more scared than me. Nobody. In the morning, when I wake up, those things I write on, that's what I have to tell myself to want to go out there and stab them, motherfucker. I got to push the extreme in the mornings. Nobody's more scared than me. But you see what you could do without.

And that's what I've always laughed at society about. What you could really do without and still prosper and still be a human being. What you could really do without. And that's what I always try. I hope that's what people take from this podcast. You know one thing you could do without in your life? Fucking fear. Fear of anything or anybody because it doesn't matter.

The worst thing they could do is fucking kill you. That's pretty bad. Who gives a fuck? But you die trying. You die trying. And that's a better feeling. Have we got a call? No.

That's a better feeling. Somebody kicking you in the fucking stomach or you saying I can't do it. Do you know what I'm saying? That's the worst. That's the number one thing we have to get rid of. But then there's little things. Like I drove for 10 years without a fucking license. You know what I'm saying?

Why everybody's running scared? You don't want to tell you. It's like as you move to LA, you got to change your license plates. No, you don't. No, you don't. You know what I'm saying? And even then, it's like what I was telling Damon the other day on Friday, things about flying.

When you fly. If I pull up and I see a fucking line of people on American Airlines that from now to shake and the first class line is open, I jump on that first class line. I mean, I get scared. And before you, that lady says, hi, you stick your fucking license in that machine. And you start working on your plane ticket. By the time she comes over and says to you, you're not first class go, Jesus, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know. I thought I'm what you're going to tell you, go back to the line. No, you already stuck your license into the fucking machine and got the computer paperwork going. It's over. She's not going to cancel and make you go back online. They're going to say, this time we'll do it. Next time, don't do it again.

Look, there's a fuck about next time. Next time I come here, you won't be at the counter anyway. Jesus, we didn't tell them what happened. I think it was last Monday before the podcast. We went to breakfast and you started yelling at cops. Oh, yeah. Oh, it was so scary. I was driving.

I was driving to breakfast in the cops. There was an accident. Cops pulled people over. Tell them what the cops were doing. In the middle of the freaking street. And it was annoying. It was causing traffic at rush hour, which is bad already. But you roll down the window and you're like, use your brains.

Cocksuckers. Use your fucking brains. And I was trying to get out as low as possible. It's a rush hour and you got the car parked in the middle of fucking street for some lady who got a fender bender. Pull your fucking car over. It's fucking. What time was it, Lee?

Am I lying? 8 30. 8 30 in the fucking morning. How much traffic is there in Los Angeles? That's not the first fucking cop that does it. They do it all the time. On the highway, too. On the highway to pull somebody over.

Because who gives a fuck if they're in the HOV lane? It's fucking 8 30. Get the license plate and send them in the fucking mail. But you're going to pull somebody over at fucking 10 after 8 to give a tour on the fuck. Get the fuck out of here. That's not being a cop. That's being a fucking idiot.

You're supposed to serve the community. When you pull over on Lancashire, because there's a homeless guy taking his dick out and two cars like that. And I got to go around them. That's not protecting the fucking community, man. You know, there's a big thing in LA going on right now about fucking cops dying. And hey, I sympathize with the families. I sympathize with everybody.

But you live by the sword. You fucking die by the sword. LA police don't fucking shoot nobody in the leg, man. They shoot people. In this fucking town, they shoot the kill. They do? Oh, fuck. Read the paper every day.

Well, they had a shooter guy who had it done. Shoot him in the leg. Shoot him in the leg two times. In LA, they kill everybody. Oh, Jesus. They kill. These cops kill fucking everybody. So you live by the fucking sword.

You die by the fucking sword. Some cop was in a lightning. I hit by a fucking drunk driver woman killed two weeks ago. My sympathies go out for the fucking family, but karma's a motherfucker just because you got a fucking badge. Don't mean you could double park or do what the fuck you want to do. You got to be a cop, but you also got to be a human fucking being. When I grew up, I was a bad person.

I did some bad things. But thank God the cops I dealt with were human beings. They came to me and said, what happened? This is what happened. You want to arrest me for two kids drawing their fucking hands up? Really over a parking spot? Take us around the corner, sit there with the cop car with the light on,

watch us fight it out and then put us in the car and take us fucking home. But these motherfuckers now would take it, but then they wonder why the jails are packed because they forgot to be human beings. The police department is corporate now. It's like everything fucking else in our lives. Everything has procedures.

This and this, this and this. What happens to be a fucking human being? I pull you over. I know who to fuck the speed. And I know who has to get the way the fuck they go. I know. You don't think you know when somebody's fucking playing you? You fucking know.

But there's people that just trying to, and then you pull them over and break their fucking balls. You follow me? It's just, you know, so you live by the fucking sword, you die by the sword. I've always said karma 101 is a motherfucker. And I'm not happy about that, the people's fucking lives. I know I'm going to get backlash for saying this shit,

but it's true. You pull up to some, there's people who have mental health issues who just wake up in the morning and get a fucking accident standing in front of the house and wave it around. You know what? You shoot tear gas at that motherfucker and you shoot him in the fucking leg with a 22.

And you take him to fucking mental health facility. They don't see it like that no more. They come in, they'll shoot your fucking dead. Maybe you forgot three days to take your medication. People forget to take that medication all the fucking time. So a guy gets it. They didn't shoot Martin Lawrence when he was naked on fucking whatever, you know?

Yeah. But they'll shoot a motherfucker in this town, man. And then they wonder why they're getting killed. Because karma is a motherfucker. Karma is a fucking motherfucker. You see that a lot more with animals like dog and stuff that always breaks my heart. What's going on the last three years

with these people shooting fucking dogs? I don't know. Shooting a fucking dog? Yeah. Shooting a fucking dog? Do you know what comes back to you when you shoot a dog? Do you know what happens to your fucking asshole? Something terrible, I hope.

You know, Michael Vick apologized to it, but Michael Vick lives in fear. Michael Vick lives in fear. You ever kick a cat or do something bad to an animal with karma you have? A gentle animal? Yeah, there's some animals out there looking to bite you. I could see, you know, I was sitting there the other day yesterday

if I'm at the park and I see a dog going to bite me, I got to kick him in the fucking neck. And I love animals, but I got to kick him in the neck. It's either fucking... I got to go for the jugular. I just posted that today. You go for the fucking jugular. What are you going to do?

I'm going to hold him back. I'll police. I got to kick that fucking dog in the throat. He's about to bite my fucking daughter or my fucking son. Right. Were we supposed to have a call? Yeah. Okay.

It is. What's up, brother? Hey! What's going on, kids? You bad motherfucker. I haven't had John for a while and I just wanted to talk to you about a few things that have been bothering me lately.

Well, let's do it, bro. You got the floor, my man. Danny B on the phone, one of the last fucking real savages from my society back in Jersey. A rare breed. A very rare breed, to say the least, but what's your hazard, buddy?

Last week I was talking to these guys about the movie The Thief, how I watched the end of it and I broke into tears because that's what I wanted to be in 1983. That's what I wanted to be in 1984. That's what I wanted to be in 1985. I wanted to be a thief

and I wanted to shoot people. And it was so sad that here I am today and I'm not a thief and I'm not shooting people, but that was the mindset I had, you know? And I've changed so many ways. I mean, Danny, you used to get a call every 10 days. Have you seen Coco?

He robbed my fucking house. That cocksucker, somebody took, you know, it was every fucking... Dude, I was one of a few that always had you back. You know, everybody was a thinker point there until you went to Hollywood. Now they're like, there he is. That's Coco. I go up with him.

That's my boy. Thank you. Yeah, fuck everybody. Thank you. Thank you. Now you know why the way I am like that fucking Facebook and shit. They always, even when I moved, even when I left New Jersey,

I was still getting blamed for robberies. And it's funny, Danny, that we changed. They do this... I'm sorry, brother. They do the same thing to me, too. Oh, I know. You and I are the fucking scapegoats. You and I are the scapegoats.

I didn't even talk about no more because they're embarrassed because we weren't supposed to be around. We were not supposed to be around. And it's funny how, you know, Danny, we've changed. We used to, you know, we had a funny conversation yesterday about selling weed, you and I, how for 20 years we sold everything

and now that weed is legal, we want to do something else. What the fuck? We should be selling weed now. Now it's legal. It was easy. It was hard before. Well, how about this? A Beyonculo bar.

Danny Beyonculo. Fuckin' night. Danny Beyonculo bar. It's heavy. It's 30 grams. It's 300 grams of reefer, eight grams of protein and two grams of blow, wrapped up in a bazooka,

for that last fucking edge. Fuck your fucking energy drink and all that bullshit. But you know what, Danny, every time I see you and I look in your eyes and I hug you and I, you know, we changed. We have families now. We have a wife, you know, we don't stay up all night.

We don't give a fuck of what's going on. But the one thing is we really didn't change, Danny. You and I really didn't change. We could still fucking flip that switch in the middle of a fucking, but we didn't change our values, Danny. You never... I'm from North Bergen just like you.

We never went out of our way to be fucking cool. We just knew that when we walked in the room, you had to suck our dick. That's just the way it works out in my life. You know, confidence. Yeah, I still do that. I walk into the room. I don't give a fuck.

You know, I want you to like me, but if you don't, I don't give a fuck. You're not gonna hurt my feelings. You know, I'd like to get along with as many people as possible, but you know what? It's not the case. So I walk into a room like I own a place, you know,

and that's just me. I've always done that. And same with you, man. No matter where you were in life, balls on your feet, you know, broke, whatever, you always walked around. See, it's not what you have. It's what they think you have in life.

So you've got to carry yourself with confidence because if you do that, eventually shit comes your way. I mean, you're a perfect example. I'm a perfect example. And it's only a handful of guys like us in that whole area, Copes, that... I go back there. I saw the crew in January.

You know, we did okay. That's all I'll say without pointing fingers and saying, go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself, go fuck yourself. We did okay. It's funny how I'm not a lot of the things I used to be, but I'm still that core person and I'm proud of it. I don't know.

You know, last week, two weeks ago, the owner of the Clippers got in trouble. It's all over the news, the chick, the fucking dude. I like to see, you know, and everybody's like, in shock, Danny, about that this... They can't believe they said it. For once, I like to put cameras or tape recorders on people's minds to see what they really fucking thought.

You know, to see what they really thought. And it's like... I know. Get it, buddy. Get it, buddy. I'm sorry. No, I just... You're right, man.

I just... I know when people are looking at me. I know deep down what they're thinking. I know they can smile and I know what they're fucking thinking 90% of the time. Hey, listen, everybody's got a bit of prejudice and in one way or the other. You know, what he said, you know, I wasn't there.

You weren't there. I mean, I don't even know that I don't give a fuck. But listen, it's part of life. It's fucking part of life. You know, people always gonna have their opinions. People are gonna say this and that, but... I thought it was the life ban. I don't know if I...

If that was necessary. Personally, I think they got a little carried away with the sanctions. But you gotta watch what you say when you're in position, Coco. You don't have to... You can walk on the stage and tell somebody to go, suck your dick and get away with it.

But Danny, Danny, if you put a tape recorder in my house, you're gonna hear the same shit you hear on the podcast. And the same with you. The same with you. You think I call my kids honey? You think I call them sweet? I might... Listen, I'm a good pound, but in my house,

I'm real, just like I am in life. My kids know. They know when daddy's got a game on, they stay the fuck away. They know when I'm in a good mood and... You know, listen, I am who I am. We don't change.

People don't... They might get a little better, but we don't change. You have your same values. You are always good people. You're always good people that got dealt a pretty rough hand in life. But again, look where you are now.

You're traveling. You got your little soldiers everywhere. Just happy to... I've seen their faces. They love you. I love them. I love them, Danny. I've seen it.

I've seen it firsthand many times. And it's such... And I'm so happy when I see... Listen, you've always been funny. To see you on stage, it's something I've seen my whole life. I've just been on, you know. But these guys,

when I see how they embrace you, that makes me happy. Because you're getting the love that you really never had. You know, your mom loved you, obviously, but you had a rough life. And... But, you know, you never change.

You're still who you are. Now, I'm surrounded. Except for the flying Jew and people I've handpicked that have come into my life out here. I am surrounded with people that I see them, and I drive home and I go,

how do these people live with themselves? Because 80% of what they put out is just bullshit. 80%. I'll tell you what. I'm walking around. I put out 10% bullshit. Maybe I don't know about something.

Maybe I have no knowledge. I'm speaking fucking... I don't know what the word is. Negligently about something. But I'm not claiming to be the smartest guy in the world. What you see is what you see. I don't even know how half these people in LA could live with themselves.

They must cry themselves to sleep every night. Praying and hoping nobody really sees the real them. I don't give a fuck. I want people to see the real me. Because if you don't get something from... Listen, we grew up with some fucked up people. But I took little things from them. As fucked up as...

Mike Ronnie is one of the most fucked up people I ever had around my life. But he came into my life at the perfect time because he showed me that he didn't give a fuck. Right. And that nothing matters if you don't give a fuck. Nothing really changes. People get to know that you don't give a fuck.

And either the people that don't give a fuck come to you. The people that are worried about what people have to say. They stay clear of you. It's like my comedy career, bro. I don't get invited to do nothing, Danny. Danny, it's hilarious. And I sit back and I tell the flying Jew, I'll call the flying Jew and go watch this.

They're not going to ask me if they're going to do this. And Danny, it's hysterical. And I don't know. And it's for many reasons. One, because, yeah, I kidnapped the motherfucker and put him in the trunk of a car. That always scares certain people. Two, I told some motherfucker here,

like people are still mad at me in the industry. Because I went to a wake, Danny, and somebody was there who used to torture this person in their real life. And I raised my hand for this person and told him to get the fuck out. That's why people are mad at me because I told the truth. Well, the truth hurts, brother man.

The truth hurts. I'm so honest with you that it hurts at times. But it is the way it is. I'm the, you know, people can't handle. They can't handle the truth. They really can't. And that's so true. They really fucking can.

These fucking mutts out here, you know, they'll do shit to look. I mean, I have so many people that come up to me and hug me and it's like they're all judices. I could feel the Judas hug and I just laugh. Because I know that someday they're going to have to suck my dick. Like at the end of the war pigs,

when Jesus laughing spreads his, Satan laughing spreads his wings. Every time I hear that line, I'm not a big Satan guy, but I like that fucking line because at the end you're going to suck my fucking dick. Because if I know you're a Judas, I'll play you along. I'll play you along. I'll play that Judas ham.

And then it's, you know, it makes me think like these people all undercover cops. They all live their life like undercover fucking cops because you don't know who the fuck they are. I'm so proud. I went to jail. I'm so proud. I turned out to be a comic.

I'm so proud. I have faults. I'm so proud I used to pick my face when I was coked up to fucking because I hated myself. That's why I got scars. I hated myself. But I'm so proud that I am who the fuck I am. I am so fucking proud of that.

All these books on parenting and all these fucking Gentiles with their bullshit and their kids. And you know what? Your kids grew up to be fucking holograms of a human fucking being. They're going to grow up to have a goatee, a Sinatra hat, a fucking Prius,

a fucking Chihuahua, a fucking tattoo, a Starbucks, and texting to their friends about gluten. That's what they're all going to fucking be and they're proud with themselves. You're fucking... You're killing me, brother.

Me? I'd rather be me or you or the flying fucking Jew. Salute the flag, motherfuckers. Hey, listen, man. You know what? The worst of friends is a family. My family, especially, you know,

there's a handful of them. You know, I feel how I feel about James and Greg, but take them out of the equation. They're all haters. You know, I... My wife, you know, they're jealous about my wife because she comes from a rough background. Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh.

Phillipsburg, you know. Phillipsburg, you know, it's a poor town and she's got the big house. Her family's jealous. And I don't even have... We have four people that I... That's all that matters to me right here in this house because that's all that really cares.

That's all that really matters. I have no relationship with anybody in my family other than what's in this house really, Coco. It's because they're envious. Why, you see, how did he get out of this? You know what? Because I never took fucking no for an answer. And I went to jail.

You know what? You're right. I'm glad I went to jail. I'm blessed that I went to jail. These motherfuckers... They've saved my life. Half of these motherfuckers belong in jail for fucking being faggots. For fuck...

They should all fucking go to jail for walking around and not being themselves. I think that's the biggest felony you could be is being a fucking fake. That's the biggest felony in life. If I was a cop, I'd just arrest motherfuckers for being fake motherfuckers, man. It drives me crazy.

You know what? I love Coco. You know, we got this little, uh, kind of social club, whatever. It's a nice little joint Thursday night. You got all these wannabes, the real estate guys, trying to close people. You know, they hate these fucking business guys that make fucking 80 grand here

and they walk around like they're hot shit, always talking business, always fucking marketing. There are the fakers ones out there. You know what? You got me going, man. You got me fucking going. It's Monday. Now I'm on a mission.

That's what I'm supposed to fucking do. It's Monday. If you could do anything today, stop being a fucking fake. Rip that fucking goatee off your face and take that Sinatra hat and throw it away. Take your dick out and go, fuck it.

I'm slinging dick. Fuck whatever. Let the pieces fall with the fuck they made, dog. So that's what I do. You know, that's how I can carry myself. I don't really give a fuck. You know, I know who I am. I know my morals.

I know I'm the same guy that I was years ago. I was always kindhearted. I just, you know, got wise and I kind of blocked out a lot of shit. You have to. You have to block it out. I've lost more fucking friends the last two years that I've had.

But they're all friends from out here, which they come and fucking go. You know, you call these people and they do it. And it's just hilarious to me. It's just, I see, I hear, like when I go to towns, people come up to me and go, hey man, is that, I was telling Lee last night

that people go, oh man, that guy's really cool. But I see, you know, you have to see people what the fuck they are. These people get confused by all the words that come out of your mouth. And not people's actions. They don't. And that's why I come on this podcast

and I've opened myself up. I've opened it up to let people know. These bitches that are talking to you, they're talking to you from a million dollar fucking house. They're talking to you from a million dollar house, telling you about fucking life. I'm telling you, I still live in a fucking two bedroom that I rent and I'm still,

and I love it because I'm still in the fucking heart of the game, man. I'm in the heart of the fucking game. You know what, though? Well, you know, life's simple that way. We have the big house and all that, but we don't need it. Me and my family would be just as happy in a three bedroom, anywhere, USA,

as long as we're together. And I have to work still. I have it good. I have it better than most, but I have to work. I have to wake up every day just like you. And you'll probably want the hardest work in comics out. Every Thursday on the fucking road, tweeting, doing this, writing, you go home, you do comedy.

I mean, who does it harder than you? Nobody. I never want to, I never want to sit here and cry. I'm sick and tired of listening to America cry and people cry. Everybody cries when you have an opportunity to jump on. Well, I don't really want to work 70 hours. I have a family. Fuck you and your fucking family.

You're not going to have a fucking family if you don't fucking work and go out there. Well, I want to be a good human being. I want to have time for life. What fucking life? What life? What life? I don't have it.

You think so. When I got guys that worked for me, you know, they're on football, baseball, they help out, and then they want to go see their kids play baseball on Saturday. They, you know, that's great and everything. I haven't had a Saturday or a Sunday to myself since 19, since I was in jail. That was it.

And I've been working every Saturday, Sunday, holidays, because I have to take care of mine. So when I got guys that come to me, so I'd like to go see my kids, well, go ahead, but just don't come fucking back. Because the day I can leave to go watch my kid play, then you can do it. You know what I'm saying, Culver?

Don't worry. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to fucking die. I say it all the fucking time. Every day I say that. I don't know how these fucking people expect to do anything in their fucking lives, because everybody wants to do this, this, and this, and this,

but nobody wants to jump into the fucking waters. Everybody wants to do it for my fucking, and I see it all the time. Me and we talk about it. Like, I'll call you and go leave. Did you see what happened? I don't know, you know, look at this guy. We gave him this three-month, nothing.

He hasn't done a fucking... This is the same guy that'll call you and cry or put you... Well, I don't have time to be on the computer all day, but you got time to fucking cry. You got time to live your life how you've been living it, you know? Yeah, you know.

And then you get mad at other people. You got to work it, bro. You've done it. You know, nobody gave you jack shit. You know, they've seen you on TV. They've seen you with Adam Sandler. Guess what? You still got to work your ass off, you know?

That's fucking... That's the way it is. And Danny, I wish they would have seen me before Adam Sandler. I wish there was... I wish there was a way God could send me a clip of when I lived with Ferney in 1983. Ferney, Ferney?

Oh, my God, I miss him. I miss Ferney, I haven't seen... Ferney's a good man. I would get up, I would... Ferney would work and I would leave his house at 8.30. I would go to your charities and I would get breakfast on the arm, whatever it was, $6, $3 eggs, bacon, toast.

And I would ask Mr. Charlie for a $20 advance. I wouldn't even pay for breakfast. I'd go, can I get $20 a draw? Can you imagine that? Going to eat breakfast and asking the waiter to give you $20 and putting your fucking... So he would make me sign the $20, the $6 breakfast. I'd give him a $10 tip and I'd say,

I'll be back here by five to give you $36. And with that $20, I had to go out and figure it out. So I had to take a number one bus downtown and go around the old neighborhood and see who was dealing drugs, who left the window open, you know? People have no fucking idea. They're 22 hillside.

I remember taking that bus. You know, that's true to a lot of people fucking... Oh man, we can talk all day. You can talk about some of these people. At Charlie, you said, that's a name that... I saw Mikey at Charlie a couple of years ago in Hoboken. He owns a bunch of clubs down there.

I don't know if you... Yeah, no, no, I don't know all about those guys. But it's the fucking... Think of these people. Think of you had a video of your life from 1987 when I was bringing guns to you and you were giving me powder back to take back to Colorado when I get to your house.

And we think about if these people really saw that shit. You know, a lot of people get mad at me, Danny. And they go, oh, you bring people up from your past and these kids you grew up with that you're living in your past. You know when I do this, you fucking jerk off to show you that I'm not bullshitting you, motherfuckers. How many other fucking podcast people could put people on from their high school

to tell you motherfuckers at home how they really were in high school? How many? How many of these fucking dudes that come on the podcast and act like Johnny Banana could really call their friends from high school and grandma's school and say, tell these motherfuckers what they don't know. That's why I have these fucking savages on.

You fucking cock-suckers. Sorry about that, Danny. Well, you know what? Yeah, that's okay. Get biblical. You have everybody to your show. No, but you're right. They don't know.

They don't know. I have a footage, stored footage in my mind of many nights with you, with Rousseau, Clark, Harry, my brother. And you're right. It is a fucking movie. You know what? If somebody was to fucking film us all night long from nine o'clock at night to the two o'clock stage,

four o'clock in the morning, seven o'clock, peeking out the windows, running around, getting in the cab, go to New York, robbing somebody. Come on. You know, it was fucking bizarre. Robbing somebody, coming right back in the party. I remember Joey fucking, what's the name? Chickarelli.

Joey Chickarelli. You fucking, I don't know where we call them Inspector Gadget. He looked like fucking Inspector Gadget. This fucking motherfucker would jump in the cab at seven o'clock in the morning, go rob fucking, come back with 50 or 60 vials of crack, fucking blood all over them. And you know, they wanted it and they got it. But yeah, I mean, I don't know how I get to Chickarelli

that day. Let me tell you something. It was fucking crazy times, man. Crazy times. No, they wouldn't believe it. They wouldn't believe it. And that's why I put you on. That's why I put Timmy Holloway on.

And anybody else that calls me and go, I want to come on. I want to show you people where I am now and where I was then. So you motherfuckers know you could do this. This is all bullshit that they try to put fear in your hearts and you can't turn your life. Fuck. Oh, how to turn your life around. Send me 995 a month.

Go fuck yourself. You grab your balls. You got a knife. You make a fucking plan and you get out there and do it, motherfucker. Well, here you go. Eight months, 2004. Jamie's eight months pregnant.

I'm worth millions of dollars. Life is going fucking smooth. It's like I used to drive around waiting for something bad to happen. You have to. You have to. Then I fucking remember the knock on the door. April 8, 2004.

James Schmidt upstairs. I'm thinking that they fucking, that he did something with the rent the car I got. And Jamie's like, the cops are at the door. I'm like, the cops. I said, what the fuck did he do? Hope he didn't do anything with that call last night. Open up the door.

There's guns to my head. Fucking mass, seven different agencies there. Fucking stripped all the money out of my account. You know, lost everything. Everything that I worked hard for for 10 years after I got it. Did I give up? No. I didn't give up.

I did my six months of house arrest, my probation. I got back in the game and I made my fucking millions back. And I lost some along the way. But I got right back on my horse, Coke. So all the guys, oh, he made millions. He made this. You know what? And I paid the fucking price along the way, too.

But ultimately, my ultimate reward was what I got now. And you never, ever, ever sold your soul like these motherfuckers. Fuck no. That's the other thing. What about that dude that was tweeting us, talking about, oh, your friends with Danny. He did time. What did you do?

You suck the dick. And I'm supposed to take your word for granted with that sperm breath. Get the fuck out of my face, you fucking cocksucker. Oh, dude, not for nothing. That guy was a nut. Oh, they were all a nut. I get them.

Danny, I get people fucking hitting me once a day. I wake up sometimes to emails that are horrible when I laugh. Because you thought about this all night. You thought about this all night to write me to call me a fat fucking felon. Who gives? I'm proud that I'm a fucking felon. I don't give a fuck.

You know what I said? Fuck you. How many times and how many times were you in a movie with Bobby fucking DaNarrow? Sylvester Stallone. Adam said, so how can anybody have anything negative to say about you? You're the most fucking guy.

No, they have to. They have to. Listen, it's in your nature, brother. It's fucking crazy. It's in your nature. And I don't even give a fuck about the DaNarrow or Stallone shit. That doesn't make me a man.

I'm fucking angry. What makes me a fucking man, Danny, is the journey. And that's what people understand. That's what people don't understand is the journey and how you hold yourself up as a fucking man. You know what? I never sold my soul. You know what?

I did my time. They came to me and said, if you roll on this guy and ask him, we'll take fucking. I don't even know that mentality. I'll take my chance. I didn't do nothing. There's no fingerprints. The dude was in a trunk of a car and I wasn't there.

Who gives a fuck? You want to do something to me? In fact, I called him last night. I called Vella last night and left him a message. I love Ken Vella. I really do. I'm sorry about that day, but it just goes to show you sometimes life duplicates movies.

We make mistakes. We make mistakes. Sometimes. We all, you know what though? But that's the thing. Dignity, man. I got in trouble. Samuel, I could have rolled on people.

I could have took down Frank Jumper and all of those fucking guys that they wanted me to roll on. And that knocked on the date. Fuck that. Fuck that. You know what? If I didn't go to prison, I would have been dead anyway. Speaking of prison, what are we here

from Gary? We don't hear nothing. I've been getting emails about Gary. I got an email about Gary once a week. Well, you know what? We haven't had no contact, any of us. I think the last letter came in last, right around Christmas time.

He's got to finish his first sentence, which I think was another three and a half years. And I don't know if they convicted him yet on the other crime, the last bank robbery, but it doesn't look good for the home team, Coke. He's probably going to. And I think that's where he won. No, that's where he wanted to be.

That's where he wanted to be. I think that we wanted it more than he did. He came out, he was overwhelmed. He saw what I have. My cousin Michael does okay. And he was like, he felt out of place here. He felt like I don't belong here. He spent 20 years his whole adult life.

He was never right in the head to begin with. So I feel that ultimately he wanted to, because all he kept saying is I just want to go to the beach. I'm like, was that your goal when you got out of jail to go? The first day he got out that I saw him anyway, he was telling me he wanted to take down some fucking drug lord, break him out of a federal prison in Tennessee that there's a $30 million reward on him.

I'm like, so this guy's got to hold that money and they pick you. You had all the people that they could approach him prison to break the guy. So I said, so what's the plan? He goes, well, he's, he's on a chemo. So we're going to find out when his doctor hours are and we're going to intercept them. I said, so we're going to, how are we going to do this?

So I'm just playing along. So I'm going to write out the door coke that he did. So I said, let's go. Let's go get you a good lunch because I figured that might be his last. So I kind of knew out the door that Gary, he didn't have long for, uh, you know, his time, you know, and what do you make it six months?

If that, I think that's about it. He made about six months. How's baseball season treating you? Baseball, you know what? I had a good one last week. I got some manners slapped on me. It happens. I had a bad run last week.

We snapped out of it a little bit, but hit and miss. It's been a tough playoff. So the second round has been better than the first round. First round was fucking crazy at dogs, dogs and dogs, but baseball is baseball. It's a long season ups and down. And I think we're like four or five games over 500 for the year. It's not, we're not lightening it up.

We're not getting hurt, but it's a series of runs, man. It's just, it's not easy. I'm dealing with a lot of good guys now. So I'm not working, but yeah, baseball is baseball. We do well. I'm fucking hoping the Mets win a fucking World Series here sometimes soon, but not only knows. So what else is up with you, brother?

Are the Mets any good? You know, I'm always a Mets. I'm fucking, I always remember. You remember Jose Canonico? Yeah, with the thick glasses. Yeah, yeah, tough kid. Yeah, he told me some blue for a long time. I'm up at hashways fucking getting some fucking booze

and whatever, milk or whatever. I'm gone long of it and I'm supposed to be. I fucking come back. My mother's like, yeah, Canonico was just here. I'm like, Canonico, he owes me the money. He goes, she goes, no, she was going to take you to game six of the World Series. So, uh, yeah, the Mets getting back to the Mets. Last time they did anything productive was 86.

But yeah, speaking of Canonico, yeah, he had tickets for game six and I just wasn't home. Probably was a snort with Hashway and miss fucking game six because of that. But the Mets Yankees, man, I don't know. I had Tori on my show. That was pretty cool. Had a chance to talk to Mike Tori. He's a good old boy.

Jason Abramowitz is pretty good friends with him. They came to the shows in Florida. They brought Tori with them. Oh, really? Yeah, nice guy. Very nice guy. Good dude, man. Very nice.

You know, it was shocking. Very shocking how nice and genuine he was and, you know, had a good time. We got pretty hammered. I went out to that baseball dinner. That was a nice experience, man. If anybody out there, if you like your baseball, anybody can buy a general ticket. You go to that baseball writers thing in New York Cocoa. It's wonderful.

You get all the celebrities there, all the baseball great Hank Aaron made me cry. You know, it's just a nice time, man. But, you know, I've always loved baseball, Cocoa. That's my passion. You and all the boys, you used to go to Shea Stadium and fucking Yankee Stadium and bring 20 people with you. Danny, where can they find you? Be wins still?

I don't even know my shit number. On Twitter, it's Danny wins for you or something like that. I mean, I don't know how to talk about it. Danny be wins. And then, uh, you offering any plans this week for baseball? Yeah, you know, I just got my regular stuff. I'm kind of like, you know what, Cocoa, I'm not really pushing much right now. I'm just doing my thing, you know, and this is the time of year.

They can go to my website, Danny wins for you.com. Check it out. But I'm not really pushing much. I'm making some changes. That's why I'm in the process of, uh, getting a website with like five or six good handicappers and just kind of being the pitch man for, I'm getting barked out with this. I want to take a different, I want to find some, some time for myself

because I, you know, I'm getting up there. And, uh, so I'm thinking about networking where I get a website and I recruit five or six top guys in the, in the business. And, you know, just, just trying to do something a little different, something like to, to shake it up a little bit. Cause I'm a radio guy, Coke, but I'm missing all of this fucking internet shit. Guys are making two or three hundred thousand dollars a month selling fucking chicks on the internet.

It's crazy. We got to figure something out. I love you, cocksucker. We'll call talk again this week. I just want to talk to you about manhood and what the fuck we've put together and how you're one of the few guys you, Jimmy Valano couple guys. You see these guys and they're still fucking men. I got to come out here and deal with these fucking

fucking men. Yeah, you've been promising. Stay up, stay with me. We'll go down in the stands. Have a good time. And that would be nice. I missed Jimmy Valano. He was a standup guy.

I haven't seen Jimmy in 25 or 30 years. I grew up a lot of good people and I'm surrounded with these fucking soul fucking salesmen. I love you, cocksucker. Stay black. Yeah, you, thanks for having me, man. Always. I just wanted to talk to you.

I had a good time with you yesterday. I love you, cocksucker. Yes, I got you, bro. Give the wife and kid a kiss and all that stuff. We take care. Thanks for having me, my friends. Love you. Make it a good day.

You too, buddy. Thank you for the balls today. That's how the fuck we do it, Leigh. I'm just getting sick and tired of these fake motherfuckers, Leigh. I'm so high. I picture that entire conversation, like you were in like an old Italian restaurant both wearing like wife beaters

and you had to be getting me balls and it's flying the entire time. Fuck it. Jimmy, I got good jeans. It's fucking Monday, motherfuckers. I'm not going to let you go out there half fucked up. You got to go out there with some nuts. Tell these motherfuckers to suck your dick

you got a dream and it's bigger than that fucking dream. Let me give some shout outs to my main man, Andy Huggie Bear Allen. Keep fucking fighting, you bad motherfucker. Noah Zark. What? Simon Patau. Sandman, I love you.

Tracy, stay in the fight and Billy Anderson, you're a bad motherfucker. You understand me? Talking about bad motherfuckers. I went on Stacey and I mixed the Matt Brown fight and then I came out all on Twitter and then last night I got home and it was on. I taped it.

I taped it yesterday and I watched it two fucking times. You know, I'm going to call Matt Brown today. He's got to be on the show Wednesday but I'm going to try my hardest to get him on because I cried when I watched that. I cried over the patience. I cried over the balls. I cried over his never say die fucking attitude.

And when I see that, I know that I'm on to the right thing. There's still people that have that. You don't have to fucking kill me to take me out. It's like me with comedy. I don't give a fuck no more about these people. I'm going for it, Billy. I'm going for it. Do it.

I'm done. I'm done with these motherfuckers. You know, so that's it. That's why today's podcast is a little on the powerful side. I'm a little sick and tired. And I know people at home, sometimes you get sick and tired of shit. It's time to fucking pick it up. If these motherfuckers don't give you the respect

and the love you deserve as a human being, that you're a nice person, then you got to go back to basics and take it from them. And that's the old fashioned way. So we're going for it with the church. I'm just letting you motherfuckers know. Let's start with our fucking sponsor. Hey, wait, wait, we're talking about Matt Brown here.

What the fuck was it again? What the fuck dude? The fuck dude. No, that was tremendous. And the kid's silver. My heart goes out to him because he took 80 fucking knees to the head. He never went down towards the end. You had to go down.

I mean, that kid's got to have eight today. That kid can't think straight. He's not going to think straight for a week. It's a shame, but silver put his heart out there. I never heard of him before. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's been around and he's one of these guys that he's fucking great.

I mean, those liver kicks, and he kept getting them with him. Those stomach kicks. Oh, yeah. He's great with his fucking legs. He's, his jiu-jitsu is great. It just wasn't great enough for Matt Brown. So Matt Brown's a soldier, but fucking Eric Silver. I give him my heart too, man.

That was a great fight. You know, the UFC has some fucked up fights coming on, but that one was good. That one was really fucking good. And it just, now you know why I had him on the podcast. You know, let's talk about something that I, I have a lot of fear in my daily life. And sometimes I get intimidated,

but sometimes I get intimidated and I go, what the fuck is wrong with me? Fuck this motherfucker. I bumped into Matt Brown elevator once. I never shit my pants that much. His energy is real. Like his energy is intense and it leaks out of his pores. But I know people who are intense for wrong reasons.

He's intense for all the fucking right reasons, because the energy goes somewhere. It goes into his gloves, which gets punched into your fucking head. You know what I'm saying? A lot of people have that weird energy, but they can't do nothing with it. He lets it go.

And he boils it up at the end. He brought his fucking twin boys up there. I mean, I love Matt Brown. And I thought he called out everybody. I thought he was gonna call out Johnny Hendrix, his barber. You know, this guy, that guy. Fuck it. Yeah, when you, you know,

when you're on that much of a row, you just start calling motherfuckers out. The barber, the guy who trims his beard. That was seven in a row, right? Seven in a row. Wow. What the fuck is going on? Who's going to have to put the soundproofing in the window?

But it's okay. I didn't know they have construction now. Every fucking place we go to early in the morning got some fucking dilemma. Now I got the construction brothers next to me. What the fuck? Anyway, I was having a hard time sleeping on the road. I have a hard time.

I had a hard time sleeping last week. My sleep comes and goes. I'm tired in the daytime. Sometimes I drink green tea at night. And it keeps me up even after I fall asleep. Like I fall asleep from being tired. But the green tea, the caffeine stays in me and shit. And I didn't even know what the fuck I was doing.

So I got home yesterday and I wasn't jet lagged. The fucking flight I flew back from Santa Fe from was one of those Wright brother planes, those little La Bamba planes. Oh, you were hating even? Oh my God. I put my iPod on. I closed my eyes and put the fucking hooded sweatshirt

over my head and I just cried. That's all I could do on those La Bamba flights because you think the fucking, and some about Santa Fe that I don't want to forget that I had a really good time was the guy who read the play, Zach. Okay. I deal with a lot of fucking managers,

a lot of people in the business. This guy was the top of his game. And when I tell you, this young man was at the top of his fucking game. I don't know what his last name was. I just know him as Zach. I know he's half Spanish. He's one of the elders on the tribe.

What made him so great? His positiveness, his how good he was as a manager reflected how good he was as a leader. I could see how people respected him. He was on the money with us from A to Z. There was no stone. Anything we wanted, we could have had.

I mean, anything, anything. It was just a matter of time. You know, he was that much. The food I had in Santa Fe, New Mexico at that casino was so fucking good. What do you have? Like authentic Mexican food from the Southwest, like that part,

because there's different styles of Mexican food by region, especially in this country. There's the Colorado, Denver, New Mexico style with the green chili. There's the stuff you get here in San Diego, and then there's the stuff you eat in Mexico, you know? But this, you know, and every, every, when you go to Chicago, their tacos are different.

You know, the highest concentration of Mexican people are not the Southwest. It's above Michigan. Really? Yeah. Michigan has one of the highest concentrations of Mexican people. When I do shows out there,

Latino Fest and shit like that, the food was outrageous, but none of the Mexican food I love, because I was in Colorado 15 years, so it's all green chili based. And I fucking love it. And then you have the Tex-Mex. You know, that's, I'm sorry,

you have the Tex-Mex, which will be fucking tearing down this fucking week. Oh, shit. With papacitos and all the fucking joints. I got another buddy taking us to a more authentic place. We're going to pop a dose. We're going down, baby. You know, we won't have a time to go to two weeks.

We just don't have that much in us. Right. And I'm not going to be smoking weed till Saturday, so the appetite will not be there. I'm going to get somebody to stand on line for us while we go get some medibles. I'm going to get some barbecue. You'll be in medibles from midnight.

You'll be on probation medibles. After this week, you get your strike back. Oh, God. After this Monday, you get your strike back. But what I was trying to say was, with all the sleeping and all that shit, when I came home yesterday, I was sitting there a little confused.

I knew I had the baby in the afternoon. I knew I had to do things with the family. And I took an audit, turned around 180. And let me tell you something, guys. My day was fucking made. Honor just keeps getting better and better and better with their products. I went on their web page last night.

I mean, every time I go on their web page, I learn something. I read about something. There's something on there that I could be using. Maybe it's not the alpha brain. Maybe it's the digestive enzymes. Maybe it's their kettlebells, the plain ones. You don't even have to get the other ones.

They have plain ones for you. And if you look at weight, it's not a bad deal because you have to ship them. Honor has so many good things for you. So many healthy things for you. You know, my knees hurt. I take the strong bone. You know, it has so many fucking things for you, man.

Go to honor.com. Go to honor.com. See what they have. Start with the alpha brain. You're having trouble when you're running. You're having trouble with your jiu-jitsu. You're having trouble with basketball. You're in a league.

You don't think you have the endurance. Try the shroom tech sport. Just try it. Go to honor.com. Press what? Church. Church. Go to honor.com or go to joeydears.net

and go to my box. Press church and then order what the fuck you want. Get 10% off. You put on the list and you're part of the honor family. Try everything. It's got a money back guarantee. Go to honor.com. Also, Dollar Shave Club.

Did you see how many things we got on Twitter this week that people could receive with Dollar Shave Club? One guy got a pin for being there for fucking forever. Let me tell you something. Dollar Shave Club people, you do what the fuck you want. You want to keep fucking getting fucked up razors and all of it. Go, go. Be my hero.

I'm trying to save you some githas. I'm trying to give you more money so you can smoke a reefer at the fucking end of the week. I'm trying to save you a couple fucking dollars. $1, $6 or $9 is all the packages cost. And they get delivered to your house. No gas, no paperwork, no nothing, no phone calls. They'll send you an email to let you know it's coming

so you can look out for it. You get your razors sent to your house, whether you order warm white Charlie's or the shaving butter, that's your prerogative. All I want you to do is try the Dollar Shave Club. Go to Dollar Shave. Go to joydears.net. Go to Dollar Shave Club box.

Press church. Then pick the option you want. $1 gets you four blades a month. It's two, I think it's two, three, and four. Four. So guys, you cannot fucking lose. I live with this shit every fucking day. I love it.

I take it on the road with me. I love it. The handle is tough. It's strong. Dollar Shave Club. Go to joydears.net. Go to Dollar Shave Club. Press what?

Church. And be a part of this shit. I get tweets every day. Go on my wall. You can look for yourself. People always. Thank you for the patch and the fucking leather. And thank you for Dollar Shave Club.

Well, thank you for Hulu Plus. I ain't fucking around either when it comes to Hulu Plus. Two weeks for free. I'm talking about tremendous fucking movies. I even had to write them down, because I can't believe it sometimes, from fucking modern family. I mean, just the dramas, Revenge, The Sleepy Hollow, Nashville, Castle, Chicago Fire, fucking kid's show,

SpongeBob, Sam and Cat, fucking comedy, modern family, Siamite Live, South Park, The Colbert Report, Bobby Burgers, Riala, you got Shark Tank, Kitchen Fucking Nightmares, Marvel's Agents of Shield, you got documentaries, you got fucking sports, you got Latino. Enough. You got animation.

Go. Go now. HuluPlus.com. What are you pressing the box? You press Joey. Joey, J-O-E-Y. You get two weeks gratis, two weeks on the arm, two weeks for free.

Try it out. Fucking sit there till your ass grows roots. Watch everything. Tell me it's not worth $7.99 a month after that. And I'll tell you to suck my dick and call me shorty. I was born in 1940. Go to HuluPlus right now. Why fuck around?

What's the fucking code? Joey. Joey, get two weeks on the arm. You can see everything. All the shows I fucking told you, right? Also, to my brothers at escapepodtank.com, make it a fucking happen. What they did was they got the Just Tank.

And they're going to give you, what the fuck they're going to give you? $250, OK? Just off, no, $150 off the Just the Tank model. Go to fucking. Escapepodtank.com. Go to their web page. Read what they have to offer you.

You got a question? Go to 1-800-LINE. Call Jeremy. Direct Jeremy. I'm thinking about this fucking isolation tank. You know, eps and salt. What? Talk to fucking a guy.

You thought about it. You go float around with these tubs, with these people that whack off in there. And now you got a soak and eps and salt and somebody's sperm sticks to your fucking neck. You don't need that shit. Do this in your house. You don't have to get fucked in somebody's fungus.

Call Jeremy. 1-800. Go to fucking escapepodtank.com. Just for mentioning us. Let me put it this way. The tanks, they have a high quality, tremendous. Now, if you go to any of the tank companies, and you look at what they got to offer you,

you're going to save $2,000 to $3,000 with Escapepod Tank. What they're going to do for you today, and every fucking day, is when you go, just look at the Just the Tank model. They're going to give you $150 off that alone. If you mention the church, Joey Diaz, Joey's balls, Lee's ass hole, the Israeli flag. Booyah!

You get $250 off. They'll deliver to your house. It's going to cost you extra dough. If you want them to come out and fucking install it, you could. You could have somebody locally install it. Whatever you do, go for Escapepod Tank. What I do with you, these are not sponsors.

I'm trying to save you motherfuckers money. All right? Get your shit together. Escapepodtank.com. On it. Hulu fucking plus. And what's the dollar shape? Dollar shape little, I'm sorry.

I got a little fucking confused. So what did you learn today? You know what we learned today? Who the fuck are you? Who the fuck are you? 80% of you. You fucking bullshitting yourself, and trying to bullshit the fucking people around you

by getting... I got a tattoo. Look at me. I'm cool. Cool. What the fuck? What is the word fucking cool? When I was a kid, it was a fucking...

The big thing was to be a fucking man, to sling dick with three hands. What's this? That's cool. What the fuck is wrong with you? You fucking maggots. This is America. Get it together, cock-suckers.

What else, Lee? What do you got? I mean, why live with yourself if you're a fucking phony? How can you live with yourself? You got to be scared. Then I find out I'm weak. I don't know the fuck. Just be yourself.

If they don't like it, I'm the sucky dick. Who gives a fuck? That's what the church is all about. Telling people to suck your dick, and doing what the fuck you want. I'm not going to show up here with these guests. They're better than you. I don't need that shit.

Nobody's fucking better than you people. You people are better than half these motherfuckers on these podcasts, trying to talk down to you. Meanwhile, they're sitting there, fucking million-dollar homes, fending their dicks. What the fuck do they know about the struggle? What the fuck do they know about fear? Or fucking having fucking addictions or having problems?

That's what puts us together as this fucking army that we are. We're the big dick army of this fucking country. What, Lee motherfucker? What'd you say, cock sucker? Nothing. There's nothing I can follow that up with. I like big dick army, though. You like that?

The big dick army. And it's not having a big dick. It's having a lot of fucking heart and balls, you know what I'm saying? Like Matt Brown and Sylvain. What's up, Lee? What are your plans for the day? You done for the day? No, I got Rick Ramos tonight.

What movies are you talking about? I don't know. He changed it up. I have to call him. He had a couple options. But I saw a movie over the weekend. I saw that New Neighbors one. What'd you think, brother?

It was actually pretty funny. Funny, funny. It was actually pretty funny. It's not, but we talk about it a lot. Where it's funny, he, he, ha, ha, but it won't stand up. I won't watch it in five years, but for that one, for that two hours in the movie theater, yeah, it was pretty good. Listen, you go to a movie for it to take you away.

That's why I don't, I always tell you, I can't go to the movies in the daytime because I'm not taking away. Yeah. I'm focusing on, I should be doing something constructive. I should, movies for me, and like I said, I got two, three hours and it takes you away for two, three hours. The best thing is when you go to a movie and it's fucking great.

Yeah. It's great. You forgot about why the fuck you went in. The worst thing is when a movie's so bad, you feel worse than you did when you went in there. Yeah. And that's what happens to me, fucking six out of 10 times I go to the fucking movies

and I try, try to watch the other shit. You know what I'm saying? But what else did you do this week? You saw The Girlfriend. Saw The Girlfriend last night. You liked the porto. What kind of cake did they give you? Trace Leche's.

That's what her mom makes. Trace Leche's. What does it taste like? Trace Leche's? It's pretty good. I haven't had it that much, but it's kind of weird. Look, you know, because they soak it in milk. I don't know how they get the milk in there.

It's like evaporated milk. Evaporated milk. You like it? But it was pretty, it's fucking sweet. But yeah, it was good. And it's, I can't tell you how important it is for guys out there and what a difference it makes when a girl's parents like you. Like, how important is it for you?

Because I'm, were Terry's parents cool with you from the beginning? Or how did that process go? Listen, man, I've never been with a woman that had parents like me from day one. I've never been like what the girl in high school had parents like me. We were 18, 16 at that age. They really don't know what you become. You know, they really don't know. Uh, it's funny because the parents I had when I got married the first time.

Yeah. The athlete. I could tell the mother liked me. The mother could see what I had gone through on my face. But the father didn't like me. I didn't blame him. You know, that's his fucking daughter. Yeah.

I was with them for two years before he reacted to me, the father. You know when he reacted to me? When? When I went to prison when I got locked up for kidnapping. I was in jail for a few days. He came to see me and he asked me what happened. I told him the truth. And he bailed me out.

He put the bail up and he told me that this is the things I had to do. He helped me a lot, Lee. I haven't spoken to Ray in 20 years, my old father-in-law. I haven't spoken to Ray since 1991, 23 years. I'm going to tell you something. There's not a week that goes by I don't think about him. And I'm going to tell you something else. There's not a week that goes by that he doesn't think about me.

That's how much we loved each other after that initial. You don't, you never know what it's going to take people to react. Yeah. Once I got locked up, he watched me like if I was one of his own sons. And I did become one of his own sons. And a couple of weeks ago, we did a thing about role models. And I should have brought him up because he really was there for me. He was the one that, he was a lieutenant crown on the Air Force.

And he had worked with young men. And I could see his disappointment from his own sons. His own sons didn't do what he wanted them to do. They became successful. They became roofers and whatnot. But he wanted them. He was a Polish immigrant, you know, and he changed. He worked hard in the service to overcome that thing of, you know,

changing light bulbs, being a Pollock, you know, many Pollocks. And he was very proud of that. And that pride rubbed off on me. You know, he was a very proud Pollock. He never made jokes about Pollocks. You know, he was very proud. And that inspired me. And I got to tell you, man, this time I go on Twitter or on Facebook

or on Google and I Google them and I don't have the balls to call. Just because I know what went on between him and his daughter after we had the divorce. And it would break my heart. I know things went on. I mean, our divorce was so strong and so painful. I know that's the part of why they moved them left. They didn't want none to do it.

They just wanted to retire and they just wanted to be out of it, you know. And someday I'll get the carrots to call them. I'll get the balls to call them and say thank you for what you did for me those three years. You taught me that I could go back to school. That's what I got from that guy. He taught me that I could go back to school, which I never believed I was good enough for college. But he was like, I was a Pollock.

And I went to the University of Buffalo and then I got my master's. This guy got his master's degree. And he didn't get, he got it to prove a point. You know, he knew full of fucking languages. My ex-wife was born in Germany. He was stationed in Germany. So he was very proud of that. And that inspired me.

That always, always inspired me. I still remember his face when he was sitting on the other side of the visitation glass. I still remember his face and what I expected him to treat me like and what he treated me like, you know. And I'm really sorry that I let him down. But this is why I do this shit every day, to be better. And this is what you do. You just get up and you're fucking someday I'll get the balls and call them.

I can't believe he's still alive. I can't believe Ray's still alive. And the mother. I can't believe they're still alive. And I feel bad about what happened between him and, you know. I mean, we went to war, man. He was scared. He was fucking scared.

He got involved in it. We were going to shoot. I mean, it was bad. And he packed up. The last time I saw him, I had to hand him his granddaughter. I used to have a visitation. I guess my ex-wife went away. Yeah.

And she was, the granddaughter was staying with him. Let me tell you something. He was a guy that was in shape. He was always in shape, but he always had a couple of drinks at night. He always had a couple of gins on the rocks. And I never saw him drunk. That day when I handed him the baby, I saw him fucking drunk. Because he couldn't handle what was going on.

I was his son, man. I had become a son. Like I became a lot of people's sons. And part of me let him down. But the other part of me didn't because I moved forward. Every day when I do this shit, I think of Ray, you know. And maybe because of the power of the church someday I'll fucking be able to call them. So we'll end it with that.

I love you motherfuckers. Me and Lee, Austin, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, the 15th through the 17th. And then Lee and I again up at the ice house, May 27th. It's a Wednesday and May 28th. I'm in San Diego at Harris. Get your tickets now. And then after that, the summer is going to be like we're staying in. We're going to add some flavor to the fucking podcast.

Wednesday will be an American flag in here. So get ready to salute the flag before the fucking podcast. We're going back to the fucking flag. We're going back. That's it. I love you guys. Don't forget we have another podcast Wednesday. If you need patches or t-shirts, go to joeydeas.net.

If you need Jew radio t-shirts, go to leeside.com. Have a great day. And I hope this podcast helped you as much as it helped me today. I love you, motherfuckers. Stay black. Now that the show is over, don't forget to sign up for your free trial of Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands if it shows. Anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tablet,

support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus. When you go to huluplus.com slash joey, or go to joeydeas.net and click on the Hulu Plus banner. And don't forget to sign up for dollarshaveclub.com. Get a high quality razor sent to your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now go to dollarshaveclub.com forward to the last church, or just go to joeydeas.net and click on the dollarshaveclub banner. And go to escapepodtank.com to get your central deprivation tank. They're already going to save you thousands,

but if you mentioned joeydeas or the church, what's happening now, they're going to save you an additional $250. So we tried to tell you something. Don't let the world bring you down. Nothing came to me in before I do myself. I'll see it for your own, and once you look around you'll know. I'll give you everything I need, I'll give you everything I own, I'll give you everything that leads me on the road,

I'll give you everything I call to blow it down and out, blow it down and blow up the outside world. Nocs Foot They obviously know where you're from, but I don't feel myself anymore. I'll show you All you know I've met a fool Traitor, I know it's mine

But it's a hell of a lie Will you know I've met a fool Born the outside, born the outside Born the outside, born the outside Born the outside, born the outside Born the inside, on the outside Born the Outside Oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir, oh, sir,

Blow the outside, blow the outside