Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #186 - Joey Diaz, Dr. Lisa Messina and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: June 11, 2014

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined by Dr. Lisa Messina. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for 50% off your first order. Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by mentioning the Church. Recorded live on 06/09/2014.

This podcast is brought to you by Onit.com. Go there for all of your nutrients and alpha brain and strong bone, anything like that. Mention the code word church. Get 10% off. This show is also sponsored by NatureBox where you can order great tasting healthy snacks right to your door. Snacks smarter in the new year with healthy and delicious treats like Santa Fe corn sticks and French toast granola. Support this podcast and get 50% off of your first order. Go to NatureBox.com, promo code Joey. That's NatureBox.com, promo code Joey. Thank you to NailedItLife.com for all the oil and wax smokers out there. For the premier vapor parent on the market, go to NailedItLife.com. Mention Joey Diaz and get 20% off. And again, thank you to EscapePodTank.com. Go there for all

of your sensory deprivation techniques. Mention Joey Diaz and even though they're already going to save you thousands, they'll save you an additional $250. Shit, fuck that cocksucker. It's a beautiful fucking day to be alive. You're alive, cocksucker. You can start all over again. It's Monday. Who gives a fuck what happened last week? So what? You suck 20 dicks. It's going to be a brand new week. You got a box of tic-tacs and you're making a comeback. Fuck it. What's happening, little brother? I'm sorry we're late today. We're going to hear fucking talking and fucking around. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Thank you very much for watching the church today. Lisa, yeah, what's happening, little brother?

I almost just died, bro. Okay, I gave him a vapor pen of debt with some Girl Scout cookies in there. Goddamn this motherfucker. Oh shit. Here's a little something for you guys on a Monday morning. Just so you don't sit there like an orphan. Delicious and nutritious little vapor. My lungs are back. I'm making a fucking comeback. What's up, dawg? What have you been? I haven't seen you. I know. It's been almost two hours. I know. We had some fucking heavy duty podcasts last couple of days. I want to thank Ms. Pat. I want to thank Al Robles. I want to thank Gabriel Glacius for making a fucking special appearance. That was huge. I've been thinking about that for a few days about Gabriel. You know, they called out of the blue and he went out of his way to come up here.

He's a guy that doesn't need to do shit. Do you understand me, people? He don't need to do shit. And there's a lot of other fucking comics that never want to do shit. And this guy's got one of the biggest things happening in his career that any comic can have in their career. Releasing a movie, a concert movie, the film. And he came up here. He ate a little piece of cookie with us. He treated it with respect. Yeah, he was very nice. And I love him to death. I really, really, really love Gabriel. I'm very proud of what's happening for him. And I love what's happening for him. And that's what it's all about. We told this camp, the story of the bloggy. A lot of people had never heard that or knew that. That

Gabriel gave me that bloggy and I had the energy from Gabriel. I want to do something good with it. And look at me and Leah still hanging out. Four years later, smoking dope. I'm still trying to kill Lee. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That vape. I don't know what happened. It just went in, like fully into my lungs. And I was fucked. And it magnified. It doubles in there a little bit sometimes. That's what they said with like Thai weed and hash. Then when you hit it, it doubled in your lungs. That's why you went fucking bananas. Oh, my God. But you're looking good. You were red. Your eyeballs are red. I loved it. His fucking eyeball looked like it was going to pop out of his head. It was like an HBO comedy special. I've never seen you laugh harder.

Oh, my God. Plus, he ate a little bit of Chibo Choo. We opened up. I want to thank Chibo Choo for putting back the fucking green horn and production. As you can see, we just ate it like a savage. It's over. Yeah. It's a fucking memory, Jack. Oh, I watched the video that I'll roll this podcast. I was pretty much asleep. And you call me the next day, like, don't worry, doggo. It's just as you were. And I was like, how were you fucking? Oh, let me tell you some of those. I forget what's so kind cookies that they sell over at Noho Organic. They're so kind. They're 200 milligrams and they have 200 milligram tap. What do you call them? Fudge. Okay. You get three pieces of fucking fudge for 10 bucks.

I guarantee one of those pieces could kill somebody. If you really wanted to kill somebody, just give them. I'm telling you, I'm not even trying to be funny. That cookie is one of the strongest fucking things out there. I don't give a fuck when everybody tells you. You're talking about the fucking man here. You're talking about, this is what I do. I'm not proud of it, but this is what the gap I fell into. If I'm going to stand behind something, I'm telling you right now, the so kind cookie will take you to places you've never fucking been before. I see spots at night when I go on stage some nights. Yeah. Spots. I see fucking spots in the fucking air. I thought I was going crazy. I ate a half a cookie the other night and I was in Salt Lake City and I saw spots

Friday night on the fucking stage. Okay. I'm not fucking with you people. So kind cookies. If you get, I don't know who makes them. I don't give a fuck. I don't know what they put in them. I hope it's out as deep and that's it. Salt Lake City off the fucking chain. That's awesome. Again, Duncan Trussell got a standing ovation, the second show. He was so fucking funny this week in Duncan Trussell. Really? I've never got to see him live. Listen, man, it's a fucking free show. It's stand up meets performance art meets this other shit, which I can't describe. I mean, his bits were great, you know, but he does his chant with incense on stage and then little hobo looks like fucking Joe Rogan when he was a kid. The little hobo, he's bald. He looks

just like Joe Rogan. That's what happened the first time I was high. I'm watching them on stage. I turn around and get water. I turn back and there's this little hobo Joe Rogan looking dull on his fucking thing. And you can see he got better and better with the sets. It was just something about Salt Lake City, man. If you've ever been there, I've been there. It's a beautiful fucking place. I've heard. I mean, fucking just beautiful. Were you even like the main part of the center of the city? Just the places where I've been to. I've been to Ogden. I've been to Provo. I've been to Park City years ago. This is two years in a row. I've been to Salt Lake City and just from what I've seen and the people are fucking warm. The people are fucking,

it's got a communistic ting to it. People are very low-key and you understand. Were there moments that came to your show? Yeah, moments came to my fucking show. Are you crazy? No, they don't fucking come to my show. They stay home and fuck their 19 wives. But they're very warm. They party. I didn't know. I'm used to going by the bar and talking to comic or people after the show. And I couldn't figure out where the bar was. And I went out there at one night because the owner's like, you have too many people and you have too many people at the bar or you can't really go out there because it's too small. You got to go outside. So we had to wait towards the very end to go out and there'd be like 10

people left just to talk and take pictures. And finally I go, where the fuck is the bar? There ain't no fucking bar. They have a little room with beers. That's it. They sell beer. Three, two beer. That's it. No liquor, no no vodka tonics. Really? So I had never been there before. So I'm really sorry. I thought I'd just go out to the bar and talk to people. But they were all crunched up. It really wasn't no bar. It was just the hallway. It was just a hallway. So Duncan goes to the bar Saturday and he calls me and he goes, this is the weirdest thing. I order the glass of wine and they wouldn't sell it to me unless I got an appetizer or a dish or something to eat. And he goes he understood it that it was 3.2. It's it's and to me

I didn't it didn't bother me whatsoever. Everything all right over there leave I'm hearing that buzz. I'm maybe it's that fucking chiba-chiba. Maybe it is cock sucker It wasn't that uh You just feel something you feel something that people Aren't saying something, you know But the interesting was the shows the fucking people were crazy. I mean the people that show up to these That's why shows are just fucking out of their mind. Okay. Oh, yeah, they're out of their fucking minds And I love it and I love them even club owners club owners can't handle it sometimes like who the fuck are these people?

These are real people. These are people who don't give a fuck These are people who work all week want to smoke some fucking reefer and they want to yell and scream and I feel it I don't give a fuck what they do. So was it a better show because there weren't that many drunk people? No, who's got talking about that? It was just a no, but I know there's good show Always gonna get drunk 3.2 be if you listen if you get 10 people and you give them more fucking 10 beers and five of them I'm not they're still gonna get fucking drunk. Yeah, just something about hanging with other people and that energy You know I'm saying the whole energy so

That that part of it was really sensational It but you do feel that little that people well behaved Okay, people are under control like when you go to the mall the fucking mall was completely different than anything I've ever seen but wasn't like Just very controlled. Okay, like everybody walked kind of militantly. I don't know. I don't know Lee But I liked it. You like it. Yeah back twice a year there and I would go back for the festival I do all that shit. That's awesome. I didn't know they only serve beer till one One o'clock well alcohol till one, you know, so there's little things but

That doesn't mean shit to me because I'm not gonna go out drinking afterward anyway. Oh, I know. Yeah, so but besides that it was all fucking good, man That's awesome. I loved it. I fucking love the cocksucker. Well, so you look at your wife this week What movie did you go see? We didn't see what we were watching oranges is the new black which is a It's interesting that you will miss Pat watched it because I would assume like who's gonna Why like if you were in prison, why are you gonna watch a prison show? But yeah, we did that I moved which is great and yeah, like this new place. Yeah, 80th fucking move Hopefully it's the last one. Okay, and this place is it's a one bedroom. Yeah, you got living room like a savage A little dining area a little bit not much

She got mad at me because my couches are too big So I have like I have a dining room table But it's like kind of pushed up against the wall in the back and she was like it when we went together We're gonna have like a nice like like like a whole dining room area. I was like Jesus, but it's uh, it's funny I already met my neighbors in this one and never you ever catch yourself and you're like you're being negative and I Was the first night I moved in and I and I'm the neighbor on each side of me had already come had already introduced himself and I met a neighbor from downstairs and they were talking shit about this one neighbor and I got I came back into my apartment after I'd done like the 1880th trip to my car

And I was like feeling negative. I was like, oh god I'm already talking to these neighbors and I won't talk to anybody But then I was like wait I left my last place because a neighbor wouldn't talk to me and Lied saying I was hitting his car Why am I upset that people are being nice to me and saying hi so I feel like I do like wait It's not that bad. It's a nice old lady and there's a there's a lady who I don't know what happened But she doesn't have any legs, so she just rolls around on a wheelchair

I was just I thought of you immediately, but it was just I don't know Do you ever catch yourself being negative about something like you should be happy? It's like the opposite of what you hated. It's like when you're Watching our sporting event You're in a green room or something and the club owner tries to be very nice and he keeps coming in Yeah, asking can I get you something after a while you feel like saying fucking don't come back in here But you can't because all the dude is trying to do is be a sweetheart of a guy and offer you something And then and then if you went to a club and there wasn't in the club owner never showed up

Yeah, then you get pissed anyway It's weird how I catch myself a lot a lot. I catch myself going Why the fuck am I mad about this guy's trying to go out of his way or what the fuck am I mad about this situation? Yeah, because you always go into a situation at least I do very hesitant sometimes Yeah, and it's a bad way to go in a situation. You have to be more open-minded but living up here in fucking Fake land you got to go into these things like where's the shoe gonna fucking drop, right? It's a bad way to go into something. It really is You know, it's funny when I wake up on Mondays people a lot of people ask me man

What do you get your energy from or whatever? You know what man when I wake up on Mondays like I went to bed last night Soon as this podcast finish up miss Pat last night about nine o'clock. Yeah, I go fill up my wife's tank with gas for work today I went home. There was a parking spot. I basically went upstairs. She was watching something. I Went in there through on some decaf. I mean, this was the My hands. Yeah, I made a few notes in the notebook. I went out. I got my coffee. I spoke to her for maybe 10 minutes And she goes I'm going to bed and I go I'm right behind you Cuz I got home at like 10 and I called and you were out gone gone And I fell asleep and I woke up at 12 30. I had eaten a bunch of fucking cantaloupe

And I woke up at 12 30. I must have pissed for 10 fucking minutes And I looked at the clock. I didn't know I go at 3 in the morning I'm gonna be awake now cuz I just pissed for 10 minutes. I looked at the clock and it was 10 to 12 Wow, and I already felt good. Like I felt refreshed. I went right back to bed and slept to fucking three got up again to pee I was a little thirsty. I drank a little water and I went right back to fucking bed. I Got up to the alarm this morning. I mean usually on a Monday morning get up before the fucking alarm The alarm woke me up this morning. I tell you man. I felt dynamite this morning. Really great. Yeah guys I have one really bad hitch and you guys know what it is. It's no sleep. I'll go to bed 11

I'm walking around a fucking five and that's not good that keeps weight on it doesn't you know, you don't get the proper rest You know, so I've been trying lately to really really go to bed and save two hours. Listen at night I don't do that guys. I could lie to you and tell you I'm trying to write I'm trying to write and I make different notes and stuff, but when I wake up the next morning It's not really what what I wanted to write. Oh, there's two hours of defeating the purpose Why not just tap out and go to fucking sleep, you know tap? Yeah, I want to be normal I want I like to fucking stay up late guys. I love to smoke a fucking vapor and maybe Drink a hot chocolate and stay up. Whatever the fuck people do normal people do and stay up until TV till 2 and watch

Let him and I wish I could I wish I fucking could I would do it every night You know, you're you're you're basically Wednesday through Sunday are kind of crazy When I when I went to Austin I experienced it because we wake up early for this and then you take the fucking early early fucking flight So we're you're on the road by 4 a.m. Usually and then you can't sleep on Friday because you have to do radio You can kind of sleep on Saturday, but then Sunday you're up at 3 in the morning Yeah, your body's a the good thing is after governors this week. I don't have to go to LAX the rest of the summer Oh shit, I don't have to go to LAX of September 27th Unless they put me on that crazy tour in August or whatever's gonna happen

You know, I don't know about my knee surgery yet because it actually feels good. I've been resting it lately Okay, like these three days. I went to Utah. I didn't work out. I didn't do nothing Jiu-Jitsu was so fucking rough last week. I went to Jiu-Jitsu twice last week and I went Tuesday and Thursday usually try to spread them out and it was so fucking rough on me like It's not even the out of shape or the being yeah, it's being fat, but it's It's so rough when you go back to back like I my body couldn't I did kettle bells and I walked on Monday I went to Jiu-Jitsu on Tuesday Wednesday. I just walked with the baby I took a carriage and walked all around to North Hollywood Park and up and I walked to the fucking 7-Eleven

That's like a two mile walk. I walked pushing her then Thursday I went to Jiu-Jitsu for lunch and I gotta fucking tell you man Friday. I was done Like Thursday night I could feel my back locking up a little bit, you know When I go to Jiu-Jitsu that that morning Morning class that Tuesday, you know, it's like I guess it's like a basic Jiu-Jitsu class But we do a lot of warm-ups a lot of rolls front rolls fucking judo rolls, which I can't do I just try a lot of butterfly fucking guard retention shit Then we drill that he teaches something and you drill it and you teach us three different things and you drill different

Variations Tuesday, I didn't roll how to get the fuck out of that at three o'clock meeting I stayed till like 220 the class started at 12 30 Thursday actually rolled with a big kid They got this big kid 25 years ago. His name is Joe Puerto Rican big fucking kid And he fucked me up. Oh, he fucked me up. He fucked me up so bad I was trying to hip escape and I fucked up my toe. I thought I was broken when I pushed it I'm like, oh, no, and I've got to tell you it's a little sore So today I think I'm just gonna go to their political and fucking hit the bag and or maybe go to kettlebell class I'll decide when I go home. I didn't answer emails from last night. So that's what I didn't do last night

Oh, okay, I didn't answer emails. I was gonna try to answer emails that I went to the park With I went to the park with the baby. So but I tell you what puts me in a good fuck yesterday When I got home Something happened with the kitchen was burning. I got home and Terry something happened in the oven Okay, and I was in the shower when I came out and I yelled the Terry Terry got upset because I yelled like what the fuck There's a fire in my house. I've been home for fucking minutes Already I'm agitated, you know, what's it off the plane? I take a shower because those planes are fucking filthy. Yeah And something happened that went in and I caught super bad

My favorite cat got caught in the little gate the baby gate. Okay, you know, he didn't cry or anything I looked down I'm like super bad. What the fuck you doing and then I pulled him out and he went loose in a couple minutes later He was crying And I couldn't figure out what it was and I got under there and I pulled him out I touched him to make sure he didn't break something like oh, what happened to my my wife against I just think he was scared, you know, and this morning I got up and again He was not hiding but he was behind one of the pillars So I had pulled the thing out this morning. I grabbed him and I had to sit with him and hug them

I didn't know if he was mad at me I didn't know what it was but just sitting there with my cat and just hug him for a few minutes and telling him I love him. Yeah, put me in a fucking great mood. Yeah, cuz when I went out at three to get something to drink I didn't see him. I usually see him and I went to bed like what a fucking super back. God damn it You know, maybe he got cracked. Maybe he thought I was yelling at him. I wasn't yelling at him I was yelling at my wife. I'm like what the fuck is the house fucking burning and when I went out to go into the little gate He got caught in a gate and I was so I think he could thought that I was yelling on him or whatever I don't know, you know super bad is as sensitive as I am

So I picked them up and I hugged them and I told them I loved them this morning I had to sit with him for like 10 minutes. It was just really night and all the cats came over Yeah, it was five in the morning there. I am sitting on the floor I'm supposed to be on the computer tweeting and here I am with these babies. I mean, I'm hugging them and I'm thinking I'm so how fucking lucky am I got stinky cats on me some people I used to wake up and have nothing on me I'd be by myself. You know saying yeah, now I got these guys that love me unconditionally these fucking animals, you know and You think about how simple and how stupid it is, but how good it made me feel Yeah, like I'm a new man over that this morning. I wasn't I didn't wake up in a bad mood or anything

I'm just saying that I wasn't a good mood But how can a super bad for a couple minutes and having Lulu come over and Lulu came over a bit his tail So right away. He's like looking at her. I'm like, this is like having fucking kids. It's just cats, you know Yeah, so it was just a really good morning. Sometimes you don't know how lucky you are when you have an animal man Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, sometimes and I know you want to get a dog. You've been thinking about now what there's no apartment They won't they're supposedly not gonna let me but some people have them But I just yeah, I would love to get something that the dog just has so much It relies on you for so much that I feel bad about the time. I wish I wasn't allergic to cats

But what are you gonna do? You're not that allergic to cat anyway Well, I go to your place and your places is nice But you I mean you guys clean out a lot like every time I'm over there see the vacuum once and it's just I mean I I'm not home that much and I know me. I probably let it go and Who knows maybe I'll get something It's funny. We were talking about Working out I got a fucking interesting. I got two interesting call-out emails the last couple weeks, you know People want to hear answers, you know, yeah, and sometimes people get rude about shit

Yeah, I got a lot of that this week and I get pissed off at people But usually sometimes people go hit me up and they go hey man, this is totally out of love and respect I listen to your podcast and they break it down. I've listened to says day one when you told Felicia the story about this So I think I had I bought your shirt whatever no go I think I have a right to talk to you about this the difference for me is I got a And maybe it's one guy if I go to your Twitter and you're saying nice things to people Okay, he's he means it. Well, there's some people like there's this one guy this week who when you go to his page It's either it was either a new page

Which means he made it because I blocked him or it was he's going down every list of every comic may sing something bad about everybody So that pissed me off But most of them are right. It's just like you gotta start doing and I did I took a walk with Paul this weekend And she was like look at your back and my back was like my shirt my shirt was drenched trying to take a shower But it's oh, no, no, listen, there's people out there that They just want to ruin somebody else's fucking day. Yeah, and the worst thing I do is I always fall into that trap I always call them a cocksucker or whatever you should always you just do is block them But what you can do now is it's called mute so that you they can tweet away. You've all English don't see it

That's what I did. I don't give a fuck what they do. It's funny how there's people who get up in one morning Make time to make a fake page. Yeah, and they go to you They go to 20,000 people. You see it when you look at that thing. Hey Buffer, why don't you go fuck yourself? Hey Dana white? You're a content Joe Rogan. Fuck you and you look at them and go Really? So you took the time to build the page To be a fucking little faggot This is what society is created for you to be a little sneaky little fuck and be cute and so people you gotta feel bad for that Yeah, it doesn't affect me at all, but then you have the people I go Lee. I love you like a brother

You know, I've been watching the podcast for a year. I was with you when you juiced. Yeah, those people you have to listen Yeah, and this guy know this guy just said that he thinks that whatever my dieting was It's not working that he's been listening to the podcast. He's a doctor. He's a Chiropractor and his friend turned them on to the podcast about nine months ago When we had a doctor on here and he's been listening to it and he says that he sees my work ethic And he goes, I think you're working too hard for the results that you're getting He goes, I think you should re listen to you. You should re look at your diet again. So I actually did what he told me I got a notebook out again. It's basically Weight Watches

And he goes just for two weeks be as honest and as brutal as you can and write down everything Yeah, take a look at the end of the day and also write down what you did for a workout Which is basically Weight Watches. That's what Weight Watches that makes you claim responsibility for what you're reading Okay, now you look at it at the end of the day And I tell you what man, it was pretty fucking scary really be honest to be very brutally honest And what's going on in my house is yes, there's no more sodas and there's no more breads and there's no more big extravagant meals, okay, but there's a Child in the house now. Mm-hmm. So there's all these little fucking little snacks and treats

And you usually put one in your mouth here one in your mouth there one in your mouth here Those things add up. Yeah, okay, plus sometimes yes I'm eating a fucking piece of fish, but it's 15 ounces of fish the diet calls for seven ounces of fish Mm-hmm, so I'm eating double the amount even though you it's healthy, you know I'm saying and you're having a salad with it It's double the you know, there was just little things. I wasn't looking at my diet that he's right Listen, I started this thing. I was 418 pounds and I didn't at first. I didn't I neglected diet I just wanted him worked out and then somebody said you should tighten up your diet. It's okay I didn't drink fucking six cokes anymore

I drank two cokes and one diet coke and I actually lost weight with minimal work out Hitting the bag and boxing. That's all I was doing then and swimming. That's all I was doing My wife is introducing me to yoga a little bit, but for the most part I lost 100 and something pounds by boxing by getting in front of a heavy bag every day and just hitting it for 30 minutes and Wow a certain rhythm It was just a rhythm bam, bam keep moving and it started with three minutes and one up to six minutes We'll have to mine minutes and then I would either get on a bicycle or the treadmill

And I would then that's how I started and then the other day I would swim for 45 minutes Wow, and that's what I would do. I would just get in the pool and kick That's where you lost the weight probably yeah, I kick I kick I kick I kick and on the way back I pulled and after a couple times I put them together I put the whole bread stroke together, you know, that's how I did it and I stuck to weight I didn't know at that time. I there was no weight watches. I was just hitting the bag of a bar Instead of eating three eggs With a loaf of bread. I was eating three eggs with three pieces of toast, you know little things like that

I still didn't know about weight watches, and I was just about To tap out. I didn't know what to do. I said fuck it. This is not gonna work. This ain't gonna work I'm wasting my time. I'm 40 something. I'm going to the gym three times a week You mean all this work and I've lost fucking six pounds because that's what happens Yeah, you're like all this fucking work and all I've lost is six fucking pound And I read this article like a week before Christmas about how we're confused that we could exercise what we want Unless we change our diet, nothing's gonna happen And I decided to go to weight watches and it was fucking brilliant guys. It really was brilliant

I caught I caught it. I understood life is like County Jail You gotta eat like you're in the County Jail, you know, and you go to County Jail They give you one fucking little piece of meatloaf You know and it works you make it fucking work for you. Yeah when I'm home I eat, you know, my wife makes meatloaf. So I'll eat a piece of meatloaf for the salad First off meatloaf is like fucking horrible. It's fattening as fuck It's got eight points per piece But because I'm not eating the mashed potatoes and the green corn and the fucking corn bread

I think I could eat a bigger piece. Mm-hmm. So it's just little things like that I wasn't looking at that that he was right man. By the way, while we're talking about good food I'm gonna tell you something about bad food so there's a little Mexican place on cold water and Riverside and it's called Pete's I've been going there for a long time Haven't you been there with me the little Mexican joint in the corner window? Maybe very healthy very healthy Jerry Rocha turned me on to it And it's very healthy in there the singer from the foo fighters goes in there a lot. Oh, wow. Okay. Oh

Shit Good morning. Good morning. My love. It's dr. Tonya How are you today good my love what's happened? How was the graduation? Graduation is is a time of mixed emotions and you will know what I'm talking about sooner than later You know you go from from can't you can't wait till they get out of the house because they're driving You're crazy to crime because you're gonna miss them and that happens like in five minutes You know going from loving them to hating them and loving them again So it was beautiful. It was beautiful lots of happy tears

Did she she gone already? She's gone. She is at beach week and I know after we graduated high school We went to you know, the Jersey Shore for a few days and these kids go to Ocean City Maryland for about a week and I have to say it's probably just one big drunk fest So I'm trying not to not think about it too much But she's a good kid and she's out there stretching her wings a little bit Tonya Messina, let me tell you something That's funny you said that so when you graduate the eighth grade what year did you graduate 70 81?

80 from the Kenley school and who was your eighth grade teacher? Wally Linsley was he still the mayor then? He was the mayor and my eighth grade teacher and I'm not gonna say too much more about that You know what you know, what's the deal? I remember he got in died and stuff. He was a great guy. I love Wally Linsley when he take you for fucking 8k trip We know he did well. He took us down the shore. He took us to his beach house. Believe it or not We all went to the day down to like, I don't know where it was Long Beach Island or something I don't know what was that but it wasn't an official, you know school trip

I can't imagine it was but we went on a school bus and We had a lot of fun Because I'm fine for a great. It's funny because in the eighth grade we went to Philadelphia and Betsy Ross's house and all that shit remember you all do that and the nutcrackers week I went there with your sister and all those clowns We took a bus and on the way back we stopped at Callahan's and that's the winter trip That's the big winter trip and then for the summer trip. They went somewhere where there was water I like to say like what's the place in Jackson, New Jersey?

Great adventure great adventure. That's where I think they went for the day But you guys went down like a shore like overnight type trip. Fuck. We got just it wasn't overnight It wasn't overnight. It was definitely like a beach house like on a lagoon It must have been his house and I just remember like hanging out on the dock and you know You know sneaking a few cigarettes and stuff like that. So and you drank it must not have been a very educational school trip You drank in the eighth grade. I Did I learned from the best Let me ask you something was he still hanging around with a guy named Turk Jordan then when you were in the eighth grade

Do you remember I remember him hanging out with a cheerleading coach Miss Sesto, that's what I remember the cute little chubby girl Well, no, no, no, she was little tiny girl with with it with a big rack Yes, miss and she used to have a Gina Gekona Exactly, we thought her and Gina were lebbing it up. That's right. Miss Sesta I didn't know what was happened But he used to have a little the guy that did all his cleanup work was a guy with a wig His name was Turk Jordan. He was a really creepy-looking guy

He took me Chuck and McBreen and why deal Donald to a basketball game and he got into a fist fight That's a fucking craziness that it was the mayor's aid. He was the mayor's aid at the time I don't know if you ever met him and that doesn't really matter. Yeah, I don't think I did I don't think I did but talking about McKinley school cocoa I want to tell you that your reader your listeners have a really soft place in my heart because after I was on your show last time My my blog had the best week ever I mean you tons and tons of your listeners came to my to my site and I very much appreciate that so I gave them a little treat today on My site today is a story about how we met and they can leave school and it's a funny story

So if they want to learn more a little an early story about Uncle Joey, they should check it out today Thank you I don't know if you remember how we met so you might need to read it, too I don't remember tiny machine. I don't not fucking remember. I remember a lot I was little I was like in fourth grade. Yeah, cuz I was two or three years older than you Right, right and you came into my classroom. That's all I'm gonna say you have to read to find out the rest. Okay. No, it's Very interesting that I've been talking to you lately and it's bring bringing back a lot of memories from that That neighborhood the reason why I didn't go on the eighth grade trip to be honest with you gives the year Anthony died

So I was already done. I said, you know what? I'm not going on that class and I registered for five-star basketball camp and it was a long snow year So we went to school a lot longer. We didn't graduate till later on But I'm really happy that you called because we're talking about something that some guy Wrote me a no and we're talking about how you when you get in shape That it's a lot more, you know dieting than going out there and running hills, you know, like to lose the fucking weight So I'm happy that you called. What do you have for us today? Dr. Tanya and our health? Well, we'll definitely talk about about the weight-lossing if you want for sure

but I also want to just give you a couple little blurbs about childbirth and You know, it might not be something that you're that your listeners are dying to hear about But there's something very troubling that's happening and either either your listeners are parents or they're gonna someday be parents and I feel very passionately about this that the US United States This just came out literally in the beginning of May this year We're the only country in the entire world Who is maternal mortality rates are increasing what that means and in real language is that mothers are dying giving birth in this country? And that those rates are increasing only in this country everywhere else in the whole entire world

Fewer mothers are dying in childbirth in this country more mothers are dying in childbirth and what is the result? What is the reason? Crazy they're saying they're saying, you know that because we're having babies at later ages here And because we have such bad diets and a little exercise so that kind of ties into your reader's question That we're sick or going into childbirth I personally happen to think that another factor is that we are medicalizing birth, you know Birth is not brain surgery birth is a natural process. It doesn't really need anybody to help it women can literally squat and have a baby But in this country because you know, you can make money off it and you can put them in a sterile hospital room and make it a procedure

And you can control it We like to do that and I think the more you mess with it The worse it is out of 46 countries that are industrialized, you know people that have a really good health care system Where do you think we are on the list if one is the healthiest and 46 has the worst and that's overall health 35th Yeah, we're 31st, so you're close but that's that's that's a travesty I mean, don't you think that we have more hospital literally we have more hospitals more doctors more research and development in any Place else in the world and there are 30 30 countries that are healthier than us

We're doing something really terribly wrong Coco and and it's very disheartening to me because I see it every day in my office I see these people come in and they're sick and I see these moms come in and they're getting cesarean section 35% of moms Have cesarean sections. That's horrific because only 10% should be having them So I have a really hard time with that. We're on par. Guess who we're on par with health wise for maternal mortality We have the same rate as Iran and Afghanistan So if you told your wife, I want you to be in the best place to have a baby You're gonna send her to Iran and Afghanistan or you wanted to be someplace where baby or mom is not dying I mean, that's crazy. Isn't it that is fucking crazy. I'll tell you

One of the scariest parts of my life was when my wife was recently pregnant That was one of the scariest phases Because I knew a thousand things could go wrong, you know, I had a I have a belief that nothing was gonna go wrong But I was very scared for especially at her age I had gone online and read about childbirth of women over 40 and I had a fucking shut the computer off I started bawling. I was I change you have to yeah, yeah So I didn't know it this mortality rate women is it because I mean you also mentioned that women aren't as healthy going in Right because number one they say we're older and also, you know to your again to your reader your readers

Um, and you're the guy who rich in to his point, you know, you were heavy. We're not we're sedentary. We're not active our diets are crap and This is a very physical activity labor means work, right? It's work pushing the baby out Did your wife push your baby out or did you have a C-section? My wife pushed it out So you saw that right? Yes. Yes. I didn't faint. It's crazy, right? It's fucking crazy It is one of the craziest things you'll ever see but One of the I don't know I want to say beautiful, but I don't want to sound cliche but it's something that Everybody should see one time

It's when I had my first child when I was 20 something. I just fucking passed out I couldn't handle it and now I know why I passed out. I didn't pass out Because of my fears I passed out because Something didn't I don't know I didn't see the beauty in it when Terry had the child. I Was in a better place with my life and I handled it You know the only thing I saw a little bucket with blood and I kind of freaked out But I looked at her I looked at her and I saw her transformation right in front of my fucking eyes like the wolf man With no 3d or 6g or none of that shit

It was it's I don't know I don't want to sound like one of those fucking guys, but I saw something different in that room. I Think that's a beautiful thing that number one that you felt it number two that you can say that because a lot of guys think it's you know Oh, no big deal. It's macho. It's no macho bullshit. You are seeing it You're saying your wife's power in that moment. That's her power. That is what she was meant to do. It's uh, I Hate to say that I fucking hate to say that I Hate that statement Tonya Messina, but I gotta tell you something I feel it myself because I knew Terry. I knew Terry for 12 years before that this times

I have problems with Terry, you know why cuz Terry is a little like me She's a fucking pain in the ass and she's tough, you know, she'll say this wild shit to me She'll say wild shit, you know, and it drives me fucking crazy. But then again, I say wild shit But ever since she's had this child I Saw what she was put on this planet to do Like I really like when she was working all those weeks and working full-time. I had to sit her down and go look a man I'm looking at it from the outside and you're fucking defeat in the purpose You have no idea what you're you're confusing here. I go you've put away money

I go on the road Sit at home. I don't give a fuck to her. It was a different thing. It was like a different monster And now I see her hair looks different her eyes look different, you know It's it's an amazing transformation to see a woman become a woman Like a fucking woman like to see white Whoever the fuck put her on this planet the Indians the Martians God the Jewish guy Why what the woman was meant to really kind of do I know a lot of women are gonna hit me back and go Joey I don't want to have kids. How can you say something that no? I'm telling you when it came to my wife. Oh my god, I

Saw who the fuck she became in ten fucking seconds Yeah, you're right and I love listening to you talk like that because I see it I've been with you know Probably a hundred patients as they give birth and I cry my eyes out every time because it's a beautiful beautiful thing And I think the medical system in this country unfortunately takes that away from a lot of women When we slice them and dice them I'm and I know that some women need C-sections I get a lot of hate mail because of this and I'm okay with that because this is a really important subject You know 10% of women actually 5 to 10% of women need a C-section for emergency reasons

But in this country we give 35% of the women C-sections and we do that because it's inconvenient or because the doctor You know has better skills with C-section and delivering them vaginally You're taking that moment away from women. You don't get that high You don't get that transformation in that moment when you cut a baby out I'm gonna tell you some tiny machine and partly it's the woman who's given births fork also Because they turn childbirth into a fucking wedding See I went through childbirth in LA with my wife and my wife is like me. She's no nonsense She just wanted to spit the kid out. She was 42

I went to the doctor's meetings where I went to those little group meetings where you spit a fucking ball around and all that shit And but I also went through that with my ex-wife and Boulder now Boulder has all these fucking Gentiles So you could either have the child at the hospital or you can have the child at the child birthing center And at the child birthing center, it's natural. There's Indians playing the violin You know people wash your feet. They're eating croissants And the guy's name was dr. Misoka Dr. Misoka was six foot seven Two hundred and ninety pounds from Brooklyn. He looked like a fucking gangster and his wife

There were a combo team. All right, his wife was this beautiful little petite white woman You looked at them and said what the fuck happened here But everybody went to dr. Misoka because a woman was dying a mother was giving birth And she was dying on the hospital bed and Misoka yelled at the staff and brought the lady back to life So Misoka was like a no-nonsense like get the fuck up bitch You know like he used to say shit to women that women would stop going to him and they felt insulted by him But he was he had such a great reputation Do you follow me that they put like he they would put up through it like my buddy called me

He's like my fucking wife went to Misoka my wife put on 40 pounds and Misoka looked her in the face and said it's okay, baby I like my women a little heavy myself right if they fall like catch him He was torturing women with those sayings, but he was so good. That was his reputation. He had saved the mom on the bed, so he would always give you the birthing center or You know you had the option of the hospital My wife who was a granola eating fucking Momo picked the birthing Senate Tanya Masina. She tapped out within 15 minutes Did she really had a sender over to the hospital? Yeah, she went in there with the sandals on and the mood wall that fucking woman that comes with you and some spiritual

Advisor and some way with gluten-free biscuits and that shit ended in about eight minutes She was yelling and screaming they had to give her an apple a epidural block And they took it to the main fucking hospital and that was the end of that she lost face the hippies didn't want her ever again It's I have to say it's tough. I mean again. They call labor for a reason I walked around for 38 freaking hours with my first no drugs walked up and down the hallway in the birthing center It a whole freaking watermelon literally had a whole watermelon When I was in labor with her and I pushed her out standing up right onto the floor. Oh My god, no drugs. I no drugs no drugs

So she was 38 hours and my second one was an hour. So I kind of averaged out it, you know, whatever 18 hours 19 hours My wife this time went in Sunday at one and she had the baby Tuesday I like seven in the morning, but it wasn't like all pushing them But if we just sat there and watch TV and we bullshit and I left the four hours and I went and got high and came back Now let me tell you what it's like I'm gonna I'm gonna walk you through a little exercise here cocoa I want it's like to have a baby in a hospital bed with an epidural so I'm gonna tell you that I'm gonna put you on your back

I'm gonna put your feet up in the air and those stirrup things I'm gonna make you numb from the waist down and then I'm gonna tell you to take a poop That's gonna be easy is that gonna be hard that's gonna be fucking disgusting Right, it is gonna be disgusting But it's gonna you can't even imagine taking a poop on demand when you can't even feel your yourself in the waist down, right? No, it's like to push a baby out when you're laying on your back with an epidural And you don't feel nothing Nothing and people say I'm crazy for walking around and having a baby standing up or squatting down

It's like well, how do you push in a baby out cocoa? This is the bottom line pushing a baby out It's just like taking the biggest crap of your life Oh, Jesus Christ Yeah, and if you're numb from the waist down You know, it's hard it's hard to it's hard to know how to push and how long to push and when not to push and all that stuff So, you know when you when you're numb, that's why a lot of these women start needing intervention They start needing those forceps and that vacuuming thing. Have you seen the vacuum thing? They pulled the baby out. No I don't want to fucking see a vacuum

I saw the I saw the spoons when they When they give you the the stork bite to the head and they suck. Yeah, that's the that's the forceps Oh my god, yeah, the vacuum thing is they literally put a suction cup They go up your wife's vagina and they put a suction cup on the baby's head really tight And then the doctor leans back with all his muscle and pulls the baby out She says good for the baby and that's why kids have pointy ears when you see those little Martian looking motherfuckers Like Mike Chickarelli I

Think Darren Rager even had a pointy ear. God bless his soul. I know Darren a little wrestler. Oh my god I was thinking I'm doing governors this weekend in Long Island And yeah, I saw that I saw that you're not are you going for sure or not? You're not sure yet. I'm leaving I'm leaving I gotta go I gotta go it's Thursday Friday Saturday, but it's funny Regina Gordon's son is coming to see me Regina Gordon passed when she was 49. She died two years ago And why he he hit me up on Facebook and we've been kind of Friends, you know on Facebook and he hit me this week and he asked me if he'd come see me and I'm sitting here going

It's amazing Tonya that now I'm dealing with my friends. I grew up with kids with their kids That's amazing and then in the blink of an eye and I bet don't you I bet in every city you perform I bet you have someone that you know from North Bergen coming to those shows. Is that true? Yeah, pretty much lately Oh, they hit me up. Whether it's You know, whether it's a friend or a child or a you know, it's about some connection I would imagine every show because I know when I go see you there's always someone there. Yeah, there's an acquaintance It's something it's really weird that we're to that level in our lives where he's gonna come and ask me about his mom, you know

He's gonna go home with my mom like when she was growing up, you know, whatever and I'm It's just a weirdest thing this phase of our lives were going into your daughter graduated, you know Jesus Tonya it went fucking fast Blank of an eye cocoa blink of an eye I mean, I kissed her goodbye the other day going to beach week and she's not coming home for a month She goes from the beach in Maryland to the Cayman Islands. I want her life, right? She's goes to the Cayman Island with her boyfriend and his family and then get this she goes to Australia New Zealand and Hawaii, so I'm not gonna see her for a month and you know

I'm happy so happy for her that she's confident and Adventurous and she gets these great experiences, but I'm sad like I you know, I love my kid You know moments. I want to you know, ring your neck, but of course you love your kid. She's your life She's your heart and the fact that she's now basically launched she's starting her own life right now It's it's it's happy and it's sad. I Can't even fucking imagine, you know, I think of us running around those woods Up and down to Union City and you know, we watch your girls back, you know, we always watch you guys and You think of our kids how to be in that situation when you let your daughter run around north bergen with us

And we were kids same doing what you were doing at 13. Oh my god, coke I'm never following you guys up the hill by the cemetery going to the what's the name of the store on by the cemetery the Speck store. No, the Chinese yeah, that was no, no, there was there was what was the Chinese dragon grocery dragon grocery I took Lee I took me to dragon grocery. He's not there. No, no, I was like, I was like, how old are you in like fifth grade? You're like Like 10 11 12 years old. Are you kidding me? I mean a going up the hill. I Just I just my head spins with the memories of what we are hanging out the soccer field You know, everyone's got a little something in their back pocket

Whether it's you know, a little booze or a little something else and they were babies Would you would you let your daughter go out with us today if you knew would you let her in that environment? But look what you became from that neighborhood Tonya. That's the other question part of who you are is From what we saw and learned in that little fucking six corners of the world In the woods in the woods I know that I know that it makes you stronger because you have to be street smart, right? You have to be tough and You know, I definitely I don't I don't invalidate it

I think it definitely made me who I am today made me successful, you know It's it's all all roads lead to today a hundred percent You know, you wonder why the sad part is the people that didn't make it out at all or the people that didn't make it out Successfully or happily that's what makes me sad like how come, you know, I think we have a great life You out in LA me here and we we are we have it all right? We have family. We have health We have beautiful kids. We have great friends good jobs. We love so we got we do have it all We all live in the dream But there are a lot of people that like that are where we're from and they didn't they weren't so lucky

Yeah, they got stuck but guess what I was stuck for years also time. You remember 15 I was stuck for fucking 15 years For 15 years. I was stuck on a drug that I was stuck on a drug and I was I had fear and I had confusion and anger I had a lot of anger and when you add the drugs to the fucking anger that turns into a So it took time. It takes time to work through things. I Guess to the best thing to say is that they never really worked through things That's the only way I could figure this out how some people just get stuck and some people do in the beginning of their lives and Some people don't get their lives. You know, I don't get it. I Don't understand. I could never ever ever again put a line of coke to my nose not because of just because I went through it already

I went to that state already. I went to that state. I visited I took pictures. I bought souvenirs I did everything I went there ready, you know I could never do a lot of the things and when I hear of people RA'd still snorting coke in North Bergen It kills me Yeah, it kills me. It kills me about The reason why I brought I was thinking about Regina. He used to date she used to date Kurt Regina was a beautiful girl. She only Linconte Kurt and and Ed Connors all those guys are tense those are tense

Those guys those men were tense. They could be on any cover of any fucking GQ Glenn Conti Kurt DeLorenzo and his heyday and Eddie Connors. They could be on the cover of any magazine at any time They just blew it. Definitely. They just blew it I saw a picture Eddie Connors and in Facebook from 20 years ago. He looked like a Hollywood star Do you know who that was Eddie Connors? Oh? Definitely. Oh for sure the fireman. He was a fireman. This guy looked like a fucking Hollywood star That's who that Regina dated and I think of a guy like Kurt who we were cousins with we were family

I ate in his house. I lived in his house He's MIA, how did that happen Tonya I know the brakes my heart and I had I mean he was like the brother I never had and he was our brother, you know You try you try so hard to help someone but you really can't you can't rescue someone They have to rescue themselves. No, what happened there. I mean this kid went to college. This kid made millions This kid 30 years ago was on top of the world to see a kid now that they said it doesn't have shoes He walks around yeah, it's heartbreaking It's it's it luck. I mean so what so what so what's what's a determining factor?

You know, we don't have to get all psychoanalytical, but It's a little bit of luck. Is it hard work? Is it just you know, I don't know But I'm grateful for what work and the stars definitely have to fucking align But it's got to do with you and you go one morning you waking up and going this doesn't work for me no more This fucking doesn't work for me. No more. I'm gonna try this This that's what we're just talking about here that I've been stuck between 309 for the last 90 days Before that I was at 316 fucking pounds and I lost the weight after the testosterone

But for the last month, I'm a zigzag in between that and some guys sent me an email saying that I should write down my diet again like like Weight Watches so I did it the last two weeks and I looked at it and I saw what I was doing wrong Yeah, I don't eat bread no more and yeah, there's no soda in the house and I exercise But my wife has a child now we have a child and she's buying children's food there So she started buying those fucking cheese puffs Every time I walk by the counter I eat two fucking cheese puffs By the end of the day you eat 16 cheese puffs

That's 300 fucking calories that you thought you walked off on the eucalyptical machine Right now, let me ask you this you also finish your food on her plate because that doesn't No, she eats all fucking none whatever food my wife gives her like food with no fucking flavor She's starting early into the gentile world the other day I gave her Cuban rice and chicken with hot sauce My wife had a heart attack, but she bit something and she started crying my wife said I don't know what the fuck happened But no, no, and I'm trying to really you know, I gotta go for this colonoscopy now. You got me all scared I got a fart and they're gonna

Turn the lights out and fucking put a camera up my asshole But these are things you got to do time you to make it to the next level, you know, I want to live till I'm 70 now I want to see this girl graduate high school Of course you do now and you have to do the right thing the colonoscopy don't be scared because you're in You know la la land they really do it's nice medicine they give you but I'm telling you when they give it to you Not only fart yourself you're gonna hear everyone else's parts around you Where they give you the medicine do they give me intravenous They probably they'll give you an IV and it's like a twilight. So yeah, it's not it's not general anesthesia

But you won't remember a darn thing They say you have the best sleep of your life when you get a colonoscopy It's only like 15 minutes, but you feel like you slept like 12 hours Yeah, but if you sleep the camera's up your ass and they see you there naked your ass holes wide open Listen if I know if you come over my house and you fall asleep and I play with a camera up your asshole And I know you definitely gonna be asleep for 45 minutes. I'm gonna put other shit up your asshole Not my dick, but you know, maybe a tic-tac. Who knows? I'm gonna have a you know I'm gonna have a good time with your asshole. What the fuck Lee. What's happening over there?

You any questions for dr. Tanya Lee? No, the childbirth thing was crazy because I remember you during that time and You didn't kind of I don't know if it hit you then or you just didn't want to talk about it But like you were definitely more an edge during that time than after the after mercy was born You were like, yeah, I mean I read that thing. I went crazy like thinking about that like and Now it's kind of crazy because mercy is such a beautiful girl But when when your wife comes to you at 43 is any part of you like it's not safe to have the kid I couldn't tell her that there was no way I was gonna tell her that that it wasn't safe because I didn't want it up in the

Universe, right? I just went online to see if there was anything I could do to help her Okay, walk with her, you know if there was some different things I could do at the age of 40 with a woman walk with her Go swimming with her what I could do to help her out and I saw all these negatives And that's what put me on fucking edge. Yeah, that's all it was. I'm sorry if I No, no, no, but it wasn't it was just it was interesting and I mean, it's horrible to even think about but I mean Cuz like We had miss Pat here last night when I kid 12. I can't imagine I'm a lady here last night to have a kid at 12 Tonya. Oh jeez

Fuckin 12 by the time she was like 14. Yeah, two by the time she was 14 By a 25 year old dude Yeah, that's crazy stuff, that's crazy But I mean, but would you ever think that that women like you think a woman bound job dying in Chalberg You think that's like the colonial days. You think that's like in Africa No, people are dying in this country Like I said, it's gone up 136 percent since 1990. That's crazy. So is it because like there's complications during the c-section that wouldn't have been there During the natural childbirth. Is that like is that most of it?

That's definitely I won't say it's most of it. I don't want to give incorrect information But you know when the World Health Organization says that five to ten percent of women need c-sections and we're doing 36 percent of them and The World Health Organization also says doing more than 15 percent as way more harm than good. Yeah That's a that's one of the reasons why women are dying in Chalberg It also has to do with again being unhealthy going in. I mean, you can't have high blood pressure diabetes You know be obese and and push a baby out or not have a complication So so that definitely has an effect to we're generally less healthy But I think we interfere too much having a baby is not a medical procedure. It's natural

You should just let it happen. It doesn't need help. It just needs you to not interfere with it I mean, it's proven when the fucking taxi cab driver helps a woman have a baby You know you every fucking day you read about a taxi crab a cop a fucking bum Somebody a lady didn't make it and she gets down they get hot water They get some towels and the baby spits it out right there in the fucking cab I mean it happens all the time I mean it's easy for me to talk about because I've never come close to experiencing it But it sounds kind of like what what I know personally is the problem with me losing weight

It's like you want the easy way out so it seems like maybe the women are are saying I want the nicest I don't feel anything which I can understand why you wouldn't want to feel that coming out of you But I mean it seems to kind of like there's no easy way around these kind of do we've got to do it now What you're saying these are the same women I got to say this these are the women who say I don't want to feel pain and childbirth or I want to schedule a C section So I'm not gonna know when it's gonna happen These are the same women who were who were getting frigging Brazilian bikini waxes walking around in like six inch heels and Doing triathlons those three things hurt like hell. Okay, but you don't want to push a baby out

Like I don't get that I call bullshit on that for sure Let me ask you this because I'm looking at this from a different angle now So let's say Terry went and had the baby Naturally boom hospital couple fucking people they spit it out one night stay Comparison to cesarean what what's the difference in cost? Approximately double to triple okay, so there's your answer right there Cuz I'm gonna tell you something My wife mentioned it to me cesarean see I know she mentioned it and then she said no because her girlfriend had a cesarean and

The girlfriend that had the cesarean is a chick that is like a model type chick She carries guns You know, she's very at the gym every day and she had a cesarean because she didn't want a scar I don't know what the fuck the deal was so you're absolutely right on the type of women that do it She carries a piece. She's a model She works out you should have seen this girl at childbirth. She was ripped to shreds from working out She went to the gym twice a day while she was pregnant But she had the cesarean

Yeah, and that's an elective cesarean and again, I'm gonna get hate mail and you might too I mean people say I needed the two section and if someone needs a few section because their baby is in trouble or they're in trouble That's what they're there for I have no problem with that and we're very blessed to have C-section to save a mommy and a baby But when I'm talking that a doctor says, you know, a doctor doesn't want to get called at six o'clock on a Saturday night So to go deliver a baby vaginally isn't it nicer to say? Well, do your C-section on a Monday morning this way if you have any complications I can see you Monday through Friday and I have my weekend to myself now I don't think they they go through that calculated

But when you can control it and go like oh, I got I got four patients that are due this week You know, I'm gonna be up all night. I'm not gonna get sleep. My daughter's graduating. You think they don't want to do a C-section You know a scheduled plant cesarean they do or even an induction where they put them on into labor, you know with drugs They want to control it they people in hospitals like to control things and when someone's dying of cancer They should control things when someone gets hit by a train. They should control things when you're having a baby step away I can dr. Tonya on a Monday fucking morning Giving out rules. I like it. I got a few things to say about that. Don't I I know I like you have to work today You know, what's your schedule? No, I work on Thursday mornings. That's that's when I see patients and the rest of the week

I write I write on my blog and I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna openly solicit your listeners to go to go to my blog dr Tonya.com dr T. A. N. I. A. Check me out read about uncle Joey The story about when I met you when I was in fourth grade. So I write every day. I Go do yoga every day. I did yoga on the farm. My friend has a farm I did it last night for an hour and a half. It was beautiful outside with the crickets. I Take care of my kids and my husband You know breakfast lunch and dinner just do you know, I do the wife thing. I do the laundry the cook and the cleaning

And I have a nice very balanced life. I'm very blessed. I get to see patients. I get to educate patients online I get to take care of myself Life is good I'll tell you ever since I Recommunicated with you my life's been a little better. You're uh, your voice is very soothing in your and Tonya Messina not only did somebody Hit me up the other day and tell me about that. I should check out my diet again Somebody hit me up three days ago and right off the bat said bluntly

That you should get in touch with your daughter again I thought about you and it's really weird that you called today because I didn't answer the email I Was gonna talk to you about it because we had the discussion the car that day and it really hit home with me But I didn't want I think I when I left there. I left there. I think I didn't want you to think that I had given up or I hadn't Hit her up in the last few years Like I said, I hit her up the last three years in a row two were on her birthday and one was before the school year And I got no responses three years in a row. So I just moved on with my life

No, you have to because that's like banging your head against the wall, right? We're doing the same thing expecting a different result That's what insanity is. So you have to you have to take care. You have a wife and a baby now. You got to love them but you know, I just Having kids and you know looking at your baby girl that Babies, you know girls need their daddies and I just think that you know that she's an adult your daughter that if there's some way That you know, I could help you find her or her find you that She's always thinking about you. I don't care what anyone says girls Don't forget their dad. My dad was absent from my life for most of my life

And there wasn't a day went by that I didn't think about him and at the end of his life He died at 88 at the end of his life when he was like 83 we reconnected and I'm so grateful for that I'm so grateful for that. And so if you know if you have the opportunity To reconnect with your daughter and just say your piece that you love her and you wish it was different And that's always here moving forward. That's a huge gift for her No, I've tried and I think that people at times think I'm an insensitive guy and I want to just clear the air that 1994 5 and 6 was some of the toughest years of my life never never mind going to jail never mind my mom dying Never mind just being confused for fucking 10 years of your life. Just it was so tough and

I thought that if I Walked away and did some with my life because I wasn't winning and I was never gonna win at the pace I was going I was eventually gonna do something end up in jail and I knew the direction I was going And I walked away, but the whole time I had made myself a promise But if I watch it grow from a distance and I'm not involved in a life 24-7, I have to make sure I do something my life You know, I have to make sure that when I see her again That I'll say listen, we were apart for 20 years, but this is what I did in the last 20 years Your life wasn't in vain. I just didn't go away and forget about you

I did all these things to let you know that I was working towards this meeting, you know When I stopped seeing my daughter, I had nothing Tonya I had hand to whatever I made doing comedy I paid her in the attorney and I shoplifted to take her to lunch and shit like that on month on Wednesdays and Sundays, it was a horrible life Tonya, but I made it work I made it fucking work and then the opportunity of eyes with comedy and I jumped on it and I still tried to keep in touch I did the best I could but I had forces outside of me that were working against me, you know her mother and Today look, I don't talk to her it's been a couple of years, but everything's been paid off my commitment's been still there

You know over the years. I sent stuff that was extra, you know, I sent Teddy bears And I'm sure she never got I mean Tonya the story goes for you know forever We could sit here for hours, but I just wanted everybody to know and I appreciate What you were trying to do in that last conversation we had and I'm gonna reach out I'm gonna reach out when the time is right when I get ahold of her and Right now. I'm just enjoying mercy and trying to Get a second chance, you know Well you you above anybody deserve that second chance and anyone who knows your cocoa

Even just a little bit. They know that you always do the right thing So I have no doubt that that that you are only supported and loved and in this in this whole You know scenario with your first daughter and and know that we all love you and support you and it's gonna happen The way it's supposed to happen if you know anything about me It would be my dream to have them both and it didn't say it with me You know I'm saying both yeah, and one could tell the other one or the one could tell you know That would be a dream come true with my wife But and I would love to even talk to my ex-wife, but I don't think I could that's one conversation

I don't think I could because it's that Like I told you it's that painful. It wasn't just a divorce They were trying to cut my legs off and I'm a bad person For that I've done a lot of bad things, but not enough to cut my legs off like that It was just a cold-blooded thing that I would never even do there and after where I did some things that I regret today I regret them today as a man, but You make your mistakes and you move on you know, and I'm happy you caught on you I'm happy that you're in my life, and I'm happy that we talk and you're a fucking savior

You're warmth in your your web page, and I check on you from time to time I like on your little Facebook page there, and I see that you're you're fucking hustling you want to sell what you got And you got something good to sell Well, I appreciate that you know I really feel like after 25 years of practicing I feel like I do have some good advice to offer and I love doing it once and one with my patients That's very fulfilling and I still do that But you know like I look online and I've reached you know like 15,000 people with an article And I think if I could change if I just change one of those people's lives for the better

If they made one better decision because I said something It makes me feel really good You know I mean there's so many things working against us in health You know we get crappy food and crappy water and crappy air and we're working Are you know working ourselves to death and not sleeping and if one thing I say can change someone's life for the better Then that's what makes it worthwhile for me You know I really I really am humbled to have the opportunity to help someone make it make a better health decision for sure It's amazing how many times

I've known in life that I've had to make a decision about something and I've read somebody's article that I don't even know I Don't even know I knew my best friend as a jujitsu fucking master I got 20 friends that that's all they do and I took an article by Stephen Keppling a guy online About jujitsu about beginning jujitsu that made me join. I was just telling Lee You know six years ago when I made the constant decision to get healthy I was doing all this stuff at the gym and cutting my diet I didn't know what to do and I was frustrated because in six months. I lost three pounds and one day some guy wrote an article about Dieting is what you do to lose weight. You know like it's not all about working out

Just that little simple article changed everything. It made me join Weight Watches So I know that what you're doing helps people It's like it's like twisting a jar and it doesn't open and all sudden somebody comes along and just Twisted for you some little kid does it. That's what you do with your writing sometimes. So I'm happy that you're doing that Tonya. I Appreciate that we got to get you and Lee. What's what's missing Lincoln your diet? So what do you think? What can I help you clean up in your diet set that you think is you know that that you know that you're messing up But that I can give you some advice on I was talking to a gentleman at the gym at Justin Fortune's gym

He goes listen Joey after 50 a Glass of water puts weight on you. He goes you really got to watch your sweets And you really got to watch this and this and now you know, I'm not blaming nobody. It's me It's me the one that eats the cheese doodles It's me that you know, I stopped eating bread, but I eat the wheat bread, you know my wife buys cold cuts So I'll still make a cheese sandwich or mustard late at night, you know, I'm not eating ice cream or cakes or stuff like that That's not I'm not eating. I'm not going to restaurants and eating It's little things little adjustments. I need to make that's it and I just realized

Well, you know, it's you know, it's really scary cocoa was that 80% of the food in the grocery store and I'm not talking dessert Like let's forget about ice cream cookies cakes. That's not included in this 80% of the food has sugar in it That doesn't need sugar. So we're talking pasta sauce Marinade salad dressings everything has sugar in it and sugar is really I believe the one diet the one Thing that's in our food that makes us fat. So you have to read every frickin label every frickin label You know, obviously get rid of the soda get rid of the cakes cookies ice creams But you have to read things like can you imagine 80% of the items in the grocery store have sugar in them that don't need it? And so it's number one. It's addictive number two

It's what makes you fat because your body sugar goes, you know without getting too complicated and technical Basically when you have too much sugar goes right to fat So sugars and bread, you know sugars even in wheat bread their sugar. So you're better off to set it in a cheese sandwich each cheese To have with the bread. It's just amazing and you know what I go in front of the house and I work out my walk and I Really try to stay on this. It's amazing. I haven't had nothing but water and tea for the last six days straight I think the other day I was on a plane and I asked the lady for a diet coke just for a change I said, let me get a fucking diet coke or something besides that. It's always water and tea lately just because that's it That's so it's not like I'm not trying so it gets frustrating. No, I'm cocoa

I know you're trying every time I talk to you coming back from Tai Chi and acupuncture and kettle bells I know that you are definitely working, but there's clearly a missing link. It's the numbers are not going in the right direction So maybe my advice to you and me and your listeners is to really just read every label And if it does sugar like in the first five ingredients and sugar is high fructose corn syrup It's cane syrup. It's maltose. I mean, I have articles on that on my website There's like 28 names for sugar So they mess with you because I said sugar you'd know to avoid it But when it says like maltodextrin you don't think it's sugar, but it is so they screw with you a lot

I just watched the movie set up Katie Kirk the girl from the news she she directed and produced a movie called set up and it's about the sugar industry I have to say it's a little technical, but it's really good and it shows you how messed up You know messed up our country is that it's a political there are political reasons why there's sugar on everything because the sugar lobbyist They like to sell it to us, you know So that's what that's a good movie to check out and might help you to understand You know, maybe why you're not dropping the way as quickly as you'd like so you can get it I think you can get it online, but I know it's in theaters now set up

You might want to check that out even the edibles I look at the labels with the edibles and I guess and I tell them at the weed store to tell the fucking people to make Edibles with you know, no sugar in them to put because there's a lot of edibles with diabetics, you know, I mean they they've even gone that far Cheap, but she was 60 calories So this ain't killing you this 60 calories don't kill that's one point at Weight Watchers You get 44 of those in the day and an extra 35 of them on Sunday So one point a day even if you one of these a day at seven fucking points It's not gonna kill you so I don't know what it is and

It's been fucking killing me You know, I'm big and I go to jujitsu and listen no matter how much I stop smoking and I do cardio It's 300 fucking pounds It's 300 pounds every time you fucking make a move, you know There's times I have to pick the calculator up for my wife and their reefs like 60 pounds or something or and I go wow This is what I used to put on my body This definitely has to fuck my heart, you know, so what I really want to know it and not only your heart your joints I mean think about it like you know, even if you're thin and you carry around with you know, 15-pound bag of potatoes

That's you know, it's heavy you go cheese, you know, you've put out 15 pounds in the blink of an eye I mean, that's a lot of stress on your fucking eyes So I'm gonna try to get out of the 300 club get down to 299 then go to work from there Go down to 270 or down to 265 just work it very slowly just wait watch your style, you know Just take a little bit off. I'm gonna try to really write everything down I got a notebook a master notebook the other day and I'm starting to write everything down and it's helped It's really helped a lot. So that's my next and read the label seriously read the labels cocoa Because you'll be surprised sugars and everything so if you have and I'm not saying buy sugar-free bullshit with the fake sugar in it

Don't don't stay away from the artificial sweetener. She's by stuff with that's not processed by stuff It doesn't have a label, you know, you eat an apple. You don't need to eat apples off of sugar in it, you know eat real food That's why I love you Tonya. I'll give you a call this weekend. I'm happy you got to go I would love to talk to you Hey, can I ask your listeners check me out again on Facebook? It's ask dr. Tonya ask dr Tania if you like what you see click the like button. We'd love to have you come back your readers of the bomb You look into the bomb. They always write in and say nice things about me. I appreciate it They're very health conscious people they all there's a couple of them that are chubby

They're trying to make the same move we're making so as long as they learn something Tonya everybody's fucking happy. I love you Love you too. Coco. Thanks for having me back. Bye. Thank you mama. Have a great week What's up, Lee, why are you sitting there all depressed? I'm not depressed at all. You're stoned to the girls again fucked up Cheebo chew the fucking break they put extra in their first batch. They're like we were gone for a while Let's move a little bit of extra. You look good. I'm happy you look good. You got red today You got stoned and it was perfect the fucking girl's got cookie took you right into the Cheebo chew Who's better than me? Who takes care of you like a fucking joe?

You're gonna be walking around in like a Tuxedo, you know, you know, you know wine people at restaurants Like I told dr. Pad or miss Pad. I told you the other day. I'm no fucking Jim. Jam. Jew. You know, I'm saying what's that mean? Jim. Jam. Jew. I'm no fucking genius I don't know nothing about nothing. I know about fucking I know what I fucking did for 30 years. I was a loser dog. I did drugs for 30 fucking years So all these drug counts like a suck my dick you want the master mix look a little he's chilling like a fucking doctor If you close your eyes right now, yeah, go up for two minutes beside the sound of the construction

Yeah, you think you're a fucking Bermuda Oh, I think you're sitting there laying there with the Sun somebody's licking your nuts How good do you feel? This is better than the fucking half a cookie. I told you who's the captain? I didn't complain about I gave you the half a cookie to take you outside of your realm Sometimes you got to go on the deep end and swim around but today where are you you're in the fall? You're in four feet of water nothing can happen to you. You're like a fucking doctor. It's nice That's what the best thing about Mondays are you're a fucking doctor, so that's what I'm trying to tell you all these drug Countesses that I could figure out the problem for you got a coke problem. You hit me up

You got an H problem. You hit me to fuck up. We'll get your fucking cleaning sober You'll still be addicted, but maybe it'll be a chibichu. So I better put a needle in your fucking arm every week Can't even imagine can you fucking imagine so what do you think? Because it's gonna come out after the the miss Pat one when she said she never used it Is that surprising to you like how can you be around something like with you who got hooked on it? Like what how did that how did that affect you? Listen brother every with psychopaths. Let's get this down. I'm a fucking psychopath, okay? Yeah, we're nice people all humans

But you got to break yourself up and in that craziness we do certain things. I snorted coke 364 days of the year the only day I took off was New Year's Eve You think that was my biggest day. Yeah, but for some fucking reason I Didn't fucking work on New Year's. I didn't snort coke on New Year's fucking day. Okay. Okay, New Year's Eve Whatever the fuck I had little quirks You know Listen, man, I broke into people's houses. I sold my soul You know, I robbed drug dealers a lot of some some kid hit me up the other day

He goes, I hope you raise your daughter better than they raised you and robbing people's hard-earned money No, I never robbed nobody's hard-earned money. You fucking jerk off. I robbed drug dealers Once you go into that realm or anything that goes in with that realm is Fucking legit. I'm writing a book the other day And I was writing a description of who I was in 1984 And I was a loser but my hobby was drugs and everything that came with it She even said that she expects to get robbed like you it's drugs and everything that comes with it my friend I never busted into a guy's like Lee's house and took his computer and pawned it

I didn't know nothing about that shit. That's that, you know, I felt bad. That was my thing I would feel bad if I had a robbery You know I'm saying even though I kidnapped Bella that time. There was a lot of things I wouldn't do, you know All those years I never robbed the car. I always thought robbing the car was the dumbest fucking thing in the world because you're in it I can't get out of that mess. I'm in the fucking car with a check or a weapon I could throw it down a fucking thing and buy me an hour was the time and even if they find it You could argue wasn't in your pocket with a car. I got no fucking argument. It's right. I'm in it fuck

So you gotta remember there's certain things that people will do And certain things that they won't do, you know, I listen man. I was never fucking. I never did sexual tricks for fucking drugs I never the drug didn't push me to that. I wasn't like Martin Downey Jr. In That one movie that he did about drugs when he plays the tree. You never seen the movie 87. That's his best part of all time Robert Downey He plays a junkie kid. Okay, that's his best fucking movie and This but he's drooling and he has to suck guys dicks for coke. No, I don't know about that. Oh, I know you never went that far bro, just that world I

Do certain things and you have limitations and listen, I never really thought I would kidnap somebody the day I did it I had limitations the day I did it that type of deal I went to prison and let me tell you something guys. I'm not gonna lie. Nobody here. I got in trouble in 88 and 93 I did another drug rip With some friends of mine, and it scared the shit out of me like I couldn't believe I was there again And I remember getting to the car and going if I make it home, I'm done And I think two months after that. I went back to Colorado raised Jackie. That's a true story I've never told anybody on the podcast or anything. No, I've never heard. No

I did another drug rip with some guys in New York and it was so fucking scary and I got no reason to lie to you guys I was Three minutes from shit in my pants and having a heart attack, but it wasn't that I was fear from being there robbing these guys It was the fear that I couldn't believe I was putting myself back in this position again Yeah, I could not fucking believe that after the time and And I was letting society beat me and that was one thing at that time I swore would not let society beat me again if I did blow I'd do it under the radar But this guy was with my goombas

He was one of my friends and I knew that you know when he came to me I couldn't say no and I avoided him I thought he was fucked with me because he was fucked up like me But thank God it all worked out and I moved on and I never put a weapon in my hand again I never wanted that stuff in my life again, man. So It just fucking hurts me talking about it because it was the most foolish mistake of my life Yeah, I mean you must was it was was it like Did you almost get caught or what? No, it wasn't even close. We kicked down the door

They were on the living room. We made them get down He went through it. I didn't have to go through anything. I didn't go through anybody's pockets I just sat there with a gun in my hand. If anybody made a move you want to talk about fear You want to talk about being fucking scared guys Just praying that nobody moves praying because You might not be scared to shoot them or you're that stupid And you do shoot them and these guys laid there it took fucking It took fucking four minutes, but it felt like a half hour

And I remember running down those fucking stairs and all I wanted to do was get rid of that fucking gun That's all I wanted to fucking do was get rid of that fucking gun man And I remember getting the car and putting the gun and telling them to drop me off And I'm going wine I made up a story right there in the car because what if they call the cops and they're looking for Fucking four guys. Let's break it down somebody else take a fucking train too And I made them drop me over 178 and that was the end of that I fucking Bailey I had maybe like how I didn't have an aneurysm On the bus ride over that fucking bridge back to New Jersey. I'm never figure out. I'm never fucking figure out

You talk a lot about how like Being a friend is important and if you get in something I'll like I'll support you like that thing But like I don't know the story. So I don't know what friend it is but like when you like After that's done Do you get pissed off that your friend who knows you just got a jail for it? What do people put you in that situation? Like is that pissing me off? I get pissed off at my loyalty I got pissed off at my loyalty

You know, I got pissed off for putting myself in that situation. It wasn't his fault I could have been the bigger man, but I also know what I went through with that kid I also know what he went through with me, you know, and I couldn't say no What if he had gone and I didn't go and he got shot? You understand me dog. So yeah in my mind. There were so many stupid fucking things I still love that person until today. I love him. I love him till the end of time. He was my brother He was a criminal, but guess what he gave me rides to comedy gigs. I don't know a lot of fucking common Regular people that give fucking people rides to comedy gigs when I'm getting no fucking money

Right. So because of that, that's why I did it because it was many times. I called him and said, hey dog I ain't got a dime and I'm stuck here and he go where yet Walk to this corner. I'll be there in 15 fucking minutes You know, so you have to understand I knew him, you know at the time I was uh, maybe 30 Yeah, and I knew him 15 of those years. It wasn't like some guy bumped into on the street I knew where he came from. I knew where his house was. I knew where his heart was And I knew that if the tables were turned around He'd shoot a motherfucker for me in a new work minute

It's just crazy because like knowing that puts his pride and his love in your heart Can't even but also knowing that I could have done 15 to 20 years for him puts Right after you got out and uh, it was uh, let's say I got out in 89 This was either 93 or 94 93 and then like just Last night you were like why like I was telling this pack. I can't I can't none of this I can't relate to any of this So it's not judgment, but it's like fucking like when you said like what if he went and he got shot when I was there like

Oh, I can't even I can't imagine Getting into like okay. I get addicted If I had to like if I had to rob somebody to get cheeseburgers I wouldn't have cheeseburgers anymore. I can't being that addicted but then getting into it like Okay, we can make a little money if we sell what we have Okay, we can make more money if we go and rob this guy. I'm like Fuck I can't imagine carrying a gun Lee. I wasn't addicted to the coke I was addicted to the danger. Oh

It was a good to everything that came with it I was addicted to knowing that at any time somebody could be looking for me That's terrible. You don't want to fucking ever pull a gun If I'm sitting here and tell you people that I wanted to pull a gun on people all my life I'm fucking lying to you. I prayed to god. I'd have to fucking pull that gun. But just knowing that it's there Knowing that it's fucking there That whole lifestyle comes with so much drama But then again, it comes with so much laughter

And so much craziness like I sit here sometimes now and just fucking laugh Because everything else means nothing now I used to walk into a room with guns and try to put you together to give me fucking Two ounces of coke and walk out of there now I walk into rooms to do auditions and I convince you to fucking give me a role in your stupid movie Or your stupid fucking TV show. So what's the difference? What have I learned? It's that guys It's been a fucking hell of a ride, man. You want to judge somebody you fucking want to judge them Hey, I'm no fucking top notch fucking comic. I'll let him in whatever

But like I told you motherfuckers I knew that if I talked to you guys and told you where my heart was you don't understand This is why this is great what we do and people come out and people email us And we have a great time because people understand man. So what I made mistakes. So what mrs. Pat made mistakes We all fucking made mistakes Now we we we live a great life and we're telling people What I'm telling you Lee. I'm I told you something I haven't told nobody Nobody that I felt fucking horrible about for 30 fucking years and I didn't plan on telling you this today

I didn't plan this this just came out of my heart today, you know, so Thank you for understanding. What do you think about looking back at it? Like looking back at the actions now? Are you like that's fucking crazy? Like I just like I can't imagine there's no looking back. I just giggle. I just fucking giggle I just I'm happy. How do you think? It like I don't maybe it's because I'm high But like you grew up like in a pretty middle-class town and there's some towns Like even let's just say your time in my town. We're only six hours apart. We're not that different

How could people grow up so close to each other? And your life is fucking robbing coke dealers And I I could never hold a gun I could hold the gun but I could never I was always worried if I put it in my pocket a holster I never trusted the safety So like I'll never shoot never shoot myself But like how does it how did two people like not even like america and iraq like two people in the same zip code can grow up totally different lives

It's the energy. It's fucking crazy. It's amazing who you really are when you're like seven or eight Or even 10 or 11 or 12. Those are your common core beliefs when you're 12 You you don't want to kid is 13. You're like, what are you gonna be? I'm gonna be a carpet and he's kind of goofy or whatever But you have common little beliefs that and I have those beliefs again after I stopped doing drugs and started full I got my beliefs back and I realized I couldn't carry a gun. That's how I knew I wasn't It's not that I was crazy because if I was still crazy I'd carry a gun It was just a weakness in my heart at the time

It was just you get you get these holes in your fucking heart from time to time and you have to fill them And once you fill them all then Then you know, you can move forward. I wasn't prepared to move forward. I had all these holes in my game, man And that was one of them. That was one of them robbing drug dealers. That was one of them doing drugs That was one of them, you know all those years the people I was hanging out with were my friends There was a lot of people in that corps that were my fucking blood. They were my blood So I want you to understand that I was with family when I was in colorado Doing that dumb shit. I was with jimmy burkle a lot of times

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Don't write the scale. Let's say you have a tanning salon. Take a chance. Put a fucking thing in there What do you got to lose? Let's say you have a fucking massage party. I want to suck in dick Think about after somebody sucks your dick. You put him in a flow check tations They'll be back the following week with a finger up the ass and a fuck. I'm just dropping ideas to you Let's say, you know, let's say you do Let's say you're a dick sucking your home and you're sucking dick and giving a massage Call Jeremy get a flotation tank. You throw the fucking victims in the flotation tank afterwards Let them get their head together. Nobody does that. That's the extra step if you're gonna be a professor

Maybe they can figure out a way to give you your colonoscopy in the tank It was the last time I hit you in the head with a fucking where's where's my song today. It's monday cocksucker Little tony Bennett. I want to be around out of respect. I love you guys. I ain't going nowhere We're just playing some music here for you having a good time on the church today. It's monday The ninth of june. You bad motherfuckers Are you fucking kidding me or what time for a mate Smart It's monday. Well, you got none after this you got none to pack all you gotta do is take a walk right from here

What time No, no 12 to 4 12 to 4 cut it out. You gotta know where they go. Put the music on Who leave you to learn What's that? What is that a little girl vape? I was going on. Do the fucking vape the right you holding your mouth I saw it. You gotta See it expanding your lungs and your belly push it and then go slow slow slow. That's a boy Hold it There you go. There you go one more one more for the communists

Listen, look at the fucking shape of you Let's see if the puzzle Fits you bad motherfuckers Monday get it together wash your feet clean your asshole. You don't want to be out there snicking up the fucking joint Then you wonder why you got no friends Are you kidding me or what turn that off knock something never kidding It's a beautiful day to be alive So we did that pat last night miss pat and then you got finally today. We did our thing

We want to see you till next fucking monday now cocksucker. That's how I roll. Maybe we'll do some wednesday. I don't know See how the jew feels Okay, we'll see how the jew feels Look at this shape of you I was telling you guys a couple weeks on a live podcast if you listened to the last one from the ice house Was it richa? Oh, no, it was aria shafia. Yeah It was aria shafia that uh I always felt laurence fishburn was the best fucking black actor

And uh, I wanted to prove my point this morning. You can't watch it unless you're watching a lot and you could see it You could hear it. This is the opening scene From the king in new york a little gift for you motherfuckers on monday if you want to watch it with this I mean and not if you're watching live, but if you're listening just pause it and go to it's called king of new york Intro drug deal uncut and i'm gonna start it at 21 seconds. All right guys check this fucking shit out. All right I love you guys. See you uh next monday. Please stay black. Do what the fuck you want to do grab your balls It's monday. Tell them all to suck your dick. It's your fucking world. All right. No, no put the thing on Just in case

Yo tools, oh boy. What's up? What? It's taking so long man. Who's he talking to? Uh, look, uh, uh, we're crazy guys. Maybe we have to get busy. Why don't you do what you got to do so we can get busy? I think it was large fish burn calm down. All right, relax. I'm sure you had dude. He's way out the coast It's dope it's dope Tito Yo, man, you forget the feeling you's being watched Yeah

Got any uh soda man like some rupee or something. I heard my leg playing ball man. I got these aspirins I want to take You know What the fuck is he yo man tell him to turn this shit off What kind of help you got man watching cartoons tell my man to turn the tv off and get me a soda For for board please Yeah, it makes you it's cold I like my shit cold man, especially when i'm playing ball man. You play ball Tito Now you don't look like you're playing a ball, but yo nice club strong. I like those

It jump. Yeah, what's up? It's copacetic man. Now, maybe you're satisfied No, maybe now i want to check out another one. Fuck. I look like Joe neck for a man trusting one of my stronger qualities You're fucking disrespect me man. I guarantee the shit not the hell we're testing and let's get to the large plus 10 percent Did he say 10 percent Wait a minute Tito man. We had a deal man. What's up? What 10 percent you're talking about man transportation cost amigo I got expenses. We'll take the train if you got expenses and transportation, man Why do you want to be greedy Tito you fuck the sucking greed? That's our price. No one else even talks to you goddamn Motherfucking corn. You'll stop take it or leave it

Why you want to talk to me like that man take it or leave it? Take it or leave it I take it Because I like you i'ma take it just like this shit up How's about that? You in power Tito you in power Beauty came I

Where's my soda Ha ha ha ha ha The fuck is this live in a bullet hole Commanders mother fuckers room service mother fuckers So if you're bored and you want to see a real fucking movie this weekend On your own just watch king of new york for a little while and watch lauren's fish burns acting He looks so fucking young. He's like woke smith. He's fucking badass in this And uh, you got the uh, westley snipes is in this you got a red dog is in this the guy from my csa miami

You've got tremendous actors in this a couple character actors You might see great fucking movie christopher walk in tremendous the attorney is badass He looks a little like felicia the attorney in this movie really like felicia. Yeah So watch the movie. There you go. You got a complete podcast for you You got a whole week to fucking meditate on these things. We got miss pat We got today's we got fucking robles. We got gabriel. We love you mother fuckers All right. Have a great week stay black. Don't let nobody fuck with you. Don't let nobody fuck with you All right, you got a dream fuck them all come to suck your dick. You're the baddest mother fuck in the room when you walk in

I don't give a fuck what they tell you strap a fucking pair on cocksuckers. It's monday You're taking somebody fucking down today drop it lea Now that the show is over remember to go to naturebox.com and order a great tasting healthy snacks at 50 off 50 cocksuckers now today It's next martin the new year with healthy and delicious treats like everything bagel chips and surrogate cashews Uh support this podcast and get 50 off of your first order go to naturebox.com promo code joey That's naturebox.com promo code joey Go to nailed it life.com to get the premier vapor friend on the market Mention joey Diaz and get 20 off

Go to escape pot tank.com and call it or call jeremy at the 800 number and he'll save you $250 off of flotation tank and thank you to honor.com for all of your brain supplements and battle ropes I'm gonna choke you one of them cocksucker play the music. We I was proud of myself. I did most of that on top of my head Oh, shit. Oh, shit Are you kidding me or what? Have a great day motherfuckers

It's all about you and the other a fucking day anywhere, right? Hit it Oh Oh I'm up Oh But I can't get any lower So now you know

Show me the power of child That I'm down on each new day Lake use me the butterfly excuse me away And I'm not bought my freedom again I'm feeling I'll shine I'll shine I'll shine I'll shine Oh Yeah

Oh Oh Show me the power child That I'm down on my knees today Yeah, it gives me the butterflies gives me away That I'm up on my feet again Oh feeling I'm feeling show me the power child. I'd like to say

That I'm down on my knees today And yeah, it gives me the butterflies gives me away That I'm up on my feet again Oh feeling Oh