Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #190 - Joey Diaz, Dom Irrera and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: June 25, 2014

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined by Comedian Dom Irrera in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for 50% off your first order. Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by mentioning the Church. Recorded live on 06/23/2014.

This show is sponsored by nature box where you can order great tasting healthy snacks right to your door snacks smarter in the new year with healthy and delicious treats like Santa Fe corn sticks and french toast granola support this podcast and get 50% off of the first order go to naturebox.com promo code joey that's naturebox.com promo code joey this podcast is also brought to you by onnet.com go there for all your supplements and battle ropes and and for 10% off of supplements use the code word church and go to naileditlife.com for the premier vapor pen on the market that can you can use wax and oil mention joey d as i get 20% off are you fucking kidding me or what droppin on you cock suckers on a monday night this is

mccarty after the fucking Beatles when he said yoko suck my dick it's over i'm starting my own fucking family i'm like the fucking gambino's it's over and this is what he came up with right here and if you look at the album cover i was telling my main man damarera and lisa yeah if you look at the fucking album cover let me tell you how much power po mccartney had james cobrin's on the album listen to him drop this are you fucking kidding me this is the eighth grade finger banger the chick behind the church right here this is joey d is at the cyo basketball dancing slow with them and shit breathing on their fucking neck the priest is watching you the nuns are watching you but you don't give a fuck jack my dick is harder than

i'm getting something tonight a hand job i'm sucking a tip something i don't give a fuck about the priest i brought a half a pint of blackberry brandy somebody's sucking my dick i don't give a fuck if it's a janitor you know look over here oh shit here we go people listen to this i'm teaching you mother fuck it's something you guys listen to chris brown listen to this shit oh you break out the fucking reefer the bazookas get a taliban stab him in the fucking neck we're going deep tonight i don't give a fuck oh shit golly wiggle funk with joey a little something it's mother like cocked i can oh shit give her ever get out so you're sitting there thinking what's gonna happen next oh shit are you fucking cut that fucking thing

leave before i have to go pick up a ten dollar bag of heroin here don marrera in the house lisa at what's happening joey dears it's great to have you on a monday night fuck it was special edition well thank you my brother you're a good man you've been on the road banging it and still out there i flew her 30 000 miles in the last couple months that's the whole world's only 24 000 miles you know what i did it joe for them you're bad the people the little people the scum and the vermin who can't write and have to come and suck off our talent as bastards 30 000 miles away yeah what would you do in the back sitting there eating tuna fish hand which is a fucking pakistanian people breathing on you're taking their sandals off rubbing their fucking no cream feet in your fucking area what

would you do it sounds terrible it's a very loaded question tremendous uh fuck we're at the ice house this week don marrera myself and leo be up there fucking around and we figured we'd do a monday thing just so everybody second annual right yeah you did it last year yeah we did it last time this time fuck yeah the week before the fourth of july yeah i did that kilton in the other night and i plugged uh the you i heard that you fucking ripped it up oh i don't know but even rogan said that he goes don marrera joe he was in his own fucking vibe he goes once he knows he has him it's good night iran he goes and he's a slow he goes if that was like a a choke he would have had him for nine minutes he goes he's like a slow choke he goes he's just fucking but it's a fun show it's fun yeah

kilton he's a good kid red bands a good kid yeah doing a good fucking job with it we should do it together sometime yeah it was uh friday i had to do something it was right in the middle there you guys did that eight or something ten ten because i would never made it back and that's why he's gonna get nine you gotta be there the fucking ten you know so you ever see any of the kiltonys yeah yeah they put it up on uh like youtube so i've watched a couple you like them yeah it's fun it's fun to watch the one with uh tom segura and burt went on there that's pretty funny and the comics are bad they're good they're so bad they're good they're so bad they make me laugh and they go up do material yeah a minute of material yeah one guy his whole bit was on uh forest gump i said

way to keep your finger in the pulse of what's happening today what about that going with the wind that was a movie huh he's doing for fucking forest gump and it was pretty good i mean it would have been great 20 years ago it's amazing took him a while to write that bit i guess 20 fucking years he's a perfectionist it's amazing don to disclose your eyes and to think when you were doing that a minute two minutes i remember looking at larry miller and he did 20 minutes ago how the fuck can anybody remember 20 minutes you know what i mean because like when you start now it's like oh my god because when you start with five minutes actually i started out what an hour i told i'm kidding i told joe i told rogan he goes well when you started i said well my first set was on a

tonight show then i went downhill from there wow i'm kidding joe no i know i'm just uh i did three minutes what was your first joke you remember i had two jokes that i remember hit me one was uh my father left home when i was in second grade never cheated on my mother used to cheat on me pick up other kids after school take them to the zoo take them to play ball one day came to me he says look at him i got a little i met another kid for the first time in my life i feel like a real father that was one and the other one was i said that his barmaid uh barmaid bartender i said uh why's come out with me tonight she goes i don't know i said listen i guarantee any woman three screaming orgasms tonight i don't know what she does but i scream like a bitch in he but fourth

time my throat gets dry that was my big that was my set and i built from there joey how about you what's your first you remember something about godzilla the godzilla made a comeback something about the hutch and river something fucking stupid i remember one time i saw in the daily news i saw something about and i really saw this about a boat full of Puerto Ricans hit the dock at the west side whatever and that's what i was doing calm at the beginning i'm gonna be going some about a boat full of Puerto Ricans hit the dock that's nothing i don't god only fucking knows god only knows where did you did you start in new york i started in denver i didn't know that i started at the county works the works with with wendy with wendy that's the first time i

did you still do it no i'm banned i'm banned you're banned why because when i first thought well it's really interesting because they didn't let the band go what is this what are you p rose corporate band i'm like i'm like p rose i started in denver and then i clicked around denver june august september and then in bolder they did a contest called the boulder broker was sponsored by bex beer that's when there was a lot of contest and regional contest and national contest who was the other one who was the big one they did johnny walker or the johnny walker did one you were way beyond that shit you were way beyond that shit at that time because i remember going down to denver and seeing the local guys todd jordan and uh he was the guy with the hook

roger written roger written he was a good writer good great writer still around still writing for somebody i know that he's even writing for larry the cable guy he's doing something that guy's always got his hand he's always got his hook and something that fucking guy what is his hook but he's a bro he's the he's a good guy he was out here for yeah he's a good guy he's a really good guy so i just went to denver first then i did the contest in bolder but they had a magician dominor that a magician who was the worst magician ever not only was his skills bad but he had no no personality communication skill even the birds would leave like they would they would disappear for good like fuck you they would leave them and one day i went to the management and i go listen

i'm fucking 25 26 is some shit nah maybe uh i was after yeah i was 27 28 i was long in the two take a look at this fucking guy's bringing four people they were down to a steak and comedy night 1495 a prime rib steak from the broker which is world fucking class and comedy sundays they did two prime rib no two movies in a prime rib packed packed nobody knew nothing nobody sued them every sunday they had a different theme charles bronson something and you went and ate a prime rib with pyjamas on they had couches in there was fucking primo this place i said you got a hip place you got a fucking magician that's terrible let me go in there and i fucking started going in there on tuesdays i won the contest they made me the house emcee and i would have to go up every

tuesday with new material down because i had the same regulars eat the steak that's a good way to grow they went to eat the fucking steak that's all they cared about so i had my goal wasn't even to make them laugh my goal was just to make them pop their head up like to glance at you yeah you don't know what it is to do comedy when people are looking at a fucking steak and enjoying it so i had to be funnier or better than the fucking steak took me six months to figure that out it wasn't like so i was like what the fuck don't even look at me i go i got to be funnier than just to make you you know i did a gig where they were playing backgammon at the front like right in front of the stage just fucking playing back but how your people shushed me i'm concentrating

i'm fucking trying to make them laugh horrible you you really uh it really is a point when you're doing comedy it had to be like a 98 for me when i realized that this was just fucking crazy that it was just craziness when i was living what i was doing the belief system i had i never knew i would be nothing i just thought i would be a traveling comic i always remember you being being good though because i would watch you at the comedy store when you're doing your first start to get in main room spots and i'm not saying that like the sammy mordland show just to stroke it but i never saw you bad i had a hard time i had a hard time but this was i didn't see no no this was following you i always tell rogan that my education at the store

that you know no matter what happened i love mittie shore because she was a genius she knew how to develop people yeah and there was a lot of times when i wanted to quit because she would put i either had a follow dom or ever i just said the fucking kid's name at the joe rogan's last wednesday the black kid with dreadlocks black kid black of it what dreadlocks that was very clean uh and he was very likeable and that was on the weekends that was on fridays and saturdays from fucking tuesday to thursday not jam not jamal jamal yeah yeah jamal and then from aj jamal aj jamal he was good yeah and then from tuesday to thursday she had me up there with fucking mooney at midnight so i was at 12 20 which really meant 10 after one yeah 120 you know an

hour behind schedule how hot was the store then though it was how hot was it when you first got there how was the evolution nobody could you know you look at pictures now somebody gave me a kennison book rent ban game he goes he had two of them and he gave me one and the other day i was just i got to pack this to read this on the plane this is a six-hour fucking flight you know when i opened them i saw some of the pictures and it was the comedy store makes me sad i can't it's rough really yeah i same i loved sam crazy as he was i could never hang with him because i could never be part of a posse but individually like around the club we used to have a ball he was a good dude i mean you know he had his fucking demons but he had a he had a heart you know it's amazing what went on

there oh it's crazy we had a lot of gunplay and fucking great porn stars and bob seager and joni michael just to like it was i was i did the longest yard and it was very fortunate that every once in a while somebody would come over to me and say i would tell you night about the comedy store and i'm talking about from burt reynolds to dom delouise that's something to me when they burt reynolds brought dom delouise and burt loves i i didn't know burt reynolds but i did his roast yeah his roast but i didn't really know him but dom delouise i knew well and funny motherfucker they were talking about going to the store burt reynolds was telling me on one night they knocked on the door and it was willie nelson with a fucking guitar he goes here we are at the fucking store

five in the morning and willie nelson's playing a fucking guitar no you know willie fucking nelson 1980 whatever you know when you're sitting you hear these stories that andy garcia was a doorman yeah well answered the phone and he was in the improv group there when did you get i got there in 86 i think i walked into that place the first time ever in 1997 january 29th in 1997 oh i thought you were there earlier now i walked into the store and it was a monday night and the first person i seen walking out was eddie griffin and the black kid from the dragon movie the show gonna harm him you ever see that movie the last dragon that's a fucking classic it's a black martial arts spoof with the chick that was dating prince

and he was there and my tongue just fucking dropped eddie griffin used to be a doorman there and he uh then he went when remember when he used to do those really long sets he would say like it would just state the obvious it always made me laugh like here we go you know what we gotta do get the kids in compton stop giving them guns and knives and give them papers and pencils and books educate them like who's gonna fucking disagree with that ah fuck education give them more guns who gives kids guns anyway you remember remember him like going on and on four hours i'm going up you know you went you you always booked things i was always taught to book thing and then ended up at the store so i would book felipe's bars his room

or willy bar center's room somebody always had a $50 room or $35 room that you drove out they gave you a few tacos right talk shit you had 1115 at the store and before you went up even if this show was lately like let's say a wednesday night so i would have an 815 at the improv and then i had a 930 uh felipe's place the taco place it was 40 bucks in the dinner i knew that that show was always gonna start late but i'd have an 1145 at the store before i even walked into felipe's place i would call the store and go what's going on and then they're like don't even worry about a dice and eddie griffin are here you know that means like don't even come down no but how do you know when you're ready to start doing that because like

what if like you some open markets start doing two hours no no no they would never work they'd shoot them but when those days when andrew who else mooney was bumping there was a couple people that had the green light you were bumping were you not i never never bumped you i'm not about the books no i don't i don't do that you know it's a cold-blooded thing the way in brothers what bump is at the store if i had to go on i would ask somebody ahead of me can i do five because i'm i'm doing a tv show or something i never i never did that to people you know why because it was done to me and it sucked and i remember the feeling your fucking heart's pounding because you're about to go on and then somebody they introduce somebody else and they go can you

wait five minutes he's doing something then they'll tell you they're only going to do seven minutes and they end up doing 35 fucking minutes and you're sitting there paul rod rickus did that to me once at the impromptu they do it all the time he said i'm just going to do five but he was doing well so he did 25 okay thanks paul that's what i get for doing your favor no i mean it always comes down to that when they run it i i could never do that to someone i was i came up and then would she give you a light three minutes at three minutes if you didn't get off don't even call there for two or three months don't even fucking call there and that's i always thought you had a respect to comic in front of you but you had a respect to comic behind you if you're destroying

the room and you go six over i'm not going to be mad at you but if you have a 20 minute spot and you do 92 and any griffin would do three and dice would do one and a half but he was like speak he was like public speaking and like free association was like comedy and people sitting there and for four hours late well i always wondered that when they give you the light is it like do one more joke because like people you know you like go on and they do like five more minutes well no the light what's it Joey about three more three minutes three minutes it's a guide it's a guide to let you know to wrap it up once you get that light you start thinking about the bit that's three fucking minutes plus the minute you're gonna fiddle faddle and you get the fuck

out and that's mutual respect that's something that has nothing to do really with comic it has to do with your mother toy your father toy your respect your friends whatever it's the same fucking thing you know and i see a bro i've been there you're in a fucking different mindset you tried that joke the energies with you run with it motherfucker but for you to be bombing that we've seen people that started off great for 28 minutes yeah and in the last 20 the last hours just public speaking what do you expect that to kick in and just public public speaking i was up there one night in the very beginning and it was i liked him the gay guy that that louis anderson put on as a talent coordinator that was my first talent coordinator

he's an african now he loved me and i loved him i really did he's a gay i used to bring him he was a boozer tremendous oh steven uh no no no because i was there for cori Cuomo and then before cori it was the kid from from uh from boston kelly that i just i just worked with frank kelly what's not kelly danny kelly but before danny kelly there was a talent coordinator that's who passed me and i remember giving him a bottle of fucking tequila one day in the morning and i went up there at night to do my spot and he was like i killed that fucking bottle thank you and he had in his drawer what the fuck and he still writes me facebook's twice a year he did not like joe rogan did not like joe rogan that talent coordinator and what happened was i was there

the night that dice wasn't wanted to throw out mike marino and luca palanca why because he said they were stealing his act so he actually had the talent coordinator up there 11 o'clock at night luca palanca went up first they didn't know they were getting set up luca and mike marino they're up there doing their spot and the talent coordinator dice and somebody was with dice in the back and they and dice is young look at them they're doing the act they're doing my act and he's going i cannot throw money here they're not doing your jokes and i remember dice i've never had a conversation with andrew never before that and he walked over to me and he goes hey you you you listen to this what do you think about this are they doing my material and i go

when people start in comedy they do somebody else's patois until they find their own that he's not stealing from you it's like a compliment you know i tried to explain to him that the once they figure out who they are then you'll slip away from their lives but for right now you know and whatever i agree with him or not he never spoke to me after i told about a week later and he goes i thought about what you said but that talent coordinator i was the first guy i had who you had you had all of them you had all the classic ones they talk about there was one girl it was talent coordinator and she ended up like kind of i don't know if she like lifted a club from mitzi in hawaii or something but she was running the club in hawaii and then she took it off of mitzi because mitzi couldn't

get back and forth and that was i forget her name i don't know i mean i remember what dunkin did it dunkin was a talent coordinator yes funny dunkin trussell was a talent coordinator at the store and he was very good and he never told me he was doing stand-up then i go in the in the uh the original room one night and he's in there what i'm doing the ventriloquist act real real funny real dirty thinking well he never even fucking mentioned it to me he's uh yeah he was a talent he's smart man he replaced danie kelly he was the phone guy so in those days the national he replaced cori quomo dunkin replaced cori quomo cori quomo oh cori the one who married freddy freddy princess cori right i never i didn't know who he meant by that last name

cori quomo and then freddy once she stopped dunkin took her spot then tomi took dunkin's job that's the evolution of the talent coordinator so the guy who was answering the phones got from order to making the entire lineups yeah it's pretty crazy but he but he had to approve it with missy right but he has to sell the names so he who called in for monday this guy this guy this guy missy put him here okay put him on 1115 fuck him fuck him you know she had no great she hated or loved yes you know i'm i want you to be more italian he's she bought me black shirts to wear in vegas you should be more you're you're italian and we're black you know she took she said jackson perdu back fired him from a gig we're playing basketball i said they were in vegas because

she sent me home because i wasn't the right color for the you know my aura he said my aura wasn't the right color she wanted a lavender aura and his was like deep blue but how about having much that controlled our lives y'all getting spots it was such a big deal you know i can't even imagine being down there with kettison you and jimmy schubert or schubert was schubert was a kid then a kid roseanne uh yeah roseanne sam but very good shows a lot of people were doing television you know it was a really exciting time there then there was really a dearth of talent for like about eight years nobody good now there's a bunch of good guys you know i mean if you where do you go in town i know you go to the ice house

but where else in the ice house i'll drop into flappers i'll stop at john lovitz during the week if i go on the road i don't have i don't have the energy monday tuesday wednesday to be out bang on like i used to yeah you know i could go out seven nights a week you know three shows a night if i leave at four in the morning thursday morning you know i'm done the two podcasts this guy's podcast see a young buck like me i'm out there all right you're out of there every night almost yeah every night i love it and then some weeks like this week i'm out a couple nights you know you're out some nights more than others next week i'm out a bunch of nights then after that i got three weeks in a row so i think i have like two tuesdays or something like that i look forward to

working with you this weekend oh no we're gonna have a good time at the ice house that's such a when i first got here i can't be i can't lie to you i was very selfish about the ice house they said what the fuck am i gonna drive the pasadena for yeah that's the only downside yeah well i got the lab factories half a mile from my house right i was like what the fuck am i gonna drive the fucking pasadena for i'm gonna drive the fucking pasadena the broody would call me and then they would call me for dirty shows i did it because of rogan yeah rogan was calling me to do his uh Wednesday night show and look what it's become yeah it's become a great little room it's oh yeah those two rooms the stage two when we first did the stage two we had nine people

oh yeah for the you can we even before tessical testaments when you were doing your one man show on a wednesday night there we used to how many nine people now oh my god wednesday nights are tremendous now we're in the big room now we're in the big room you know we started we kept doing the podcast it's amazing what this has become you know i wish in many ways i wish we could have done this at the store but that was another time a lot of another place for me you know a lot of people well they bet on the wrong horse with joe because they could have made a lot of money with rogan there too but you know they they had the thing with carlos and all that you know the whole story it's funny because i took that very personally and i stopped going like i was like

you know what what really happened was about two or three months before that i was in there and i went upstairs to pick up a check when i came down mitzi was sitting there and i said something to her but i heard her say something as i was walking down the stairs about somebody i don't know who she was talking about i know that she was answering somebody like tommy right and just her reply sounded so fucking evil there was a time there always comes a time in somebody's life where you see them for what they are and you either choose to hang with them after that or choose not to hang with them after that and that was the first time i was like she's fucking crazy oh do you want to do my show wednesday night yeah okay i'll put you in absolutely it's

called the bust breaking balls with domarera the laugh factory i love it uh eight o'clock wednesday night wednesday i'll definitely be there that was you want to go in around nine right nine o'clock all right that was the first time ever that i got hurt by mitzi sure listen when i got here that was my dream commie stores you're fucking dreamed up you know i didn't even know about the laugh factory i know about the improv but right well laugh factory wasn't nearly as hot then no wasn't they grew they probably have the most they probably make the most money in the city now yeah that's the hot club that's the hot club i'm happy you're a fucking part of your savage but i did the improv in the commie store no i know you don't give a fuck no i know you know you do i like all three

clubs i my reason i do the improv as much because it's an extra half mile to drive so fucking lazy i've got if i could do stand up from my house and a hammock i would love that how great to have like a room with different sets yeah like the improv set the commie store set some obscure set like a bar with like a bomb sleeping you just pop in like how you doing wednesday night directly from the that's could be the fucking future i did i do i did the commie store in sydney that's weird i do the commie store in london the guy in london said to me i said you copied her exactly goes so what's she gonna do sue me he says i'm in london i don't give a fuck all right nice you couldn't create your your own comedy bash whatever make something else up does it look

exactly yeah it looks exactly like the original room only it's tiered you know other the bread's black with the white trim and that's yeah it's exactly the the one in austria is not does not look like it but it is weird to be working three comedy stores because i'm a comedy whore joey you know don at the end of the week you just work in a room yeah you just work in a room once you take away the fucking lights and the two drink minimum you're just basically working you know it's a great room i don't do many impromptu that you you ever did it one the hollywood uh the uh with the hard rock just did this summer isn't it great nice room nice people nice yeah i love that room for casino i like it yeah i like the i did the casino too but i mean i'm talking about the

improv there yeah yeah the flood yeah oh yeah because they because jake joe hanson i did it when tammy vance catella we did the casino which was nice and they you know they were they worked together so it's not a conflict but the but the comedy club itself is one of the best that i've ever been to there's some great clubs you know where i'd like to get you in with them this is not just about plugging my date the tropicana in atlantic city how is it it's great it's 2000 seats and not i'm not talking about the comedy club i'm talking about the the uh the showroom but you'd love it you know because they uh i i mean i'll put in a word if you want it's still bob kephard no no that's that's the comedy club i will yeah i don't work with him

but the the casino itself fucking great so what is bob kephard still at i just drew that name i just heard he has the comedy stop does he have a vagus also he used to now jamie has it now jamie now now that's the laugh factory and brad garret moved across the street but he's got a great club you ever do that one no fucking fun and most beautiful waitresses and i'm doing uh well i know that my buddy is the manager at the laugh factory in chicago oh that's good ryan morton is his name yeah good kid really nice young kid real comedy fan he says on his fridays and saturdays he's doing great with no name talent and stuff so chicago's a great comedy city yeah as long as you put something else with that it's funny don i i you know and i think i told you one of the podcasts before i'm sitting

here across from you and that rodney tape that you're on along with all those other guys but basically you probably saved my life it probably saved my fucking life wow let's have it saved my life when i saw that at least i knew there was hope for me as a human being and at that time i was in a halfway house i was on probation they were knocking on my door and i had a piss in the fucking jar every three days you don't know what it is to live with some the fucking knocks on your door at eight o'clock at nine i asked you to piss in the fucking jar what were you were arrested for what kidnapping oh you told me yeah yeah yeah so but you gotta go move somebody from one room to the other that's kidnapped that's it that's kidnapped i think i heard they changed a lot but

who gives a fuck i still broke it so but it was just funny i used to go to this video store in boulder and it was the biggest video store in colorado was three floors and i rented that tape so much that they wouldn't even charge me no more they stopped charging you rented the tape of the danger field of the danger field so much that the guy was like listen now i'm just rent another movie but i'll give you this on the house it's yours you know you should have just bought it that's how many times i rented that movie uh tell you a funny story joe about that uh bill hicks was on that right bill was a friend of mine now you build dice uh shimel shimel uh lenny clark carolee for and barry sobel so lenny clark opened it barry sobel was after him i don't remember i remember

when i went on after dice i think so it was hicks went before dice did he so oh it was barry sobel hicks dice and then you that me and then shimel probably but i remember the thing rick mesina comes up to me he goes go talk to hicks he's nervous this is bill hicks one you know fucking dear friend the great comedian so i go up to him and in the yard of danger fields wow i go hey i heard you nervous huh fucking pussy he looks at me he goes why i go you with the fucking collar up in the cigarette it's gonna let these people on timid day you fuck them go out there and you know and then he started laughing i think i loosened them up just by busting his balls but i mean bill hicks he's so fucking good

now at this time when you ever gotten this show how many years were you doing calmly well it was 86 87 so i was doing it for seven years oh my god and you met rodney at the store i don't know how yeah but i he got my name and what happened was i had a 10 minute audition and i go on this we were talking about earlier ties it together damon and barry sobel both friends of mine it was a 10 minute spot they both did 25 minutes each all right i'm fucking furious i go up and i just lay into both of them right now nobody's been better to me in this business and damon every time he gets a fucking show everything and i don't mean that i'm not slamming i'm just saying that was the moment i was angry they did i'm going what the fuck did they expect

to kick in at 22 minutes like they're gonna get funny it wasn't happening and i'm busting their balls so rodney comes up to me and i'm getting laughs you know and and rodney comes up to me goes you know kid you you're getting good laughs but you have no fucking material what you do is lay into people we can't put that on a special i go rodney i didn't do my act because i was fucking mad he goes well get it you know he says let me see you again then he saw me at the improv and then i got it then i did my act you know the italian stuff little pity big pity all that stuff that's amazing and where'd you show you shot the home danger field i what you shot the home the city in danger yeah yeah but you booked it out here right i booked it i booked it at the improv

even though he saw me at the store first and how many days did it take you guys all together be in the city i don't know you know because i still had a place in new york then so i i didn't like it wasn't like i was on the road in new york was still my home you know so it was it was very easy i mean it was so fucking easy i was you know like whatever six seven minutes i was really prepared for it you know i think i i think i got the tonight show first and then that but you know it was amazing was the the effect the immediate effect of it was like incredible i went to atlanta i had no idea what the impact it had and the place is fucking teaming with people it's packed and there's like there's guys with softball uniforms on and they had little pity

joey back at nolan's big pity regular pity all these names on it i had no idea it made us like instant draws if they liked us on it you know so it was really it was like watching it was like the sopranos of the day everybody watched it hbo didn't have as much competition then you know like for today's comedians it's different i mean the advantage is the podcast you know podcast people really are the people that come to comedy clubs do you agree yes yes absolutely you know that's an advantage but as far as like watching television like nobody watches the late night shows anymore i mean i still do them because of the ego and the fun of it and i hate writing those sets but i try but they don't really nobody says man i saw you in the craig

ferguson last night and they saw me on pet star on the animal planet that's what they saw me on how fucking sad is that that the staples of comedy that you thought 20 years ago and now gone you know it's evolved into something else at least at least the the podcast make you know make people that love it really into it you know the like i'm in ireland they go oh we we hear you and joe rogan down and fucking crack me up go i i listen to you on the way to work isn't that cool like some fucking i was in i was in sydney a couple weeks ago how cool is this this guy can he come up to me he says you know you changed my life man all this stuff i said well i don't know what the fuck i did he goes you know he didn't by the way you're my brother's favorite comedian he's from

new zealand i go oh really how and i'm i'm thinking his brother's like 30 40 i said how old's your brother he goes 15 i go 15 is a 15 year old kid he's fucking awkward new zealand i'm his favorite comedian so what the fuck's wrong with that kid i always in china right now is he really he's doing 100 seat little bars and he's selling out people from listen to the fucking podcast in shanghai and but it's just uh it's a couple years ago the thing went down with conan all right and they didn't want him on tv but but but i didn't want already on tv no no conan the guy that's on tbs now oh yeah yeah go to the right bro brian and i'm sitting there going i gotta be honest with you when i get home to 11 30 conan and brian is the last fucking thing i'm thinking about

this one he was in mbc yeah i mean i gotta be honest with you it's the last fucking thing that's even in my mind like i wouldn't even when i get home before if i get home before 11 30 out of respect for comedians i did this all for years i do i still do this i press the info button to see who knows tonight show to see who's on letterman to see who's on and i'll tape the set you know not to watch it but when they were gonna cancel remember all the people jumping up and down in fucking burbank whether they when they were watching the fucking show they canceled because there was no fucking numbers yeah it was amazing not because so it's so weird how that we have this really weird movement i don't know nobody who stays up to

watch tv when i was a kid and you went to school next day there was that kid next to you and you're like what's up dog i had to stay up last night watch bennie hill and the honeymoons and the odd couple i remember shit like that but nobody's ever told me they stay up to watch conan or brian so i don't know what kind of you know we had gabry on the show a glaciers and we were talking about that no matter how you cut it gabry was first big jump was from the tv show named k locos a fucking low budget show on spanish tv yeah that was seen all over fucking south america and those people sent tapes and vcr tapes and the rest is history you know he got more response from k local than somebody would get so you never really know the formula no more well that yeah the

danger field specials at that time if they liked you and everybody didn't break from it when you broke from it you broke pretty pretty big you know i mean it was a career maker with mazings you know seven minutes i remember watching sign fell down one yeah uh robert townsen roseanne was rosanna yours no that was only kennison because they put a little less let's stick roseanne it's just a brilliant you're looking at this and as a young comic i remember sitting there fucking confused scared married i had a job i was making okay money but i was far from what the fuck i wanted to do and i was play i would play those tapes and dream i never thought that i would be in that league but what a fucking nice dream to have you know to to to do that you

know now hbo is a stingy those those fucking things is whatever they give them to everybody else but the guys who deserve them anymore hbo well they're always trying to break the young guys which is you know i understand business wise but they always put robert kline on oh yeah that's true and i love robert kline but fucking enough already there's gotta be somebody else beside fucking robert kline we could fucking put on hbo the last couple specials on hbo you sit there and go you know put handle barris all right you don't like me you don't like dona rara put on handle barris you don't let you know dane cook i understood he was selling fucking tickets and people's bathroom people were fucking going to shows and sitting in the bathroom in toronto to listen to

dane cook i heard that when i wanted for the with the ufc were rogan to minneapolis or no minneapolis at the arena minneapolis he goes they were so sold out for dane cook people they had the speakers on the bathroom people paying 10 bucks to listen to dane cook in the fucking bathroom i paid 120 in my junior year of high school i took my junior prom date there to see at the place where the cell things played it was crazy how was it it was good i i loved his i don't think you can do comedy in the arena yeah i loved his first cd uh harmful swallow does that the one where he talked about punching bees and horses uh that one was great but no i mean i remember when cds used to count and now no one buys cds anymore like people that's how i found out about

dane cook because my wrestling captain had his cd and one of the long drives to a tournament and now because of digital no one really has him anymore only did you listen to when you were growing up anybody in particular i was a kid woody allen wow i loved woody allen i shot the moose remember his stuff yeah oh my god he was just a brilliant joke writer i mean like if you ever watched love and death it's one of it's when he was in uh in russia the russian supposed to be fighting napoleon and the jokes he wrote diane keaton uh is sitting there with napoleon and then napoleon says how do you find me as a man and diane keaton goes i think it's your best bet right these kind of fucking jokes just fucking like it's brilliant

jokes he goes you have beautiful skins because yes and it covers my entire body you know just joke after i mean i i can't write jokes you know joe can you you're a brilliant joke rather dumb i can't write a joke i have no idea how to write a joke i i think i i think of things and say them in a funny way but i don't like like like i don't know the formula i don't know how you get that like a joke joke to me that's fucking great would be like guy goes with psychiatrists psychiatrists what's the problem guy goes i don't know doc i just can't seem to keep any friends you fat fuck like i love jokes like that you know like just boom boom boom but i try my best my level hit it best you know for years i struggled with all that stuff and i mean somebody a writer told me

one time he was listening when people go to see a stand-up write a comedy they like what they do it's when the comic tries to change up what he's been doing because he wants to be intelligent or yeah something people see right through that you know they they go to see you for that certain patois it's tough to tell somebody that because i i hate my act i hate looking at myself on stage i hate listening to myself on stage i hate all that shit it takes a minute for me and i gotta shut the fuck off i don't give a fuck if i can't hear it i can't watch you either you know i can't do it i cannot do it you know it changed my life you know not getting the merv griffin show because when i i i didn't remember merv griffin yes i didn't i auditioned

this guy named less than claire and he didn't he turned me down which you know and i got that i remember going fuck i can't even get merv griffin fuck this i'm just gonna be myself and then i started getting the shit because i was trying to be what i thought a stand-up should be to get on those shows like jerry you know like jerry seinfeld was the guy who you looked at and went that as a guy who knows how to do a tight six seven minutes you know what i mean tie it all together i didn't know how to do that and like not getting merv was like such a low point i couldn't even have fucking merv griffin oh funny fucking merv griffin fuck him it's funny sign for he used to have a joke about that nobody could reach him in the shower when you're on the phone the dumbest thing

ever i used to giggle my ass yeah some great can't reach in the shower you ever go in the shower and there's a hair on the wall how did he get there did he climb up there he slowly just move up the wall there whose hair is it you know he would do that shit i went to see him i paid money to see seinfeld after the first season and somewhere in denver i took a little asian girl for a day tremendous well it's crazy because you joined you did longest yard and you said you had people coming out expecting that guy for comedy and dumb you played a terrible comedian on seinfeld like a prop comment so did people come out to see like that and like you didn't do the prop comedy well but no no they don't come to see that they know that but the funny thing is i forget

uh like how powerful that show is and i walked into a plane in burbank at five five thirty in the morning six o'clock flight and the flight attendant goes to me he says do my nostrils look big to you and i go no and i sit down i'm thinking what the fuck's wrong with him and i realized it was a line from seinfeld your episode was on last week the one where chaching where george was running out because of a fire he was like yeah he pushed it out on everything i was when the when the guy says uh how do you live with yourself the fireman he goes he's he knocked over a woman with a walker and he goes it ain't easy and then he talks about it he goes i was merely clearing the path you know did you ever see that episode joe

i saw one of i saw years ago the seinfelds and it was like uh it was weird because i stopped watching tv for a long time and then i saw you on seinfeld it was like it was amazing when i saw anybody on those fucking episodes yeah i would just how many episodes did you do just one and i had no idea how big the show was because i turned down a few because i was always on the road larry called me about three or four times and you know what he actually said this is larry david fucking genius and he goes uh don't you know you really should do the show it's it's pretty good do you ever see it i got a lot i haven't seen it sorry but i heard it was good right the fucking seinfeld show and then now looking back i'm thinking i'm so lucky i was part of that you only did one

episode yeah because you have like a few memorable things and i thought it was more more episodes me too i thought it was more episodes because you had the thing where can i have that right wasn't it wasn't it you have a joke when a jerry's jokes oh yeah i think i i think i did say that and then and then i was looking on your imdb today you did all like all like all the comedians that had sitcoms in like the 90s and early 2000s like everybody loves raymond the camp i did every one of those fucking shows i got a lot of nice Jim larry cat you did his show too no i didn't look larry cat no no which i was at he was he had some show levy clark was on drew carry uh everybody lives rain uh i did golden girls it's how fucking long i've been around wow room room mclanahan and

betty white b arthur i called her bow by mistake she looked at me like she was gonna fucking level me it's bow it's be darling uh yeah a lot of those shows but you know my favorite shit been lately is cartoons i was on back at the barnyard and hey arnold hey arnold gets more of a rise like from the kids like 21 years old than anything they wouldn't give a fuck about it some of the shit i did but go hey arnold i grew up on that and that's such a cool feeling you're the doctor i'm kind of essential too oh dr catz dr catz you did a bunch of those too i don't watch those it's funny this shit that you lived through like people they they kept calling you from sign felt yeah can you imagine they kept calling you from signing you when you were always on the road

a lot of people don't know this i had when i first moved out of there i went to the improv first i went to the comedy store first and then i got put on it was latino night on sunday nights at the improv and they put me on they made me a regular and they would give me spots and this guy came up to me one day and he goes i want to manage you i have a managing firm okay that's about three months the guy was worthless i'd say did you call the improv yeah but nobody answers the phone that's great i got two weeks of miami they answered the phone for me it was like a running joke we worked miami together yeah yeah we were playing with ricky cruz at that time and it was just he was horrible guys he was fucking horrible who tried this manager oh he really he set up showcases

and he was a sweetheart he was part of something he got lucky they gave him a big check and he came out here with a big check and big checks out here when you're worthless they go fucking fast yeah when he got he had the Porsche and the girlfriend had the Mercedes and that started you could see it they oh no the Mercedes wasn't working right you had to cut that motherfucker down that was it because he had the suits you know he was out every night you got to play the fucking game you know and that cost money playing the game going to eat and make him believe you're gonna sign this and that and everything was going bad for him he had the script that he was pushing for a writer called something about a bride we're russian you get a russian bride and they attached to the mountain and to

mount pseudom because uh and i was ready to go i'm fucking ready to get rid of this guy i'm just waiting for something i don't know what i'm waiting for so i tell him i'm going to new york and he calls me back this guy and he goes hey why you're in new york do you have a demo reel i go no i have stand-up reel he goes go to this place on the west side and drop off for real go to this place in queens and drop off for real and do me a favor stop by this place in manhattan they're casting a show by the italians called the sopranos i called them ready and told me you were coming i'm dropped off a tape and i went to the other two places except the soprano place and i kept saying and on the way home i'm throwing the tape under the seat and going i'm not a fucking singer like i'm not i

can't fucking sing i can't sing that high what is wrong with that fucking moron and a year later i'm at the cleveland improv dying the death of the week and i go back to the condo and the sopranos and the sopranos is on i'm sitting there going sopranos it's a fucking mob show i thought i never felt so bad in my life i had my friend my friend lubes his brother make duplicates at like nine in the morning because i had to drop him off and that's what i did all morning it was an east coast guy you my brother's got a vcr come on over then we get over there what chord what record you asked me if we had a vcr so now we had to go to a kmart buy a vcr he didn't have a fucking chord what record we record from the tv oh so we had to do all that shit we had

to get chords to record from one to the other i recorded three tapes off one for a tv showing two for fucking movies and nothing happened with those shit movies the fuck lisa that told the answers you got from me was the longest short the one with bruce willis no the longest short was the one and i was also put on the veils for that the mob one with bruce willis they put me on the veils friend and they wrote this a couple scenes kevin pollock is it the one kevin pollock guy he's fucking funny in that yeah kevin pollock and they made a sequel and they put me on a veils for the russian but they didn't fucking give it to me what are you doing you know what i'm saying like you can't fucking cry i was but it was in the longest yard everybody

goberg nelly michael ervin uh fucking adam sandler just a bunch definitely one right there terry cruz yeah i'm okay burt reynolds burt reynolds is very interesting i thought i had goberg calling this morning through the show you know chris rock was very nice on the set everybody was very nice chris a good guy it was uh it was a great experience man i was very lucky at the time you know i sent him audition tape you know i don't take no for an answer i don't give a fuck down remember you know i was going to put me up against vinnie pastore and the guy who played football for the fucking uh baltimore ravens tom saragusa that's what that was what was going on he's a big fucking guy and i said you know what man tom saragusa never did fucking comedy and buffalo and he did fucking

big pussy soprano i'm stealing this fucking role and i put a tight shirt on with a helmet and they taped me and i sent it in chris got the tape to adam that's how i got to fuck these motherfuckers they can't stop you fucking i liked you in that deniro uh sliced alone movie that's good i almost it was on the plane a couple weeks ago i almost jumped off the fucking plane yo i thought you're very funny in it i had a good time thank you for saying that i had a very nice time shooting the movie with those guys i was very honored you know but look at this shit dom you've gone through uh you know three different changes at the comedy store you're still fucking here taking brother happier than that look never knock me down ray funny and that was

still working every night where you going tonight where you going on stage tonight i'm taking off i got tomorrow night with the comedy store wednesday breaking balls with dom arara featuring starring joey ds you want to call fucking uh rogan see if he'll come down too we'll have a i had a big fall in hell rogan did you really know maybe we're shooting pool and he got mad at you got mad at me for winning the game i'm gonna all i do is fucking rack for him you're so good tonight man i mean i went a couple games you know because in nine ball you're bound to win like you you know joe run eight balls and then i hit the nine ball and but he's he's tough yeah and he actually comes shoot pool if you watch like a

rack yeah i could stand there drinking sodas like a fucking moron i forget it i go home back to the whole town take my channel what are you giggling about you want to go me bad is that what this no okay what happened to you take a little bite let's do a little gummy bear you and your uncle joey it's fucking monday night dom arara's here what is this is this an edible yeah this is a second edible of the day well how many is it for you joey what are you at like fucking 12 now you can drive with them huh you're not supposed to you know i have my friend picking me up well good these give me a ride you know i suppose yeah but you're gonna get to me too i got a dui out here with hollywood oh this is the worst the last of 10 years right yeah they don't fuck around those duis man cop's

a friend of mine he had his you know he would have got he would have gotten me out of it but he had that he had his phone on vibrate instead of ring he said i'm sorry i said what the fuck i deserve it i got uh got away with so many of them i'm in florida right i'm in hollywood florida i went to this like a lingerie place it's like kind of a whorehouse but you know it's like almost almost whorehouse i come out i had a few sandbuckas i'm so fucking drunk i i ran over a stop sign the cops had somebody apprehended i'm apprehended i'm talking cop to the perpetrator but they they had a guy and they i run over a stop sign you know florida everything's like there's a water level it's only in there like cement it's not the ground doesn't really hold it

fucking ran it i ran over the fucking thing and i said to the guy and this is when you know like it's just your day i said to the cop i said officer i'm too drunk to drive the first thing i said then he goes don get out of the car when he said my name i'm thinking i hope he likes my act and he did and he gave me a uh he got me a cab let put me put the car there so you know i can't complain about getting one no they never drank since i never drank and drive it's not worth the fucking aggravation it's all it's all livelihood yeah what are you doing you fucking can't drive you know joe this woman fucking hated me in the in the drunk drunk and drive classes because i said to her she was like this you know like all like kind of descending

about you know us the drunks i said let me tell you something if it wasn't a drunk she wouldn't have a job you ever think of that she fucking looked at me she she called the timeout walked out of the room to take a breath but ladies and gentlemen just to let you know what's going on here while there's a slowdown in the show the boys are eating fucking drugs these drug addict friends of mine this little something to get the blood going on monday right you know what i'm saying special edition church what's happening now it's amazing how i couldn't handle it do you know that i can handle so many fucking things in life couldn't handle it drink and drive no puts me in another fucking frame of mind like i'm doing you don't want to be looking in your mirror the whole

time it's terrifying it's terrifying it's it's something that i saw something when i was 17 it had to do with drinking driving like new year's day and i decided at that moment right there i was never drinking and driving i wasn't even gonna go out and fucking cars on the weekends for years i would fucking take buses or walk or take a train into the city or take a cab it was fucking horrible the fears i had because uh listen today today something happened this morning some drunk driver ran out control killed a family of five going to disney land yesterday you know it's it's something so you can't even take the chance no no you can't listen when i went to prison and i got locked up yeah you meet some fucking killers but i also met kids who made mistakes

who went to a frat party yeah got drunk got in that car well fell asleep and killed the fucking couple this kid was living in hell there was one in particular i never forgot i never forgot what he looked like his name was chuck something i never forgot what he looked like how he used to walk around with the hat he lived in hell and his parents had money so he only had to do four years he had to do two years they they charges a nonviolent his parents paid like quarter of a million dollars in defense but it's uh i can't imagine like not even dealing with the guilt of killing somebody but like especially if you if you do that like just we living that night and like oh i shouldn't have had that last beer i shouldn't have done that and driving drunk for

me is a little is different than high high i just drive a little bit slower what's the difference that's what i want i just drive very slowly joey joey goes 90 any time but i i drive slowly and i get a little paranoid sometimes i go just look down in the light green green for 30 seconds but uh but don't they stop you for driving too slow too my dad oh so my dad's about 60 years old and he came out to visit me here and joey gave him a cookie oh no and said he know what he was getting yeah he know what he was doing and he was wrapped up and he said have a little bit before you get through security was to go on a flight to florida my dad got nervous before security ate the whole thing oh my god he almost missed his flight and the next day he was flying for a lot of it oh

and he was doing 16 miles an hour on 95 at six in the morning they pulled them over yeah i guess they would it's like a tractor goes faster than that but no so i mean the worst thing that ever happened was when we had that podcast and the cop car hit me just like dinged me in the light i was high and the cop car just its mirror like the cop must have been new and the mirror just hit my mirror and so they had me pull over and just make sure my car was okay and i got out of there quick i probably could have sued them or like gotta get on a free car or something but no i was like follow me get the fuck out of here maybe i'm on drugs but you're a really bad driver officer yeah let me ask you something so if you get high tonight what are you gonna go home and do

you make a little chocolate shake stretch a little bit do some jumping jacks what do you think i'm gonna go home and i'm gonna pass out again well fucking pass out he was tough as nails i know but fucking these things are fucking strong he gave me one today at six in the morning you know i never had one can i have one not now either i'm kidding like i would never fucking do imagine me doing it you know you have a good time the first time i gotta drive home you couldn't oh you'd have the time of your fucking life i can't do anything i got coffee bakes be fucking nervous i like down i like downers i like alcohol i like xanax well listen you take one of these with some coffee you're on a different fucking planet you get an e-cigarette

i don't like psychedelic though i'm not putting you in a psychedelic state i'm putting in another planet like put the beginning of the oj's on like that like that like this planet bono bono like that like that that type of plan what oh shit little philadelphia sam my man tom are in the house you bad motherfuckers let's do this shit jump up and down black people north philadelphia mother fucker this is the real fucking deal right here what what what if you're in california close by don't forget this weekend tom are in myself at the ice house four shows don't fuck around six two six five seven seven

eighteen ninety something i don't know but stop the league throw it down motherfucker crack that shit yo i didn't know you could do the split like that stop this motherfucker don't know how to pick yourself up like that come on bro this is the temptation those four what bad things with us oh well you wanna good things good things good things good things one day night cocksuckers let's go roll that number don't worry i was in the house let's do this shit what get up salute the flag you cocksuckers oh shit money are you fucking kidding me there's one black people a fucking black people savages they all had a fucking afro picking their pocket what are you fucking nuts or what at least i had

dropping it for you there's a little something for you at least you learn something every day you do you eat a little edible you fucking listen to the oj's straight back to like 73 74 in this country i'm sorry i'm banging the fucking table but sometimes you gotta make a point you know what's happened i'd like to see you rock out like that man oh i love all this music i love music i love music all right the thing we didn't talk about we gotta just touch on because only daniel tosh to be not to be a name dropper and you were the only guys i know that no bears could walk what'd you think would san Antonio incredible or what i only if i lied to you i only watched maybe total of 10 minutes oh really and the 10 minutes i watched san antonio six of them were in

the semi finals oh they you didn't even watch it with the watch one night oh you just watched college huh i don't watch that i don't i don't not anymore not when we were not when i was really right into it you know i watched i i understood san antonio it's amazing what i now at 50 what i see with basketball i see commercial basketball and i see a great team yeah i see a team that was built together years ago i watched the next their fucking horrendous they couldn't win a championship they gave them the fucking trophy because there's five guys playing for themselves san antonio was a well oiled machine unbelievable well oiled machine and they utilized everybody to that fullest potential the guy's 50 fucking years old what do you want him to do he still did 18 points right what are

team duncan yeah yeah like 15 and he signed again today for 10 million he's coming back next year he's saying he's losing 10 15 million i won't be labor because i know a lot of people get turned off by sports but he's losing 15 million a year 20 million maybe but you know that way he can get better players around them he's smart you really think there's a big difference between 15 and 10 million when you make it 10 million and you're gonna go god i'd like to make five million more i feel so cheated yeah he that it was it was great to watch a basketball team instead of two guys and three guys they put together to be mercenaries yeah it was good to see them i watched the finals and it was good to see miami out of their element like they did something to take

them completely out of their game they beat them up they agitated them they just got in their fucking ass but on the other side of the court they played so fucking you know picks and brew and they looked through the open man and it was just it was just really nice to see that instead of saying fucking this you know uh whatever chuck and jive shaking and put a 40 footer up with no there's nothing there yeah it's a great shot if you're making it's a great shot if you're fucking making them what then you drop the last three in the fourth quarter so that 40 footer in the first quarter you could suck my dick you should have saved that for the fourth quarter hit me with a fucking nine percentage layup you know what i'm saying i drop it how it is when it comes to

fucking hoops but uh i watch the lakers i watch i tell you what team i cannot watch the clippers before don lafta don sterling i don't give a fuck i cannot watch i don't get it i don't get it just didn't get it i don't see the flow i do not see their flow with it the the kid is great the guard is really great cb3 chris paul chris paul and the white dude that looks half black like play griffin he's great but he's half white and half black half white half black something about him together it ain't fucking bibby and bop it ain't bibby and fucking doug carlands oh they were good it ain't bibby and doug car something just doesn't i don't feel it guy i don't fucking feel it and the other guy i don't feel it it wasn't you could

tell in the cards you know it just you just didn't feel it i and then the scandal didn't fucking help him much but i just didn't fucking feel it it's amazing how i liked running gun basketball when i was younger but it's amazing how easy you could beat it that's why when when they couldn't never figure out a guy like larry bird when he played for indiana that year they had a subpar team but they were a team indiana state right yeah indiana state and they lost to magic johnson in the last game but they were 31 yeah but can you imagine how good he was to take them to the top he was that good guy but he slowed everybody else's game down they couldn't cover him he was six for 10 he was popping 20s on you slow as shit couldn't get around you but he was still popping fucking

20s on you it was i was on one of the first televised game but larry bird they played new mexico state and the guy that covered him was a guy with a name of cheese johnson i met him at five star basketball camp he was one of my counselors he sucked dick fuck him he was a real fucking buke cocksucker easy joe don't go back there i go don't go bitch not worth it i love i worry about your pressure i loved all that shit i loved all that old school basketball i loved the way it was played it was great the 83 sixes please i was just gonna get to that shit i was just going to get the name of the starting team for that muslim along bobby jones no julia serving bobby didn't start uh it wasn't mark iveroni yep was it was it mark iveroni it was mark iveroni

it was uh i don't know if it was doug collin still no that was after him it was after him it was it was uh not world be free but the other guy that he could shoot in the dark it was fangertown angiotown he's tremendous marie's cheeks marie's cheeks and an urbine it was the start of five and then they bring in bobby jones and no white boy could dunk like that motherfucker bobby jones and who else knows somebody else but i've started with steve mix steve mix the mix field i started with the sixes when they had george motherfucking mcginnis coby's father jelly bean brian yeah was a six that when i started with them and they had uh who was cordwell jones was the center i picked him up thumb in it one night did you it's fucking so hilarious he i see a a giant black guy i don't

know as he was seven foot tall thumb in it his mercedes broke down i'm in my hornet right i have my fucking yellow hornet and i see him and i think nobody's gonna pick up this fucking guy so i pick him up and his legs go over to dash he's so fucking tall and then i realized who he was and it was very funny when you know he'll go from me ticket to the game the next night and all i i didn't care but i just took him into it because he was going from into a really white neighborhood i think this fucking guy is not getting picked up i didn't give a fuck it's amazing what uh julia serving meant to me at a young fucking age oh yeah i still remember him getting traded from the nets and i kind of cried a little bit i was a little fucking cracked when the a b i went down

it was exciting and they had a lot of good players yeah and then that's i still remember the six million dollar man they changed his number from 32 to six he started doing commercials there was a show at halftime called red on round ball or red or back would break down again right with every week he had a different basketball player the best one was julia serving but the second was the best one was calvin murphy because he did an exhibition on twirling but yeah he twirled the baton that's why he had exceptional fucking hand speed i also read that book about uh tom jonovich and uh when he got cracked when he got but kermit washington yeah pretty good book a little repetitive at times but it wasn't fucking bad and it was amazing that every time rudy tom jonovich

would come up from houston and they play at the forum in those days he'd look up and he'd go sunday that fucking scoreboard's gonna come down on somebody he would always say that in the beginning of every game he would go sunday that scoreboard was gonna come down one night he's playing the lake is uh a fucking tussle he turns around he walks right into a fucking punch oh my god kermit washington put it up there kermit washington punch this kind of are we on are we on camera yeah we're on camera i don't know if they could watch that but they could so what am i searching for are you looking for kermit washington this is this is a camera here yeah that's a camera right there say hello hello say hello to the bad guy hello you caca roaches it was the punch that's the name

of the book and uh he says ruined his life you know it ruined his sinuses and everything removed him and also kermit washington kermit washington got fucking arrested yeah he became a born again christian they did something on him on 2020 i saw it something something he couldn't get it together i didn't feel that bad for him tell you the truth you know at that time the mba was putting uh enforcers into the league enforcers were him morris lucas there was three member boys lucas and darryl darkin's fight darryl darkin's in the middle of fucking yeah had no idea how to fight but they fought over darryl darkin's popping bobby gross over his back then when they held darryl darkin's back this beauty throws a punch and hits his own team and he hits dug counts dug counts get six dishes oh yeah before

game six was that a punch or is that a fun it's it's weird like if you search it it just it's like part of a documentary about him and they just slow it down and they just see i guess we're talking about just running and the guy turns around sees him and it's like john jones knocking somebody out when he woke up he goes finally the scoreboard came down that's what he said he goes what happened the scoreboard come down they go no punch get up he got up i mean they say they talked to him they talked what he was thinking in the locker room and then they said you can't get on the plane you're going in for emergency surgery everything is broken your brains are coming out of your fucking nose or something and he wanted killed from washington it's a fucking interesting

read if you ever read that shit don't you know don't listen to me i don't give a fuck i know you take long flights and you got time to kill what are you doing on the plane when you take a long flight lily can you throw me a water for your uncle joey too you know joey do the normal stuff i teach a zumba class and first class regular things i stretch and you always my first class now because of the 30 000 miles a year well i i can't fucking my feet don't go to the right anymore i go to the left i'll fly business class sometimes but i just can't do it joe and i don't give a fuck i've gone wait frankly i've gone where i've spent more money on my ticket than i made at the gig that's how much it means to me i'm just not i'm too fucking i work too hard on

my life to worry about fucking money i'm lucky you know and i used to fly i used to fly sofi around remember sofi yeah you know like i'm flying her around and bumping her up with me now i just think i know i you know i'm flying alone let's see it's not as nearly what's your air carrier choice america i'm united american and delta i just hedged my bet with the big boys okay you know united's going down hell though man since they merge with continental they really uh they're not the same area who goes to reno the best from here i never been there i've i've been there years ago but i don't know i would imagine southwest that'd be my guess no nobody why were you why were you i'd go southwest from burbank nobody flies direct from burbank no no

direct flights no reno you got to go to rena you got to go to vegas it turns into a three and a half hour fucking flight so i have to get on a plane at six o'clock to come back five thirty i got to be there i don't get into burbank at ten thirty in the morning if i take american or united or delta i get back at nine thirty in the morning i got to drive up to fucking 405 oh i'd rather come into burbank no matter what even with the three hour uh if they have a if they have a club there i don't know they don't have a club though in vegas i join all those clubs you know the united club oh i see what you're saying okay they're comfortable and what are you doing there you're sitting you're drinking no i drink on the plane they got food too yeah they got food

some of them like are really fucking nice like uh the one in virgin virgin in london is unbelievable they just offered me that and kenny when i was there if i want to go to the lounge yeah he always got to the lounge really that's my life you know i don't fucking sit in the too much noise it gets on my nerves i mean i try and make it as easy as but i got that tsa pre pre approved what are they banging out a year for them oh about four five hundred for the tsa pre tsa no no that i don't they don't charge you for that i'm telling i think you meant the clubs okay no the pre pre check is great enough to take your shoes off you don't have to take your bag out just fucking go right through i'm just scared to even make them do the computer check this

shit might go off bells and whistles why upset the fucking tide evolution everybody's hunky door everybody's happy i fly like a fucking chief now i'm at the same point if it's a long flight i use my miles i ain't sitting for six hours and fucking the back with all these miles i got saved up no a lot of times i upgrade it's amazing the the rate that i upgrade nine other fucking ten except chicago and new york you're not gonna upgrade that oh yeah those are killers now they've been around a long time you've been around a long time all right i'm still gold on american they don't that gets i got over a million on american and over a million almost two million on united holy shit you imagine that lee and you fucking get upset if you gotta go to fucking sherman o's

cock stuff no i mean it's it's like that's kind of my dream like i went when you guys why are you talking so loud i'm not turning around no he's all right don't don't fucking get his faces ready but jealous to travel around but you're the haircut today no you're looking sharp and shit look at your head that's tight that motherfucker you're looking like jason what's who played the mechanic jason jason halloween you look like jason strayham tonight only with a beard you bad motherfucking lucifer looking motherfucking what happened tell me tell me what your dream is no i think it'd be like it sounds like uh i had a friend whose dad traveled around and i understand how it can be kind of shitty but just going like traveling when you didn't like my first job interview

i had out here but after my first job was to work for uh extreme maker extreme makeover home edition and you get to travel around with the show and i always thought that'd be really fun but i guess the more you do eight dollars with per diem yeah and your fucking dinner is 52 right and then like did you get your per diem that's always a fucking real beauty listen we're very lucky and i've said this before on the podcast i mean you're even lucky because you get to go abroad you've seen everything you can't you can't leave the country now i got no fucking passport still so that sucks you can't you can't pay for that well it's seattle it's seattle it's breaking my balls with that warrant it's fucking seattle man what's the warrant for assault and they wanted me to take an anger

management course so fuck them in their anger management fucking anger management course i got better shit to fucking do than sit down a satellite and tell people i'm fucking pissed people cut me off and shit 40 dollars i see that the edible kicking in on you oh please your eyes have gotten buried listen dawg i've been stoned off fucking day i ate two edibles i ate an edible with him i went home i made some calls i sent some emails i went to 1130 jujitsu today oh yeah no gi i never did no gi before it was traumatizing do you understand me it was traumatizing trauma fucking tithing you ready to fight y'all no when you're fat you can't you know when you have a gi you have something to grab well you don't have to give you have to grab their fucking neck i don't have

that time to sit up there have to sit up and grab your fucking neck i don't have that type of time with the gi i just hook on to something i lack you you fucking dirty fuck you're busy even in jujitsu you know you're running late for something oh my god it was so fucking hard i don't know i don't know about no gi jujitsu but i went and i fucking gave it a try on the way home naturally i stopped at the weed store naturally naturally now you have a prescription oh fuck i had two prescriptions of three different well you're a very ill man yeah i'm fucked up even the guy that his voice is i got him a prescription too that's how strong i am the deal with the voices he's got a fucking prescription of things the dog was talking to him in case he don't want the dog to talk to him so he

got a prescription so i went into my place it's going out of business by the way noble organic is closing their doors on monday why because the landlords are getting pressured now the city is going after the the landlords are you just going in there and buying tubs of it because like the last time i went with you i got enough animals to keep you i'm sure you do september i is oh not even not even yet he loves all this shit he loves it the last time i went with him to the store it was like the shows where they have like the like the the girls who live in hollywood with fancy dads and they can buy everything you really like i'll take four of those three of those and he got like 17 things oh my god what happens if there's an earthquake god for a bit of middle

night you're everybody's scrambling i'm proud you take an edible there was an earthquake why would i yeah because there's no electricity people are yelling and screaming and you want to relieve your tension what's it feel like what the edible there's a different than smoker yes calms you down it gets you stoned by the time i get home i'll pop some coffee tonight like a fucking soldier in fact i might even go to 7-eleven get a nice cup of brew tonight like a doctor treat yourself joe you know me fuck all this spend get it get it out there let me tell you some it comes in it goes out i'm cuban all right that fucking starbucks you give him away three dollars every fucking day just to have the starbucks shield so your friends think you went to starbucks

that's it 7-eleven's got the bold brazilian i put that shit up against bad cocaine bold brazilian from 7-eleven i put it up against bad cocaine yeah it's very good fucking these people you know everybody's you don't do cocaine anymore no seven years everybody's trying to outdo everybody with the fucking coffee where we grew up there was regular fucking coffee down there we get it together you can't be you're from philly i don't want i don't i don't want to hear you getting a soy latte not even by fucking accident oh the cappuccino i would be fucking so upset because you know they've taken over a whole country if you don't walk into your office with fucking your little starbucks cup you're like a fucking immigrant coffee beans not gonna know no they get pissed off at coffee

beans it's not the status quo you gotta throw heat it's really big out here back east it's always dunkin donuts sure why and they don't give a fuck they give you that black water that'll change your face if you throw it at somebody even if we get dunkin donuts that's fucking scolding that shit really why do you buy that you think you gotta take 25 000 hours to let it to cool down you gotta put a fucking a snow cone in there to drink it it's amazing every time i go dunkin donuts you gotta it's like it's like a 20 minute fucking wait for it to cool down i don't drink it with i drink my coffee black it's beautiful you know me i got time to put fucking cream and heavy heavy oh let me hit the amaretto cream i grew up in a place where you walked in they gave

you coffee regular or fucking sweet that's it or black we're at new jersey north bergen with a fucking butter roll how many times i gotta say this shit nobody fucked around with gluten do you think people came in i don't know gluten on my butter roll fuck you fuck you you get what the fuck you come in here you want bagels you go see the jews here you get buttered fucking rolls okay or you get the rolls with the cream cheese and the jelly what's it remember these first of all you should go right to seattle and go to anger management with that kind of outburst i'm done fucking i get furious there's no need for that here in this part i get furious nice bagel with some cream cheese and some fucking jelly nobody does that shit no that's old school cream cheese and jelly

on a fucking butter roll on a roll that's old school that's 10 000 calories weight watches throw you out instantly you lost weight though i'm trying you know i'm a freaking freaking heater freak without wanting to fuck Lee get it together where's the music what what do you want to hear i don't hear none i'm just making sure you got it all together anything going on in your head no no no no in a minute i'll just start fading into the background like i'm still okay it was only healing give me a quarter so that one's not bad today during the phone call it kind of just went out i gave you a nice piece where'd you meet this happy kid this on facebook this is my boom bar he's a good fucking kid i know he's a savage look at him have you been to israel yeah twice it was a deep connections

in israel this motherfucker yeah he's connected one call it's over they treat you like Maya lands get rubbing your feet when we first started working together he would just introduce me to random people and say i'm the director from israel and they all went and he would expect me to like keep the game going but i don't speak Hebrew and i don't need to do they just make fucking words up neither do they just start making fucking words up how many nights you check at the park yesterday with Spanish just you brought from fucking jersey how did that come up in the five minutes that you met her because i heard her she had the baby on the swing so i don't know where they put my baby on the swing and she goes what part of new york you're from like away you from she goes philly

oh and she's jewish and her baby was from venezuela but her and the boyfriend got divorced so she was looking for a new man she was fucking hysterical a little jeanese jewish chick i don't even know why that came up it's the one drop on in case you're in the market for a jewish chick i was in i was in boston and my friend's daughter that was going to boston college brings her girlfriends out they're all underage i take them out get a drink i'm talking to the one girl blonde hair blue eyes and she's fucking sharp you know smart funny and then finally i got her are you jewish she goes yeah why are you too smart for a regular girl and she started laughing but she was you know fucking smart she'll be right and i did a thing for her the other day

they wrote a like a internet movie or an internet series they're fucking industrious they're the hardest working people you gotta fucking you gotta push the pen nowadays now how many weeks of month are you traveling done you got a busy schedule you got years already no but i got february and i got two gigs in february already i try and uh i don't know you know so i i always keep saying i'm gonna slow down and then i can't turn some of these gigs down yeah i sit around here for three weeks and do what audition after a week and a half you get bored to pieces i do yeah i get bored to fucking peace i thank god for the podcast this keeps me alive during the week yeah you know if you do these and somebody asks you to be on theirs and it's a nice fucking week and uh

you try to work out if you know you got the lab factory you have your little show once a month so you always stay fucking sharp which is the most important yeah i practice a lot i mean the guys that were around with you 20 years ago there ain't nobody around no that's it that's it who do you see anymore from your back in your day nobody no i hang out with guys a lot younger than me uh dub david off guys like you know at this at the lab factory christalia all those guys you're fucking sad because they love you i love doing stand-up still see that's the one thing i'm not better you know like i don't sit around fucking think what i didn't get i think i'm fucking lucky i'm in a living i could retire if i wanted to i just i wouldn't i'd blow my fucking

brains out i love doing stand-up just a philly guy i was just in philly i was at helium uh i told you i'm doing do a lannick city it's a big deal for me to do a lannick city bigger than doing philly it's the same thing okay it's the same market same radio everybody all it is is an extension of philly how far is ac from philly 60 60 minutes 60 miles 60 minutes yeah i've lost track of time but now i have a 70 mile an hour speed so you're going 80 so you could get there in 45 nice you gotta if i can get you in the trap you would fucking love it because it's mixed ages it's like young kids and old people and they all fucking sit at the bar together it's kind of cool that's like ireland's like that you know no elitist thing you know this

is with a hip young 30 year old whatever how many times do you go to ireland how many times do i a year do you go to ireland once a year twice at least once sometimes two three times a year wow i got a lot of friends over there international fuck oh for fuck sake don't worry into fucking national you understand me and you're worried about going to jersey get it together cocksucker what am i worried about going to do i was in go away this is a couple years i realized about the impact that he's podcast this kid comes up to me goes tom rarer listened to you on joe rogan all the time he said tell joe that i study martial arts because of him i said how old is he is 20 i go so good i'm gonna tell joe that now i got a 20 year old drunken irish kid who actually knows

how to fight that's perfect but it is it's amazing how powerful they are this is something that i never foresee coming i thought it was just going to be an outlet for us right i thought it was just going to be a different type of outlet for comedians to uh crack jokes or talk about that week or where they went on the road i didn't know it was going to become this thing that shows are getting written about them and uh yeah you ever get bill burrow in here no no bill's busy with his own stuff brother bill's he's fucking funny bill's getting dragged from so many fucking directions i mean you know how it was i mean i've never known how to have a career like that bill's work in sundays you know if he had a helicopter he would leave one place and go to another one yeah

you know bill has uh he's got his own he does two podcasts week or one just one just one day mornings yeah okay yeah he's got the yeah i've done it with him yeah so he'll he'll cast every once in a while but i've done it with him and he's done mine a few times and he fucking loves bus jane bus and jamie's balls because jamie didn't pass him when he first saw him real real eye for talent huh that's why i met that's why i met bill burrow at the last factory probably uh 97 when the show got canceled he had a show with a bunch of people well they didn't come stars and he was depressed he was down and he did the right thing he went to new york he kept writing he you know because you're always gonna be a stand-up no matter what the neck right that's the beauty of this

day you could hide you could hide him right you go to coffee bean or you could buy a brazilian bowl at 7 11 and fucking right and something good will happen eventually that's a good thing about this and there's always work they'll always you know you might have to go back to the grind to the kanoka bowl for a couple weeks of fucking some Italian place but after that funny is funny man it cannot be fucking stopped and a lot of these people think that there's shortcuts and shit and i watch you you know as much as i could watch and it's just amazing it's just amazing just that you're one of the guys that gave me hope you put it i would never think i'd be at this table talking to you i mean that's the honest to god truth it's fun to work here i love what you said

to me about the the clothes in the show because i don't care who closes you you know you could close like i don't give a fuck and you said to me i'm rare i love when you call my home name why don't you close the first show and i'll close the second show because i don't want you have a big like me that late true it's fucking torture that way the people the late show is listen then you're gonna arrange my schedule you go you can still do a spot at the lab factory get there on time thanks yeah no it's yeah that's right you said you can so get the fuck out of here when you sit around do what talk to who what what do you want to talk about somebody i got armpit in my nose today when you go to jujitsu sometimes you got an armpit in your nose and it got stuck

like i feel like the hair is up here like my nostril i've smoked armpit all fucking day after that's the downfall of jujitsu it's it's just uh it's amazing down how there's a bunch of kids out there that come up to you and say you inspired me to try stand up isn't that cool it really is amazing that i'm telling you man when i when i saw you at the store my my head almost blew up when i saw everybody who was at that tape i owe a big thanks to because they let me know you lennie clark when i saw him i pulled him aside good dude lennie i pulled him aside you know i explained to andrew thank you i remember sneaking andrew's tape into the halfway house new year's eve because they wouldn't give leather squad

new year's eve if you were in the halfway house and i said fine how much does the cost account with they're like but you get rent the conference room no alcohol just food like i'll rent the conference hall i rented the room for like 55 bucks there was this in sienna boulder colorado oh wow at a place called bctc boulder county treatment center was a halfway house you went there until they lay out when you got out it was fucking amazing sitting there new years with a bunch of people laughing but again it seemed so far away and then coming to la and seeing everybody and going what the fuck i'm walking with these guys you know yeah it's cool it's just a beautiful fucking thing down the river and that's it i have to call people by their first and last name

that's how it was raised in jersey don't call people you don't don't don't expect you out anything about that i'd rather you call me doctor professor i'll call you fucking doctor professor i'll call you anything my main mother fuck me and what did i put last week on face but come see us the teacher and the fucking student i call you the teacher i call you whatever the fuck student is teaching the teacher now fucking unbelievable students teaching the teacher let me tell you something man stand up as like anything else you know and i and i look at these comics now they're still plugging away you guys are better than ever you guys and but the general public doesn't know about you i tell you if it wasn't for young people i'd have no career no career

going you know i had a 19 year old asian girl fucking so fucking hot and i and she comes up to me to take a picture after and i go hold on she goes 19 i go did you know he were coming to see the night she goes hey man funny's funny like you said a little bit ago at ruggers right i thought i'm fucking lucky am i wasn't for kids like that i wouldn't have a career i couldn't depend on 50 year old goombas to film my houses you know no those people don't go out no more no it's it's all about the you know i always felt a little old i always feel weird when somebody takes a picture and i get back to my room after a gig i'm like on facebook and there's a picture of me i'm like boy i'm old with that young kid and then i think about how in 1984 i would have sucked Rodney

Dangerfield's dick after easy money if he were to take this dick out i would have sucked it i didn't give a fuck how old he was who did i like in 1984 you liked any murphy and you like fucking whatever that's it Rodney Rodney and caddy shack was as funny as it gets Rodney in so many things what's it fun i love them caddy shack that's why tigers eat the young i still watch easy money once a week it's on my dvr and i watch different fucking sections of that here and there and he put me in one of his movies down towards the end he put me in one with uh with uh who directed harry harry i was in uh the fourth tenor which one were you in i was in the jail one back my midnight when he goes i like you kid just come in every day they didn't have a name for my

character you were just kid i would just walk up to they'd say am i working tomorrow i don't know go see Rodney and i go to the trailer and i knock and he go what's up am i working tomorrow yeah jojo come down the mall come down hang out we'll find you something you're all right you're all right it's fucking amazing the journey and that was one of the guys that another one that i never thought i was in front of the laugh acting like i need somebody to reach out and touch me and they called me and said you have no addition for new Rodney movie they have an offer on the road but they still want you to come in harry called me in which i'll never ever uh i'll always be grateful to harry for that yeah he's a good guy he's doing we're doing a gig july fourth weekend at the uh

what's it called a coronata del coronata hotel the woman that did something like it hot okay san diego harry's gonna host and me and jim jim the guy with the bass fiddle you know him the uh the english guy jim tabaret i don't know what that is oh he's good no is he's still doing the vegas uh harry basal still working the vegas is uh five five three yeah uh he he uh he's i think part owner part manager and he still does his act there very nicely see what you learn you learn that fucking persistence page look at that fucking smile on his face how long how long total you've been doing stand-up for now since well i passed the improv in 1980 so i guess a year before that the improv in new york so 32 years 34 years something like that 33 years like i said joey if

i ain't good now it ain't gonna happen it ain't gonna tweak in next week that's fucking brilliant career you motherfuckers can't do something for three weeks three fucking weeks don't call them motherfuckers you cocksuckers get on the computer and you gotta mind fuck i'm gonna kick start a movie go fuck yourself for kick start a cocksucker you gotta put in the time 32 fucking years we also did a movie together i don't know if it's it's gotten released 18 times they released the three years in a row they can't get a release date the boxing movie jake lamada oh you're in there the raging bully i never saw it me neither me neither they did a screening what's the guy's name the director i don't know everybody's in that movie nice guy though i like every italian nla is in

that movie even bill bellamy who uh who was a real good actor tv actor not joe bologna uh figure came over the italian guy real good he's got a series there was a lot of people joe montaigne martin gooey lee joe montaigne paulie from goodfellas was in it michael whatever was in it i mean read the list there was some fucking people willing foresight joe montaigne paul cerrino uh well cerrino was in it yeah i did not seem to have cerrino great actor tom seismor was in it who else joe cortezi that's right joe cortezi davidson i was just watching cerrino gloris leachman yeah well star cast i love her keep reading it goes deep i'm telling you let's see the fuck lee is slipping keep reading i'm trying i'm trying to see for like good names

russel gannon i don't know if you know they're all good names john d i alexander seth bailey dav cobra anthony bonaventura i right thing i know i don't know eight thousand names let me give some shout outs here to some beautiful fucking people who are twig love in the whole thing i don't even know what the fuck i wrote here pay alex magin slander zojo 39 rubin garabee alabama smooth and mighty far you get a fucking shot out all right on monday night have a fucking party do whatever the fuck you need to do you know uncle joey loves you don't worry what can i say at that domarera is my uh twitter at domarera is your twitter and uh domarera live from laugh factory uh or my podcast domarera live from laugh factory

and maybe six months whenever you want to come on again no i've done it twice already to give podcast love i don't want to ride you but i just want you i love when you do it you know me i love all that shit i love going into hollywood seeing some crazy people i'm looking forward to this weekend domarera for many reasons to sit there and watch you because it's always really good to sit there and watch somebody and get inspired and learn so uh to me this weekend isn't about the dough or lee breaking my balls a weekend because he wants salami in the green room you know this is lee always complains what's the fucking salami in the green room lease change lease change remember the old lee you could talk to him he's he was down there down now he won't even read fucking names

not that he won't do it not see how he would be like fucking sponsors he don't give a fuck lee used to be a little guy now he's a big shot limo's bitches i hate to say you bastard but i'm thinking i'm thinking it i'm not saying i'm fucking buying him denny's single in my life's vitamins and shit let's give a shot talk speak of the vitamins you know you got good vitamins and you got bad vitamins out there you got people don't give a fuck as far as people will give a fuck you gotta go to on it on it is not even a vitamin it's a supplement makes you a fucking superhero let me tell you something if superman had on it there would be no fucking kryptonite that's how good on it is a lot of people don't know it starts with alpha brain it starts with the

hem force protein shakes it starts with the hem force bars the digestive enzymes you know what the list doesn't end the shroom tech we review this shit every podcast and you motherfuckers are slipping if you don't believe me try alpha brain you got a hundred percent free fucking guarantee you do an alpha brain you fucking smoke a joint and you whack off in the fucking dark and see what happens to you it's a fucking master plan you understand me you sling dick longer you get more fucking energy you think more creatively instead of just fucking straight you're throwing the air and punch on the way down lee this is the shit you gotta do nowadays that was beautiful without even reading the cue card no we need to fucking cue card i'm talking to these people from

the fucking heart here fuck a cue card i'm telling you right now not the shit go to honet.com see what works for you if you don't believe me start with the fucking alpha brain you got a hundred percent money back guarantee you don't have to send back the product we don't give a fuck if you're snorted put it with a car a turkey base throw up your asshole this shit fucking works you understand me the same thing with shroom tech the shit works you it's not gonna burst energy you're not gonna go flying out the window with fucking feathers but when you're rolling or you're running you're gonna be able to put in that extra time and that's where the fucking benefit comes in trust me i'm telling you i'm a fat fuck i believe in this shit honet.com go to fucking joeydeas.net

and press church in the fucking box c h u r c h get 10% off look into the stay on the program it will change your fucking life talking about shit getting sent to your house how many times you gotta get up in the middle of the night and go down to 7 11 or go get a fucking pizza and now you're over your points and you're a fat fuck you can't wear your bikini at the those days have come to an end you know why because uncle joey's got nature's box for you that's why nutritious delicious gluten-free pistachio whatever the fuck you want they got spicy pistachios cocoa covered almonds black and white fucking granola i can't stress this enough and here's the best part you ready for this domino it comes to your fucking house every month the first order

50% on the house gratis because you're gonna put in the code what's the code joey joey j o e y in the box for natures you get 50 fucking percent off your first order so if you're 100 bunch of fucking snacks you get them for 50 fucking dollars that's a deal a jew can't even fucking turn down i'm not talking about ostracism i'm talking about jews in general anyway i'm just dropping on your people so you're fucking normal i'm sick and tired of telling you this shit about fucking natures box that delicious late night you're sitting there you just whacked off you don't have time to go for a fucking cheeseburger you're going your cabin you get some sesame sticks you get some protein everything is beautiful you sleep like a fucking baby and nobody had to get up and

go to white cast and argue with them fucking Puerto Rico in life i'm making your life easier and fucking the church or what's happening now conch suckers go to natures box and press joey in the box joey y on top of that my favorite fucking people nailed it life you're looking for a vapor pen you don't want to vapor pen falls and it's not these fucking people nailed it life is tremendous and the pen does fall there's a thing you call my man david within fucking 24 hours you get new battery because they know customer service is fucking essential they want to hook you for life they got a fucking tremendous goomy bear you eat their fucking goomy bear i guarantee you will see fucking black people understand me in your apartment even if you're white in your apartment

yeah whatever so what i'm trying to drop when you people is they don't fuck around over and nail their life they have a tremendous vapor pen and if you mention the church joey Diaz joey Diaz is nutsack don marrera the flying jew you get 20 off your first fucking order on the pen and you get a guarantee who's better than us go right now stop this shit support these people they help us bring the podcast live to you on a daily basis on it naturesbox.com and nail their life right talk suckers what else are you doing three more podcasts a week no i'm doing three more podcasts i'm doing tonight i'm done for the fucking week i was with the questions hey joe thanks for doing it tonight relax we still got another hour and a half relax we got shit to do i got a pee i got

the spumoni coming no i got it's crazy i got a fucking silly thing you're dealing with it you think you're dealing with some fucking novice i got spumoni i got fucking to a lean i got everything perjude we're not gonna leave off the dialy you'll be on that fucking treadmill to the year 25 25 you want to walk them there i'll just talk to these people alone don't say anything nice by myself i love you motherfuckers on a daily basis this was a special fucking podcast for you because we're not doing one wednesday morning thom and rara came in and was very fucking nice i appreciate you people hanging around and giving us fucking props on the monday night i want a little crazy thing with the flag list and some days you gotta get fucking stoned all right what do you want

from me you want me to walk around straight and be some fucking okie dope motherfucker fuck that shit i got shit to do you understand me i get up in the mornings i go to fucking digits i'm trying to put it together i'm a fat fuck i ain't no fucking andre gal vow but i gotta keep fucking going you understand me because that's the only way i'm gonna lose this fucking fatness and these fucking fat cells and shit look at this cocksucker bothering with this new fucking head cut i hope you put gel in your head cocksucker i made it a point to look after the channel i've brushed it like Joey gave me six second you're supposed to go walk around the park you think he walks around the park he's a i went to the gym for 15 minutes i went to the gym for 15 minutes no okay so here

this is park where you bothering me for no let me defend myself what the fuck you're sitting here like i can't get in your eyes or sealed shut okay but stop coughing bothering me now all right guys listen to this so this is park to the biggest intersection in north hollywood i see a parking spot at 8 30 in the morning and i went to go take a left here we go and it was rush hour traffic and i was high in the goomy and i had a panic attack and i had to go home but i went to the i went to the gym and did 50 minutes on the elliptical first time ever why you bullshit me i know i took a picture of it because the new one somebody said they saw you you were fucking watching tv eating apples with the fucking water at the gym at the gym where do you sit down and watch tv

you know you sit down and watch tv don't fucking let me you know why you bullshit me why you bullshit me how long did you go to y4 the other place all place hmm 24 fitness yeah 15 minutes 15 50 50 you did the whole thing for 50 yeah i mean it was like on like level four so it's not nothing fancy but Lisa had just started his work on next day he was like yeah it looked like a fucking x-ray no oh you'll see just a less chubby one he's a handsome little devil you know what i'm saying but i love you cocksuckers thank you for today for the two pockets i want to thank tom orare please thank you joe if you're not doing nothing this weekend you're in the valley pasadena calabasas i don't give a fuck where you are come on down 8 30 10 30

show the shows will be packed fantastic bitches explosives people be dumping up and down there'll be drugs down there if you take mushrooms cocaine heroin everything will be available everything's everything's legal we don't fuck around these fucking shows this is a festival we got everything down there bazookas guns sons of anarchy you'll be down there riding motorcycles what else the flying jewel be there yeah what night are you coming i don't maybe saturday not coming with the broad are you i can't be shown up there with the bra all these bitches last time we did a show there was some chick stalking lean shit all those are creepy things look like a professional dick sucker don't know she didn't she was lost she was cute but she looked like that's what you think professional

dick suckers look like they got it together they're lost they won't know about like i like she came in because she saw her on a flyer somewhere and she saw the flying jewel was going to be no she didn't she was checking you out come on cut it out you gotta give yourself more credit you're a sexy fucking jew you are hot he's fucking hot you got some music for us or what huh you got some music for us or what yeah yeah it's a show over it's fucking over that's it don't you feel it don't you feel the electricity in the air cocksuck that's it oh thank you brother i love you my brother thank you very much for coming in you guys are always great i love you cocksucker stay black lee hit it tell them tell them what's going on i'm telling them we'll take your time all right

i don't like his attitude lately no no he's changed he's changed better he's better he's changed i'm sorry now that the show is over remember to go to naturebox.com and order great tasting healthy snacks at 50 off snacks martyr in the new year with healthy and delicious treats like everything bagel chips and baked sweet potato fries support the podcast and get 50 off of your first order go to naturebox.com promo code joey that's naturebox.com promo code joey go to onnet.com and use promo code church to get 10% off of supplements and they also have workout stuff and everything you need there and go to nailthelep.com for the premiere rate prep on the market mention joey ds and get 20% off

when i get to the bottom i go back to the top of the slide well stop and turn and go for a ride till i get to the bottom and i see you again but do you don't you want me to love you i'm coming down fast but i'm miles above you tell me tell me tell me come on down give me an answer oh have the scale down have the scale down have the scale down yeah oh

i'm coming down fast but don't let me break you ah have the scale down have the scale down When I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide And I stop and I turn and I go right And I get to the bottom and I feel again But do you, don't you want me to make you? I'm coming down fast but don't let me break you Tell me, tell me, tell me around like the baby of love

But you ain't no dancer Look out at the skyline At the skyline At the skyline Look out at the skyline To come and hug me Next to you Yes!

I'm coming down fast but don't let me break you Let's go