Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #191 - Joey Diaz, George Garcia and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: June 30, 2014

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined by the host of MMA Junkie, George Garcia. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. Escapepodtank.com Mention Joey or the Church and get $250 off. Recorded on 06/30/2014.

This show is sponsored by dollarshaveclub.com. Get high quality razors sent to your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now go to dollarshaveclub.com slash church, then it's dollarshaveclub.com slash church, or just go to joeideas.net and click on the Dollar Shave Club banner. This show is also sponsored by On It. They have all of your nutrients, your supplements like Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Immune, Shroom Tech Sport. Go there and use the code word church to get 10% off. And lastly, the show is sponsored by escapepodtank.com. They're already gonna save you thousands on sensory deprivation tanks, but if you go and mention the church of what's happening now, joeideas, anything like that, they're gonna save you

millions, 250 dollars. Millions, they'll fucking save you cocksucker on a Monday morning. Hit that, Leo. Hit that shit up, Lee cocksucker. Wake up, cocksuckers. You bad motherfuckers. It's time to wash your pussy, scrub it, do what you need to do. It's Monday, June 30th. It's over. Get the Chinese guy to deliver the fireworks. The 4th of July is fucking happening. Mad flavor, Lee Syat. Kick this motherfucker, Lee. Wiggle, Lee. Wiggle, cocksuckers. Monday, June 14th. The day the devil went down in flames, fuck that cocksucker. The church of what's happening now. Oh shit. Oh shit. What the fuck you been saying? What happened to you last night? You see you're gonna call me back,

you never called me back. I fell asleep. No, I fucking, I didn't fall asleep till like midnight or something. I couldn't fall asleep. I was tired from the night before, but last time I called, you said you were gonna sleep and you called me back and shit. You never called me back. I was with my bitches. What's with the questions? What's happening, you beautiful motherfuckers? Monday, June 30th. We're here. Finally. Shit, you're gay. What the fuck you been, Joey? Listen, lately we've been doubling up on the podcast, guest command, Tuesday night, Wednesday, Mondays. I gotta do my shit. I can't do 10 fucking podcasts so we can people be mad at me. But it was a great weekend in Pasadena. Lee came out Saturday,

as usual. He was stoned to the fucking gills, sitting there like a fucking mope. And I kept saying, Lee, you gotta get up. He wouldn't fucking kept looking at the potato chips. Oh, no, it's tough with the fight of three quarters of a green horn. I was fucking gone. But no, it was a great time. Everyone was nice. Both shows were sold out, dumb. You know what? It's really, I was in this town especially. I always, if someone's nice to me that doesn't have to be, especially like, I watched Dom Herrera and fucking Seinfeld. If I had gone into how much my mom, my mom probably is every episode of Seinfeld memorized. And seeing Dom Herrera because he was young in Seinfeld. And he was nice. He was messing with me. And it was a lot of fun. So it was great

coming outside. Everybody fucks with you, Lee. Well, yeah. Well, no, but it was, it's just, it was, you expect someone like that. Like you go in and you say hi and he's in this phone. He has a posse. He was a nice guy. No, he's a nice guy. He's a great guy, man. It's amazing that he was here last week and you know, the podcast was a little weird because I was looking at him and I'm looking at Dom Herrera thinking to myself, this is one of the guys I, it's not idolized. I don't know if that's the word, but I watched him. He guided me in the beginning. I guess that's the word. Like I watched that. I watched that tape, Lee. I can't even tell you, it's embarrassing how many times I watched it. You sure it's me one of the first times you hung out? Yeah. It was something that,

it's your blueprint as a comic. Like everybody has something different. Like when they're, when they're brick mason, they go to some book or when somebody's in like, I don't even fucking know what I'm saying. All I do know is when, you know, when I first started comedy, I didn't know. It's not like you go up to a comedian and ask him a bunch of fucking questions. So what you have to do is just watch. And that was the tape that was hot to watch. Those were the hot guys, you know? You know, when I started comedy, there was so much comedy on television. It was fucking ridiculous. MTV had two different stand-up shows. A&E used to have a stand-up show. Wow. Fox had a stand-up show in the mornings with Rosie O'Donnell hosting. There was so many

different stand-up avenues to go to, you know? So I remember watching Felicia Michaels in 1992. I remember sitting there in my room and watching Felicia Michaels on comedy, kamikaze, you know, and you thought that they were big then, that there was more exposure for a comedian back then. So why did it go away? Because I think people got, you know, stand-up went mainstream. Stand-up went so fucking big for a while. So I think that there was just too much stand-up on television. I don't know what the fuck happened. But when I first started, I mean, there was Sunday Morning Comics with Lenny Clark. He took over for Rosie O'Donnell. There was that kamikaze. I think MTV had two different stand-up shows. And I used to see all those guys, man, whether it was Felicia

Michaels, Hangar and Mr. Cooper, Tom Rhodes. I remember seeing Doug Stano on fucking evening at the improv. Evening at the improv was on A&E. That was on A&E and comedy on the road went on A&E. So every week they went to a different comedy club in the country and they shot a comedy special with the top comics from that area. So it was pretty interesting. They would go to Tucson, they would go to fucking Houston, Texas, they would go to Cameroon. That sounds like it would do great now. I'm surprised they're not bringing it back with everything they redo. You know, somewhere along the line the stand-up agenda went somewhere. It was really funny this weekend. Two things were fucking crazy this weekend. I went to the beach

yesterday. That was great. You used to go a lot. You used to go every weekend. Listen, man, there's no reason to live in California unless you're going to go to the beach. If you really fucking think about it, if you really think about the purpose why you live in California, why don't you pack up tomorrow and go back to Boston? Because it's fucking cold as shit. Well, the ocean is nice. But the thing, listen, I was in Jiu-Jitsu maybe nine months ago on a Friday night. This is when I could go at night. And one of the girls went to North Hollywood and I heard her talking. My name is Deborah. She's very nice. She's a young girl, 1920. And I couldn't even fathom that. I couldn't even fathom that. I drive past that school eight times

a fucking day and I never even looked at it and fathomed or something. Somebody going to school there, my cousins went to school here. You follow me? I have friends that went to school here. I can't fathom that. Yeah, it must be weird. It's weird. So I heard her talking and I heard people from like Michigan and somewhere else talking. And it was saying that Sunday they went downtown. It was a nightmare. There was some type of fare. There was a lot of traffic. And I heard her go, I don't know what the fuck you people even do that for. You live in California, the weekends are for the beach. And it really fucking dawned on me. I really started thinking, I'm like, she's right. You know, she's fucking absolutely right. So this week, I can't sit around here no more.

I just can't leave. I can't fucking do it. If you know anything about me, man, I need action in my daytime, you know, and there's days I get up and I hit like a kettlebell class and I run here. But there's weeks in this fucking business that are just brutally slow. And today I have shit to do. But for the most part, by Thursday, if I don't go on the road, it's fucking brutal around here. You know, I have things to do, but the gaps are too far and far between. So I have something at nine, and then I have something at one. So I can't even get something in between going, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. So what I do is I push it all to the afternoon. And we leave here at eight in the morning. And that's what we're doing Thursday.

We're getting the fuck out of here eight in the morning. Oh, that's what works. You know, we call somebody called us last week and said, Do you want to go to the beach on Saturday? And we're like, Yeah. But the Sunday, but the problem is they want to go into the beach to 11. And they were going to seal fucking beach, which is all the way down by fucking long beach, which means you don't get it on the sand till 1230. If everything goes correctly, you know what I'm saying? I can't go for that shit. I like to go on the beach, get it over with, catch the sun before lunchtime. And once 1230 comes quarter to one, you're fucking out of there. You're done and you're back on the way back. So that's what I did yesterday. And it was just, just amazing. Just to sit out there,

just to sit out there for one fucking hour, took away everything, like just to listen to the ocean for one fucking hour. Like I couldn't even focus on stand up. I couldn't focus on the podcast. I couldn't focus on my future. I couldn't focus on the book. I couldn't focus on anything. I was trying to think a script and I couldn't, the ocean wouldn't let it. It occupied my thoughts. And just to see it's amazing, the strength and the power of the ocean. Yeah, I lived in Colorado. I lived in Colorado and I used to go to the mountains and you sit there and you could actually feel something from the mountains. I know you people sitting at home going, Joey, what the fuck are you smoking this morning? No, I'm telling you right now. When you live in Boulder and when

you live in Aspen and when you go to Vale and you hike and you get up to those mountain tops, when you just shut the fuck up and close your eyes, you feel something. You feel this energy, this weird energy, like you're tall, you know, you feel something. It's the same. That's the reason why you live in those parts of the country. You know, that's the reason why you live in those parts of the country to enjoy them. So it's, it's, you know me, Lee, you know I fucking hate driving. You know I fucking hate getting in the car on a Sunday and driving. But to go to the beach, I always, I don't mind it. The only thing that sucks is you got to go down to Panga Canyon. That's the worst. And that thing, I get dizzy. Mercy always gets sick. So I hear it going, uh, I go, Terry,

turn around. Terry, turn around. Why? She didn't eat nothing. Terry, turn around. She's going to get sick. I can tell. I even was doing 10 down the mountain. People were going by me, flipping me off. I didn't give a fuck. I didn't want her to get sick, but she gets sick all the time. So I got to go the other way. I got to go up Sunset and loop up fucking the 405, which wasn't bad. It wasn't bad. Let me tell you something. The beach is a great fucking place. It really is. And I always forget the power of the ocean. When you just sit there and look at the ocean for a little while and I was fucking around on stage, people who look at whales. I don't look for whales. I just look for the ocean. I just want to see where that wave originates and what it brings in. And I always

look, I don't see, we wake up. I don't see no fucking sharks. I never seen no fucking whale. It's really cool though. When they take your whale watches out here, there's, especially right in like Marina Del Rey, like there's dolphins out there. So I went on one once and like dolphins follow the boat and they're doing flips. I have videos of it on my phone. It's fucking amazing. You should take mercy. They have like hundreds of dolphins just like right underneath. They must know the boats are there and people must give them food or something. And they just follow the boat. When you go out, like I love going on boats. It's fucking cool. I like, I forget, you know, you forget how much you enjoy. So that's, that's the fucking thought. Do you go in? Yeah, I went up to

my waist. That's fun. Mercy the fucking water knocked her over. She was yelling at the ocean. That she was yelling at a duck. But it's, it's just great. If you fucking live here, man, you gotta go down there. But then the other thing that I had to talk to you guys about is, it's real important I talk to you about this. When I got arrested, when you get arrested, you don't know what the fuck to do. You know, you really don't. And I kept getting arrested for little things. So I knew to keep my mouth shut. When I got arrested for the big thing, I didn't know what to do either. So I kept my mouth shut. You don't say nothing. And when you get locked up, it's funny, you get put in a cell with people for three days. And I love these people that go to jail. They're like,

yeah, I don't know homie. This guy just murdered somebody. Right. What are you talking about? Your new fucking homie. You don't even know where this guy's from. It's amazing how fast criminals click. And when I got locked up that time, I knew the rule, shut your fucking mouth, sit in your trailer, whatever the fuck it is, you're bunk. And don't say much. I didn't say nothing. You know, I listen to people's stories and people want to talk to you. But there was one particular guy that was really interesting. And I watched him for a couple of days. And he was, if I was 27 or 26, maybe he was 33 or something like that. And I started talking to him. He was from New York somewhere. Can I see really older guy, you know, whatever, you know, when somebody's

not your age, when you're 25, everybody's older, you know, or that's at least it was to me. If you're not 25, you're fucking an old man. So to me, he was a little older. And we started talking. And he had told me what he had done. He had gotten caught on a, on a drug thing. And they came to him and they, they told him that the people he was dealing with were big people, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So he knew the area really well. So the feds had gotten involved in this case. So he told the feds that he could buy 10 kilos of coke or some shit. Do you know they were the feds? Yeah, you know, the fucking feds, this is after he got arrested. Okay, okay. The feds came to him and they told me it was like 20 years before that he had to make a

buy. So he fucking was out on the street. And he told the feds, I'll do the buy for you first, stay out of jail. I mean, it was fucking brilliant. And he made the feds drive him to a house. They gave him cash. And he walked in the front of the house and he had his buddy waiting for him in the back of the house. And he left through the back door and he escaped. He escaped with the feds money. I mean, as smart as the fucking feds are, this is so you people know this shit. You know, so you people don't think that it's all like NYPD blew that they catch in all this shit. The feds drove him to the gig. They had other cars there. He went through the front. He did something. He jumped out the back window and he had a friend waiting for him back there with the

money and the blow and they left and they caught him two years later. It took him two years. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Two years and he was telling me how, you know, you always keep them. I didn't know the logistics of being insane. He goes, you always, he goes, you don't rat, but you give him something to keep them that you might and the whole time you're buying time. What this is all about is buying time. Jiu-jitsu is about making a space. It's creating a space to get back to your guard. When you push that guy away, you're slipping your knee in there. So you create space and that's the same thing you're doing when they have you in that room. You know, you're not giving them no information. You're not a rat, but you might throw out there that, you know, a guy that's got 50 kilos in his

house that the deal is right. Okay. Let me, I want to ask you something and it's not meant to be offensive, but if the guy, obviously it has been a criminal for a while, right? Like, like to me, hearing it, like, why are you taking advice? It's like, it's like taking weight loss advice from a thousand pound person. Like, why would you take advice, like life advice from someone who got caught and is in jail and like a criminal? Like, it sounds like a terrible idea. You become a better criminal when you go to prison. Okay. Because now you, you listen to 10 people tell you how they got caught. I got that, but weren't you trying not to be a criminal after that? It wasn't that I was trying not to be a criminal. I'm just trying to survive. Okay. Your

goal is to stay out of jail. Your goal is to keep making money. That's your goal. Okay. Okay. You're not going to rat on nobody. You know, when, uh, when the guy that led the Medellin cartel, the guy that ran the Medellin cartel went to prison in New York and he became friends with other smugglers, one of them being the guy George Jung. I think that was one of his friends that did blow. Yeah, it was. That, that's it. That was one of his friends that he became friends with who taught him how to smuggle. When you go to prison, you learn from them. If you have six conflict friends, they'll tell you their story and you will be blown away on how they got caught and you learn things to avoid. So when you're in the drug business, you hang out with people

that are in the drug business inside jail and you exchange information. If you ever go through here, don't go through that, you know, and you get away. It's amazing. It's like going to college for criminals. It's not, it sounds like, like that Tom Cruise movie where he woke up every day and just had to do things a little bit differently. I can't imagine having the mindset where you're like, jail is just a way it's like, it's like monopoly jail. You just stop there and you don't go the same way again last time. You're going to get out and do it again. Like that's, that's a crazy mindset to have. Lee, when you make the choice, when you look me in the face and go, Joey, I'm done. I'm not going to edit no more. I got a thousand customers I could sell coke to. I have,

I'm a kilo guy and I have ounce of guys and I ask you whether you make a week and you tell me like $30,000 a week. That's $120,000 a month. That's 1.2 million. That's 1.5 million a year. Okay. In that, in your mindset, you know that there's going to be some time involved. If not, you're a fool. If not, you're a fool. You're following me. If I tell you that after 20 years, I'm going to go on stage and do great at reset. I'm a fucking fool. I know the percentages that you're going to bomb. Okay. And a smart criminal, a smart human being knows percentages and he knows odds and he knows what are the odds against them. Don't, don't, doesn't the government take your money when you go to jail? Yes, they do. So if, if, if you have it out laying around, there's people that have tons

of money when they go to jail, but they have it so hidden and so many different variations that you don't fuck. Cause you can't keep it in banks. Cause then it's gone. You can't keep it in banks. You can't keep it in safe deposit boxes. You can't really. So you have to have like a mom or an aunt that you trust somebody that's not going to rob you that you're going to give some money to and they're going to hide it really well. And you know, that, that's all you have. And then you have to trust somebody. It's like me giving you $100,000 only. I'm going away for four years. I have this for me when I get out of jail. Okay. You have to trust somebody. You have to have like a friend. Yeah. But you know, if you're a good criminal, that the percentages are,

you're going to get nailed. When you have a talk with Gabriel Laces, he's the hottest comic in the country. He's a great comedian, but Gabriel will tell you that he works harder now than he'll ever work because of his window. Anybody who thinks they're going to be Louis CK forever is confused. Dane Cook, did you think 10 years ago that Dane Cook, you wouldn't hear from Dane Cook? No, that's crazy. Yeah. Did you think that he got a pilot shot last year? Didn't even air and got canceled? This is the same Dane Cook. But when you're that hot, you never think that this is going to end. Only somebody smart knows that this ride is going to end. You know, when I got out of jail, I worked at a car wash and I started robbing with this girl. I told the story on the podcast.

We were robbed customers. They come in and when they pay cash, we took the cash from the car wash. And she was the cash register girl. I quit that job. That was the first time I ever used my brains in my life was at the age of 30 because I knew eventually I was going to get caught. And everybody did business at this car wash. So the word was going to get out. So I did something a lot of people don't do. I just quit. I quit while I was making 10,000 a week in there because I knew I was going to get caught. The odds are always against. So this was after you went to prison, right? This is after I went to prison. I was telling Josh Wolf on the podcast last week with him that when I was doing blow, I got attracted to people who did blow. Any time a situation came which

made blow, I couldn't believe it sometimes. I could not believe it. Most people want to meet like a producer to put them in a movie or something. I would meet people who dealt massive amount of blow and would give me blow. It's ridiculous. But when you're in that circle, that's what you fucking keep meeting. It's just such a... So when he went back to the story about this guy, he told me to fuck with them. He goes fuck with them a little bit. So there was a situation where I fired my first attorney because I got a court appointed attorney. What happens is when you got arrested with three people, all right? And one of them does... The first guy who asked for an attorney, if he doesn't have money to have an attorney, they give him a public defender.

That means now you're in the money because you can't have a public defender because it's conflict of interest. So the state has to pay for a real attorney for you. So you always hold out. You never the first one to get the public defender? No, I didn't get arrested first. So Tidwell got arrested and he was a veller. So I came in last. So right away, I knew a public defender wasn't going to have me. I was going to get a good attorney. So the state got this guy, Sonny Flowers, to represent me. He was the first... His grandmother was the first black graduate out of Boulder, Colorado. The guy was a sellout. I'm not saying this because he was black or whatever. The guy was just a sellout. He was a black guy amongst 100,000 white people. He had to do what he had to do to survive as an

attorney. So the first deal he made at me was nine years violent. Like, it didn't happen too. And I was like, what are you fucking kidding me? First, I kept putting it off because it was the holidays. He said, sign the deal now and you won't have to do time till next fucking year. You won't have to turn yourself in till next December. I was like, fuck you. I wanted the witness to disappear. I wanted the witness to get in trouble again. The more the witness got in trouble, the more the witness had problems, it would benefit to me. Do you understand me? So I knew. So the moral of the story is when after they, I fired the attorney. Like January, I wanted to buy time. So I went to court on a Monday to get a new attorney that we're going to appoint a new attorney.

In the meantime, I was already meeting with attorneys. But it's a funny story. I went to court and it wasn't judged well upon the judge who sent me. It was a different judge. And the judge told me, he goes, all right, you have three weeks to find a new attorney, blah, blah, blah. But my court clerk would like to talk to you. So she wants to get some information from you. So after the thing, go on the back. So I'll never forget that I sat down and Leah didn't expect this at all. It was a fucking shock to me. It was a Monday morning. It was nine in the morning. I probably did blow till six in the morning. I was out of it. I was just a walking zombie back then. And I went into the back chambers and the girl came out and she goes, there's people here to see you. And I didn't know

what she was talking about. And there was two feds. There was two cops there. I didn't even know what the fuck they wanted. They introduced themselves and they had a yellow manila envelope. And they started talking to me and they're like, listen, man, the DEA or whatever has information on you. And they started throwing pictures at me. Lee, it was pictures of me fucking, not doing blow, but pretty much everything else around it. Like from Colorado, they had pictures of me talking to people, exchanging, making exchanges. You know, they had pictures of me at a bar. I mean, it was fucking mind bogglingly. It was how long had they been following you? They weren't with me. They weren't on me in Boulder at all. They were on me in Aspen and

Snowmass Village. This is fucking 30 years ago. This is 20-something years ago. Did I know at the time I knew something was going on in Aspen because one of the girls, somebody had approached me and that guy came up to me and was very aggressive. That's how you know if people come with bad intentions. If Lee Syac comes to me and for a month he buys a grandma blow every day, and then one day out of the blue he wants to buy a pound of coke, something ain't right. You understand me. You already know these things. If Lee comes to me three days in a row, the first time I meet him, he goes, your coke is fucking tremendous. Can I buy two ounces? That's a cop because they need two ounces. But they'll do multiple buys to make the court case a lot

stronger when you go to court. So undercover cop will always make multiple buys unless you're that much of an asshole that'll sell them 10 pounds the first meeting. Follow me. They want multiple buys because it makes that case stronger. So I knew that this guy kept coming to me and every time he'd come to me he'd buy a couple grams cash, but he always talked to me about, man, these people I know want to buy 16 fucking kilos. If you go to New York, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about. You want to buy a grandma blow? You can buy a grandma blow. I got to get it from a friend of mine. I'm doing you a favor. I wasn't doing you no favor, but this is what I was saying to him in case they're

taping me. So all these things, they came to me, Lee, and they said, if you roll on this guy, and this guy, and this guy, you're done. And Lee, I got to look in the alley like a man, and I looked to podcast people in the alley like a man, and at no time was I thinking of rolling. At no time. At no time, but they even fucking rolled in my mind. Okay, were these good friends or like, no, they were just people that I knew that they were like, if you go out there and just bring us cocaine people, like give us your sources, they were just fishing. And they were like, we know who they are, you know, you know who they are, you know, with that fucking, that seven o'clock cop show mentality. And I remember sitting there going,

okay, give me your numbers and I'll call you and I'll set you up. You know, I left there, like, I remember what that guy told me. I remember what that guy told me, he goes, string them along. So they always think you have something, then blast them, say you got dick for them, let them figure it out for themselves. Because trust me, if they have something on your league, they'll nail you with it. Well, that's true. But do you think they would have followed along? Like if you had given up your sources, will they have let you just go? No, they were still going to give me time, like assholes, you know, whatever, if I would have accepted the deal. But I could look you in the eye and I could look people nine and you know, I don't fuck around when I tell you

this. I had no doubt in my mind. And it wasn't because I was a tough guy. It wasn't because I was better than you leak is because that's how I was raised. I was raised that you don't know what the fuck they're talking about. You don't know what they're talking. That's something that was taught in me as a little boy, like when I was three, like that you don't rap, you don't fucking tell nothing to nobody. When the cops come, you don't you don't know nothing. And that's your life. You don't know nothing. And you know, you just don't know nothing because there's something that comes with ratting. There's something that comes with ratting. There's just something and I didn't know this when I was 20 at that time. I just knew that you didn't rat. I knew that the

consequences were fucking that bad. I knew that if you did something, you had to step up to it. I always knew these things, whether I was going to do them or not. That's a complete different situation. But I tell you, when I walked out of that room that day, I was like, these fucking idiots, you know, just them to think. Obviously, they didn't look at the fucking, they didn't look at the fucking background check or they didn't look at my mental evaluation from the prison. They didn't do something. They didn't fucking do something because they missed the boat. I was like insulted, but I was happy. I was happy in a way. I'm like, these fucking idiots just showed me their hand. And I was a young man. I was a young man. I remember that I went back and

they called me once or twice and they were like, hey, did you get those names? I'm like, listen, man, get the fuck out. Once I got my attorney down and I bought my time, I told him to fuck off, and then they fucking didn't, they never even talked to me again. But there was nothing in that room and there was reasons for it. There was something, just something. There was something that goes with being a man. Well, I get if it's like, like, if it's your friend, like if it was Lube's or one of the kids you grew up with, like, I get not turning them in. But like you've said before in the podcast, like you didn't, when you were robbing people, you weren't robbing, people were robbing drug dealers. And they, and they, it comes with the territory. Wouldn't

sending the cops on them come with the territory? Like it just, to me, getting out of any prison time sounds great. If they were competition at the time or whatever. Listen, when you're on the street, when you're, and I hate using that term because people say, oh, that's what the media calls it. When you're out there fucking doing shit, that's illegal. I don't care who you are. You're always hedging your bets. You know, when I was a kid, I had two cops, I always talked to. Was I a rat? No, there were acquaintances of mine. I grew up with them, right? One of my best friends till this day, all of those guys that went the first night to see me, they were all cops. I grew up with two or three cops that I had dialogue with. Was I a rat? No, no, no, no, no, no.

I had dialogue with them. Having dialogue with a police officer is completely different. You show me somebody who doesn't have dialogue because all those neighborhoods, you always have a friend that's a cop. Somebody you grew up with is a cop and he'll come to you from time to time and go, Hey man, not for nothing. What's up with your buddy, Lisa? Okay. Does he still fucking? Is he still snorting coke? Like they'll say little things. And then you have to say something back to them. You grew up with them. You know that you can't get around them. You stick up for them, but you do it very subtly. That doesn't mean you're a rat. You have information. There's information. Information is golden. You're not saying you're a rat. You know what I'm saying?

He'll say to me, Hey, tell your boy, Lee, to fucking lay down with those computers that cops know that he robbed the truck off the Route 70 or whatever. You follow me? Yeah. And then there's dialogue there. I don't know what you're talking about. Sounds like a great line. I mean, you follow me. There's dialogue with every cop. When the cops come to you in that realm is when I knew when I walked out of that room, Lee, I knew. And Lee, there was just, I don't know, it was just do me a favor, play that Sinatra. This is a piece of my way. I love this song. I put it on the Facebook this morning. A lot of young guys yell at me, but I want you to hear what he says at the end. Blast this motherfucker. What is a man? What does he got?

If not himself, then he has not. To say the things he truly feels, you motherfuckers, and not like the rest of these motherfuckers that are kneeling. Look. Of one who kneels and sucks dick. The record shows. I did the fucking blow and I did it my fucking way. And that's what a man does. That's what a fucking man does. That's why people only listen to Sinatra no more. Because there's no fucking men walking around. If you listen to this shit every fucking day, every fucking day you listen to this shit. You'll fucking be, that's it. Put it on again, Lee. Three fucking ten, three, thirteen. This is fucking Sinatra. This is what they listen to.

What's this? For what is a man? What does he got? If you don't got you, you ain't got this. What the fuck you think you're dealing with here, huh? It's Monday morning on the fucking church. I'm dropping fucking Sinatra my way. Just to get it in your head, motherfuckers. It's your fucking world. Why fucking wreck? I fucking hate that shit. I fucking always hated that shit, Lisa. I can't understand. And years later when I got to meet, I didn't get to meet Henry Hill. Somebody told me he was at the comedy store. I was in the back of the comedy store. And somebody said, run up front. Henry Hill's here. And I couldn't believe

that people were enamored with this man. I can't believe that till today when somebody, soon as somebody tells me that somebody rats, that's the end of it. That's the end of it. That's the end of it. That's the weakest fucking point in your life. That's, that's it. Like I can't, there's people I have stopped talking to over fucking them telling something to somebody that I told them or somebody told them, you think I'm kidding you? I refuse. It's something about that principle of a man that I will not fucking tolerate. And it's funny that people get mad even years later. I thought, oh, well, he, he's a fucking rat. There's a kid I grew up with that everybody knows he's a fucking rat. The whole neighborhood knows he ratted on people for years.

And people still, when he comes around, guess who was around? This guy was around. I have avoided that motherfucker. And he was good to me when I was a kid, believe it or not. He was pretty good to me when I was a kid. Up to the time I was about 18 or 19. And then I found out he was a rat and I couldn't have him around. And he ratted Danny being cool a lot. He ratted Kurt out. He ratted so many fucking people. And this guy told today, people always said to me, oh, he's doing well. He's selling trucks. He ain't doing that well because he didn't have his friends. He didn't have the respect of his fucking friends ever, ever. If you said something about this guy around this guy, Lee, you could gamble your ass off. It was going back. Oh, that's the worst. I mean,

luckily, I've never been in like the criminal situation. I get the point of not saying stuff your friends say. Look how cute that little shirt looks like. What are you going to do? My, my, my mother-in-law got it for me. Your mother-in-law got it for me? Like Christmas. But fucking, if I had, if I, for whatever, a horrible reason was going to go to jail, a criminal I might have. I get friends, but criminals, I don't know if I could have done the same thing. What are you going to call him in? What's up, my brother? George. Joe. What's happening, cocksucker? Not much, and you? You know, over here with Lee Syat fucking breaking his balls this morning over here doing a podcast. How are you, my friend?

Yeah, not bad. You know, yesterday, uh, hung out with my family a little that came off in California with my dad's 70th birthday. So that was pretty cool. We watched a little bit of World Cup. I had a fun weekend and a lot of fights on Saturday. So I had a fun weekend. Let me ask you something. What time did your family get up yesterday for the World Cup? Were you one of those Mexicans that got up at seven and started yelling and screaming that they fucking 30 jumping up and down cocksucker? Yeah, that's pretty much us. The thing only comes around every once every four years. So we go pretty nuts. But it's an all day thing. You know, we watch both games and tonight, today, there'll be another two games. Regardless of who's playing, whether

US, Mexico, Brazil, we love the sport. It's crazy. How about you, Joe and Lee? Have you guys been watching? Not a fucking wink. I watched a little bit. It was funny at the gym when Mexico won the game before. They were going crazy. But I watched a little bit of it. It's two. I did like I was the first game of the World Cup. I was on a plane and I really tried to give it a chance. It's a little bit too slow for me. But how crazy is Vegas right now for like this month and a half? They must be loving it. It's nuts. And there's this bar here called McMullen's Irish Pub here in Vegas that they've called themselves the home of the World Cup, but especially fans of the US men's national team. And it's a madhouse. I mean, they're breaking fire codes left and right. Every time the US

team's playing, they're packed to the gills. It's super loud. People are bringing in drums and whistles. I'll tell you what, I always tell everyone else when you're trying a new sport, put some money on it. You know, you don't have to be a baller and put a thousand, but maybe put 100 or 50 or whatever you can afford. You'll definitely get into it then. But you know, it's similar to hockey. You know, there's not going to be much score scoring going on, but there's an appreciation for what they're doing with their feet, their heads, their knees, their chest. Everything bought their hands, you know, in trying to guide the ball into the net. Once it's there, everybody goes nuts. Those soccer commentators in Spanish,

their heads are going to explode because it doesn't happen often. So that's the beauty of it. Isn't it kind of hard to pick a winner? Like no one, no one picked the Netherlands over Mexico, did they? Yeah, I know, of course. The Netherlands have actually been a powerhouse in the sport of soccer. So yeah, that was the, that was kind of a favorite. Put it that way. I know, I know that because I'm here in Vegas. Mexico is a traditional powerhouse as well, but I would say the Netherlands usually goes farther. They went to the finals in 2010. So that's no soccer. They have great players there. Wow. That says how much I know about soccer. I know nothing about soccer. I lived in a, you know, I don't know. I grew up in a time where it wasn't big yet. It was still growing. I didn't even

know that soccer was being played in the US till I got married in 90 and the daughter I had played soccer in grammar school, whatever. That's how I knew. I didn't even know it was in the high school level where I went to school in tennis. So if you guys ever get a chance, or it may be too late, you guys may have already cashed in your chest, you know, your mind might be made up, but if you ever get a chance to travel abroad, especially go to a soccer game, no matter where you are in the world, as soon as you check in your hotel and they say, what can we help you with? You know, and you're talking to the cons here to say, hey, there's a local soccer team playing, especially if you're in a big foreign city like Buenos Aires, Argentina, or Rio de Janeiro,

Brazil, London, England, wherever, man. It doesn't matter. There's no way you'll have a bad time because just the experience itself is pretty nutty. But I think once you kind of get around to people and like I say, just find a way to put 50 bucks on it, you'll get into it. You'll figure out, you know, just how fun the buildup is, the buildup of the goal, you know, the passes that one makes to get to that point and then either you like it or you don't. It's crazy. In 1994, I must have been six or seven years old and it was in, there was a game. I don't know if it was in only in Foxboro, Massachusetts, but there was a game in Foxboro and my dad took me, but I was too young. So like after like 10 minutes, I was like, let's go home. And I was six or seven. I just

couldn't, I was, I wasn't old enough to go there. But even to this day, he'll make fun of me because I just, we went to the World Cup. It was expensive. It was good seats. After I got the food and the, and the foam finger, I wanted to go home. That was it. Well, to this much, one of the biggest regrets of my life will be not going to the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. I've been to Brazil many times. I love it there. But when I was going to host the World Cup, I thought, oh my God, this is the trip of a lifetime. I went to the 2006 World Cup in Germany and had a blast. But I knew that I wanted to go to one more before, you know, before I'm done. And I thought this would have been perfect. And every time I see those images of people partying in Copacabana Beach, whether you, whether you went

to a game or not, just being in the country that hosts a World Cup is something else. I can't go to the next one because it's in Russia. I don't think I'm not too interested in going to Russia, man. I'd have to read the State Department, you know, their little handbook and see if it's safe to go to Russia or what. But I knew that in Brazil, I would feel safe. I've been there many times. And I'm pissed off that I didn't go. It sucks. It's fucking amazing. It's amazing that I got up yesterday. I was headed to the beach and I drove by big wings. There was a million people there. Oh, yeah. Like on a Sunday morning, like there was just people. And I didn't know this was this much interest. So that's why I live in a fucking,

I live in my own fucking bubble, George. I don't even know what the fuck happens after time. But I love it that, you know, amen, all the countries. So they do this every four years. That's it. Yeah. Every four years, the big competition is the World Cup. So 32 teams come from all over the world. They qualify over the course of the two years leading up to it and they narrow it down. And the top 32 countries go and they, you know, they bring like 10 from Europe, six from South America, 40 to where the soccer's the, where the stronger teams are, and, you know, they want to make it a global deal. And now they start to rotate the locations as well. So before it used to just be Russia, South America, five turns, but South Africa got in it

this last time. And, and then they went to, well, the Japan and Korea, they hosted one once. So they're starting to spread it around. You play soccer in high school? No, I'm playing when I was like six or seven, but no, I was never fast enough. When you were in high school, they had soccer in the pro, like, but did they have it in the gym? Not in gym. And gym, like we had weird stuff with like rock climbing stuff like that, but soccer was, they had, they had JV and varsity soccer. Yeah, I never even fucking, I wish I would have. I wish I would have now. What are you going to do, George? You know what I'm saying? You wish you would have cut it. I wish I was Joe Lozan. What am I going to do? I wish I could send more people.

There's no regrets. They're the ones we have to live with. So I always try and tell our audience as well, especially some of the younger folks with the guys that are stumbling around, you know, coming out of high school, just going to a JV and trying to bang chicks, get drunk. They don't know what the hell they're doing. And I try and once in a while give them that little big brother mentor angle of the amen, no regrets, seriously, do what you want. Do what you like. Because when you're young, you're influenced by a lot of people, especially your parents. And sometimes you wind up doing what they want. And then later on, you realize when you're 30 or 40, that that's not what the hell you wanted to do, you know, and you can only be the best at what

you want to do. That's for sure. It's amazing when you're young. How fucking, how old are you now, George? 44. It's amazing when you're 20 and 22, how confused you are, and how confident you are. Don't fuck at that age. You don't know any better. Like, it's so crazy how confident I was, but at the same time, how scared I was. Like, I walked around, like I still walk around scared. I was telling Don Marrera this week, before I got on stage that if I have a show at eight o'clock, I start pissing my pants at five. Like, I literally start pissing my pants at five o'clock. Like, to this day, to this day, to this day. Wow. All them shows into your belt. And I like the fear. I like having the fear. You know, I was watching Chris Wideman last night,

the countdown, which you were on last night. You look very handsome. And Chris Wideman says that when he has a fight, everything's good till the morning of the morning of it's fucking horrible. For me, it's two hours before I fucking have to go on stage. Five o'clock, five, 30. By six, 30, I'm living in doubt. Like, I just, I don't know why I want to go down there. What would happen if I canceled? You know, you just get scared. When I was, I fucking talk to Lee every day, I yell at Lee, because I think about when I was 25, how much more I wish I would have done, you know, the things I would have done differently. But I was out there, you know what I'm saying? I was out there. Now, I have no regrets about that.

I was out there and I was trying to get my life together. I didn't know what to do, but it's amazing how fucking scared you are, man. And I'm sure that viewers, listeners are saying, Joey, I'm 26. I'm not fucking scared. Yes, you are. Yes, you fucking are. And you don't even know it. You know, it's so different how as you get older, you're still scared, but you're not that fucking scared and confused, you know, and you wish you could do it over again to sling fucking dick with three hands, but you get the numbers drawn at you that you do. You know what I'm saying, George? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I think back to, you know, I have cousins that might be 10 years younger. Even my little brother, you know, those is only, he's nine years younger than I am. So sometimes

when he's stumbling along doing stuff, I kind of look, I stay quiet and sometimes I want to chime in other times. I don't, but, you know, unsolicited advice for some, it's not, you know, it's not their thing, you know, but every once in a while when I can try and learn the little wisdom, you know, I do, but you're not the same, man. I'm not the same for when I was 34. 34 was completely different. 24, way, way different. And I wish I could talk to me, you know, 20 years ago, 10 years ago, you have to learn from some of the mistakes. That's for sure. There's nothing wrong with making mistakes. There's nothing wrong with having regrets, but there's nothing wrong with listening to others as well, you know, getting your hands on literature and reading and, and, you know,

picking other people's brains. There's nothing wrong with that either. I think sometimes people have too much pride or they're just not willing to listen. But if they did, then, you know, I don't know. I just think that maybe they could have avoid some of the setbacks to go ahead. No, well, people always gave me advice. It was like certain people that I really trusted that I get, I got advice from, you know, I always listened to. I never understood people that didn't grabs or something. Like, you know, you're walking out of a liquor store, you go in to buy a pack of gum or something like that. And when you walk out, there's some fucking drunk guy and he comes over to you. He says, how you lady, you know, you only get one shot.

You giggle at something like that. You giggle at something like that. But he's saying something he knows. You know, I learned, I learned from my first divorce what to do the second time around. You know, people get mad at me. They always call me and they go, Hey, we're doing this thing Sunday. And we're doing this thing Saturday. You know what, George, from Monday to Friday, I do what I want on Saturdays and Sundays. If I'm home with my family, like if I don't have a comedy gig, I belong to them. And people say, well, doesn't my wife doesn't say nothing to me. If I went home and told my wife I'm meeting George on Saturday at six, we're going out to do Danish. My wife wouldn't complain at all. But that's not what you do. You know what I'm saying?

My weekend is for them. And how did I learn this? I got divorced. I got divorced. That's what I learned from getting divorced, that you have to make time for them. And you have to make time for you and you have to stick to that time, you know, but I'm sure I learned other things from life similar to that, you know, from making mistakes. You're absolutely right, George. You're absolutely right. And I'm still making them to this day. You guys are going to laugh your asses off. But I recently just on Friday, I was at the IRS for four hours, finally submitting some old stuff that I needed to clear up. I'll tell you, it felt so good to know that. All right, I'm caught up with turning everything in. And I know that there's an amount out there that I owe.

And it's not too bad, actually. And that's the part that makes me feel like a like a clot, because this is just something I really could have, you know, addressed. And I kept kind of running away from it. I'll get to it. I'll get to it. But the stupidest thing you can do is obviously, you know, not do your taxes, because you have to pay them one way or another, whether you pay them every month or catch up once a year, whatever you have to do it. And there's these stupid penalties that are involved in just not doing them. And I don't know why I kept thinking, oh, an extension on extension, but an extension really doesn't do much other than post pump, post pump the damage, you know. And anyway, like I said, it felt so good. And it's like a sucker. I looked around.

There was other suckers around me too. And I kept thinking, I'm too good for this. I'm too, I should know better. I should know better than be sitting here and then having an official from the other side looking at me, you know, and all they do is look at quads like me all day as well. And I don't know how they don't, you know, go nuts, but that's their job. They're used to it. And, and, you know, but it's, that's something I learned. I'll tell you what, man, come January, however soon my accountant can take me in. I've already got the money set aside. I'm going to put that behind me and, and, and just do my, do my gig. How about that, man, a 44 year old man still falling behind in a sec. Hey, brother, I walked in there when I was 40

and came clean with them. So when I was 40, it was 11 years ago. So what was that? 2003? I hadn't paid taxes since 1990. I didn't pay taxes for 13 fucking years. And I walked into that office thinking they were going to throw me in jail. And I walked out there with $150 a month payment for five years. And that was it. There you go. And they were nicer than I did. The same thing with the state. I think they were like 113 a month for five fucking years. It was like a bank note. And I thought they were going to throw me in jail. The IRS isn't in business to throw you in jail. And they'll fucking wave all the penalties and fees. Believe it or not, they'll wave it just for you to do your fucking taxes

and pay them off. Give a fuck. It was, I was blown away. I was blown away when I walked in there, how nice they were. I thought they were going to fucking chastise me and brow beat me. Not a fucking thing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Not why didn't you do it? What were you, you know, like they, they plucked down to me. Nothing. She just said, look, anything you made up to the last seven years, it's yours. You got away with it. The last, the last seven years, you got to pay us our fucking buddy. And that's exactly what I did. And today I have moved on from the IRS and from the state. I will not go to jail and have a cell next to Wesley Snipes. I know, how did he not get out of it? There wasn't a way for him to get out of it. I mean,

I thought at the end of the day, whether he owed or not, he still had some money. I just don't see how the case was so bad against him that, you know, he wasn't able to find a way to just, I guess he told him to suck their dick. I guess he told him to suck their dick. Because there's a way, you know, they'll, they'll work with you. But if, didn't they throw Big Joe in jail too? Oh no, Big Joe got out. Fat Joe. I don't know. I know about Wesley Snipes. He did two, three years. And I'll tell you what, he was sucking other people's dick because who knows what the hell that happens in prison. That's one place I definitely want to avoid. Let me tell you something, they put him in expendables and that's all that happens, right? Yeah, they put Fat Joe in jail

for tax evasion. They put him in jail for how long? Oh, he was released in November. For how long did he do? He did a couple of weeks or something. Yeah, they told you're asking jail when you were a celebrity and you told them to fuck off. Didn't they told James Brown in jail too? I think so. Yeah, they don't fuck around, man. When you, when you're a higher profile type person, you tell them to suck your dick. Fat Joe only did four months. Four months, right? Four months is four months. Right. There ain't no recording studios in fucking prison. I'll tell you that much. You're singing in that fucking shower. You're in their fucking freestyle in the shower. What is going on this week in the UFC? Dude, this is going on. This is the reason why you

made this call. We usually discuss an upcoming card, but as of like 2014, there's some weekend where they're having two cards, whether it's a night or back to back night, it's starting to happen. The sport's starting to blow up in that sense. Whether it's too much or not, we can discuss that in a bit, but this weekend is back to back night. Last weekend, it was two fight, two fight cards on the same day. This weekend, we got UFC 175, Chris Wideman, the guy you talked about earlier, the middleweight champion of the world. He takes on the Oda Machita, a great opponent, man, a great fight. One of the fights I've been looking forward to all year on that same card, Rhonda Rousey defends her belt against Alexis Davis. Chael Sonnen and Vandalay Silva were supposed to be on this

card, but they're not. It's still pretty good. You're by a favor on it. And a few other names, I don't recall them all right now at this minute. And then the next day, B.J. Penn fights Frankie Edgar for the third time. He's dropped with 145 pounds now to do this. They were the coaches for the Ultimate Fighter throughout the season that's been taking place. And they're on the Ultimate Fighter 19 finale. So you can have those two headlining that card and then a bunch of guys from the season that's kind of unfolded right now. There's two different divisions. They'll crown two different Ultimate Fighters. Back to back nights at Mandalay Bay. Never been done before. Back to back nights in the same city. It'll be interesting how that unfolds because

you only got a certain amount of dollars, you know, guys. I mean, I don't know what kind of specials are out there. I didn't really look. Luckily, as media, I get a credential, but you know, if you're putting out 400, 200, whatever a ticket, times, you know, your girlfriend, your brother, your mother, whatever you're treating, and then you got to do it the next night and put out another 100, 135. That can be tough. So I'm going to be interested to see how this works out. But aside from that, the UFC Fan Expo, all kinds of activities, pool parties, concerts, a 5K, you name it, the UFC's definitely done a great job to promote what's called International Fight Week. Now Dana White is running the 5K. He is. He is running the 5K and so are a lot of

big names. I know Chuck Liddell is running it. Mike Dolce is, he's running it, but he's the one running the whole, the whole program. I'm sure he'll actually run it, but he's the one that's kind of like spearheading that deal. You know, he, they want people to get fit. They want people to use UFC fits with him and the Misha Tate are kind of like the hosts, but a few fighters have signed up, a couple of world champions. I think I saw a DJ Dillshaw's name on there. Game of Alaska is his name. So the UFC's definitely brought out their big guns and they're going to participate. Wow. Can you walk in, George? No, you know what? I am going to go out there, but I'm not going to run it. And I'll tell you why, because I have a buddy who, me and somebodies have been kind of trying

to lose weight. So we've been pushing each other and he posted a horrific 3K time and I have a feeling that I, my time would be even more horrible than that. So I don't want to set myself for jokes, set myself up for any jokes. I think I'm just going to go out there and hand out water, you know, and maybe take some pictures or whatever. I don't think I want to get into that. I kind of do run on my own a bit, but you know, I walk when I'm tired and that's better. I'm probably going to stay away from that. Listen, I'm proud of you. 110. 110 right now and it's only seven in the morning. So the last thing they need to see is my fat ass out there. Let me tell you something, man. When you run those things, you're never a loser. I used to get killed in Boulder. I would

try to do the biathlon, the swim run, or the swim bicycle. I don't even remember my time, but my time was horrible. But let me tell you something, it was just going down and being a part of it. That was really cool. I can't run to that. For a minute there, I'm like, maybe I'll take the flight and just walk the fork. I would love to even walk. I was busting these balls about walking rhyming and they just shot my knee again. And for some reason, the outside of the knee feels good, but the side of it, the inside is still hurting like towards the end. So I don't really want to push it, but I would love to fucking do something like that. I know I definitely can't run it. There's no fucking way. I could definitely finish it. If I walk, I'll tell you that

much. Oh yeah, no, I don't have a problem with that. My time is going to be on the digital clock there and my other buddies. My other buddies weren't going and I'd probably do it, but now that they're in on it, I just know that I'm setting myself up for some ball busting. So I think I'll just play that media role, hand out waters, maybe ask a few questions. And then I got to hustle back and do MMA Junkie Radio. We're starting a little bit late on that day, but at least it will allow me to go out to this event. You know, Mike Dolce in his book has a great running program in there for the treadmill, you know, and I was doing it for a while. And I'll tell you what I found out that, and I saw it the other

day for the first time. I'm 51 and I never saw this. The other day I was in a political machine. How do you say? Elliptical machine. And I saw a 300 pound guy running from behind and I saw how much damage it is in comparison to helping you. Like it's just too much weight. I saw this guy from the back how he would just run a little, like he was running a moderate speed. I mean, he had great cardio. He probably ran for 15 minutes, but even on the treadmill, I could see where the damage, I could see it from behind how heavy, how much pounding it is on your joints. And now I know when I was doing that Dolce run, why my knees hurt that much. I didn't give a fuck though. You know, I'll take two of leaves

of two Advils and I'll be fine. But then you have to sit there and go, I'm 51. I'm not playing professional sports. Why am I walking around sore? You know, that's the other end of it. Well, I guess, you know, obviously, aside from the health reasons, you have the incentive of, you know, now you have your baby daughter and, you know, maybe dropping 20 pounds will pack on the next 10 years. So I don't know. I'm not trying to preach anything. Oh, no, no, you're absolutely fucking right. I've been, this is what I've been thinking about the last three weeks, you know, especially when it comes to jiu-jitsu that when I'm in there and even though I'm trying and I'm rolling, every time I get flipped over and I land on a wrist or an elbow, I'm putting

300 fucking 10 pounds of weight on something, you know, I'm doing this now, acknowledging this. I've never acknowledged this before. How bad it is to be that big. I'm sure it's great for some people, you know, my cartilage just disappeared. I just got another shot in the knee. It'll be two weeks last, uh, two Thursdays ago. So it would just be great to be involved in the 3k walk or something, you know, in Vegas and see Dana, but I'll attend degrees that just put a fucking kibosh on that shit. Fuck you. That kills fat guys right there. Yeah, especially when I have to do the show just a few hours later, I just, I don't know. I think I'll be good enough being there to support, you know what I'll do is I'll give myself a shape and maybe I'll do another 5k down the road, but

this one I'm going to skip. It's really weird how I really, the last couple of months I've been really working on my cardio, or at least I've been trying, you know, I know I sound a little better on the podcast. I don't hate myself breathing anymore. And I'm not running, you know, I'm jolting my system with the kettle bells. I'll try to do light kettle bells over 15 reps, you know, and, and I'll try to do the epileptical, you know, but I'll tell you what, man, it doesn't matter until I drop this weight. Once I drop this weight, my cardio be that much better. I know that if I go from 300 to 265, my cardio, I'm still not going to run, you know, I'll still be in fact, country's fucking league, right? How big is big country? 265, right? 264. The last time you waited

in around 250 something. Yeah, 255. 253, 255. It's weird because I'll see him at these media functions or I'll see him around Vegas. And I was kidding myself and go, shit, he looks like he's 238, 240. It looks like he may have shed those 10, 15 pounds that we've always wanted him to do, you know, to just kind of look a little better and maybe last a little, you know, not gas as much. And then you know, step on that dance scale and he's always 260. The last time we did go down to 250 against Bulgaria, you look good, man. You look really good. He hasn't needed the cardio as much because he's been starting there. He's, he's a freaking freaking nature to watch him. Because I know sometimes when I do, man, after two minutes of jiu-jitsu and I'm huffing and puffing, I ain't

going to lie to nobody and have little tricks you got on your shoulder and sits or your lungs could breathe. But besides that, so how's the stress going? How's the anxiety going? Pretty good, man. Knock on wood. I've been good guys. I, I think a lot what helps is, is some of the exercise I do. I mean, every day I get up or walk, two dogs I have. So that's a couple miles. And if I'm doing good on time, then I'll wash off their paws and then I'll go run a little bit more just so I can get my heart pumping and sweat. But I'm telling you, man, just a little bit of sweat every day. Definitely, I think just helps burn, you know, some of those frustrations, some of that stress and being more organized. I walk around with this notebook and I use the notes feature. And then,

excuse me, the notes app on my laptop, which, you know, communicates with my phone. And when I'm on top of stuff, things are fine. Nothing bugs me. But if I put myself in a, in a pickle or something, you know, and, and I start thinking too much, I think that's when sometimes it sets in. Sometimes any caffeine triggers it a lot as well. And sometimes I push it a little hard on the coffee. And another thing I've noticed is if I don't rest a lot, then, you know, sometimes you just, what happens to your body, I think weakens and you're more susceptible to all this, all this stuff. Let me talk to you about some other tickets selling for this weekend's UFC. I mean, have you heard me? You know, I don't know, but I heard they did. I heard they weren't going

to give out as many comps. They're asking, you know, people that normally get hooked up around town, they're pretty much not. I mean, it's a good seller. You know, see what you will about the rest of the card, because it's not the sexiest part of the world, but you have to title fight on the, on the, on the card. Rousey's a big seller and Leidman's obviously been involved in some big cards last year. And I think people love that kid. Machita's earned his shot. So nobody's been gifted here. He deserves to be in there. If you're just kind of going to watch that, then you're, you know, I think you're already getting your money's worth, but you know, obviously the UFC stacks it with some talent and, and the undercard will be fine as well. Then you got the UFC fan

expo, but the fan expo, I don't know. I think it will sell out though. I think the fan expo for nobody who's, for anybody who hasn't been, and you're even a slight fan. That's like what you guys were talking about. If you're in another country and you go to a soccer game, you'll really see what it's about. If you're not doing anything, I'll tell you what, the fan expo is really a lot of fun. It really, and I guarantee it's grown since I went, because I think I went three years ago, two years ago. I walked around the one day and it was really interesting, you know, to get the Q&A but now you can work out with them. You know, you can work out with Daniel Cormier. Is he still one of the guys you can work out with? I'm pretty sure he'll, I know he's going to be there,

teaching a self defense class at the Boys and Girls Club like early this week. So I know he's here for the week, but you're right, Joey. You can, I know one time BJ Penn had a seminar, so, you know, you can grapple and strike and learn from some of the best. Definitely rub elbows with a lot of them and even if you're, you know, the expo can be sometimes tight and these onions can be time consuming. Some people have that patience, some don't, but I'm telling you, you run into these guys all over the place and they're all, think about it, two guys, two fight cards, back to back nights, all those fighters are at Manila Bay. Then you got all the guys from the, that are at the expo. They're all staying at Manila Bay. So my, you know, if you're a fan,

come down to Manila Bay this weekend. I guarantee you're going to be running into a lot of people and you head on down to that expo and get there early. If you get there early, I think you can get past some of those queues that go very long and I think you'll have a good time. What's the expo ticket go for around? I want to say like 35, 50, depending on your area or if you get it at the door. That's not fucking bad, man. That's not bad. And let me tell you something. There's a bunch of giveaways in there. Energy drinks are in there and t-shirt companies. So it is pretty, I'm telling you, you know what? When I was a kid, I used to go to comic book conventions. That was my shit.

You're looking at me, Lee, and I'm telling you right now, I used to go to comic book conventions and I have a fucking great time. And it's the same thing. It's just a three day and especially this week because you had the Sunday. So is it going to be Sunday too? Friday, Saturday? Yeah. So they changed it. It used to be Friday and Saturday. Right. But this year they're doing it Saturday and Sunday. So Saturday and Sunday on both days, it starts like at nine or 10. And it goes till about five or six. If you're going to the fight cards on either day and you don't want to miss a fight, then you may have to feel out of there

a couple hours early. But it's all within the same hotel, which is very, very convenient. And or you can get there, you know, miss a fight or two, but taking the whole expo. I think if you're pretty good at, you know, walking around and not picking up every piece of gear and equipment and asking prices, I mean, you should be able to hustle to that, you know, two to four hours, depending on how many lines you get into to get autographs and meat fighters. But, you know, if you're just a casual observer, you can get through it pretty quick and still have time to take in the fights, you know, because for a lot of people, that's the priority of the fight. Now, Saturday night, I got home, you know, we and I got really stoned. We made me the gummy bear

and whatever the fuck he usually has in his pocket. And I didn't really, you know, when I get home at nights and times I look at Yahoo and I look at what's going on. And sometimes I just go to bed, sometimes I read it, sometimes I just digest it, whatever. And I go watch TV. I read something Saturday night and I read it very, and then at the time when I read it, it was very like, what did I expect type deal? And it was that trail son had failed another drug test, an additional drug test. Now, he was originally supposed to be slated for the July 4th card with Vidor or Vandalay. And then Vandalay got scratched. Then it was Vidor. And then he came up positive for the first drug test. Then I got up yesterday morning, you know,

in my life, we were going to go to the beach and whatever. When we got back, I went online and I read the article that MMA Junkie had released about the second drug test and what's been going on with Fox and people. What, you know, break it down for me. I understand the one drug test, but when was the second one taken that they're talking about? All right. So the way it worked was he, as he was preparing for this fight, he was tested twice. And the one that came out about three weeks ago, the one that led to his retirement, he was tested. I don't remember the names of the PDs that he tested for, but the names that you commonly hear in other sports. And the excuse he used was that those were helping him

adjust to his body, getting off TRT. And though there might be some truth to that, the problem is those two steroids are on the ban list for water, the world anti-doping agency. So he basically should have known better, you know, even though what he was saying, I guess, was partly true, it doesn't matter. It'd be like saying, well, I took cocaine because cocaine is proven to help me get off, you know, something else that's illegal. Therefore, you guys should be okay with it. But we, somebody would sit back and say, but cocaine's illegal too, you know, and so it, it, um, Jail's got the gift of gab and amazingly enough, I don't, you know, the 100% of people that probably should have said, uh-uh, that that doesn't fly,

at least 50% said, well, you know, Jail's good a point. And then the 50 that are, you know, out there that are very educated just aren't, aren't trying to hear it. I mean, an athlete cheated is what it boiled down to. And this is an athlete that was pointing fingers at his opponent, said others. And so if you look at that, I mean, that doesn't sit well with anybody either, you know, he's kind of a bit of a hypocrite there. So now let's fast forward to last, well, like you said, last Saturday, the news broke that he failed, um, for HGH and EPO and, and on that one, again, I think he gave a statement similar to the first one, um, something brief. And it, you know, it really doesn't matter because once again, now this guy

was basically testing positive for, you know, a lot of different performance enhancing drugs that just aren't allowed, aren't accepted. And yet the reasoning and, you know, because what you want from the athlete is you want him, you know, some culpability, you know, some responsibility, he doesn't really offer that. And I think this one's going to be very, very damaging for him because, you know, it's again, with him pointing fingers and, uh, he's definitely got his fair share of detractors as well. But even the people that support him, I just don't know how they can accept anything he's got to say at this point. He, uh, definitely was trying to find an edge. And, and the thing is guys, how far, how long has he been doing this? I mean, with that carefree

attitude, how far back in one point to it? Well, what I can remember is when he was going to fight Anderson Silva for the first time in 2010, and I think it was when they were asking for the sample or when he was filling out paperwork, that's when he came clean and made up some story that Keith Kaiser, the former net Nevada state athletic commissioner in Las Vegas had given him permission. That wasn't true. You know, so that's him just spot out lying, hoping he doesn't get caught. And Keith Kaiser obviously testified that that was not the case. And, um, so if you go back to that timeline, it sounded like he had, that he had received permission for the two fights prior to that, which kind of put him in the position to fight Anderson Silva. So my point is, you know,

his career is going to be tainted, man, because he put himself in a position to fight for a world title couple times by fighting guys with an advantage. At least one has to assume that if you kind of put all the pieces of the puzzle together and that's going to be damaging for his career, I'm not taking anything away from his ability to hide from the fight is the work that he does on Fox sports. But as an athlete, I really feel like he, uh, he's been a little bit of a fraud. And, you know, the other athletes are starting to come out and they're starting to get pissed. Like former, um, you know, former opponents of his, you know, they have to start to wonder, wow, you know, could this guy have had the edge when he fought me? That's definitely not cool.

But whatever, um, what's going to happen now, we don't know. In the article you read, Joe, he talked about how he retired and yes, he'll have to stay from the Vasley athletic commission, but whatever they throw his way, it's not going to matter. He's not competing anymore. And what Ben folks, one of our writers was talking about was, you know, maybe this should go a little bit further. If the UFC wants to take a stance on, on theaters, you know, they got to send the message that this won't be tolerated in any way and Fox and the UFC are partners. So they do out, maybe they probably do have a little bit of influence, you know, and maybe they may ask, um, or maybe Fox on their own may ask, show the step down from that post. It's not uncommon. We've seen, I believe,

Antonio Tarver, the boxer, he had tested positive, uh, had a positive test a while back and I think I remember hearing that, you know, HBO was not going to use him. Not enough. That was for a certain amount of time. I'll say parted ways altogether. So again, you know, what, what the UFC's reaction is going to be to this, we don't know. And I think that's something that we'll wait and see this week. Uh, if, if they don't do much about it, I don't think it's going to sit well with a lot of people because, you know, now we're talking about the levels of like what Lance Armstrong did in my opinion, you know, to cheat over a period of time, continuously lie about it. And, and the fact is that yielded him some results, some really top notch wins. Uh, he's got a lot of, he's got a lot

to face, uh, when he faces the Nevada State Athletic Commission, I'm interested to see what he, what he has to say about all this. I think it's, you know, maybe there could be a possible investigation. Who knows? You know, bro, he's got a lot to face when he faces himself. That's the bottom line with this. He's got a lot to face when he faces himself. And like I told you yesterday on the phone, you know, I, I've never really met him or hung out with him, you know, when I've seen him and been around him, he's been very pleasant. And, uh, again, he chucks and jives, you know, which I was the master of. So I understand. I'm not here to lay judgment on somebody who made a mistake because I made tons of mistakes. I went to prison, but I paid my dues and I copped to it, you know.

And when I first found out that he tested positive, I giggled like everybody else in, in America, you know, you giggled a little bit. But in my world, it was, what did you expect from this fucking guy? The thing that gets me burnt up more than anything. And I love Dana and he's, I've been his guest many times at the shows is that he's this guy's fucking biggest backer. And, you know, we were, everybody wants to see what the fuck Dana is going to do now. You know, for years, people have been asking, does this guy have photographs of Dana naked, you know, getting whipped by Ariani? What does he have on him? You know, because every time everything falls in his favor and everything's a fucking giggle and a smile. If this was Anderson

Silva, that had tested positive twice and done all this shit. You know, you wouldn't see him on the fucking Fox show or you wouldn't see him. And again, I'm not going into anything else that people usually go into. I'm just telling you how the fuck it is from what I've seen. Chell gets and does what he wants. You know, 20 minutes after it was announced, Dana went on ESPN and he was giggling about a kind of, you know, for fertility, you know, everything's for something. It's going back to what I talk about here. Your life doesn't move ahead until you claim responsibility. If he really got on TV that second time and said, all of a sudden fertility and what are you fucking talking about? Joey Diaz, a 51 year old guy,

he did blow for 27 years. He smokes pot eats, edibles every day. And some way sperm came out of there and God have fucking pregnant. What are you fucking talking about? You don't drink, you don't do nothing. You're a world class fucking athlete. Your sperm don't fucking work. You know, just tell the world that you fucked up and you'll never insult him again and you're quitting. But don't, he made it seem like he was quitting because they were unfair to him. It's fucking amazing. And it's fucking amazing how the rest of you fucking assholes react to this shit. I'm not mad at Chale. I don't give a fuck at the UFC fires. I don't give a fuck if he ever fights again, because I still got to get up in the morning, every fucking morning and go to work

and put up with the fucking trial. I'm not one of those guys that you're going to catch a week from now. You know, in February, I'm at a show in Boston. I swear to God, George. And some guy comes up to me at the point. He's like, Hey, man, I got to talk to you about something. You've had Herb Dean on your podcast a couple of times. You know, what do you think about him with the early stoppage? I'm like, it's Friday night. And there's bitches with fake tits wanting to get their pussy sucked. And you're talking about Herb fucking Dean, you fucking idiot, you fucking retard. So I'm not one of those guys that's going to sit here and say, what's the state of Chale's son? And then we're going to talk about a fake fucking who gives a fuck? Life goes on. I got to go fucking work out

and deal with my daughter. It's just amazing what we tolerate with and what we believe as Americans anymore. He made it seem like the state commission was wrong for not letting him take that shit. And now he tests positive again. I'm happy this chapter is over with. And I'm happy that they got to see him for what he was. And he's still a great guy. And I'm sure, you know, when you hang out with him, he's a hard worker. And the guy works hard. You know, what's crazy, George, that the guy has fucking talent. Yeah, he has fucking talent. You're right. I guess that's that's what that's what burns me the most saying that he was an out of competition athlete. And he wasn't an out of

competition athlete, but yet he says these things. And I don't know if it's because he believes in himself or everything. Well, you know, by talking off, people will believe it, but it's not being genuine. It's just ingenious, you know, and he's got family. I think he should realize that a lot of people have supported him, you know, and they deserve to know the truth. And he avoided the truth when he had a chance to come clean. And now the second test has come out and it sounds like by that early statement, that he's not too interested in facing the music there either. So you know, I don't know what we'll see. I guess I got to give him his chance to see if what kind of interviews he puts out and let's see how the UFC reacts to it. But

once again, the UFC constantly has said, Hey, we're not just the next four, you know, we're not roller derby or, you know, super motocross or anything like that. I mean, we're a sport that wants to compete with the NFL, the NBA, the major league baseball, you know, and a lot of those sports, they're not tolerating shit like that, guys. So we'll see what kind of a statement they make. And it's going to be tough because it's one of their big stars. You know, recently, they had enough, they had an athlete who pushed the referee and that that athlete immediately got fired. Now I'm not saying pushing a referee's fair, but the statement that was made was we just don't tolerate that. And it'll be interesting to see if that's something, you know, if it's

John Jones pushed the referee would be part ways with him or not. I'm not so sure they would. So I think it can be a big spotlight on the UFC on Dana White and on Joe Son, and we'll see how they react. How fucking great would that be to see John Jones smack the shit out of Mario Yamasaki when they just pick him up to the head. Dana be jumping up and down the Fratini brothers will be jumping up and down. Everybody be fucking happy. But that's it, man. That's the world. And it's a big fucking summer. I mean, there's how many more? You got this weekend. And what else do you have the rest of the time? And you got some fucking fights this summer. You got Ozealdo, Chad Mendes, you've got Masasi and August second. Then all the saucy and jocquery. That's a good

one. Oh, my God. Aldo or Mendes. That's that staple center in LA. Oh, my God. Coming to San Jose with Robbie Lawler versus Matt Brown. That's going to be pretty crazy. They're going to Bangor Maine. So they're there. I think that's the first time they've been there. They just got back from Albuquerque. They just got back from San Antonio. So what they're doing is they're throwing on a lot of fucking shows. They're grabbing two great athletes, maybe four and saying your headlining, your combi eventing, and then the rest is, you know, lesser talent to step down. You know, but what happens is they're going into more markets and not just in the United States, but worldwide markets that are thirsting for it. So if they can pull in a good gate

and get decent numbers on Fox, then they're considering it a win. The only problem is, is that hardcore audience that's wishing the pay-per-view that they pay for and the fight cards that they go to would be a little bit more stacked, you know, and it's kind of, you know, some of the cards are a little bit watered down. And the fact is, MMA fans are a little spoiled, but you know who spoiled us was the UFC. So now when they pull back a little, it sucks. And the fans are vocal and they bitch. And sometimes I agree with them. Sometimes I want to tell them to shut the fuck up, you know? I mean, after all, if you are an MMA fan and you don't have nothing to do, you're not banging chicks, you're just sitting at home. Well, you know what? There's

some free fights on. And that's something we didn't have a few years ago either. So there's pluses and minuses on both sides of the argument. I personally, I would, I really enjoy when I was growing up and they told me, Hagler's finding Leonard, are you having it at your house? And I'd say, yeah, man, come on over. We'd order pizzas and beers and fucking 50 people would be in my house. Or I'd go to my buddy's house. That buildup, that anticipation was huge, you know? But now, with all these events being shoved down my throat, sometimes I don't have that. Sometimes I do. But sometimes I'm like, eh, and if I miss it, I don't feel like I miss much. Why? Because the next one's upon us. And I get jacked for that one. So I don't know what their strategy's going

to be. You know, I don't know how they treat this. And, you know, maybe they, they're okay with pissing a hardcore fan off like me from time to time, but maybe they're gaining too that I don't know of a new deal. And we'll know what happens back to, you know, at these Zoufa offices. They do have some smart people. I will give them credit. They have grown the sport, but at the same time, you know, it, it, there's got to be a little bit of a backlash on this too. Now who's fighting on the August 29th card? They haven't even put that one together. That's happening in Vegas on Labor Day weekend. It was supposed to be Jones and Gunsperson, but that got pushed back about a month. So as of right now,

I don't think that has a main event. And if you think about it, that's less than two months now. That's two months away today, I think. So, you know, people, some people like to make plans, especially on Labor Day weekend. And, you know, I think an announcement should, should come soon. Now, maybe they have to wait for this weekend. Maybe they can do something with the people that fight on this card. But, but, you know, that, that card hasn't come together yet. We haven't heard one people now. So the winner of Robbie Lawler, Matt Brown, Matt Brown gets Johnny Hendricks. Now Johnny Hendricks is hurt. He's recovering. When is his ETA? He said he'd be ready to go by the fall. We just had him on the show about

two weeks ago and said he'd be ready to go by. He was, he was given the notice to start training and he said he could train, you know, not just run on the treadmill, but he could actually start grappling and, and, you know, start training for a fight. So once he got cleared for all that, I think he, you know, they could circle a date and do something with the winner of Brown and Lawler. For Lawler, this could be possibly, you know, four fights in a, in one year, which is rare. And if Matt Brown wins, you know, that'll work too, but it sounds like go pencil him in somewhere around October or November. Now, what's the state of Anderson Silva and Nick Diaz? You know, it sounds like it could happen because both guys could share a decent payday.

For Anderson Silva, I see it, I think he sees it more as a tuna. All right. He eventually wants to get another shot at Wydenham. The same way DJ Penn wants a piece of Frankie Edgar for the third time. Anderson Silva, trust me, wants a piece of Chris Wydenham for the third time. So whatever they throw in front of him, as long as it's someone that he thinks he can beat, then he'll take it. You know, for Nick Diaz, it'll get him paid and he'll buy a loose. Honestly, I mean, Anderson's just too big, too fast for Nick Diaz. I don't think Diaz can get that fight to the ground. And if he does, Anderson's actually shown himself that he can hang down there. You know, he's not going to submit you, but he sure is. That was going to make it tough for

you to submit him. But, you know, the fans would get a fight and you honestly would get both of them off their asses. Anderson's there, you know, because of injury, but Diaz is just there because he's playing, you know, a certain card in his negotiations wrong in my opinion, but it would get him off his ass and get him fighting. And that would be a good thing. Hopefully, you know, he'd start fighting guys in his way class again. But I think it's a possibility, but I've just heard too many of these crazy fights, you know, that get talked about and then eventually they don't happen. And Nate, what's his future with the UFC? Is he still around? Is he just doing seminars? He's signed an eight fight contract about, I want to say 18 months ago prior to fighting

Benson Henderson, if I'm not mistaken. So he's had three fights, that one, Josh Thompson and Gray Manor. This isn't the time to go in and say, I want to get paid more because usually he just signed an eight fight contract that he was happy, had those big fights. The problem is his homeboy, Gilbert Melendez, he had that free agency run where he got courted by Bellator. Bellator put in a nice fight contract in front of him. And the UFC had to match because he's a, he's a big spar. He has got a name, the former champion of strike force, top 10 guy for years. He's on ESPN, good looking Latino kids and looking to break into Mexico. And I think the UFC thought, well, you know what, we're going to lose one of these from time to time. And this guy got it. And that, that got

on the coaching stint. They got him pay per view, you know, pay per view numbers. I mean, he got an incredible contract. There's a lot of pay per view numbers, you know, those cuts that they get, they only get them after you sell 250,000 pay per views or 500,000 pay per views. And he got, he got a contract. Well, I believe every fight, every fight quality is on as a pay per view. And the pay per view cuts that he gets are, they get triggered a lot sooner than what other fighters get. He really, really did his homework. And he used the free agency period that he had to the best of his ability. So we're trickles like that to the other guys, you know, Nate Diaz runs with three other guys, his brother, Jake Shields and Gilmore Melendez. And all those guys have had

big fights and big contracts. And I think he looked back and said, man, I got fucked up. How do I get some of this loose? I know I'll hold out. I'm a big name. They need me. They need superstars, the headline. And, you know, but the bottom line is it looks like that hasn't worked because the UFC is still throwing their show. And they're, you know, they're offering him the operatum Habid from the Doma Dev and they offered him a few other guys. He's turned them down, but he's just sitting on the sidelines level. The UFC is growing, throwing shows. And, and I think eventually he's going to have to say, all right, you got me, you know, who do I have to fight? Maybe after the fifth or sixth fight in this contract, he can go in there and really,

really, you know, man, the big one, man, the one that can change his life. But I think right now he's in tough spot. And what's the status of GSP at this point? Is he done? He tore his knee in March after the anterior Christian ligament. So it was on the other knee from the opposite knee of the one that he heard a few years ago. He's been through it. He knows it's about a nine month rehab, which means between March and the end of December, that's his focus. He already had the surgery. He's already rehabbing, but now he's got to get it strong enough so that he can start training if he ever wants to come back and fight again. But I believe that that, that that time off, you know, and, and the fact that everything he sets his mind to, you know, he does

to the tenth degree, I think that'll make him hungry to fight mixed martial arts. And, you know, the whole thing with the welterweight division on fold, because it's a bunch of killers in there, man, with McDonald and Lombard and Dong Hyun Kim and the other guys we mentioned, Brown and Lawler. So that's an exciting division that's going to play out, you know, really, really good these next 12 to 18 months. And I could see GSP coming back, maybe in the summer of 2050. So Lombard's hurt, correct? Yeah, he was supposed to fight Dong Hyun Kim and Macau at the end of August. Same card as Michael Bisping and Kung Lee, but he got hurt. And you know what? I didn't read what the injury was, but I didn't sound like one of those like,

like what I just described with GSP. I think you'll be able to look his words and come back, maybe on a future card later this year. So instead of Tyron Woodley, who laid an egg against Roy McDonald recently, he wants to erase that and get back in the mix, but he's jumping in against Dong Hyun Kim. And we'll see if maybe that, you know, gets them in the conversation again. I, you know, he's not contending anything for a title for the next year or so, because now he needs another two, three wins to erase the loss with McDonald. That's amazing. I love having you on, because you simplify everything for me. I don't have the time anymore to really follow it like I used to. You know, I have so many fucking things on my plate, but sometimes I read the MMA junkie

articles. I do for the most part. That's the only stuff I read. And you simplify a lot of things for me when we talk, you know, in our conversations. And when you call into the podcast, so I'm happy you took the time in today. I know you're fucking. Yeah, man, anytime you guys need me, I love it. It's a quality show. I go in there and check out some of the previous episodes. And I know you guys definitely made a stamp, man. You guys are ranked high up there on iTunes. And you guys have been really, really kicking some ass. It's a pleasure and honor to be on the show. No, we're trying. And like I said, when it comes to MMA, you're the fucking man, because I get confused. I get confused and then people hit me with fucking questions. And I don't know what to

say to them. You know, people hit me with stupid fucking MMA questions. I'm like, I don't even know what the fuck's going on. I didn't even know about that. I can't even catch up anymore. There's so many fights. Bangor, Maine, San Antonio, I was confused on Saturday. I thought Latuna and Mark while we're fighting, they were the fucking card with. So that's why the two card weekends fucked me up completely. Because I don't know what's going on. The same night one was in New Zealand, Mark Martin, and then we had Cub Swanson versus Jeremy Stevens. I was good. If you can find you can get your hands on that one. I watched it again last night. I watched it again last night. Cub Swanson looked fucking tremendous. I mean, I watched that part when they're like one more

round. He's like, I got one more round left. He thought it was like the fucking second round, that kid. No. And Jeremy Stevens ain't no fucking joke. That was a good little fight. That was a really, really good little exciting fight. There was man troubles playing with fire a little bit there. He took a few of them right hands and he got knocked down. He got right back up, smiled at him and said, Hey, I'm not stopping. And he put on a show. That's for sure. I got to tell you something though. And I will end with this. I got to tell you something that I just, I think at 145, Jose Aldo was so ahead of the game. And I'm not saying nothing bad about Cub Swanson. I'm just saying when I watch Jose Aldo, he makes it look like everybody could do it.

Yeah. That's what Jose, like Anderson Silva was one thing, GSP was one thing. I look at Jose Aldo and it scares the shit out of me sometimes because he makes it look so simple, you know, and those light kicks are just fucking beautiful. You know, talking about another soccer fucking guy with some fucking soccer kicks coming at you. I just, you know, I'm not going to fight in LA. I never go to the LA cards because it's too much of a pain he has. But I'll definitely be watching, you know, especially, uh, Jacare Massasi. And I don't know when I'm going to see you. I will definitely be in Vegas, July 18th. You know, so I'll definitely see you for that.

I haven't made junkie. I'll be in the studio. So hopefully I come down and fuck around with you fucking sandwiches. How about that? That'd be great, man. Let us know. And hopefully you change your mind about Staple Center because Mendez and Aldo is going to be a great fight, Massasi and Jacare is going to be a great fight. And there's a lot of MMA junkie radio listeners in the LA area that I would love to see you guys. We're doing a show that Friday night. I'm doing a show that Friday at Rogan's. No, no, if, if anything, yeah, yeah, I'll do something, but I just hate going to those because I got to bring my wife and we got to get a baby sitting there fucking paying the ass. Not because I got to bring my wife, just because I got to get a baby

to this. So I just watch them at home and get a fucking, get a shrimp cocktail or some shit, but I love you. And I'm happy. All right, brother. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. A lot of fun. And folks doing in the MMA junkie throughout the week. We got you covered for this big international fight week. This weekend, two cars back to back. Find yourself in Vegas. Give us a holler. We're at sportsbook at Mandalay Bay. We'd love to meet you. And where can they follow you at George? Um, uh, my Twitter is at MMA junkie George. So that's my Twitter handle. I have a Facebook and an Instagram. Those aren't hard to find. I would link up to three anyway. You know, you take a picture and one shoot to all of them. So thank you for allowing me to do that. And our

show is nine to 11 a.m. Monday through Friday. Uh, you can find us at MMA junkie dot com forward slash radio. And we have some big announcements coming up soon as well. So tune in. There'll be definitely more ways for you all to listen to our show. Thanks guys for allowing me to do that. Thank you. We have a lot of MMA fans. I love you, George. We'll talk during the week. Love you too, buddy. All right, buddy. All right. See you, Lee. All right. Bye. Yeah, I was really disturbed by the chao son thing Saturday night. And then yesterday when I read that, and that's what I was getting at people. Uh, you know, and I hate to say this, I know people are going to take it wrong. A couple of years ago, chao got in trouble and he turned states evidence. And right

there, I knew, like you hate to judge somebody. You know, the biggest thing your parents teach you when you're growing up is never to judge, you know, as you become friends with somebody, they do different things and you either could be their friend forever or you could not be their friends. When I was out there robbing and doing criminal shit, if Lee was my buddy and we're robbing together and Lee was cheating on his girlfriend or his wife, I would stop hanging out with Lee because I knew if you got arrested, Lee, you would wrap me up. Yeah, that makes sense. You know, there was little things that I would look at people and go, I can't do that with that person because I know that this happens. He's going to fucking do this. There's just little things that

people do. When somebody turns states evidence like chao, it's never fucking good. I love chao and I love what he does with a sport. I love how hard he fights and everything, but these little fucking things, that first thing when he was talking about his wife and getting her pregnant and his family, and it made, I mean, he's so good at what he does, it made it seem like they were being hard on him. No, rules are rules, man. And once you fucking break those little simple rules, there ain't no fucking coming back. And that's what we talk about here on the church, you know, is just fucking on your shit. You fuck up, you fuck up, man. I fuck up every fucking day. Every day I got to go in there and look at my wife and go, you were right about that thing. And sugar,

I told you, you ever do that to your wife? You would do that with Paula? She was right about something. That and then the worst one for me is my parents. Yeah, it's the worst, especially, especially because you don't want your parents to be right. And when they, whenever they are, like to this day, I'll call my mom and be like, I'm sorry. Yeah, it's, it's, it's rough. And if you came clean from the beginning and go, you don't want, I do have a fucking problem with that, man. You're fucking right. People get angry. I used to always get angry when I was young. But then three days later, you're fucking, you go, you know what, man? I was angry because I was an asshole. The guy loves me and he was showing me love and all he was trying to do was fucking,

you know, and that's, that's something that's huge. And I wish chair would just do that. You know, quit the sport you've done to, you know, and he was making fun of Van Delay silver. I watched that episode of UFC tonight. I watched that shit. I love all those shows, but I'm sitting there watching on my air. Van Delay ran away and then three days later, you come up and test fucking positive. Something's not right guy. So that's what the moral of the story is. Let me give some shout outs today. We got a fucking great show today. We got Ray Kara, Ray, happy birthday. Kara loves you. Cox sucker, Nick Harvey, 27, Joshua Michalski, whatever your fucking name is, Gilly Saibon, Silly Saibon, whatever your fucking name is trying

to be cute with mushrooms, Ted Kabat, Dead Squad Nashville and the rest of the Dead Squad family and Scottish Connor. I love you. Cox sucker. What's up with you? Quiet over there staring into space. You're not even fucking high today. No, no, I was ready for gummy back. Cox suck. Sure. Don't be bullshitting me. I'll stab you in the fucking lung. That's a nice shirt, Lee. I like that better than the stop sign look. That's a green with the yellow. That means go, but hesitate a little bit. That's what that fucking shirt means, Cox sucker. I'm just gonna play this because it's Monday. Thank you, brother, for reminding me. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Get your shit together and we're running late. Who gives a fuck? It's

Monday. It's a holiday week. I've been on a banana kick. I've had a banana every day for like two weeks. I had one today before I came here. I looked at a banana this morning and I'm gonna have the protease shake. I'll eat the banana later with the fucking whole whip. I put it on Twitter as a joke, but it was truly happened. I hadn't bought a banana in so long that I just, because whenever you get a restaurant, it's ripe. I forgot to check if it was ripe, and I bit into like a not ripe banana and it tasted like tick. It tasted like grass. What is this green? Oh, I like those. Oh, I can do it. I don't like them. They're green green.

Well, it wasn't totally good, but there was like a too much green still. Yeah, I don't like that yellow. I don't like black spots. Oh, no, black spots. Yeah, I find, yeah, but it was too green. That loves. It's a beautiful day to be alive. People get your shit together, wake up, salute the flag. It's 4th of July week. Somebody died during this week. I suck at it. There's somebody with a bayonet in their fucking neck right now laying there, and they died for you. Let's see. What's the story? You're sitting there all fucking depressed, cock-sucking. No, I've never been happy. I don't know. When is your anniversary?

Next week, next Sunday. And what are you doing with? Oh, no, two weeks from Sunday. We're going to Newport Beach. We were trying to figure something out. Like we're going to go, I didn't even know you were going to be in San Jose, and we're like, maybe we'll go to San Francisco. We're going to do that. It's not this Sunday, the 13th. Right, right. Are you going away Saturday night? Yeah, we're going to spend money on a plane, and we don't like, we like doing simple things. She likes Thai food a lot. So we were going back and forth, and I just put into the computer, best Thai food in Southern California at some place in Newport Beach. Got a decent nothing. We did, I like doing those deals where you don't

know what hotel you're staying in until you book. So we got a pretty good hotel for a good rate, and turn it down there and have fun for a couple nights. So you leave it on Saturday? Yeah, or Friday. And what's the Thai plate? I never understood that Mexicans like Thai food. Oh, she loves it. She's like a really spicy Thai food. And what does she get? Drunk noodles. That's her thing. What's drunk noodles? Just spicy noodles with beef and vegetables. What's wrong with that? No, no, no, no, I don't think so. No, just spicy noodles. Coconut milk. Maybe, I'm not sure. I don't know how to make it. What is wrong with Mexican people nowadays eating this shit? Between Paula with that,

Felipe being a vegetarian? Oh, the vegan would be hard, yeah. But no, I mean, it's spicy. But it's funny, because I'm picking up a little bit of Spanish, and every time she talks to her mom about it, she just calls it China. And I'm like, it's not Chinese. It's Thai. She's like, she doesn't understand that. She doesn't understand. You can just break it down into Chino food. They don't give a fuck. On it, let me tell you something. Like I said, last week I was on the Rogan podcast, and he really talked to me about, we spoke about on it. On it is not a mineral. On it products are not vitamins. On it, on it products, optimization, they make you better. They make you fucking better. Okay. Sadly, I did not want to work out.

I did not want to work out at all. I did the apolliptic on Friday. I hit the bag. I was fucking tired. I was sore. But I know that soreness means that your body just needs blood to that area. Sometimes you wake up and you're not really sore. You're tight. Yeah. That means you just stretch lightly. You don't want to tear the muscle and just jump up and down a little bit and just move a little bit and you'll see that you don't get sore. A lot of times my knee will be tight and I'll just do the bicycle for 20 minutes and also they won't be tight no more. But people confuse that shit. They go, I'm sore. I can't work out. I'm hurt. Fuck that shit. Give that area blood. You got to give that fucking area blood. And that's what fucking on it. I took

two of those shroom tacks and I took a little baby pill on Saturday. I don't know why a baby aspirin, you know, I either take them both or just one. You know what I'm saying? Shroom tech sport. So I either take the baby aspirin, but if I go to jiu-jitsu, I get really scared. So I'll take the shroom tech sport. For some reason, Saturday, I did what I had to do and I took the shroom tech sport and two baby aspens and I waited an hour. Oh my god, Lee. Oh my god. And I got to tell you something, Lee, and I wouldn't lie to you. I thought I was going to have a fucking heart attack because my wrist was hurt. So I wasn't doing any cleans. So I added cleans back the last two fucking weeks of the last week and a half. I've added cleans back. Lee, I did more on fucking

Saturday with kettlebells than I did the last month because I usually just take the baby aspirin because they say if you do high reps of kettlebells, it's an assault on your fucking cardio system. Yeah, you were telling me. It's not even that many reps. It's just that many reps. But here's the thing, that swimming burns the most calories, but they say the fucking kettlebell swings even burns more than swimming. So I wanted to see, now with the 45 pound weight, I could just do like 12. I was doing 12 to 15 on Saturday. 12 to 15 reps with the 45, which is my heaviest weight. How many sets do you do? I do five sets of 10 to 15, 12 to 15. Then I did five sets of, well, I did like six sets of cleans. Then I did three sets of one-arm swings.

And then I did five sets of 15 to 20 with the 35 pound. Wow. And let me tell you something. I never do that, Lee. I got no reason to lie to you. I never do those last five. And I did them and my fucking lung felt tremendous. I could feel the THC juice coming out of my lungs. I could sweat it. And I went upstairs and I'm like, I'm going to be sore tomorrow. But I didn't take, I didn't take I didn't take the Advil that night. I stretched really good. And I felt that much better Saturday. I mean, I'm 50. I still feel a little knocks and bolts. And today I feel a little tight. I'm trying to decide what I'm going to do today. Today I might take a yoga class. Okay. There's an 1145 yoga class and I might take a yoga class. And if I'm up to it, I'll go to Jiu-Jitsu tonight. That's what

I'm thinking of doing. But it was the on the trim tech that made me do those last five sets. Not that it gave, not that it gives you all this energy. It's not like you drank a fucking Mountain Dew. It's just that you're like, I feel good. I could do more. Okay. And usually I get confused because when you get older, like you're 25 now, you could do whatever the fuck you want. And the next day you could just brush it off. But when you hit 35, you realize you'll go, wow, I don't have the endurance I had when I was 25. What does that mean that you can't play 10 basketball games? No, you could stay still play basketball games. You just don't recover as fast. You're a little bit more sore. Okay. From stretching afterward. I don't feel that sore. You know, and I didn't,

I didn't. So the shroom tech does work is what I'm trying to say. It didn't give me the extra energy. It gave me the extra lung power, which is what I try to tell people with shroom tech. I don't want you to think that you're going to be jumping up and down and doing jumping jacks. That's not what it lets you do. It lets you roll one time a little more. You know, I only went to jujitsu once last week. I went to the Nogi Monday last week and they confused the fuck on me, but I didn't take the shroom tech, but I've been stretching out lately. And it doesn't make me fucking sore no more. I didn't know where the fuck we're talking about this. This is what happens when I don't get high in the morning. Dollar Shave Club. Why are we fucking around with

this still? Just for on it. It's church. Church. Yeah. Listen, go to on it. See what they got that works for you. Start with fucking alpha brain. There's a money back guarantee and you don't even have to fucking return the product. If you don't believe what the fuck we're doing on it, start with on it. Start with that alpha brain. From alpha brain, go to shroom tech. From shroom trek, go to fucking hemp protein. That's why I drank this morning. You know, the hemp protein shake. Maybe it didn't fill me up this morning. The hemp protein, the chocolate, the acai vanilla, tremendous fucking flavors. That's one thing on it does with their hemp protein powders. It's not going to taste chalky. It's not going to taste like fucking shit on it.

Hemp force protein, the chocolate is fucking tremendous. Go give me a shot. What do you got to lose? You're going to go spend money on dick this weekend. Anyway, invest in you. Be a better you. Start with alpha brain. Try the shroom tech. Try. They got kettle bells. They got fucking ropes. They got butt plugs. They got everything on it. Go to on it.com. What's the thing? Church. Church. Again, Dollar Shave Club. Listen, you could spend thousands. You could spend thousands in a year on fucking razors. Do you need to raise it with a flashlight? Do you need to raise it with fucking new chucks with swivels? You don't need none of that shit. All you need is two fucking blades to get you nice and smooth and to look good. Why are you dropping 20 bucks?

Why are you fucking standing online at a fucking pharmacy wasting your time? Go to Dollar Shave Club. Press what in the church and get the deal. Either $1 a month, $6 a month or $9 a month or get razors delivered right to your fucking door. You don't have to leave the house. Double razors, nice and short, tight, allo strip. You pick the fucking price $1, $9 or $6. Who's better than you? When do you have that? When can you make the fucking choice? Fuck Father's Day. Fuck Mother's Day. Fuck Christmas. You need to shave. And that's what we do here. We save your fucking money. Go to the fucking Dollar Shave Club box right now and press in church, church, C-H-U-R-C-H and get your fucking discount today. Am I lying, Lee? You're not lying. $1, $6 or $9.

Number two, who else are we talking about here today? We're talking about escapepodtank.com. Escapepodtank.com. Why are we having this conversation? Everybody wants to float. Everybody wants to open their mind. You don't have time to go down there. Send one to your house. Where are you going to go down to some place and float around the fucking tank? People whack off in there. They're going there with rotten ass. You don't need that aggravation in your life. Order your own fucking tank. Call my man Jeremy on the 800 number. Go to escapepodtank. They got financing terms are available. They can fucking finance you a fucking tub. You could be floating by next week in 85 pounds of epsom salt thinking to yourself, who's better than fucking me? Call Jeremy. Go

to escapepodtank.com. See what type of tubs they got. They got residential tubs. They got commercial tubs. They got industrial tubs. They got a tank. Just a tank model saves you $150 fucking dollars just for ordering. You understand me? They got three different fucking tubs. They're delivering to whatever. Keep saying tubs. It's tanks, Lee. Tanks. Say tubs. Don't say tubs. It's fucking tanks. The fuck is wrong? Plus, who has a tank in your house? That'd be good for girls coming over. And you could seal the motherfucker. So if the bitch ain't gonna suck your dick, you could just close it and leave it in there. Fuck up. Three days later, you drop her off on the 170. Nobody will know fucking nothing. You understand me? Go to escapepodtank.com. Pick a tank. Call my man Jeremy

over at Escape Podtank. What's that? He's always got answers. He's got all the fucking answers, Jeremy. Financing. Who could hook it up in your area? We'll take good care of you. All right. That's how we fucking roll. What's your fucking problem? I don't know. I'll put this e-cigarette up right in your fucking ear. You'll be deaf for a fucking month. I got a disability. I'll get a disability. That's good. You got no fucking disability? You got an e-cigarette on my ear? Yeah. From who? From you. I can't give you disability. You got no fucking disability. You got them paying for that shit. Anyway, I gotta tell you a very funny story. We fucked up. Then we gotta get out of here. Well, yesterday, I go to Facebook. I got a Facebook from some girl named

Lori, whatever. I can't make people my friends on Facebook because there's too many people on there. Okay. What the fuck is that? What the fuck? It's like the day of noises. People drilling, people noising. So I look at the name and I go, wow, Lori Segal. What the fuck? I know that name. And I go back to the picture and I go, oh my god. I thought, listen, I had to sit in my room for 20 minutes and close the door because I thought of this person. I did one of the sickest fucking things ever with this girl. Sick, sick, sick, sick. So it's 84. It's like, no. No. It's, yes. Yes. It's the fall of 84. It's the winter of 84. When did Doug Fluley throw the pass against? When he played for Boston College. This is a fucked up story, Doug.

84. 84 was November. Let me check. No, it was December. It was December of 84. Unfucking unbelievable. So I'm all fucked up, buddy. I'm getting coke from people. I owe everybody money. I'm doing drugs every night. It's a fucking nightmare, right? I go to this bar, I go to Tom and Corky's. And I'm hanging out, minding my own business. And this fuck, what is it? November. November. Okay. And this girl comes in, her name is Lori. Mm-hmm. And this girl had a fucking tremendous body. Tremendous. I mean, when I tell you, this chick had a model's body. Her legs was something from another fucking planet.

Her face was kind of fucked up. I'm no handsome guy either. So she had been dating this fucking dude that was a real jerk off. And I didn't like the guy at all. And then she started dating another guy that was a jerk off. And I don't like him either. You know, not that they've mad at. I just didn't like her. I never really liked her, but she was what she was. She was fucking beautiful. And I don't know why I didn't like her. I just had something, something didn't click. You can't like everybody, you know? So I'm sitting with my brother Roger, Timmy's brother, and she comes over to the bar and she's talking to us about doing blow. And she won't shut the fuck up. So Roger gives her some of his coke first. Now at this time, I'm fronting from people.

I probably got like 10 different baggies on me, a coke, right? I got it in my sock. I got it in my inside pocket. I got it in my jeans. I got it in my back pocket and everything was for something different, you know? And she comes over and she's talking to us. And I guess Roger runs out of blow. I'm not paying attention to it. I think Roger wanted to end up fucking or whatever. So I'm not paying real attention to it. I'm just too fucked up to even make eye contact with the bitch. So Roger turns to me because he's my buddy and he goes, do you have another package on you? And I go for the wrong package. I give her a big fucking package, like two grams in there. I give it to Roger. I see Roger give it to her and she takes all. I don't say none.

This is like me giving you coke. You're my brother. Fuck it. Whatever happens happens. If it's like Leo fucking take care of it. She comes back, gives me the package and this goes on for an hour. She needs a bump. I give her the package. After one of the things, she comes back and she disappears for 20 minutes and she comes back and I get that package. She goes, I give it to Roger. So about 10 minutes later, I go, Roger, where's that package? Roger goes, I gave it to Lori. I go, where's fucking Lori? She said she gave it to you. She never gave it back to me. Right? I'm like, where's fucking Lori? I don't know. She left. I go outside to the front of the bar. It's 2.30 in the fucking morning. I can't find this broad. Lee, I had another ounce of

blow on me. It wasn't about the fucking money. It wasn't about the blow. It was at this chick that I didn't like that I was giving a free coke through my friend took my fucking package. I find out that she's not dating none of those losers no more, that she's this guy, Lutonado's fucking, that Danny Benculo knows. Next time Danny calls in, we'll tell the story. Lutonado, this guy that thinks he's a gangster, he's got a massage parlor in North Bergen. He would always, when we were kids, he would always go, if you guys want to work security, I went to the massage parlor, not paying. And then at the end of the night, he go, I got no cash. I bought a blow job. He like, I need fucking money. I don't want to blow job. I need

fucking money. So they told me that she's living at Louis Donado's house, that she's working as his fucking nanny, which means she's fucking Louis Donado. Lee, I don't give a fuck. I'm going to Louis Donado's house. I get to Louis Donado's house at 3.30 in the morning. Can you imagine something knocking at your door at 3.30 in the morning? No. I knock on Louis Donado's door at 3.30 in the morning, I go, Louis, he answers with a robot thinking he's like fucking the guy from Playboy. Do you have that? Do you happen to, he answers the thing and he's like, what's up, Coco? What are you doing here? I go, I got to talk to Lori, something went down today. And he goes, what? And I go, it's between me and Lori. Let me just ask her a question. He goes,

okay. Lori, come on up. This bitch comes up with a robot with a bikini underneath, with like a bra and a see-through bra and like panties, whatever. And I look at her and I forgot about the coke being taken. She looks at me and she's like, like putting her fingers over the lips and she goes outside. I go, Lori, what'd you do with the coke? She's like, oh my God, it was so fucking good. I'm so sorry. I go, Lori, I need that fucking coke back. And she's like, it's the coke I've been doing with Louis all night. And I go, are you fucking Louis? And she goes, well, I'm his nanny and we end up sleeping together some nights, you know? I go, have you fucked him yet tonight? She goes, no, I go, good,

you're fucking with me. Let's go. This is how crazy I was. This is how fucking crazy I was. So she goes back, I go, I don't give a fuck what you gotta tell Louis. Tell Louis that you gotta take a ride with me, but I want my fucking money back or you're gonna suck my dick. That you're not going to just take $200 from me just because you didn't fucking want it. I don't even know what went down. I don't even know if I asked her for a blow job. Because I wasn't attracted to her. But when I saw it with the fucking bikini, I was like, wait a second, this bitch is crazy. Do you know that me and this girl were right back in the fucking house? And she's like, Louis, I have to take a ride with him. And Louis is like,

you're not fucking leaving this house. You're my fucking nanny. You got to get up. And she's like, Louis, knock it off. We've been doing blow. You've been trying to fuck me for the last hour. I just got to take a fucking ride with this guy. All right, she gets the rest of my coke. As I'm walking up the stairs, I'm such a piece of shit. I look on top of the refrigerator, and there's a deposit bag. I think he had like a bar or something. I just took that deposit bag, I just took it to go. And she didn't know. I put it under my arm. And she's like, what are you doing? I go, nothing. She goes, are you taking something? I go, no, no, no, no. I'm just, we got to the fucking hotel. I paid cash for the hotel. I went inside the hotel room.

I opened up the fucking blue bag in the bathroom. I told her I had a pee. And it was like $2,000, $15,000 in that fucking envelope. I took the fucking blue envelope. I looked up the toilet, that not the toilet seat, but the toilet rim where the water floats in there. And I put that fucking thing in there. And I closed it. And I'm going outside and asking, I go, Laurie, what do I have to do to fucking? And she's like, just guess the color of my panties. She was like, guess, I swear to God. Jesus Christ. And I go red. And she goes, wrong, blue. You still won. And I remember that we did blow and fucked and sucked. Disgusting. I had that dick. It was disgusting. I don't even remember. I just know that the sun was coming through and she was

naked. And I was naked. This is 1984. This is 30 fucking years ago. I was a mess. Lee, a fucking mess. And I remember waking up the next morning, not even the next morning, waking up the next night at six o'clock, I woke up. The phone was ringing. We had to pay the fucking hotel bill. It was like a stinky hotel. And I remember looking at her and she was fucking passed out. She had white shoe all over her nose, the fucking hotel room. There was bottles of booze tipped over. She smoked cigarettes. I didn't smoke at that time. I wouldn't make a go outside. And I remember, I never felt so bad about myself. I had nothing going on. I was a 21 year old kid, Lee, with zero possibilities. Zero. It was fucking November, a month before. I remember the holidays were close.

Because I remember that. I remember, I woke up to Doug Flutey going back and throwing that. The TV was on. We went to bed. Okay. And I threw him a Doug Flutey going back and throwing the fucking touchdown. And me calling a cab because I don't know what I did with the car I had. I didn't know nothing. I know I had keys on me that belonged to something. I remember looking at her and her going, that was a fun night last night. And me going, yeah. And she goes, where you going? I go, I'm going to get something to eat. I'll be back. And I left and I never saw that girl again. And she just friended you? And she just friended me on Facebook 30 fucking years later. Did you say anything? Not at all. What can I fucking say, Lee? I didn't. Lee, I had forgotten

all about her years later. I think somebody told me that something about her. That's it. That's the last time I heard of that woman. I was walking out of a whole town room. She was a mess. I was a fucking mess. I mean, I felt so bad. My wife could say, what's the matter? Your face looks weird. I go, you never understand. I didn't tell the story about the sex and stuff. Yeah. I had to make up some fucking lie about that. I hadn't seen her in 30 30 fucking years. And I felt like calling her up going, what happened that night? What the fuck? How did I mean, I have never done anything like that in my life. Make a girl leave a house. She was already fucking with her. She was already and Lou Donato, I know he was looking for me because years later I heard that I robbed the money

that you robbed Lou Donato's house. He sent the mafia looking for you some shit. But it's just amazing 30 fucking years later. That's it. That's all I got to say to people. Facebook, bringing people together, bringing people together. That's why, brother, you never know who the fucking gonna bump into. And I want to know how she even remembered because I didn't fucking remember. I don't remember. And I'm gonna call it today. Oh, well, I'm gonna friend her and ask her. I've been thinking about it all night. When I woke up this morning, I knew what I got to find out what the fuck happened that night. She's got kids now. She's got two kids. Oh, good. Okay. She lives in Florida. What do you think? So what's gonna happen to her? I don't know. I mean, that's not, I don't

know. What if she was waiting for you? She still does coke? I don't know. There's so many possibilities. 30 years later? Yeah. Lee, just because you put a nice shirt on. Don't insult me. All right. Anyway, we're gonna beat the San Jose Improv next weekend, the 10th through the 13th. That's always a fucking party. Lee will not be there. Your girlfriend will be looking for you and Melissa. Oh, yeah, that was fun. That was fun last year. That was very fun last year. Then Vegas, you come to Vegas for one night and then I'll be at the Pioneer Club and Reno. That's the fucking three shows one on Friday and two on Saturday. All this happens in motherfucking July. What do you think about that, Cox? I love it. And also, I got to give just in case, just in case, Hulu Plus.

Hulu Plus for all your fucking TV fucking needs. All right. I don't know how many times I got to fucking tell you people that Hulu Plus has got something for you. You know what they got for you? All the shows you fucking watch. That's what they got for you from fucking San I Live to the Daily Show to fucking kids shows. And you know what it cost you? What's it cost you, Lee? Cost you nothing for two weeks and then $7.99 a month. $7.99 a fucking month. $7.99 a fucking month to get topped on entertainment on all your fucking devices. Roku, the fucking iPad, the fucking pad. What else do you get it on? The Xbox, PS, Playstations, any connected TVs. Basically, if it has an internet connection on the screen, you're probably gonna be able to use it. There you go.

HuluPlus.com. Go there, tell them we sent you. Go to the box and press in. Joey. Joey, J-O-E-Y and get your two weeks of subscription to HuluPlus. All right? That's it. That's all we got today. It was a slow-paced show, but it is what it is. We'll be back Wednesday night. We're gonna discover the roots of Disco Wednesday fucking night, all right? Do you have anything to tell these cocksuckers, Lee? I love them. Thanks for coming on to this. It was fun meeting everyone at the Ice House. It was fun. What about that black guy that we gave the half of Boomi to at the end? If you're watching or you're listening, give us a fucking shout out, cocksuck. I forgot what your name was. I want to give you a shout out. Did you forget what his name was? No, no. I was gone at that point.

And then the girl, the couple who at the last live podcast or the two ago gave me the green horn on stage. They were there with the green horn, too. So it's- You didn't even get one, did you? No, no. Well, neither did you. It was you had it. No, I didn't know. I had the half you gave me and then the quarter and then the espresso beam, which I don't know how bad that is. How fucked up were you then? Pretty bad. I, uh, what the half- If you noticed, the first half I gave you, you weren't fucked up. I was fucked up, but I was still able to talk. You weren't fucked up, though. See? You're building up resistance. No, yeah, no, yeah. The half and the gummy and the espresso beam. You always tell me you go home and go to sleep when the half. You can't go more sleeping

a lot. You're a gentleman. You're a Jew gentleman. It's so- It just, it affects me now. It's not like I'm going, I wish I was that kind of high where I could go and do stuff. I'm jealous. When I got home thinking- What if I locked your fucking doors out? Where would you sleep? You couldn't sleep. If I took your keys from you, you couldn't go home and sleep. You'd have to be forced to do things. And that's how you, that's what I'm saying to you. You think I break your balls? No, but I wouldn't, I wouldn't start going and sitting on a bench, like a homeless person. I'd rather you do that than go home. Oh my god. I'd rather you sit on a homeless bench and watch two squirrels jump up and down at each other than fucking you go home. Because when you

go home, you go to sleep. You're getting an old son. It's a beautiful day to be alive, Lee. Yeah, I mean, when I'm high, I do go to sleep. But no, I'm really starting to leg the gym, so that's great. You liking it? Yeah, yeah. In an hour, I'm going to have to go first- What's the class you're taking today? You're taking a class today? I haven't, I didn't, I think the classes. Let's pick a class. Go. I want to do spin. What time is the spin class? I don't know what time it is today. Well, go look. Let's see. We'll wait. We'll wait. Go to fucking 24 hour fitness and see what time it is off Hollywood spin classes. I'm going to drive you to that. I'm

going to go with you today. That's it. Now you piss me off. All right, let's find it. You're going to go jump up in the other way, your green and yellow shirt. What are you going to do? No, no, I have gym clothes and stuff. C.L. classes. Don't bullshit me. Don't bullshit me. I'll send Josh McCowsky after you. You know what I'm saying? Oh god. It's a little far right there. Nobody got their feelings there. Oh yeah. What the fuck, Lee? I'm trying to find it. What the fuck, Lee?

Keep saying loading. 24 hour fitness. You're going to go to this fucking class. I love you, cocksuckers. It's a beautiful day to be alive. You're an American. Grab your dick. Grab your gun. Shoot somebody if you have your fucking doubts. But don't just fucking sit. They got to do something with yourself. You understand me? I love you guys. Have a great week. We'll see you Wednesday night or Wednesday morning. We haven't decided yet. And keep your fucking fingers. You need all of them for the 4th of July. Stay black. I love you. Now that the show is over, don't forget to sign up for your free trial of Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus has been on thousands of hit shows anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone,

or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus. When you go to huluplus.com slash joey or go to joeyds.net and click on the Hulu Plus banner. Don't forget to sign up for dollarshaveclub.com. Get high quality Razor Sentient Door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now go to dollarshaveclub.com forward slash church or just go to joeyds.net and click on the dollarshaveclub banner. And as we mentioned, the show is sponsored by On It. Go there for all your supplements and I don't know, Joe, what did you say? It's an improvement. What is it? It's an optimization. Optimization. Use the code word church to get 10% off and go to escapepodtank.com.

Imagine Joe, he is in save 200. Call Jeremy. He wants to hear from you. Thank God. I don't know, but today seems kind of high. No parking from the door. No small. And mama cooked the breakfast with no home. I got my grub on, but didn't dig out. Finally got a call from a girl. I want to dig out. So hooked it up for later as I hit the door. Bicking while I live. Another 24. I gotta go cause I got near drop top and if I hit the switch, I can make the ass drop. Had to stop at a red light looking in my mirror, not a jacker inside. And everything is all right. I got a beat from Kim and she can fuck all night. Caught up the homies and I'm maxing y'all. Which part are y'all playing basketball?

Give me on the court and I'm troubled. Last week fucked around and got a triple double. Freakin niggas every way like MJ. I can't believe today was a good day. Drove to the pad and hit the showers. Didn't even get no static from the cowards. Cause as yesterday them booze tried to pass me. Saw the police and they wore white past me. No flexing. Didn't even look in the niggas direction as I ran the intersection. Went to show dog's house. They was watching you on TV raps. What's the haps on the craps? Shake em up, shake em up, shake em up, shake em. Roll them in a circle of niggas and watch me break em with a 7. 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven. 7 even backed a little joke. I picked up the cash flow.

Then we played goals and I'm yelling domino. Plus nobody I know got killed in South Central Today was a good day. Left my niggas house paid. Picked up a girl been trying to fuck sister 12th grade. It's ironic. I had the rule she had the chronic. Relatives beat the supersonic. I felt on the big fat fanny. Pulled out the jammy and killed the poor nanny. And my dick runs deep. So deep. So deep put her ass to sleep. Woke her up around one. She didn't hesitate to call ice cube the top gun. Drawer took a bat and I'm coasting. Took another sip of the potion. Hit the three wheel motion.

I was glad everything had worked out. Dropped her ass off and then churned out. Today was like one of those fly dreams. Didn't even see a berry flashing those high beams. No helicopter looking for a murder. Two in the morning got the fat burger. Even saw the lights of the blue gear blimp. And it went ice cubes up piff. Drunk as hell but no throwing up. Halfway home and my page is still blowing up. Today I didn't even have to use my AK. I gotta say it was a good day. Hey wait, wait a minute, Poo. Stop this shit. What the fuck I'm thinking about?