Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #204 - Joey Diaz, Todd Lowe, Nick Papadakis and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: August 14, 2014

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined by Actor Todd Lowe of True Blood and Nick Papadakis live in studio. Both are also members of a band called LA Hottenany. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for 50% off your first order. Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by mentioning the Church. Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/joey before September 1 for 20% off. Recorded live on 08/13/2014. Music: Johnny Cash, Cocaine Blues

This show is sponsored by Nature Box, where you can order great tasting healthy snacks right to your door. Snacks smarter with healthy and delicious treats like Santa Fe corn sticks and french toast granola. Support this podcast and get 50% off of your first order. Go to naturebox.com promo code joey. That's naturebox.com promo code joey. The show is also sponsored by audit.com. Go there for alpha brand new mood, shroom tech immune, shroom tech sport, anything like that and get 10% off when you use the code word church. This show is also sponsored by nailed it life.com for all the oil and wax smokers out there for the premier vapor pen on the market. Go to nailed it life.com mentioned joey Diaz

and get 20% off the pen and go to meet undies.com and check out the picks of men's underwear and sexy women's lace thongs. You have to go to meet undies.com slash joey before September 1st. So in the next two, three weeks, you're gonna get 20% off of your first order. That's 20% off at meundies.com slash joey before September 1st. Wednesday night, you filthy cocksuckers were back bitches like herpes the church of what's happening now throwing heat at you like a fucking savage. You got the flying Jew, Lee Syat, Uncle Joey Diaz, LA Hoot Nannies in studio and it's all about you. Break out the bomb hits, tell mama to lick your nuts. It's over. It's over. Little Johnny Cash for your

motherfuckers is a remembrance. Maybe you were thinking of doing a line of cope. Now you gotta do one. Now you gotta commit. Now you gotta fucking commit. What's the story, Lee Syat? What's the story? The story is that I'm about to be fucked up. Good. You need that shit. You're too uptight, you know. I'm never uptight. You fucking sit there. You watch ESPN all day. You believe what they talk about. You gotta get your shit together. Yeah, I love ESPN. I know. I never seen nothing like that. You just sit there. You watch ESPN. Yeah. And what do they talk about? Stocks and bonds? What do they do? Always. The markets. No, football's getting started. I love football. I'm excited. How many more weeks to football? I think they only had the first

preseason game, so that means three more weeks of preseason. I got a call last weekend. My friend calls me. He goes, hey, it's Griffin's 13th birthday. What are you doing next Tuesday? I go, nothing. He goes, come with us as a family. Celebrate Griffin's birthday. Where are we going? He goes, Oxnard. The Raiders are playing the Dallas Cowboys. And we're going to go up there. And the baby gets carsick. Thank fucking God. He's only gone up there like an idiot. Did you see what happened? No. There was a fight in preseason games. Two idiots went at it and the stands and the people. Yeah, the players. I don't need my daughter to see this. Have you been to an Oakland game? I heard that's pretty crazy. Yeah, you don't need that in your life.

You don't need it in your life. No. Listen, LA fucking baseball games, people getting concussions. Yeah. Can you imagine? They're fucking savages. They're on probation. They don't let you in there unless you're on probation, on parole. At the Raiders game. It's like you raped your grandmother, something fucking crazy. They don't let normal people to fucking rate a game. You got to show up at a fucking mental health counselor. You got to show up with somebody, a gun. It's fucking ridiculous. You might as well watch that shit at the house. I love the Raiders. I love watching them. I love the tradition. I get it. But that don't mean you got to go to a fucking game and get stabbed. Football's not even, I mean, it's fun live. But if you really

want to watch the game, I feel like it's better at home because whenever I've been to a game, I'm always looking at the freaking monitor anyways. But you know, man, you go, you watch, you're getting there. I love it. I love live performances. But there's an extreme where you sit there and go, how much longer am I going to keep getting fucked in the ass? I got to pay 200 for a ticket, 22 for a hot dog, a scarf, a picture, enough. I used to go to games and have 15 fucking bucks, $2 for a hot dog, you got a diet soda, whatever. It was $3. That's it. Now you can't even go to a Laker game, man. You can't do anything. I'm taking my uncle to the Dodgers September 22nd. I went to Subway Sandwich, those cocksuckers, and they had some code and I threw

it in and they charged me double. And there were shitty tickets, but I had already told them, so I was already committed. So what was I going to tell them Subway sucks dick? No. I pointed up and I fucking dropped the yardstick and got decent tickets for me and my 74 year old uncle. Oh, good. And I'm going to take him and I got to sit there for nine innings because he's Cuban. I can't act like the regular Gentiles in LA. They go to a game for six innings and go, oh, we got to get out of here. Starbucks is closing. God forbid Starbucks closes without you making the last fucking nightcap. Did you ever go to minor league baseball when you were a kid? I went a couple times and it's always a ton of fun. And my parents were happier because until I was like

seven or eight, I never made it past like the second inning because kids, I was there. It was fun before and then we sat down and I got bored. But my parents would take us to like, I had a birthday party once at like the AAA game and it was cheap and it was fun. And when you're a kid, you don't really know the difference. It's all baseball. Well, listen, man, you take a kid to a baseball game after two innings, they don't care if Jesus is throwing the fucking ball. They want to run around. Right. I want to run around. I want to run around and chase stadium and bother people and throw peanuts to say and you only come back to pick up two more and you get two more hours. You come back and you get two more hours and you run for fucking your parents get upset,

but that's what those things are for. I used to like to go to my parents with the aqueduct racetrack in New York because there was a bunch of kids playing two hand touch football every time you went. So you just said goodbye. See you on the way out. I'll be out here playing two hand touch football with these animals from fucking the Bronx. That sounds like fun. Sure. Why not? Why not? So what else? That's why you got me have a plateau at the gym. What's going on? Yeah, you hear like fucking depressed. Well, yeah, because I when you start losing weight, you like seeing the numbers going down and I've been doing good. But I don't know what it is. I I've been at this little plateau and but I told you I haven't been shitting at all. Sorry for

the girls out there. But I got some someone said probiotics help that. So I'm trying to do that and then backed up. Huh? Yeah, I don't know what it is. Kill all this. There's gummy here, Bill. Help you out. No, we'll push. I don't fucking kill you. Don't push. Don't do nothing. Tonight you stop at CVS and just ask him. I want the shit that sends out everything that kills all the animals. Steve Simone said there's something called like a psyllium fiber or something you can buy that's really good. And what does he do? Oh, he drinks, mixes it with water and pushes everything. But you might have to stick a finger up your muffler and loosen stuff. You might have said fucking hummus. It's that hummus. It's not the hummus. Fuck you in that

fucking hummus. Hummus is delicious. Those fucking Arabians, they make that shit. So when you drink it with Coca Cola, it tightens up in your asshole. That's the plan to fucking kill us. Yeah. We have one diet or hummus. That's right. I don't eat that shit. That's why. That's why you clogged up. Think of what that shit is. It's fucking spackle. It's Arabian fucking spackle. It's veggie. That's what they use on the huts. They know fucking. That's what they tell you and these fucking people jump up and down. Like a bunch of fucking muts. That's why you gotta stop that shit. That's why you're backed up. Maybe who knows. That's all fucking hummus thought and those chickpeas and that fucking toenails. Whatever they put in that shit. Disgusting. What's happened? LA Houdnaly in the

motherfucking house. How are we happy to be here? Todd and my main man fucking whatever his name is. I'm not going to tell you. The Greek Papadakis. What's happening fellas? Dude we just were around. Thought we'd come in. We're playing this weekend. Right up the street from you. I know. Right up the federal. I love it. Nice little fucking place. Fuck yeah. Sound system. Yeah. They got a great sound and you guys go upstairs. Yeah. They got a nice salad, a couple cocktails. There's always a couple of hoes hanging out in front. Yeah. So Saturday night you're sitting there. You don't want to watch Shark Tank. Fuck it. Get a quailude. Go down there. The federal slingsome dick. Take a chance. Columbus did. Where do you get a quailude?

You can't. You gotta go to the fucking these weird neighborhoods. They don't have on Craigslist. No. You gotta go to the 70s. You gotta go to the 70s. You gotta go back. I got one at the house but it's like a half a dud. Somebody gave him to me in San Jose. So one night I was home and I cracked a half like the skin pop and nothing happened. I popped the other half. I don't know what happened. Is it still called a quailude or have they changed the name to? They changed the name of everything. Like I went to the doctor and I'm having surgery on the 26th. He gave me prescription for Vicodin. He goes they're not Vicodin. There's no more. They call them Norcos now. What's the fucking difference? I'm gonna be backed up like Lee for three fucking days.

Those things are the worst. I don't know how people get addicted to Vicodin. Codin and Tylenol. Holy shit those things. Codin's great. That's what's backing you up. No, no, no. I don't. I put Codin in the fucking hummus. I only did it when it was, when I got bronchitis from smoking hash at your house. That's right. And they gave me Codin and like I could see what people liked it because it was it was amazing. What happened there? It's just like it's like kind of like a warmer weed but then you don't like you're still kind of conscious. You can still walk around. You sure? Yeah. And I didn't even take that much. I just took the, the, did you drink it? Yeah. It's a little, it's a little. You smoke some cigarettes with it?

How do you smoke? No, it's a little treat. You smoke some Codin. You smoke some cigarettes. You're off and running, Jack. That's what the old Puerto Ricans did. I don't smoke. You're doing jumping Jags. You're hallucinating. Yeah, that's, God, this is old metal. Remember that's what they used to do. They used to do all that shit in the 70s with the fucking Codin. You went to a dentist, whatever. Yeah. You drank it. You smoked something. The next thing you know you were seeing Martians. I don't fucking know. I'm just, I was in a Codin person. I don't know. There wasn't even any UFOs in the 70s. All that Project Blues shit. But Codin gets closer to the microphone. Project Blue Book. No, they, what's in Nyquil? I don't know. Alcohol is in Nyquil. Yeah,

pretty much. Tussin, I think, is Robotussins. That's what the, the rappers like the, in Houston we were talking about. They, the chopped and screwed style that slowed down. That's right. Syrup. That started in Houston. That's right. Some people may claim otherwise, but I always read that it was, that it started in Houston. No, what is that in that exactly? It's like Robotussins and fucking great Kool-Aid, some fucking shit they mixed and they get fucked up. Isn't it Codin and just soda or whatever juice you want to use? I don't know, but I know, I got friends that are addicts and stuff and they've had a problem with that stuff too. They'll get addicted to it. Yeah. It's been money on Nyquil. No, I've had friends that

we got hooked on Nyquil. Yeah. It's scary. They get a lot of discounts. So Robo tripping. We called it or Tussin, Robotussin tripping. Yeah. That's, I never got into that shit. The craziest thing I did, my friend had a funeral parlor. We did the joint in the formaldehyde. You let it dry for three days. It's fucking tremendous, tremendous. There's levels and levels going on here that I'm not even. No, you were decent. Nick's a spiritual person and he's a martial artist and he doesn't put toxins into his body. Nick, we met at V-MAC. Yep. In the Jujitsu class and Valley Martial Arts Center. Valley Martial Arts Center. We hit the Tuesday and Thursday class and we hit it off and Nick is also part of Dog Brothers. Yes, I am. And

explain what Dog Brothers is. It comes out of a group, a martial arts system called Kali or Arnis or Screamats. Basically, stick fighting comes from the Philippines. So basically, it's a Filipino martial art based on, a lot of people see it because it's stick fighting, but in the old world it was machete fighting and stuff, but it's become somewhat of a sport in America. But the Dog Brothers are known for sort of raising it up a little bit. We do full contact fighting. With those sticks? Yeah, we do like the UFC accepts. Take a look at his hands. I mean, hold them up to those little cameras. Yeah, we got them. He's got some knuckles. I got a little, yeah, no knuckles actually anymore. Oh my god. But it's basically like the UFC except we use sticks.

And then we wear a light fencing mask like the old kind where you can kind of press it. It looks like a screen door and we use very light hockey gloves or street hockey gloves or goalie gloves from Stalker. Can they hit you in the head? Yeah, the point is to either knock them out, submit them or whatever. But it has, if you watch it and you don't know about it, it seems pretty rough because it is. But the idea is that we're trying to push each other. It's like a tribal mentality. We're trying to push each other to be better. Do you use like foam sticks during practice or something? Yeah, when you every day practice, you might use a foam stick or what we call no wind sparring where you don't make the stick move so fast. Oh my god. And there's lots of drills and

stuff to practice because they used to practice with machetes out in the field. Maybe put the cover on in practice. Holy shit. Yeah, it was like, it's kind of like, it's kind of something, an art that like a farm worker might use in the Philippines because they settled a lot of their scores and family disputes with machetes. Now, what's really weird that I didn't know about this, you know, I'm like everybody else in America, you think the Kung Fu, China and all that stuff, but there's a whole system in Hawaii and there's a whole system in the Philippines. It's very interesting because there's like forms of Kempo in Hawaii that their roots come from the Philippines and they mix it. And remember we were discussing that like the Kempo I was studying, the guy wanted

you to learn it with a knife first, the move, then a stick, then your fist or your fist, the knife, long distance, short distance, you did the exact same move. Only one with a knife, one with a stick. So this is all like ancient, like Philippines created, like, what's that Kajakempo? Kajakempo was made by, I think, Hawaiians. Yeah. To fight the Americans when the soldiers would come down and bully them at bars. So they devised this system like karate, judo. Yeah, I think there's, the whole name is split up of an acronym, but I don't know the full thing because a friend of mine is really high up in Kajakempo, but they were basically some Bruiser guys and they basically had a think tank and took the best from all their styles and came up with

this sort of ass-kicking Kung Fu karate of Hawaii called Kajakempo. No, when I was young, I did Taekwondo and the master, I guess, had a long thin stick. Is that something like part of your thing or is it just the short sticks that you brought? The long thin sticks, I think, are just for like being a jerk and kind of slapping you on the legs and like changing your stance. I mean, we do because supposedly thinner sticks are more like a blade or something, but really what we use now is a stick. It used to be for training, but we use a stick that'll knock you out. Like you want a heavy piece of rattan and we are trying to knock each other out. We go for about three minutes. The Dog Brothers were one of the first sort of other groups besides Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu to

incorporate Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu or grappling. They were doing it, they incorporated it with the Machados into their stick fighting system before the UFC even came out. So I think around 1988, I believe. So they were training in the garage with the Machados and the Gracie's too. So it's pretty interesting now because it's so violent. It's so violent in the UFC more than elbow. I can't imagine a fucking thing. Get ahead in the head with a fucking stick. Yeah. That's a party. Wait, you're trying to knock each other out, but you have a helmet on. Yes. So you're going to hit someone hard enough on the head to deliver a concussive blow that's going to knock someone down. Yes, but not in class. Not in class. This is what we have like twice a year. We have what's called

the gathering of the pack where we come out and different schools can come and we fight for three minutes. It's like a fight day, but it has, like I said, elements of a tribe. Like it would be like kind of preparing for a, I mean, it's kind of like Burning Man or like preparing for a battle. You see like tribes getting ready and getting worked up, but it really is about bettering ourselves. It's not about beating people down sometimes in like, not the UFC so much, but like lower end cage fights. It's this kind of attitude of like destroy them or beat them down or I beat you, man. And the sportsmanship or the sort of tribal aspects aren't there. So it's very, I've never been, I've been in martial arts my

whole life. I've been to tournaments, things like that, but I've never been to anything like this because it's, we're so far into the adrenal state, meaning like it's, it's real. Like you think you're going to die and you're like, I shouldn't walk out onto this mat, but you do. And if you do and you're done, by the time you get done, you feel closer to that person, even though they're trying to knock your block off that you're like, you kind of understand the other person. It's, it's a very strange thing. All the martial arts give you a type of spiritual essence in a way. They say that in Brazil, they jiu-jitsu, you know, they play jiu-jitsu with the lights off or blindfolded just by feeling and, you know, under the light, under the moon, whatever the fuck, you know. And when you're

doing forums, sometimes you go into a different state, state you're breathing. Also happens with yoga. You know, sometimes you go to yoga and just your breathing takes you to that different, you know, they say it opens up your chakras, as they say, you know. Absolutely, gets you in the alpha state. Gets you in the alpha state. So there's a runner's high, correct? I mean, they speak about a runner's high. So I think when that's why working on any levels also is always so great for you, you know, at any level, just breathing with the oxygen going to all your, you know, whether it's sticks, sidekicks for Jesus, walking to Anaburga, whatever the fuck you're into. It always, I remember living in New York and in New York, you have to fucking walk. And after a while,

you start to hate it, but it's quicker. You don't have five hours for a cab, you don't have this, you just walk it. So after a while, you get a Walkman, whatever the fuck, an iPod, you know, when I was walking around New York, there was a Walkman. And then after a while, you decide, this walk would be a little better if I smoked a fucking number. And all of a sudden you listen to the almonds live. And after Sweet Melissa, tell me you don't go into a fucking heavenly fucking state that you have to, somebody, a car has to almost cut you off for you to go, what the fuck is this? That is the patois of all that shit, you know. So I understand where he's coming from. I understand that once somebody's trying to hit you in the head, and we're shaking hands,

it does let you know about the other person. So you see a different side of that person. Oh, I know. And I get, it was always very, like, not spiritual, but it was always very, when I would go that they'd say, like, this isn't to go fight. It was always very nice. It's just, this is one of the more violent ones I've ever heard of, but it sounds cool. We're going to get you down there. I'm going to hit you with that fucking 15 times, Scott Sutton. Tied any martial arts for you growing up in H-town? Did you grow up in H-town? I grew up north of Houston in a town called Umbul. No, I never really did any. I played baseball and soccer and basketball. Same shit, you know. We're really against H's in Houston and Umbul.

We don't pronounce them. Oh, the silent H? So Umbul is how far from Houston? Oh, it's, I don't know, 15 miles north. I did comedy there. In Umbul? In Umbul. It's a fucked up place, right? There's no comedy club there. There's no comedy club. It's a bar. Okay. There was one bar, and we did it with this kid that was fucking crazy. And you did comedy in front of the door. Basically, when people walked in, you had to move out of the way. You understand me? Only in Texas. Was this a paid gig or did you? Yeah, yeah, 50 bucks. It was like once a month, they did it. It was a fucking horror show. Listen, in music, you do horror shows in the beginning. And in comedy, you do fucking horror shows in the beginning. That's just part of it.

Yeah, sure. And this was one of those, hey, man, you're busy today and you're out of town. You know, I don't live in Houston. I'm in Houston. So when I'm in Houston, chilling, anybody who comes to me with a 50, fuck it, let's go. You know, in those days, let's go. That's just another half gram of blow. You know, what the fuck do I care? My go duty. And I learned. I went to all those places, Pasadena, Beaumont. I used to love fucking Beaumont. I OD'd in Beaumont. I valued it for three days. Oh my god. Fucking tremendous. It's a little broad. I'm telling you, right there in the Papadose, all that, that whole area, was my fucking little drug kingdom there. Right there. There was a lot of drugs in

Houston, actually. Yeah. Oh my god. Especially in high school and stuff. Really? Yeah, like X was big and right. Yeah, it was big. When I first started, first time I went to Houston was 1998. But the first time I had ever learned about Houston was Monday night football, when Earl Campbell would play. And me and my boys would get on the phone and go, wait a second, fuck the Pittsburgh Steelers. Do you see what these crazy motherfuckers with cowboy hats are doing in Houston? And next to you know, we became Earl Campbell fans. And I would always go, I want to go to Houston. And then I became a Houston rocker fan when they had Moses Malone. That's how deep I go back into Houston when they had Moses fucking Malone. And in the eighth grade, me and Chuck

McBreen, who's called into this fucking show, and why the old Donald took a bus from Jersey to fucking Piscalaway, and it would take into New York City. You had to switch buses. We told our moms we were going like a bat. We're going down the corner to the church, church. We went to, and Moses, that's when he used to be real. This guy scored 31 points. It had 19 rebounds. It was like a bad night. Whoa. That's when he was a savage before. Then I came, came, and then I became in love with them again. But that's, but then I went down to do comedy. And I was done. 1998, the first time I walked in, they were Bobby Slayton at the last stop on West Gray. I was done. Guys, I was done. This was the Kenison thing. I just read the book two weeks ago. I read

my brother Sam. I read it over again. And those first two chapters are just about Houston and them walking to go hang out outside a Mexican restaurant with ZZ Top used to eat that. I get tears in my fucking eyes. Who walks to hang out at a restaurant with ZZ Top used to hang out, some Mexican joint. And I've seen Billy Gibbons in town. I had a, uh, not, uh, not the Chewies, but there's another like Tamali chain. Oh, no, he likes, um, Barry Hill. The one on sunset, right by the, uh, compadre. Yeah, sure. The food is horrible, but the cocaine is tremendous. You know what I'm saying? They fucking, I seen, I seen Quentin Tarantino get fucking caught. He was crawling out of that one night. Like they knocked him out. His little feet were dragging on the floor. They just

threw him in a car and shit. Back when I was snorting blow, I would beat Lindsay Lohan. That was the game. Who could beat Lindsay Lohan? I used to see her there at four in the afternoon. God suck it. You got me by 30 minutes. You fucking compadre. That's why I saw Billy Gibbons with not a Chewies hat, but a Barry Hill hat. Barry Hill is not a Tamali place in Houston that has, uh, a really good lemonade or like some type of limeade or something. Chewies has the margaritas. They have the Elvis chicken on Wednesday. And on Mondays, they got the sour cream, chicken, motherfucking enchiladas. Who the fuck do you think you're dealing with? And we in Austin now? We're in Austin and Houston. We're moving. Yeah. We don't fuck around here. We're gonna

Chewies is in Austin and in Houston, right? Yeah. Yeah. They haven't been both of them. That's more of a Papasito's man in Houston. I'm a Papasito's man myself. And in Austin too. That's a whole family. They got Papa's restaurant, Papa does that like Cajun place, Papasito's. There's an Italian one too, right? Yeah. Is it Papa's seafood? Are you related to those Papa duck? No, we there's all kinds of crazy Pappas in Houston. Well, we were friends. Coney Island is a Papadakis. That was a Papadakis restaurant. But what's the Greek chain down in Houston? He owns one on West Gray. There's one called the Great Greek. Yeah. And yeah, the Great Greek. And it's the same guys as on Ventura too. What the fuck is this? Because the kid got into comedy.

And we would go to his father's restaurant. His father had three Greek restaurants. That's where he used to get the cheese omelet with the steak fries. But at the main one, there was his old man that had no patience for nobody in Houston, Texas. He had like the patience of a New Yorker and people come in and give you a menu. And I remember one day he was sitting there and he liked me because he used to start talking about politics and I would let him roll. When people start talking about politics and they're knowledgeable, but they're at that dementia stage, just let him fucking roll. Just let him roll. Don't argue with him. He was talking about the Mormons, how they own Coca-Cola. And they fucking were trying to buy Houston, but the guy that shot the gun in Houston

at the fuck. I mean, it was crazy. This was deep. But one day he's sitting there and somebody's like, I don't know. I don't know if they get the eggs or the omelet. He goes, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no. Make up your fucking mind. I swear to God. And after that, I went in there every fucking time I was in here. I forget the fucking kid's name, but Houston just had this weird flag. I bet it ends in an S. Yeah. All great names in an S. Yeah. Papas. And they used to have the cheese dip. Papadopoulos. No. Custis. Sivalis. Goodzakis. That was my friends. Yeah. Goodzakis. Now, I used to run with Grease in New York, Helen Aramides, Huffle and the Jiro stuff on 42nd Street, man. So next time you're in New York and you're on 42nd Street, it's around the corner.

You never know. What the fuck, people? You might be in New York. This friend of mine, just to go back to Billy Gibbons, he wrote for Guitar Player Magazine and he got to interview him. And he went to go interview him and he goes, you want to get some like Mexican food first? And he got to go to this Mexican food place with Billy Gibbons, which is like, you know, like going to, you know, I don't know, going to Israel with Jesus or something. But then they ended up, you want to continue this interview at a titty bar and he's like, okay. So he goes to this titty bar with Billy Gibbons and he's sitting there and he's so nervous, you know, just like you would be hanging with Paul McCartney or something. And like,

Billy Gibbons reaches over and goes, what kind of tit is you like? And the guy didn't have any answer. He was like, he could have said anything, but he just like froze up because it was Billy Gibbons. But what do you do? What do you do in Billy Gibbons? Ask your fucking questions. I'm not sure who he is. See, that's what I'm talking about. You might have to run around. Where's the stick? Let's start hitting them right now. Were you getting to music in Houston? Not really. I got into music in Austin more so. And I did a lot of theater and we did these punk rock plays. And then when you go to Austin for college, they kind of give you a guitar as you cross into the city limits. So you pick it up and you learn rock and roll, but it's too hard. And

you learn that country's a hell of a lot easier. And that's the stuff I was listening to my parents were listening to all growing up. So it's easier stuff to play and easier to accompany yourself. So you just kind of move into that, I guess. Yeah, exactly. I used to play punk rock, which is the same as country. It's just the same stuff. But did you really study punk rock? Pretty much. Yeah. Come on. Well, little I was metal. And then I kind of like, what kind of metal? Like Iron Maiden and Judas Priest. Come on. Yeah, that was like, I'm a jam when I was like in fifth or sixth grade. And then it moved into like rat child, the first two hours of Tony Deanna. Well, I came in and route with like number of the beast. Okay. And then electric guy screaming for

vengeance screaming for the helmet. And then I kind of went backwards and then got into like green male lynching and all that. How good is that shit? It's still great. How great is the Judas Priest live? Do you like that title? I like some Iron Maiden every now and then. But yeah, I like when it's on the radio, but I never went too deep into it. Judas Priest, I think was my band for that stuff. But then I immediately got into and I couldn't play it. That was another problem. So then I kind of got into like REM and U2 and the Smiths and that stuff. It was amazing. I didn't know who the fuck Judas Priest was. I had no idea. I like Black Sabbath. Black Sabbath, of course. You know, I grew up 15 minutes from Madison Square Garden,

so it was 15 bucks and under $7. You sat in those bleeds and you ran down. I went to see Yes every year. I went to see all these bands at some point. Yeah, Yes was great back then. I went to see Yes so many times that towards the end, we started moving backwards. Like it was just a horror show. And these were the days where the economy or something was different because when Yes came to town, they did four nights at the garden, three nights at the National Coliseum, two nights in Asbury Park, which is basically, you know, 10 nights in the same area, if you really. So that means it was booming. So I remember the first time I even heard of Judas. I never even knew any of his songs and I was in a detention type class. We have to sit there from three to four and some

kid goes, you ever hear this on the East and East? Yeah. And I was like, Jesus Christ, really? You know, I brought it home and it fucking killed me. It just killed me. And I was like, where the fuck are these guys from? He goes, Saturday night, they're playing at the Palladium. Going to see somebody at the Palladium was like going to Lemley. It's like going to Lemley fucking Theater. And I go, how much are the tickets? Like $12.50. And I had nobody to go with. Like everybody chickened out. I mean, I had nobody walk to like this music store and things from England that was going on Northern New Jersey. And they would sell you like every album, but the Australian version imports and imports. Yeah, it's still there. The store is still fucked up. And I'm the

only idiot that went and bought and it was the coldest night ever. And I had to take a bus from Boulevard East to the city and walk to the Palladium and take a train. And when I got there, it was just, it was, he came out with a fucking whip. And that's the first time I realized he was gay, but I wasn't going to say nothing. I didn't give a fuck if he was gay. I didn't give a fuck. He came out with a whip and then they came out with motorcycles at the end. And he came out with a motorcycle on a fucking whip and people going nuts. And I'm like, look at the savagery. And I had no drugs. I had to maybe smoke the joint by myself. And I remember I walked home like I was so blown apart by Judas Priest, because it was a small place. And that was November 29th, 1979.

I was a sophomore in high school. And then they came back that June, and they did five nights at the Palladium. And I went all five nights for British Steel. I was going to kill myself, like by nightfall. British Steel is a great album. He's a great shit. You know, I was very fortunate. You know, I got to see all those type bands growing up. For 15 bucks. All right. 12, 15. 12, 15. Okay, let's pretend you bought a ticket to go see the Knicks on Tuesday night with Dad.

On the way out, you go, Dad, can I have the tickets to save them? Oh, yes, son. Fuck you. You cut those things. They're going to, first of all, they're going to take a ticket and basically rip it in half and give it to you. That's your momentum is, you know, they'll say row 15, aisle six, seat number four. You do is, let's say it's a good ticket. Let's say it's a red ticket to the garden. You don't give a fuck. You come back the next week with that rip stub and you put a finstler rule into that motherfucker and the old man. And now I'm showing up with 10 deep. So he's counting 10 motherfuckers thinking this is 50 yards. This is 50 bucks, right? I don't give a fuck. He would, you just stub your way in. That's called

stubbing your way in. You went upstairs and you mind your business. If there were seats down below, you walk down there like a gentleman, but it was not. You didn't sit in nobody's seat. You didn't cause no fucking stairs. And we used to get, I want to see Michael Jackson on a fucking stub. I want to see the sixes against the New York Knicks Christmas day with a fucking stub. How old school am I? Sorry about the earthquake. Why not? I think it would be better to see it. Having done that, you're in. Now they scan everything. No, no, no. Digital age. Now they got you. Now they got you. I want to see Tom Petty. I want to see some great music growing up. What was the first concert you ever saw? Yeah, what'd you go see?

Billy Idol. Damn. At Astor World. How about you, my brother? The first concert I saw was Casey and the Sunshine Band at the Houston Livestock Show in rodeo. Can you believe that? How about you, Lisa? I have a stupid one. Well, it can't be worse than Casey and the Sunshine fucking Band. I think it might be. My dad got tickets from work and he took like my mom, my brother, and we went and saw Janet Jackson at the Fleet Center. But what do you guys think? Because I like music, but it's not a huge part of my life. Whenever I end up going to a concert or even like a musical, it's not always like the best audio wise. Sometimes it isn't a great experience. Like what do you guys think? Do you enjoy that more? Do you enjoy listening to an

album? Because sometimes you can't even hear what they're saying. Do you enjoy the music more? Is it different? If a performer is a good live performer, yeah, I prefer that. I mean, the Grateful Dead sounds like shit. There's studio records. But I've been to a few Grateful Dead shows and it's a completely different thing. I mean, it's like, I don't know why all these hippies are dancing like weird, dreadlocked white people. But once you get there, you can't help but do it too. It's just it's there, you know. Yeah, I definitely like the spectacle. Even if it's bad, I like the spectacle, whatever it is, if it's good or bad. I love the live performance, guys. I love the live performance. And you know what? Guess what? I'm the type of guy,

even as a young man, I knew something fucked up was going to happen. Let's just recover from there and let's rock it from that point. I want to see Aerosmith as a young man. And they were possibly the worst live concert I had ever gone to sing. Really? Whether they were high, the sound was bad, the guy couldn't fucking sing. You know, I saw him in 77. They were done. Two or three years after rocks, they were fucking done. And then they all broke up. And then I went to see, and then I got suckered again. I went to see the Joe Perry Project open up for heart at the Radio City Music Hall. Oh, God, talk about bad music. And then I got suckered again. I went to see Aerosmith at the Soap Factory, which is possibly the federal at Stacks Mall as the federal,

fucking Aerosmith at the federal with the singer. And there were three, two people left. Because one guy left with Ted Nugent's guy, Scott St. Holmes, and they went and formed the band. Nobody remembers that shit. That's what Scott St. Holmes went. That's why he didn't fire the stranglehold. What do you think happened to Ted Nugent? He stopped singing. That was fucking what's his name. And then he left with him and somebody else left. And that was the end of Aerosmith. And I remember that he came out and he threw a joint at somebody and somebody grabbed them and punched them. And he had to run off the stage at the Soap Factory. That was it. Then they came back with this walk this way and everybody was happy and jumping up and down. And they're back on iTunes.

Yeah, lightning strikes. Wasn't that an Aerosmith, their first video? Oh, brutal. Yeah, brutal. Yeah, but they really came back when they really came when Run DMC did walk this way. Run DMC saves everybody. Jesus Christ. I'm kind of interested and it's a little bit off topic. But for fans of podcasts, we kind of like have figured out like the comedy business, like you start open mic, then you'll like you'll host a show, you'll be a future headliner. Like how does that process work for people in bands? Like because it's there's comedy clubs and there's going to be a new comic that I don't know do you towards just bars? Like what's that like? Well, we've been doing this just as kind of friends getting together. And I guess we're getting people are coming out. So

we've kind of plateaued the level that we're comfortable out. We're not taking the show on the road. Mainly I mean, I work as an actor. Mainly I've been working on a television show for the last seven years. So we haven't been able to tour and I don't want to be one of those actors that has a fucking band, because I don't want to see Kevin Bacon's band or Russell Crowe's band or anything like that. I'm sure they're great. I just I'm not going to care. Kevin Costner's man. Can you imagine going to sit through that Dennis Quaid as a band, Dennis Quaid, fucking Billy Bob Thornton. Does he have a band? No, but fuck. He's playing drums for the Beach Boys right now. John Stamos is okay. Stamos gets a pass. Who's the best actor, musician, actor first, then musician?

First. It would be... What about Steve Martin? Oh, he's there. How's his banjo? Yeah, but that's he was that was part of his comedy act before he became a big movie star. But now he's a Grammy winning bluegrass guy. Yeah, and he can really play that banjo. Who would be the best though? I think probably Billy Bob, right? I don't know. I heard his stuff. It bothered me. It pissed me off when you went to it. The fucking guy from Baywatch, Hasselhoff. He's big in Germany. He's singing. He's fucking playing the drums. He's doing solos. He's like John Bonov. My friend said that hate crimes and David Hasselhoff are connected because in Germany, when they started having hate crimes, it was when David Hasselhoff was coming out.

So I don't know, connection? Fucking poor David Hasselhoff. He's at home right now counting 20s. I wish I had his hair. He's counting the fucking 20s from now to the end of time. So you guys play every weekend? I mean, the process that Lee was looking for is it's truly sometimes there's a when you start in Michigan, you'll go to a comedy club one night and there's a guy up there destroying the place. Destroying the fucking place. And you're like, Jesus Christ, who is this guy? You know, I've been doing comedy for 15 years. I come in, I've never heard of him. And he gets off the stage and you go back there and you're like, hey man, Joey Diaz living in LA. That was tremendous, man. How come I never heard you?

And you guys are like, I got four kids. My wife's a teacher, my family's here. I fucking hate this son. And you're like, have you ever considered going to LA? And he's like, for what? I got four kids. I'm content with who I am. And you leave there blown away. But then after you think about it, you know, that guy is happier than I am. Yeah. You know, he knows who the fuck he is. He's fine with it. He knows this is what it is. It's a weekend gig fan. And there's a guy, particularly in Chicago, Mike Toomey. That's a guy that's a killer. So much as a killer that one night, Kenison was coming into a club and they told him, as soon as Sam walks in, you have to get off. And Sam walked in and he kept seeing Sam. And he kept saying, when is he going to give me

the light? And when he got off, Sam offered him. He goes, I've never seen nothing like that. A guy killed clean. He kills, he destroys clean. I mean, fucking destroys, like just boom, like brimades go off. Now he works for a radio station. He's old. I'm 51. He's got to be 54 or you know, but he was comfortable. And that's always great to see. That's the other side of music. You know, I know that you do your martial arts. You do, you know, you do 19 fucking things, don't you? You fucking consult on a show. You're in the Navy. You fucking search people at the airport. This guy's a savage. He goes to jujitsu. You know, I mean, so sometimes people know where they, that's it. And that's a great place to be. Before podcasting, I swear to God, guys, listen,

I love, when I came out, I just wanted to stand up calmly. But then your manager says, hey, man, there's these movies. You want to do some movies and you go to these auditions and shit. And after a while again, even with acting, you see it for what it is, you know what you want to do. And sometimes people call you up and you're like, I'm not going downtown at 4.15 in the afternoon. I'm comfortable. That's not going to change my life. I already got level two insurance. I'm good to go till July. You know, I mean, and that's, you know, there's people that you see, you ever go out and you see people that are open-nosed, like they're fucking noses are open. And they're like fucking foaming from the mouth. Like I'm going to be a fucking star. And you see them on

Facebook and they do this shit. And after a while, you're like, really? All this at the end for what? For what? You're going all out, killing yourself for what? I remember fucking moving here and wanting to do everything. People would call you and you'd yes them and now you're there at two in the morning sitting on the fucking back of a car with tomato juice on your fucking face, waiting for the bar to close because that's the only way they could shoot the scene. And then you get to the fucking, the premiere they're going to have is at Club 716 on Sunset, where you got to bring your own fucking popcorn. It's not even a real Hollywood premiere. And they got some posts up with pictures from stuff. It's fucking embarrassing.

Like you're going to stay at home. It's not how many Puerto Ricans you shoot. It's who you're fucking shoot, Lee. Look at the size of Lee. Look at the size of your eyeballs. They're done. You got to stop getting high, Lee. That's what I said. So that's, I love that. I love that concept. No, it's not. This is a hobby. Like this is like just two guys now. How many people are there? I'm sorry. At full strength, there's 12 of us. Oh, shit. It's a collective. So you guys take the envelope at the end of the night, chop it up 12 ways. No, we can't everybody at Christmas time. Do you really at Christmas time? We hold up the money. Yeah. Good for you. Everybody gets a few hundred bucks at Christmas time.

Yeah. And what we can say about the band is for the most part, no one puts any money out to be in the band. If you've ever been in bands before, it's you're always putting money out. Yeah. Now, how did the idea come about like this? It just guys get together. Me and a couple of buddies, we used to meet at this Cajun restaurant. They called it a Cajun restaurant. The food wasn't that good, but they had an upright piano in the back and they give us a beer special and we could smoke cigarettes and bring our instruments around the piano. We had a piano player and guitar player as a banjo. Guy plays a wash tub bass in our band. He's made a bass with one string out of a wash tub. And so we just started playing at that place and we kind

of kept them alive for a few more months. And then they closed down. So we found another place. So we just kind of moved around with the basis being we were looking for places that kind of had southern food because we're all southern boys. And we were just looking places in LA where we could meet once a week and drink and play and have our friends come out. And we started getting better. And then so we started playing some clubs and venues. Now the federal likes us and we love being there. It's a great sound system. They're really nice to us. They feed us. They pay us. We get to take part of the door and we get a few drinks. Yeah. Thursday house band I guess you could say at Villains Tavern for like three years.

Yeah. It's this downtown place. It's the bar's done now. I don't want to speak out against them because they started being nice to us again. But I'm tired of them waiting 25 minutes to get a drink because they're mashing some hipsters, blueberries. I just want an IPA for God's sake. Yeah. They're serving a mason jar. It's amazing what you go through. And it's amazing what you start saying no to and yes to. Yeah. You know, it's amazing what you start saying yes to and no to because you know what you could tolerate after a while. Yeah. You know, you know what you could no. It's the same with common. I could never imagine being in a band where guns and roses, five guys, they all have to agree on the same thing every fucking day of the week. That's never

going to happen. And that's why, you know, that's never going to fucking happen. But you guys, people come and go and know it's the same 12 guys. It's been pretty much the same. We just haven't fired anybody. If somebody wants to go, they can. Yeah. But yeah. If someone can't make it, we still play. We still got enough people. We have a backup. We can't do it without our drummer. It's hard to do without the drummer. And how many nights a week do you rehearse? We don't rehearse. You don't rehearse. You don't rehearse. You don't rehearse. We play for three hours each gig. We're like the P funk of country music. We just you can't get us off stage basically. And now you guys ever go to Austin perform? Haven't yet. We have a couple of invitations.

Like I said, I've been working on a television show. And now that that shows over, it was called True Blood. And now that that shows over, I have all this time on my hands. It's over. It's over. Yeah, there's a few more episodes left. But I mean, I certainly like to jump into another television show. How was it working on True Blood? It was great, man. It was a great job. I got some I mean, it's really popular. I'm just not into I'm scared of fucking vampires. I didn't care about it. When I started, and I still vampire is not my favorite type of fiction to read or anything like that. But I didn't play a vampire. I played a veteran with PTSD. And that's kind of how Nick and I got a little bit closer because Nick's

it was in the Navy. And he knows it's martial arts. And I don't know how to fight at all. And I came to him and I said, Hey, Nick, can you toughen me up? At least maybe look like I know how to fight. And he would help me and teach me how to move a little bit better. Next, you've done a variety of martial arts. What did you what did you start first? Karate up at the front of the subdivision, you know, where I grew up, they were giving away like Chinese stars, if you signed up or like a rubber chucks or something. So I started there. And it was actually pretty cool because my instructor was pretty open minded. He did Kung Fu and karate and Japanese jiu-jitsu. So he's kind of like back then it was kind of a mixed martial

arts. So not like we think of today. But then this Filipino guy came through and did a couple of them did a demo at one of the karate tournaments. And they had a real knife and they're trying to stab each other with it. And they would do these demos with it. And I just was blown away because you grew up here. This was in Houston, actually. Okay. Around 1980. Wow. Filipinos. Yeah. In Houston in 1980. I know. The stats are amazing. Well, they call them Mexicans, but right. They just mingled. Yeah, exactly. But we're actually a big Vietnamese community in Houston. There's a huge Vietnamese. Yeah. And so I was hooked. I was still doing the karate, but they would you know, like one night a week or something. They do Filipino stuff. And I just loved it. I would

drive all over Texas because there wasn't the internet back then where you could just YouTube everything. I heard of a guy in San Antonio. So I drive to San Antonio as a guy in Austin. I drive to Austin and I tried to pick it up. Then I came to California and it was just rampant. And I'm pretty happy here. And you said Chinese stars because I had a couple as a kid. Yeah. I never knew what to do. I tried to stick them in a tree. And so what is the practical application of a Chinese star? You throw it at your adversary? Yeah, like, it would be like, I suppose they have poison and they're quiet. I think they're also called shurikens or shurikans or whatever you want to call it. Just carry them right? Yeah, right. Wait night and that's a carry on.

Did you ever get one sharpened until it didn't fucking work? No, it didn't. Those fucking things never stuck in the wall. I had a thousand of them. I used to throw them at everything. The tiny bear everybody was getting fucking stabbed. Nothing ever happened with those things. I always ended up in the neighbor's yard and I'm like, Oh God, when they mow the lawn, it's going to be bad. Because they sell them to you, but then you had to take them to a hardware store. They get fucked. And the guy would look at you weird. You know, you had a good relationship with the guy. You wouldn't have had twice a year for glue and paint. And now fucking, you know, it's really amazing how martial arts, if you joined it early, you became this martial arts nerd because I was.

And every time I, and when I dropped out was when I went back and I'll say that for years. As soon as I quit, I quit in February by March. I started smoking heavy. I would get high, but not when I was hanging out with the karate kids. When I was with the karate kids, we were looking at geese, you know, we were looking at demonstrations. We were going bulldog other schools. What's up, bitch? What's up, bitch? Dojo bashing? Dojo bashing. It was just, you know, it was just a different time. And then you meet a Burger King and fucking fight it out. Those sidekicks and the teachers would get together. It was fucking silly, but it was, that's what it was, you know. Now everybody wants to fucking stab or each other. Have they found war machine yet?

No, but dog, the bounty hunters looking for them. Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. I just read it on the internet today. He called him out and told him you have four hours to surrender. I read the statement and I gotta say it was very fucking disturbing, man. It was, but you know what? We weren't there and we don't know what the fuck could have happened. You know, the guy was dressed and they happened for seven charges. I did see that, but I looked at the charges and those charges were light track. I read it a different way. If he took them in the shower, it's against the will. That's kidnapping. That's kidnapping. Okay. Sexual assault. Sexual assault. If he cut a hair, I mean, there's some fucking heavy duty charges there. I'm just telling you from a long order

experience and from a few personal experiences of my own that when you take somebody from one dwelling into the other, it's kidnapping. Okay. It just ain't cool. I was reading that and I was like, Oh no, when you're reading your neck hair stick out. But I was like, what is he going through? What is he going through right now? Because he's not like from in his mind. I can't, he's not going to get away. Like what is someone like that when you know they're coming after you? What is he going through? Look, he's got a fucking grenade on his neck. Okay. So let's say he puts makeup on that because that's what I thought of. Oh yeah. What would I do if he was, if I was him? So let's say somebody said that he's in Canada. Yeah. He couldn't have been in Canada already. If he got in the car

Friday in Las Vegas, when does he make it to Canada? Sunday night, maybe Monday morning gentlemen. You have to go Mexico, don't you think? Do they check you going into Mexico now? Yeah. They check it. Yeah. So let's say he left Vegas at five in the fucking morning. Where would he go? Would he go fucking south to Mexico? Where the fuck would he go? He's in a panic. He's in a panic. He's in a panic. He's got to stop and get money, close. That's, that's an hour. And he's got that time the cops have already been there. He's got to get a lot of cash. He's probably got to, if he knows enough to get rid of his credit cards and because any transaction can be traced. Yeah. Don't catch him. I don't know. He's tweeting.

Once you go, the phone gets stepped on. That goes under a lake. Boom. That's it. There's no communication. Yeah. That phone gets shut off. Then they pick up his car. God knows. I mean, I can't imagine being him right now and feeling what he's feeling and the remorse he's feeling. Mix that, whatever, make some act that way and the anger and guys, you know, you see this ending of bad. Well, this guy had a history of assault, right? He had a history of just fucking being a lunatic. Yeah. You know, he's pretty juiced up from most descriptions. Well, and it just happened like a week or two ago with the guy in Boston who like being on his wife and then trains his dog to bite his wife. Another ex UFC guy. That's crazy. Not good for the sport. That stuff happens.

Yeah. I mean, there are many individuals. Well, there's been boxers that have bit their opponents either. Sure. I mean, no. He made him quite a comeback. You know, that people were mad because of John Jones and Cormier having that little tussle. I thought that was awesome. That happened in boxing for years. Yeah. It happens in boxing for years. Two guys hate each other. They cross the line. I mean, I read that that Durand book how he insulted Sugar Ray's wife. That's how come he beat him. He told him his wife was a bitch and he's gonna fuck on the ass and Sugar Ray nearly melted, you know, but it's just today I was like, what the fuck is this? Because I didn't know dog the bounty on the was on him. I mean, what is this guy thinking right now? I mean,

I've been in that situation with people looking for you. What the fuck are you thinking? Yeah. Does he get made up? Does he turn himself in? He turns himself in guys. He's doing it was all violent. So they give him 18. He's got to do 17 and three fucking quarters. And I hear in Vegas, they don't fuck around. That's what I hear. I don't know how serious they are. I know they give you time for weed and so for tying a bitch up and putting them in the fucking shower when cutting the hair off. That's got to be 10 years right there. That's without the fucking 18 bones broken. It's just a horrible thing. You know what I don't even get out of the dude's face. Did you read that? No, she was with no. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. I mean, this is this is

just all speculation. This is just stuff I'm reading. But yeah, you know, and he was a former reality show contestant or something. It's just a it's just a bad energy to be involved around for some people who highly volatile like that, you know, you know, who the fuck knows what happened what really happened when he got there. You know, but our prayers from the church are with him. What are you gonna do? We say at least saying only that my prayers are with your fucking eyeballs. Look at them. What are you gonna do when you go home? Mom was waiting for you. What are you gonna do? How are you gonna act with your fucking red shirt and your red eyeballs? Like a big stop sign, you fuck. That's why I love you. Look at you. Yeah. Now we wanted to we're big fans of music, man.

You know, music is part of the thing here. The problem is YouTube cuts your fucking music off and shit. So the podcast will keep it. So that's the problem. I wish people would just let us play their music because it just makes sense. You know, I would want. Didn't you bring a CD? Did you? Yeah. We own it. At least the first four tracks. It's us. Do you sell these two? Yeah, give them away. It's hard to sell music. This is it. This industry went. It's amazing how it's changed in 20. It's amazing that when I got to LA, I would go to that mall and get a coffee, and I'd walk into one by the lab factory. Yeah. What's that mall there? What's the name of that coffee place? Sunset Five. Sunset Five. What's that coffee place in there? It's been there since

Jesus left fucking Chicago. First time I went in there ever. Georgia, the jungle was in there. I almost had a heart attack. What's his name? Brendan Frazier. My second day. I got here Monday night, Tuesday. I was waiting online at the lab factory to do three minutes, and we switched to go get coffees in that place. The point being there was a record store in there, correct? There was a tower records. Tower records. Okay. How big was that? Just so people at home know how big was that motherfucker? Yeah, it was huge. But now Amoeba, which is in Hollywood now, not there on the strip, but that's an enormous record store. Yeah. For the music enthusiast, you walk into an Amoeba, it's like a fucking, it's like walking into gambling. It's like walking into Las Vegas,

if you're gambling. Like when I walk into Amoeba, I make sure I have like a little credit card, like the one that's got 340 on it, because you can't do that much damage. Because there's shit you find, like I saw an album, I was looking for this particular Cuban album. And I went on eBay and all that shit. They wanted a yardstick flat. The cheapest who had it was 90 bucks. I went to Amoeba, they had the CD for $15.99. Bam. I bought three of them just to go, just in case if I have to lose it again. They've got everything at fucking Amoeba. And they got one in San Francisco, a couple fucking places. But it's amazing that there were two big record chains. And the other one by Starbucks on the corner there, on the other side of Sunset.

There was a tower. Tower and there was something else on the other side. But they're gone. They're gone. They don't even remember anymore. They don't even, nothing, nothing. Like that's it. So the point being is that people aren't buying music no more. And now you have to tour like fucking savages to make, you know, and at the end, even if you sell 8,000 tickets, they still come to you, you're in the fucking red. By the way, insurance, hot dogs for the staff. Ooh, you sang one song too many. That puts everybody on triple overtime at $2,000 a fucking night. And next thing you know, you're like, what the, you're touring the fucking pay your label. And it's amazing when I don't know the people or the guy's name, but when I lived on

Sunset 1440, God or Ralphie May and Ricky Cruz and all those guys down there, there was a kid named Martin. And he was friends with, the kid would come over and he looked familiar. It was the kid who was banned, opened up for Rage Against the Machine on a big tour. And then I left. I go, that guy, we were talking about money and my friend's like, that guy can barely pay rent. Because they sing like four songs or something. And everything goes to the record label to pay the studio time. He's dying. And I was in shock. You're opening up for Rage Against the Fucking Machine and you're fucking broke. But you know, what are you gonna do? Things are bad all over. That's why, Lee, why are you looking at me like a fucking matador?

Well, he was saying, what's the like, the train of success for a band, like for a comic? It's kind of changed. Like when we first started playing music, when we were little, it was always like, get a record deal. If they could just see you or you make your demo and then you give it to someone and then they make your record better. Yeah. That's like what people used to do. So Tom Petty talking about that. Yeah. And then there was the, if you sell out like the club, like you're in Jersey and you just get five or, you know, 300 people to come every Friday night, the record company will find you. That was like one other sort of thing. Now you learn how to use the Pro Tools or whatever and you make your own record and you put it on and you can do that. That's an avenue now.

It's amazing what a band could do in two and a half years with social media today. Yeah. With no nothing, but this would cost a bad time and energy. Not a lot of money, but five guys that knew each other that was serious about something and they each had the same commitment, you know, to get together, you know, once a week to rehearse and after six months playing whatever. I don't know how the music business works, but what I'm trying to say is social media could really, because you just blast it on Facebook and Twitter, but at the same time you give them little pieces, your Twitter, the live performances, everything ties together, but it takes time. And people want to do it for four months and they go, this doesn't work. No,

you fuck. You got to keep doing it. You got to do it the same way every day. And people one day will pay attention and go, why is this fucking Todd Lowe keep fucking tweeting me this fucking goddamn song every fucking day? And he clicks it on one day, he's like, I dig this shit. Now they listen to two of your songs, but it takes time. And I think that the same way Twitter worked for comics, it would work in the music industry for that. But now a musician, you control everything. Joey, are you big on Twitter? Are you active? Yeah, I really like it. It's worked for me. Were you reluctant when it first started? Oh fuck yeah. Like you don't want to give your jokes away. I mean, you write, you think of something funny, you tweet it, does that go in the

ads? I've wondered how this works for comics. Here it is. So you fucking, okay, let's get out the elephant out of the fucking table. Robin Williams died on Monday. How long do you hear the first Robin Williams joke? Okay, so tomorrow night you turn on CNN or whatever the fuck TV show you watch and he says that joke or any other topical joke. Topical joke is something not about yourself, but of the dailies events. And it's hysterical. Sometimes you might see some of the six o'clock news. If you could work that bitch by 1045 at the Comedy Store, if there's 200 people, 1100, 100 of those watching fucking six o'clock news, they all watch the same clip. You already had the thing, you look like a fucking hero. How long is that bit gonna last you?

Two weeks. It's a throwaway bit. That's all Twitter is. It's a throwaway bit. I love these people that go, Hey, guess what? L.A. Hootenanny at the federal tweet me right now. The first five people get away five tickets. That's fucking great. But I didn't see no value in that fucking tweet. Give me a fucking song and give me a funny tweet. Hey, you Texas cocksuckers, listen to this, Texas. What the fuck? Boom. They hear whatever little country, a little Billy Ray, whatever the fuck they hear. Lorm with something else. You got them involved. People on Twitter want to be involved. I've been on Twitter at three in the morning. You're talking to people in fucking England. There you are. You got insomnia. You got nothing else to do. Twitter for me worked as a writing tool

for just something topical, man, something that just happened that your first reaction, your first real fucking reaction, because that's the only way you're going to get this to work. If you even you got to push the envelope a little bit and that's where it really comes to you. We're very nice people in this room. But when we see some, we see it on our twist. We don't repeat what we see. Those are our real fucking thoughts. Sometimes you got to put those in Twitter and 140 characters or less. And it works out late. Have is it not worked out? I've had, I've been banned from both of them. I haven't pictured my nutsack on Twitter for the longest fucking time. When I hit you with a message,

you got to picture your nutsack. But that's what social media is about. If I fuck every day, if I was a plumber right beyond Twitter, because it's 30% more business for you. I don't know exactly what the secret would be for music. But you saw me yourself. You give away L.A. Hootenanny, some of yourself, some you give away. You put five songs on here. In the 80s, they used to make EPs, Rat released an EP, Ozzy Osbourne released an EP, give away that road, and then some of the other four songs. It's an EP. I don't know. I don't fucking know. But there's got to be some way of ban. Listen to that. 20 years ago, everybody went to Motley Crue every 30, 40, 35 years ago, right? What was the formula then? You went to that place, you got a wig, you wore tight pants,

fly out the hell out of the city, you yelled and shit. You listen to Motley Crue and you're like, what the fuck is this? These guys really did saw this whole. Some of the music is great. The rest is a fucking singer. You're like, what the fuck am I listening to? But what was the pattern then? It changes. The same way it changes for a comedian. When I got here, you popped up on a TV show and you went on the road and people automatically came to see you. I got my first TV show. Guess how many people came to see me? Nobody. I got a mad TV. That's like one of the best comedy shows. People put on there from mad TV. Nobody came to see me. Then they go, you got to get a movie. I got a movie. Nobody came to fucking see me. It changes. What is the pattern now? How would a

musician make Twitter work for them? Or even a podcast? Well, you can't put music. We're not as clever as a comic. So we're not going to put little wittices. I mean, I don't know. Nick's fucking clever. He's clever. Nick's clever. Nick, put pictures of you hitting people in the head with sticks. People love that shit. We do try to put as much content on our Facebook page as possible just to let people know we're still out there. You know, I'll occasionally put just some, because a lot of us are actors in the band. And so if they're on a TV show that night, we'll put a little clip about it or something. But I think there's an LA who hitting any Twitter account. I never Twittered on my thing. I did it for a little bit, but I did Facebook. You might

later caught me tweeting with other girls. So it was like, I got to put kibosh on that. I don't know how to do the privacy and hide shit. So let me ask you something. So you recurred on True Blood? I was in the cast. You bad motherfucker. Yeah. You bite people in the neck? No. You were a fucking vet. Yeah, I was a vet. And my character died last season, but in this last season, there's ghosts and everything. Tremendous. Now, you taped it up at that farm up there. My buddy in this... Greer Ranch? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, because my buddy... I'm Calabasas. Yeah, his girlfriend, she's a comedy booker, and he runs the ranch or something. He's told me a couple of times if I wanted to come up, I figured Jason, something, I forget what

the fuck the name is. Yeah, I remember this guy, I think. I'm one of those little guy, I think his parents own it. Yes, okay, right, right, right. And then in the second season, we had this big tree that they made out of meat, because this crazy witch lady was taken over the town. And I think he had to sit out there with the 22 rifles and keep the coyotes on it. The meat tree? Fuck the meat tree, yeah. How many episodes did you have then? I guess about 60. And are you happy it's over? I mean, I like the paycheck. I don't get me wrong. And it was nice. And I'm hoping to find another TV show. But yeah, but the role fit me like a glove. And the people were very nice. I know it sounds cliche, but we felt familial. But they hired me the two stars, Anna Pakwin and

Steve Moyer, number one and two on the call sheet. They got married in the second season. So they hired me to play their wedding out in Malibu. So yeah, it's a close knit group of people. Your wife in the show? Yeah, we're pals. Yeah, we're pals. Yeah, she comes out to see us. Yeah, so I'm going to miss everybody. Everybody's going to go their separate ways. But I made contacts that I'll know for the rest of my life, fingers crossed. I love the diversity here. I love that. You know, you play music, but you know, you act, but your outlet is your music, which is fucking beautiful. I mean, I wish people knew that that life exists. That's just a dream life. It's a dream life. It's a dream life right

now until the money dries up. And even have just to be able to do it, just to be able to have the opportunity to go do what you really love on somebody else's nickel, you know, while you're doing something. And on your other hand, you know, I like you. You're a bad motherfucker. You're a great martial artist. You know, your great jiu-jitsu guy, you taught me a lot how to breathe. You fucking taught me moves and shit. You know, you're in a whole of fame. Yeah, you just got inducted. You're in the Navy. I mean, the fucking Navy. Yeah, that was a pretty trippy one. And you're out now? No, no, I'm in. I'm a public affairs officer. I'm a reservist. My dad was a Navy pilot. So I was always groomed to be in the Navy, be a pilot.

And then my eyes went bad or something when I was a little kid, but Do you wear corrective lenses? No, I got Lasik. Oh, you got Lasik? Yeah. Like 10 years ago, it still works. But I was always supposed to be in the Navy. And my dad was an airline pilot, too. So planes were like, we were all about planes. But I just kind of fell back into the my parents were real supportive. I just fell into the arts, martial arts, movie making, music. And I just eventually went on this Hollywood tour of the Navy that the public affairs department in the Navy does. And he was like, I was like, I always thought I'd be in the Navy, but I'm too old. And he goes, Well, there's this program that, you know, you have a lot of

media experience. They kind of put you in the Navy. And so I went in as a, I got a commission as an officer. And public affairs ever since. And you still do tournaments, you teach it? How many nights a week you teach over? I do Monday nights. And our colleague program goes Wednesday and Thursday. But I just teach Mondays. And then I teach, I have like my backyard group, I teach on Saturdays, we get to eat each other more and curse more and stuff. So that's kind of my out in the park called picnic style, shoot the shit a little bit, you know, swing some sticks, tell lies, swing some more sticks, it's real laid back. I'm not gonna lie to you guys, man. When I got into comedy, I just got out of prison. And I was married to a little girl. And I was a roofer. And I

became an estimator for the company. And I was very content. I never, never dreamt about being in LA. I never even, not even, it never even crossed my fucking mind. I would read about egg bees. And are you from here? I don't know if you're from... Well, no, I know a little bit. I would read about egg bees in the comedy store in Pasadena, the ice house. And I would like tears to come to mind that I would never have the opportunity. I would never be fucking good. I'm sure you said this on your show before, but I've just met you. But where did you first go up? Where was your first set? At the Comedy Works in Denver. That was my first set. Were you living in Denver? I was living in Boulder. I was going to school in Boulder and I got

pants for drugs and the shit. And I came out, you know, I was always like the guy in the corner on the bus, we're always talking shit. And then, but I'm not gonna lie to people at home or Leah, you guys, when I got into this, I always thought I would have a day job. And this would be Tuesday here, Thursday here, Saturday here. If I was lucky enough, maybe somebody come to town and shoot a movie, if I could be an extra, I would be very happy. And then this just moved so fucking quickly. Once I got into this, it was just one thing led to the other. And all of a sudden people like, why do you even have a day job? And one minute you're in Seattle, one minute you're in a car to the laugh factory, the next minute you're back in the car and you're

living on sunset, you know, fucking Toyota, you know, and taking showers at Ralphie May's house and doing spots at the store and going on the road. And it just you end up here with a beautiful thing. Same thing with like movies and TV. It's amazing. I never, ever thought I would ever get a role on anything. I never thought I was good enough or I could act. And I went to an NYPD blue audition and a t-shirt with a whistle on. I kept going through Fox and somebody popped out as I was walking. It was Libby, Libby Jordan, Libby Johnson, and she goes, are you here for an audition? I guess. Libby Goldstein? She works with. She did True Blood. I don't know if that's it. The one during an office, like with two other a guy and a chick or something like that. Junee

Johnson. Yes, that office. Yes. So I see her and she goes, are you here for the audition? Yeah. She comes up, oh my, read it. Read it again. Okay. Thank you. I'm living in a fucking hotel on Schrader. He is the hostel now. I'm living in a hotel on Schrader. It's $40 a night. I'm doing blow upstairs after the comedy store. I have rubber furniture in my room. I have those little fucking towels with like cigarette burns in them and shit. And all of a sudden the idea is phone call when I go down and it's my manager. It's like you book basketball. You got three weeks on basketball for $5,500 a week. That's such a good call. I'd never heard anything like that in my life. And I kept saying, $5,500 what? What the fuck are

you saying? He's like, they're going to give you $5,500 a week. Plus a per diem. Fuck for three weeks per diem. And he's like, I got you a medium trailer. What are you saying? What fucking trailer are you talking about? What? What? And he goes, but you got a joint sag. It's $1250. And you didn't have it? I was minus $18,000. Would he lend it to you? Did you ask him? Because I asked mine and they wouldn't get it. The last day of the production company wrote the check and said, we'll take it out. And they never took it out. You ask me no questions. I'll tell you no lies. So sag was on the yarn, $1250. Yesterday I'm walking the baby in the cart and I see a guy from the neighborhood. He's walking his little chihuahua, a nice little Spanish guy. We start talking. I watched him with

the dog for like three years. And we're talking. And he goes, he goes, can I ask you a personal question? He goes, how much did it cost you to join sag? $1250. He goes, those fucking thieves, they want $3,000. Yeah. $3,000 to become a fucking, and for what? Then you have to pay for your health insurance now. Yeah. Three bills a month, whether it's a three hundred a quarter. It's still reasonable. No, it's reasonable. But it used to be free seven years ago. Yeah, it was free. Oh my God. It's things to fucking change. At least say, I look at you. Leasing a thing, leasing a fucking plateau. He's burning 800 calories a day. He hasn't fucking gone to the bathroom in a week. When I was a sophomore in high school, I didn't go to the bathroom for a fucking like three days.

We were on a bus from East Orange, New Jersey, Northbury with a bunch of chilies. I dropped the fart. It was the worst thing I ever smelled. My life girls are crying. It was fucking classic. They kept blaming on the bus driver. Fuck it. Well, you got to go, you got to go extreme measures. Fuck it. You got to go to CVS and go to the pharmacist, pull them a sign, go listen. I've been eating hummus for fucking 18 years. Drink some coffee. Drink half a bottle of whiskey tonight. You'll be fine tomorrow. Yeah, half a pack of cigarettes. And you sit there for a little while, wiggle the muffler, push, but don't push too hard. That's what killed Elvis. Yeah. Just push, maintain, say, relax or something. Yeah, man. You got to relax. How the fuck don't you go to the bathroom?

You know what? You don't need cereal. You don't do nothing. You don't need lettuce. What? You kill me. That's why. I need a green. I just went 51 years old. I went, they stuck the fucking camera of my asshole. They took pictures. I got the pictures at the house. You got to see the tubes. I'm going to see that fucking hummus. Nothing. And they gave me the whole picture. From, let's say that's the asshole. They show the camera go right up tight, tight little fucking muffler and even had that fucking twist to it at the end. And then they pop it open. They don't know how to pop it open. It's like they see my asshole, then they're in my ass. They don't show the fingers, nothing. They fucking smart those motherfuckers. They know I got you attorneys.

They fucking, then they show the whole thing, leave the intestines, the whole thing. I had four little fucking marks. You don't want that. And the guy said, you look fucking tremendous. Keep doing what you're doing. I try to fuck. You got to eat the lettuce. I eat lettuce. I love this tonight. When you go, how much lettuce? You have like two pieces of fucking lettuce. How big was the salad? It was a salad wrap. What was in it? What else is in it? It was just a Caesar salad one. Why are you born? What kind of, what kind of meat? Uh, chicken. Chicken. What kind of chicken? Charbroil. Right. Charbroil. They probably got that frozen shit from Rouse. You know how many chemicals that got in? They all bond together. You got to get together. Talk to him. Talk to him.

I don't know. I'm an alcoholic, man. I just drink it all up. God bless you, though. As long as you don't get help, don't become one of those pussies that taps up. If you're an alcoholic, you keep going at this point. You did seven years on the show. You deserve it. Let me give some fucking shout outs here. We got shit to do with people to see. Are you going to play that CD? We're going to, no. I'm not going to play a CD. You guys are going to play some music. Don't go nowhere. I'm going to. Nick, take a look at the girl's picture there. All right. Rod Child. I love you. Berge. We love the fucking, you know what I'm talking about. Toke. Surveillance 702 Always. Waterboxer. Get it together, Coxucker. Amanda Salgado. Jason Segarz. Antonio Martinez.

Dan Pazzini and Jake Ryan. I love you, Coxuckers. Thank you for being part of the church over taping. Now, you know what? I always try to give people shout outs. You got to make people's daily. You're fucking mummified over there. What's the problem, Lee? There's no problem. You're sitting there like a, you know, he's not going to be able to get back in. He's not going to be able to get back in. He's going to be fine. And who are you texting, dawg? What the fuck? What the fuck? You're over there trying to text the girl with a fucking map. They're going to charge you $800. Maybe I get you 10% off. Speaking of 10% off. Onit.com. Fuck it. Today, I got a box of, I got two boxes of Strongbow. After my surgery, they already sent me to me. I got a little thing of fucking whatever

I popped it today before Higgin Machado's fucking class. From TechSport. From TechSport. And I fucking lasted. Me and the kid did some like fucking sparring. I did the class, and we did more fucking sparring than this brown belt took me and fucked me up. He wasn't nice like you. He fucked me up. My, he fucking did some shit. Really? That was high level. You know, we get beat up, but you're like impressed with the beating. You're like, God damn, he fucking beat me up. Good. Like it takes a man sometimes. That's why you learn. You're absolutely right. Sometimes that's why it's tough for a lot of people to go to jujitsu. I know that a lot of people can't take the tap. Me, I don't give a fuck about that. I want to learn. It's a lot of trust though too.

You guys got this armor on your neck. If he decides to keep it on, he's a lot better than you. That's rough. And sometimes your arms get stuck and shit. You don't, you know, I always try to position myself as he's going and block one and keep that tap hand open. Oh yeah, I keep that tap hand right fucking there. Anyway, you won't need that fucking tap hat. If you go with honor.com, you understand, you will never fucking tap with the heck protein. I'm telling you right now, the chocolate, the acai vanilla, I fucking love it. Superb. You know, I truly believe in these people. Like I said, this is not just a supplement. This is optimization as they fucking say. It's a different level for your body, for your mind, for your soul. It's like hitting somebody with

the fucking sticks on the head. Number two, I want to give a shout out to my main people, naturebox.com. You motherfuckers are always throwing heat in my heart. You understand me always. I got to start doubling up on you people because the fucking snacks are delicious. I'm getting slimmer. You know why? Because the nutrition is to prove. And I only eat like a fucking savage. I open up the bag. They're zip bags. So when you get naturebox.com, you don't have to eat the whole fucking thing. Like when you buy chips, you got to fucking open up the chips, eat them, but then you feel guilty because you got to put that butterfly thing in. You know, Roach is going to get in the middle of the night and it's going to fuck up your chips. So you say,

we know what? Fuck that. I'm going to eat all the chips because I'm going to get mine. You know what I'm saying? Fuck it. Not with naturebox. Naturebox comes with a receivable seal. Trust me on telling you, these snacks are fucking world-class. I wouldn't be sitting here fucking dropping knowledge on New York surface. Nutritionists are proved they're healthy. Most importantly, they fucking taste good. Look at these people blowing their nose in the hallway. People are doing blow. What kind of office is it? You got me in, Lee. Go to naturesbox.com. Go to the box, press in Joey. Joey, Joey. Why get 50% off your first order? Tell me. You get 50% off, man. What the fuck you said? That's half off. It's your 50% off. That's your fault. Tell nature's

box we sent you. So what do you do? You want to box and press Joey? Joey, naturebox.com. Joey, in the box, 50% off your first order. Why are you fucking confusing me, Lee? Also, my brother's up there, David and Peter, my main dogs up at nails at life.com. They got the fucking vapor pens. They got people out there beeping like fucking savages on Lancashire in the middle of the night. They got vapor pens. What else they got over there? They got t-shirts on the website. He wants to get nailed up. Gummies. Gummies. I don't think they can send the fucking gummies against the law. If the cops come, you're going to be like, jeez, you're on your fucking own. I'm not going to go to jail for you for saying gummies. And that's supposed to sell gummies

on the air, Lee. Get your shit together. Well, if you're in the area. Fucking vapor pens only. The best vapor pen on the market. Go to nail.life.com. Get 20% off. What are you pressing the box? You just mentioned Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz. Bang! And you get 20% off. And I want to re-welcome some of the best shit I've ever put on, because I've been using them for your jitsu. Me on these.com. Sensational. Let's face it. You know how old you're underwear are? Look at your fucking underwear. You know how long you usually keep your underwear? They did a fucking survey. Seven years. Seven years. You know what your underwear looked like after fucking seven years? It's skid mark. It's terrible. It's skid mark. Nuts wet on the side. Your buster, your elastic.

Where you had that white head on your ass. It pops. People know there's a little red dot on your ass. Either you got a needle or you got a little pimple on your muffler. You don't need that aggravation. That's why I like me on these. Plus, they work for jiu-jitsu. I fucking swear to God they don't come off. People don't have to put up with my hairy nut crack and the rash and my asshole. Who needs that aggravation? You're just going there to get somebody to fucking on bar. Go to me on these.com before September 1st and get 20% off. Look, take a look at the men's. Take a look at the women's thongs. Go to me on these.com. I'm not fucking around, which I got them on right now, but there's four dudes in the room. I take

my underwear out. I'm getting beat up with one of those fucking sticks. What's the code word for me? Just go to me on these.com slash joey and it has to be before September 1st. Before September 1st, get 20% off your first order and guess what? They send them right to your house. No more fucking stores. No more nothing. These things are fantastic. They don't have the pee hole. You get a little nut sack right there. It makes your nuts look fucking tremendous. Let's give you an extra protection if somebody kicks you with a fucking toe. Sometimes in a karate class, somebody thinks they're cute and they kick you with a free fucking toe to the nut sack. Who needs that aggravation? Go to me on these.com. Get your shit together. Now they're life.com nature's box

on it. Press what in the box? Church. Church. C-H-U-R-C-H, Lee. What the fucking thing you're dealing with? Joy Banas? What plans you got for the weekend? I know you got the wife up at the house. She's going back tomorrow. You're taking her back tomorrow. It's over. Yeah. What are you going to do after Thursday? You're going to sit there like a mope? No, no, she's going to come back Saturday. I don't know right now. What are you going to do tomorrow? What are you going to take away? Can I go see a movie or something? I don't even know what's out. What fucking movies are you going to go see? What are you going to make your own little sex movie? Tell me the truth. What? Have I what? Thought about making a sex movie. Oh god, no one wants to

see that. There's no good angle yet. There's always a good look at you. Wiggle Funk or Joy, give me a little wiggle. What? Stop it. With them is going to get you. Stop you fucking sexy cocksucker here. True blood. What's going on, baby? We're here. You ready to play some fucking music? What about you there? I don't sound like shit. No, man. You got to be fucking positive. I didn't impromptu. Impromptu. Just think of Alice in Chains on fucking when the guy was on heroin with no teeth. You think he rehearsed? You think he didn't go up there and prompt fucking too? That's true. Go up there. Show them what you got. You got teeth. Shane McGowan in 19th as well. Who else didn't have teeth in their fucking performances? Shane McGowan. He had one tooth,

I think. From the pokes? Nervila was almost done. You got to go up there and take a chance, Columbus did. You guys never know. I'm going to take that vote of confidence. Yeah, man. Oh, we also played the American Legion over in Hollywood, right next to the old Hollywood ball. That's a great building. You ever been in there? No, I don't know. Do they do comedy in there? They would. They have guests they would love to. I got married. I had my wedding party, one of the colleges. Oh, really? You know that guy? It's right by the Hollywood ball. Oh, those ones above it? When you're right in the front there, if you go down below, there's like a picnic area that's almost there. Whenever they have their parties in there,

my wife works for a Hollywood ball. Come on now. I thought you fucking knew it through the deep like that. How do you do that? Do you deal with some fucking novels from Fence Street or something? No. So, talking about this Hall of Fame shit, you won the Hall of Fame, you got in there with Bruce Lee. It's called the Masters Hall of Fame. Yeah, I was nominated and it was a pretty good group of Filipino martial artists and that was a big honor. It was a good time. But I have to say Joey Karate, one of my idols, we used to make sticks and watched Joey Karate on YouTube. That was amazing. That was a long time ago. I could throw some side kicks for Jesus. I still got flexibility. You got good kicks. Yeah,

yeah, I still fucking throw them at night. Just the stretch and get the blood in it. I love it man. I love all that stuff. And when I got away from the martial arts is when I really fucked up. Now that I've been back in it, little by little, especially Jiu-Jitsu. Jiu-Jitsu has got me baffled. I don't like things that baffle me. It's like I'm a pussy musician. Let's get this out of the way guys. I didn't have the patience or time to get a guitar and go to the third floor every week and sit with some guy for six months, then go on my own. It's my dream. Yeah, I got into this because once I heard the soreness the same, there ain't no turning back. I was at Gunther Brown's house. He had some chick there when we suck your dick on the toilet. He offered me a little

heroin. I was 16 and I swear to God, he put on no cord. I thought it was all over but the shopping. I joined pastoral music and I joined the bass program. I did that for about three months. I had the patience. That's my musician story, Lisa. Weren't you the flute guy in the band? No, I did. I played the violin in the first grade for one year. It was terrible. And then I tried to do it. I tried to learn a guitar but my fingers were too short. All right, good. That's it. That's all of it. All right, so man, is he going to play some fucking music? Yeah. Let's do it. Yeah. Let's jam this motherfucker out. Shit. What do you say? How are you doing? I'm really high. That's what you're supposed to be. It's Wednesday night. Okay. We ain't got

time to fuck around, Lisa. We used to have eight more people with us to back us up or to help us out, fill up the sound. How about a little music coming out of the church of what's happening now, the respect. We're going to switch it up people from time to time. Like I told you, we come out and do this. This is a mic check. How am I sounding? It's not a surprise. No, I could come out here and curse and talk about Lee and eating somebody's muffler. Who gives a fuck? You know, you got to switch it up from time to time with the music. I like it. You know, it's soothing for the soul. Just to let you motherfucker, there's no one full of fact. They all about fucking coming here and insulting people. Talking shit. Are you just killing time

till we're ready? We're just fucking around. We're just fucking around, just listening to some music. Sit back. I don't have years of stone to the fucking hills. You're sitting there thinking, what's next in my life? It's Thursday morning. I still don't have my shoot. Yeah, you have to come up. Yes, you do. But it's nice. Thank you for listening tonight. I'm sorry. I'm fucking around. I'm a little whacked up. I ate a half a cookie and a gummy bear will leave me. That's what the gummies were. I'm embarrassed. Fucked up.

I'll be at the Padooga Cafe on Friday night at eight o'clock. Let's do this shit. All right. Let's do this. Oh, shit. See. Well, I commence to scrub it on the sweet Lord Jesus feet. I was new. He was coming. But shut this be hell with me with his arches pink and scaly and his blisters on his corns. Then I looked at my Lord Jesus and saw he was growing horns. That's how the devil turned my foot water to whiskey.

And I can't remember nothing since that day. But that burning amber fluid that came a leak in from his tutsies wept into my water and it washed my cares away. So arm in arm with Satan. I went stumbling down the street. And I was rolling dice that Jesus Christ would save a space for me. And I've been cursing all the curing and cradling this disease. That brought me credit cards and titty bars and bisexuality. One, two, and me. That's how the devil turned my foot water to whiskey.

And I can't remember nothing since that day. But that burning amber fluid that came a leak in from his tutsies wept into my water and it washed my motherfucking cares away. I'm waiting for that black lady to knock on the door. Y'all were laughing at something that was going on. I hope it was the lyrics. Let me tell you something. Our other office when we were live in there one day and all of a sudden we heard some lady just banging and she's like stop smoking marijuana and we weren't really smoking marijuana and we're like we're not smoking pot and it was on the podcast.

So I'm looking at Lee and I know he's thinking the same thing that that black lady's like going what are you guys doing? That was tremendous. That was fucking tremendous. Is that an original song? That's an original song. That's on here? That was not on there. That's on another record I have with my old band Pillbilly Nights but we do that song with the new band. See what I'm saying, Lee? You're wearing some fucking little everything. Lee, you bring the tambourine? No, I don't at home. What the fuck, Lee? Oh my god. Lee, can you imagine that black lady? That's all I can think of. She'd still let me know and I wouldn't have saved the yodel.

No, I love the fucking yodel. That's the whole patois. That's the backbreaker right there, you know. That's amazing that you guys can just fucking pick up the guitar and just throw it down anywhere. I love it. Oh my god. What's the story, Lee? What happened? Lee, why are you holding the towel in like that for? You like a fucking movie producer? All right, I'd like to thank LA Hootenanny for coming in here tonight. Lee, where are you at this weekend? Are you performing anywhere? No. All right, good. Stay home. Fucking jumping jacks this week. Do something. I'm going to be in Paducah Friday night at some fucking cafe, etc. Come on down.

Kids are allowed. I'm doing an R-rated show, so bring the kids down that they're fucking confused. Where's my boys at LA Hootenanny? Break it down for me. We're at the federal this weekend. What time? 8.39? 8.30 to 10.30, 11. Kind of the early show, but we play a long time. And you're upstairs. Yeah, bring your dancing shoes. Yeah. Lee's going to go represent. He's bringing the tuxedo looking sharp. Can you do some of those moves? Lee's a fucking savage. Shake. Lee was on America's Got Talent. I believe it. For what? I don't fucking know. Countdown for the sponsor. I'd like to thank honored again, naturebox.com, Nailed It Life, and me on these.com. Go over there before September 1st,

State 20%, all our other sponsors. I love you. Stay Black. Have a great weekend. Thank you, gentlemen. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Now that the show's over, remember to go to naturebox.com and order great tasting, healthy snacks at 50% off. Snacks smarter in the new year with healthy and delicious treats like everything bagel chips and baked sweet potato fries. Support this podcast and get 50% off of your first order. Go to naturebox.com, promo code Joey. That's naturebox.com, promo code Joey. Show us also sponsored by audit.com. Go there to get Alpha Brain, new moods, room to commute, room to export, use code word church to get 10% off. For all the oil and wax smokers out there, go to NailedItLife.com and get 20% off of AverPen when you mentioned

Joey Diaz. And go to meondies.com and check out the men's underwear and women's thongs. Go to meondies.com slash Joey before September 1st and get 20% off of your first order. And yeah, we didn't pay a song to end with, but who knows? I'll just keep going with this. I thought I was her daddy, but she had five more. When I was rested, I was dressed in black. They put me on a train and they took me back. Had no friends or to go my way. Oh, they slept a night of carcass in my county jail. The next morning, about a half past nine, I spotted Sheriff coming down the line. Authentic all past, he cleared his throat. He said,

Don't you dirty hacking to that district court. And through the portal of my trial began, where I was handled by 12 honest men. Just before the jury started out, I saw that little judge come as to look about. In about five minutes and walked a man, holding the verdict in his right hand. The verdict read in the first degree. Lordy, Lordy, have mercy on me. The judge smiled as he picked up his pen. Ninety-nine years in the polls from then. Ninety-nine years underneath high ground. I can't forget today I shut that bad bitch down. Come on, you've got to listen on to me. Stay all fat, whiskey, and let that cocaine be.

These men have receptions, Matlock, A50632, and Batchelder, A39879. They have receptions. You