Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #205 - Joey Diaz, Danny B. and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: August 18, 2014

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined Danny B to talk about gambling and the start of football season. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for a 20% discount Music:  Public Enemy Fight The Power Tony Bennett - I Wanna Be Around The Cisco Kid - War Recorded on 08/11/2014.

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for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now, go to dollarshaveclub.com slash church. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash church. Or just go to joeyds.net and click on the dollarshaveclub banner. This show is also sponsored by onyx.com. Go there to get alpha brain, new mood, shroom tech immune, shroom tech sport,

any of those optimization tools, and get 10% off when you mention code word church. And this show is also sponsored by hitesigs.com. The proof is in the e-sig. Use code word joey's church and get 20% off of your order. Let's kick this motherfucker off on a Monday. August 18th. What?

Kick this motherfucker, please. Ferguson, stand up, you black cock suckers. I love you. What? Hit it. Monday morning, your second chance at life, you fucking cock suckers. Quit smoking today.

Quit drinking. Do jumping jacks. Quit fucking everything. Back hose up the muffler. This is your second chance today. Monday, wash those feet, brush your teeth, wash your ass, you want friends? What?

We got to fight the power that be. Oh shit, oh shit, wiggle for me, I'm believe. Oh shit, wiggle for me, cock suckers. What? What? What? What? What?

What? You bad mother fucker you. You made it to the church. What's up, Lisa? They had fucking long, five fucking days. I miss you, cock suckers. I know, it feels like longer than since one day. Yeah, we got to figure some shit out here and shit.

Beautiful day to be alive. It's your second chance to make it happen. Salute the flag, grab your nuts. Whatever the fuck you got to do to remind you, you're in a fucking American. We don't take shit from nobody, mother fucker. Sup, baby? Nothing, that shit in Ferguson is scary.

It's fucking scary. And I told to Joey Filato who called into the box. Oh, because he's from St. Louis, right? He's in St. Louis and he was taking it. He was breaking it down for me. How Ferguson is next to where it's going down, where he lives and he broke down the three counties to meet the North end and what happened.

Well, let me ask you something. Go ahead, my bro. Because I understand that we need police and that this one bad cop did something and now that the whole thing, it seems like they're all going to shit. But I never really understood, is it something, is it because I'm so white that they never really

mess with me? When you're walking down the street and you see a cop, are you worried they're going to mess with you? Because it- You never know what could happen. You never know what could fucking happen. In this situation, it's like three wrongs. Don't make a right.

The cop shoots the kid and they release the video of him shaking down the fucking owner and then there's looting and there's all this stuff. One mistake now led into three others that we shouldn't be doing. Listen, man, I've been in situations where a cop has said to somebody that there's been an accident, there's been an accident or there's an event

and you're walking by and the cop tells you to move to the other thing and you're like, what are you saying? Hold on, you're in your thought and you don't know what they're saying and sometimes a cop will get into your face. I'm sure that's happened to ever happen to you. You're not walking in the right thing.

Hey you, didn't I fucking tell you to cross the street and you're like, really, is that fucking necessary? Is that fucking necessary? And now you get into a fucking altercation with a cop and you're always gonna lose. Oh, yes. Either they're gonna give you a ticket or why are you talking to me that way

or turn around, let me frisk you. It always becomes that. We have taken them, I don't know how to say the word, not tenderness, we have taken the human interaction away from the police officer because now when they're trained, they're shooting dogs. A dog is 10 feet away, put your dog away. Listen, if that dog ain't got a fucking gun

or he's not charging me, I understand putting your hand on the holster. I understand everything. I understand that it's very tough to be a cop. When I get out of the car, I don't know what I'm gonna walk into. I don't know if you have a gun, I don't know what, but instead of this officer saying my gun went off,

I discharged it too early or whatever, it gets covered up that right away, the cop's coming to go fuck them. He was just a black kid. He's probably a hood anyway. That's the mentality. I'm telling you, that's the mentality, okay? He's just a fucking number.

He's not a human no more. We have taken the human interaction out of being a police officer. They are trained now a certain way where they're not supposed to listen to us and we're all perps and we're all wrong. Well, did you hear about that stop and frisk thing they had in New York for a while?

This kid recorded the audio of it and it was terrible. But it's like, because you know that you have to have cops and I'm sure, I don't even know if the majority, but I'm hoping that the majority of cops are good people and part of me, if a cop tells me to do anything, I'm just doing it because whenever I see these videos, people put up of people outside bars, of people yelling at cops and resisting cops.

I'm like, why would you do that? And part of me is like, well, maybe you should stand up for your rights and stuff, but the other part of me is like, they have guns. When you go to the cops, the authors are, why are you yelling at me when I'm just walking out of the club? Why are you yelling at me or why am I-

Oh, my brain doesn't even go there. Let's say you're saying, let's say he's just pushing you. And you're like, get off me. I didn't do nothing. Right away, that's resisting the rest. They get you. I mean, and then it's 10 cops and look what happened in Staten Island.

I'm no political activist. I'm none of these guys, but this guy is a big black guy. Oh, fuck, they got died. That guy, when they choked them out, really for selling fucking cigarettes, for selling untaxed cigarettes. That's what Staten Island was built on.

That's what Sammy the Bo Gravano did for 30 fucking years. You fucking morons. And you got a black guy that's six foot fucking nine. And the guy's saying, I can't breathe. And the little guy, Johnny Jujitsu, who's a purple belt, just holding on to this fucking guy. This can not continue because what's gonna happen is there's some crazy motherfuckers out there that will get a gun

and we'll start shooting cops in the fucking head. It's happened before. And then we sit here and we got a fucking salute as they drive by. Listen, we don't know what happened. We weren't dead. Number one, number two, and number three, we don't know what type of day that officer is having.

You don't understand maybe his kid, just got caught playing hooky and the wife is breaking his balls. And now I show up and this black guy doesn't wanna, he's just saying, hey man, you know me, what the fuck are you bothering me for? We'll turn around, let me, the handcuffs don't fit and all of a sudden I jump up.

You never know. You never fucking know what type of day a person is having. And that's what happens a lot of times in these situations. But what happens after them, you know, what does looting and have to do with a cop? What is, you know, I don't understand the release. Maybe I didn't grow up in those type of areas.

But I did dumb shit like that when I was a kid. I did all that type of shit when something happened, you join up with us, a bunch of people and you're out there yelling and screaming. By the time you get home, you're like, what was I yelling and screaming for? And that's the, I think, I don't know Ferguson, so I was talking to Paul about it

and she was like, during Ronnie King, her mom and her dad looted, not because they were upset about black people, but they were poor and people were looting and they needed food. So I don't know, is Ferguson lower income? Cause maybe- I guess it was a, it used to be a good neighborhood.

Okay. I don't know, Joey broke it down from yesterday. It's just so scary that that could happen here. And it's gonna happen because now they're gonna let the cop go. The cop's gonna get acquitted. Always, yeah. And this is gonna happen.

There was a march yesterday in downtown LA about two cops killing a kid that was mentally challenged. And then there was another one where two cops, again, got into it with a guy and they beat him up or something in front of his kids. They shot him in front of his fucking kids. So the humanitarian aspect, not the humanitarian, the humane aspect.

You know, when I was growing up, guys, I got in a lot of trouble and I had police contact a lot. But I don't know what it was in those early years in the late 80s and the early 90s where there were still cops that were human beings. They'd separate you, what happened? Step back, lower your voice, breathe. Okay, what happened?

And you had a chance for them to explain yourself without getting turned around or thrown on the floor or fucking tank coming down the street since when did police officers have tanks? Are the neighborhoods that bad? I didn't know that these fucking people had anti-fucking missiles on the street to shoot. And they were firing tear gas and rubber bullets.

Do you think part of it is budget cuts and they're just overworking them and they don't hire the best people anymore? And that's part of the reason why I get so upset during tax season. It's like, why am I paying these high taxes and then you're not, stop paying, I don't know if the politics,

I don't know who you should be paying, but pay the cops more and you should have good cops. Maybe they're hiring people who they wouldn't have hired before. No, they're still hiring the same people. They're still going through the same hiring process. It's the way we're getting trained. It's the way, it's the mindset

that they're getting let out into the street at. It's the 10 years on the police force. It's the being blind to not appreciating what the job is about anymore. You know, when you get out of a car, you see three black guys, there's a call over the radio, you're pulling your gun. That motherfucker turns around,

but you don't know, you haven't. Like I said, you don't know what type of day you're having. And once a weapon gets pulled out, it's always bad. So, you know, we're here talking about it. I don't have all the facts. I'm not gonna tell you, I'm fucking Diane Sawyer. And I got 20 people fucking working and looking at all the facts.

But I know the top fact. I know with black and white, I know how that works. I understand contact with police. I've had thousands of fucking contact with police, so it's just a bad situation that could settle down or might get worse. And it seems like every time these situations flare in this country, they're getting worse and worse

because it's a fucking powder keg. Okay, it fled up in Florida last summer with the Catevon Martin. You know, it swelled New York a couple of years ago. It's starting to swell. It's like a body, your body, all of a sudden you get a headache, your foot hurts. Eventually, this is gonna get fucking bad.

Eventually something's gonna go, so. Well, this is worse than Catevon Martin because at least the guy who killed Catevon Martin was just an idiot, neighborhood watch guy. This guy's a cop. So, my prayers go to the family and anybody. My prayers go to Ferguson that, you know, they got some fucking sleep last night

and they didn't go out during the curfew. I was close to Ferguson all fucking weekend. I was in two hours from Ferguson. I was 150 in that mile from St. Louis. I was in Paducah, Kentucky. I gotta tell you, man, I was fucking blown away. Why, what happened? It was just a different type of place.

It was a lot different than what I anticipated. I did a comedy show at the Exeterra Cafe. You know, the kid helped me out at George Machine. Just like a coffee shop, right? It was just a coffee shop. It set 50 people. I went in there and I just talked and I really had a fucking great time.

Just, you know, you don't understand comedy. A lot of people don't understand there's two different types of comedy. There's the open mic comedy and people doing shows. Then there's the paid comedy, you know? And sometimes you get sick and tired of just doing paid comedy. You love just going in and nobody gives you any money.

You're just going with no- Oh, there were no tickets? No, nothing. Oh, okay. There was a tip jar and I told them at the end to give it to the young comics because they drove and I want them to feel like to make 10, 20 bucks to know that this is working, you know?

Okay. So there was a tip jar out and I said, nobody, I don't want no money, you know? Give it to these young guys that put the show together and so they know that they're on the right track. That's always great when you're a comic and somebody gives you 40 bucks or 50 bucks. It's a great fucking feeling, you know,

to know that you're on the right track. So that's why we did it. And I had a great time. You know, Lee and I were talking about the baby, how hard it is to travel with a child. I mean, it almost pushed us to a fucking divorce Saturday morning. Jesus.

That's how hard we got into an argument because we hadn't slept in two nights. You know, a child has a certain, what do you call that, a schedule. And once you remove them from that schedule and new surrounding, fuck, it affects us. I wasn't not gonna affect a 19 month old child, you know? It's amazing that this baby mercy talks and runs

and jumps in puddles and she's hell on wheels, but she's still a fucking baby. She's not even in that mid-level. She's a baby. She's still, her words are starting to come together. It's a beautiful thing to see. Like she'll try to have a conversation with me and I'll get four or five words.

This weekend, the word was come. It was come. Everything was come. Okay. She turned around, you gotta follow, come, come. So now when I was calling, I'm like, come. And she would come to me, you know? So it's getting easier, but she's a baby.

It's still hard. She's a baby. She's fucking flipped down the flight on the way there. You know, at the airport, it's this big area where all these people, she wants to run, but she can't. And you can't say, listen, this is an airport. We gotta come down here, but we'll run later. She doesn't understand.

Yeah, you can't reason with them. The second flight was this puddle fucking jumper and she's sweating and she doesn't understand and she's looking at me for the answers and I ain't got them. I don't wanna be on this fucking plane either. You know, I don't wanna be on this fucking plane either, but I explained to my wife, so, you know,

temp is boiled there, but I'm happy just to be home. You know, man, I have five weeks at home. I'm having knee surgery next Tuesday. And this was what these weeks were for. You know, I'm not going to Sacramento with Joe next week because these weeks were already anticipated for his knee surgery and the rest and the rehab. I really want this knee to be done with

so I can really get this weight off me. I can really focus on my, you know, and I'm really working hard lately. I've been going to Hegan, Machado's, just to school. I've already gone like three weeks in a row. You know, I signed up for the BJJ, the log. Okay. I forget what it's called right now.

My friend. Rafi talked about it. Rafi talked about it. And ever since I joined up that thing, it's helped me a lot more with Jiu-Jitsu. And I'll tell you why, because it's the Weight Watches concept. It's being responsible for everything.

When you have a website that you have to go to every day and report to and tell it what you ate. Yeah, yeah, do the same thing. Calories and all that shit. It really makes you a little bit more, you know, I was going to BJJ once or twice a week. Now I've been going three times a week ever since I joined that.

Wow. Because you put it in and it tells you if you're gonna improve or not. And how much you improve by going that third day and that you also write your techniques down. You know, like what you learned. So a lot of times I was learning something, coming home and just forgetting it.

Now I come home and it forces me to write in the log. You know, if anybody's on, if anybody's going to BJJ, you're trying to lose weight or anything like that, that always helps when you log stuff in of what you've done. So like today I have to go to BJJ at 11, but I got to tell you something. I got a full fucking day.

I got auditions today. I got to put a tape, an audition on tape. I got to put something down for County Center. I got a meeting with these two dudes tonight. My day goes to seven o'clock. Wow. But I got to tell you something, man. And you brought it up to me.

I'm very lucky for my cats. Oh yeah, that was awesome. My cats, any animal, it's not just my cats. I was just leaving the house now and I saw Biggie outside and the other blonde cat. And I walked up to Biggie as I put my stuff in the car and I was letting it warm up, you know, up here. And I lowered the windows and I saw Biggie.

He's a cat from the neighborhood. And I walked down, I said, Biggie bit, and he walked over and just dropped and let me pet him this morning. Biggie's a big blonde cat. He's in one of the matte flavors world. Yeah, he was down the block from me. Biggie's a bad motherfucker.

Biggie was like the neighborhood pimp, but then they cut his balls off and now he's just this mellow dude. And just this morning I was walking down the stairs and I was thinking about my wife and the baby and you know, you think about the troubles of the world, whatever the fuck I was thinking about, just. And as I was walking the street to pet Biggie,

just me petting Biggie this morning, just me playing with Biggie for five minutes. Because when you scratch Biggie's back, he goes, he goes his mouth and then comes out. It's like he's lip syncing like a Japanese movie. Just that little rub is back for five minutes. Gave me so much satisfaction. Oh yeah.

And you mentioned it yesterday when you called back that, you know, I had Lee watch the cats at night. I have the lady come in the daytime, feed them, clean the little boxes. And I know my cats. I know they're very social. So I have you stop and you like them, they like you, you know. You stop and you feed them, you sit there for 10 minutes

and you, you know, tell them whatever that you love them or whatever the fuck you tell them. And you know, you even said it that you got something out of it. Well, it was cool. And I walked in like they all, they were looking at me and I took a couple pictures cause they were just so cute. But then you told me to go feed them.

And then I got on the phone cause I didn't like, there's different places for the bowls. And I'm sure I didn't even get it right. But then you're like put a wet can. And even before, as soon as I went into the kitchen, like they all came out of the woodwork and like they were gray, meow is nonstop. Nonstop.

Which I didn't, I didn't expect. And then, uh, Jimmy was going crazy too. And it was cool to watch because they must have been hungry two nights ago because as soon as I put the food down, they all went in there and then I was like sitting on the couch like by myself in your living room, watching me espionage. I'm like, what am I doing here?

But then they all came out and started like washing themselves and, and, uh, C.C. came over and, and, and Harry and Jimmy always come over. And it's just, it's, uh, I wish I had more time. And, and, and for cats, I, I'm, I probably could do it. But, uh, I, I always, I always enjoy just playing with the cat. And do what I almost like anytime you're having a fucked up day or whatever you walk home and whatever with you.

You have a dog or a cat, you go over, you pet your dog, you feed him, and then you're going to go do something. And for some reason that you feel so bad, you dropped a one knee and you just look at him and hug him and play with him and grab his ear and maybe get a ball and throw for your dog. Those three minutes, uh, you know, they say when you have an animal, you live longer.

People who have dogs and cats live a little longer, you know? And I'm, and I, and I could guarantee you it's those moments. Like, yes, I got home and I tell you Lee, I was fucking tired. I was tired physically. I was tired mentally, you know, uh, the night before I hadn't slept Friday night. So I get there Thursday, we go to dinner, you know, we go back to the room and watching TV.

I think it's going to be a regular night. You know, me, I go to bed at 1130 next, you know, at 4am. I'm walking around. I mean, I got up. I could not sleep. I could not, the baby was next to me on the bed. You know, she woke up. I played with that when he got breakfast and the day started Friday night.

I went to do that coffee shop. I didn't eat a chiba chua. I had a chiba chu for the whole weekend. Okay. And I said, I'm not going to eat it Friday night. I should eat it Friday night because I got back to the room and it was a fucking night, man. And by four in the morning, we were just fighting and she left at seven

because the child just wouldn't sleep there. You know, she went to her brother's house and the baby slept there. And then when she got back, we put the baby down again. But, uh, so I went to bed at Saturday night, like at eight o'clock. I had to catch a six a.m. flight in Paducah, which the airport is hilarious. Fucking the best airport that in Santa Fe, New Mexico. This didn't even have a food. Santa Fe had a restaurant.

This didn't even have a restaurant. This just had four machines. And had like ready to get for you like a sandwich machine. Oh, no, a coffee machine, a candy machine and a soda machine. That's all this place had. Excuse me. I didn't have nobody serving hot food, nothing. I was prepared.

I had like a banana and something else, you know, and by the time I got home, that Chicago LA flight was easy. I saw Ron Futch on the plane. I talked to him at the airport in Chicago. I met him. I shook his hand as I was eating a Friday, Chicago was fucking starving. And, uh, I got home and I tell you, when I walked in the house, I had to do a couple, I had to clean the little box and sweep up a little bit.

I opened the door to get some air in there, lit some candles. I fucking, uh, just to give them my, through all the clothes and the tan, you know, I do my regular ship, hook up the sleep, batting machine. And I had this list. I had to go to Rouse, I had to go to the bank. I had to go to the weed store. I had to make another move at this place. I had to stop and see if the medication was in from my fucking knee.

And I'll tell you what, when I got back last night, I really wanted to take you to dinner, I'll take a lead at dinner after I do the emails. I couldn't leave the house. Oh, I knew that. Cause you asked me what you're doing for dinner. I'm like, I'm going to have it in a little bit. And you really, I knew you were tired. I was tired, but I just felt bad for them.

I didn't want to leave them another night. Right. So I basically got on my hands and knees, like a 430 with them. And I brushed all of them, which was a fucking amazing to brush those cats with the metal thing and then we had to brush to get the hair off. Did they like line up at all? Oh my God. They fucking love it.

And they scratch at each other to move. You're done. Don't come back. Fuck you. He already brushed you. I got so worried and I wasn't even high, but I got worried because you have baby things set up in your house and I'm not, I'm not that experienced with cats.

So CC got behind the one on the TV place and I was like, I don't know if she can get back out from there. So like I may, I like him calling her like I wanted her to just be out of there when I, before I left, but then she jumped and I'm like, oh, that's not for the cat. That's for that's a mercy. Doesn't get behind there and the cats are fine. But I was, I was, I was, my worst nightmare was like that.

I was going to leave Saturday night and you would get back Sunday afternoon and mercy and CC would be behind there like meowing and peed somewhere. She wasn't supposed to be behind the TV. And, but she was fine. No, mercy. They always go back there. Okay. I didn't know that they got to break my balls.

Some fucking part of the other day and they go back there and they, they love it. You know, when the kids not there, they don't really piss back there or anything or shed back. I thought she was going to get trapped. No, but it's just really nice to have them. It's really nice to have animals and just to take time. Yesterday, as stressed out as I was, I sat them all down. Like I said, I pet them and Demi bit me while I'm brushing them.

They get so emotional when you brush them. Like the girls put their claws in you as you brush them and they bite your hand and Demi bites you a little bit. He'll bite your wrist a little bit as you're brushing his ears. It's pretty interesting shit. But it's, I don't know, it's just a great thought. Where's the music at? Where's I want to be around this Monday?

Coxuckers, get your shit together. It's a beautiful fucking day to be alive. Get up, grab your ball, sniff your fingers. Thank the Lord for giving you another fucking day. Coxuckers, the church bitch. I want to be around to pick up the pieces. When somebody breaks your heart. This candy's kicking in.

Oh, fuck. Some somebody twice as smart. No. That's 6,000 milligrams of cocaine, since it was used in an Arabian ball head. I'm pretty mad with you. Somebody who will swear to be true. Are you fucking kidding me or what?

I thought of you last night, because there's this app that you can get like discount tickets on. And I was just looking through the board, which I can fall asleep. And Wu Tang Clan with Talib Koli is going to the forum in Englewood. And I was like, oh, that'd be cool to go see. And then I just thought of you like, why are you going to go jump up and down with all the black people?

Don't kill your dad at the forum with Koli, Mahouk, and the fucking rest of them. The Wu Tang Clan, yeah. The forum, just it's beautiful. They said they redid it inside. You know, I went to see Janet Jackson there. Really? And like 98, they said they redid it and stuff. Let me ask, what is going on with the ICE challenge?

I don't understand what ALS is. I don't understand nothing. Well, ALS is a little. Last night, my buddy told me, he goes, don't, they're fucking used to it. You're getting challenged, left and right. I was going to challenge you, but it just, it's Lou Gehrig's disease, which is terrible.

I saw the thing they did on Sports Center, but like it just, it just shuts you down. Like your brain's still good, but you're, you can't move and you can't talk. And your body just disintegrates. And this guy who, who got it when he was like 27, a baseball player who was great and he started raising awareness for it. And it's just people are doing it now just to do the ICE. And I just, I only did for the ICE.

I don't have money right now to be donating to people. But the point is, is you're supposed to raise awareness for the disease because what he said is, is apparently it hasn't changed since Lou Gehrig got it. Like there's been no improvements. It's just when you get it, it's just like two years and you're dead. So they said, like they're the ALS foundations donations have gone up like 400% from this time last year, which is great. Some people get annoyed because it's just people on Facebook now.

And it's just, it's like a celebrity status symbol now to be, to be doing it. I do, I think, I think it's good that people are getting awareness and it's good to bring people together. And it's always, it's a funny way to do it because people, it's cold in the ICE. But I do see what some people are saying, like, why don't you just donate the money? Don't put a video on Facebook. And I understand that part of it, but I, I got challenged. So I did it and I, I was going to nominate you, but I was like, there's no

way you're going to stand on your front lawn in a bathing suit and pour ice. What on your head? You never know. If it's for a good cause and maybe I'd rather check 50 bucks on you. Yeah, I mean, it's scary. I mean, my, my grandmother didn't have ALS, but she had Alzheimer's, which is basically the same and that's genetics. So now I'm worried about my mom and Seth Rogan had that thing a few months ago

where he went in front of someone in Congress and was talking about it. And then it's just, that's really like, that's one of the ones where like, this kid was healthy, like I'm, I'm trying to get healthier now. And there's just some stuff. No matter how healthy again, like you have a bad role of like genetic courage or something, but we have a call coming in. What's up, Danny B. Oh, you told me, brother, man, how's everything?

Good, good. No, last night I'm sitting there minding my own fucking business going through the channels and I'm watching Carolina play somebody last night. I'm sitting there going, it's amazing that it's fucking football season again. And usually I just watch it for a minute. I watch the quarter. The fact I call Lee and I go, Lee, I'm sitting here watching football. He goes, I can't, I go, yeah, I'm scratching the fucking itch.

You know, you know, you get sick and tired of not having football on. And I listen, man, I always started as a football fan, but as life gets real, you got to cut the fantasy shit out. So I cut away from football. I can't sit there anymore, Danny, and watch three games. Like we used to 30 years ago on a Sunday. I wish I could. I wish I could.

Well, you know what? Cause you got, you got responsibility now back in the day we had none. And I get it. For me, it comes natural because it's part of what I do. But for the average guy, you know, unless they're betting the game, those guys can't help themselves. But yeah, I get it. It's tough to sit down as you get older, watching a football or a baseball

game in its entirety. I'm a peeker. I peek, man. Like I don't even like to see the shit, folks. I got money on a game. I peek at it. I come back 10 minutes later. I peek because I'll tell you why.

I had the Colts the other night, 26 to nothing over the Giants with 10 minutes left in the game. They lost 27 to 26. Did they really? That's why you don't, yeah, it fucking killed me, man. I was looking at the score. I didn't watch the game. I said, all right, 26 fucking nothing, 10 minutes left in the game.

I wake up the next day. I saw the final score. I almost puked my breakfast up. That's why these games fuck you up, man. But yeah, it is good to have football here. But reality, yeah, it's tough to watch a full football game. Let me ask you something. I was talking to Lee last night and I'm like, I go, Lee, you're not watching

because I don't watch preseason. And I go, you know, it's amazing that people are betting right now already. He goes, I broke it down for like, oh, Lee, you know, most people right now, like North Bergen people, people grew up with on the night, like last night, they bet a five time at 25 bucks, maybe a five time parlay, 50 bucks to watch the game and to them, that's what they're doing. It's a reason to watch the game. You don't have everybody gambling, but you got to.

Well, listen, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what, get some sick bastards out there. I got a client that rock and rolls. He don't care. I'm talking about that 500 on the game, but he can't do it. So he's betting three grand a game on preseason games. Oh my God. You know, so yeah, yeah, you know, you have to have action is action, baby. But how action is action?

So when, when, when, when gamblers, when good gamblers are breaking down games, I'm like, they're looking at who's playing, but with preseason, they're bringing in people who aren't even going to make the team. Like that, well, yeah, yeah, good point. Like, here's the thing with preseason, a lot of people say, you're crazy playing, you put certain teams have a different itinerary. You know, they're checking out defensive backs. They know who's doing what, look for a team with depth, like quarterbacks fighting

for each other, you know, fighting for the number one spot. Look what Pete Carroll did in Seattle game. He had Russell Wilson in with like two minutes left in the first half. He almost got hurt too. So he's playing to win. He ain't fucking around. So preseason for the average guy, you're back to fuck off. But guys that have the edge, you know, you follow the money.

That's simple. For me, I just follow the shop guys and, you know, they make money more times than they loosely it. That's simple. But yeah, back off the preseason because it is a crapshoot. You know, it's amazing how I've been more. I look at the Twitter timelines from time to time. I see you hustling.

I see the Philly Godfather hustling, but I see a couple of new people on the horizon that are getting retweeted by people that are on the computer. It's amazing how much this how much life changes, but it's really amazing how the trends change, Danny. You know, 20 years ago, you'd have to call people all fucking day. Now they're on the computer. They're on the fucking computer, figure it out. And you could sell your product on the computer without even talking to the person.

Well, the problem is you can do that, but a lot of guys ain't qualified to sell a product. So anybody with a website and the Twitter accounts making money, you know, and because, you know, most guys are OK at it, but push comes to shove. That's the thing is when you're betting your own money and how many of those guys are actually betting their own money? That's the thing. Are they really betting or are they selling picks?

Because, you know, they got nothing to lose, you know? So, you know, they come a dime a dozen these days. I'm scratching my head, you know, I'm scratching my head. You know, every time I turn around, there's an input. There's some legitimate guys out there. I get them on podcast, a couple of real sharp players out there. But they're far and few between, brother. What else do I want to say?

Yeah, I hear you were in Kentucky or Tennessee not too long ago. I was in Kentucky this last weekend, man. How did that go for you? Kentucky is a listen, man. I practice what I preach. I'm not going to come on this fucking podcast and tell you motherfuckers that I love Smallville, USA. I love visiting Smallville, USA.

I do it more than most of the people I know. I love that small mentality. I love going to see people in their most primitive effect. You know, anybody can go to Chicago, anybody can go to New York, go do comedy in Paducah, you know, at a coffee shop, you know, with 60 people who drove from Louisville, Kentucky to see you. Four hours, people drove from Cincinnati. It was a great feeling, man.

And I like being in the heartlands of places. You know, anybody could go to North Bergen, you know, go to the middle of New Jersey, go to the middle of New Jersey where there's fucking mountain lions and shit. And you have a conversation with them. I don't know when the shore was different. I don't know when the shore was just, you know, I always felt bad for the shore people

because for four months a year, they got tormented. They got tormented by assholes like me and fucking Darren Rago and fucking, you know, for four months. And I remember when Frankie Edgar first came on the scene in the UFC and he started beating people. One of the first bets I haven't made in the UFC with my wife on the was UFC 100 was Frankie Edgar when he beat Sean Shirk and nobody could believe it.

And I remember telling Joe Rogan on the way back, I go, I grew up down there. Those kids were forced to be tough. Those little shore motherfuckers, those little dirty dogs, as I used to call them, those dudes would fight you to the death down there. Yeah, they were tough. You know, we had some good times down there. You're right. We tormented that town wherever Belmaw, Seaside,

we picked a new city every year. Manusquan. Well, no, you evolved. You started at you first started at Seaside Lavalette. And then you went to Belmaw and then you went to Manusquan and then you went to the other shore. What was that place in Belmaw that we used to that the roof is on fire place? That remember that song with the fuck was there was one place? Montego Bay, where we were eating quail eggs.

Montego Bay, dude, I remember many times waking up in the park a lot. It like 10 in the morning. The owner kicked me like, hey, Dan, we're getting ready to open the club. You mind moving over? Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, that rocks in my face from the little stone. We had some good times, though. A lot of a lot of laughs. 10 people, 10 people piling up in a one bedroom, you know, just bodies everywhere, people, they charge you everywhere.

They would charge you a lot of money for those houses in the summer that landlords would jack the prices up. So you couldn't afford them. So you had to go like eight people to a house. But it's amazing when I see pictures now of the shore, like I have people send me pictures of what the beach looks like. Although we can first of all, they haven't really recovered from the hurricane. Sandy. Yeah.

Have not recovered. A lot of those shores are still closed. Construction, you know, they got hit. You know, like when when when when the hail comes down in Colorado, next thing you know, every construction company is in Colorado. Not only that, you have all the fake contractors that come take your deposit and they never do the work. They'll tell you, yeah, give us 10% up front. We'll be here in a month because we're fucking busy as shit.

And they never do the work. Well, that also happened in New Jersey because New Jersey, being the capital fucking scams, they got scammed the hardest. So a lot of these people went back to do construction. And those places ain't fucking done yet. So the shore, the shore, the shore was very tough. There I go again. Fuck, there I go.

We're so fucking rude to where we're from. The shore that week was very tough. So I don't even know. I lost my train of thought there. What were you saying about your mom? I did it to you. I fucked you up. I fucked you up.

Take a bite of the brownie. It'll come to you. Now, my mother lives in a teamsburg, you know, and that's a shore town. And they're still fucked up. Half of the block is what they condemned. They got it roped up. They haven't recovered. And what are we, two years later or more?

So that place is fucked up. I haven't really hit the Jersey shore a couple of years back. The seaside, the book, the rooms were booked. We found one place. We saw a ghost and we left. I got a picture of it. I'm going to send it to you. Legitimately, Jenny was taking a picture of me and the kids slumming it.

We called slumming it because we're always in these five-star hotels. We couldn't find them, but a hole in the wall. So we're laying in this broken down Victorian building. And I said, Jenny, take a picture of this. I've never done this in a long time. And then we were talking about packing up and leaving. And then she goes, you might really want to pack up now.

Look, and we found a ghost in the picture. I put it all over Facebook. I got to get it out there. If anybody out there, any of you fans out there, don't tell me that's a ghost. I'm telling you, Coco, it was a fucking ghost. I got to send you to Petri. You'll slip out on it.

So that's the last time I went to New Jersey beaches besides Atlantic City. Last time I was in New Jersey Beach was probably nine years ago. And I didn't even go to the beach. I was with Jimmy Burkle. Jimmy Burkle. Oh, oh, shit. I was with Jimmy Burkle.

And we went to Atlantic City to eat crab legs. And while I was in Atlantic City, I got a gig in Connecticut. So Jimmy Burkle and me got in the car and he drove me all the way to Connecticut. But as far as swimming down the shore, oh my God, it's got to be 98, 97. I used to go to Seaside Park with the De Lorenzo's or Chris. And on the corner, he had a hot dog stand.

Oh my God, Danny. They had spicy green, they had spicy chili. The guy had the fucking, the sabrette chili, but he spiced it up and I would get like six. I would get six hot dogs a sitting. I was averaging 20 hot dogs a day, three days down the shore. It was amazing.

I was shitting on this. You know what? You mentioned De Lorenzo that he had that place, a little unit next to Montego Bay. You remember that apartment complex, right by Montego Bay? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was where I used to sleep in the parking lot. You know, there was no room.

You know, if you got in early, you got a bed or a spot on the floor. But half the time I would grab a blanket, fucking sleep right in the parking lot of Montego Bay. You know, and how those were good times. And that's funny too. I also remember that week, Miss Tager, of course, Romano. She was like one of the boys.

She'd fucking blast blow all night long, act like nothing happened, arm wrestle yet. She went tubing in the fucking Atlantic and she forgot to shave her, you know, a little choochie. And I just remember looking at it. It was like the funniest thing. She just floated around all fucked up with a hairy pussy sticking out.

But yeah, we had some good times back then, Coco. How'd you bring it? How's Gary? Huh? What do you hear from Gary? Yeah, I mean, oh. Oh, what do I hear from Gary? I guess he's got, nah, bad and bad stuff.

Okay, let me, let me tighten up the Gary story here. I got a link sent to me about a week ago from my cousin, Mikey. I guess the kid that he, he, uh, robbed the banquet, flipped and confessed on other things. He was on a spree there, you know, a three week spree. All in North Bergen, right? He's fucking a three mile mile radius.

He took down first the guy. They got him for the one bank. Carjacket and blah, blah, blah. But the young kid fast up to, they had robbed a bank earlier in a week, like four days earlier. They had done a couple of McDonald's and Burger Kings. And there was a restaurant down there, the Chateau. You remember the Chateau, Coco?

Uh, it's still there. I think that's the name of it. They followed some broad home. Gumpoint took like six large from, uh, from her, from her purse. So they connected and he's done, bro. He's not going to see the, the streets again, you know, and, uh, so that's the latest. Haven't spoke to him, you know, I think he's in Newark

somewhere around Newark prison. I'm not sure he hasn't wrote into nobody, but yeah, we just got the latest charges. So yeah, you know, so he did a few banks and God only knows what else he did. And, uh, and one of the getaway drivers died. That's right. I forgot.

I wouldn't tell him the story, but they had a getaway driver that died. I don't think it was related to the bank robbery. So Gary's fucking, uh, I don't know. It's said, bro, it said it's killing my mom. You know, she's, uh, she's not doing too well herself. But yeah, he ain't going to come home any time soon, pal. What's the deal for the season?

What do you got for these guys that they sign up now, whether it's for the month, whether it's for the year, what do you got going on this year? What's the package? Well, see what do we got today for the church guys? I always take care of something special, but for the common guy out there, we got the 150 for the month. But if you sign up for one month, you get another month free.

Breaks down to like less than $5 a play. And then if you do for the year, it's like 50 cents of play. We give out like 30 to 40 plays a month. You break down the math and break down the dollars or pennies. I'm not really, you know, really right now we're getting ready to get the football season off. As you know, my bread and butter's still radio. We just did me and big Lou just did a, uh, what do they call it?

Documentary on sports betting with the, with the National Geographic Channel. They were out by you guys in California for drag racing, you know, how people bet on the car races on the street. Then they were down in Georgia doing dog and cock fighting. So they came up this way to do me and Lou. It was for sports betting. So that battle should have some time in January. But just get ready to get my season off going.

Coco, you know, next week, next Thursday starts it up to 28th. But tonight you have a big game with, uh, Cleveland and walk. They're anticipating a big audience tonight for this. Johnny football, you know, he's not starting, but tonight's a big game. They expect a good, uh, good audience to watch the Monday night game. What's, you know, man, what happened to Monday night football? When I was growing up, Monday night was everything. You didn't even make plans on Monday night.

If you did an event on Monday night, you were fucked because why would you do something? People are going to keep asking you, Hey, is the game on? You just get irritated. Now Monday night football is nothing. It's like fucking nobody even acknowledges it. There's no more happy hours. There's nobody fucking stabbing people. You know, he used to be-

No, they got it. They got it going on here. They do kind of, they don't know about out West, but here they still got their Monday night specials, wing nights. They celebrate, but you're right. The lust is gone. It's not what it was. Nothing is, nothing is.

Everything's televised. There's games seven days a week, you know, but when we in the eighties, we had that buildup. We had that Monday night buildup. They didn't even have the Sunday night. No, every once in a while, they would have an ESPN special, Sunday night, evening, Atlanta fountains or something. But no, it was straight up.

Hey, Lee, what's going on? You want to ask Danny a question? You over there? You stoned it on that candy? I'm a little stoned, but I have a bunch of questions. Well, well, Joey, I don't remember why we were talking about it. You guys are fucking stoned all the time. Yeah, we're fucking stoned all the time.

That's why you forget shit. That's true. But we were talking, he was saying how if we went to Atlantic City, you can't leave the strip. And I really like gambling. I'm just not, I haven't put enough time into it to be good at it. And I was watching this documentary on this Blackjack player who beat like the Atlantic, Atlantic City casinos for like $50 million.

Spit it out, Lee. Come on, spit it out. It's OK. He beat him for like $15 million. But they were saying that Atlantic City is really dying right now. So like, and you were saying you were just there. So like, why is it like, why is it dying? Well, you know what?

A couple of things. I used to get out. I was at the Rebel, which is I think just one out of business or about. That's the most beautiful casino. It's the most expensive casino in the United States at $2 billion. It's gorgeous. It's gone bankrupt twice now in less than two years. There's no reason to go there.

You have casinos here in Bethlehem, the Sands. They're all over Philly and the Poconos and Yonkers. So there's no reason you can bet online now in New Jersey. There's no reason to go to Atlantic City. Yeah, it's beachfront. But it's land handlers. It's lost its luster. Sports betting could help the road to recovery,

but it's not the solution. It's not the whole solution, but it definitely can help spice up some interest. Things have just changed. You know what? Again, when they were the one game in town, yeah, everybody went to Atlantic City, but you don't have to know more like.

A lot, they come up with this Rebel. It's gorgeous. It's a oasis in Atlantic City, but it wasn't people friendly. They didn't have it. They designed it beautiful, but not for gambling. They kind of made it like a resort. And people down there, they're broke.

They don't have money to spend like that. And it just wasn't a chef. We thought out the layout of the place, but a beautiful, uh, they tried to put a silk hat on a pig. That's what happened. They tried to put a silk on a fucking pig. You know, first off, let's get you're absolutely right. Me and Lee just went, Lee and I just went down to Harris

in San Diego, the casino. We went down there. Lee, how good was the lobster bisque? Right. Everything was great. It's a beautiful fucking place. So me and Lee are coming back with stone till it gills on a cookie and we're talking about how a gambler,

a degenerate gambler doesn't need to go to Las Vegas anymore. All he has to do is drive to San Diego now, or Pachanga Casino or the Bicycle Club, which rock all day, right in my neighborhood here, right off the seven tenants, where Gabriel Glacier started coming at the Bicycle Casino. You go to Commerce Casino, the same thing. Okay.

They're all fucking Thai and Asian people, but who gives a fuck? They got cash. That all cuts out from Vegas. Vegas is going after the 21 year old that drives every Friday and does ecstasy and jumps up and down. Vegas isn't doing bad. They're not doing well.

Okay. So now in Vegas, you got these 21 and 23 year olds that go to do drugs and you got families. That in between is missing. That in between is staying home. That in between is saying, hey, you know what? I don't need to spend $600 on a fucking plane ticket and another four in a hotel room to gamble.

I can pocket that. I could buy an eight ball and save 700. No, well said. Well said. And again, here, I mean, I got the sands. Hopefully you'll get a chance to play there. It's beautiful. I mean, it's probably one of the nicest casinos I've seen.

The rooms are reasonable. But the problem there now is they're busting in all the gooks out in New York, excuse the, you know, the Asians are coming in. They're giving them like free $50 worth of play. They got a guy, they did a little film on him. He makes two trips a day. He gets these $50 vouchers, sells them for 40 bucks.

So he makes 80 bucks a day, just going back and forth, hanging out. You walk around the sands, it's like nine to the living dead. Nothing but Asians just walking around waiting for the bus to take them back. They take baths in the bathrooms. They steal your little free plays, your cards, you know, your fucking card you leave in the machine.

It's really bizarre. So yeah, both Atlantic City and Las Vegas will never be what was. There's too many places popping up. But, you know, with a little help from a legislature, if they legalized sports betting in Atlantic City, because it is beachfront, you know, it is. That's one advantage they have that Vegas doesn't. And beachfront, the beaches are pretty high.

I heard the beaches nice. I heard the beaches clean. I have a friend that's very picky. And he says that he found the solution. He goes to Atlantic City because nobody goes on that beach in the summer. He goes, they're all down the shore jumping up and down. He goes, you go to Atlantic City,

because you get a room, you go on the beach. It's like stealing. He doesn't even gamble. You know, he goes down there and he gets a steak and he comes back on Sunday. He loves him and his wife fucking love it. Nobody knows. Yeah, they don't gamble.

But nobody remembers. He's just down there. Nobody remembers deep. When we were growing up, if you went to 30th Street and Bergen Line Avenue, by the cab stand, you paid $9.99. They gave you a voucher. They gave you $10 and quarters.

And they gave you $20 and coupons to eat. And they put you on a bus to Atlantic City. The catch was you couldn't leave early if you lost. So if you took the 7 a.m. bus, you had to take, you had to wait for the 3 o'clock bus. You couldn't go back on the 11 o'clock bus. That's how they got you to spend money because they know you're going to lose.

They're going to give, it was free. Atlantic City basically bused you for free because of course you tend to get in, but you got $10 and quarters when you got down there. Okay. Yeah. Well, that's what they're doing with the Asians, but they're disciplined.

They're fucking smooth. You know, they're disciplined. They can walk around. They graze. I'm telling you, you'll see them. You're like, what the fuck is this? They're all over the place. So how far is it from New York to Bethlehem by bus?

Oh, shit. Without traffic hour 15 from Port Authority. Daddy being cool. That's fucking amazing. No. So I'm telling you, they're making money. It's like they were all over the local news here, like how the Asians are just taking the free.

And they're making a profit. They're giving them $50 in vouchers. They're selling them for 40 to the guys, you know, so the guy's saving 10 bucks. He do a couple of times a day. They travel five days a week. The guy's making 400 bucks. They find, you know, again,

they packed their little lunches once in a while. It's fucking amazing. But they also got Connecticut. They got all these places around New York now that you don't need, you know, and I love Las Vegas. I got nothing against Las Vegas. But again, a degenerate gambler in this economy. Bitches, you know, it's tough out there for a pimple.

I don't need to go to Vegas to play cards, the Blackjack convention. When I go to Bethlehem, get comped. I'm an hour from my house. If I pick up a chicken, I want to stab her. What happened? Hey, listen, I was up in Long Island, man. You know, they're comical up in Long Island.

You've done comedy up there a few times. But I have a little office up. We moved from Colmack to Bayshore. My boy was in Port Jefferson. So they got all of these fucking Italians coming in playing high-end cards. It was, fuck, I wish I was filming a cocoa. It was the most hysterical thing I've seen.

These guys were having pots of $30,000, $40,000. I was tripping out. I went to bed at 12 o'clock. I woke up for work. They were still at it at 9 o'clock. They stayed in the place until like 12 or 1 o'clock. But just the atmosphere was funny. You ever watch some of those Long Island guys' cocoa?

When they're playing cards, cursing and making fun of each other? So yeah, it was kind of comical. But you don't have to go nowhere. You don't have to go far, or you can bed online right now, you know, especially in the Jersey, Nevada. You can bed legally online. And there's 90% of us out there

that are bedding illegally online. Isn't there a casino in New York City in like Queens? Yonkers, Yonkers. Yeah, it's a good one. You got the racetrack there. You know, so it's a nice setting. It was one of the first casinos that offered full service. They started off with slot machines only, Lee.

And then they instituted blackjack, roulette, and poker. But Yonkers, I believe, was the first. Allegedly, Mama's Park is going to offer sports bedding. And they're going to ignore the federal ban. So let's see what happens here in the next couple of weeks. Let's see if the feds, it's kind of like the pot thing, you know? It's illegal federally, but in the states it varies. So same with Mama's Park.

They're just saying, fuck it. We're going to stick our chest out and see what happens. I wonder if the feds will come in and confiscate the machines or whatever. I don't know. So that should happen in two weeks, they're saying. My mother's number one addiction was the ponies. And that was her last hope was Yonkers, because that was a night time.

They were late night. Like when she called me at midnight, I knew she was coming back and fucking Yonkers. Yonkers is the last planet unknown. That fucking track looked like death at night. I used to be scared when she was telling me she was going to Yonkers, because it was every degenerate gambler in the tri-state area. This is their last hope to wake up money in that pocket.

And they did the track. I hope they fucking redid that thing. Oh, it's nice. They did some urban optimization there, because that shit was a fucking jungle up there. That was this. And you know what, man? That's the other thing now.

These casinos look great. They look great for the eye. And they get a steak in there. You get a good cheap steak in there for these fucking people. And they feel like they had a fucking The Palms Hotel. And they're ready to go. I don't blame them. I don't blame an Atlantic City.

I'll tell you, I've been to Atlantic City. I could put it on my hand. And it's been like an OK experience all five times. I don't even tell you. Let me tell you something. The food's not good no more. Remember they used to feed you for free? Even in Vegas, the food was next to nothing.

Vegas still offers a lot of great food, but you're paying for it. In the 80s, we ate like kings. It's expensive. We got that for him. I mean, without traffic, it's literally eight minutes for my house. That's for him, the fans. They got emeralds in there. The food's OK, but it's fucking expensive.

You figure you can't eat sheep in these places no more. So gambling's huge, man. It's everywhere. I just don't see why they don't let us bet on the sports, because everybody wants to do it. Everybody's doing it. People are getting in trouble because they have to. I think, here's my opinion, if you regulate it,

make people post money that they can afford to lose, rather than betting with bookies on credit and stuff like that. I think it's just good. It's just smart. But let's see what happens. And football, again, officially next Thursday, college football starts up. Some teams to look for.

Let me throw out a little advice where you can look at some of these future bets. OK, let me get to my game. Are you OK over there? You fucked up? Yeah, I'm fucked up, but I'm listening. It's not a bad game. You ready? Yeah, you ready?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm ready. I said, now these odds have been changing. A lot of guys are going to be playing the favorites like Seattle and Patriots and Denver. You have Seattle 9-2 and Denver like 7-1. Patriots, I'm looking at some value here. Long shots to an extent, but good teams like the Saints. If you put some money on the Saints, you can get them at 20-1.

They have a good chance of winning the Super Bowl this year, so I'm liking the Saints at 20-1. And in AFC, the Colts bring a lot of value at 25-1. So if you put a little bit of money on these teams, maybe 10 bucks, 20 bucks, and then you see that they're not cutting it towards the end of the year, you can always hedge your bet. But some good value on the Saints, Colts, and in college football, a lot of people are high on Oklahoma Sooners this year.

You know, they started off at 15-1. Now they're at 10-1, so they're high on them. Of course, your Florida State Bama will burn a favorite. But Georgia, some people like Georgia at 13-1 in Oregon, at my personal bet is South Carolina. I think South Carolina and Spurria, long shot at 23-1, but there's definitely some good value out there, Lee. Anybody have any thoughts?

It's not NFL, but before LeBron and James went to the Cavaliers, how many people are going to make millions if they win? Because weren't they like 60-1 before LeBron and James came? Now they're like the favorites? So that always feels stupid. Because when they first came out, the Cavaliers were like 60-1, odds, and now they're like 5-1. So if they win, some people are going to make millions.

Well, yeah. I mean, if you got in early before the move, yeah, that was fucking great. But you got to see the future there. But honestly, I was surprised that he went back there. But good for him. They hated him a few years ago. Now they love him again. That's the world.

You know, what have you done for me lately? But again, anything can happen. I just take this year, and I've been doing this now. This is my 21st season, like doing radio and television with this shit. And it's every year, it's something different. You know, always something happens. Somebody gets hurt, fucks up the team. So I always tell everybody, and I'm honest with everybody,

well, just put some money aside that you can afford to lose. Have some fun with this. Expect, you know, expect some ups and downs. But, you know, you can make money at this. But the key here, Lee, you have to have money. You have to have money to go with this. Like anything else. They tell people all the time.

And I'm very sincere about this, Koki. You know the way it is. You got $100,000 put into a money market account. Or any investor. What are you looking at? 2%, 7% maybe, if you're lucky? So on a low end, a money market account. 2%, 100 large.

That's $2,000. You pay taxes on it. At least not for a fucking happy meal. How much money did the government or the banks make off of your 100 grand? God only knows. So, as I said, have money. That have discipline. It ain't for everybody.

I'm telling you what, with that type of money, you can't get hurt unless you get stupid and bet $10,000 a game. If you're moving $1,000, $2,000, $3,000 a game with that type of money behind you, you're guaranteed to make money as long as you stay disciplined. When I'm following guys that like the Philly Godfather and the whole group,

I'm one thing about me now. I'm more connected than I've ever been, Coco. Of course, now I'm tracking some real sharp players. All those guys, you've had them on your show. The guys that were betting the big money behind Donagy's games. You know, and they're very sharp. You know, people think you have to hit 80%, 70% to make money. You don't.

Listen, and I throw this out to everybody, too. It's common sense. People will look and when they call me, can I get 70%? I can lie to you and say, yeah, but no. Listen, if you can hit 58%, you had a great year. You had a great year and I'll just throw out some numbers and I'm going to round the morph on radio here. Say 60%, it's easy to follow, right, Lee?

This goes to you, Blake. You play 500 games in a year. And if you're in a position to say, or whatever you can afford, you bet $1,000 a game. That's it. People try to get $5,000, $10,000 and they get greedy. But if you bet consistently and you hit 60%, that's 300 moves and 200 losses.

At $1,000, you made $300,000. You lost $220,000 with the juice. You still made $80,000, just betting $1,000 a game. But it's not for everybody. Only 2% of the people have the moxie to do that. And they don't chase. You know, Coco, we know about the chase. And I've seen this.

I've made millions at this shit. Honestly, and I've lost millions too. But this is not for everybody. It's not for the squeamish. It's not for the compulsive guy, the guy that has addictive personalities. This shit will swallow you up. I talk to guys that pay service after service and they always come back for more.

I be talking to them. I'm like, so what? Well, the guy started off good for me. Oh, he won his first seven out of eight games. Then he told me about a big game about a couple of players that got food poisoning and fighting with the girlfriend. And one did cocaine last night. So this game's a lot.

And I say, and you bet it all. Yeah, I did. Well, who's fucking fault is that, you idiot? You fucking bet everything you made on one game. So I've heard it all. This is fucking no different than any other addiction. Worse, actually, because you can wipe out everything that you've made in your whole life in a matter of three hours.

Drug addicts, alcoholics, they take time before they kill themselves. Gamblers are fucking worse than any addict out there. Take that to the bank. Where do these people find your Danny B? Oh, in Allentown, 266 South 33rd Street. I have two men standing up. They can go to DannyWinsForYou.com, Coke. DannyWinsForYou.com.

Check it out. You know, it's pretty simple. I got some podcasts up there and a radio show. And I got big glue before you cut me off. I got big glue, Eesa. You've never met him, Coke. Oh, I don't think. Have you met big glue?

No, no. But Joey and you have told me stories about big glue. And you know how big glue got ahold of me? Because he heard me on this podcast. Well, his friend, it's November. I just got done doing one of the church shows with you. We're talking about how we used to take down the drug deals with big glue.

So I see his name show up on my caller ID. Well, turns out his buddy's a fan in New Jersey. He gives us name-dropping big glue. He says, hey, whoa, some guys have been talking about you robbing drug deals and stuff. And so it turned out that he called me. We started reuniting. And he's a boxing promoter.

You know, he's out there on Showbox Showtime. He's got a bunch of boxes out there. So yeah, we've reunited. And he's got some good resources, too. He's good with the boxing. Very good with boxing, MMA, and soccer. So yeah, you'll see a little bio of big glue up there. And it's not much my website, Coke.

Like I keep it simple, bro. I keep it very simple. I will see you in New York, September 26th and 7th. Get ready to eat some fucking edibles and your eyeballs are going to get ready. Oh, no, no, no. I won't do it no more. Last time I was paralyzed.

It was fucking, I told you my fucking eyes. I went to a coma. My eyes were bleeding. People from the church were trying to talk to me. And I'm like, get the fuck away from me. I can't see nothing right now. I love you, Danny B wins. I love you, too.

It's a big league, man. Keep it in line, my brother. Thanks for having me. Go get them, everybody out there, man. Thanks for tuning in, Cokes. Thanks for having me. Danny B wins. Don't fuck around.

I love you, cocksucker. I love you, too, brother. See you soon, pal. Bye-bye. Stay black. See, so if you're going to start your gambling this year, just get a little coach, a little help. I'm not saying to go overboard if you,

but if you want to try it, I offer this to you. So you just, you know, a hypothesis is an educated fucking guess. That's all sports betting is sometimes an educated guess. You know what I'm saying? Lee, how cute and stoned are you right now? You just say, man. It's okay. I'm stoned, but it's mild.

Mild. It's a nice high. These are very nice. Let me give him some shout outs. We got to talk about some shit here. My main man, Mike Trez. This is a special shout out. Sherman Jones. For hooking us up with heat.

Hit E6. Luke Denton. I love you. Cox Sucker. Jesse Fontaine. Greg Fuentes. Abel Bernal. And Moses Vazquez.

I love you. Cox Sucker. Some shout outs. You know, I love when we have the late night guests. You know, I love them. It's a different avalanche of opportunity for you people. I really love that you guys, I get to Lee, and I get to fucking bring different people in here.

But they also, people didn't even let me up and go, Joe, you haven't given us your take or Lee's take on what's been going on. And I really wanted to get this out there today because my buddy, Dean LaPreet, that I grew up with, who listened to the podcast, called me last week and we had a good discussion about this and we'll settle it.

You know, Facebook social media has been covered with Robin Williams, you know. And that the Robin Williams. And it's very sad when anybody dies in any way form. You know, this is a little sadder because it hits closer home. For comedians and people like movies and entertainment, you know, and the general consensus are that comedians

are dark people and they have this and that, you know. Listen, I could sit here and like everybody else, everybody became a fucking authority last week, you know. I could sit here and tell you one thing. I've gone through a lot of little things and I have gotten down on myself and gotten depressed about my situation. But I've done something about it.

I don't know anything about depression. I don't know how it starts. It could be hereditary, you know. I don't know if it's in your genes. I don't know. I, whatever it is, my heart pours to you. It's just a different facet of our mind playing tricks. It's a brain fart, you know.

We have anxieties, we have fears, you know. But I will tell you that sometimes when I've had fears, I've been depressed because I haven't overcome them, you know. And that's why I tweeted that stupid thing that fear is a cousin of depression, you know. So I don't, I didn't want anybody to be mad at me. I know for a fact it starts to trigger in your mind. I really wanted David Tell to call today.

I really, I spoke to him yesterday briefly and I really wanted to talk, to explain the comic mind and the different forms of comedians' minds. And I don't know, I don't know the mind. I know my mind and I know how my mind works. And I don't get depressed. I do have dark thoughts. And they race in my mind and they hit so hard

that it shatters me for three minutes. And then I have to put it in a waste basket. There's a waste basket next to me on my left and I put the shitty thoughts in there. And I had to do this. And yes, when I went to the psychotherapist at that time for my anxiety, we discussed the dark thoughts that I have. And I don't want to take medication

because I don't want to feed it. When you have a dark thought, you overcome it yourself. Well, at least in my mind, that's what I do. I know I'll get emails from people saying, you should go on this pill. You should go on that pill. And that's what I don't want to do. You know, that's what I want to work this shit out myself.

And that's what I've always done. You know, I have it. You know, this week I was telling Lee that I had a problem with my wife this weekend, whatever, because of my temper with the baby. You know, I fly for a living. And I flown in the back of the plane. I flown in the front of the plane.

And from the ages of one to five, it's very hard to travel with a child, you know. And I get to see the other side of it. I get to see, you know, traveling used to be, flying used to be a great experience, Lee. I don't know if you have a flu as a child. I had a child, but it was already kind of, I remember we used to have the,

they would give you silverware, like actual metal for the, for the meals, but that ended quickly. Like by the time I was a little kid, it was already terrible. But it was always supposed to be a good experience for you, supposed to be excited. And even as an adult,

you're supposed to be excited when you fly. When I fly now, it's just a part of doing business. But I don't like it either. And every day you read how there's terrorism and this and that, you know, you can't outdo life, but you can hide your percentages by doing certain things or not doing certain things, you know.

And I was just very scared that mercy was going to fly. You know, that's it. And because of that fear of mercy, it bled over into all my other aspects of life. And it made me angry all week. And it really did affect me. And we worked it out or whatnot. But it's amazing that I was getting dark thoughts.

That's why they want mercy to fly. You know, I actually saw the terrorists on the plane smacking my child, you know. I see those things in my mind. And that's what happens with me. You know, I don't get thoughts, dark thoughts. You know, my, my heart goes out to him. How he ended up dying.

And I don't know what he was going through. You know, I hope that God has mercy in his hand. You know, when he touches him, I don't know what happened. But I will know that it was just very sad. Oh, it's true. I have people very close to me in my life who went through it. And it's great that you can go through it and not have to take the pills.

But I know people, I know multiple people who have taken it and changed their lives. And it's, I had like three or four people within like two years of me graduating that could commit suicides. And it's just, I don't even want to say depressed. Because when people kill themselves from depression, they're like, well, I was just having a bad week or something.

But I've had bad thoughts when I've been down. But I've never, I've never seriously considered that at all. And it's just, I can't imagine what you must be going through. Fear twists people up. It twists me up. It twisted me up to the point where I was asking my wife about missing money. Like, I thought I was missing money from my check on economy.

Did you take it? That's how deep the fear took me this weekend. That's what it did to my thoughts. It made me delusion. Oh, wow. So I get it. I get it, guys. And I've always had those little things

when something's scarce to shit on me. It's like, I get crazy. I lose my equilibrium. So the mind works in a fucking weird way, man. The mind works in a weird way. We touched on it the other night, but there was too many people in the room, so I really couldn't pour my heart into it.

I'm not the type of person that's going to write something on Facebook, man. I just, I don't like that shit. You know, I have to write everything on Facebook to let people see it. My Facebook is to get you people up in the morning to crack a stupid joke and to move on with my life. I really don't want to start writing sentences in my life experiences with Robin Williams.

I just don't like that shit. I know what happened, and I don't have to tell nobody. But in the podcast, you have to address it because people are listening. They're going, what the fuck? You know, I know he was a comedian. You don't feel anything. Yeah, I feel something.

I feel scared. I feel scared for myself. You know, for a couple of days, it did affect me. You know, was I great friends with Robin Williams? No, we've seen him that one time. Yeah. Down in town, I saw him one night at the improv, and I said, hello.

And I saw him a couple of times at the store, and I said, hello. I didn't really know all of my, I didn't really have a conversation with him, you know. Did he intimidate me? No, I just didn't really talk to him. I just didn't. But after what I saw on Twitter and read on Twitter,

you know, everybody's a fucking authority. You know, I'm not an authority of anything. I'm an authority of what I live through. Right. And I don't live through depression. I just live with shitty fucking thoughts. Yeah. And they scared me, and they scared me at night.

And this time, I'm going to take my breathing mask off at night and catch my wits and wipe my tears off my eyes or something. But that's what it does to me. I ain't going to kill myself. So I love you guys, and thank you for the concerns and the emails. I answered 90-something emails yesterday. Wow. And a lot of them were talking about that,

people with depression, people with, you know, mental anguish, anxiety, you know. It's just, it's overwhelming, you know. I had an anxiety-driven, I had an anxiety, anxiety-driven addiction, where if the coat wasn't in my body at a certain time, the anxiety would solve overwhelmingly that I'm happy I wouldn't talk to people in that time. You wouldn't understand me.

If I came to you and grabbed you by the shoulders, I would say, Lee, I just need $60. And the more you would say, Joey, I don't have, Lee, I need $60, okay. And you would see it in my face and finally go, okay, man, calm down, you know. That's the same thing. That's the same thing.

It made me crazy. So I'm crazy. I get it. But I just didn't like how people made the same. Right. That we're all these, we go back to our fucking rooms and cry and we're monsters inside. And that's not the fact.

I go to dinner all the time with comics after we're in there fucking fine, you know. And that's part of it. Right. That's part of it, you know. To do this, to do this career, people think about it. You got to be fucking crazy. You got to be fucking crazy.

But then again, to be a doctor, you have to be crazy. To do what Paula does. You have to be fucking crazy. You know, when somebody tells you they go to law school, you look at them and go, huh. Do you know you get yourself into it? When somebody tells you they're pre-med, you know, what makes a fucking motherfucker look at his family

and go, hey, mom, I know I got a degree in fucking political science, but guess what? I'm going to choose the life of a fucking comedian. I'm going to go broke for four fucking years and live like a peasant and crack jokes and make people laugh. And then somewhere in my mind, I'm going to believe that I'm going to become fucking famous doing this shit.

Or I'm going to become successful doing this shit. Because there's one thing doing comedy and there's another thing making, you know, a living off of fucking comedy. These are the things you talk yourself into. So now you look at the list of comedians. How many comedians? What's the population of the United States?

I don't know. What do we got? 10,000 comedians if we're fucking lucky? Those are all crazy fucking people. How many people do you think are around that do what you do and travel to like the good comedy clubs every week? A lot. You know, like 300 comedians that travel.

You know, you got to figure this 500 comedy clubs, another fucking 3, 400 venues of weekends. There's a lot of comics working. There's a lot of ships. There's a lot of things going on for comedians, you know. And just to get into that career, there's got to be something wrong with you. And for some people, they need attention.

And for some people, it's an outlet. And for some people, it's therapy. You know, it's your own personal fucking Jesus. It's your own personal Jesus for what you want it to be. For me, it was my last escape. I did not know I would be here 20 years later. I never anticipated being in California. For me, I would have been happy just staying locally.

We discussed this the other day on the podcast. Wednesday night with the musicians. We discussed how I thought I could just get a job and do comedy as an outlet. I never thought I would do anything greater than that or anything more than that. But because of comedy, this is where I ended up. And I took it, I accepted it.

I opened up my heart to it and I fucking accepted it. So that's the moral of the fucking story, that you got to be crazy to do this. Okay. I don't know why people may, you know, I understand we lost a great talent last week. But it's amazing how all these fucking people came out that would work with their own things about the human mind.

And they have no fucking idea. All of a sudden, we didn't know he was crazy. Look at early Robin Williams fucking early, early, a catcher rising star. Those performances, he was fucking nuts. Yeah. You know, I bumped into him in 1985. This is a true story.

I bumped into him in Snowmass Village at the mall there. At the, we used to be a store, used to be Commander Video and he would come in there. And one day he came in and I saw him. And as soon as he walked in, guys, I smelled him. Oh, yeah. He smelled like B.O. That's when he was doing blow.

And he wouldn't sign Moscow on the Hudson for me. I asked him, could he sign Moscow on the Hudson? He said, no, and he ran out of there. And it shocked me, you know. But I could tell then there was some, something, you know, something. Yeah. I'm gonna mix and blow.

There's something. So let's kill this subject right now. I mean, my heart just goes out to him. I just think it's like kind of how we were talking about how people are negative about the eyes, about the challenge that some people let go. Well, why do we care that this comedian killed himself and there's people who do it every day?

I think the hopefully what will happen is, is that just because everyone loves Robin Williams, is that hopefully someone who was getting close to that will get help. But yeah, you're right. I mean, it's not, it's not every comedian. One fucking person. Yeah.

If it helps one fucking person, then it was great that it was brought to life. A lot of people sit at home and don't know what's happening. A lot of people, whether it's sleep apnea, whether it's depression creeping up on them, they don't know what's happening to them. They just think they're having a bad day and they're going to come out of this fog in a week.

They really don't. People don't know what, what they're walking into every fucking morning guy. So my heart goes out to you if you have depression or you feel something, you know, fuck the money, go get help, you know, whatever, call somebody, talk to people, you know, that's the number one thing. I had a friend that had the beginnings of it

and I would talk to him and even me as crazy as I was. I'd never, I never tipped out around it, but I never was really full tilt Joey Diaz. Because full tilt Joey Diaz will work with you three or four times. And then after that, he'll grab you by the shirt and tell you not what's wrong with you, but all the good things that are going on in your life.

And this is why you have to overcome this because you do have all these good things. That depression just tells you all the bad things in your life. I'm going to come in and grab you by the fucking neck and tell you you're a bad motherfucker and that you have one bad thing. So take care of it because if you don't take care of it,

it'll bleed into all your other good things like the coke addiction I had. It's no different. All these things, you don't think they affect you, but they bleed into every single avenue of your life. When you're a carpenter, if you look up and hit your fucking nail with the thing, it affects your career,

it affects you in every single way. It also affects you when you go out. What do we know what these cops are going through? Did you ever think of that? So before I judge anybody on this situation, whether it's Ferguson, I always think about what were they going through the minute before this happened.

That cop from Ferguson, did he just come from a domestic violence dispute where the guy had a knife? Did he just see somebody? You understand, bro? There's so many variables. When they did that colonoscopy and they put me out, they said to me, they made somebody come and drive.

Could I drive home? Fuck yeah, I could drive home. But they made somebody come and drive because they said you might make bad judgments. The day I kidnapped Vella, who called here the other day while we were doing the podcast, I had done one of those things. I could have fought it in court and said that,

hey, I was put out. I couldn't make a choice. Listen, let's face it, I fucking kidnapped that kid and took his drugs. I knew exactly what I was doing. The point being is that, I don't even know what the fucking point being is. The point being is that it's Monday, August 18th.

All right? And it starts all over again today. So what? You drank over the weekend. It starts today. So what? You smoked the cigarette over the weekend. Hey, today.

So what? You ate 15 Taco Bells. So what? It all starts all over today. That's the beautiful thing about fucking Monday mornings. Let me give a fucking shout out to my sponsors here. As usual, one of my favorites. In fact, I was thinking about how I'm going to take

two shroom texts today to go to jujitsuonit.com. Onit just sent me some strong bone. Right after my surgery, I will be on Onit's strong bone all over again. I got two things from them. So I could strengthen my ligaments and all that. This is what Onit does. What are the fucking corporate?

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Two weeks for free. $8.99 a month. All right. $7.99 a month. Whatever. That's how I roll. $7.99 a month. Two weeks free.

Who gives you that? Who gives you that type of excitement? When you go to your fucking haircut. Does he cut your hair to do for two weeks? And then charges you? Fuck no. But that's what we're doing today. If you get HuluPlus off the fucking TV, it's $7.99 a month.

Here at the church, we give you two weeks for free. Two weeks for free. I don't give a fuck if you watch everything then tell HuluPlus to suck your dick. You're going to be, you're going to go fuck. This isn't that bad. What do I got to do, Lee? They press Joey or just go to joey.com and click on the bell. That's it.

Give me your credit card. Two weeks for free. $7.99 a month. Another one of my fucking all time favorites. Dollar Shave Club. What the fuck do you need a razor for with a flashlight and a hood and a thinking cap with a finger up your ass? All you need are two blades to cut you that are sharp.

Precisely. They fucking shave you. One pulls the hair. The other one cuts it. Who the fuck do you think you're dealing with? Joey Bananas? Why are you going to go stand on line with the rest of these muts at some pharmacy looking around and pay $20 for a razor?

No more. No more. Right? Let me get a water. I've got cotton mouth in that candy. Thank you, Lee. That's why I love it. I only took two waters today.

I'm over here dehydrated. That's why you go to fucking Dollar Shave Club right now. Well, first off, what do they do with Hulu Plus? HuluPlus.com slash Joey and Dollar Shave Club is Dollar Shave Club.com slash Church. You get razors for $1, $6 or $9 a month. Right. Sent right to your fucking door. Not only that, they got pre-shave.

They got the fucking cocoa butter. They got the fucking One White Charlies. They're not fucking around down at Dollar Shave Club. So do yourself a favor. Go to Dollar Shave Club. Get the razors delivered right to your fucking door. Boom. You open up.

You get an email and they tell you when they're going to fucking deliver them. $1. You get four fucking blades sent to your month. For $6, you get four double blades. And for $9, you get the double blades with the fucking owl strip. Your face is nice and smooth. Not only that, you can shave your pussy. You can shave your asshole.

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They got that one too. You can sit there and blow smoke at everybody's face. I'm Thanksgiving. Go to heatedesigs.com. And again, I want to give a shout out to Charming Jones for hooking us up. They not only are fucking great, but they're better tasting. This cigar is a motherfucker.

Next time you go to Atlantic City or Bethlehem or whatever casino you go to, you walk in there with a heatedesig and a fucking bow tie on. Who's better than you? Who's fucking better than you, Lee Cucksucker? Nobody. Nobody. That's right. That's right.

So anyway, what's up, Lee? Nothing. I'm stoned. What's going on? Something happened this week that really, yesterday I was sitting there. I was feeding the cats and I was just thinking. I was watching the UFC. You know, when they added Josh Kotzec to the show and he was pretty funny.

He took his two down. I watch all that stuff. You know, I'm an idiot. And it's funny that, in a way, I was like, where's Chail? You know, because Chail used to do that with those guys and he's gone. And something over the week, I watched MetaMorris last week when he got submitted and I read shit about Chail. You know what?

I realized something about Chail. I was like, I don't like this fucking guy anymore. Like, I just have no use for him at all anymore. There was a time when I liked him. And then I started feeling bad for Chail. And then I started realizing that the reason why I didn't like Chail. How old is Chail, son? Let me find out.

The reason why I was mad at Chail, son, is because of a fucking, you know, listen, man, I'm not the best looking guy in the world. My voice irritates me. He's 37. There's a lot of things that irritate me about me. The addiction, when I used to get high, looking myself in the mirror and I poked my face. That's why I have these scars. It's the thing I hated about, the quality I hated the most about myself,

that I didn't even know I was doing. And I see it all the time. In a couple of weeks when I came in here one morning, I was having a conversation with Lee. And Lee said something to me and I didn't get mad at Lee for what he wasn't doing. I got mad at Lee for saying it how he did. And I went off on Lee and Lee was mad at me for a few days. And then we talked.

And it's so weird when people don't claim responsibility, Lee. It destroys me because you're not living to your fullest. If you remove that thing from your life, oh my God, your life gets so much better. If people had asked me one thing that helped me the most was that I went up in front of that judge and he told me I didn't claim responsibility. And while I sat in that cell, yeah, I had a good time and don't do it and I laughed. But I thought about that line the whole time and not claim responsibility. And it was so mean.

I remember going in front of, I remember bumping into a district attorney at the supermarket in Boulder and I was talking to him and he looked at me and he was Joey. We have an investigator. We checked. You've been chucking and driving all your fucking life and making people laugh through everything and they forget how it's just Joey. You got to pay your dues. You got to do this, man.

You got to come fucking clean. And I would sit there and go, you're not supposed to come clean. You know, you're supposed to know, know, know, especially when people trying to help you, you know, and that was the thing that bothered me the most about jail that he, his talent wasn't up to par with his mouth. You know, when he fought a Henderson, when he fought John Jones, it was always his mouth that got him the fucking fight. But then when he get there, he got the same result over and over, which is the same thing

that D8 told me when he said, I was chucking and driving. That's what I was doing. I was chucking and driving through my life. And then when I didn't, instead of just going, you know what? I mean, after the second time they caught him, he's still talking about to his kids. He wanted to get his wife pregnant and that's why he did them. And I sat there heartbroken because you'll never grow as a human being. And I know jail.

I know that he came clean last week, but you know what? And his heart, he never came clean. And that was the biggest thing that I ever came in my life. Forget the fucking, forget the fucking Coke and the fucking being a piece of shit criminal and the shoplifting and the fucking lying and everything I was doing when I was at a young age. Everything changed because I looked at my perspective different of claiming responsibility. And you guys, you sit there going, fuck, we're turning this shit off. Joey's going on that rant about claim responsibility because everybody wants to move forward.

But for me, that was the biggest fucking hurdle. And once I overcame it, the world opened up. Forget about cleaning up on the drugs. Forget it. Because even if I were to clean up on the drugs league, I would still not come clean with myself about the things I'm doing. You know? Well, it's easy.

It's like even, I'm sure you have points right now like maybe what happened over the weekend where you were like, oh, I should have just told my wife earlier. Or I don't know in what way, but sometimes even when I try to, it's easy sometimes to blame other people. And it feels good because then you're not blaming yourself. But then when like, when you look back and you're like, oh, I should have done that. And oh my God, it's such a, it's such a, you know what? It's such a fucking, I don't like people saying something to me.

I would hate, I hate when somebody says, really, do me that favor, pick up that piece of paper. You know you had to pick it up for five fucking days. You know you had to go pick up that suit at the dry cleaners. We all know we got to do shit. And it's like, it destroyed. And then when you tell me the reason why you didn't do it, I do the same. You know, I do the same in my mind. But then I go, you know what?

Fuck everything. Now I got to get my car in traffic and pay my dues for not going. You know, that's how I be. You know, and it's just so many different fucking things. You know, the gym for me, like right now I'm talking to you, but 10 minutes ago when Danny, I was thinking about how I'm going to work out today. I have so many different things. Do I have time to zip into Wilshire, do the workout and zip back?

I really don't do that. So I mean, I got to run home, do paperwork, write a little bit and then go to the park and work out. That's important to me. But it's amazing how when I would go on the road, I would never work out and give myself excuses. I had to fucked up Jim. You can still put sneakers on and walk. Yeah.

You can still put sneakers on and walk. Well, I'm too, I don't have money for a gym. You can still put sneakers on and walk. Like there's always an answer. There's always a fucking answer, you know. And that that's it. I hope that jail overcomes this. I overcame it at 26.

And I think I fucked around with it for about another year. And then I got it and I moved on. And I got to tell you, it really helped me. And some people might say, oh, well, Joey, sometimes in your actions, you're kind of negative because you have to know yourself. You have to know yourself and what limitations you have and what not. What I want to try something I'm not going to fucking like. Why?

I try everything. I practice everything I preach here. You know, I practice fucking getting up early. I practice fucking doing something every day. All we need in this life is to be 1% better every fucking day. Every day when I wake up, I'm like, you know what I'm going to do today? I'm going to be a little better than what I was yesterday. I'm going to say fuck one last time.

I'm going to say fuck one less time. I'm going to say shit one less time. I'm going to, I'm going to, you know, it's just so many fucking things. And we'll leave with that. We'll be back Wednesday fucking night. You savages. Eight o'clock. We got a great guest coming in.

Don't worry about nothing. You know, we always take care of you. What's with the questions? What's with the questions? Cocksucker. So, J.R., I love you. Robin Williams, my hair goes out to you. And I hope you motherfuckers had a great podcast.

I know I had a great time. It was fun. You know, you've no shows coming out? I got new gods. I got joeydeas.net. Go on there. Look at the dates I got coming up. Go get yourself a ghee patch.

I'm finishing up with these mugs and these ghee patches in the shirt. And I'm moving on. I'm moving on. I'm getting a hoodie sweatshirt for the winter. We're going to get you some new fucking cool shit. So go there now. Oh, if anyone works with leather, I'm trying to do something with leather.

So if you can tweet me, then I'd appreciate it. And that's it, Cocksucker. I love you guys. Have a great weekend. I want to give a shout out to Onit, HuluPlus.com, Dollar Shave Club, and HiddieSix.com. All right, as far as you, Cocksuck, as a concern, have a great day, have a great week, and stay black.

Now that the show's over, don't forget to sign up for your free trial of HuluPlus. HuluPlus lets you binge on thousands if it shows, anytime, anywhere, on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tablet. Support this podcast, and get an extended free trial of HuluPlus when you go to HuluPlus.com slash Joey, or go to joeideas.net and click on the HuluPlus banner. Don't forget to sign up for DollarShaveClub.com,

get a high-quality resource center your door, each and every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now, go to DollarShaveClub.com slash church. That's DollarShaveClub.com slash church, or just go to joeideas.net and click on the DollarShaveClub banner. Also remember to go to Onit.com, and you use code word church to get 10% off your order of optimization tools,

like Alpha Brain, New Mood, Shroom Tech, anything like that. And go to hitesigs.com. That's hit the letter E, sigs.com. Use code word joeishchurch and get 20% off of one of the best-favorite pens on the market. What's a friend of mine? He drank whiskey, punch or drink the wine. He drank whiskey, punch or drink the wine.

We met down on the border, we a friend. Eat the salt and peel us out of can. Eat the salt and peel us out of can. The outlaws had a pen down at the door. The outlaws had a pen down at the door. Cisco, play me, blast and drink it, boy. Cisco, you got to love it, damn it. Cisco, play me, blast and drink it, boy.

You want to get it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Die, die, die, die, die. Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die. They wrote the sunset cause was made of steel. They wrote the sunset cause was made of steel. Taste the cream, no baselab, no the bill. Taste the cream, no baselab, no the bill.

Cisco kid was a friend of mine. Cisco kid was a friend of mine. Cisco kid was a friend of mine. Cisco kid was a friend of mine. Die, die, die, die, die, die. Cisco kid was a friend of mine. A sister kid for the friend of mine A sister kid for the friend of mine

A sister kid for the friend of mine A sister kid for the friend of mine A sister kid for the friend of mine A sister kid for the friend of mine A sister kid for the friend of mine A sister kid for the friend of mine A sister kid for the friend of mine A sister kid for the friend of mine

A sister kid for the friend of mine A sister kid for the friend of mine