Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #206 - Joey Diaz, Rich Franklin, Matt Fulchiron and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: August 21, 2014

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined by UFC star Rich Franklin and Hilarious comedian Matt Fulchiron live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for 50% off your first order. Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by mentioning the Church. Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/joey before September 1 for 20% off. Recorded live on 08/20/2014. Music: TLC - Creep Led Zeppelin - No Quarter

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of your first order. And lastly, go for all the oil and wax smokers out there. Go to naileditlife.com and mention joey as they get 20% off of the premiere vapor pen on the market. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Yeah, Wednesday night. The church what's happened now just when you thought it was saying fucking it three weeks from the time to anarchy bitches the hell with it. We're here four hours tonight. Oh, shit. Put away the frozen pizza. Tell mama to spray that antifungal on your nutsack. It's going down tonight. Fuck it, Lee. What's the story? What's up, dog? Where you been, baby? I've been with you. You went

shirt on and shit matching your eyeballs. Look at your fire tonight. A few minutes away. I got my weed license finally. I heard. Yeah, it's a really it was the best doctor experience of my life. I found it on Yelp. I went. They had a Stallone movie playing in the waiting room and took five minutes and I don't remember the aliens. There's a weird one. Oh, God, I haven't seen it. I saw the first one, but I didn't see anything after that. The expendables went down hard. I thought they were going to win the box office. They had everybody in the goddamn movie. I mean, it's a fun action movie if you want to see that. But after like the third one, they haven't watched Predator. Predator is just as good. You know what I'm saying? They kill the fucking people,

nobody sees. What happened yesterday? Went over to eat, right? Yeah, we went and got a very nice steak. Thank you very much. He watched my cats when I was gone. Listen, I hate vacations. I hate leaving the house. I don't care if my wife leaves the bay. I don't give a fuck. I hate leaving for three days. I think I keep thinking there's going to be an earthquake and something's going to happen to my cats. Right. I get really paranoid. I'm like, damn, something's going to happen. I'm going to feel guilty the rest of my life, my fucking animals. I left them. So I always get Lee to go at night time and then the babysitter goes in the morning. And I just, you know, it's a piece of mind for me. Right. Knowing that Lee goes over there because Lee sits with them and pats them and fucking picks

them up. And you just got his weed cart so he can chill real long now. But he hasn't got weed yet. I still haven't bought it. He has to go to the store. I'm going to send him to my store up the corner there with the hot chicks. Did you have to give him a reason? Did you come up with a reason? It actually, it's a real reason. I just, I worked nights for two years and I just, I have the worst time going to sleep. The two nights before I got the card, I was taking like Nyquil because I ran out of sleeping pills. I was like, fuck, it just, it doesn't feel good. So yeah. What happens to you at night? You just keep thinking. Sometimes it's thinking, but if it's thinking, I'll like leave sports center on and just pass out. That fucking Jewish

mind. It's nonstop. It's thinking of sandals and bannies. But people, if you have problems with girls, yeah, we should, you should spend the night with Jodie. That has to be your bed. That's your next book after your first book. Lee's very shy and so am I. I was always very shy. When you see a freak, you know that she's a freak. We all have that freak thing. Like you see a chicken with like that chick is heavy fucking duty. But I would never have guessed her. So let's just describe the chick. Leave it in fucking no. First off, they gave us the shittiest house, the shittiest table. They gave us the table by the bathrooms at that. What'd we go? Mortons. Mortons. Was it Mortons? Yeah. Or any Mortons? We went to Mortons. They

gave us the table by the bathroom and these women kept walking and they were all pretty good looking, but they were all like Cougarish. They were all like hot. At least 60s, right? No, 50s, 48. But there was just one Cougar had big titties and just on her face. It's like a neon sign that said, I want cock. And I was talking to Lee and we didn't know and I must have said a lot. I go, look at this one here. All she needs is a couple of cognacs. Yeah. And she's ready to fucking go. Well, she heard it. It was better because on the way in, you said it on the way out, you said it again louder. And then she looked at me and she kept walking. And then like two minutes later, she came back and she goes, I don't know if you're married or not, but this is my card.

Holy fuck. She heard it. She didn't even ask for it. No, you could always see when they were rolling away. You did. Well, when we come, you know, as a comedian, you have to, I always look at chicks and I'm like, that's just no fucking good. I was at Calico Casino with Tom Segura and some girl took a picture with her brother and the tits were out and all that. And I just her body moved and I said to her, how dirty of a freak are you? And her and her brother left and 10 minutes later, this girl came back and she's like, how did you know? You gotta be an idiot not to know you're a nasty fucking savage. No, but there's girls who dress like provocatively. She wasn't this one wasn't like a big pink dress. Like the ones. It's not the provocative ones. Fuck those

dirty animals. It's the ones that are hiding the fucking weapons. Mass destruction. I'm saying that's the one. Oh my God. It was, it was amazing. It was amazing. She came over. I don't know if you're married. You had her laughing and like she, she stayed for like five minutes just like laughing at everything you said. And I was in the call until I'm married, but thank you. We were talking about my friend how I could spy the freak because I would ask them. And she would have said, yeah, they don't tell you the truth. Sure. Real animals will tell you. Fake animals will say, oh, no, you know, whatever. But so we got Matt Fultrans and him. Yeah. Yeah. What's up, dude? What's up? And the man is still Mr. Rich Franklin from Columbus, Ohio. What's

happening, baby? What's going on there, man? I don't fucking know Rich Franklin. How do I start? Every two weeks, I bump into a fighter. You know that what's his name lives in the studio city? The big black guy, Chuck Congo. How the fuck does Chuck Congo walk around studio city and not get shot? Big black dude lives in the studio fucking city. I didn't know that. That's because it's because he has a French accent. That's what they love. They're like, oh, you're safe. It's amazing what a fucking neighborhood of suckers we live in for a foreign accent. Like people are fucking looking for work every day in this town. If you're white, you'll never get a job. If you will have an English accent, Australian walking to any agency. You're set. And you're set. They'll make

you answer the fucking phones. But I was thinking about something. I swear to God, that's the main thing. Right. For somebody to answer the phones with an accent, but they never have like an African motherfucker answering the phone. Right. Given your quality on agency is like, oh, you know, like, I can't do an African, whatever. It's always in Australian, English or French, where I go to there's a dark skinned French dude with white hair. Every time I look at him, I just see 20 chicks sucking his dick. That's all I see. Like he talks to me and all I see is him like by a pool, like chicks waiting online, like begging to suck his dick. He's got everything that they like in Hollywood. They got the French accent that, you know, they're well, he's a yoga teacher. That's

it. Yoga teacher, a little tattoo, an accent. It's a couple of college philosophy classes. Yeah. A couple of college philosophy and you hang out at the coffee shops. Quote a book or two. You'll have a chlamydia fucking year card, like one of those yearly chlamydia cards. Who do you think met full time? I think you're absolutely right, dude. I think an accent will take you very far. It really is amazing. Especially if it's out of place. Well, Americans are very suckers for an accent. You know, I was at Justin Fortune's place the other day and he's Australian. And you have a conversation with him and you have a conversation with most Australians, most likely a dude that plays X-man Wolverine. Yeah. They over fucking do the accent for chicks. Chicks

love that shit. Jim Short, a funny comedian from Australia. It's all, his accent isn't that Australian anymore. He's been here forever since he was a teenager. But when he gets on stage, no, well, when he gets on stage, this shit gets turned the fuck up, you know. Does everyone loves it. Does it work the same for us if we go overseas though? I don't know that it does. No, they hate us. They hate us no matter where the fuck we go. I mean, trust me, I've been around the world enough to know that. But there's got to be a couple pockets of country somewhere where they're like, Oh, I love your accent. Work on your Canadian accent. You know, maybe, but it works the same for girls too. Like a hot girl gets even hotter. She has like a cool accent, like an English

accent. Yeah, I forget. There's it like, like even Penelope Cruz, like a Spanish accent, something like that. That's right. And, uh, and, uh, and blow shit. Yeah. She was calling me a fucking faggot. But that always, so for women, cause you're fucking faggot, like, fuck you dirty bitch. But if a woman calls you a fucking faggot, it's like, okay. Yeah, elegant. All of a sudden, I'm a faggot. Who cares? I went to London and I saw this big, big black dude look like biggie Smalls and I got an elevator with him and he, uh, he just bust out the English accent and like, what floor are you going to? And I'm like, I almost started laughing. That's how ignorant I am. I almost started laughing at this big, tough looking motherfucker with an English accent.

It's amazing. It's like a joke. It's amazing when you see somebody and you think you, you preconceived notion of what they're going to sound like. I always tell people you really want to see the real deal. Next time you're in New York City, go to 77th and Broadway and go to a Cuban restaurant called La Calida. It's a Chinese Cuban restaurant. You've never seen that before in your life. What do they sound like? Me talking Spanish. Real fag. It was Cuba had the biggest Chinatown for a long time until like 1968. Cuba had the biggest Chinatown. In fact, Fidel don't fuck with them. But some of those Cubans came over and opened up Chinese restaurants, especially East Coast. Yeah. And that's when I was grown up,

there was like, I'm Bonacina, the Chinese bell. Fuck it. Tremendous. You get rice and beans, a spare rib. What are you going to get that egg roll? What are you going to get that kind of shit? In Silver Lake, they got a, the place that, uh, it's all Mexican dudes and it's a sushi restaurant. They wear the fucking sushi outfits. They're Mexican though. It's amazing. There's no respect. Go to a Benihana. The host is Chinese. Everybody else is fucking Mexican. I went to, listen, bro, I was in Paducah, Kentucky last weekend. Oh, you get close to my hometown. We ain't fucking around, right? And I went to Alhans, uh, Japanese steakhouse. My wife goes, look, this is a Japanese steakhouse. How back are the beat? There was a Buffalo Wild Wings and

it was all just Japanese. No, but this is no, but this is all just like concept restaurants in this area. This is no shit about Paducah. We walk in, we're walking, but the, my feet are sticky. Oh no. Like they haven't mopped. I'm like, uh, I said, fuck it. How back are they be? I grew up in New York. I said, I've eaten at these places before we sit down. Every waitress is pregnant. Every waitress was fucking pregnant. The two dudes, one dude was really Mexican and the other dude was something else with two earrings and shit. Right? That's Japanese and Kentucky. Not one Japanese person was in his restaurant, but I saw something. Jerry wrote your dear friend of ours has a joke about doing comedy in Texas,

Arcana, and there was a magician in front of him and there were cowboys and the magician started doing magic and the cowboys were like, stop it. That's the work of Satan. You know, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. You know, and it's pretty funny thing. I saw it. Yeah. There was a guy with a cowboy at and the Mexican, you know, they take the egg and they throw up in the end of flight and it gets in the hat and the guy was like, do that again. And I looked at my wife and I'm like, look at Jerry Roach's joke playing out right in front of us. It was fucking crazy. But I noticed that there was no Japanese people, but the people from Kentucky, you didn't expect to see Japanese. At least one fucking half a Japanese. How about a half a Japanese in New York, those Indians that own the casino,

they don't fucking have feathers. At least a Chinese guy or something. They look like me, the guys that have casino, but they'll argue that they have one sixteenth Indian. Right. So that's how they open up the fucking casino. There's no fucking guys that look like, you know, the guy from my Lord Josie Wells 10 beds. Ain't nobody looking like 10 beds and that shit. It's amazing. There's not a Japanese person left in a Benny Island. Right. But what about Kentucky? Is there anyone? Is there any Asians in Kentucky at all? There's gotta be. 10, 8. It just depends. I mean, it depends if you're in a place like Paducah, no, but if you go to like Lexington or, you know, if you're Louisville, Louisville or just south of Cincinnati, the river there, you think? Right.

The pockets of Asians. Are you from Cincinnati? Yeah, Cincinnati. What a fucking lucky man you are. Why was that? The big motherfucking red machine. That's as good as it gets. You were too young and shit. No, I was, I was. You were too young and shit that all this country don't remember the big fucking red machine. I was young, but I do, I do remember it barely. The excitement of the city. But then all, all we, all we had after that was our, our 91 reds. They swept the A's and that's it. And then when we had the bingles every year and every year it's like, this is gonna be our year this year. It's, uh, if, if, you know, they made a movie a couple years ago with Brad Pitt and the other kid, Jonah Hill called Moneyball. Yeah. Yeah. I was about these fucking computers.

If you did your homework, Moneyball was the 73 Cincinnati reds. Yeah. They didn't have no home run hitters. They had Eric Foster, I think. Everybody was hitting singles and stealing bases though, till you lost your mind. Like if you watch classic baseball and you see Cincinnati reds playing, stop it and watch two innings and watch what Cincinnati did. Sparky Anderson used to tell them, listen guys, I don't care if we win or lose, our job is to fucking make the pitcher break. Like we're going to break him. Like he's going to walk off the mound and go, I'm done. I'm never going to play baseball again. This is fucking absurd. Like nine and 10 pitch of bats and, you know, like, like everybody steals. Everybody fakes the steal. They bunting. It was so unorthodox

baseball and you had, you know, you had like, well, there wasn't a DH back then, was there? Well, they're the national league. Okay. Yeah, that's true. So it was, it was like fucking, like they just had this, this, this lineup that was money. Like I think Bench was, he always batted for it. And Pete Rose was like fit to six. Tony Perez was like first and Joe Morgan. What year? I'll get it. I'll pull it up. 73. It was a monstrous lineup. I mean, they ruled an iron hand for like five years. They had just fucking beat bitches up. But for me, as if I think of any, any sporting event that took me, they had to be Marquette against North Carolina and the finals in 1978 when they played in our cup. That was a great basketball game because the guy was quitting.

And it's got to be my favorite events were fucking Cincinnati when they played the Boston Red Sox. That whole series, that's, if you fucking put a gun to my head or not, that's my favorite World Series of all time. That was just, are you allowed to say that? What? Being from New York. Are you allowed to say that? I don't give a fuck. I'm not. You don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I, you know, I'm Cuban. Baseball is in our fucking soul. So in my house, my mom was a Red Sox man. Right. And I was a Cincinnati Red fan, but I liked the Red Sox too. How was she a Red Sox fan? She was a Met fan and a fucking Red Sox fan. I don't fucking know. I'm not going to sit there and argue with her. I didn't give a fuck.

She was a Red Sox. So I knew if Cincinnati lost to the Reds, I would not stop getting tortured. Like everything would be Boston Red Sox soup today. You know, Boston Red Sox shirt, she just torment me the whole fucking winter. So I got on my hands and these are my Jesus. If you ever came through from me, you got to come fucking through now. You're praying? I had a prayer. You're praying to Jesus? Oh, it's everybody. The fucking Buddha. All three of them. The Santeria priest. I fucking prayed to everybody because I could, but that's my all time faith. That's what baseball should be. Everybody wanted home runs

and stuff like that. Like, and it wasn't that it was with Sparky Anderson was doing those. You know, Goldberg, whenever I see Goldberg, that's all we talk about. When Sparky Anderson died, it was hysterical because I was in the plane with Rogan. I go, Rogan, did you give your condolences to Goldberg over Sparky Anderson? He's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Who's Sparky Anderson? I go, go get the phone and text him. He goes, he's not going to text me back. Watch. Text him back right away. That's what Cincinnati Boy will do. Cincinnati Boy. That's fucking amazing. I go, though, you don't understand. To some people, that that was my life watching that. And then I caught it five years ago in

the hotel room. I just happened to catch a classic baseball and I was fucking breathing heavy because I couldn't imagine being in that picture. So the guy gets a single, that guy that gets a single, he's going to steal whether he makes it or not. It doesn't matter. They're just doing this to ruffle the picture. Yeah, it has won't give me the order they were in, but catching was Johnny Bench. First base was Tony Perez. Yeah. Second base was Joe Morgan. Yeah. The shortstop was Concepcion. Yeah. The third baseman was fucking Menke. No, fuck Pete Rose. Pete Rose was playing left the corner. They always had them mixed up. That computer is wrong. He played like four, five positions. Pete Rose played four, five positions. Really? Yes. You have no fucking idea what this was.

Turn that computer off. Turn that fuck. This was craziness. Have you, have you seen, have you seen Pizza Documentary 41-92? No. Oh, it's, it's amazing. Oh, then it's done. I watch this weekend. And he's funny. I get goosebumps talking about that shit. What do you think about him not being in the Hall of Fame? Like, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, we know he's in the Hall of Fame, right? He's in the Hall of Fame. He's the fucking guy at the door at the Hall of Fame. Yeah. But, you know, before I get off there, you know, when, when Bench got hurt, Plumber used to fucking back him and Bench would play first base and Tony Perez would shift. This was a crazy team. Yeah. This was a crazy fucking team. This was anybody can do anything.

And you had to, you got to pitch, you got to pitch, dog. Get out there. What? Get out there. That was fucking baseball to me. That was it. Menki. I forgot all about fucking Menki. I swear to God, that's the first time I heard that name. Fuck him. Yes. It's, it's, that was real baseball. So after that guy, once Morgan got on, he was going to steal. Now you got one out and a guy on for a second. That's it. That's it. Now comes the meat of the fucking rotation. You had like Concepcion, Bench, and like Perez or something. You had, and that's it. And then Rose was lurking. So now forget it. By the time Rose went up, you were already to nothing. And you had one out and a guy on second still playing. Come on, I'm gonna steal from you. And by this,

this guy would turn and he'd walk. Then the guy would move one and then there you go. And next, you know, they go up to the rotation one up two times. This picture when he goes in, he's fucking mesmerized. You can't take that shit. Wow. Didn't Johnny Bench get his own TV show? Like a Saturday morning show? Lee, anybody? He looked that up. Look that up. I feel like he did. I think it was after he went to San Diego, though. I think the San Diego mascot was involved. That's a bird, right? I don't follow sports for shit. When you better get it together. Yeah. Well, that's why I got Lee. Look that shit up. The baseball bunch from 92 to 85. All right. He's got Google. He's 82. He didn't have to follow sports if he turns out to be. So when did you retire?

Technically, I haven't never said that. I have one fight left on my contract. And I've been working for one FC over in Asia. It's another fight organization, good fight organization. And I still have a fight left with with UFC. If I fight, I contracted by the UFC to fight with UFC. But otherwise, I'm working as an executive with one FC for now. So we'll see, see what happens in the upcoming future. It's good to have you here, man. You're looking to be fucking how that we're talking. We're talking since any reds. Like I didn't even know that was going to happen. That's what the podcast is. That's what we do here, though. The same, you know, like I said, that was my end. So I always had a soft spot. I had an uncle who drove me down to

Cincinnati, got me a windbreaker jacket with rows on it. Number 14. And that was it. I didn't take that motherfucker off. So do you happen to be a Bengals fan too? No. No, I bet against the Bengals. No, no. You said, look, it's all randomly picked in the Diaz house. You know, all the teams. So who's your football team then? At that time, when I was growing up, I liked the Steelers. I like the Jack Lambert. I know, I know it's anti Cincinnati, but they're American. I'm Cuban. When I came here, that's all I wanted to be was an American. So yeah, the Minnesota Vikings were okay, but fuck them. I'm going to say Cowboys. Yeah, Cowboys is America. Well, here's the problem. Here's the problem. All right. You're

talking about when I was 10 in comparison to when I got older. Okay. When I was 10, I fucking, I just, I just loved the Pittsburgh Steelers. And then he woke up and then I woke up and once I saw the Dallas Cowboys, I worked at motherfucking magic. He's a bandwagon fan. No, no, no. I like that. I like these teams. You like Tom Lange? No, no, no, no. In the 70s, I liked the Steelers. In the 90s, I was more, in the 80s, I was a 49ers fan. I always liked Pittsburgh because I always liked Pittsburgh because they always had the lowest pay room in football. I like them because of that. It's a blue collar football. Yeah. When I was a kid, I went to indoor, no, offense, defense football camp. And it was Jack Ham and Jack Lambert's football camp.

And to me, I was fucking blown away when I saw Jack Lambert hit and the shit he used to do was just amazing, you know? And I always liked every, the thing I liked about Cincinnati was it was always a fucking snow storm. Oh, that's what I'm talking about, baby. Oh, that's football. Yeah. Okay. That's fucking football. That shit with the sun out and the blue and the flying the airplanes going over and people saluting the flag. Fuck you. Get out there. Get some fucking mud and some ice cocksuckers. Listen, I still remember when the Niners played against Cincinnati that year, like when Joe Montana and all that. Oh, yeah. They were playing when Kenny Anderson was talking about it back. No, that was, that was a Boomer Sison. No, an 83. Oh, I thought you're

talking, no, the Super Bowl game. No, no, I'm talking about the early. That's when I was, that's when I started discovering the Cincinnati Bengals with Collingsworth and that whole team. Ken Anderson, I think was the quarterback or whatever. Yeah. Doug, every time you watched Cincinnati, it was a snow storm or they were blowing fucking steam out of their mouths or people were shaking. It's like, like what's constant, like the Greenway Packers. It was always like that. You know, and it's so weird how when I, at that time, that's who CBS was putting on. I was putting on Cleveland or Cincinnati and, you know, and you switched to the NFC game, which was the Niners. Everybody always, you know, after, after like midseason,

they always just try to show you the teams that they're pushing, you know, to get ratings and shit. It's amazing. So, but no, no, it wasn't that I was a bandwagon guy. I just never liked the fucking Giants. I liked Lawrence Taylor as a football player. How he dragged people, how he tortured people, but I didn't like the Giants as a whole. You know, I liked the, and then I just stopped liking sports all together. I was telling him, I watched football this last week. It was on and he goes, I can't believe you're watching. I go, I just need to scratch an itch. Six months, you need 10 minutes of a football game and you're all right. I'm good enough for the fucking whether it's preseason or not. So what, you're not into sports at all anymore? Am I into

sports at all? I can't name teams and coaches, but I, you know, enjoy watching a game. You're like me. It's like you're busy and you don't have, you don't have like, there was a time in my life where I sit down and watch like ESPN, like watch the game recaps NFL network. You watched the fast forward games. You're watching draft, you know, all that stuff, man, the combines, like I'm especially with football because I grew up playing football my whole life. And I'm like, I was on it all the time, like watching that stuff. And then you finally get to a point like where you just, you don't have the time, you don't have the time to keep up. It's like, it really is like sports is like a soap opera for a man. Sure. Really, you know, especially now, like in

social media, who's saying what on social media, who's getting traded, what team, what's going on, like, you know, the big hype this year was like LeBron going back to Cleveland, you know, and like people care about that as much as they care about actually watching them play. And so you get caught up in all the minutiae of all this stuff, especially with baseball season. Like I've never been a big baseball fan because if you turn your TV off for four days, your team just went from first to last in their division and you're like, how, how did that happen? It goes for like 10 months. It goes from February to October. It's way too long, but it's kind of the cool thing about fighting because I was thinking about it like a week or so ago that I love all the Boston

teams because I'm from there, but it's kind of weird that it's just based on where you're from. Like it would almost be more fun to like do what Joey didn't pick a player. So we liked, but with fighting, it's kind of like NASCAR where like you could have families against each other. And it's kind of interesting. Well, you know, I'll tell you what changed like when the sports went to free agency. I remember being a kid, I grew up, I grew up as a skins fan as a kid. Same thing. My dad bought me a legged garage sale. I got a little Redskins windbreaker, you know? And so I had this thing and growing up and prior to that, like, you know, I watched, I watched the Redskins all up until probably like the late 80s, early 90s when they won, I think they won their

last, their Super Bowl in 91, but prior to that, the NFL had gone to free agency. And so one season, you're watching your team and it's the same players on the same team year after year after year and then Reagan, yeah. Thaisman. Exactly. You know, they had the whole policy and then, you know, they're set of linemen and all that stuff. What was the name of those guys? The Hogs. The Hogs. The Hogs. And the Hogs. Yeah. What a tremendous. But then all of a sudden, like next season, like six key players are on different teams and you're like, what, what, and I'm a kid from Cincinnati following, you follow like players, you follow stories, you know? So, yeah. So you watching live when Thaisman got his

leg crouched? I was. Absolutely. By his guy Lawrence. Yeah. Oh, right. Right. Right. I think I stopped, I watched sports till maybe a year after high. And this is what really happened. A year after high school, the year that John Riggins beat up the killer bees. John Riggins is bad ass. John Riggins is bad ass. I had a roommate, a Ferney Basasudo that we grew up together. We played, he was a big time football player, but he couldn't go to college because he was just blind. He played an offensive guard. He was just blind and I had moved back to Jersey and he goes, you want to live in my basement? We fixed it up and he came to me one day and he's like, hey, man, you guys are always talking about this gambling shit. How do you gamble? And I explained to him

and one of our friend's dad was a bookie. I could just call Pelican's father, you know, and he'll hook you up. And he bet the first time he bet, he bet 100 time parlay and he fucking won. Oh, wow. 100 time parlay. I think I forget what he won. Did he develop a problem? Because if you have beginner's luck like that on shit, he got beginner's luck. We went out to this restaurant. We got lobster from Diablo and he just went on a fucking tear and he made like, he was up 60 fucking grand. Like it was his job now. Oh, I got a new job. Yeah. And he's up 60 grand. He's like, this is, it's that easy. Every week. Yeah. We are 21 maybe and this guy's up 40 grand and he's got it under his fucking bed. Right. Okay. And then he's got a jar thing,

like, uh, this was way before the water things. He had like a Rossi, martini and Rossi. Right. The big things of wine. He had to fill the $100 bills. I mean, this guy was killing him. And he worked at his dad's restaurant, HMB Diner in Edgewater, right where they shot Copland. Okay. Right there. If you see that where that bar is, you look that's HMB Diner. And, uh, he was up like 40 grand. We would go out every night, get cocktails. He was on fire. He had two bookies strung out. You know, I would ask him, what do you need? You know, it was a May and then it just started. It was just a slow decline. Like once January of 83 came, it was over. Did he keep keep betting? And then Super Bowl weekend came and it was

the Redskins against the killer bees from Miami. Right. And he bet everything on fucking Miami. The whole wine box. And he sat on everybody's bets. And I never forget, he just lost everything. And he had to go to the bookie and make a payment deal. Yeah. And the guy who knew his father would come into the diner. So he had to get a job from a six to two in the morning, bumping gas. Nice. And then from six in the morning to whatever at his father's diner. Imagine if he didn't live in Jersey. You couldn't even get that job. Shit. I thought this was going to end up being one of the stories where he disappeared and nobody knows where he is now. No. Well, I'll tell you what, he never really recovered guys. How much did he lose? That was the peak of his life. He ended

up losing like 40 grand. And you're making 300 a fucking week. Yeah. You're paying 200 a week, you know, and in Vig and whatever the fuck he was paying. Like it took him a whole summer of working 75 hours a week and he paid the people off and that was it. And then I know he doesn't want sports anymore. But after that, it was like life happens. You know, you have to go to school and you start watching one quarter of a game. I remember in this country when Monday night football meant something. Sure. You didn't get, I remember fucking going, you know what, Lee? I ain't going on Saturday night because I want 40 bucks to go to Monday. That was it. Yeah. And this 20 years ago, Monday night was your big fucking night. You know, you went out on Monday

night, you sat at a bar, you got wings or a burger, you talk shit. You know, it was great. That, that, that went away. I don't understand how the fuck that went away. Well, there's no, there was no competition. Either was what the two other channels was the competition back then. Yeah. But still, it's still, it's on ESPN now and, and they got rid of the classic Monday night song too, you know, you know, what was it? I don't remember. It was something like that. Well, now they have Sunday night. This is how much the country changed. Well, when I was growing up Sunday night, you watch fucking Lawrence Welk, and then you watch whatever the fucking do with the animals. Right. Manimal. No, no, no fucking animal. The guy on NBC. What was his name? A

lawn, whatever, wild kingdom. That's what America did. Now they said fuck wild kingdom. Kids don't need to know about mountain lions. We got the discovery channel if you want to. No, no, that's what it's a family night, but now they put football on and I get it. I get it. It's all for Vegas. You know, I always say this. Thursday night is the last supper, whether it's college football or football, that's how they get you. Then they give you Friday night off and then Saturday they nail one hand, Saturday late show, they nail the other one, then you bet Hawaii to come back, they nail your head, then Sunday you got the morning, they nail one foot, they nail the other foot, they stick a cross in your heart. Yeah. Monday night football is the

fucking thorn. That's all. It's the same thing. It's all, it's the same thing. When you're betting Hawaii late night on a Saturday night, you got a fucking gambling problem. Okay. You got to wait through four in the morning to get the fucking score in Hawaii. Oh my God. I remember that shit. So that's what happened with me. Once I didn't gamble or once I didn't have those people around me that I would cheer for them, then I said, well, I can't watch a fucking game. That's it. And that's why I don't like, I swear to God, I love the UFC, but I don't like on Fox Sports when they put the line under it. I don't like that. What does it mean? The line under the line? They put the betting line. Okay. That's it. That's the end of the sport. Now it becomes something else.

I enjoy it as a sport. I talk a lot of shit, but I've only probably bet two bets on the UFC. If you didn't bet Frank Yeager against Sean Sherk, you fucked up right there. You fucked up. Listen, he was on the climb. You fucked up right there. I've never, never bet on a MMA fight because, you know, I'll take, I'll take one. You're American. Yeah, you're Pete Rose, Jr. Yeah, exactly. I'm from Cincinnati. Hall of Fame, baby. Hall of Fame. You got to think about that shit. Yeah, exactly. So is it kind of weird doing something that people are betting on? Well, I'll tell you, it is just to back up. I used to teach high school math if you didn't know that. And I always tell people like, I'm a guy in this world who at one point in

time would put my signature on a piece of paper that kid did not want to take home. It was called Progress Report. Right. And then you fast forward and several years later, I'm the guy who a kid would be standing in line for several hours for to get my signature. This is really, really weird juxtaposition in life. I can remember the first time that I actually went to Vegas. And I mean, I've seen like, you know, I've seen my face, my face on billboards and I've been to like Tops, the trading card company, and had trading cards and my face on like blackjack tables and poker chips. And the first time I walked in and saw like betting lines on me, and unfortunately, I was the favorite the first time. I don't think I could have handled looking up and being like,

wow, I'm the plus 570. Really? So, but yeah, it's weird just to see that transition. But at some point in time, you just you get used to the fact that it's just part of the game. I just, it's like they took the virginity away from me for a guy like me. And I, you know what, I get it. But, you know, it's like, I'm always a guest of Joe's. I'm a guest of Dane's. When I see Dane, I always say, thank you very much for the tickets to the fight. I always behave myself, because I have to be better than, you know what I'm saying? Like, that's how I think in my head. When I take you somewhere, you got to be better than him. You got to, you know, it's like, I used to work for my in-laws 30 years ago. And they always said you were the hardest worker I had,

because I took pride in that, because I didn't want them to say, he don't work hard. He's just a brother-in-law. So my mentality is, so when I started going to the UFC, I was fucking around, but I would never bet. I tell people I bet to fuck around the videos, but I always felt guilty if I bet. So for me, the first time I saw the lines in a UFC fight, I just flipped. I just fucking flipped, because it becomes something else in my mind. It's not just two guys for the enjoyment. Now people are going to bail out on a Saturday night fight. Do you follow me? So now, instead of us just watching it, because Rich Franklin is fighting somebody, now I'm watching Rich Franklin, because I'm bailing out on Rich Franklin. I'm going to bet Rich Franklin to get

me back college football. I haven't lost college football all day on Saturday. I probably lost Friday night NBA basketball. So back to this shit. This is very interesting here. Get in here too. I'm in. I'm in. You know, I love you to death. I love you back. When did you go to college at? You see. University of Cincinnati. No shit. So you're all the way to the end. Oh yeah. Yeah. My friend went to University of Cincinnati. I didn't live on campus. I commuted there and drove in every day, drove home every day, and got my undergrad and my graduate there. So. And math, you're that good at math. No, I got my undergrad in math. And I think I could. I think I could have gotten my graduate. I'm a fairly intelligent fellow. However, there's something happens to people

between the time they get their bachelor's in mathematics and their master's in mathematics. They start doing things like tucking their jeans inside their socks and leaving one half, like one half of their shirt out. You know, like stuff like that, like snot on the handkerchief, visible for the crisis. Getting a little Einstein-ish, a little kooky. You know, the guy who's like figuring out, like, you know, theory of relativity, but can't tie his shoes or find his way home or remember his address. Bo the Colorado. Yeah. So I kind of, it's like, it's kind of like, you know, when you've gone out drinking and you know when to like cut off, like. Yeah, what's that like? You know what I'm saying? Honestly, I've never drank. Oh, okay. I've never drank. So I wouldn't

know. I'm like, I never drank my whole life. Right. And so I was like the best friend you could have had in college. Sure. You're right home. Exactly. Exactly. Now, when you were teaching math, were you active in any, were you wrestling or were you just going to a gym after school? Yeah, no, I, so I got, the first UFC was the year I graduated from high school. It was my, you know, that year, my senior year of high school. And so I was, after, legitimately, it was like the Rudy of my high school football team. I didn't even start. Was just, I graduated weighed 150 pounds, soaking wet and wasn't very fast, wasn't very strong, didn't have the God given talent, hit a growth spurt, my freshman year of college. By the time

I was like midway through my sophomore year, I came back and I looked like the guy who ate Rich Franklin rather than Rich Franklin. So people walk up to me like, Whoa, what happened to you? But I got involved in martial arts my senior year of high school. And then I was just one of those guys like I went to college, I trained and once if I take on a hobby, like, I'm either all in or I don't bother with it. And so I mean, I literally, I went to campus, took my classes, got my butt off the campus and I was training six hours a day every day. My senior year, one of my friends had dared me to, to take a fight, a local amateur fight. I did, I did well, led to another, led to another, started teaching, started, had a professional fight. My first pro

fight, I made 200 bucks. I was like, Whoa, I can make money doing this like chaching and just led to another fight led to another fight. And I was fighting the whole time I was teaching and by my fourth year of teaching, I thought, I wonder if I can actually quit doing, you know, do this full time. I picked up a guy who was kind of managing me at the time, managing my quote unquote career. And I talked to him about a consultant to him, he said, you know what, I think you do a really good job at this. So, you know, give us some thought. And we took some, we took some strategically planned fights that year to kind of position me into the UFC noticing who I was. And you got to remember man, back then like, I'm fighting in like 19, you know, 1998 was my first fight. I'm

showing up at places where there weren't a weight classes. Like, there'd be a, you know, I would walk in at like 205 pounds fighting somebody who was 260. Like this, these things happened. And it was just, it was a different sport back then where you just brought your own gloves, you know, like you're like here, I'll fight in these gloves. And they're like, okay, check, he's got his own gloves. And it's like, did anybody check those for actual padding? You know, it was that kind of stuff all the time. And the UFC was immediately televised, right? It wasn't something, it was like invented for television, right? Or no, no. When did it start? You said it started in 93. 93 was the first one. And actually, what really like the UFC, if you look at the

history of the UFC, like the Gracie family, who was, I mean, these guys are smart. The UFC was designed basically to showcase that martial art as well as in the hint, they were selecting people in various martial arts to basically show, they took a guy like Hoyce, who is very unassuming, and said, we're going to take a guy, we're not, we're not even going to take our like, I mean, it would have imagined like, because you look back in the day and you look at the early UFC fighters, you look like a guy like Ken Shamrock, and you expect him to be the toughest guy. I mean, that guy, he looked the part. And he was legit, like he was a legit MMA guy for all those early athletes at the time, you know, but they didn't want somebody to look like that out of the

Brazilian jujitsu camps. They wanted somebody that where people are like, what, this guy, this guy's beating guys like Dan Severin, like, you know, the beast, he's submitting the beast, like really. And so they did a good job with that. But you know, the UFC went through that period where they were, you know, they were banned in 48 states. And this is the time, yeah, this is the time, well, they had no rules, right? Well, they, I mean, it started with like three rules, you know, I remember no gouging eyes, no biting, no fish hooking. I saw a fight where someone was just stomping on this guy's balls. Yeah, yeah, no fish. Yeah, that was the fight when the guy ripped his ponytail. Dude, oh my God, every time I think of that, I laugh. No, he, he, I can't remember the

fight. I'm, oh man, it's on tip of my tongue too. It's not Eric Paulson. Who was the blonde hair guy? And he had his hand like woven right into this guy had a ponytail and it was like, you know, he fought the next time he fought, he had a nice little trim crew cut. Yeah, I'm done with that. So it was legal back there. It's just his handle. Yeah. But yeah, they moved towards sanctioning. But, you know, I like, I quit my teaching job in 02. And you know, the UFC, the first, the first ultimate fighter was 05. Oh, yeah, 05. No, oh, yeah, 05. So it was like, it wasn't until 05 where the popularity of this sport started taking off. And at that time, like I'm walking away from a solid job, you know, a good, good degree job, a career and tell my dad like, Hey, by the way,

I'm going to, I'm going to quit my job to go fight for a living. And my dad just was not a happy camper at the time. Right. You know, so, but yeah, it was, it was, it was definitely a different sport back then. But it started hobby. I had, I had no clue that I would do this professionally. These kids that you were teaching those years, you just keep in touch with them. Some of them. So yeah, I got a few that hit me up on email here and there. You know, I got about a half a dozen that, that stay in constant contact with me, maybe another half a dozen that just sporadically kind of hit me up here and there. And not to take you off thing, but today I finally got a hold of my eighth grade teacher. Did you apologize? No, he was one of

my main dudes. Wait, a barone or? No, I took him to meet my one, seventh grade. I was real tight with my teacher stuff. Oh, okay. Real tight. Cause I would figure, I would figure you could go one or two ways. Like you be in my class, I would either love you to death or I'd be like, man, this guy makes my job. No, no, I would bust your balls in the beginning. Once you took me outside and say, I'm here to help you. Yeah, I'll get you from the C. Hey, we're done. We're done. We're good. That's it. Now nobody can fuck with him. And that was my thing with these teachers, Mr. T. Once he told me you could do whatever you want, but this needs to be done. Yeah. Done. Barone, I, I fucking threw away his car keys last day of school with all his fucking keys. I threw him

in a garbage pail. He never found me. I had to go home, get his wife, didn't talk to me. But the first day of school, I was anticipating he's going to fucking kill me. He never mentioned it again. When I found out he was in the hall of fame for basketball, it was all low. Yeah. Like it was all low. Like what, what do you know all faithful? Free throws. Are you fucking kidding me? That was it. I, I, you know, and then this guy, I like this guy because he was, uh, he was the mayor of Weehawken. Weehawken is a town in New Jersey. When you come out of the bridge right there tunnel, and my father died in that town. We were in Union City and he died in that hospital, a heart attack, but he was the mayor of Weehawken before they developed that to look into New York

City. So he was the first guy that started taking racketeering and all that shit. They arrested him in the classroom. Oh, because he was also a teacher. He was also an eighth grade teacher. Wow. But he was solid. Like he was the mayor of Weehawken, but North Bergen is so corrupt that they were like, we'll play ball with you. You know, once you come on down here and teach, and he went to, wonderful. Why would a mayor of a town be an eighth grade fucking teacher? Well, this is like the, uh, this is like the 73 Reds you're talking about. Like, yeah, you're getting on out there and pitch for us. He also short stuff. I never before in my life, just go out there, give it a try. It's not that hard. It's a ball. It's like, girl, just throw the

fucking ball. Can you believe that Benz used to play first base? Nobody remembers that. And the guy that would relieve Benz was just a couple of pussy hairs, as good as Benz, Bill Plummer. Bill Plummer would rock with the best of them. Doesn't his son play for somebody? His son's a quarterback. Jake Plummer? He goes, yeah. Jake, he's been a son for a while. I think so. Something to do with that. But that's amazing that I wonder what those kids look at you guys. Like when they're at a bar now and all of a sudden they're watching UFC. Well, you gotta remember, I was fighting when I was teaching. I just wasn't in the UFC,

but I was fighting in these smaller shows. So you would go to class with a black eye? Oh, all the time. No teeth and shit. Yeah, that's right there. Kids love that shit. I got all my teeth there. Kids love that shit. Kids love you. If I had a teacher that came with a black eye, fuck, yeah. I come in on a Monday, just kicked the can over when I got a black eye and be like, I had a bad weekend. Well, especially in math, because a lot of math teachers aren't that inspiring and like, they're not that cool. The cool teachers are like the history teachers usually like somebody like English. Yeah. But I've had a cool math teacher. Dude, listen, man. Once you can threaten the kids, it makes it easier. Do you know how hard it is to make math cool?

Like for real. Oh, I hate it. I hated geometry. Algebra was quick. I just never understood shapes. I was fucking terrible. Yeah, but you know what? At least shapes you can see, man. Like algebra, like to me, it makes sense. But to a kid, like because I've been so I thought I always thought I was a good teacher because I had kids in my classroom who will just sit there and they're looking at you like, like you're speaking Chinese, right? And I at that level, I'm like, I don't understand how this algebra can confuse you this much. But I've been there before. I've been there just at a 500 level math course when I was taking when I was in college, when I was getting smoked by all these graduate, you know, these people that already they were taken as a graduate course.

And I'm the worst one in the class because I'm still an undergrad and they have like a year or two more math than me. And so I know what it's like to be that guy in a class. And that's what made me a great teacher, I think. But yeah, it's no matter how cool you are as an individual, you still got to come in and be like, Hey, guess what? Today, guys, we're going to learn how to find the foci of a hyperbola. No, I swear, it's fun. Trust me, just trust me, let's get into this. You know, math is how you look at it, though, guys. Math is how you look at it. Not for nothing, Richard. When I was coped up all those years, that's what I would do, man. A beautiful mind. I don't know. I would get coked up to the gills,

coked up to the gazils. You'd wake up the next day and be pages of math everywhere. Guys, we can pay the gas bill. I figured it out. Governments and set payrolls and budgets. He's got a cure for cancer and a notebook somewhere. So, but let me tell you something about math. And I, and I tell, it's like the other day, my, my, my in-laws made a fucking statement. And they're like, maybe the baby's having a hard time speaking because Joey's teaching her Spanish. You know, and I believe this shit. You know, I've been taking jiu-jitsu for 15 months and it's finally starting to click. Yeah. Okay. I'm the type of guy. I ain't fucking Johnny Genius. So, my algebra, I took algebra,

I freshman year. Remember, you could be a moron and they would give you college prep courses. Yeah. You're freshman, sophomore year. No, I was good at math. So, they gave me algebra one. I remember the teacher, he was gay as fuck. And the only reason why I went was Lisa Tritches in that class. You know, a pussy must have weighed 50 fucking pounds. And she used to wear clogs. I would just go in there just to look, to see what her monkeys looked like. Me and Glenn Conte, he's stinky. She would walk in the class and we'd just look at each other and just see her size of fucking pussy. And that's why we went. I didn't do too good the first two quarters. And I would fuck with the teacher. And one day he pulled me aside. He's like, I might be a faggot, but I'll

bitch-lap you to death. And I was like, done. We're solid. And I asked him, can he- Quit looking at that pussy and start paying attention. Yeah. And he asked me if I could come in one day and work with him. I worked with him. And after that, he opted to be my algebra teacher for three years. Once you get math, you got it. It's just getting it. And for some people, it takes some people longer than others. And once you see it, same thing happened to me. I've learned the biggest lessons about life through math, because math makes you analytical. When I went to college, I was an econ major, right? And I didn't know. I couldn't get it, guys. I couldn't get it. And I was a C.E.O.P. dude, a minority

dude. So I went to the department. I go, look, dog, I can't get this. And they said, no problem. You get two hours of tutoring. We're going to hook you up with an Arab guy. And right there, I was like, I'm quitting tomorrow because I didn't know nothing about Arabs or Persians. I knew nothing. I'm a fucking Cuban kid from Jersey. And the guy's name was Mohammed Zabeed. And that dude worked with me three or four hours the same. I was like- Did he threaten you like the other guys? Dog, let me tell you something. After a week, me and him became- it was the biggest lesson ever. I ate some of the fucking Habib food. I didn't eat the hummus. I never succumbed to hummus.

Once you eat hummus, you're done. Have you ever tried hummus, ever? Yes, it's disgusting. The humans invented hummus. Garbanzo beans. What are you fucking- He don't like hummus. How do you not like hummus? I don't like it though. You don't like ranch? You don't like hummus? I like ranch dressing. That's like being Asian and not like rice or something. No, I don't like hummus. It's disgusting. Wow. What did he call Arabian spackle? Spackle. It's Arabian spackle. You see those houses in the kingdom and all those movies that made a fucking hummus when you see those little shacks they got

out there. Instead of a gingerbread house, it's a hummus house. So this teacher, everyone knew he was gay. And this is back in the day. He obviously said- He felt comfortable saying, hey, I'm a faggot. No, he didn't tell me. He called me afterward by myself. Okay. I must have goofed on him and said, hey man, I might be a faggot, but I'll light you up. Okay. And he said, you know, if you need help with this, come to me like a man, don't be a fucking faggot. So I went to him and he helped me. And then once I caught on to Matt, he was done. I was getting bees and shit. He was like blown away. Like what happened? And I'm not being an idiot to get go. But once I get going, you're finished. You know what I'm saying? You're fucked. They're

finished though. I'm not good in the first round. And if I could last- I'm still out of the gates too, man. If I could last for the one minute left in the second round and get my composure and remember what muscle memory you taught me. You're a finisher. You're a finisher. I'll fuck you up. I'll get you. I'll get you. If the wind lasts long and shit, then I'm good, you know, but it's people always, I hate when people like get turned off by Matt. Matt is fucking easy, man. If you get in that motherfucker. I know what you're talking about being the worst in the class because an algebra, they tried to move me from like regular to like the advanced stuff and I lasted like two days in that and I had to go down. But in geometry, even in the regular class,

I was the one kid in back that I don't understand one word they're talking about. And it feels terrible. Like science was like that for me too. I wasn't really good at science. What about chemistry, dude? That's when shit gets fucking nutty. I said that. That was- Do you- can you handle chemistry equations? Yeah, yeah, I can now. Oh my god. Funny story. So when I resigned from teaching, I resigned in O2 and then I was still working in at-risk program for like- I worked in the at-risk program up until about, I don't know,

about a week before I won my title. I was teaching two nights a week. And so these kids, they were sitting this classroom on computers and they do all their curriculum on computers, but the teachers are there as to be like, you know, to help them. Like, you know, to do them and help them with tests and all that kind of stuff. And they do their homework on the computer, their tests on the computer. And so I was the only math certified teacher in the entire building. So all the students would wait until my days of the week to ask math questions and science questions. And chemistry obviously is one of the high school courses they got to take. So they come in and they're like, all right, I'm working on this. So, you know, these two items form an ionic bond. With this

item, it's a covalent bond. I'm like, oh my god. I'm like, I'm gonna have to go back to my electron configuration. So I had to go back in and relearn. Like, I had to relearn like high school chemistry just to be able to tutor these kids. But fortunately, when you have a math background, like, it translates to sciences across the board fairly well. Right. But of, you know, except for biology. Yeah. Apology was terrible. That's just a lot of words. That's as far as what subject did you like? I was history, English. And then when I got to high school, they started having video classes that's, that's all I cared about. You're good at that. I could get a good watching TV. No, well, like I like make it. But like, I was the type of guy, if I didn't like it, I would just get,

I could do enough work to get like a C plus B minus. And then I was happy. And just if I, if I wasn't interested in the class, but like cool history classes, cool English classes I would actually work at. But I was lucky enough that I could do the basic minimum and get like a B minus. And I was like, that's fine. I didn't like geography early on because I didn't know what I didn't really give a fuck about where everything was. I didn't give a fuck. I gave a fuck when New Jersey was. I could get it. But then all of a sudden you're stranded in Kentucky with nowhere to eat steak. Yeah. This is where Paducah is. Mr. Smith was talking about my sophomore year. He was right. There are no Asians here. It's amazing like how you look back now at your

grandma's school and your high school. And you know, I wish I always liked school. I always enjoyed going to class. It's social. Absolutely. It's social. You go and you, you know, and some teachers, if they let you broke their balls and some teachers told you from the jump, don't break my balls. You know, the grandma's squad went to was a little rough and tumble. And I saw there was one teacher he's dead now, Earl Kingwell. And he was a high school basketball referee and he would push kids around. And I saw him get beat up by a parent. I saw a gym teacher. I saw a gym teacher get lit up by Carmine Balzano when they banged his head against the wall 15 times. For what? For hitting his son. Oh, wow. I saw some good shit. I grew. So my era was that

era when we could get hit and then like they quit swatting kids like as maybe like my junior senior. A teacher cannot do anything. Oh, not now. You scare kid. I would I would I would feel really bad for a teacher today because the thing with a teacher is that he has to cut this shit. It's like going to prison. You walk in the first fucking spitball. You got to stop what you're doing. Here it is. I will take one of your motherfuckers throw you out the fucking window. You know, when I was growing up, that's how they did it. Now you can't do that. Yeah, but you got no leverage. Listen, you walk into class with a black eye. Yeah, no, whether you could do it or not, they're going to believe you will. No, that's

because that's that's the best thing in the world or a stab wound. I got a knife still in your neck. Oh, like you got shot the week before or something like that. Listen, I got stabbed on my way to school today, but I'm going to remove this and we're still going to do algebra because that's that's how bad I still got this knife on me. Yeah, when I went to high school, we had there was more respect for the teachers. The grammar school where I went to it was it was a working class white mentality. Yeah, like there was only like maybe 10 Spanish kids in that school. There were all Irish, Italian, a few Jews, some Germans. So, you know, your teacher was more than your parent during the week. That's eight hours a fucking day. Absolutely. And that's

what these kids don't understand. You know, I got to get along with them. But it was after we tried to push their buttons. We tried to, especially in grammar school, I had Lovito, I just spoke to he had a week. But on Fridays, he would let me sing my eyes adored you by Frankie Valley in the four seasons. So we were straight, you know, same. Plus, he was a member of the ecology club and he'd take us to these fucking things. Kingwell had a problem with I had a problem with the Catholic school. That sucked dick. That sucked dick. Those nuns are fucking brutal. Fuck those bitches. But no, everything else was was great, man. It's amazing that that you went from teaching. I wonder how these kids feel today. That's what I

Yeah, I've been back in the school a couple times like CNBC did a special on me once and we went back to school and somebody else did a special. I mean, and we went back to school and it was pretty cool. Like, you run into some kids like the first time I went there, I ran to some kids who were still there that were there that were like freshmen when I was teaching and now they're like about to graduate. And then it's cool like even after the fact you go into school now and obviously they're like rumors and legendary rumors and of, you know, fights I got into with students and stuff like that. It's pretty awesome. They asked you about that. Are you clearing shit up or are you just letting the myth live? I let it ride. I let it ride. Somebody asked me how I

went from a I was I was on a show one time to an interview and somebody says, So how did how did you go from like teaching to mixed martial arts? And I'm like, Well, there was I said, I had this student in my class who's very disrespectful. We got into this altercation. And it was pretty bad. I ended up going to court and they basically mandated an anger management course, which led to some martial arts training. And so it led to a career in MMA. And I'm like telling this story like straight face and they're looking at me like an interviewers like, I don't have anything to say right here. You just see the look on his face like that's inspiring. Well, the UFC must have loved it because a lot of the criticism was like,

like barbarians and like too too intense. But like to have a guy who has a master's degree and was a high school math teacher that like they must have been huge handy because you know, I was on like the Donnie DeWitt show once and I did the Bill Riley show with Dana one time. And we did that. Like I did a lot of stuff with the UFC with like the Associated Press and all that and talking because you can talk intelligently about the sport and about the safety measures that they take and all those kinds of things. And so that's actually a little bit of because I'm working with one FC in Asia, we're kind of running into the same problem. So I ended up doing a lot of similar types of interviews over there are talking about how safe the sport is and what

measures we go through for training for the referees and the doctors and pre medical, all that kind of stuff. And so, you know, there was a lot of time put into legitimizing this sport and public opinion, so to speak. Is there any fatalities at all in that sport? I think there have been a couple. Like there was I know there was one in Russia for sure, but any of the fatality, I think I think there may have been two documented cases that dealt with fights. But that's kind of low for a full contact sport, right? It is. But here's the thing, like you'll find like that a lot of these a lot of serious injuries and stuff like that, they happen in organizations that don't have the rigorous like pre medical testing or just the testing that you

had to go through. I mean, because like you get ready to get into a fight, I can sign up for a fight and perhaps I have like I'm like this close to having an aneurysm in my brain and then suddenly I'm half around in and I get hit three or four times and that puts me over the top. You know, so people can sit and say, Well, well, MMA is dangerous. Well, if this guy would have done the proper medical testing to begin with, then you never would have had this problem. You know, this is a lot of football players dying recently, like a lot of high school football players, like they're dying on the field because it's just so hot. That's crazy. You would think more more what happened in fighting. I wasn't a UFC fan when it first came out. I turned around

one day and said, Are you fucking crazy? Are you fucking crazy? I was like, I'm not watching this fucking. And I also when I came from Cuba, I joined up in martial arts. I loved it. And when I went to Jersey, I was an issue. I loved all that shit. I used to go to tournaments and I was a martial arts nerd, you know, I had all the weapons and the stars. Me too, man. I've been to like every flea market East Coast, West Coast, fucking shit, man. Ninja stars from all of this when I'm bored. I'll just go to the martial arts, all the fame down here on Burbank. They got everything. Everything was invented three blocks from here, like that martial arts store. You know that three blocks. No, it's the older. It's Jean LaBelle's. Oh, really? Jean LaBelle's in there

every fucking day. You go in there and they still got Bruce Lee pictures. That was it. They used to walk those fucking streets. You make that right on Burbank. You make the left on Burbank Boulevard. There's everything. There's Jiu Jitsu, there's Shotokan Karate. Who teaches fucking Shotokan Karate? Well, I started off in Shorinru, which is almost the same thing. Gooshinru, Shotokan. These are all the things that, you know, now Taekwondo, but I remember there was no Jiu Jitsu. Yeah. You got to go to the Bronx. Like some, there was a Brazilian dude in the Bronx that took this shit and he'd take people down. Always Judo. Cubans love Judo. So there was always a Cuban, a Judo place in my neighborhood down by 7th Street, some Cuban guy that was in Russia.

But it's amazing that I didn't like it at first. And it wasn't till I watched and I was going, you know, when you're going through Spike and I watched... Rich Franklin. No, no, no. I watched Rich Franklin like a week later, though. I was very impressed. And I remember that you remind me of a dear friend of mine. My first UFC fight that I caught off the cuff was Anderson's first fight. Oh, Lieben. And I was like, what the fuck just happened? Yeah. What is this? No, UFC. I called Joe the next day. I watched that shit last night. What the fuck? And this is so... I told you, I've been telling you for three fucking years to put it on. I told you, I've been asking you for years if you want to come watch it. I wouldn't go watch it. Oh, you want to talk about us the reds?

We got new shit. I remember him taking me to a fight one time. I just left. But he gave tickets to his Lomor guy and he kept asking me. They said they didn't see him. Like, I went. I just, they kept asking me about movies and shit. I didn't want to be bothered. I just couldn't go. I couldn't sit there and know what it was all about. It was Chuck. It was, not Odell was fighting. The other guy, Captain America, Randy, was fighting somebody. I don't even know. And I was like, I'm not sitting through this shit. Where was it? Where was the fight? MGM Grand or something like that. V-Tour? No, no, I don't. Because that was it. Because when Randy fought V-Tour, I think he fought V-Tour at the MGM and he also fought Tito at the MGM.

But V-Tour is the one when his eye got scratched and it ended in like 19 seconds or something. Because, yeah, the doctor wouldn't let him continue. He lost his belt because of it. Yeah. And after that, I watched, maybe, my Ultimate Fighter and then I got into it. I really started watching and I'm like, wow. And I became a fan, but it took me a long time. Like, it really did. Like, people kept asking me, don't you go to the fight? And I'm like, I wouldn't fucking go to those things. Man, I'm dying. That's crazy. I saw Tank Abbot and that's what pissed me off. You mean you saw him in the cage? Yeah. I was like, I'll never watch that. There's no need for that. There's no need for that. What is that for those on the outside? Tank Abbot is just a guy with a

beard. Looks like somebody was a biker. I didn't want to see that. I wanted to see like a martial art guy. Right. He was like the great American lazy hope. He was like the hacksaw gym dug-in? There you go. Oh, they have a Kimbo Slice versus Tank Abbot. That has to be terrible. But it's really funny how it grew on me. Kimbo won that, actually. And then I went to a fight in Miami. We were shooting a man's show in Miami and Joe was like, come over and watch the fight. And it was the guy who was really tough that wouldn't get knocked out. The little, oh fuck, someone kept my little Hawaiian guy or something that just wouldn't get knocked out.

And there was no, and there was nobody there in Miami. At this UFC shack was there by himself. Like there was nobody there. Maybe I fought because that was my first fight. In Miami. UFC 42. And at the American Airlines Arena, where did he play? 2005, maybe. 2003. Something like that. Yeah. That could be 2003 at the man's show. Yeah. Rogan, those guys. That was it. The attendance was real sparse. And there was a free concert. There was a concert that was like at the time that was like five real popular 90s bands, you know, like Seven Mary Three. Third Island, all that. Yeah. And they're like doing a free concert right next to the right next to the to the stadium there and or the arena or whatever.

And yeah, our attendance was maybe like right around 8000, like half capacity. So. And what was the first thing? What was your first? What are the fuck they call it? You know, they have a fancy name for it. Did you study Muay Thai at first? Well, I was a high school wrestler. No, I started. So I started in my traditional karate. I was doing Okinawa Shorn Roo karate. I got a secondary black belt in that. But about I'll tell you what happened, man, about three years into my training, my instructor, his son had come home from the Marine Corps. And about the same time, you know, I saw first couple of UFC's and I thought like I was just doing this like

because I wasn't a big kid. You know, I'm like, if I ever get in a fight, man, I better learn how to handle myself a little bit. So there was a jiu-jitsu school down the street. And after I saw the first two UFC's and like, you know what, I better start learning how to fight on the ground. Then one day, my instructor, son, come home from the Marine Corps and he had been doing Muay Thai. And so, you know, you want to spar? I'm like, yeah, sure, let's spar. You know, and so I'm out there and I'm doing this whole, you know, karate stance like cat stance, you know, and he also, he just drops a shin kick on my thigh. Boom. Never, never felt anything like that before. And I'm like, I like fall to, we continued to spar. And I was like, man,

you got to show me how to do these kicks, man. Like I've never seen it. So they started explaining what Muay Thai was. And, you know, I started doing that and everything. And it just, it just really just started branching out and evolving from there. Hey, you guys brought up throwing stars. Does anybody teach that shit at all? Is that just in the movies? No, you just watch movies and you're fine. I watched, listen, I watched American Ninja one, two, three and four. Right. And so I'm pretty sure that's like a PhD in Ninja throwing stars. Right. Absolutely. What about the last dragon? You guys ever seen that one? Absolutely. I saw that in a black movie theater in Harlem. Like I didn't know what to expect. I thought it was, I'm going to walk out

of there. This is awesome, man. Phenomenon. Phenomenon. Phenomenon. They should redo that movie. Phenomenon. No, no. In fact, my first night ever at the comedy store, I walked in, I saw Eddie Griffin, but Don Barris, but the guy in the audience was Taipac. Taipac was there with Eddie Griffin. The dude. Vanity was in that movie. It was terrible. The Shogun of Harlem. Shownuph. Shownuph. Who's the baddest mofoto down around this town? I mean, that was just, it's a great spoof. Fucking Shogun. I saw that in a black movie. That was my black movie through the days. Yeah, you go a lot. Come on, 84. Which one? Shogun of Harlem, 84, 85. No, it was Last Dragon. Last Dragon. Last Dragon. I'm such a Shogun of Harlem.

85. Told you. From 84 to 85, I worked in New York City, but I didn't go to work till five. Yeah. So I'm an early riser, so I would go into the city at 12, get a nickel bag at 181st. Beautiful. Roll it, smoke it, go to the Cuban place, and then there's a movie theater. You're the Last Dragon. Come on, dog. There's a movie theater right down 181st Street. It was like three movies for fucking 50 cents. Black people yelling and screaming. The best movie I ever saw in there was Rambo. When he comes out of the weeds, when he comes out of the mud, when his eyes are open, black people went fucking bananas. Till this day, I was so happy. I was there. I was, yeah, yeah. My man just did not do that. My man just did not do that. My man just did not do that.

You know, that was before, like, people were throwing n-words around. It was still great. It was a beautiful life. And I remember, I was sitting in the back, I was stoned for the week, and I walked in and Rambo put his hand around the guy and he stabs him and he opens his eyes in the mud. They went, I never saw nothing like that. And you know, it's amazing that I've talked about this before. Black people, the ghetto, they are, they're like one white person and it's the goofiest guy. Like Marilyn Martinez had a ghetto husband from Compton, ghetto with dredging shit, like fuck that white motherfucker. Except. Adam Sandler was, God, when I did it in the longest yard, his wife called me and she's like, listen, David wants to be an extra in the movie.

I'm like, man, what are you talking about? It's a fucking football. What's wrong with Dave? She's like, Joey, I don't know if you know this. He loves Adam Sandler. I go, I put him on. I go, Dave, what up? What up, dawg? You like Adam Sandler, dawg? That's my motherfucker dawg. Fuck Eddie Murphy. Fuck Eddie Murphy. They love him. They love him. I brought him on. This set is my probation officer. I made him shake the coma's hair. I go, take the dredge out and I'll bring you on the set. And I brought him on the set as my probation officer and introduced him to Bert Reynolds. Bert Reynolds and him talked the fuck out until this day. Well, he's dead now. He would always tell me, you're my motherfucker for doing that. So every time I see like a real hard-looking gangster,

he's at home laughing at like Happy Gilmore. He likes the Beatles. They got some fucking freaky thing. They can't help it. They can't help it. Like, I met a black dude that was ghetto and he was telling me about the Spassion Pumpkins one time. Really? And I'm sitting there going, oh my God. Oh, he just sent the NWA in your car. Yeah. And you told him about the Smash Pumpkins Rock. So, bro, different strokes. The next time you see a ghetto black guy, go up to him and go, what is it? You like Threes Company? Tell me your secret. Man, that's my motherfucking shower knife. Carol Burnett is my bitch. Way before that dude from Atlanta started dressing up like a woman. What's the story, Rich Franklin? Look at you. You all right tonight? I'm good, man. Good. I'm happy

you fucking came out. I'm having a good time. No, this is what, listen, this is, this is a conversation. There's what people want to do. This is just a conversation. There's no drama. So in 1984, when you took that punch to the stomach, we wanted to hear that fucking frame. It's just, did you or did you not see the Last Dragon? That's all there is to it. That's a fucking laugh. That's a real martial artist. Now, you're still training? I am. Oh, yeah. Where do you go around here? You know what? I haven't found, I haven't found a good, like a bounce to a couple of places. I went to a George Oliver's place and Hollywood BGJ there, liked it, went there a couple of times, been to Higgin Machado's place.

That's where I go. Yeah, like, yeah. Love Higgin. Good dude. Yeah, I like it a lot. You know, I've been to a couple other places. I've been to Justin's place, Fortunes Boxing. Really? Yeah. I like, I like that up there. It's just, you know, man, the part of the problem is with Hollywood here is it when, or LA, when you are in this area, if you want to go get a boxing workout in, it's your whole day. By the time you drive there, find parking, you know, screw around with all this stuff, get your workout in and then drive back, like you're going to get caught in traffic both ways or whatever. It's just, it's a pain, man. So it's like, you know, I'm out here doing other things too. And rather than training six days a week twice a day, it's like, I'm going

to do that. I might as well just stay at the gym all day long. So, so yeah, but I'll spend some, you know, I've spent a lot of time just general fitness stuff too. I like going down to the little workout area in Santa Monica by the pier where the bars and stuff are. Have you guys ever been down there? I don't think so. Oh my God. Do they like these? Yeah, it's Muscle Beach on Venice, right? Oh, Venice Beach? No, it's not Venice. It's not Muscle Beach, but it's right by the pier. They have like climbing rope, like a military style climbing rope. They have this like metal apparatus and stuff that you climb up and they have like rings, like gymnast rings. And when you guys go down there on a weekend and you will see some wicked stuff. You live down there?

I have an apartment in the Westwood Century City area. It's funny because I've been, I started Jiu-Jitsu up here, but I went to a Higgan seminar and he had, and he kept calling me, going, come by and I'm like, fuck Beverly Hills. I don't want to fucking drive from the valley of Beverly Hills. To drive, man? He fucking kept calling me. Where are you? I wait. I wait for my best friend, Joey Diaz. I wait, haha. Where are you? And the fucking day I walked in, I walked in at 10 to 11, he goes, look at your phone. I was just calling you. That's, and I had to go. And you know what, I'm hooked. He's good dude too. Man, he cracks me up. He's a big dude. He teaches me big guy moves. No breathing, no flying through the air. You know, he just has- You got no flying arm bars or anything?

No, no. He's taught me some shit that he cuts the drama. Like everybody else. You know, listen, I realized, I go, when you go to, when you go to Cabrinha, he's under 45 pounds. Cabrinha's gonna teach you Cabrinha stuff, who I love. I love Cabrinha. He's a bad mother fucker. But then, you know, if you go to Hegan, he's gonna teach you those moves. And he kept bugging me. I have exercises for you, my friend. So Tuesday, knee surgery, just meniscus. They're gonna fuck up the arthritis. But I'll be back in three weeks. I'll be over at Hegan. No, no, it's great. But I love him. Justin is one of, I feel one of the best guys in Hollywood. Like to me, like as a friend, like I go there. I call him once a week. I go there once a week. Like I was there the other day,

at 6.30 in the morning. 6.30. I don't work out. I just go sit with him, talk with him. I play with the fucking dogs if they're there. I've known Justin for six or seven years. I think I've seen him throw people out of that gym. It's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful thing. He fucking goes off. Yeah. Well, then get the fuck out. And I like that approach of people, because in this town, nobody says things to you because it feels that it might come back to hurt them late. Like, you won't do your movie there or whatever. Some people in this town speak their mind. That's why. Have you met Maca Folly? No. That's the dude. The old dude that's always there. The six foot, six guy that looks like a fucking, he's 60 years old. Black guy? White guy. That guy shadow boxes 30

minutes every day. I call him once a week too. Next time you go, if you watch Friday night fights when Mike Tyson's old trainer, what's his name? The guy he went to after his trainer died. He hosts, he does like commentating for Friday night fights on ESPN. Cool dude, real, got great stories about him. I remember I quit watching boxing because I started doing MMA. I know, but you still got a white. You got to go back to the fundamentals. Absolutely. I have a great boxing coach. Do you Yeah. Gaios and Sonati really good. You know, it's amazing how when people look at techniques and different techniques, like when GSB started utilizing the jab, you know, something as simple as the jab. Also, everybody wanted to go training with Kenny Roche all of a sudden, but it's not

Freddie Roche. I'm sorry. It's not Freddie. It's been there for years. The jab has been there for years, like the sidekick. It's been there for years. And the psychic is a tremendous weapon. You could do a thousand things with it, you know, but it's like when Machita came in, people couldn't believe how the karate thing, I saw it right from the, I saw it. I'm like, that's a point fighter. And that motherfucker is a point fighter because they used to drive me crazy when I was a kid. Oh yeah. They come in, boom, or they fake, go back, come in, they trigger it. Avoid damage. Yeah. They avoid the whole thing. But it's amazing how you just said that when you went to the Muay Thai, you kicked that fucking cat leg. Yeah, I kicked that cat leg. You had no

weight on it. He's still fucking, oh my God. You guys ever been kicked in the thigh? No, I did Taekwondo for a little bit and I wrestled in high school, but I was always, kick him in the thigh. No, I'm all set. Are you good? You sure? Oh, no, I'm way too hard for that. I'll just, I'll just drop it. Just, just a little bit of it. All right. No, trust me. I haven't. If you could give me the thighs, man. No, yeah. It's bad. It's bad. And you'll be walking funny for a day or two. Oh my God. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you now? 39. You still got two fights in front of you. I feel, I feel good enough that I could probably do more than that. Of course I say that now when I'm not in the middle of fight camp, put me six weeks in the middle

of fight camp and I'm like, oh my God. And so explain fight camp to me like before every fight. Well, see, here's a, you got, there are two types of fighters, man. Yeah. The fighters, the fight, and then when they're done fighting, they just walk out of the gym and they don't show back up for another couple of months. And those are usually the guys that, that are 40 pounds over their fight weight out of season. Right. You see somebody like, whoa, that guy fights it to a fight. They're like Da Nero. They're like, it's up and down. So you got those guys and you got guys like me who never quit working. Right. I'm always training and keeping myself. It's really the way to do it. Yeah, absolutely. It's a lifestyle to me, man. I'm super healthy at the

weight. I'm very holistic with my nutrition. You know, I keep, like I keep myself in line with God spiritually and all that kind of stuff. Like I'm really, it really is truly a lifestyle, man. And, and you know, I'm never partied too hard. You know, I work hard and I play hard, but my play is different kind of play. I mean, I'm an adrenaline junkie for sure by nature, but, but I just, I don't let myself stray too far off of that, that path and but you'll, what you end up doing is you end up really, really clamping things down. And it depends like for me, since I don't ever let myself fall out of shape, I'm usually about an eight or nine week camp. There are guys that because they're so far out of

shape, they spend like three weeks getting into shape. So it's like you're prepping for your prep. Right. But, but then you spend eight weeks, like basically preparing for a specific opponent. Right. You know, typically, like, say you call it an eight week camp, like the first two weeks that camp might be just general, you know, like your coach is looking at the game. For me, my coaches look at the game plan, you'll have kind of a broad like sense, like we're going to work some wrestling one day and some of this and this, we're going to integrate these days. And then after you get past that two week period, then everything starts like getting very specific. Right. We're not just working wrestling, we're working these specific wrestling drills and

you start honing in on things and you know, it just depends on the phase that you're in with camp and all that stuff. But you know, I mean, for eight weeks, you basically like you wake up and that guy's the first person on your mind, you're eating meals, that guy's the person on your mind, you're training that guy's the guy you're thinking about the whole time, you go to bed, you're thinking about him as you fall asleep, dreaming about him, not in a weird way. Sure. You know, not in some tight ballet, two-dose shorts. In a God spiritual way. Yeah, exactly. You know, I believe that you would stay in shape year round. I mean, that'd be the easiest way.

And then you prepare for each opponent as he came. I mean, here's my philosophy from what I've seen. I mean, you're 39, I still think you got two good fights and you know, you're still in great shape and stuff. But it's so weird how there's a big difference between 38 and 40. Let me tell you. It's fucking amazing. You know, I really started telling the difference. I could tell the difference like the year I turned 35. That was about the time that and I can go in the gym, like I go in the gym and I'll train like I'm 20, I'll outwork 20 year old kids all day long, you know, and it's great being seasoned. You know, when you have that experience, you know, because then you just like, you just, you know, you know the game, like you make up with, you know,

with what you lack in conditioning because you're out of shape or youth or whatever you want to call it for knowledge. And I can train like I'm 20 though. I mean, I go in and you see me training like, oh man, that guy's a machine. But like, you know, I was, when I was 20 years old, I would train for two hours and then I would go help my buddy move a couch. And then I would come back to the gym and train for another two hours. Now, man, I'm like, I train for two hours and when I push the way that I push, I go home, man, I'm sleeping for an hour. And just because if I don't, it's like, it's like plugging my cell phone back in, you know, you got to recharge that battery. And if I don't do that, I'm shot for the next workout. Like I'm sunk.

I went to Higgins, then I take a nap after it. Absolutely, man. I got home, I made a protein shake on the computer. I just wasn't feeling good. Yeah. You get that point where something wasn't right. Like my ears were ringing. That was a little fucked up today. I forget I'm 51. I should have done those last three things and shit. And I was like, fuck, I just got up, took my t-shirt. I don't really shower and everything. I was like, I had to take a nap for an hour. And I was exactly, I slept an hour and I got

right back up. Like, it's tough, man. What is your sleep schedule, Joey? Because you're up early as shit. I got sick. So I started respecting my sleep schedule because that's the last thing you look at. And it's one of the most important things. It's the most important. It's the fucking old patois. It just keeps everything fresh, your mind. And you know, I could go four hours and rock and roll. Right. We do this at eight or more. We would do this at six for a year and a half.

Yeah. Well, we do this at six. If you do this at six in the morning, your chance at getting me on the gas is pretty strong. You know, the people think like when you're an athlete, they've seen Rocky. I actually talked about this and sometimes I do like motivational talks and stuff, you know, Rocky breaking, like waking up before the sun comes up, you know, cracking three eggs, drinking them out of the glass, walks outside. You can see his breath in the air. I'm like, man, I don't do that. Like sleep is paramount to me. Right.

I don't set an alarm. I almost never wake up to an alarm. Oh, okay. Never. You just get what you need and that's that. Yeah. I typically, I mean, I have like a window that I go to bed, but here's a problem. Like last, like the last couple of nights and I'm getting ready to go overseas. So I'm trying to kind of adjust my sleep schedule a little bit, but I'm that guy that, I mean, if I go to bed at nine o'clock at night, I'll wake up in the morning at like five and I'm

like, man, it's too early to get out of bed. So I won't get up. Right. But if I go to bed at three in the morning, I'll, I'll still wake up at like my set time is like about seven, 30 or eight. So no matter what time I go to bed, I won't get out of bed till about seven, 30 in the morning. Right. So I, you know, I'm typically like, I'm, I'm usually in bed like around midnight every night. That's where the math comes in.

You figure out when to go to bed. Listen, trust me. And I, yeah, exactly. Listen, I actually, I pay attention to my, like my circadian rhythms and sleeping 90 minute increments and all this kind of stuff. And yeah, I don't go so far as like lining my bed to the north and which, you know, I'm not set against or anything like that. Every little bit helps or whatever. But you know, some people that make sure their bed is facing north south. So they're lined up with the magnetic poles and some crazy, crazy stuff out there. I always wonder, do you like, do fire sleep the night before the fight?

Like I, like I get excited for like an early morning flight and I don't sleep. How do you sleep a week before that? Well, I'll tell you that's really, it doesn't like that excitement doesn't really hit me until I arrive. Like when I land in Vegas and I'm checking in, that's when, that's when things get real. Then I'm here to fight. Why don't you put that car down for incidentals, baby? Shit starts getting crazy. But, uh, but no, it's like the most important night of sleep for me is, uh,

not the night before the fight, but the night before the night before the fight. So the way ends? Yeah. Because I mean, listen, you ever go to bed, you have a really bad night of sleep, you wake up the next day, you're fine. And then all of a sudden you, you can go to bed that night, get a good night of sleep, you wake up the next day and you're dragging ass. Yeah. What the heck happened to me is because you're like,

your body can run off adrenaline just fine. But, you know, it's going to dump eventually. And so it's like the night before the fight, it's, that's not them. I mean, it's important, but the most important is the night before that. That's what keeps me performing at optimum levels. I just, you know, when I was 25 and shit, I didn't believe in sleep. Really? Three, four, five hours.

You don't know. I didn't know the fuck that I know. You know, and then I have this thing I like to get up just to see what the hell's going on. Yeah. You got to get up. You got to get up in peace, see what the fuck's going on. Sometimes I stay up, sometimes I don't, sometimes I pray that I go back to sleep. Yeah.

Last night I went to bed at 1130, 12, and I had two of my eyes were wide fucking red. I was playing with the fucking cat and I'm like, no, I got to get some sleep because I'll stay up till five. I dig that shit. Yeah, me too. I dig that shit. That's why if I'm home Monday night, there's no comedy on Monday night, really, you know. Fuck it.

I'll take a 10 o'clock nap time, 930. I'll take a nine o'clock. I'll eat a pot cookie. I'll go to bed at fucking nine o'clock. If I wake up at five, I got a good eight. Sure. My wife wakes up at seven. I got two hours of fucking writing, listening to music.

I could read the newspaper. You know, I could read, I could write, I could write a few jokes. You start your day off on the right fucking foot. You pick out theme songs for the day, too, don't you? Yeah, I pick out three songs a day to get me started while I'm washing my monkey. The other day I woke up and I was thinking of going to Cabrini's at 7 a.m. And I'm like, it's Rujitsu at 7 a.m. That just doesn't fucking translate for me.

But it's nice to do it one time. One time. One time, just to say that you went there at 7 a.m. I used to... Yeah, the problem is you show up at a place like Cabrini's or Higgins at 7 in the morning, you know, then they're calling you every day like, hey, brother, you show up at 7 a.m. class tomorrow. And you're like, no, that was a one-time thing.

They call you every day. You know, when it comes to that shit, I like doing it and getting out of the way. Yeah, no, but I don't even show up at 7 a.m. class because I almost set that precedent. It's like, no, no. Oh, this is a guy likes to train at 7 a.m. But they have a set, you know, who else has a 7 a.m. class up here? And I drove past that one time.

There were 16 motherfuckers, bro. And I pulled over and counted, you know what I mean? I had... He got major, Alberto Crane. Oh, really? Right down the corner. That's where County of Florian goes. Yeah.

So fucking Alberto Crane's got a 7 a.m. class. Go over there. It's a bunch of people who work 10 hours, who go to fucking Jiu Jitsu first. You got to look at those guys and go, what the fuck are you thinking? The reason why I don't go, when we say why I don't go to 7 a.m., because a lot of people going there without taking showers, 10 a.m. they have that coffee break,

they hit you rolling with something, they hit you with that bad breath in the morning. I will lose my mind. That's their secret to victory. I used to go to 10 a.m. kickboxing classes. And there'd be some stinky motherfuckers in there from the night before. And I get pissed off. I can't tolerate that shit.

I go to... I take a shower before I go to Jiu Jitsu, even if I fucking took a shower already. Just to make sure. Yeah, man. I respect other people. You got to, you know, I want to smell like Irish Spring while you're choking me.

You know what I'm saying? I want you to smell the Irish Spring on my neck while you're choking me. You may have mercy on my fucking soul. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. When was the last time you fought, Rich? 2012.

How does it feel? I'll tell you, it's... Honestly, man, I feel better now than I felt in the last 10 years of my life. You broke your hand the last fight? No, not the last fight. I broke my arm the fight before that, though. Lived out. Yeah, you kicked me.

I remember you broke your hand. Who was the last fight? Kong. I got knocked out. Kong Lee? Yeah. I don't remember the shit. Yeah, me neither.

Seriously, what is that like? Do you remember leading up to that? Or is it... What, getting knocked out? Yeah. Yeah, every fight's different. But I've had fights where I've won. And I've got a couple fight before...

Fight before Kong, I fought Van der Lee, Silva. And Van der Lee dropped me in the second round. And legitimately, I don't remember the remainder of that round, the third round, or the fourth round. Right. And then it happened to me in a fight before. And I'm sitting in the corner between fourth and fifth round. I'm just sitting there like, and my coaches, they're talking.

And the best way I can describe it is when you get dropped and your coaches are talking, when it first happens, you hear this whistle, like a hum in your head. But then when you sit down in the corner, it's like, want, want, want, like the adults from the peanuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I just remember sitting there between the fourth and fifth round, and all of a sudden things started coming too.

And I was like, all right, guys, I'm back. Nice. You know, it was one of those deals. But then I went home and I watched myself fighting. And I'm like, man, I fight better when I'm on autopilot. Right. You're not thinking. You're not thinking.

Yeah, you're not thinking. You're just reflexes. So crazy, man. That is awesome. Yeah, it makes you feel bad, though. You're like, well, damn. Maybe anything I clocked in the head to get it going. But now, you know, like most of the time,

when you get dropped like that, like it's, I remember being in the fight, I remember being in that fight and really getting into my rhythm and just like doing my thing. You know, I landed a couple of punches and then he threw a kick to my midsection. And I remember kind of like trying to, you know, parry the kick and it caught me a little bit. And I was like irritated, like irritated with myself.

Like, really? You just let that happen to you. And then kind of I was like setting in. And then the next thing I know, I'm in my locker room. I'm like, what the hell, man? Right. One of those deals. And so yeah, it's like, but you know,

then you got to go back and watch everything to see what happened. But it stinks because you're like, oh, timber. Do you ever take a fight? I'm really like someone, someone changed it really short notice. Like they just signed that Bellator guy. And they switched to fight. Like they just took a guy out like a month before. Or like how?

Because we were talking about the fight camps. Like how crazy is that? Like the two weeks before I have a new opponent. You know what? You didn't like think about boxing. Like you didn't see that crap growing up in boxing. You see boxing matches that don't happen over a half a pound. Like, oh, no, I'm not going to, I'm not going to fight him at 144.

I'll fight him at 143 and a half. And I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not cutting to 143 and a half. It's like, these guys in MMA, man, I'm like, I'll fight with 205. I'll fight 185. I'll fight to catch weight. Where do you guys want me? It's so crazy, but it really is difficult, man, last minute, to have like your fight change.

Because you're so opponent specific that you've, you know, it's like you're, you're developed habit. Like you've really honed in on this habit. Like I'm going to defend the shot this way. I'm going to throw a punch this way. I'm going to set up with this fake or whatever. Your complete game plan changes. Like it's, it's, it's terrible.

So actually, um, I was training for Kung and I was on the other side of the world. I was training in Singapore and I was training specifically with guys who were stylistically like him. And then, um, VTOR got hurt and that's how I ended up fighting Bandolay. But that's which, and I was like going to fight in the States. And suddenly it's like, oh, well, you're not fighting in the States. We need you to fight in Brazil. And it's two weeks earlier instead of, you know, it was like all this stuff.

Like we need you to fight two works earlier in a different, in a different country. You're on the other side of the world. I had like get my butt back home, get my time zones realigned. And it was, it was crazy, man. Like that, that stuff happens. I can't imagine, dude. It's, uh, no matter what, even when I was 10 and I love sports, I love sports to a degree, you know, and then MMA came along or the UFC came along.

Because for a long time I wouldn't even watch Strike Force because it felt like I was cheating on the UFC. I was such a fan of the UFC and like my ties with the UFC. I wouldn't even watch it. And it's so weird how I've always, once I started watching the UFC, I became a better comedian. Really? Yeah.

Because I started, I watched them and I can, I started comparing comedy to mixed martial arts. I've heard it compared to a boxing match recently. In the sense of like, uh, like my writing was jujitsu fighting on my back. And, and my performance was striking. And then I had breathing involved and pauses when you rant. You know, with jujitsu, sometimes you play possum. Then I got to go for your leg and try to tie you up. You know, so there was all these things.

And then I would watch, I gotta say it, I would watch like Joe Daddy Stevenson, who I was a fan of from the Ultimate Fight. I like Joe, man. I love Joe. Went to Japan with Joe. Uh, he went, he went over to Okinawa in Japan with me to visit the troops one year. You know, Joe's a good guy. I think he's, he's, he's teaching somebody.

He's got a school or something though. Yeah. Great guy, but he didn't evolve. Every fight, he didn't evolve. And it's like showtime when I'm strolling to tonight, when I get home tonight, I'm not going to be able to go to sleep after I watch, uh, after I do comedy. So I'll go home and go and, and somebody that I just know as an acquaintance is on showtime doing a 30 minute thing.

I'm cheering for him. Right. But when I see him do a joke, he did it at the last factory six months ago. I cut it off. I'm fucking done. I'm fucking done. You know, it was like watching Tito at the end. I'm a fan of Tito.

How many more times are you going to go for that fucking takedown? You're a mile away. I'm a fat 40 year old and I'll be your fucking mile away. Why don't you keep going for that fucking takedown? It ain't working for you. It didn't work the last three fights. That's, so I would say if that joke don't work, get the fuck rid of it. Right.

It didn't work the last fucking weekend. Instead of me beating it for, you know, how many times are you going to throw that fucking spinning, which I can't stand that spinning backfist? Yeah. Why? Why are you wasting your fucking time? Why? You're killing me.

Stick to the fucking jab. All right. Everybody wants to fly through the fucking air. It would drive me crazy. After Showtime, you saw the kick off the cage, right? That, I didn't mind. Yeah, it was. But as he did that, everybody was like, oh, I got to do that too.

Yeah. Well, it's the same thing that happened with what's his name with the jab. Then people saw the effectiveness of the jab. Anderson threw the front kick at Vito. Everybody's throwing a fucking front kick now. Something that you and I, that was our main weapon. That little snap kick was beautiful. Oh, yeah.

All of a sudden, we forgot about it. All of a sudden, everybody forgot about it. You know, when I first lost them, I was 418 pounds. And when I first lost the weight, I had heard about these two brothers in Denver that were fucking nuts, these black dudes. And then somebody told me one time that they had opened up a school here now. And they taught not, they didn't teach Kajikempo. They taught the other ones.

So I started going down there. And I was there for two years. I loved the place. It's just that they ran the school on black time. At the class, I suppose, it starts at 10. It starts at 10 to 11. Is the ends of that tomorrow? Yeah, I got a one o'clock audition.

You know, I'm here to do 10 to 11, 15. I got a one o'clock audition. You'd walk in there 10 to 11, like, and everybody's sitting there like, hey, what's going on? I'm like, no, what the fuck? But I loved it. But the point being that they used to always talk to me about traditional martial arts, how they watched.

They would sit there and watch UFC's. And nobody was doing traditional martial arts. I mean, this was way before Machita started, and they would keep selling it, how they wanted to train somebody to go on and pick motherfuckers apart with different, and all of a sudden, it was like he was talking into the universe. They did the front kick, the jab. There was something else that they were doing that I saw him one time. He goes, did you see that guy?

He used that push kick. That's old school martial art. And now everybody's doing little fucking things. But once somebody does it, everybody else jumps on board. It works. Yeah. You know, what you do in Muay Thai, you don't do it. That's a good thing, though, because that's like the exact opposite of what you're talking

about with Tito and stuff. You know, you have to evolve with the sport. You have to. You have. And that's what made me get better with Kamala. Like, oh, I gotta work on my story telling now. So now when I would get on stage, I would use my comedy as combinations. Instead of going three, you know, one, two, and a kick, I would go, I'm going to do,

I'm going to come out as a machine gun. Then I'm going to take a breather, do two rants, and then I'm going to fucking close with the story to slow them down. So I started learning, you know? Right. So it was amazing how I compared it. Yeah. When did this start?

When did this kick in? What year? A year after watching. When do you think that was? Maybe 2006, 2007. I was now, I was like, fuck it. And, you know, when somebody would fight, I'd cheer for them. Right.

They'd go to watch them and go, come on, all of a sudden they'd do the same move that did the last two fights. And I would sit there and my blood was fucking. You're about to step into the ring. Oh, I would really go up and go, you stop doing that fucking thing, man. Stop it. Stop. Stop.

You're irritating me. Well, you can really mad at the big guy. What's his name? Who? The white guy with the, he's like a heavy guy. And he does the jiu-jitsu. He's a heavyweight. What's his name?

Gonzaga? No. Roy Nelson? Yeah, Roy Nelson. You always get mad at Roy Nelson. Do I? Yeah, you're always like, he always goes for the right, for the right hand. And you don't know, he's a black belt with jiu-jitsu.

Oh, that's why I get pissed at him. Go fucking take him, you fuck. Dude, that's like, what's up? 280, that's it, that's done. If you're a Brazilian black belt and you're 280 pounds, you're tapping motherfuckers, not even attacking an arm. Because I could lay on Rich Franklin right now and he'll push me around after two minutes.

That's going to be the toughest two minutes of his life. And I only got one white strike. I'm 3'10". Once I get on my tippy toes, Rich Franklin knows, he don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. How many TRTs or milkshakes? You ain't getting me, you all. So if fucking, he gets on you and puts that shoulder on you against your chin

and you're on the floor, he could sit there for fucking three minutes. How long is around? Five. Are you fucking kidding me? If he got you pulled you down and just put his shoulder into, you ain't getting on 265. Let's pretend, right? Heavyweight is 265.

265. Let's pretend he doesn't go to stake his shape tonight. Let's pretend he doesn't go home, listen to Leonard Skinner and go to stake his shape right there on the strip. He's going to be tipping the scale at 273, 274. A black belt and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu who knows how to use his leverage. And he can move. He can move.

He can move. You ain't going nowhere. He's got cardio. He's got cardio. So if I was him, I'd come out of the gate like a fucking man possessed. I'd take him, I'd bite somebody and I'd fucking take him down, just lay on him and fucking crush him for three minutes. Look over at Joe Sylvan Wave.

Are you like, yeah, fuck, fuck. He'd be down there turning purple and then it's all over. You're mesmerized. Even when you get up, I don't care how tough you are. Last week, somebody laid on me and they fucked up my rib with my own elbow, with my own fucking elbow. And this guy was 180. But he's a fucking brown belt.

And he knows that. Yeah, that's a thing. Like, I mean, I walk around about two or five, two, 10. And I can make myself feel like I'm like 275. Please. My buddy John Evans from Cabrinha, he's 170, with a rock in his pocket. When he gets you in that side control, one day my eye popped open like this. The thing popped like this and I couldn't stop blinking.

I had a tap from blinking because he fucked up my jaw. You understand me? It's amazing. That's why I get mad at Roy Nelson. But I love you, Roy. I'm fucking, you know. What do you think though? You know what I don't fuck around with?

We got to get Roy going to put you in one of these fights, dude. You've inspired me to. I can't fucking do it. I can't. In a fist fight? I just, no, I just want to see. Are you fucking with me? The way you're talking about all this, I want to see it.

Maybe I want to see it. It sounds so beautiful. Crazy? Oh. No, I want to see you fight. I would fucking go crazy if I was in somebody's corner because I can't take that shit. Yeah. Especially if I really like you.

I don't want to see you get punched in the head. So I'm going to yell and scream. I'm going to fucking say shit to you. I'm just going to keep fucking getting you here. We got to go in there and fucking kill this motherfucker. You're only just making people want to watch the show more. I'm telling you, I bring your mom. That's the best trainer.

Nobody knows. Nobody figured out that you have to see him. Nobody brought their mom in that motherfucker. To do what? To the fight. Just come to the fight. I can't do it. You listen to mom.

Because your mom is the best trainer. Your mom can make you do shit. Nobody else can make you. Sonny, you're on your back. Turn over. Bite him. And all of a sudden, you get like that rocky bow. When he heard his retarded wife.

What was her name? Adrian. Remember when he heard Adrian? When the hat fell off? Fucking that dude was a Momo. But he heard her hat fall off. That's what made him snap. Remember somebody took a hat?

And he went fucking nuts. Same thing. If your mom's in the corner, you think about that. How bad would you feel? You don't know if he wants to get beat up in front of that mom. No. You weren't getting your ass kicked in front. You're going to get this shit.

But she wasn't in your corner though. No. She was in the audience. The first fight my mom ever went to was my Anderson Silva fight. My title loss. Columbus. No, that one was in Vegas at the Mandalay Bay. Columbus was the rematch.

No, Cincinnati. Cincinnati. Yeah. That was where they do the. Which was her second fight, by the way. But yeah, that was her first fight and I just came out and I got my, I think I got my nose broken and went one direction, then it got rebroken and went the other direction.

Did she lose her mind or what? Yeah, she was, you know, that's my mind. Yeah, no, I know. I can't see how she wouldn't. Yeah. So she's, but yeah, that was her first fight. I was like, hey, we don't have to do this. Here's your introduction to MMA.

Hope you enjoyed the matches. That's gotta be, that's like going to see us and bombing. Oh, fuck. That's like inviting you. I don't invite family out anymore. I don't do that at all. Fuckin' no way. Cause it could happen on any given Sunday.

That's the kiss of death. Yeah, I'm not trusting you. The last fight I went to, I don't know where it was. It wasn't Baltimore and somebody was fighting me on the card or Lando. Somebody was fighting me on the card and the whole family came. They made those t-shirts and this motherfucker got rocked like 30 seconds in. Like just prior to the fight, the cameras are all over the family. Yeah.

The t-shirts after the fight. They're like, no, we'll just show it. Oh, and the brother-in-law took the show. I'm not with that guy. I'm not with that. I'm divorcing this bitch. I'm fucking out of this family. Let me give some shout outs here.

This is a fun fucking podcast. Hell yeah. Give some shout outs here. How come Adrian wasn't retarded in Rocky 2 or Rocky 3? She was only retarded in the first one. They took it to the clinic. They took it to the clinic. They got a house.

They talked to somebody. Yeah. If you watched Go From Rocky 3 to Rocky 4, even Rocky himself wasn't. He was good. They were all smart after that. Yeah. They beat the sense into him. They got a little money.

Everybody was happy. You know, they were Republicans. Let me drop it here. Mike Cavanough, I love you, cop sucker. Anthony Porello, thank you for listening. DC Smitty, Michael El Nino, Robert Woolridge, and Jennifer LeBlanc. I like that fucking name LeBlanc. It sounds like an expensive pen.

And that's it. It was a fun, full fucking thing, man. I can't believe this shit. We got a full house tonight. This is a nice conversation podcast. Yeah, man. Tons of fun. And then we're in Brea?

Yeah, we are in September. We're working in Brea? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See, Lee's going to be there, right? Sure. What are you doing all the way down in Brea?

Comedy. They got a comedy club down there. This? You doing the podcast? No, we used to stand up. We do the podcast. So you're moving the podcast to Brea? No.

No, we do the podcast live at the Ice House once a month. Gotcha. In fact, Herb Dean called me today to be on his show, and he's done the podcast a couple of times. I've had Herb at the live podcast. Yeah, Herb's a good dude, man. Herb's a really fucking good dude, man. I was talking to him one day on a plane about Kempo Karate,

and he gave me his number. He was like, call me during the week. I'll take you to a Kempo play. Like, that's amazing. He's the sweetest guy in the world. That's the thing about the UFC that you meet a lot of nice guys. And I was a fan to all of you guys.

Like, I just, I know the work that goes into it. I can't even fucking imagine. I can't imagine doing two hours of rolling, going home, having a kale shake. Because after two hours of rolling, you've got to kill. Listen, my shake today had spinach in it too. Just spinach, kale. Fuck the shake.

After two hours of rolling, you need a steak. A good, thick steak with a baked potato, a salad, and that. Not these guys. They drink that kale shake. Mike Dolce talks to you about peanuts. And then you head to some other fucking place to box. Have you met Mike? Oh, yeah, yeah.

He's an awesome guy. He's a fucking awesome guy. Mike's a fucking great man. But his recipes are fucked up. I like the chia seeds. I like the tuna with avocado in it. But the other shit drives me crazy. I can't.

Really? I'm not a veggie guy. Yeah. And well, he, but he's a meat eater. Yeah. His spaghetti is really good. His spaghetti is fucking good. Have you tried his ice cream that he makes?

No. Oh man, he would. So Mike and I did a bunch of military bases together. We were doing some, for Air Force Reserve, doing some talking about nutrition and just stuff like that. You know, health and fitness. There have been a lot of people that were failing PT tests. So Mike and I go around talking a lot of bases together.

And he would give us a recipe that he makes for ice cream. And he actually put spinach in his ice cream. Everybody's like, like, legit. He said, man, it's good, it's good stuff. I believe him, man. Like, you know, it's got something like dates in it and stuff like that. And he blends it up.

Right. But yeah, some ice cream with some. I mean, it's not, it's no dairy. It's dairy-free. But it's a really cool recipe. Mike knows what he's doing. Yeah, yeah. Mike is very good.

It's amazing to hold, you know, I grew up unboxing. Yeah. A couple of weeks ago, Dan Cormier and John Jones went out of the press junket. And people were fucking, you know, I grew up unboxing. And that shit happened all the time. When I was growing up, those boxes, you know, Agüello against Durand.

Those motherfuckers threw some chairs and shit like that, you know. It's been done before. I don't know why people. But it's amazing to hold different level to mentality. When you boxed, you had two guys. You had the main guy. You ate, you did all this stuff.

Now, the technology, it's like on it. It's optimization. Like now, you know, when you watch a martial artist or when you watch a UFC fighter, every time they do one of those, whatever, you know, preview to the fight, they're doing this out like they're going in freezers now and getting frozen for three minutes.

The technology, you know. It's true. They're going there. You know, man, I did the cryo chamber. And honestly, I just, have you guys seen these, the ice bucket challenges? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I actually, everybody's dumping bucket. I sat down in a bucket of ice and put out a picture

and said, here's my ice bucket challenge. And, but you know, like, honestly, man, sitting in an ice tub was, to me, way worse, meaning better than the cryo, the little cryotubes. So I don't know, I've done the cryotube a few times. And what does that do for you? Reduces inflammation and helps with like acid build up in the muscles and just recovery.

Gotcha. Yeah. A lot of people do it. I guess it shuts the blood away from the core. Eddie Broward does it twice a week. I did, I was doing it three times a week for 15 minutes. And you were sitting this ice, you were sitting this ice tub and like if somebody would combine, just hit the water, like the water moves.

And it's like, you're already sitting in cold water. So it's like, how, how much worse can it be? Right. But I'm a tiny man. Like once that water has motion in it, so my coach would just sit there and just like, just stir his hands. Oh no. You know, man, 15 minutes of that stuff is brutal.

And I do it three times a week after my three hardest workouts. Made a big difference though. Big difference. So what's the new title you have with this company? I'm a VP for that, man. I'm like, I'm a big deal. I know, I know, I know, man.

You gonna send us some hats? Hats? Hell yeah, I'll send you whatever, man. Now, you guys have a t-shirt in the States or just overseas? I think, I think eventually their expansion plan will come to the States. They've talked about it and all that kind of stuff, but eventually they'll plan on being here.

But there's some time off of that for now. They're doing their first show in Dubai. And I mean, it's tricky for them because they're not just in one country. Like before the end of this year, they're doing show in, in, there'll be Dubai, the Philippines, and Manila in Singapore and Beijing.

Where else are we? I think we'll have one more show before the end of the year that I'm missing. But yeah, I mean, so they're like, they're not in one country. So every, you're going to a new country every time because it's really, really difficult concept. But it's a big leap to come all the way to the States too.

But I'll tell you what, though, we, they put on some, some awesome shows, man. We just, we just did a show in Taipei, 10 ballots on it, all 10 ballots. We're all finishes. Some, you know, nice, nice quick knockouts, some good entertaining long, you know, drawn out five to the night type fights.

And it was good stuff. But they use a, they use a global rule set, just like Pride did, not exactly like Pride, because you can't stomp to the head on the ground. But you can, you can knee and kick to the head on the ground. Oh my God. And I've seen, I've seen some people get lit up, man.

Sure. And it's, it's pretty crazy. And it's not an octagon. It's a ring. It's, it's a, it's a circle. A circle. Yeah. It's great that you're doing great things, man.

Yeah. It's amazing that last week I read somebody retire, who retired last week? Krasinski. What's his name? Oh yeah. Because he does memory and stuff like that. And I sit here across from you and you're great.

I mean, I'll say this and that you talk about that, like all these fights and stuff like physically, I feel good enough. But I start, I think about my career and I've been knocked out a couple of times, you know, but even in fights that I've won, I've been caught before. And there are flashes of rounds that just have escaped me. And so, you know, there's part of me that's,

that's kind of like, you know, you've been hit in the head enough, you know, like, wait, but you're always like, ah, one more, you know, you wake up and I'm like, man, I feel like just, you know, you're hungry. You're like that, the whole Rocky Balboa movie. And he's like, I think I got one more in a gas tank, you know, like you have that feeling all the time. So it's, it's difficult because I always tell people,

you know, I'm at an age, I'm at an age where most men, my age, they do stupid stuff like go get tattoos and date women half their age and stuff like that. And buy a sports car that they can't afford. But at this age, you're at an age where you have to accept, like you can't do the job that you love doing. You know, people like my grandfather, like they work until their 70s or whatever

and at the same factory forever until somebody finally says, look, you're too old to do the job that you've been doing. And they have to accept that at 70. But in my line of work, I have to accept that at, you know, in your late 30s, basically. Hard. Yeah, it is hard. Because you still, you saw that desire sometimes.

Yeah, so yeah. That's amazing, man. Hey, listen, at least you're still in the game, you know, you're still around it. One thing I've noticed, like when Christian, that's his name, Christian, said that last week, I remember thinking about it. And I got to be honest with you, you know,

and I don't know who specifically. This time, I've gone to UFC fights and I've met fighters five years ago and I could see something different. Oh, absolutely. Maybe a little slur, maybe a little something, you know, and I'm sure you've seen it because you were around the game more. It'll be interesting to see how this all develops, you know,

20 years from now. The difference is, the difference between this and the NFL, because the NFL is having a lot of problems with all these concussions and stuff like that, the difference between this and the NFL is that, you know, like when a fighter fights, they're on their own, you know. You were talking about this at the top of the show about hiring nutritionists.

And like, I mean, I have a strength coach, you know, a strength conditioning coach, and who also helps me with my nutrition and a boxing coach and a kickboxing coach and a wrestling coach and a jitsu coach and a manager. And, you know, I mean, like you have all these people. And so it's, I go and like, I do my own thing between fights, you know, so it's not like there's this like standard thing,

like you go, you play for the Cincinnati Bengals, or you play for the Pittsburgh Steelers, like you pretty much within the system of medical, the medical field, it's going to be consistent everywhere you go. Um, but is there a union for fighters? I don't think though. They're ain't dick. It's like comics.

Again, it's like me in a comic. It's like a comic. There's no insurance. There's no, there's nothing. You're on your own. And you don't realize that too. You're on your own. Most people don't.

You know, when they're, when they're spending money and jumping up and down and people sucking your dick, you don't think about going broke. You know, it's after the dust cells that somebody comes to you and they says, hey, you ever had a fight in the fucking five years and you're spending like, you know, so it's, it's got to be hard in a lot of different areas. But it's, remember when you used to just fight?

Dude, it's fun. Well, I'll tell you what that's the nice thing about, about not fighting right now is like, I'll go into the gym and I just go into the gym to train for the enjoyment of just making myself better, not constantly being focused on this is my next opponent. Because I, like, you know, what I learned, like midway through my career, even, even as,

even as the world champ, like, you know, I want to be the best in the world. I want to be the best in the world. I want to be the best in the world. But you really, what you really need to focus on is being better than your next opponent. And that's it. Like you don't have to worry about being the best in the world.

Like you, you come in with a specific game plan for a specific guy and you, your sole purpose should be, I need to be better than this guy. I need to be whoever it is. I need to be better than him. You don't have to worry about being better than anybody, but the next guy you're going to fight. So now that I'm, now that I'm just, you know, I train,

I train for fun. I train for the enjoyment of getting better and not having to focus on the fighting. I can remember being that way when I was younger and then all of a sudden showing up at a fight where they stick a camera in your face. And like, I need you on this cue right here. You're going to stand here for, we got 15 seconds.

We're going to walk forward. I don't need you to walk too fast. Watch this court. I don't want you tripping over that in five, four, and, you know, and they're doing all these hand signs, like speed up, slow down. And you're like, you're like, I just, what the heck just happened here?

That's funny because all you want to do is fight. You got all this shit going. So now, and then, and I went through the transition of all that when the UFC was a smaller show in the day. And, and so suddenly it's like, you go from that to, well, I need you to conduct this interview. And then I need you to wake up at four in the morning on a week when I'm cutting weight.

And because these people were in a different country and, you know, and then radio. Yeah. Morning, radio. Morning, radio. Yeah. The same guy. We're doing morning radio tours, you know. To promote morning radio when you do a movie.

You have to. Same way. They put you on these fucking call. You got to wake up at five in the morning, talk to Spanish radio stations. And you got to tell them the same story and whatever. Oh, yeah. It's a fucking night.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm happy it all worked out for you, Rich. You're one of the pioneers, you know. I mean, no matter what anybody says in the sheet, you guys are one of the pioneers of the sport to what it is now.

So when you still look good, you're healthy. God bless you. I'm a, I'll take what man, God has blessed me. Yeah. Truly. Yeah. And worst case now, you're going to always teach fucking math again.

Fuck that shit. Not happening. Bitches. Did anyone not do their homework? Rich Frank was making a comeback. What's his name? Teaching high school, fucking in DC. What's his name?

Who's the boss? Mary and Barry. Tony Danza. Tony Danza. Got a job teaching in high school. Not because things are bad, because sometimes you want to go back to what you look. Yeah.

Sometimes you're in an age and you're like, what the fuck? I never played the piano. Right. It's over. I'm going down to fucking guitar center, mom. And I'm hanging out with child. I'm that guy every day, man.

I've got more hobbies than I got time. Ah, please. I like the Jamaican. The Asian, but with hobbies, yeah. All right. Let me fucking do these sponsors here. Lee, you have a good time, Tony? Yeah, that was crazy.

Are we going out to the store? We're going out. Are you going home? I don't know. Probably go home. How many diet points do you have left on? Not many. How many you got left on?

I've been following Lee on Twitter, man. What are you eating, Tony? What are you eating, Tony? I had that Asian place over by Burbank, the Asian box. The Cuban Asian place? No, it's right by the movie theater. It's like this little Asian Chipotle sort of thing. But they were good, and I saved half of that

because I knew I was going to get high. So, because I knew you always do this to me. So I was like, all right, I don't want to have it. I don't want to have it. We're friends, man. We're fucking not like to show up. And your eyeballs are red. I don't know what the fuck happened.

Oh my god, he gave. We had some of these before the steak dinner, and he ordered the most delicious chocolate cake. And it was like three minutes in front of us because it was like two hours in the edible. And it was just, it was crazy. We were both on diets. We said, fucking, it's all over.

I'm getting knee surgery next week. I'm going to get the chocolate cake. It's amazing how you justify bad. Yeah, we just said. Like, oh, I'm getting knee surgery. Oh, you know what? It's Saturday anyway. I just, you know, I messed up yesterday.

I might as well just finish out the weekend and I'll start fresh again on Monday. My wife went out of town. So I knew I was going to take them for a steak. So I went to North Hollywood Park. I got two 35 pound kettlebells, and I went in that motherfucking, went nuts, fucked the knee.

I had to start doing farmer walks and kettlebell swings and cleans. I got back to that call. I was thinking about what that steak, and I sat there for an hour. I sat there for an hour. I went home and made a protein shake, 300 calories, with no carbs.

I went home and sat there with that chocolate fucking shaking my stomach. And when he came over to get me, it was all over. I attacked the steak. I got a chopped salad, and I got the fucking little potato. That's it. It was easy. But the cake was too big.

I couldn't finish it. He couldn't. No, no, we didn't finish it. We split it. We couldn't finish it. It was too much. Ali, you had some? I had a little bit.

You fucked this world up. But I can't do it. How many calories you burned today? Tell Rich Frank on the treadmill. He walked from here to fucking your offices of your company. Just 800. It's like 400 calories.

He walked from here on the treadmill. And I'm trying. Like, I've never been in shape. So it's when you were saying like, no, no, no. When you were saying how you go to sleep after a workout, like take an hour nap, when I started working for the first time in my life, a little over two months ago, when he was on a podcast, I worked out for like 20 minutes.

And I slept for like 17 hours. It was the craziest thing that ever happened. But now, like it's two months in, I'm getting better at it. You're back. You're like a savage. No, but when you were saying, oh, I sleep for an hour, I went home. And I don't think I think this is what you need to do

when you can't sleep at night. Oh, God. Workout? Yeah. Yeah. 24 hours. No, I actually have a question. Because Joey has been on me.

And I'm trying to go earlier in the day to get like my metabolism started and everything. But the reason why I kind of don't like earlier in the day is I feel like I don't have enough energy. Yeah. So is it OK to work out later? Yeah, it is. Listen, there are two things that speed up your metabolism

oddly enough. There are only two ways to speed up your metabolism. That's either working out or putting food in your system. Because you don't do that, right? Yeah, that was the worst. You need to ride out of the gate. I told him to get up and drink water. Yeah.

Dolce says, drink a glass of water. But even still water won't burn things. I mean, it's better than nothing. But you still, like, you're not going to do anything. No, he won't do nothing until 2 o'clock. He won't eat. I will ask him. Oh, that's what he tells me.

I haven't eaten anything. No, I've been better now since I've been on a diet. That's worse for you. So you've got to get up in the morning. Metabolism's flatlined. And then your body goes in storage mode. And as soon as you eat something, it's like, all right. Yeah, that's crazy.

I can't burn this. We were talking about that last night. If we're eating healthy, we'll have one meal and gain seven pounds. It's unbelievable how it just burns. You saw how much food I ate in a day? You'd be like, what? You don't eat at all? No.

No, I mean, I eat so much food. I had my cousin one time. He was doing a Biggest Losers Contest at work. And he calls me up and he's like, hey, man, can you help me with this thing? I'm like, dude, look, if I take time to do your nutrition, like, don't waste my time. He's like, I'll do everything you tell me to.

So I set up his nutritional plan. And I give it to him on spreadsheet. I said, all right, here's the deal. I said, you're going to look at this. And you'll be like, it seems like a decent amount of food. I said, you're going to start eating tomorrow. You're about halfway through your day and think, should I be eating this much food?

And then you're about three quarters away through your day and you're not going to be hungry anymore and you're not going to be able to eat all the food. And you're going to want to call me and say, Rich, you sure I should be eating this much food? At which point, I'm going to say, yeah, eat everything on the list. And events unfolded exactly like that.

But in eight weeks, he lost 48 pounds, 48 and a half pounds or something. And he was eating. He's competing against guys that are just starving themselves and stuff. And he's showing up with more face like he's eating, rubbing it into like, he's like, gosh, man, I'm so full. I can't finish all this quinoa in here.

Like I really would like to give you some, but you're there starving yourself. And but he ended up winning the contest. Nice. That's how I mean, that's how nutrition is, man. If you're eating good food, you're not eating things that are like chips and cookies and stuff like that. I tweeted out one time.

I said, try to, if you're the type of person that sits down and eats like, because I'm, dude, I don't have a stopping mechanism. That's my problem. So I'm either, I'm either 100 miles an hour or zero. There is no in between for somebody like me. And so I like, you know, I'm the kind of guy where if you're like, hey, man, just try this cookie.

I'm like, no, because there's a whole plate there and I'll eat every damn one of them. So I'm that guy, like when I open a pack of Oreos, it's at least a row, if not the entire pack. But I wouldn't like ever finish like midway through a row. Like how are you going to leave a row half on eating? And you know, who eats rookie shit? Exactly.

So if you're going to do something, do it right. But, but yeah, so that's, that's my thing. But so I just don't touch that stuff. But I always, I tweeted out one time. I said, if you like, if you're that kind of person, like try to match the grams of sugar that you just ate in your Oreos with apples. Cause like to eat a row of Oreos is easy for me.

Like I can dust off a row of Oreos and then I'll be sitting there like, I don't, I don't know if I want to start the second row because I got to get through that second row too. You know? And then so it's like, if you eat a whole row of Oreos, it's like the equivalent of like, say like six or seven apples, you know, try to do that. And then you get like two apples in and not in.

And you're like, I can't eat anymore. I'm going to get sick. Eating apples is hard. But it's just crazy. My point is, is that when you're eating nutrient dense food like that and you, you can grant, you can match gram for gram, but you, you can't do it because it's just, you know, cause it's healthy.

Right. Get together, cocksucker. That's all you need to worry about. Eat your breakfast, Lee. We eat your breakfast. Then he got breakfast. He started eating breakfast, but he started eating microwave breakfast.

Put in the fucking microwave. I had to talk about doing egg whites with spinach. No, you don't have to talk about it. Not once. You just don't eat one of those fucking things once. Okay. You were eating them for like three weeks. And I go, you can't microwave your fucking breakfast.

That's what I'm saying. You got to get the fucking, the salads and the whole thing. Even I'm lazy and I'll make a one egg. I'll fry one egg. Every day I have the same thing. What? I have egg whites and which actually aren't as bad as that's how they're going to be.

That's fucking disgusting. Dude, they're, they're bland. Do you put whatever on them? Well, yeah, I know. Yeah. But so A couple spoons. You put some oil cookies on them.

I mean, in theory you could put chocolate sauce on egg whites. Yeah. It sounds disgusting, but I mean, there's no taste to them. And I know this isn't the right way, like the perfect way to do it. But just since this is the first time I'm trying to diet, I'm just doing straight calorie counting. I know there's better ways and you don't have to count some, but it's just, it's easy for me to focus on.

So it's, it's just, it's, but it's, I forgot what I was talking about. Dude, listen. He's high on drugs. He's high on drugs. Calorie counting is not a necessity to live by, but it's a good way to like, it's a good way to give yourself like a marker. Like I'll tell people like, you know, measure out how many grams of carbohydrates you're eating for this meal.

And then, and then section off your sweet potato and see what that is. Like if, if you actually looked at how many calories you need in a day and you say, okay, well, I only need, you know, I only need 45 grams of carbs. And then you see what that is, like in a potato or a sweet potato. And you're like, oh, wow, I only need to eat this much of it, not this much of it. Yeah. It makes you aware of that stuff. You know what I'm saying?

No, yeah. All right. For total optimization, go to honored.com. They got what you need. They got the alpha brain or get your mind shooting fucking cylinders. It's like the fourth of July in your head. I can use it right now. I know you can.

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So go over there. Have you, have you joined up for the stay on it program where they mail it to you directly every month? You get 20% off your first order. Number two, naturesbox.com just sent me a fucking box. Delicious. The lemon, almond, biscott, fucking tremendous. The cinnamon, swirl, kettle corn, tremendous.

I ain't fucking around with you people no more. You got 50% off your first order. All right. 50% off. You don't need to eat white bread or potato chips. These are healthy, nutritious snacks. They come with a seal. You take a handful and you put them back in the tank

and you don't have to act like a savage or your fucking life. And you don't go over your little calorie counter like we. Go to naturesbox.com, press in. Joey. Boom! In the box and get 50% off your first order. Deliver it to your house, to your man cave. I don't give a fuck.

They'll deliver it there. I don't care if you live in Alaska. In an igloo, they'll deliver it there right to your house. Nailed it life. Listen, you want a vapor pen that lasts. What happens if you get hit by a fucking tornado? Everything's gone. You got a vapor pen.

You can get out of it. Go to naturesbox.com and get your vapor pen now. They got t-shirts on there. I love these guys. Dave's a great guy. His brother's great. Go over there and get... What do you get?

20% off the pen. How many percent off? So you get it for 40 fucking bucks. Who's better than you? 40 fucking bucks. You get a nice vapor pen and it doubles as a flashlight. And I'd like to welcome the best sale. I got a pair on these right now.

I also want the jiu-jitsu today. I'm a fat fuck and they staple to your waist. Me on these.com. They got a billboard on Beverly. Tremendous. A hot blonde chick with a thong. You can see a pubic hair sticking out of the side. It's just worth getting the fucking underwears for that.

If you order before September 1st, you get 20% off your first... 20% off! 20% off! What's the code, Lee? Joey. So go to meondies.com. Slash Joey.

Go to the box and press what, Lee? Joey. Joey. Slash Julie. What is it? Make up your mind. It's go to meondies.com. Slash Joey.

They got one of my underwear. They got nice fucking nice. They feel good. Men's and women's. If men's and women's, they're sending us t-shirts and hoodies. If you go to jiu-jitsu and you always get fucked up on the way, like you wear the regular underwears,

your nut always falls out on the way. Not with meundies. That shit stays in there nice. You don't get no moisture in there. It's tremendous. Your balls smell tremendous after jiu-jitsu. A lot of people can't say that, rich friend. No, I don't.

You go to jiu-jitsu, you fucking nut... I think I'm gonna go against him. Your nut smells like Riga Machado's neck. You don't say you don't eat that shit. If you wear meundies, your nuts smell nice and fresh. And that's it. I don't know what to fucking tell you. I'll be back here Monday at 6 AM,

but I'm having surgery Tuesday morning. So I'll be back here next Wednesday. At 8 o'clock, slinging dick and giving out fucking bandages. You understand me? Because that's how we wrote. I want to thank my main man, Matt Fultron, for stopping by. I love you to all my heart.

I love you too. Thank you for having me. I hope we've got something going on. He's going to be in Vegas this week. Friday with Daniel Tosh. Go see him. Fuck up Daniel Tosh. He's a fucking savage.

And we're going to be together at the Bray Emperor. What's the date? It don't matter. September 19th, somewhere around there. That's around there. Just improvise. Rich Franklin, what can I say to you? My main man from Cincinnati.

I got fucking family in Cincinnati. You know how warm that makes my heart feel? How warm? Warm, motherfucker. Warm. Like microwave breakfast or? Warmer than 98.6. Somebody told me that Pete Rose was cubed one time.

I almost fucking died. I don't think so. He's from Santa Park. I know. And I know. Somebody told me, dog, don't tell nobody Pete Rose is cute. I fucking fell in love. I was like, that's my dog.

He was here this Saturday. He was at the Glendale Galleria three years ago. Giving out autographs or like signing shit. And everybody else's box was packed. Nobody was talking to Pete Rose. And Red Band took a picture of Pete Rose just sitting there watching the fucking reading the San Anita forms. Fucking hysterical.

He still goes to the track. Yeah, I love Uncle Pete. You gotta love that, right? Put Pete in the fucking Hall of Fame, cock suckers. I love you. Have a great weekend. Rich Franklin, thank you very much. Thanks for having me.

I love you to death, Matt Foltron. We'll be together. And my main man, the flying Jews, got something to tell you. Drop it on him, Lee. Oh, OK. Go ahead. Look at the shape of you.

Look at the shape of you. Got you in Israel now. They just shoot you. Yeah. Oh, god. OK. All right, here we go. We got shit to do.

Oh, jeez. Lee, come on. Right. Don't wait for me. You want to eat? Lee, you got to close this out, force man. Come on, Lee. Get it together.

Now that the show's over, remember go to naturebox.com. Poor Lee. Look at him. You can do it, man. Come on, Lee. You can do this. You can do this shit. Let's go.

Throw it at the end of the podcast. Come on, Lee. Read the fucking thing. Look at the shape. Lee's got the giggles. Oh, shit. One leg's up before you. All right, guys.

Have a great weekend. Stay black. God loves you. Yeah. Close the door. Put out the light. No, they won't be home tonight. Snow falls hard and don't you know?

The wind is a flower blowing cold. They're wearing steel that's bright and dry. They're carrying yellows that must skip through. They're just a plant where no one's gone. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. They won't stop blowing. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh yum kurwa Walking side by side with them Devil maps there every stair Snow drives by the foot that's slow The dogs will do my howl and moan

They carry news that must get through To build a train for me and you Devil maps there no one knows Devil maps there no one knows Devil maps there no one knows They ask no cars They walk no cars They ask no cars

They ask no cars They ask no cars Alright guys I'm back sorry about that Now that the show is over remember go to NatureBox.com In order of great tasting healthy snacks at 50% off Snacks smarter in the new year with healthy and delicious treats Like everything bagel chips and baked sweet potato fries Support this podcast and get 50% off

Your first order go to NatureBox.com promo code Joey That's NatureBox.com promo code Joey The show is also sponsored by Onit.com Go there for Alpha Brain, New Mood, Shroom Tech Commune, Shroom Tech Sport And then like that use code word church to get 10% off And before September 1st go to MeetUndies.com Slash Joey and get 20% off of your underwear order Men's and Women's and go to NailedItLife.com

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