Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #210 | LEE SYATT | UNCLE JOEY’S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: November 3, 2022

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY’S JOINT..... It’s Thursday, November 3rd… This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT! https://www.onnit.com This episode is also brought to you by Stamps.com & CBD Lion… STAMPS.COM Visit https://www.stamps.com & use code JOEY to get a free trial. CBD Lion Go to https://www.cbdlion.com Use Promo Code: JOEY For 20% OFF Your Order! Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget..... The Mind Of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #displate #manscaped #bluechew #CBDLion #stamps The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint

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Now without further ado, I got a little Lee in studio. Let's get this party started. Check one, two, welcome to Uncle Joey's joint. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? It's a beautiful Wednesday here on Uncle Joey's joint. My main man is in studio today. We got a show tonight, so fuck you. You know how we do it?

Just getting ready last night. We got a little tuned up. Lee ate 40 milligrams. 40, liar. You thought he ate like fucking 200. 40 milligrams. Yeah, yeah. And I'm eight feet tall and have a six pack.

Oh my God. He was fucked up and so was I. He got off on one little mushroom thing. One little, yeah, yeah. Okay. One little one. No, there was multiple. It was one mushroom.

A lot of substances. And it was fucking edible. 40 milligrams. That's it. 40 milligrams. You don't have anything in the house that's 40 milligrams. I did a good job. I got 25 and 50.

So they add up to fucking 40 milligrams. Even that's 75. No, 25 and 25 is 50. The worst case scenario you could ate was 25 fucking milligrams last night. Worst case yet. 40, 40. I'm sorry. I'm getting all confused.

I might be having a stroke. 40 fucking milligrams he ate last night. I had to wake him up 10 times during the fucking thief. I was getting into that movie. Yeah, that was a good move. I've never seen it. It was, it was crazy. The coolest class I ever took was a 1970s film class.

And I could just tell by the intro to the movie that it was from, like you said, it was like 80. So it was like right on that edge. Yeah. They made that in 79. In 80. But that intro was just so cool. It was just, it was long.

He didn't say anything. No, it was nothing to fucking say. Yeah. It was a cool. I wish I could have finished it, but it was Mike. One of Michael man's earlier movies. And he was fucking good at Michael man. Like, you know, everybody's good in the beginning when you, then they branch out.

But Michael man was fucking good. He did that other movie. Mine hunter or something that we covered. And thief. The first time I saw a thief, I thought I was going to jump out a fucking window. Cause it answered all my quote, like anything I had in my mind, that mindset he had about nothing means nothing and fucking, you know, you expect these things to happen and then nothing happens.

Just all those things suck me to fucking. And I mean, that's why I became a thief because of that movie. I loved it so much. We should get, we should, that's why you became a thief. I swear to God. Jesus Christ. That movie throw me insane. I got into alarms and electronics and how to tap into alarms.

That's all I wanted to learn. And then when I went to snow mass village, I bumped into an electrician and he was teaching me how to fucking do the alarms. But every time I did a real live on whatever, I would get caught like the fucking alarm would go off or something like that. So I just learned to break the window and run in and take everything. Yeah. And the cops could get there because I wasn't going to alarm system.

I can't, I can't imagine you messing with alarms. You seem much more like kick grab run. No, I was an electrician and one of the reasons why it became a residential wireman thinking back is because I'll get a quick class and wiring and alarm systems and shit. But it never fucking had never fucking panned out. You know, it never really panned out. Well, thank God. No.

My thieving career never really took off. I might rock this fucking Coke dealers house one time and I actually took it like me and my two buddies took the suction cup and we were going to cut the glass like with the suction cup. That's a real thing. I thought that was just in movies. That's a real thing you can get. Yeah, you could do it if you specialize trained in it.

You have to get the suction cup and then go around and the suction cup pulls out the glass. We were there for like two hours trying to cut the glass. We just punched the fucking glass at one and a half to an hour. I'm going to sit out here and fucking scrape a glass. That's exposure. You know, we had to rob this guy in the daytime because he worked. I don't know what his schedule was.

We used to have to rob him while he went to shop right or something. Jesus. But yeah, that movie fucking put me over. When I was my senior summer in high school, HBO wasn't like it was today. Okay. Yeah. HBO was HBO. That's it.

There was no HBO Latino. No HBO family. No HBO exclusive. None of this shit. You know, it was just HBO and HBO didn't have in 1980. They didn't have 3000 movies to pick from and they didn't have 2000 series. So they played a whole bunch every night. They pretty much played the same movies only in different orders.

Okay. But there was a short time period in my life from like October of 81 to like January of 82 that the thief, the raging bull and Hollywood nights was on every night in that order. Sometimes it would be raging bull, Hollywood nights or the thief or sometimes it would be. So you'd catch it every night at some point. Every night. So I would come home and get my brother, Mike.

We'd walk down a pathmark shop, lift the shit out of that place with four bucks in preparation for the thief. You're like, we got to. Oh, we get prepared for this. We got to steal something to watch the thief tomato soup and protein shakes with eggs. We germ fucking eggs. We used to put everything in a protein shake and drink it. Oh, I didn't.

I didn't steal it, but I love to go. I love going to the store before like I have a really good movie. I want to watch. You get to get the menu. Oh yeah. You just walk around. That looks good. I love when I used to fucking be younger.

I would get like spreads of Chinese food. Like I would just get pork fried rice, two entrees, and then every appetizer, a fucking dumpling, a fucking egg roll, sparrows soup, a spare rib steak on a stick. And I just sit there and watch three or four movies in a day. Yeah. Like when fucking in snow mass village, when the season ends, there's nothing to do. April 15th. That's it.

It's over. Everybody goes home. And all the whole city is melting. That whole movie, that whole fucking mountain of snow has to fucking melt. So there's nobody around. So I used to just work a video store like at night from five to seven, going there to bring back movies for people to rent movies. It was my busiest time, but I swear to God, I used to get up at eight, walk the dog, fucking

eat breakfast and wait for the Chinese restaurant to open. Yeah. Oh, and it was shitty Chinese food. And I just sit there and watch three, four movies, eating a pack of egg roll, egg roll, smoke a joint, then you hit the ribs, smoke a joint, take a shit, egg fried rot, pork fried rice. Even shitty Chinese food is a, is pretty good Chinese food. No, but you're burping during the movie.

Who cares? You're by yourself. You gotta shit a piece of moogle guy pans in your rib. I don't want to go through that either. Oh yeah, you're going to have some, it's going to be smelly, but it's going to be fun. Last night you said something to my wife at dinner that was talking about Popeye's chicken or something. Oh yeah.

And I, and I wanted to tell you the last time I went to Popeye's chicken was the one on our corner. Right. We had the one on Laurel Canyon. Right. Yeah. You never went there. It was two blocks from my house.

Of course I went there. You walked there backwards. Oh my God. I know you did. They, when that. Oh, Lee was surrounded. He had, he had fucking Popeye's chicken. Jack in the box.

Popeyes. Jack in the box. You know what? And I did it. Subway. Someone taught me the fattest move ever. Popeye, if you know it, Laurel Canyon to Magnolia, there's a Popeyes and across the street is a Wiener-Snitchell slash Frosty Freeze.

Now the Wiener-Snitchell, even as fatt as I was, is disgusting. Disgusting. Frosty Freeze, on the other hand, is fantastic. So people, it's literally across a four lane street. So you'd go out of the drive-thru of Popeyes and if you timed it just right, you go immediately, you wouldn't even take a turn. You would just go straight into the drive-thru of Frosty Freeze. You'd get a milkshake and an ice cream and I lived, like it was the fact that I drove

there was crazy. It took more time to drive than it would have taken to walk, but there was no way I was going to walk and I would do, oh, that, yeah, no, I'm not going in. You can't even go in. That's how disgusting Wiener-Snitchell is. It's just a stand. It really is. It really is.

But it's, oh, but yeah, the last time you went, you were saying about Popeyes. So what was the other place? You said there was one. There was Jack in the box. There was Taco Bell down the street by your block. Jack in the box was up Laurel down right by that Starbucks. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh yeah. That, that was not a good. There was, you were positioned around. Oh, that was fat heaven. Then there was Yum Yum's right down the street. Dude, I went to, I did the math. I think I spent in my 10 years in LA, I think I spent a hundred grand on fast food probably

eating, eating not just fast food, but the majority of it fast food. I could tell you every McDonald's, Taco Bell, Wendy's within the Valley, within, from Sepulveda to Lancashire. I know most of them because I know, I know which ones are open late because that one on Burbank and Lancashire, no, not Burbank and Lancashire, Lancashire and the, right by the church, Riverside, Riverside and Lancashire. That one's open late, but sometimes you'd catch a line there. So I'd go to other ones.

One of them, Victory's not bad. That's the book, that's the book, The Fat Man Guide to Eating. Oh, but it wasn't even like, the thing that you said that, and I hate that it's right, but it's like, if you're going to eat, save it for something good, like towards the end of me being fat, I'd go to McDonald's and even, I liked it, but half the time the fries are cold. It's not even good. Like going back to, I was just in LA for a week and I think I had Mexican food nine

times in six days and that, that was worth it. I gained like seven pounds in the week and I didn't care at all because I just ate there. That's what you go to LA for, not for, like, I even had a plan to go to Jack in the Box in my trip back. I had a plan because like, I can't get that out here. I didn't even go. What would you go into Jack in the Box and take of? Dude, when we were doing a podcast, and this is, and this is how bad it was.

My menu didn't really change, but we were doing the podcast at six in the morning for a while and I would go to Jack in the Box after cause you'd give me edibles and I wouldn't have to work till nighttime. So that was my dinner cause I'd come straight from work. You'd get, you'd get, and see the problem with Jack in the Box is, so my normal fast food is either the one burger, one big burger with two chicken things or one chicken thing with two like dollar menu burgers. The problem with Jack in the Box is their burgers and their chicken sandwiches aren't

when you get a jack, when you're going to Jack in the Box, you're going for those tacos, those disgusting tacos. The big one. No. Well, yeah. Yeah. Like it's two for 99 cents. That's definitely horse or something.

I'd get the burgers, but the burgers, my, like my fat place was Wendy's. Wendy's was, and thank God it wasn't that close. But the Wendy's was where I'd get, go ham. I'd get towards the end, I would get a large fry and a small fry. How long did you eat fast food for? From you being a kid or? Not really. My mom occasionally, very occasionally.

I didn't start really getting fat until I got my car, because then I could like go to lunch off school and then I went to college in Boston. So I was fat, but like I kept it under control because I could eat. When I first moved to LA and I was working nights is just when it fucking went. It was my entire trash can was just bags and cups. Because I just go, I'd go to fast food every day. It's, I don't know, Lee, I just was never really like a big fail. Listen, we all have fucking shit that we wrestle with.

I mean, last night we came home stoned with a neat, but I fucking 10 of my daughters Halloween candies. You know, well, I eat Halloween candies again tonight. Not at all. It's, it's so weird how my logic is like I'll eat it one time and that's it. I'll do I go to the gym for four days before I slip up again. Yeah, I, I can't. I people talk about like it being getting easier.

It's still like we got my favorite thing in this area. I think you call it shrimp beats. It's like fried shrimp with like red sauce on it. And that's all it is, but it, the shrimp is great and the red sauce is great. So we got that, but it had, they put a nice piece of fresh bread with just sauce poured on top and the, the fact that I didn't eat it. Like we, like we bet down here, you could have, I would have bet against myself because I can't, it's hard for me not to eat stuff.

Like if I see stuff like that, or if like, I don't know, like with you, with Mercy or Terry, if they don't finish something, do you finish it? No, I can't. I can't, it's, I will destroy it. It's crazy how I was never really a fill. Listen, we all eat some type of junk. Nobody's fucking perfect. Okay.

Everybody eats some type of junk food. You pick up a cookie here and especially when you have kids, you know, and I learned that the hard way this summer, because this summer I was doing a lot more with the kids and I'm like, oh, I'm going to jujitsu. I can get away with eating this. No, you can't, no, you can't. And I was buying like Italian Isis Italian Isis are a hundred calories. Geno's the, the no sugar ones, the 100 calories, but that's great until you look

at the label and you're like, uh, it really is a hundred calories for a spoon. Yeah, there's eight servings in some of this much. They don't fucking tell you that should be illegal. I think that should be illegal. They're just trying to fuck with that people. I was eating two Italian Isis at night. Gina, you know, until one day I looked at the box and I'm like, what the fuck am I doing with my life?

You know, it's not ice cream. You, you, you, you know, like I said, we all can't be fucking virgins. You know, if somebody maintains it because they're fighting or something, that's great. Right. But this is life. You're going to have, uh, you know, everyone has something that did yours. Remember, I used to always say that to you.

Okay, I'm going to eat rice patties and tuna. Okay. You're going to lose 200 pounds eating that, but how are you going to sustain that? So that means you're going to have to eat that the rest of your life or how are we going to do this? How are we going to fucking do this? So what does this mean? When you stop eating the rice cakes and tuna, what are we going to eat?

And by that time you're going to bust and you're going to maintain for a while. And then you're going to want to eat a cheeseburg. I mean, we're all fucking sinners when it comes to that shit. Fast food. I don't know, Lee. I just listen. I think that the country, I think that the way it goes is when kids go to college because they're pinching for money, they fucking eat shittiest stuff.

But it's against everything. You know, it's like smoking cigarettes. You see somebody smoking a cigarette today. Like, how the fuck are you smoking the cigarette? You know, what the fuck after all the propaganda that's out there and all the bullshit? You're still smoking the cigarette, no matter what. I think it was laziness for me with the fast food because I was just tired. I was I was working and I would be like 12 hours between driving there and driving back.

And I just didn't. It was just late. It wasn't good. Like I do like it, but yeah, it's just saving time. But it also it gets addicting. It's fucking crazy what it does. I like I like our your friends just did sober October. I do sober October other than weed, I guess. But drinking wise, I could do the sober year and I wouldn't even notice. It just has not even the least.

I if we if we're going out and I have a drink, right? I enjoy it, but it's not. You could tell me that alcohol disappeared and it wouldn't do shit to me. And there's people who love it. And it's just I got unlucky to mind his food, I guess. I got the same luckily, because I don't like fucking alcohol. I can't even imagine having a drink like a fit between a drink and a spare rib, a Chinese restaurant close.

I'm not even, you know, if it's again, if it's a fucking cocktail or a fucking Italian spare rib from the feast. I'm not I'm not there's no question that, you know, so that's always very, very easy for me. But I was I also have the bad luck that I love food, man. I love I listen, I love reefer and I love food. And I'm not going to sit here because when I'm talking to you, I'm thinking about my batches with fast food. My bad and bolder.

There's no fucking fast food. I mean, it's too nice. Abo's pizza or something like that, but I didn't eat that shit at all. You know, and then I think when I got to when I first started selling cars, there was a jack in the box up the corner. And again, you're working 12, 13 hour days. You're not going to go home and make a fucking bowl of chicken soup. So you go to jack in the box and I never ate the burgers.

I used to eat the seafood salad. Oh, that's the seafood. And you never got sick. I would just get nervous. At that point, my body couldn't get sick. I was so cold. I was working out. I was living in high altitudes.

I was, you know, I was athletic. So my body, I was eating a seat, but this is the clinic. I was eating the lettuce, tomato, salad, right? And they sprinkle like artificial crab meat, right? They take like lizard and spray painted. So you think it's crab? They spray paint that white and put like Indian red on the side, you know? So we fucking eat it.

Like I went somewhere. My wife brought home a lobster bisque a couple of weeks ago. She goes, try it. It was horrible. And to add insult to injury, they put artificial crab meat in it. Hello, the fake lobster bisque. Why is there crab meat in this motherfucker and not even real crab? At least put some Jersey iodine crab.

Yeah. So they take a losing eye or say, I ate some. This is nothing that was just artificial crab meat. But that was, but I was also drinking and I got no reason to lie. I would also, I was also drinking the biggest fucking ice tea they sold. Oh, yeah. This thing was a bucket. And I still remember pulling over, you know, when you give me the drive-in, yeah, pulling over in the Subaru and pouring out like two inches in the top, because I'd put easy.

I just bought a fucking pour of sugar. I used to just go to fucking. Was it unsweetened ice tea or was it already sweetened? It had unsweetened. It had to be, I don't know, 32 ounces, the big one. You know, after a while, it gets old to open up sugar packages. Yeah, fuck that. 50 of them. I would just sit there and I'm not ready.

I would put so much like with a box of sugar. Yeah, I would just pour it in and it would be like two inches of sugar in the bottom and I just stare it up. I love that when I drank my ice tea and you drink it, you get the sugar crystal. You're like, oh, fuck, that's good. Yeah, that's how you. So one day I got on a scale and I was 18 pounds heavier. Yeah, oh, yeah. I'm like, two 15.

I'm like, why am I two 15? I eat a salad every day. Duh, box of domino fucking sugar every three days. That's crazy. I was buying a box like the little, you know, not the big thing with that leaks, the box with the metal and board into the. I would keep in the glove compartment. Who does that?

I know people bring hot sauce, you know, and you're like, what the fuck is wrong with you? But I had my own sugar for those things. So and right before I got sentenced, yeah, right before I committed to crime, I was eating fucking seafood salads every day. But that's that's a crazy place to gain weight. You just mentioned jail. I hear people sometimes gain a lot of weight in jail because like they go to like the store or whatever and get all those cakes.

What you have is you. But then again, this is food for thought to for you guys that want to buy protein powders and think protein powders are fucking going to get you big. Look at those guys in prison. When I was in prison, I was in the best shape in my life because my snacks were sardines. Oh, OK, I refuse to. You know, you can go home and you went to the store for 20 minutes.

Right. They sell commissary. OK. You know, which is everything in the world for you. And they sell fucking, you know, beef jerky, popcorn, Oscar Maya fucking salami, none of that shit's good for you. When I got when I was in the system going to my destination, sure, I fucking ate whatever they gave you. Plus you eat starch. That's all you're eating is pasta rice.

The meat ain't that real good. By the time you get to your destination, you already know and you talk to these people who don't give a fuck what they eat. And then there's a couple of black dudes that are in shape. And they're like, don't eat that. Eat that. Get your protein from that source. It's fucking wild. But I was locked up with guys that were yoked.

Some of them did get steroids sent in there. But there was like 10 of them that were yoked from being in there for four years doing push ups, pull ups, squats, running. That's what they did. Jesus. And they had veins all over their fucking bodies. And they drank water and, you know, I drank Kool-Aid when I was in jail. That's, you know, there's no soda, right? But I'm not going to drink water.

It's bad enough you're in jail. I got to drink fucking water. You know what I'm saying? Room temperature tap water to coming out of the toilet. The fuck you. I want my fucking Kool-Aid. So it's kind of weird. It's a there's people who do take the care of themselves in there. You know, listen, when we ate the nachos, we use government cheese.

And we melted it in a bucket with a fucking iron. Like, you know, the irons. Yeah. Take the iron rod out. Yeah. And that's how they melt that cheese. That cheese can't be any good for you. No, you're getting cancer from that cheese for sure. That cheese, that's what your choices are. So I made a choice to eat fucking.

Oh, what flavor were they? Lemon flavored sardines or some shit that was the yellow can. We used to just sit there at night with fucking crackers. Your piss smells weird. Your piss smells like fucking I would piss. It took me like six months to get out of jail. When I got out of prison for my piss to change smells. Oh, because there's got to be something in that fucking sardine.

There's got to be a lot of bad shit in there, too. Yeah. Do you ever do you ever, like, grab a can just for old time's sake? Do you ever miss sardines and crackers? I'm going to be as honest with you motherfuckers as I can. I remember sitting in the joint and ask him and saying, wow, I'm going to eat sardines the rest of my fucking life. I'm going to be as honest with you motherfuckers as I can. I haven't seen a sardine since they let me out of that fucking.

Once I I'm like those born again Christians in jail. Once they get out, they throw the book up in the air. Fuck that. I thought I love sardines to the minute I stepped foot on that fucking thing. I'm not even eating Caesar salad anymore, but then. But the funny thing is that I went somewhere to a fucking high level restaurant a couple of months ago. I don't know what restaurant it was, and they had sardines on the menu

and an Italian fucking heavy duty. You know, I used to eat smelts, right? Like in a can with oil, right? Why? That's what you eat when you're in jail, right? I don't know what they probably had sardines. They were a little higher class restaurant. I would hope it wasn't canned. Yeah, the fucking canned sardines.

You can see that missing eye. They got fucking male pattern baldness already. They're a little fish. They got no hair, you know, they're fucking they're fucking nuts, those sardines. And then, you know, so yes, I was my when I was selling cars, I was making money, right? I didn't even use my kitchen. I was 25 and single.

I'm not going to use my kitchen, so I get it. You're not going to use your kitchen. I'm not going to go home and make chicken cacciatori after a 12 hour fucking day. Some people do. Dogs, people do. Listen, man, anybody. There's the big thing. It's so weird that people haven't put this together. When you see these Hollywood celebrities and they're like, I worked out today

and I ran at the gym and I did all this shit. They have nothing else to do all day. Right. When women feel insecure because they see Jennifer Lopez and they're like, why can't I look that way? I'll tell you why, because you work in a fucking office and you're sitting there and Mildred, she brings cookies every fucking day, you know? Yeah. And and it's also you're not getting millions of like if I would like to think if I had a Marvel movie on the line,

I could put down the cheeseburger for a couple months, but you never. I mean, it's it's also just at a certain point, like what you were saying earlier, you crack, like even if people always tell you to meal prep. Now, I tried every meal delivery service, everyone that you cook yourself, that you just put in the microwave. They all sucked. Some of them. Yeah, most of them sucked.

Most some of them are OK, but I don't know what I want to eat for dinner tonight two weeks ago. No. So I would let most of them I threw away thousands of dollars because I didn't know what I like. I'm just not the person I and I could. But like I couldn't have chicken breast rice and broccoli every every day for every meal. It's I wish I wish I could, but I'll just I'll lose.

I'll go crazy. That's not go crazy. And I'll just end up in a drive through like I'll just I'll kind of like I'll snap a little bit and just I mean, listen, man, there's a thousand ways to get healthy and they don't all require meal prep. We just get lazy. We have we have busy lifestyles. And we don't know. Listen, I know 20 heavyweight people don't even know where to start to lose weight.

They don't know people don't they really don't. And I mean, listen, you do. OK, push yourself away from the fucking table and stop eating the briars ice cream. OK, at night, that's that's the simple way. But for some people, that seems out of reach. And I was one of those people. Yeah, me too. The weight watches and go, this is going to work.

I was I thought I was lying to myself. You know, I do you told you were on me to go to Weight Watchers for years. I went to the last Weight Watchers meeting in LA before the pandemic. I went and like the next day, everything closed and I was so fucking happy because I wouldn't have to go to Weight Watchers. I got to find the Weight Watchers meeting around here because I like those meetings. And I could see them being very helpful. I think when I was that big, the problem was like,

it was like the only thing giving me happiness. I'm like, so I'm I'm I'm going to I'm going to not eat it. And then like for what? Like because when you were saying people don't know what to do. People can make you like you can make a mistake like the Italian ice. Like, oh, this is two servings. I think everyone knows what to do. You just I don't want to have salad.

Like like last night at that place, there were 40 things I would have had rather have had than the Greek salad that I had. Now, granted, I had fried shrimp before and we had we got so messed up. I had croissant French toast for dessert. But when I ordered when I ordered originally, I made a good choice. But it's just you don't want to in the moment, you just like, fuck it, I want a steak. I want a burger. I don't and look, it's like sort of like working.

Like when you go from college to a job, you're like, wait, this is every day. Like it's like the first week of a diet. You're pretty good, usually you get motivated to lose a little weight. And then three months in, you're like, you hit a plateau and you're having cauliflower rice again, you're like, fuck it. I'm going to I'm going to gain it back anyways. Let's just fucking enjoy it. And then and then you do that for a little bit.

And then suddenly the pants you bought don't fit anymore and you're depressed. So there's a happy medium in life. Yeah. And you can eat healthy for 10 days. And then one day have a fucking Carvel shake. And you can't beat yourself up over it because you're doing the work. It's not like I sit here every night, like typical America, how they want you to do and just eat a bag of chips every night. If it was up to us, we'd eat a bag of chips every night.

That's how we were with the pie ice cream. Yeah, that's how we were raised. That's how, you know, it's my time. I find ice cream, whatever the fuck it is, but we're never raised to eat an apple. You know, these are the little things I told my wife, I go, I was having a hard time just picking up a piece of fruit the daytime. I just have a hard time. I'll do it for three days in a row. Then I won't do it for a week.

It's just let's just cut the fruit up in the mornings. Don't cut it an hour before. Let's chop it up in the morning before we eat breakfast. And I incorporate a bowl of fruit. I've always loved fruit for breakfast. When I go to a fucking place and they give you two eggs and bacon and they give you that little cup of petrified fruit. I eat that petrified fruit first,

especially if it's got like blueberries or raspberries in it. But to get back to the other thing, and it is economic, you know, now that it's not, listen, go buy a steak today. Go get a steak today. And you're going to be in shock. You're really going to be in shock whether you go to Menalapandina or whether you go to Charles Steakhouse. You're going to be in shock by the sticker.

You're going to steak's eye and so am I. It's in the air tonight, you know what I'm saying? Joey's grocery store. So steaks are high. Steaks are high. Eggs are high. So what does a family do? They have to resort to the Boston Market dinner deal.

Which ain't bad. I've been there. Doug, for years, I ate Boston Market Turkey for Thanksgiving. Yeah. OK. Because for a guy like me as a single guy with a girlfriend, I'm not going to make the fucking turkey. OK, that and Boston Market Turkey is Turkey's Turkey. Turkey's fucking Turkey. OK.

No calories, high in protein. It puts you to sleep, you know, but for me, I don't know if Boston Market is even considered fast food. I don't know. I know the chicken is horrible. They started using cancer chickens from fucking Bolivia or something. That's where I'd go when I was tricking, when I was trying to trick myself, thinking I was eating healthier. I think I'll go to Boston Market.

But then the yeah, the yeah, you're like, the problem isn't the chicken or the turkey. It's a mass potato. And the yams with the marshmallows on top of that cream, that cream spinach. And the fucking loot. But it's there's ways to do it. There's ways to do it. But it's it's very tough, even to be honest, even fast food is expensive now.

So like what? Holy shit. Yeah. A couple of weeks ago, I got up on a Saturday morning. I got up a little early. My wife was sleeping. I said, let me be a good husband and go over to McDonald's and just get three egg McMuffins. Yeah. That's it. Three egg McMuffins ain't going to kill you.

The points are low. No, it's a real egg. They crack it. Yeah. It's like 12 points on there, some eight points. Not that bad. You don't need the potato pancake. Oh, I do. And I drink a little bit of the orange juice for four ounces. You know, you're trying to try it.

That's not the point of the story. Point of the story was I got three breakfasts and two cinnamon rolls, one for mercy. Have you had the cinnamon rolls from McDonald's? Yes. They're the best fucking cinnamon rolls you've ever had in your life. They don't skimp on that white cream. Yeah. You ever get a cinnamon roll?

They always skimp on the white cream. You ever make them at home? Pillsbury always gives you that package that don't have enough cream for all of them. You're like, motherfucker, they give you just enough and shit like this. I would be I would become like a mathematician. Like I would scoop just the same amount. And then I would just rag it on the pan.

I would I would take it like it was a chip with dip and I would scoop the cup. But the ones in McDonald's aren't bad. You get them when they're hot. I'm telling you if they're hot. Everybody went down the drain. Like if you go to any place in Jersey, any supermarket, you walk in has that little tray with the cinnamon rolls or they got the other muffins on that.

Where would you walk in those? They don't have a fuck that big and they're not bad. But they're great McDonald's, fucking whatever. Anyway, how much was it? Thirty seven dollars. Fuck you. Thirty seven fucking three egg sandwiches and two. Yeah, no, I told my show, my wife, the receipt. I was like, it's going to be a cold winter, gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm not sitting here just dropping stupid shit. I'm telling you that don't take much. That restaurant we went to last night. I got bad news for you. That motherfucker's packed seven days a week. Yeah, good stuff. There's always going to be people there. There wasn't a lot of people.

I mean, no, there was people there, but it wasn't slam. That fucking gay guy saying happy birthday. Five happy birthday with that fucking we were dying. I even told the guy you like the official birthday singer because gay people love birthdays. I don't know if it's about gay men. They could they have laid on the feet. They were like the white socks and they float up and down and shit.

This guy was so happy every time because he came out of the back like, oh, you ever see the bird cage? Yeah, I love that movie. So what's Robin Williams? What's the other dude that the Spanish made? Oh, oh, oh, is. Yeah, please, please. That's a great movie.

That mother, you do. You do not like my spot. And what you do not like my betters. Well, in this my heat is like is kid. What's his name is kid? Is that him some? Yeah, Hank is area Hank is area. But he would do.

He would always when they were singing happy birthday. He's like, happy birthday to you with the gay voice. Fucking tremendous. That's a great movie, dog. Yeah, bird cage is fucking Gene Hackman. To see Gene Hackman in the French connection, chasing fucking black people and get hit by cars and then to see him in fucking. Well, you know, you're the dad, they don't want to tell him.

The bird cage. Oh, my God. I love all that shit. But just to keep this conversation on track to talk about when I lived with Josh Wolf, guys, 97 to 99. Now, after, after I snorted all the Taco Bell money after, after I snorted the Taco Bell money, the shells, the fucking sour cream after I snorted everything, I went into a deep fucking period.

We all were from the end of nine to beginning of 99. Like the end of 98 to 99 was a rough that one summer. I'll never forget 98 going into 99 was a rough summer. That's when I used to rob cigarettes from the gas station in the morning and I'll put cigarettes on the arm. I would steal a pack and put it back on credit. And it's by one going for you. Just didn't know and then I would go to Josh Wolf's and

hopefully he had a turkey burger or I would wake up Ralphie May and hopefully he could give me five bucks and I would walk to Wendy's and get the five bucks in those days. I get the junior cheese burger. I get the bowl of chili because that I needed the most bang for my fucking buck. I got five hours here, man. I get the bowl of chili and the junior cheese burger and I'd fucking get

like a large iced tea and I'd just lurk around the salad bar. Like they always had the salad bar when it was yellow. I remember. I remember all my yellow Wendy's was a great place. And guys, when I was eating that shit, do you think I was thinking about my health? Do you think I was thinking about the carbohydrate value in this shit? I was just looking to survive. Yeah, I'm doing comedy.

When I was on the road early on, I was eating Subway sandwiches. At least I wasn't eating the turkey and all that shit. I was getting veggie and cheese, you know, but I know what it's like to have a veggie and cheese for lunch and have a veggie and cheese for dinner in your car, that's part of doing comedy. That this is it. You wanted it. You got it.

Okay. You wanted it. You got it. Like AC DC said, it's a long way to the top. If you want to rock and roll and this is fucking part of it. And so that was the thing I went on. And then I went to Florida when my apartment got towed and things changed after that, and I never stepped fucking foot in Wendy's ever again.

I don't blame you. And then over the years, it's always been. I'm like any other body, man, I'm an American and every once in a while, I want to fucking quarter pounder. Oh, yeah. Every once in a while, I want a quarter pounder and red band. That motherfucker told me that quarter pounders are the only hamburger that McDonald's sells that is really meat.

Deal. You have to look this up. Everything else is like meat by products and fucking donkey tail. Yeah, they sell it for a dollar four. Yeah. Like, I can't like, but those I'll eat the fuck out of some nuggets. Oh, but yeah, those quarter, those quarter pounders aren't bad. McNuggets are nasty.

Yeah, it's it's it's it's chicken hot dogs that are fried. But yeah, quarter pounders. Listen, when you eat McDonald's, you just it's like even White Castle, you bite into it, you close your eyes and you say enjoy. When I go to White Castle, I don't eat 15 burgers. I eat three because that's what my conscious could live with. Right. Three double burgers with steamed cheese, the fries and the fucking Pepsi

with the soda and I eat it and I don't look back because I know I'm not going to eat it again tomorrow. This is just a situation that happened the day I got, you know, we moved here. We went to White Castle two times in three months. Ask me if I've been there again. No, that's my daughter. You want to go to White Castle? Look at you.

Okay. But, you know, these are the things you do in economic. Yeah. When you're in economic dire situations, you know, when I look at and I don't, I'm not here to judge or say anything wrong with that. But when I go into a store that has a family dinner, I kind of like that place. If you know anything about me and my beef with the American family. So any place that I see has like a family bargain, like, you know, Sundays.

Yeah. Like any, like notice, you feed the kids free on Sunday. Oh, perfect. I'll go there every Sunday. It's, it's my, you know what I'm saying? You don't think of going to knowners, but for them to do that, I support knowners from time to time because they do that. They, I'm big on that.

If I go to one night, like Austria and Marlboro, it costs you eight dollars to walk in the door there. Okay. It's going to cause you eight dollars. You're going to get the best food. You're going to, it's going to be fresh. The lettuce is fresh. Everything's fresh, but you're going to spend eight dollars to walk in.

Is that the place where they come around with the Parmesan cheese to put it on for you? That's like, it's already graded and then just some guy with a spoon. Yeah. It's tremendous. That, that, that's, it costs you eight dollars to fucking, but on a Monday night, when you do a 1695 burger, which in, if you go to the best burger in Jersey and the stage, it's $24 for that burger.

And it's fucking mind boggling. It's a, it's a fucking sexual experience. Okay. When you bite into the cheeseburger at the stage, it's a sexual experience. It's better than eating pussy the first time you sit there and stare up into the sky. What's so good about it? What do they do?

I have no idea. I don't know what it's. Don't I've been in there with gorillas that want a steak and they'll still get a cheeseburger. The last time I went, we got six steaks and we got two cheeseburgers chopped up. God bless you. Four pieces. Yeah.

Just cut it each person. We told them the manager came over. It's like, you guys look a little confused. What's going on? We're like, man, we're in a steakhouse and all of us like we're in a steakhouse. We really want to get a steak on a lobster tail, but God damn that fucking burger is really it's the number one burger in New York city. Wow.

They, they, and it's in Jersey and they took it off the list after one, four years in a row, like we can't, how can the best Jersey in New York be in fucking Jersey? That's crazy. But yeah, those you called me when I was in LA. I was at probably one of my top happy hours that I know of Sushi Dan from like three to five. I would, I love happy hours. I don't, when you go in and the roles are usually 12, but there are six or something.

I went in there and had like an $80 lunch, but it was because I fucking had, I just didn't stop. I'll, I'll, a happy hour, especially at a sushi place where you sit at the, at the sushi bar and this guy starts giving you ones you didn't order. Oh, I love a happy hour. Cause that's, cause that, that's when you can really get your money's worth. That's when you're like, fuck it. I'm going to, you know, when I used to go to San Jose with you, right?

I loved the original job. Oh yeah. We fucking ran through original job. That place was great. You could get a side of ravioli. I've never even had that before. But, but before I hit all those restaurants, I always went to McCormick and Schmitz.

I support McCormick and Schmitz to the end because when we were starving comics, those motherfuckers had a $2 menu and they never turned me away. I will never forget that. I, if I see a McCormick and Schmitz, if I go to anywhere, Toledo, Kentucky, wherever I go, when they go, go down there, there's a bunch of restaurants. You're like, you'll see a California, you know, what's the California pizza kitchen here, California pizza, no, but what's the other one? The cheesecake factory, you know, when you,

like when you go to Columbus, Ohio, and you stay at the hotel, just walk. You're going to hit all of them. Every chain you want, you know, whatever, from the steakhouse to fucking the little ones. But if I see a McCormick and Schmitz, they all go out the window. I go support them first because when me, Josh Wolf, Brody, we were broke fucking comics and I'm talking about guys, you know, when you're like looking at a bag of chips going, I hope this thing has protein in it.

When you're at the comedy club and you're like, I hope they make a mistake with the kitchen, that type of hunger. And we were going to McCormick and Schmitz and they had a $2 fucking menu. And I would, if we had $50, think of the damage you could do on a $2 menu. The $2 menu was from four to seven and from 10 to close. And he'd be there at what, 10, oh, one. We get there right after the show. We get there at 11, 15, maybe and stay till two.

It was $2 for a bottle of Coke. Okay. You know, those really good 16 ounce ones. Yeah. We would get those. It was $2 for another French fries. Nice. $2 for a fucking quarter pound cheeseburger.

They had like shrimp cocktail for two bucks or Katrina shrimp. You know, uh, you don't care at that point. No, no, I don't care, but my loyalty always goes to them because of what they did for me with that happy hour. Many nights I ate like a champion because, and you don't put it together. Like people like, well, I rather go to McDonald's. They're offering a $2 menu. Dick ward.

I just told you, you get a quarter of fries and a huge fucking, uh, hamburger for four fucking bucks, two more for the soda. That's six. Give her a $4 tip. So next time you're going there, she'll throw you an order of fries for free. Right. Cause you grew a $2 trip. Most people who go to the $2 menu are dead beats.

They don't tip that they'll leave chains like pennies on a dime and shit. You know, when you give that, you know, the $2 menu, you give a four out of your last 10 and she's probably going, God damn, good for you. Come in and I'll throw your soda. And that's what happened. They would throw us coax all the time. You know, yeah, that's, and where you, would you get excited? Like, you knew you had a show.

Then I, like, oh, we'll go to McCormick and Schmick. I fucking, that's the first thing I, it's like, we used to go to Hollywood. What was, what was our thing on Saturday nights? We always went and got a piece of pizza with Eric. We did comedy, but then we did that comedy. Let's go get a slice of pizza and we giggle and then go home. It was a simple fucking night. We'd go and I did the drive the last time, but we'd only stop.

If there was a parking spot, I would get pissed when there was no parking spot. Cause like there wasn't always a parking spot there, but we, we, we'd stop. Oh, and that was just when you're going like that, like you were saying earlier about getting something to go home, like after a spot to go and grab that slice and we'd get to eat one there, bring one home. You have that one waiting. God, there's nothing like setting up the night with food. When you're a fat fuck, these are the things you do.

And listen, some people may go to McDonald's to get prepared. I'm not mad at you. Some people might go to Taco Bell. That's part of it. That's crazy that we had also had Taco Bell on my block in LA. And that fucking Taco Bell at night dog, it would wrap around the corner. Cars can give fucking driver Magnolia. Oh, it was open all night.

Yes, it was open all night. And that's the only thing it opened all night in LA. And that's what always, you know, when you go, how many, how these people eat this shit and you're like, people are still smoking cigarettes after all the warnings, you know, so people are going to do what the fuck they want. Last thing I want to talk to you about real quick, not big, just, I just want to see what your thoughts on it were. Okay.

No offense either. No, for anybody who watches it, please give us a fucking break. How do you feel being Jewish with all this shit going on the last fucking three weeks, two weeks? So I'll preface this by saying I avoid the new. So I know, I know what he said vaguely, but the problem is like, I'll hear are you, I've seen like the clips. And then I was talking to someone who's like really into that world.

And he was saying, well, he said it a different way. It's, it's definitely tough. It's tough, like the death con thing. I don't know what you mean by that, but that doesn't seem good. And then the, the part that's like scary is like, not even so much that he says it, but then I forget where it was. I think it was somewhere at like a sporting event, someone had a projector that was projecting like Kanye was right about the Jews.

Someone in L in like LA or somewhere had like a sign up on the overpass that the Kanye was right about the Jews. It's, uh, it's just people are so angry that like you don't know. What people are going to do. And it's, I get being frustrated and I get all that because I don't know what's going on in Kanye's life, but yeah, it's all the shit going around. It, it can get scary because you don't know what's going to set someone off. If like, if you say something, if you say, if you say, if someone

no finds out your Jewish and they go crazy, it's, uh, it's just a weird time. But I, I, to be honest, I, I avoid it and it is as much as like it's crazy what he said and it's crazy that like how quickly his entire world just came crashing down. Just like Adidas is gone. He's getting escorted out of Puma or wherever it was. You, and he, I saw on something that he's on an interview, he said, like, I didn't break any laws and he didn't, he didn't break any laws, but in this

day and age, you can't, you just can't say shit like that. We had a podcast. We did, I did a podcast with Mike last week and I spoke about that. I didn't know the impact that a person can have with that voice. Yeah. I never did, you know, and I've been warned before as a child, what, be careful what you say and shit, but I never looked at it like that. I thought Kanye's remarks, well, I got any other idiots remarks in life.

They're going to be dismissed. I not being a Jewish person, but liking having a lot of Jewish friends. Some I consider family, some I consider friends. I looked at it and I was like, you know, because the first thing you read is Jamie Lee Curtis, who isn't Jewish, broke into tears because her father was Jewish. Then again, people forget Halloween's around the corner and she's trying to sell tickets for a fucking movie again, October's her fucking month.

You know, so she's got to come up with something. So I, when I saw that right away, I go, here come the phonies. Right. Yeah, there's a lot of that. I saw that, you know, he was around for a week and the comments were out there. And then I saw that, uh, C.A. had let him go. When I called one of my agents and I go, you let my boy go, you know, like a joke. And he goes, Joey, we had to, yeah, they have no choice.

We had to not because, listen, at first he was off the meds, you know, there's a thousand excuses I could make for you. And, and, and time will blow over. People understand mental health as a, you know, uh, the kids from Comedy Central that's quitting the day, you know, I said the same thing. I said, I, and I didn't copy it from him. I saw he said a days later, I got no beef with mental health. Right.

It's not just, it's not just him. If you look at wide along the spectrum, you're going to see a lot of people that are slowly losing their mind little by little. Entertainers, Antonio Brown walked off a field through his shirt. I'm 59 years old. I've been watching football for years. Nobody's ever quit in the middle of a game, thrown his shirt up in the fucking air and done it.

I got a thousand fucking theories. Yeah. I'm not conspiracy theories, but I got a thousand legit theories that I've, you know, I watched a lot of 60 minutes. I watched a lot of, I read a lot of stuff. This, this, uh, that little break in life that we had, it affected people, gave us too much time to think for some people, for some people that didn't think enough for some people, they got all this time to think.

And once the world opened up, they went out there like a fucking race horse and they didn't deal with the shit that they had brought upon with the pandemic. There's a thousand excuses I can make, but the only excuse I can't make for Kanye or anybody else is now they're attacking the guy from the nets. Kyrie, I don't have no idea what he said. I did not see the, he supported something. He put up a tweet of a movie that made anti-Semitic remarks. Oh, Jesus.

You know, I saw the fucking sign on the, the stadium. Kanye was read about the Jews and that's what got me fucked up when I heard about the people having signs and that they passed out flyers in Bradley Hills. You know, those are old Jewish people. They don't fucking know. Right. You know, they don't know what's going on. So yes, they contacted C.A. or whatever.

I don't know the story and they got rid of them. But now what I was really blown away by, and I told Mike and everybody else last week was how the response he got that he got a negative response to the comments, but then he got, he dug up these old fucking Jew haters, you know, and fucking Nazis. Yeah. And that's when I saw the problem. And that's when I understood why people were mad at Joe.

I wasn't mad at Joe for what he was saying. Got nothing to do with me, but I understand the power of a voice. Now I understand why they're so, my Gentiles are so mad at Trump for setting the inside at the right on the six. Right. Maybe he made a remark, people took it the wrong way. Look at what he's told people to drink bleach. Mother fuckers drank bleach.

Yeah, that's, that's the problem. You and I, us three, the golden triangle between the three of us, there's no fucking vibrator cap is here. We didn't drink the fucking bleach, but he drank the bleach. So that goes to tell you where people's head is at. We're so lost as human beings. I don't know what Kanye did with it. Kanye is the king of attention.

Oh, yeah, those guys are the king of making algorithms and whatever the fuck they want to call, you know, I don't know if he did this as a joke to blow, he's not blowing anything up. Yeah, it's not like he's, it's not like two weeks from now. He's like, did you know what Kanye had now? I'm coming out and you're like, no wonder he made those remarks. He's like, ah, he's just trying to sell it out. Right.

But we're, we're talking about him and I don't know if you saw this. I, someone came across my Instagram. It was a interview with Elvis and someone was asking him about would he sign up for the war? Cause he was, he had previously served and he was like, Hey man, I'm, I'm an, I'm an artist. I don't really want to talk about that. I don't, I don't have an opinion.

And they said, Oh, do you have an opinion on other artists saying this? He's like, no, I don't have an opinion on that either. So it's, I'm not saying celebrities can't say their opinion, but people have always hated Jews from the beginning of time. People have hated Jews. That's never going to change. Unfortunately, people are going to hate everybody. But if you're going to, if you're going to have those thoughts, just keep it to

yourself. Like it's like, I think that's the scariest part. Is it just when someone like that says it, people around the world feel like they can say it too. And it just, it leads to bad shit. You know, when we started, when we're doing the church, I was on the road a lot. And I'd make fucking crazy remarks on the road, on the podcast about African Americans, I'd make Hindus, I'd make jokes about fucking Puerto Ricans.

And I'd make joke about all these other ethnic groups. And then I go do a show in that town and who would I want to take a picture of me, a guy from that ethnic group or an African American kid. I went to New Orleans and I thought they were going to kill me because to add insult to injury, I was bombing. And I did that stupid joke about when I got fired for fucking calling the guy a moon cricket and all that shit. And I was like, I'm not going to get killed at the end of this show.

And at the end of the show, the people were talking to me the most with African Americans and African American chicks. And whenever I go into a town, like when I would say the hummus jokes and all that shit, Arabs will come to my show and bring me hummus and we laugh about it. So my words, even though I was saying shit to the untrained eye, they'd look and go, that guy's making racist remarks. The people that I was making the racist remarks about, and not in a bad way, was a joke like, you know, you smell like 10 dead Puerto Ricans.

Even Puerto Ricans laugh at that. They would come to the show and go, we heard that joke. And I would go, holy fuck, I didn't get beat up. I didn't get punched in the face by that big Arab. I didn't get punched in the face by the Indian family. They liked the joke. They even come and mention it to me. Well, you were just saying it.

You were just said, we don't know what Kanye's intention was. And the people who would come to your shows know that you don't hate them. They know your intent was I'm not anything, but I think you would say most anything if you thought it would make people laugh. If you thought if it didn't, if it wasn't like horrible and you thought it would make like an audience laugh, you'd probably say it. The thing is, is where none of these people know who Kanye is. None of these people who knew Kyrie Irving is or what he really thinks.

And they hear it and they're just they're just taking it for what he actually said. You would say shit that, yeah, like my favorite thing was going to TSA or to eat with you late at night and there'd be a woman there. And you would say stuff that would send people to to jail. No, no, not that. But you would like hit on them like very openly and but like not. But they could even tell like you weren't actually hitting on them, but you were complimenting them.

But just in ways that my favorite one was at TSA because you would have me go with you to like the first class line. And I was always fucking nervous. But there would be these African American women working at LAX at four in the morning. They were, but they were already happy to be there. They were already full of energy and you'd walk, you all walked up to one. And I think it's a line you've used before, but you would say, I'm going to tear the Beyonce poster off the wall and they would fucking lose it.

They would love, oh my God, I would, if I thought of saying that to anyone, I thought I'd get smacked and you'd walk up and you would like be like tremendous. You just walk away. You wouldn't even wait for them to respond. Oh my God. Just talking about that big sister at the bottom of American. She was a hot sister, guys. She had to be about 50.

She probably five, 11, 280 with blonde streaks in the head, just a sister looking fucking beautiful in the morning. And other people are looking and go, she's just a big woman. I'm telling you, this chick was beautiful and we became friends. And every time I wouldn't have to show my car, I just go, look at you. Sexy motherfucker. And she go, oh my God, I spoke right faster, but I would do that to her. I didn't care because I'm not hitting on you.

I'm just letting you know who doesn't want to know at four in the morning that there was sexy motherfucker when you tell a woman at four in the morning, when you bump into a 430 in the morning, she's feeling like she's not even thinking about looking good. She's just thinking about getting to the job and having a kid's fucking lunch packed and she's there waiting online and people like, hi, do you know how my fights delayed? Hi, do you know why I get my luggage?

Then also I come up to you looking smoother than a motherfucker today. Aren't you? And that's exactly what I'll say. You're looking smoother than a motherfucker today. And while they're signing my thing and looking at my ID, like, hmm, and the sisters are the best because you can get away with that. You're looking good today. If I had an extra 20 minutes, I'd take you on a date.

Go, they go off the boat. They go off. The best was the time we were at the steakhouse. And there was a lady who had to be fucking 70. Walk past us, dolled up. She looked like a fucking antique, but in her mind, she looked good. In her mind, she was out dressed to impress and she came by the table and I'm like, you looking fucking remember I said something to her.

Oh, yeah, I'm going to pull the wiggle off or something. Yep. And she fucking came back and gave me a number. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We were sitting right by the bathroom, right? Right by the bathroom. Oh, God, you should call me once in a while.

She was like 75. This is five years ago, four years ago over the holidays. Yeah, yeah, that was crazy. Don't just trying to make that day. That's it. You should say when that me too, then came out three years ago, I was depressed and I go, you know what, I'm not going to stop being me over. There's no way there's no way I got these moms on my block.

The lady who shot me in the face five times last week with the needle, she walked past my house every day. Oh, I got on a paint her and the agent lady, Jen up the corner. Right. My mom's on this block. Okay. I tell them more. I got the hardest, all of them.

I tell them all you guys, I got the hottest moms on my fucking block. That's right. They're like, Joe, you're so silly. I don't know how you do it. And there's the leader up there. So I call her at the house direct and I go, I just seen Dr. Aliona and I seen Jen. I got the hottest moms on the block and she'll call them and go, Joey,

just said that about it. And they'll go, Oh my God, he said it to me too. He's so sweet. I didn't even do my hair this morning. You know, shit like that. They walk around here. Yeah. All the robin from up the corner, they all walk here and I tell Robin every day,

Robin and she'll look up looking good and she'll just walk away, shaking her head like this motherfucker. He knows my husband. He knows I'm goofing up. I love all that shit. Yeah. And they love it. And you may, and that's what, like you said me too.

Like, you never, you don't touch them. You don't make them uncomfortable. Oh, like you literally say it and walk away sometimes. And like they, they'll just, they just, it makes them, it's, I don't know if it's a compliment or what it is. It's a fucking compliment. It's letting somebody know they looked it. Listen, man, there's nothing a woman wants more for a man to say that you

look very nice today. I like your shoes. I like, yeah, if you do that with your mom, you're a fucking winner. You know, if you do that with your girlfriend or your wife, because they don't expect it anymore, right? Your wife doesn't expect you to go, I like that blouse. So if you say it once in a while, I like that blouse. I like, yeah, it makes that day.

And that's what we're in the business of doing. Absolutely. Just making somebody's day with a simple hello. Anything what's going on, your fat fuck, anything that nobody else says to them. I think I went for a milkshake the other day. No. And he put THC in it. Oh, you did.

Okay. Yes. He used the THC, he said, that's some THC. You want me to put it in? I go put it all in that. Well, you're like, you got an ice cream in that comes by the house. That's, oh yeah. That's heaven.

Mr. Softy till Friday. Tomorrow's his, this Friday is his last day. I'll be here until the wind comes about three fucking thirty. My daughter will walk in at three and go, Mr. Softy's coming to that. How do you know he told me last week he's coming. Yesterday, I'm like, I don't think he's coming because it was cloudy. I don't think he's coming.

Fuck it. Oh, yeah, he's coming to cloud and showed up. I'm like, mercy. She was already outside. Yeah, I love it. She was already outside. It just, uh, it was just disturbing and I wanted to see, I'm not Jewish. I don't really hang out with a lot of Jewish people here.

You're basically my only Jewish friend. We talk on the phone, but I wanted to check with you to see if you had spoken. I don't know if you go to the temple still. I don't, my, my, my family's upset. There are a lot of people who are very upset and I get it, especially like my parents generation, cause like their parents were like in the Holocaust and, or like their grandparents, maybe. Um, and I, I understand being upset.

I'm, I apologize just because I, living with my parents the past couple of years, it just show has shown me like how much, cause they, they always watch the news. So I've, I've just made a concerted effort to pick. I just can't, I watch a little bit of the local news. I read what I'm interested in, but I see the Kanye stuff and I don't even watch it. I don't want to see someone. I think now they're just making stuff up. Cause he won't shut the fuck up every day.

I, I just stopped. I just, I'm really, uh, it's so funny the last six months or so. I really been trying to tape them down my time. Every Sunday I get like a little message that says this week you spent, you know, how many hours I can't even look at them. I'm trying to get, no, I got it down under seven. I was a week. Yeah.

I got sick and tired of being on there for 10 hours. You know, I can't imagine when I was on there when we lived in LA and I finally, a couple months ago I was like, I kept seeing that thing coming up screen time. I'm like, you know what, this isn't healthy cause eight hours, you're losing a day on the computer. Yeah. That's a work that you're doing on the computer. And what are you doing?

Looking at people on Twitter, you know, and there's times, listen, the other side of that is this times I put YouTube on just when I'm doing shit. Right. And Facebook and Twitter will be open and people think I'm on them. I'm not on there at all. It's so funny. I'll go on Facebook and I get no messages. And once I leave the thing open with YouTube playing, I come back and I got eight

messages. I guess it tells you when somebody's, yeah, yeah, I don't, I don't even know where the fuck to start that. So it's kind of weird when that happens, but no, I just wanted to see where it was at, like I said, people going to say shit all the time. But I think right now we're just in a mental health type of fucking play. I, I'm seeing it. I felt it for a little while.

I felt my actions. And then I got a little fucking, you know, I started journaling again just to get my feedback under me. Listen, I'm still crazy, but I'm not saying you jokes on fucking CNN. You know what I'm saying? I'm not right. I'm not the, you know, saying shit about Jews or any other group on CNN, but it's not just, I noticed it with Urza Miller was crazy for a while.

That he must've, yeah, he must've drank some fucking tranny juice on a full moon. You know, uh, fucking, is he good now? Yeah. Cause they had to sit him down and talk to him and go, enough is enough. You can't drink tranny juice on a, on a full moon. You know, that's what happened. You can't, you could drink the tranny juice now on a full moon. Oh Jesus.

Getting fucked up. Yeah. No, no, no, it's, it's out there and it's, and we're seeing, look at, bro. So this day, nobody has mentioned Antonio Brown is stealing watches and throwing t-shirts. And I mean, with him, it could be the CTE, but he was around Donda for a while too. He was hanging around with that fucking dude too. I love that he's posting pictures of Gisele though.

I think that's hysterical. I mean, he's losing his mind. Yeah. He's losing his mind. And listen, there's a lot of people in the, you know, I think Kyrie Irving's been retarded for years. You know, I really do think he's retarded for fucking years. This just put, I don't even, you know, I love him as a basketball player.

Yeah. If you bet him to score 28 points a night, he'll cover. He's a, he always covers with a bet, but that motherfucker dog. Listen, man, it's just a different world. And this is the only place where we find a little bit of fucking peace doing a podcast once in a while. I hope I don't come on here and say fucking crazy shit about different ethnic groups, but even if you do, everyone knows what it means.

And it's any, you can tell when people say it with, with hate in their heart. Oh, always, always. And I don't have guys. It's the only thing you hate is branch. That's all ranch, ranch dressing and motherfuckers who ask too many questions. The world's in a rough fucking place right now. But you know what? We'll head into the city tonight.

Coxuckers, I love you. Thank you for watching the joint today. I want to thank Lee and Mike for being here and I'll see you. Coxuckers next Monday. Tip top. Magoo. I don't know about the rest of the week because I'm shooting a movie. So congratulations now for a word.

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