Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #219 - Joey Diaz, Eddie Bravo, Scott Ross and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: October 7, 2014

Eddie Bravo of 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu calls in and Scott Ross joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Hulu Plus. Visit Huluplus.com/joey for an extended free trial. Dollar Shave Club. Use promo code CHURCH and get high quality razors sent to your door. HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for a 20% discount Music:  Staring Thru My Rearview - Tupac I Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet I Shot The Sheriff -Eric Clapton Recorded on 10/06/2014 Recorded on 09/29/2014

This is gonna be crazy. Okay. Hi guys, this show is sponsored by Hulu Plus. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of shows anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone, and tablet. I do it at the gym on my iPad. It's awesome. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial of Hulu Plus. That's two weeks free on Hulu Plus when you go to HuluPlus.com. What's so funny? When you go to HuluPlus.com slash Joey, that's HuluPlus.com slash Joey. This show is also sponsored by dollarshaveclub.com. Get a high-quality razor, send to your door. I'm high. Send to your door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. Now

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different flavors of the e-cigarettes. Use code word joe's church. That's joe's church and you get 20% off of your order. What are you gonna do? It's fucking Monday, cocksucker. Start up that music. Tell the band to spark that motherfucker. Welcome to the church of what's happening now. October 6th, the day the devil was raped at sea. Play that motherfucker. A little pop for you. Kick it, Lee. Wigglefunk with Joey. What? Oh shit. That's my only move, man. Crank that, crank it, Lee. What? It's Monday night, motherfucker. You got a dream that starts today. Fuck it. You want to fuck on the ass? You got to start working it today. You want to get a job today, cocksuckers. Fuck ISIS and that little cocksucker

from Chicago. Little fucking traitor. Comes over here, eats cheeseburgers and he wants to go shoot people. I think he's born here. Fuck him. Fuck him. Light him on fire. What? What? To the end, my friends. See? It's too popular. Do you care? Do you know? Give any Hollywood insights. Welcome to the church of what's happening now. Monday, October 6th. Thank you for fucking watching any shit dick on TV. Anyway, you're gonna get more entertainment here tonight. My co-host, the flying Jew, Lee Syat. Hello. The son of Yom Kapoor. Look at him. All lost. He's down 56.5 pounds. Yeah. Smooth like a motherfucker. How did he know that? Who the fuck you think you're dealing with? And to the left of me, my main man, Mr. Scott Ross, my little brother from

many years back, now doing many big things. Always a pleasure to have you on this show. What the fuck are you talking about, cocksuck? How do I know? I know everything. I know everything. How was your weekend? It was perfect. You played passion by the park. You had mama here every day. Breakfasts. It was kind of crazy because she drinks coffee and I don't. So I didn't have a coffee maker, but I just bought one because we were going to get bagels and I was paying this dude like four bucks to toast a bagel for me. Someone was stupid. But it was great. We went and saw our buddy Steve Simone at the improv on Friday. He did great. On Saturday, we watched the Dodgers game. On Sunday, we watched the Patriots kick ass finally and that's all you can do,

my brother. Did you sniff a muffler this weekend? Did you try it? Did you take a whiff? No, I didn't sniff a muffler. What was I talking about? You got to make efforts every week. Some we should do two push-ups. Some we should do three push-ups. Some we should sniff a muffler. No, you're eating that monkey from behind. Give it a little whiff just to see what it's like in Mr. Rogers' neighborhood. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to live in that neighborhood. What the fuck? That's no bad neighbor. It's a good neighbor. It's the monkey that's areas that you listen to. No, the monkey is a good part. That's like Baldwin Hills. If you were Betty Page, Betty Page would lick in between the muffler and her monkey, put her tongue right in that bull's eye. Well, Betty

Page is playing with the casino's money at this point. She's like two. The casino's money. What the fuck are you talking about? She's like two. She's a sexual savage. I know, but she's like a hard breeze away from dying. Aren't you a sexual? Who are you talking about? I'm talking about the girl who called the lines. I think Betty White. This is what I'm fucking talking about. Those brownies. Forget about it. Anyway, this fucking Momo. I know Betty Page. I think Betty White. She licks between you. I don't say fucking Betty White. Nobody said Betty White. Nobody said Betty White. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to the fuck. This is what I'm talking about. What's going on? You got one fucking shot at this guy. I'm entertained. What's happening? Beautiful. Life's pretty good right

now. Congratulations, by the way. 56 points. He's a bad mother. Well, I don't know. Have you always been skinny? I've been skinny, but I used to be one of those people who mistook not being fat for being in shape. Well, I'm nowhere near in shape, but I've told Joey like I've lost and gained weight probably three or four times. So I've been here before, but I'm getting close to my muller, so I'm excited. It's the best because he's working it off. Last time he was on tomato, she would just die. I was juicing last time. The time before that, the toothpaste, the salt water, yeah, that shit, no, that shit. Atkins dying. Just makes you pay. Yeah. Once you're on that fucking wheel, you know what 500 calories feels like. It makes you pay a little bit. I'm very proud of you.

And it's getting harder because I put my weight into the elliptical and it tells you how much Academy colors you burn. And when the weight's going down, it's taking a lot longer to burn it now. So it sucks. Are you plateau? Just switch up your I've been on plateaus for like two weeks. It's yeah, switch up your program a little. I have to. I'd like just a little bit. But how you doing, Joey? You looking slim? You know, me dog, trying to put the pieces together always. I just went before because Scott called. I thought he wasn't ready to get picked up yet. So let me go to the gas station real quick. I'm better fucking gas station. Go on. I'm filling the tank. I'm right away. Some chick comes up. Now this girl looks fucking familiar to me. Right off the bat.

Like, I know her from somewhere. And I see her. She comes up to me. She's on a cell phone and she's panicking. And I'm just I'm not even looking. I don't give a fuck if she had hot pants on or whatever. Sure enough, she's woozy on over. And she's trying to tell me how she's got to get back, you know, 60 miles from here. And she's got a truck and she needs 50 bucks to get home. And she's usually 55 to fill it up. And her kids got stuck on a daycare and she needs the money now. Guys, between you and me, I wouldn't give this dirty bitch a dime. I don't give a fuck. I'm listening to this story and I'm nodding that. I'm like, okay, sure. Yeah, no shit. And I'm like, wow. And I'm like, wow, you know what, man, sit around a few minutes. Maybe I could work something out for you.

And I'm just waiting like this fucking moron. And sure enough, I look over and the trucks got some fucking dunce in there. First off, I in all the things I did that were bad growing up, I never did nothing with abroad. Don't take a genius not to do dick with abroad. Dick, you do a crime with abroad, you're a fucking piece of shit. Oh, really? Especially when you're making her go out there. It's like that day at the bank. Yeah, when the girl came up to me, do you have $5? You know what? Have you considered sucking a dick? You're young. And he's pimping. Yeah, he's standing there like a When a man turns his back to you and makes a lady ask you for money, that guy is as worthless as they fucking come. Right? Well, I never I never understand that whole thing where it's like, oh, I

got stranded here. Like when you go somewhere, do you not make sure you have enough money to get back? Well, whatever the fuck, they didn't get stranded. That's why I know they didn't. But I feel like all of it's always a lie. It's always a fucking lie. You know, we got stranded here. I used to go when I started comedy, I used to drive from Seattle to come on the contest with enough gas and no money. I went there to win or take second place, but not even that. I had to get 100 because in the 30 for the tank is 64 gram of blowdog. So I had to win first place when I used to go over here. Remember when we didn't used to live down in Huntington Beach, Redondo Beach with Sam? No, no, we basically lived downtown Hollywood. Okay. And then where I live now, like right off, right by the improv.

When I first met Sam, Tripoli used to hang out with Pablo Francisco. Yeah. They knew each other from Redondo Beach. When I first moved here in 97 on Thursday nights, there was the Lighthouse Comedy Club contest. First place was 100 second prizes, 50 and third prize was a pizza. I think I was three, you know, every time I went down, I had no, like I would sit down a Thursday and go, where am I going to get blow from camp brown money from the home already? I already sold three fucking cell phones I stole from the comedy store. You know, I had, I was all out of options. Fuck it. I would borrow five bucks and go down there and make sure I fucking won or at least got second place. But in the back of my mind, I got so fired up and so scared of having to

ask somebody for gas money, I would just win the contest. I did that in Tacoma, and I used to do that in fucking here. And I did it like three times here, one like three times in Tacoma. Do you think that hurts your comedy now that you don't need the gig, the money? This is 30 years ago. No, no, no, no. I know I'm saying now, like when you, like you said you needed the money for Coke, right? So you would make sure you won. Did it hurt it at all when now you don't need that 50 bucks? I don't get the question. Like now that you don't need it, were you working harder back then? Or do you think so or no? I always work hard. It's about the motivation. Do you still

have that motivation? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's, it's, it's, hunger is a fucked up motivator. Yeah. There's a dip between being hungry and having respect for yourself and always working. There's people that do comedy and then hit and then stop writing jokes and stop working. My game is just starting right now. You know, it's two different types of motivator. Now, when I wake up in the morning, there's a 20 month motivator, you know, for a while God knows what it was, then it was the blow, you know, for me to get the blow. Right. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. But it was no, I've always worked hard. Oh, and I'm not saying you're not funny now, but I didn't know if there, I didn't know if there was a, I didn't know if there was like

a point when you started not needing the money, like when you start to sell yourself 50 bucks. I'm a fucking Cuban Jew. I always need to cash in like the three cent residual checks. I got a six cents residual check. That motherfucker got deposited this mortarship. They're figuring that and they got deposited with a $15 check, $18 child support rejection check. Colorado still takes money out of checks and then sends me the money back, even though I haven't paid child support in fucking seven fucking years. That's how fucked up our system is. So once a month, I got a stack of checks for 390, 485 from money they take from me from various checks. And they mail it back to me. At least they mail it back. Yeah. At least they mail it back,

but they deposited and make money on my fucking four dollars. Fuck them. You know what I'm saying? Back to the fucking whore that was trying to fucking scam me here. Oh yeah, I'm sorry. I just don't understand it. I just never understood how they could do that. And I told her, I would give her the money. I'm like, I'll give you the money, but you gotta come home with me and shit. And she fucking turned pat. So he was like, well, what do you mean? You did not say that to her. Bro, you got to work. There was no way. And I was not going to bring the check home. I know, you're right there. I was still not bringing it home. I just wanted to see the expression on her face. Me too. I looked at it. I go, you need 50 bucks, right? She goes, yeah, I go 200. Let me

fucking put it in that ass. And her face just turned fucking purple. And that's it. She'll never ask me for fucking dough again. Ever. She sees me. I cracked it. At first off, if she really wanted the money, she let me stick in that ass. A deuce right in the back by the gas station right there in that fucking hellhole right up there on Oxnard, like a real hoe. If you're going to be a hoe, be a fucking hoe. That's a sad 200 dollars. No, I wasn't going to give a dick. Well, I know you wouldn't, but I was just do listen to 15 years ago. I was in New York on a train station and some girl came up. There was a phone with Josh Wolff and asked me if I could give a five dollars to fucking something or lighter. And I looked at it and she was beautiful, Scott,

but she had a black fucking eye that was purple and not cannot happen to anybody. That doesn't happen to anybody. This is on a train on 125th Street. There was a payphone on the platform and I was calling Josh Wolff before a train got there. And next, you know, his chick taps me on the show. And you know, like when somebody taps you, like, hold on one second. I didn't really look at her. Then I looked at her and I go, I got to call you back. I just got tapped on a show that by a girl with a black eye asking me for five dollars and a lighter. And I hung up the phone and I wasn't going to give it either. But I wanted to fuck with, that's what comedians do. So I asked her, so what do you need the five dollars for? I need to eat. I go, why do you have

a black eye? My boyfriend hit me. Do you smoke crack? And then she started, then I fucked the world up. She thought that I thought that she didn't even know what crack was. Then I started fucking with her with the crack. Come on, tell me the truth. Do you smoke crack? Will you smoke a lot of a pipe? Will you smoke it? I don't know what you're talking about. Are you going to give me the money or what? I'll give you 20 dollars. Answer my fucking question. Do you smoke fucking crack or not? And she would just, and finally she goes, yes, I smoke crack. My boyfriend beat me two weeks ago. Are you going to give me five dollars? Yeah, what the fuck? I gave her five dollars. She went and it's hysterical. She didn't leave the subway this way. She went into the tunnel.

I'll never forget that. Just disappeared into the tunnel. Disappeared through that fucking tunnel on 125th street. Like she was going into the valley of fucking darkness. They have people living under there. I guess. Have you seen that documentary? Yeah, I saw that documentary. That was awesome. In the New York. Yeah. Yeah. It's on Netflix. It's like black and white. It's like they have houses. They have running water. They really get electricity. It's amazing. It's amazing. They have a whole fucking tunnel in there. It's an abandoned part of the subway. I think is what it was. Right, yeah. And so they, they, it just got shut down. So a bunch of bombs, you know, the built cardboard houses, you know, like the built structures, like they have rooms and roommates. Some of them have

pet dogs, you know, it was, it was amazing. And some of them are fine where they're at. Some are clearly batshit crazy. Some of them just seem like they got lost somehow. And I was thinking about that. I saw homeless guy with my girlfriend and I was like, what do you think like the first night of homelessness is like? That has to be the worst night ever. I've seen a guy like on Sunset. I used to work at the Starbucks right next to the comedy store. Like day one in LA. I got that job. The one by where the country western bar is now. Yeah. They ride the horse. Okay. Yeah. So did, what's the name, right? Kristy Miller. Oh, she, I didn't know she used to work there. Kristy Miller used to work there. I'd go in there. She'd give me free lattes and shit. Yeah, I was always

hooking comics up. Always. Of course I was. You know, it's part of the getting to know everybody. You're like perk of the job. I get to give all the comics coffee. It got me stage time. Yeah, it did. It did. You know, it's amazing in my 24 years of comedy, 23 years of comedy. It wasn't that I was homeless, but I didn't, I wasn't the best of conditions. I remember like one time being in New York City on a Sunday night and having to be in Ienas and Dallas on a Tuesday and having $150. And my plan was I was going to eat with a friend and then stay on his balcony. My friend lived on the 34th floor. He still does. He was on the 34th floor of that room. Whenever you see a picture of New Jersey from the New York side,

there's a circular building. They did so much blowing in the 80s. They called it the grinder. The one where like the aliens land across the street. Yes. I showed you. I showed you the ground round, whatever the fuck it's called. And I used to sleep on his balcony. And my plan was to sleep on the balcony Sunday, Monday and go into the city and do comedy. And Tuesday, uh, Kennedy Airport had a flight for like 62 hours to Dallas or something. This is 15 years ago. This is 1999, you know, around there, way before Terry. And I said, you know, why I couldn't get a hold of them? And I called my other friend. I couldn't get a hold of him. My other guy was busy and I was like, you know, I'm just going to take the bus to Dallas. It's

36 hours. And I remember taking the bus and they stopped for a six hour break at a town and they go come back in six hours. We'll leave without you. I remember rolling a joint. It was like two in the morning. So I wasn't going nowhere till eight. So I just walked the streets and at one point just sat down and just sat there and looked into the night. And that's a fucked up feeling. It has to be. It's, uh, it's scary. At the same time, it's just, uh, I don't know, it made me feel bad about myself. But at the same time, maybe feel good about myself because no matter how tired you are, you're going to keep walking. So I would just walk and walk and walk. In those days, I wasn't falling asleep in train stations. You know, I would stay up all fucking

night and then your body becomes something else. You become something else at night. You're like a cat. A cat at night becomes something else. He becomes a hunter. A lot of people don't know that. Like when I go home at night and I wake up in the middle of the night and I go into my living room, those cats are up. Yeah, they sleep most of the day, right? They sleep most of the day. So when I wake up in the middle of the night, you go into the living room and they surround you for love. Like you're petting them and you could feel this certain, they're not regular cats. They have a, they, and that's what you turn into at night. You know, you, you stay up late nights. You know what you turn into? Yeah, I work late nights. Yeah, you work late nights, you know.

So just, and I was homeless a few times. I remember doing blow in this rocket ship. What? There was a 88th street park when I was growing up and Oh, the park all those nights. I wouldn't like, I would like, let's say Scott was my good friend. I go, Scott, man, I'm not staying alone. And Scott would go, Joe, you can sleep on my couch. But you got to come over by two o'clock. I go to bed after that. There's nights. I look at the clock and go, fuck it. I'm not gonna go to Scott. I'm too coked up and too drunk. I don't want Scott to see me this way. I would just go to the rocket ship and go on to the rocket ship and put my little hood it's sweatshirt on and snort blow under there and pass out on the fucking grass and hope

that a rat wouldn't fucking bite me or something. I can't even imagine, dude. The closest I came is I had, I had to live in a guy's closet for two weeks. Like I didn't have enough money to pay for like my weekly that I was staying in. Like right when I moved down to LA, because like, even though I got a job my first day down here, I didn't get a paycheck for a couple weeks, right? And I only came down with a thousand dollars, like an idiot. And I didn't realize how grossly expensive everything was going to be. Where did you move from? I moved here from Vegas. And what did you want to be when you moved here? Stand up. When you came out here, you came out to do a stand-up cover. Yeah. Yeah. We didn't know anything. Like we had a,

like the scene in Vegas, right? It was very small and we didn't really have any, well, we didn't have any professionals around. And this is how you met Sam. Yeah. Okay. So you know Sam from Vegas. From Vegas. Yeah. You guys came out together as Goombas. Yeah. Like I came out, what happened is, and really Sam, Sam Tripoli started the, the open mic scene in Las Vegas. Like there had been previous open mic scenes, but they had completely died out. There was nothing around. And he started an open mic right next, well, in a bar that was right next to where I lived. And so he came down to the coffee shop I always hung out at and it was right across from the college, UNLV, and did a little comedy set. And he brought this other guy, I can't remember,

Rich. His name was Rich. And he was kind of a crappy hack comic. And when that guy did his set, and he got some laughs, it's like, oh, shit, I can do better than that. And so I went and did my first open mic and my first line was something stupid, but it got a laugh. That's all I needed, you know, to get hooked. It was like heroin or what I imagined heroin would be like, you know, you just like, what a rush. That was amazing. How was the open mic scene then? What year was this? Oh, God, it's probably 96. And how was the open mic scene in Vegas at the time? Vegas was going through a change. Yeah, yeah, we would have an audience occasionally, which means a singular person that we would be performing for. We were, we were performing in a venue where we had to

compete with video poker machines. You know, so that that was kind of tough. And in 96, how many open mics were there? At first, there was just the one. And then there were like two. And none of those hotels were doing open mics or show? Nothing. Nothing. If not, you would think in like the entertainment capital, like there'd be a lot of that stuff. But I mean, I guess maybe there's just so many good, like higher level performers that don't need it or? Well, no, because it's, it's for the tourists and the tourists don't want to see develop and talent, you know, and now they do one of the biggest open mics of the country is at the South Point. Really? Hotel in Vegas on Friday nights at 1230. Oh, that dirty 1230 thing. People

come from all over. So you're doing a show in Vegas on a Friday night. Let's say Norton's at the Riviera. I'm just saying I'm not exaggerating. Let's say Norton's at the Riviera, Rogan's at the House of Blues and Lee's at the Venetian. The unwritten rule is to shoot over there at 1230 and do a spot and everybody has a drink and they hang on. It's not bad. It's not bad. So just to think that it's amazing that you had to create your own things. Yeah, no, and create your own fucking gigs, you know. And really it was Sam who led the charge on that. Like he got a casino gig for us. He was doing an open mic, but actually it wasn't an open mic. It was our professional shit. And so what do you do? You just go to a bar, say like, I know you guys don't

have anything here that night. I'll get 20 people here and they'll buy drinks. Well, we wouldn't lie like that because we couldn't draw 20 people. You would find a venue and it'd work out for like three or four months and then it'd start to peter out. We had a coffee shop that worked out really well. It was basically your form for mostly the comics every time, which kind of warps your sensibilities because comics are special people. You got to go darker and so if you're always performing in front of other comics, you might go a little darker than usual. Yeah. I loved groans when I was telling jokes. I loved getting a good groan. I would go there. I would go beyond there. Well, did you see Gerard Carmichael special on HBO? No, it was pretty good. It was

Spike Lee did it. He's not like he's pretty funny. I've seen him, but like the special wasn't like he wasn't trying to like make like a huge laughs every joke. Like a lot of it was like kind of like, I don't know about controversial, but it wasn't necessarily a joke joke. Like he was trying to make you laugh and it was one of the better specials I'd seen in a long time. Back to the fucking open, Mike Cuxuck with Gerard Carmichael. I don't know. You get me? It's really crazy what comics don't. Comics will fail if they don't have a place to perform. You know, I mean, you can't perform. You can't be a comedian. And it's so weird that sometimes you have to get together with other comics and form your own venues. And a lot of comics don't have

the aptitude to do that. You know, when I lived in Denver, I started in Denver and Denver had the comedy works, which gave you three minutes. And then you had all these other cowboy bars. You went up after line dancing and you went up, you know, not ideal times. It's not like in your head, you're trying to start this glamorous fucking career, right? You're hearing about drugs and bitches. And then all of a sudden you're like, yeah, we have a show. It's 9.30 on Sundays. The line dancing ends about 9.15. You guys start at 9.30. You're like, what the fuck, you know? So I remember even myself, like there was this Chinese guy. His name is Ron. When I got divorced, I used to call Ron. He'd deliver and he'd put on the tat for me. I had two different Chinese places.

Ron made great stuff and the other place made great stuff, but different. Like, it's like going to a Chinese restaurant in LA. They might have good soup, but the pork fried rice must suck, might suck or the egg roll might suck. So in Boulder, they had this guy, Ron, and he had a beautiful patio. And I went to him and then I go, Ron, the patio just fucking sits here every night. If you charge five bucks and I come here with 10 buddies and do this, then we started getting six people, then eight people, then 10 people paid before people getting for free. And before you know it after a few months, you got 60 people in there. But something always happens. A comic gets drunk or throws a glass or says something politically uncoron-funny

and there goes the fucking neighborhood. But that whole art, that whole open mic scene, is something that I could live to be a hundred. I still remember all my open mics. It was amazing. It really is. And when you bomb, it is so horrible. No, it's not. It is horrible. You feel devastated because you didn't get that. You didn't get that high. You didn't channel it. It went wrong and you want to get kissed by the sun again. I got a email from a kid that's been emailing me for a while. I can't remember his name out of Dallas, sweetheart of a kid. Pretty funny, too, when he emailed me that Joey, I'm finally doing it. I'm getting on stage. I'm going out there like fucking and he started laying all these things on me like Zeppelin 76.

And I emailed him back. So how did it go? Because he emailed me like on a cusp. I answer all the emails on Sunday and he came up and he's like, well, it wasn't what it was. You know, because in the back of your mind, you think you're going to go out there. Like when you're writing your first jokes, you're like, oh fuck, Dice Clay, Joe Rogan, it's over for those motherfuckers. Seriously, you get so overwhelmed that your jokes like, because in the back of your mind, you're like, I got this. You really, and especially if you come out of the gate strong, like if you open mic, the first one, you come on, you get some laughs and the second one, it's over. You're already putting your mind. How long did you do comedy for Scott? 18 years.

You're like, it took him 18 years. It took me three fucking times on stage. That's how you think Lee. And all of a sudden you go on stage and then you get your head handed to you. And it's, I guess you're right. I guess the first two years, you want to go home and cry. But then between the drugs and alcohol, eating some fucking girl's pussy is sucking somebody's tip because those open mics attract a different type of crowd. And you get more personal with them. People talk to you a little more. You end up going home with weird people. Best parties I ever had with my open mic days. And I really had two sets of open mic because I was an open mic in Denver, and I was an open mic in Seattle with Brody and Josh Wolfe and Mark Madison. And we had enough

venues, so Josh in those days would start little venues. But just to camaraderie. Oh yeah, we were always together. We had a whole crew. That's it. It's it. And it's something, it's like if you watch behind the music and they talk about like Guns N' Roses and it's, your comedy career is, your open mic career and your music career, it's all crazy to your first album. With music, it's all crazy to the first album, maybe the first one. Then you know it's business. And with comedy, it's all busy. It's all craziness to one guy gets like an MC gig. Then another guy gets an MC gig. But here's what happens. You and Lee are best friends. You're at the comedy store and you're at the laugh factory. Mitzi sure hates him. And the guy who

owns the laugh factory, Jamie Masada, hates you, but you guys are best friends. So shit like that starts happening. And that's how friendships dripped apart or they stayed together or it's very weird. So what works for you now might not work for them. Like when those guys, Belushi and all those guys had CTV up in Canada, what was the name of that channel they had? SCTV. And they all got hired by San Nat Live except Harold Ramis. You know, it's a weird feeling. Sounds like high school, middle school. It is. It really is. The open mic is the funnest. I don't know. It's like, yeah, it's like high school for comedy. Because now you're hanging around with six people who giggle all the time. You're fucking broke. I broke you. Oh my god, you're fucking just broke. And

there's always one guy who's got a day job, or lives with his mother, and we all mooch off him, or he's got a car. It's, it's, you know, you wish you could do it again. You wish you could do it again and stay in that virginity zone, where it's just about getting there. Because when you're in open migration, it's just about getting there. Once you get the purity of the art and the purity of the art and it's just these people like, you know, in Seattle, we went out from Monday to Thursday. Because Fridays is when the professionals get paid. So on from Monday to Thursday, we were out every fucking night. Some nights till 10, some nights till five in the morning. Just depends how much money you got. Maybe you did a gig on Thursday. Oh yeah. Now, well, we didn't have

very many paying gigs in Vegas. It was always just like, Hey, if we got free drinks, if we got a dinner out of it, that was just humongous for us. You know, that was the best if we could get drinks. One time, one of our, our crew Vinny got it at a really happening bar. And it was, you know, it was like a nightclub and called a Vinny's comedy party. And we were like, how the fuck Vinny get that? You know, but he landed it like, Oh, no, it's going to go straight to his head. And of course, it did. But it was wonderful, though, to be able to perform in front of that many people and we got like a couple free drinks. He lives in LA. Vinny, Vinny got kind of weird, you know, like when he got down here. And he kind of like distanced himself.

Is he still doing comedy? No, I mean, the last time I saw him, of course, it was he was doing comedy, but I've heard that nobody's seen seen him in a long time. He started working as a bouncer, but not like really a bouncer, he's on security more like the door guy. And, and he dropped out. But he, he wasn't doing, he wasn't doing really well. And with the comedy, and I think, I think he couldn't, you know, LA is a rough town. And now, do you still do comedy? No, when was the last time you did stand up? Sam, actually the whole crew, and this was like our last time I really together, we tried to put together a multimedia comedy show. And we will try, we did do it. And it was Sam, Keith Healy,

Mark Hatchel hangs out at the comedy store a lot. And Sam, and you know, we were booking, I was getting all these shorts off the internet and like contacting the people made them and getting permission to show them. And we're, we're showing shorts in between stand up comedy. That was our idea. And we also ran it as a live like night show. So it was like Sam was behind a desk as a talk show host. Look at the shape of your ready eyeballs already. What do you expect? The new Shepherds and eyes look like fucking men of Shepherds and shit. Oh, disgusting. I love men of Shepherds. A couple fucking bangs of men with a, with a grandma blowing a Yama Khan was better than you. You know what I'm saying? So, so I go up and I hadn't done, I hadn't been active

for a while because I got a job at a record label. And so that made me like, what took up my nights. You know, a lot of my job was going out with people at night. And I started making money. And I was like, man. And I learned more about the entertainment business, which is something, you know, when you're an open mic, you're not thinking about the business. And the more I learned about the business, and I'm not that great at math, but I didn't like the math at all. I was like, you know, the percentages, you know, you could be amazing at this and not make it. I know people that by my open mic standards were beyond hero status, who have nothing, you know, they have absolutely nothing. Like they don't own anything, you know, like their car is probably 15 years old.

If they have a car, some of them don't. The struggle is hard. Yeah. And I was out of spot where I go, you know, is this what you want to do? Yeah, it's like, am I willing to pay the price is what it came down to. Am I willing to pay the price? Because I knew what, what it was, I was able to accept that, you know, but then I go, is this okay for you, you know, having nothing? Like, is this okay for you for the rest of your life? I was like, no, it's not, you know, because I felt like I had options, you know, and I wanted to try to, you know, do something with like entertainment. I still viewed us as all like going up together, you know, like an entourage thing. That was the big dream. Sam was always the heavy talent in our crew. Everybody knew it,

even though open mic days. Well, don't a lot of comics say like, if there's anything else you can do, don't you stand up? Yeah, they do. I heard a lot of people say that. I met Jimmy, Jimmy. Oh, God. Now you still run around with Sam Kenneson. Schubert. Yeah, Jimmy Schubert. I met him in Vegas was before we moved down here. And I got to talk to him for a while. And he'd been drinking a little bit. Man, he scared the shit out of me. Like how bad it could be, how dark it could be. I won this comedy contest at the comedy stop. It was funny. They give you this jacket. And then I moved down here. There's no fucking way I'm wearing that jacket around here. I'd get teased mercilessly. Not

mercilessly. It would just be like forever. So but when I saw his talk, I don't don't even know this guy's name. But the one of the comic judges was telling me, yeah, you don't want to do this. His wife was with him. She's like, yeah, it's really hard to have a relationship. And I'm looking around the people around me like nobody was getting married. Nobody was getting married, except for the people who were already married when they moved down here. You know, like the learn and OSHA people like that, you know, but nobody was in relationships, except with other comics. And that's a losing situation. Yeah, you know it is. Those first seven years of comedy, one of the hardest things. But it was weird. It was like reading the I read

the what's the guy's fucking guitar play Keith Richards. And he was like, you know, when you go off smack, you know, it's seven days of fucking hell, you know, but you know it going in. I knew it, but I had nothing else going on. Like nothing that I really wanted to do. Like this was it. Like once I got into this, I knew it. Once I did it, it took me three years to decide the path how I was going to do it. You know, one day when I said, that's it. This is what I'm going to do. I don't want to be a Hollywood movie. I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to travel and do stand up at that point. It ended up becoming something else. And when I got here, wow, I mean, I remember living on Stan Hope's couch, living on RV. I mean, I lived in so many places.

But at that point, I knew that anywhere I would go, I would have to go through the same. So let's say I became a Mason, and I came in worth for you. What are they going to pay me? Are they going to pay me eight bucks now? Well, I start what the fuck's eight dollars and I'm going to do it for me. If not, I would have had to go to a photo mat, which is something and start ground level again at 33 or 32. I think I don't know if I've been there like 17 years. I'm 51. So I got here. Yeah, when I was fucking 34 or something, I was long in the fucking tooth already. So what were my options? I got here in March. I got here in January, and I fucking struggled and struggled. And what really bailed me out was a commercial. But that commercial paid

the prior four years. It just caught up with the four years of damage I had just lived, with the lease, send me 200, lease, send me 200, you know, I had to take care of all my friends and this. And then I was left with some money. But that let me know I could do it. Do you follow me? And then I had two or three years of death. But that commercial let me know I could do it, that one stupid Taco Bell commercial, which I got on luck. It was all luck from A to Z. That let me know I could do it. And I hung on. Then I got a CBS pilot. And that let me know a little bit. And then I just kept playing it. And my wife and I were talking near this. She goes, I remember you being so fucking frustrated. You couldn't even sleep at night. You were so frustrated.

Like, I remember staying in with you and you could not sleep. It was amazing, you know, living in a one bedroom apartment, having $24 in your ATM card and your wife having, well, she wasn't my wife at the time, her having $68 an ATM, you know, banging the rent on the first. I'm barely making $700 rent. That's 350 a piece. You know, it wears on you. It wears on you when you have you don't wear underwear, not because you don't like to wear underwear, because if it's between underwear or socks, you're going to buy a pack of socks underwear to wait, you know, you got to get your haircut once every six weeks. And it's got to be a good haircut. You figure out ways. Once you're poor like that, you do figure out ways to there was a gas station

on sunset in between Curson and whatever. The guy that ran it was always outside helping people. I would always steal a pack of cigarettes. I always had a way. I didn't get what I wanted, but I got what I needed. You know, I didn't know when it was going to end. I didn't know when it was going to end. And I think it took me seven years to catch a financial break, you know, because when you're in the business, yeah, your books on me, you make $5,000. But that's it. That's it for the year. So you're happy. Yeah, I made 5,400 on this shoot. But that's it. You know, once that 5,400 over, you're back to $15 set to the comedy store. And, you know, in those days, they paid you 300 to go on the road with no fucking plane ticket. 300 on the road with no

plane ticket. Your plane ticket's $99. That means you got 201 in a strange city to eat, fuck, suck, and come back to pay your bills with. So it's a fucking struggle, you know. Now, when I met you, you started writing. So you always had writing gigs. What was your first writing gig? I started writing for, well, once I started, I got laid off from my job in the music industry. And but I had met some publicists, and I was dating a publicist. And so I started getting work doing bios. Just on a basis they knew I could write. Because I had always been like, you know, the writer boy. When my first contest, writing contest, when I was like four about what a great father I had, you know, he's still got it framed on his wall, which is kind of cute. So it's,

you know, the most money in the world. And he was like an enlisted guy in the Air Force. So he was actually, they had to pick up cans to buy baby formula for my sister, you know, because like they didn't pay military guys anything back then. Anyway, but just like the irony of me talking about, and that's what I thought at the time. I didn't realize we were poor until I was like 16 and guys from other schools started picking up chicks from my high school. And like everybody around who actually went to my school had like really trash, crappy, you know, old cars, and then guys showing up in brand new BMWs at my age, like, oh, wow, we don't make much money. But, you know, like it never occurred to me that I had less than anybody because I guess because

I was in my dad was in the military. So everybody basically had the same shit. Yeah. So when you got into writing out here. Oh, yeah. So what I have so so what I was doing was I was writing a baby band bios, which is horrific. I will never ever ever no matter how desperate I get to that. I mean, how do I write a biography for a person who has no life experience? You know, like she's been taking piano lessons since she was four. And now she's got this album. But she's never done anything before. Anyway, it's a horrific writing experience. Corporate bios, press releases. It's amazing the stuff you do to make money. My first job here, I had a better title, but I was like building furniture. And one day I was scraping to labels off of camera cases

with Google and a butter knife. I was paying my student loans back and I was like, fuck. And what was your title assistant editor? And you was putting furniture together, putting furniture together, cleaning, reorganizing shit. Gugon. It was terrible because for a while that you were coming to the economy store. And that's how I met and that's how we talked every Sunday night. We talk about shit and blah, blah, blah. And then I remember you getting writing work. Yeah, no, so, you know, you work, we wrote for high times for a while. No, I pitched an article on I was freelance writing for a while. I was writing for a bunch of different magazines and like LA architecture, which is cool. Like they said, hey, do you know

anything about architecture? And I was broken. I was like, yes, I do. I've read about that. And so I got work doing that. And so anyway, you just, if you're a freelance writer, you just send query letters to editors and say, hey, would you be interested in a story about this or whatever your pitch is, right? And would be stuff you'd already written? No, no, no. Usually just send the query, like just and then if you're somebody's interested, then you can go do it. Or you might have if you think you've got something that that's definitely going to sell, you might have already like built it up, be even easier then. But so you just pitch it. That's how you get your work. And that's what I wanted to do for a long time. And so I was happy, even though, but the problem is

you never know when you get paid. It doesn't get paid till it gets published. And so you can do a lot of work and not and so yeah, you're 2000. There's always a fucking by the way, isn't there? Yeah, yeah, there's always a fucking by the way in the entertainment business. People think at home that you come out here and you're drinking Bloody Marys all day. I just did a job a month ago. I just got the fucking check because they sent the check to the agent. Then the agent, the accountant will come in for one week, then he fills it out. And by the time you fucking get it, it could have sent it on horseback. I would have got it before that. You know what I'm the type of dude, when I do something, I'm like, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about three weeks. I don't know.

Send me the fucking check. So I called the agent here. This is I said, I love you guys to death. I respect you. But from now on, I'm getting the checks direct. Well, we don't do that when we can't represent me. I don't want checks 50 days out. Like this check got cut September 8. Why am I getting October 4? Why? What? And then Burbank, you know, they got fucking no. So that, you know, it's always something that shit. My fucking juice side gets fucking furious. You think I'm fucking kidding you? I just don't say none. When I do a job and they say 10 days, I'm not sweating it. But in the back of my mind, I'm like, it's day number eight. Yeah, this motherfucker better be in my mailbox by Thursday. Well, it's amazing how many free jobs that people ask you to do.

Like you must have had the not when you're an open miker, but when you were a professional comic, you must get requests for free stuff. I know you do you get a request for like YouTube videos. Well, free is how you get experience. You follow me? So it's like, if I come to Scott right now, Scott ain't doing dick anyway. And I go, Scott, I got this hot fucking magazine. What's a hot magazine? Yeah, anybody know you know any magazines you Scott? Jujitsu fucking weekly. Okay. And I go, Scott, I can't get you paid. But I get you an article in there once a fucking week. There's some things that are worth doing. It's got a million really shit. You know what, and I guarantee the guy that comes to Scott is getting 200 for that article. He just talks,

Scott. And Scott's a saint of a guy. Somebody's got to be fucking getting paid. It's like those people I do those fucking Halloween movies for the Christmas movie. They call you every year and tell you how they didn't make money in this movie. But why would you do it again? Would you keep fucking the same crack call she gave you a syphilis? I don't fucking think so. So who the next time I tell them, I'm like, who the fuck do you people think you're kidding? This is what you give me for this movie. And they go, okay, but we can't do this for the next one. Then they call you with the next one. Tell you the same thing. We're doing another one. Yeah. Okay. As long as that motherfucker goes up. Oh, we didn't, we didn't sell it.

You sold it to somebody because fucking somebody's doing it again. Yeah. Why would you do it? I love those people. I don't even know why I do this. I'm not making any money. Then why are you doing it? I wouldn't do it. I'd be at home giving my wife a stab at eating fucking donuts. If I, you know, there's a point between being an intern, like a couple of years when I came out here, these NBC interns were suing NBC because they said they got caught. They only got coffee and they weren't doing real work. And those people are idiots because they'll never work again. There's a point of being an intern, but there's a point where you have to, and it's basically yourself where you say you're professional and you can't help out a free, a free independent

movie for a credit and next time they'll pay you because then you don't get money. You all got to start somewhere. Yeah. It's up to you what you want to do. There's people that get money for every move they make. There's people that don't ask. If you don't ask, you're not going to get it. Right. And if you ask somebody and they get insulted and that person's not real, they were going to fuck you in the ass anyway. Am I lying to you? Right or wrong? If you ask somebody for money, they get insulted. How many times, listen, I've had this happen. I've had somebody call you and you tell them no and they'll call somebody else and pay that person. Are you serious? There's people who are fucking ridiculous. So you know what, man? You only live

once. You only go around this corner once. You should always ask for something. And sometimes you might do something for half price, but just working alongside somebody. When Rogan calls me, you know, I went on the road with Rogan for six or seven years. Even when I was headlining, people go, why are you going on the road? I might learn something. I get another opportunity to try my joke in front of these fucking people in the theater in Washington, D.C. Why wouldn't I go if there's 3000 people there and one of those person likes me and follows me and listens to the fucking podcast. That's great. So there's things. There's, you know, now when people call me, they try, oh yeah, because I'm doing it. Listen, guy, go away.

You know what I'm saying? Go away. Because I know, but there's people that I just got a film the other day. I swear to God, I'll show this to you. You're going to die. Who's in this movie? I did a short film. I didn't know these people in this movie. Everybody is a star. I'm the only fucking loser. It was an NBC deal. That's why they never gave it to me. Didn't I tell you? No, I was waiting for a reel and these motherfuckers wouldn't send it to me. No, the kid wouldn't give me an answer. I got a call like two years ago. Hi, this is Marsha at NBC. We're shooting this fucking thing. And that thing with the community people, community people. Oh, it's got everybody. Chris, dirty rock people. Anything on NBC? The one with the office. Those people are in it.

Dirty rock in it. Fucking communities in it. So it's everybody from NBC. And I own an Italian restaurant. It's about the Boy Scouts and they sell heroin nationwide. So the Boy Scouts are going on a camping trip. But what they're really doing is distributing heroin and all these markets. And I'm the main distributor. They come to me at this Italian restaurant and they talk about Ziti. It's fucking classic. I watched it. Everybody. I mean, every single fucking person. I did it for free. I was furious. I did it. You know, now people saw me in a circle of good people. So sometimes that was, I did that as a favor for her. But it was, she told me, you're going to be in and out at Joey. It's two hours. I got there at eight and I was in my car by 9 30. But I did it

for free. But I didn't know I was going to be in the circle with all those people. Makes me look good. No, that's true. I see what you're saying. There definitely are points where you, you should sacrifice money for, for like moving ahead. But there are some people who take advantage, especially out here. Don't take fucking advantage. They'll ask you to write with two articles. They're pretty good. They'll ask you to write for fucking life. And then you'll say to them, hey, dog, not for none. You're charging $3 for that magazine. Nothing trickles down this way. How dare you? After what I've done for you, I've published you really. But where's my fucking money from the yield of my fucking labor, cocksucker? Yeah, I actually tried writing for

MMA sites. And they, they kind of said that I would need to work for free. And I'd been professional for so long that I was like, I've kind of already earned my chops. I've got my publishing clips. I'm just not interested in doing it for that, you know, it's just at a certain point, it becomes what you bought in the beginning. Fuck yeah, you get published. Yeah. Fuck yeah. You know, the buy lines. You didn't get me in high times. Oh, I got Eddie in high times. Okay, who got me in high times? I don't think it was me. Somebody contacted me and said, write an article about the first time you got high. I wrote a story about my friend taking me to a church in the village and I was fucking blown away. Like I never went back to a Catholic church

again. Like that's how much then my mother died shortly after that. I was like, I'm done with God. I'm done with that motherfucker. They're selling weed and shit. But I wrote that story. But it's just now I knew you in 97 98, then you disappeared. And then one day I walk into an Eddie Bravo class and there you are sweating like a pig rolling around with a new look, a complete new physique, and an air of confidence. What happened? What made you I mean, if anybody if they put you in a room and said pick a jujitsu guy in here, you're the last motherfucker would have picked. What made you walk into Eddie Bravos? Actually, my roommate, what year was the time? I started my first day was February 15 2005. Wow. And what made you walk into Eddie Bravo? Well, I was living with Sam

Trippley. And he was going to go down. Joe Rogan was encouraging a lot of comics to triities class. And I wasn't gonna let my roommate be able to kick my ass. So so I went down with him. And I was looking for something. I didn't like the gym. I hate counting the 10 or 12 over and over again. I find it monotonous. And so and I decided I was actually I was looking for what I was going to be in life because I just kind of like acknowledged admitted myself. I'm not interested in doing comedy anymore. It's very difficult decision because it's your identity. You know, you're a comic. No matter what you're doing, nobody describes themselves by the the jobs that they're doing to get by at the time. You know, you're a comic and you're always doing comedy.

It makes me sad to go watch comedy nowadays. You know, because because that that was something that I loved. And then somebody will tell that joke. I'm like, dude, I could be up there. And I'm just too competitive as part of it, I guess. Anyway, I miss it. But I forgot where I was going. Why you started jujitsu? Yeah. Oh, jujitsu. So Sam took me down. We went down. And I had no idea who Eddie Bravo was. No idea at all. Is it the bomb squad? This at the bomb squad. Santa Monica Boulevard. And it was a trader Joe's closed. What's the restaurant there? Oh, the Yukon. The Yukon. Right. Lee loves that shit. So what's the Yukon mining company? They sell shit that'll kill you. I love that shit. So I was, I guess it was 30, 30, 31 at the time.

And I was, I just recently started new medicine, right? And that it basically, I could work out. I had, I had like, I have narcolepsy. And I started a medicine. I basically made it where I'm like 99.9%. Right. Whoa. So and it changed everything for me. Did you ever have like a bad accident? No, no. Okay. It's, it's just like I was diagnosed with it. And, you know, oddly enough, my problem was when I laughed too hard, I fall down. And so I went into standup comedy. Because I got balls like that. What's the, what happens during narcolepsy? Okay, so there's a chemical that prevents you from acting out your dreams when you go to sleep. So, you know, like if you're dreaming like you're a Nam or something, then you got to kill the Viet Cong.

Well, you don't wake up and find your wife dead, you know. So you're paralyzed while you sleep. And for narcoleptics, certain emotional states can trigger that chemical to get released. Oh, shit. And so I'm technically awake and asleep at the same time when that happens. So it shuts my body down, but my body's sending messages. Hey, don't fall down. So it's all, shh. And in my case, the primary trigger is laughter. Are you serious? Yeah. And so I mean, man, when I first got, when I first fucked up, yeah, it is, when it first went full, I couldn't laugh at all when it went full blown. But when I was 18, 19, this is what, that's why I got kicked out of the Navy. It happened in the Navy. And it just like watching The Simpsons was like murder. But I'm like,

I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna take it. I'm not backing down off of this. And so I'd have to watch the same show like three times because I would miss that much of the material because I'd be on the ground. You know, I had to like get a bean bag. So because the chairs I kept falling out of them. It was so funny. So can it be like anger for some people or sadness? It can be anger, fear can do it. There sounds like a stupid question. But are you allowed to drive if you have narcolepsy? Actually, I don't have a license. Oh, wow. Although I finally got cleared. Like, I am clear to go get a license. I just apparently I'm afraid to go do that. But this is what I guess it is. Well, that's awesome. Now you did comedy and now you're

like doing a fighting sport. Yeah, no. So anyway, I realized that my body didn't have the limitations that it formerly had. Like I took this medicine day one. I was like, holy shit. This is what awake is. You know, it was different. It fixed me and it's GHP. And I was like, wow, this is I was like, I was waking up and my legs were warm, just like a warm team we fill in. It's like, this is amazing. I get this warm team and somebody goes, Scott, that's called circulation. So I really will fucking circulation rocks. It was just, you know, like things I didn't realize were wrong. We're all of a sudden. Yeah, yeah, it's just like because it's neurological. And so anytime something's wrong with your brain, it just rewires itself and all sorts of crappy

shit happens as a side effect. So like one of the my minor side effects was I couldn't like sweat properly. Like when I was in boot camp, everybody's soaking wet from the workout, except me. Like I'm like, my chest is dry. And so they're like, you know, yelling at me because clearly I'm not working out hard enough. So I had to learn to start taking it off my face and wiping it on my chest so that they because I wasn't sweating. And so I'd get sick from the working out because I wasn't releasing the toxins. And so, you know, it kind of like really held me back. So what does your medicine do? Oh, wait, we got to come in. Sorry. There's the man of steel. What's happened, little brother?

What's up, dog? How you doing? Sitting here with one of your main motherfuckers, Scott Ross. Oh shit, Scott Ross just being classed. What's going on? We got to cover tonight. We got to cover. We're now those down there as the Brazilian fucking teaching spider guard to the fucking zombie. Are we on the air right now? We're on the air, brother. It's all yours. So I'll tell these people what's cracking. This Friday at the Florentine Gardens in Hollywood, my grappling show, it's called EBI,

Eddie Bravo Invitational. If you're anywhere in Southern California and you enjoyed Jiu Jitsu, you're not really that into Jiu Jitsu because the blunt system has a boardy to death. I designed a tournament just for you, just for the guys who are bored with points tournaments. And we've done one show so far that's available on YouTube. EBI one's on YouTube, available for free. All you got to do is search, hey, Bravo Invitational, EBI one. Just put all that in the search because there's a lot of EBI bootlegs and you don't want to, you know, if you want to watch the version that I put out with commentary, Scott Ross is the commentator. Also, Air Compiler Cruises is the color commentator with different camera angles.

It's professionally shot. You want to watch the professional one. Eddie Bravo Invitational, EBI one, two parts. Part one is the featherweight, 16 man featherweight tournament. Part two is a 16 man welterweight tournament. All submission only one match at a time and EBI one had a 95% submission ratio. Every match actually in both 16 man brackets, the featherweight in the welterweight, every match went to submission except for the final in the featherweight division. So it's a beautiful thing watching a 16 man tournament unfold, watching them one at a time, the maximum one at a time. Generally, people are watching fights on YouTube, you know, one match at a time. They're not watching the whole thing unfold and that's what I think is different about EBI.

I mean, MetaMorris is a fantastic show. I love MetaMorris. I know Bob and Dobby. But, you know, a tournament in my opinion is more exciting to watch than single matches only because you get to see a piece of the finalist careers. Like, you see the last three fights that night. You know, it's a beautiful thing. And even if you don't know anybody in the tournament, by the time you watch or get to the final, you know, exactly who those finalists are. And EBI one was very successful. Like I said, it's available hopefully on YouTube and this Friday's EBI two featuring Gio Freakazord Martinez. He won the featherweight one at EBI one. He won the featherweight division and now he's dropping down to Bancomway trying to take

both titles. And Danny Pocopos is also in it. He's won the 55 division, make an orchard still in the 55 division. Barrett Yoshida is doing the 155 division. Eric Medina. Eric Medina. Eric Medina from Jean-Jacques Machado. He's doing 135. We have Fabio Pazos. He's a Cobrinha Black Belt. He's doing 135. So, you know, we could very well see Gio Martinez versus Fabio Pazos in the finals. That's a possibility. Who knows, there could be some huge upsets and maybe both guys get knocked out. Who knows? Also, 10th planet Riverside instructor Randall Bolf. He's doing 35. 10th planet Corona head instructor Jeremy Shields. He's doing 155 and we got a more solo Garcia representative. We got

we got guys from all different countries. It's going to be a crazy event. Again, we're doing two divisions, 135 and 155 this Friday. The doors open at six o'clock. It's in Hollywood. The ticket is 35 bucks. I wanted it to be 25 bucks, but my partner, he twisted my arm and so it's going to be 35 bucks. It's still very, very cheap. You can get your tickets at eddybravilindicational.com. You can get them now. There's still plenty of seats available. It's for sure going to be a barn burner. What also looks EDI a little bit different is our overtime rounds are based on submissions, not based on who the better wrestler is. So I totally revamped and redesigned overtime rounds to make it more exciting

and make it more about who is a better submission artist, not who is a better wrestler. I love wrestling, wrestling is vital in the sport, but we want to see, I think as a whole, we'd rather see submissions more than two guys wrestling and trying to pick each other back. So kind of illuminated that from the sport. This EBI is about finding out who the best submission artist is, not who the best point players are, who the best, who are the best at getting advantages installing it. There's no incentive to install or to stall at all in EBI. We took out every incentive. So it's high-paste, high-action, and the goal is to get this show to make jujitsu exciting enough that American networks will want it. I mean, there's no reason why

we can't have exciting jujitsu on TV. They've got dudes pulling tractors with their T. There's no reason why we can't have some high-quality jujitsu. I saw a darts on the other fucking night. At noon o'clock at night on ESPN, I saw a game of darts. I felt like fucking shooting that fucking TV. I used to hate darts when I was a kid. When I go to a barn trying to snort blow, there's a bunch of fucking dudes with leather skin and shirts on throwing fucking darts. Get the fuck out of here. There's an activity. There's a bar. Go snort blow like everybody else, you fuck. So if they have darts on fucking TV, they can have jujitsu on TV, 11 o'clock every night, five nights a week for a half hour. You know what I'm saying? Why not? Why not? Why not?

In the middle of the fucking matches, Eddie teaches a move like Red on Round Ball. I was watching the NBA channel the other day in the 80s. Red Orback, the coach of the fucking Celtics, would teach a move at halftime. Every week Eddie brings somebody in while he teaches his own fucking move. You can make it exciting on TV. You really can. Eddie's rules that he has for it do make it exciting. Like there's no reason to just stall out and there's incentive not to stall out. As a matter of fact, only one match went to overtime at the first one. That matched it with overtime. Because the overtime rounds are based on submissions, it was a lot more exciting to see than an overtime round based on wrestling. So again, I love wrestling. It's very important.

I tell all my guys to wrestle, wrestle, wrestle. But as far as putting halfs in seats to watch a grappling event, it has to be heavy on submission. It has to be all about submission. You know, Eddie Brown, life is really nice. I've known you for a while. I've known Scott for a while and it's great to watch when people, you know, families or they grow in life. But this has just been amazing the last five years for me because we're all growing together. You're getting into a different part of jujitsu. You were a great jujitsu guy. Now you really want to spread the word. And it's amazing to see everybody fucking grow. Growing, you know, just went and taught jujitsu. Right now, I'm at 10 plant ocean side right now with Gio Martinez. That's

the weird thing is I'm talking about him and then how EDI is teaching him. I'm actually here in Oceanside teaching how to school right now. I'm looking at him right now. I'm wearing a 10 plant fruit rash guard right now. And I forgot what I was going to say, Joey. I fuck it. The reef is working. You know what I thought? You know what I thought? But we were at his house before a class and I saw Joe Rogan on our show on Comedy Central. I'm like, I'm like, God, and I was just thinking because you're saying, we all grew in our own way. Before I saw that Irish, I'm like, wow. I saw Steve Renazizzi in the league. Like right before that, I'm like, man, like all these guys from the comedy store, Steve Renazizzi, Irish Affir. That's like, that's like the original

like Desquad, you know, right there. Everyone's got their own shows now and blowing up. You're blowing up. It's pretty crazy how like birds of a feather, man. That stuff's real. You know, it's amazing that you're looking to put jujitsu on the map in a different way. Like who would have fucking thought three years ago, four or five years ago, when we're talking shit in the back of a plane, you never dreamed of VBI. I mean, I know you did. I know you. So it was always in the back of your mind. You had it planned out, but it's just amazing where things are going, man. And it's really bad to see when I went to New York, my fucking nephew came up to me and he's like, Hey, man, I went to a tournament and I did well. I beat the guy,

but he had one of your patches on his gear hurt my feelings. He goes, but at the same time, he goes, you got to hook me up with any Bravo stuff. Like he couldn't believe that I knew you. It was a little regional tournament and people were talking about you and he's like, wow, Joey hangs out with him. He knows who it is. So in these circles, you're like this Bruce Lee of jujitsu because you're bringing something different to the table, man. And that's what you wanted. That's what you always wanted. You know, whether it's no ghee, whether it's the submissions only, that's what you've always wanted to help the game. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I wouldn't be doing any of this if someone else already did it. I mean, I would rather just sit back and enjoy a

show like EDI and these, these rules, but I was trying to talk people into these rules, these different promoters. I didn't even want to do it. I just want to enjoy it, but I couldn't talk in anybody, any promoters into these rules that I got into this format. So it was, there just came a point where I just thought, I just got to do it and, and with the Bobby Law, my partner in EDI, he's, uh, you know, he's, he's the one who's actually producing it and making it happen. They're just my rules and my concepts, but Vitor is the one who's out there busting his ass and making it happen and using all his, um, television connections to the UFC and all that to make this happen. All we're trying to do is get jujitsu on TV and make it as exciting

as possible now. So, uh, every jujitsu fan, um, should enjoy it. If you're a real jujitsu fan, you should enjoy what we're trying to do. You should, uh, I think you should be trying to help us out and, um, I'm rooting for this to work, you know, because all it's going to do is just elevate jujitsu and, uh, you know, I have a lot of people who, who out there in the jujitsu community who, uh, hope I fail at what I try and all that stuff and I, I have one day out, those feelings can change and, and people really do realize that I'm just trying to improve jujitsu man and now I need all the help I can get and all the guys in my, in my association, we're all working together trying to make this happen and, uh, we could use more help. It would be nice if the

entire Brazilian jujitsu community, we all got together and we, we pushed, uh, we pushed and we all put our minds together like, how could we make jujitsu as exciting as possible? And I think I like, I think with EBI, I think we're pretty close back to EBI who was so successful, was so, uh, it was perfect man. I, it couldn't have gone any better. Um, and I, I would just continue to, uh, to hope that we can keep pulling off these shows. You know, maybe EBI too this Friday will be a disaster. Who knows, maybe it sucks, but there's so many quality guys in the tournament that, man, I, it's anything that happened, but I, of course, we're hoping for the best and, and I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure it's going to be another, uh, exciting show.

Hopefully just as exciting as EBI won. I love you brother. I'm going to have to go out there on Friday night and support you. See how they give them a hug, cock suckers. Don't fuck around. Beautiful man. Eddie Bravo, Eddie Bravo, rotational.com for tickets, 10 planet JJ.com. If you want to learn the 10 plant system, um, if you want to find out if there's a location near you, click locations. You want to learn the 10 plant system, click techniques. You want to buy some 10 planet gear. Uh, we got some new stats. It just came out. Just press a click store and or shop. I forget what's on it is in that. Um, also we got a pretty cool forum at 10 planet JJ.com. Click the new beautiful forum. Uh, if you want to meet all of the 10 planet general, that's what

we all hang out. Um, thank you Joey for having me on man. Good luck on Friday. I'll be cheering for you, my man. Okay, man. Thank you. Thank you. Beautiful. Yeah. See you man. Take it easy. You know, cause I mean, we live in LA here to continue my conversation with you. We live in LA here. I mean, in 2005, there were a couple of jujitsu schools, the Gracie's couple of people, you walked into at ease and it's amazing how lucky I was. Yeah, it is amazing. You know, yeah, it was synchronicity, uh, you know, when the right shit happens. How was it at first? There was nobody there. It was like, I believe my first class is just me and Sam and, uh, I was at a day classes. Day classes were really small. So I was basically

getting like a semi private lesson from Eddie Bravo and I had no idea, no idea how, how, how, how fortunate I was. How was your first year? Um, well, let me put it like the first week, like actually probably like my third day in, I, I looked around and, and I had, uh, Paul Semtax daily that the British MMA guy, he was on the left of me. He was training with us for like a week or two, I guess. And then I had, uh, Gunnar, uh, which is our bionic Marine guy, uh, was on, on the other side of me and he was, he had the Marine record for doing, uh, pull-ups, you know. So the guy was just in crazy good shape and I'm like, I'm just trying to get in shape. These guys are athletes. What am I

doing here? You know, and I overheated because I didn't know to drink enough water and I went outside to try to throw up and I was like, what am I doing? I don't know if I can really handle this. And then I said, but this is what you wanted to do. You know, like I'd already decided I was already, because the first day I met Eddie, he gives me his Twister DVD. I went, I went back, which is basically it's got a lot of his matches from purple belt up so you can see his style develop and a little bit of his bio and he's got these comedy skits in it, you know. Um, anyway, I watch it and he makes, he presents his argument for his system, for, for why he does Jiu Jitsu the way he does. And I critically analyzed it and I said, you know what, that makes sense.

I, I, it sounds logical. I agree with that. And then, you know, and he had, uh, you know, his win over the first one, you know, and it's like, wow, that's awesome. I'm lucky. And so, and I went and I just, I went to every class we had and I said, I was thinking about doing like two days every day to, and he's like, well, you know, you don't want to, you don't want to overdo it, you know, or something like that, you know, you might get burned out. And if he hadn't said that, I would have been doing it. But, uh, because I was just, I wear gi pants because I wear gi, wears gi pants. I was just like, I agree. This man knows what he's talking about. I'm going to do what he's doing. You know, my game was the rubber guard. My game was the lockdown.

Uh, I have a killer lockdown. It's still like, I, well, if you're a white butt, you're going to tap, you know, because like when I put it on, it's just a genetic gift. You know, you can't like train to be able to do it. Uh, it's just my legs fit together right. So I can really hurt people when I do it. I got really bony shins. How long were you at bomb squad for training? I wanted to put you guys down there for, um, I think it was, I think it was just like, uh, it was under two years. And then you guys moved to La Brea. Yeah. Yeah. And I was telling Lee, because Lee likes Thai food.

Yeah, they got a nice. Don't tell the name of the place, but one day I went there with Eddie and her roach fell from the ceiling on top of the table and reading the food. And I'm like, I was always against Thai food. Like, you don't understand. It was like a joke on me. Like they, they were like, no, we're going to talk in the Thai place. And I'm like, I'm not going in there. I don't like Thai food. He's like, come on, bro. They got great fried rice. I know the guys. We go in there every night after jujitsu. I thought I'm in there two minutes talking and a fucking roach falls right on the table there.

I lost my fucking mind. But that's where I walked in and I saw you. And it just destroyed my insides because I never figured you're for jujitsu guy. Now your back had changed. You had a V back at the time. You know, I met you. You were a thin guy, but now your body had transformed. Oh, absolutely. It was just amazing. Like his physique, trans fucking formed. You had the rash guard gone. There was a polar sweat next to you. You were missing a toot.

You were fucking horizontal. I tell you, man, I've done a lot of things. I've done construction. I was a hottie. You know, I did not a hottie, like a fucking half a fact dancing. A hottie. Like I carried fucking sod and shit up hard, you know, concrete and shit. Not a hottie, like a good looking guy. Those were some great pictures to find. I know, but I did all this hard work and martial arts. I've always loved it. Like Rassan's father was my first karate teacher when I came from Cuba when I was five in New York

City. Wow. How fucking crazy is that? Mr. Orange. I got my green belt from Mr. Orange. That's amazing. That's fucking crazy. And even like Mr. Orange is martial arts. He was a hardcore black dude. And I think he hated white people. 1969, 1968. So he made us like the class was an hour and a half and the first half hour was hard calisthenics like push-ups, sit-ups. I remember doing those things, clapping and going, what the fuck is this shit? This is not what I want to do. I want to throw kicks.

And the clinker was, he would make you run with your guion in the neighborhood where you lived in. You don't know what life is, so you got to run by the neighborhood bullies with your fucking guion and they see you walking to him. He did that. So the next day you would fuck those motherfuckers up. I mean, that was the hardcore of it. But to make a long story short, when I walked into V-MAC that first week at Jiu-Jitsu, those two classes were the hardest thing I had ever done in my life. No wrestling experience. I played high school football. You know, I played freshman year. I played semi-pro football when I was in the eighth

grade when you weighed over 135 and you had to play like guys that were sophomores. And we practiced twice a week. I did that, you know, double fucking time. You know, when you play football, the first two weeks of football, you got to go to practice twice a day and on a degree whether you're doing burpees, you're doing fucking all this crazy shit. But I was also 50. You know, when I first walked into Jiu-Jitsu, I was 49 years old. But the first two fucking classes I took, I was like, no, this is not working. This is not going to work for Uncle Joey. It was completely against what I believe. First of all, I don't like bare feet. I don't like my feet bare.

That's your first problem? Number one, number two, I don't like touching men's feet. Like, that'll never fucking happen. I'll tap before I grab your fucking foot. All right? I don't like guys' asses on me. I don't like none of that shit. I don't like people sweating on me. And that's what made me want to go in there. I'm the type of guy that if I got a problem, I'm going to go deal with it. And it took me how many fucking years to be friends with Eddie. And I go, you know what? They opened up a school, a block from my house. And that's the only reason, Scott. I went in there and I go, this is perfect.

Because it's a low-key school. It's a white belt school. Even now, three years in, they've only got a few blue belts with stripes. So everybody's a fucking white belt. So the guy's like, you came to the right place because we start from scratch, and hey, that was the hardest thing I ever did. The hip escape, I almost died. Two or three hip escapes. Let me tell you, hip escapes are hard, with a motherfucker on top of you. Oh, shit. When you do that first hip escape and you haven't moved an inch, nothing has happened. So the first year, I mean, I can't imagine,

but I can. It makes you think how a guy like you, who's very quiet and low-key, kept going back. Just kept going back. When made you go back six, seven months in, eight months in, now you're two years in and you go up to that fucking school where he had monsters over there. He had monsters on LeBrette. Those are monsters in there. That was intimidating. You walked in there, you could smell testosterone and fucking, and triangles and shit. You could smell them. You could smell fucking submissions. How did you, what made you keep going back, man? The health of it? The choking out? You know, that

it was, I needed, I needed it. I knew I was looking for something and, you know, there's a void. What do you get from it when you go over there? Like when you went there two years in, and what do you get in now nine years in? Well, you know, it was a, an escape? No, it was a, I do, there's several aspects of it. And one part was I really enjoyed the fact that I was improving myself. You know, it was fun, but I, and I, I liked that it is an intellectual challenge as well as physical. I couldn't go to the gym and work out as hard as I do, as I, as I do with jujitsu, just rolling. There's no way, like I, I just don't have that sort of drive. You know, I find it very monotonous. So it never worked for me. You know, I could never

stick with it, but, but jujitsu was like, that motherfucker, I'm going to get him tomorrow. You know, every fucking day, there's somebody who, who got me and it's like, you know, not tomorrow. And that's when you start out, that's the goal. Just like, Oh, he's not going to catch me that way tomorrow. I'm going to get this. I'm going to go look it up. I'm going to ask people. I never wanted to ask the person who kept catching me in a submission how to stop it, because I knew he was going to go for it. I want to know how to reverse that shit. You know, so I always had a defensive bent to me. And I just took, took to it. And then I'm, I'm competitive as hell. I didn't realize how, how competitive. Well, I guess I forgot how competitive I am in a way.

I had to remove that from my life. Yeah. Early age. For me to succeed, I really had to remove that. Remove what? Competitiveness? I had it too much as a child playing basketball. See, that's my first love. I think that's good. I'm with you. I understand what you went through with the comedy. I still wake up at nights and times and get upset about my basketball. Like I want to get up and stab that coach because his negativity stopped me. I was never going to get nowhere in basketball, but maybe it would have kept me in school for four years. Maybe it would have got me a scholarship toward the vision to reschool. This motherfucker for his dislike of me didn't play me. And I didn't take it as that. I took it as something different at 14.

You don't know how to take things, you know? So when you started talking about the comedy, I felt your pain because my first love was basketball. My first love was to be in the NCAA championship and start and go out there and for them to say where I was from and my name and for my friends to cheer for me. Once that was taken from me, I turned to drugs and all the other shit I did, you know? So I applaud you. The reason why I was pushing out of Jiu-Jitsu because it feels a void for me too. It feels, I don't like this Hollywood shit. Since day one, I didn't know how to escape it. My escape was getting a grandma blow it and I'm being by myself and processing the nose and why. And why is Scott with Three Arts and Joe Diaz

is with Coloring Book Agency? And why is Lee on CBS? That's a very hard thing on your mind. So after I got to get off the coke for me to lose the weight, I joined Kung Fu School. I didn't want it to be with people that I knew. I didn't want them to know I was a comic. I just wanted them to think I was a fat fucker, white hair from New York who looked like he had done blow for 80 years. And he just wanted to be in the back doing horse stances, you know? That was very important to me. After a while they were like, hey man, you know, I was watching TV, is that you inspired a man too? And then the rat came out. And for a year I went. People would ask you questions, but it's amazing. I don't bring my phone into Jiu-Jitsu. Same way I don't bring

my phone into the YMCA when I go work out. Same way when I do kettlebells, I don't bring my phone because I want it to be my hour. It's my fucking hour. I know where the baby is and I don't know where my wife is. If the whole world ends, it's not my problem. I got a job to do. I got to do fucking this political 40 minutes. I got to hit the back the 30. I got to throw some weights around. And it was my hour to get away from the, oh my God Scott, we love your article. We're going to use it next month. Oh my, listen, I've been doing this for 30 years and your article was so amazing. But just like last time, we're not going to be able to pay you. And then as you leave, you see Harvey Homo with glasses coming and you see them give him a check for 500 and you

read his fucking article and it's about garbage. And it really fucks you with a guy like you, because this is what you do. So it's amazing how I think the Jiu-Jitsu in a way filled that void for you. I'm no fucking mind reader, but I know that ever since I started working out in 2007, my career has changed because it's given me that hour, two hours to get away from it, to just be a fat fuck and try to get my oxygen to breathe better or just to do an extra 10 minutes on the epileptical, you know? Oh, sure. I think it does something like the same way a lot of people drop by happy hour, you know, they need to turn off from work mode, you know, so they can like go home and not shoot their families.

And it does that like whatever your problems are, you work out so hard that you really can't think about them, you know? I've had nights where I've had to stop having conversations because I couldn't think I was too tired. And it's something that is good though, because it lets you reset, because when I wake up the next day, I got a fresh perspective on things. You know, you need to be able to detach to look at things objectively and come up with a better strategy. I applaud, you know, when I told Lee you were going to be on the show, I go Scott Ross, a friend of mine, and Lee didn't know who the fuck I was talking about, and I've always thought. Well, I know now. Well, no, I'm saying like he has the beginner's class Friday, right?

Right, that's the thing. You told me about it a lot. It's so weird that, you know, sometimes when people at home look at the guest on the thing, and I always find people that are very interesting, and I always thought you were interesting character, because again, I would never pick you to walk into a jujitsu class, not that you're a half a fruit, and I think I picked you for some reason. Yeah, no, no. You just don't have the muscle build. You don't talk about it. You're very non-assuming,

and that's the guys I've always said I'm scared of the most. I grew up around tough guys, and I grew up around non-assuming guys that'll put a shiv in your fucking eyeball, and you hear your thinking, oh, that guy fucking reads encyclopedias for a living. That motherfucker will put a shiv in your fucking eyeball. That guy over there that tells you he's gonna put a shiv in your eyeball, he's not gonna do it to you. So it's you guys that scared me the most, and then I see what you're doing to the jujitsu, and so now you're a brown belt, at least put you in charge of all the beginners. Yeah, and how much do you enjoy that?

I love it. I love this is it. Yeah, no. We just had a competition this weekend, and I took a small crew, and I didn't compete, I just coached, but I'm a really mellow guy, even when I'm not high. I'm really mellow. How high are you now? I'm pretty damn high. That's a good fucking brownie. Yeah, it's a good brownie. You don't.

That's a tremendous product. Yeah, it is. You don't know how lucky you are, cocksucker. I could be kidding you. No, I'm super high. This is good stuff. This is good stuff. New chef. New chef.

But it's like when I start coach, I get all bobby night, you know? I'm like threatening to kill them if they tap. I've done that before. I've told a guy I was caught in like a neck crank. Don't you fucking adapt to that. Don't you dare fucking adapt to that neck crank. And he didn't, you know? He just took it, and he ended up winning the match, and he got a medal, so it worked.

How fun are tournaments? I didn't do jiu-jitsu, I did wrestling in high school, but when you take the bus, did you spend the whole day about like peanut butter sandwiches on the wheat because they told you that was healthy? Like those like all day tournaments like that are so fun going around from from Matt to Matt to see who's wrestling or jiu-jitsu. Yeah, it's very similar in that sort of tournament style. I'm always running all over because I have like everybody wants their coach to be the coach,

but there's only one me, and I have too many students, but it's amazing. It's amazing seeing my guys push themselves, and by guys I mean men and women, because we got a lot of women that compete, and seeing them progress. And like God, when they win, you're like, oh, thank God. It's very emotional, but seeing them improve. I like taking what, and I try to take what Eddie taught me, you know? And keep moving that, you know, that's paying it forward. Like at one point in my life, I was worried about, well, what am I going to do?

I mean, what's my impact going to be? Like as a failed comic. And you know, I was like, what's my impact going to be? Because I wasn't going to make. First off, you're not a failed comic, bro. You took a different path. Yeah, maybe. Ten years from now, you might be the executive producer of a show,

call them men on 8th. Sure. Come on down, cock sucker. Yeah, no, well, I did take a different route. And this is, I mean, this is, I love this, you know? I love being able to do this. It's to me, it's something, I'm not pulling anything on anybody. I'm doing people a service, you know?

And I love that, you know? It's hard to find a regular job where you're not compromising. How many days a week you work? You work five days a week. Four? Five days a week. You teach Friday? Yeah.

Do you really teach Friday? Yeah. And he does it? No. I take Thursday off, but then I also teach on Saturday. Okay, so you teach a beginning class on Friday? Yeah. I teach it, I teach Mondays and Wednesdays.

I have a day class at 11. And then on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, I have a 6.30 class. And on Fridays, I have a 7.30 class. And then on Saturdays, I have a 2.00 class. And do the guys roll in your class in the beginning? They don't have to because I have rolling days, like Wednesdays and Fridays, they can roll. But I separate the mat, and so half the mat's for rolling

and then half the mat's for instructional purposes. Because, you know, if you're not ready to roll, then you're not ready to roll. Like, what's the point of playing the game if you don't know how to play the game? So... You don't believe in throwing somebody out there the first couple of times?

If they want to. Okay. You know, that's what I did. I remember somebody holding me down the first night saying, hey, I'm not going to try to kill you. You know, because I was going, this is what white belts do. They go spastic, you know, and they're actually kind of dangerous because they're, you know, just swinging their limbs wildly.

And, you know, they could accidentally kill you. Kill you. Yeah, yeah, you know. I was thinking about this earlier when Joey's talking about starting. How do you, like, as a teacher, because when you're in school, everyone starts the season at the same time. How do you, as like a teacher, if you've had people for six months,

four months, and then a guy comes in first day, how do you break them in? Gently. Gently. All right. Now, what I do is I always, most of my curriculum revolves around Eddie's warm-up exercises. Eddie needs everybody to know a bunch of moot techniques

to be able to warm up in his class. That's how he warms up our classes. We just, like, drill certain techniques, certain sequences of techniques. And so I'm always- What was it today? I didn't see it today. I didn't see it today. Oh, yeah.

Today's was a quarter guard. Quarter guard. Quarter guard from what? Because there's, like, a thousand fucking things. I spoke to Scott about two months ago. I go, Scott, I'm going to drop in one of your classes. Just the warm-ups intimidated me so fucking much. I can't do that shit with you guys and doing without that.

Right. But I don't make you do all of those. I could actually only teach, like, one, one technique. You guys go, like, on quarter guard. We go pretty slow. Roll to fucking zombie land. Hold them down. John Jock sweep to the fucking mount.

Well, no. Like, a really simple one would be you're in quarter guard. You're in- And then so you're in quarter shell, which is keeping your arm down so they can't get an underhook. And then you use your knee to bump them forward. Then you have double unders. And then you just roll up on your knees.

That's pretty simple, really. But I would spend, probably, it's been, like, one class teaching, like, that, you to do that. I wouldn't be teaching, like, the entire warm-up series in one class. Like, I go pretty slow. Like, I break down because it's really a series of techniques and I break it down by each technique. And then I also, like, give context because, like you said,

there's some people who are brand new, but there's also people who have been with me for two years. And so I like giving context for each technique. So you can know, and here's kind of, like, where you'll be at. Here's how you're really going to end up in this position where you would use this move. So I'd show a technique that's related. Like, you might have been trying to escape from this

and ended up in another submission, something like that. It's very interesting how hot Ten Planet is right now. But it's basically because it's a good program. It's a good... Well, it's a great program, but it didn't hurt what happened this year with MetaMorris III. MetaMorris. I mean, it went crazy after that.

It was really intense. And that was just... I was there and it was amazing to see that happen. It was amazing to see that happen. I've been to all this a couple of times, and he has a back room. And I've been back there with Salami enrolled with the geek. But I've gone to two of all these no-geek classes and I'm just completely fucking lost.

Like, just completely fucking lost. That's the beginning one. It's something that I'm lost with the geese though. Like, I know a couple of aspects now. It's tough for me. I decided just like Tommy. When I got into comedy, I got into comedy in June of 1991. And I did one time in June.

I got on stage one time in July. I would get on stage once a month. I did that till about October. And I started getting on stage twice a month. And then I had some problems, drug problems, and shit. I went to New York and I was getting on stage once every two months. You know, I would tell people I was getting on stage every night, but I really wasn't.

And it wasn't until 94 where I'd go, that's it. I know what I have to do. Now I know. And I went full stage. I had an AR, you know, once I put my mind to it. So weird that I really enjoy going. You know, I really, really enjoy going to Jiu-Jitsu. With the baby, I have a time lap in the daytime.

My wife's working two days. If I have to leave on Thursday, they only have one class a week over here, which is Tuesday days. I have to go to class in the daytime. You know, I can't get something at night. I do this Monday and Wednesdays. Tuesday now, we usually have the podcast if I gotta leave on. So I really can't go to a class at night.

My shit is limited, you know. So now I have to go to Hollywood for meetings. I went on Groupon and I got a $10 thing, whatever. You know, that's the hot thing now, Groupon. And everybody's on it. Like my buddy, what a Cabrinha one. Cabrinha wants like $2.25 a month. My buddy got it, 10 visits for $40.

It's $4 on Groupon. So he goes, if I'm in Hollywood, I just drop in. He can, I'm over there on that side of town. I didn't even know there was a school over there. I thought it was Culver City, 10th planet. I didn't even know where he was at. I don't know where that fucking place is at. Einstein, he's hidden somewhere in Culver City.

Where is it? He's on La Cienega now. He's within Beverly Hills, Jiu Jitsu. That's where he's hidden now. Einstein. Is he? Yeah. He's still 10th planet, West LA.

But he's... West Beverly Hills, Jiu Jitsu. It's on La Cienega and something. You learn something, nor we fucking daily. Yes, you do. What I wanted to say to you, bro, is that you're an interesting fucking guy. I didn't know about the narcolepsy,

and that makes it even more interesting. But that gets out to the people, man. You could have 1,000 fucking things wrong with you. If you want to. You know, I'm sick and tired of fucking excuses from people. And if anybody should have an excuse, it was you and you didn't. Oh, well, you know, and you mentioned, like, I do look...

I'm not like the person that people... We're walking into that. Yeah, you're not bald. Right. No tattoos with a crucifix in your forehead. Right. So now everybody has this look. You never really had that look.

Yeah. And people think, well, some of the guys at the gym joke around and say that, you know, like I'm probably the most dangerous one, because no one would ever expect me to break something like that. You know, which is nice. I'm also probably the most likely... I just don't put myself in situations, you know?

I can't imagine. You know, it'd have to be somebody was doing something. Like attacking somebody. Oh, it'd have to be somebody was attacking somebody for me to actually jump in. Yeah. Yeah. Like I would never be...

I'm not getting into fights either. Either you're one of those people or you're not. Yeah. You know, people think that if you walk away from a fight, you're not a fucking tough guy. Let me tell you something. I've been in fights. I've gotten beaten up and I've walked away from 20 fights

and there's a way from one, especially on the street at night. You don't know what the bars, all that shit. You just ask them for trouble. Oh, yeah. I don't know what... You don't know what the person's going through. You don't know if he has a weapon. You know, you don't know if he's a black,

but you don't know what the fuck he is. You know what? That's too many question marks for me. Well, don't fuck home. The thing that bothers me more than anything else is like you could potentially kill somebody. Did you see the fucking angel? Did you see the San Francisco 49er game?

No. There's two guys in the bathroom. Again, got beat up. Did you see what happened in the angels game? Oh, yeah, I heard about that. Three guys with a 43-year-old guy. This could happen to you. I always told people I have a great fucking kick to the leg.

All I need is to kick you in the leg and punch you in the fucking face, and I go right to the car. There's no reason to jump up and down and call you a cunt and be a tough guy. I got one good kick. I know if I get you with that kick in the knee, you're going to need some...

You might beat me up, but you're going to go to the doctor tomorrow. At night, I usually go out, like, so I have work boots at the house, and I always say if I kick somebody with these, it's not going to be a good day for them. I'm going to break that fucking FEMA. I'll break that fucking FEMA bone.

This is a ham-hawk. Look at this fucking leg, and I don't have good stuff, but I got great fucking mule kicks, and all I need is one leg kick, and you need that. You need something out there just to run. All it is to kick you,

you to hold your chin and go, ah! I'm like, dig van dyke, and I'm running. I'm running to the fucking car. You got to have something in your car for protection, a pipe, a hanger, finally, man. There's a lot of fucking bad people out there. There are.

So are, but Jesus... All you could pray is that you're a good person. Before I leave the house, I look up and I go, the same spirit or whatever that protects me, help protects my family, my friends today. Somebody don't come up. What comes up to the car and smacks you?

You don't know. You listen. You're in the car with your fucking music, and you listen to a podcast. Some fucking ISIS could come right up to you and stab you in the fucking neck right there. You never fucking know. Let me give some shout-outs here real quick.

Mel Pryor from New Zealand. You bad motherfucker. James Redshaw. Brandy Lynn. I'm looking for you this week. Don't fuck around. Russ Sadigou. Whatever your fucking name is.

John Wolfe. Josh Thompson. And Frank Nielsen. I love you, cocksuckers. What's up with you? What are you doing in your mind, man? Oh, shit. We forgot about some little Tony Benafir.

He fucked up the national anthem. He's 150 years old. We didn't mention the, uh... We're not going nowhere. Okay. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Two.

Pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart. Are you kidding me? Oh, what? Break out the heroin, cocksuckers. It's a new week. What do you want to do? You want to be a fucking follower and have that bushy mustache?

I see that fucking bushy mustache on guys. I'm going to beat somebody up. You know that jerk off on that TV show had the bushy mustache. What's his name? Parks and Rec. You know, you like him. What's his name?

I don't know what his name is. He's a funny guy. That bush... Yeah, that character's funny. In 10 years, when you're sucking dick, that's the bush that's going to tickle ISIS's dick. You fucking, fucking half of fruits with your little fake glasses and your mustache.

Everybody's got the old man glasses now with the fake mustache that hangs over the lip. So when you get ready to suck some Arab terrorist dick, that's the bush. What do they call that? The shag. That's a cock shag. You fucking idiots, god.

Be yourself. Stop being a fucking sheep all your life. That's the reason why there's fucking ISIS and these terrorists. You're the first ones that are going to be sucking dick in 10 years. You fucking copycat motherfuckers. Have an identity. Be a fucking man. These fucking assholes.

I go out to Hollywood, to do comedy. I see 10 guys in a circle. Four of them had the exact same look. And I looked at them with the old man glasses, like they're old. They're fucking 20. They're old man. And now they have the bushy mustache.

They're licking it like a fucking... And then four of them are standing like, your mustache is so cool. Really? Your mustache is so cool. Are you fucking kidding me? No. One of the ISIS is setting up.

Remember when we... In 10 years, Russians will be fucking in the ass, too. You fucking followers. Remember when we went to the comedy store and the newspaper stand had the Sinatra hats. All like... Oh, Jesus Christ. Just in case.

I got to put up... What do they call those Sinatra hats? What do you call them? I don't know. There's a name for them. Fedora? Fedora. Yeah, everybody's got a Fedora now.

Some skinny guy with fucking no sleeves on his shirt with tattoos of a Doron. I'm fucking impressed. Get the fuck out of here. Tell these people what you're pushing, my son. So there's a Joey Karate rash guard. That's right. I saw it the other day.

It's a beautiful fucking thing. It is. It is. They did a great job with it. And owed to the Joey Karate character from the 10th Planet push. Joey Jujitsu is making a fucking comeback now. He's gonna survive a little something soon.

Is there a website they can get in there? You know what? We don't actually have a website that it's on. What we're doing is... This is like the pre-order week. A lot of... I know a lot of the people that are in the 10th Planet community listening to your podcast.

And you can... It's up on the 10th Planet... 10th Planet... Oh, yeah. The 10th Planet Rash Guards Group on Facebook. Or on the forums. You can contact me. And I'm the one who runs the Rash Guard Group.

And then it's just like we're doing the pre-orders up till this Friday. So the way the pre-orders work is that people pay for the Rash Guard in advance. The designs are up on the Facebook Group. Or they'll be on the Nightbrew Forum. I can't say that right now. Anyway, the 10th Planet...

The 10th Planet website, the forums. And you can see it there. We have it in short sleeve or long sleeve. What's the biggest size? XXL. Two sizes? That's it? Yeah, two X's. And I don't choke me the fuck out of it.

No, no, actually I think it will affect you. I put a 10th Planet... I guess they all have the big size. I put it on one night. My wife was sleeping. I was choking to death and I couldn't get off. It was stuck to me. It was the worst fuck I feel in the world.

I'll tell you what happened though. And I'm not plugging this shit. I'm just telling you what happened. Meundee sent us a bunch of shit. And today I didn't have my two jujitsu shirts. So I took a Meundee shirt. Fucking amazing. Really?

Did I give you Meundee's T-shirt? No, you gave me the pants. Which are nice. Are your balls cool when I give you T-shirts? Oh, well, it's not the... It's not the box. It's just like the shorts. Jim Swift put the very soft.

Did you put them on yet? Hell yeah. Do you look hot? I always look hot. Fuckin' cock sucker. Let me give a shout out to some sponsors. We'll get you out of here. On it!

I love you motherfuckers. Always optimizing. Making us better. Whether you got Alpha Brain. Whether you got New Mood. Whether you got Shroom Tech. Whether you got Strong Bone. Which has helped me with my recovery and my knee.

On it is there for you. Go to On It. Go to the box and press in. Church. Church. C-H-U-R-C-H. Why fuck around? Be the best then you could be. Like the Foo Fighters in 2005.

The best of you. Why fuck around like a fucking Momo. And take something that don't work for you. Go to On It today. They also have other type of products there. Like a fucking vest. And you could jump up higher and all that type of shit. And the kettle bells.

They got great stuff man. I go on for hours. Let's give a shout out to my main bitches. I love these people. Hulu Plus. I get more compliments on Hulu Plus. I mean you know what man? I got a great group of sponsors.

But Hulu Plus is the best. Hulu is so much more. You can watch shows. Guess what? On your schedule bitch. You don't have to watch them. Some fucking other moog schedule. Hulu has current season episodes of your favorite show.

What do they got? Who put fucking Shark Tank on Friday? That's a good show. That should be like Tuesday. Night and night on Hulu Plus. Listen, I don't know what to tell you. Just watch Hulu Plus. It works on your computer.

Smart TV, Roku, Apple TV, Xbox. Pretty much any streaming device that you have. All right. But here's the beauty. $7.99 a month. That's right. $7.99 a month. You get shows anytime, anywhere.

Right now I'm offering the fucking listeners. Two weeks for free. Two weeks for free. $7.99 later. Who gives you that type of fucking action, cock-suckers? Enough with the bullshit. Hot wives. Parody of the real hot.

They got everything on there. Fucking cosmos, a space odyssey, South Park. Keeping up with the Kardashians. The bridge. American dad, community. This is the shit I watch. You understand me? General Hospital.

Park some recreation so I can punch that dude with the mustache. Right in the fucking tank. They got good show. They had two really good tough fucking episodes this week. SpongeBob SquarePants. You got rap and invasion. You got breadwinners. You got all this shit.

My daughter don't watch. But she's got to start watching this shit. Sam and Cat. That show got canceled. But I still like it. It's a two fucking little hookah chick. What's the name? I don't even know.

Go to whonewplus.com right now. And press in. Joey. In the fucking box. Get two weeks for free on the on. And then $7.99 a month. Who's better than me? Nobody, cock-sucker.

Let me tell you something else. All right? We're giving away something for free. Whether it's nature. Everybody's always giving away something for free. It doesn't end right here. Dollar Shave Club. That's what I told you.

Fuck them razors. What do you want to stand on line like a fucking communist for? Is that what you need to stand on line at the store? $20 a month if you pay for razors. You know what that comes out to a year? $2.40. That means you're spending $2.40. Fuck that.

I'm cutting your razor costs right in half. $6 a week. Two fucking double blades. $6 a month. I'm sorry. Thank God the Jew's here. And he corrected me. $6 a week.

It might throw him off. That's $24 a month. He won't be getting fucking cheeseburgers for two years. Panicking. So don't worry. There's nothing worse than buying razors. You got traffic. You got to sit in traffic at the fucking store.

You got to come up with your points card. No, don't do that shit no more. Go to Dollar Shave Club right now for a few bucks a month. Dollar Shave Club delivers fucking razors right to your door. That's right. You don't have to leave the house. No more standing on line. No more getting on the bus.

I got a rusty razor. My wife shaves her pussy with it. You don't need that shit no more. Stop trudging to the store to pay for over fucking price razors. Call, call. Join Dollar Shave Club today slash church. That's Dollar Shave Club. Go to the box.

Go to either joeideas.net or go to the dollarshaveclub.com webpage and slash in church. All right. In the fucking box. All right. You're going to get razors sent to your house. You don't have to leave no way. Plus I'm going to save you.

Don't rate me. That's the main thing. I'm saving you. Don't rate me $1, $6 or $9 a month plus for free today. Go to Dollar Shave Club right now and they'll deliver this fucking moisturizer free sample. Dr. Karout's tremendous. I put it on the screen.

Oh, the doctor covers shaving butt, right? Go fucking get it for free right now. Get the razors, $1, $6, $9 and then get Dr. Karout things. Then to my all time favorite, Hiddie Six. They ain't fucking around. Whether you want a cigar, whether you want a cigar, a cigarette that tastes like raspberries or some chick. I don't fucking know.

Go to HiddieSix.com. Cigars taste great. Mm, mm, mm, mm. Edward Garber ain't fucking around. Go to HiddieSix.com. You want to quit smoking? I got 0, 16, 24, 8 milligram. You could quit on your own fucking pace.

You don't got to smoke. Your fingers don't smell like your finger bang the crack hole. You could be free of that shit. Fuck that Dracula on TV with his blue cigarettes. Fuck that punk. Go to HiddieSix.com and get yourself a 20% off to hits it. Let me tell you something. They last long and they taste a lot better.

You go to one of these stores. You buy this thing for 10 bucks. You puff, you puff. 10 fucking minutes of things out. This thing I've been puffing on this for fucking three weeks. 1,200 hits guaranteed. Longer lasting and they taste better. Am I bullshitting you?

You're not bullshitting. Go to fucking HiddieSix.com and press what? Joey's Church. Oh shit. End the box and get 20% off your first order and they deliver it to your house, right? Right to your house. Got to pay for delivery.

I think it was only like a dollar when I did it. That's a dollar. That ain't going to do dick for you. You know what I'm saying? It might have even been free. Free. What's free? Nothing's free.

Some stuff is free. It's fucking free. They'll send you Dr. Karoo. We send them Nature's Box? We send them the $1 shave club? Everybody's giving me something. Everyone's got something for free. Listen, when I negotiate for you people,

I always get you something for free. I don't fuck around. I want you people to hang out. You know I love you. Scott Rush, tell me something good. Talks like you're sitting there. You're stoned to the guilt. I got this fucking dunce over here.

What's going on? How was Gerard Carmichael special? I watched the beginning of it. You know what? The first six minutes of it. I've never seen him before. I saw he was on Conan the other night. I heard he's a sweet fucking kid.

I saw him once at the store. And he's not like, it's not like, it's not super laugh out loud funny. It's like he's, I've had a good interview with him and it was just he's saying some stuff that is going to get people a little bit, not upset. He's not being a douche about it.

He's not like Bill Hicks. Not saying he's a douche, but he's more confrontational. He's just like mentioning it. Like he was talking a lot about growing up in the ghetto or the poor area of town. And Paula was like really connecting with it. I don't know.

And then despite Lee did it, and there's just so many things I dislike about other mainstream specials right now. And I'm not saying it was perfect, but it was one of the better ones I'd seen. I haven't saved at the house. So I'll watch. What else is going on?

Have you seen Mr. Pickles? No. What is Mr. Pickles? It's a cartoon on Adult Swarm Network. It's about a satanic dog. And so it's like lassie, but the reverse. That sounds terrible right now.

That's so scary. In the pilot episode, the dog chops up a stripper, and then uses the legs, stripper's legs for stilts, and goes and does a little strip show. Listen, dog, I'm trying to get these people off the fucking couch and not watching cartoons.

I love you to death. I don't believe in adults fucking watching cartoons or on skateboards. It gets me very fucking upset. You understand? You weren't doing some cartoons earlier than I was. I was watching cartoons with my daughter because she's two fucking years old.

That's a big difference, all right? Fuck off. It's not like staying at home and putting your feet up to watch a fucking cartoon. You know, I love you, Scott. No disrespect. Don't talk about cartoons on the fucking show. A better idea then would probably be

to come down to our gym. That's right. Tap out. I don't give a fuck. Go down. I saw a 20-year-old on a skateboard the other night, and it got me really sad because that's the kid that's going to be sucking ISIS's dick in five years.

When I was 20 on Saturday night, I was eating some chick's pussy, mugging somebody, robbing somebody. I was doing something positive. You understand me? I'm on a fucking skateboard riding down a fucking street with a pizza. I'm like,

Get the fuck home. Get the fuck. No cartoons, Scott Russ. I don't like cartoons for adults. If you're over 20, no cartoons and no fucking skateboards. I'll hit you in the fucking head with it. Anyway, anything else on the table? Ankle locks.

What? I love ankle locks. I don't because I got to touch your foot. You know? Well, once you learned how to do an ankle lock, you'd be surprised at how many people there are in the world that really want you to fuck up their ankle. It's just like every time somebody gives you grief,

you just, oh, mother fucker. So you just grab their arm, twist it. You're just thinking, that's the ankle I'm grabbing tonight. It's just when I'm visualizing, when I'm trying to finish it. That's the ambulance. It's emotional release. What are you doing on the ambulance, man?

Everything all right with you? Everything's okay. No, I was... No tonight. No, no, I said, I said a reminder for when I get home to come and eat. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, listen to that fucking thing.

I've fallen noblies around. What do you got at the house to eat? Tons. Like what? Got a pepperoni, got some nice smoked turkey breast one yesterday. What else you got? Some chicken.

I got some turkey burgers. I got tons of food. Okay. And you can eat. No, no, I can't. How many calories you got there? Like 600, but it's too late. What's 600?

Because we had a late breakfast and I had dinner late. Sure, you had a nice fucking weekend. Where'd you go for breakfast tonight? Just Western bagel. Western bagel, nice. They have some alternative bagels that are only 120 calories. Oh my, well, they taste like... No, they're good.

They're just small. Like a fucking ISIS's ass. No, they're good. They're just small. Yeah, yeah, they're just fucking small. You're killing me, though. You're a Jew. That's your fucking national fucking vegetable.

I had a good sesame bagel today, too. You did? Yeah, Paul got the small. I got the sesame bagel. And you put locks on that mouth? No, I had a bad experience the last week with locks, so I'm going to just play with these. Because you keep going to these wholesale fucking cheap places.

No, it's a place I had been going for months, a good bagel place. Right, yeah, yeah. Over on Woman. What's the name of it? Well, it used to be like New York Bagel. Right, when was it? But someone sold it.

Right, in the Korean. No, no, no, they're stupid white girls. Like this terrible blonde girl who ruined the restaurant. It's just like she's caring more about what kind of crepes they have and the food has some... Well, you must like it. You like it. No, no, that's why we went to Western now.

But fuck. What happened with the crepes? I thought you liked crepes. I did a crepe class one time when you ate the motherfucking crepes. I didn't. I'm not going to eat fucking crepes. Tough guys don't eat fucking crepes.

You ate about them. Because I was stoned and you brought it and gave me a cheese one in front of your girl and I had a fucking eat it. No, but anyway, I was thinking about it. What were you thinking about? So much. But even though some of the stuff you do is kind of weird,

you're going to, like you have certain ways you think people should live their life. And I know you're going to be not a mean parent, but like a strict parent. And like when I was leaving the elevator today, as the doors open, these family of two, one boy, one girl was there and the boy just rushed in before I got out.

And like I had like a flashback. Like if it was my mom or my dad that would pull me back and said, no, you wait for them. Like really corrected them and like made people polite. People don't do that. And it just, it was... And the mom just did nothing.

And I was like, that's kind of, that's crazy. And then fucking walking down from the elliptical place of the gym, these girls were texting and walking up the stairs. And right before she would have walked in to me, I just said, excuse me. And she looked at me like, I did something wrong to her.

I'm like, what? And I just think about like how you're going to, like, I don't say mercy to hang out like that. No, respect. You got to respect people. And you got to have your kids respect people. And I was thinking about it the other day, how you got to fucking make them say,

mister and just little things. They're not doing that no more. And that's why these fucking 20 years, we're going to have a fucking mess on our hands. Because you can't. Like I read yesterday that a team mascot, did you read about that? The NFL put a job.

The Jaguars? That said... These towels have a bowl or something? These towels have a bowl and people got mad. They do. You got to start thinking like that now. You got to wash, if you washed your hands before, you better start washing fucking 20.

Don't touch planes. My wife was telling me today that 40% of, there's 40% fecal matter on ampere. Port water. That shit that you wash your hands with? Oh, on a plane? On the plane and shit? Oh, God.

Yeah. So she bought me like this fucking stuff with my hands and what the white to counter with. And you have to. That's all over people. That's it. You think Chinese people are walking with those masks because they blow fire?

It's fucked no. They already got hit with this shit. Besides that, I love you, motherfucker. Scott Ross. I love you. Don't forget to order the... The Rascals. The Rascals.

The Rascals. The Rascals. The Rascals. The Rascals. The Rascals. The Rascals. The Rascals. The Rascals.

Thank you very much for doing what you're doing. You're an interesting cocksucker. Don't forget to check them out at HQ. He teaches the beginners. If you have any questions, reach out to him on Facebook. He'll help you. He's a great guy. All right, Scott Ross at TimPlanetJJ.com.

Scott Ross at TimPlanetJJ.com. Sorry, like a fucking echo. Like you need it right now. What's your problem, fucko? I don't got a problem. All right. Everything all right with you. I love you, cocksuckers.

Have a great week. We'll see you in two days or tomorrow night. I haven't decided yet. We'll be back. Stay black. I love you. It's a surprise when it happens. Go ahead.

Now that the show's over, guys, don't forget to sign up for your free trial of Hulu Plus. Right now. Hulu Plus lets you binge on thousands of hit shows, anytime, anywhere on your TV, PC, smartphone, or tablet. Support this podcast and get an extended free trial, two weeks free of Hulu Plus. When you go to huluplus.com.

slash joey or go to joeyds.net and click on the Hulu Plus banner. And don't forget to sign up for dollarshaveclub.com. Get a high quality razor sentient door every month for a fraction of what you pay at retail. And now, they're giving you a free trial of Dr. Carver Shave Butter, which is really great. Joe, he says it's better than a shaving cream. Go to dollarshaveclub.com forward slash church,

or go to joeyds.net and click on the Dollar Shave Club banner. And you don't have to type in anything. Also, go to onnet.com and use code word church to get 10% off of any of their great products. Alpha brand, new mood, shroom tech, immune, shroom tech sport. They'll send it to your house. They'll do everything for you. Onnet.com, code word church.

And go to hitesigs.com. That's hitesigs.com. It's better tasting, longer lasting. The proof is in the vape. They have e-cigarettes, e-cigars. They're great guys. If you went to Joey's shows in New York, they were giving away tickets.

They're really great guys. Go to hitesigs.com and you use code word Joey's church for 20% off. Stay black. Little Eric Clapton for you, motherfuckers. I did not shoot the dead man tomorrow. I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot the dead man tomorrow. All around in my home, they're trying to track me down. They say they want to bring me guilty for the killing of a deputy,

for the life of a deputy. But I say. I shot the sheriff, but I swear it was in sharpie face. I shot the sheriff, and they say it is a captain of things. But John Brown always hated me for what I don't know. Every time that I climb a seat, he said, kill it before it goes. He said, kill it before it goes. I said.

I shot the sheriff, but I swear it was in sharpie face. I shot the sheriff, but I swear it was in sharpie face. Freedom came my way one day, and I started out down there. All of a sudden, I see sheriff John Brown. They've been disusing me down, so I shot, I shot him down. I shot the sheriff. I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy. I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.

Reflex has got the better of me than what is to be must be. Every day the bucket goes to the wheel. One day the bottom will drop out. Yes, one day the bottom will drop out. I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy. I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy. Thank you for watching.