Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #229 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

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Let's get this party started. Monday morning, I got shit to do. I got shit to do. What's happening, you bad motherfuckers? Uncle Joey here for another fun filled Monday morning motivation fucking podcast. That's a lot of words just to get started in this motherfucker. Everything's beautiful. It's February 5th fucking the penguins have finally showed up in New Jersey.

You know, I love, I just love people how fucking dumb we are. You know, a fighter wins a fight and he's back. You know, I remember it was, there was two games during football season. There were two games that just passed and Dallas had won that Sunday. And I was at the gym Monday and they're already like, is the Dallas Cowboys a Super Bowl contender? Why are we talking about this because they won one game? We are so impressed with the dumbest shit as Americans. Listen, I grew up on the East Coast and I know one thing for sure.

We're going to get a hundred inches of snow when that's going to come. Nobody knows, but it's coming. Do you know what I'm saying? Like I already saw people. It was like 62 days last week and people like, oh fucking Indian this, the stars. Relax, cocksucker. February is coming. And what happened on fucking Thursday?

It dropped to five. I went to Pennsylvania. It was five degrees and 10 with the fucking windshield. Okay. Where's everybody with that bikini now with the Indian summers? Fucking retarded. Now it's going to warm up again and they're already jumping up and down again. Oh, by Wednesday it's going to be 60.

Bitch. February 19th is around the corner. And let me tell you something I know for a fact. I don't know much about global warming. I don't know what the fuck's going on with the climate. I don't know about Greta Thunberg. I have no fucking idea of the balloons from China. What the fuck?

All I do know is that every year when I was growing up, there was always snow on the ground February 19th, except two years ago. There wasn't snow here. But times are changing. But it's still going to fucking be colder than a motherfucker. So before you bust out your little bikini, look at Texas. Texas was freezing last fucking week. They had to cancel one of the basketball games because the fucking team couldn't get out of there. When a team can't get out of the city, what does that fucking tell you?

Shit's fucking gone wild in that motherfucker. But that's it. It's February. I'm excited. I'm done with residency until fucking God knows when. We're just working on the book now. And hopefully that'll make a splash when it comes out April 23rd. But I want to talk about this week.

Every week you get thrown so much fucking news. Like every week you start on Monday and it's shit that you don't expect. Governor Santos, this, that, and it's shit that when you think about it, it doesn't matter to you at all. That's why I kind of gave up. I'm not good with Karen offense because Karen of affairs because it just doesn't matter no more. Every week is more and more bullshit. And if you go into it, you know, Tim Allen showing his dick fucking.

Now I got to listen to fucking Baywatch all week. I don't want to, you know, so you just avoid all that shit. I didn't see the documentary. I tried to put it on for three minutes and I can't watch this shit. And I like Pamela, Pamela Anderson. I think we've all whacked off to a one point our lives. I remember I was in County Jail in Seattle banging them out to a picture of Pamela Anderson. But what the fuck?

We're just being honest on a Monday morning. But the news that struck me weird this week and only one of the person called me with it and said, this is fucked up. Was Ozzy Osbourne. I don't know if you guys realize what that meant with Ozzy Osbourne saying I can't do it no more. It's the beginning of the end. It's the beginning of the end, you know, and guys, you know, I love Ozzy Osbourne over the years. You, you grow up and you fucking get into this and you get into this and this and this, but like you lose a lot of shit. You ever put on our mom when you were a kid and you really wanted to work, but you're like, this just doesn't work in my life anymore.

I don't know. I could. Yeah, we just grow up out of some music. Some music stays with you forever. Some music. I get pissed off and I still listen to like Joey, what the fuck grow the fuck up, you know, listen to something different. And I try, you know, but taste change might taste have never changed with Ozzy Osbourne. Like when I'm driving and I hear an old Ozzy song or a Black Sabbath song, it's just like listen to Crazy Train or whatever.

But there's some other jams in there in between Ozzy's Boneyard plays that it stops me sometimes, you know, because 20 years ago when I was growing up, they wouldn't play fucking Black Sabbath on the radio at all, at all, not even war pigs than Ozzy's. But I think Ozzy started that fucking station. Nobody played as goddamn music, grew up. You would never hear any fucking Black Sabbath on the radio. But it's funny how, you know, guys, I saw this comedy boom grow and I saw the reaction that people, young adults, you know, adults of all ages responded to the podcast, which created a different type of admiration from people. Now it made it simpler for you to like him or not like him.

When I was growing up and I'd watch, I don't know, some fucking comedian, Freddie Prince. I knew he was Puerto Rican. I knew he was from the Bronx, but I didn't know he played with guns. I didn't know he did blow. I didn't know he was going through all that. If he had a podcast, we would have known and things would have been different. Richard Pryor, you know, because what the podcast opened up was how we feel about things, opinions. We open up some podcasters, open up their family. When I first started doing the podcast, I gotta tell you this, I don't know, like maybe two years into the church podcast, a kid moved from like, I don't know, some other state to California. He wanted to hook up with me and I was like, dog, what do you want to talk about?

He wanted, he was aspiring to be a comedian. I go, listen, I'm at the store right now. You know, I'm at the fucking, I'm not hard to find. I'm at the store. He's like, no, no, no, no, I want to see you in North Hollywood in the daytime. You know, I'm fucking busy. I got the kid, I got the podcast. I'm doing stupid shit. I'm going to fucking meetings to sell a show. When I lived there, my schedule was all over the fucking place. So I said, just go to a fucking store. No, I would go to a weed store and they'd say some guy was here for an hour waiting for you.

And I'd go to a fucking, oh my God, there was places I could just go and he would just leave. Some guy was here waiting for you. He thinks you come over here, you eat Mexican all the time. This happened at like three or four places. Meanwhile, I'm corresponding with the guy. The guy is basically living a mile from me in North Hollywood. I'm corresponding with him. And every fucking day is like, and then one day he just went off on me.

I don't want to go to a fucking store. You know, I don't like audiences. What are we talking about here? He went off on me, you know. And then he wrote me like a touching note. He goes, you don't understand. I don't want nothing from you. This is the beginning of the podcast. Boom, guys. And all of a sudden people knocking on your door and people sending you emails that, you know,

we didn't know what, you know, we came from a fucking stand-up comedy where nobody talked to you. I did a million shows and not one person ever came up to me and said, hey, great show. Or, you know, you're going to be a star or nothing. Nobody ever talked to me. Now everybody wanted to talk to you. So you're like, what the fuck is going on? So I didn't know how to react to this kid. I'll never forget that he wrote me this fucking note.

It is embarrassing, but I'll tell you guys and because this is how I related at the time. He goes, you know, I just really wanted to meet you and stuff. And I thought about his story and I go, listen, bro, if you would have said that in the beginning, I thought you wanted to talk about stand-up comedy. I didn't know what the fuck you want to talk about. And he's like, you know, he just wrote a bunch of flattering stuff. You know, I was like, what the fuck is this? What a podcast does.

And I finally said, I wrote him a note and I go, listen, we can hook up tomorrow. At such and such time, I didn't know that I go, I get what you're saying to me. I go, you lost a parent. He was in the same position as me. He lost a parent and I spoke about losing a parent and he connected and I go, you know, it's sort of like when I was a kid, how I connected with Ozzy Osbourne for some reason. I don't know. I connected with Ozzy when I saw him on stage and then I went home and listened to him.

I went back to that story, but I get it. I get it. And he wrote back, you ain't no Ozzy Osbourne. Like I didn't paraphrase it like I was Ozzy. I go, now I understand where you're coming from. You're relating to me because of the death or something like that. And that's, you know, I was a kid. I was into the doors.

I was into Ted Nugent and it took me a long time to get into that music because they had long hair. And I was scared of people with long hair at the time. I was a young Cuban Catholic and, you know, and if I did like him, I would fucking not say nothing to anybody. And then Zeppelin came into my life when I was like, you know, I'm out there playing basketball at 10 and I'm hearing black dog. When you hear black dog, when you're 10 years old in the summer, when you're drinking an orange drink, you're like, what the fuck? Even put on black dog today. And you're like, what is this? But hold on.

Let me paraphrase. Let me fucking get one of those goggles and transport yourself to 1973 when this song came out. You had never heard anything like that. You know, you knew he was trying to get his dick sucked in the song. You know, you just knew as a 10 year old, you're like an excited you. I love Led Zeppelin, but I never got, you know, I don't know. I don't know what happened. All I know is I had Zeppelin too.

I had a couple of yes albums. You know, I liked fragile. I like yes over the edge. I had the doors. I had the song remains the same. I had Led Zeppelin too. Led Zeppelin three and I had presence. You know, I was just getting my shit going.

You know what I'm saying? I had double live guns. Oh, I had cat scratch fever at Hotel California. You know, 1975 is what you had in your house. I like the Eagles. I fucking love the Eagles. I like the one of these nights. I think it's a tremendous jam.

And then that album was followed by Hotel California. So I kind of like the Eagles. And one day I met the fucking courts or whatever. And I hear, you know, the beginning to war pay. You know, and I tell you, when you hear war pigs for the first time, once they get into the guitar, you want to lose your fucking mind. Like you run to the record store. You know what I'm saying?

I don't know. There's something about war pigs. You know, there's something about fucking war pigs. And then you bring the album home and it's electric funeral. That's a little fucking scary. Some guy electric funeral. You're like, what the fuck? You know, you know, electric funeral.

What am I getting electrocuted tonight? You got fucking my favorite song in the house is what you're going to do. Times caught up with you. That's as real as it gets at that age. I like the stones. I'd get your yas, yas out. I'd miss you. No, I didn't.

I think I did. It's only rock and roll at that time. Miss you didn't come up till 78 or something like that. And I don't know. Maybe in the eighth grade, I heard black Sabbath on the courts. And I was like, this is pretty fucking good, but I'm a Catholic. You know what I'm saying? He's over there talking about Satan spreading his wings.

It's okay till Satan spread his motherfucking wings. Okay. Then it was all over. And then I started smoking pot and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I don't know. I heard it again and I borrowed it from somebody. I think maybe Steve Avillo, one of my friends Avillo from the past masters, I borrowed it. And when I heard paranoid after fucking war pigs and I heard all that music, I was like,

this is fucking pretty good, but I'm still into the Eagles. I'm still into Zeppelin. I'm going to keep these motherfuckers in the back burner. You know what I'm saying? This is still a little out there for me. And then I get the freshman year and I don't know. They're bullshitting about something on the bus. They're going to go see Black Sabbath.

And I go, yeah, I kind of like them. You know, I mean, at that age, I didn't know their whole fucking, I liked war pigs and I like paranoid. And I said, fuck it. And me and some people from downtown till this day, I know who I saw there at the concert. The garden was filled with fucking North African people. But I'm still to this day. I forget who the fuck I walked into that place with. The rumor was you had to get there early because the warm-up band was going to be tremendous.

The warm-up band was Van Halen. And fucking, you know, I walked in there. Guys, I didn't know shit. I had been to one concert before that. It was maybe Ted Nugent with Aerosmith at the Metallands outside. It was like one of those all day concerts. Fucking Aerosmith busted their guitars. It was not, you know, we walked home.

When I walked in there, first of all, the electricity from Van Halen. And I didn't know where the Van Halen was. I could sit here and tell you I was ready. I knew eruption. I didn't know dick. So think about how I felt when I saw fucking eruption up there. We maybe smoked a few joints. I don't know if I did acid or anything at that point.

I was still a little half a fag. I still had to put vizine in my eyes when I went home and cologne. And I don't know what I did, but I remember that Black Sabbath came on. And I didn't know what sounded good and what didn't sound good. I just knew that some of their instruments were off. Like I could hear like guitars, strings popping and, you know, it just wasn't. And I could see the drum was snorting coke. Bill Ward was snorting coke from the snare drum.

Right on that. Not that snare drum. But and I was like, wow, this is fucking great. So we left that show and the next day I went to the North Bergen and on the way home, I would walk on Bergen line and pick up the album of the week. And I picked up fucking paranoid and lights out guys lights out when he was talking about. I fucking liked. I didn't know what he was talking about. I know at the one jam.

I like it's about heroin. And, you know, I didn't know anything else about them at the time. It was maybe October of 78. I think they did October 18th or something like that. Check it out. I don't know. And then I bought the second album I bought because I want, I said, fuck it. I like this band. I'm not going to do what I did with the rest of my album career.

I'm going to start from scratch, you know, because like with the stones, I started with like it's only rock and roll, get your eyes out. The way to do it is from the fucking beginning. And then I didn't like the early stones. I didn't catch on till I mean, I like it. You know, 19 nervous breakdown, all that shit. But you know what I mean? I like that the fucking like goat's head soup and all that when they got down and dirty.

When I put when I put that black Sabbath out. When I heard the first song black Sabbath black Sabbath, I turned that motherfucker off. I turned that motherfucker off. I was like, this ain't from call Joey. What is this that stands before me figure in black pointing at me? This is not going to work in my world. And I think I moved on to the wizard because the wizard was kind of a popular song and everybody in your neighborhood wanted to be a fucking wizard. You know, so the wizard was it.

And I guess that was my I liked the album. And then I said, fuck it. Let me put on black Sabbath black Sabbath. And then I just I was like, OK, and that was by the summer. I had rented a house down the shore with two of my buddies and two girl, three girls from high school. We weren't dating them. They were next door to us and we rented this house and I bought that fucking black Sabbath black Sabbath on eight track. And I still remember the fucking player I had as the first eight track player I had that I put Pink Floyd dark side of the moon, which was the first time I ever tripped on.

But that's a complete different fucking story. When I came back from down the shore, I was all in on black Sabbath the first time and I was all in on paranoid. So I said, what's my next logical move? I don't know. I didn't even know there was no internet. It was Nike. You couldn't Wikipedia what the name of their albums were and alphabetical order or whatever, how they came out. And I didn't feel like fucking asking people because people in my town will go, what the fuck are you talking about?

Don't you have all their albums? Where are you a pussy? What are you listening to fucking Abba? And I'm like, you know, okay, so I had to figure it out on my own and I didn't know the ass. And one day I went to that same fucking album place and I bought fucking sabotage and I brought that motherfucker home and it just opened me the fuck up. Ozzy was tremendous. The lyrics were great. They have an acoustic part on fucking symptom of the universe.

It's just a great out. Megamania, the thrill of it all, the writ is fucking scary as fuck. Am I going insane? And I was all in motherfuckers. I was like, wow, this is fucking deep. And then I went back and I bought Never Say Die. Again, I went out of order again and I bought the last album. And when I fucking listened to Never Say Die, I was all in.

Like that's my new slogan, Never Say Die. I was fucking 14, 15. I was very, I was looking. I didn't have a father figure. So I was looking, you know what I'm saying? I'm not saying Ozzy was my father figure, but I'm just saying that this album just blew me the fuck apart. And then something happened. I got into Never Say Die.

Junior's Eyes, you know, Johnny Blade fucking, that album has a lot of good songs on it. But at the same time, I was putting on different things every fucking day. And then the next album, what was the one that put me over the fucking top? Sabot Bloody Sabot. That song just took me from point A to fucking point B. Something about Sabot Bloody Sabot. It was describing what I was going through at the time. I don't know.

It was all going on inside of me. I didn't want to live at home. Who the fuck knows? But I don't know. It got to me this time. And then my mother died. And when my mother died, the albums I had on it, that I was listening to all the time was The Last Led Zeppelin. And the car is candy-o.

That was the little rotation I had at that time. And Sabot Bloody Sabot. And then when my mother died, when I went home, I didn't want to put that fucking double music on. I was like, I'm going to stay away from this double music on. I moved in with the benders. And about two months later, I started listening to Sabot again. And I was fucked up by that. So now it just gripped me, guys.

It gripped me in a way that it was all I was living for. Black Sabot was basically keeping me the fuck alive as stupid as this fucking sounds. As stupid as this sounds. And one day, I was walking with Louis Castellito, a couple of us. It was cold out. It was about the end of January. And I walked into a magazine place. And Cream Magazine was there.

Cream was like Rolling Stones and Answer to Heavy Metal. And the fucking next thing you know, I open up the thing and it's official. Black Sabot broke up. And I'm like, fuck. I really wanted them to see him again. Because I had seen him, but I wasn't prepared. And I really liked him. I really liked what they were doing.

And they broke up. And guys, I was like heartbroken, like a fucking child. I was really fucking heartbroken. And I went that year before my birthday. I went, and I went up to this bar on 22nd in New York Avenue. It used to be a cross from the county morgue there. It's a funeral parlor. That's what they take you when you died.

And they'd disperse you to either venerys or macagna or whatever. There used to be a bar there. We used to get THC crystal in that motherfucker, AKA Angel Dust. On Tuesday nights, they had an Angel Dust happy hour. I will never fucking forget that. And I went down there with a bunch of sabbages. And we bought like two tens of Angel Dust, which we call crystal. And I'll never forget, I did two lines.

I wasn't even living at home. I was living with the benders. And they weren't home. And I remember going in, putting Mastery Alley on. That's the name of the album. The third album. Putting it on. And for some reason, I was going through the channels and the exorcist was on.

Meanwhile, I'm tripping on fucking Angel Dust. And I'm looking at fucking the exorcist and I'm hearing black sabbath in the back. Have you ever thought about your soul? Can it be saved? You know, the Pope dead on a rope and all this shit. And I'm like, fuck this album. The only thing I liked off of three was Sweet Leaf. I was like, I ain't listening to this fucking devil.

And I like tomorrow's dream, I think is on three. But no, tomorrow's dream is on volume four. I said, fuck this shit. I ain't putting this shit back on. This is too dark for me. I'll keep it going with sabbath, bloody sabbath. At the time I was going through a war with my father, now with my stepfather. So now sabbath, bloody sabbath was my anthem every fucking morning.

I was gonna kill this motherfucker. I didn't know how I was trying to rob him. I was trying to do everything I can to knock him off his game. But I was fucking wounded. I was walking fucking wounded. And, you know, that's, guys, I don't know, I'm mentally weak at that time. I was regressing, you know, after when you're a young child and you see some type of trauma, you know, you regress or stay at that age until you come to terms with that trauma.

So I fucking, you know, and I learned this now and now it makes it a lot easier for me to understand what was going on when I was 15 and my mother died 16. And I tell you guys, my fucking eyes, I don't know what the fuck to say, you know. But I'm listening to Aerosmith. I'm listening to all this shit. Plus, Pink Floyd DeWall had taken over. When Pink Floyd DeWall came out on November 28th of 1979, that shit came out like a bullet and it cemented himself.

You couldn't, I remember going to Paramus Mall and listening to Pink Floyd DeWall at every store. Please, teacher, leave those kids alone. And it was on the radio, which was never done before with Pink Floyd except for money and that one fucking jam. So I'm like, wow, okay. And fucking John Lennon dies. John Lennon dies.

I take a hit of acid one night, Monday night football. He dies Tuesday. The city shuts down. They say that on Sunday, they're going to have a memorial for John Lennon at Strawberry Fields. They're going to do all this shit. They're going to lock down New York. And I just happened to go and I go, I don't want to go to Central Park. It's going to be jammed.

Fuck it. I go down to the village and see what's happening. In those days, the village was a little freer, you know. And I remember going down there and seeing the store. Bleak of fucking bobs and just going in there to buy like a Bluise to cult out. I wanted to buy like a Bluise to cult out. I'll never forget this. The live one.

They have a live album that's really fucking good. Godzilla, Don't Feel the Reaper. It was like, I don't know. No, that's not on there. No, that wasn't out there. That came out after they got popular from that because they went on tour with Black Sabbath with Ronnie James Dio. And it was called the Black and Blue Tour. A lot of people don't remember this shit.

Monday more than cocksuckers. We're dropping knowledge here. Before we drop any more knowledge, I'm going to cut over to an ad for better help. Dig it. What's up? I want to talk to you about better help. When you feel empowered, you're more prepared to take on everything life grows in you. Therapy can get you to that place.

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And now back to the podcast. All right. We're back. I hope you contact better help if you're having some confusion in your life. You don't know what's going on. They'll always help you out. Anyway, back to Ozzy Osbourne here. So I go into the fucking village and I'm looking throughout the covers.

And I don't know what the fuck I'm buying. I'm looking for blue ways to cope. And right fucking there. It said Ozzy. Because blue is right next to black, you know, before. So they had black and then they had blue ways to cope. And then as I was walking down, it had Ozzy just playing Ozzy. And what the fuck is this?

And I pull out a four song EP. And I'm looking at it. And it's Ozzy Osbourne on the cover with the fucking jacket on with the wings coming over. Fucking Rudy Sarzo on the side. Not really at the time. It was the different bass player. And then it was Randy on the side and the old man drummer was on the back. He's still around.

And I remember looking at it and guys, I was there for John Lennon and blue ways to cope. And I just bumped into my fucking treasure. Every feeling in my body just dumped out. It was just four songs. Mr. Crowley. I don't know. Suicide solution. And something else that that was the first four song EP from fucking the fuck nuts.

So it sent me over. Guys, I was so fucking ecstatic. And then a couple weeks later, the album came out and I was fucking going off. But if Ozzy hadn't connected with me before, he had connected with me on this album with the blizzard guy. And again, I feel fucking like a weakling telling you the story, but it's the truth. I didn't have anything else. This is all that was keeping me together on that album. We put out two songs that really fucking stuck with me.

One is Mother Revelation, Mother Earth. I just lost my mother and this guy's talking about a mother. Not only that, Pink Floyd's got a song on the wall about mother. So it was a tough year for Uncle Joey with mothers, right? Everybody's coming out with mother, mother, mother. And I'm missing my mother, but Ozzy's mother revelation hit home. But the song that fucking destroyed me on that is I don't know. They have a verse and I don't know that whenever I'm a little depressed, I still fucking sing it in my heart.

And it's nobody ever told me I found out for myself. You got to believe in foolish miracles. It's not how you play the game. It's if you win or lose, you can't choose. Those words right there, don't confuse. Win or lose, it's up to you. That has carried me for fucking 40 fucking years. Those words are so fucking powerful in that song that and, you know, hearing Randy on the guitar.

When Ozzy came back with that band, it was the most exciting fucking thing that happened since Leonard Skinner died. And then Bon Scott died. So the community was a little low when Ozzy came back out with that album, guys. You know, I wish you could have remembered it. It just, it took everything down. It was game over. Van Halen was done. Van Halen came out with Van Halen too. Everybody had a step aside for that first fucking Ozzy album.

Everybody. And it was growing. I mean, it was in every magazine. Now they were everywhere. Rolling stone, cream. They were fucking taking over. And I read about what happened, you know, like I want to know what happened. Again, there's no fucking internet guys.

Today you go on there and find anything you want to. Back then when I was a kid, there was no fucking internet. But from reading, you know, I read that they threw him out of the band, you know, for his drug use, which I'm like, fuck, I can't wait to get older. So when I'm in a band, I get thrown out for drug use. You know what I'm saying? Like I just related to this fucking mook, you know. And guys, I saw him with Sabbath and then tickets went on sale for fucking the Palladium with Randy Rose, Rudy Sarzo, the drummer and fucking Ozzy Osbourne. And I think 40 of us went.

We were maybe sophomores in high school juniors. 40 of us motherfuckers went and another 40 motherfuckers from North Bergen were there, the older guys. And he came out and destroyed that fucking room. I stood. He opened up with and the place just fucking just erupted guys and he did two shows. Yeah, I don't know. He fucking came out and the best thing was at that time he still wasn't fucking with Sabbath. Like he was not doing any fucking Sabbath at all.

He was just doing straight up fucking that out. You know, it was tremendous. The night I saw him, you know, I don't remember if he did Sabbath. I could be wrong. There was a lot of drugs that night. You understand me? We were in the acidic state of mind, but he was also pushing the Blizzard of Oz. Now Ozzy had threatened like in 75 to leave Sabbath.

Or maybe he did leave Sabbath and he started a band called the Blizzard of Oz that was short lived for years. I saw all those pictures with him with Blizzard, the Blizzard guys. That was my again. I'm not going to be like one of these guys that sues the cigarette company after they smoked all their life and they get cancer. If I had any doubts about not doing coke, Ozzy erased that shit. Like he was, he was my fuck. I still remember being in a cemetery with my friend Carlos and laying, getting sun in a cemetery and snorting bumps. Just because of lying snow blind in the sun.

Soon my ice age yet to come. I mean, guys, I'm a fucking geek. Okay. I'm a drug geek and he just lit that fucking match for me. You know, it was like the first time you listened to bitch girl by Holy notes. Rich girl. When you're, when you're in the sixth grade and that song came on, you lost your mind. You know why?

Because he said the word bitch. You're a child. He said bitch. You know, I remember when Chuck Barry came out with my dingaling and we were like in the fifth grade, everybody bought my dingaling. Asked me where my dingaling is today. I don't even want to see that fucking album. It's a horrible album, but you're young and you're, you're very, you know, you fall for that shit. And I fell for it.

Like I loved, but there was a lot of shit about Ozzy that I liked early on that a lot of people didn't know I liked. I wasn't just a fan of his cause the drugs, he can't, he's not a great singer. Doesn't have, doesn't have a lot of, doesn't have a lot of range. You know, if you watch Ozzy, there was just something about him. You know, there's some people who are tremendous fucking singers and they get a whole career going fucking Rob Halford. That motherfucker could sing since day one. Not for everybody's taste, but he could sing. You know, Pat Benetok could sing, not just rock.

That bitch used to be an opera singer. She could fucking sing. Ozzy was always like, you know, he rate Ozzy as a singer. He's a fucking six. But his fucking story, his fucking story is beautiful. You know, that neighborhood Birmingham, England, there ain't no fucking, there ain't no Beverly Hills. That is not Beverly Hills. And them and Judas Priest came out of Birmingham, England.

You know, and they fucking, all those motherfucking bands, they're savages. Those people are savages. They eat toenails. You saw what he was doing. He was fucking licking piss off the floor. Ozzy was a fucking savage. And after a while, yes, you know, it went somewhere else. He, what, he bit the head off the pigeon.

That's not my world. That's not my world. I ain't bite no fucking head off, no pigeon. But, you know, he, when the story goes, listen, sabotage is such a great album because they were furious. Their story goes that they were just getting ripped off by the music label. You know, did you just hear this week or two weeks ago? John Fogel, he just got the rights back to his music. That's fucking huge.

That's huge. That they were at war. It doesn't really matter. What I'm trying to say is that the seventies and sixties in rock music, it was a fucking free for all. It was a steel fest. Led Zeppelin was making boxes of fucking money. And they did dictated the market. How they didn't get charged with tax fraud nor that shit in the seventies.

I read the books. I got 10 Led Zeppelin books. Bobby Lingus has sent me. They were making boxes of money. God knows where Peter Grant was fucking stealing. You know, and Sharon, Sharon Osborn's father was the original manager to Black Sabbath. He had that label in England or whatever. And he was robbing them blind.

They had no fucking money in Sabbath time. They were on the road for like three years. They had no money. No money. Gangstered no money. Like not like, well, we'll send you a report. No, they had no money. Like we gave you 28 balls.

Like that's what they were doing to these guys. It was fucking rough. And when you do like as a civilian at that time, I didn't feel the pain. But once I became a comic, I'm like, fuck, I know exactly what that feels like. There's people who run these contracts and they tell you they're going to pay you this amount. And then you don't get another dime throughout the rest of the fucking. They keep it all. But meanwhile they're telling you, oh yeah, you'll get a check once a fucking month.

They robbed those guys. When Sharon found Ozzy, this motherfucker was living on top of a liquor store in Sunset Boulevard in a one bedroom apartment. They wanted to get rid of them. They're like, he's done. They wrote him the fuck off, guys. When I found these stories out, like in 82, 83, when I started more shit started coming out, I was blown the fuck away.

He was on the top singers in the top band, nine fucking albums. And this guy was broke living on top of that. I forget the liquor store name. Like it's a bit herbs or something. It's a popular liquor store. This motherfucker was living up there with who gots nothing. She's the one that fucking got him up and said, you know, get up. That's why when you see her, I give her all the credit in the fucking world.

She fucking brought a dead man back to life. She really fucking did. You see what he did. He just didn't come back with a great album. He came back with two or three great fucking albums. And then the guy died. Then he replaced them. Then he started fucking, he put a festival together.

He put a badass fucking festival together. This guy took the ball and ran, guys. Then they started reality TV. Then they started reality TV. I mean, guys, he was at the forefront and it was all her. You know, and in a way you look at him and you're like, you know, he's just a fucking mooga. You know, they just pull him by a fucking string. Keep giving him fucking pills.

He's one of those guys that for years they argue, is he sober? Is he not sober? Doug, let me tell you something. Guys like that, those geezers from the 70, don't never be sober. I deal with an uncle right now. The guy that was my best man. This motherfucker's always got something on him. And he'll tell you, I'm sober because for them, they're sober.

For them, they're fucking sober. So for everybody else, you're like, he's still eating pills. Nah, I'm sober compared to what I was doing. Six, eight walls, a bottle of vodka, a bottle of tranquilizers, fucking gorilla biscuits. I'm sober and I get that with him. But I've always respected the fuck out of him. And this week, and it was weird because one of my guys on Patreon hit me up and he's like, describe the black Sabbath concept for me the first one you went then.

I'm like, there's the weirdest thing in the world. And the next day was when Ozzy came out and goes, I saw the video. When I looked at the fucking video, it broke my heart. He gave it his all. Nobody ever thought that dude would still be alive. Including me. I was like, that motherfucker's going to die from all the cocaine use and shit. That cocaine use made him and Keith Richards tougher than fuck.

And just the fact that these guys, this is why somebody told me this a couple of years ago. I think it was Rudy Saenz who said, the legends are going back on the road. This is your time to go see them. This is your time to go see them. If you ever had a really, really want to go see somebody for the last time, whatever, because you don't want to fucking, I know, I want to see Ozzy again. I didn't know how I was going to see him, but he might do like a residency. That's what they're pushing for.

He's not going to quit live performing. He could still sing. He just doesn't want to fucking travel. Hello. Would you want to fucking travel? You know what I'm saying? So it's going to be interesting where this goes, but just the summer's coming. I know a lot.

I know next week, right down, right down the corner. It's Motley Crue at the hard rock where we went to see Rogan there. It's Motley Crue with Def Leppard. You know, these guys aren't going away. And you know, you sit there and you go, do I really want to pay 200 bucks to see Def Leppard? I didn't two weeks ago, but now I think I want to go see these guys one last time. I grew up on this fucking music guys. You know, concerts have changed a lot.

You know, I see these post Malone shows and shit like that. Fuck that. I would never go to those things, you know, but I still want to see some old fucking rockers. I really wanted to see Aerosmith in Vegas. I think that's a tremendous residency. Anybody who's gone to see it, it says it's fucking tremendous. He might be done. You know, he might be done.

Stephen Tyler guys, it's fucking tough. I asked, I knew this testosterone doctor in LA and I asked him, you know, who he, who his number one patients were. And he was, I thought it was, was it actors or football players? And he told me that it was musicians. We didn't get into particulars, but he, but I, when I went to his wedding, the guy from Bush was there with, she was still married to Gwen Stefani. When I went to this doctor's wedding, I saw them there and a couple other people. I didn't really know where they were. They all had fancy hair and blue hair and shit, but I know he had a couple of bands.

So I asked them, why did the musicians shoot? I'm not saying Ozzy shot. I'm just telling you what is the protocol right now. First off, these older bands, they only do three shows a week. That's all they could handle. And they take a night off in between. And I don't know if you guys ever saw the Alex Rodriguez testosterone thing. Alex Rodriguez would take a gummy in the sixth inning, a testosterone gummy.

They made a testosterone gummy for him. So he would come alive in the seventh, eighth and ninth inning. So, and then when he got off stage, it was such a light boost that it wouldn't appear in his urine or something. They do something. That's what he was telling me they're doing with the rock stars. They do the testosterone a little bit before the show or that morning. And then like 30 minutes into the show, they give the drummer a solo and they all go back there. They take a fucking shot and they go out to the and that's what I can't send 70.

My friends went to see fucking Jeff back and they said Jeff back was older. Fuck God rest his soul. I'm not here to insult nobody, but they say he couldn't even move. He just stood up there playing, you know, look what happened. Look what happened with my man, Mick Mars. He's done, you know, and I fucking love that motherfucker. That motherfucker could shred. He looks like a fucking old geezer, but he could.

He could shred, bro. That dude could fucking shred. But that's it. It's the end. And if you look at what's coming up, what do we got left? What do we got left? We got David grow. We got those guys.

I mean, big bands. What? Yes. I mean, I can't. I could see guns still being out there, but they got to put out new music eventually. They have to support their next tour with something or something. Somebody's got to light themselves on fire. Something.

I mean, I really appreciate that. I love fucking guns and roses, but they're starting to get, you know, every day you go in your car and there's Paradise City. I'm waiting for it. And I have tried putting on like, uh, use your illusion, like on YouTube when I'm writing or something, reading. Yeah. Go through the whole thing, you know, pro jam still throwing heat. I always take a figure out a way to get sound garden back, but nobody wants to see garden. Son without Chris Cornell.

That's that's just a stupid idea, Joey. Uh, Allison chains is still throwing heat. I'm going to see with you. We're going to see Rudy May second at MJ pack. He's got like eight tickets for us. He said to give you two of them. Uh, you know, now I feel bad. I feel bad about the attitude I had the last 10 years, uh, living in LA, you know, I tried to go see Mike was shanked every fucking year.

And I always had a stupid fucking date when he came to town. You know, uh, you know, and I just, I put, I put comedy and I let, uh, stand up, get in the way of my music career for a long fucking time. You know, I'm a big music guy. Music is music lifts my spirits as times I'm down. I could smoke half a number and put an album on and I'm brand brand the fuck. No. I mean, it's music. Just, uh, it really affects who the fuck I am.

You know, I like coming back every once in a while. Sometimes I don't even play the music. I just looked through the albums and it gives me the strength of 10 dead Iranians. I just fucking, you know, I'll, I'll read the wall fucking. It's Monday, motherfuckers. What do you want? We got a big fucking week this week, man. If you really think about it, you got a big sports week.

I know a lot of you motherfuckers are getting ready for the soup bowl. What are you going to wear? What are you going to eat? I'm going to eat some mushrooms. I just gave Mike a little five man package. Let me see that motherfucking bag right here. These things are tremendous. Silly's a fucking taken over.

They also have chocolate now. Now I've gotten some chocolate mushrooms in town here. They taste like dick. Okay. Dog, you got to taste silly's chocolate. They taste so fucking good. The chocolates like water really Guadalajara. What's that fucking?

Geodelli. It's like that guys. That's how good the chocolate is. And it's shiny. It's dark chocolate. Cocoa, which is good for you. You know, they even for my age, they said you should eat some cocoa. Dark cocoa, whatever the fuck it is.

Once or twice a week. The dark don't eat regular chocolate. Eat dark chocolate. So yeah, I'm going to eat some fuck. I got some shrooms saying for the soup bowl. It's a big night. Saturday night. You got my man fucking Bolenosky again.

Mikkelshoff, whatever. You know, I'm not going Russian names. Whatever the fuck. I don't know what the hell's going on anymore. You got fucking soup bowl over the under. You got so many games going on. And listen guys, I love working for DraftKings. I love fucking DraftKings.

But let's get something straight. I am not here telling you to fucking place a battle. Whatever. I'm telling you, read my words. I'm telling you to have fun. Everything has an entertainment value. It's the value you put on it. Okay.

If you want to spend 800 for Roger Waters, go ahead. Some people look at me and they go, I'll give 200 for that communist. After that, I'll owe this. I ain't paying a dime over that shit. You know, it's the same thing with having a good time. If you want to have a good time, what do you want? Do you want to have stakes and people jumping up and down and bitches flying through the air? You got to go for $150 stake.

You know what I'm saying? It's the same thing. So for me, Doug, I get, when I was a kid and I used to gamble because that's what you do when you're an idiot. You gamble and you lose. That's one thing. But when you play, you know what the things are and you know this is just, this is just a game. $25 isn't going to affect my family. If I bet a game for 25 bucks, if I bet a game for 100 bucks, it will affect my family.

These are the things you got to know on your own. You know, last two nights ago, there was a UFC. I didn't, nothing. Me now, I'm into college basketball. If I see something I like, Ohio State or something, 25 bucks, it's entertainment. Sometimes I even check to see what's on TV at night. And if there's a game coming on, I'll just try my fucking basketball knowledge for 25 bucks. You know, I loved them as a company.

They got great customer service. And I've been with them for three years. I think I've been with them for four. I was with them a year before I even started working with them. Like I enjoyed them. I tried a couple of different companies, but I really like fucking Drap Kings and that's why I ended up partnering up with them. So they're going to have some great things going on for the Super Bowl. Don't forget, if you're in Jersey, fucking Stoner Club, you want to be prepared.

I'm going to try to get them some fucking laughing gas by the Super Bowl. I promise you motherfuckers. But tomorrow's anything go Monday. Today is anything go Monday. You get like 10% off all your orders. Give them a stonerclub.com and use Uncle Joey. And that's it motherfuckers. It's a great Monday.

I'm great. I'm happy to be alive. I'm happy for you motherfuckers. My patreon is at the best point I've ever had them. They're all normal for years. I had all these crazy people talking about the weather and shit. Now I got people with real problems there and we communicated fucking great on that. And that's it guys.

I'm just having a good time and slinging dick and giving out chopsticks. That's what we do around here on Uncle Joey's joint. So stay black. Have a great week. And here's a word from our sponsors, Coxuckers. See you next Monday morning after the Super Bowl. Alright you bad motherfuckers. Thank you for letting me talk about Ozzy today. I just thought that it's what threw me off the boat last week.

But I'm back bitches. Thank you for supporting me before I got to get out of here. Listen, this episode was sponsored by BetterHelp. When you feel empowered, you're more prepared to take on everything life throws at you. I was at BetterHelp for at least a year and they took me out of my funk and put me in the right place. Dana did a great job. BetterHelp is the therapy option that it's really convenient, flexible, affordable and entirely online. You don't even have to leave your house.

Just fill out a brief questionnaire, get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapist anytime with no additional charge. It couldn't be any easier, right? If you want to live a more empowered life and have control of your life, let BetterHelp.com slash Diaz get you there. And when you sign up today, I'm going to get you 10% off your first month, alright? That's BetterHelp.com slash Diaz. The joint is also brought to you by Rocket Money, formerly known as True Bill. You're paying too much for your subscriptions.

You don't even know what the hell you got out there. Cable bills, this, that, masseuses. That's why I love Rocket Money, formerly known as True Bill. The app shows you all your subscriptions in one place and cancels whatever ones you don't want. It's that easy. They can even find the ones you didn't even know you had. So you may even find that you're being double charged. How's that for you?

Download Rocket Money today, right now. Just press cancel and Rocket Money, take care of the rest. Get rid of useless subscriptions with Rocket Money right now. Go to RocketMoney.com slash Joey. Seriously, I'm going to save you hundreds per year and you're going to really love me then, you little dirty animals. That's RocketMoney.com slash Joey. Cancel your unnecessary subscriptions right now at RocketMoney.com slash Joey. And the joint is also brought to you by, listen, either you're going to get the party started this weekend or you're not.

We're talking about two fights and then a tremendous football game. In fact, the biggest one of the year on Sunday. And you're sitting here looking around like, what am I doing this weekend? Listen, I got it all planned out for you. You're going to download the Draft King Sportsbook app right now. They're an official sports betting part of the UFC. You can't go wrong. New customers.

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Five dollars on UFC 284 and get 200 and bonus bets instantly. This Saturday, Draft King Sportsbook called Joey, J-O-E-Y. Minimum age and eligibility restrictions applied. See show notes for details. I want to thank Rocket Money. I want to thank Draft Kings and I want to thank BetterHelp for always having my back. But I want to thank you motherfuckers. Stay black.

Have a great week. Uncle Joey loves you. Thank you.