Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #231 | LEE SYATT - UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ

Episode Date: February 20, 2023

Welcome to UNCLE JOEY’S JOINT..... It’s Monday, February 20, 2023… This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT!  Go to https://www.onnit.com & Enter PROMO CODE: JOEY, JOINT or CHURCH This episode is also brought to you by Manscaped, Liquid I.V. & Stamps.com… Liquid IV Support the show and get 15% off at https://Liquid-IV.com by using code JOEY at checkout. STAMPS Visit https://www.stamps.com & use code JOEY to get a free trial. MANSCAPED Visit http://www.manscaped.com and use code DIAZ for 20% off + free shipping on your first order. Follow Uncle Joey on Social Media: https://www.Twitter.com/madflavor https://www.Instagram.com/madflavors_world And don’t forget... The Mind of Joey Diaz on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/joeydiaz  #JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #displate #manscaped #bluechew #CBDLion #HeartAndSoil #DraftKings #BetterHelp #stamps #RocketMoney The JOINT is Produced by: Michael Klein aka @onebyonepodcast on Social Media: https://www.Instagram.com/onebyonepodcast https://www.twitter.com/onebyonepodcast Huge Thanks to BEN TELFORD for the Tremendous intro video..... https://spoti.fi/unclejoeysjoint

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What up, you bad motherfuckers? It's Monday the 20th of February. Uncle Joey here with my main man, Lee Syat. What up? Celebrating my 60th fucking birthday. It was phenomenal. We ate mushrooms. We went bowling.

We fucking went to Carvel. We did it all. You understand me? We did it all. Lee is basically recovering. He had to come over and drink a Liquid IV this morning. That saved me. He's still in the target, man.

What's that? They have him in the target. Oh yeah, they have him in the target, but I got him cheaper. If you go to liquidiv.com, forget about it. I save you 25 fucking percent, Jack. But those things will save your life when you're stoned. You know, I didn't want to talk about that because Liquid IV is a great company. But if you got one too many bongs in here, one too many edible in here,

or one too many chocolate mushrooms or just mushrooms altogether, or maybe ate some bad ass last night, Liquid IV got you. You understand me? Maybe all of the above. All of the above. You wake up with that pubic drive-out. You spit the hairs out. You pop in a fucking pina colada Liquid IV, 16 ounces of water.

Who the fuck is better than you? You understand me? But no, it was great. It's been a fucking wild ride because last week I wasn't sad about it. It was just a number to me. But it really is like a fucking major thing. Like 60, like it's like, and the funny thing is guys, where did it go? You said something funny and I was thinking about it.

You said like you felt like you were in your 20s still. Like I think about, I don't feel any different than I did when I was 18. You know, listen man, you wake up in the morning feeling pretty fucking good. I had bad days and I got good days. You know, tomorrow is going to be a bad day because I went to two jujitsu and two lifts in four days. That's not what I should be doing. So the next two days I'm going to be fucking hurting. When we were younger, you know, I could run on a fucking day seven days a week and not even have,

maybe get a splinter from jumping a fence or something like that. You know, I mean those differences. What about mentally though? Like I don't feel any different mentally. We are fucking 30. You shouldn't be there. I don't know. I still feel like you told me I was 18.

Even if you're fucking retarded. I give you one of these edibles. You're going to feel good about yourself in three or four minutes. You know, it's a no fucking brain. I mean, but no, I feel better now than I did in my 40s because I was waking up on cocaine. Right. That's a horrible, horrible feeling in the morning to wake up and your body feels like you get a little fucking electrical shocks and shit.

You know, liquid IV couldn't help that shit. No, not the electrical shocks. Liquid IV can do a lot. But man, no, you know, now I've been really taking care of myself. Yeah. You know, when you go on the road guys and I don't think about it then. You don't think about it while you're doing it. But I'm going to give you a short fucking you do.

There was a time when we did the morning podcast. We got up at six, 545. Started at six. Yeah. Started at six 445. And then we, uh, and then I have to fly and then early on Thursday morning. Oh, yeah. Thursday morning.

I'll leave it six. And then Friday I'd have to do radio and then Saturday you do two shows at the club. You get out of that one, you set the alarm for four. Because again, when you're 20, you don't need to sleep. Like when I went on the road with Joe and Ari and Duncan, there was no sleep. We finished the two shows and hang out in the hotel lobby till because why sleep? It's four hours. Why sleep?

What a waste of time. Well, when you get older, you need those fucking hours. And even those four hours, you know, this is why I can't stand connecting flights in the morning. I don't mind taking a connecting flight out. But in, when you're coming back, you just worked five days. You're walking on fucking, you know, and I still remember two distinct airports. Number one is Chicago. When you got two, three hours of sleep and you got to fly through Chicago and connect.

It's a fucking, you know, and Chicago's always your plain lands in another city where the gate is. You know what I'm saying? So you got to sprint there and shit. You know, it's a different situation, but I think the toughest airport for me to ever connect through was Detroit. That, that one's terrible. I did that. Detroit. It's not that it's terrible.

It's a beautiful airport and it's pretty modern. It's got like this avant-garde art. Has a train up top. There's a train up top. But when you walk underneath and you got to go through the avant-garde thing and you, and you're on 10 hours of sleep. Plus six shows plus three early mornings. You in the Twilight Zone and you don't know how really close you are as a human being to just dying. You really don't.

Your body is wiped the fuck out and now you're going to get on another plane, whatever, three hours from Detroit. And I'm not complaining here, but I'm just giving you the reality. These are the biggest differences I saw. Thank God I was smart enough as I got older to force myself to go to sleep on Saturday nights. That's where the edibles and the Xanax came in because I could not take a chance and not fall asleep. Now think about this. Think about eating the Xanax and waking up three hours later. You're still pretty much in it.

You're done. You're done and you're walking through an airport. You know, that's why when I talk to comedians, a lot of them go, I left my wallet at the airport. I left my belt at the airport because you're fucking a sleep guy. Well, because you didn't even really fully paint the picture. When we started the podcast, it was Monday, Wednesday started at six. So it was Sunday night. You weren't asleep on Sunday.

You were just coming back from the road. So you weren't sleeping Sunday night. Monday night, maybe you could sleep Tuesday night. You couldn't sleep Wednesday night. You had to leave Thursday morning and then Friday you had the radio. So you had maybe two nights a week. And I didn't respect sleep. I did not respect sleep.

You just don't. When you're young, you're like, fuck it, I'll sleep when I'm dead. You know, and that's, hey man, I ain't mad at you. I ain't fucking mad at you. But you have no idea how much it weighs on you. Not to mention the alcohol, the reefer, the edibles, a family. You know, as I got older, I couldn't deal with everything. And listen, there was a lot on my fucking plate, guys.

But that's the differences. I see that. My mind, comedy-wise, during the week is dead. When Lee comes around, my mind wakes to fuck up. We cracked some fantastic jokes this week. We talked about snorting, shoe polish and fucking, you know, making a shirt for Jewish people, shoes with parachutes. Because if you live in Israel and Palestine throws a bomb on you,

you're up in the air. You don't die from the flight. You die from the land. You say, bomb you, you fucking, and you're up there like the guy from Wakanda forever with your little fucking heels flapping around. I'm looking for those fucking shoes. Those are the shoes I'm looking for. So we're going to invent a new Jewish shoe.

It's going to call Jewish pride. And these fucking shoes have parachutes and something else for you. We were going to have a yarmulke with a propeller, too. A yarmulke with a propeller. So that saves you a little fucking, as soon as you hit the bomb, you put the safety helmet on. I love it. Friday night, we were throwing some heat in this fucking basement

talking about drugs and we're going to make a new shirt, Jewish power. Yeah, Jew power. Jew power and sell them because that's big. We got to fucking, you know, yeah. Another fuck Kanye, another one with Kanye and the Great Wall and the Egyptians is stepping on them and shit or Palestine, whatever the fuck they are. All of it.

I don't know. We were fucking throwing heat. But my mind doesn't get like that. Am I forgetful? Yes and no. I got to be honest with you. Yes and no. If I tell you, I'm going to call you back, you know, and you remember,

but you remember six hours late. You remember when you look at your phone and go fuck. He asked me for a size. I got to call him back at seven, seven hours ago. That kind of shit. But no, I'm tired. You know, my knees. Listen, man, when I, I've accepted, you accept it after a while.

You have to do the math in your head on my knee. It feels weird. It's a 50 year old me. 50 fucking years old. What do you think it's supposed to feel like when you were eight? No, it's so I understand all those functions. Right. But then on the other, like, like you're saying, you're taking,

taking better care of yourself. Like you're a lot wiser now. I'm not calling you. Well, you know, you're better prepared. You can, like you can do different things that you couldn't do at 30 or 40. No. Listen, man, you lose little things, but you work with, with what you got. You know, I was very discouraged from even going to jujitsu and the most

motivational jujitsu guy looked at him and it's John jock. He's missing fingers from birth and he didn't quit. He went in there and said, I got to make it work for me. And that's very impressive. So did anybody see the last Rambo? Uh-huh. It's very violent. The last Rambo he made, it was the end of the Rambo series and it was very violent.

And when you watch that movie, you see a gentleman that's old. So he knows he can't hand to hand combat you. He knows he's going to get beat up. So he has to outweigh you with his mind. He put grenades and he put the doors one on one. You know, he put music for him and he shot arrows. He kept everybody at his distance, but he worked from his strengths. And that's what you could do, but that's what you could do throughout your whole life

because we're not all 100%. So why not look at your weaknesses, accept them and go, okay, my strengths have to overpower my weaknesses. I'm still going to work on my weaknesses, but I got this strength. Let's work with what we have. I was thinking about this on the drive up yesterday. Because my cousin called me and he's moving back from LA to the East Coast. And I was thinking about it because I hate when you have a decision like that to make,

like, should I move back? Should I switch jobs? Should I break up with somebody? Should I like a life decision like that? It freaks me out and I don't know how to make that pick and look at my weaknesses and my strengths. And I was thinking about your birthday, you must look back at decisions you've made throughout your life. You don't seem to have that problem making decisions. Because I made a lot of bad ones. When you've been making bad decisions all your life, eventually you hang in there, you start making good ones, you know?

We all make bad fucking decisions. And the younger we are, we make the worst decisions. We make the worst ones we don't know. But, you know, the one thing I read, when I re-read the book that I wrote with Erica, I read about how many times I started. And it got me a little bummed out. You know, I would start over. Like, I would pick up my thing and move across town and start with a clean slate.

Why would that bum you out? It never really bummed me out that much because I would fuck up. So I was forced to learn how to pick up the pieces all my life, you know? When you keep fucking up, it's like a fucking nightmare. And after a while, you're like, I can't do this no more. It's not that you get wiser or smarter, you're like, I cannot keep doing this anymore. I can't keep dropping my phone. I can't keep going back to this fucking girl.

It's just ruining my life. You just pick yourself up and the more you do that, you start getting confidence in your decisions. And all your decisions now, you know, it's like when we talk about comedy, I love comparing comedy to life because we've always said that there's great joke writers. And I bet you it happens with music, you know, musicians, especially writers. You, what are we talking about? About making decisions. Let me see what the fuck.

When you go up on stage, you have these jokes that you write. And sometimes you go up there. I was talking to one of the guys from Patreon and he said he went to do a show, but there were all yuppies and he hopped it out. You lost. You lost because you judge the audience. And when you're a young comic, you go up on stage and you have this joke you want to do and it's fucking dirty and you want to rock their world. But then you look over and you see a fucking grandpa with white hair and white and his wife's got white hair and they're drinking water. And you're like, you know what?

I'm going to crack this joke, but I'm going to crack it scared. It's like when you throw a rock and you duck, you could throw a rock two ways. You could throw, when you watch those Palestinians throw rocks, they don't throw rocks scared. They take the rock and they go, fuck you Ali Baba. And they throw it. But if you pick up the rock and throw it like with your head up, it's not going to go. Same thing happens for a joke. You got to stand behind that joke.

This is not a punch and it hurts more than a punch. It hurts more than a fucking punch. I rather get punched in the face when you have those specific jokes that you want to crack and you crack them and it's a good joke. But guess what, pussy? You're not standing behind your joke. If you want to learn how to stand behind your jokes, you watch a man named Doug Stanhope. He'll teach you what I'm talking about, but it's the same in life. You have to stand behind your decisions.

So the only way you could be confident about a fucking decision is if you've done it before or been in this situation. You know, when we were moving here, I wasn't worried about this is the first time I had to bring two other fucking civilians with me. This wasn't a Joey show of late where I just said, I only lead 2000, I owe Mike 10,000. It's time to leave time. And I just left. Those days are over because I got cargo now. So that was a lot of pressure to move here because what if I let her down and what if I let the kid down? What if the kid was more, but I'm like, this is Jersey and I have faith in the neighborhood problem.

It's not the neighborhoods that I grew up in, but that community is still in there. So I made a good choice. Was it a good choice for me? Do I feel the same way I did in LA? No, I've had a, I've struggled here the last two and a half years, but I'm getting better. I struggled mentally because decisions, decisions, same thing we were talking about, you know, I love staying in the company, but I got no urge to get in a fucking car and go do a spot. If you can't do a spot for free, why go commit to a paid spot?

So I know that. I fucking know these things. But to get back to you, it's the same thing in life, man. When you say, fuck you, you got to stand behind it. If you, if you're arguing with your girlfriend, you're like, that's it. We're done. I'm never going to call you again. You call it three days later.

Right. You defeated the fucking, the whole patois, the whole goddamn thing. And but then like, that's the hard part for me is like, when I think of what stand by your decision means, it's like, you're like, okay, this is like, this is it. And this is why I'm doing it. But my brain, once I make a decision, my brain will come up and start fucking with you. What about this way? And then it's time to read the Stephen Keating book again about the war of art or the art of war, whatever, not the Zanzu one.

Right. Because it's that it's getting that stupid listen. The reason why I was struggling, I would struggle the last couple of months is because there were days I could go to jujitsu and I wouldn't because I would let my fears. I would go, well, I'm going to go there and I'm going to breathe and I'm not going to be able to breathe. And then tomorrow I'm going to be sore and I wouldn't go and guys at one o'clock. I'd be fucking furious at myself. They didn't go, but it goes back to anything I ever did before. I remember one time I was doing comedy maybe four years and I did something and left with a girl from a comedy thing and it was no big deal.

It was an open mic. I wasn't getting paid, you know, that bothered me for a long time. I'd rather go up there and bomb than not do the fucking spot. Right. I'd rather go up there and bomb than not do a spot and not know. Not know what could have happened. You know what I'm saying? It's like you going with your electric guitar.

You're going to go play Nirvana and you get there. There's a bunch of cowboys and you're like, God damn it. I don't have my Johnny's. I don't have my Johnny Cash hat. You know what I'm saying? It panicked shit, but go back blues brothers. 1982. They walked into the bar.

They opened up playing whatever the fuck it was. The people started throwing bottles at him and shit. They turned the lights off. They regrouped and they sang rawhide. They figured it the fuck out and then they won them over. The guy's like, that's the best show we've ever seen. And that was when Belushi had the whip and shit and he's fucked it. The chicken smoking the cigarette and it knocks it out of her hand, all that stuff.

Like, you know, it's a commitment. When you make those type of decisions, you have to make a commitment to yourself. And go, it's all going to work out. And then did you ever run into a situation like that again where like you were thinking about not going up? Always. Every fucking time I went to do comedy, I was in the hotel room on Saturday. I would figure out, how can I slip on a banana peel and not do this fucking show? You know, you always have that fear in you.

But if you let that fear win, then you're done. You're never going to get nowhere in your life. You just got to close your eyes and go, I'm going to do this and do it. And the more you keep doing that to yourself, you get in the thing of fucking, listen, one of the best anecdotes I ever heard was on that fucking show with the Lakers on HBO. Oh yeah? They were driving back with his daughter and she was asking him a question. He goes, you see that plane right there?

Because a lot of people don't notice that when a plane starts to go down, they shut the engines off and it's just free fall. So some shit like that. But they couldn't sell a lot of tickets if they told the audience that to consume that. Right. He goes, it's the same thing in fucking life. If you don't fly, you're never going to fall. Wow.

So if you don't go for it and guys, there was nobody. Listen, man, that took me February of 89 to July of 91 to get on stage. Let's look at that. That's a year, right? That's 18 months. Almost two years, isn't it? That's almost two years from when I kept telling people, I'm going to do comedy. I'm just writing material.

I'm writing. That writing, that's bullshit. That's why I tell people, stop writing. You're never going to write. Just go up there. Get it over with. Go up there and sing a song. I don't give a fuck what you do.

Go up there and tell a story. They're going to boo you anyway, but I want you to get it out of the way. And I want you to realize that even with all the booze, you've never done anything like this in your life. Right. Even with all the booze in the room, you're never going to feel like this in all your life. I give you 10 blow jobs and put a firecracker in your asshole. You're never going to feel like this. The feeling you're going to get from doing that stand up and bombing is better than any feeling you've had.

You might feel a little creeped out, but it's like getting smacked in the face for the first time. You walk away and go, what the fuck was that? But I just allow that to happen. I'm going back tomorrow night. It's the same fucking day. Especially with open mics, people usually, if you just say it's my first time, as crazy as open micers can be. They love you. They're very supportive.

At least for the beginning. Eventually if you're bad, we'll make fun of you. But the first couple of times it's like, and I tell this story every time someone is not sure about an open mic. They open mics at the library on Sunset and there was a legit homeless guy with bags. Not just a guy living in his car. A legit homeless guy who would do it before me and did better than I would. He was funnier than I was. Homeless people do open mics.

You can do an open mic. Open mics are a slash between mental health. If you check bracelets at an open mic, you'll catch one guy that just got out of the insane asylum. Like that afternoon or the day before. Or a halfway house. And listen man, it's the first step to get healthy. Listen, there's a lot of people go up on stage and say some crazy shit. But eventually they don't see that people react to it and they start coming around.

They start coming around because they know they're not winning this war. And there's guys that just show up on Mondays. I love those guys. They don't want nothing out of life. They don't want nothing. You talk to them after and they're like, fuck you, I'm going back to my job. I work at Subway. I'm having a great life.

And you're like, okay. But they show up every Monday. They don't want to go on the road. They don't want to be a big deal. And it's great to see those lunatics. They come in with a handcuff on. You know, they all come in a little crazy. But you know, it means something.

I went to Jiu-Jitsu today. I could tell there was a brand new kid in there. And he had to be 100 pounds overweight. And he was running. And I'm like, look at this guy in the middle of the circle because you can't run. I run in the middle. I'm not fast enough. So I run in the middle.

I just do a light job. And I'm like, it takes a lot of courage for this guy. And after class, I went up and I go, bro, keep coming back. Don't let this, you're going to melt through that fucking fat in a month or two. Just keep coming back. And I love it. I love when somebody, you're right. When somebody comes in and they go up on stage, I'll do it for the first time.

I'll go out of my way to make that first. And because when I got on stage the first time, a lot of motherfuckers went out of their way for me, dog. A lot of motherfuckers were like, hey, man, thank you for coming down. Hey, man, keep coming back. One guy told me because you sucked on stage, but your fucking stage presence was brilliant. Keep coming back. Hey, man. Fuck yeah.

I'm going to come back. Don't worry about it. I just got to figure out how to get rid of this fucking noose around my neck next wife. But I'm coming back. Don't worry about it. And that's the thing. You have to look at everything. Listen, guys, you're not going to like everything.

You're not going to like everything you try. There's no way you might go to El Nido and go, I don't like the steak, Joey. That's fine, but you like the steak from somewhere, you know, whatever. You might try hockey, but that's okay. Give it a fair chance. And if not my daughter quit wrestling and upset me for two minutes because when she came to me, she came to me proper. She came to me and gave me an explanation. She goes, you know, I go to jujitsu and you know, I don't miss a class, but dad didn't like it.

She goes, the boys are a little rough around me and I didn't know what to do. She goes, if I would have known what to do, I would have wrestled them. So I saw the jujitsu coach. I saw the wrestling coach at jujitsu Friday and he goes, your daughter didn't come back up here. I go, you know why they do a core class here at jujitsu? Because it's not, it's not, you know, you don't roll. You just drill. You just drill.

You learn to move. You drill it 10 times and you, and let me tell you something. The first five of those classes that you go over there at Alice, you're going to be sweating during those drills. You're going to go, what the fuck? And that's going to make you come back and then they don't, if you don't want to roll, don't roll. We just want you to learn the system correctly so you get confidence. Mercy didn't have confidence. So she goes, what I want to do is start going on Wednesday nights, have to basketball to that place because they teach you from scratch.

Fine. Fine. I can dig with that. She's stuck with baseball. She's stuck with basketball. She's stuck with the drums till the end of the class this year. She told me that I don't like the drums. I don't like how they play them there.

They play like, you know, yeah, she don't want to do that. She wants to play the Rolling Stones. You know, so it's hard to do something when you're not good at it. That's one of my, my biggest weaknesses is if I'm not good at something, I'm, it's very hard for me to try to do it. Yeah, but let's take it back to the conversation. Nobody tries to an open mic on a Lamborghini. Right. So when you try something for the first time, you're not going to be good at it.

If you think something like last night, we were surprised. We weren't bowling. I have not bowled 20 years since Houston night. We used to go to midnight bowling after the gigs and eat brownies. That'd be a heavy metal band, fucking lights and shit. Tremendous. I haven't bowled. So when I went there last night, there was no expectations, but also night through a strike.

Yeah. And I'm like, okay, I started, you know, I had to get back to the first two or terrible. I thought my arm was going to fall out. I thought my knee was going to connect. The shoes were slippery, but you go back there and you, and you did it. I didn't expect that. My expectations were low. Right.

Your expectations are low. Because I didn't expect, you know, to sell out the bowl, you know, to throw 10 strikes. I threw one or two and I'm like, okay, now I got him. I might go back. I might go back and start bowling again in a league on a Monday night. Why not? I'm at that age that this is what it's all about. You take the weights off a joint and you go.

You're not going to be good at everything, guys, at anything the first time you did it. But there's a difference. And I think bowling is similar to stand up because you, and usually at your first couple of mics, you'll get a laugh or a chuckle at least. I might not, you're not going to get, not going to get a standing ovation. But like I, I think I got at least two or three. I've never, I've bowled with those big balls like three times in my life where I grew up. It was all candle pins.

So I don't, I don't know how to bowl. But I went like, when I got a couple of pins, I was like, oh shit. I was like, I can understand. Like, but I think the difference maybe with mercy. And I don't know. She's tough. So maybe she probably did. But like, if you're getting like, not beat up, but if you're getting constantly pinned

in, in wrestling and not seeing any improvement, I could see her be like, yeah. You know, she, I don't think she just wanted to learn the fundamentals and they taught them real quick. And like, she went to two practice like you're wrestling on Saturday. She was like, no, I'm not. Oh, like a match. Yeah. Oh, Jesus.

Yeah. She's like, no, no, she wanted to learn the basics. She's, I'm the same way. I'm the same fucking way. I don't want to go in there until I learn shit. That's why I took a stand up comedy class for $31 and Boulder. And then when I got a little into it, when I came here two years later, I took another eight week class because I don't know everything.

Nobody knows everything. I feel better. Like when I lift weights, you know what? 20 years ago, I go into a gym. I didn't give a fuck. Now I don't want to lip on myself. I'll pay you, Mike, just to watch my form. Cause I don't want to get hurt.

And then I can't do anything. So I'd rather give you the half a yard and we lift together and you just watch my form and tell me, Joe, you're not doing that. Put that weight down, Joey. You're not my fucking, put that down. I want you back here on Wednesday. You follow me. There's a lot of things I'll do at my age now that I can do by myself.

But there's a couple of things like left hand and all that. Jiu-Jitsu is a lot of the people in the room. So Jiu-Jitsu, I hear it all the time. Joey, breathe. Oh, really? One of the old guys from the other side of the room. Joey, I see your face. You're getting red.

Breathe, you fuck. But, you know, when I went into for Jiu-Jitsu, I didn't fucking, I was like, what the fuck? The first time I did a hip escape, I thought my world was going to end. And then they wanted you to do 30 yards of them. And I remember getting up going, I'm going to fucking die. Remember that kettlebell class we used to go to? Yeah. I thought we were going to fucking die in that class.

That was not a good kettlebell class at that knucklehead. But, but then we went to the Irish dude in the Bronx and he was the real deal Holyfield. You went in there, you knocked it out in 20 minutes and you went home. And he taught us the right way. He taught you from fucking scratch. He did the, remember he'd make you bend over and teach you. That's what I like. I like that.

And I think there's a difference because I was trying to think of the difference between the two classes and like there's confidence. And then there's like, I don't know if bravado is the right word, but like arrogance and like you can be confident in your stuff. But if you're overconfidence is a bad thing too. Like you don't have to like do this most or, or do the biggest weight. Like we didn't, like Irish didn't care what weight we were using. No.

He just wanted you to show up and do it by the time, remember he would time he put the form, he put the fucking work out on the board for you and shit. You did it on your own. There were other people in there and he was in there and he would watch. He put me in a corner with the chubby fucks. There was one guy there that was fucking strong. There was a guy with the beard. There was some strong mother fuck.

It was a strength gym. It wasn't like a, you know, let's, let's drink a smoothie. It was a fucking hypo fucking beat tight TRX and kettle bells. But to get back to you, listen, man, we're not good at that. Mike, when you came in, we did the videos. You figured it out. You didn't take a video editing class or a fucking, you didn't go to NYU or nothing like that.

We figure it out. First couple of weeks is a little scary. Like anything else in life. It's like, what the fuck am I doing? But then you figure it out and you, you do a couple things and now you start picking up confidence and you go, holy shit, I did that with what I read there. Can you imagine if I really put my mind into this? And there you go.

You're not going to be good at everything. Guys, I still regret quitting the base when I was a kid. I love rhythm and all that shit. I just, the bass player just stands there like a fucking good look. But then five years later, Rudy Sarzo showed up on Aussie and I'm like, oh, shit. This is what it could be. Oh, thank you. Oh, shit.

He's coming. May 3rd. We're all going, yeah, we're all going to see Rudy Sarzo. He's performing. Yeah. MJ pack up the corner here. Oh, awesome. What, like what else?

Cause I mean, you were saying like it's just a number, but I think you're right. I think every 10, like those 10 and fives are like big, like what else does like 60 have you think about? It really had me thinking about where I've been, like where did these years go? I had to break it down to be honest with you. I broke it down into 44 years without my mother. Fuck. All right.

I broke it down into that, not to be a fucking dickhead, but just, I had him. Yeah. I had it. And then 44 years. What the fuck have I accomplished in 14, 44 years? What did I do in 44 years? You know, forget about the failures. I can't count all those motherfuckers, but you could count a couple of little things

that meant a lot to you. You know, so it was great. Listen, man, I never wanted to go to prison and it was very embarrassing, but if that's what made me into a man, I guess I'll do it again. If all those little failures built me up to here, I have no regrets about it. You really don't because they worked. Obviously something worked. I'm still pissed.

I didn't join the army over a fucking blood test over a blood test over a fucking blood test. Right now I would have been getting four grand a month fucking from the, with full insurance for the rest of my life. I would have been out there for the last 20 years and I still could have done stand-up. Not a lot of. Well, if I would have been in the army, it would have been like prison. I would have still been cracking jokes in the army.

Right. And one of those fucking guys would have said, you should be a stand-up when you get out of here. Like Gary Owen was in the Navy when he started stand-up. I know that. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. And I would have been getting four grand a month plus fucking insurance and I could do

what the fuck I want to do. So who, I fucked up. I fucked up. If you're listening, the army right now, the services, they fucking missed their annual quota by 60%. People are not joining up. This woke society is not joining up. And this woke stuff out of all the societies that need the fucking military.

It's this one. I'm seeing kids in the 21 that have no muscle in their body at all. They've been working on Z-Boxes, whatever the fuck that is. Xbox, Z-Box, I don't know. You know, they've been doing that for 20 fucking years in college. Yeah. And a lot more of those kids than what they are athletes, like built kids. Moms are taking kids out of football.

After what I've seen the last couple of years, it's real. CTE is real. Oh, yeah. So there's a degree of what you want to do, especially in early age. You know, especially early age. So we're taking, you know, right now, the most hated thing in our society is toxic masculinity. People want to hate that, but they don't know that without toxic masculinity. If we didn't have toxic masculinity, we would have been fucking slaves to the Russians and the Chinese 200 years ago.

200 years ago, because you need a couple as bad as he was, as bad as a person as he was. I'm not, you need a Christopher Columbus to balance out shit in life. You need Genghis Kahn. And it just happens. I'm not, you know, but think about it. What are we talking about? You were talking about like the people hate toxic masculinity. Yeah, they hate toxic masculinity.

You didn't throw in the army because of the blood. So right now, what do we need in this country more than everything? We need strong men. We need strong men. You watch what's going on with men. The numbers, testosterone is going down in young men. I mean, it's just going down. Listen, I went up and down in my life.

I'm not proud of having a little bit of toxic masculinity. But Jesus Christ, I was born with two balls and a cock. What else do you want me to act like? You want me to walk around with a tennis racket? You know, I mean, think about it, guys. God blessed us with two balls and a fucking cock. And on the other side, he made women that are fucking beautiful objects, beautiful objects for what they are. You know, there's some people, I'm not saying men have to throw men out the window to survive,

but sometimes you need some men to lead other men. Some people are fucking lost in life. I was lost for a long time. All these old people that I dropped their names growing up, they would fucking influence me. They influenced me with a word or an action or something to that effect. But right now, for you not to join the army the way the world is going, if you're a real fucking American, are you fucking retarded? Are you fucking an idiot?

The army needs young men more. And listen, the young men need the army more than they've ever fucking needed. Because I don't know if you check, man, shit's getting rough out there. Shit's getting rough and competitive. They're talking about why are kids going to college? Bro, we're in a fucking standstill right now. You know, you're going to drop 300,000 for college education and be on a job search for two years of your life.

Nobody's going to learn the trades. The army needs fucking savages more than ever now. You could write your own ticket. You could pay for college. You could do so much. Who gives a fuck that you give yourself for 20 years? You're going to give yourself to some bullshit anyway. You're going to give yourself to some fucking company that don't give a fuck about you anyway.

These motherfuckers don't give a fuck about you. But guess what? If you do the job you're supposed to do, you're going to travel the world which you would have never done on your own or with credit cards. Yeah, under somebody else's umbrella, but you're still fucking traveling. And in 20 years when you're 38 years old, when everybody else is just getting warmed up, you're walking around with 4,000 a month, insurance out the fucking Gazoo, benefits out the Gazoo, and they'll pay for you for a master's fucking degree.

Now 20 or 40 years ago when I was 18, I blew off the fucking blood test. There were more options for 18 year olds. Obviously I jumped on one of the options. But today there ain't that many fucking options guys. Do you think that because I'm not even going to put it on the kids today. I'll put it on myself. Me at 18, I think I would have lasted 30 minutes. I don't think I would have made it through the haircut of basic training.

I don't think I could they turn, if people were sounding up, could they turn them into soldiers? I don't think I could be a soldier in a million lifetimes. What's a soldier? What's a soldier? What's the big thing about being a soldier? Some soldiers kill. Some soldiers work on computers. Some soldiers drive tanks.

Some soldiers become medics. So there's different qualifications for being that. Listen man, how the fuck is the army off by 50% or something? One of those, I saw this maybe a month ago or two. That they're really, because we're woke, we're very fucking woke. I don't know what it is. But I see the shape of some of these young men. And I'll tell you man, I didn't have a lot going for me at 18 through 21.

But I did have something going for me. I had balls. And I took chances. And I didn't give a fuck about picking up a phone. And I didn't give a fuck about walking up to a job site and going, hey man, you need a laborer? No. Come back in a month. How about I work for a week for free and prove to you how fucking good I am.

And if you don't like me after a week, you don't have to fucking pay me. You think people do that today? No, yes. I think you could have been molded, I guess, I don't know if that's the right word. But you know, I think they could have made you into a soldier. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because I always wanted to shoot somebody.

So it would have been easy. Yeah. It would have been easier for me to become a soldier because now I could shoot people with 200 other white dudes. I'm in. I'm in. We're all going to shoot you at once with little helmets on and shit. Fuck yeah. You know, I would have learned to jump out of helicopter.

I mean, listen man, you go up there and you think about it. You're sitting there with eight of the guys. Guess, guess what? The biggest guy with all the muscles and veins, he's more scared than you are. With all those muscles and veins, he's just as scared as you are. He's talking shit. I can't wait to get up to 8,000 feet. But now when he gets up there, he's trapped.

He's fucking trapped. He got to jump. He been talking shit with those muscles and here you are just as scared. And it's like anything else. The guy looks at you and goes one, two, three and he throws you off or whatever the fuck they do. And I guarantee three seconds into it, you're like, holy shit. I'm happy.

I got a fucking New Jersey. Holy shit. I'm happy. I got out of Iowa. Fuck them punks. Holy shit. I'm happy. I got out of Seattle.

Fuck Kurt Cobain and Pearl Jam. I think as soon as the parachute opens, you're like, okay. Yeah. And either you want to do it again. Wait a second. Can I talk to you? You mean to tell me I could jump out of a plane, land this, shoot a motherfucker. Yeah.

Okay. We'll learn how to jump out of a plane. Are you going to pay me? Are you going to pay me? Yeah. 800 a fucking year. You know, you ain't going to make no money. You ain't going to make no money.

But that's the truth. That's how you become a soldier. So, you know, I think that we could all. They could all mold it. You listen to it. It's like Jiu-Jitsu. It's like anything else. 10 people go in.

Seven people come out. And they depend on those three people rotating. Are you allowed to quit the army? What'd you sign up? I think you could come up with something. You're scared of the dark. You know, you join the army. You know, they allow transgenders now, right?

They allow transgenders. They allow gays in the military. They allow everything in the military. And what the fuck are you doing at home? With two balls and a dick between your legs. Watching TV, thinking about going to technical college. Lying to yourself. Who didn't lie to me?

I lied to myself. I'm going to be a, I'm going to be a chef. I'm going to be a painter. I'm going to be this. I'm going to be that. Look, I ended up a fucking shit out of comic. So obviously. So yeah, what the fuck, guys?

Go for broke. I mean, I would join the army today if I could. I would definitely fucking try it. I would definitely fucking try it. Not now at 60. I'm not jumping out of a plane, but 18. What the fuck did I have to lose at 18? What the fuck do any of you motherfuckers have to lose at 18, 19 or 20?

Nothing. It seems like in 20 years seems like a long time at 18. That's all. Yeah. But how old are you right now? Yeah, I'm 34. And now looking back out, you're like, oh, how many years ago did you quit college? Let's see.

12. The four years of college is 16. I'd be four years away. Right now you'd be four years away. And they probably got a program that they'll let you out in 38. You take 10% less and then you go to fucking one of those international countries and work security because they're going to give you another 300,000 a year plus the pension you're fucking getting.

Because I've hear all these people that are taking pre, they're getting out there with 38, 37 years now because they take a pay in their pension, but they go get another job at 300,000 a year working security in Iraq, fucking Iran, whatever fucking, you know. So there's so many opportunities for you. So think about it. What you did. I'm not a dog. I'm not.

I'm just telling you for the guy at home that's sitting there scratching his head going, listen to 2,000 podcasts. I'm still not funny. Well, you know what? I don't know what to tell you. It's not going to work out like that. You got to get on stage and make it work for you. I've been doing my podcast for 20 years.

I got 12 listeners then time to join the army. They got a podcast program in there. They'll rock your fucking world in the army. You know, that's just me here guys talking. I know that's what I would do in today's world if I didn't have a high school diploma. If I was struggling, if I was just going to go on to work place to make the small 15 an hour and struggle the rest of my life. I'm going to maybe get a job for two years, maybe get myself the good thing now is you

have these night courses. You can take computer courses online. I don't know how expensive that is. They do. They have stuff like Harvard, like Ivy League schools put, not the, not the entire school, but they'll have classes on there for free. You don't get credit, but you can do the class. What kind of classes?

I saw some coding ones. Like I don't, I didn't even really look fully into them. I'm sure they have history and they have their stuff. You can find every and even on top of that, like I looked at, I took a commercial acting class. I've never taken like an actual acting class. I've never taken like a, I didn't take a stand up class, but I've never even taken like storytelling.

And you can take stuff. I don't know how good they are, but if you, if you learn one or two things for a couple hundred bucks, you know, it's funny when you take those classes, people, I get a lot of emails and be, Hey, I heard you talk about this guy and he's teaching a comedy class in Minneapolis or something. I've spoken to a lot of people like that. And listen, man, there was a time, honestly, when I thought those things were a scan, I

really have to be honest with you guys. But over time I learned something that everybody has their own definition for the art of stand up comedy. And in eight weeks, if you take a class that's three hours a week and maybe they give you a little homework, they make you watch comedy, whatever. Guess what? I'm not taught. I don't want you to pay 10,000 for a comedy class.

I don't give a fuck if fucking Chappelle's teaching it with Phyllis Dilla and fucking, you know, a Jerry Seinfeld. I'm not paying you $10,000, but I will give you a couple hundred if I'm serious about this career, because if I take one thing from the class, they're going to teach eight weeks and that's eight things you just take from the class. But forget about that. If I could take one thing from the class, it was worth my money. If I take that and apply it to the rest of my career, that thing that he talked about,

it's worth it. And then when you, as you grow in the, in whatever field you're picking, you know, I can't imagine being like a mediocre guitar player and a band picks you up. Okay. And you're like, I watched the Molly Crue movie again the other night. I couldn't sleep one night. That's one of my favorite rock movies. And they had that original guitarist at first and then Mick came in and threw the guy out.

I don't know if it's a real story or not, but I guess I bet that happens a lot where a guy comes in, he's a medium guitar player. If you got a cool lead, he'll take you under his wing. You know, I think I always think about like the guy from Journey. He was 16 in a band. Neil Sean was in somebody's band at 16. Yeah. Santana, he was in somebody's band at 16.

16. 16. I'm going to give you a shot, but I guarantee if I take a 16 year old into my band, I'm going to school that motherfucker. And he's going to get schooled by the bass player. He's going to get schooled by the drummer. He's going to take one thing from that band. Even, you know, it just, I think about those things.

There was, oh, little Stevie Winwood, when he sang with traffic, I think it was trapped. Not trapped. And it doesn't matter. Yeah. Traffic doesn't matter. You know, he was 16. Little Stevie Winwood, 15, 14. Stevie Wonder was little Stevie Wonder.

You know, when you go into those places, everything gets removed. You're not a kid no more. You want to meet. We're not kids and I'm not an old man. You gravitated to me because I'm an old man, but we're an equal. And I will take you under my wing and, you know, you see it all the time when you watch old live concert videos. You know, you see guitarists looking at each other and they wink or whatever.

You know, take a breather. I know you can't play this lead. I'll take it off. That's so funny. Yeah. Do you think maybe to take it back to like the army thing, maybe that's why some people aren't signing up for it? Like there's just, there are a lot more options now.

Like maybe people who are going to join the army are doing UFC stuff now. Like there's like, like, and you, but there is something that you could, like everyone finds something that like they're passionate about. Listen, the army isn't for everybody. And I was just saying, I'm just saying in today's world that the army's light, it's not a bad idea to join if you're young and you have nothing going on. I think this, listen, I failed at 20 things early on. I wasn't good at any of it, but let's get down to basics here.

Eventually I found it. I lucked out. I was one of the very fortunate. I found what I loved and I pursued it for as long as I could. Just cause you don't join the army or go to college doesn't mean you're going to fail. I never said that. No, I've never said that in my life. You're not going to fail, but I'd rather you be a little bit more prepared.

You might, you know, you might start as a roofer, work yourself up to a fucking team captain that had roof for six years and now the world's the limit. And I saw that with the car business. I saw people walk in from the car business from working at McDonald's and they just got a nick for selling. They did it professionally and they make six figures a year with no high school diploma and they build on that. Anything could be done, bro.

You control your own fucking destiny. If you want to eat dog food, you eat dog food. If you want to eat lobster tails, you eat lobster tails. It's all your decision. What the fuck you want to do? I mean, it really is. It's you saying how much of this shit can I take? And how far, like how much you're willing to try?

Because do you think sometimes like if people don't find, not I'm not saying everyone's going to find it, but if someone's stuck, if someone's listening to or watching this and feel stuck, are they not trying? Did they not try enough? You fucking start every day. You know, I quit snorting coke in 2007, but I started in 2003. So for four years, that's the last time I'm going to do blow. I'm going to go the right way.

I'm going to do this. It was just verbal diarrhea and I knew it. You don't think I knew it? I was saying it. You know, I knew it guys. But again, we're back to the situation of how many times can you get kicked in the balls? How many times can you end up homeless? How many times can you end up in jail?

How many times do you end up doing? What's the definition of insanity? Doing something over and over again. Yeah. Expecting different results. Right there. After the third strike, you're like, I got to figure it out. And trust me, I've stuck around for nine strikes.

I've stuck around for deep, deep failure. But how long? That's what you say to yourself. You know what, man? I can't even know the potato sandwich. It's time for me to get a fucking job and get my life together. You know what? I shouldn't be sleeping in my sister's basement.

You know, it's time for me to get a fucking job. You know, yeah, there's tons of rehabs. You go to get help. No better rehab than you fucking waking up in a hospital room. You know, Nicky six, OD died, brought him back, went home and shot up again. And that time passed out. Blood came out of his arm. He woke up and he goes, no, I'm going to fucking rehab with the rest of Motley crew.

And they went on to do like two or three great fucking albums after he killed the fucking guy in the guitar. You know, whatever the singer from whatever the fucking name is, I get all emotional here. But it's true. It's how long am I going to continue to take this? How long am I going to continue to wake up every morning with no money in my pocket? Because I spent every dime on cocaine last night. And now I got to tell Terry that the check got lost. Are they going to send me another check?

After a while, she's going to go, Joey, how many checks are you going to lose? That's why after a year of dating that she started going to the gigs with me. And she would take the check from the promoter because she's like, these checks don't make it home. Right. Do you understand me? So how many times it's up to you on how many times you're going to tolerate this lifestyle before you go, you know what? I'm moving on to the next fucking avenue. She's going, he's going, the dog is going, my mother is going, I'm going for it.

That's what motivates, that's what got it to me. It wasn't a specific word. It wasn't a specific fucking situation. It was, how long can you sleep on this fucking stinky pillow? You know, I used to have a blanket I bought in 1984. I bought it at Walmart for 20 bucks. It was like a tiger. It was the same blanket that I let the guy on fire, the homeless guy.

It was like polyester or something. You could tell those blankets, you're like, man, if somebody smokes a joint, I'm busted into flames. I bought that fucking blanket in 1984. I had that blanket on the road. I had that blanket from 1998. Jesus. And that was the only blanket I had. And it smelled so bad, guys.

You want to wash it? I'd wash it once a year. I didn't even know you washed a fucking blanket. I didn't even know where to start. But I remember that blanket being in the back of my car when I was living in my car. Before my apartment got towed, my nice little condo. That's when I lost the blanket? That's when I lost that blanket.

I thought about that blanket a couple of nights ago. I still remember going, what am I going to get in my life? I still remember sleeping with that blanket on Vista, having that blanket over me in the front of a car with the sunroof up and jerking off. That's why it smelled. Because there must have been a thousand ghosts in that fucking blanket. It was just a ghost bite. It smelled like cum. Cum, sweat, reefer.

A little crunchy. And I still remember jerking off in that blanket and coming at it and going like, how many times am I going to come on this blanket? Like this blanket, this tiger should be pregnant by now. How many fucking, like when am I going to get a new fucking blanket? And that's when the car got towed and I ended up getting a new blanket. But my point is that it's shit like that. That's the shit that you should, you know, and then I'll tell you what really bothers me. It's when you fuck yourself over is one thing, but you really got to get your life together when you start carrying over to somebody else's life.

And you're fucking over their life? Like when I first met Terry and we'll get to that situation some other time. You know, because you care about that person and now you're like, I can't do that to them. Like when I met Terry, I'm in a decision. I can't carry her over into my problems. She can't handle it. She's not from that school. She doesn't understand that.

And I remember a friend of mine came on one day and accused me of robbing his watch. And he fucking woke us up and I'm like, you come to my house for this shit. He was a good friend of mine. I mean, you come here to him, but he didn't like that I had a girlfriend and he didn't. And he didn't like that I was rocking and rolling with comedy and he wasn't. So he took, like, take me down. He came over. I stopped talking to that.

He found the watch. Of course. He accused me of it. And then he, and then he started wearing it. I'm like, dog, I think your watch was missing. Oh, I found it in the toilet. I'm sorry. But you never apologized to me.

You fucking loser motherfucker. He's somewhere in Idaho now telling people he's a producer. He's still fucking fucking. But yeah, you just get sick and tired of being sick and tired. And that guy coming over and Terry seeing that helped you realize. Yeah, I couldn't have her in my life. I stood, you know, there was a time when every afternoon about one o'clock, three times a week, I would hit Terry up and go, Hey, can you put $20 on my ATM account?

I have $8 in there. I want to get a bag of reef for 20. How many times I did that? A wife, a girl. She wasn't even my wife at the time. She was a girl I was dating. You know, how many times I did that? How many times can you do that before you go?

It's time I got to get it fucking together. I'm asking my girl for 20 bucks a week. I'm from the old school. I'll give you money to eat. I'll pay for your rent. I'll put gas in your car, but I shouldn't be paying for your luxuries. I should never be paying for your luxuries. That's where you come in.

If I take the time to cover your rent and, bro, you could eat here, do whatever you want, but I can't start giving you money for cocaine. Now you're fucking with me now. Now you're bringing me into this. So that's when it becomes a problem. And that's when you got to go, you know what? It's time to fucking strengthen my game and I got to do something with my fucking life. And what do you think to close it out?

Like what do you think was that final straw? Or did you have a bunch of final straws that like made you split? A bunch of them. A bunch of them. You know, yeah, I was doing movies and I was doing spots and I was opening up for Rogan, but I wasn't fulfilled because I was doing coke and I just couldn't reach my potential. No, I wasn't fulfilled. I was sick of that.

I was sick of being a horrible. I was sick of not having the ability to earn money because after a while I stopped like I listened to LA. Whenever I got into a bind, I sold an eight ball. I sold a couple of eight balls. I knew some guys that were always looking. I'd set them up during the week. Hey, man, you got to try this code.

You know, so I could always make a living, but then came a decision. I couldn't do that no more. And I stopped doing that. I still remember selling a pound of weed to an agent from hack me agency. He was my theatrical agent. And I'll never forget selling the pound of weed and leaving them going. One of the cops going to pull me over. Like that's an undercover cop, but I needed the $200.

Like I really needed that 200 fucking dollars. And I just decided I couldn't do all those things no more. That was it. I was getting to a different age. I'm rocking and rolling. I'm friends with Joe. I'm friends with these other people. And they got to see my name in the paper for selling the pound of weed to fucking an agent.

I need that in my fucking life. Now, let's grab it down. Let's start from the scratch. Let's work this a little harder. You know, there was a point I quit stand up. 2009 I quit stand up. For how long? Six months.

I just, I was like, I'm just going to work when Greg Garcia calls me or one of my friends call me. I'll open up for Joe, but I'll get a job selling cars. And then I failed the drug test. So they brought you back in the podcast and came in. Yeah. And once the podcast world came in, I had a little bit more hope because I could tell my story. And what is blowing my mind right now is just like, because you think there's going to be like one rock bottom or one decision, but it doesn't sound like there is. Sounds like there's like one decision that gets you this far.

And then you have to make another decision. And like, it's just like, it's like, it's a lot of small ones, which is frustrating because you think like, I'm so close. Maybe you always are that close. And it's just a decision away. Think about it. You're always that close. It's just a decision away. You're always that close.

It's just tightening that one screw. Oh, fuck. I did that. You know, holy shit. I didn't look at it from that perspective. Maybe walking away from it and attacking it back. Like I walked away from jiu-jitsu for two years. I just like, if I do this again, this is how I'm going to have to do it.

I got to do it like this. I got to do it this way. Do it this way. I got to lift weights. I got to eat this way. I got to sleep this way. So it gave me a chance. You never really fail.

I never talked about backing up, looking at something and attacking it from a different direction. But you got to make me a promise that you attack it and go to that direction. People take a break from things to fall back in love with things from time to time. So that's basically it, motherfuckers. We gave you a little, I know it's a holiday today. Not a lot is going on, but Lee came. It's my 60th birthday. Uncle Mike's here.

Happy birthday. We're making it happen. Show him those fucking shrooms to these fucking savages. Oh, shit. Look what's back for today. I mean, we ate a bunch of them over the weekend. We were bowling last night, but we're going to eat some more. I told Mike's like, let's do the podcast Monday.

Mike, these ain't going to last. Get your ass up here. I'm waiting to get a taste of this shit. Silly chocolate. Fucking tremendous guys. I got a bunch sent to me. So we got a little party going for a few days. And that's it.

And that's that guys. Another fun filled Monday podcast with my man, Lisa. I'm my 60th birthday. At least celebrating the birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you guys. I love you. Stay black.

And I'll see you cocksuckers next Monday. Tip top my goo. And now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors. All right. I want to thank you savages. Thank you for watching today. I know it's a holiday and a lot of you motherfuckers are home. So we wanted to make it happen to you.

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That's 20% off in free shipping at manscape.com. Use code Diaz. I want to thank Manscape. I want to thank Stamps.com. And I want to thank Liquid IV. But most importantly, I want to thank you savages for having my back. Lee and Mike for stopping in today and making it happen. I love you.

It's cocksuckers. Have a great week. And I'll see you next Sunday. Tip Top Magooie Louis.