Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #234 - Joey Diaz, Vicky Pezza and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: December 1, 2014

Vicky Pezza, Podcaster and Comedian, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for a free trial box Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/joey for 20% off. Iron Dragon TV. A New Roku channel with all the best martial arts films. Use Code words joey or church for two free rentals. Recorded live on 11/27/2014.Music:AC/DC - She's Got BallsThe Allman Brothers - Whipping Post

this show is sponsored by nature box nature box ships great tasting healthy snacks right to your door i know you guys messed up with thanksgiving this is the perfect way to start your new years off right forget the vending machine and start snacking smarter with healthy and delicious treats like dark cocoa almonds support this podcast by ordering a free nature box sampler box at nature box dot com slash joey that's right totally free nature box snacks are found at nature box dot com slash joey the show is also sponsored by onnet dot com go to onnet dot com and use code word church and you're gonna get 10 off of alpha brain new mood shumtack immune big sail it on it big sail it on it big sail it on it 25 off till monday 18 on fucking food and supplements 18 on weights

go to on it right now today tell them uncle joey sent you and he's covered church is that just sling dick church go okay okay the show is also brought to you by me on these dot com go to me on these dot com slash joey and you're gonna get 20 off of your first order they have men's and women's underwear that are hot looking boy shorts and they have a lot of different styles of men's underwear so if you go to me on these dot com slash joey you're getting 20 off of your first order and right now this isn't gonna last forever you get free shipping in the united states in canada and lastly go to iron dragon tv dot com oh shit that's iron dragon tv dot com this is brought to you by the nano tech company that sponsors great u of c fighters like tim kennedy

if you use code word joey you're gonna get two free rentals it's a roku station a roku channel sorry has uh it man series all the great martial arts channels and old school taking it back keep an eye out for the new 4k technology coming out soon we're fucking around for a special edition the church of what's happening now mother fuckers little song here celebrate vicky peasant the house right here with old school ac dc this is the opening to my night last night oh shit november 27 2014 happy thanksgiving to you bad mother fuckers kick that jam so guys just imagine 90 miles an hour a dark freeway joey wetables going fucking deep 90 i didn't give a fuck you understand me he's beeping at toyota corollas and they like he's like fuck you too

oh shit lee i can feel the addable going down oh kick it lee kick it thanksgiving let the pilgrims lose bitches break out that apple pie in the bonnet mother fuckers we're going deep tonight you understand me fuck it you got no work tomorrow what are you gonna do but most important of all are you fucking kidding me let me tell you oh shit oh shit she's got balls bitches grab those motherfuckers yum yum's on thanksgiving because everything's all right you get the turkey the stuffing the party don't start until you get your balls licked on thanksgiving that's when you're looking up going fuck jesus christ those

pilgrims at it right they gave up their apples but those indians lick their fucking nuts it's over that's how it started that's how the name smith came up did you know that how smith apples she sucked his dick what do you want to call the kid smith bang there you go see i'm just giving a little pilgrim history a lot of people don't know that shit nobody knows about the fucking pilgrims special edition church first of all the happy thanksgiving from the church family vicky pezza happy thanksgiving lee sciat mr peas in the fucking house sitting over there giving us the evil life stone to the gills let me let me throw this out there what are you gonna throw a felicia de acción de gracias are you fucking crazy or what yeah you know bomb is on the beat with the

immigration act by 1962 how was everybody's thanksgiving i hope everybody's thanksgiving was great today it's a great day i don't know what the fuck you people look at it as but it's it's weird my first few thanksgivings and i went to your house two years ago last year no because terry was pregnant it was two years ago um but it's weird when you first move somewhere and you're in your new and i was just thinking about how and it's not that they were bad like some of them were bad bars working it didn't go anywhere but that's it's not like when your mom's cooking you go to like her aunt's house and everyone's watching football and then they call you for dinner and this was one of the first years where and it wasn't even perfect because like we had to wait for a while but

it was this was like the first year where it felt like it's like an actual thanksgiving again family yeah you went over to the girl's house she made the chicken the brother was there they were eyeballing why is white dude in the house is he a cop is he a friend now where's the uncle he disappeared oh yeah the uncle's gone they never found them again well no no they they saw him but he just loved me i mean even when i was at her house the uncle was like kind of out there so he's done they lost him right he stayed in a little abomba neighborhood yeah all right what's up with you vicky big hi guys happy thanksgiving thanksgiving this is a little east coast type thanksgiving this is it it's great we went to bubblegump shrimp that was our thanksgiving dinner vicky p you can

tell you what happened let's go to my uncle's house but my fucking retarded cousin called me monday night in the middle of my stonage at night and said your uncle's doing it again he doesn't want to go he doesn't want nobody at his house he wants to take you guys out to dinner so i said i looked at my wife mine's like she's not gonna be good in the restaurant forget it all right right so the next day i called my uncle and i go i got the message from marla no biggie we'll hook up with you later on two hours later i'm in the movies and he's calling me furious he's going i didn't say that i said instead of cooking let me just go out to dinner i'll take you to the McCormick and schmitz and we'll do the special or whatever so my cousin fucked up the message by that point you gave us

off the hook right you got me and my wife and the baby off the hook we didn't really want to drive to glendale we sometimes you open your mouth and like oof so we went and ordered the hundred dollar turkey from fucking boston market because we told people coming over right the girl that was supposed to come over called in sick she called the tent and said she's sick you don't want me sick around the baby i got 10 pounds of white meat and stuff in that house i mean it's prison stuffing it's stovetop with extra carrots but it's not bad on a fucking turkey sandwich right so you're always welcome at the house i feel terrible you went to bubble gums to eat who got some fucking thanksgiving day we normally have people over our house and like at at the end of last week

we're just like uh forget it let's not even do it you know but uh then the day comes and it's like well fuck we should do something you got at least like go go eat something and everywhere that had like some sort of Thanksgiving themed like anything in LA like everything's booked you need reservations these people savages yeah these people are really sad like this is it this is my last holiday year yeah yeah honest to god guys i haven't had a holiday in the east coast in 30 years my last holiday was this anniversary and it wasn't a fucking holiday i was homeless i was snorting fucking blow it was crazy it was the worst christmas in my life but that was the last quit that that feeling you get that jersey yeah you know everything starts tonight before two nights

before yeah you know two nights three nights and you're done already like your mind is somewhere else like the 20th it's over right like by the 20th there's nothing else there's nothing for us to discuss even though i hate even though i hate the cold it's like walking in and it's either just snow or it's gonna snow and like you have to take all your jackets off and they'll go in one room on a bed yeah i just i miss that sort of stuff sometimes you you we overlook and then when you go back there and you realize this is fucking cold yeah like once you get out of it once you they take your mental state out of the east coast you don't that's it you have to be mentally i think you're mental because like i was in philly last weekend and it was cold it was a cold or any

and i had a hooded sweatshirt on seven feet in buffalo holy what the fucking thing philly was like snowed six feet in buffalo not guys not two days at two feet apiece and then two no six feet one shot it's gotten worse and worse back there my friends were telling me they pay a thousand a month for heating oil oh my god in the winter time the last three or four winners a thousand a month it's been getting crazy there my parents live in uh in in ortley beach like near seaside heights and it gets insane the snowstorms they get they get pummeled man when i was in college living in the city i never turned my heat on like we would be freezing in the apartment it's just it was too expensive are you serious like until like maybe mid january when i got too cold up until then we

would just like fight it out luckily i was on the top floor a few times so like the heat rises right but there are times in the morning when you like you get out of it when you put one foot out from under the covers and then it hits the floor and the floor is ice and then just i don't like places like they put you have these fu fu hotels now these clubs and these hotels have showers with no fucking shower curtains like just a piece of glass like no like the glass no no no i don't like fucking glass around when i'm showering never do i want any fucking type of glass when i'm showering not at all i don't like glasses in the bathroom area you know there's a candle in my bathroom because of the stink of my asshole i'm beyond lysol like

the shit i took this morning was lysol couldn't do fuck to it lysol just dies when you spray it out of the candle just goes i use these supersonic candles it works you got to leave the door open for 22 minutes the whole house smells like that the fuck if the candle gets in there it's like the candle against the fart and the smell of rotten ass and guts and peanuts and whatever the fuck it is anyway it's Thanksgiving people what do you want to talk about tomorrow you're gonna be suffering you eat those turkey sandwiches on white don't end with the stuffing that becomes spackling your fucking stomach then you throw spaghetti sauce on it and milk and oh god some coffee that becomes one missile of turkey fucking stuffing white bread cranberry sauce wait till

you see the fucking toilets tomorrow you think like there's like a like plumber's love the day after holiday like fuck yeah some people are gonna get a toilet's clogged fuck yeah it's like the more domestic violence the day after Super Bowl is some shit it's like more toilets get broken the day after Thanksgiving now they're trying to make fucking the Super Bowl come in football commercial don't hit women have you seen that new one where it's like domestic violence is hard to talk about and they're all like crying a little bit that's the worst one they're crying because god knows why they're fucking crying they're like what the fuck am i here this is painful to do i gotta listen and talk to eight women with eyepatches on it this is what i fucking need today i gotta come

in here on my day off and listen to this shit now you got beat up by a football player what the fuck did they do they lift weights and they hit people why why why is it gotta be any different i love you you're fucked once you miss the fucking spaghetti dinner and once you don't do the dishes or something you're getting whacked on the side of the fucking head what i was thinking about that today like the fuck do these guys do they i didn't know he was such a gentle guy fucking they snap we snap everybody fucking snaps things are bad out there but like how much like do you think like baseball players just have a girl in every city because they only work like four hours a day five hours a day and then they're in hotels constantly like do you think any of them are

faithful to their wives surely only you do yeah you know what kills these players they think about how much money they're gonna lose if they fuck somebody else and get caught that's always gotta be a deterrent that always has to be a deterrent in your back of your mind if you're making 92 million dollars a year that your wife that's the whole one and you gotta love your fucking wife you know what i was just looking up because i was trying to figure out who had more money hulk hogan or the rock like that's what that was something i decided to look up has to be the rock and i it is like his net worth is up there and like hulk hogan's like i had imagined but it would be and it was only eight million i was like well that seems impossible after after everything

he's done so i read up about it and in 2007 he got divorced and his wife took like 70 percent of everything so that because there shouldn't have been that much of a gap like the rocks and you know the three figures i was just trying to think who the most famous wrestlers are and how much well we had a couple of music we had dean delray and rudy sarzowan recently and when they were talking about like the music business do you see today the article about the creed frontman who's like broke and living in a holiday inn or something really yeah and he sold like i said like a hundred million records and granted they said he's on drugs so i mean i guess that could go through anything but jesus like when you hear that kind of money you don't think they could ever be broke right

that album sold unbelieve human clay or something yeah higher on it yeah jesus christ everybody had that album the fucking music business they just rob you and the tours and all the public appearances he did for three four years on that fucking songs with lives wide open oh right those are public appearances at fifty dollars a fucking ticket and you know live nation all this fucking money but they don't you know i you don't know i just two weeks ago in a hotel i ended up watching behind the music and it was tlc and they were shooting fucking million dollar videos and not knowing this gets built this gets built somebody has to pay for this right but some people are just so fucking confused then you cut deals you never we negotiate but those first couple album deals you're pretty

much working just to stay eating like i said i had there was somebody in the building when i lived on Gardner that they were opening up for limp biscuit and the kid was broke and i was talking to him there are you serious as i get first all there's six of us in the fucking band all right then we tour and then we're shooting the album they're charging us for studio time yeah they throw you out 300 000 on advance but there's a guy that you gotta show up with a fucking receipt to give you a check it's not you're not gonna go up to him go i need a car by the way you're gonna get a fucking car with this 300 000 you know shit like that it's fucking tough so i i could just imagine money goes guys money fucking goes okay you're a front man whatever a tv guy you're pulling down 100 200

thousand dollars a fucking month that's just average you know that's just fucking average 200 000 a month you know what kind of house you're gonna live are you gonna buy a home or you're gonna fucking just rent one for a couple of years right at 15 000 a month your cars you're this you're that that adds up guys then there's a special thing called fucking taxes and you don't fucking know about those things and you you you you you you gotta check you do a movie or you do three days on a fucking job and you're supposed to gross a thousand dollars and you're bringing home six or five eighty it's 30 percent and then you fucking go home and then they send your bill at the end of the fucking year and you sit there and go what about the 400 you took out of my fucking check you know that's

how i think you sit there and go what the fuck is going on and then everything you do you gotta pay for now you know everything you fucking do you know we're about to go into hell in two years with this little girl oh man so this is recreation right you know when you were a kid in jersey your dad walked you to nutley rec and or the beach rec you signed in you showed him your birth certificate they give you a t-shirt and all your dad had to buy you a fucking sneakers for 10 bucks and you played soccer or baseball basketball whatever the fuck it is now now i go down there with you there's a sign-up fee 110 dollars and 62 for the shirt and 30 for the knee pads because you gotta have knee pads and elbow pads that's mandatory from the state insurance now and they gotta be a class

three fucking bush because if not they're not safety hazard for the fucking it's it's unbelievable where the state used to pick all this shit up when we were growing up what you did was show up all you did was show the fuck up now you gotta show up with your own fucking equipment you know what's the median what's the medium household level in this country 40 g's dirty g's what the fucking you expect to survive on right you got rent you got child care unless you got a mother that's babysitting and she's happened to fucking bag every day smoking cigarettes blowing cancer on your kid you know watching the price is right you know but she don't give a fuck about sessomy street so this is what your options are sure you don't have a fucking chance i see it i see it now sitting

here going you know we went and looked at daycare you guys think i'm a fucking half a daycare is astronomical astronomical for you for for a house of two house of one it's a fucking it's a big so it never ends it never fucking ends guys you know i flew last week it was seven hundred and twenty three dollars to sit in the back from la to philly seven hundred and twenty three dollars imagine a family of four going back for the holidays three grand three grand without luggage trees without rental car it's amazing how a family's gonna do anything you can't go to a legged game you can't go to a fucking dodger game yeah you know when we were kids it was fifteen dollars and if you took the fucking ten fucking pepsi caps they gave you ten dollars off and

shit like that you came up with five coke cans you know and i'm nowhere near ready for this but i've i've always been the kind of person who's wanted kids like i like kids the more and more i talk to people and the more and more i see how much it costs i don't know i mean maybe it wouldn't be nice to just go and like if paul and i are doing well just go to hawaii i mean that sounds selfish but with the amount of money they're talking about i mean it's kind of crazy when you think about it hawaii is for two weeks a child lasts forever that's true little fucking stone you can't compare you cannot compare it you cannot compare it especially now that i sit here and telling you this i wouldn't be talking to you like this three years ago really i was an anti child

that you know i was an anti child i understand it i get it you know you're gonna you're gonna have a child you're gonna give some child love to live in debt and disparity and not know we already have a lot of fucking doubts as it is yeah it's tough out there i can't see now what happened now if i would have planned that i would have never happened right without the scene or in touch and now i got a commitment to it is that why you want to go back to useful holidays because like seeing her experience it this is this is death yeah the poor girl from fucking or at least you went to bubblegum where you from mr p okay and you guys went to fucking mr fucking bubblegum yeah you wouldn't you wouldn't even fucking to walk and walk into bubblegums if you went jersey

oh my god one of your goomba's house or worst case scenario mr breakfast right got two eggs fucking right there that's the best fucking breakfast in the country those polluted eggs with marlboro ashes on them that's as good as it gets nobody goes in there because they're gluten-free they'll knock the fuck out of you mr verton nobody knows what that is they'll smack you with the menu try again bam try again two pancakes let me get some almond milk bam we got whole milk here 16 percent you're going you're gonna get cancer but you're gonna live fuck it how we're gonna do this milk let me get a macochino bam that's it regular milk and sugar that's how we do it here coffee right fucking morons fucking morons you know it's just uh and then christmas comes along it's 82 degrees

i know i'm thankful to be alive i'm thankful to be happy but even nobody these fucking months even if they invite you over they'll give you like artichoke dip right like that shit spinning handsome spinach dip do you know it's two days away from christmas where's the fucking festival the seven fish right yes where's the seven fish bust out some shrimp not those little ones either i'll stab me in the fucking neck if you don't have them call me and i'll stop in gelson's i'll get you the medium ones so we don't sit around looking at each other like we've never eaten fucking shrimp before okay where's the feast where's just simple things you go to the fucking house every time i go to somebody's house and have that artichoke dip i just look at my wife listen

get the jacket get the kid these muts don't know how to fucking live they're gonna hit you with artichoke dip what am i what's my last name charles right it's my first name charles the fuck artichoke dip get that shit out of here and don't show up with fucking nachos with cream cheese and fucking that red sauce because i'll stab you in the lung too come on jazz it up a little bit it's 2014 there's gotta be some fucking recipe in a gardening magazine a neck roll with a chicken foot in it something a fucking fried zucchini you're gonna show up with artichoke dip and nachos and people love them listen what type of ppu hang with the fuck out of here you fucking muts i'm certain yeah that's not exactly no that's what i eat out here that's a good show up point

i got couscous listen let me tell you something i want couscous like i want fucking you're fucking jack off bring out the heat bring out some spicy shrimp something some monogot cut into little things with toothpicks in it be fucking creative i went to a friend's house when he got monogot and he cut them into like he he hardened them when they get a little hard and he cut them so you picked up that they would stay in there and you just pop it like a fucking olive come on that's fucking genius be creative it's 2014 you're gonna show up with that artichoke dip with leaves in it like i'm impressed i don't give a fuck i don't give a fuck what it is come on or how about when it's the loaf of bread that's hollowed out and then the

dip is in it it's 2004 and there's always like a hair what happened today where were you with a they had brought a dog to the restaurant the fucking place on magnolia and it wasn't like a french point i'm getting aggravated with this shit now you're starting to look listen one thing about me is i smoke reefer and i don't smoke reefer because i want to be cool or i want to be hip i smoke reefer because it fills the void i'm also a social misfit but when i smoke reefer balances me out but that doesn't mean i'm gonna walk into the restaurant with the world's biggest fucking joint and puff on it while i eat my fucking breakfast i would never do that to you right why would you bring okay it's cute you want to bring your little french poodle your father finger fucked you when

you were four i'm supposed to feel fucking bad for you all right you want to bring the dog in because it makes you feel better it makes you forget about that bad memory really i'm supposed to buy this now when i see him on planes i look at him and i give the dog the evil eye because if they shit on the plane they have to land this plane i'm gonna be fucking pissed off i'm gonna say things i'm gonna fucking say a bunch of fucking dirty things you know i'm a social misfit that's why i smoke weed right to balance with me out to make give me the appearance that i'm walking in there people aren't staring at me when i'm walking in there people aren't saying look at that fat dude you know when i walk into a place that's what i feel also i've always felt insecure with the reefer

it turns the voices off right i don't hear what they're saying right they're not saying anything right but in my head they're saying something do you understand me look at that guy he's got a felony look at that guy that's just the way life is sometimes and i got that from you know being spanish when i was a kid i'd always thought that they were like looking at me because i was spamming look at that fucking dude on the corner whatever he's about to rob somebody something so that's me so i'm a social misfit so i get your misfits just break down what walking in here with a fucking german chef is going to do for you how do you feel safe with a german chef at a breakfast place we had a breakfast fucking place you might as well bring a dinosaur with you you know what i'm saying

you might as well bring a dragon with you that's it i'm just you know i knew you were mad because you never tweet outside the house no you tweeted home in the morning and maybe at night it was the no no first the first first the first couple came and it's not you know it's not the woman's fault that she's a moron it's the guy's fault for not telling her come here i gotta talk to you for a second today we're gonna leave the dog at the house enough enough i got you i got you hold on to my fucking hand all right but you're not bringing the fucking dog today you know it's you fucking idiots fault because you're not telling these fucking dumb girls that it doesn't they think like it's cute to have sunglasses on that wasn't it first the german shepherd came first his big dog came

and she sat him in the corner then three minutes later that gave some other moron walking by the right to bring his german shepherd so guess what happens when he walks through his german shepherd on the thing they go they start barking and start fighting amongst each other this idiot takes his german shepherd and tries to walk him in the restaurant he looks right at mercy and he starts growling at mercy i go fucking but i got the knife in my hand ready to throw like a martial art guy i throw a fucking knife right in his face you know i don't give a fuck when it comes to mercy all bets are off that's where it ends i don't call the cop i thought you know fuck the guy in ferguson this is it i thought i thought and that's all this that's what happened

to the guy in ferguson he overreacted that's what i would have done i would have overreacted i just would have thrown the fucking knife i'm gonna nip the bud before it even gets anywhere again back to they should have stopped hitler and munich that's it right or wrong right gotta nip the bud fucking early on when i went to the holiday festival we were having right well let's talk about how my holiday started last night why did your holiday start yes what happened so we were at the ice house thinking everyone who came out how about another edible leaf no just a little bit just a little corner tonight just a corner it's it's fucking thanks givenly fine jesus christ down down i think they get down so i'm about a quarter that's it that's

fine just to get the blood going the blood's going you're at three listen right now we could you could take the rest of the week off and we could start december second and do 30 for 30 i'm not doing right now you're at three days we're going straight why not we're going this is all you need to look at i don't want you to know just eat a quarter these are the weak ones they're not we this is the assistant to the assistant to the assistant chef okay so it is chef isn't fucking florida we finished the show i'm highest can be joey's on two edibles before the show and then one that i know about at the show so i know he's blasted he's doing about 90 and the the road but it's kind of like that when in star wars when they go into hyperspace that's not a quarter that's cool when it goes from

being dots to lines when it goes to lines and that's basically all i'm seeing and joey's saying in a every song that comes on is like a classic to joey oh everything they were throwing heat left they were throwing heat he's singing doing 90 beeping at people and saying like fuck you corolla and then because i was paranoid i was like oh cops are gonna pull us over the night before thanksgiving and and on clockwork two cops pull up right beside us and they just go past and joey lane joey looks at me smiles and goes beep beep beep he's just screaming doing 90 behind come back come back i got the almond brothers on cock suckers eat that edible lead don't make me just slip it there you go in the name of christ what did she say to him at the exorcist uh whatever

the power of christ compels you there you go that's how we do it my brother mr p i got turkey sandwiches here for you with a coca-cola i got your dog you don't have to sit there all cotton mouth i got a coke zero for you i got turkeys on white wonderbread i don't fuck around i ain't gonna show up with some generic fucking brand i got helman's mayonnaise old school you understand me a little salt and pepper absolutely you know i got it right for you though i was gonna put the stuffing on for you yeah well this is one of these to go it's got your name on and i'm laughing hysteria beyond control and he'll like i'm just looking at him and then i i think of you guys i think okay let me film this i'll put it online it doesn't come out because

it's so dark i put i figure i had to put the flash on i'm blind he looks like what are you doing and i didn't think it was gonna be that bright so i turn it off and then every 30 seconds he just looks at me goes ah suckers oh my god i was so high i had a i had a green hornet what is that i had a green hornet a 70 milligram dummy i opened up one of those about 330 because i bought a decker a 70 milligram and i bought a green hornet right so i popped the green hornet when i walked out of the weed store bam early on i'm like why am i doing this to myself just breathe there and i call me and i go leave we're going deep and at least i got him i ain't fucking yeah whatever i'm sitting on the couch at about 5 30 and i am fucking blasted and he started texting

me deep deep the capital letters one word i am fucking blasted i'm sitting there i'm nodding out and shit i'm like oh this is terrible i didn't have a gumi bachelor either half a one it was really strong then i'm sitting on board and i'm like fuck it the only time it's gonna wake me up is another one so i blasted a decker a buck 80 and i drank a cup of coffee so that's 250 that's 250 and then i split the 70 with you yeah so 285 285 i was gone and i didn't have decas and when you don't eat a certain label the tolerance picks up again right so we've been eating so kinds so now we switched it up back to chi but you right right that fucking level back up so for 30 days i'm gonna be throwing heat at your dog we're already at day three we've got 27 left

yeah you might as well 30 for 30 we just gotta go get a blogging my mom my mom's coming in a couple that's even better we got stoned we take her out for lunch good giant fucking stoned to the gills we'll take it to the italian place i didn't even tell you what happened to me last night when i was stoned it was embarrassing but luckily nothing really happened so i was standing outside after the show and a few people i'm still not used to people asking for pictures with me because it just doesn't make sense you were smoking dope outside well you smoke hash oh that was hash yeah yeah i think no wonder i was so fucking high so i was just standing and talking to people while joey was taking pictures and this guy came up to me he said so would you mind taking a picture

and i said no of course because i thought he wanted with me hands me the camera he goes out here's a comedian that older guy and i was like oh there goes like because like i'm not a comedian so being on stage is like it's still it's exciting for me and the fact that anyone wants my pictures like suits like beyond cool and so i was like oh yeah i'll take a picture with you and then he walked and goes and puts his arm around him like oh who's the oh like here's a he wanted a picture with joey to take to take the picture i almost went like this to do a selfie oh my god luckily i didn't but like the highness in my mind was just like yeah he wants a picture with a flying jew or something and he didn't at all he had no idea who i was that's great by that point outside i was just

fucking stone i don't know what it was vicki pezza i was just gone and we got in the car and i was like i just want to get home right but i got the giggle you know i was talking about in philly last week i spoke about how i was very fortunate what happened to me later on getting locked up my mom dying that was but i had a fucking great childhood and i had a very spontaneous childhood a childhood that i'd be with people and they were jersey crazy right there's crazy and then there's jersey crazy it's crazy with love and it's crazy that you laugh your ass off right and that's a gift that somebody gave me that they could make me laugh my i love that there's nothing like laughing nothing like really fucking almost dying like oh my god oh my god like last night i was laughing

in my sleep i think about lee sometime i laugh because he doesn't know how fucking much he makes me laugh right like last night on the drive you know if you took both of us and put them in two rooms you described the ride last night i wanted to be crazy i'm 51 years old i'm on my last leg but the reason why i get along with lee that little area of us i get them high every night is because again it balances us out we're both 26 lee knows i'm a child right lee knows i'm an asshole but when i'm not an asshole i'm a child lee knows lee knows my deepest secrets that i will call lee at two in the morning giggling howling at some joke and drop it on lee drop it lee knows that my mind works i'm a fucking comedian i know how to make myself fucking out i know how to call

lee and tell lee what i'm living you know like the time i ate i got really high and told me this is the cookie that uh the guy ate when he got lost at that radio guy yeah the radio guy that got on the plane and they ended up in dc kasey kasey kasey i was so high watching tv that i got involved with kasey kasey i'm looking at kasey kasey going oh he must have got one of these cookies and i'm calling lee telling lee and lee must be at home going i just want to live my life why is he calling me every hour but then he called me because the same night the president of israel was coming he had already called me about kasey kasey he was like dog the president of israel knows about these cookies that's why he's showing up like i'm crazy the the reefer goes into my head

too right and that's that's the whole part of being a stoner the best one was when you called me it was after one it was after one time we had an edible and you call me up and we were both stoned and you're like i can't get out of the chair you know i'm too high and you're like maybe i'll grow wings and fly to the to the bed and i just started laughing i'm like you don't have wings you're like yes i do cocksucker lee knows that i go into a thc psychosis and about anybody who calls me after 11 30 you're crazy sometimes makes weed and an e-cigarette and an edible i'm done right like that is the craziest that's when i write jokes yeah yeah that's when brilliance comes out that's when just it's something fucking crazy it's amazing when the other day i was walking to the

ymca stone to the gills but i did not want to go to jiu-jitsu i did not want to drive on a little cane in the car on wednesday it was 80 degrees 11 in the morning in beautiful los angeles and i and i walked to the fucking gym and the first thing i do is get on the bike and i press the weight loss monitor was just completely different than getting on there i'm just manual because it's making you work and i'm sweating vicky paza and i'm thinking about breathing just breathe joey and you'll be fine i'm sweating and i want to get off my hands are tingly the diabetes is acting up i don't have diabetes but everything you so you want to die you want to fucking die you want to die when you're a fat guy and you're overweight and your knee hurts and i'm on this

sometimes and i was going to quit at the eight minute mark and all of a sudden i'm like wait a second fucking cosby is probably in hiding right now thinking about thank god they shot that black it buys me one more week to fuck some hoes and that's how the joke started in my head and right then and then i was to the 17 minute mark and i was done guys right i was done now that's it i'm like i'm not even breathing heavy no more i'm not even breathing fucking heavy no more i could do the 35 minutes that was the original plan but at the eight minute mark i thought i was gonna fucking die yeah i thought i was gonna fucking die ladies and gentlemen and all of a sudden Bill Cosby came into my mind right and dropped him pills on women and all these scenarios and i'm

like he must be fucking thankful that the verdict came back because this buys him a week until they get back to you know also we settled the riots back to Cosby back to the 28 bitches that have shown up you know but that's what happens to your mind when you get on that fucking gimme the gambling juice that's why i tell fucko before you go to 24 hour fitness it is one of those gummy bears i tried once coming from here i almost fell off but i just looked at my phone because my favorite is he'll be the last call because he makes sure i get home okay but then he calls to mess with me i got a call from you at 11 33 and then 6 33 this morning because he always did the last high one but then when he sovers up and i sober up he calls me like how you doing dog and i'm i'm still high

i was still high until about three o'clock today and he just loves he loves hearing me say like i'm still high because i hear crack up i'll be like he's like what did you have last night i was like i had a turkey sandwich rice cakes string cheese a bolachirio rice cake and he's just laughing he's like oh last night on the phone i was literally making my rice cakes he's like you couldn't pay me those rice patties and i'm in the kitchen in my underwear putting hummus on rice cakes high out of my mind just laughing do you do you smoke like on your own at home or do you pretty much only only yeah that's why he kills himself yeah that's so funny i don't i don't dislike i actually went and got my license because i thought i was gonna need i was gonna go and get

high but i don't think anyone understands how high i get it's like i can't the worst one was when you took me to san jose to a year or two ago oh my god and he gave me so many edibles and then these freaking kid guys came out they're like we name this train after you have to smoke it with us and then they can then someone always brings him this gluten-free edible and he always i always have to have a bite him and butch ask a bar the guy who opened for him were just walking me and eddie bravo was there and i was just following you like a zombie to uh original original joes it took me 45 minutes to get the courage to get the guiding past me the butter i was i can't i can't talk the these these edibles are probably what eight doses in one

or something you're as tough as nails you're from the fucking strongest jew tribe that ever came out of israel you understand me when you eat these edibles that's what you gotta tell yourself this shit ain't gonna do dick to me i'm bulletproof i'm fucking uh slap rock the superman what's superman allergic to crypto night don't quit the night it goes the fuck you know what i'm saying ricky puzzle what's the did you have any like crazy motherfuckers in your neighborhood that when you went out with them they always made the night that much better like they just made the night at some point tonight yeah i mean i everybody i knew in new jersey like the town where i was from was so awesome and there's always different groups of people like i always

hung out with people where we'd go to do you remember in norc the pipeline do you remember a place called the pipeline in norc that was like a club that was but it was like a punk rock club but it ended up getting shut down which i guess you know i probably shouldn't have been hanging out there right like that was probably a part of it that we're all like underage hanging out this club but everything there was fucking i was just telling uh letting the other the other day how when i was a real little kid there was a friend on my street who like the fbi like showed up at her house said like her dad like ended up going to jail because he was like low level mafia you know but she would say things in front of our family that was just normal to her but in hindsight

it's like oh wait that's weird like she was telling us a story once and talking about how like you know like when her dad goes to claremass to like use the pay phone and it's like why why would you be why would you be leaving your house to use a pay phone because like all these people are involved with with like the mob it's still like that it's crazy there his stepfather wouldn't talk in a room with phones in the room really he was very paranoid of phones to thirty five years ago that's a man and now i sit there and go wow yeah he was on the same right right you know i uh had a friend years ago that worked for the fbi and now he got into public secure private security about 15 years ago and i talked to him now about once a year but when he worked for the fbi

we were talking and he was telling me so many fucked up stories but in particular he was telling me mob stories about new york he's an older gentleman and he was telling me when when the cops when the feds got gaudy that they had bugged the cells you know listen when the feds are after you they do what they do to get you yeah you know they talk about all this stuff how they got the the wiretap for whatever sorority's apartment how they found out about you know but they would they would bug the jail cells you know a lot of cases are made in the jail cell right a lot of people never know that how that's why the the first thing your attorney tells you when you got arrested is keep them out shut inside if somebody asks you what you're in there for say you have no idea

you know they they have microphones everywhere they set cops in there sometimes they'll send a cop and they'll talk to lisa for lee to tell them what happened what happened and you tell them a year later you go to court what happened lisa this is what happened not to uh you told an arresting officer joey deas i don't know i don't sound like a walk in you know i right did you take the stand your attorney told you don't say nothing your attorney told you don't say nothing but they were bugging the cells at the metropolitan new york center you know they were bugging the cells so you have to always like now when i i think about my stepfather he wasn't crazy right yeah he was he wasn't crazy he said that the phones could listen to you even if you weren't there

inside the phone and maybe he was a little fucking paranoid you know maybe he was wrong but he was right because they could listen to you to thousands of methods i don't know why i was selling coke the cop was telling me they could point something at your glass and hear your conversation through the fucking glass yeah so they'll put earphones on and point this fucking thing at your glass like a light and they could hear what we're talking about in here they have a thousand ways especially now now you have no privacy yeah you have no privacy whatsoever they got your cell phone they got your numbers they got your emails they got your fucking passwords they got us where we want where they want to have us yeah they own us they're gonna shut down this

system one day and there's not gonna be no more fucking way that your ATM is not gonna work they got us now they got us that's terrorism terrorism is not blowing up a building it's shutting this down now and we're walking around with no fucking doubt and the gas and our gas tank is all we got and the bank is like we have no records of your fucking nothing well i have eight hundred thousand dollars in here that i saved and my family and we don't have no record what would you do Lee i don't know i uh i and i'm stupid because i usually i have like 20 bucks in cash on me right now i usually don't even use i just use a credit card yeah your generation was you know grew up my mother they have all your information now you know when you book a flight now you could leave your

credit card in there and click the number like i do i just click the number charge that card they have everything that's why i keep seeing commercials for uh apple pay where the credit cards on your phone and we had red band on here we was talking about how it's it's very secure every store now has gotten hacked phones can all these celebrities are getting their phones hacked yeah that's crazy that's one thing i don't want to have on my phone like it doesn't bother me that much to have my credit card on me and then sometimes i don't even think about it but you know how gas stations they have those things they put over the actual swiper so that when you swipe it you could they get all your information like you have to be careful at gas stations they have they have devices

they can put over the like yeah people people um outsiders come in and to come in and then servers are stealing your credit card numbers now i mean it's just it's it's scary and i i check my stuff now and it happened one some one this time someone tried to buy like six hundred dollars at online clothing places really and they they stopped it but they i mean the guy the people got the stuff really yeah they took it that far yeah i mean if you go and buy something then you have it and then luckily credit card companies have insurance probably so well now everybody's got a camera now right right you know 35 years ago if you did credit card for where you walk into was uh you know your 50 50 chance to have a camera yeah and even if they did have a camera you know that

film success that film success that's just a purpose they buy for security purposes and when they're buying the camera the insurance gives you 10% off but even the camera people like listen they're just insurance if you want get the 3x film you're never gonna catch people through this shit so it's a 50 50 if i think now if you do a crime in a mall with a credit card they'll catch you eventually because there's footage of you everywhere yeah there's cameras everywhere so something i haven't heard them talk about are they gonna go after and arrest like the looters in Ferguson like the people who are in the stores are burning cars you know right now right now those people are sitting there in a back room thinking after we stop all the fucking violence

then we're gonna prosecute they're not thinking about anything only they're thinking about how to stop this nobody's sitting there going after all this is done how are we gonna get these people to prosecute how the fuck do you think they're gonna get them leave they're doing this shit at night yeah but they this is self cameras like inside the stores they're going in they're going in with hoods only they're way ahead of you the bandana's over the face these are professionally they don't even these are professional looters they're not thinking about fucking prosecution they're thinking of stopping this fucking violence and stopping to demonstrate are they demonstrating this evening yeah i don't know is it i think

they fucking never take this shit out of me that's a mess go celebrate get a six pack stay home give us a prayer for michael brown why the can but you're way fucking better off you know that's right i said a prayer for the poor fucking kid when the verdict came up what are you gonna do yeah today i was thankful of a friend of mine i was thankful of this kid named jimmy lebrano his name is lubes and it's funny because the two closest personality people in my life right now are him and lubes lee and lubes are close hysterically they both stutter they both you know i always stutter when you get me high i both fucked them up but you know it was just a beautiful thing and it's weird how my friend lubes used to be a popular kid but over the years i think i left

there in 82 right when i went back in 85 for a year and then i fucked up my left and i came back in 94 so something must have happened with him you know so i didn't know i know he got busted for selling coke and all this but a lot of people that we all grew up that were tight stay away from him and i'll say you talk to lubes uh he's missing the tooth now you know from the drug use but he was at home with his mother and he never hurt anybody he's one of the best guys i ever met my best people ever and it's weird how i thought about i'm telling i called him this morning because in all those years i was having a hard time in jersey he always had my back he's just one of those people that always had my back like he passed i can't even describe it from 16 to

you know even to 94 like all i had to do was call like there was never a hesitation that was never well i can't i don't feel good this motherfucker was always ready at the drop of time and to make money oh he always knew how to make money like we would get with joe i got this kid he wants to buy a quarter round so i don't know where to go let's go into the city we'll split the profits he was always one of these guys you know and uh i'm really thankful for him that he always had my back you know like i was just like i don't know it was just weird vicky pezza sometimes you have a friend yeah you think back about somebody how's he doing called him today you know he's he's good he what are you doing yeah told me smoke to join his family came over he always breaks his menu down

you know he lives at home with his mother never left 50 years old wow that's in jersey any more of these things luckily can you get me one for your uncle joe yeah just one of them he still lives at home with his mother you know what school did he go to MIT right uh the new jersey the new jersey institute technology oh and JIT yeah he's like a fucking yeah he's a badass motherfucker that's crazy yeah and he said he's a fucking he's the real deal he just you know we all grew up in that area with that fucking coke if anybody's seen the documentary that joe united he's the guy who bit the wrestler on when he was on THC crystal at the like christmas wrestling tournament THC crystal was like angel dust and we were doing angel dust

in high school that's crazy and he bit a wrestler he bit the guy he got disqualified from the fucking match because he was too high i mean we used to get fucking sizzled but it's just how time flies and you're a forgotten guy i've always been underdogs i've always been a fan of underdogs yeah anybody can hang out with the quarterback you know who says hello the tau guy right i'm the type of guy right the tau guy you know i know that that guy's thinking about something he's the most dangerous guy he ain't saying much he's just shut up thinking lisa at what's happening coxsuck what are you thankful for so much it's been a it's been a crazy year it's been scary like just and then it's been this is it's been like a year since i've had like a day job so that's been really cool

i mean it just and sometimes people's like this guy said to me last night it's like you have no idea how how lucky you are to be with joey and like that drive home last night was just that that would never happen to anybody first of all they don't know how lucky i am to have you forget how lucky you gotta hang with joey any fucking moron can hang with joey you just do it right you just do it the right way that's my little brother jack this guy's a savage he right he's tremendous he's tremendous the fact you have no idea you have no idea what the education he's getting like a real and i'm so proud that i'm able to to to help him but it's it's a different type some people try to sell you that bullshit i don't sell you my bullshit i mentioned it to

and i let him see it for himself and i loved one after a week ago i've been meaning to tell you something i saw this guy talking about this you're right and he sees it right you know it's a it's a it's an education for me to have him around because it keeps me in check when i got to explain to him about something to move we're trying to make it's very interesting it's very interesting his perspective you know rake canella who's a dear friend of ours we had him here last week and he goes i've learned more about the future from watching my daughters i learned about the future from looking at leah and what lee likes what he doesn't like you know because i was completely out of touch i'm completely out of touch completely lead

i come to somebody call me today like you're watching the game what game i got a wife and a kid i'm trying to write jokes what game are you fucking talking about that's so fucking great he called me i never know anything i was driving to paulus for thanksgiving he called me like i finally realized why i don't like football anymore because he was pissed that just the thought that any Dallas cowboy team could be losing because on thanksgiving day that's like fucking you know that's why ices is attacking that's why all these things are bolder that's why we have all these things that you sit there and go how is this happening because mark sanchez was going fucking nuts throwing him into he got him into

the red zone 18 times they just couldn't stop him down there i'm trying to watch this shit i was so angry i went and took a nap that's how angry i was i'm like that's thanksgiving day Dallas should be steamrolling these motherfuckers steamrolling them kicking a field goal and winning by one point covering by four they were given three this isn't the way i was raised you know right but that's how out of touch i am Dallas is fucking losing on thanksgiving day it was always d&d Dallas in Detroit on Christmas on thanksgiving day that's been a given since day one yeah that's the parlay you're fucking through in and you went to the bond got a gram on the arm let me get a gbo on the arm for an hour the giants are gonna win don't worry about that

the Dallas Cowboys if you want turkey sandwich mr p it's got your fucking name on and the bread vegan free gluten free it's got everything oh we got it in jerseys it's got cancer it was made out to new jersey wonder bread you ever go to new jersey wonder bread when you hostess no that went off of route three and clifton you want everything was like ten cents cheaper but you thought you were getting a fucking deal like people like i just got a hostess kid yeah but you didn't get it down from the fucking outlet speaking of deals are you going to black Friday shopping tomorrow yeah in fact i'm gonna go home do some met and i'm gonna stay up all night and at six a.m i'm gonna roller skate down a Walmart and tackle some motherfuckers and bite them like vampires

listen i don't christmas shop to the 24th let's go real quick come on the 24th after everything's gone that's when i show up with a big dick and a big smile on my face what bitches fucking who's gonna go out shopping tomorrow with the fuck there's one word in your life there's one word that if you people aren't on it you're fucking slipping because every time i go on it i learn something that's a thing called amazon i didn't even know they got everything coconut water coconut they got a coconut dick on there that squirts coconut milk in your asshole just in case you want to solidify your esophagus so whatever the fuck you want to do part time they got everything on amazon do you understand me and you know what amazon ships you people

fucking know that that amazon ships and they wrap it for you too and they wrap it for you if you need to movies dirty movies you got a body they'll pick up a fucking body amazon now they got to pick up the fucking body program did you know that so when you have these things available to you why would you create because it's something to do me parking in a mall and walking four miles and getting in the mall and smelling that stink because every mall now has that stink of cologne over armpit oh my god over fucking yeah just a universal city walk every mall it was all open at bubba gump and and that it just it just reeks where he's like it's waft again it just smells like man's cologne cologne cologne over sweat over that fucking barbaric stink armpit and the old

pretzels filthy motherfuckers and you breathe that shit and you get that shit on your body you're getting your car and you're like i still smell that shit it takes you home it's like a good fart if you smell somebody's fart and you can still smell your nose you're mad at that person for a few days be like dog that shit was off the chain that shit was on fire what was in your asshole but when you smell somebody's body odor and it sinks into you and every mall now in america i'm not accusing nobody you know who the fuck you are you stinky bastards you got to put deodorant in this fucking country he really does don't make me put the natural anthem and do the whole deodorant thing it's piss me off and i'm getting a little sick and tired of this shit you know what i've seen

tonight i'll tell you no no don't put it on because i get too fired up i can't get fired my wife won't put up with me i gotta have shit to do after the national anthem today when i was driving to my buddy's house i saw a fucking starbucks on laurel kanging open that's the first time i had an urge to have a gun pull up in front of a place and just empty that motherfucker like like some kid shooter at a high school or some shit you think i'm kidding and i would have been justified there would have been some attorney when it came forward tonight and he would have understood my pain right on laurel kanging and fucking uh riverside riverside brodie stevens starbucks that's where brodie's in there giving all the grass taking fucking dammeralls new shit with what's that that place there yeah

and you want me to tell you something there was like 16 people in there hell yeah i was livid because that's where that's why we're raising pussies see in jersey you're at the neighborhood bar eat one of those old turkey they have these things in jersey they have these things like this filled when you go to a bar in jersey yes they have these things filled cut in half nice but they have a stick over here and you pick them up and for some reason the fly always gets in there and he won't leave so why are you looking at what sandwich you're gonna pick you can see the fly going from sandwich to sandwich and even once you pick one up and go over the fly hasn't really he was only on this sandwich for six minutes once you take that one and put the thing down

the fly pops back up like he knows to lay low in the fucking sandwich container that's the type of places i don't know that's why i don't worry about my new shit hiv i ate one of those sandwiches that fly shit on them oh i give a fuck and those same bars too will have a they'll have on st patrick's day the uh core beefy cat oh by the time you got there it's all brown the juice they used to have these fucking sandwiches the people at a bar would have a little oven and these sandwiches were already pre-made and all they had to do was open the bag and put them in the oven i forget the name of the sandwich everybody remembers twitter to me i forget the fucking name like the cheese burgers in a bag and so yes delicious they had a ham and cheese that was delicious you definitely

get cancer definitely get cancer i don't know what was it was like those it has all the sodium in it yeah what's the what's the thing you make when you're a little girl popping fresh dough remember when you were a little girl now you can make your own pies in that oven easy bake oven easy bake oven it was one of those but only with a with a with a bigger light bulb like a Puerto Rican fail listen don't tell nobody i got an easy bake oven but this should have cooked a fucking fish just put one of those strong light bulbs in there happy thanksgiving to everybody give thanks today we're here with family vicky peasant new jersey did you call your family vicky p oh yeah yeah i got to everybody oh everybody well my sister just got engaged so my parents went over

to uh the the fiance's house like their family which so this is crazy for my mother not to cook on thanksgiving it's the first thanksgiving i know of where she's not cooking you know what i mean it's nuts to go over someone else's house and it's funny because when people get engaged in jerse like in laws like yours your parents didn't go over there to meet the parents they went over to make sure they got dough and that they're acceptable right you know oh they travel more than they do so you go to Atlantic City we used to have Atlantic City we don't like Atlantic City come on they choose now we go down to Smurdo Beach because everybody's trying to outdo everybody in Jersey we don't go to Atlantic City no more you could smell the cancer in the air we go to Green Point North Carolina

is it not fabulous it's fabulous we found the guy that makes black beans that's hilarious do you do the thing where i called my dad and my mom and i got the phone passed around to everybody yes that's always the way yeah that's always the way you make one sometimes i could just get away with one phone call because they're all together but now usually it's like at least two because i gotta call my aunt you know and her son my cousin you know oh my god yeah it's crazy it's crazy over there my cousin's about to have a baby like my cousin's girlfriend is about to have a baby the due date was yesterday it's her first pregnancy he's younger than me like i'm so excited this is the first baby in my family

because i didn't have one did you my sister did yeah did you like that when you were a kid because when i was a kid i hated it like my cousins would annoy me everyone would fight oh thanks giving yeah the food would always be like there's something i wouldn't like and i would hate it but now looking back i kind of miss it like i wish i was there with him yeah as opposed to that that chair is ruined you're white and you're not wearing underwear what are you wearing underwear do you know what's crazy i felt the back of my shirt go up i really did i felt the back of my shirt that was tremendous turkey pressure it doesn't smell it doesn't smell yes it does you always say your first

son's smell that was dude with all the weed you eat and the protein and then you just you ate like four turkeys oh my god oh my god that was a tremendous i felt my shirt go up um let's give some shout outs and shit we got this party started happy thanks given to matt balsar noberto my favorite Puerto rican callabe smith nick pit kyle comatose blizzard 1998 johnny fun buckets and johnny cutler i love you cocksuckers don't forget we're live at the long beach of lat factory december 17th cent lazaro's birthday and with new year's eve at the fucking uh ice house that's right cocksuckers we don't fuck around stage two show starts at eight you're out of there by fucking 10 15 you go eat ass you go go home that's what i would do i would

never stay out on fucking new years you do the fucking early thing go get dinner go laugh a little bit go smoke park or watch a band at 10 o'clock you're on your way home to give a little stab get some strawberries right get a little whipped cream shoveled up her asshole when was the last time you shoved the strawberry up somebody's ass on a holiday on the holiday never on a holiday never as i'm talking about leave your fucking slipping cocksucker when was the last time you shoved the strawberry up somebody's asshole 22 years ago i strove me it was a tremendous holiday she was black i had $15 she had time that's it no i haven't shoved the strawberry up somebody's ass in many years you know what's up vicky p what's going on in your life lately you don't call you

don't write oh man what's going on with the podcast you're still producing uh yeah i'm still doing point versus point with evan evan a man and gareth reynolds i'm so high i almost said the reverse last names for them right yeah we had two of the biggest joints that anyone's ever had and that's only it's bad weed no this tremendous weed yeah the one the one was good and i was like oh my god like man i'm really high when then the second joint came out and what can i do it's Thanksgiving one was black russian which i took to philadelphia with me i took a sativa to philadelphia with me an eighth of sativa and it was okay it was a good sativa for fucking gentiles but for me it just did i need sativa with some fucking punch to it but i took the black widow with me it was a station

i was smoking it outside in the cold day and then going in it hit you in the warmth and i got fucked up so i got a gram of that this new weed store they give you deals they give you they have pr and they have og's so the private reserve is where the field gangsters hang out i also had the banana og i also had some weed but then today i went i told the chick i want the shit that killed fucking robin williams and she gave me i want the shit that fucking i got the cosby og that's what this was cosby og this is the shit that makes you all fucked up you know what i'm saying but the crazy thing about you did you see him go to his pocket every time i'm with him we just like appears out of your sleeve like i don't i didn't even see you go reach for you

just like are we doing this or not sure why are we fucking around it's always red but it's never in your pocket and you know you don't need you have like these little glass holders for your joints sure so they don't bend i don't want my pocket that's how bad ass is that what if i scratch my balls and put my hand in my pocket now i got nutsack in my fucking pocket now i put a joint in my pocket and you have to smoke it i'm the type of motherfucker i worry about that shit when my wife goes to the bathroom i go in there before if it's a foreign bathroom i clean off the little pussy holder because i don't want to eat somebody else's fucking monkey you follow me what's the pussy holder whatever i don't want somebody else that's the toilet seat sure i don't

want nobody else to fucking smoke my nutsack that's how i roll i'm just trying to be a decent individual you have these tubes people give me joints in these tubes so ba boom but you used to put weed in your nutsack so what's the difference why are you trying to confuse me i'm just as high as the next day i put joints in here so the joints don't bend the weed don't fall out and whatever's in my fucking pocket like chains it doesn't get disgusting on you i think of the motherfucker next to me that's very nice of you if there's if there's weed in your nutsack that's obviously a desperate situation no no i put in the weed in my nutsack when i travel not anymore because the frog is out you know why fucking talk about it now but if you're in a tight situation or you put the

weed under your nutsack and you fly you're not gonna find it they're not gonna look through your nutsack you're just gonna say a little super ball you're a fucking baggie and they're gonna let you through it's not gonna bother you i don't know if you want to talk about this and if you don't i can always take it out but uh like about six months ago i had my first animal die my my childhood pet yeah and joey you had a cat die like a year or so ago and i know you just had a dog die and i just i i i haven't really cried in a while but when my dog i had just started dating my girlfriend like six months in i think maybe and i i i remember i was driving on van nijs boulevard in the dark and i was crying but i didn't want her to see it so like i just couldn't i wouldn't

i wouldn't speak very much but yeah and i just even now thinking about it if i got my mom called right now i could i just said the dog's name like we both start balling i never went through that before in my life it's so far i know you just went through it and it's why you gotta bring it up fully we're having a nice conversation if people are fucking giggling and right away you gotta drag me through the fucking mud a lot of people go through so who wants to talk about therapy not tonight call it tomorrow morning and talk about the fucking dog you gotta do therapy right now and thanksgiving no one wants to hear this shit you're worse than jody furtig and shit you want to bring up the fucking thing we're having a nice conversation my ass we talk about this stuff all

time who gives a fuck it's too soon cox i can relax you just said this stuff like killed robin williams yeah and og that's completely different got nothing to do with us three you don't know copy do you need to why who gives a fuck you know robin williams no do you know why no who gives a fuck i mean i i'm sorry across the line what the fuck is wrong with you we're having a nice conversation if you want to be gloomy gloss it's not gloomy yeah what the fuck nobody's talking about debt to you everything's nice kind of drag the poor dog into the conversation the fuck's the matter with you kind of suck it now i feel guilty what the fuck also i'm sounding like glocklin here i'm showing you pictures of french portals and shit get the fuck out of here we're smoking we

were having to eat another other way are you hiding the other way it's starting no it's not starting there's nothing in there it's 10 milligrams i'm telling you eat another half eat another half it's Thanksgiving you got turkey that's how much i had monday a three quarters of it and i almost no you had a quarter now and the other half that's not three quarters i'm gonna give you a half to me i'll eat the other half i already ate two of them you've already seen me two and a half what's the point yeah eat this little i'm gonna eat i'm gonna eat this big piece and you eat this little corn because that's how we do it here on the channel it's so much better to know that okay there's nothing you're tough as nails come on pretty much the only time you

make juice like you don't want you to look that flag eat this and salute the fucking flag well you kidding me there's a little jewish kids playing with gunpowder right now you don't want to eat a fucking other but what's wrong with you you're the sergeant of arms you're the captain of the enterprise oh there it is oh it's a beautiful night for all this home you got fucking you're gonna go back to 24 hour fitness it opens up look it doesn't open until tomorrow morning no it opens up midnight no it doesn't i just called them this is lisa that's then i'll show up that pissed me off today though like everyone everyone knew it closed at two it it set it on the wall for about two months and as i was living at 130 people

rolling in and i was like how who could do that to somebody only in that way they do it everywhere they do it at all the gyms they show up at 130 and then at two when you call up to them and go we're gonna close like really get the fuck out of here you've been here every fucking day the sign's been breaking for a fucking month close at two now you want to be jack valet at 130 get the fuck out of here we'll start the march you're for it again you hear that i'm making independence day two they make all these movies when nobody gives a fuck you make independence two after the movie comes one comes out like a year later 20 years later now and the other guy don't want to do it the Scientologist oh so you haven't gone and seen dumb and dimmer two yet listen i wouldn't go

fucking give those two idiots money if you fucking paid me that looks like a bomb from the jump that looks and then you snow jim carry who hasn't had a hit now he wants to do dumb and dumb when he was rolling all those years he didn't want to do it right now he went back and did it that right there is a smack to our faces when we were waiting for dumb and dumb and he didn't want to do he was too intelligent he wanted to do other projects to look at sunshine all those shit fucking movies he made the number 23 yeah the number 23 all that stupidity he made like you're a fucking comic also they want to become chelkowski they want to do all this shit you ain't that motherfucker dog you ain't that deep you were good when you were saying later and all that shit is what's his name is the guy

who hunt for the fucking dolphin is mature yeah he was good liar liar and the fucking other one after that enough but he thought he could do dramatic fucking arts stop it you and that fucking other mutt get the fucking wait get me excited for you know i ate an edible my heart so what's the story what he's doing this weekend i had shocked me the way you're going to mom uh i got paul has come over now but she has uh finals now so she's not staying over for the weekends for the next few weeks oh so don't fucking gulash no we have to we have two cooking classes planned oh my god it's fun it's in the cinema and uh the Santa Marca mall that last time i was here it was crepes right this one she signed us up for steak class

so we're gonna make steak potatoes it's nice and then this one's gonna piss him off uh oh i was a catchy he's always a by the way it can't it can't just be grilling steaks it's gotta be one of that hers what she likes is she likes macaroons the little dessert so we're going to macaroon class wait what like just it's like a cookie yeah the macaroons listen do me a favor that's the whole stop at the sex don't get a strap on and just put it on fuck you up the ass while you're eating the macaroon that's your best bet right now once you do the macaroon class you might as well tell her get a dick i'm gonna get vastly i'm gonna grease up my little muffler and you can play fucking uh fucking joseph elisiana songs while your butt

fucked me up the ass while i'm eating the fuck are you crazy you take that paperwork tonight you rip it up into a thousand pieces and throw that a macaroon you don't eat macaroons yes i do no they don't not your type of jew you're from the old school jesus was a jew you think he was walking around eating macaroons yeah no you try to adjust that that really good macaroons back in in uh nazareth dealing this fucking guy macaroons oh my god it's amazing it's fun that's amazing you're gonna make macaroons yeah at some point i don't know when i just walked on the stem master for eight months 22 hours a day to lose 70 pounds you're thinking about macaroons i'm not there she likes him let me ask you son who's the captain kirk of the enterprise her so good

at least he's honest that's great you better stop with this shit macaroons you're losing stripes people depend on you to hold on to the fuck how many stripes do i have you have like four till tonight i don't know you're in the dungeon with felipe he might as well go to his wedding and he fucking goulash and shouldn't jump up and down with your shoes off when you go is it like what's the setup is it like a home ec class are there no stations of kitchen it's like a it's in like a like a kitchen with a bunch of different stations and there's a teacher and last time we made crepes this time we made steak uh i want somebody to invent an app where i can have that number call them and like a hand comes out of their phone for like $50 i would fucking be in debt right

now i would get everybody's number i hate when they're doing something stupid i'll just call that number make the hand smack him in the face that's what i need make that app somebody smack in the face dot com or spit in their face like the phone just goes and just spits in your fucking face i like lugie while you're doing something fucked up lee like getting macaroon class cox like that what's up my brother everything good you call home you feel jewish out here do i feel jewish no i mean my mom's coming out because uh it's hard for me to go back for that what activities do you have planned with mom because not much i mean she wants to do we've never done tourist stuff i've like i've never been to the walk of fame since i've been out here really i've just never

done that so she likes she likes me she likes me zams i don't know music are you gonna give her an animal no like your dad let's give her something no she she sees marijuana same as heroin there's no difference what okay she's one of the fifties what is she gonna do when you're on your 16th day at 30 for my mom doing 30 for 30 you have to do 30 for 30 we're doing 30 for 30 we're gonna call billy corbin if billy corbin signs on then i'll do it what is billy gonna call me a doofy direct it all right so we gotta give this guy like 30 g's okay all right how are we gonna get 30 g's he'll get on the back end he said this is gonna make millions millions people want to see lee passing out falling down the ambulances you fall down the stairs back here being all high

us carrying you to the ambulance giving you a mount to mount you're at the hospital i don't know what happened i lost my wallet you're going to convulsions and shit i think i would if i gone the fourth day you're just gonna keep working out and drinking tons of water to clean your kidneys out and shit after the 14th day you come to see dr. Amy with me we'll clean out your fuck and adrenals so when i'm 14 days in to the strongest edibles known to man you're gonna take me to acupuncture for the first time and have someone stick needles in me absolutely we're gonna copy it get the adrenals out get your uh get your chakras open get the blood moving and shit get your ankle skinny again they're gonna stuff the needles in you it's all over dark we'll clean out your adrenals

you go home that night you won't have to do no edibles just drink water we'll give you a pass you just have to do an edible on a later date it's like a bye you know what i'm saying i feel you and then that night you just drink a bunch of water you go home you go to bed early no jerking off no nothing you maintain that's impossible in your high for the next morning you're not gonna be high that night the next morning you go to the gym and sweat because all that shit's gonna come to your top you're gonna be thirsty all night you're gonna drink water next day you're gonna go sweat it out and maybe even jump into the steam this fits that last stamina juice out of you and then we'll start you up again that motherfucking wednesday like soldiers take you this time we'll

fucking drop the other helicopter or something like that why because that's how we roll what are you gonna do during this time pop edibles like i always do you know me the party don't stop here g this party keeps fucking going i find edibles everywhere i found the fucking deck in my suitcase in philadelphia on the bottom of it flying around in the front do you know when i went to new york september 22nd somebody gave me a fucking vapor pen filled with that shit in it the wax i found it in fucking philly last week oh shit oh my god i found it in baltimore three fucking weeks left of taking three more fucking road trips oh my god i got shit all over that luggage i cleaned it all out this week and i found the decker just lying there like you know that's 20

years most people find they get 20 in their pant pocket you find a decade a decade that's on my road that's when you know you got a fucking angel going around you so what's new about your world talk talk to me what are you gonna do for you going home for the holidays what are you gonna i am gonna go home now yeah yeah we are gonna go home december 20th till january fourth that's not bad those are okay dates yeah it's about two weeks and where do you stay i can't wait um either my parents house or lenny's parents house but it's it's seriously like our families live within like five or ten minutes of each other so you don't do like five days one place five days the other just yeah no we don't have to do that there's no drama no no it's pretty much

where do you want to sleep normally we stay at lenny's mom's house because she she bought us the tickets and she normally does okay so lenny's mom don't fuck around yeah she doesn't fuck around at all and her house is is bigger too than my parents but it's a matter of like a few minutes in the car we see everybody within like a day and we kind of just see everyone at different times a day almost every day so they don't have to split up what's the first place you go eat oh man oh i okay i can't wait to go to white castle but i fucking love white castle so much and the fact that we don't have it here i buy the microwaveable kind but it's not the same you have to steam them in the oven there's a way yeah there's a way with a bucket with water you put in the oven bucket in the oven

something crazy there's people who are fucking professionals i see them online really there's like diehard new yorkers that take white castle i forget how you do them because even when you go to white castle there's two ways you can get them fried or steamed a lot of people don't remember yeah so you steam them and they're softer or something they fry them and they steam them something weird so my wife makes them a certain way we have an adam and three fucking things or something my my wife would buy a four pack every once in a while we eat two of them and that's that's what listen i think i ate over three or four white castles one time i got a paper route once i went out with this guy anthony demarco to get like signatures for paper routes

and that's where he took us for lunch and the sodium gave me such a headache when i was like 11 or 12 oh i never touched white castle again like the sodium was overwhelming like i had to go home and go to sleep and the migraine had it it was overwhelming i didn't have white castle again till maybe 10 years later like after high school and now i understand like now i have to eat like two or one of them or something like that i usually get one regular cheeseburger steamed and one surf and turf where they put the little goldfish patty in there with it it's a goldfish trust me it's like a kid's goldfish as soon as you bite your kid's crying and you get some french fries you get a Pepsi with fucking ice cubes remember they don't have regular ice cubes they have the circle

ice cubes that once the Pepsi's finished you chew on them yes they're perfect it's perfect size like little gumballs of fucking ice yeah what do you think you're dealing with lisa you had some fucking mo mo from around the corner so white castles baked for you because the first my first introduction to it was that movie they didn't have it in Boston oh harold and kumor yeah that was the first now you know why he eats halibut every time because he never knew about fucking thing to harold and kumor two fucking two fucking malooks taught you about it this is why i didn't have it in massachusetts and when the movie came out kids in my high school seniors i would remember were taking trips and taking orders and bringing a cooler and they went and did a trip to the the

closest one was queens or somewhere in new york right like right when you're about to get to new york from boston and then they came back same day with a cooler full like one of those beach coolers i made the jeep i didn't get any i honestly i didn't because i didn't i didn't know about it i found out once i had already gotten back and they people had pre-ordered them we ate them in north bergah me yeah no i had him a couple times i took him north bergah but it's it's kind of like i didn't i didn't get to say it the other night with dean i'm so jealous of his musical experience because maybe i'm just not wired that way or you can say the music was bad when i grew up but the the discussion they were having about this singer and this band and this song and and

getting this album i had no experience with that at all and it just it's crazy how much white castle obviously means to both of you right and it's just it's not anything i had experience with it's so good i had said man i was very lucky that i laughed today a girl called me and it was vita and i grew up with both her brothers and the one brother died when we were in high school and the whole the whole thing it was not a good death it was not a happy death there was no allegations that he had been high and the people questioned and he died he dried he dried died close to lake apacon not lake apacon a different a different quarry the quarry that's where he died up north by us and uh she called today and i was high i was in my thc kind psychosis and i started

telling her a story you know i was i was talking last night about we had a Puerto Rican guy nelson on our block that would fuck his girlfriend and let us listen through the window and he charges like a dollar or two and then once towards the end when he Friday night he was in a movie he opened the window and let us watch him fuck him you know for five dollars that's so for five you can watch for two you only got the audio right we're talking about this last night so this was a very interesting neighborhood especially now that i look at and it was a very interesting block because there was an orphanage there and it had burnt down and they turned it into a dead end street so people always said it was a bad luck like a lot of the people ended up dead on that block she was telling me

this morning so for me to like fucking leave so for me to change the mood i started talking about her brother when we were like 12 one night her his older brother it was maybe four years oldest and it's got his license so you got your license 16 and a half that's when they signed up once you got your fucking permit in jersey you had your fucking license you could drive with your parents good luck right my parents gonna get a car with me i drove by myself it's 16 and a half you know and we went out one night and it was he we were listening to like benny and the jets and we were fucking doing 90 on like the local street and there was one part where he went through two cars that we thought we're gonna die and instead of crying and yelling we just laughed

out of it like we were so scared that we laughed our way out of it and that's what it felt like when i was with lee last night i loved uh i knew we weren't gonna die and nothing like that we weren't sure the cops weren't gonna stop us and throw us in jail we just tell the cops we were giggling and shit and but i missed that i missed that uh holiday camaraderie uh wednesday nights when i was growing up the wednesday before thanksgiving was everything that's why i got married yeah on that date that's why i got married wednesday before growing up to me the wednesday before thanksgiving that's huge the first one i would tell you which one but the the main one would tell you fuck that dumb bitch that was when i was out of control and i didn't know nothing from

nothing i was living life according to life's terms not my terms that's why nothing fucking worked you know that was always the day that uh by the time you could go into a bar right the college students were coming home all the people from college were coming home right and like everyone would go out oh man it was so big drug night you're fucked you got high it was just even in high school you just knew that you were gonna fucking go out and go crazy you know when you were 16 you know and then it's that age too where it's like you don't have any responsibilities like i didn't have to wake up as a teenager and like help my mom cook or do anything yeah those days i didn't wake up but i woke up to look around and drink water and pee right i'd puke and i'd go

back to bed i was always allergic to alcohol right lee i love you and uh there's a way you know you know i saw aro smith for 12 dollars you know i saw a black sabbath for maybe 16 dollars you can't go see anybody today for 16 dollars it's 20 just apart it's not that the music isn't good is that they've taken out of your realm you have to have a high paying job and live with your parents to go out every night like that to be into music you know yeah for me i grew up close to the city i grew up close to new york city so the garden for me was a second thing you know when i was a kid my mom introduced me to the doors and i thought it was fascinating and after that i just picked up other music and i'm gonna listen to spanish music for a while then black music and i hate rock

music i hate the people with long fucking hair what the fuck is that shit what is these dirty fucking hippies and i think i listen to leather skinner and i listen to zeppelin black sabbath and ac dc and i was hooked and you had crane magazine and you would read the magazines there was no internet and you went to concerts and you watched you know people come up to me at the shows and they go oh there's the fifth time i saw you on the way back to my hotel i'm like that guy's fucking crazy but then i'm like fuck when i was a kid i'd go see bands six seven times movies oh my god the road warrior i must have saw the road warrior 20 times when i was in the movie theater at four hours apart but it didn't even rambo two and to the dragon i paid 80 times

to see those fucking movies you know entertainment is entertainment so now i'm looking at it from that perspective you know lee those music things that you know he's 47 uh dean delray we're right there we were right there we grew up on the same music you know if you have to be suspect to him if he didn't know about music were you 25 years my younger that music shouldn't even appeal to you and sometimes you hear it and you're like this is fucking great it is great yeah it's the backbone of our country what i was playing i got very excited when i heard the omen brothers last night which we're gonna close with whipping posts that's what he was talking about boom boom you gotta do 90 even the Prius you switch that motherfucker out of electric bitch you kick that

into gasoline you step on that motherfucker and once you do six you kick up that electricity again and get that road warrior boost going that's the way you do it when you hear a good fucking song When I'm driving, I'm stoned, I hear good music, your conversation does not matter to me. Whatever conversation we were having is null and void. Turn it off. Once that music comes on, it's done with. I don't want to hear your conversation. This is the greatest music ever fucking played. That's the way I look at it. And when we're high, Lee doesn't like the music. Like I had Black Sabbath on the DVD, but I love it. He don't like Black Sabbath. He'll jump. It's not that I don't like it. It's so it like music gets into my brain

and it's terrifying, especially when I'm that high. Like does the bass make you think you're having palpitation? No, it's not even that high. It's not even that. And Joey's talked about it before where like he would skip certain Black Sabbath songs. Like I don't even know how to explain it. It's like they sound creepy. Like they sound like like the like the background music to a horror movie or like it just it takes you to places that I just I don't want to be when I'm that fucking stone. That's where you have to be, Lee. I wouldn't take you there. It wasn't a good place to be there. I want you to get scared in your mind then because there's nothing else to scare you. This is just a little conch unit. You shouldn't be scared of a fucking song, right?

Absolutely. Now I'm thinking of a friend. You were asking like if I had any friends that were just crazy and and I'm thinking of this this this kid I knew from my town, Derek, and I would always this is a kid that like I you could go to his house at like one in the morning, two in the morning, and you know he lives at home. We're young. We're like high school age or maybe college age, but like he's always up. He rules his whole house even though he lives with his parents and shit. So like I went to his house one time and it must have been around the holidays because I had I had a neon like a used Dodge neon was my first car and I had all stickers on the back of bands and then inside the car I had Christmas lights, battery-operated Christmas lights all around

like the perimeter of the car. So I showed up at this kid's house and I was like, yo what are you doing? Like let's just go drive around. Let's go drive down the shore like right now even though it's the winter and like nothing happens down the shore in the winter. It's just ghost town. So I just remember like and I had on this real I had the fucking real short like bleach-boned hair and this real fucking cool hat and like we had this CD of like a 80s new wave hits. It was like some greatest hits. Don't you want me baby? All that shit. Blondie. One way or another. Yeah, yeah. Fucking madness, our house. Potato love. Yeah, I loved all that. I loved all that. And it's way past like we're in the late 90s at this point. It's way past like that's not new.

I'm not that old but like man we and we just drove down the shore and like we were hitting every just like let's just stop in Asbury Park and like stop in Keensburg, stop like in Point Pleasant, just went to Tom's River Diner and then just like fucking drove back just hanging out just nothing just driving around listening to music. That's it. I loved all that. Just smoking bones. Yeah. Listen and then we you know what we listen to the first side on the way down get something to eat on the way back he listened to the other side then we go home everybody's happy that's a fucking good album yeah that is a good fucking album holy shit you know they recorded that in fucking Brazil they were stoned they mugged the fucking Brazilian chick whatever the

fuck that's all interesting to me you know what I'm saying you don't have to be interested in it but you got what you got you still follow your little band. Hell yeah. And when are you going to see him again? I don't know they're going to be back at the Avalon but I just saw him like two months ago. What's the name of the band? Infected Mushroom. Infected Mushroom all right I'm going to give him a shout out and send him a happy Thanksgiving you're the biggest fan. There's really so they probably weren't celebrating anything. Now when you're at home do you play that music when you by yourself? Yeah fuck yeah. And you jump up and down you just. Not at home but no I just I like when I'm driving sometimes when I'm at the gym I run out of movies I put it on but uh. And it fires

you up? I guess yeah. I don't know I like it. Do you listen to any electronic music at all? Electronic music not really. No I'm not a big EDM person at all but I don't know they just like their concerts were amazing so I've loved them for like eight years now. Really? I've seen them like 10-15 times. That's why I love you let's do these fucking sponsors and we'll have the turkey sandwich. Oh shit I don't know if you motherfuckers know it MCT oil everything is on sale and on it from the alpha brain to the fucking shroom tech sport to the shroom tech immune everything is on sale 25% off on vitamins 18% along the supplements and foods 18% of the fucking barbells and all that shit they have the kettlebells and whatnot fitness equipment

go to honor.com press in church get 10% off I don't know what they're going to give you anything out of that the sale ends Monday at midnight don't fuck around on it we'll change your fucking life just start with the alpha brain that's it if you don't like it fuck it send it back you get your money back nobody asks questions nobody's mad at least you gave it a try all right don't come crying to me when you did it the best the best iron dragon tv.com you understand me for all your classic martial arts films there's nothing like smoking a bone getting some pork fried rice going home taking off your sneakers and seeing a good kung fu movie nothing like that especially the fucking classics it man what's the other guy's name song young moon everybody's

fucking no there's no song young moon child young fat you got the it man series you got the fucking enter the fat dragon series you've got stuff I don't even know about you understand me listen you don't need to know go to iron dragon tv go to the box and press in joey and get two films right for free right two two two what's the whole program costly 99 cents or something crazy something fucking tremendous I'm not even sure but they the rents are for free so you get two free rentals two free rentals grief free gratis I don't fuck around with you you know me dog we ain't here looking to sell you big ticket items nothing we ain't selling you're nothing all we're saying is go to iron dragon tv dot com right now you're not doing dick you got tomorrow off there's a

couple college games you want to watch some old classic martial arts go on there look and see what they got you won't be fucking sorry these guys are great mr foley's a fucking savage in fact he'll be on the podcast December 3rd next Wednesday night to break it down to you bitches all right that's how we roll so listen to this go to the web page today look it up and if you have any questions tweet me and while he's in the fucking studio you can ask him all the questions you want me on these dot com I had a pair on fucking and when I go to the gym I have me on these on not because they cut my nutsack and they keep everything in place but because the cotton they have pulls away the sweat from your body so there's no excess fucking sweat so when I'm walking with 711

to get fucking water later on my nuts don't feel like I got those flip-flops on my feet I mean you're moisturizing your nuts I don't like that shit your nuts should maintain a natural odour I agree with you but they should not have that fucking deep onion smell after you worked out what if you bump into a freak you don't need that in your life you want your balls to have the smell some women like that smell a while fucking nuts nobody wants to eat pussy that smells like iron for what iron dragon nobody wants to eat pussy that smells like iris spring that's what I'm trying to say to you go to me on these dot com they're running a tremendous special go to me on these dot com see what they got they got a collection of girls on these boys on these you scared me

before with those boys toys on these boy shorts boy shorts I want people to get the wrong confusion go to me on these dot com see what they got they are fucking tremendous you got free shipping correct and United States and fucking Canada right now that goes to December 31st why fuck around go to me on these dot com tremendous comfortable underwear I have I had them on yesterday at the fucking Y it's like you're floating those other underwears they're bourgeois they're all fucking news all right you want to be an old man and wear those cotton white or the other ones like a fucking half a fact you don't need that shit me on these keeps all the nuts like even I look sexy at me on these go to me on these dot com right now and they don't take it 20% 20% off 20% off

and free fucking shipping you two Canadians you got to make your nuts act look good all right you guys never make the cover of people magazines or sexiest people ever code word Joey and code word Joey let me tell you something else code word Joey for me on these me on these let me talk to you about something else again I don't show up asking asking asking naturebox.com that's all I gotta tell you two one word free bitch free bitch free free go to go to fucking naturebox.com impressing Joey and get free sample box sent the house you give those out no fucking other joke dip give out those sriracha cashers give out those chocolate fucking yum yum give that stuff out to your guests see how the fucking heads will blow up after you smoke a bongie with them

go to naturesbox.com I'm offering you something for free this last till December 31st after that everybody has to go fuck themselves don't come crying to me Joey we didn't get it what happened to the free fuck you I told you you fuck you gotta go today everything we talk about is today some fucking Momo came up to me last week in Philadelphia and I know you're mad at me but I'm mad at you for being a fucking schmuck you're sitting there for 20 minutes staring at me and after I pack in my shirts I'm walking into the good can I take a picture oh no now you gotta wait for the second show you're fucked you seen me here packing here you stood there like a fucking Momo don't tell me you listen to your podcast if you listen to my podcast you

know you attack right now don't sit there and stand I got people coming in now I gotta have to stand after I take the picture you and take another 40 fucking pictures because you want to wait and let everybody else settle around me you got to jump on the opportunity what does pink Floyd say you gotta be crazy you gotta have a real need you got to sleep on your toes when you're on the street you gotta be able to pick out the easy meat with your eyes closed the point fucking blank okay that's it don't sit there and Joey can I get a fucking headshot no now you gotta sit there and wait till you ask Rose roots when everybody was taking pictures that's when you take the fucking picture and he's over Joey that's right the simple box I gotta I gotta emotional

you fucking people go to naturebox.com the nutritious delicious snacks okay eat them any time they come with a resealer you don't have to eat potato chips at the office well you're not going to reseal it it's it's amazing once you open those motherfuckers I'll reseal those motherfuckers you try some time to steal it especially the fucking cashews the salt and pepper lentils I mean that's tremendous stuff stop fucking around go to naturebox.com and get a free sample I'm not even asking to do anything get a free sample that's it okay happy Thanksgiving that's how we fucking roll here what bitch what what what cocksucker you look fancy today I like it I got a little fancy it's Thanksgiving I can't be walking around looking like a fucking mook can I gotta

look good sometimes you know what I'm saying representing the church so what's happening now always always what's up with you vicky pez you're looking very cute is where you look green and shirtless my daughter says game oh really yeah game how old is she now 22 much oh my god almost what's your mind this do you know what you're doing for the second birthday for her birthday yeah we're gonna go out eat get some lobster I don't fucking know she's 20 I don't like my wife yesterday my wife says to me you have any plans for her birthday should I we have Thanksgiving we have Christmas we have your birthday then new years then her birthday she's fucking too well I suppose you take your daughter's birthday more seriously

she's fucking too you know me we'll get her a carvel ice cream from rounds she goes we know I'll bake her an ice cream no please please it's a special fucking occasion we're gonna get her a fucking carvel cake she loved it last year the chocolate with that a little mix you have delicious with the sprinkles underneath stop it you had all over a fucking face it was an unknown instrument that's what they want to do that vanilla when they had the little bow yeah they have a vanilla bow that's a little thicker ice cream that's the way and you know you're dying of cancer who gives a fuck it's carvel it's good cancer you know what I'm saying I dropped that off at Paula's house for her last birthday I drove down at midnight on her birthday and I'd like one of

those mini carvel cakes she likes who doesn't like ice cream cake and carvel's the only brand that's what I'm saying my wife wants to make one of those fucking Betty Crocker chocolate cake they're all right when you stoned you in a hurry but not for her birthday I love my wife no disrespect right no yeah because those cakes are great but ice cream cake is just the pinnacle come on and only carvel carvel is the bad motherfucker carvel and that you dq used to have an ice cream cake really but it doesn't run carvel they invented ice cream cake that little tom carvel yeah that guy's an old school stoner nobody grows ice cream like that I appreciate you guys listening and it's a beautiful Thanksgiving evening we love you I gave a lot of thanks for

you people for having you for having vicky pesa mr. p for having lisa out of my life with this fucking shirt and shit what shirt we're doing 30 for 30 it's over check with us we're putting a documentary out we're going for it that's it me and lisa i got shit to do we're on a mission from satan in 2015 we're doing a podcast too i think it's getting booked sacramento in san francisco the week of march 11 before san francisco on a Wednesday and that one i'm trying to book that and that's how it starts but it all starts with the 30 30 documentary because once we go on the road we're going deeper you motherfuckers the whole theater's gonna be packed with stoners looking around i don't want no fucking midwives and then no christians stay home if you come out it's because

you're going deep on the podcast i love you cocksuckers vicky pesa what do you got going on um just one thing like i want to say real quick um because today kind of you know for Thanksgiving my my uh my normal traditional plans kind of got little fucked up and uh i just want to thank you guys so much like for asking me to come and hang out and like i just want to make sure that you guys know like because with this show it's a lot of cursing it's a lot of talking about drugs and it you know like it we're all crazy and everything but you guys are overwhelmingly positive and what you put out on this show all the time sometimes like i'll be really fucking bummed and i'll like just listening to the beginning of the show or something you're very motivational you're very

positive and it just it's just fucking awesome and i think a lot of people i think i'm speaking for a lot of people that they're thankful for you guys and and you're fucking great joey and lee you do so much and you put together great shows so thank you guys so much like he's a bad motherfucker we're very thankful you do great things i just want to make sure i got that out before we start singing or anything crazy hit it okay now that the show's over don't forget to go to naturebox.com and sign up to get your free sampler box of great tasting healthy snacks forget the vending machine and start snacking smarter with delicious treats like barbecue kettle kernels go to naturebox.com slash joey that's naturebox.com slash joey also go to meundies.com slash joey and you're gonna get 20 off of your

first order of men's and women's underwear and right now if you live in the united states or canada you're getting free shipping so go to meundies.com slash joey for 20 off right now if you go to onit.com there's a special sale it's 25 off for supplements and then 18 off i believe right joey for everything else so all the kettlebells yeah yeah they're going deep so if you wanted something from on it now is the time to strike out something so yeah use code word church to get 10 off normally if you're listening to this later but if you're listening to this between uh thanksgiving and cyber monday there's a great sale going on and go to irondragontv.com that's irondragontv.com what is iron dragon tv iron dragon tv is a brand new roku channel they have all your favorite

martial arts movies uh use code word joey and you're gonna get two free rentals do happen i don't know why And if that mean woman make me a fool She took all my money And that's my new car Now she's with one of my good time buddies

Drinking in some cross town bar Sometimes I feel Sometimes I feel Got the money to the living room Money to the living room Got the money to the living room Good Lord I feel like I'm dying You know

You know You know You know You know You know You know My friends tell me That I've been such a fool

That I had to stand by and take a day Oh, for loving you To drown myself in sorrow Cause I look at what you've done But nothing seems to change The bad times say the same And I can't run Sometimes I feel

Sometimes I feel Got the money to the living room Got the money to the living room Got the money to the living room Good Lord I feel like I'm dying You know You know You know

You know You know You know You know You know You know You know You know

You know Sometimes I feel Sometimes I feel Got the money to the living room Got the money to the living room Good Lord I feel like I'm dying You know