Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #248 - Barry Katz, Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: January 15, 2015

Barry Katz, Comedy manager, joins in to Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for a free trial box Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/joey for 20% off. Iron Dragon TV. A New Roku channel with all the best martial arts films. Use Code word joey for two free rentals. Wed. January 7th at 2pm. Visit NanoTech's booth at CES to meet UFC Star Tim Kennedy. Their booth number is 15423 Recorded live on 01/14/2015.Music:For The Love Of Money - O'JaysEarly In The Morning - The Gap Band

I fucking slept shitty last night. Really? Oh fuck. This show is sponsored by NatureBox. Thank God. NatureBox ship's great tasting, healthy snacks right to your door. Forget the vending machine and start snacking smarter with delicious treats like dark cocoa almonds. Support this podcast by ordering a free NatureBox sample box at naturebox.com slash joey.

That's right. NatureBox free NatureBox snacks are found at naturebox.com slash joey. So it's also brought to you by onit.com. Go to onit.com and use code word church to get 10% off of all their optimization products like alpha brain, new mood, shroom tech, immune, shroom tech, sport. It's code word church to get 10% off. Also go to meundies.com and check out all the pics they have of the different styles of men's underwear. And for women, they have hot looking boy shorts. When you go to meundies.com slash joey, you're going to get 20% off of your first order. And right now they're giving away free shipping in the United States and Canada.

And go to irondragontv.com. Iron Dragon is a brand new Roku channel with all your favorite martial arts movies, Jackie Chan, It Man series. They have a whole bunch of on it videos on there. Go to irondragontv.com and use code word joey to get two free rentals. Oh shit. Taking it back. When black people are black people. They fuck around with fake dreads in their heads.

Smellin' like dust. What? Fuck at the church on a Wednesday night. Barry Katz in the house. Lisa Yat in the house. Oh shit. They got a tight crisp brown up, set them down and give them back hands to this song. Damn bitch.

What? Wednesday night. Fuck dancing with the stars. Fuck the Emmys. Let's do this. What's going on Lisa? What the hell you been all day? I've been here. Eight hours to eat breakfast. I talked to you at nine.

Breakfast I'm going to go to the gym. I'm just making lunch. I went to the gym at 12.30 today. What the fuck do you do for those eight hours? I'm cleaning. Only I clean the day. You got these veterans coming to your house. What the fuck is that?

Every day I get in the car with you. And there's always a new adventure. I call you the other day. I'm cleaning because Paula's coming over. That's nine in the morning. At one I call you. You're still cleaning because Paula's coming over. I'm going to pick her up for lunch.

And then I get in the car with you the other day. You're talking about some fucking dude who went through Afghanistan. He lost his wrist. He comes to your house and he cleans once a month. These guys are casing your fucking house. What the fuck guys coming over to your house? I don't care if she's an ugly woman. I want a woman over the house.

A four foot two apocalypse doll with no neck thing in my toilet. I don't want to see no fucking guy. It makes me nervous. Let the guy's case in the fucking joint. What is wrong with you? So when does the guy come over and clean? Once a month. Last Thursday very month.

And you have these people on the payroll? I guess it costs like 20 bucks an hour. Yeah. Look at you. You're like fucking... I would never do it. When they clean the fucking toilet and they get a flashback and they start beating you with a bow and arrow. I don't stand right next to them.

You said you had to deal with Barry Katz in studio. The main man in this fucking town making it happen and shit. What's the name of the podcast? Making the industry shaking their boots. Industry stand. That's right. Industry stand. My main man Mr. Barry Katz in the house.

Thank you for having me back. I can't believe I made the cut to come back. I've always loved you. I've always been a fan. I've always fucking cracked me up when I see what's happening. Right back at you brother. This is incredible. He tells me that time I'm cleaning. And then in the car last week he's talking about this Vietnam vet

that comes over and sweeps the house. And he's in extra movies. He is. What the fuck kind of people do you meet online? I came into this podcast and really a respectable Jewish man. And now I am a self-hating Jew right now as I watch you.

Why? Because I have a cleaner come once a month? No, because you have a yarmulke with a Boston Red Sox. That's how someone sent me this. It's so cool. Who doesn't want a Red Sox yarmulke? You don't have to wear that the whole day. It's 16 days to patch it, bitches and catches. I know.

Something crazy. Like 33 days. Somebody just told me the other day. Is it like early February? Like we're around Super Bowl? Something just munching it to me the other day. Like hey man, can you imagine? 36 days to bitches and catches and I'm like Jesus Christ. Yeah, like from Century City to here they might make it in time. Yeah, oh my God.

What the fuck, me cats? Tell me something about what's going on. It's so good to see you. What movies are you doing? What the fuck would you install last week? I just, I couldn't believe our pot. I got so much great feedback from our podcast. I know the church of what's happening

because I thought it would be the temple of what's happening. No, you dropped fucking serious knowledge that people want to know about. These people at home think that what we do out here is glamorous. They see the final product. Well, they should come to this office and see you when you're cohort here.

No, no, no, no, no. They should see, you know, what goes on in a set and when they hear these stories they go into fucking shock. You know, the person in Iowa really thinks that, you know, when George Clooney and Brad Pitt are hugging and giggling at the golfing globes they really like each other.

These fucking people hang out and have cocktails. They don't let these guys on each other as agents finding out where they're going to eat and who could show up first and the creepiest fucking lifestyles. I did an interview with this woman, Sarah Siegel Magnus, who's one of the producers of Precious.

And she was telling me that literally like she was at the Golden Globes in the Academy Awards and at the table they weren't even talking to each other, the round table, they just literally everyone hated each other. Until the camera was on.

The great thing about podcasts has been around for a while, I didn't even know about it. But then the thing like five or six years ago that really made podcasts take off was comedy. So now a lot of people out there and myself included have learned a lot about comedy, like the industry, but not really.

Like not the behind the scenes stuff. Like they learn what comics go through. And that's why, you know, one of the reasons why I started industry standard, it's, I never really told you this, I don't think, but I, every manager, every agent, every lawyer I talked to said

don't do it. Don't do it. No managers doing it. There's a reason why they're not doing it because you're giving out information that people don't like to have out there. You're talking about things factually that people don't want to have out there.

But this is what I felt. I felt like if you're in a situation where if I represented you and let's say the De Niro movie happened and I would be so excited for you and I would hug you to death and congratulate you but then I would go home

and I would say, my god Barry, you only you only helped one person. You only helped one person. Is there something you can do where you can you can help more people. And I thought of all these meetings I've had with network presidents

and studio executives and showrunners and I'd get out of the meeting and get in my car and I'd be like, god I can't believe I was the only guy in that room to hear Doug Herzog talk to me for 90 minutes or Chris Albrecht or Steve McPherson

or Phil Rosenthal and what would it be like if millions of people could hear what they have to say and that's why I started and most all of these people that I interviewed have never done a podcast before. Granted, I sometimes

do certain artists who are executive producers on their own shows but for the most part I just deal on the other side and it's really apparently it's been pretty inspirational I've been fortunate. It's 2015

and I always say this you're not a fan anymore when I was growing up I was a fan of the Beatles today I could have contacted John Lennon on Twitter and eventually he would have cracked and said hey go fuck yourself there was something

within our fans and then you would have tracked him down and shot him whatever but now it's a different thing for you to exist as an artist maybe not, maybe I'm wrong it would be nice to communicate with people who buy your records

it would be nice to communicate with people who come to your shows and pay $62.18 ticket fee to come see you at whatever so I'm a fan of everything when I did I don't know I was listening to James Coburn

talk about when he shot The Magnificent Seven how they didn't want your brother to steal the movie because he was a foreigner so they tore men to them every night they would call him and hang up and break into his room and put lizards in his room he hated lizards or something

you know what that does to people love hearing that shit there used to be a TV channel in the movies, AMC AMC would play the movie twice in a night but they would play it in the beginning with fun facts that you didn't know about during this scene

Steven Seagal broke his ankle and they had a postpone shooting for six weeks and that's what you're doing with the entertainment business I would listen, if I was a civilian if I lived in Iowa and I watched television and I was a fan of Breaking Bad

and Sons of Anarchy and Community I would listen to your podcast because I want to know what they're fucking saying it's, it's I, I almost feel embarrassed about it because it's like you know there's 350,000 podcasts out there

and technically no one knows who I am no one knows who these people are but they come and as you know I wouldn't be here right now unless the podcast we're doing well because that's the way the business works and that's probably

what we'll probably talk about today is the fact that you have to get people's attention you have to create a problem you have to do something that gets people to notice and that's why you call me, you call me because you love me I know you love me but I wouldn't

be here unless that podcast wasn't doing what it was doing and I just wouldn't be here because if it was, it was number 347,000 as opposed to number 100 or number 150 or 500 out of 350,000 that's why

you're in places that's why you do things that's why the church of what's happening so many people want to be on this because it's doing so well if your thing wasn't doing well you wouldn't be able to get anybody on here but your friends and I would be here to do it for you

and Joey and I talk a lot about either people or organizations in an industry that are like in the industry working in it and not understanding part of it so as a comedian Joey wouldn't you be more

excited to work with a manager who had a podcast and would understand when you call him and be like I want to get sponsors for the podcast or I want to get different guests he wouldn't understand it. He's here Barry is sitting there because I have the utmost respect of him just doing one thing

you know and that's a fucking having knowledge what the fuck a podcast is what conversation do you and I have on the phone every three days about how the fuck am I doing business with them they don't know what a podcast is right now in the entertainment business

it's changed in 15 years it's a different realm. 20 years ago a movie came up I would call Barry and say Barry I want to go on for this movie Barry would call the casting director and he'd know somebody in the producing office and go hey my client they'd be perfect for this call casting

get them in there blah blah blah today if you call casting they go can you please submit him electronically or the business has changed yeah there used to be just so your audience knows this is fascinating in the casting world if you were a casting

director and you were somebody who walked into an audition for anything let's just say 10 years ago you'd walk in you'd walk into the casting office and it would be like an A-bomb victim's office from Nagasaki I mean there would be like

piles thousands of headshots and resumes boxes everywhere envelopes and the whole thing was you'd have the red envelopes from CAA you'd have the blue ones from William Morris and they'd open

certain ones first in the trajectory of the biggest agency to like Ed's agency and now the thing is about anybody out there and I really truly believe this I say this on my podcast everyone opens

a FedEx everyone so if you're an actor out there and you want to be noticed get some FedEx envelopes in LA submit yourself if you want to do a picture and whatever note you want to do

and bring it like your FedEx person person's office and they will open it have a link in there or if you email a casting director with a nice funny note or whatever they're always going to open it do you know anybody in the history of the world

who does not open an email there isn't anybody everyone does but it is hard now because a lot of jobs are applying online and when I was applying for jobs I felt like if I didn't apply when it was first posted then I wasn't going to get seen

especially if it's just submitting a form if it's by email I would never do it too late in the week at night and I would do it right after lunch or right early in the morning because if you're getting 200 emails for a job and someone sends it to you

at 10.30 it's going to get hidden unless there's something right up front that grabs their attention now excuse me I had a big earlier that shocked me you said off air you said

I applied to these jobs why don't you tell the audience where you the three places you applied to jobs no just tell them the three places Domino's Pizza Hut and Best Buy ok stop right there now I don't mean to go toe to toe

with you or anything like this but if your audience is out there and you're applying for a job you would never apply to a job like that I had a full time job working in television and I had a college degree and I needed

before Joey and I met and I needed money so what you're saying is those are your three top choices to make money not top choices but I worked 77 I asked you the three places you applied and that's what you said

so my thought process was trying to be an editor so maybe I'll try to do porn but I can't put that on my resume so why even do it so I worked 7-7 10-7 every day so I wouldn't get home to 8-8-30

so I can't have another regular job I was thinking of late night stuff I could do this is the thing I hope you don't mind me saying this this is a story that I I learned a lot from what happened to me in New York

at this one time this one week I realized something so I used to go to this place called the Cosmic Diner I think it was at 53rd and 8th now it used to be at 57th or 58th and Broadway

one of those diners where you go and the servers are just so nice and so wonderful and beautiful and sweet and you can order all this stuff $10 or $15.20 or whatever it was and if you had a little extra money on you at the time

and even if you were broke it was $10 you might give the girl $5 thank you wonderful and I remember I did this deal for Dave Chappelle and I had a big deal and I said you know

I'm gonna treat myself and I went to the 4 seasons to have lunch and the bill came to $50 and my server was also this wonderful woman was so incredible and nice so great and I felt like generous a little bit

I'm not too much probably because I am Jewish but I gave her like $15 tip not a lot but a little extra something and then as I was walking back to my office I realized something two wonderful wonderful charismatic

people who did a great job one chose to apply to a job at the Cosmic Diner the lowest of the low kind of New York City Diner lovable to go in these places

late at night don't get me wrong I love going in these places but the lowest budgeted place the basically the motel five of restaurants and another person who does the same exact thing same exact skill says

you know what I'm going to apply to the top the like peninsula of restaurants and I'm gonna work there and at the end of the week one person makes three times more money than the other one

and what you did is you made the choice to work at the motel five of jobs because of your qualification at night knowing that there were other jobs that could pay you more money you had the skill said but other people went and got those jobs and applied to those

and you didn't because maybe you didn't think you were worthy of those jobs maybe but I'm glad I didn't because I would never have been working with him if I had two jobs I wouldn't have had time to work with him sometimes fate like I've had times when I've done something like you come out here

you expect things to happen also one day you know things aren't happening quick enough you go to the stupid audition that your manager sends you on for this show on NBC you're going there with a bad attitude but something you do a good read but in your mind you don't think it's a good

read you go home and you go you know what fuck this I'm gonna apply for this job you walk down and you get humiliated you apply for the job on the way home your phone rings and you book the row it was you had to take a fate

society something wanted to see you eat shit for 10 minutes before it rewarded you if you wouldn't have gone down there do you know what I'm saying that's true look what's great about you Joe is that I believe this to be true

when you do an audition you are always ready and always prepared but you know you have the illusion you know you have this like laissez faire illusion like hey if I can I'm just gonna go

in there I'm gonna look at this for about a half hour walk in and see what happened but you are not you're the exact opposite of that guy and and and the work ethic that it take like I was like my kids are started getting into magic they're

nine and ten and this morning I wake up at like seven o'clock which is late for me and normally wake up at like five thirty six but I was up late and I wake up to this I get out of bed I'm wife in my eyes I look down over

to the living room my son is there he's half naked and he's playing with the cards and doing them a certain way and I'm like hey buddy what are you doing I'm so frustrated I've been working on this trick for an hour and a half I said well that's

that's fantastic no daddy it's not fantastic I just I've been you know I get it and then I get it again and then three more times I don't get it and I said but that's how you get better you have to keep working on it over

and over and over again to be the best you can be and the fact that you realize that and you've been here for ninety minutes from five thirty in the morning till seven working on this trick and that's the way you have to be with an audition and I want to share one thing with you because

it reminds me of you and you can discount it on and for everybody out there in your audience one of my first lessons when it came time to figuring out how to be the kind of person that you need to be to get somewhere in this business I think you'll like this

I was in I was a teenager in Long Meadow, Massachusetts and I'm listening on the radio and it says Elvis Presley is going to come to the Springfield Civic Center and tomorrow morning at eight o'clock

tickets go on sale and back then as Joey and you know there's no internet, there's no ticketron, there's no you have to go to the box office there was a ticketmaster you have to go to the box office wherever

you want to get it so I get excited I look at the bus schedule, I plan it out I get prepared to take like a four or four thirty bus down to the Springfield Civic Center so I get there around a little before five

not to myself I am going to get these tickets I get there at like quarter of five in the morning and guess what I find there's a line a mile long around the Springfield Civic Center

so I think I'm the king because I'm getting up early and I'm three hours early and I'm outsmarting everybody to get these tickets but I didn't outsmart anybody and I just, I waited in line for eighteen hours

to get one ticket because I thought to myself three hours early that's enough time to be the best I can be and get the advantage here but the fact is, is that just like acting if you work

on your scene for three hours there's somebody working four hours there's another guy working five hours there's another guy working 24 hours on the scene and there's always going to be somebody working harder than you are

and you have to work as smart and hard as you can now luckily I got my ticket to Elvis Presley but that's because there were about ten thousand seats but when you're an actor and if your audience is listening to your job or whatever it is there's only one job

there's only one part the only time that you have a shot of getting something and being like third best or seventh best or eighth best is when they're doing a new cast of a sketch show that way you know when they're clearing out SNL and they're hiring eight new people

you could be the eighth best person auditioning and get it but for the most part on every role you go up for it's either you're getting it or you're not and that's why you have to be as prepared as possible and what's fascinating about podcasts is

you know you work hard at them you're going you know Monday and Wednesday and however you do them you put a lot of time in you really work hard at it and that's why it's doing so well if you just did it inconsistently how many people do you know they start a podcast

and they're going forward every week and then all of a sudden it just disappears and you're like what happened to this guy who's number one for a week it drives me crazy it eats at my crop because that's 60% of the people in Los Angeles that you don't know about

that'll call you and say I'm writing a screenplay I spoke to CAA and ABC we're ready to go and after three weeks they disappear off the face of the earth then you bump into them at the farmers market a year later and they're selling fucking

real estate and in the ride home you're sitting there going a year ago this guy was going to write the next break in bed and now he's selling fucking real estate what a... the funny thing is you'll point it out to me now you'll be like I met this guy but I think he's going to disappear in like two weeks

and they disappear and you know when they're going to be around you just know hard work discourages so many people that come to this town so many people come to this town the standard and have a drink all their problems are going to be solved

six weeks of acting classes the standard a few drinks they have a word for it I networked it's true I'm going to share something with you and you and the Jewish star this is something that I it just came upon me

about a month or so ago I want you to think about this with your audience this is crazy I'm going to I'm going to actually do it with you okay do what you want though now you got to be honest with me

tell me how many hours a week you fuck off in other words you just don't like in other words you're doing things that are just they're not for your family they're not for your daughter

they're not for your they're not for your career they're not for your career it's just things that you just fuck around an hour and a half a day an hour and a half a day time seven days is how many hours

let's just round it off to ten you got your calculator on your phone get ready so you got 520 hours of fucking off now divide that by a 40 hour work week

so you got so what was the number again 520 divided by 40 520 divided by 40 13 13 weeks of fucking off a year

now imagine what you could be doing as an artist or accomplishing as anything in this business or any business if you dedicated that extra time for your career what would happen

you'd be like much more productive you'd make much more money and you'd get where you want to go faster but that hour and a half is also of entertainment for me to refuel to be able to entertain I can't sit there for six hours

and write straight nobody can't either fucking what's his name when I'm blowing all that stuff but I mean I can't sit there do something for half an hour make a few calls to yourself but I think a lot of people have more than an hour and a half a day oh no and I understand

a lot of people like today somebody said to me hey did you see the call on the Dallas game I can't help you 20 years ago I gave up football on the Sunday I'm a comic I've already sacrificed I cut as much fat as I can I know when I tell you an hour and a half

it's the first 20 minutes in the morning you read the news how much does the news change your fucking life it doesn't does it matter if the stock market crashed or what the fuck some guy accused the house senator

that he's going to kill him some bartender how does that change your bill at rouse how does that change your mortgage it doesn't who gives a fuck today you said something to me we can't do the podcast because the AFC championship game how does that really affect your life

how does at the end of the week it's entertainment for you because you work a 40 hour week it's stressful but how fucking stressful really is that you need football go to Cuba see if they watch football on Saturdays and Sundays and they live their fucking life so there's a ton of shit

we could cut out of our lives tons and so many aspects movies, TVs whatever I don't watch I don't know what the fuck aftershows are when I first became a comic I don't know what television was when I first met Joe Rogan

and they kept telling me he was on news radio I thought he was on like CNN I didn't know what news radio was I had no fucking idea does your audience know that story about Joe Rogan yeah people know now I didn't know what news radio was no do you know the story of how he got

does your audience know the story of how he got news radio this is an amazing story so there's a comic respected and done HBO specials who auditioned and got his first

television role ever in the history of his career for news radio and he booked the job very exciting he goes to the table reading for those of you don't know in your audience the table read is where you go that first time

where you're sitting around the table with your script there's bags for you and all the cast members and the director and there's studio executives and television executives and writers all sitting there waiting to laugh as you read it from your script

and you finish the sitcom script and at the end people applaud and then you find out what you're doing for the rest of the week that you're rehearsing and you're taping this particular person was at the table read first job they ever booked very excited

and then after it was all over again there he as manager got the call we're gonna replace him he's not right we're gonna make a change and they auditioned some more people

and Joe Rogan tested and booked the role and was on the show for five years and you talk about fate do you know who that person was Ray Romano that is correct Ray Romano should send news radio Fruit Basket because Ray Romano

was the highest paid television sitcom star in one year of anybody in history so think about it he felt shitty forgetting fired you never fucking know I did a movie with a guy

I've heard stories about him and I forget what his name was he was the original Crockett they gave him money and he signed them up he was the original the guy that was gonna play Crockett on Miami Vice

and somewhere along the line they saw Don Johnson and that was it and that guy still in town still doing movies and there's a couple of movies King of Queens the original father in King of Queens a historically phenomenal

actor, comedian Jack Carter did the pilot Jerry Stiller the rest is history it's very very common when you go onto these sitcoms that you can be replaced if you're not ready and you know

it's one thing as an actor this is what's amazing about also our field and Joey knows this as well this is what's crazy about the acting profession and we're coming into pilot season now if you're an actor or an actress you only have to

fool them four times for five minutes and you could be on television for seven years and I'll tell you how this is possible you go in you do your first audition for the casting director only she or he reads the paper

like they're functionally special needs I mean they can't if you ever go into audition if you can find the casting director that reads like an actor God bless you tell me who they are it's very rare they try really hard they work really hard but they're just going through so many things

they're just reading it but you do it you do your five minutes they put you on tape and then the producers look at it and they say hmm let's bring that person back to the producer session they come back with the executive producers in the room

for their second five minutes they do their second five minutes and after that's over that's on tape and they huddle and they say you know what that was really good let's test that person so then they send them a contract that they negotiate for seven years

because you never want to get an actor to go in and test who doesn't have a deal because if they get it they could just say we want more money we want this so you do the test deal you go and your first test is with the studio like the financier

or a 20th century fox or something like that you go to the test at the studio you do your five minutes you leave and you find out if you're moving to the test of the network that's your third five minutes you get it

you go to the test for the network the network president is there the network executives the studio is there the executive producers you test for five minutes you go out you go home I got the job I am the blonde girl on two broke girls

and you are on television if you're Beth Baer for seven years and probably 150 episodes when you haven't booked the job maybe booked two jobs in 95 or 100 auditions and that's the way it works

and there's no other profession that works that way and we should be very grateful because as actors think about this if you're a brain surgeon okay you can't fuck up one time if you fuck up one time you're done

it's over your career is over you can't work in this country one time in your career if you're an actor you can fuck up 99 out of 100 times nobody gives a shit if you do well that one time

let's take Joe Rogan you're on television for six years and you have a monstrous career because you get on you prove yourself Aziz Ansari just look at all the names that have gotten their shot that have booked something

it's amazing what can happen and that's what's great about our profession yes the odds are 1 in 200 1 in 300 1 in 100 but who cares if I had a chance to play the lottery

if I had a 1 in 500 shot of winning I'd play every fucking day so if you're an actor or an actress out there or anybody in that profession you're in a great spot as long as you can go in and do extraordinary work

because if you keep preparing harder than everybody else and you keep studying harder than everybody else eventually you're going to get your shot and you're going to have a career and you're going to get on television you know you continually grow I mean they sell a lot of bullshit

in this town there's a lot of people making a lot of money in this town selling bullshit talent acting classes remedies the whole thing but if you continue to grow you know that you could be here for a lifetime nothing happens and all of a sudden you're working

at 50 fucking eight junior soprano you know and all of a sudden you're it's endless but you got to be here how many people that I'm here with that went to Montreal that got huge deals and I don't know where the fuck they are I haven't seen them in years

you'd have to if you're in I don't know how many people listen to this who are in this business but it applies to every business honestly but let's just focus on the agony you would have to work non-stop

to fuck up as an actor or an actress if you dedicate the time and you work hard to be the best representation of yourself and you work harder and smarter than everybody else

it's impossible for you not to get a gig it just can't I tell people there's certain actresses you meet along the way and they walk in your office and they're just incredible

they have poise, they walk in they're worldly, they're smart and they can go into any room and get anything they want but in the acting profession you can't do that you have to do the work and that's the problem with a lot of

if I may be so bold here and I'm generalizing a lot of very good looking actors and actresses, there's a sense of entitlement because in their personal lives they can get anything they want a beautiful woman can walk into a bar

and she'll never pay for a drink she can walk up to any guy and say let's go she can get anybody to do anything for her and so when it comes to the acting profession it's easy to think hey if I study for an hour or two here I can just walk in

and I'm gonna be like I am in my personal life but it doesn't happen that way because they don't care about that a lot of people think okay what am I gonna say when I walk in the room do I say hi, how you doing do I make a little joke here, do I do whatever

in the end nobody gives a fuck about anything but when you start reading the words to when you finish reading the words because even if you make the greatest joke in the world up front or you don't say anything in the end what they're looking at

is how you read the content that you're reading and how you performed it and what you added to it that nobody else added and that's why you book the roles you book because it's not because your average

it's not because you're doing whatever anybody else is doing it's not because it's because you clearly were the top choice and nobody else could knock you off the mountain and that's what everybody needs to realize in anything they do it's like you know if you're a person

who's fairly good looking or has charisma and you're applying to regular jobs of course if I send an actress who's really wonderful and beautiful and sexy and smart on 10 interviews

with regular jobs what do you think she's gonna go 0 for 10 it'll never happen she'll probably get offered 9 out of 10 jobs because those jobs just require somebody who can walk in a room and give people the confidence and safety

that hey I want to be associated with this person but in our town when it comes to the entertainment business you can't just be that you have to deliver the content you have to deliver the lines that are written for you

there's a lot of good looking people in this fucking town there's a lot of looking no there's a lot of great people in this fucking town and the people that you see when I watch some of the Leonardo DiCaprio he's fucking good at what he does he's not just a pretty face he's really really good at what he does

or at least what I perceive look at Gilbert Grape one of his first movies ever Edward Norton Primal Fear look at these people's performances Richard Gere did not want Edward Norton he didn't want Edward Norton because Edward Norton was just a Yale graduate

had his resume was empty but he came in and his performance in the auditions were so extraordinary he had nothing to lose so extraordinary that the producers were fighting with Richard Gere

we have to have this guy Richard Gere just wanted somebody that he felt safe with that he knew had booked a lot of jobs and had done a lot of acting but Edward Norton was so far imagine how great you have to be to knock off

100 actors who've done like 10 movies it's you know that's what you have to look at when you look at that anytime you see somebody new in a movie you have to say to yourself how did this person get the gig well they got the gig because they were 10 times better than everybody else

in the auditions and that's how they got it I know sometimes you go to see a television show or a film and you look at an actor and you say god that person doesn't seem like they're that great in this how did they get it well they got it because

some people are great at certain things but not a lot of others some people are great at getting the gig just like in a job like a domino is you're great at interviewing you get the gig and then you crash the car seven times you know people are good at different things I love booking the gig I hate doing it

just to prove to myself I love lighting the gig you said something very interesting when I first got here so I had this guy that I would go to his office and I would see him fight on the phone for me so I knew

if he got me in there I had to go in there and fuck them up so at night I would cancel comedy gigs and stay in I would lose 75 that I needed to get this role so when I would go into a room it's so funny I would walk into an audition sign my name

I'd look around the room I'd see all these actors I had seen in movies and I'd sit in for about two minutes Barry Katz I'd be in the toilet I said I might as well get in the car I'm gonna lose this and then I'd think about what I'd done stand up like the places I had been

like I've been the buffalo to that bowling alley I've been Iowa to that fucking pool hall these motherfuckers in the room never did that I'm gonna go in and get the role and that's what I would think about the work I had done I thought about those nights I stayed up

and rode a Greyhound bus and that's what made me go in there and just go fuck and ape shit and I also listened to what they were doing even if I'm the first one I'll sign my name number five and I'll listen to all five of those guys go in there and do the same exact audition

for Bader and Biel the same I'll take one thing and turn it around and that one thing will get me a callback and by the time I go to the callback that'll give me three or four days oh new motherfucking jam to go in there and freak them out again

plus I'll save a little bit for the third callback so they think I'm fucking Johnny bananas but I'm really not I put it together so I would look at an audition straight and make notes then I would smoke a joint and relax for an hour and look at it again and put the coloring

into it and that's how I would do it and then I'd look at it again for the callback but it was always a process for me and even though I knew I didn't have a chance in my mind I just want them to put my head shut up at the wall to maybe fuck

with the casting process for a few days like if the guys agent called back and said we want them to have a double Y then we'll go you know let's just go with Joey D we're not going to have this problem and I'm sure I got a lot of roles because of that because I did so well

when I got smiley face what's the girl's name Faris she told me at the movie at the table read she goes I was in the read one time you did so well I knew you weren't good for that but I felt so bad you came down I had to give you something

so she gave me two days of security guard you know that's what was always my intention to not to book it but to fuck up the auditioning process in a way and you just said something really interesting about that you know she gave you the security guard thing

that's another thing when you're in this profession if you do really well but for some reason you're just not the right type or it's not going to happen that way that's beyond your control even if you're the greatest sometimes they're just looking for something and they're just

set on it no matter what but if you do really great work they're going to call you and give you that security guard role they're going to call you and give you a guest star because they know that you deserved it and just fate would have it that they just couldn't put it together there

and it's the same when you go in the job for the the accounting firm and you go in you have a great interview but for some reason they're looking for a guy who has you know mortgage experience and you don't have that well you'll get the call for the next thing

they're doing because they loved you and you were prepared and you were really working hard to make an impact on them who cast two broke girls, Julie? Julie Ashton Julie Ashton has given me more

jobs in this town than anybody she did one of my first podcasts and it's one of the most popular podcasts I have she is the best about I went in to see two years ago I went in for two broke girls for a mobster or something I just to set your audience up Julie Ashton cast

Reno911, MadTV the internship movie two broke girls, she's done a ton of stuff she started the Steven Spielberg company and her story is fascinating in that she you talk about taking jobs late at night

for certain situations she took a job, she wanted to make as much money as possible so she took a job as a hostess at what do you call the Chippendales and so she would work till four o'clock in the morning get her tips, sleep for two hours

and get the Spielberg's office by eight and that was her lineage in her first job in history so talk about the two broke girls, I'm sorry well a year and a half ago I went in for two broke girls I thought I killed in the audition

on the way home, showing off the phone rings you booked it but they said I booked something else and I drove home and I go what the fuck are they talking about I went in for two broke girls I didn't book the show with John whatever and showing up she goes we'll save you for two broke girls

I got this opened up she goes as you were walking out of casting one of the producers was coming in so she was casting two shows at once but I've known Julie, Julie has put me basically in four pilots to somebody

when you come into this town as a comedian or an actor the book of pilot is huge to get a call to come in and shoot a pilot just like that like twice she's like come on down I need a cop I forgot to cast what are you talking about yeah come on down just come on down

go to the table read it's three days this is what it pays a rehearsal so it's rough now what's happened lately is when a lot of more of the movies are shooting here people always call me and offer me three days, two days another movie in New Orleans

everything's local hire so we've lost that a lot of people have lost that little market that we had and I was one of those guys I learned how to act with those bullshit roles I always encourage actors that I work with if there's a local hire just say

hey I don't care you're going down to New Orleans you're paying for your own ticket you're paying for your own hotel and you're not making any money but you're going to be on screen and I encourage everybody to do that it was a local hire they gave me a hotel because I put a Houston address

and I thought it would be a great idea and sometimes I've always hustled I've always believed in the hustle and I get that from just growing up in New York City for the longest yard they didn't want to see me they said they wanted to see celebrities only

I thought about who they were going to see the choices they had and I said they're really good celebrities but they're not comics Adam Sandler's about comedy he's not about celebrities so I put an audition on tape I bought a little football helmet I bought a tight shirt and I sent it in

and here we fucking are I still believe that I've just gotten lazy everything's more secured now you just can't go on a lot and drop off a tape blah blah blah you have to learn that and I think it applies to every business

because when I came out here I had a job and it took me about 18 months to get another job I had like 10, 12, 13 interviews and didn't get a second job and like you adapt and you learn you learn different ways to like interview you look like a Chinese Jew tonight

that's how high you are what do you expect? delivering Chinese food with a little ponytail coming out of your head like Fumanchu look at you look at Chinese Jew tonight what is wrong with you what has gotten into you you calling me telling me we're going to do 500mg

before 8am hahahaha think about that what you just said you went on 13 interviews and you went 0 for 13 when I first got out here yeah do you know what it takes to go 0 for 13 I don't know if it was 13 but

you booked as many jobs as a dead guy yeah how is that possible I had a job and uh no no forget that job how do you go 0 for 13 how is that possible because in this town

there's so many there's so many people you were talking about it earlier how there's only one job they don't hire 10 assistant editors they don't have a new class so uh it's kind of like auditioning and at the beginning

you're not as experienced they can't just leave you because it's going to be at night so they can't leave you alone you need to know what you're doing you can't get the job without experience but you can't get experience without the job so it was tough so I spent 18 months building furniture

doing bullshit jobs as a PA and I finally got a second job are you really on some kind of medication or anything it's not Nancy Grace doesn't think it's medication what are you partaking in tonight he gives me a lot of edibles

I gave him an edibles because I just noticed something really odd like it just kicked in oh no it's been kicked in when I walked up the stairs you were perfectly normal and now you're like a shell of yourself oh my god I gave him the star of death

what did he give you I gave him the star of David direct from Israel what is it it's a gummy bear with THC in it and how often do you take that every time I say it it's not my choice

it's not your choice you call me you called me four times today dog by this time in the second quarter first week second quarter late March you're gonna be doing 500 milligrams before breakfast

does Joey take these gummy bears Joey's taking them I ate three of them how come he's still the same guy you're like an amoeba because he's been doing it for 30 years I was trying to build up his tolerance Joey's complains and he goes home

he had that game one in the morning six o'clock he was still sleeping he was fast I think I realized why you went 0 for 13 but he didn't do that I interviewed Byron Allen he said

I said do you smoke do you drink do you take drugs what did you do in your career I said you're a comic he said I never wanted to start something

that the majority of the people who already had were trying to quit not that many people want to quit weed though look at me crackin funny and when I'm looking towards you all I can see is the Jewish star behind you I love it that's why I give them the Jewish stars of debt

they're called stars of anarchy that's incredible 25mg plus plus just in case I know what you're saying you're a fucking soldier look at you so Joey you're just immune to this stuff now

no he's not are you immune to it no I get fucked up it hasn't creeped up on you yeah I'm pretty fucked up I think I'm over here giggling at the whole thing 0 for 13 I think that it's like anything else

I think that whether you're looking for a job or not if you're just walking into businesses and handing a resume you're dying in today's world in today's world it wasn't like my mentality that I would knock on your door I just went into a place the other day

and there was a kid selling himself he was telling the owner wherever the fuck I was a dry cleaner I think it was he was saying wow but I come in for three days can't do that no more it's all corporate shit that's what we did when we were coming up hey babby what's up I need help

listen you have to pay me for one week let me go in there I'll be the best assistant you have that's what people did can't do that nothing it's corporate I have every week I have so many interns trying to just come in

and just dedicate hours and hours of time to just being around my office it's unbelievable you know the amounts that these kids are willing to work and fight to get in the business and learn about the business it's absolutely incredible

that's how I got my first job and then the thing that got me that oh for 3rd to 0 for 12 I had I had applied to a job and I was gonna get it but then she gave it to like her next choice so we went to lunch

and she just gave my resume out I got a call from Hell's Kitchen I was making $800 a week before taxes and the guy called me as I was going into that awful job and he said hey I can only offer you $12.50 a week is that gonna be okay and my head almost

exploded and I only got I didn't apply to that job I would never apply to Hell's Kitchen but just someone I met handed my resume off so it actually is better to walk in now than just doing online online job searches because that's people do apply to that many jobs I can't imagine being

Barry Katz as a producer and putting the breakdown out in today's economy in Los Angeles for a role for a guest star and who you would get I would be in shock I would you'd get a thousand submissions you do get a lot of

submissions for things and that's the way it is but it's still and what happens is people again electronically submit now and a lot of people submit auditions electronically and you'd be surprised like people like I know this is gonna really blow you away

like Clint Eastwood for instance Clint Eastwood does not go into a room and audition anybody he feels like it's unfair to the actor he feels like they you know why create stress and anxiety for an actor

let them put themselves on tape 100 times and take the best take and send it to me I'll look at them all and I'll decide who I'm gonna book and that's how he books people so it's like it happens a lot so now people are putting them

believe it or not I don't know if your audience knows this or not but something in the last few years that's been happening is there's actually tests for network shows where they don't bring the actors in to test they just look at the tapes that they did

and you can actually get a role that way that's why I encourage anybody in this profession to get up early in the morning and just start putting yourself on tape for anything it doesn't matter pretend there's a role get at the sides from some or the script from something

and just pretend you're auditioning for it over and over and over again and work on it and you'll get to the next level we're just laughing because he was on a podcast yesterday and I know you do send in some tapes but I don't know when I first came to Los Angeles

for me it meant the world I was at the comedy store I was at the improv, I was at the laugh factory and there's this reverse thing it's uh I want you to work for me but I also want you

to fucking jump through hoops well wait a second you contacted me what's the fucking big deal one thing I always hated Barry Katz was Barry Katz's producer would stand up and say he needs tape fuck Barry Katz, he lives in Beverly Hills

come down to the store smell me, feel the other comics I didn't think for me and I proved it I didn't think for me that I would go well with tapes for me to send you a tape of my act it just wouldn't go well

I knew if you shook my hand and we bullshitted there you go fucking Joey's crazy and I did that with you I did that with me and I had a thing with you one time and if I'm remembering this correctly I was doing a a national ampoune series of DVDs

four of them I think and one I was doing like a blue show like a show with comics were a little bit dirtier and I remember I believe calling you and asking you for a videotape and you essentially told me to go fuck myself

and come down and watch you in my mind I probably wanted to say fuck him but instinctually I just said I gotta go see this guy and I went to see you and it was over

I always knew as a comic I always knew Comedy Central went like me but if I had a stand how I have with this podcast and I told you about my life and the struggle and helping up I knew you would like it's like when you watch 24-7 and you watch a boxer

and also you see him with his kids and you see him swimming on a ballet class and his daughters painting his nails and you're like Jesus fucking Christ I knew that if there was ever an opportunity to look beyond the stand up that I could I would have a better chance with you

so people come up to me and go hey man I was just in Dane anybody would come up to me and go hey man I was just in San Antonio whatever if you wanna mention your name you want you to send him tape well wait a second

if you mention my fucking name why does he want tape it's for a feature act it's not even a headline just tell the guy I'll call him and give me the fucking week of work so I always felt Barry it was always like a power move like I always just felt it was just a stupid power move

I'm not asking you for 45 minutes it's for 2,000 bucks you're gonna give me 600 bucks you barely wanna give me a whole town and feed me what's the tape just give me the fucking week Joey I'm sorry let me just share this with you

something you said earlier in this hey Joey did you see that catch of Des Bryant what do you think of the call I can't help you buddy I can't help you I don't have time to watch the fucking football game I can't help you

maybe there's people out there I don't have time to go down and see comedians or take people's words for it and they just want to just go with what they see in front of them but there's more to this story I refused to send the tape

the power of no I said no I'm not sending the tape and finally somebody called me and said he really wants to hire you but he's not gonna hire you without a tape and I just had this instinct from going to comedy club owners seeing the tapes and seeing the stack of dust on them

and the envelopes unopened like I'm gonna see something I went and I bought a tape and I took it out of its wrap when I put Joey Dears on it I didn't even put my act on it I sent it to him do you know what happened he booked you he booked me

and he told me that it was one of the best sets he had ever seen and I said do you see what so right then I knew the whole tape shit what a great story fucking freak man I used to watch tapes with the sound off and that's how I would decide

if I wanted to work with somebody or not why? cause you can tell when somebody's got it you can tell when somebody's a star with the sound off okay very interesting, Sealy you learn this shit about six months ago Lee Korn when he was on the call

he wanted to be an intern for it well he keeps telling me I'm gonna be a comedy manager someday well you're not gonna be a comedy manager can I just tell you something honestly in my heart you're not gonna be a comedy manager getting fucking high every day

or every podcast or whatever let me just say something cause if you look, this is you're gonna hate me for saying this but I don't care you're different because

I worked with Chappelle for eight years the guy woke up at the crack of two smoked a bag of weed a day and if you can find me that many people who are geniuses like him on half a hand let me know

the red light went on magical he would write material based on, in my opinion how the drugs were affecting him or how he just had this thing that works sort of like how he's obliging me like Snoop Dog

you know some people I think the drug really helps their art form now after a while I think it hurts them and it takes its toll later on if they can't pardon the expression, weed themselves out of it

but you know Chappelle, I felt that the lifestyle he had made him even more of a genius who a guy went 0 for 13 applying the dominoes

or whatever the fuck it is the fact is if you are going to be a great manager this is a show this is a professional show this podcast is one of the top 50 podcasts in the world in comedy, okay and you are a representation

of the brand if you take a drug before you go on the air then your representation of the brand is the fact that you are somebody who is lost control of I'm just saying

so if you're a manager out there what's to stop you when you're doing an important thing with managing to take that drug before you do an important deal the issue is I'm working with Joey Diaz and the thing of his brand

and before big deals we have a lot of documentary we only have one day to shoot first thing he gives me is banana bread if I'm not high people yell at me on twitter so once it becomes a comedy manager

it's completely different the reason why I love you to death are you trying to tell me wait a second Joey are you trying to tell me that if you said to Joey look I just have to tell you this I am gonna go clean starting tomorrow

that Joey would fire you he wouldn't fire me but he wouldn't no would he fire you he might would he fire you yes or no it's a possibility hell no but I poisoned him 3 days later anyway

he knows that he'd give me a sandwich but you don't need a sandwich you don't need the water you don't drink the water I'd fucking watch I'd melt it and put it in his fingertips

I never did this before the jobs I didn't get the jobs I didn't get were tv files if I didn't do this to him Barry Katz he would go home and watch comedy specials listen to podcasts every day and he wouldn't even go out and he'd be the palest you

you've ever seen how much paler can this guy get this guy makes Jen Gaffigan look like I beat him to death to leave the fucking house what do you think I call him at 9 in the morning every day and I clocked him to see what time he leaves he tells me

he's making breakfast and he's headed to the gym I go how the fuck do you eat I don't understand did you just say heading to the gym he lost 80 pounds 80 pounds I'm the treadmill he's a savage look at him 80 pounds

what if you amputate some legs what happens no I haven't worked out since June so you're trying to tell me how much did you weigh when you started 315 what made you decide to go that day and make that happen I was 315

no but you were 315 for a while what made you decide to do it I had lost a bunch of weight before I did juicing for a month and I lost pretty much the same amount of weight but I put it all back on it still makes him laugh cause it was terrible I didn't eat for a month just make

and then I just I put it back on and he he had been bugging me to work out so I decided to work out just to walk Barry cause we do the podcast and he'll go home and he's a smart fucking guy

this guy he comes up with good ideas he knows the internet I mean he's put this podcast on the map but I don't want him to sit in that fucking house all day so I torment him to leave the house and go get some sun so finally got a girlfriend and him and I go to the gym together so you got a girlfriend there

he's a savage you're in a half yesterday yesterday now she met you when you were 315 no I was oh he was 180 when he met you the mother started feeding went down the tubes he met a Spanish girl it was all over

but the shot in Barrycats why are you spitting I don't know anything they fucking cook up do you want to make you food you should find a Mexican grandma to make you tacos it would change your life she made you tamales

so that would mean that she's like if she fed you and you gain weight then that means you both gain weight together yeah we lost about 75 pounds she's doing great too they fell in love it was love at first sight Barrycats

you know what it is 5 minutes of meeting a guy if they're going to be with him I knew in 5 minutes when I saw Lee I wanted to be with him I saw fireworks and shit he's a fucking savage but this is the fact

this is what really impresses me about you Barrycats we go to comedy clubs to do a live podcast Barrycats it's like you go into another fucking country the comedy club the comedy club manager is looking

like what is it a podcast so how many guys are performing it's a podcast how much time are they doing Lee and I look at each other and go this isn't happening and I hear stories on a daily

of people still going 2015 still going what's a podcast okay for the normal Joe who lives in Boston who works outside and whatever isn't computer savvy I don't expect them to know

what a fucking podcast is but for the manager of Three Arts he better know what the fucking podcast is an agent at CAA a publicity fucking moron at some company they better know what a podcast is because even if they don't listen to him

okay it's in their realm it's in their realm Barrycats so just just the thought that okay you took the realm but you went out there and did it I respect that

because these morons are still living in 2010 still thinking that they're going to get a deal Montreal and put your client on television it's a different fucking climate out there these podcast numbers are what cable TVs are doing cable TV shows are doing it's fucking incredible

I don't know if you know this or not how I sort of got into it indirectly was that you know Jay Moore wanted to do a podcast and he finally decided when he was going to launch and when he was going to do it and he called me like

the day before and said I want you to do my first podcast and I said Jay I'm I never done a podcast this is a celebrity thing you're interviewing comics and celebrities I'm not following your first show

he's like Barry I want you to do it I said Jay I'm not going to do it it's not Barry be in my house at seven o'clock so I do his first podcast and at the time I don't even know how this happened because Jay wasn't really great on

social media he didn't have a radio show but from what I understand that first podcast that first day at launch it was the number one highest rated podcast that day in comedy might have been the world who the hell knows

and the producers told me that it was listened to by I think 450,000 people and here I was the recipient of being in the podcast where he was doing where there were 450,000 people

and so he calls me after that he says I want you to do my third podcast I said Jay you can't repeat me right away it's not the way you gotta have Barry come down I said Jay I just get down here

I do the third one 390,000 people listen to that one I finish it whatever I have good time I never done it before he calls me again I want you to do my tenth podcast I'm like Jay

you can't do three of me ten you're this isn't the way Barry don't question me or the way I want to do things I know what I'm doing people are listening to these with you and I and they're getting stuff about the industry

about what's happening and it's they're liking it so again like another 300,000 so by his tenth podcast over a million people had listened to podcasts that I was on and then the wheels started turning like maybe

there's something here that where I can maybe help some people share these stories of these executives and these people and their journeys from humble beginnings to how they got to where they're going and what they do

Joey it's a I just share with you a few little snippets, Andrew Panay the producer of wedding crashers and earth to echo this guy was an intern went to intern a tapestry films he told me he would

get there at like four to six in the morning every day and stay until everybody left and he would come up with ideas and pitched them ideas all the time of movies to do he came up with the idea for wedding crashers and within five years

he was a partner at the company okay Byron Allen unbelievable story the guy was his mother had a job at NBC he didn't have any money at all so he used to hang during the summers

and he would watch the tonight show he would stay outside and watch Johnny come up with his car and nobody talked to Johnny but he would wait from the walk by and John would say how you doing kid how you doing kid after Johnny left he would go and

talk to the guys on the sound stage and he would work and read his cue cards and read the monologue and he would stand there and practice Johnny's monologue while they cleaned up and wouldn't you know he was the youngest person in history ever to do the tonight show with Johnny Carson

and there's the story Carol Leifer okay Carol Leifer auditioned for the tonight show twenty two times you talk about oh for thirteen twenty two times they said no to her and the time that she auditioned the twenty

third time where she thought just like you did at that audition well just do it again and whatever and I don't think I did well she got the call and she did the tonight show I mean there's all the doctor Phil was homeless living in a car with his

alcoholic father look at his trajectory the guy did the Oprah show for four years for five hundred and thirty five dollars ten cents every Tuesday four years and

now he's been the number one guy on daytime television for twelve years it's like everybody has a story of where they got the Mario Casara the guy who produced Terminator and Rambo and Rambo because it's great story where he was like

he was his philosophy was don't bargain with anybody just the deal even if you pay extra the time you spend going back and forth negotiating it's just a waste of time rather spend the extra money

so this one time he gets a call from Jeff Berg who is the president of ICM at the time he's about to get on a flight he says listen um how much time before your flight an hour and a half I got the script if you want it you can have it for two hundred and fifty thousand dollars he's like two hundred and fifty thousand dollars

that's a lot of money look I'll give you the first shot I'll let my assistant bring it to the airport brought it to the airport read it before he got on the plane called Jeff Berg and said I want it Jeff Berg says cool flies to London gets to London

whatever ten hours later picks up the phone calls Jeff Berg says so how we doing got this deal done listen I don't have to tell you this Mario but uh I gave the script to a few other people and uh the price has gone up a little bit he's like what's the price gone up to

um two point seven five million he's like you mother fuck two points you told me it was two hundred and fifty thousand dollars I know I'm sorry I just wanted to see what it could get do you still want it

he's like you mother fuck what does it take for me to have this script Berg says three million dollars and you can have it he's like god shit I'm hanging up this phone and I have this script for three million you tell

me right now you give me a word I give you my word he hangs up the phone he paid three million dollars for a script that was basic instinct so there's all these stories like this like Sam Goris the president of paradigm this guy you talk about getting

the shit kicked out of you biggest moment of his life uh 1998-99 Jerry Maguire his client Cuba Gooding Jr Wednesday Academy Award he's going through all the parties

you know how it is with your agent they're congratulating everybody's hugging you Sam you deserve it Sam this is great they're hugging each other they're everything but he's high five until six in the morning every party he gets in the office that day around noon

he gives himself a little break gets in a call that comes in the office Cuba Gooding Jr hey listen Sam this isn't really working out your agents are a little too small for me I'm gonna I'm gonna move on to a bigger agency thanks buddy

okay gets the shit kicked out of him I say how do you handle that he said I went home that night and I spent all night long laying out the plans of what paradigm would be a literary agency we'd have the commercial agency

we'd have actors we'd bring all these people in and I'd build an agency so where that would never happen to me again if it did I'd never have to worry about it so everybody has their moments and unique things that they talk about that are just

absolutely incredible that you get to hear it's Deon Warwick I interviewed Deon Warwick which isn't out yet you talk about cracked foundations if you remember her and this is before a lot of people's time but Deon Warwick is the probably I believe

the second highest selling female singer in history Whitney Houston's there too and so she she is a backup singer for the Drifters in New York she's going from Hartford to New York to do the backup singing

and she meets Burt Backarack and Hal David this young writing team and they say we want to write for you we want to do a contract with you we love your voice we want to write songs for you we think we can

do great things she says okay but I just want to let you know that one song that you played me that you guys I want to record that one first I just want you to know that in our deal that's the one I want to record first

they say no problem they do the deal they say come a month later she's driving to New York a month later she turns on the radio that song is on the radio with a different artist they fucked her on the contract

and I said to her how do you start a relationship with a cracked foundation like that where you have to work with these people you have a contract how do you know they're not going to fuck you again she said it's very rare I sat down with them

I told them how unhappy I was I told them how things had to be and if that ever happened again I would never do business with them again and from that point on the relationship was like 20 number one hits so everybody has a story

that's unique of how they came up or they got fired or something happened Phil Rosenthal the creator of every bit of loves Raymond in college he's writing and he thinks he has talent and he's writing this thing with two other people

and it's becoming successful it's like an off-broadway thing it's doing well it's Tony and Tina's wedding and right when it starts to do well he gets a call from the other writers saying listen

we don't need you anymore and he didn't register anything with the writer's guilt didn't do anything and he got completely fucked and he lost millions and millions of dollars but he worked hard every day and wouldn't you know

he signed the largest deal for a half hour comedy writer in history I believe it was 50 million dollars so everybody has their story of how they persevered through these stories that in their lives that really were bone crushing

and how they came back and how they persevered and I think that's what everybody I think examples that they need to see that happened because everybody has those low moments I mean you know the low moments that you've been through and you know where you are right now

and with this podcast that's why you're so such an inspiration is because you know I don't have to I will say this to your audience maybe you don't tell them or not before you did this podcast you might have thought about quitting

the business not quitting I was gonna not go on the road and just do sets in town and just do TV and film work to keep my insurance alive that was it I found the loophole and I was content with it and so look what happened

you were at your lowest point in your mind anybody who's an artist who thinks about giving up what they love for the most part that's the lowest of the low but you found a way to get the word out

to people and it's the thing is this is what people don't understand and I know you're laughing for some other reason but this is the thing that people don't understand it doesn't matter if 99 out of 100

people hate you if one of those 100 love you you're a superstar you're fucking done there's 7 billion people on the planet if one out of a million people love you

you're a star a small commitment always becomes a bigger commitment all you need is one guy and you build on that I don't know Barry I just wanted to that was my biggest

and oh god you devil he's in a restaurant with this girl and he's got a kid he's got a fake defunct that he likes quitting music to have a day job that was one of my biggest fears having to wrap my tail and go back to Denver

that was my biggest fear was having to be one of those guys L.A. for gay people I didn't want to do that I knew that if you worked hard you'd get a little opening I didn't want to be Seinfeld I never wanted to be Seinfeld

I just wanted to prove to myself I could do this nice and easy no static at all Jerry will be the first one to tell me comedian shut up and do the fucking work he wouldn't say fuck though

but he'd say shut up stop complaining do the work let me give some shout out to you Bobby Sharon, happy birthday Cocksucker Chris McDougal Don Wrangler

Mike Vincent James Harrison Zachary Alaska William McGrath you're fucked up sure you're fucked up that star of David wasn't too bad today so I'm thinking of doing the bypass

sleeve I went to the psychiatry session today I went to the support group a timeout here you have to go to a psychiatry session to figure out what you're going to do that's what they require all this stuff

they require a ton of shit does your audience know what this requires it's fascinating do you mind going into it no my blood pressure is really high it's hereditary it was high when I was in shape

and over the years it's just got worse and worse I dropped a hundred pounds but the weight's not coming off fast enough I've had two surgeries on the knees and they messed up an EKG and I became friends with this cardiologist and he recommended it to me years ago and I said no

I go to Weight Watchers and they were successful for me but now it's like you had a plateau I need to move the weight too fast so he goes well I spoke to Lisa Lampinelli and she had the sleeve done her husband had it done

she's divorcing but before you go into it because the audience and a lot of people don't know what the sleeve is we spoke about it on Monday's podcast today was the day the requirements you have to go meet with the doctor

they break the dietitian down tell you what to expect it's like a four hour fucking thing you go they give you a checkup you have to see this list you have to go to a support group for one week in mandatory and then you have to go to a different support group

you have to go see a psychotherapist and do a test a psychiatrist and do a test and speak to them about the commitment level of what this takes because it's not just getting a surgery so today this morning I got up and I went and took the

like I said the test and they go over the scores and they go see things what do you mean by that I go Cosby I knew he was a fucking tree jumper and she just looked at me like what are you talking about

stupid things like that that's what they ask tree jumper yeah and then tonight I had to go to this thing from 6.30 to 7.30 at St. Joe's hospital where they do the surgeries and it was just about food

big decision are there any things that they've said about the food or things that you didn't share on Monday that you can share today I think this is fascinating what do they tell you not to eat well once you here's what Lee and I were discussing before you arrived

we were discussing that the commitment level is such that if you did the commitment level without the surgery you'd still drop to 60 fucking pounds because I got to go on a liquid fast for a month before the surgery and a month after the surgery

what did you lose 70 pounds okay then so what's the fucking difference so these are the doubts that you get as you get closer now this group tonight had people who were in pre-op people like me that was still in the beginning phase

people who were in pre-op were 30 days away from their surgery 10 days away from their surgery then they had a couple guys there that were you know a couple years after the surgery and they're still struggling so if I'm going to give you my fucking stomach and I can't eat Chinese food no more

what's the sense if I'm still going to be struggling three years later you're going to kosher Chinese food I just don't understand that point I was giving you half my stomach to end this drama not because I got to go fucking

work my ass off afterward the surgery is like just a deterrent and you get sick if you eat too much right you get sick if you eat too much yeah it's not like a magic pill no no it's not at all how's Lisa doing Lisa Lampin oh it looks great

you know everybody in New York that New York circle got very awoken when Dan Lafini just died at 51 so she did it the husband did it the chick from the view the comedian Rosie O'Donnell

oh and then the uh Mike and Molly chick just lost a bunch of weight did she do the surgery? I don't know if she did the surgery I saw her the other day she looks kind of big I don't know what fucking surgery she did I don't know I just saw her on the headline oh she lost weight maybe but that's another reason

I have a two year old I was raised without a father I get along with this little girl I just uh I don't know I get scared sometimes when I went to the initial consultation it was three in the afternoon I didn't drive on the 405 I didn't cut nobody off

when I walked in there after taking my blood pressure medication it was still 190 over 114 that's not good was it supposed to be? 120 over 80 so there's reasons there's also mitigating circumstances

that's basically it it's not like I'm not trying or working out I'm trying this is the thing if I have a suggestion for you you haven't asked me for my suggestion you're a comedy man you ain't no fucking doctor so you know what I'm saying

but it all applies now for Lee now I don't know his history but the pattern right now is that he was at 315 and now he's at 245 235

and so whatever he's doing the pattern he's doing right now in his life is working now he might be committed to this for his life or he might not be but I'm trying to be it sucks because everyone

when you lose weight you gain it back it sucks taking it back off but it's not committed to this pattern you're okay Joey for you you've been trying to do it your way your whole life it hasn't worked so why not go with God and let somebody else try to do it a different way

you know and that's the same with management it's like artists come into my office and they've been doing things their way their whole life and I'm asking them to try something a different way try a different approach and it's the same with anybody who's going to be successful

you do things look when you audition for a role and you get it all you have to do the next time you audition is think about what you did to get that role you don't go into the next audition thinking let me do this audition the way I blew

that last audition and it's the same with life with this operation no are you involved absolutely so you've been doing things trying to lose weight well it's not like you coming to me and saying I have this new Jewish technology to lose weight from Israel and stomach barricades

it's not you saying to me I have a new diet we're going to eat hummus I'd rather lose half my stomach than my whole life no I agree with you I just don't know the I have to just think more and look at this whole food choice thing a little more than give up your stomach

that's a big fucking commitment did surgery make you nervous in 2015 Lee they've done you know this medicine has helped us move on moving to 70 to 60 now it's helping people live to 80 you know

so I got a few years left is what you're saying yeah man you got tons of fucking time you know in good shape you take care of yourself you got no stress I was just before I came here I was fitting my walker for tennis balls you still got 3 million hidden in singles you know what the fuck you still got 3 million in a mattress

in Miami get away money just in case from your mouth to God's ears come on stop all you fucking Jews got some money hidden away in their mattress you won't touch it you could be starving for fucking days you could be sitting there like Gandhi losing weight by the minute don't ever go a night long

and you'll look at that fucking money and go fuck it I'd rather start before I break that 20 Lee sonny I tell him cock sucker these eating bagels from Rouse every day the package every day every year I love you guys I'm gonna be at

uh helium buffalo next week get ready to freeze your ass off and the week after that I'm at the Columbus funny bone you understand me so hopefully your people will be out there Super Bowl weekend where you at Lee I'm here aren't you going to San Diego this weekend

for your anniversary next weekend look at you where you taking her to huh she went to college in San Diego so she's taking me around is she yeah you have a good time what hotel are you staying at I forget we did one of those deals you get like a five star room

and you just don't know where it is I just have to put it in and take your chances but in like a good area and a good class so we did that it's like it's not a name brand hotel but it's right downtown so it should be fun you know being in a museum the zoo where you going to go no she wants to drink

drink you going to get some tacos and shit hell yeah that's why I love this guy he's honest he's a fucking savage look at him that's motherfucker fucking Barry telling me the best manager in town look at you I never said he wasn't going to fuck I never said the gills

I never said you were going to be a manager telling people to suck your dick and shit all I said was all I said was what I think you need to do to be the best he's the best he's almost there he's going to get this shit some day Lee is here

Lee is here as your co-host you could have anybody as your co-host but he chose you you know why he chose you I'm not sure because you're the best for him please the fucking man it doesn't matter that you went 0 for 13 you went 1 for 1 here at the church what's happening listen man

at his age I would have missed this podcast 10 times when we were doing it at 6 in the morning he was here every morning before I was you know he's responsible he's a young man he's great man and this town people get excited about stuff I found something I was cleaning my drawer

and I found something at the bottom of the drawer somebody gave me and this was just remarkable like 4 years ago they gave me bank information and the investor information and what they were going to do with this movie and it was the kid from Superbad

they had him attached and what they were going to do and this girl today is selling flowers in Seattle she just Facebooked me and wished me a merry Christmas like one of those mass merry Christmas things and I looked and I go what have happened to that bro oh my god that's who's script that was

she had an investor in the Hollywood Hills who was giving a 7 million she just disappeared one day so for him to stick it out I applaud him most people would have tapped out right now let me give a shout out to my sponsors I don't know what the fuck you're doing with your resolutions

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and that's the key word deliver it to your house also a big shout out to my boys over at honor.com run and shit at the CES in Las Vegas Dave Foley over there shaking hands

tim cannelly letting motherfuckers know what's crack or lack in the world of iron dragon tv if you're into classic martial art films instructional films on working out go to iron dragon right now and take a look at what they got they got chinese mafia movies they got classic

what's that guy's name Jackie Chan before he came to the states smoke a number eat a couple donuts go to iron dragon tv get two free rentals on me go to the box and press in oh shit

two free motherfucking rentals to rock your world you know why that's how barry cats rolls also you're sitting there you fucking got those cotton underwears those box of things you probably got flies in them you got chlamydia juice leaking in those motherfuckers the average man wears their underwears

for 7 years you filthy motherfuckers do me a favor go to meondies.com right now they ain't fucking around they give you free shipping direct to canada and the united states and guess what they ship it to free right to your house you don't gotta leave

you don't gotta go to war mart and look around and may believe you don't know what fucking size you wear this shit comes right to your house meondies they fit tight they have that material it pulls the sweat right out of your nutsack so it's nice and so

your nutsack is nice and breathable you always want that when I go to jujitsu my nutsack doesn't fall out of the side when I'm jujitsuing that's very nice they stay contoured in there nice sweat free go to meondies.com and press in Joey

and get what percent off 20 20 like a motherfucker and guess what else they get to live it right to your house and that's who's better than meondies.com a quality underwear and they get delivered to your house you don't have to leave your fucking house

well we're talking about quality underwears you don't want to be flabby and have shit hanging out over the side so go to naturebox.com right now for nutritious delicious snacks and guess what else they're gonna give you five fucking bags for free sent to your house

not a dead choice of your choice you got cashews you're gonna try the chocolate nom nom's you're gonna try the fucking organic trail mix oh my god the french cream granola the french french

I don't know but I personally will tell you that this stuff is the greatest stuff oh my god I love nature box and you know what else you're gonna love it's free bitch don't get no better than that so I don't need no excuses go to naturebox.com

go to naturebox.com and press in oh shit I got a motherfucking box sent right to your house delivered to your door delicious what do you like those cinnamon and sugar corn kernels go to naturebox.com

I'm not fucking with you go to naturebox.com and you can pick your own little fucking five bags to live at your house I ain't fucking around with you no more Joey get a free package so I want to thank Iron Dragon TV

I want to thank me on these and I want to thank naturebox.com don't forget free to live it right to your door and I want to thank my main man over here Barry Castle coming and dropping knowledge on your bitches straight and on me legal on 13 and on

naturebox needs to talk to that door guy last night who made those pistachios and tremendous and don't forget I was reading a book the other day flash blood blood is a drug it's by my man Joseph Hirsch I started reading and it fucking grabbed me

I'm going to do a review of this book not fucking bad he sent it to me nice kid he's been on me for about a year to read his stuff in the holidays I found some time to read a couple books and I read one of his we're going to review it very interesting about Afghanistan the whole fucking deal

so that's it what do you got planned for the future though what's going on right now at my man fucking Barry Katz Enterprises well I got some great podcasts coming up on industry standard I got Rob Schneider coming up I just did the best of 2014 and

and Deon Warwick which would be exciting so but most of all I'm excited to be here and I'm honored and it's a privilege honestly to be here to be asked back you have no idea how full I am I love you Barry Katz I didn't forget about you baby boy I just I don't see you out no more

to get to get that call to get that call it was really really touching you fucking don't come out no more you're in the manager witness relocation playing well I guess I have the Joe Ideas philosophy people ask me to come out and say fuck what do I have to come out for

that's true you're home you got everything a man can want like Sosa did you about Cassius Morris he got like Donald Rawlings on his show he's doing like a live podcast I'm a club up there Cassius Morris doesn't play games you understand me but anyway have a good night

I love you guys we'll see you Sunday night stay black have a great week and don't forget buffalo next weekend and the weekend after that the columbus funny bone thank you very much Lee Kevigetti is slipping thank you alright

now that the show is over it's amazing now that the show is over don't forget to go to naturebox.com and sign up to get your free sampler box of great tasting healthy snacks forget the vending machine and start snacking smarter

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music music music Find me in the morning Find me in the morning So I gotta get up Get up in the morning Find me in the morning

So I gotta get up Get up in the morning Find me in the morning Gotta get up Get up in the morning Find me in the morning Now I gotta Get up in the morning

Get up in the morning Cause I better be Always catches the wire Now I gotta get up Get up in the morning Gotta make a problem Less than I've got Gotta find me in the morning

I won't run from trouble Gotta find me in everything I won't run from bother Gotta get up Get up early in the morning Find me in the other house So I gotta get up Get up early in the morning

Find me in the other house So I gotta get up Get up early in the morning Find me in the other house So I gotta feel it, in the morning, in the morning, in the morning, in the morning Oh, shit, it hurts, I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't know where it was till you come It's a hell of a place, it's only a mile, I ain't even wanna hurt a hand my child Feel it, in the morning, in the morning, fighting, in love without a cure

So I gotta feel it, in the morning, in the morning, in the morning Fighting, in the morning, in the morning, in the morning Feel it, in the morning, in the morning, fighting, in love without a cure So I gotta feel it, in the morning, in the morning You