Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #253 - Steve Simeone, Joey Diaz, Lee Syatt, and Listener Call's

Episode Date: February 3, 2015

Steve Simeone, Comedian and Host of The Good Times Podcast joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio followed by live call's from listeners. This podcast is brought to you by:  Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. Iron Dragon TV. A New Roku channel with all the best martial arts films. Use Code word joey for two free rentals. HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for a 20% discount Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by using code word joeydiaz. Music:  I Dont Care - Phil Collins I Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet Dogs - Pink Floyd SledgeHammer - Peter Gabriel Recorded on 02/02/2015

This show is brought to you by Anna.com That's so evil Go to Anna.com and use covert church to get 10% off of all the great optimization products alpha brain new mood Shooped in commuting shimdax sport. It's called where church to get 10% off See what I have to deal with Go to nailthelife.com for all the oil and wax smokers out there the premier vapor pen on the market the only Vapor pen that church was having now uses. It's go to nailthelife.com use covert joey Diaz to get 20% off Go to hit e-cigs.com

And use covert Joey's church to get 20% off The better tasting longer lasting the proof is in the vape They have e-cigarettes and e-cigars for you a lot of people are using it to quit smoking I know joey likes the cigar. He always has the cigar go to hit e-cigs.com And use covert joey's church to get 20% off and go to iron dragon TV.com Iron dragon TV is a brand new Roku channel with all the best martial arts movies. You'd love it, Steve It's great and and you get two free rentals when you use covert Joey. They have the it man series They have tai chi hero. They had new shit every day every day fucking around. Oh, that's awesome

And they're not just taking old digital stuff. They're taking they have they have two of only like a handful of 4k Film scanners and they're scanning films all day every day like all that's black belt theater shit that I saw when I was a kid Classic the old like the mafia Chinese stuff Cutting people's fingers off all that shit is on there with the guys laughing like that with the moustaches Ah, ah, ah, he throws the fucking safe up and he jumps to the hill and he catches it That's what I'm talking about. What else we got? Oh shit, oh Shit for you motherfuckers living in the past. It's February 2nd. Coxuck is get your shit together

January's done the credit card bills coming there. You are you want to be a fucking big shot and go to the mall and buy Your Aunt Marie some fucking bullshit Now you got to pay for that shit your fucking momos. Here you go kick it Lee I don't care anymore, that's a fucking attitude You're gonna be a fucking savage Tell them all to suck your dick. It's the church. What's happening now the fucking bad motherfucker to the max edition February 2nd stars in deep Steve Simone's here to answer questions

Lee sci-ats here kick that motherfucker Lee. Oh shit Stoned to the fucking gazelles What happened? What do you mean? Put that on loud, please You asked me what's going on. I didn't ask you to put the fucking music on. Kick that motherfucker Kick that fucking goat When you leave the house the morning, this should be the fucking song

playing in your head this and Pink Floyd dogs If you do this every day and drink and eat an apple, you'll be a fucking savage They won't be able to stop you the shit So get out of my way what I'll fucking stab you the neck How i'm feeling tonight. All right, let's see. What are you typing? I'm trying to get something ready for the video. How you guys doing happy fucking february It's whatever was groundhog dad. I don't know if he came out. I don't know if he left

I don't give a fuck to be honest. You've got nothing to do with me Steve Simone, what's cracking lacking? You just got back from Denver Denver breathing the high octane for two weeks Yeah, it was beautiful. You should be running up and down fucking routes I tell you what. Yeah, it was way more difficult to breathe up there. It's easier down there By the third day takes six weeks to get aggravated But then everything changes your blood changes your sleep You sleep deeper. I love you know what i miss about Denver and the mountains aspen You leave your window

Two inches open Oh, shit in the middle of the night that mother fucking desert With mountains drops people used to think I was crazy in boss and I would always leave a window a little open Just a little crack in the window. It's good for you. Anyway, you breathe fresh air when you're fucking sleeping You sleep to like a fucking mama mama You know fucking no wonder you die when you're 80 because you're fucking leave the window open, god son What am I talking about? I have no idea. How was your weekend? You're fucking all right. Yeah You didn't shit when they were losing you wouldn't answer the phone. You didn't call me. No, I was nervous

When it was 24 14 this motherfucker did not answer the phone I was I thought we were gonna lose he wore his shirt with paul or you should have seen I wanted jersey Yeah, I was telling steve. I had I had a jersey. I wore the past three weeks I would take it off after the game and save it. I didn't wash it Was it just the shirt that you see? No, it was a jersey underwear underwear and undershirt. You see what I got a little bit I'm really superstitious I sit in the same spot I wouldn't let paul not this game, but the game against the Colts

No, the the ravens when we were losing really bad I wouldn't like let her get off the bed if we were doing well. I'm like that. It's crazy And then I won a hundred bucks yesterday because of the game I put 25 on the patriots last time I was in vegas. Oh shit. Look at you. So when are you picking up that yardstick? Next time I got a face. How do I get out of that 20? You'll go get your five points at some point five points gambling that's a completely different But you weren't taking action is all yours

When you went action 50% is okay. So when I lose I'm fine You're gonna get it together. I'll fucking flip you for the whole 80% I got that magic coins heads. I win tails. You lose What's going on with you steve some old freshest shit making that happen out there on the road A wonderful road warrior. Yeah, I'm going to canada. What are you going to canada next week? I'm doing a Edmonton by yourself. Yeah, come on. Yep. That's a good fucking club. Yeah, I can't wait to bring pictures of league That's what Ari said. I got yeah, bring everything. I got the merch getting delivered those oil people. They buy cash up there Yeah, that's what it is. That's what Ari said

Lee, what do you think you're talking about? He don't think I know my demographic I don't know. Get together dog. Yeah, I'm getting CDs t-shirts. Willy Wonka golden tickets. They love everything They're good people up there. They're good fucking people. I love canadians. Canadians are savages in their own fucking way They got a little bit more a little less uh cooth than americans americans think who the fuck they are Canadians don't give a fuck you give them three beers and they're good to go. Yeah, they're great. Where does cashers morris live? Yeah Edmonton cashers morris lives with your son only goes like once a week Right, I think he's does a podcast out of Edmonton. You don't a podcast Yeah, I would do cashers fucking morris's podcast. This is what I'm talking about cashers morris a nice fucking kid

Yeah, I wish him well every time I see him. He's doing more. Yeah, he had like a news crew at his house Oh, it's great people. I can't do dick that live here. They grow fucking men and they want to sleep What'd you do? I want to sleep bow with my family. Okay, okay good Now there's spots out and you're fucking watching the soup bowl with your fucking family you fucking dummy You know when I fell asleep During the game you want me to say when I woke up don't tell me right at the end when he made the catch I woke up two minutes before the catch. I looked at the score I was like, oh no, and I saw that had the ball. I'm like, oh, no

I saw the catch the replay. I got coffee I sat there and I told him throw the fucking interception. It was beautiful. I thought for sure. We're gonna lose I don't watch the game. That was the dumbest play I've ever seen not one halftime minute nothing Oh, I didn't want we turn on Netflix during halftime. Yeah, it's another fucking move. We'll go over here That's superstitious. You don't turn out the fucking game Especially when you gamble to watch some other piece of shit fucking show what you want me to watch catty parry flying around No, that's your dick suck. That's your good mama's. I mean kiss that We're in New England show you put the helmet on

The fuck is wrong with you this is like when I call him And we gotta go watch him black This is fucking kidding black. This is a great show. Tell us I was cracking like with those little toes. Let me suck on that Let's burn those fucking tamales off Turn around. Let me give you a little fuck You dick stab that happens after no that's before you're 26 dog. Yeah, that's what you do in the middle You get her over you play with a little titties and you make a fucking suit All right, right there was last time somebody sucked your balls during the game. How better would you have felt today?

Let your balls do it fucking happen. That would be pretty great. Okay, then then what the fuck you think I'm here I'm talking out of line. I love you to death no more blacklist during the hand Hey, you get it close to you swap some spit your finger Make a swallow so the fucking Jerusalem. You know what I'm saying? We got that dick between your legs for this sit there with your fucking jersey on like a mutt that you are That's your next t-shirt He's got a hot chick over there. I would have told the suklah make with the glasses on turn you on Yeah, we have sex. I don't hope so. I hope so, you know

I hope you have fucking sex. It's been two years. You were in San Diego for the weekend. That was fun Drunk and shit. Yeah, but I'm talking about a half time from now on no more blacklist That's what it's you with her. What are you gonna watch the game for you by yourself for? That's what you watch the game with her for. Yeah to give her put it to work at halftime Better over with the new england shirt on give a little stab and smack that ass Put it at work. Yeah, you sure that's it's called put it to work Everybody's sucking here when it's ain't a one-man show you're sucking she's sucking Everybody got sour cream breath from the fucking dip

Oh Mix it with a shot of sperm If I was a young cream brother mix of the shot of sperm if I was the 26 year old handsome guy and I had a girlfriend And I sat there like two momos on the By ourselves because you sat there by yourself What the fuck do you think you do at halftime? You think you watch netflix? No, that's Who gives a fuck that's forget sex you gave her a stabbing you went to make breakfast you're 26 If I was 26 and she sat there at halftime, I'm not watching no netflix. I'm not watching nothing

The only thing I'm watching this clif fucking explode. That's it What is the matter with you every week I gotta talk to you about Thank god you didn't listen to this you're worse than fucking Henry and good fellas. I feel like paulie every fucking week. I gotta talk to these kids. They don't listen Every fucking week I gotta talk to this fucking kid Every week I gotta fuck. What are you doing during halftime sleeping? But I'm 52 my wife. I got a two-year-old running around It's tough to get your dick stuck. We got a two-year-old fucking trolling in your leg But that two-year-old wasn't around yesterday at halftime. I probably give mama's a weekly stab

weekly stab the fuck But halftime when you're 26 you get your balls left all deep deep in nut sack juice And then after when you watch them eat the nachos and you just giggle Like I don't care how many nachos you eat. You're never gonna get that taste of dick out of your mouth What kind of gum works best for sour cream bread mixes be sperm that's what try that sperm Yeah, we sell that certain pharmacies Jesus christly every fucking week I gotta talk to you about something see the subway sandwich

This fucking kid. What do you do all day? What don't you fantasize about pulling the hair? Yeah So we do it. Yeah, you do it halftime. You go come here. Let me fucking give you a stab Don't tell you halftime is not long enough Oh It's only 20 minutes. That's all you need to get your dick sucked And to go underneath and eat her ass Can you imagine how good the soup bowl would have been if you were the 69 during halftime

Right on the fucking floor. That'd be fun with your jersey on she would have been blowing you You would have been eating that ass from behind and sticking sniffing that asshole Who's better than you on the soup bowl sunday 69 and are you fucking kidding me? Are you fine? I never had a girlfriend on the fucking soup bowl But if I didn't I was sitting in that fucking house alone with a I wouldn't be watching no fucking blacklist and no magician I'd be 69 and deep They're gonna work off that french onion dip. What are you fucking nuts? French onion dip sour cream

Fuck yeah, they're either half of the fucking french onion dip more old school And you dip it's so good. Yeah hot dogs are bacon on them. Forget about it. Oh, they're so good Oh that bacon on your breath to eat that ass But okay, I I shouldn't tell you this because it's probably gonna take an hour of the podcast Well, first of all, let me tell you here we go. Here we go. Felipe had vegan ceviche and polo crazy I went off on them too. I called them direct I called them but I called them and threw it inside. Okay. I said, Lee. How you doing here? Uh, what's up fool? I said, how's that ceviche made of coconut? Oh, it's good fool

Like I'm not even fucking telling me that I go. What is this fucking charade gonna end? What is this shit gonna end with you eating fucking ceviche made from coconut fucking milk? Well, my heart blows I bring that up So maybe it'll be less on me since we're watching our weight. We had turkey hot dogs Dogs are up with turkey bacon. It's actually really good, but I know you're gonna hate it Turkey hot dog with turkey sausage turkey bacon, you just ruined my whole super bowl like Like when I party on the super bowl, I fucking party I'm sure like I even called one of my friends like the last super bowl that I had a good time

Was when Denver beat Green Bay 98 99 oh the 12 Davis years. Yeah, that was a fucking great super. Reggie White was still alive Hollywood mitch headberg Oh, wow. Yeah, uh, stan ho josh wolf Ralphie cooked. It was like three houses were going. I think Jeff Ross came by to see Ralphie Wow, you know, that was the last time I sat really giggled and there was freaks You know people would do a blow and shit. It was tremendous number for that It was like 84 Where I was excited like I went to the fucking corkies and got like a fucking quailu an eight ball and by fucking half time

We're off on rocker fucking turkey sausages I'm disgusted. They were good Oh my god, I live in fucking hell here A fucking jew eating turkeys hot dogs with turkey fucking bacon on it. Yeah the other day. I was at that place That uh, demingos. No, I was at the club and the kid goes. What do you want to eat? When you're at a comedy club, you know, you don't have that many fucking options Although columbus is a great club

And the menu the chicken is not bad. They had a couple for that mistake sandwich. I didn't you know that stuff I ate salads and stuff But the one night two shows in between shows you get fucking hungry, you know So the kid goes dog, I split a burger where he's a skinny kid. I go, let's split a burger So me and him walked up to the chef. We're like, hey dog, we'll take that burger now The guy's like, what do you want? I go, what do you want on there? He goes, I just like lettuce tomato and cheese. I go, fuck it. That's a couple made in heaven I go, do me a favor put onions on my on my side. He goes, no

He goes, you don't want onions. No, I just put onions on my side after the fact After you cut the hamburger in half Give me the raw onions. I'll put them on there put some fucking ketchup on it Guy goes, what do you want on that guy? I just fucking told you, right? He goes, you don't want no bacon on it or not. I go, no, well, guess what? This motherfucker put bacon on my cheeseburger I looked at that bacon And it looked like my big toe the fungi toe

Like the bacon they use and to put on any of that food 70% of it sucks. It's it's not the right kind That's why I fucking hate bacon on cheeseburg cheeseburgers and cheeseburg. I'm right there That's it. I don't get the fucking bacon on it. I just it's like, uh I don't even know it's like you fucking like eggs on burgers It's like somebody shoving their head up your asshole when you you already came. What are you bothering me for? Yeah, it's over. I already cracked another it's half time. I was 69 it was my new english Fucking blacklist. You said I gotta go through with you. Have you seen that show? Oh, yeah, yeah

But it's not worth half time instead of me and mama being there by ourselves That's true And you're not gonna see her all week. There's what I'm saying. I'll see you Thursday But that's four days. So that's why you gotta give her three stabbings in one day When you're 26, I could shoot nine loads in one day. Yeah a couple push-ups on back It'd only be a minute a fucking shot, you know, I only last a minute But at least I'm giving you a stab and I'm meeting your ass. I'm improvising. It's a good minute Yeah, because sometimes if you're just 69, you don't need to crack a nut

He's there to eat the monkey. You know, they're fucking cracking up. It's about her. You're eating the monkey. It's upside down It's exciting. You're sniffing the muffler That's it. That's what you want to talk about. It's sniffing the muffler do for her because it's the it's the super bowl That's what you gotta lick it. Well, lick it too. But you gotta put some of the french onion dip right in there No, no, that's disgusting You never do that anyway. Yeah, but why wouldn't you because that's disgusting french? I don't eat french onion dip by itself Why would I ruin an asshole any months out cream? Why would I ruin the flavor of an asshole with that fucking french onion? Shit that you fucking gentiles put on your shirt

Anyway, what are you getting me all fucking fired up? No cheddar cheese on the asshole. Fuck. No, you filthy fuck Anyway, cheddar cheese had a great time in columbus one of the top fucking clubs in the country Great audiences, but one of the best parts of the week and we're going on jeremy and lope on the radio station. They're great But this fucking cat I've been talking to on twitter this patch a fucking just Listen last monday I went on twitter and I went on the podcast and I got pissed off Because some guy was messing with me on fucking whatever gmail. Okay. It's like so weird how you have one asshole Ruins it for everybody, but then you have 20 20,000 people like talking there and leon and fucking jason No, that's why you meet these people

And you know like this completes my fucking journey. Yeah, I don't want nothing They just want to talk to you and patch shape was one of those guys that I felt I didn't have enough time with Like there was always people around he came all fucking three nights Which broke my heart just by one fucking ticket. Yeah, you know and come your family, you know, yeah But uh, you know who else is cool who who we who you you might have it met Yeah, but new rolling smokehouse He has an instagram where he takes pictures of all the food he's cooking. I was looking at it today It looks unbelievable tremendous those people and they're having a festival. They're not invited us

So we're gonna make our own festival on that new et data. That's what I think I'm gonna do I knew it what you did before I did before just take eight of us down there four five us take a big bag of reef And let's go deep into the fucking bayou of debt Into new allings and have a little festival. It's a hundred ninety nine seats That'd be great shows in one fucking night 20 minutes a piece and get the fuck out of there That's how you do it me you somebody. I would love that get three cheap hotel rooms off the fucking beaten fans You know people playing the trombone outside Jumping up and fucking down the trombone. Yeah, no when I went down there shoot grudge match. I liked it

I thought it was pretty neat down. I just don't want to be in the mix of things Yeah, it's chaos being off the beaten path a little bit especially there It's a little too much. I mean, I think I'm a little too long in the fucking especially in hotel rooms Like we're we we made the mistake of getting a hotel room in downtown San Diego What don't never do again because they pay they charge 40 bucks for parking a night And we didn't really do anything in downtown So and I just I should have booked a hotel room, but she went to school there So I chose it but it was way too loud. There were drunk people all night

I'm gonna fucking stab this kid before the years over I guarantee one of those rings you got on You got like a super bowl run on yourself. I got no super bowl running up the indian. I got my wedding bag What's the indian? I've never seen that before. Yes, you damn I wear this fucking. This is my main fucking man ready. Oh, shit. This is the motherfucking indian What the fuck you think you're dealing with? You've never seen the indian? He's in the longest yard. He's in grudge match Oh, really? Yeah, I try to sneak him and everything. That's great. I go to the direct. Oh, that's beautiful. All right. Let's do this shit Fuck you think you're dealing with here. Oh my god So can you tell me can you tell them about what you you call me every time you have a connecting flight?

And tell me the menu you had for the edibles at like 3 a.m. Be like, all right, dog I woke up. I threw a star in. Oh fuck. I was Fucked up. I sat next to Who I sit next to on the way. I had Sebastian behind me. No way and John legend Wait next to me That's fantastic. And I here's what happened. I got on the line and I saw them I saw John legend

Delta airline Two guys big guys with a big black eye and a little black eye I just couldn't tell who it was. I didn't really give it that much attention. Right. I just looked when I walked in the plane I put my thing up and I saw the big black guy sitting three rows behind He had a window seat when I looked down. I'm like, holy shit. It's John fucking legend So I put my luggage up and I just sat down. You know how many words I said don't talk the whole flight Zero not one fucking word. Not even a zero. I didn't even knowledge the motherfucker I sat there. I watched the drop. I watched some other shit that was on tv delta the direct flight to Atlanta

One of the best flights I've ever taken. Yeah, you you just sit there like a king Like a fucking king the camera. I love the fucking camera behind the seat What's that? Oh the screen. Oh the screen pick and choose whatever you want and all those that virgin does it It's that makes a big difference guys night and day. That's a night. You're right Jet blue with the fucking direct tv, but united chargers. What's pissing me off united? What charges for tv at least in back they do united fucking Is I don't know last two flights of two united did not have a wi-fi fuckers Right. I don't care. I don't care about your fucking movie

But let me get on the computer for five minutes and do what I gotta do myself. Yeah At least I could write a paragraph or something, you know, they didn't have fucking wi-fi guys Yeah, you know I sit there stoned to the gills anyway, you know me. I got the basis copy Yeah, so tell them what you take it three in the morning four in the morning I take a fucking star on the chiba chew and I get on I don't take the 210 mil. Oh my gosh But I don't take the cheat. I take the star with my protein shake and the blood pressure Then I drive to fucking lax. I get the lax. I park the car

I walk in I check I got everything and when I'm putting my stuff to do security I put the I take the chiba chew wrapper Off the little chiba chew and I throw the Chiba chew the security of the bucket Because I don't want to eat it right then I want to eat it So you just put a piece of candy in the bucket and nobody even thinks about it And if they do that was in there, what are you looking at? It doesn't really smell like weed But just for reference, Steve, I took maybe 40 probably close to like 38 something tonight

He took five times that I had before six in the morning. Well, they told me endeavor 10 milligrams in a bowl Yeah, that that'll be nice, but you never know they do tell me 10 milligrams of Joey 10 I did at least 40 because it's 25 and then he gave me half of the aloe And then we smoked a joint People keep asking for a slurry league so they're gonna get it. I don't care any more. Wow. He's fucked up. I love it It's a beautiful monday Someone just said I love how Joey gets just as uncomfortable talking about turkey bacon as Steve does about blowjobs I'll play as a hate fucking turkey bacon. I'm standing online before I know paula. So I was just like, uh

I'm standing online before we're too far. I know paula too. I love paula is that but it don't matter because I know what Fucking Harvey Hommel's doing. I know he's sitting there playing a board game or fucking playing a board game I know this fucking guy. We played Monopoly the other night. Yeah I'm dealing with fucking the Harvey fucking whips of steam at least I won What you went What the fuck did you win? What did you win at the end of three hours? What the fuck did you win the big hotel? Yeah, 26 years old She's mexican put that ass to work. They like that shit mexican people

They used to it all these guys go over there those mexican bang bang why because they're savages Those women will fucking go for hours. You don't need to go to the political You're wasting your time Friday Sunday Sunday. You just break those curtains black You're the one that wants to be Harvey fine steam and say, oh, that's gonna say in the angle downtown Then you realize it's 40 a fucking night to park. Hey fucking around down there. What were you thinking? You don't know the state cars bad at the drive downtown Even a fucking four-year-old knows that shit Lee A professional next time ask one of us go. I gotta take this

Don't ask her. She's gonna tell you yeah Go on Expedia. Yeah. What the fuck do they know? What does she know about traveling? He knows He's he's the mayor of fucking San Diego You should have gone to him and got a fucking little place in La Jolla off the beaten path for 60 bucks You're just going to the fuck anyway, right or wrong. What are you going to these rooms to do? Yeah, you're gonna the fuck anyway. Everything in San Diego is a distance. You're not gonna walk around nobody wants to be downtown Nobody. Yeah, nobody wants to be downtown. You can find one of those places in La Jolla With no air conditioning for 65 a night. Yeah, all season like yeah all season that you parking free that you cuddle

Next to that fucking what's the plan? Nobody remembers Rosarito. What's the fucking place next to the denny's on uh pj Ramiro's there ain't no better mexican food down there than that I know your friend has the tacos, but they're white people tacos. I'm talking mexican fucking food mexican food There ain't no better than fucking ramiro's ramiro dirt tacos in the middle of the night Tell this fucking mo mo, but he don't understand he got sucked in Because expedient she wanted to go. Who gives a fuck what she was the best thing about it. We need yeah You don't have to do this car. You drink for fucking free. You don't need to move the car. That's it. You're done for the whole weekend

You don't ever go to san diego for fucking nothing that hilton downtown. I took a pot cookie 200 of the fucking night. I didn't pay for the club paper. I took a pot cookie and a baggie Do you know I woke up in the morning a fucking rat? I didn't have the fucking pot cookie through the baggie Don't have a fucking stay downtown, but you don't ask You don't ask you're like a sucker You want to go The fuck is wrong with you You got a fucking little hoi right there off the beaten path. I stayed there with terry a thousand times

And everywhere else is like 200. They wanted 65 no air conditioner. You cracked that window But that's the best piece of cold pussy you ever gotten in your life You go to that fucking ramiro's but you know how much you eat for 20 bucks in ramiro's three bags Three bags. Tell fucking momo. You get the best carnitas in fucking san diego and a fucking bean and cheese burrito We're a little pico the guy on that motherfucker. That's what that's what you're eating Well, the the yelp said I don't give a fuck what the fucking yelp said I'm telling you what the master's a disaster said your mexican is what the fuck you're eating and that's it

Ramiro's best fucking thing next to denny's right next to pb. But whatever Yeah, we grew up there mission varnette right how many fucking sessions you do that's how I met adam hunter I met a thousand people doing comedy down there and that's the rule when you walk out of that nobody goes to fucking denny's You go straight to fucking ramiro's when you let the comedy story tonight. You went right to ramiro's I got the same shit every time carnitas the best rice the best beans the carnitas were brown You never got sick, but we'll put you over the fucking top was that bean and cheese burrito. Jesus fucking christ davis chevitz first time I got a bean and cheese burrito was right there only fucking time That's what excites me about going to san diego when they were calling me that room paid 200 bucks

I dropped 20 I used to buy This is how fat I was I used to get the carnitas and three bean and cheese burritos And to mercy's fucking I swear to mercy by the time I got to Irvine God, how big of a fucking bean and cheese burritos down there, bro? You would eat it driving like that It's there's no driving Lee

They do have a drive in there, but it's not like McDonald's No, no, no, I said you eat a driving back to LA a humongous. It's not like a taco burrito. It's a no It's a real burrito Football for I would eat the carnitas parked that you don't drive You gotta put them in the taco with the people a guy in the sour cream and the fucking guacamole You have no fucking ideally best Mexican food Best Mexican sure ordered that Italian food from fucking best Mexican food. I've ever fucking had there here Is there any Mexican food like that in the valley?

There's a couple decent places, but I'm great. No, right? Listen when you go to Mexico nobody puts french fries on carnitas and vice versa So that's not Mexican food. That's something fucking some guy named Lee It's a fucking dick wits and dick wits and you like that shit. That's not Mexican food I'm talking about you know where the second best place I had Mexican food. Yeah long beach Oh Gabriel took me a spot long beach. It was a little bad to the bone. I'm telling you that's where you go when you go These are some real fucking Mexicans in that kitchen. This fucking guy's never had a shrimp Mexican shrimp cocktail Which I never heard about it. You're fucking head. Well, but I I mean you got crepes. You know how to make fucking crepes. You fuck

And macaroons, but you never heard of it. No You know, I think got a good shrimp cocktail Casa vega, I was just thinking that cost of a I guarantee cost of Vegas like the whitest Mexican place here They might have a nice fucking shrimp cocktail Mexican shrimp cocktail is a million of those little shrimp cocktails that you get aids for me Came in the jar They'll give you five big ones Lee Fill with avocado and onions mixing this thing. So when you pick up the fucking shrimp, it's got the avocado on that

Is it cocktail sauce still or no? It's way beyond cocktail sauce. That's the fucking averages. Oh, wow. And me. I don't drink. I'm a pussy But if I was a young guy, I would only have that with a fucking corona to And tell him to spice that motherfucker like if I was dirty like I like my calamar and rooties with hot sauce The medium the medium burns people the hot sauce takes you to a different level But with a heineken on tap in the old days when I knew there was a half gram of the car Stop Stop you pop that fucking two bumps a blow. You take a tremendous shit. You're

Next time I find that you're not 69 and during halftime. We're gonna have a problem The next season you do with that every game like you start that game with paula. Come on over. What are we gonna do? Come here? That fucking muffler Well, you know depends where you're sucking on if you lick the ass or you make complete different noise your machine You give that little lick. You don't want to drive it crazy The machine got in it I We really need to have like a

Sex boy like you need to overtake over love one Give her the dog. Oh my god the ratings because We're just having a good time here people. What's the mother that was tony benicogs Oh, shit. I forgot about you're slipping and shit. What the fuck we saw yet. Are you gonna go see him and lady gaga? Yeah, yeah, I'm getting tickets tomorrow morning. Can't you see me all fucking excited? You say I deal with I want to be around. Oh shit to pick up the pieces

When somebody breaks your heart Sun somebody twice as smart. So he's gonna have a stone. Hell no. Let's get the other half of that motherfucker I Did uber here because of this I'll give you a ride home. No, it's okay. Yes, I got the uber here I think that was responsibly He's always responsible. He's one of the best fucking people. I know you don't need the uber So what you got a couple fucking stars in you drive by sound. Yeah, you just get in the car and do what you do You always get yourself home

You even got hit by a cop car. Who gets hit by a fucking cop? And he's trying to get away from the scene like sugar night We got high as fuck this morning. We didn't even get that high. No, no, we took It was a fugey edible. He gave me a A jolly ranch edible that was just not that great and the sound went down If you went if you look we did we did a one like a Wednesday podcast The sound went down when I had to go home and get a piece of equipment on the way back a cop's mirror hit my car And I was like, fuck. We were out of light. That's the worst luck imaginable. I was highest

What I'm not I wasn't this high. I was pretty high Coming back and I was like, I was just okay through the window, but they said no pull over into the uh that mini mart over on on more part I'm okay officer. I'm good. And we got out of the car on there when they looked and like it bent their mirror back They're like, okay. I was like, I'm fine. That's good. We're good Like looking back on it. I should have got like a get out of jail free card from it or I would have left for them to side swipe the car I would have taken off and just plowed into

Open up the seat but I just fell on the street I started fucking shivering like like I had I'd sue them mother fuckers. They got nowhere to go If a cop car hits you they got nowhere to go, especially like if they run a light or something you just drop out I start talking about fucking Beirut 69 How you were gonna hang them high you weren't extra in the fucking warriors The warriors That's an extra on the wall. I was right there 140 a street out of life through my neck What's going on? At least I uh

Everything all right, my brother everything's good. What do you got planned for this weekend this weekend? What do you got planned for valentine's weekend? I want to hear this fucking disaster. Oh, you know the story We're doing uh our three fat foods. We've been able to do since june in and out, uh, Buffalo wild wings and uh, bazookies They're buffalo wings that you eat a piece just like six because we're gonna six a piece Well, no, we're gonna share six I think well because what we're gonna do is go to the movies and split up in and out and buffle wild wings But there's nothing out

At most in two weeks, maybe american sniper, but that'll that'll be in valentine's day saturday. What saturday? Dignite. All right. Dignite's happening. Don't you don't worry american sniper valentine's day. You know who it is Lee sci-an stick Using protection. No, she's on the pill. Yeah, all right. You're gonna be fucking getting that mexican bird fragrance No, that's gonna be terrible. That fucking juice. You got a good sperm. You're on this treadmill. I'm sure I do Sure, you're eating good. You're drinking water That little juice sperm is ready to fucking branch out. You're done Oh, that'd be so bad. You imagine that in the whole family of women. You got a grandma

Oh, the mother would move in the father make a comeback the uncle be back and you'll be over there working 10 fucking podcasts You'd be podcast too You just be sitting at the that's it. You just see it. Look at you go to fucking you stream. You just see me Exhausted But I wouldn't mind the mom over there. She makes amazing food. Oh, all right, please wait till she moves in She talks to you every day. You'll be begging to get out that fucking house and smoking though Begging to get the magical mystery tour you move that fucking lady Rod in the angel field is easy money. You fuck with me. I move her and your mama

My mom would kill me if her mom moved in with us and then I'll get pops up here too. I hit the lump I'm gonna get pops right next door to you I don't they bring them a fucking package every three days to get that mother fucking going Naga on your door talking about fucking Boston the glory days We used to smoke cigarettes with Dave Collins Oh I love this fucking savage. It's the best Oh my god, please say that's as tough as nails. You're not the man underestimates myself

Lee, we're gonna go eat it at a bar. I don't know talking a witch you know guys I had such a bad life for a while I know the difference when having a bad life and having a good life To have a good life not financially. I'm talking for your life. Just to be normal. You have to work out Yeah, you're really really really You know

The other day was up when I was getting to my car when I came back from Columbus for a long time I had this Cuban kid who was driving me I met him in uber me and lee met him one day. We're doing Doug does movies or one of those Doug sent an uber for you because you're gonna get high and I met the kid He seemed like a nice kid. He was Cuban and he goes, you know, I give rides to the airport Whatever the fuck he said he was for uber. I gave him 20 over Yeah, it was fucking way more than what I would pay. He's a Cuban kid and I want to help him I'm gonna hit a bonus and fucking whatever town I go to. I'll take that apply to that

Hey, he's hustling. He's doing the right thing. Everybody makes money. That's it spread it around money. You have to spread money Well, the kid, you know, every fucking trip. He was always late to pick me up or you know, always an excuse me Wait, I just said for I enjoyed driving myself It's my last 35 minutes in town and yeah And I you know what if I got to be at the airport at five I get there for 30, you know, why? Because I know I'm by the elevator Yep And the other day when I got out of the car Lee, I crossed the street my car was right there on the third floor big there was my car I put my two-piece luggage and I started up. I pissed on the wall and I always

I always pee but at the end of that thing I don't know what it is I gotta pee and I'm not going back to the bathroom with fucking luggage for you And I get in the car and I go how easy is this? but it's not easy because I got to the airport at five to five like the old days my flight would leave at six and for some reason Lee I thought I could get there at 10 to six and they let me on the fucking plane And I kept doing this Lee. I kept doing it. It was the worst happening in the world, but it all went back to you know

Having a job finally and Lisa. Yeah, let me sleep on this couch And then finally after six weeks, I would get an eight ball of coke Blow off my job and Lee would find me doing coke Lee would throw me out and I'd be mad at Lee fucking Lee sucks, but it was the same routine But to one day you say this is how I'm gonna live my fucking life And this is how I live my life when I want those trips, bro. I hate drama Let me tell you something the last two weeks. I escaped major fucking storms. Lee knows I was in Buffalo last Sunday

Shot to Newark that was my connecting flight as I was leaving Newark Santa Claus was dropping fucking dope Again last week in Columbus as I was walking off the stage They were getting snow already when I woke up they had three inches of snow Jack But that's the Columbus airport. They that's what they do Yeah, they said they all snows gonna come they said they were machine guns They don't they shoot the fucking snow out of the airport. They do something as I was taking off It was fucking a blizzard Lee You know, but why does that happen because I get up the fucking extra two hours

Yep, and I get to the fucking airport because it's a professional. I know that the first flight. That's it now There's no no, no, I don't care It doesn't work. I'm telling you get the fuck out always get out. That's what I do The other day though, I seen them lock up the airport In Chicago. Oh, I missed it by five minutes I missed it by five minutes. Wow. They shot a wing off By five minutes because when I jump off a plane, I got a connecting plane I eat next to the connecting plane

I go to the connecting plane see what the line is that if the line's cool I jump on that motherfucker maneuver position because I got to get on that plane first My shit's got to be on my bed. Oh, we're gonna have a fucking problem We're gonna have a fucking problem, but it's amazing when you work on your life How much easier it gets absolutely how it's not fucking scramble the shortcuts make everything worse Your friend and this and that I'm gonna do this was better to pay for it. Yeah, you go. No, no, no Don't do many favors. Who's the best guy? That's a fair done. It really is amazing. So when you Live it, you see it. Yeah for the last fucking three years

for five years I've been telling people Because they know who it is because we all have those people in our lives We all have a personal lives. I have a friend here But every time I talk to him, it's how bad life is But I told him four years ago to start a podcast But every time he calls me, which is once every 10 days is how he's struggling How bad life is they don't know how funny he is

He you know, it's just a fucking beat-up game And I sit there and I take it because he's a sweet guy But the fuse is getting the fuse is ready to go. Hey Listen, bro. I told you 10 years ago to do this Eight years ago to do this and you sit there and you fucking make fun of me like, oh, I can't believe you don't a podcast you know and I don't even know what my fucking train of thought is my my nose is getting fucking congested so I get anxiety So I start thinking I can't fucking breathe. It's oh, Jesus. I think I'm living with you got st. Jude right there

You got nothing to worry about. No, I fucking know that so I've been telling people for years about sug knight Sug knight did something That was like a disrespect to an art. Do you want to go eat like a tissue? No, I don't want you to do that. I want you to sit there and just relax with your uncle Joey I got tissues. I got a shirt on as long as you got fucking the shirt on you can blow your fucking nose I'm not gonna excuse myself make my fucking buddy. Go get me a tissue. Who the fucking think I am. I'm your buddy But it's amazing sug knight

Like I'm being at the store years ago and sug knight being on the balcony And me just getting in my car and leaving. Fuck my spot. Fuck the 15 dollars. Fuck the check I just left when I when Henry Hill was at the comedy store 15 years ago and dice and everybody I was out there jumping up and down No matter what was going on. I got my car and I got the fuck out of the void the problem because there's certain people That they bring this fucking debt with them And you feel it on some people you feel it you felt it on somebody at the store monday night last week You felt you fucking want to get the fuck out of there and I was like, oh my god

The leader feel that way. How creepy was the guy? Yeah when you feel it you fucking, you know Last time I was at the store. I felt it and then I found out there was a fight in the main room after I left Who fought that yeah, yeah the black comedy night. Yeah, it was that tuesday night. What happened? I don't know speedy I don't know none of my business. I just felt no and I had nothing to do with that I'd not it was in the air it was in the air and I went what am I doing on the sunset strip? I'm 41 years old I go I'm gonna go home make a sandwich and go to sleep peanut butter jelly

I don't remember what it was peanut butter jelly on whole grain when you hide the glass of fucking milk Ice cold milk And you shake it up says like a milkshake when you're drinking it at first people don't know how important it is to shake up the Fucking gallon shake it up Get the milk bubbles, but when I was a kid I had a friend that would shake it up and then put sugar in it and shake it up again Oh, oh my god. He was on sugar milk And he put he put a little ice cubes, but shattered ice Oh like the chair like do you kind of get it? Yeah

I don't like milk. I don't like milk. He was a bartender Yeah, he was like He was like fucking 10. He had the that's when the kid was on the gallon They don't put the kid on the gallon no more the old fucking things people don't drink milk anymore No, they don't drink milk like that no more. So on the old days They had the thing and he put like three scoops and people that go over the best thing I ever had Growing up was at the bend this house. These motherfuckers would cut strawberries They put milk over a little bit of sugar and then seal it and put in the refrigerator overnight

The next morning comes out like strawberries and strawberry milk good Googly moogly when you're fucking stoned You have no fuck I've never even heard of doing something that's old italian type shit They would do that stuff get the I don't know what it's called. I don't know nothing But they have a thousand fucking things like that that aren't bad for you You know if you eat two fucking strawberries some milk and some milk it's like eating fucking Captain crunch right Same fucking difference no chemicals. Uh sugar cornflakes. Yeah

I'll go with fucking cornflakes. Yeah, I like the rice crispy cornflakes with the sugar with the Rice crispy tree with those listening to them pop People don't keep this remember people used to have a sugar bowl you go over somebody's kitchen There was always sugar there people scared scoop it out Important your cereal should even if you had cornflakes you could dope them up with some sugar Oh, the greatest you could always dope up cornflakes. I fucking hate it cornflakes But then I figured out wait a second give me the fucking sugar. I'll get my own frosted flakes Hell yeah, the best was counter chocolate. I liked anything that the milk turned chocolate

Sometimes the milk turned chocolate tastes it like ass. I think counter chocolate tastes it like ass But the other one was good the chocolate rice crispies. Yep. Oh Cocoa pebbles cocoa pebbles cocoa pops cocoa pebbles was the shit the friend flintstone with cocoa pebbles Yes, it was especially when they made it with sugar before and then they switched it over to corn syrup It was never the same it was never the same all good old school cocoa pebbles the shit the milk would get yummy for your tummy I could eat a box of that shit when I was 15. I'm a cinnamon touch cruncher fruit loops guy That's those are my two favorites. You munch them together. You're pumping. No, I never did that All right, what else Lisa? Yeah, what else you got for me?

That's about it, man. What else you gonna tell me to fucking aggravate the shit out of me? I just came down from the turkey fucking hot dogs in the turkey. Uh, It's pretty good baloney. You know the fuck you you love turkey. Yeah, you really like it deep down the side It's easier to have right now. Did you take in the subway? No this week? No, that's true They told me jersey might so we're not doing no more same people were tweeting or saying You're you're um jersey might girl now or somebody she asked me. I was like, what does that mean? I said we can't go to subway anymore because joey said

Not joey life said life dictates itself You're the best you want the best in you, right? You want nice turkey? You want nice pastrami nice along how's the sandwich yet like Ralph's I'd like the deli cat because I was at the deli counter the other day And I saw them doing the same thing the mix does the truth. Yeah tremendous. Yeah It's not tremendous. Yeah Because they do you told me that years ago years ago. They do the same thing that just makes us tremendous rouse has The cheapest sandwich they used to you could get a fucking sandwich at round for four dollars

That you could eat half of it and put the other rock and roll rouse And you're talking to a fat motherfucker 10 15 years ago It was great. I was the one that went there and used to say do you guys make sandwiches? We'll make you a sandwich they didn't know They didn't know they charge you for a bun and a quarter pound of meat They had no idea So I go in there and get the seeded fucking rolls and make them make a ham a thumin's ham and swiss with mayonnaise And a slice of tomato on that motherfucker stop Lee. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about

You chopped that motherfucker in half with some potato chips And a coke in a bottle not a 16 ounce that's for pussies You're gonna go deep with a 32 ounce of shit Throw like four ounces away at the end to make you feel good about yourself Give him by a big big big coke. You don't drink the whole thing You throw away the mouthwash. Like you're like, I'm doing all right I won't get diabetes. I threw away two ounces. You know what I'm saying? Those are the diabetes portion control

Hey, buddy, what's up my man? How's my main man doing? I'm good. You ready for another star and that just to take us to the next fucking dimension. I'm at the next dimension I want you to put on fucking dogs For your joy. No, that's a hero's man. It's a big boy. I'll be full. It's all right Who's beeping outside? Yeah, it sounds the fuck you got people coming over here At least I act like the church what's happening now. We should speed it up. I want to hear some good parts. How far? Give me about a minute now Speed it up, please

minutes I'm gonna take it Back up That's it. It's over turn these fucking lights up Fuck it. Don't do that Here we go low Pink Floyd for your shit I ain't fucking around here on the church. You don't know. Put them in the concert. You're gonna go black and white. It was

I think I'm gonna see you Yeah, here we go Take this motherfucker deep if you're not doing bong hits rip that fucking bong out right now You fucking pussies. It's fucking Monday night Nine o'clock at late 12 o'clock midnight at your rages. I was fucking eat nasty doing criminals Listen to this shit in the winter Make it believe I had somewhere to go the next day The fuck are you getting crack that motherfucker?

It's over What is this fucking nuts Oh Now we're gonna take you deep. This is David Gilmore I think this is the first one of the fucking four the second one metal dogs animals Dark side of the moon and wish you were here. I don't know the fucking order

Listen to David Gilmore how he takes you Listen to the dogs coming. Let's say you want to hit an acid Right now you thought dogs were in your fucking living room over to get you Are you fucking kidding me? How genius is this? You hear that wolf it's over now the dog is disappearing now you got to do what you fucking do You're gonna have to get a knife a gun Well, this is a Dave Gilmore's guitar. You can hear his fucking soul in this solo Oh shit Lee

Oh It's a birthday night here About texting Steve Simone got sucked up. I'll step on that fucking phone. Don't wait for it. You know what time it is Oh shit Oh shit This is a heartbeat. Yeah that heartbeat me I'm gonna win some sort of camera work award for this This is for the heartbeat Lee

Don't stop This is the Gilmore taking it. Oh shit. Oh shit How you fuck You find heroin I'd shoot it right now And here it is after he just drops it right here You Put the fucking light on Put the light on lisa. That's too much. That's too much

What what number they call me Give the number lisa we're taking some fucking calls here you savages What's the phone number they call this calling right now me The flying jew Steve Simone can do a couple calls here. It's a monday night. What else are you gonna fucking do? What are you gonna do? What's working? Mindy, whatever? Mindy, we got some reruns going. No, what's the fucking thing? Mindy the mic and molly mic and molly mindy project I don't fucking know nobody All right, if you want to call in it's 818 570 5494

570 5494 818 574 52 54 What is it me? What why you sitting there like a mook on the fucking put the number? I did I did put it up. What's the number? It's 818 570 5494. It's was logged into the long sky. Anyway Fucking should night man. It's just uh run it over fucking. Yeah, what happened was somebody attacking him or something

I don't there's a thousand stories Some little black gate kid was saying oh, no, I see you should run him over pull the fucking car and run him over again He ran over two people One died and one survived. All right, so now we should be good. All right. There's lisa. Yeah, you're annoying. Here we go. You want to take one? Yeah, let's do it What's up my brother? Yo yo What's up you bad motherfuckers. I love you cocksuckers

I love you motherfucker. It's the wolf. What's up? We where you calling from? He's gone from Englewood Englewood. Oh, yeah Well, you can just fucking know good. You know that. Why are you calling? Well, you can just walk up here cocksuck everything. All right No, I love it. You just woke me up with the fucking pink boy. Don't like oh, shit. Let me like this Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's time to fucking do a bonkers. I don't give a fuck what time it is get up Fuck Yeah It's all over let me use the bathroom. Let me borrow a spoon a left over on a little

What's going on primo? What's going on in your world? Talk to me, papa. All right. All right. Just getting it together this year You know, uh, you guys really inspired me. Uh, was that around that new year? You know christmas those two shows really touched me So I've been out and about getting around, uh, you know getting out that safety zone I was uh talking to you about it a little bit, but yeah, man ever since then a lot of things have been working good You know, it's funny. I went to a concert the other day I didn't have one dollar in my pocket and I ended up with 80 bucks just for going out So, I mean I owe it to you you guys for just like getting me out there

You know, uh, I don't live too far from hollywood, but you know, I think that happens on the couch I had it, you know, a lake and be I fucking hate you brother, but that's the only thing that happens on that couch. You get quarters in the cushions You're not looking for quarters. I'm looking for fucking dollars. You know what I'm saying? So you can sling that's right. So you can stack chips like he brews like Bad mother I wish you'd like you see him down there. Then what happened? What actually I was driving by when that happened. I was over there at camp burger super close to where I'm at

I'm like two blocks away from that shit So I saw him fucking swerve the fuck out of there. He backed up Round him over backed up. He did it again Motherfucker on one or something, but I saw that he turned himself in too on TMZ or some shit Yeah, he's out already, right? No, he well, he might be out But he's already on trial for like 30 years for stealing that That's like camera water automatically. Well, no, not even that but the camera one with cat williams What he's already on trouble evoked his fucking bail

They might he might still be in there then He probably did have that that bond because he had about like three million or something like that or something I read somewhere on there and he like had three million. So he probably got that bail money That's fucking crazy that what did he I was driving right by there. It was like those plants and it was like in gardena. They were filming the nwa movie So the bail was pulled. Yeah, it was pulled. Yeah. So post it. So he's out No, it was revoked. It was revoked 2.2 million dollars, but it was revoked. No shit. So he's in jail. Yeah Wow

For murder and the fucking cocker in and and fucking a kodashi in the Fucking robert kodashi and it's dead. Who in the fuck kind of represent this guy. Let me ask you this What are the two-part thing go down 97 with two-part died 98 96 Jesus Christ 96 in vegas 17 years later, whatever the fuck it is, right? It was uh, it was 97 that they did biggie and over here over at rampart. I was at the comedy store biggie got shot Wow, I remember. Oh shit. Yeah. I was at the comedy store

Which is really I bet it was bet it was a crazy night. I always drive past that Peterson museum. I always find myself driving past that fucking Peterson museum. So It's very fucking interesting. Well, I love you cocksucker for calling All right, brother. Don't forget. Hey bro. Listen watching me. I love you too, man Thank you for doing what you're doing, man from the bottom of my heart I like that you're just getting up and getting out of there nothing happens at the house. Yeah. Yeah Fuck the house. No, exactly. You know, we you got it, man And I want I want all the all the other listeners to know that you know, you know, just try it

You know, don't don't be scared to leave the house. Get out and do something. It's working for me We you know, columbus took a chance motherfuckers. That's right The sun's shining on you. It's a beautiful day to be alive. Have a great night, brother. I love you with all my heart Likewise, thank you for calling papa. See you later. Bye buddy. Bye Uh, he got charged with murder attempted murder and he's facing life in prison because of all of his convictions If they were real the they revoke his his bail. So he's yeah, he's in there. Yeah, if he's in here, man, that's it Hey, man, it took 17 fucking years Together been there. Who's next? All right

Yo Joey, what's up, baby boy This is benny briley come calling from talking california. Oh, shit. Everybody's calling from california. I love it. What's happening, baby? Where you at your home? You get your dick sucked. I had to turn it up in the attic today and uh, you know Just for the show and made a little smoke session to myself and you know, finally got through so Thank you very much for calling my brother. What's your name again, brent? Oh, no, this is ben Riley. Ben Riley. Okay, ben Riley. Ben Riley. I think he said brent Riley

What's going on? You're sizzling the other party by yourself. You bad motherfucker How we do it one with you guys, you know, let me ask you something. Do you live at home? Uh, absolutely. Yes, sir. What are your mom's thinking doing up in that fucking attic? Shit, I don't know. I'm just trying to be quiet. So she don't hear me Now how many times have you smoked up in the attic? Oh, shit, I'm doing by the bowls and probably about half a gram so far No, no, how many years have you been smoking in the attic for?

How long? Oh, well, I don't know. I mean, just, you know, whenever I could do it When the time is right, has it ever has it ever reached until the dad says? Uh, it kind of it gets to the ventilation sometimes and I uh, I think they're kind of used to it by now but Because they you know, my parents don't smoke, but yeah, it's it's cool though. It's cool. So they know what the liquor smells like Uh, yeah, they know what it smells like for sure. Yeah, they're They've been on the block I used to fucking have an attic

I used to take my buddies up there, right and we smoke like let's say 27 joints We get like we get like 25 hours worth of pot and we roll up 32 joints like that was a deal But if you got 32 joints out of 25 bucks, you could sell seven joints and get seven dollars back That was your thinking when you were 13 and 14 Oh, yeah, we would go upstairs. Oh, yeah, and nobody was allowed to leave There'd be five of us in the room. How many would you smoke 25? Oh my god from like two to like six and there'd be a cloud up there with the air conditioner Finally one day after my mom did died years later

I was talking to my stepdad in the middle of conversation. I want to show you something And he took a box And in that box There had to be thousands of fucking roaches Hmm Oh, that's a style because you didn't even have the fucking etiquette to throw him away You threw him behind your dresser. He goes. It took me a whole fucking day to pick him up. I could not believe How long were you smoking for and I didn't know, you know, yeah

Like that's how long I got away with it for in that fucking attic. That's why it's interesting to me that you know What do you do for work? Actually, I live in Stockton, but I work as a pool chemist Over in Sacramento at a water park. Look at you bad motherfucking you work here, right? Uh, pretty much. Yeah, there's a you know, a few months out of the winter where you know, there's some time off But yeah, I'm about to get it started back up pretty soon here You get a little fucking red shorts on With your little camera set

You fucking throw the water thing you shake that motherfucker up if the ph is fine. No pubic is Kids jump in It's warm piss with salt water and stop eating your juice. You ever stepped on compilates in the body Sometimes They make you take a shower at the pool, right? But you take a shower at the pool. You got your bikini on so you don't really watch that pre-comp that's around your jizz helmet, right? You just walk around with pre-comp cuts If you wouldn't want to know a shower, I'm talking about talking about me. I'm talking about the most americans. They're like

I'm gonna go to the pool. I might as well just jump in there and take a shower I don't think freak. I'm gonna just leaks out or it must be boy. No, but just sit around your chism hole And the fucking Your full chism hole and then the fucking drop to the bottom of the pool and then just collagulates down there like a jellyfish And they want you never you never been you never been in the pool and you feel like You ran into a coral leaf For the church and diehard, you know fan religious, you know religious listener and you know, I just want to shout out to you guys Thanks for you know hitting hitting the fans back up always keep that real, you know, and you know, we always appreciate it and

Yeah, man, keep doing your thing guys. I love you. Thank you very much for calling for smoking dope in your attic You took me back to five minutes, bro. I love you at all my heart. Thank you. Stay black and be all right Uncle Joey. All right, my bro. All right, Lee. See you. See you. Hi buddy. It's fucking great. I love these people I love these motherfucking so what Lee? Well, I'm just imagining if like like uh, someone who was working on the show or like a pretty like a Sponsor was ever like worried about content what they would think about that that discussion. What discussion? fucking uh The comable, I don't I'm so happy we were just talking about but

Oh, it is a mole I think I wonder what they think about that Call a little plus complain What are you a fuck with a fuck you call bitch? Oh my god, this is freedom of speech the constitution. This is why podcasts are fucking great. What's cracking my brother? Am I in here? You know who you are Don't fucking hide cops. I got I got your number. I'll send you 10 pizzas What's happening people everything all right over there my brother

Uncle Joey how much I love you guys. I love you too, man. Come on, man. Oh my god. We love you, brother We ain't fucking around. We got a nice roofie on a monday night. Very mellow. No fakeness. Nobody's a genius Nobody wants to fucking tell you what the earth weighs It's a monday night smoke a bomb and scratch your balls It's past midnight. I'm calling from the east coast. I got a 904 Jacksonville number, but I live in Fort Lauderdale All right, I imagine look at you Jacksonville, but you live in Fort Lauderdale down there. So you move from the fucking Mandarin down there To that fucking hard rock cafe where Steve Simone resides

All you live Uncle Joey front row front row Steve Simone has like three resonances Over here Florida and fucking Denver now. He was just there for three weeks I'll be back down there. They wanted me to go back in March, but I just couldn't there was too many weeks put together my brother So I'm trying to kill this down here, Uncle Joey. No, we have a lot on the saturday night. You did amazing No, we did a good time. We had a good time down there. You know, I love you crazy mother fuckers You said my girlfriend looks like um, she sucks dick with a napkin Oh, she's nice looking then she's very decent

You're like you're killing me man. You brought a nice girl to the front, but you still put as part of the show I thought it was great. No, man. You know, we fuck around though But I'm happy you're fucking up and I'm happy. What kind of work do you do papa? Well, here's here's the deal and here's one of the main reason I'm calling and I'm glad that he's actually on the show Because I know that um back in the day, Stephen the flying jew there had their own little show and um From all from all you guys, um, you guys inspired me to follow my dreams I was at 80c security for 13 years the big alarm company And I'm going I I resigned two weeks ago. I started my own company not in alarm business

But they actually have to do a twitter and social media for small businesses Um, so I'm I'm going for it man. I cashed out some of my savings and starting my own thing and grinding down here God bless you, bro. You live in the american dream and you know what you're gonna do well You're gonna do fucking well fast also because Everybody needs help with twitter and facebook. Let's face the future some people, you know, some people As you would say uncle joey that just have no idea what the hell they're doing and uh, mother competition. I saw That are active on social media and and there's so many other good restaurants and other places that Aren't represented while on there. So that's a big opportunity in that industry. I think that's a great opportunity

That's a great idea. I think a restaurant. I I believe that To be alive in 2015 as a business You have to be on every social outlet and if you have to pay somebody to tweet for you Yeah, I got it. Listen, just because I could tweet I can't fix a fucking bicycle Like if my bicycle chain broke, I gotta call fucking Larry the black guy. Yeah, I gotta fucking Johnny Schwinn You know, I don't know how to change the oil in the car. We all can't be good at everything Right, we all can't be good at everything for years. I didn't use my space

To my advantage. I didn't know that you could put on there to go fuck yourself and sniff my fucking nuts Yeah, I never do So I applaud you brother. I'm happy that uh, I think about that every day. I think about What day an American says I'm not doing this anymore. This is great And how many people don't get the chance to do what you're doing to get up one morning and say, you know what bro? I'm not doing this no more. I'm gonna try working for myself and I'm gonna suffer I'm gonna suffer for a year, but I'm gonna take my savings and two nights a week. I'm gonna eat ramen Yep, I'm a 69 with my girlfriend during halftime. So I have to pay for fucking Netflix

And you know, you know how it is brother and you do it and next thing you know It's your own creation And next thing you know, you're doing it for five years and you're subletting work because you got too much work And you've already made a half a million somebody's offered to buy the company from it It's just amazing what it does and so many people so many Americans are scared to make that little fucking adjustment For years. It was scary. Yeah, I'm not gonna say it's not man. No everything is fucking scary Dog for anybody to grow it's gonna be fucking scary Planned and simple you're not gonna go from point A to point B without being fucking scared

Whether it's a fucking car ride Whether it's a fucking because some car rides are slow and some of them are fucking fast when you go, you know, bro You have to live for that. Everybody wants to go to great adventure I got the day on the rides I went down the biggest roller coaster But you're sitting at a fucking job like a fucking mumbo taking orders from a loser From a fucking loser and god forbid the guy fucking dies You're gonna take his job

And you're probably gonna make 40 to 50 thousand dollars a year You still got a fucking answer to some fucking Cut in florida that doesn't have anything to do with it and at the end, you know what? They give you a fucking gold watch not even and you move on and you live your life And now you gotta fight social security for a fucking pension. So, you know what man at 52 I'm really happy. I did what I did because you're gonna die anyway. At least die Doing what the fuck you love Or at least something that you believe in

That's that's so big How many fucking people steve someone after you discovered comedy? That you realize you're so happy that you discovered you're calling. Absolutely. This might be bro in two years You might have 18 people working for you Do you know that bro? That's your goal Do you know that bro in a year? You can have 12 people working for you. I've seen it in that media. So Bro, god bless you. I love you. Thank you for giving us love and support I appreciate it. You guys keep up the good work. I love you motherfucker. That's what I'm talking about. This is the family

Fuck fans. I don't want no fucking fans, bro. You want to be a fan? Go go jump up and down with these fucking Go jump up and down. There's a family. We're gonna take over this motherfucker. Trust me. This state of mind Is the only state of mind to have suck my dick I'm going for it. If not, I'm gonna shotgun and I'll turn this motherfucker I was trying to tell you one thing man I was born in columbia, but my parents moved to new jersey when I was five I was raised in new jersey till I was 16 years old man Where at you touch bait you touch home on a lot of things that you touch on where did you grow up?

It's just amazing that I came across you many years ago Uh, lisa. Yeah, you're amazing as well, man. I'm glad that you two hooked up Thank you moaned when a greatest storyteller's in the industry. We got it. We got it. I feel blessed that I'm on I'm on the air right now Oh, I'm blessed that I'm on the air fucking with you. We could be in israel sucking cock getting fucked in the ass by Talking foreign languages I love you buddy. Thank you for calling Thank you at one billion. Love you guys. Love you guys love Oh my god

That's great. Those are the only two options either in this podcast or you're getting fucked in the ass by merchants in israel You know, everybody talks to you about being an american. That's what being american is. It's one day going You know what I can do. I really enjoyed myself moving couches for you I really did. I learned how to take the doors off the handle. Yep I learned how to fucking paint. I learned how to do this But right now I want to go try this for myself. Fuck you gotta fail. I might fail. Yep I might fail, but I'll never fucking know unless I'm doomed to fail. I was supposed to fail. We're all supposed to fail. Yep

But you know, sometimes you just pick up an extra couch and somebody liked you and they said, you know what and then Here you are. Here you are now moving 18 couches a fucking day at $50 a couch six days a week God bless you, bro. Where's the call? Oh, no, I was just gonna say I heard a pretty cool like uh Discussion the other day about the difference between people who write checks and the people who cash checks That's kind of cool. Like it just I it was just that quit. It was somewhere on espn I think it was something about like owners getting less of a punishment than players But I just like that statement really stuck with me to look at it people who write checks are better Like just don't have the same thing as the people who cash checks

That's my love because you're taking notes. I'm trying. All right. Let's take the What's up, my brother John D. What's up, brother? What's going on? What the fuck you been? Man, I've been here listening to you, uncle. I'm over here waiting. I need to call two fucking hours Lee Lee get it together. He was supposed to call an hour ago. He's got the fucking magic potion What are you calling from playmo? What are you calling from my brother? Man, right now I'm stationed up in berkeley, california. Oh, shit. Look at you up there. What are you doing up there? Yeah, I'm a so-called native man. Okay

But all right two things to my call here first Gotta get it out of the way Steve Simone. What's going on, man? How are you buddy? What's up, buddy? What's going on guys? Hey, you guys I fucking love the show man Every morning every monday wednesday Catching the morning catching the night whatever it is man. Listen to the old school horn Love it all man. Wow

And uh, a big thing joey when you tell everybody when you say tell them all fucking suck your dick in the morning That shit really translates to A lot of aspects in my life. It fucking does. Thank you Go ahead joey No, I'm just saying that I want people to feel that I want people to wake up and we all have this fucking doubt in the morning I fucking hate it. I fucking hate it. If that doubt was to beat us We wouldn't be here. We'd be homeless

We'd be on this disability. We'd be really fucking fat and I'm on a scooter And having our nephews push us around With that little fat fucking retarded head so I just want to get everybody to say fuck that doubt because dog I get it every morning every morning. I want to stay in bed like everybody else And say fuck this and fuck that and let them evict me But something inside of you. So that's the way I have to translate it to myself

You got to get up grab your balls watch that pussy good and tell everybody you suck your dick But it's your lucky day. It's your lucky day. Fuck you at the liquor store. I'm I got the Every morning when I wake up, I feel like I got the winning lottery ticket Somewhere in my body in my mind. I have an idea Uh, I thought something we have the winning lottery ticket every morning when we wake up I don't care how bad your fucking life is bro. Even when I was in prison. I had that fucking mentality I got the winning recipe today The recipe is to smile all day

To smile get yourself to fucking smile all day. That's number one Because if you get yourself to smile the rest of the day is easy And trust me, I got a hard day smile all day too. You know what I'm saying? I got like calling people cocksuckers Look at this chick. Fuck cut me off. You know, we all get fucking mad But uh every day that smile Really does man. Even when I was coked up. I always tried to Be a little pleasant on myself every morning. So thank you for understanding where I'm coming from papa Hey, real quick joey. I hear you always dropping knowledge on old school sports

Fucking earl the pearl John had a chick. I'm a big basketball fan What do you know? I've never heard you talk about this publicly Well, maybe you know something and if you don't you fucking have to pistol peak maravich bad motherfucker Was raised by his father. Let me tell you something in today's world. They would have thrown pistol peach father in jail But he created a fucking tremendous bro. He won't let him come in the house He fucking beat him with sticks and fucking make him do figure eights of basketball standing on a milk rate With balanced on one hand. That's why pistol peep became one of the fucking that's what they call that thing the maravich drill

Pistol peep was not alcoholic. That was the other, you know, he had demons growing up But his father made him shoot, you know 6,000 free throws a day in the cold winter jerry west This is jerry west house shit jerry west started the day off with 300 jump shots a day Tomorrow morning go get a ball and try to do 300 jump shots not shots Jump shots from base up with the hand extension. You won't be able to walk for a fucking month You do 300 fucking jump shots in a day. Wow one of my early influences was pistol peep His downfall was he shot too fucking much

So if you look at his percentage shooting percentage, you know, he shot 50 times a fucking game because he was at the No, he was a jazz Wasn't he a jazz when they were New Orleans because that was where he was from Louisiana he went to ala he was like a hometown state like uh, he's one of those kids that's homegrown that became a star So he went to a school in Louisiana He went to lsu and then he played for the jazz. Oh my god. They must have loved him. He was a great fucking white player, man but he was a drunk And uh, if you watch if you go to youtube and type in red on round ball

And you'll have an episode of John have of uh, pistol peep dribbling doing dribbling drills Look at that bleed. See if it's there. What the fuck? What is it called? Let's just see what like red on round ball. We're slipping man. I know he's slipping. He's just slipping Give me 40 milligrams of stars and 40 40. Shit You're lucky if you got 40 times All right guys, thanks for letting me call in thanks for let me talk Hold on i'm checking this out for you dog. Where the fuck you going? Oh, my bad. My bad. My bad. Stay stick around Hey, but you know a quick story about his dad what I heard

He wanted to go out for quarterback Right before we pay Yeah, we're playing. We're playing. I told you pistol peepers Hands are extended This is pete malovich told you who the fuck you think you're dealing with g You got an old school. Who's to hit dogs? Also playing with the new allen's jazz told you who the fuck you think you're dealing with motherfuckers All right, go to red out round ball on youtube tonight and set me a fucking twit. I love you cocksucker

Thank you for calling in see. I know fucking pistol pee I would all right. Stay black my brother. I would never have guessed that pistol peep was white Yeah, I love the fucking guy He was one of my dribbling idols This fucking lisa. I don't know you want to take another call. Yeah, we're taking calls. It's early He ain't going nowhere. The store's closed the chinese restaurant. He hung up on me. He answered the phone What's going on dog? What's going on here? What's going on here cocksuckers

Hey, what's going on guys trying to volume off It's jonas fucking jonas out here in vegas. What's up jonas? How are you sir, man? I'm gonna see the three you guys together on the show tonight Come on dog. It's a beautiful fucking night to be alive. We're over here stone to the gills We're about to drop another star of death How's it going over there jonas? Ah good good, man. Just staying late here at the store Just to catch the shows before I head home. That's about it man. That's nothing exciting in vegas

All right, well at least you're in fucking vegas. That's it. You're going home. It's 10 o'clock. You're tapping out on me jonas You're not gonna go take something. Oh, yeah, man. You're not gonna go for war and sapper hooker Fucking war and sapper stupidest thing I ever heard. What the fuck did he do? I don't know I just had do you know anything about do they don't want to pay him jonas. Do you know anything about football? Yeah, a little bit there. You know, I don't follow it like I used to man. I know warren saps supposing out He got trouble off the other side. I know who yeah, he got fired Tell us why give us the story He was uh, all I know all I know is some shit with some prostitute allegedly. I believe that's the legal way to say it

I don't listen to prostitutes, but for some he did something where the prostitutes went and got the cops I don't know what kind of prostitute gets the cops. So we must have done something bad Yeah, he yeah, yeah, he he he hit her Oh, and he's married with kids and shit. He's fucking telling some lies tonight, dog He's with the anaphyl network at the Super Bowl, which is the biggest football game ever He couldn't just get a girl. Why do you have to go beat up a hooker? Because that's what's down there is fucking dirty filthy hookers The best hookers from all over the country get together and they fly in for that

They charge exuberance amount for good pussy. They blow smoke in your asshole and They they fucking brush their teeth with your fucking cumquat Whatever the fuck they want to do you ever get a cheek to brush your teeth with your commonly That's what you know for you guys When you shoot a fucking loan Just like that now brush it that teeth is shiny they say They say 400 what's going on here, bro? I'm sorry I'm sure it

Talk to me my brother. What's happening? I got a more sorry. When are you when are you guys coming out again? We'll be there. You guys played over a soft point. We'll be back in south poli memorial day weekend That's how we fucking roll. I don't know Steve Simone's available But he's always available. He's always got a place with me in my heart At least I don't be there playing the drum by the what happened, brother And Simone I've been catching your uh your podcast man some good stuff

I've been listening from the beginning and trying to catch up. Oh, thank you so much Jonas. Thank you Yeah, this is good stuff. The thing with piper was great and you've had a you've had a lot of good ones All you guys are doing a lot of great work and I just want to say seriously Thank you man for all the podcasts from all you guys. Wow. Thank you Jonas. I love you cocksucker I'll see you memorial day weekend. Give me a hug and I'll give you a cheap Oh, you Come up to me in my email. I'm Jonas and I'll give you a cheapo chew. That's how I wrote, right? All right, all right the last time I saw you I was on my first one ever and that was a fucking nice a nice ride

This one we're gonna give you what was it a 70 milligram or 180? Oh man, you got to ask the local what he gave me and it was a gift from my nephew who came in from Cali and Goddamn that didn't even fucking pick me for a ride. We're gonna bring you a 180. So you see the devil and his cousin Well, that'll be easy to do here in Vegas, man All right, thank you my brother. I love you. Thank you. Thank you very much for calling All right, my pleasure man. Take care. Bye. What's up, Lee? What are you looking for? I'm looking for an email. There's no emails. What's the calls? Okay? Jesus Christ. No, it's for you guys to hang out I love you

They hung up. Here we go. There you go. What's going on over there? Yo, Joe, what the fuck? You've been up over here for the call. What the fuck have you been doing? Well, I can't believe I finally got through to you guys, man. I'm just watching the the podcast here Uh, I just got off of work about an hour ago, man. It's uh, it's it's surreal talking to you guys, you know Where you at my brother? Yeah, I'm in Fresno, man. Oh, okay. What kind of work you do, buddy? I work at a cell phone shop, bro. Look at you. What kind of phones you fix? Uh, no, we cell phones. I work for sprint. Look at you. That's all you had to fucking say. I got sprint

Okay, I don't mind I've been with you since uh 2000 the fucking four. I'm always fucked when I got my first big check from spider-man too That's why I went with the sprint with no credit and they gave me $200 limit They cut my phone off a couple times over a quarter here a dollar there But we've been straight for about 12 years now. We got no drama and I I'm a faithful fucking Follow the sprint. I've been on the plane and the phone the phone rings I've been on the plane a thousand feet in the air and the phone is rung. Wow

And when I answer it, there's nobody there, but it gets up there sprint. Don't fuck around jack Maybe I'll switch over I've been in fucking deep places in the mountains of kentucky paduca And you give me two or three minutes of my sprint fucking work. So But that motherfucker reaches out. They got those martians sprint martians sprint. Don't fuck around here And what else do you do besides cell phones over there? Uh, nothing much man. I just if friends though, there's not much to do here I mean, uh, I remember you were telling the story where you came in you did a show here

You said you almost got mugged by some black Oh my god, scary as shit. That's what we used to do the coach of the high school used to produce shows there The coach of the fuck the football coach is a black coach. Sweetheart of the guy Sweetheart of the guy, you know, he I last spoke to him about six years ago He was trying to branch out. He was doing shows down like uh, well those things when they trade fucking things Some flea market swap me. Yeah, swap me. So you want to do a show the swap me I'ma drop you off at the fucking yeah Yeah, friend knows a really weird place man. You hear a lot about uh, you know, it's like the mess capital

You know, they say it's one of the poorest cities in in the country. It's just a it's a strange place But I have grown up here, you know, I'm from l.a. I have family that still lives down there And I try to visit as much as I can now I would love it if you if you would be able to make a show down here You know, I don't think we have much of a comedy scene What's close to Fresno? What's next to Fresno? Bakersfield uh bakersfield. Yeah, I know they do a lot of shows down there like bakersfield Like say I the area sometimes too. All right, we'll do something for you. We'll do a nice podcast combination show up there Yeah, I've seen I've seen you live before though. I went to a Joe Rogan show in uh in san jose at the improv back in 2008

And you opened for him and I think it was you Ari You opened for him and uh, it's a funny story about that show You know, that was my first time going to a comedy show I was so excited to just you know, just to see the show and uh, I ended up locking my freak keys in the car And I I luckily enough there I left my uh, I left my window like cracked a little bit So I had to like my god what I did is I my guy heard my uh, I used my my uh, my radio antenna from my car to like jig my um To jig my key lock loose

So I ended up getting you know, my door opening and still uh getting my keys and making it in time for the show So and it was a killer show man. You uh, and Ari open for Joe and then seen Joe was just you know It was a it was a whole ordeal Well, thank you my brother. We try to give you some anarchy Yeah, man Like that Lee sciat is having a nervous breakdown Why you were telling me that story? He was thinking about something

Closing his eyes thinking about foods going no I'm gonna have to go back to the for our fitness in two in the morning We're gonna we're gonna eat another piece of star here You and that'll put you to the podcast You know hearing the interaction that you guys have, you know, just hearing lee giggle, you know He gets you get lee you get lee high enough for everybody Pretty much there's a milligram to go around Lee's a fucking good man, brother. Thank you very much for calling in and for listening and for the love

You know that we fucking love you guys Yeah, we love you guys. I love you motherfuckers Thank you, papa. Have a good night. Be safe and I'll see you in san jose or biggest feel soon All right, man. All right, my brother I forgot what the fuck the poor kids from that's our president fresno Fresno bakers feel. What's up, Lee? How are you feeling, brother? What were you thinking about? I'm really fucked up. That's okay. You're fucked up every night. Yeah

Am I doing ain't not being fucked up. Yeah, it's gonna be nice right now tonight. You're living in fear You're in a home watch a movie rub your feet. Oh, yeah, who's better than you? No one nobody. What the fuck you scared of? I'm not scared. You got nothing to fear nothing. No man. No nothing. You leave motherfucking sciat Hell, yeah Okay, what's up steve some love and life Me too. What's up? What the fuck? What's happening, brother? Man, what's up, uncle joey? You know, I love you guys second. Where you calling from? Where you calling from? Hey, I'm calling from Las Vegas big dog. Look at you. You bad motherfucker in the city that don't sleep number two

That's right. That's right. All day What's got o.g. Randy up in the house? Look at you. Hey, man. I talked to you on twitter the other day I just want to tell you. I appreciate you all are back at me, man. I appreciate that. Of course, man Thank you. What do we talk about? Hey, I just told you I appreciate you being on the podcast. I appreciate you doing what you do Well, thank you and no, you know, it's a lot of fun talking, but no, thank you man. I appreciate that Man, I can't believe I got through. I'm over here like a fucking crack bean on payday, dude I got you. What do we do for a living my brother? What do you do over there in Vegas?

Man, I ain't gonna lie dude. I tattooed so weed out the house, you know pay that child support like a boss Okay, you know, it's great. I imagine you're gonna be around the morning of the weekend Hey, I'll tell you what you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna be at the south point. I saw your fucking website And I'm gonna be at the south watch me to be wearing a joey fucking ds t-shirt. You're gonna see me up there at the south point Rocking that family like a boss. All right. That's why I love you, man. What kind of so that's all you do. That's it You just hustle in Vegas, my brother. Hey, man. I do whatever I can do. I don't give a fuck. You want me to pick weed I don't give a shit. I'll fucking do whatever I gotta do and put fucking food on my family's plate Man, nothing wrong with that, my brother. It's a tough stuff out there for a pimp

Hey It really is my brother Hey, I want to tell you something man. Hey, you inspire me to do a lot of things man I'm gonna tell you right now. You you got me to quit smoking cigarettes. I just stick to the weed I do what I'm supposed to do Be the dad that I'm supposed to be Much respect to you your misses and mercy and everybody that you have on the podcast all the comedians everybody I love all that motherfucker. You know, we try real hard to put this together for your people

I try real hard with lee lee and I we talk 10 times a day And how we're gonna make this show the best we can make it, man Man, and you know what? Someone like me if it really reaches out to people like me, man, I'm gonna tell you straight up It really does it really does and to get on this podcast right now. This is like a dream come true This is like a little fucking a mini dream. Fuck disney land. I want to do Oh You won't get measles calling. Listen, man

When lee and I put this together, I always wanted people to get something out of it I could be funny on stage. I wanted you to feel me. I wanted people to know that uh That you know what man? I ain't better than you motherfuckers. Not by no means. I robbed. I stole. I had fucked up thoughts But you know what? They hide they they tell us we can't do it. You know, they tell us it's like man It's like god testing you, you know, and we really want to get to that point because in our heart You know, you see about these people who are millionaires. They don't help nobody If I had a million dollars, I would help everybody everybody I could because well, who gives a fuck

What are you gonna do with it? Who gives a fuck anymore? I've seen what life is about and when I walk around I see people hurt You know, uh, my friend called today. She lost her job. It breaks my fucking All I want to do is have money so we can give it away. Yeah and fucking eat and fucking get our dicks up During the halftime, whatever the fuck you're supposed to do And I I want people to know that even if you're a felon Whatever the fuck house you came from you could do whatever the fuck you want in this country That's why it's the united states of america But somebody always puts this thing in our mind that we can't do it like we ain't good enough and we're right there

We're right there with these motherfuckers. They know better than us. Obama ain't better than you dog These motherfuckers put that pants on one leg at a fucking time And that's what I've been saying from the beginning of this podcast Fuck these motherfuckers that say you're not gonna do this. You're not gonna do this. Watch me. Watch my motherfucking smoke Watch my fucking smoke motherfucker. Fuck you. I'm gonna do this shit. You know why I'm gonna do this shit Not only for myself. I'm gonna do this because fucking joey Diaz put me on the motherfucking map You put you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no You put yourself on the map, bitch

You put yourself on the map when i'm at when you're at the fucking supermarket in las vegas Joey ain't there with you. You're there by yourself. Don't you ever fucking forget that You're you're like fucking batman after robin came out of the closet. You know what i'm saying? That's who you are You're like batman when robin said fucking, you know, I don't know if you know it's over Ain't nobody's in this seat. If anybody's coming about is coming from now on I love you my brother. Keep doing your struggle, bro. Stay black You're gonna see me at the fucking goddamn south point. We're gonna come dog. I don't give a fuck We don't have money for a ticket. Please give me a hug. We're gonna love you to the day we die

And if I ever get a million dollars, we'll get we're in I'm gonna buy you a fucking sizzler steak. I love it because that's how ghetto motherfuckers do that's right I'll shit blood, but I'll love you to the end Damn, right Damn, right much respect to you guys. I do my brother doing your thing Fucking much love ran dog in the fucking house always doing your thing Appreciate you answer my phone call and y'all have a good night man. Stay black and beautiful That's right. Fucking tremendous. You motherfuckers want to make me go out now

That's why I said to love that what we'll put together is our own little family. It's not about buying a t-shirt It's not about taking a picture. I don't care if you don't have money for the show I don't care if you even come see me live If you just listen to the podcast and take that nobody could stop you. Yes, you're the only one who can stop you dog This is shit as easy. You can make this shit easy. Fuck these cuts They just put shit in your head that you can't but you had to fuck out of here. What's up with the calls? Nobody's calling Yeah, we got calls, but you're right. You're having a moment with them. I had no fucking moment Do you want to feel like a national anthem or no one asked for anthem?

This is the anthem right now. We did dogs already put them on. What the fuck? What's happening? Why are you hanging up on me? Why are you doing what's going on? Uncle Joey? What's up, man? What's up, my brother? There you are It's been a year for you man. I'm here in Phoenix, Arizona. Oh, look at you. You bad motherfucker. I love you. I'll be down in april I'm just saying now, you know, uh A Cuban mexican out here fucking phoenix. Okay Look at you came in 79 And uh, for what you do for us like all the viewers and shit, man

It's crazy like to see like you change my perspective Well, bro, I'm happy you're getting something out of it, bro Yeah, 1985 I believe He lived in LA for like five years. He came out here in phoenix Knocked your mama, you know You know, you really just changed my perspective and how you approach everything in such a positive way You know, it really inspires me to say like I don't do a fuck You know, I'm just gonna live my life and do what I gotta do

I don't care anymore. I just appreciate what you guys do It's your world, baby. I've been watching you guys every opportunity I get Uh, you know, it's great And listen, man, that's what we're here for. There you go. Tell me shit going on. I just uh, I'm very lucky Steve Simone came on to to give us some love and I'm feeling a lot and fucking Lee's here. We figure we get high and it's a month. It's the first monday of the month And I always like doing something on mondays. I really like waking people up on monday. So Fuck let's do a little calling show. I try to do it

I'm like, uh, you know 21, but You know, you really put life into perspectives, you know, and uh It has been really helping me You know, I don't do what some people say to me now You know, I'm gonna do what I do do what I love You know, stay here with my family and my friends That's all it's about man Doing what she loves it doesn't get no better than that at the end of the week when you're 50 you're gonna go

I'm happy. I made that choice. Yep, you know Yeah, I mean the positivity is it's overwhelming at times, but you know, that's what makes the world go around, dude I appreciate you guys very much. I appreciate that you appreciate it You know, I got you by 30 fucking years and we're having a conversation about life So how good is that? It's beautiful. I don't know you you don't know me But we're having a conversation and we have this conversation twice a week And I take from you guys and you guys take from me and I take from lee and I take from Simone

And we all just get together. We're trying to make better. That's all we want to do, man It's just be a little better every week this week. I did one more push-up. That's it That's it. Why do people Think that that's bad this week. I did one more fucking push-up My god, that means at the end of the year you're gonna do 52 fucking push-ups But last year you couldn't do a push-up now you're doing 104 fucking push-ups Wow

Yeah, so how you look at it, man? You just gotta look at it the fucking face and say you're not gonna fucking tell me what to do No, I'm gonna do what I do It's so weird how I learn from you guys, man. So thank you from all my heart and hopefully I'll see you in april and if you don't have the money to come hit me up and if you at least come down and What is that in april? You know, I don't have the date in front of me. It's uh april I'm in tempi april. I'm in tempi and I think I'm in houston. So that's great I think I think I'm gonna. No, I'm gonna try to make it out there. Definitely man. All right, brother I love you. All right. We take care of you. Give your fault. Give your parents love. I'll love and we'll see you

Give us all our love Well, man, all right, bro. Stay black and beautiful marito What's up, lee Not much. I'm good. I'm really I'll be calories you got left I don't know the exact amount but not not too many hundred. Yeah, that's good 800 you got no 800 left. I didn't have that much to eat today. What'd you eat all day? I had a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast and then I had the leftover turkey hot dogs

No bacon, but just turkey hot dogs with a pirate's booty for lunch Pirates booty the popcorn cheese puffs. Oh god They look the one chip I can have So why is it not fat? No, they mean they're not great, but it's better than Doritos I shouldn't be having them but You did one push-up today. No, but I did it now on the elliptical. You did the one push-up Not today. It was the last time we did a push-up What day is today? One day and a second. It's not boring.

17 years ago. I don't know. I don't see you was on the phone, will you? 17 years ago. What's today? What the fuck? I gotta deal with you to the stamina. What's happening, brother? Joey Diaz. You got it my friend. What's going on in your world? Uh We'll be on now You're breaking up my brother Time again call back you gotta call back as you're breaking up brother Yo

Yo What's happening? Where you been dog? I Just been sitting here waiting Where you calling from? Where you calling from? I'm calling from winyard. From where? Winyard, Saskatchewan From canada? You bad motherfucker look at you up there freezing like a soldier

In your little fucking you're eating a little igloo right now fishing and shit smoking a joint I've just I got Hitting the bong right now to be honest. All right blow a little smoke for the church from canada hit that motherfucking to the microphone That's my boy. That's why I love you Saskatchewan Repa fucking senting in the house canada. This is what i'm talking about Who else since I got it. I got it through fucking osmosis. I love you cox ducker The NSA is gonna be here like I don't give a fuck about the NSA

I love you too buddy. You think if I worried about the NSA I'd be doing this and I love you joey I love you too. What about Steve Simone? He's an awful He gets no Steve Simone is awesome. Panama. He's I love you brother. Thank you. What's up my brother. How is it doing up there? That's hysterical It's cold as fuck, but it's all right It's enjoyable if you make it enjoyable, right? Yeah. Yeah. Now. What time's on are you? It's a state of mind You're in the east coast times. What's it? You're in the east coast times. It's like almost midnight here Okay. Yeah. Yeah, you're so you're in central. Maybe yeah

It's 10 o'clock here. Yeah, so that's central to be honest. We never we never ever changed our time But we link up with central right now. Okay. So that's how I was thinking. What do you do for work up there, my brother? I uh, I'm a forklift operator. Okay. You've been there for a long time Yeah, about 18 years you dig it. You're happy you got benefits you the union Yeah, the hole is nine yards. Yeah, what do you give a fuck? It keeps me happy You got a nice house. I go to a lot of concerts actually. Do you really? I feel you know, yeah But see we live in Saskatchewan. So all the good acts Pass over us really like I'll have to go to Edmonton or Winnipeg really

But we do get our fair share of good stuff Okay, but we don't get like super super good Good for you, man. You live in your fucking life. I love you cocksucker. You're smoking bonk hits at 12 o'clock at night You got peanut butter and junk in a refrigerator Who's complaining life is good life is fucking very good. Life is beautiful. Yeah, you're having a great all kind of weed You're smoking up there death death

Well, oh gee kush. Oh, you know what talking about death. We're gonna kill this last time We go fucking straight the hell So you're smoking some og kush. What does it run you up there for an eighth? Nowadays if you don't mind me asking for an eighth $40 tops. That's not bad. That's what we got in here You guys living like fucking doctors up there I'll tell you one thing about Canada for these motherfucking jet dials that don't know I've never gotten a bad bag of fucking weed in Canada

Because I used to go to Toronto in the early in the late 90s And I had to deliver right to the hotel The kid was telling me the story how the state grew the fucking weed in Canada And they always gave me some nice fucking tight buds that was I mean, it was tremendous I never had a complaint about fucking Canada never what they used to let me in. That's awesome Yeah, I wish you could get back in because I'd go to your show anytime Anywhere but if I can figure how to sneak in the buffalo And take the bus to Toronto and Montreal and all the places that's what I would do

It's getting out. They would have a heart attack like I think they really taken seriously like When did you come through here last week? You guys were here. No, you didn't. We'll look at the film now You didn't fucking come through fucking here. We wouldn't let you in How'd you get in you couldn't have got in unless somebody fucking swiped the wrong hose ideas And I love Canada. I ain't mad at Canada because I can't go in there. I'm the one that fucked up So now I gotta figure out a way to fucking fix it. So But hopefully I'll get up there and see you my brother, right? You keep doing Do another bank for uncle Joe real quick one more. That's amazing. Okay, fill that motherfucker up out of respect

Because I love you bad motherfucker Look at this. You see this Lee Look at it sounds like a fucking helicopter and apocalypse now Oh Yeah, this is what I'm talking about Salute my brother. Thank you for calling and beautiful. I love you guys from the bottom of my heart Thank you for making my night tonight guys God bless. I love you too, Joey. Love you guys. Thank you

Wow Give the coolest people. Let me give some shout outs real quick here My main man Josh Whipple see moaks Inside the numbers Johnny be good Leon my Spanish buddy over there holding it down Clare Fisher Ray J And K. Razo. I love you cocksuckers Pat Shea

You get the shout out of the fucking week. Like I said, John Jason knows how squalanna showed up with Dead Squad deep from fucking three different continents He had Canada, Africa Liberia, he had some some Dead Squad. Is this called Liberia Liberia coughing up the storm skinny. I'd be different. That's what What why you always gotta I don't know if it was fucking Liberia. Let me get a call. We're having a good time here for these beautiful fucking people What's up my brother? What are you doing? What the fuck are you doing? Yo, are they talking to yourself? I got down 9-1-1 you fuck

I Yeah, I'm ordering a pizza. How are you doing the Super Bowl? How are you my buddy? I'm good. How are you doing joey? It's a harry over in brayer. What's up harry and brayer? Look at you calling a long distance Yeah, what's up h tell me something good Tell you something good. Uh, well, I just want to tell you first off um You know, thank you for doing this tonight You know you you and uh lee and steve, you know doing this podcast is great

um You know, I really enjoy it and you know, there's there's very few podcasts that You know, I'll listen to every episode of and you know, you your steve and joey, you know, you guys I'll always listen Thank you. Thank you very much I don't know if you know this anybody else that's listening know this When I do this I put my heart into this I open my heart up to you guys I open up like a fucking book and I talk to lee about it and I want the guests to do the same

I know within five minutes or the guests is gonna suck on that Yeah, because I want these guys to open up their hearts to you That's the only way you're gonna enjoy this if I need to be funny. I'll be funny on stage Yeah, we get jokes and I break his balls But I want you guys to tap into me and I tap into you guys Once I meet you And I see the twitter handles and I put it all together I get you

And I know why we communicate. It's a fucking simplest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life Now I get why you Just something about your personality some about mind. We just click through the fucking computer That's the best. How crazy is this bro? It's unbelievable So cool, but uh, but uh, you know yesterday joey, um, I was walking into the gym and For some reason as I was opening the door

I heard your voice popped into my head And say it's a beautiful day to be alive And you know, I took that with me going in and I had probably just one of the best workouts I've had in a while And you know, it just it just goes to show that you know the energy that you're putting out You know, it's hitting us You know and

You know, um The live podcast You know going to see you at your shows, you know, it you know, you're you're really reaching us And and it's helping You guys are reaching me and it's fucking helping like I said, man, I'm in a different fucking zone right now Leith came to see me the other day. He goes that his girlfriend told him that I've gotten better on stage It's not that I've gotten better. It's that you guys have made me loving what I do a lot more It's not that I got better

I didn't have a reason to be funny before I had nothing I had a people calling a bunch of people going to see Joe Rogan not who this fucking fat guy was Now I have a reason to go home and write for you guys I have a reason to throw away that joke that doesn't work I have a reason because the love you guys give me through the fucking wire I feel it. So I have to be my best which makes out the best of you Which means all of us are fucking doing something at some point in the day

That's we're making conscious of what the conversation we had I'm doing it now, man. I'm doing it fucking down because of you guys You know today, I got mad at my wife because she didn't make me spinach fucking pasta I really want to get healthy. Why I have you guys. I have a reason to fucking live Mercy and my wife is a staple. I have you guys. You guys are 20 years old and they're coming to shows You guys don't even listen to your fucking fathers You have no respect for your fucking families after you because I didn't at that age. I didn't We judged him. We thought that why would I listen to him? He's a fucking loser

But you'll come to a show and talk to me and tell me hey, joey This is what's going on in my life and I'm fucking so grateful for that Because this will somewhere and another make you go back to your dad or your uncle It's all connected right now when I was growing up. I had no respect for nobody's fuck this fucking bum Look at me. He's a janitor. The fuck does he know that guy knows him all my life Anybody, you know, so I appreciate the love you guys give me lee the respect you give lee When steve somones in town, you know how we do it braille. We ain't fucking around dog. What kind of work do you do? Of course um, well, so

Right now I'm I'm in between uh, I'm in between jobs, you know, I moved I moved out to california last year for a job and I got laid off And uh, it it actually took me You know almost seven months, but I just found a new job. Yes And uh, I actually and moving again back to the east coast

For uh, for this job, but uh, you know, while while I was unemployed and while I was You know looking for jobs. I I didn't want to just you know, sit on my ass and not do anything So, uh, I went and I became the certified personal trainer And uh, you know, I because I I eventually want to do that, you know full time I really want to dedicate myself full time to fitness and you know helping people And and that but you know in the meantime, I got to pay the bills So, you know, I got to do what I got to do. I got a hustle

but um You know and and while while I was unemployed, you know, I got I got really down a lot, you know, and uh You know, like I said, Joey, you know going to those live podcasts. Uh, it really helped You know, it it it helped to last You know, uh, Steve that you know seeing you and her bond it it helped Wow, you know and You know, it's it's been a tough road, but you know

There's there's there's light at the end of the tunnel and you know A lot of people get really down when you're job searching Because you don't hear back a lot of people get really down when you're job searching And you know, you don't hear back. You spend so much time. They call you in for interviews And you get so excited because it would be perfect and and you can make this much money And then you just don't hear back and then you just don't hear back It was the thing with with barricades 10 times. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it sucked

To to go through that but it sucks because I've seen a bunch of people who From my hometown are still working at the movie theater, which could be cool But it like you went to school to do something and you're not even trying to do it anymore Yeah, it gets frustrated. It's like it's hard. It's hard not to give up, but it's cool And it eventually pays off usually if you put the work in Yeah, I mean you're lucky if you get a call back when you when you apply for anything, you know, yeah You're you're Both of the times they are flying online and and they don't even see the shit

No But um, bro, I'm happy. It's all working out for you my brother. I really am. I'm happy that uh You got a path I'm happy that you got a little money to fucking keep fooling the table for you and your family and You sound great, bro. Yeah, I love you to death. Thank you. See you Harry. I love you guys So, uh, take care be good and and uh And I'll keep uh, I'll keep it. I'll keep it going Bro, you got my heart and come up here and give fucking Leah free training session

And we'll put you on the fucking thing and talk about it. All right All right, sounds good. That'd be awesome. Good luck to you. Whatever you want to do. You got this button. Thank you Thank you. This is easy for your brother. Good. Good. Good luck. Um, you know, I know you're looking to do this surgery and and you know If you do do it, you know, good luck to you, man. You got it, you know, brother All right, I love you. Take care. Have a good night, papa Thanks for hanging out in Irvine, Harry. I remember him. It's uh, You know when you talk to these guys, you know

And when you see him on it shows, this is different years ago I didn't want to go on the road now. I can't wait to meet people. Yeah, I'm gonna bump into with it Who am I going to bump into? Absolutely, you know, like the other night when I saw Jason knows us go ahead You know, I fucking saw him and I was like, oh my god You know, I kept looking at him and I'm like this motherfucker used to bring bags of edible shopping bags Available. Thank god. He didn't bring one tonight. He probably had a pound on him. He probably he was dying to give me one I love these guys. This is the this is the why you go on the road and now I've been to Buffalo twice

I see the same people my mandemar You know, I go to these towns and you see and you start building now I'm gonna have bad shade when I go back. I can go to lunch or bad. Who the fuck yeah, that's great You know, so I just thank you people for being who the fuck you are. This is easy for me This has been great for me and Lee and we started at six in the morning for a while We were yelling and screaming over there. Then we were in an office This has always been easy for me. I told my wife and I go, you know what? I tell when I get pissed off at somebody when they fuck with my wife

Or they mess with the podcast and furiously because this is our baby. This is what This is all we and I have this is it. This is it. Lee without this he's got Paula And after four weeks Paula gonna put up with his fucking little jude dick And not eat her ass turn the hot soup bow with no work. She knows that he knows that who's on the phone. God suck Uh What's up my brother or sister yo, yo, yo, yo, what's up? Where you at? Hey, man, I'm in Tennessee. Look at you. You bad motherfucker. Where are you close to nashville of memphis? Uh close to nashville a couple city south. What's the name of a jackson?

Uh, columbia Columbia, I've never been there, but I heard of columbia very nice. What kind of work you do over there, Tennessee? Um, I'll just briefly quit my job worked at uh, krogers for eight years About to move back to california. I got my pops. He ain't doing too well So I decided I'm gonna move back home Where you going? We're part of what part of cali does your dad live in? Uh, he lives in the bay area. Okay. Look at you. That's a good fucking area Yeah, I grew up there. I was from there born and raised

How the fuck did you end up in krugers in Tennessee? um basically My uncle My dad's brother. I was very close with him. I used to go to his house. It's about every weekend. We're very close I looked at him like an older brother type of deal And he decided he was gonna move to Tennessee with his wife and his kids To start a new family out there and just just you know

Experience life and I decided I was gonna go, you know cross-country with him Got out there liked it told him uh I'm a this was uh My junior year summertime golden in the uh my senior year. So I told him I was gonna fly back to california Graduate and then once I graduated. I flew out to Tennessee and I've been out here ever since wow You're bad motherfucker, Tennessee. Tuxedo So how long have you been there?

It's a what? It's a cool ass place to live very laid back. You like it. You like you like you got a national lot drinking party in Nashville or no Back in the day. I used to I got into a I got into a bra at a club and I ain't been doing that shit soon. So Okay, so you learned your lesson Yeah, I learned the learned the hard way. Hmm. What kind of working I'll be doing the bay area? Um right now. I don't know. I got a lot of friends out there. I'm talking to trying to hook up with I got people that work with the The tesla company. Oh, I got people. I mean, I got people that working all over like I'm trying to get jobs through

Mainly I want to work at Whole Foods because I've already got the grocery experience Working at Kroger's right here. So I like Whole Foods. I like the whole organic the whole healthy, you know part of it. So I'm trying to that that's my first Place I want to work at it. What is your specialty produce? Me yep produce. I was an assistant produce manager for Kroger. That's great. I'm talking about this. My fucking nose a good apple You know what I'm saying? You mean fucking around? Oh, I'm pretty sure Take that fucking apple back. Fuck. Fuck. I see a lizard in it. Yeah, I call that motherfucker. Check that shit out

Take that motherfucker's Worm out of that bitch I'm happy, but I'm happy you're making a change It's it gets cold in Tennessee this time of the year, right brother Uh, usually yeah, this uh, this winter's been a little bit warmer. It hasn't snowed as much You know, it'll snow like what you're from, you know east coast or nothing, but You know, it's been it's been a mild winter All right

It's it's only February 2nd. Don't get too fucking comfy. Don't put the In the bay area a little like a fucking doctor When are you leaving? What are you worried about it? When are you leaving? Um, my dad, uh, he's got he's got stage three bladder cancer. He's about to have a surgery mark second. So Anytime this month. I'm leaving. So Brother, good luck to you. Uh, I know you got a big chore up there being with your dad. You're gonna take care of him I'm happy that you're doing that man. That's always great for him. You know his final month. So maybe you'll pull him out of it or Maybe yeah, I want to be there for him. You know, I just I just I flew back for his birthday in november

And he just started his chemo. He looked he looked he didn't look right, you know and seeing my family my mom You know, she she was taking it very bad my sister, you know, my grandmother everybody You know, and I'm back in Tennessee. So I was just like man. Yeah, I see where you come. I gotta go back Sometimes a family calls brother. That's the bay area. You got nothing to lose my brother. Good luck to you. Thank you for listening I just want to say man that uh, just like all these other callers have called up and and and congrats It just you just said that how good of a person you are the things you talk about how you inspire people, man I'm not gonna lie. There's been times in my work where I wanted to fucking quit And I put on your podcast

And listen to you and it just stupid shit you say just makes me laugh or whatever And it just it just the little things like that make my day better And it's easy for me to the rest of my day. I just I don't know. I'm just it makes you better, man, and I just For everyone else man that that's listening They feel the same shit dude and I speak for them and I say thank you and keep doing what you're fucking doing, man Hope to hope to see you on these bigger movies and you know doing bigger things later on man I love you, brother. I'll see you up in the bay area this summer. All right, man. You come this channel day, man I'm gonna come check you out. God bless your father. I hope everything goes well, brother. I love you

All right, Joey family got your brother Take care, man. Thank you, my brother We think of that Lisa yet. You're fucking sitting there like moots fucking moosalini I don't even know you moose moosalini. You know moosalini is this thing I would hit. I don't fucking know So much love tonight, Joey. This is great. This is why I wanted to do this just to talk let people know where they're at Where we're fucking that one more call. Okay One more call. I love you. What's happening over here? Joey Diaz check it out. Listen. Listen. Oh, shit. That's the reefer compartment right there. What's going on my brother?

Oh, Joey, it is good to talk to you. Lee. Good seeing you. Hey, buddy. What's your name? I'm Casey Seifer from Pittsburgh, Kansas. Oh, shit Motherfucker He won the game. Yeah, like Kansas played Kansas State Saturday night Sunday night. I know was on hold. Oh, shit I have no idea. I'm just all these patriots went in the Super Bowl Wait, thank you. I worked really hard this year. What are you close to brother over there in Kansas? What big cities close to that? You know, we're uh, joplin, azarias No, I've never been I don't

That's the closest it gets maybe uh, Tulsa, okay, Oklahoma I'm going to Oklahoma this year Nice. Yeah. I'm going to hell. Yeah Like in may or something I'm going to Oklahoma some theater that's bringing people in. Oh, that's great once a month or something That's supposed to be fucking dynamite like Todd Barry. Everybody's who's done it. It's like fucking. This is cracking. So that's great What's up with you, Oklahoma? What kind of work you do over there, Kansas? I'm actually a farm labor right now driving tractors and helping out there where I can but I'm actually going to Pittsburgh state University studying some psychology at the moment. When are you leaving?

What was that? Oh, you're going to Pittsburgh state. I'm so sorry this fucking gubby. No, you're kid. Yeah. I'm a junior over there Okay, and when do you graduate? May of uh next year 2016 look at you. So you're working full-time at a farm And then going to psychology school. That's amazing in college. This is what people do, Lee You think everybody sits around and fans that pussy and waits for a bird to drop a fucking barrel There's what you do when you're in college, you know, you had a job at fucking tv s. Yeah Who the fuck who the fuck is this? Oh, is that you Lee? Yeah, who is that? Let me guess who the fuck is that?

Tell her goodbye. We're going to bed. Tell her go to bed. Talk to sucka What's happened brother? See what I gotta live with? She knows one the fucking Nobody calls me this late. They know better. I'm the fucking fucking fucking you in your clothes. Tell her good night. It's over I'll call you tomorrow morning. I'm too high to fucking talk I don't want to talk about law school today Sorry about that and getting really interrupted by fucking lisa yad over here, kansas No, I know you guys are my heroes man. You guys every morning. I love it

You guys give me motivation when I go to school. I get down. It's I get burned out, you know Just study all the time and I get that wake up cocksucker in the morning, man It's awesome. You gotta wake up cocksucker. I like how people respond to it because they know That's the bottom line. You gotta wake up cocksucker. What what's what's with the fucking procrastination? Yeah, what is 10 more minutes gonna do for you? Nothing. What is 10 more minutes gonna fucking do for you? Not a 10. Get up. Come on Chomp choppy watch that pussy get there on time with a smile on your face What's better? Who's better than you? Nobody

Right lisa yad. You're right. Kansas in the fucking house. I love it Jocs. That's right, man. I love you guys. Steve. Hey, what's up? Don't want to forget about it. You gotta take it easy. All right All right. God bless Love you, brother. Thank you very much for calling my friend. We'll see you Joey. Thank you I'll see you in Oklahoma and make cocksucker Hell yeah, I'll see you there. Bring reefer. Don't forget about it Plenty for everybody. All right, brother bring reefer cocksucker bring rolling papers people forget All right, you guys take it easy. All right, brother. Let me give a shout out to the sponsors

I'm gonna do these shows more often wonderful Because I get to talk to you guys. I gotta spread this forum. I gotta figure out how to make it even more Once we get the real cool things and everything going. We're gonna fucking rock your motherfuckers world. All right We ain't fucking around here. I love doing this. I love Monday nights. I like putting together something Thursday, you know, lee and I were talking about doing something maybe Friday I don't know. This is how much we love doing this and communicating with you guys So please be patient with us. We're only gonna get better and better and better and better

And to get better you gotta start with honor cocksuckers not to be a faggy fucking segway or nothing Let's cut through the bullshit. You want optimum optimization? This is the way to get it Go to honor.com right now and look at that tremendous fucking supply of different products from shroom tech The shroom tech fucking sport to the ACT oil with the coconut fucking thing in it The sweet and stuff plus the flagship alpha brain, you know what I'm saying? If you went on a date with a chick and her pussy was missing, would you call her back for the second date? No, she's got no alpha brain that monkey. Go to out and go to fucking on it right now all the alpha brain It's got a money back guarantee. You know focus better if you're not fucking

Firing on all cylinders. We'll send you money back. We don't even want the fucking product. That's how we roll All right, I love you that go to honor.com and press in church. Oh, shit ch and put some bass in your voice ch You are ch and get 10% off your first order. They also have to stay on a program We can deliver it right the house monthly. You don't need to order. Oh gods Also to my favorite people in the fucking world Iron dragon tv.com. You understand me. You want fucking roku? You want fucking kung fu movies?

Iron dragons the way to go classic It man early jacky shan Fucking all that ancient stuff you see from china. You learn how to do fucking mystical stuff life through the air with Fucking a full fucking flip the four straw bow the guy the one episode I seen had the fucking bow in it This is what I'm talking about If you know about stuff like that cut this shit go to iron dragon tv and press in Joey Oh, shit and get two not one free rental, but fucking two. Okay. You make up your mind after that We ain't fucking around and Dave foley's adding new shit every fucking week as soon as he gets it direct from china

This ain't no fucking Dave foley goes deep into the jungles of fucking china and Bangkok And he has to fucking fight fucking 20 fucking people and stab him mother fucking pay a half a million To bring you these fucking kung fu classic films. So don't just look at me and go ha ha ha Fuck you go to iron dragon tv and press in Joey and get two free films on the fucking uncle joey, all right That's how we fucking cook somebody's fucking trying to kill themselves. I smell fucking gas gas was robin williams Hitty six dot com you bad motherfuckers Right here the cigar the year right here hitty six dot com hit a home run with this motherfucker

I love everything they do to me. This is their flagship This fucking hitty six cigar. You know how many weeks you could smoke this shit every night Let's say you want to vegas you can blow smoke and people's faces every night for about a month Deep you understand me plus you're looking to quit cigarettes. They also have the nicotine fucking thing 24 Milligrams 16 milligrams eight milligrams and zero milligrams to you quit smoking go to hitty six dot common press and joey's church Joey's churching at 20 percent off your fucking first daughter, right? That's how we roll. What are you giggling about me if I had a knife?

I throw it at you and I'd make it cut you like That little that's that little white kid the road warrior remember when he had the boomerang You know, so don't forget the premier pen in the vapor world nail the life calm If you want to fucking smoke vapors and get blow torches and all that shit This is the website for you go to nail the life dot com and press in joy. He is old mother fucking shit And you got 20 off your first door. I want to nail the life dot com the other day the web page They got tons of shit going in there daily weekly. I love these fucking people. I love all that stuff

They got the long sticks to dab. They got it all go to nail the life dot com hitty six dot com iron dragon tv dot com and honin dot com if you want to support the podcast And without that I'll do I'll see you motherfuckers next week In austin texas. Fuck lee ain't coming down and it's me and mario vizinski Whatever a crazy name is my friend from philly Where you at next week steve somone edminton canada is what i'm talking about There's no fucking talking about we're reaching you motherfuckers. We're like tentacles. You understand me?

We're like dog shit. We're like Puerto rican's. We're everywhere That squad could be an edmonton arie could be in chicago. I could be somewhere. I don't go into national. I got problems Besides you know what the fuck i'm talking about. I love you cocksuckers the church for life. You bad motherfuckers Thank you for calling. Thank you for taking the time. Thank you for fucking making me a better fucking savage Lee syat. Don't just sit there hit it All right All right, look we were flowing. I think they bump until fucking bump in the roads Sleepy you did this to me. I didn't do nothing good on dot com is covered church to get 10 off of your order

Go to netherlife.com and use cover joe ds to get 20 off the premier vapor pen on the market For a oil and wax mo for the oil and wax smokers out there Go to hit e6.com news cover joe's church to get 20 off of your first order proof is in the vape um It's 20% off of your first order easy to get e-cigarettes and e-cigarettes and go to iron dragon tv You need to cover joe to get 20% off of your order. No, not two free rentals at iron dragon tv This is the new start This is the new start

I've been dancing We've been dancing To show for me Show for me I will show for you Show for you Show for me Show for me

I will show for you Yeah Show for me Oh you You're becoming true I'm gonna build that power I'm gonna build that power Show for me

Come on come on Show for me Show for me Show for me Show for me I'm gonna be the real I'm gonna be the real I'm gonna be the real

I'm gonna be the real