Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #266 - Steven Bauer, Joey Diaz, and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: March 20, 2015

Steven Bauer, Actor, most notably played Manny Ribera in Scarface, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. 
Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for a free trial box 
Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/joey for 20% off. Iron Dragon TV. A New Roku channel with all the best martial arts films. Use Code word joey for two free rentals. 
Recorded live on 03/20/2015.
 Music:
 If Your Girl Only Knew - Aaliyah Aqua Que Va A Cer - Patato Y Totico

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Go to iron dragon TV.com use code where Joey get to free rentals Oh shit Justin you thought it was safe kicking off the weekend the church and what's happening now? Joey Diaz Lisa. Yeah, and my main man Steve bowler. Oh shit. Kick this motherfucker Lee kick Are you fucking nuts if your dick's not getting hard right now jump off the fucking bridge listen to this shit. What oh Friday the 28th of the month, and you're still sitting around Least I act out of stonem I got four stars in me I've been here where've you been, you know me trying to put the pieces together every day trying to do something new

Something exciting. Thank you for switching on today one o'clock Friday my main man in the house Stephen bowler What's happening beautiful California honey? That's what's happening California honey. It kills the fucking pot. They eat the pollen So that'll take down the allergies a little bit. I'm not a big California guy But what I do is I put it on a dish and what I'm gonna offer said like I let go of it I taste it because she got poisoned one time. So before you offer like I gotta go to honey You always have to taste in front of me. So she sees you're not poison and that little thing on Mondays Takes care of my allergies for the week. No, yeah Yeah, and I'm not a big honey guy, but you got to do what you're not a big honey guy

Nothing tea or nothing like that. Yeah I'm getting there. I'm getting there Yeah, my girlfriend She is a big proponent of honey. She's a she's done a lot of research and so we Were you know, we go to farmers markets and and we We find different types of honey. I went to one in Culver City, you know with Cubans Culver City farmers market and this guy had like all kinds of Wild honey like and it was California honey and we we picked up some some different pieces like and they all have different flavors

To me it all tastes like honey. It all tastes like the texture of honey The texture of honey is that it's sweet, you know what I mean? And I'm a salt guy So I you know, I have to work a little to get there, but you know, but I I'm not resisting I'm not resisting especially since my eyes are all messed up because of the you know, the cats and the the allergens You know, the the cat the pet dander the danders. Yeah, you know, well, we got two Bengal big Bengal cats thinking That they were hypoallergenic because she and I are both Pretty allergic to cats, but we love the animals, you know and and they're

Very very freaking cute, you know But you know some days you just got to keep them in the other room or else you're used to it's a sneeze vest You know, and I'm or I'm crying, you know, and it's not even a sad movie. Hey, you want to you want to solve that? Yeah, you're ready. You put collars on Collars You take them outside and you hold them by the collar and you brush them And you get the you get the don't get the brush as much as the the whisk It's like a whisk with little sharp teeth. So you're a cat person. Yeah, I love my cats

And you and you've had them with that and that takes that heavy dander off them Oh, and then you brush them and you know what you're outside in the sun. They like the sun They love that fucking balcony. They love the balcony. The balcony is their life Sometimes I let them out on the balcony and I sit there and they breathe and they get in the sun The thing is they got a whiff of other fucking cats then they go in the house. No, I'm on the fifth I'm on the fifth. Okay. So you're so they ain't smelling shit. No, that's tremendous. All they're doing is looking down at you know, to hunger Yeah, no, it's great So have them and you brush them with the whisk and then you brush them with the regular brush and your allergies will come

Full effect, but at least you're outside And you know what it's like flogging it's like I go to jiu-jitsu and I can't breathe on the bottom So now when I go to jiu-jitsu, I force myself to get people on top me in two years later Now I last two minutes on the bottom. Wow because I forced myself to go through that anxiety You're not getting penetrated or anything. No, no, no, nobody's penetrating here. This ass is too. This leg weighs 80 pounds And that 150 year old cheek that weighs another 22 pounds gotta hold me down and pick up that cheek It's never That's I'm working on I'm working on mine too because you know, I got a young girlfriend

She's like come on. We got to get that that we got to get that butt back up, you know It's tiny, you know, it's like really small like I had a you I used to have a Cuban ass But now I got like kind of a white boy ass. No, you got older. That's it. He has drags not doing squats anymore Yeah, exactly. You know handsome or any shit, you know, yeah, I know I know But I'm going yeah, I moved to a building where Where the where the and on and on a floor where the gym is 40 feet away So I have no excuse Joey. I have no excuse. I could walk out my door and Stumble into the gym

You know, and then the pool is on the same deck like I this the pool is 70 feet away. The gym is 40 So there's no fucking reason why I why I'm not exercising every day Every day, but you know life is life and you have other stuff to deal with It's 20 minutes of your day. It's funny because you just got off the phone with your mother your mother left you a message Yeah, yeah, so she's got to be kicking 75 right now 77 okay, 77 your dad my dad just Went into the next world Bless his heart. Yeah, we were there in December. He passed on the Jim Morrison's birthday. What was what was his age?

82 So let's face it. You have a good fucking blood. Yeah, you're gonna be around for a while. Help it a little bit I'm much stronger than 10 push ups 10 sit ups Little bit on the thread bomb 52 and I'm 100 pounds overweight. Yes, I went to jujitsu. I didn't feel like I sweat enough So I have two kettlebells in the car because I'm like you I'm Cuban. It's in our jeans You know what some days, bro? I want to work out like a motherfucker, but I don't want four walls around me so I go to North Hollywood Park and I go by a tree and I bring water and you go to fucking five guys by Think by Laurel Canyon when Nick tomorrow when you go to the farmers market on Sunday and you go to Laurel Canyon

There's a sporting there's going in tell them. I want five guys. Yeah 16 kilo. No, tell them No, thank you. Tell them you want a 12 kilo kettlebell. It's 24 pounds. Oh, yeah, and you carry it We don't buy you go that little North Hollywood Park at 10 o'clock. I'm a solito for yourself This isn't for nobody. This is what people understand. This is for you. The phone stays in the car Everything stays in the car. It's 20 minutes for Stephen Bauer You go to North Hollywood Park under a tree because this is what your family did 200 years ago on that fucking island Yeah, there was no jewelry thing. There was gold jam and fucking part of the no you outside. They're untiesable. Remember when fucking What's the guy on TV that goes to different places the Anthony Bourdain the second time he went there

No, not Anthony. Was it Anthony the first time he went and they showed him a Cuban dude that bent metal outside and you know and and and you could hear the guy say me little talk a mile because he thought he was a China a Cuban Bruce Lee. Yeah, and he would burn metal and he was stick nails. I like working on outside Yeah, it's my natural habit if I go to a gym, and I don't see a window We're not gonna last and I like to play tennis. Yeah play racquetball. You're right there. I throw the football Yeah, I love to I love to hit baseballs and and softballs and and field and throw the ball and shit It's just you have to get in the groove You've got to start the start it and then get in the groove or else your home

Fucking around but I do it for my mind. I tell him I don't do it for my body I do it for my mind something and you know over in North Hollywood Park to have a little area with Machines that you can do pull-ups. Yeah and sit-ups and bicycle. It's fucking amazing all body weight exercise Listen, I'm I'm two blocks. No, I'm one block. I can see the park from my the Magnolia part Oh, the Magnolia. Yeah, right there right there where they have the courts, right, but they're painted in blue That's the one right there And they have a sandlot. They have a few like a baseball fields there. There's a kid park there I take my kids and they actually have a pool, but I don't know about that pool. Do I have a pool there?

Yes, yes, they have a place to take the baby there. It's fucking cold Shit it is. Oh my fuck you gotta wait till July. Yeah, but the Pasadena one is very nice But you gotta pull in the building. Yeah, I gotta pull in the boat. The Pasadena one has the USC With a football I don't want to be around no football players. No, no, no, but they have some programs They have swimming programs in the morning that civilians go up and they swim they're running program But you got to remember you got to deal with the fucking 134 at 6 in the morning And that's why I haven't gotten involved with it because that's that being got you gotta get on that 134 at 8 in the morning

So I know people who do it. Frankly Joey, I'm embarrassed I'm embarrassed that from the moment from the time that I've moved into the the building which Overlooks the park. I have not been to the park. I'm embarrassed It's so embarrassing. They sell coffee. Are they so coffee seed or crispy from the park? You could walk over there. There's a new lady who makes cake pops and little coffees there That's a new name, but they're really trying to build it up But that North Hollywood Park Lee how many times have I told you when I'm when I can't feel it post offices right there post office When I want to write comedy and I can't feel it. I take my car

I take the 20 I have 235 pound kettle bells and you take a water and I carry him I walk around with the weights and I put them down when I get tired You buy yourself an eight pound ball just a ball. Yeah, and you do push-ups against the tree Your shirt good dirty and you know what the whole thing people pay thousands of dollars They got a suntan you get the best suntan in the world because you're sweating and the sun's burning your natural oil off you You there for 20 minutes you go home. You like what the fuck where was I in Jamaica and there's a tree So you sit next to the tree the tree is where you do the sit-ups you hold your legs up to the tree I make a line and I throw the kettle bell there and I start swinging. There's somebody right now

That's saying I saw him Sunday Sunday. I got off a plane in Sacramento. I was free I only did cardio all weekend. I said, you know what I want to get my heart pumping I got in the car the baby fell asleep. I'm in the North Hollywood. I went under a tree I took a water. I took the eight pound ball. I went under a tree. I did Sacramento no right there right when I came back to Sacramento. I took the 20 35 pounder I did squats with the kettle bell in front of the five sets of 15. I'll teach you baby two years old from 51 So please we both have issues and then I did ten to five sets of 12 to 15 swings That almost gave me a heart attack and then I did three sets of cleans where you pick them up by and you put them back

By I did three sets of 20 push-up thing It's 40 minutes 35 minutes and I burn 400 calories probably I get in the car and right around the corner There's a gym. Okay. Oh, yeah, okay. Listen to me guys if you go on Ventura if you go on Lancashire Yeah, and you pass Magnolia and you headed towards Universal City. There's a dance studio. You always see beautiful girls coming out of there Next to the dance studio. There's a fucking gym. Yeah, I know it I know it is to cross you from the movie theater pull into that from the whole seven pull into that fucking parking lot No, no, no down more. Oh, you're passing Magnolia. Oh, and there's a world gym. Oh, you're talking about 24-hour fitness

No, no, hey, it's across the street, right? It's like right across the street It's like a it looks like almost like a one-floor right is a one-floor gym. It's open till midnight But back there is two Thai ladies There's a Thai lady and her husband and her daughter and her son They eat it you get them to walk on your back. No, bro You go in there you fucking five bucks and get a natural squeeze juice or green tea with espresso a little protein powder No, no, they're being a look at that and chocolate syrup. She makes protein powder milkshakes She has green tea dragging green tea that you drink it and you see the weight fall off you as it goes down

She says she lost 40 pounds drinking one cup of this dragon green tea It's like doing meth it gets you going, but you don't feel it. You don't feel it your body's So she's got dragon green tea in there this bro when I tell you I wouldn't tell you you're my brother You're gonna give me the address. No right down Lancashire world gym. You're going to back You're dead wise I was walking in Cosby kid was walking out They all a lot of people work out in there the guy in the morning is very good for actors But next to it. There's a little coffee shop behind the gym It's open till fucking midnight and they sell Thai salad

I guess that one in there how to run out because they're making some with curry. I don't fuck. I'm allergic to curry I don't like smelling curry. You told me I smell like hummus the other night We got me dizzy going down fucking Laurel Canyon. I can't eat hummus and get in the car You know cuz then you smell like the people would be it I said to you beneath hummus you go. Yeah, no. Yes, you go. I ate some hummus So how do I fucking know what did you eat tonight for dinner? Would you ask me almost every night and then I said I told you I had some hummus. He'll go Oh, that's you smell like hummus. I smell that's not right before it. There's no

Yeah, but you gotta be choosy with your hummus. Yeah, you can eat with the Israeli which is cool. Oh, yeah, or you can eat But they eat in the desert No, I I only fuck with Israeli hummus. No, he had some shit. He this guy got He got food poisoning Because he went on yelp, I did not get food poisoning. He gave me a strong fucking edible and I puked That's a giant edible by the way. No, it's not even an edible. It looks like a fucking starfish. No, it's thousand milligrams So we each eat with a wing and we get fucked up for 13 hours I think I'll save it for for my musician. You could save for your musician son

But I think I had one of those ones. I think I had one with him I think I had one with him one night and uh, and we were like writing music and composing and suddenly he was like five in the morning And I Very good for music very good for creative with coffee and a couple cigars or a cigarette. You're often fucking running Let me tell you and no smoke. No, no smoke. Let me tell you what I got. Let me tell you what would happen with me I re hooked up with my uncle in glendale He's 76 years old when you touch my uncle. He's solid Wow, 76 he walks five miles a day at griffin park

Then he goes to his bar on His bar is on western and vermont It's jeffison all the way down there. Well, you he's the doorman on the weekends At this fucking bar the mexican bar where he sells to just illegal people and they come over the border to drink And they got no green card. That's where they go and they pay seven dollars a heineken and seven dollars a budweiser My uncle's a rapist Fucking they they have like an old bowler now They turn into a dance hall and he brings up bands from mexico

Who do you think's rolling around the floor with them on the weekends? My uncle my uncle hits the fucking back My uncle's had cancer for 10 years and he's living because he eats organically, bro So he was telling me about it. My my mother had nine brothers and eight brothers and sisters. It was nine all of them There's only two of them that died The rest of them all in there The ones that stayed in cuba and the ones that went to venezuela. Oh, yeah They live in venezuela They live like they're 80 and they go around they ride bicycles when I heard that

It inspired me. I'm trying to lose weight. I eat better. I don't eat bread. I don't eat Meating whole grain pasta. Yeah, you try. I yeah, listen. We cannot eat on picaleo like we used to no No, you cannot definitely for sure and the and the hardest thing for me the challenge for me Is to not eat the food that looks good because I already know That I do better with like no gluten I do better But I do I do make exceptions my girlfriend. She's she's disciplined so

She's gonna, you know, she's gonna live forever. But the point is that I I'm on it and it and I've lost 20 pounds Not from exercise just for me eating better Now I got to start exercising Work out and like tone everything up, but I'm still you know, I mean I'm still strong, but Well, you said something interesting earlier that you have to I forget how you worded it, but it was like you have to start uh, you got to get in the groove get in the groove Exactly. Yeah, or I didn't work out for the first 25 years of my life

But now if I miss a day or two It feels like I can feel it and I feel bad And they don't even the workout you were talking about You're 100 pounds overweight, but you've been working out for a while like some people like I've been talking with this guy on twitter He just started working out thinking about doing 40 minutes Is unimaginable. So even if you do Five minutes 10 minutes. It's better than doing nothing. I was in Sacramento. Why would I call you insane? Do a push-up? No, I told you the Sacramento story where the last time I was at that club

Was the first time I ever got an elliptical machine I was hitting the bell Oh, yeah The bicycle when I lift weights and I had a guy at the wire and say I said Joey get on the elliptical machine I go, that's not for me One day by myself, it's it's you know, when you're a fat dude, you have insecurities Also, so that was the elliptical there was an elliptical and there was a treadmill Yeah, and it was by myself and that's all they have at this gym in Sacramento

And I got on the elliptical and I did seven minutes And I was scared like I thought my heart was gonna blow up But I went back the next time I did nine and I went back to third night did 12 and ever since then I've been the elliptical now This week I went on and did 40 both days like nothing. Is it do you move stuff? Do you do? Yes, you move it. You move it. Absolutely. That's the one that's like a ski Right, that's a ski and they have programs that are fucking tremendous. The program Yeah, but you have to be able to understand. Right. No, no, no, no They had the fucking things right there walking hiking. Okay, you want to go to Bolivia and walk the mountains with Sosa?

It has it right there You press the button it takes you up the hill it monitors your heart rate It monitors, uh, I usually go sometimes and I have a heart rate for the cell phone I do that. I have a heart rate for John sent me. Yeah, the heart. Yeah, so you have to watch Do you get a little bit closer? We can't even you're burning calories And you're burning calories, but you're also getting your heart rate up for For a few minutes a day, you know, and that's it's called aerobic exercise. Yeah My dad was really into that. But then, you know, he just he he got hurt

He got hurt playing paddle, you know Racket ball or squash Or squash as they call it in Miami. He had squash and uh, and then he couldn't he couldn't work out and you know, because he had that Normal kind of diet that normal Cuban diet At six feet tall, he's still putting on a stomach like this You know, he put on a big a big stomach tummy and it was impeding his breathing That's what it does to me. That's why I gotta lose every 10 pounds. I lose I feel I breathe better

You breathe better. Let me ask you something. What'd you eat at the Cuban joint? Yes. Oh my god. What did you eat? What place? What's the portal? I went to the portals. Yeah Uh, we got her Paul and her mom got Cuban sandwiches, but I had pun and the steak mumbi steak Oh my god And it was like Marinated steak With like these crispy potato sticks on the bottom and like this garlic. Yeah. Oh my god I love this and the tomato and you bite into that motherfucker. Yeah, I see that I would eat that every day except that now

I don't eat white bread. You can't eat white bread. Oh and the bread and the Cuban bread is incredible It was soft. So you ate the what what what what did you have with it? Nothing. Nothing. I wanted and that's kind of what I wanted to talk about Yes, I should in theory like I shouldn't have had that sandwich But I wanted to get cook headers. I wanted to get potato balls. Yeah, you did the flan. You did phenomenal Trust me. You did way better. Yeah, you had yeah, that was difficult. Do me a favor go back to 19 When you got here from Cuba what to let the people at home know No, I got here three I three like I did but let the people know when you were six just so they don't think I'm lying to

Break down a Cuban diet and then I'll tell you my dad. What's for breakfast at your house for breakfast at my house We would have You know, my mom and we were poor like poor My dad was a pilot and he was working freight like cargo and he was also Working in in Africa like he was with missionary service. He wasn't getting paid. Shit. You know, he wasn't making money He was with the CIA except, you know, and uh, and he was trying to help, you know, the Help Africa not fall to communism. Basically. That's what he was doing. He's one of those Cuban pilots And uh, he couldn't get hired by the airline because he didn't have a college education

Or or American military training So he's like he could be the greatest pilot in the united states, but he couldn't get hired by pan american But even pilots on airlines don't make much money. I've heard no, but they did eventually Eventually they got there But but let me tell you he he'd come home With nothing and he'd be gone for three weeks or four weeks So my dad was the stranger the big guy that would come home all fucked fucking mad at the world I didn't really like him. You know, I grew to love him

But he was always pissed off and my mom was existing We were existing my little brother and myself on a on a public school education salary Public school educator salary, which in those days was what whatever they made, you know, a year, you know 11 000 a year, you know, I mean nothing they were making a thousand dollars a month or something made in Miami Where were you living in Miami in west miami in south miami south west miami westchester westchester Westchester coral gables coral part of the falls you stay in the falls that's further south And it's nicer than where I lived I lived in the suburbs, which was near where they built the university fiu, which is now a great great university

But eventually I was able to go to the university of miami also on a student loan Okay, you know because I was ethnic because I had a I was from Cuban background So I somebody helped me apply for this Cuban loan this loan Which I eventually had to pay back once I came out to hollywood. I had to pay them back eventually and But but my mom would somehow put together a diet that had meat and and eggs and and potatoes and plantains So we would have breakfast that was like eggs and and bacon and

You know like all kinds of stuff. The only problem with my diet was that my mama My mom didn't introduce us to vegetables because we didn't like them and we were we really really And my mom wasn't about to like be like the the strict enforcer. She was she was a kid herself She was you know, 22 years old And my brother and I were you know, three or four or five six years old and she was going to school She got her education at in in at date south at that date community college And then she went to the university of Miami and she graduated with honors But that didn't help her her fucking teachers pay

That didn't help her make any more money. And so we always were just surviving just surviving and we'd look at other kids Who'd have like everything and we'd be like fuck And even my dad at one point in the 70s when his pilot friends started taking jobs Underground jobs to fly a plane from here to Colombia pick something up and come back from Colombia And make $50,000 and my dad had never ever seen $50,000 You know, but his friends were getting rich and he'd say like I can't do it I can't do it because if I get pinched if I go to jail You guys grow up like fucking orphans, you know, it's better to be poor

So he never took that chance and I swear to god at least 10 of his friends got rich in the cocaine trade In Miami and he didn't he stayed that guy, you know And so I always was a little bit like resentful like fuck dad just one time, you know but he's you know For what it's worth. He you know, he kept his his uh integrity or and uh, he didn't he didn't bend in that area And uh, and we may do, you know, I had jobs in high school and after high school and college And then I went into the theater and then I started getting and then I got kebasa usa

So I I started making a living And being able to like turn the money over to my parents Do you think being less well off Helped you as an adult because I I grew up in a rich town, but I was not poor but not anywhere near that And I see some of my friends who I grew up with who were Super wealthy like the wealthiest of the wealthy and they can't get jobs and and all that stuff And so do you think that might have well, there's some things to be said about about creating a work or being instilled By your by your parents by the people that raise you a work ethic

Right and and and an understanding of money and and of what it is to not have money And and what it is to earn money, you know in order to live comfortably not to be fucking rich But to live comfortably and I and I'm saying this is someone who I believe, you know It's like if you can be rich fucking go for it Right, you know what I mean and and and all I know is that the money I've made making, you know making movies and television I live not like an asshole, you know, I don't buy Ferraris and I you know, I've never had a Ferrari, you know Which doesn't make it. I'm not saying guys who do that are not assholes, but I'm just saying I'm not that way I just like to be able to take my girl or take my mom or take my brother out and have and pay for dinner and and

Or take my girl to to the mall and buy, you know, a thousand dollars worth of fucking cool shit, you know for her Or buy myself three pairs of really nice jeans, you know and two nice shirts, but I've never bought a car Never Joey never I've never had That car, you know, and I've had the money But I'm just not that guy because my dad wasn't, you know, and maybe it's a flaw I don't think so my dream my entire dream is to make enough money Where for average things like dinner. I don't have to look at the price

I got it Exactly, there's nothing worse than looking at the price on the menu. Okay. I can get the $50 steak I'll get the $20 chicken. That's not that bad. But my goal is to not have to do that. Oh, exactly I don't need a Ferrari. I'd like it. But that's that's my goal And I have friends and I have friends who are that rich who are that rich where they Where they never let you pick up a check, you know, I like to pick up a check because I can now But oh, you know, if you go out to dinner with if you're one of Eight people, you know, you and you're and you're and you're a woman and you're you're one of like four or five couples

And you're and your your buddy is picking up the check always never lets you like contribute or anything You know, they're they they're okay, you know, like they're doing better than you Once you make it without money for like when I was 25 and 24 I was like any other 24 year old man. Yeah, I'm one of them Ferrari testarosa Yeah, yeah, I want to go to bars and snort blow and yeah blow coke rocks of chicks assholes I wanted to do all that craziness Then I came to the conclusion one day that it wasn't going to be me I wasn't going to be that big drug dealer. I wasn't going to be that right and you weren't going to do prison time

And I did it. No, I ended up doing I tried to kidnap somebody and I forgot I tried to do a tumbe Fucking yeah. Oh, please. Wow. Oh, yeah. He left the voicemail What he left a kid I kidnapped the other day left the voicemail because I had him called to the podcast and I apologized You kidnapped him in tumbe from tumbe that went back, you know, like that And my machine gun and no, no, no, it was not we took it from one room to the other So in Scarface when they take Tony From the hotel. Yeah into the into the bathroom. Yeah, that's kidnapping. Oh, that's it. That's kidnapping kidnapping It's not I call your your wife and say I got Steven here. Give me 50,000

That's what we thought when I turned myself in and they told me that I go. What are you talking about kidnapping? I didn't call nobody. Yeah, but bringing somebody from one room if I get you right here We're gonna go get in there against your will. Yeah, that's true. That's kidnapping. So That's what happened. You know, I was a young kid and whatever bro. I was consumed. It was the 80s And I had grown up around that I had grown up around I didn't see that's why that's that's what that's what that's the only difference is is what is how you Is what you see when you're when you're a little boy what you see, you know, as you become an adolescent What do you see? I saw shit. Joey. I was the most the biggest greenhorn

Like I was the most naive little boy And and adolescent too. I mean as a teenager. I was fucking naive I mean I had this girl pull me under a bridge once and with a bunch of like hippies And and make me smoke pot because I liked her and I was like, wow, you know I was like 15 or something 14 or something and that was the first time we even saw drugs You know and and I didn't like it because I was scared to death, you know But I mean I didn't go into that life and there were kids in my high school and I'm talking about 1970 You know 1972 or

Or, you know 1970 or whatever it's the middle of the 60s and they're already like Cuban kids in Miami who were like selling blow Right after high school in college or right after and they were getting rich and I was like I was busy like with the rowing team and Football and trying to get into some girls pants. That's it when I went I didn't grow up in Miami per se But I went to Miami every summer growing up My godfather lived in 130th and 100th in the falls by monkey jungles He was a construction guy. So what he did is he'd go into an area and he'd started from scratch

He built all that in the 50s. Yeah. Yeah, so he'd knock it down from scratch Then he'd build one house and he'd move in there and he'd build the other four And then while he lit he built the other four him and his three kids lived in that house And they had Lafinka every time I went to Miami. They had a different house But the biggest development they had Was 130th 130th avenue. He was a baseball coach. We used to go to red barry's baseball Camp no, no, we did everything everything in the world. You did as a kid in Miami We would stay at his house for two weeks

Then the last week my mother would get a whole room at the newport or hawaiian isles Oh A newport beach and then he would come with the boat and we'd swim out And then we'd pull us on the boat and then he'd get fishing and he'd cook a fish for a kid from new york city I don't have to tell you my cousins feet would wouldn't burn They could walk on the fucking concrete like nothing 100 degree day I would put my little pussy new york city feet on the I couldn't walk to the beach and shit. I had to pick me up. It was I would get blisters. That was horrible

But I I I swat on the other hand he had grown up with my father So while his wife Kind of knew and his kids knew nothing He had the house on 130th avenue and then at night Right after mission impossible on channel six at one o'clock, right when they played the the the the spangled in it The star-spangled look at it, you know, exactly He would go keep the link one for a penny and we'd go and we'd go a lot about gita And he'd buy a little beer and a gallon of milk and eggs for breakfast in the morning

And then we'd go to a dock and he'd get his boat And we'd go out for a couple miles where this one we were kids No, but where but what you remember where the dog was? No, we go to a dog and he had his own boat and he'd go out Probably biscuit biscuit and then biscuit bang prickles a weed and he put them on the boat No, oh my god, then we go to a warehouse. This is when I was 10 119 no, oh, fuck yeah, and then what happened was not the house before 130th avenue But the house before that the son of before that when I was eight. He was crazy Little fool was a real fucking cuban. That's your oh, that was Mike came out. He saw and my mother baptized her daughter

So to the cubans, that's gigantic. Yeah in the cuban tradition or godfather when something goes down No questions. They got to come grab the kid in Marlino. That's the godfather Marlina That's that's that's something that's huge in the catholicism the cuban mentality of living so I used to go down and he'd say don't say nothing In the mornings, he'd give me 50 bucks, but he didn't sleep at seven. He'd go right back to his construction Nobody ever explained to you what that what those bales of I knew what they were How'd you know because my mother and my father so in new york. Yeah in my house. My mother's motto was me the oh

Don't say nothing. So he's the one that slipped. See my in 1966 I just turned three And they had that the bar was doing great The bar was doing in new york and new jersey new jersey In union city. Well, the bar was doing great. It's a saturday night. They're doing great at the bar they're drinking and one thing leads to another and Rollo fool that was his name also lived in union city at the time this is before his kids

He lived in union city up the corner from us and him and my dad Man the empathy They were selling coke in 1966. Please listen to the story. Holy shit. So My mother had the bar they had already sold in 66 They had already sold the restaurant that put them on the map. It was called a lo k It was just a cuban restaurant by uh, uh, union by not union hill high school But if anybody 39th and new york avenue, that's all cubanism. That's all cubanism Eklut 38

Eklut 38 was owned by willy randy willy randy Was the dude who they were talking about and godfather too with the big dick in cuba. That was his grandfather He also had a big dick. So he did that show where they tie him up his dick would come out and people would faint Right around the corner from let the cortina. He's on facebook another cuban kid His father was like there were two cuban doctors. You either had the cortinas or the devaya But the vibe you could don't get a house call after five because i'm at the aposito And he'd be over your house trying to shoot you with the penicillin. No. Oh my god. Oh my god. This is this is real Shit in new jersey. We had 19 from 1955

to today not till by 1987 Union city was the second biggest cuban population in the country right right right fucking craziness right So here's my mother rolofo rolofo had a big deal the next day So he didn't go to the bar my mother and my dad and all these people celebrating they're doing bumps No, it's 66. So they're doing fucking. This is the shit that came right from bogota. No middleman So they're doing bumps. My mother and my father go in the bathroom And they scoop a big bump

My father my mother does one and she walks out of the bathroom. My dad does two And he walks out of the bathroom, but my mother says she's got dizzy And she wanted to puke heroin So she started puking But then she wanted to tell my dad she puked it before so they laced the pure heroin with poison So my dad did the fucking blow And he just died so they kept calling redolpho and saying rolofo

Like I go talk about something's going on with manolo fucking come to the bar and he kept saying Fuck you guys. You guys are just messing with me. I'm not going nowhere. I have this big deal tomorrow. Bye And he kept hanging up. So in the back of his head, he always thought he could save my dad So that's what that poor bastard lived with you understand me. He paid he fucking died So my dad died they took him to that night that night. No. Oh my god. Yeah 1966 And his name was manolo manolo come away his real his real name was manolo Diaz But he was from come away So they called him manolo come away and he fucking killed over with us with a hot shot

With a hospital with a hot shot and then at the hospital he died But since he was the first cuban committee, man, they never put down that he died of a heroin This there was a heart attack heart attack my my family never collected the insurance policy But to make everybody cool they had to send them back to cuba So my mother took them via mexico right back to cuba. They shipped them to cuba in 66 It cost them almost 50,000 It was for fidel to let them bury him and come away and that's the fucking story And you grew up without a dad and I grew up without a dad

So but this guy never my mother always told me your dad died of a heart attack We're driving back from one of those drug bail. Yeah, he tells me because you know, I always feel bad about your dad So he was always like my dad to be the guy in miami Growing up. We're all for was a fucking badass motherfucker. Wow. Wow. It's story basically grew up in my hand. You know, yeah, you got it Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna help you write your book and then you help me write mine. Yeah It's uh, it's really interesting like I tell leasing times. I'm sad my mother passed but I'd be 600 pounds Because because my mother made that's the yeah, of course the house we tack. How are you? Oh, yeah, we tack all right with the eggs on top with the eggs on top and the white rice over white rice

Oh, yeah, and you slice it when you slice it this way the things And the yolk you mix it with it's fucking disgusting. Listen, man I've been going to la carreta in in miami every whenever I'm in miami I go on saturdays with my dad and his cuban pilot friends and these guys have an accumulated fucking knowledge and history of the wars the congo wars the biafra wars in africa Because they were cuban pilots and they were They worked wherever they could they got hired to fly crazy missions In fucking africa and in greece and you know, wherever there was strife

We were wherever the cia was trying to stop some communist takeover and these guys Were there we're all there and so I I'm part of that when I go Not anymore because he passed in december the rest the rest the rest of the soul And but they loved him because he's charismatic and my dad was like bebo. They call them bebo And bebo capitan and capitan eccomandante or capitan capitan and uh, and so and they know him at la carreta And every every saturday there we are, you know at noon at the big table with five cuban pilots And they're all cool and fucking

Wild guys, you know, but really really cool guys. They survived all that But my dad just didn't have my dad was the strongest and the biggest You know physically, but he had more physical problems because he He had such a great appetite of life That he drank too much and he drank and he ate too much You know what I mean and uh, and but he exercised a lot, but It just caught up with him. It caught up with him. And so like literally like Literally seven months ago. I was at at lunch with them at la carreta telling stories about fucking the congo

About about africa and in the 60s The congo war 66 when you were in jersey They were and I was in miami like a little boy like, you know trying to get to to to the stadium to see uh The dinner key to see the doors and I didn't get to go And that's where jim Morrison got busted for obscenity because supposedly he was trying to take his dick out and show the audience But nobody but nobody ever proved that and then poor jim Morrison You know later on dies and and I remember we the first time my dad took us to europe First time I got out of miami

We went to europe and we went to madrid because he had a real job flying for an airline Like a charter airline and we went to madrid and it was the most amazing fucking experience at 14 and I remember That then the that I would collect I would because I was a baseball fan and it was baseball season it was april already in may and And I would pick up them the new york herald tribune In that's published in powers There's nothing in english because I had to see the baseball scores every day

In a while I was in madrid because madrid is fucking they don't give a fuck about american sports in in spain And and but by the way madrid is like one of the most beautiful and cosmopolitan cities in the world Except that they smoke too much. They smoke the women smoke too much But I heard it's getting better But the best food in the world Okay, other than argentina, of course How about panama? Panama haven't been I had panamas got some badass food. Really? I have to have a fucking ceviche market

Oh, yeah, I know that and I've heard that but lima lima too lima peru. I heard this from new yorkers. Oh, yeah Best chinese food they've ever had. Oh, I've had the best chinese food. I ever had no the best chinese food I ever had was in peru from the peruvian chinese Because they were brought there to build the railroads and they invented this thing called chifa And it's like peruvian ceviche Fucking chinese wanton mother fucking want, you know, like like noodles and you know, of course I can't eat any of that shit anymore. That's okay. It was nice all that lasted

So so anyway, so anyway, so my dad took us and and and one day In madrid, I get the new york hill tribute. I run down the hotel. I'm 14 years old And I pick up the newspaper and on the fucking front cover is A picture of jim moorsen in his bathtub In a bathtub in paris this just happened while I was in madrid You know, what is it 200 300 miles away madrid in paris? And jim moorsen died of a heart attack at 27 And bueno

Who dies of a heart attack at 27 he he ingested a lot of stuff and what happened was And they'll never say it. They'll never admit it, you know, but there's a lot of stuff, you know I mean, he was buried in france. He's buried in france and people like They're all over the fucking cemetery. Was that your man? That's your that's No, it's just that I I really I really love the doors music and I I did under I did have like any insight into into jim because of because he was so Restless, he was a very very intellectual guy But he was really fucked up about his background because he was the son of an admiral in the amer in the navy

His father was steve moorsen who was admiral steve moorsen And so so jim went to florida state Which is near me, you know tallahassee my my both my brothers went to to florida state and and jim went to california and Became a hippie and he started singing writing lyrics You know and so and I had that sound I could do that, you know And I could do that sound and when When when I came to los angeles everybody and I had long hair and everybody say wow you've got to play jim moorsen

You've got to play jim moorsen because I looked like a little bit like him I didn't have the blue eyes, you know, but his eyes were never really really very blue. They were kind of red You know, but but the thing is That when when I did scarface People said now you have the opportunity to do jim jim moorsen talk to brian de palma and I did I talked to brian and brian told me straight out brian loved me Scarface manolo, he'd be like no, I'm doing it with john travolta We like john travolta is gonna play jim moorsen

We like no, I should play jim moorsen and and I would perform all over hollywood In parties I would get a fucking bottle of vodka and I'd be swilling it and I would perform and people would put music on They put records We used to have records then and they put the record on with the doors Music and I jump and I'd be up on a fucking table me me steep me iraqi from miami, right? But I'd be on a table going, you know the day destroys the night Night divides the day Try to run try to hide break off through to the other side

You know, I'd be doing that and people would be like fuck you've got to play jim moorsen And then what happens? I do scarface and I have all kinds of opportunities And and oliver stone takes over the project Who wrote scarface? He reads he wrote scarface and he was like he liked he liked me a lot and he gave me two other scripts to do To to try to get done because he couldn't get he couldn't get hired as the director He wanted to make these movies and he said he said steve You're gonna be really big after scarface get these movies done platoon and born on the 4th of july

Because you're perfect for both roles and I was I had my head up somebody's butt or something, you know, I don't know what I was doing I was lazy and I was Having a good time and I was with melanie and we were just living life, you know as a roller coaster And so I didn't really jump on that. I wasn't thinking like a producer You know like a lot of like a few of my peers have done like george like george cloney has done He's right away. He took his fame and he turned it into making movies. Sean Sean penn

He's done that he right away started wanting to direct films And I was just like no, I'm gonna coast. I'm gonna have fun for a while And then I'll direct some movies, you know, then I'll make some movies And but I had these opportunities and I I just I didn't really want want to move on them because it was a lot of work and I was too busy living life You see what I mean? And so that's That's that period Oliver stone got the rights to the gem more to the to the doors movie

And he started holding auditions and right away people said like you got to see steven You have to but I had just done a job A movie where my hair was really short. So I went in to meet with him and he went manny Manny, you're not gonna play Jim Morrison. Come on. I I I love you, but you're not Jim Morrison I'm like, yes, I am You should hear what people say You should hear me perform and he goes, but look at you. You're manny And I was just like fuck and that same day

Val who I knew from New York City Val Kilmer I knew him. He had just graduated from Juilliard and uh, melanie and I introduced him to share Who they got together And val was a cool guy. He's an interesting guy and and val showed up and he had long hair Yeah, his hair is blonde, but he had long hair and he was there like barefoot at the audition

with long hair And uh, and when he saw me, he was like, oh steve. Don't go go get out of here. Get out of here, man This is my chance. This is my chance to play Jim Morrison. He goes I've seen you. I've seen a video that you did as Jim and I said what video and he said people are strange That's you, right? I said, no, that's Jim Morrison He thought I had done this video that was recently circulating about That that's like home movies from the doors Where you see Jim Morrison with long hair and he's got glass. He's got sunglasses on and he's and he's riding a bicycle in venice

in venice beach And when you're strange, yeah P faces come out of the rain and and so So val said, oh man, come on. Don't do this to me. I have a really good shot at this and I said Well, look at me. I have fucking no hair. I have short hair And and Oliver doesn't think I'm you know, I'm Jim at all And so when it came down to it, they were like the producers were like, well We could put a wig on him and and he could do it

And then but for some reason I think val had a movie that I just that had just gotten on out and uh, and he was kind of hot at the time And top gun of course, which I turned down By the way, I turned down his role ice Iceman I turned down his role because I thought I don't want to be the asshole in this movie He's the asshole And I was like that Joey. All right, that's how I was. They offered that to me

You can be ice. You can't be wolf man. You can't be the other guy. You can't be uh, the other guy Tom's Tom cruise his role Tom cruise his role, right? You can be ice The bad ass, you know the asshole And I said, uh, I don't want to do that And which one were you offered for the army movie with Sean Penn? No, the the platoon I got offered. Well, well, well, well, what happened was that Willems roll the the Elias sergeant Elias the good sergeant

And you know who was the bad sergeant Tom Bairinger? They put together a deal. It was myself as Elias Tom Bairinger Not Tom Bairinger. Um, uh, Michael Paray remember Michael Paray Michael Paray Michael Paray who has just done Eddie and the cruisers Remember Eddie and the cruisers? Yes I just saw him at the water brothers and I saw him with cowboy boots on walking fast. He's a sweet guy. He's a sweet Bro, when I saw Eddie and the cruisers I thought he was gonna take superstar superstar. I thought he was gonna take the only thing he couldn't do is sing

He didn't see he didn't sing that part John Cafferty sang it But it doesn't matter. He was fucking beautiful incredible and he had a great voice He had like a deep voice like this and he's a sweet guy Michael And and Michael was gonna play sergeant Barnes Tom Bairinger's role and I was gonna play Elias the Indian the the half Indian Roll the good the good sergeant Willems roll And you know who was playing the boy

Emilio Not Charlie Sheen Emilio Estevez That was the that was the cast And they almost got it made and they the financing fell through And so all of it was like really depressed and he didn't get it done And I took another job which was sort of Gideon and sort of Gideon Where I had the lead which was remade later as munich

With Eric Bana playing my role, right? By Spielberg, but sort of Gideon if you see it, it's fucking badass with rod steiger. I got to work Rod steiger and michael york Yes, yeah You know, so I went to israel. I got my whole that's how I got my whole education with israel and my connection to israel and um But I missed Platoon when you were in israel. Did you meet any directors? Yeah, I met some directors. You met the great lisa. Yeah. Did you meet him? Who?

No, he calls me director from Israel. That's how I introduce the people. That's the rest of mizrael and people always look I'm an ish mob. It's a dude. How you doing? See who you think you're dealing with you think I show up with half fucking I'm sure but people would you blood them? You fucking it is interesting when you uh Like sometimes I'll have that before the movie like facts It is interesting when you find out like who could have played what roles and Because people don't really get to hear about them. So they love all that you got you're gonna have to you have to you have to

Text my girlfriend tell her that I've taken more than 20 minutes Because she thinks and like we'd be done right away We'd be done in 20 minutes. Just text her and say I'm sorry. I'm holding them over Because because we're talking about life Well, you were you were talking earlier about uh about the Cuban food you guys used to have Yeah, we started late with holding them over just a few more minutes Uh, but trust me Looking you know, I like to eat and I had my mom as a great cook

After dating a Mexican girl and going to Cuban food a few times with Joey and then yesterday I would have been 900 pounds if I had a spanish mother Oh, yeah, the amount of food they cook and how good it is Lee. I listen. I've been to like 235 238 Okay, now that I'm eating pretty well, and I'm still not real. I'm not that disciplined, but I'm pretty good um I weigh to this morning. I weighed 198. That's awesome. It took how long it took three months four months That's cool. Yeah, no, it's in it only because I because the bread cutting down on the white bread

Even wheat bread, you know, I don't eat mostly I don't eat wheat But if there's if somebody serves up like green with the mastros the other night You know and they brought a basket of bread and I'm like, oh man, I gotta have I gotta taste it She's and she's like you don't have to you really don't have to It's not good for you and I go I'm gonna I'm gonna taste it. Okay with with some butter I always said when I was growing up my mom when the morning she would make there was no cereal in my house There was no cakes in my house was always three eggs Five pieces of fucking bread with butter thick Cuban bacon not that skinny asca maya

thick fucking slabs And my mom would make like two Like two fucking plantains chop chop chop chop chop like there'd be 24 fucking, you know plantains There and and I had to move fast because my brother My brother Ernie he can eat and then my adopted brother victor victor victor who's an actor victor rivers He came into our household when he was 17 We had we sort of adopted him when he his family broke up and I and I brought him home And he was a senior and I was I was a junior

And we offered him a place to live And and he became my brother but that motherfucker could eat and eat fast And so my mom would put down the plantains in the middle and we'd each have our plate And I'd be like eating and talking and telling stories and these motherfuckers would be grabbing all my shit grabbing all I mean like can they save me like three Three plantains you guys can have the rest of the like 17 other plantains like can I save me like And then my mom would put down like one more steak and she'd say like split that between the three of you And I'll be like oh

fuck These guys are so aggressive humans love this steak because of the skinny steak. Oh the skinny steak is but it's it's called It's called a a Palomia Palomia and also the other media they slice it in the butterfly and churrasco and churrasco But I'm a palomia. Oh, you're all I'm an old school palomia with white rice black beans and fried fucking bananas I will stab you in the neck for that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll stab you red beans. That's even better With some white rice and some raw onions over the steak We're a little parsley and shit. What what what what was some natilla? My mom would make natilla over fucking

Entomans pound cake this fuck. Oh, you have no idea this custard Listen this custard that they make is like a cinnamon custard. Okay that had like everything It's eggs milk and butter and sugar But if you eat this on lift weights, you'll become Sergio Lever Like that's it plain and simple that and uh, it was natilla and flan in my house the thick fucking, you know, the Puerto Ricans over here Mephongo. Oh, Mephongo. They're flying. They're flying over there. Is that thick coconut. Wait, you've been to that place? Yeah, I take what I do is I have my wife make the pork chops on the grill Cuban style and I come over here and for six bucks I get

I pick up the Mephongo. I pick up. No, I pick up the red beans and the tortonis Why am I gonna make a mess at the house? They make tortonis two hours an order. No, no, no Yes, they do you get three orders of those and two medullos like like tortonis tortonis And they got two coca-ricos you take that to go you make the steak at the house You haven't been in Miami recently, you know, they have this place called a palacio de jugos On on core way And it's open air and it's got tables outside and they have Every kind of juice every kind of fruit right papaya and and futabón buying everything and they make juices

But they also have a counter Where they're constantly cooking and churning out and putting shit down And so you have you're looking at this stuff that you can choose to eat to sit down and eat bacalao Like like fituras de bacalao Oh, I love all that shit You know like everything and then they have two different like bins for For the big tortonis that are this big like this big they're yellow

They're like hawaiian and it's the new thing for humans in Miami. Okay, they're yellow and with salt and it's incredible You can get like four of them take them home and like you feel like you have people eating out of your hands Okay, and then and then they have Los maduros, right? They have they have the maduros. Oh, and I like the maduros a little bit burnt I don't like them like yeah, you like them burnt. I like them with a little bit of black. Yeah, I like that gooey You know, I don't like them that gooey. I like I love flying out of Miami international because I know I'm gonna take something to go Something to go. I will load up 16 Cuban sandwiches. I will upgrade it to first class I don't even have a cook them on the thing. I bring them rolled up and I cook them at home

And you cook them at home nice and burnt. That's how you do it. You bring them raw right at the airport They saw it First flight of the day first flight of the fucking day. Of course right there. Sure. Wait now. Tell me about mohungo Okay, so you go at the house. You get a palpalo mea steak. Yeah, whatever Yeah, you're gonna cook it you call the walk right before you start cooking Do I want two orders of white rice with red beans? It's all they got the red beans the little potatoes in them, but they have the and they have tortones They don't have the big hawaiian ones. No, but they have the stories you over

And maduro. So for 12 bucks you eat like a fucking soldier You get two and two once a month once a month. That's it. No, no, I don't I can't do it easy I can't do it either. I'm living on fucking brown rice. No, no And it's not even that exciting but paul's mom loves Cuban crackers. Those things are delicious with cheese and ham on those We just had we bought them at portals. So we just had them playing Listen bro, my mom had the bond 29th and burglar and down the corner 30 yards with a place where nandes is cuban But this isn't the 60s

This guy had one foot that was shorter than the other with the left one So the thing was higher. So when you walked by The sandwiches were already cut. They had swiss cheese ham The pickle and mayonnaise. So you walk all they already cut they already cut and you go and then there's what do you want? I'm two cuban sandwiches. He'd take the pork right off and the ham because they have a ham and a pork And they put down the sandwich. They fuck They take a thing of butter spray butter Motherfucker, they bother the top of the sandwich and then they put it and they flip it. Yeah, but they put the click the thing

Press it. They don't have an idea. What about either of my may with a papaya milkshake? Oh, that's a little bit of salt in that motherfucker. You got to put the salt in that motherfucker, right? Who's a sandwich? Do you think we're better yours or the one on chef? The one I fuck chef chefs are punk compared to what I got in my my fucking mental In your memory, listen, dog. They make the cubans make a sandwich. Uh, what's the ham the cuban hamburger? It's half Lee you would move to Miami. I have no I can't even take it from my it's it's like white castle On steroids on stairs delicious. Yeah, Lee. They have a croquette. I play by that

Which is a cuban like my castle is pretty fucking good delicious But but but this is caribbean fucking. Oh my god. They have a croquette. I play by that Which is a croquette with the swiss the ham on the cuban. My dad would eat that. That'll kill you That's a heartbreaker right there. And then let's talk about the drinks way before the fucking coconut waters or whatever the cubans have the You have to eat on bed. You don't bed with this iron beer. It's a cuban coca-cola Yeah, but let me tell you what I grew up on which killed me for a while But it put weight on me when I was a sickly kid. They have a drink called mateba mateba, of course

It's it's yellow. It's a yellow bar and it lowers your blood pressure. It does naturally. It's got that stuff A friend of mine brought me some reason. It's still sitting in my fridge and they have diet too now in Miami But here's what the cubans that they said brought pressure When you when you're talking about blood pressure blood pressure could suck my dick get me the condensed milk not just milk Oh my god They would get three fingers of condensed milk and then put mateba over and stare it up. It is delicious It is delicious. Now the savage cubans they take mata toi, which is the indian that columbus killer And they put three fingers of cream of those guys are sick. They'll say those are sick

They would put the three Fingers of whatever and with them with the mata toi and stare it up. You have no idea that puts that is better I mean, I need you drink all these energy drinks. They got right there. Yeah hit me up on the side I don't give you a fucking weight gain drink at night with cuban cookies with butter. I was telling my wife. I don't like Coffee and milk. You do know that I drink my fucking coffee black and I'll tell you why I grew up with cubans that would get the Cuban bread with butter with butter and Me too. Me too. It makes me. How do I it makes me cry. It makes me fucking you don't know Then they have a thing called cream cheese. You know philadelphia cream cheese

When cubans with yalla and they open their heart that three of those tubes are congested with cream cheese The beans give up after a while, right? They mix them with yaba On the wahai on the crackers wahai on the crackers. Why the ones that you like Listen after school after school after junior high we go to my grandmother's because my mom was still working So we go to my grandmother wellita and she would have the moment walked in she'd have the the wahai crackers with a slice of of Wayawa and a and a spread of of cream cheese and sometimes

And sometimes she didn't have with a way out or something So we'd have the the the cracker with the cream cheese and some sugar on top I had I had the guava and the cream cheese uh at versai in like west l.a. Yeah. Oh, it was good It's something I would blow but then pornos yesterday had a sandwich with those potato balls in it. Yes, they have Bapapari It's the potato with the ham the Not that one the one the bread the fried one with the the ground beef in it. Yeah, is that one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. No, that's carbohydrate. Listen. Yeah a half a kill is when you go to weight watches They give you 40 points for the day like a fat fuck like me When you eat a cuban steak sandwich a cuban sandwich, it's 26 points. That means you got 14 points left for the fucking day That's what cubans food does to you That's why there's and mexican food will really kill you. Oh, yeah Mexican foods are silent fucking kill it. Let me ask you one more question. I know you're in russia Yesterday they released it They're gonna remake scarface. I heard that. I saw that. Well, I've been hearing it for two years

Here's the thing And so and some of my friends are saying well, they should just put you in the movie In a role in a movie and I'm saying I'd be a bit. Do I do I really want to do that? Do I want to be In something that's going to be forever compared to not forever because it may not last In other words, if it really under under if it really Comes short Of scar if it if it matches scarface, that'd be a fucking miracle. It's not gonna match scarface. Of course not so if so so chances are most probably it'll be

in an attempt and then What would it look like that? I was in that In that back, you know, sort of like and they're not even filming it in miami. They're filming it in la aren't they? I know it's an la story I know that bregman is involved to some degree or he gave the rights I don't know, you know if I'll I'm gonna have to get some advice on this. It's very crazy that I have to get some advice like with cuba

It's like do I go to cuba? Do I wait for everybody to die? Do I wait for the government to to fade away and be moved on or do I just go there and just embrace You know the reality of cuba and and they and and And come to grips with it, you know, those guys will die eventually, you know And I obviously I have a lot of friends who were just resistant to that and my dad was resistant My dad just passed away. So he's like, no, fuck that. Don't go. Don't go. Okay. Don't go but Meanwhile, there it is. It's right there, you know, and I I do want to go. I really want to go now. Do I not go because Because of a silent it just as a sign of protest

And not meet the cuba people. I don't have to fucking meet fidel or or elcastro Or anybody in the government I could go undercover and just can just really really get to know cuba You know what I mean? Yesterday was my sister's birthday. It was a 58th birthday I thought about cuba all day and I couldn't find a fucking number. She's in cuba. She's there Well, I think you should I think we should go and go see her I've been thinking about it. I really have been thinking about I think we should go see her I want to just go with the whole family. Yeah, be the wife. You know, you know, joey Two years ago before my dad got really sick. I thought

My other son al he had an idea my my my older son he because he's visual and he's he's a musician And he had an idea because he didn't spend a lot of time with my dad as his grandfather He didn't get a lot of chance to spend with him, but he was there near the end he did come for the end and so did my other son till and um And what al thought was wow, what if you and me and your dad went and I filmed it And we missed it. We missed it. He's gone So

I don't want to miss it. You know, did you see louis tea eyes? On no, I haven't I haven't seen it yet. I know I know all about yeah I thought of doing that. I thought of going to my father's grave. I thought about going to see my sister Like thought of going to come our way and see those savages. Yeah, I thought of going to and seeing the val deserts, you know, my My my cousins Ecke have fun. So he's in the cuban traveling band. I may have fun. So they travel for the, you know, yeah It's it's I loved it. I think I would have a nervous breakdown at this age I was so cuban growing up

You were you have no fucking idea because jersey was i wasn't union city. I wasn't I wasn't I wasn't joe spick with Hoop-doop-de-loop merengue shoes and shit, but in my house. I was fucking cuban papa They killed chickens. They sold drugs and I'm bullied. They at all, you know, they spoke I said when I first met you and we had you on beating the beast and you told me that you had not grown up around that No, my head almost exploded because of the back of my left there feeling very bad Because I uh, I I said not all these cubans grew or I even had The knowledge, you know, I've grown up in miami all those summers when I went back to miami in october of 84 And to the falls these kids that I was a kid with that was 14 and 13 with were now 18 and 19

And they weren't great little kids. I'm not telling about the cuban kids The white kids were double aggressive And I remember them taking me to a fucking thing on ok chubby road and and there was an old guy like 60 And we knocked on the trailer and we went in and he had a girl in the bed that was like 22 And he goes bang and try and we went and you get in we went like an eight ball and he gave us and he kept saying That means do a bump to it and we're like I've been touching myself. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it was like a fucking I was coming from new york Where I thought it was the end of all miami was living it. It had turned into scarface. Like it was done

Everybody I went to mcdonalds by the by the by the orange ball and three people came up to each other They were selling keys at the fucking mcdonalds I remember bringing it back on the plane eastern airlines right back to new york and like nothing and then doing it two or three times I was going on there to pick up like 800 ounces I went I used to go to a furniture store muñecco was his name He had one eye was straight and the other one went up And I used to have to stay at his house to pick up the blow and that's a story I told you one night he'd be a paranoid

And his house in miami had money so his house had bars around bars around it and he had guns At night he would bar himself up and his wife would tell him if you're gonna snort coke going to the other house Oh, yeah, so he had a back house and he would walk around with a tub of margarine We filled it by the saloon. Look. I'm not right feel with butter with a dish with the coke floating on it So the cops came in he could dunk the dish into the water This is craziness and he would come out with like work bouton like slippers and fucking underwear And this is why when I first saw boogie nights and I saw that scene with the chinese guy I've this is craziness. No, no, that's a chinese guy. You mean you mean uh, yeah

Alfredo, Alfredo, but the china chinese guy kept like this. Oh that guy kept setting up It was that type of party and he kept coming back and giving me more coke And he'd go in the room and he'd come back finally the gun landed on the floor and he shot himself And his son and his wife were like he does this every six months The ambulance will come here in three minutes. They know he shoots himself He does this every time he gets paranoid and when I was a kid I remember hearing my mother going boy. Don't see me tell my stepfather. Don't bring muñeco over here no more He drives you crazy when you do a blast with him

Somebody's outside somebody's outside. No, no, that was muñeco. He'd be like there's somebody outside right now No, he'd start all over. Yeah, but the funny like I really grew up in a queue Like they I remember the fright tell the story all the time the first cuban cop That had the balls in union city to shake down on the cubans These cubans got enthralled and this is where this cuban neighbor I used to like my dad was a bullie dad. Oh, there's a thing called Something the dude that the big guy that they're gonna do his movie. That's the dude. You should wait. They're gonna do uh, the cia guy

Botley, jose botley, they're about to do his story Yeah, and union city guys that went to the cia That they took him down he did time in cuban when he came back He went up to the government said you did what you did now. I gotta do what I do. Don't touch me I'll give you information from time to time, but don't touch me They're still finding jose battle money in miami They just found 10 million that was it had mold in it that he had forgotten about jose battle was a savage So that whole organization of jose battle cia cuban thing was floating around in west new york new jersey

Wow So that whole thing so this cuban cop decides with long hay when i'll out by he's gonna shake down these cuban bar owners cuban bar owners One guy's name was boy ot lifte That means sad pussy fuck big pussy from the sopranos This is 1970 and they were already calling this guy boy ot lifte. They were more it was a fucking nightmare and this cuban cop Went around and he shook down people one day. They shot him At rapido taxi the the fastest uh taxi and in little cuba there

Because they delivered coke that was when they were opening up So he went in there to shake him down They pulled out machine guns and they shot the cuban cop till this day They don't know who shot the fucking cuban cop No, it was they but they don't know they don't fucking they got batten No, they got the dirty cop. jose battle was this cuban dude that lived there that ran this big numbers operation That went all the way to miami and then it closed up. But that was his neighbor. So I grew up very cuban So when my mother died, they pulled a plug on me. I didn't discover cubans again till 1985 in san francisco

The mariel had taken over an abort in cuba in san francisco The tenderloin they took over three. No, and they were tough, but they were geniuses. Wow Stephen bowler, they were genius. They were selling to all the gay people No, no, no, that's the first time I I seen a moog. I wrong moog. I wrong as a cuban dude It gets his dick suck and he smacks around his gay boyfriend But he don't get fucked in the ass right and there was a cuban dude that had two little guys that had wigs with beards He would make them go destroy Rio

And they would come back late. He's bitch slapping right in the street tremendous. This was the cuban culture that was tremendous Oh, who sees this shit? When was the last time you seen somebody get smacked with a wig on you don't know The whole fucking life and the guy goes down and puts the wig on like nothing happened And he's got a beard and he's got a beard fucking, you know the cuban thing is hilarious One of the funniest things that was this cuban drug dealer and he come over and he and he'd show you the coke And one day I had a grad my girlfriend was white. She did not speak English Spanish Spanish, so he kept talking

He's like, what's wrong with her and I'm like, she's deaf and this This you know, it's Steve if any if anybody has a cuban uncle There's always that one cuban that knows and did everything. Yeah, he fought Muhammad Ali Who worked on the building of empire state building? He knew lia coke. Oh, yeah, he I was fidel. He smacked fucking Che Guevara, right? Oh this guy and so he goes. I don't know where he goes. Give me she's deaf And I you know, she moved I use And I go and I go why you know languages Yeah, I know how to speak the language and he does that and she's like

And he she does something back to me. He's like looks that he goes. I don't know that language yet Fuck we should write a we should write a book about the two the two cuban experiences in the in the us the two versions It's interesting because you know, I mean you you It's it was fucking crazy. It's great. It's really colorful. Oh, maybe it was very you give me some really good ideas Like yeah, I just reconnected with a girl on facebook that grew up she was there the night that they called the hit on that cuban cop and

We before we got off the phone. We said to each other we grew up Seen a lot of fucking crazy shit, but she took care of this dude For years named Andres Garcia. Oh, yeah, they called them daddy He ended up going to jail because that was his thing He would make a drug deal and then come with a machine gun and take it from me and take the money Oh, this guy was crazy And I grew up around him. He used to take me for heck cuz he's the one that gave me the coke rock and told me when you Get older save this and put this on the girl's pussy

And he told he told my mother when did you get a coke rock in the sixth grade? He gave me a coke rock And he was why if you ever got a girl over here in the sixth grade He know I had a girl He took me into the city Across the street from the Sheridan Center with a haircut so 75 bucks And he got my haircut. They used to shave me with a razor I had no hair on my face

And they'd shave me with a razor the whole thing And he gave me a coke rock that he's like the first time you bring a girl over here Put this on a pussy and eat her pussy Then one night he told my mom like three months later My mom fucking sat me down the next day while you listened to that fucking lunatic I don't know, he's your fucking friend You know, he comes over here And his wife's name was Nina, but I thought she was a lesbian

So she was allowed to fuck other women. It was pretty so crazy fucking animals In fact, my uncle even when I asked my uncle here because my uncle and my mom were tight But not in her other business and we went to eat one day and my uncle goes, you know I was asking questions and he goes, you know what man? It's better you don't even think of those fucking people because those people were Cuban savages And then once mario got let out my mother had just died before me and mario Oh before mario right. She died november 79. Yeah, it was happening right after that. Yeah, right after last saturday I wasn't in Sacramento

I was doing comedy. I do comedy from thursdays to sunday morning and sat i got up early and I went for a walk I smoked a joint. I got nice to fucking high and I went back And I was going to take a nap And scarface came on it was on it was on spike and it was uh from the part you walk in the bar and The da guy goes up to him and tries to milk him and they try to shoot him Then you go back to mel bernstein mel bernstein then you go back and they tried to ruin my halal suit I got there. Yeah, I hadn't seen that scene. Maybe 15 years. We didn't see it because I grew up on it in 1984

You haven't been watching it in the last few years. Well, last few years, you know, you have to we used to sit around and smoke Coke and watch the fucking thing for two days So now but I watched it And some movies you watch This fucking thing till he asked gurney. Yeah about the job like I gave him Like a breath fucking came out of me man. I know it still has not listed me And he got and he goes he goes And he and I go what about Ernie and he goes and he looks at Ernie and Ernie's standing there fucking trembling

And he goes hi Ernie Do you want a job? And he goes Yeah, Tony Okay, you come see me on monday and fucking angel goes. Hey, man, you got a job And it just relaxes You can breathe you live a breath out and then I watched the part where you gave the sister the ride home Now, I think that middle section is the best part of the movie. Yeah, I love all that

And then when he goes and talks to the old guy's girlfriend at the pool, right that was on and watched that Yeah, he goes I watched up to the part. I first time I saw you I said to myself She's a tiger. She just like me I watched that and I watched the restaurant scene to me the restaurant scene Is as good as they fucking go. Yeah, it's a great you're great in that scene. You're perfect. Thanks. Yeah, perfect What's amazing to me is this man is that he this is how great he was is that he was He had no

He had no vices to be, you know, nothing to get him high he Al had was not drinking or or doing any drugs So that what you see is his Performance his his interpretation of You know when he says was just is this what what it's all about many when he does that He's not drinking or or smoking or Or doing coke

That's just him Creating this fucking image and like over the years. That's the great for me It's like the it's all the greatest irony that people say like you guys are really high and I'm like, no No, that's him. That's him just creating this thing I mean that's it I had to turn it off. I was watching it a couple weeks ago and it's a point where his girlfriends berating him when he's in the hot tub

And like I get paranoid because like she's saying some like terrible things to her And I just know he's gonna kick her ass. It's like I couldn't even he doesn't but he doesn't kick her ass Well, I forgot I forgot I only seen it a couple times. He just saw it. I was high and I was watching I was like, he's gonna kick this shit out. I remember one night. We got so fucking coked out in 1984 That we sat there and we watched when he smacks his wife and godfather too And when he smacks his sister in scarface, oh, yeah, he brought the The fucking things down. Yeah, the computer's down and we fucking sat down. What look at the way he's smacked Holy shit, this is the best snack in hollywood. That's when you know, you're fucking jacked out of your fucking mind

Let me give some shout outs and we'll get to stick around What the fuck are you gonna go? Oh, yeah, I have a yeah I'm gonna give some shout outs on my main girl Cleo, which we will get together next week. This week was acting my girl laura Mikey Vincent Harold cook over there Fucking wrestling motherfuckers. Hope everything is all right. Juan Sanchez Edwin pagan chris jones

scrits a fanny at jesus Mikey guinell and bill I don't know what the fuck do you say schizophrenic jesus? Yeah schizophrenic jesus When did you go back to shooting ray donovan? Yeah, I would say probably uh, two weeks and there's the third season It's the third season third season and um, my character Is then um, it's sort of alienated from uh from ray donovan Even though I was the most loyal and his best friend his only fucking friend But right now he kind of hates me because if you've seen season two, you know how it ends

And you know that I did something to save him from going to prison and he hates me for it You because he because that's the way he is He'd rather have gone to prison than have me do what I did. So now he fucking won't talk to me So the first few episodes I'm in And then there's a there's a little gap where I'm not in and then I'm gonna be coming on strong because I have to we have to reunite Him and I have to get back together. Yeah the first day on the set I was like I was looking at the scripts that the first couple of scripts and I was like

Fuck he hates me and I was asking the producers Like a girl. I was like I was like do we ever get back together? Like a high school girl, you know, I'm like do we ever get back together and they're like, don't worry, Stephen Don't worry this season. You guys are gonna be back together You know, but don't don't give it away. Don't tell the audience Because it creates a lot of tension because people are saying like what the fuck, you know, they're gonna be like What happened to avi, you know, he was his best fucking friend Well, he's his only friend

You know that in season two, I think it was someone goes Fuck ray, you don't even have any fucking friends and he goes well, I have avi and they go that's not your friend. He works for you You know So anyway, it's it's great. It's a beautiful beautiful gig and I'm really proud of it because of the way that people respond around the country And now around the world is starting to show in different places I was in switzerland and

Recently and people in france and people had seen it, you know And I get I'm starting to get some some mail from like ireland and australia and They're showing in a peru and you know, I mean it's starting to show around the world. So But then you look this is this is good This will help my also my my future my film career and there's a few movies I want to do before I you know before I Get too old before you go jack mickelson's house

Yeah, I did that already. I did that right now. I gotta work. He's retired. Yeah, more more or less. Yeah, he's retired now Now listen, man, uh, he's awesome. I'm always a big friend. You're my friend. I love, uh, I hit you up a while ago When you were spawning, that's it. Thank you. I'm happy that you're here. No, I love doing this Well, he's looking really here. We could find that a bull is a girlfriend's gonna dump him now No, no, we should do this once a month. Yeah. No, whenever you all right Come on because I'm in the neighborhood and we'll bring our food. He was gonna bring food I don't get it all yesterday, but I was like, thank god. No, I don't eat. You're an organic diet now. Yeah. Yeah They got you on one Cuban chicken cutlet every day and you should like that

Let me give uh All right sponsors here if you want you could boogie brother. If not, you could see I got I got I got to get back Because we have a new housekeeper and uh, and I got to be there at least to to translate. All right All right, I love you. I love you too. Thank you very much And I'll be back next month and give you an update on on donovan whenever you want. You just okay. Okay. Okay Okay, and listen, I got some movies coming out too. What are you guys coming out movie called sweet Lorraine That I did like five years ago and it took him a long time to get the movie To get the director to want to actually put it out because he's just kind of eccentric and uh, it starts Tatum O'Neill

And myself and and it's a comedy role for me. I play Lou Bava who is a Who wants to be mayor of a small jersey town? I'm a restaurateur Yeah, I own a restaurant and I have a lot of friends. I'm Italian American Basically, I'm chris christy, you know And uh, and it's really really fucking funny and it's the black it's a black comedy and Tatum plays

A girl that uh a woman that I have a thing with but she married a priest And uh, and then I have a thing for her daughter and it's really dark But it's it's funny. He's coming out and it will be a vod on what is it? What's vod by the way video on demand video on demand exactly on it'll be on demand in in april But the premiere is in new york and I can't go because i'm working But um, they're gonna have a big premiere in new york and then I got another movie that's going to show at the count film festival with Time-sized war in amanda sante. Okay, and uh, I can't go to that because I'm doing donovan But um, you know, there's some cool stuff coming up

So look for me. Anyway, I'll come back in less than 30 days and update you. That's why I love you. All right. I love you man Thank you. All right. Take care Be careful in the walk home. There's people out there. We're fucking this there's all kinds of savages Savages on it. It's a joke for optimum optimization motherfuckers. They don't fuck around They don't you got shroom tech new sport. You got everything shroom tech Sport and shroom tech immune. You've got the the the new mood You just it's the t plus to raise your testosterone levels mct oil Yes, a t oil mct mct all the coconut oil

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