Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #267 - Frankie Edgar, Joey Diaz, and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: March 24, 2015

Frankie Edgar, UFC fighter whos next fight is Headlining UFC FIght Night: Edgar Vs. Faber on May 16, 2015, calls in to Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt. This podcast is brought to you by:  Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. Iron Dragon TV. A New Roku channel with all the best martial arts films. Use Code word joey for two free rentals. HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for a 20% discount Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by using code word joeydiaz. Music:  10th Avenue Freeze Out - Bruce Springsteen I Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet The Car With Lyrics - Moving In Stereo Recorded on 03/23/2015

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You're going to get 20% off of your order. Oh, shit. Just when you thought it was safe, baby. Are you fucking kidding me or what? March 23rd, bitches, the church, and what's happening now? Little Bruce Springsteen for you motherfuckers. Getting a jersey type of fucking mood. Are you kidding me?

Drop that shit, Lee. Too fucking much, baby. Just when you thought it was safe. Break out the fucking new chops. We're taking this bitch to town. Oh, shit. Well, everybody better move over that song. Because I'm running on the bad side,

and I got my back to the wall. Hit it. Damn, damn, my new face out. Like a bad motherfucker. The devil was buried at sea, bitches. What's going on, my little brother? Not much, buddy. My little Jewish fucking demon.

I'm surprised you were listening to Springsteen. You usually don't like him that much. I like this fucking jam. I like that album. I like that album. What album is that? It's Not Darkness on the Edge of Town. It's the other one.

I don't know what the fucking name it is. It's off the top of my head. It's got that on it. Not Thunder Road, but the other fucking one. Who knows? Great to be here. It's Monday, March 23rd. The day the devil was fucking raped in the ass

and spit on and shit going into the ocean. All that shit. St. Michael fucked him up. I'm here with my main man, Lee Syat. The boogie down man. What's happening, baby? How was your weekend? I had a great weekend.

Tell him what you did. Tell him what you did. I finally introduced Paula to some stars. See what I'm saying? One little fucking star that you gave her like a little piece Friday. You talked to me since you hadn't gotten off yet, which happens.

Right. Your body doesn't know what the fuck to do. Then you gave her another little bit. Then the warmth started. Right. It was awesome. It was a... He thought I was kidding you Friday. He thought like...

Well, you've been telling me to do it for months. Months. You've been telling me to... Bust it out. Don't say. If you make people think about shit, they're never gonna do it. It's like anything else in life.

Hey man, you should do this. Yeah, yeah. If you think about it, I think about it. And then they always come up with, ah, I'm right. Just dose them. And then they got to know where to go.

And then they're gonna get married for 10 minutes. Then they're gonna start smiling. And that's it. Then everybody's fucking happy. I didn't even have to dose her. I just, she was into it. And she even asked what we did two nights in a row. And we just, we watched two things.

We watched, dude wears my car, dude wears your car. And then we watched Kings of Comedy for with like Bernie Mac and all those guys from 2000. And we were just laughing at the stupid. Like we were laughing hysterically for almost all of dude wears my car because the woman who married Rice Cub or whatever, the comedian who played Chloe in 24,

she recognized her. And I said that she's under deep cover, deep undercover as like one of those old Tom people. So we would just laugh every time she came on screen. She's deep undercover. She's deep undercover. It's fucking fun sometimes. You know, especially when you don't do it.

Right. And you get the giggles and you. It was kind of cool. I start from kind of your point of view a little bit because she had never done it before. So she would, she stood up at one point. She's like, I don't know if I can walk. I was like, you're already walking.

And she's like, oh, great. And we had some good food. We got Thai food. It was a great weekend. Yeah, man. It's nice and light. You didn't fucking kill yourself. You had to go for cocktails and wait on the line

and deal with assholes and clubs. It's a lot better than drinking honestly. There's no hangover. It's not that expensive. And it's, you don't feel like, you don't even feel, you never feel sick from it. Every once in a while I took too much but I would never give her that much.

So. You know, and sometimes you eat an edible and just go do something simple. Like go on a Ventura Boulevard and walk around the restaurant row or something. After this podcast on Friday, we went to Jersey Mike's. Did you?

And had a great sub. What did she have? She, we got the same thing. We got turkey on wheat with a little bit of bacon. And I told you. I did the mayo with the salt and the pepper. It was great. It's fucking tremendous.

No avocado. No avocado. The avocado for me is a little bit, so like I like it on burger sometimes but subs I'm not hugely into. But then we went next door. They have Rita's like the shaved Italian ice thing from Philly.

Oh, that was so good. What flavor? I never been in there. Well, we went on a stupid day. We went on, it was like free, free day, which we didn't know. So there's a bigger line. But we got something.

It was like half ice, half custard mixed together. So it was like a kind of like a shake, like kind of a thinner shake. It was really good. No shit. I always see that it's really popular. I've never gone in there just cause. Apparently it's a big Philly thing.

That's what Simone was telling me. And he said that people love it. And the line was literally out the door on Friday because like the first day of spring is free ice day or something. And it was great. We had a great time. Fucking great, man.

Yeah. How about you? How was your weekend? I fucking did, you know, did spots worked out heavy for Saturday, Sunday. Went to Jiu-Jitsu Friday, lifted both days, took the baby swimming Saturday. You know, the same bullshit.

Did a few spots. Did great with, I did great over at the improv with Greg Fitzsimmons' show. Oh, that's cool. Then I went over to the main room at the commie store and ate death. Really? I was telling Ari, I'm 50% in the main room.

The main room is iffy, you know, for me. It always has. I just take the spot and I go down there and try my best. And it's like a few hundred feet from the original room. So why do you think it's different? Just it's a bigger room. It's a way bigger room. It's a different layout.

It feels different. It's pointed towards the west, you know, at the fucking commie store, the shingdu, whatever they fucking call it. When Chinese people point some. Feng Shui. Feng Shui, it's pointed to the fucking, whatever it is, the east, I don't even know anymore.

But it's, I don't know. There's no excuses. I just always have it in the back of my mind. I went out there very high energy and they would just put me to a halt. Really? It was just a halt. But I don't, hey listen man, it's a 50 fucking 50 situation.

How long does that like weigh on your mind when you have a bad set? Once I get to the car. Once I stood at the car and was making a left onto Laurel Kangan, it was all gone from there. I don't give a fuck anymore. It's a game of percentages. It's a game of, you know, you're gonna have good days

and you're gonna have bad days. Even if you have 10 bad days, 10 good days in a row, eventually you're gonna have a bad set, you know, and you can't control it. You control the, you know, I did okay, but it wasn't what I wanted. So. Right.

Sunday day, I did have a great time though. I did, again, I went out of my comfort zone. I drove downtown. Oh wow, oh you drove? Which I hated. Yeah, fuck yeah. I wasn't gonna take the train. It was a half a mile of where it dropped me off.

I had to take a cab. My wife said just, and it was easy. I just drove. I went over there. It was 20 bucks to park. And I went to EBI and it was fucking phenomenal. I stayed to the semi-finals. I didn't get to watch Gary Tone.

I watched Gary Tone in a row twice. Okay. Nate Orchard, I saw, you know, Javi Mendes lost. I saw some great Jiu-Jitsu. I didn't know what the fuck it was too high level for me. Really? A lot of leg locks and shit, which I don't even like feet. Like I'll never, once you become a blue belt,

you're allowed to go for leg locks and heel hooks and all that shit. Okay. But I don't even like people's feet. So I'll never become a blue belt. You'll never touch people's feet? No. I'd rather fucking have my hand cut off

than have a man touching my feet and grabbing my foot and me grabbing his fucking foot. But the star of the show was definitely this little girl. I don't know how old she was. Her name was Grace Gundram from 10th Planet Bethlehem PA. Yeah, you were telling me about it. It was, I mean, it brought me to tears. It brought me my emotions, everything.

It just, it was amazing to see this little girl, Asian girl was maybe, you know, the other girl had maybe like by 15 pounds, little tall, a little lankier. Okay. And she stuck to what Jiu-Jitsu is. Jiu-Jitsu is for little people to fuck up big people, to neutralize them, you know, and she did exactly that.

She showed us the beauty of Jiu-Jitsu all over again, which is if you go to the technique, the way it's taught to you and stick to it, no matter what that guy is doing, he can't stop it. Just the technique, it's so technical, Jiu-Jitsu. You know, when you first started, it's hard to comprehend that. You do everything from strength,

but the more you go, you see that everything flows and it's all about being very technical. If you put your knee there and your hand there, and she did it. And I mean, she brought the fucking place to a standing ovation. Is it only one match at a time? Yeah, it's one match at a time, two people.

It's 10 minute matches, it's submission only, and it's overtime. So you grab somebody's back in a seat belt and put your hooks in, and they say, go and you gotta get out of it. Or I have to try to submit you and you have to try to get out of it. So you have to turn it into me, you know,

without me submitting, you're going for your neck. Very interesting, the matches, the way Eddie's doing it, you know, Eddie really knows Jiu-Jitsu. You know, people think he's crazy or whatever. When it comes to Jiu-Jitsu, he's got a great mind. He has, if I listened to him on Rogan and he was talking about it, he's after watching it, yes, they have to sing Eddie

against what's his name in Meta Morris. I realize that there is a market for it on TV. This night I'm going through television shit on ESPN. There's some horrible fucking programming. Whether it's about hunting, I got nothing in hunters or fucking poker, you know, there is a time slot. There is room on television today for one hour of Jiu-Jitsu week in a tournament situation.

10 people, $10,000 winner. It's done in an hour, it's 10 minute matches, you know, it's done in fucking two hours, you know, they take a figure out how to do it in two hours on TV every week, it'd be fucking phenomenal. I know, I didn't watch. So what was so cool about that? Well, they did it at the Orpheum Theater.

They did it downtown, you know, it was just a different shot. Oh no, I met with that girl who won, like what was so cool about her match. That she came from behind. It was always like, she was always a smaller opponent, but it didn't really settle. I mean, the highlight of the match was when her mom started yelling,

like she caught a quiet minute in the room and she goes, let's go Grace, wrap this up, I got no time to fuck around or mess around, like the whole room of Gentiles froze by how she said it, but that's how she basically motivated her daughter. And at the end she got her and I think she choked her and she escaped and she won. And she was the cutest little girl in the world.

And this is gonna change for women. Like this is gonna change. Like, I think in my, after watching it, I think the reason why I got more emotional is because my daughter won't have to take bullshit. I don't have to worry about my daughter getting manhandled. You know, if you have a daughter or, you know, for years, women always wanted to get women's lib,

but it didn't bite with me. Now it's biting. Okay. You want women's fucking lib, you gotta get in there and get down and fucking dirty. And women are doing it. Rhonda Rousey's doing it. Right.

These women are really doing it, which it's, you know, I'm 52, I'm along, am I gonna be around for my fucking daughter till she's 18, 19, maybe? You know, sometimes I get so worked up doing stand-up, my head'll blow up right on fucking stage one day. But until that time, I know that if my daughter, I mean, that's it. It's just something empowering.

Like it just empowered me. Like this little girl just did this, you know. When are you gonna put her in jiu-jitsu? Do you have a plan? I'm not gonna put her in. She has to come to me and say, I wanna give it a try. Oh, okay. I'm not really gonna force her on anything.

I'll expose it to it. She'll be exposed to it, you know, to house a TV at a school and she'll come to me one day and say, I wanna go watch it and I'll take her to watch it. And she'll either like it or she won't. You know, kids, you know, you can't, I don't want to pistol Pete Marovitch my child into liking a specific sport.

Pistol Pete was a player in the seventies. That was great. When biography came out, his father used to torture him. Pistol Pete died from cirrhosis of the liver, I think. He drank himself to fucking death. He was a great basketball player. But he had one of those fathers. Right.

You see, you know, with fathers, I'm talking about, get out there. You lost, go sleep in the fucking garage. You know, that type of shit. Go, you lost, go shoot free throws till you fucking win those fathers that are living their dream to their child. So they're pushing them.

I don't wanna do that. I want her to, you know, she wants to learn Tai Chi what the fuck am I gonna do? Let it be a Tai Chi black belt. Let her hypnotize people. But I think it's good for kids. I was, I'm the least athletic person in the world. But my mom always had me doing something.

I would do either soccer or baseball. After, no, she's gonna do something. No, that's the least of my worries. Listen, my wife doesn't work so she could take in this activity every fucking day. There's always some. Today they went to the zoo. They went to take school pictures in the zoo.

Tomorrow she just goes to school. Wednesday she goes to a friend's house and they all watch the kids and they jump up and down. They fucking barbecue. Thursday she goes to school on Friday. She goes to the kitty corner. There's always an adventure looming.

Saturday she goes swimming. Sunday she goes to the daycare over at church for two hours and she loses her fucking mind there. There's always something. There always has to be something because everybody know I don't, I don't handle the devil's motherfucking workshop. I hope she gets into a martial art.

You know, people have opinions about martial arts. I know for a fact, martial arts works. Why? Because it worked on me. It got my life together two times. So martial arts works. It's a discipline. It's something that you get involved in. It's something that you become a part of

and that's better than becoming anything else. I'd rather have a child and excuse me, a martial art than anything else. Her involvement in that, you know? I did Taekwondo for seven or eight years. I went to Redbelt and I'm not, I don't regret not doing it, not finishing to get a black belt.

But one thing my mom, my mom never let me quit anything, which I think has helped me a lot. Like if I was gonna stop doing a sport, I had to have something else or even that, like I'd have to finish the season. I had a bunch of friends who quit freshman football the first couple of weeks into the practices.

I never played football ever and I joined freshman year and I only played like two snaps the entire season because like they had to put you in once and I was against the worst team and I hated, I hated every minute of it. But I remember I finished the season and it's, especially out here you see people switching jobs a lot and that's never been me.

I always like, I try to stick things out. You have to. It's funny last week you and I were having a conversation. You did your taxes. Yeah. You thought you were gonna go back to jail when you owed a little bit more than you anticipated. Right.

And you didn't panic. I thought that you were gonna, I thought that you're gonna be a little worse than what you were because there's nothing you could do. But then you told me you wanted to drive. Ooh, bro. And I'm like, this fucking guy's crazy. And then when I called you that night,

you're like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna drive. I gotta call you back and you were giving some people some rides and I thought about it that night. And Lee, I've done the same. Whenever I got into a bind, I'm like, oh shit. Well, before I got into comedy, or even when I got into comedy, there was times when I said, you know what?

This isn't working. I'm gonna go get a job. And bam, you book a fucking commercial. Bam, you book a TV show. Right. And people do it all the time. Like they, they go for a dream and then, you know, a couple of years into it.

They're like, I'm not making money in this. I'm gonna go back to driving a bus. And then, but if they would have put the full effort, I understand. I understand, man. I understand when people do that. I understand the need to have money. I understand the need to want things.

I just don't understand the need of people needing to bail on something. So when this happens, I called you two days ago. We spoke and I said, listen, I just think you should put more effort into your field. Right. You know, you're gonna go put 10 to 20 hours a week into somebody else's fucking career,

or driving, or loading, or waitressing. What the fuck are you gonna do? Right. Put 10 more harder hours into your job. Shit's gonna happen. You're gonna see it. Shit's gonna happen. Right.

And that's what happened, you know? Things happen. I mean, I never understood that. And I hope you, and I'm happy you understood when I said to you what I was saying. No, I understand. I hate it. I've only done it a couple of times.

And there's nothing I, it was so demeaning doing it. And it's not, it's just the way that people, and most of the people were cool, but it was just some of the way people treated me. I'm not supposed to be doing this. And it's, of course it's about the money. Like I need the money to pay taxes, and I need the money to live.

But I've been working with you for almost four years, I think. And even though my parents are supportive, and even though Paul is supportive, they don't really get it. Like they, my mom will call me and say, who else are you doing a podcast with her? Or she heard about other people who are producing podcasts.

You should go talk to them. And for me, I don't know if it's, I've put so much work into what we've been doing, and I'm so invested in it. And yes, I get to come and we hang and we laugh, and I get to have edible. So I understand why some people might not understand it. But I actually, this sounds horrible,

but I'm gonna say it. Before I left to do my taxes, I actually said a little prayer that I would be able to owe a little bit of amount that would let me keep doing this. Because yeah, I would love to be a millionaire. It would be great. But it's been so important to me

what we're doing because it has my fingerprint on it. Like I was at the, getting my car washed the other day, and I saw these people building a house, and I could never build a house, ever. But it was, it was cool to me. I was a little bit high from a podcast, and I was just watching them and I'm like, that must be really cool to like start building a house,

finish, and get to see what you did. And when we started, we were doing, we were using webcams, and I was popping them up with Lysol wipes, and we moved from my house to another office. We first started at your house. I was working 10 hours a day, and then going to it. So I think a lot of it is a little bit,

maybe I'm too prideful, maybe I do care too much about it, and I wanna make it, I wanna see this turn into, I don't know, a TV show, or someone sponsors us and gives us 100 grand a year each, or I don't know what is gonna come from it, but it, I did do, I was thinking I was gonna do Uber just to make a little bit of money to pay off what I owe,

but it's just, and I could have been very happy being an editor, I think. I could have lived a very normal life and worked 60 hours a week or whatever, would have been, but whenever we have a great podcast, or whenever somebody sends me an email now, it feels, it's so, it blows my mind,

and it's just, I was petrified of tech. I was nervous for a couple weeks, and I was going through it, trying to get all the deductions I could, and trust me, this is my first year only having this, so I really sympathize with anyone who's doing their own stuff, because they basically doubled my taxes

with a self-employment tax, and I understand that it's basically because you're not paying into social security, but everyone always pushes the American dream on you, and the fact that they tax you more when you're self-employed is just unbelievable to me, so I was petrified, and I owe enough, or a little bit that I can still keep doing this,

I don't have to go back and get an editing job, but I was petrified, I was, I don't know how I would have called you, and said, listen, I can't do this anymore, that would have killed me, because you put so much faith into me four years ago when I ate Facebook message to you, and we started with math-flavored world videos,

and I would edit them on the weekends, and you give me 100 bucks a week when I knew nothing, I was building furniture at my other job when I was supposed to be an assistant editor, and you put so much faith in you, I don't want anyone to write to you, and be like, oh, why are you paying me more? You're paying me more than most podcast producers

probably get paid, so it's not, it's never about the amount of money, it's- About loving what you do. I think, yeah, it's that, and then who you're working with. You're, it's funny, it brought up Gregford Simmons, you did his podcast a year or so ago, and I went with you, and he said, what's the hardest part about working with Joey, and I think about it every now

and then, you're not an easy person to work for, in many ways, you want things faster than sometimes it can be, you never take a vacation, there's never a week off from the podcast, really, but I've worked so many jobs where bosses are mean, or bad people, or they don't want anyone else's input, and this is your podcast. This is the, I got very lucky, and you're well-known,

and this is your podcast, but you never make me feel like that, you never say it, sometimes you'll make fun of some of my ideas, but usually you're very open to it, and it's been, it was killing me, that was, I think, the part that was killing me, that I would have to make that phone call, and say, listen, I have to go back to editing, and I'll train somebody else, or I don't know

what it would have been, but I'm glad that's not gonna be the case. First off, your handprint is on this podcast. A lot of people love the podcast, us being together, and that's the whole thing, you know. I'm blown away by taxes too, and I told you like a year ago what I paid in taxes, like from the podcast, now they have a 10% city tax for businesses,

for small businesses, it's like they come out here from all fucking direction, and I think that there's something here, listen, for years I was chasing, not the American dream, I was chasing a dream, I was chasing that, I was gonna do something, and bump into money. We all think when we're young, we're gonna bump into money. We agree to the salary that we take in a job,

we go to that job every day, and then six months into it, no matter what job we have, no matter what we're paying us, you're always gonna go fuck, I need to make more, that's just the, that's what we're about, you know, and you're working for somebody, they have whatever the fuck they call it, they pay you, and then you want more, everybody wants more, and then you're like, maybe I'll bump in,

it's like when you owe a lot of money in your credit cards, and you're like, I gotta do something, I've never seen myself gonna get away from this, like I'm never gonna get out of this fucking hole, you know, and you're always thinking you're gonna bump into that fucking envelope, you know, I never thought that, I thought that till I was about 31 or 32, and then it got replaced

by something called hard work, you know, Lee, we fucking party too much, we live in a society of people that they wanna do everything, and then when things don't go their way, they wanna cry, well that means you can't do everything, and that was mine, that was my biggest problem when I was in my 20s, I wanted to do everything,

but you can't, you know, you pick up two tabs, that's 300 bucks, you're only getting 15 an hour, 12 an hour, 18 an hour, 20 an hour, you're still getting an hour of weight, and you go to a restaurant, it's fucking 150 or whatever, with your friends, you know, when you go to Vegas, it's fucking cost money, when you go to all these places as a young man, it costs money,

and I would always try to catch up with people, I was always catching up, ah, I'll put this next week, I'll pay the rent, you're never gonna fucking pay the rent, cause next week something else is gonna come up on Friday, you got the wrong fucking friends, you know, you gotta get friends that stay in at night or whatever the fuck it is, when I got into comedy it's funny, I always tell people,

this June is really gonna be 20 years of my comedy career, I really started in July of 91, but I decided, it took me four years to really attack stand-up comedy, do you know why Lee, because of those years, even though I was doing shitty jobs and selling cars, and I had to prepare myself for the journey, this was not gonna be an easy journey,

and that's what people always misinterpret that, this is gonna be an easy journey, at first thought we live in a place where everybody wants to go on vacation three weeks a year, and not just fucking the vacation, cause nobody just wants to take a week off and plant tomatoes, oh no, they gotta go somewhere, exquisite and really fuck themselves up,

cause it fucks your head up after like four days, could I live here, could I do these things, then you have to go back to fucking reality to pay for that fucking vacation, so I'm not one to take a fucking vacation, I believe that there's work, there's something I could be doing every day, that's my belief, that's how I was raised,

that's what I've seen in 30 years of being in the job market, that people work five days a week, and oh well, it's gonna be a hard fucking life brother, unless you're making fucking $90,000 an hour. Right, for me to be at the level of where I want my stand up to be, where we want the podcast to be, it takes effort, it takes work,

I gotta get up in the morning and think of notes, and think of things, and music, so it takes a lot more work. With this podcast, we generate some money from sponsors, I caught it with you, 50%, you know, as close as I can without paying the bills, and me losing money, and this for me has been also a learning experience,

I mean, I don't wanna fucking quit doing the podcast, but in my world, you know, I don't know, I just like sacrificing, I've always liked sacrificing, people always tell you, oh they went, we party, we went here and in two weeks later telling you how they're behind on their credit card, well you also went there for fucking two weeks, guy, you know, so there's so many fucking variables of living,

it's just what we wanna do. I've always believed, and I said to you, I said, listen, there's so much more we could be doing with this podcast, it's not that we've gotten lazy, it's that we've gotten busy, you know, we're trying to put the podcast up on Roku now, we're trying to,

I'm trying to put together respect, I mean, there's so many fucking things that, you know, it's like I was telling you, for years I was my own agent, I knew it was movies we're making, and when a movie, I attacked that fucking movie, I don't have the time to be my own agent no more, I just don't, you know, I appreciate you sticking this out,

and I know that things are gonna change here, you know, I know that you have some thoughts in your mind, I mean, you've got your t-shirts, you got your own blog, you got your own little things going on, and they're only gonna get better the way this podcast got better, but you gotta stick to it, you can't have two bad weeks, and God don't wanna do it no more,

everybody has two bad weeks, we went through a dry spell with the podcast a year and a half ago, or a number, you know, and why, because I was putting attention to the road, I wasn't putting attention to this, I was having too much fucking road work, and not enough of this, this is our bread and butter, I love doing this, I really enjoy doing fucking this,

you know, I love coming in here and talking to you, but I'm happy that you had that belief, that you believed in yourself to stay here and come back, let me tell you something, and I don't know who the fuck you're kidding, and I'm gonna tell you something right now, when you were editing, you were not a happy person. No, no, no.

You were not a happy person. I was, there were some jobs that I was depressed. You were having no happy person, those jobs suck. Right. That overnight shit is an editor in the system, you know, and even John Budd, who's the brown belt over at V-Mac, we've had thousands of conversations about you,

and he's told me a thousand times, that job your friend has in the system editor, those jobs suck. He's told me a thousand times to tell you to get a higher job, like how to do it. He was telling me for you to go to the studio over here, I just, you have to talk to him yourself. I can't, I don't know the editing business,

so I can't, I would love for you to get a day job. If you get a day job, we could still do this at night, you know, if you wanna, I'm with you, whatever the fuck you wanna do, you know, but I don't want you to go get a job, but you're not gonna enjoy it either. It's the law of the mission returns. The problem is with editing is I would,

I was about three years into assistant editing, so on a very, on an average scale, I was probably two to three, maybe four years away from editing, being an editor, and the problem is, yes, on paper, if I worked nine to five, we could do this every night at eight, and that would be cool.

One of the reasons I decided to leave editing was, and you know this from working in TV and movies, there's no set schedule, and I understand why the producers think that their thing is the most important thing in the world, because it's their name and they're the EPs, and I understand that, but if I wanted to get an editing job right now,

or an assistant editing job, which I'd be doing, it'd probably be from 10 to seven, and then there'd be nights where I'd have to be there until eight, 39, and there's no, there's no job in editing that I could do really, and still do this the way we're doing it, and the dry spell we went through about a year and a half ago, I was still working nights or another job,

and I can see myself doing better since then, so if, like I tell everyone who asks, if it got to the point where I'd be homeless, yeah, I would get an editing job, and I'm not gonna be stupid about it, but I'm okay not having the nicest apartment or not giving up some things, hoping that this will work out and working hard.

Now what does Paula want you to do for a job? What does she expect from you as a job? I mean, obviously you guys are getting more serious, you guys wanna get married. She's been very cool. She would never want me to be unemployed, not making any money, and I think if I were to propose,

she would want something a little bit more stable, but she understands what I'm doing, and she's been pretty cool about it. I think when we first started dating, I was making more money, cause I was still doing TV, so she's seen like, not a decline, but I haven't been able to do as many things as before, which is fine.

I think it's mostly my parents who, and they're always very supportive. They always ask about it, and they're very supportive of it, but they want, they saw how much money I was making before, and they don't want me to have to, I don't think they want me to worry about money, and they know that editing is, even though it's not super secure

because you go from show to show, there's a guaranteed paycheck and they take taxes out, and it's more of a regular life. So I see where they're coming from. So what does, for you to propose to Paula, what would Paula say to you? You have to go back and get a day job now, or edit a job. I don't know if she'd say that.

So what would you do? Can you go back and work 10 to fucking seven, so then when would she see you? Right, and that's what I do tell her sometimes when, like if, like we had a podcast on Friday, and I couldn't see until later. If I was working a regular job, since sometimes we go away on a Thursday night,

like if you're gone, sometimes we'll go away to like San Diego or something. So that wouldn't be possible. I don't think she would say I have to go get another job. I think if in two or three years, when, that will probably be what's happening, because I'm not gonna do it until after she graduates, I think she might ask me about it,

which I understand. I mean, you have a college degree. What are the things that can you do? What are the things would you like to do? What are you interested in doing? This, I love this, and I've always liked editing, and I was pretty good at it,

and I was lucky enough to work on some pretty good shows, but you're right. When I said I would have been happy, that's not exactly true. I think me, and maybe it's just- I mean, you're gonna work 10 to seven, and you're not gonna make much more money than when I'm paying at 10 to seven,

and you gotta drive to fucking Santa Monica, and you gotta stay up all life and look like the fucking wolf man. I mean, you weren't making extremely more, not at all, not at any fucking ballpark, and you were working 10 to fucking seven. You were putting together blocks and fucking houses, and what the fuck, they told you to sweep and shit.

So in a way, it wasn't really assistant editing. It was more like you do everything. Well, that was, when I first started, towards the end, the last couple of jobs, that was my last job. I was the lead assistant editor. I was in charge of a couple other assistant editors, and yeah, I think after taxes,

I was making 900 a week, something, something like that. So that's a comfortable life, but I was not happy. Like they would call me in at nights over the weekends because the producer- Somebody fucks up mom. I decided that I had to be there. So when you say I have a college degree, and what else could I do or do I wanna do?

What's that degree? What's that degree? What else do you consider doing? But the degree I have is in digital post-production, so all I can do is editing. I could probably get an insurance job or another kind of office job. Selling insurance?

Yeah, I don't know. Like a regular office job, and I could. What kind of job would you want? I don't wanna do any other job. I mean, I've gotten to meet you, and I got to meet all the cool people we have, and not having to sit in traffic for three hours a day is a big plus.

And that's when I said that money isn't the number one concern. I would love more money, and that is a concern with me being able to pay my bills. But who's had a happier year and a half than I have? I've gotten to do such cool things. I got to go to Austin with you, and some guy sent me an email last week,

and I didn't get to read the whole thing. What he said was is that I'm wasting my time doing this, and then I'm on your coattails, and I should be making my own name. And that was right before I was doing my taxes, so it kinda bummed me out. But I thought about it last night, and part of it's true. Part of it is, obviously, if I was doing this podcast

with your clone, but who didn't have your name, obviously the numbers wouldn't be there. But you gotta start somewhere. It's like with your podcast. I went on Rogan's podcast, I went on other people's podcast, that number's a huge. And I went on the podcast, and you work, and you work, and you work, and you work.

Now, for a year and a half, you've done another podcast. And the big difference is, with those podcasts and me, is these guys don't work. Their job is over once they walk in here. They walk in here 15 fucking minutes late. They don't prepare anything. They have nothing to talk about when they do come in here. They have a shitty fucking guest.

I work at this, and that's what people avoid. When people don't wanna do work, they go, okay, that's it, I'm gonna do something else or something like this. We've seen it, I pointed it out to you. I said, watch this fucking move, this person's gonna do. You've seen it all. You've seen it, you've seen it from behind.

They fucking freak. Work is a foreign word for fucking 60% of the people out here. Once they gotta do work, the breaks go on and they change fuck, whether it's a script, a book, a movie, fucking anything, and you've seen it. I've shown it to you. How many intros did I make for people with podcasts? I only have worked out, because this is work.

It's work at any level. If you take your podcast right now, first of all, first off, you have never been on my coattail. We have built this together. That's what these morons don't understand. From doing $100 fucking videos, when I would give you the camera on Mondays and you'd give it back to me on Tuesdays, we had nothing.

So if we did this in four years, what you could do in two on your own, the office is available to you here, nobody's in here throughout the day. You've got editing equipment in here, you've got computers, you've got a fucking screen now. That's what I was saying to you. This is when you go, okay, what the fuck do I wanna do?

For a couple more yardsticks a week, I gotta be in a fucking car and take orders and work nights by myself with no air conditioning. They fucking leave you in the fucking garage at night. That one night, you gotta fucking take a cab back and go back. Here, you go from point A to point B, which is two miles. We eat fucking edibles.

The worst thing that happens to you is you go home and you eat 22 fucking rice cakes in the middle of the sea. But you're making your own mark and you're starting somewhere. This all started for me, we're doing what? Opening for Joe Rogan on the road. Okay, but at the same time, what was I doing? I was building my own little niche.

Every time you guys that listen to the podcast you send me a picture of me in basketball. That was 1998. You send me a thing of the Sopranos, Mad TV. That was 2003. Spider-Man 2, The Longest Shard. That was 2004 and fucking five. When the podcast world come along,

so no matter what I was doing with Joe Rogan, I was always doing my own thing. So people never confused me with Joe Rogan. That was very big to me that Joe had been so kind and had such a huge heart to take me on the road with me. And pay me, and then he would take me and Ari with him and pay us and take us for steaks and first class plane tickets.

Joe doesn't fuck around. That's how I started. You don't think I was on his coattails? You bet your ass I was, but I really wasn't because I was doing something for myself on my own, which is the most important fucking thing in this life. I don't give a fuck if you're fucking, we all, what is 60% of the kids you grew up with?

They went to work for their fucking fathers. That's not being on somebody's coattail. Who the fuck are you kidding? Why you work for your father? Why are you living? You're living at the house. You ain't paying rent and mom is still cooking for you. You're on that coattail.

What happens after four years that you work for your father? You actually learn the fucking trade. And then what happens? Then you put your own spin on it, your own artistic fucking way on it. There's things we do with this podcast that I'm sure you don't fucking like, Lee. And I love that you don't fucking like it

because that's how much better your podcast is when you start doing a podcast. It is already. You're doing a lot better than these other fucking boboes you had in here with you for fucking eight weeks. And you're not a fucking comedian. You're not even a fucking comedian. I did a fucking podcast with a woman

that was a 20 year comic and she couldn't get the work ethic of what this podcast is. So I've told you a thousand times in four years, you're gonna have the knowledge to take over this town. It's what you do with it. I love what's his name, Barry. I didn't like what he said to you that night

because he tried to do it in a, in a whatever way. And half of these fucking idiots listening at home believed that, that you didn't have a career as a manager. Well, guess what? You're gonna have more of a career as a manager than he is because you're a career, you're a manager that's dialed in on 2015. Half these fucking people I talked to in the day

that walk around parading like they're big agents and managers don't have the main ingredient, brother. They don't have the get-go. So always remember that you're on nobody's co-tail unless you're not doing something. If you were home fanning your pussy, yes, master and you're running over here, but that's not the case. Is that the case with you and I?

No. No. We set a time, we goof, I call you, I tell you what my dilemmas are. You solve them for me. How many problems you solve for me? You ever think about that? How many problems you solve for me? I don't know what the fuck I'm doing here.

I'll call you and say, this is slip and you go, maybe, maybe, maybe you should do it. Boom, and that's it. You make little adjustments. So now you gotta take these adjustments and put them into your art and what the fuck you're doing. And that's what people never understand. You always start on somebody's co-tail

as horrible as that sounds. You don't think I get it, fuck you Joe, Joe Diaz, I don't give a fuck because in my heart, I know I did something on the side. I wrote my own jokes. Well, I was working with Joe Rogan and I'll fucking get Joe Rogan on the phone right now. How many fucking times have you people said,

Joey, you were supposed to be with Joe? No, I'm doing my own fucking thing because I want Joe to give me that respect. I always wanted Joe to call me and sometimes for me to go, hey, Joe, no, I can't do that weekend. Come on, Joey, get no, because I always wanted Joe to know that I was doing my own work.

I'm doing my own work, brother. I know what you're doing and I'm with you. You know, I got your back, but I gotta take care of this. And he would get off the phone and he'd be mad for a week. But then in a week, he'd call me and go, dog, I'm really proud of you that you got that move here. You got that sitcom or you got that because you and I both know I got no help.

I complain to you all the fucking time. My agency, you know, they're another fucking planet. If I don't do it, nobody fucking does it. So a lot of these people misconstrued what we're doing here. They think that I'm here throwing bottles at you and shit. When we're on the road and you said to me, bro, you want a water? What do I always say to you?

I'll get it myself. You're my equal. I never wanted you to think that you had to fucking get anything or that's not the way it is. The only thing you do for me that I like that you do, that I don't like to do is when you go out and get the gas, I don't want to walk down those stairs.

My knee fucking hurts. But besides that, that's it. You'll never be on my coattails. You contribute to this. You help this, you enhance this. Now you have to figure out how to do this for yourself, how to take this and take what you've learned together and add your own spin and develop your podcast

or take another young comic and go, hey man, I might have an idea for you, but I got a condition. If you fucking quit before six months, I'll sue you for $10,000. And you make them sign that contract and they have to be here at a certain time and they have to have the same discipline

you and I have had. Because I've told you a thousand times. At 26, I would have canceled eight times already at six in the morning. I would have been fucking coked up. So don't ever feel that. Just take what you have and the knowledge you have and go forward.

You'll never be on my coattails. You'll never be on nobody's coattail. That's why I always tell young comics, when you work with somebody on the road, I want you to make your own move. So every once in a while when you call him, you say, home, hey, I'm busy this week. I can't fucking do it.

Where's Tony better? You like that, I got a second. I love it. God damn. I wonder how much I had of that big star. Me too, I'm fucked up too. I wanna be around to pick up the pieces. Watch for the call.

I am. When somebody breaks your heart. Some somebody twice as smart. You're highly. Yeah. You wanna know the hit of this? Oh, sure. Oh, wait, we got it.

For somebody. Frankie, what's up my brother? Joey, what's going on? How are you buddy? I'm good, I'm good. How was Manila? It was, it was just hot, it was hot. It was kind of like the hotel was nice casino like,

and then the rest of the way, some don't mean anything, you know? Yeah, how was the food? In the hotel, it's good, it's all Americanized. And I stepped up to the step I'm gonna eat, you know? How is New Jersey doing right now? Is it still fucking cold? It's fucking cold, man, it's really won't go away.

It won't go away, so I think it's supposed to warm up next week a little bit. My buddy called me today, he goes, Joey, it's still 29 degrees, man. Yeah, dude, I'm real, I'm real. So what's happening, my brother? I wanted to get you on for a long time, you know, just talk about whatever, you know?

You're one of my all time favorites, and after I haven't seen you since the Cubs-Wanson fight, and I gotta tell you, brother, I'm fucking believable, unbelievable, Frankie Edgar. You get better every time you step in that fucking octagon, man. Every time. Thanks, man.

Yeah, you know what, that's what I try to do, and between every fight is just make sure I could beat myself the next time. And Cubs-Wanson is no walk in the park, man. I mean, you just, I remember calling Joe that night and going, Joe, what I want for Christmas is Frankie Edgar against the Irishman, and I tweeted it, and fucking people got pissed off

at me and shit, but you know how we do it, Frankie Edgar? We go straight at that motherfucking lion. That's right, you know that, you know that. I mean, we're gonna get it, we're gonna get it, get it done. No, no, and now you got Uriah Faber next month? Yeah, yeah, May 16th. Oh, shit, back in Manila. You know, he's a great guy, he's a great fighter.

I mean, this is a great fight for you. I read somewhere that for you, this is like a championship fight. I mean, all of them are, all of them are. What are you doing different for this one? Yeah, the same stuff, man. You know, I mean, I've been fighting the top guys for a long time, and I go in there,

I'm expecting them to fight the best of the riders, you know, that's all. And I'm more sure I worry about myself. I see a caught up in what the other guy does, my team maybe a little bit good through the same, but now we just worry about what we do when we go about our business. No, it's, like I said, I've been watching your fights lately.

I watched the other night Jose Aldo was on, the main event, at about one of them. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm talking about. And I tell you, you know, I talk a lot of shit, Frankie, and the truth of the matter is, there's only one fight I've ever placed money on, and that's you. My man.

Me and my wife went in there for the 100th show when you fought the kid that retired, we bet you, and I don't bet anybody, because I loved the sport, I didn't want to ruin it, like football for me, like it's just, every time I watch football now, it's just, I don't watch it no more, because I can't bet it. So I want that to happen to me with the UFC,

because I really loved the, whatever of it. And I know that, I gotta tell you something, a couple of months ago, Connor was fighting Dennis Siever, and I was watching UFC tonight, and I could see, you were just as uncomfortable, I mean, if you coulda, you woulda jumped through that fucking screen and fought him yourself. I mean, I just know the Jersey body language,

you know, you just have that Jersey body language. You can't be right, man, it is tough to watch, you know, I mean, that's the way it goes, you know, and it's a business sport, and I'm learning that, you know. No, it's like me, it's a business, it's not about the funniest guy, this is a business, it's about who they play the UFC and who they, but I'm looking forward to this Uriah Faber fight,

I'm looking forward to whatever happens in July with those two fucking knuckleheads, and then you get the winner of that, you know, I mean, that's the bottom fucking line. Yeah, yeah, it's the first thing going on, obviously, I gotta take care of business with Uriah, but, you know, I go to the hold that bell again, so I'm in a way.

And you're still training at, in Ren Henzos, or are you training there by Uriah? Yeah, I'm in Jersey, I go up there once a while, you know, it's just tough, tough fight, man, but, you know, I'm a real carole meter down in Jersey. Now, from your place, and Tom's River, is it, is that where you're living now? Yeah, Tom's River, yeah.

To Henry, that's where he's at, Henry, New Jersey, I don't even know what the fuck Henry, New Jersey is. Well, no, no, no, he's in, Carter's in, he's in Robbinsville, New Jersey, it's like kind of a trend area. And how far is that ride? It's like a 40 minute ride, 40 minute ride. I've never even heard where that town is at.

Yeah, it's like, it's on the way, it's like off to 195, it's on the way to trend. Now let me ask you this, this kid that I watched yesterday at the Eddie Bravo Tournament, Gary Tonin, you know this guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, he changed with us, he changed with us, he was, he was like, he was in town today, so.

No, because he's a star, man. Oh my God, you know, Frankie, I know a little bit of jiu-jitsu, I go twice a week, you know, I got other things going on, I go down to Hegan, you know, and I'm a white belt, I like, you know, Camoras and neck jokes and shit like that, game jokes. I know nothing, I was telling Lee, let me tell you something,

I never want to become a blue belt, because I don't want people fucking with my feet, and I don't want to touch nobody else's fucking feet. It was like a light block seminar yesterday, I didn't know what was going on, so it was very high level for me to see what was going on, but there was some great matches anyway, but Gary's a fucking pimp.

He is, man, he's not scared to compete against anybody, you know, he puts all his heart in there with anybody, man, he's in breath of the wax. A couple weeks ago, some people were training with him in the city somewhere, and one of the guys wrote, I'm with Gary, I just got a five guys burger, and I fucking went off. You're in fucking New York,

and you get a five guys fucking burger, you could eat one of those scabby burgers anyway, but down the show, I'm gonna sausage and pepper or some shit. That's right, that's right, that's right. I just, this kid Gary, man, he's a, he's a stud, man, you know, I'm wondering if he talks about me, possibly getting down to me, so, see what happens.

Yeah, that was, that was tremendous yesterday. Do you have any questions for my man, Frankie? Yeah, hey, Frankie, my name is Leigh, I produced the show. I don't know if you saw it or not, but this weekend there was a crazy call in Brazil, where the ref called a stoppage, and the guy wasn't even close to tapping. I don't know, if you don't wanna talk about it, that's fine,

but like UFC is like the only major sport where the ref and like the rules are in another organization, like the NFL pleases itself. So it's kind of weird as a fan of other sports to hear Dana White like arguing for no contest. Why, like, why do you think the UFC doesn't have its own rules and its own refs, and I don't understand what would be stopping them from that?

Yeah, I mean, the reason I think they don't have no rules is people don't wanna think like the UFC is fixed in fights, and UFC is telling the judge you're the referee, to do this and do that, that's what I think. They like to keep it as a third party, but I mean, half these commissions, and judge and referee, they need something, because I mean, you see bad guy calls weekly, you know?

Have you ever had a fight that ended with a call like that? Because it must just kill the fighter who loses, and it must mess up the guy who wins, too. He must think he maybe didn't really win. Yeah, and I've never been in a situation like that, but you know, that's unfortunate, man, a lot of people don't really, you put a lot into this, and I think that guy would rather been knocked out

than that happened to him. I can't even imagine, and Joey told, I think it was about Frank, you're right, though, about going fighting in bars in New Jersey. Is that, was that him, Joey? No, no, we were talking about the toughness of the Jersey Shore. The same story I told you about that time in Mr. Breakfast,

when my buddy fought the guy, and I always say that, you know, the Jersey Shore gets fucking shit on by these fucking guys like my friends that will go down the shore on the weekends and park where the fuck they want to, and have barbecues and double park and make noise, and then your family comes over and knocks on the door

that the fucking people rented to us, and then I say something to your parents, and then you gotta, you know, there was always drama. I remember going down, and I'm a fucking, I never create drama like that in front of somebody's house, but I used to always go, somebody fucking lives next door to these people, and they gotta put up with all this shit,

people having parties, and then I got into, I saw the fistfights, and I'm like, you know what, it just makes sense that these guys down the shore have to be fucking tough, because they put up with so much fucking shit, and then as I got old, like, you know, we play football against Brick Township, and you play football against these shore teams,

and these fucking guys, you gotta hit them to fucking knock them down, and I knew this for years, and then you come along. And then you come along, and I'm trying to explain to people, listen, man, watch this guy, because I know these little fucking guys, they're a little small, and they're deceiving,

and they bounce around, but they'll fuck you up. They'll fuck you up, like what you do, you just fuck people up, they're getting transferred, you're a little bobbin', you're a little weave, which is at the top of its fucking game. I was at home trying to punch you, and I couldn't fucking punch you. That's how much you're bobbin' and weavin'

against what's his name, but the Jersey Shore has always meant something, like even wrestlers, they always have great wrestlers down there, you know, it's cold down there, all fucking winter, they gotta stay in, the basketball teams have always been great, and it's like they have this heart that people just, you know, when you fought, what's the fucking guy's name

out of Vegas, that was your team co-tour at that time, I tell people, you gotta hit Frankie with a fucking sink, and then pray you don't get up, and then pray you don't get up, because it's like a toughness that the shore puts in you, you know? Yeah, and I definitely, I definitely got in some scraps over on Seaside over the bridge,

and that kind of the nature, I'm goin' up down here, you know, got the guys from up north comin' tryin' to step on your turf. It's fucking crazy, and they do it every week, and after a while, I know it's gotta be, I saw a fist fight, remember the body in the water slide in Seaside Heights? Yeah, oh yeah.

That you used to put, like you went with your t-shirt off, but if you paid an extra 10 bucks, they'd give you like a body suit, and you did like 30 miles an hour even faster. I saw a fist. Yeah, rainbow rapids in the water. Rainbow rapids, it's not there no more. It can't be.

No, no, they got something different now, but yeah, rainbow rapids. I saw a fist fight there, Frankie, that the kid got hit with a bottle, and he still kept comin'. It was like walking fucking dead. I've seen some shit down the journey, I think for violence, San Francisco's number one

in the Jersey Shore. One time, what's the one up from Lavalette, where it's nice people and stuff? Orly, Orly. Orly or Lavalette, it's next to Seaside. Yeah, Lavalette, Lavalette, there's no next to each other, yeah. I saw a fist fight down there,

that musta took it, it was like 25 minutes. You know, I'm Batman, you see a fight, it takes two fucking seconds, bam, bam, bam. These guys kept comin' at each other. After the shirts were ripped, and they stopped and drank water, they kept fucking fightin' again, you know. They had rounds, they had rounds.

This is a street fight, but they're relentless, and that's, you know, and listen, man, that style, that's what I think people love about you, that's why you're a fan-fuckin' favor, and that's why I wanted you to just call in, so I can tell you that, man, I love you to death, Frankie. I appreciate it, man, I appreciate the love, you know, I gotta represent Jersey, man.

I know you're in a nice weather now, but you know, I can't forget Jersey. Oh, listen, man, I miss Jersey. Jersey is who I am, Frankie, when you talk and look at me, man, I got nothin' but Jersey. I am a walking- Oh, I can tell, I can tell.

Oh, my God, when I came for, you know, and then people, the Italians love me, because they're all about mama. So when my mama died, they fuckin' took me in. You know, they just took me in, and you got the Irish, the Italian, a couple Germans, a couple Jews, you put that all together, there's always one black kid.

We always had one black kid. Hey, hey, hey, you got the token black, I got it. You got the token black guy, and they all mix up. Hey, when are you comin' back out here? Do you have C tonight? Oh, I don't know, probably after my flight, you know, I'm gonna stay at it until from May 16th,

and I'll definitely be out there, do you have C tonight, somethin' like that. When you come out, man, I like it to see you, maybe you come on and talk to us. I know it's late over there in Jersey. I don't wanna take me to town. Yeah, that'd be great, man. Yeah, I just wanted for you to call and let you know,

I love you, we're cheerin' for you here at the church. We got you, and that's it, man, you're one of us. I appreciate it, man, you guys are the best, man, you're funny as shit, man, so it's a pleasure bein' on the show. Hey, you too, and I'll watch you. I'll see you somewhere. I'll be in Vegas Memorial Day weekend.

Hopefully you'll be out there fuckin' around. Yeah, it won't be bad, we'll celebrate it. All right, man, I love you, Frankie. Thank you very much for takin' the time out. All right, brother, be good, man. I'll see you May 16th, knock him dead, brother. Got it. What's up, Lisa, yeah?

Not much, buddy. How you feelin', you still a little high? I'm very high. Give some shout-outs and shit. My main man Quinn from Ottawa, Alex Henriquez, Happy Birthday, Lewis Robertson, Benito Lugo, Jamil Haddad, Mike Wilson, Sean Barrett, Phillip Craig, and Chung Kennedy, I love you motherfuckers,

you know what I'm sayin'? Did you see the video of Bruce Lee Casaris doing a bare-knuckle fight in like a park? No, I didn't see that. Oh my God, let me pull it up. Is he still in the UFC? I'd said he was, I didn't say another fight, but this was a few years before the UFC.

Let me pull it up, it's hysterical. I wanna thank some of the people that, most of the people that watched the Harry Shafir show on Comedy Central the other night. I got a bunch of great remarks from you people and great feedback, you know, this is not happening show. You know, I don't know what the numbers were or whatever, but I gotta tell you somethin', man.

It was fuckin' great gettin' that story off my chest. I hate watchin' myself. I've always been, don't worry about it, Lee, don't worry about it, I've always been a big, I've always been a big against watchin' myself. I fuckin' hate it, Lee, I hate, you know, Lee always stays on me at the Augustina, but you don't tape your sets,

Joey, you shoulda taped what you said. I fuckin' hate listenin' to myself. I hate that whole thing. So I'm at the Comedy Store Thursday, I'm at somewhere first, and then I go to the Comedy Store and do a set. You went to the Laugh Factory? I think I was at the Laugh Factory.

Yes, I was at the Laugh Factory, and I go up to the Comedy Store, I do my set, and I get in my car, and I go home, and as I fuckin' walk in the door, my wife was taping Comedy Central at 9.30, she went to bed. So Comedy Central had been left on. So basically I walk in, go in the bathroom, take a pee, I always gotta pee when I walk in.

I wash my hands, I go get some coffee, and when I walk out, Ari's bringin' me up. So I watched it, and I forgot what I had said, as I usually fuckin' do. You know, Zorida was this lady who just was a dear friend of my mother's, man, and she, her and my mother were just super tightly, and they would talk for fuckin' hours,

and I used to, you know, when I was a kid, there was only one phone in the house. Right. You know, so there was times I wanted, or sometimes, and I'm lying to you guys, I had a phone in my room, but my own phone number, but there was times I wanted to make another call, there was the call waiting,

so I would go in the kitchen, and my mom would be on the phone. I'm like, fuck, cuz me and Whitey would try to put her bed in. So I would have to call my bookie from the other thing, and then tell Whitey on the phone, the line is six and a half, whatever the fuck it is. That hysterical.

Yeah, we were kids, you know, we didn't fuckin' know, so she would always be on the phone when she was around. I used to get pissed off. Mom, get off the fuckin' phone. How long can you talk to somebody for? She was always that attitude, you know? This lady fuckin' came through, man. She just was my mother's dear friend,

and they used to laugh at night, and the last six months of my mom's life, it was really sad. She was really sad about losing my stepfather, and the bar, and all this shit. She was worried about her future, and how she's gonna make a living, and Zerayda made it all better.

Like, Zerayda would just come to the hospital, come to the house, and just make it all better. My mom had a surgery about a month and a half before she died on her stomach. Something was bothering her. Like Felicia Crohn's or whatever that is. Okay. So something was bothering her, so she got surgery.

So Zerayda was there. Zerayda was just always around, you know? And it was funny, she had an apartment in Spanish Harlem, but she lived in Long Island. She had that much money. Zerayda had made millions from what I heard. She was sending a bunch of money to Cube every month, and she was sending money in a bank.

You know, she had a drug operation over a bodega on 113th Street, and she had security on the street. She had security in the fucking hallways. Zerayda was a badass bitch. You know, she had the drug down. She had the drug trade down. She had, I think she had another apartment in the area. So what she would do is she'd get there like a 10,

and she'd prep the drugs for the day, and then sell drugs to like four. Then she'd get so fucked up, she'd take a nap for two or three hours. And then she'd come back and work from seven till like two in the morning selling coke. And little bags of heroin. You know, and I would go over that as a kid,

and I'd make believe I didn't know what she was doing, but I knew what the fuck she was doing. Fuck. I think the greatest thing about this story, and I watched it on TV, and then I watched it on YouTube. Tell me if I'm wrong, but I don't think you really worked this out. Did you?

Did you? I know you planned it, but you never did it on stage. No, I can't do it on stage. You the fuck would tolerate that? I think a lot of people, when they were watching it, me included that moment when you got sort of caught up, and it was, if I was gonna make a sit like us and advertise about that show to get that show picked up,

like that moment is I'm assuming what Ari wants. Because there's no one I know who could watch that and not get choked up. But then right after, you do the line about Zarada giving your mom Coke in the casket, and the entire room explodes. Cause like the camera, you can see yourself about to cry, and like the whole audience is just silent.

The reason I could tell was a good story. The bartenders were watching. If you look in the back of the video, the bartenders at the strip club were leaning on the bar just watching. And it was, it was great. It was like, it was amazing to see. I was in the moment.

I had to be in the moment because I never told that story publicly, nevermind. I never told my wife this. This is something I lived with for 20 fucking years that I didn't do right by this woman. I had not done right by her after everything she did for me. You have no idea how many nights like I said,

I would just make up a fucking story. Like at 11 o'clock at night, I'd be with you fucked up with no money, and I'd call her up. You got a phone, bro? Let me go on to New York. No, my mother's gonna know. Don't worry about it.

Let me go on to New York. I would call up. She'd be there, and she'd go, what are you doing, nothing, man? Listen, I just got a call. I got to go to the University of Michigan. I'm gonna look at the school. There was no fucking University of Michigan.

There was no school. She would go, what do you need? Three, four hundred. Can you get over here right now? I'm gonna be here for another hour. I'll be there in fucking 20 minutes. I get over there, I get 300, 400 from her. I said, listen, let me get a gram of coke

so I can sell my friend in the car. There was no fucking friend in the car. It was my, for me, she'd give me the gram and go keep the hundred dollars. And I'd fucking snort the coke. You have no idea. You have no idea how bad I feel about this. And towards the end, I was horrible.

I was just a kid. I didn't know. I was just a kid. What do you think, because you've told stories where you beat other drug dealers, and you've said you don't feel bad about it because they're drug dealers, what do you think it is about her that?

I didn't beat her for money. I beat her because she loved me. She really loved me. You have no idea. She loved me, but she loved my mother. She didn't call me Cocoa, and she didn't call me Joey. She called me Cosita.

What's that mean? That means little thing. The only other thing that was little in her life was her Chihuahua, and that was Cosita. Cosita means like this little thing. Like, well, not Cosita, this little thing. So that's what she used to call me. I mean, she used to babysit me when I came from Cuba.

She used to, my mom used to go, I used to leave you with her, and it was horrible because she would get tanked and let you do whatever you wanted. She would let you. Like, if you wanted a piece of chicken, she'd go buy you 20 pieces of chicken. If you want a candy, she took in, boy, you candy.

It just wasn't healthy, so I couldn't leave her with you anymore. She loved me, man. She loved me. She watched me grow in front of her eyes. She watched me become a man. Then she helped me become a man. But then it's like anything else, the drugs.

Somebody wrote me today, and I told them what addiction is. Addiction means fucking your friends, and you love ones. You know, mentally, physically, spiritually, that's what you do. You weigh on your friends. Every time you see me, Lee, as much as you love me,

you know I'm gonna hit you up for 50 bucks, or a ride, or, you know, and you like doing coke too, but eventually you're like, Joey, that's it. You know, I don't mind taking a ride with you and fucking around with you, doing a bump of you, but that's fucking it. And as I was watching me tell the story, because it sucked me into, you know, it sucked me in.

Just, I was very proud. I was very proud that I kept her alive. I kept her right alive in my heart. Every time I make a move, I always think, Jesus Christ, you know, I wish she was alive to see me doing this. To see me not doing coke, and not being decevious, and not being a bad person.

I wish she would have got to see me. And I know that she's somewhere watching me with my mother right now. She passed. I got the news when I went to Miami. My godmother is friends with her niece, but she didn't really know what had happened. She just thought I disappeared

the same way she disappeared. She lived three years after that. I just had no contact with her, you know? And I can't lie to you, when I went over it, when I went back to New York in 91, I went over into the city and I walked around and I asked questions. Even six years later, I still,

it bothered me not making it right with her. That's what it was. I feel by telling the story and letting everybody know what I did and how I acted, I made it right. She was a funny lady, man. She was a ballsy fucking lady, man. Her and my mother were two women that I have the utmost respect for

because of the valid, the balls they showed. You know, they really did. She was a woman selling drugs in the 70s in Harlem with no husband. She didn't want a husband. She didn't want a man around her. She didn't want nobody around her. She had nothing.

It was just her and that fucking Chihuahua and a gun in her purse. She had like two or three guns on her at all times. Jesus. She always got three fucking pieces on her at all times. She always had one in her underwear, one in her purse and one in her bra, like a 22, like a little one.

A tits were huge as she put it right over here. And sometimes the barrel, not the barrel, but the thing with the handle stuck out. So she would put it right over here so she would pull it at you when you went to buy drugs. She was just, it was a different time. It was a, you know, and she loved me, Lee. She really fucking loved me,

which is something that is rare when like a friend of your parents really loves you. They weren't sisters. They weren't, they had no blood between them. They were dear friends and it taught me how to be a friend. It taught me what you need to be a friend. You know, people always, I don't have no, you know, the show Friends Ruined America.

And I would have gone into that more that night on stage, but I only have 15 minutes because when I wrote it out that was part of the write-up. The show Friends Ruined America because it lets everybody think that they have to go out with eight people up. Life is too complicated to have eight fucking friends and to appease all of them and to be nice to all of them

and to get along. That's why I said, you know, when you have a grandma school friend, you have two or three fucking friends, you can take over everything. Because whatever you need, I can call you, Lee, and go, hey, Lee, I got this problem. It's not money, it's whatever.

I'm getting a job as an editor and I'm gonna do another podcast, but I can't. You know what I'm saying? That's what friends do. They take care of each other's mental dilemmas. They ease the mental dilemmas. When you call me with the tax thing, I talk to you. I busted your balls about going to jail, you know?

A little bit. So like three days you call me, all right, I got a new deal for you. You'll only do seven years, but then you go to a halfway house. Yeah, no, no. But that's what friends do. When people misinterpret,

they want to have all these friends and have these parties and have all these people and they're like, why would you want to do that? I don't want fucking 80 friends. I just need three motherfuckers to make it work. And they did. And the fact that she came every weekend, Lee. Lee, I can't do shit every fucking Sunday.

I would meet her at one. I would have to get a ride to Otto's Bar and Grill on 30th and New York Avenue. I'd walk in, it would be her, another lady, two other ladies and two guys and she'd take a cab from New York with everybody. And the bar would be hot and people would go there to meet her,

like my mom's friends. And she'd be buying drinks, giving out bumps. There was a hot dog place in front of it, that sad bread hot dog stand. We'd be out there eating hot dogs. Then we'd call a cab or she'd keep the cab from New York and get him in. Come on, get out of the car, come inside and drink with us.

The fucking cab drive would be at the bar drinking. Then we'd take a ride down to the cemetery, hang out, do our thing. That was a half hour. She'd give me cash. She'd talk to me about my week, what I was gonna do, whatever. And then she'd leave me there

because I lived right around the corner from Wheathawken Cemetery. And then she'd go right back to Long Island. Or sometimes she'd go back to Harlem, close out the night and then go back to Long Island. She did that every weekend. For somebody who was no blood to her, that's loyalty. That's friendship.

That's something that's unheard of today. You know, I saw, and I talked about Marilyn and I spoke about the Jeff Valdez fucking thing. How I fucking almost killed him. And I finally got that guy's spittin' his fucking face two years later. Now, I wanted to talk to you about that. That was my favorite part of your story

because you could have ended it at the Z thing, about that you weren't able to be there for her. That could have been the end of your story. But you took it and you brought it back around the other way, which I haven't seen. Storytelling comedy is really big right now. And I don't see a lot of people doing that. So for that part, people have been tweeting me

because apparently I laugh at a certain point when no one else does. My favorite part of any performance you ever have is the thing that I don't think anyone else notices. Or only a couple of people notice. Or stuff that makes you laugh on stage because everyone else is hearing the jokes for the first time.

So, but you doing that extra bit about Marilyn was so cool. You thought about the story, you must have thought about the story for a long time. Well, I didn't think, I thought about the friendship story. And let's be honest here. Let's be fucking totally honest here. I liked the Marilyn, the whatever story.

And then I heard for a few months, I've been hearing through friends that a couple of people said that they couldn't work with me because of what I had done at the comedy store that night, to Jeff. A lot of people said, you know what, don't work with him because the whole town knows about it. Then I got to do business with him.

And Hollywood is a place, this area here, I don't know if society, I don't know what's going on out there. I know this place here, we live in a place where you can't tell somebody they're doing something wrong. These Hollywood people, these directors and these writers and whatever, you can't say to them, hey man, don't talk to me that way.

You know, you worked the fucked up bosses in Santa Monica, they talk to you certainly, you're like, do me a favor, don't talk to me that way. Most people would go home mad and then come back and they'd say, Lee, I'm very sorry for talking to you that way, you're absolutely right, I don't deserve that. Here in Hollywood, people get pissed off at you if you call them out.

Jeff had been running people amuck for years, he had been a scumbag to people for years. Primarily his own people, his own Mexican Latin friends, he was being a scumbag, he had his favorites, but to everybody else, he was a fucking shithead too. And I had noticed it, he was a shithead to me, he did something to me that hurt me fucking tragically, but it made me a better standup.

What'd he do? He wanted me to showcase for something, he made me showcase for a festival like four or five times clean and then he told me I didn't get the festival and then he added a dirty show to really rub salt in my fucking wounds. I had just got to Hollywood, I wasn't prepared for that. I still live life, how men live life,

when I tell you I'm gonna do something, I do it. I got here and these aren't men, these are all a bunch of fucking nomads that have no soul. So they don't get, they're not accountable for their words, they're not accountable for their actions. They always blame it on somebody, I wasn't me, it was the producer, it was you you motherfucker, it was you you cocksucker.

So when he did that to me, after that I got numb towards him, I didn't really, because I knew I wanted to always smack him. Marilyn kept fucking around with him and kept getting burnt by him. Marilyn kept fucking around with him and Marilyn needed the money, so Marilyn would dick around with him for dollars and cents. I wouldn't, I just said I'm gonna avoid that fucking guy,

but I'm never gonna forget what he did. Tonight Marilyn, the weekend Marilyn died, it's a truth, I hadn't snorted coke. When I got the news that Marilyn died, I hadn't been clean for four days, by the time they did the wake, I was clean a week, I was clean seven days by the time I went down there, I was furious, when I seen him down there, I went off.

I threatened him from the stage, I told him, hey get the fuck out of here, I'm gonna fucking stab you, and then I left. And I was furious. I never thought about it that way. When I found out that people were mad at me for sticking up for a friend of mine, whether it was a wake or whatever the fuck it was,

it hurt my feelings, because I wanted them to know the story, where it came from. That's why that story wouldn't have been a whole story if I wouldn't have told the wake story. If I would have just went up there and told the story about Marilyn, it wouldn't have sold. It had to compare, it had to compare it to what made me,

like me beating the coke for a week was huge. But me sticking up for fucking Marilyn that night was even bigger in my world. You know why? Because it taught me that over the years, the addiction had hidden my manhood. And it did. Don't get me wrong, I was still an asshole

when I still stuck up for myself, but I didn't stuck up for my, it was a personal stick up for myself. I wouldn't stick up for myself against the industry. And when I did that, it set me fucking freely. It made me a better fucking man. I remember the drive home going, holy shit, I haven't been this person in 30 fucking years.

What happened to this person? What happened to this person? I thought, would he believe for that? Lee, if you called me when I was a kid and said, you had a problem with eight motherfuckers, I said, get in the car, we're gonna go down there and deal with eight motherfuckers. Even though I knew I was gonna lose,

I still won because we went there and stuck up for ourselves. And sometimes, bro, there could be eight people on the corner, they say, you stick, when eight guys are standing on a corner, or six guys, or five guys, and two guys pull up in the car, and one guy's been abused, and the other guy shows up. These five guys are thinking,

what's this fucking guy thinking? But he's stepping up to us by himself. He's got something we don't know about. So sometimes doing that levels off the playing field in people's minds, he's got something. He may have a fucking gun. For a long time, when I was in LA, I stuck up for myself as a human,

but I didn't stick up for myself as a comedian. And after that night with Jeff, I stuck up for Marilyn and myself, and I got in that car in the drive home. No matter how bad I wanted to, I might cry on the drive home because I hadn't had those feelings, those feelings that come out.

Oh my God, now it's Coco again. This is Coco Diaz. This is not Joey Diaz no more. Some ha ha ha guys. You guys for years, so Joey Diaz. Now the people you see is Coco Diaz. This is how I was raised. These are my thoughts.

This is what my beliefs were at a young age. So by me sticking out for him bro, it meant the world to me. Do, let's say it's true that some people won't work with you because of what you did. Does any part of you regret it? Not at all. I don't give a fuck because that eliminates the mental man.

I don't have to do business with them. We don't have the same beliefs. They look at the same, they can say, hey man, it wasn't classy. There was a write up two days later in the LA Times and I still have it at the house, hidden somewhere. Terry's got it in the book.

About what you said? About everything that happened at this weight. Somebody, there was a writer there from the LA Times that covered the weight. And he put Jeff's name in it and Jeff tried to fight the LA Times. They told him to fuck off that they were gonna check the allegations and they checked them and they said,

yeah, the kid's right, fuck off. And he got super pissed. So that's what really, I hit him where it fucking hurt. Like I really got him. They came out in the news and everything. Came out in the LA Times, man. Front fucking page. Me on the stage pointing at a fucking weight.

Oh, they got a picture of it? Oh yeah, they got a picture of it. Oh, I'm gonna have to look for it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's crazy. Oh, you should bring it in. So that's what it was. It was more about me becoming me.

But after I did it, then I remember my, it was a writer at the weight choking. Yeah. Mr, whatever his name was. He was a good dude, bro. That dude that ran the funeral bar in Jersey, I muddled whatever his name was. He was a good Cuban dude.

And Zariah the fucking choked him because they put the wrong dress on him. That's what got me choked up. Once I started saying that story because I hadn't thought about it. It was a thought, not a reality coming out of your mind. Put the wrong dress on my mother. You should have seen this woman.

That's what set you off, really? That's not what set me off. That's what sets Zariah off. Well, no, no, no. But I'm saying that's what made you get emotional? Yeah, just saying it that night. Saying that whole reliving it. Like I was there.

I was at that wake again. I still remember going outside and coming back in. It was a Sunday night, maybe 12, 30. I still remember that, Lee. And smelling the formaldehyde like that scent never got out of my nose and just sitting in the back and walking in while Zariah was petting her. I'll never forget that memory.

That memory is etched. I still remember Zariah had the brown dress on. It was just the most time. She was kneeling down and she was just touching her hair and she was touching her cheek. And she was just telling her that, you know, and I said it wrong with the thing. What she was saying, that her world wouldn't be the same.

Like my world's gonna be completely different when I am never gonna get to talk to you again in the daytime. We're never gonna giggle about this or giggle about the Mets or talk about this guy's fucking ugly cock. You know, when she was saying all these things to her and I was remembering my mom laughing.

And I just broke that. And then she just said, I'm gonna take care of your son. And I came over and we all hugged. You know, I hugged Zariah and kissed her and she was crying and I was crying. But I could see how much it hurt her that night. And then I went away for a corner and I did my thing. And maybe an hour later, I was sitting there by myself.

Just by myself. It had to be maybe two in the morning. They were gonna bury her. I was gonna go home at about six, take a shower and put a suit on and come back. And about an hour later, I don't know where the fuck Zariah was. I just lost it.

I just lost it. I fucking lost it. I couldn't believe she was gone that night was, you know, you go through all the motions all week and you think you're gonna do okay. Right there, I lost it. And that was it. I never lost it again.

The next day when they threw dirt on her, I lost her a little bit. The next day Zariah went to the city when they buried my mom. She went to the city after we went and we all ate some right? Right, yeah. And then she went to the city.

She got half her stuff. She trusted her drug business with some minions and she came and stayed with me until Thanksgiving. So I would be okay. Thanksgiving was when I moved with the vendors. Thanksgiving day. And then she went back to New York to resume. So for three weeks, she stayed with me

after the wake, after the funeral. Just me and her. She would cook for me. She'd make me breakfast. She'd wash my clothes. She'd make sure I had money every day. That's what she did. She lived in my mother's house with me.

You have no idea. This is- You've never said that before. No, no, no. This is something that people would never understand. This is why when you think you have a good friend or you think you're a good friend, you have to re-qualify.

You really do. You have no fucking idea. She stayed with me. I still remember the last night I took acid. Well, the last night she was staying with me. I took acid and I came home and the blob was on. Okay. And I was giggling by myself.

And she came out of the room. She's like, what are you doing? And she goes, are you okay? Are you on something? And I was like, no. And then I remember walking over and getting this girl and walking her back to my house. And we were swapping spit.

Like pulled the pants off and she had a period. A fucking pad popped up. And on the way back to the rider came out of the room. And she's like, what happened? That was quick. And you know, the rider was a fucking trip, man. But a lot of people don't know this. She stayed with me till Thanksgiving.

And then I went moved in with the benders and that was that. That's so, that's crazy. Like I never, I've never heard of your story, essentially. Like maybe in my time now, if somebody, like you just go with a family member, like the next, like I'm shocked you didn't go with your stepdad. Like it just going from friend's house to friend's house.

I had too loose of a life, Lee. I had an open door at my house. I came when I went, I went when I wanted to, you know, I had a phone, I had an air conditioner, I had cable TV in my room. My mom had spoiled me. I was an only child. How the fuck was I only gonna live in New York City,

make new friends, transfer high schools to live on the fourth floor with no fucking elevator, with Juan, with mice in the apartment, because Juan was a cheap fuck and he left food out at night and shit like that. I couldn't do it. I couldn't fucking do it. If I went and lived with Carmine,

Carmine made you be in the house by nine o'clock. You had to have fucking A's on your report card. He would check your eyes when you came home at night. He breathed Elijah. You know, at that age, Lee, I was too fucking loose. It was too late. I wasn't gonna, ah, I gotta be home at nine. Are you fucking kidding me?

I wouldn't go out till nine. But in hindsight, I don't know. I did the right thing. I moved with the benders. I did what I wanted. They threw me out a year and a half later. That was it. That's my story.

You never thought about moving in with Zerater? She lived in fucking Long Island, Lee. That's even farther. Oh, okay, so your friends were very important. Yeah, my friend. I was just starting to, you know, I just was starting to get my shit off. I, you know, to take me all the way to Long Island,

two hours away, that would be monstrous, you know? Always had to live in our drug apartment in Manhattan by myself and go to school in the city. I couldn't do that either. The benders offered a nice place. They had no rules. I could come and go as I went. If I needed 20 bucks, Mr. Bend the Game,

the game would be 20 bucks. If I needed a ride, John would give me a ride. Or the boys would give me a ride somewhere. I was okay, man. I had a great support. I had a Steve O'Villow, I call those cantero. I had great people around me. So, you know, things worked out how they did.

I had Zerater. I didn't want to move somewhere. It was going to be hard, you know? Eddie Bravo always says, Joey Diaz likes easy shit. That's why I don't go to a 10 planet downtown. It's 45 minutes out of my fucking day each way, you know? It's too much. I like simplicity.

I don't like driving. You know, I would have gone to the St. Anthony's in Jersey City, but that means I would have had to fucking take a bus, two buses. Now, fuck you. That's too much to get my day started, you know? So, that's what really happened. Let's read some spots and I'll get the fuck out of here.

What do you think? Unless you got another question? No, I don't have another question. Fuck. You want to eat some other pieces? No, I don't want to eat another piece of it. Do you want to talk about what happened when we were in Steve last night?

Or do you want me to just- What happened when you were in Steve last night? Yeah. You licked his ass off? I should have. No. But he was very nice and he invited me over. Like, who's having, oh my God.

Again, no, we're talking about friends. Right. Lee's always been the same problem I have. You know, Lee thinks that the world hates, like I did at that age, you know? Cocaine was what gave me balls. It's what gave me balls and alcohol, you know, which you don't do.

So, you'd rather stay home alone than go out and feel, that's the same feeling I have. That's why I don't go to bars. That's why I don't do anything, Lee. But it's not that I'd rather. I've always wanted to, like, you know, there's always a guy, and you're kind of like it, where it gets along with everybody

and can go over and talk to anybody. I love doing, like, a live podcast when there's gonna be a bunch of people there. But when Steve told me that there were gonna be, like, four people there who were already friends and that he invited me to go just by myself, that's petrifying. I would love to do that.

I would love to have a bunch of friends that I saw all the time. But I was thinking of any excuse not to go. You have to go. Fuck, you don't sound familiar to anybody. Any excuse, not that. I'm the same fucking way. I sit at home sometime,

no, I don't wanna go, they're not gonna like me. Why am I gonna drive down there? I'm gonna bomb, you know. My biggest fear is to, especially in that sort of situation, is to be extremely out of place. Like, with people who are already friends, I don't, because I've always been that guy

who's quiet and doesn't talk much, but I don't wanna ever be out of place or be in true, like, somebody will, oh, why do you invite that? Like, that's my worst nightmare. And the thing is, most people probably wouldn't think that. And I'm just putting it on myself. How was the state?

Oh, it was great. You called me up and you're like, you know, they invited me over. I don't know, and they go, what are you gonna do? You're gonna go back home like a fucking momo. I go, go home, pick up some stars, and bring them over and be a good neighbor, like all state.

And you went over, you broke out of your fucking rusty cage, and you had a great time with kids your age. You know, with kids your age, that you could talk about and you had shit to, and that's what we, listen, I get a bunch of emails from people that say to me, you know, the podcast helps, I'm depressed. That's, I do the same.

Then I sit at home and go, I got no friends. You got a ton of friends. You just don't want to get in the car and go nowhere. You feel insecure, you're feeling not gonna like it. You feel like there's gonna be hot chicks there, and you're gonna feel like, you don't belong. I do that every fucking day. That's every fucking day in my world.

I was thinking about that with Paula. I don't think I ever once went up to a girl at a bar and like asked for her number. I don't think I ever did that. Because I just, one on one, and I think a lot of people go through it. I don't know if I'm socially anxious or have that social anxiety.

I don't know what it's called. But any sort of thing like that, it terrifies me. Like it's, I would rather go do a live podcast or do this podcast or, it was crazy because I got recognized at Fry's last night. This cool dude who was a cashier helping me, he recognized me from the podcast. Which, it feels, it's great.

I thought I was gonna be an editor. Now you have it in. Now you have something to talk about. Right. I get what you're saying. Well, not even that, though. But just, he had just invited me and I met this cool dude I haven't in with

and he recognized me. That's like the highest thing and yet, I'm still too, I was petrified to go over to my friend's house and have a steak. I was like, I was thinking it was gonna be terrible. And it was great. But that was just. You know, our insecurities kill us, Lee.

Oh my God. Lee, I'm worse than you are. You know, I get invited. I used to get invited to all these movie things and shit. I would go home and go, people gonna look at me. They're gonna think that why is he here? He looks like a criminal. You know, look, I can see kidnapper written

all over his face. So I just say, fuck it. I'm not gonna fucking go out. And then people call you next thing. What were you? A bunch of people were waiting for you. You get kind of upset with yourself. I do this all the time.

That's my MO, Lee. So don't feel bad. That's why, when I say, go get your fucking, go over there and go, go. They're inviting you. They wouldn't have invited you. They didn't want you over there. Yeah, that's true.

It was Dave Taylor and Ari and Steve Simone and Rick Ingram and they're fucking kids, man. Just like you. You know, like I said, Lee, it's time for you to fucking go out there and spread your wings. Fuck out of there. Fuck out of there.

They ain't gonna go down for you. You're in a car fucking five hours a week. Yeah. They ain't paying you for that. They ain't paying, they ain't paying for your fucking gas. Trust me. You gotta get what you got. Work from strength.

Get your podcast up. Get different fucking guests. Interview news weather people. Interview the minister of Nattorahu. The guy from Israel. Let's get some Israelis in this motherfucker with machine guns. That'd be cool. Let's get an Israeli weapon salesman.

Let's get fucking, you know. Let's get some people that your age group wants to listen to. That's what we do. We just hear talking. We're just having a conversation that's truthful and honest. And you know, you've never, ever, ever, have I ever in all this four years of room working together, have I ever thought you were on my coattails?

I've always thought that you were learning. And what you're learning from me, I'm learning from you. The same way I learned from these fucking people. You know, I went to work. Did two hard workouts this last weekend. I went to Jiu-Jitsu Friday. Today I took the day off and I felt guilty all day.

You know why I feel guilty? Because I want to lose weight. I want to work with these people who watch the show. You want to lose weight. Just focus on this podcast, how we can make this one better and your own better. And you're never on my coattails, buddy. You just, and that's, don't ever feel that way

when people offering you a handout or help. I always felt insecure about that. This guy thinks, no, you know, it's only going to make me a better comic. If Gabriel calls me and says, I want you to do it, it's only going to make me a better comic. I don't give a fuck who I'm opening for. I never let that ego fuck you.

I'm a comic. I'm supposed to get on fucking stage. That's what I'm supposed to do. If Joe wants to put me up, I could call Joe right now tomorrow and I'll do every fucking tour date with him if I wanted to. Hesitate and he'd pay me great

and I'd have a great time and we'd giggle and we'd learn, you know what I'm saying? I just don't want him to be that guy. So do what you do, Lee. Make me fucking very proud to fucking have this out of the work where you cock sucking. Let's reach the sponsors. Let's get the fuck out of here

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