Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #275 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt 4 - 20 special

Episode Date: April 21, 2015

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio.   To contact Lee about podcast consulting email him at [e-mail] This podcast is brought to you by:  Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. Iron Dragon TV. A New Roku channel with all the best martial arts films. Use Code word joey for two free rentals. HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for a 20% discount Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by using code word joeydiaz. Music:  Luv To Luv Ya - Timbaland and MAgoo I Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet Taking Care Of Business - Bachman-Turner Overdrive Recorded on 04/20/2015

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The day the devil was buried in sea. Oh Shitly kick this motherfucker Lee Timon Magoo they have me motherfuckers taking you back to the cave What April 20th motherfuckers Hitler's birthday I was just thinking about that what if Hitler's in hell right now He thinks everybody's smoking dope celebrating his fucking birthday that ego maniac

He's probably up there right now fucking go look at all these people celebrate my fucking birthday He doesn't know it's just a small select the fucking confused People and fucking he's just meant the Jews are still some fucking on a bullet some land. What's happening, baby boy? Nothing sure to what's happening now people. Thank you for coming April 20th the day the devil was buried at sea stuffed in a garbage can Taken out fed to the sharks God knows what the fuck happened to him fuck the devil. What's up, brother? How was your weekend? Great? I had a

great weekend Paula is In the middle of law school finals, so I saw her Thursday night and Then we just yeah, we just kind of hung out. It was fun. So she got one more year left after this year Yeah, she got one way when she graduates next June or whatever Yeah, she graduates in like May and then she has to study for the bar. What is the bar like late summer? I think I think it's like so all summer long. She studies for the ball. Yeah You'll be helping them with quits cards and shit. I don't know if I'm gonna see her to be honest your fucking say you'll figure out

Fuck Anyway, I want to thank the Houston improv and the city of motherfucking Houston surrounding areas for great shows this weekend We had some great times from Bobby and his beautiful girlfriend the fucking ookey spooky To all the rest of the fucking church savages were there at heart. It was a great Houston's still a great city But it's it's something's happening across the country statewide that I nationwide But I see a fucking traffic is doubled in that city really yeah traffic is fucking horrendous man Traffic is doubled or tripled in Austin, you know, I haven't been in Dallas in a while, but it's a it's fucking Boggling that everywhere you go now. It's bumper to bumper bumper to fucking bumper

I wonder what it is. I wonder if maybe gas prices so everyone People moving to Texas because of the oil, you know, there's working tech, you know, people chasing work right now in this kind Yeah, so they go where the work is. I don't know. Maybe it's that you know, you got a San Jose is a little bit of traffic Sacramento's got a little bit of traffic You go to the bigger cities. There's a lot more people. So it's bumping a bump and no matter where the fuck you go You know, I always wondered what that was like because I I just I really had three choices stay in Boston Go to LA or New York. Those were my three options I've always wondered how like if I went to

Universe be you Boston University had a business degree and just like sent applications all around the country and then what if I got a job in Missouri like one of my one of the kids I went to high school with got a job at Churchill Downs He's from fucking Sudbury now. He's at Churchill Downs doing like IT. I'm just like that must be kind of weird At least I knew I was coming to LA or New York Everywhere else. It's just like I'll go anywhere. So your question is what if you would have gone somewhere else completely different? Well, not even just that. I actually know what I was thinking of and this is kind of interesting

When I interned out here the summer before I moved here I was working nights and I was at a jack-in-the-box drive-through and this woman started beeping at me and She was she saw my Emerson sticker and she was Doug Hertzog's old personal assistant and Doug Hertzog is the president of Viacom like Comedy Central all that stuff and he's from Emerson. So she gave me his number and I called the next day thinking I'd get the receptionist like that's who she said I would get to like schedule like a meeting or whatever Just to say hi and I called and he picked up and I panicked because I was not expecting to talk to him

so I hung up and then I Tried once mobile. I was never able to meet him and Paula and I were talking to the other and I was like wow if I hadn't hung up that call and Had talked to him. I had probably would have ended up working for Comedy Central in like New York or something That's what I wanted to do. I didn't like LA when I interned out here So like me hanging up. I was I was I was high and I was thinking of it like me hanging up that call Like change my life. What do you think you you think he would have given you a job just like that

He's from Emerson and he has a pretty good reputation. He like that's why his old assistant beeped at me I don't think he would have given me totally a job But I think meeting him and I was working for another Emerson alum out here So I think I probably could have got at least an internship in New York You know once you get older you realize your life is a bunch of fucking what-ups. I know like what if you were taking this job? What if you Got sick that day. What if you you know wouldn't got in the car? I mean your life and you For years you ask, you know, you want to know the answers

I mean what if what you know that guy that missed a flight at 9 11 in Boston? Well, there are a couple of them like Mark Wahlberg and the guy from family guy and the guy from probably what the fucks his name Dougie fresh he was Mike Fabian's old roommate missed a flight that morning also coming out of Boston Wow So just you always have these what ifs, you know, what if I would have stayed, you know, you always asked me Joey Why did you you know when I left in 85? I was writing about this over the weekend. I had You know, what if I would have stayed and how long today would have caught up to me and shoot me, you know How long I would have get shot, you know, it was an interesting thing the other day that I carried a gun for five years You know, and it's like when I carried a gun all those years. I bumped into people that carried guns

Where were you like what years? 84, okay In New York through Right before I got arrested for kidnapping I Always carried a gun with me two guns if I was in the car and have a gun in the receipt I'd have a gun on my waist man. What was your thinking? Like what why? Why did you have it craziness and security? I Don't know just thinking I was important thinking that that's four years of

Could have been the end of your life five years five years five years because I started carrying the gun And I November of 84 I started carrying the gun Wow and Then I had it. I had it. I had it and then I sold it before I went to New York And then once I got to Colorado I think I bought another gun maybe in 86 I Bought a gun from some kid on the street. That was like a friend of a friend and I always think about that

That's one of my biggest waters Like how I carry the fucking gun well how confused and dumb I was to carry a gun all those years It must I can't even imagine but it must have like Like doesn't it add stress to your life like because you're just walk because you just must know it's there It's there, you know, it's there. Oh my god, you feel It wasn't that I had a little dick syndrome It was just that I always thought that was my fate So I didn't want to be without one. What are you looking at Lee? What is nothing he's gonna die, but I got back on Jesus Christ

There's always this confusion with you. I like that when you only had one fucking scream It's like you you know, you're sending a rocket ship to fucking NASA or something like that for the moon But I always think of that and there's a lot of people that do fucking. Yeah Guns that carry me. How fucking lucky I was that I never got really pulled over with a gun on me Like a cop never found there in a possession of a fire or nothing Nothing one time I got chased with the gun I threw it out and I thought the cops saw he didn't fucking see it and I learned what people see and what they don't see, you know So you went to jail in Colorado and it was unlucky

That you got caught in in theory. I know it turned your life around, but How many do you good? Did you get unlucky more or lucky more because it seems like lucky? Yeah, I'm very lucky. Wow I feel like I'm very very lucky because that Colorado thing. I mean at the end of the day, there was nobody Untarnished. I mean, I can't say that. I don't know what Vella went through. I Don't know what Tidwell went through. I know what I went through and I'm telling you that this was none You know, nobody got hurt nobody But it could have happened later on in my life when somebody got I'm happy that it happened then and it really slowed me down I think about

I'm coming up on What the fuck it is anniversary at 32 years when I left North Bergen the first time like when I really left and said I'm not fucking coming back here I'm gonna try to get my life together before I created chaos like I left on like medium terms For Florida or for Colorado, I only loan shark money. I owe this bookie like 800 bucks. I mean nobody was really Influenced like nobody had a couple people pissed off at me, but I didn't know where they stood. There was rumors You know, what if I would have stayed that year You know, what if I never would have sent the tape to Adam Sandler

For the oh, yeah, you know, do you ever but think about stuff that you didn't do like like Things you could have gone out for they didn't go out for absolutely something someone talked you into No, I like not going to the blood test for the fucking Marines that morning What if I would have went to the blood test with the Marines that morning? You know that would have been a lifer what I would have what I got a gun to the Marines and pulled the rich gear and got in Trouble for shining shoes and got thrown out of the Marines. I mean, what? This is what your life becomes and you think of what made you make the decisions and some people go crazy I just move on with it. I leave it to fate, you know, like sometimes you just fucking get involved in something

You know, I had an audition this morning and I gotta tell you something These people called me in four times for this fucking movie and I didn't want to fucking go on for it I had my reasons. I just didn't feel it just didn't feel right and I went there and I had a great time at the fucking audition You know, well, I take the film. I don't know. It's gonna be in my busy busy busy time And I don't but what if I wouldn't have gone in for it, you know, there's nights I put my jiu-jitsu knee pads on in my jiu-jitsu pants. I'm like And I think of something I think every time I do go to jiu-jitsu How much of a good time I have in the middle of the class even though I'm sweating and I'm breathing

I'm huffing and puffing and I think I'm gonna die. I said to myself Jesus Christ. I'm happy. I came to jiu-jitsu I learned a pretty fucking cool move. Yeah, so In other words, you don't you never want to live a life of what else But there's always gonna be what ifs because you could go the other way like what if I would have some What if you want to do jiu-jitsu and then I don't know there was an earthquake or or and like that That's there's always something that could happen on the other side. Well, you don't think about it that way. I Never wanted the biggest question mark. I never wanted in my life was what if I didn't do it? What if I always thought that early on I knew that I was

Don't this is nothing to feel good about but I always knew that I was a type of person It's like when I kick work away When somebody offers me a weekend somewhere. I don't like turning it down because I know Somewhere in the future. I'm gonna need that money, right? I'm gonna go while I turn that particular gig down I'm one of those guys, you know but That's what I didn't want to do in my life. I talked to a lot of people I have one friend in particular who you know, she's

She uh sold Her life out for alcohol and we we all know people people listening to the show We've all seen those people that had great opportunities and have sold their life out for alcohol or drugs or blow You know when you when we were talking yesterday on the drive We were talking about that. I saw a few people in Houston that Were funny at comics than I want they had More I mean they had so many things going on in their career. I wish I would have had and

They blew it for fucking alcohol or coke or and I think about myself What made me stop at 44, but even though I Was doing blow I was always making strides You know and I made little strides, and I never went backwards even though I was doing blow It was like the blow was my own personal problem. I turned it into a personal problem In my mind I did let's let's be honest in my mind When you have a problem it carries over into all the other avenues in your life Okay, okay, when you have a problem doing something, you know, I have a friend that won't return calls

And she has a ton of problems in her life If she would just return calls and start with that the problems would disappear every time I talked to her there's a fucking dilemma Every day that I talked to her once a fucking every ten days. There's always a problem in her life But the biggest problem is she doesn't do she doesn't take care of little problems If you take care of little problems the big problems will work themselves out somewhere, you know, there's little things such a little things you know That was always my biggest fear Lee It wasn't when I got into all right. Let's talk about stand-up comedy when I got into stand-up comedy

I got the stand-up comedy not knowing what I really wanted to do. I was just looking for something different There was a hole in my life that I was looking for that had to get filled in more ways than one It wasn't just about a career or whatever. My career was a burglar. My career was a fucking thief I had a fucking career. That's what in my mind. I thought I deserved. Okay, then you've got Then after about a year or so you meet a couple different types of comics you meet comics that are like Bill Burr and then you meet comics that are like Todd Jordan. You know Todd Jordan. I've heard the name I think no, you don't know you heard the name from me. Okay. He's a comic from Denver That was a high-level comic and Denver and that was it

That's where it ended, you know, and there's for every 22 bill burrs or Sebastian Manascapos or Doug Benson There's a thousand guys the funny in these guys that just didn't have the oomph to go over the hump Mm-hmm So it was funny because when I got banned at the comedy works I would go to the count I would take a bus from Boulder to Denver and I go to the county works I go on the back Tuesday night was open mic night But what it really is is the season comics come down and get a few drinks And talk shit in front of the young comics about how they went on

This and this and if you ever do this for me, then you sit there salivate I can't wait to go on the road someday, you know, but these guys would downplay it. Okay But when I was in the room with them Colorado the region would have like let's say, you know, New Mexico Arizona Wyoming that's where borders Colorado, you know, if you look at the map, I don't know I don't have it right in front of me right now So these comics would just work that that area, right?

They would work for triple in those days there will work for the last chains, which is in New Mexico, Tucson and Colorado Springs and they also worked for like The book of that home to suck my dick the one that booked me in Texas and let me go to New Mexico They worked that guy they worked for a guy named David Tribble Who's a great book rather Pacific Northwest nice guy. He's missing in the I don't know how he lost it But he's a great fucking guy And then after that that's your main area in Kansas and they would go to Kansas City whatever club was in Kansas City

And that's what they would work and I remember going back and I don't want people to judge me on this I'm just telling you how I thought and I remember I would go back there and listen to these guys think and I would sit there and go so they're doing a lot more than I'm doing but that's all they're doing That's all they're doing these guys don't strive to be on television. They don't strive to write They don't strive to do comedy on the road When I started comedy it was so many more stand-up comedy shows on TV A&E even had one comedy on the road and they would go to different stand-up comedy clubs And each comedy club would have like a contest to see what four comedians are going that show

A&E had one VH1 had one MTV probably had three stand-up comedy. Yeah, what happened premium blend premium blend all these Stations had all this comedy, but there was a lot more comedy on television. So The level of comics that I saw at the comedy works in those days weren't on those TV shows So you have those level of guys then you have the level guys that do the TV stand-up routines to tonight Chobabba, then you have the guys that do that and do movies, you know I always wanted to be the guy that would do it all like even back then. I'm like, huh Kansas sounds nice for two times, you know, Wyoming sounds really nice to go twice to do comedy But after that, I'm gonna expand my horizons. There was this one guy

Excuse me that did like the San Francisco comedy competition. He would do punchline. I don't remember how they treated him They treated him like an outsider even though he was very funny. They liked him, but they didn't he wasn't part of the fucking cool circle Because he was cool than them. Do you understand the cool people who aren't cool, right? So I always knew like when I got thrown out of Denver comedy works as an open-micro. I Was very happy in a way and that's why when I went back and I did that tour with Chappelle And I saw Wendy Curtis who runs that I thanked her Because at the time when she threw me out, there was so many bad things going on in my life But there was only one good thing and that was comedy

I was keeping my life alive by doing little sets here and there no matter how bad I felt Lee No matter how bad I felt about my daughter or the wife or was going to how broke I was How I was living in this little fucking room and I wasn't really feeling bad for myself at least I was doing blow You know I wasn't living how I wanted to at the age of 30, but at least what I wanted was around me You know, it's like Mick Jagger says you don't get what you want, but you get what you need but I Had so many little bad things going on The only good thing was that I was really pursuing comedy heavy-duty like since I had nothing going on

I might as well put my efforts into comedy and see what happens with it And what happened was I got better and I improved right so when she told me when they threw me out for the sexual harassment thing Yeah, it was sad that they threw me out It was sad, but I had to make a decision How to make the decision to I stay in Denver and just work the other rooms with the comedy Now everybody knows that the comedy works is in a room Listen man as a human being as a person you always want to be in that a click Just because you know that you're gonna improve that much just by walking in them being a part of that

You're gonna grow as a human being and whatever the profession is, you know, let's say you want to be a brick mason, right? Right and this one company. They'll pay you 12 bucks an hour and they'll kind of teach you right But if you go to another company you learn from old Italian dudes and these dudes have been doing 50 years They'll pay you eight bucks an hour, but you'll learn how lay brick the fucking old-fashioned way. What would you do? A lot of people go for the money. Yes, that's a tough decision But guys like me would go for the less money to learn from the best That's how I liked it like that time like that was my mentality like yeah I'm gonna go to McKelvie's and Whitson. They're like fucking sea rooms

What am I gonna get from those guys how to sell t-shirts of the show? How to fucking sell CD, you know, it was that mentality was that road mentality. Yeah, man. We just worked Oklahoma Whatever not even Oklahoma City like they work like a fucking suburb of a suburb And they're trying to fight even though I'm going to Oklahoma City. I'm excited. I'm going for one night It's that mentality. I always thought there was a lot more It's a hard decision speaking of what we're just talking about about making decisions In when you say it out loud like that, you know what decision you're supposed to make But when you're broke 21 22 out of school that three bucks or four bucks extra an hour is sometimes too hard to turn down

Well, it depends what you want to do with your life. I mean Yeah, I'm gonna get four bucks an hour and they're gonna teach me and you're gonna pick up bad habits if you really want to be a brick mason I Really wanted to be a comic and I knew one thing. I didn't want to pull the Louis Lamor I didn't want to be on the speed track. I'm gonna have to come back and redo my act and learn again I didn't want to con nobody when I knew this was for me. I knew this was my last chance to be a fucking human being only I Knew this in my heart at the time. I knew I had nothing I was going into my fucking thirties with nothing. I own nothing. I had no possessions. I just lost a marriage I lost a child. I had a car. I had a mattress. I had some fucking clothes and a little bit of cash

And this is all I had I lived week to fucking week, bro. Don't think that I was at 28 I was better than the other 28 year old, but I knew that for me to grow you want to be around the fucking best So I took a chance once they threw me out of the comedy works Again, what am I gonna do? Hang out in Colorado Springs with those guys? No I picked up my car and I went on the fucking road and I'm hearing about comics living in their fucking cars And just been committing to it. This is a commitment. This is when you know You're gonna have people that tell you they want to learn how to edit and you check with them three months later And they still they've done one thing

But you as an editor know that they're missing it like I when people come talk to me and they say I really want to Stand up. I really want to be funny man. I need your help and I'll just send them on one simple mission Right tomorrow get on stage hit me back after you got on stage. Let me know how you did If they don't hit me back, they didn't really want to do it All right, we've seen that you know, I have seen now people starting podcasts, but then also the crazy I was telling you the other day I Went that barricade saying I went on all those interviews. I learned even back when I was working in high school interviews a lot of times will cancel an interview a couple times

Just to see if you're really interested in the job if you're persistent enough, right? Absolutely I could see that but he's busy call back next week and schedule just to see apps a fucking Louie. Yeah, we did it. It's it's You know, I I know all the reasons why when people come to me for anything now I know the steps at this age if you come to me and say you want to be an electrician Yeah, go do this, you know, that's it. It's simplified now. It's right in your hands Listen, you don't know about some you go to the fucking library and use they yeah when they're Google right or wrong Yeah, but what do you need a library card? Probably that's it. I don't know if they have those anymore Yeah, they have because of North Hollywood library. They got computers in there. Yeah, no one there

They got books and times they got fucking terminals set up in there I mean they got the I'm I don't know how you find the book on a fucking computer I'm still used to the Dewey decimal system with the fucking books and you got to write it down and go to the shelf You know how to do that. I used to when I was a kid now I don't I have to go to the system and ask if they have this book in stock and show fucking look right through it But that was my biggest worry at least I was Not completing something I had done so many incompletes. Oh my god I'd started so many fucking things and quit, you know, I didn't think there was significant enough

But the reason why you and I have seen it here in Los Angeles, especially see In Los Angeles You have this level and you're and the people could walk around and they're able to touch that level Like you were able to bump into David Spade or whoever the fuck you bump into And it gives you I don't know People want to start things But when they what's the result of being here is being on television is being famous as being a limo

So I'm the opening up the door for you people start things that that doesn't happen in 90 days They go on to the next one fuck Yeah, you know when I started the podcast with you wasn't to start a podcast to become rich and famous in six fucking weeks I'm doing this till I fucking die. Yeah, cuz you I mean correct me from long I know you had some sponsors on Beauty and the Beast, but not a lot About money, I wanted to do it to get your word out there So people know where the fuck you're coming from why keep bullshitting people. Yeah, people see you on stage and they say Oh, this guy's a nice guy, but I'm not a nice fucking guy. I don't want to talk to you about fucking Martians

I'm not Joe Rogan like that. I don't know about that shit, you know, people come up to me They'd send me fucking my space shit. Oh, look at this Bigfoot thing send it to Joe I don't give a fuck about Bigfoot. I'm gonna send this to Joe. I'm gonna delete this fucking thing Don't send me that shit. I still get dumb shit like that because they send it to him He don't fucking want it and they said to me like send this to Joe. Go fuck yourself You know, you're not gonna send it to Joe. Oh, why would I do something like that? I get that all the time Yeah, I feel bad, but I'm not I just I forget what most of it is. I guess. Oh, yeah, the shout outs people pictures of hummus Oh, yeah, that's that's funny. No, I like that. Um, I

Actually, sorry that you stream went out again. Um Do you ever think about it and look back and maybe are glad you didn't get something at a certain point because Today, like I just did my first consultation today and it went great and I as I was leaving here. I was like, huh, I wish I'd started this a year ago Like when I first started doing this full-time, but then I was thinking about like I learned so much the last year about it. I Probably would have not done a good job at it and then just stopped doing the business and Now after we're just the only all this is all I did last year to make money. This is the only thing So I actually I like I feel like it was good almost. No, this is what you support

This is the evolution. Look at we were talking about something today And I don't want people to get this the wrong way. I would the fuck I'm saying when I talk about this I talk about how I felt growing up when I was growing up And I'd see people who had whatever type of job. I was impressed. I was impressed with bartending job I was impressed you work in the city as a stock broker. You're a fucking stock clerk or you know, you're a supervisor It's some fucking firm or an attorney that always I always love that I'll tell you what I didn't like. I didn't like being at that place for 60 fucking hours a week All right, and at the end of the year on top of all that you had another problem

You have the problem that You fucking make a ton of money for somebody else Tons and they're giving you insurance And that's it. That's it. You go to them and go listen. I want to see what you made last year I want to see what this podcast make and I'm gonna show it to you Then I'm gonna show it to you not at all. They're gonna say this is what we made and has no concern with you We pay you a salary. You think when you go into those editing people that you work for what are they charge the TV exactly? Yeah, what they charge the TV show for them to pay you what they were paying you. What do you think they charge the TV show?

double So after a while a guy like you goes fuck this, you know what? I'm gonna hustle Man, I got two kids man, I got a wife man, I got this I got that Guess what that means your house was gotta be your games gotta be tighter Yeah, you know that means on the first of the month Joey Diaz Please say at a bunch of motherfuckers started zero I started zero the first of month everything that pops up happens like I said to you today if LAX crashes tomorrow and the fucking

The floor goes up with LAX. I can't fly out of here. Can't fly out of Burbank. What do I do at zero? I got about let's say they close LAX now for 60 days I gotta come up with a fucking new solution for 60 fucking days. I gotta feed my wife and my kid, right? I'll put something together That's called the hustle. That's called believing in yourself I never believed in myself in areas like being good-looking or being very fucking intelligent Or being a tough guy and shooting people. I tell you where I really believed in myself and putting two things together Like you want to put something together on me, but we're gonna put it together the right way

Like I was the type of guy that you come to me and say dog. I got three guys. They want to buy a half ounce of blow Well blow cause sixteen hundred an ounce that means they got to come up with a what they give you They gave me a cash. Are we gonna we could buy the half ounce. They're gonna charge this nine We're not gonna make no money. So guess what we got to do We got to come up with another rate get the ounce to 16 and then we could cut it sell them and we can make a ton of money What do you say leave I only got a hundred and ten in my account. I got 60 so go on that fucking phone Make some calls tell people that you give them a gram for 85 bucks. It's usually a hundred and bring over the fucking money And within an hour you get a for blow you'll get it that's that's that's hustling and next thing you know instead of making

$50 and whenever you made three bills in the gram of blow and You do Lee you know when I first got here to do coke I tell that stupid story about the Whitney Houston thing in those days From 2000 to 2003 guys I did whatever I needed to do to make the fucking ends meet when I first moved in with Terry and the back of my mind I couldn't let it down. I was living in her fucking apartment. I couldn't let it down I kept my little apartment over there, but I was still what am I gonna do come over here sleep in my wife's house and my woman's house and not help her out I Paid her off. I paid to have some months I give a half and some months I gave her the whole rent some months

I give her half the fucking rent and some months if she gave me her car to take to auditions I give her the fucking car payment. That's my woman. I gotta take care of it. You know I'm saying I'm not gonna send it I got a fucking pedicure You know if I don't have the money, but I'm gonna help her with her fucking bills a little bit and that's what I did So I had to pay two rents basically I Had to pay child support. I had to make all these payments Lee tell these people how much of my checks in the county store 15 bucks 15 bucks is said you do four sets in a week. What's that add up to 90 bucks 60 stupid Oh and you have Amazon and let's say you got a main room spot

You get 60% of the door divided by 15 comics. So you probably make another hundred and fifty fucking dollars So what's 150 and fucking 60? To 10 so to 10 times fucking for 840. Okay. I was paying two rents Ba ba ba ba ba ba boop and a cocaine addiction on a 40 Joey How the fuck do you do that? Well during the week for leap-based bars on lead bar center had a room they each paid 40 Fucking room fly had a room for 50 60 bucks on the weekends Who doesn't have a room for a hundred 200 hours and the rest brother came from slinging weed and slinging blow

Or gambling or putting a bedding for somebody or sitting on some of these bets and hoping they fucking lost And if they win holding them off and borrowing from Peter to pay Paul That's a complete different other way to make a fucking living And I know you had little jobs when you first came to LA like sometimes you would So guys yeah, but I was because I was I took an Uber here because I don't know people can see that or not But you're unwrapping another tibit you yeah, but I was talking to the guy and he works seven to four every day And that's what nine hours a day, and he makes 800 a week. He said and I was like 200 off they will know yet with the gas and stuff

But then I was thinking because I did that a few times I was feeling bad about it and But now that I'm starting this like it's like you you did you sold coke and stuff So you wouldn't have a job so all you could do is comedy I'm Like I'm saying I want you so cool. That's not no, but I'm just saying you did it so that you could focus only on one thing Right, and it's uh, it's it's hard to make that decision There's a I'm cuz I get emails every day now about about how

Either people want to do it or people just did it and it's terrifying and it's a It's a it's a crazy decision to make Yeah, I second-guess it at least three times a day usually what not having a job. Yeah, sometimes well You're giving up a lot And what's the opposite of giving up a lot gaining So you're somewhere in the middle This is what I thought Okay

Let's put let's draw cards on the fucking table here And some people might hang up after this whatever fuck you want to do I Didn't have I flunked out. I didn't have the means or parents or whatever to put me through college So I started hustling Whatever I make ends meet was I making a ton of money? No, but I didn't too bad You know, I knew how to keep my rent low. I knew how to you know This was before I was an economist or before I ever dreamed of I knew that if you made two grand a month You couldn't spend a thousand for rent

Not that things are gonna happen. You just can't so you got to keep your rent low So you got to keep it at four or five, you know, if you sacrifice a car, that's why I always liked working close by Because no matter what happens, you could always get to work Okay, yeah and Then for some but guess what Lee I always found a way to get $180 to pay for six credits a fucking stupid community college And I kept doing it I kept doing 3d3 at the two semesters when I was in Colorado and I went back to Jersey

I even think I took a semester at some my not ITT Tech Some school lot in hack and sack they have I took like a course out there and something But I never even claimed it then when I went back to Colorado. I went back to CCM Whatever and then I went to Boulder and There's a continuing at school at night across the University and eventually they came to me and they said you have to transfer But I did Lee and I gotta tell you it was fucking fun, but it was different. I wasn't 20. I wasn't 18 I was 24 20 fucking five I was a 24 and I'm walking around this campus as a fucking like a freshman

You know, whatever fuck you want to call it and I was having a great time Lee and eventually You know what? I'll never forget like taking like now. I had I don't know Maybe less than a year of credits to take before I could actually go to diploma Something I never thought I would ever attain Especially since I got a fucking GD and then guess what happened me What I got hitting the head with a left fucking punch and that punch said to me just like this. It was like listen So you've just gone to college, okay, you're not get you're not Taking a bunch of loans out. This isn't costing your normal leg. It's low interest

You know, I even took a loan out one time bought a car and sold it made like 4,000 bucks and paid the loan that back I mean, that's what I'm talking about hustling. You know, that's hustling. That's hustling, you know I had a friend who would take school loans out Put it in the fucking bank Take a bank book loan on the fucking thing lender. Oh, please. That's old Jew ingenuity, which People don't even have anymore to take a school loan out. What's the percentage of a school? I remember product as much 3% Right, what's the percentage anybody know on Twitter when you take a school loan out? What's the interest rate?

They fucking blast you with Okay, you think about that only say I think about that fucking scam That's a fucking juice scam. Okay. So what's the national? What's the fucking average? Uh, April a point 8% bump in 10 year yield means it's gonna go right now It's 3.86 percent and it's gonna go to 4.66. So if you borrow money from the bank, what do you got a fucking pay? What's the interest rate? Which one The first one I can see is 7.6. So right off the bat, you made four fucking points

Yeah, right off the mat. You made four fucking points. So it cost you 3% which is fucking who gots Who gots so my buddy would take those loans. Okay, and put them in a fucking bank book in the bank Okay, and then he would take a bank book loan on that Okay, and he would take that thing and buy a house How crazy is that Okay, so wait, so he would take the student loan out, right? He would take this too long and he would just pay the 3% of that Right, he would put it in the bank account get interest on that and then take a loan out to forget this whole saying like because he had This money in the bank, right? He was just down payment. Okay, so he would borrow against it

I forget how you would make the fucking money. See I'm African. I eat a couple fucking edibles a couple But that's the type of shit that You fart not yet It's not like maple syrup we've restarted. Yeah, it must be something left over in this motherfucker. I heard you went to Denny's and got French toast No, I don't eat that banana bread French toast. No, I wanted to it's not but it sounds good. It looks good Did you see my dad said he had it? That's why he said it was great. Yeah, it looks fucking really really good Looks like I'll also give you a fucking heart attack also. I'm sure but that's that was the thing So not to get off the subject leave. Let me tell you what happened with this left hook. Okay. I really forgot about that

What the fuck was I gonna do with this degree once I got it? like this is a Credits left I just got out of prison And I'm like wait a second So I got this degree What am I gonna do? The only person that's gonna give me a job is Somebody in New York that means I'm not to move to New York get in the apartment

And take a train and brown bag at the lunch and start all over again at 20 whatever the fuck I am When there's kids of the three years younger than me already doing this job We're gonna be smacking me around bossing me around but here's what gets better Lee because I didn't even look at it as an option I didn't even look at it as an option then I looked at it as a jail sentence And this before I went to prison. I'm sorry to say that this before I went to prison because this is what made me realize Like I have no chance This is what you mean to tell me I'm gonna do from the age of 28 To the age of 65 if you're lucky. That's it. This is what you mean to tell me. I'm gonna get stuck with like I'm not be

This is it. I'm gonna be an economist or or fucking be some like what I really wanted to be was Yeah, that's what I want to do economies and I want to do like international markets Like that's what I want to do out because I could speak Spanish, but that was it I'm gonna travel and do that and that's it. That's my fucking life and I got a watch That just destroyed my insides. Oh watch. Yeah, when you retire, they give you a fucking watch. Oh, okay Jesus Christ. So that was my fear right there. This is what I'm stuck with until whatever, right? You know for some people it's marriage for some people for me It was that this is what I'm gonna do every day and then on the weekends

I get saturday and sunday off and I get the fucking mow a lawn and fix my house up and take care of kids So where's my fucking peace? Where's my day off? Where's my fucking sitting around and just floating naked in a fucking pool? That's not gonna be my you know, I'm saying like that was my biggest fear. Yeah, so that's when I started thinking about fucking careers You know like what am I gonna do? You need something you need something you need something with dependability I wasn't looking I knew I wasn't I didn't have the mental capacity To make a half million dollars a year as a doctor or something like that once I got the felonies I knew so I had to make what works for me. What worked for me at the time? Common

Everything about it worked. I could run I could hide. You know, I had just gotten divorced. I had no credit I was fucking shell shock and I just wanted to find myself at that age What better than to find yourself and on the fucking road driving smoking dope listening to the radio? It's the best way to find yourself is to drive. Yeah, and that's what really fucking happened. Now, what if What if when I came to LA and no agents wanted to sign me If I was said, you know what? I'm gonna just move back to Colorado and do some comedy from time to time. I Think really in my heart comedy really saved me because I think I would have been in jail now if it wasn't for comedy Or you would have had an OD probably

Or OD No, if I was an OD I would have been out because trust me. I went fucking hard. That's why I Couldn't understand when those comics let the addiction beat up Like when I had an audition I prepared the night before no matter how bad I was a snorkel I wouldn't snorkel tonight before don't get me wrong. There was a lot of additions I didn't give a fuck about what I did snorkel. I was gonna say not snorting coke for you It's probably like doing a little bit of edibles. It's just like oh my god He's no more than anyone normally would Lee when I get a call

I get six o'clock and let's say in my mind all day He I already had the money in my pocket to buy a blow and I get a call not to you know to go to an audition Oh my god, I would look at the audition with time is that 220 see in those days I wanted auditions later on because I get me even if I woke up at nine and I got my head straight till 12 I Could learn the lines and go in there two three o'clock. So I still kept I could still keep it together Right, but those 10 o'clock auditions. I couldn't fucking snort cuz you could tell I snorted. Oh, yeah I don't I like it's a little bit back, but you've never really talked about it Like what was going through your head when you're like, yeah, I should still go to college

Like that's still like I should still do that like it just blows my mind that you were taking classes as you were selling coke and Robbing people and being you like you're like, yeah, I still need to get that degree. I Just never really talked about it. I Never shook it Lee I Never shook it. I Never shook it as much as I wanted to not be that person. I Love that side of me. I Love that side to me that if if things go fucking bad

I can just put a gun to you or work you or I love that fucking cold side of me at the time You know, the other night I went somewhere and I had black saboteur Like what a fuck do I listen to this after 40 fucking years? What a fuck do I have volume for in my car after 40 fucking years listening to this shit? I still like it. I mean, I still giggle sometimes the songs get me off when I'm driving You know, I like it. You know why I like it me because it takes me to a time When my life was I couldn't control it was unconfusing It was fucking horrible. So why do you like that as a reminder, I guess

As a reminder how fast things could slip up, I guess in a way. I don't know I just at that timely. I wanted to be a different person But there was something that told me I would never be that person. So what am I even trying? Oh, what the fuck is wrong? Oh, it's gonna be a piece of shit. They even a mountain nothing That was my mentality. Like, why am I doing this? Why am I doing this trying to do this? When this is not gonna fucking have a pan out for me, man I'm gonna always be, you know, I was going to school and I'd find myself I'm like a study hall with like, you know, like a study like a library

And I'd have to go do something look a project up at night something and I'd be in a library with Let's let's just exaggerate 20 kids and I look at these kids and I can't lie to you. They were all Completely different to me and they were all had been raised completely different than I was and that's all I could think about while I was sitting in this study room with them Feeling fucking so inferior to these kids that were in this room and so insecure That all these kids had parents that all these kids maybe maybe out of the 20 kids in here, maybe eight Smoke pot the other ones are what society called nerds. Well, I don't hate at all by no means But they were not me. That's what made me even feel worse that they were nerds

Because they were not on me. So I never really got I Wasn't comfortable in my skin at that time late So, yeah, I would go to college and you know, I would go to uh, let me tell you about a dumb thing I would do I would sell cars how many times I thought I would make fucking seven thousand months a month selling cars a Minimum of fucking five grand even when I went to Chrysler Plymouth, you know, that would do some days But while I was working I'd say guys I go to dry cleaner and they lost my shirt And it's okay and I take a demo and I'd shoot across the street to the Voldemort and I go to that store that engrave you things You know the stores that engrave things for you. Okay, and I go in and they have Parker pens

You know the Parker pen is just a nice pen. I get a nice pen They have all different colors and stuff and cross cross was another old pen I think they still have been some stores where it's just a nice pen They have gold ones and silver ones and I would rob those pens I would make the lady show me the pen and then when she would turn her back on me She'd leave the big draw open and I'd take six pens Put in my pocket and cross the street and go right back to the Chrysler Plymouth store and sell 10 pens for 10 bucks a piece I think it's $60. Now. Why would somebody who makes $5,000 a month

Do something risk everything he's got for 60 fucking dollars To be a chump to fucking be a chump only I would do something like that at that time Because it it it reminded me of who the fuck I was and where I came from I liked having that little thing and there was my own little secret. Nobody knew about I would tell them So how I know the chick that works over there. She steals and gives them to Give me ten bucks a piece who takes ten bucks for these fucking things I'm never going to the University of Colorado in Boulder one day And there was like a thing of like cheap watches like you know, it was 3995 watches. I took the whole rack

How I just Picked it up and walked out of there with it like I did Michael's Jewelers brother Why would you do something like that and Embarrass yourself and your friends and then you have to go answer your friends. That's the dumb shit It's not at the same level at all But it's kind of what's going on with like the Aaron Hernandez thing and all those like Tiger Woods all those people who make Dumb mistakes like that That's no, it's uh, you're absolutely right

It's a complete different level, but it's the same theory. It's the same theory. You're absolutely right. That's how it starts It's just but I still can't understand Getting seven million dollars a year and going somewhere and shooting somebody Now but let me tell you something different between me and you At 28 and I'm gonna look you in the fucking face and tell you this and you're gonna die at 28 if I had seven million dollars I'd still have done drugs, you know, but I would have done it in my house Yeah, that was just me. I would never make sense. I would never be out. I wouldn't be at nightclubs

People would not know my fucking business I'm one of those guys, you know, I I'm not saying that I wouldn't have killed somebody or whatever the fuck by mistake I mean, we don't fucking know the story of why this idiot did this nobody ever fucking know this story I mean, I don't I don't know that right. I never paid attention to the trial But happens. It's just he's the most recent one who's done it, but there's tons of stories of just Idiots throwing away everything It's like that Ryan leaf guy like there's tons of them I just uh, I didn't understand where my mind was that like the things

Did you realize it? Were you like ashamed of it or you just had fun? I had no reason to be ashamed of it because nobody knew about it But there was a kid that washed cars at the fucking Chrysler Plymouth place Little young kid if I was 20 whatever he had to be 21 and they had a cute little blonde chick, you know, George reminded me about this one day And the kid kind of bothered me a little bit. He pissed me off one day some of our blows some And at lunchtime I just went I knew he was there

I knew he was at the dealership and he wasn't leaving I went to his house kicked the door down And took all his blow and brought it back that took him like three days to figure out. It was fucking me You know, I really didn't give a fuck. I lied my teeth out He told me was gonna get three people after me whatever I told go ahead. I didn't rob your fucking house Why would I leave here? And then he came to me and he goes, you know, I thought about What you said and you're right. He would have never left here and robbed my house You know, I got all this to lose. Why would I rob your house? In reality, I did go to his house and I probably got, you know, four or five fucking grams

What if I would have got caught coming out of there? With the coke and breaking an entry That's five fucking years With a criminal record for that before or something and you didn't plan it You it wasn't like it was at night when like people wouldn't see you. You're just like, hey, it's noon time I would get impulsive. I used to be like very impulsive. Let's pretend Me and you were tight for a while. Let's pretend that you and I Were tight and we were doing coke deals and I bought coke for me when you really dug me

And I really dug you blah blah blah blah blah, okay Somewhere along I went to your house one night and You got a little bit of a fucking attitude towards me in those days. I apologize you blah blah blah And by the time you come back like Lee you've been selling this this for 500 the whole time Well, I had to raise my price and you guys are selling it and doubling the money on me and now I'm okay I would probably come back with the money and pay you what you want, but you're on the robbery list now

We got you on a list now trust me. We're gonna keep doing business with you But we're gonna wait till you put your guard down. It's gonna be the saddest fucking day of your life And that's what I would do And I'd wait till I I'd I'd call a bar one night and it was I was the luckiest guy in the world Because I would just happen to call Let's pretend Lee hung out at Swanis and there was a bar called Joe's and I hung out at Lenny's Suddenly as you were at Swanis and all of a sudden you say, you know, I'm gonna take a walk over to Joe's And you went over to Joe's and called me

And I said to you was going and you said where you at and I said I'm over at Lenny's Where were you you were over at Joe's like who's over at whatever the way you and you'd say me and this guy Pete I go Pete the wench yeah Who's he with and you tell me who he's with I go stay there When they ask you who called telling you gotta call your mom and ask her what she wanted. Okay Guess where I would go where the Pete's house to run because I knew it was at the bar with you This is way before cell phones. This is way before

Pagers this was way when you did everything on a whim So if I know is he comfortable with you as he's sitting down does he have money on the bar? Yes, he does. He's got a girl with him done. He's getting robbed Because he just put his guard down. He didn't take care of his business on a Friday night. He's a coke dealer He shouldn't be at the fucking bar That's how treacherous I was like I just wait I give you time because I knew as a drug dealer you're gonna fuck up On a Friday night, you just got your load You just got it. You didn't sell it all

You just got your fucking package. Right So that means that you're what are you doing out? That means there's got to be a package hidden somewhere Do you follow me that's not political so let's say I call Lee and go go over there and ask him if he's got power And he'd go no He's getting powered around 11. He says the guy's in the meeting by this house 11 If you see him out at 130 He said he's done. I'm taking that package because I know it's somewhere Even if he sold out of it the rest of that package got to be somewhere

It's crazy it's fucking crazy. Like so I would just put you on a mental list and just have you there Instead of going after you or robbing you right away. No, no No, no, no, no, I do business everybody. I do business as usual. I you didn't even do nothing to offend me And I'd tell a friend I had like my friend Lincontia Ferney I tell one of those guys I guess who's got him around next who and I tell them they go that oh I knew you were gonna say him fuck him. He's getting cocky. Yeah, he's got to go And we give him like three or four weeks and one night I'll call one of my friends and they go guess who's at the fucking party. He's fucked up

He's talking about you just picked up a kilo who we Keep them there. It's like a weird action movie like an anti man anti Avengers And we would shoot to his house Not you listen sometimes we'd have an opening a window I'd have a glass cutter with fucking whatever. No, you wouldn't oh, please I always like when I would go around in a circle listen for a while there I thought I was Johnny fucking pink Panther and I had the sponges that you you wash the window down to create the vacuum Then you put the thing on the thing that you know like when you shoot those guns and they have yeah

They press to the window and you got to pull them out. So I'll put water and glass I would tap it. I cut the fucking thing with glass cutter. I didn't even know what I was doing I swear to my mother's grave. It's just for movies or something. I thought that's how I thought a lot and then a friend of mine said Yeah, I'll teach you we ended up breaking every fucking glad the window. Yeah, we just broke the fucking window We had the suction cups and the whole thing. What did you care? You did like a briefcase a little bag No, like a little bag on our pockets. We have hooded sweatshirts with like fucking, you know I never I can't lie to nobody and say I was precision. I was that position I had enough break in the glass and put my hand there, you know, and sometimes you just had a window that was open

Sometimes though, I just pulled up on a door and kick that But when I kidnap Bella and I went to get the coke out of Bella's house, I just kicked that door down Boom But when I walked out there were people in the whole way. I didn't worry about that Don't even give a fuck. I just put my head down and get walking Jesus Why am I gonna keep stop or look up just walk out? Boom how often did you get lucky the other way cuz I made a huge mistake yesterday. What I did

I didn't I was fucking elsewhere and I didn't roll my window back up after I got my ticket at the gym And I came up from the gym and my window was just open And I look I love the first thing I did was I looked in the car on the ground for shattered glass I thought I got robbed and I just I had forgotten to roll it up And I had a checkbook and my wallet in there. I was like fuck Like luckily no one looked like how often did you would you find stuff like that like an unlocked car? nothing at all nah, I was you know, I was I

Didn't I didn't like fucking dabbing from people who were like Just in the car like I don't okay I didn't mind hitting drug dealers cuz they were out there once you start selling drugs. You're out of fucking boundaries That's it. You're out of legal boundaries That's it anything goes people out to shake you down people ought to take your drugs That puts you somewhere. You're in a list of the actual law No, it's not the actual law, but it's like the unwritten law. Yeah, I see what you're saying. That's cool It was very fucking spontaneous. I didn't fucking just walk by and go I'm gonna break into this house

God knows excuse me those people are poor. What the fuck's going on up there? Son of a fucking clip people like that and that all that time you had the gun Sometimes yeah, yeah, I had a gun I was carrying a gun Crazy I think in my life now, I would never carry a gun You know, I have a gun, but I would never fucking carry it, but just to think that I carry it. I'm nine millimeter You know much fucking trouble. I gotta go into Lee and you never had one shootout or one. Hey Like I pulled the gun a couple you did. Yeah, how does that feel horrible? Really scary?

Scary scariest things over there Because that's it again, you're in a different realm somebody's got a gun on them. I got a gun on you Lee Anything can fucking happen now That's a lot of pressure. That's it. That's it. Anything can fucking happen. Oh my god. Once you put a gun on somebody Oh my god, it's the scariest fucking thing in the world. No more Christmas card list. No, once you pull a gun on somebody Lee you Whether the rob them whether the pull you're like I used to pull guns on co-dealers. I Used to like like guys. No, I had guns. That's like lift up your shirt. Yeah, I let fucking people know even think about I'll blast you right in the fucking. I mean, I was terribly terrible

I think you got all your moves from actor for like movies movie so much. I think you like got all your moves The moves were like from my moves from one Really? That's fucked up. I got a lot of that shit, too. That's why I wasn't that bad at that particular I knew how to hide a gun the right way because of one You know, I would never step father. Yeah, I would never put my gun in my fucking Strap there. I was always carried in between my legs. I Would always have like an ankle holster

Yeah, I had a fucking badass holster for a while. That's how crazy I got I had the Don Johnson holster with the gun here and it would crisscross your back No, you weren't and you would have two bullets over that was towards the end What would you think to yourself as you're bringing on in the morning? Yeah, I'm a bad mother fuck Like that's why you tweet all that stuff now because you let's if I was putting on like a holster. Oh my god I don't know what my heart was thinking Thank God, I really never to shoot somebody. I really don't have an answer for anybody if anybody ever sat me down and questioned me Yeah, what I was thinking in the morning when I put the holster on I

Was thinking today is the day I'm gonna get killed I was thinking today is the day that somebody's gonna come and get me for something I did in my youth and I'm not to pull this gun. I'm gonna shoot it out like I was and I used to go target practice in there Once every 10 days, I used to clean my gun all the fucking time Yes, Lee, you have to keep your guns clean. I used to take home spread the newspaper out and take the brush and the fucking things out I was a fucking idiot Lee Do you have it when you had the Rocky apartment because that's there's the Just like a rocky apartment. No at that time. I was done with the rocky apartment. I was done

After I got arrested for the kidnap I came out. I had a few guns and Little by little I got rid of them one by one I still know what two of them are in Colorado and Boulder If they're even there if the place got developed and torn down the guns got found Okay, I always you would hide them place Yeah, if you go back, would you ever consider like going to check? Just to like see you're like no somebody. No, I don't even touch the energy anymore That would be crazy if that if they were there. Oh my god

I used to have the ice to put the show the host around and go out at night with a jacket over at Lee And I wouldn't let people touch me. I just shake their hands away One night in like 19 I Kicked not Bella in 87 But in 86, this is when I was really losing it. This is when I was really losing it This had to be October of 86 and by this time I was gone Lee I was gone. I was I'd start I'd stayed clean for about 16 months from December of

New Year's Eve 84 till about April of 86 I started dabbing a little bit like a couple lines here a couple lines there I would get high with Jackie's mother and we you know, whatever watch TV or I eat her ass where the fuck we're into and Either one and I just started doing doing more and more blow than Danny B called me. Yeah, it's a podcast And he said that he could get coke really cheap. He was getting he was there We're making a ton of money him and his partner at the time Because they're buying it directly from these Cubans for 800

An ounce it came out like I don't know what like there was something that would bind like 11 ounce packages And that's what they would sell me. Okay, so the sound it to me at first And I had no money Lee and I went to these two guys And I did the math and with the money I was gonna make I could borrow money from them and pay them interest Okay, and what I would do is I would tell the people Get your money ready for time coming with some great coke and I knew what everybody else was selling There was like three or four other coke dealers and I knew what they were selling So I undercut them price-wise. I had a better product and I had a better presentation

I left the rock everybody was grinding up coke They had and cutting it and grinding it up and giving it to you grind it up and people would say Well, people like that when they go out people like it like that But you give somebody a rock of coke and they see it they lose their mind. They come back and buy more So I was undercutting them on price five hours, which may be lose money in a way because nobody has a five on So everybody was giving me 40 and only five Okay, you follow me. So unless when you came the next time I go you owe me five from the last time give me the 50 There's no change you follow me. So but in the end I lost money for doing that

I should have just sold rocky coke for 50. I could still cut it But and that's what I did. So I always knew that as soon as I get the ounces back I'd sell it on a man. I go to a guy like you that I know you were buying from something else I go way buying for in that. What are you paying for in that? I'm paying 15 I bought if I could sell you below for 12 and Better than what you get I'd still throw a cut on it and I'd still make 400 now it's at 12 Right if I was paying eight for it. Yeah, so by the time I had the coke back in Colorado

I had already sold half of it. So all my investors had their money first So the rest of the money was all profit for me So in a way it was good because it didn't then towards the end I kept snorting more and more and more and more and the more I started the more guns I bought because I was buying guns to take to these coasts and on the way back out bring the coke It was good. This is craziness. This is fucking crazy There's like a fucking horrible part of my life that the time while I was doing it number one I was so stupid

Because I could have still been locked up number two a thousand things could have happened and in my mind Lee I wasn't doing nothing wrong I mean I was traveling with 12 guns of the shot and a suitcase with three sweatshirts with boxes of bullets boxes of bullets and 10 of those fucking holsters I I've never done coke, but you said it makes you paranoid How could you have so many guns and never one shoot and anything? Well, it goes in cycles because The first couple years I did blow I didn't get paranoid

But I got you know, it's a different you go in cycles and that's like three or four four and a half years That's when I started getting the paranoia without I start looking on a window You know, I would hear noises You know by 86 I was gone I was hearing noises and the paranoia was growing and that's what made me buy more guns and I probably from mid-July till November of 86 It asked but I had a gun on me all the time

Maybe even two guns and have one in the car under my seat under the passenger seat and I'd have one on my body but The cops were watching me But to rattle me in those days They tried to either bug the house So they broke into I had a house I was house sitting at there was a main house And there was a Little house we kept the drugs in the main house

The little house where I lived there was no drugs to scale the drugs the baggies everything was in the main house Because the main house they it was I wasn't in there I was supposed to be in there if you walked into the main house and went down the stairs There was like a little boiler room downstairs that controlled the pool and everything that they had right behind there There was some places where I had to scale and I weighed the coke. I Wayed the coke I would lock myself in there'd be hotter than fuck From the steam bath and everything I'd hide all the coke in there So I think the cops knew what I was doing in there

So they tried to break into my house when I got back and I could see the steps and I could see that the door Was fidgeted with so I assumed it was a certain person that dead man He was Todd and I knew that where he was gonna be at there was a party. I'm gonna forget is how crazy I was Walked in the party without a fucking jacket Just holsters just a holster the gun in and I took the gun out of the car and walked in there with that in my hand I grabbed him and I got a little bit of argument and he swore to me I wonder why he had known me for a long time and he did Todd was a great kid. I always loved my heart Except for that one moment at wall. I didn't know but think about all the things that could have happened

What if he would have pulled the gun? Oh my god, that's the what ifs What if I would have walked in there when I was talking to Todd one of his buddies We'll pull the gun and put it to my head and I would have had that gun in my hand And they were gone off and shouting the girls in the house. These are all things that I get up every morning People always said man, you're pretty humble cuz I get up every morning I thank the fucking Lord because I remember stories like that. That's what keeps me on my fucking dolls late Shit like that. I walked into that party with 30 people Gentiles not even to make it worse Lee and

Asked for Todd whatever his fucking name was and said let me talk to this motherfucker with a gun in my hand and a gun in the Holster, how much of a fucking Puerto Rican was I? Pretty much Beat that's the shit that makes me fucking sick to my stomach. Oh god Let's do some fucking shot Real quick. Well you streamers down again. No, it's cool. It went down like twice. What do you want to do? Um, fuck you want me to do it's not even off. We're getting off We are oh shit do your thing

I want to be around To pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart Some somebody twice as smart Or somebody Oh How cool is it that Damon brought Rita's Italian ice bus podcast I'm so high right now. I was just thinking ooh We can have Italian ice again. I Went there yesterday to take the baby was fucking closed. I didn't even do the fucking shout outs

What the fuck am I doing took my glad Brandy Lee, you know, I love you Brandon Lynn called me Yeah, they went to call back to an answer Paul Lynch cocksucker. You're my man Eddie canani Peter Garcia been fucking we've been going back and forth Spiral tip is for you Glenn Pashimi Matthew seal and hash star. I love you cocksucker Houston was great this week. I'm there That's a nice food. I stuck to my fucking points. I worked at the hotel had Olympic bar on a bench So I did all my shit my deadlifts and everything. I'm down to 30 fucking nine now. Hell. Yeah, I lost 16 pounds

So I'm feeling better your clothes looser Yeah, I close loose. I'm strong. I feel good. I took the day off because I worked that Friday Saturday and Sunday I didn't go to G2 today. I just did some shit this morning with this audition. So everything felt really good this week I'm in Tempe the Agostino's coming with me. Oh, yeah, it's gonna be motherfucking fun And what days Thursday through Saturday Thursday through fucking Saturday, that's awesome. How we do it Jackson How much do you give me cuz this is how much I give you does it really matter does it really fucking matter There was the people at anarchy edibles put 420 on the wrapper and I thought for saying is a 420 milligram Star for a lesson. No, you almost you're almost looking at for fucking 20 probably

What does that say I don't know I'm pretty high myself. Well, you don't think you're fucking special cuz you're sitting there You put a hash on the on the pipe that had like Listen, man, what the fuck was that? At 10 o'clock I went over to this place on Ventura that sells this shit. This is a Gentile store They're very nice to have lemon water at the door. There's no Russians working. You know, there's just night There's a Hindu with a new haircut All right, this little Hindu dude who sits there all this shit. I got there at 10 after 10

I thought it's gonna be packed. They got valet parking. I walked in I got I walked in I got a Grandma regular weed indica. That was pretty good. I got a grandma the sticky that Chinese fucking heroin The one I drew wasn't they called them sick things 420 It's a Jewish holiday and then I got a piece of that master Kush hash Right and then on the way out they go hold on we got a gift bag for you It was gift bag. It was 420. They gave me. Oh my god. They gave me hemp lotion Another big piece of hash another big piece of that shit. They gave me a vapor pen

That you have to buy the vapor flavors and just smoke it like the like the blue cigarette and shit like that. Okay, they gave me a Unedible a 60 milligram, which I pop right there 10 10 question right and they came Oh, they gave me keva berries in the bag I brought the bag to the car and open it up. Oh my and then before I left there was two dudes giving away free samples They gave me a banana a Little piece of banana chip, but the bag is this big a hundred hundred milligrams I have to eat a bag of banana chips the guy's like this is healthier. Go fuck yourself

And there was a guy's with brownies all gluten-free No calorie diabetic fucking brownies. We go for that's what you're looking for and there was a little piece But it was 25 milligrams so I inhaled that too. So right up the bat I had 85 milligrams or out of me on the walk out. You see I'm saying so who's better than me But there's fucking people everywhere at these weed stores like what happens today is the people give you free bags So people go from store to store just signing up getting fucking Stamina joints and and it's not good shit that they really give you but at least they make an effort man CNN's doing this thing right now about like the people who are opening legal stores in

Colorado and they made like something like 50,000 the first day or something And it's just like if I had a little bit of money like why why wouldn't you consider going out there and buying a store? If you if I really enjoy it But let's get some out of the fucking way right like out of all the evils. I really enjoy I really do out of all the evils whatever habit you may have bad habit whether it's eating fucking mayonnaise What are the fuck you eat? Whatever the fuck you fucking is I'm but what I'm trying to say I like more I'm not mayonnaise out of a spoon, you know rubbing all over your body and jumping up and down

I'm just saying okay, but what I'm trying to fucking tell you is that Out of all the evils, I really enjoyed marijuana because for me and this is his day one It's his day one man. I never dreamt the fucking smoking and what it lures you once you smoke it you giggle You fucking giggle. It's what who does not like to laugh Who does who wants to be miserable all fucking day? Especially laughing at shit that makes no sense at all in your world when you fucking laugh right and then I Found it to be

By the time I was 17 I Find it to calm me down and I found it to open up my head if I had a problem I was feeling bad about something I would smoke it and it would help me think out the problem That's how I looked at it for all those years But then it became something I smoked when I went to bed And it really helped me fall asleep. Hell yeah, and then it became something that I smoked in the morning Just to take the edge off the day whatever I was thinking would consume me remember I told you I had anxiety I was shit in blood when I was 21. Yeah, that's when I started smoking pot in the daytime. Have we do it?

He because it rolled out that I Wasn't that anxious anymore. I was always an anxious kid I could like if you told me to be somewhere at eight I'd get that 730 and fucking sweat bullets and be waiting for your fuck, you know, I didn't want to be that guy I didn't like that feeling. I didn't like being as competitive as that was that little dumb things You know, there's some things you could be competitive at but there's some things that you have to let live and let live And that's what pot took away from me. So that's why I enjoy it, you know, I get it So for me to sell it at a store, I could really talk to people. I really enjoy it. It wouldn't be money for me

It would be something that I love to get high. I love to talk to people about it I love to what wouldn't you want to have a store and play music? All fucking day have a DJ there just to I play the fucking music fuck the DJ it sounds like fun But then again, it's also like it's a great way to make like a millions of dollars Which is like it's not about what side and listen, I don't have I have no I Have no ill will about something making a million dollars. I don't give a fuck if I buy something You know, if you want that's what you want to do for a living

You don't go fuck, you know, if you don't give a fuck about getting shot again I know for a fact one of these wheat stores gonna get robbed today. Oh It's easy easy day today. Yeah, they got they guard down everything this high They're giggling the chicks are giggling. I guarantee there's gonna be three wheat stores robbed today There's three knuckleheads. They're gonna think, you know, let's get them on 420 They've been watching the stores since 10 o'clock all this money all this cash Where the fuck is it going? It's gotta be somewhere in there. I don't give people bad ideas. No, it's the fucking truth Wait, I gotta give people bad ideas. Well, so every time you see a bank rob. That's Joey Dears game the fucking idea

Well, not now. I see somebody fucking punch a gas station attendant now because I talk about the freakin Friday story You're gonna feel but no, no, no people Son so everybody tried to get robbed They've been there maybe a half a year. There was a guy out there robbing customers fuck You know every fucking store That I bought we that has had somebody trying to fucking be Johnny Pirate And I've seen I saw my kushmah in Hollywood when they were in the small building

I think somebody was on the show and we're talking about kushmah used to be in a small building an office building Right, it was horrendously bad. You know, they're in a building with dentists. The whole building smelled like fucked on weed Somebody tried to rob them when they were there at gunpoint all of them And they got caught somebody tried to rob kushmah when they were on fucking some or somebody tried to rob The weed store that was next to Justin Fortunes fucking Jim people always trying to rob those fucking things man. There's no security in there It's some fucking guy that's fucking stoned with cameras. You go in there But see that's why they get the IDs and they have the cage. But if you go to Hollywood, they're fucking tight

They're tight You have to give an ID to go in so they got your ID So unless you got a fake fucking ID, that means you got to go all the way and get a fake ID Not have any fingerprints on it because you had to have an ID That's why you don't run right into it like the place that was on Magnolia Santana's There was no all you had to do was buzz you they buzz you and you gave the kid the the license at the counter. You're fucked He's getting robbed He's getting robbed three fucking guy three grand bangers are gonna go in there

There's people that just go from store to store and check out the security. You have to assume When somebody is a new fucking patient, you have to assume they just come in there. That's what they do, bro How do you think places get robbed the people see vulnerabilities? It's like anything else People coming to your store walk out and go whoo if I was a fucking burglar I'd hit that fucking place that red money on the register the back window was open They don't buzz you at the door. That's how it starts Didn't say tell somebody who tells somebody who tells somebody and next thing you know you're getting fucking robbed Lee That's fucked up that is fucked up not as fucked up as you are look at you

What do you got playing tonight? You're gonna pick up Paulie's no No, I don't know what I want to do um Let me fuck That's great. I know I just I was just thinking like you know how you said like student loans were low interest like If I was a student now you should do that just take a student loan out and just buy a dispensary in Colorado No, you take couple student loans up and you buy a house because even if the interest rate is What you still fucking making money it's 3%

Okay, you're following me so let's say even if you juice the money out Even if somebody comes to you and says Lee I want to borrow 50,000 fucking now We don't give me 10% a week You're gonna give me 10% of $5,000 a fucking week. That's 500 fucking bucks until the $5,000 is fucking paid off and all That's your investment right there You know a lot of mobsters do that like the loan like every let's say a family, right? Let's say like the Gambino's Okay, the Gambino's had a chapter of just dudes that loan money Okay at 10% who do you lend money to a bank that want a

Business that doesn't want to borrow from a bank. They got credit and everything, but they just don't want to go to a bank It's a short-term loan 50,000 maybe they want to buy some inventory or something like that I come to you and I go Lee you're my captain. I got some money. I want to push. What can you give it to me for? You give it to me for a point and a half. I don't enough for six a Lot of times when you get out of jail the mobsters will give you 50,000 and give it to you for a half a point. I Don't know what that means a half a point. You have to give them a half a point a week So what's 50,000? What's five points of fifty that what's ten points of fifty thousand five?

What's five points fifty five thousand twenty five hundred and what's a point of fifty thousand? Maybe like six hundred five hundred so you give me fifty thousand for a half a point a week and I loan it out for five points a week. I make four points right off the fucking top So if I lends you fifty thousand for five points a week, right? Right fifty thousand ten thousand is five You're gonna give me twenty five hundred a week, right until you have my fucking fifty thousand bus interest That's the interest. Okay, you're gonna give me twenty five hundred a week. Do you have my fifty thousand and full? Twenty five hundred you give me a week as interest

I'm gonna give him six hundred. I made 19 right off the fucking back by lending you money Okay, you're following me So that's why the all those type of loans when they're low interest you could always do something with it because you're gonna do it at 8% or 9% or 10% Not if you're lending money on the street. So you're like a middleman. I feel you Sure, you're a fucking middleman and you're still taking something right off the top That's where you're fucking damages. That's crazy though. They'd loan someone else's money That's messed up. What do you think a bank does?

We think when you go buy a car, okay, when you go buy a car tonight Lisa it goes to Volkswagen They says I want to buy a car. They take your credit app and they fax it out there They do business with eight banks. They email it to eight banks six banks are gonna come back They're gonna try to get the best rate, right from the bank So they're gonna be anywhere between that nine. I don't know what the I don't know what the national interest rate is So, please don't quote me on this when you fucking buy a car Okay, and you go to finance department and you go in there and you go. Hey, I Got a I

Got a bank who says don't lend don't give me a new car loan. What's the percentage? 9% I got to beat that All right, so I'm gonna take your credit app I'm gonna send that motherfucker up and then one bank comes back with seven. I'm gonna charge you eight So I'm gonna make a point on this fucking long Guess what a point ain't a lot of money, but if I do 10 of those a fucking week That adds up my friend. So how do you get the point? I get the point because the bank gave me the loan at 7% You said that if I could beat fucking 8.5

That you you do I'll get your business. I give you the fucking loan at 8% And then they pay you back. I just make a point right there. So if I do 10 of those a week That's another way about a car dealer makes money They deal with a couple different fucking banks. They send you credit application out Somebody buys you for six. You just committed because you said 8.5 So I'm still gonna get you for eight. I'm not gonna drop under eight. I got you with eight If I can get you under eight and a half. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna make two points on you You dig cock sucker, I'm telling you you learn something or a day. I didn't know this either until I saw fucking cars

It's all a scam It's not all a scam people got to make a fucking living. We say everybody's got to make a fucking dollar somewhere. You know I'm saying I Know but it seems like they're just everyone's finding new ways to charge people for stuff Well, what do you do when you wake up in the morning? You don't want to charge people you're gonna work for free No, I don't I don't want to work for free, but I Almost had to fly somewhere a couple weekends ago fly some fly somewhere Okay, and I spent all day at the airport and I would have missed three connections and I had a hotel book at a car rental booked

So that's a lot of money lost if I can't get there right the airport the airline is nothing There's like it's hard to get to anyone on the phone I spend hours in line waiting to talk to somebody but if I Want to stay an extra hour. I have to pay 200 just to even think about changing my flight and now because tickets are more expensive I have to pay what the difference in the fare is I Just it doesn't seem very and you're fly every week. You must deal with it constantly It's a course to do business you got to fly

And that's why they can do it. You have to fly and they have you over a barrel You know you pay for the whole tight room ahead of time That's your fucking folk walkers. You're a Momo. You don't pay for that You just make the reservation and you cancel from the airport And that's it you make the reservation right they'll take your credit card number But some's don't some of them don't they just take the reservation and you pay when you get there You give me a credit card and they pay you bang the whole town the fucking way out Don't you think that's my right now. He's trying to save money

So what you end up dropping for that three bills? Yeah to be a fucking Momo. Yeah, that's okay You're living your life. You'll never do it again. No, you'll never fucking do it again. See that's how they get you They just swallowed 300 fucking dollars and they don't have the decency to say we understand your situation and they never even called That's a fucked up thing the hotel never called once I called from the airport when I thought I was gonna be delayed delayed once and then I was like First like they didn't even answer the phone. I like picked up but they were like having a party and Then they like when they finally picked up. I was like, oh, I'm gonna be late. They're like, okay And I was like, do you want my name or anything like nah?

We don't really care They're gonna swallow fucking though. A lot of you people at home today thought This was gonna be like a 420 fucking Momo get together smoke it down. We ain't like that. We got we Oh my god, I'm so high the bowl outside. We had a couple pieces of fucking edible This is a new star that we cracked into Anarchy edibles always throwing fucking heat Representing always look we took the one fucking sides. Not a what's that song? Twinkle twinkle, it's not I can't sing the fucking song for the star no more. Plus we ate buck 25 outside

Plus I ain't a whole fucking cheap at you a buck 80. We think you're dealing with people You know I'm saying I've been living for fucking 20 for the last 30 years get your clock fix, bitch What's up, Lisa? Yeah, that is a very long but a great shirt. What I've been living for 20 for 20 years It's a fucking clock. That's a great. That's a great. I don't know what to 420 to my move that hand Ralphie may tell me it's 420 I don't even know who's to wait till 4 o'clock to smoke dope anyway only some moron in my world is fucking 6 30 a.m 6 20 That's the time I was smoking this morning I got fucked up this morning. That's why I went back to that place to get more of that fucking Chinese glass

Heroin opium. We got you smoking this afternoon, which was delicious. I know you enjoyed it. Don't bullshit me And people out there like like to smoke and they make fun of me for being this high When you say you were smoking at 6 20 in the morning, you weren't smoking like a light joint like to just get the day start I'll step lightly. You probably put hash on there Everything like every like the the addition was that one though. Oh my god. I had a right. I had to go right So I wanted just to be nice and bait. So I got up early. I did some writing. I got on facebook I fucking had a nice breakfast. I went for a nice walk. I came back and I got Well on my line. I got sizzled before the walk. I can't lie no, but

I got fucked up to the gills before the walk. I came back and I got fucked up again I went and wrote the two hours I went over my audition and then I shot down this fucking uh I came to a couple weed stores and I came to see my main man Lisa Yeah, and some of the beautiful people in the church. So what's happening now? What the fuck you want from me? I'm gonna have a guest today because what's the fucking difference? It's 4 20 I didn't want to mess around ask somebody questions. Maybe they don't want to smoke pot or whatever the fuck they are So fuck the guests today. We'll resume again with guests on fucking Wednesday

Then next week we're doing three podcasts for you next week. Oh, yeah, I can't feel my lips We got seeper for see the fucking guests. Look at this fucking guy can't feel his lips You're like a hooker at five in the morning. She can't feel the lips because you suck fucking 18 dicks What are you gonna do cucks up? You know this week tempi arizona? I'm very excited. I haven't been last time I was in tempi was at the flying jew He went to the fights this week. And what are you waiting for? What do you want? I don't know. What are you waiting? What's the matter with you? You're all right? No, this fucking kid. No, look at him

What do you got planned for the week? I hold just a lot of work Consulting you like this consult. I mean Lee. Look, let's face it. You know a lot about podcasts You know a lot about that. I was talking to Matt Coleman from the improvs today And I was talking to him about Marketing we're talking about comics and what comics are doing and what he finds he he hires facebook ads and everything And I was saying guys, I know nothing about marketing. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you I know dick about nothing Whatever you guys learned at school for four years. I can't tell you. I don't know

But I've learned something completely different the last four years I know I have you know and so have you you've seen trends You know when when I was doing beauty and the beach you released on friday Who the fuck downloads on friday and by monday bill burr comes along. Fuck joey did. Yeah, you know, there's so many little things That enhance your podcast. It's like when you go to jiu-jitsu when you learn to move and somebody comes and says put your knee Closer to the ear for side control or when you do the kamara Put your knee, you know, there's just so uh put your hand On by his ear or your elbow. That's what is the elbow by his ear when you're pressing down

They just help you they just enhance you You know, there's a lot of people that are starting a podcast right now And you hey, it's like anything else in life, you know, how do you start stand-up counter? You see somebody on stage and you say i'm funny in them. How do you get into fighting? You look at somebody that's fighting you or I can beat his fucking ass Same thing happens with podcasting. There's a lot of people probably listen to this podcasting I could probably do a fucking better job And you sit down and you get you get the equipment or what you think works and guess what once you start testing the equipment

It's just not going to work. So what do you got to do? You got to pack that shit back up You either mail it back to fucking amazon or go back to guitar center and start from fucking scratching until you find what works It's a fucking process Okay, what lee provides is just letting people know what things to get It's like nanotech when we were talking to them and they told us to get we wouldn't want to get a set of cameras And they told us to get different sets of cameras. These are the things we learned What would have happened if you bought the other cameras? They wouldn't have worked for this. Okay So there's so many little things that you learn about you. It's like if I if if

If my toilet fucking clogs up We all know how to declod the toilet and how to get a snake and do it whatever the fucking is But after a while, you know what man? There might be something That somebody might come in for the 50 bucks and just do and take care one time and it won't happen again That's the things we've learned and that's the things I've learned through the podcast Like we're not to release what to talk about with subjects not to fucking talk about You know what type of people to bring on to interview, you know, like when you're uh,

When you're looking at somebody there's a lot of people I could bring on the fucking show But I'll tell you man. I talked to them in public and I don't think we'll fucking jizz So why would I bring them on the fucking show and insult you guys that these are the moves you learn instead of just You know, I bump into a thousand fucking people a day I bump into a thousand people a week that I could go up to and go. Hey, man How about the podcast? A lot of people just gonna be a pain in the ass They're not gonna show what they're gonna tell me they want to do in the last minute their mother died or the cat got hit by a Long mull over some shit

So fucking yeah, I just know what people gonna work out. So sometimes I rather put, you know I rather put somebody on that relationship on Then just some fucking guy that you know, I bump into on the street that's been in a band or something like that That I may know him from his music, but I don't really fucking know who he is I'd rather not even bring him on here because I don't know him. I'm not gonna get the best out of him for you You know what I'm saying, right? What's up, Lisa? Yeah, and so I like what you're doing. I like the service you're providing I believe in it. You know, I hope that if you're thinking to start a podcast You contact the flying Jew and you're asking for advice and it's just

I did a little research Like I was thinking about doing it like I thought about doing it for a little bit and then some guy actually Tweeted at me and said maybe I should like write a a book but I like when I typed in podcast consultant, there's tons of them. There's all the podcast gurus and and and king of podcasts But but do they have a podcast? Well, that's that that's the thing I'm not gonna be I'm not the best audio guy I'm I'm I feel like I get good audio, but I don't know everything that I should write

We still get people put the compressor up. But who gives a fuck go death, but I have a basic knowledge of it but I have hundreds and thousands of hours Of just like I learned I tried new mics this weekend. They didn't work. I now I do have to return them but it's just I didn't realize until today when I did my first one how much like It takes a lot. There's a lot of steps and it's still so new that there's not really a a guide to follow

So like I just I just thought it'd be cool if like I I don't know how many individual people are gonna start them. That's that's great if you want to But like I'm thinking about trying to do like businesses Or like tv shows like marketing tools Because it's such an inexpensive way to do what the podcast is right It's a marketing tool for people who you have three different departments You hit with this you get the person who wants to express themselves and what they really think

I always thought that this would enhance my career in the sense At least people know where I was fucking coming from they wouldn't just judge me from the stage or whatever stories They're you know little stories go around too. Yeah, you want to market yourself You want to help to get out there as a tv show? It would be fucking great to talk about what you want You know, there's people like me that are nerds that like those little fucking things about tv You even watch pop-up on amc. They have like a move like let's say they're gonna put on Under siege that that's the name of the Steven Seagal movie when he takes over the ship. Sure Is that it? I have no idea

Then they have a six o'clock and an eight o'clock the eight o'clock is just a movie But the six o'clock is the director's cut with uh with little pop-up When Steven Seagal did this scene he broke his rib. He couldn't shoot for three weeks You know when they hired her they really wanted what's her name? But she fell out in the last moment. They hired this girl. I like those tidbits about a movie if you're a movie buff Yeah, you know, that's what I think would help if like they did one with son's anarchy. It was Horrifically bad afterward. Yeah, I don't want to see Watches son's anarchy what I want to do is watch the tv show

Wednesday night and get in my car Thursday morning and as I'm driving to work here commentary Yeah on the show I seen or at the end of a film This is what I like at the end of the film Movie like last week paul blark got released, right? Right, so if you want to see paul blark on the way out Somebody gives you a little card that says if you want to hear commentary listen to the lo's Movie commentary And they'll talk about that movie the other movie that came out about the chick that's 2000 years old and everybody saw

A disney movie that came out this week and then another One about the one that moved. What's the movie that made the billion dollars too fast too furious seven. Yeah That would be a tremendous idea Yeah, if I went to see a fucking movie and on the way out somebody gave me a car and I could go in my car And go to some stereo station or something press a button and download that fucking podcast so I could hear what You know don johnson's wife had to say about 50 shades of gray. Was that a real finger up arrest? Was it a prosthetic? Whatever the fuck happened, you know, and then I I hope I don't get any more work, but the fact to me

The fact that's that all comedy clubs don't have a podcast That's not only that they'd have it But that said like sometimes look at like I've heard stories of you going and you're doing it while you're there That's that's the stupidest Thing in the world if if I owned a comedy club All these comedians are doing podcasts. Have you called in a week before? And and people will listen to a comedy club's podcast because they should be having good comics coming in The fact that they do it while you're there defeats the purpose

I know Well, this is where your consulting fucking firm comes in cocks up. Don't tell me. We'll see. I know the fucking deal Don't be bothered. Let me give a shout out to some Sponsors here on it.com optimum Optimization to the fucking fullest. I got a big box in them last week I want to thank Orlando reels and I'll tell you what their products are fucking better than ever that shroom tech is on fire last week And they get me through those two workouts, uh, friday and saturday and sunday Up there in fucking houston the one I did yesterday

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You can get them this weekend. You got nothing to do the kids are gonna go to your grandmothers You want to get your dick sucked you watch a porn then later on if you get your dick sucked You want a little classic martial arts iron dragon tv Is going to solve it for you not to mention pretty soon. We're going to start doing commentary for them So if you go to iron dragon tv, I'm going to give you a movie of the week a movie of the month something We're going to start that soon. All right, so go to iron dragon and press in joey. There you go Nailed it life you vapor head motherfucking Court smoking cocksuckers

Before you see the devil it all starts at nailed it life.com the best vapor pen on the market Not only that they have tools to help you dab if you're into the dabbing fucking technology Go to nailed it life.com. See what they got. Let's say you open up with the vapor pen It's a 50 dollar value. What do they get it for 20% off 20% off that means 40 Your fucking math is all fucked up today. What kind of jew hang out with the bad at math because in the math I know is 400 milligrams But all of a sudden he starts making 400 At least

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Ask me after i'm pitching this one. So hilly sigs. What are you pressing joey's church? There you go and get 20% off your first order with hilly sigs Proven guaranteed 1200 fucking bucks when you go to one of these fucking vapor stores You pay 10 bucks and the thing dries out after one day these motherfuckers 1200 puffs bitches So that's it. That's your 420 edition. I hope you smoke and giggle and jump up and down But what's the views that's what we do every day You think i'm gonna do this shit one said that like new years go fuck yourself. I smoke every day It can't be new years it was every day. I'm part of the culture baby. This is the culture. You know why because it keeps me

fucking sane I get it together. I get focused when I fucking go over my lines I get focused my my comprehension gets better and this is nothing that the government knows That helps me fuck the government. They just think they got these scientists doing I'm telling you what works for uncle joey. Okay, same thing. They say oh if you have pain Put that shit on it don't numb the pain if you smoke pot I'll get your mind somewhere else and you forget about the pain. That's what the weed does Besides that, I want to thank my main man lisa yet. I want to thank honor dot com iron dragon tv

Nailed it life dot com and my main man over at heady six dot com Please support these people they support us I want to thank my main man lisa and I want to thank you guys The guys that came out to use and I love you and for you motherfuckers. I'm gonna see in tempi We're going deep this fucking weekend. You understand me get the agustino. Hi the agustino will get high He got high one time and he peed He started him off with banana bread. Oh, that's evil He was at one of the clubs and it was there

And he goes, let me pick it up and that's what happens. All right. We'll be back wednesday four o'clock I love you guys. Thank you very much for uh watching the church today. Stay black and stay beautiful There's one of my oldies. I'm gonna play for you guys right now This is uh taking care. I used to listen to this before I used to go to english town new jersey It used to be a converse place. I used to stitch up converse sneakers I used to go down there Listen to this and jump out and jump in the dumpster and take out a regular fucking sneakers Name of the song is taking care of motherfucking business

Hey there league Should I do the ends? Yeah, do the fucking ends. Okay Yeah, you got crazy when that song came on. Fuck. Yeah, that's my jam, brother. What do you think you're doing? That's old school Go to island.com use code word church To get 10 off of your order of all the great optimization products Go to iron dragon tv.com and use code word joey to get two free movie rentals of all the great martial arts martial arts movies Go to Naileditlife.com for all the oil and wax smokers out there for the premiere vapor pan on the market

Use code word joey ds to get 20 off And go to hit esigs.com and use code word joey's church to get 20 off of your order Better tasting longer lasting proof is in the vape with e-cigarettes and e-cigars Hey They get up every morning from the long courts want to take the 815 into the city There's a whistle up above and people pushing people shopping at the girls over trying all already And if you dream on time you can get to work by night and start to sleep and jump against your pain If you ever get annoyed come to me. I'm self-employed. I love to work at nothing all day

And I've been taking care of business every day Taking care of business every week. I've been taking care of business It's all mine taking care of business and working overtime This one easy as fishing is to be a musician if you have to make a sound plot or mellow Get a second hit guitar chances all you go far if you're getting with the right bunch of fellows People see you have been fine just to lie in the sun Tell them that you like it this way It's the work that we're avoiding. We're all self-employed. We're off to work at nothing all day

Taking care of business every day Taking care of business every way we be taking care of business. It's all mine Taking care of business and working overtime All right Take good care of our business when I'm away every day Every morning from the long blocks one and take the 850 to the city There's a whistle up above our people pushing people shoving at the girls Your title looks pretty and it's a trade on time. You can get you over night

It's not your slave and job to get your pay If you ever get annoyed look at me. I'm self-employed. I'm off to work at nothing all day And I've been taking care of business every day Taking care of business every way I be taking care of business. It's all mine Taking care of business and working overtime Taking care of business Taking care of business Taking care of business

Taking care of business Taking care of business Taking care of business Taking care of business Taking care of business We be taking care of business. We be taking care of business. We be taking care of business.

We be taking care of business. We be taking care of business. We be taking care of business. We be taking care of business. We be taking care of business. We be taking care of business. We be taking care of business.