Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #276 - Eleanor Kerrigan, Joey Diaz, and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: April 23, 2015

Eleanor Kerrigan, Comedian and is featured on The Blue Show, This Friday @11 P.M. on Showtime, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. 
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Recorded live on 04/22/2015.
 Music:
 I Can't Go For That - Hall and Oates Stranglehold - Ted Nugent

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martial arts movies. They're the leader in 4k technology. You can watch them on your Android tablets. When you go to irondragontv.com use code word joey to get two free rentals and go to onit.com. When you go to onit.com use code word church to get 10% off all the optimization products like alpha brain, new mood, shumtech immune and shumtech sport, code word church for 10% off. Church of what's happening now. Lisa Ayat in the house. Eleanor the irish woman in the house. Oh shit. Take a leak. There's a little blue shirt on for them. But, thank you family. Joey loves this shirt. Every time I wear it he gets really excited. I was laughing during the break

because when we were kids I used to go to this buffet with this hilarious irish dude and it was on monday nights it was in carney new jersey. It was the town before carney on that same strip and we would you know the first couple times I didn't know the whole breakdown of it. But after a while the breakdown was you ate a little breakfast and you ate a little lunch then you smoked dope the rest of the afternoon and you went there at 8 o'clock 7 30 and you destroyed this fucking buffet and one of the guys did not smoke and I'll never forget that people be online talking like you know two women oh my god look at the shrimp I'll take one I'm allergic to shrimp I tell you what happened on the seaside last year I had a shrimp and I got sick and then

the other lady chimes in no no that's because you had shrimp at the beach coma you should have gone to this other place Joey's lagoon they have the best shrimp no really yeah they give you fire and they're talking and my friend will pull up next time and go take your time and they would just fucking look at them and get aggravated and he would say little things like that the one time he asked later look at her ass before you touch that rib go look at your ass oh ask yourself do you need that rib you have to be that all the time oh my god all the fun he once he said that I died I love that I died but we were laughing because that's what he'd say that people take your time and he'd say it so nonchalantly that you would feel bad you knew

where he was coming from there's nothing worse than when you're high and then someone's taking a long time out of the restaurant oh you know it you know when you see them you're like oh there's gonna be a fucking nightmare even if you're not high even if you're just hungry that's infuriating listen here's my magic here's my magic as soon as they come with the fucking thing you gotta know they give me the the menu I don't want to hear no stories because when he comes back with the water you better give him the whole fucking order because I'm giving him my fucking order yeah I already know what I mean I don't have time to wait no no come back in ten minutes don't fuck yourself I'm watering this shit right now there's no dilly dally you're not a big specialist person no don't

talk to me about tell me about your specials does that come with brown right listen just give me what the fucking cut you I can't deal with that shit and some people just stupid they deserve I went to this thing I went to the zoo today and the way out of the zoo it's on victory boulevard to my wife because let's just get some Cuban food bring it home I called Lee twice he didn't answer the phone because he was at a meeting because my wife left the phone at home and she could she didn't know how to tap into my internet to get the guy's number so we could eat it so we had to go there and order the food when I walked in and ordered the food there was these four fucking Chinese people standing I don't even know if they look like Chinese people I don't

know where the fuck they were from and they ordered food and then when I left with mercy for 15 minutes I came back saying people understand the doorway and I'm like guys what the fuck get out of the doorway yeah like I gotta tell you to get out of the doorway like they just look at you like mad they don't know what they're doing and it's like get the fuck out of the way you should have sat down and ordered you could have ordered while we're waiting what the fuck you you're waiting for fuck them fuck them if they're not here I ain't got time to wait they know the time they knew lunchtime is 12 o'clock that's right 1216 not 1218 that means you order your food and fuck them if it was their restaurant they would have kicked you out yeah standing there waiting

it drives me fucking crazy when people fuck around restaurant I need to invent something that you can just see what I'm seeing because we I went to the grocery store with paul a couple weeks ago and we went to the deli counter and this woman was standing at the deli counter and she says oh what's good I've never had good a before can I have a little taste of it and she sat there and went through like literally six or seven cheeses and we just left and and we came back later but I just this like that's what I miss about not like having you there just so I could just see you like my my dream reality show is just sitting you down and like with like the wrist thing so you can't move and just having somebody be like what's this good go with me to

a camera the jersey mics that's where my aggravation comes in full fucking boy the first guy that puts bacon on a turkey sandwich why you know club sand because one was the last time we got a club sandwich in jersey it only exists now they do yeah I was growing up and there was no club nothing there was no turkey club I don't eat it that's not a jerk yeah I don't eat that shit why would you have a chicken cheesesteak you're insulting me if this is jersey mics why would you have a chicken cheesesteak and shame on you if you're a chicken cheesesteak I agree you know what if you got a chicken cheesesteak you got a bad heart I hope you die anyway you should have got the beef that's what a cheesesteak is a cheesesteak does not have fucking chicken in it okay I don't know what

fucking planet you're from but they insult the whole thing they're lucky I've lighten up over the years yeah and I got no dignity no more I go in there I get turkey and the provolone on the fucking wheat bread or I get the tuna on the salad but every time I go in there first of all there's 15 people behind the counter yeah 14 of them are just morons and the dumbest one is the one he puts behind the lettuce yeah which is the most special station he's got a guy with a diamond tattoo on his on his fucking forearm who puts a diamond tattoo on their forearm right there you know the guy's born to fucking lose put him in the kitchen put him by the metal in the back that guy ain't got a chance he never had a chance this day one a fucking diamond on his forearm

just a diamond no no live a life no shine on crazy diamond no nothing just a diamond like you know what I want a diamond on my forearm you know what even the tattoo guy looks on Michael this guy's a fucking moron yeah just take his money this guy and that there's 19 people behind the counter listen I don't know nothing about nothing but I know about labor and I know about seacawk as labor he put two fucking guineas behind the counter and Irish dude and they'll outdo subway and jersey mics on their own and one of those little midget fat Italian mothers that's back there yelling with people with a wooden spoon she don't she don't write down down she's never got an order wrong in her life yeah okay she's never got an order wrong in her life she just looks like he goes

what's next let me get a turkey on my what do you think I should have listen I'm not fucking giving out fortunes today have your cheese ready who's next you know they just bang it out they just bang it out you can't go in there and say what's good this is seacawk is well seacawk is in the fucking city a beautiful state of New Jersey and Jersey Mike's house from fucking New Jersey so when I go in there I always gotta see these Gentiles ordering them and I feel like going come on guy Mike's way Mike's way don't good go good I'm fucking turkey Mike's way only Mike's way only goes good I'm fucking roast beef roast beef has the Mike's way who they stole from blimpy I used to get the Mike's way roast beef at Blimpy 86 Street in New York City I don't think blimpy's

around anymore they still went on uh I think it's more park and Laurel Canyon I remember I knew it as an adult but not a blimpy base really I think so I'm not sure I'll do some research I'll do some research I don't want to turn you down no it can't be any good no more but we we had like hoagie shops in south philly so I don't remember like no chains I didn't notice until I left I don't remember chains as a kid I wouldn't go to a chain if I live in the east coast yeah burger king that was a special treat and kfc yeah and we also had geno's you remember geno's and Roy geno's was burger king and uh yes and and Kentucky fried chicken put together Lee no way yeah yeah on 48th street and fucking west New York geno's and you had jack in the box but that was in Queens and I never had

jack in the box I used to go to jack in the Bronx in the Queens and the Bronx like I went like through the I got fishing chips one time it was fucking hard and that was the last time I went to jack in the box like I didn't know I was a kid yeah you can't get fish anyway I didn't fucking there's one in downtown and there's one in Calabasas really a blimpy yeah what's the menu let's look the number nine is the roast beef right you know what he's not off the top of your head if that it's been it's been I have not gone into a bomb it's gonna come out I have not gone into a bumpy base in 20 fucking years at least I can't it looks good I'm like it's the original original it's the original wraps too they've evolved flatbread they're trying to have

numbers up here unfortunately I think they stopped I think they stopped they're trying to fit in with they have flatbreads and fucking now what is a flatbread can somebody oh wait no you know you're sure I think they made that up they just flatten it and they make people feel good about themselves and I hit me with the menu no you got see this is how crazy you are you got the exact right for the Mike's wafer the roast beef and provolone with tomatoes lettuce onion vinegar and oil and oregano who the fuck are you gonna tell my business to Lee who the fuck are you gonna tell my my business is food my business is food movies and refurbished getting your dick sucked that's my business I don't know nothing about stars and fucking the meteors and the next civilization and what happened 3 000

years ago and the lion who attacked the martian or linkedin then yeah linkedin then these people want to be your friend on linkedin then what is that some dude who I fuck no I just erased the message I get them all the time three four days from people that I hate Dave Tyree people I've heard from years now they're all on a professional network you haven't worked in four fucking years go to fucking broke that net and look me up you're gonna go to fucking linkedin then to hang out with other social people who are actually doing something and you're gonna bring that touch of death to the fucking web page all those web page start great until the kisses of death get on there dame cook became a star on my space I get on my space boom it goes kaput you know a kiss of death gets on

that it's over yeah because it definitely yeah I killed my space me and a couple other fucking people so good thank you now they're about to kill fucking facebook anything now facebook is facebook is dead do you think so you think yeah I can see coming already it's christian they got ads oh yeah my mom liked something yeah that's the biggest thing now she gets letters from jesus all the time she goes how do I how am I gonna dislike jesus it's hard to listen they're all great every medium that's gonna come up it's gonna be better than the next one you know i'm just you're all waiting for that i'm surprised facebook lasted as long as yeah you know instagram's going for it they don't fuck around oh instagram too i stink at instagram i gotta do it more i hate i can't do it

the biggest problem with facebook is just that people's families are getting on there now that's why i don't really go on facebook anymore because when i started selling flying jute t-shirts my aunt who's 50 something bought a flying jute t-shirt and i wanted to kill myself because there's no she bought it well yeah it was that's it's very nice of her but you know yeah they all know about it and what they say i told you my mom can't get past your part of the opening of the podcast so she hasn't seen a minute thank god she just you're opening just she gets all flustered and too many swears so she's never made it past an opening too many swears oh yeah she's my mom she eats fettuccine Alfredo not past 10 when you ate that shit that's got cream and you eat it once you're

15 you realize you just ruined somebody's eating lunch right now and eating fettuccine i hope they died i hope you choke on that cream sauce is too creepy for me next thing you know you constipate you should have the marinara it goes right through you like a fucking rope constipated heartburn like a person we just found out that you swallow gum i've been swallowing i can't believe that and sometimes i shit them whole i when i swallow them i swallow them like a little ball like i practice like smuggling like you make it hard yeah i make it hard i make a little ball so i shit it right out and every once in a while like i eat too much gum yeah my system won't process it right so i'll drop i'll i'll just take and i told you i'll pull like i gotta wipe my ass and there's something

that's like a string of bubblegum i think it's like you know when you bite like when it gets stuck to your shoe yeah no when you bite into a marinara and you pull the cheese and there's a cheese string i've had little strings of bubblegum in my asshole and i just wrap it up or they get caught up in your pubic hairs you get caught up in spokes you got a little piece of bubblegum in your asshole hair oh no and then it dries up in the middle of the night because it's dry in the room wait you don't wipe your ass you wipe your ass but sometimes the bubblegum don't wipe their ass leave don't lie i wipe my ass the problem is wait you take three showers a day but you don't check to see if there's bubblegum in your asshole hair this is a fucking story sometimes

you're wiping on the wipe the bubblegum gets stuck into your pubic hairs and it pulls a little bit you're too tired you're like i'm like i'll deal with this later i'll deal with it in the morning so you go to bed and there's a little tiny little piece of bubblegum connected to one of your pubic hairs they gotta get up in the morning and work the pressure up and rip it out like an eyebrow like with tweezers you can't go up to somebody yeah you can't go up to somebody and go hey man rip this off because why do you have bubblegum in your ass or why do you have a little piece of juicy fruit because it doesn't even smell like when you rip the hair out and you can still smell the gum let's look a little mixed with shit intestines you should put peanut butter on there

it'll take it out faster please tell me you don't smell the gum you bet your ass i do you bet your ass you bet your ass i do i'm a nasty fuck dog are we all though anything comes out of your ass you're gonna smell it if you should a shoe okay you're gonna smell it you never show the peanut out of your ass like you would take this shit you see a peanut you dig it out yeah wait no you dig into the bowl why not it's like the exorcist dog yeah i dropped my e-cigarette in the bowl after i pissed i took it out wiped it down i fucking yes i did one time you're making decent money just buy another e-cigarette i'm not in the mood to leave the house right now you know what i'm saying i gotta go leave the house that's a completely different story you have all these like insane

rules like no bacon on turkey no no avocado no eggs on burgers but a e-cigarette in the toilet all right my piss bacon on everything i love that you don't like bacon on turkey i just saw yesterday they're putting it in sushi isn't that the wrong thing they're putting it around pizza i can't i know that's not dominoes it's a little oh yeah you know this guy i've never been around the no i've never been there but you've been up for a fucking night scratching your head thinking how you can get it sent to lay next door and hopefully she's sleeping so you could mug the fucking pizza man and get your little pizza without nobody knowing cuck's like oh yeah paperwork do you eat bacon oh fuck yeah i eat turkey bacon that passes them off

just oh that was disgusting who's turkey this is what i'm saying then they go to subway and i had a had a pastrami say it's not pastrami that's turkey fucking meat even the cheese is made out of turkey all the co-cuts at the subway are made from turkey not the cheese but you know all the co-cuts even if it's pepperoni it's really turkey it's turkey based it's turkey based everything at subway it's turkey how do you do that i don't understand listen all right food just think about this think about how good it could be for you if you take something that's white put it in a fucking grind and then make it look like salami how good can it be for you well did you see that picture people sent us oh yeah about the what about the

roast beef that was green oh yeah i wouldn't either so where's that like uh uh arby's subway oh subby this this dude who worked at subway arby's isn't even roast beef normal it's human oh it's human meat i think it's like some guy they cut up because this one guy around the friend of mine used to work there and he said it was liquid like they poured it into something then it turned into that and i was like what and i think i ate it a couple times when i was a kid delicious yeah with some more straddish three of those little arby's things and the cheese weren't bad then and they'll pass so i used to always go to arby's because it's cheap you only get 300 for the week you gotta buy blow you gotta live on something arby's got the answer

arby's and water burger where i grew up they had a ton of roast like hot places to get like hot roast beef sandwiches that were great they don't worry did they have that in jersey or was it yeah okay nicks roast beef filly roast beef a nice sandwich dipped in the fucking oil dipped in the gravy sometimes or they you get it with the gravy on the side listen fucking delicious that shit very nicely i do stand up at nicks roast beef because my brother runs it in springfield i'll sit right in the suburbs of philly and he pays me in beef fries what are beef fries it's just the roast beef on french fries with the gravy oh it's carnitas for white people it's so sounds delicious that's a roast beef is right carnitas for what you like carnita fries right

you give a finger for those carnitas i have you have to see his face how he tells you yeah oh they're amazing what what's better than steak french fries and cheese and then like sour cream and guacamole on top how can you beat it oh my god how can i beat it with a heart attack that's how i can fucking beat it i don't eat it i can't eat it anymore but i can think about it why can't you eat it anymore because i've been trying to lose weight oh look how he says i'm trying to lose weight he's all right i what do you want like everyone knows you love that shit though you know it doesn't everyone loves him that i mean you wouldn't eat him you would eat him yes you would not with guacamole i hate guacamole what none of that shit oh wait do you not eat

something that's green i don't eat a lot of things i think we were talking about this last time you're on i hate green yeah you don't eat lettuce the only spinach really that's the only one i like i can't eat iceberg lettuce i'll fight somebody if you put that you like iceberg lettuce no i hate it hate it yeah that's awful it tastes like crackers with water i don't know it's gross iceberg lettuce when it's and it smells too when it's it's got that i hate that yeah when it's got on a sandwich like two with a lot of iceberg i could snap from something like that really i like do you like the wedge salad i can see you liking a wedge salad i never got it i don't get it it's a piece of fucking thing with blue cheese on the side and bake and i gotta cut up with a thing and if

you eat it you feel like a fucking savage because you shouldn't eat it it's this big on your goddamn fork so such a weird reason yeah and then there's some people some places give you know that they're not bad i i guess uh i don't know you got a big fucking thing coming up this week yes i'm excited friday i went back to the to my house last night after i bombed at the store and i thought about you bomb oh at the store i'm sorry i didn't see you at the store i saw you at the lab factory you killed but it was funny because i just started a whole process like i was watching something and i remembered just something remember georgia gene yeah okay so far okay this whole thing's got me riled up the last three or four years it started with that fucking moron

from uh and i'm saying it like this i don't even give a fuck no more the guy from let him in that got five for saying the thing about the chicks did it bother me i mean i know i mean that guy's never sort of funny fucking thing in his life right so for him to say that women you know whatever i'm not i don't i don't pay oh women aren't funny right i don't pay thanks for that stuff i never really have yeah and i gotta listen you know i got my own problems with my own bitches whatever the fuck i everybody knows i'm fucking around i got a heart all that other shit feminism i don't know nothing about that shit i don't know nothing about that you know i i think i know what how everybody is and how everybody should feel but one thing about last night that stuck out in my mind was

that last night elinor did a show with four fucking gorillas this is true and when i walked in there she was sitting with another girl as calm as can be she wasn't drinking she didn't have a stupid story on how she had to go up first because she had to showcase somewhere else and she had to leave there weren't three girls with her drinking in there considering you know like some girl comics consider when they go on stays like a fucking party yeah yeah you just went down there did just sit and got the fuck out of there you gave down the right home yeah and then you had a spot at the store yes i left before you came and i was thinking about george jean that george now here you are listen with me red band rogan don you know and i had to follow joe deus by the way which not

easy and and you didn't complain i love to say nothing you didn't come and i'm thinking about george jean and she said something and she said once in a there was some argument on stupid facebook and i'll tell you you know i get i read my comments but on the other side the home page i never really read those comments yeah but i got caught in the conversation two idiots were considering about women comics okay and george jean who i really liked you know she never bothered me i mean she wasn't no Australian girl she was no blazer fucking you know she was no jerry lewis right but nice girl sweet um she was working on it you know she was working on being funny and she made a statement that that's why she quit comedy because uh every guy wants to hit on you and i remember

going in the shower closing my computer not saying anything it's none of my business and thinking about it on whatever drive i had like you know what last i checked that's an every fucking business every business every business guys want to fuck you okay so like that page van san it must be it must be really hard i mean dana white said everybody wanted to meet my page van san after the fucking fight she's 21 she's super hot yeah she's cute she's tiny you know a little pussy almost popped out eight times on television hers on the other one everybody watched but it's just a you know like every woman no matter what you know we get hit on people get hit on people get hit on and some guys do it subtly some guys do it on an asshole some guys tell you you're gonna lose your

job if you don't suck that dick i was watching Hannibal the cannibal the other day the one when she replaced the one that won the academy award she just replaced the redhead the redhead julianne more did it and it was with ray leota and there's one part where she tells ray leota in the basement she goes he's still mad at me because i wouldn't go home we had to go home to your fucking wife yeah and he goes don't you know don't walk all over yourself starling you know there's a lot of farm fed corn pussy in dc whatever you know and there are guys that do that but you know what the women that fucking stick it out it's called tough skin well yeah you just learned to deal with it look i got six brothers and if i was willing they'd probably sleep with me you know i mean

they're just men just animals and that's cool but you got to learn to deal with it and that's in any business my mom worked at the government people would hit on her you know everywhere you work and your waitress you guys say you were a server at a comedy club at the company where you have to have two drinks so it must it must happen every night every night every night i've had customers grab my ass i've had comics pinch my ass i have one bite my ass that was awesome at a christmas party in front of mitzi um and you know a shit happens i mean i didn't get upset it made me laugh am i gonna do it's up to you what you want to do with your body if you want to fuck them fuck them if you don't don't but you don't have to bitch about it who cares yeah everybody i'm happy people want to

hit on me that means i still got it that's why i showcase my camel toe and my jeans that's right that's why i wear them it's uh you know you look at it who doesn't look at camel toe everybody does like comb it out you know you see the evolution of a woman in comedy you know they last but sometimes they just tap out or sometimes they just go from the realm you're in right now to a lower realm so i have no responsibility and that's a thing with women they do get responsible like if you get married and you have a kid that's it overries take over and that sucks and and women are naturally you know we have to stay there nourish take care i unfortunately didn't want to do that because i have testicles and it's harder i don't want kids i don't and i think it's great if you

have kids but you even as a father you can see the string the strings now it's different you're on the road you have i miss my kid oh please it's a different woman it's a different it we drive you it's saying i think i think that's just me and what my family my mother would go crazy she had 10 kids she was a single parent she had to go to work she was thrilled to go to work get the fuck away from us but she's because she had to feed us you know what i mean how the fuck are you in chicago with two kids i philadelphia and none of them just saying how the fuck are you on the road in chicago i see what you're saying on the road i'm philadelphia with two kids at home oh yeah it's so hard so women do tend to tag out quicker than men because they take on that and it's not

easy i i know female comics that are funny and great and they have kids and it's fucking hard i mean look at pascatelli timie pascatelli is hilarious and she goes on the road all the time she has a kid and it sucks i bet for her it sucks how old is b what's his name bea he's gotta be five six maybe maybe well that's not a bad age because uh you know luke watches right luke hooks that thank god he's mr mom i love that but still a mom is a mom that's right sometimes and they get to know it they get once there's a disaster or something yeah it's a disaster but you could still do comedy in los angeles you could still there's so many things you could do in los angeles but you'll never hear her bitch about it timie she just does her thing she just does her thing she just

goes and does her thing that's what i like about it do you think you have to choose because i'm nowhere near ready to have kids at all we're not even talking about it but i'm not even sure if you should like i'm worried about you who knows at this point with all these edibles but paula is going to law school and she's like she's working really hard to become a lawyer and i saw my mom went through my mom went to law school too and when she had my brother and i she just she didn't work for like eight or ten years and it definitely sent her back coming back into the job so like i can see i want kids like i used to really really want kids but now i'm like i can see paula's point if she was like i just killed myself for three years plus starting out working the first three years i don't

want to have kids and have to give it up i put a lot of work into it so it's like it's it is kind of fucked up i can see where it's not really fair and same thing with the with the hitting on like yeah you could just like let it roll off your back but it's just like it's like in just another thing added on to the hard part of already trying to become a comic like imagine like you went through a lot of shit but then imagine if every time some guy you didn't like was hitting on you it must it it must make it harder oh it just depends what you do with the situation listen man if you got into comedy and guys are hitting on you and they've never hit on you before then you've been fucking sheltered okay you've lived in a fucking box okay you can walk down the street get hit on when you

when you were 12 was the first time a woman when you were like 11 was the first time some creepy fucking 15 year old hit on you he saw that you had like three hairs on your pussy or some shit or saw you in a bikini or saw what you he thought your body was going to look like and he hit on you and then women you know at first they oh my god that guy likes me but then one day they decided i was watching tom papa last night he was talking about he was talking about how his uh he's his daughters and he's like you know you got they think that every man in the world is like dad so please don't i gotta start beating the mom you know just to show him that dad don't fuck around you know but you there's some women that come to the comedy store and a guy says you're

beautiful and they fucking lose their mind like that why though i didn't make the first time it's happened and there's women that hey listen i want to eat your ass and they just keep walking that's good next and they just go to the next one right but unless unless they're preventing you from getting somewhere because they want to sleep with you like if they say if you don't sleep with me you can't you can't go on stage right if that happened would i sleep with the guy no i'd beat the fuck out of him and then walk on stage that's how it works but that's i mean maybe that's a crazy mentality because i have six brothers i mean but my first you were saying is getting hit on the first person was my brother jimmy peeking in the shower at me and then he would let he goes i'll give you

gum if you let me look longer that was my brother we were related i mean it was good gum too it's benti but it's it's it's so right there her saying that like i didn't fucking go nuts but i knew there was just an excuse for her it is an excuse it's an excuse to out it's an out for women you know it listen it's it's hard to do comedy it's a hard fucking journey and it's a hard and it is dominated by men and it is dominated by men but what field isn't dominated by men you know listen stripping i have a i have a fucking daughter at the house and i want to give her the best chance in the world that you can't and i'm going to tell that she's got all these opportunities available to her but i'm also going to tell her the truth that no matter what happens

you got to work harder than that motherfucker don't tread on the they're going to give it to you on whatever you got to work harder than that motherfucker and even then even then yeah they might not give it to you but it rolls off your chest now you got to decide what else to do you can't take the abuse you know this is what it is it is what it is yeah you know it's it's a male dominated fucking everything it's a boys club it's a boys club yeah you could shave your head you could place girls softball you get tattoos whatever you do all this shit you fucking want if you let it affect you if you let it fucking affect you me if i was a woman man i just keep fucking marching because listen damn if you sleep with a guy and damn if you don't sleep with a guy you're not gonna

lose no matter what you don't sleep with a fucking guy and is it at some point does it turn into a benefit like i always hear like female comics who might get on tv sooner or or maybe maybe you could flirt with a booker so like there is another side to it that could help you out but i mean look at mittie sure she was people would say oh you had to sleep with her to get on stage that wasn't necessarily true she wasn't necessarily it could have happened no i worked for her for six years and she would tell me straight we i was her personal assistant and she would tell me every story every story and sometimes she'd pass guys because they were good looking and then she'd sleep with them and if they didn't keep being funny she'd get rid of them she'd get rid of them but but it wasn't

like you had to sleep with her to get on stage now she's a whore right because she did that but if a guy did that he's a hero right i don't that i don't like that shit i think it's it's all the same you're all whores and that's cool be it be what you want to be but she didn't prevent somebody from going on stage if they didn't sleep with her she did not do that this guy's cute i'm gonna pass him see what i can get that's exactly what she would do and then she'd pass him she'd suck his dick but if he's a couple bartender she hired hilarious hilarious and she would do it and she would get rid of it if they didn't move forward you gotta move you know you're gonna get a piece of she goes this guy didn't know what was in a rum and coke so i got rid of him i wouldn't want great

in bed i wouldn't want to suck a dick and to get put on a show like a stand up show and then no i got on there because i sucked a dick and even then what's that gonna do for you that's gonna get you there the first time what are you gonna do keep sucking dicks the rest of your fucking life wait a minute that's kind of how i got on the blue shirt so i'm just kidding but it's it's it's one of those things where you uh i have a lot of respect for women i was raised by a single mom i seen what it took i seen how my mom you know i hear all these stories i i you know i live in studio city i see women with you know two kids with a brown woman in the car next to him and they can't do dick without that brown woman that's right you go to these parks and you see uh the kids

every kid is white and every fucking man he's mexican there's no parent there but you ever go to victory and violent and go to fucking target over there how many times you look across the street you see a mexican woman that's pregnant with a kid in the fucking stroller with another kid holding that she's crossing the street that's three kids but that fucking chick from studio city with two kids needs a woman to stay in her house 40 hours a week to help her you know it's so she could get a shower so she could get a shower and oh i have to catch yoga and she could walk with her not my stay pants and some fucking coffee shop and double park and show people her importance you know i see that type of shit what people do and people we can't do i come from it my mom worked

you know listen the apple on foot far from the tree people always go joey this is a hustle we think i watch this on tv yeah you think you learn this in a book you learn from watching somebody who like i told you listen i don't know much about martians i'm not johnny intelligent but i tell you what i know how to do i know how to leave the house in the morning with nothing and come home with fucking hundred dollars i'll do it every fucking day i'll even if i gotta bar that hundred dollars i'm making my point i come home with some you know how many times i left the house at eight o'clock to go to the store and i come back with a grandma blow weed twenty dollars for lunch two joints a jacket because i know how to put shit together yep there's something that

you have to know how to put and i didn't learn how to survive i learned this from a woman i saw my mom how she'd get up hung over take a shower come out get a fucking piece of bread a coffee and let's go go come on what are you really talking about tv let's go come on boom to the bank to here to there to eat to the Bronx to the back boom boom boom after you did everything yeah then we went to a yankee game or a mech game but that was after we did 30 fucking things yeah yeah you know and when a woman comes to la and a woman wants to be successful she's got to go out she's got to write she's got to do all these fucking things and i've seen all different angles we've seen the women that came were good looking and got the drinking cocktails they're gone yeah gone party

girls they don't fucking last they get ugliest first those party girls feel get filled with sperm and fucking vodka and those martinis and sperm that shit will make you age quicker than a fucking than anything in the world you look like me after and you'll be 35 and we've seen it only if you swallow it if you let it go in your face it's very nice but we've seen it la good moisturizer but you see these you know at the store we saw women that came with fake tits barbie seen everything with the vein the vein you mother fuck you know we were talking about when we saw women come and go that were beautiful i've seen a million women comment beautiful and you sit there today and go where the fuck are they i like to take 10 off the list and look them up on facebook and see what

fucking happened to them but my point being i don't know and there you are the strong ones and the funny ones are still around now do you think that being a waitress at the store those years helped you advance in comedy i will say that 12 years and that's fucked up that's how long i was there 12 years really was the best college you could go to for standard i mean every night i watched stand up comedy i could recite everyone's act even if they were good and off the cuff i knew where they were going because it was innate it was i knew i knew when to drop a tab i knew when to pick up a tag i knew every minute some comics were really bad and you could just you know you just knew every word and it was whatever but there you know so it was in there it was

definitely subconsciously because now writing i'll be like oh that's so and so's joke i heard that in 1998 brine bradley did that you know and i'll be like i must have picked that up so scratch that start over you know what i mean so that that kind of sucks by the way where's brine bradley i don't know if it wasn't he funny god love him he made me like no he got a fight with i love he used to bring the audience he used to make me laugh so he was doing grease or something in brother yeah you know what i heard he went to i believe and i could be confusing people take care of his father in florida and now he does like cruise ships but i could have that wrong but i thought that was right i don't know i have to ask but this is one of my point a lot of people do break like talk

shit you know comics are we talk shit to people i've heard a million people say to me you only got on shows because you fuck dice now and that could be true he does help me out absolutely and we were engaged we lived together five years i left him moved out after freddy passed moved out i was trying to figure my shit i didn't know what to do and then i just thought you know all these years freddy telling me get on stage comics thing you get on stage you're funny you're funny i started doing a one woman show this was a year and a half after we broke up he came to see me and he was like you're doing stand-up come on the road so that's what i did and then when i started getting boot off the stage with him he let me go for a year and then i started going to the store every night

going the laugh factory the ha ha uh anywhere i anybody that would have me a coffee house that i can't figure the one in westwood that i used to do all the time um brucco brucco oh my god that was my favorite because the audience would leave and come out you know it would be shifts right kind of because it was just people walking by and it was free uh hardest fucking room ever but i loved it but so i did it for a year and then andrew invited me out again but i had to prove myself to him he did not just say here you can have this he was like you have to prove it because i got boot off the stage and fucking uh westbury music do you know how great that is that people hate you in the front the side and the back booing boo because i thought i was from philadelphia boo

you suck boo boo and i was like fuck and i had this cute little like half brawn i was sweating so bad it slid down so it looked like i had stomach tumors and my sister caron drove all the way up from philly two and a half hours and we like locked eyes at one point and she looked at me like what do you want to do you want to fight this whole fucking room i'll fight everybody in here you don't even because she was pissed because she drove all the way and the next night in jersey at the state theater same thing now more my family was there my brother johnny charlie my sister caron eating every they were like well fuck it fight everybody but we you know it's what i had to deal with and then i had to take off not take off take off a year from andrew and then work the real

like hardcore circuit of going on three four times a night and getting your fucking seeing if this is really what you want to do because and i did start late and the one thing that i have it's not about people trying to fuck me they like to fuck me because they know my eggs are dead there's no way i'm getting pregnant you know what i mean i'm 44 years old it's fucking old you know i'll be 44 in august that's crazy that's an old lady pretty much no but in in hollywood that's an agist you know what i mean like they're like oh but i started late i've been doing this eight years now i started late so it was more like i don't feel like i mean sometimes you get head on but at the same time you're like you know well she fuck dies we can't tap we can't top that

so they kind of don't get you know get involved but i think they're always like oh she's old you know what i mean i don't know i i don't care i don't you can put any label you want on me i'm still fine i'm 52 i'm still funny i'm gonna fuck the farm old i don't give a fuck what they think but i'm saying in hollywood they hollywood absolutely they do that to you like oh i've killed on shows killed killed killed and i remember this guy looking at me go hold you and i go what the fuck does that matter i just fucking killed i just destroyed you want to put me in your want to put me on a show there's a million fucking shows i could be on that i'm i can i can do it it's like i don't they look at you like oh you're gonna die this week what's happening you know like

i don't know if it's my name or my age or what do i look like i had a hip replacement about ten years ago at the store showtime did nine comedy specials show time show time what they were were uh mesina mesina baker you ready oh my god i remember that i'm gonna go for another piece no yeah yeah a little piece because that was light but they were like one of the best mesina baker was one of the best so mesina baker is behind the the i'm not doing this yes you got it you got much oh we're gonna split we're gonna split it he's cutting that nicely you gotta do it we're cutting every week this is this is it i can't get over that it looks like cranberry it's a star it's a star at david so mesina baker was behind the comic i don't think david's in that

i've always liked mesina he's behind the store and he's talking to somebody yeah and i'm sitting there and i'm talking to a woman i don't know who the fuck it was we're talking comedy and mesina baker turns around and goes you know as far as i'm concerned a woman in this town is dead he goes to be honest with you let's just go all around he goes a comic in this town is pretty much a woman's dead at 29 and a guy is dead at 32 he goes a guy died acting was no i'll stand up wise really there's not much i could do with him and i remember going home and they were showcasing people every night they showcased uh who's on the road with gabriel now rick gutierrez oh he he helped me a lot and he puked he puked before he went up and i brought him a towel i'll never

forget that mesina came over and tried to help him i go can i talk to you for a second i go last night you made a fucking statement out there and this is me like i didn't give a fuck if he was mesina baker i didn't know him a couple times we talked he said hello he was from long island yeah they were great guys to be honest i love both of them and i go how can you make that statement last night and he goes what statement i go the guy is dead when he's dirty too and a fucking woman is 26 is dead when you see a girl standing i don't know who it was right some of your feelings got hurt number one that feels got number two how much money did you make off tim allen he was no 32 when you got him here and that fucking drew carry was an old man too when you got him here you made

a ton of money on fucking old guys what are you talking about you made tim allen was no fucking 32 when you signed him well yeah he was no fucking 32 was no fucking 32 so for you to make that statement and the next night he saw me he goes i thought about what you said yeah you're right funny is funny at any fucking age look at this betty white now she's 100 and now they're giving every fucking award in the world what was the last time she made you laugh 10 fucking years ago don't matter she's old and people reach out dice clay is funny look at this other insult comic dice is 57 i think he's still fucking hilarious he's still fucking hilarious listen these guys get better you know it's life it's life it's like anything else just because a person isn't selling tickets

and he's irrelevant in your mind yeah doesn't mean he's not improving growing as an artist yeah that's what these people don't like somebody call me other than that we gotta switch to you because david tell us to listen man i can't go down but the situation was that david tell wasn't selling tickets and they were scared and i go i want you to think about that statement yeah that i sell tickets and david tell don't fucking sell tickets that is just it's too it's a fuck he's a comic he's a real comic but because one of my favorites he's not gentrified no more because you guys passed on him he sells 10 tickets a show bobby slayton called me by the way the other had me how another guy that these guys just get funnier they get funnier just because you stop

going to see him because you go see anthony jeslinick doesn't mean david tell isn't getting fucking funny you know and i just say david jeslinick could be you go see joe dears or joe rogan doesn't mean that fucking david tell is not one of the funniest guys on the road today but in people's mind because oh well you know he's not hot no more whatever the fuck however people judge it it's crows it's close and with you i don't know i saw it last night when i left i was watching you when they brought you up after and i was in the back i had to talk to the girl and i watched and i got in the car and i go that's amazing a couple years ago she was a fucking waitress and you know you gotta play this hand more and this is a hand that people do not know

and i didn't know about it there's a thing that i like called being friends with people right now what's the hottest show on television that that empire oh yes i love it i talked to eddie velez the way i talked to you yeah head right on yeah yeah yeah yeah i know eddie velez yeah he's fucking years i know eddie velez when he was fucking riding a bicycle he was an assistant right eddie velez has the hottest show on television as the head writer yeah but eight years ago i used to talk to eddie all the time when he was in the system he used to buy plane tickets for a fucking doctor that's how we met that's a star you understand me so right now eddie velez has the hottest show let's say this year they write something and they write a chubby fucking guy

and i go in there people gonna go fucking joey dears man whatever he you know i knew the guy you ever you ever be a kid and your father goes you need a job go see that guy he's needs somebody at the funeral parlor yeah yeah same thing happens in hollywood that's true i came home before and the lady wana was folding clothes in the living room when she was stuck on the hbio and grudge matches on yes she goes oh oh ho se look you're on tv i didn't know you were this woman my son was watching this and she goes how did you get and i'm looking at it going if she knew that i knew the director but the director just called me who fuck but then again how many calls have i've gotten for well i shouldn't say bad movies that was no kind of me a world winner

but how many calls have i gotten for sag low budgets because i knew the director yeah just yesterday monday everything you get is who you know it's who you fucking know pretty much so it's not when people say oh well he jennifer aniston got fucking nothing pisses me off when somebody says jennifer aniston got friends because her father well you know what jennifer aniston how did the fucking spray herself she proves the spread don't get me wrong rain prior is unproven yoko almost shawn that worthless sack of shit that's a sack of shit he's never done nothing you've never heard nothing shawn fucking okoh whatever's name is shawn lennon did and you'll never hear nothing all those kids are rich people yeah they're fucking worthless okay some of but

you have some people that have the michael douglas is a fucking savage yeah and you'll always be a fucking savage okay there's michael douglas and then there's eric you know when the paltrow is a savage you know whether she's what's her name is mother or not when a paltrow has done some great fucking parts in movies how'd you bring her up i'm angry at her right now i fuck her with the food stamps so why would you make that thing nobody can live off food stamps no because no we can live off food stamps before they fuck them bucks a week only regular she's retarded who doesn't even know what life's about no they don't none of them do they make up they make so much money that they focus on something else and they're so out of touch and you cannot blame them for that yeah

it's not their fault do you think it's because like everyone like i've seen it like i've been lucky enough to have to meet joe rogan people when they talk to him and i can i see it with you too sometimes they just all they want to do is agree and be like oh yeah i think i think the same thing you do and and you're the best and that's great but when i hear an actor starting to get really have like a political message if it if it's not because if it's not like i understand myself bogey and his wife's mom has all timers that's fine but just like a random like why is angelina joly like a u n something to like but she does do a lot well she's but like we're a little bit okay maybe she's a good one i don't i don't know much about angelina she's a good person she gives

a lot she doesn't she doesn't necessarily stand there and say you have to do this this and this okay she goes out and literally like well isn't is bono annoying is by no i can't even get off bono is bad i don't know well i know it's like i want to see what you're saying i get like gwyneth paltrow putting out a cookbook that no one can live by because no one can afford that stuff wait she put on a food stamp cookbook something crazy like a family guy joke also her vagina steaming thing it costs like $10,000 to get your vagina steamed why do you want to get steamed she says that it takes all the toxins out of your body i've been doing the ghetto version joe i've been going to the gym and doing child's pose in the steam room if i could get out

like a family day dude remember when you get sick remember when you get sick as a kid what do you get the port of rica the jews invented yeah you're a tub of water you put some vicks around that motherfucker you open up that snatch you put a towel over it you let that steamy vicks get in there that cleans everything out that takes all the toxins out everything mullin yon moose juice everything that's on the fucking side she said it makes it smaller too so that's why i was trying it nothing bothers me more than somebody goes well look at the kim kadashian diet and somebody in philadelphia mom and philadelphia is looking at first of all you work 10 hours a day she was built by the time you fucking get home you can't even do a jumping jack that's right so now this lady here gets up at

10 in the morning with cucumbers on her eyes she's got 90 people pampering her cooking for her she's got a lady who picks her up brings it to the gym and stretches her out you know for the money she makes she's got to have something she's got somebody brushes her teeth and douches her that's a difference as people think that oh wow you know fucking uh shon penda the shon penda millionaire he pays his personal trainer 400 an hour to come over and wake him up with starbucks coffee that's right water and a protein fucking shit right and the best part is even with all that they still do photoshop none of the pictures you're seeing are actually what they look like exactly no one's gonna look like that that's what but if you don't know that that's crazy i don't understand why

like it's like saying well i was gonna say wrestling isn't real but and that's true wrestling is real fuck that we go i don't know what happened i don't know where we are go me bear and i'm all over the oh it's coming out of my pores right now i could see it it's cute i'm just really proud of you i don't know thank you i love that last night i went home and i was sitting i'm like you know with all the fucking crying i hear in comedy all the crying all the well you this happened to you because of joe rogan really like he called this happened to me i know i get it all the time you know and people always have that it's their way of saying they're inadequate like they didn't want to put the work in yeah lee what time do i call you every morning before 8 a.m and already i've done

two hours of fucking work but here's the thing and that's true it's more affordable you work all the fucking time i've always worked like this even when i was on blow so it doesn't matter it doesn't matter what got you in the spotlight you got you in the spotlight because if you weren't funny on what joe rogan's part or whatever they want to say you want to stood out joe rogan and i sat and talked about how you're the funniest person in the entire world like he can't get over like he it freaks him out he's like joe dies as the funniest person i've ever met my life hands down no matter what we talk on the phone it's crazy yeah i mean he's just a dorge i mean and does any part of you think about like not working with us anymore for a little bit i hate that fucker i want to get away

from him i'm kidding no i love no you i'll tell you what i want though i want to go on my own i do i want to start headline because i have a couple of headlining gigs coming up and andrew says that he's like that's your next step you got to go yeah like you got to get out and and like um he's had some amazing people open for him like norton uh sebastian they opened for him for years eddie griffin i mean chris i'm going way back but he uh he me and bobby lee and norton the bad boys of comedy in las vegas oh my god remember that wait bobby lee was on i don't remember that we did bob we did uh that we did a couple different cities yeah i love that he said some shit and and it's funny when i left you last night i was thinking about dice and i'm thinking about responsibility

as a comedian you know you have this responsibility you have responsibility to yourself to right and to get on stage and to take care of yourself and then as you progress you also have responsibility to help other guys like just a word or or you know encourage somebody who was at the same point you may be thinking equating and that's the other responsibilities you have as a comic you know you know how big andrew dice clay's contribution is to comedy oh my god canison danger field because not only they make you laugh they also make people change their own lives that's right when i got out of prison and i fucking went to mani to mino's house and he goes i gotta show you this guy and he put in dice's tape my head almost blew up like i fucking left there like furiously i'm like

this guy's thinking what i'm thinking right like it was fucking scary and i was in a halfway house and you got out of prison they put you in a halfway house and i failed and they put me back and for new years i spent i spent in the halfway house and i put dice's tape and eight gorillas watched it and we were howling we watched it three times to four in the morning straight sober drinking fucking sodas and eating potatoes and i remember that i said you know i gotta try this because of what this guy does you know and i know for a fact for two years every time i went on stage i was like what would dice do and you know and then i got to the store and there he is just hanging out and one night he had scott upset like i had never talked to him the first time i saw andrew at the store

i was a little intimidated and i go you know what he was with his fucking cousin oh yeah with the glasses yeah he's not around no no he moved back to new york or dashville and uh and uh i didn't say nothing to him and then one night he was up there with scott day about 11 45 12 o'clock what the fuck is andrew doing up here at that time and he wasn't going up they were up there to watch luka and and mike marino oh because there was a he wanted to make a point he was saying he's doing me get rid of him so andrew's point was luka and fucking mic marino a fucking doing me man yeah so he had scott and it's just us he had scott day i'd never spoken to dice he's got scott day and he's young and scott day scott day was a town coordinator at the time yes yes he's now in

bandcock molesting young boys we miss you scott i love him scott day scott day is what we mean ready so he hits me he hits me once a year telling me how much he hates joe rogan i love him he hates joe rogan he wants to beat him up and i love it i'll fight joe rogan i wrestled joe a little bit less but uh he was saying how uh what the fuck were we talking about oh scott day so andrew was yelling like andrew was pissed yeah and i had my coke was in my pocket i was a still little sober and i said i'm gonna raise my hand before anything gets ugly and i go excuse me andrew mr clay i don't mean to but in scott i go they're not doing you andrew they're emulating you until they get their own voice well that's not fucking right and who the fuck are you who told

you you could but i go andrew i'm not being a dick yeah i did you for two years and now i've been doing comedy for seven i don't do you no more we don't do your jokes yeah we do you until we realize what we are and some women do lucille ball some women do uh allen until they realize who you are you know when we got to the store everybody would pull me aside like i hate joe rogan he does kennison he's not doing fucking kennison yeah he he got inspired by kennison so you see it when you listen to sound garden blow up the outside world you go that's a great song but it's the beatles he got inspired by the fucking beatles right i heard tlc last week they listen to the fucking beatles obviously there were three black girls from fucking atlanta yeah when you're influenced by

somebody it comes out in your heart yeah just a little bit you go oh shit when you go to jujitsu when you learn to move the guy goes no put your elbow down by his head when you do the comorra that's his little trick yeah so now people see you do it they go oh he no it works better for you yeah and and and ju turned his back on me walked away with scott day and two days later my phone rang and it was andrew saying this is what you said to me i thought about it so we all fucking emulate somebody exactly what wait wait i'm thinking of one time we were in the hallway and uh brian holstman it was during the uh oj trials what was that lady's name marcia she was a the district attorney marcia whatever marcia's something whatever so andrew was doing a joke about her

and so was holtman and it was very similar but it was different you know it was holtman's take and it was dice's take and uh andrew confronted him and he was like you know brian i'm doing that show you know we're doing the same joke and brian goes hey man sometimes we just overlap he walked away and andrew was just standing there dumbfounded and he was like he's fucking right he goes you know what you're right sometimes we just overlap are you the only person to call him andrew i just i'm sorry i've always heard i've always heard dice claiming it's like it's like just sounds like andrew andrew yeah i've always did yeah it was just his face was so great but sometimes when somebody really stands up to him and isn't a yes yes yes man like lee was

saying how people just agree with you he loves him you yeah he they become okay that person's real that person's not gonna just finger bang me because they like my leather jacket or whatever they want to be they want to open for me or they want something from me they tell the truth and holtman is the epitome of that so he was hey we just overlap and that was it he walked away it was so great but it's that happens and you're right people my favorite comic in the whole world to watch at the store was judy gold i can never get enough of judy gold i would listen to it on a loop i've i mean if if i had a full tray of drinks and judy gold was on i'd stand there and let the ice melt i didn't give a shit i watched judy gold she was my favorite

to watch at the store all the years and so i think when i first started i was kind of because my favorite thing about her is she's so fucking aggressive and she just says whatever and i was like that i think in the beginning i think i did judy if you will but and you know i never like did her jokes but i do see what andrew's saying with the leather jacket but that's an east coast thing so he does a little a little bit too much think every you know like oh he's doing me and it's not that he's doing you i mean what was the jimmy and joey remember them they were going oh and andrew made them stop deal with me you can't stop it so then they would go up and they'd be like they do their

joke and they couldn't tag it with the oh so they just kind of awkwardly jimmy and joey it's an italian comedy group they've been around her life for 20 years jimmy's the same but they've gone through 19 joey's they've gone through 19 the original joey was his real brother right and he quit when your brother quits the band you know you got a fucking problem they had a fight and that was it there was one time it was on craigslist he was looking for a joey and we wanted to submit damai rara and dice like to actually go in and audition wait is it scripted no yes yes the jokes or the same yes it's the same act they're doing it up here they do it up here it's the same act they do that venzanos you know we should go let's see what it is now i'm always out of town well

what happened the last time i saw them at the store he cuts down damai rara went up with mike favorman and they were the oi brothers they did the jewish version of them because you know how they go it's made balls and so they those two were like matzah balls like just remember jimmy what was the kid who died got blessed so fat james oh fat james he was uh jimmy and joy he was one jimmy delavala viny life bulbs viny kapola was uh his father was electric what did he tell you viny life bulbs that's the greatest name i've ever heard his real name is viny like no his name is viny kapola but his father owns electrical companies he's calling viny life bulbs i feel like i did a show with him that name yeah really nice guy looks like god it looks like alpachino

godfather too yeah sometimes i remember like a new guy would come in with jimmy and i or joey whichever one that's him real good looking i would think oh no he got um he's gonna be a joey or jimmy whichever one that sounds like it'd be terrible to go to sober but being high i think you know when they do it they do it at victor ritorio it was some Italian restaurant yeah they were doing that rockos for a while he told me i couldn't do it because i was too dirty so i told me go fuck himself did he really yeah i was like what are you talking about dirty what are you oh you gotta be clean i go okay then tell me it's clean i could do a clean show i'm not an asshole i know what i'm doing i had to do a clean show for harry basal last week i wanted to kill myself

two weeks ago it's a laugh factory so he makes you work clean no no me and dom we're doing the laugh factory and frasier so we were at the uh tropicana is where the laugh factory is in vegas so we're there and he goes hey there's this show during the day it'll help it's a radio thing it'll help promote you know the night show but you gotta be clean it's a five minute set we didn't have to be clean for harry's show for the laugh factory but we had to be clean on this i go there and it's at the south point casino 400 people i'm like wow two o'clock in the afternoon 400 people that's crazy where are you gonna get 200 people four o'clock in the afternoon well i figured out where they're gonna fucking get them they were wheeling them in they all had oxygen the the the the youngest one

yeah the youngest one was dead like it was awful like i mean it was so everybody it was all blue hairs like i never who did the show with you it was a guy named denis bono something like that and he sang a frank sinatra song in the beginning he had a big band behind him i wanted to i was on the phone with my boyfriend outside i go babe i can't go in there i can't do this i there's no way i can do this i can be clean but this is crazy i don't know my might not be able to hear me like these people are dead they have fucking oxygen what do you what do i do and he's like oh i wouldn't do it if i were you and then he's like trying to come up with bits that can they can relate to he's like talk about going to the doctor and i wound up just

doing shit about my dad's typewriter store and they loved it but five minutes i was sweating that was a hard one i said why does harry bezel hate me those are the worst when you're doing your senate ain't going your way and you feel that one drop of sweat come out of your head and roll down the back of your head you know you're in trouble you feel the heat going up to your cheeks your body won't triples you feel like moisture coming in your armpit your nuts that get sweaty as fuck nothing like having a fucking bad set that's how i feel right now when you get that sweat and you breathe you get that sweat in the fake cleavage that i fucking make for the show let me give some shout out for you move us along here jim jorgensen in new jersey i love

you cocksucker go to vinnies and tell them who fucking sent you hamile haddad keep doing what you're doing you love hamile i love hamile hamile's my fucking main terrorist yes laia anand as you sexy bitch down in south texas the stonest guide i'm watching in san diego harry gelkis young i see you this weekend in tempe d in colorado you bad motherfucker uh i gotta tell you what happened the other day i went to my fucking mailbox for the first time in like six months dwayne and teresia satellite sent my daughter a church of what's happening now tutu no oh my goodness with the fucking headpiece and everything with the cross on the front it is beautiful i just want to thank dwayne and teresia satellite and leila's uh la boutique dot com they got beautiful

tutu dresses she's she makes them handmade you gotta take a picture of it oh i'm gonna take a picture and put her up i also got some kettlebell cards some vectoral kettlebells that were fucking tremendous i love kettlebell uh what else i got uh john cutler sent me a beautiful cellar crew cd i mean it's amazing the shit i get in the mail so thank you all i still got to talk to my people over at access the roach clip of the stars this is fucking tremendous this thing it is it really is it's a roach clip but the whole thing i just like really intense like gold yeah i gotta learn how to work it correctly but look at this shit it comes with the whole thing you gotta push it and then it has the tube and you and you go like this and i don't fucking know but anyway i gotta

figure it out that's why but the issue is you don't really you have to you're gonna have to plan because you don't usually leave roaches i know you gave away that bag of roaches i love you told me to give them more i didn't fucking tell you nothing i don't like i gave them away they were just like it was like a it was a film access 2000 look at this thing oh shit oh that's how it does this is fucking tremendous here go to access go to the access 2000 dot com and take a look at this device this is pretty fucking neat it's a roach clip like a old school yeah old school with the gold tip they're fucking around the future of marijuana we should have had it when we were doing it at my house because that's when you had it you would smoke like 34 joints i know but

if i'm saying he smoked like three or four joints for per podcast and he had a pill canister filled to the brim like i had to squish it down and close it of of just roaches and i think i threw him away when i was so stinky oh so the roach you can't smoke don't you eat it no you can't you just it's hard to grab you know that's why i just go old school on you know i would eat a roach all the time i leave won't eat it with the ashes and shit but i give him chocolate what are you talking about you eat your roaches do you get high from that eating the roaches i think you eat like 55 of them you might get fucking high but in the old day i don't you know the trash cans exist right you could throw your gum in the road to the way i thought it was like a thing i thought

it was like an extra kick because my friends would do that oh i gotta eat the roach i gotta eat the roach and i was like what the fuck i'm doing like i would never eat the butt of my cigarette oh you know what i mean we're gonna throw up you want another piece edible no you need a piece you need a piece because your eyes are still almost open you want another little piece let's do it leave no i'm gonna die yeah we were already 6 000 milligrams we were another one we had to open another one and open up another one who runs like that only a church or what's happening now bitches running deep and shit you bad mother fuck this i love it look at the flying juice rubbing his one eyeball he's gonna end up like my buddy the one i do the one i do you take a one i do friend

yeah he's he grows weed and hash and he makes these smuggles and he fucking he told me smokes and mash his eyeball popped out so now he just took it out he has an eye patch fuck that's how high he is you know i'm saying i don't know what's this blue show about on saturday the blue show is about uh it's uh dice presents kind of thing and um he hosts and he puts five comics on like what ronnie did for him basically is what he wants to give back and um i did get a little choked up the other day because i read an article he did and he in the headline it said uh i want the world to know who uh ellen are carrying it in so i was like oh my god and uh i mean because it was exciting because jason roush is on it he's a terrific comic i don't know if you know him eric mayers is one

of my favorite up-and-coming comics and then there's uh steve wilson who's a great comic he's been around for a while um the band brothers chad the korean chad who are terrific i just did their uh naughty show dirty show i fucking love that show and uh yeah we had a blast i did it last wednesday i love what they told the audience they were like uh just steal show time just order it and then cancel it order it on thursday cancel it on monday which is a great idea but those two killed and then uh wheels parisi and oh and uh the good-looking guy uh calling cain he also he's been around he's he was hot for like uh i remember he did a store a show at the store in the main room i had no idea he was and i was like oh they said oh the main room sold out tonight you know because

i went to park my car to do a show in the or and as i get there it was packed i'm like what the fuck is happening demmy more everybody came to see this guy he's real hot calling cain and uh he sold out the fucking main rooms i didn't even know he was that's how big comedy you know i don't know who we don't know who everybody is and he's he did great he was he's nice looking kid he's a nice guy and uh he's pretty like aggressive on stage kind of filthy and um somebody said oh he's doing dice you know 30 years ago because he like kind of is real offensive but it's not it's different and he's he's he's on it too he's great it is this saturday yeah friday i am proud i'm the only chick uh kind of you know bigger balls than most of those guys but uh there's it's five comics and

me and i'm just i'm excited i just excluded myself from it i don't know why but i am i'm really excited it airs friday night 11 o'clock on show time is your first time on tv second first time nobody noticed uh that was stand up in stilettos i'm surprised you guys didn't know that and uh on the tv guide network but you had to be clean for that and you had to write the whole set out you ever have to do that that's impossible dude that was the worst the worst do you know jeff singer oh my god i love jeff singer i i showcase for because i got cocky the first two years so i had my friend stacy mark over at william marz call and get me in for uh showcase for montreal yeah still around oh my god she's like the vp at william marz comedy department oh that's right

stacy mark is joe is joe's uh yeah sure joe rogan's agent yeah that's right uh joe's one of her favorite clients um sells the most tickets and the least he's not a bitch you know what i mean she loves joe rogan so anyway so she got me an audition for montreal two years in the nerve of me but i still i did really well and everyone from the showcase remembers me so jeff singer i just didn't get to montreal but jeff singer called me up two years later and said hey you'd be good for this stand-up in stilettos why don't you submit your stuff you have to write it all out but i met him through the showcase and rachel roush was also a a judge or whatever and now she's a an agent at icm and so um i did it he called me i had to write everything out it was the fucking scariest thing

because you can't say like if i had a joke with tit in it you had to change it to boob or whatever the political you know those seven words you can't say on television kind of bullshit and oh my god the first i sent it i was sweating i was at a fedex all night because you know i don't know i grew up in a typewriter store i don't know what the fuck's happening so i'm in a fedex store all night i must have spent a hundred dollars of all the money i was making with dice in vegas that weekend just to type it up scan it and send it to jeff and then he'd send it back telling me what i had to correct and then i thank god there wasn't a lot of corrections but i did really well and it was but i got a little bit cut off in editing so some of the jokes that's a problem when you do tv

on a short set you can get you're like oh i killed i killed and then they're like oh we needed more time so we cut that punch line and then the joke doesn't make sense you know what i mean so that tape isn't my favorite but i use it still a little bit of it because they did cut out a couple things but i had a good set and it was it was a great experience that was like two years ago three years ago and now this but this is just me being me which i love i curse it's it's dirty i talk about vegans i fucking hate vegans uh uh it feels great it feels great it feels fucking great to be a gangster feel like a kid again like i'm on my own street gang i got my corner jacket on twelfth and wolf you know what i mean nobody knows when you've just had a great set and you've been doing

it for three or four years and the thing is going going your way in your life and yeah you're not really broke but you are broke but you really want something like just to want it yeah there's nothing like to want like you had that one when you were a child like i want this and and nothing nothing i had nothing like that as an adult except for cocaine i wanted cocaine but then when i got into comedy excuse me you just want to be so good yeah so fast and you have all these disappointments throughout the way you have two hundred fucking disappointments before you even feel good about yourself that's tough skin oh yeah seeing right there in that development right there if a guy wants to hit on you ain't nothing because you've been told no from agencies like all those names

you mentioned stacey mark nice lady she's one of my favorite people in the world really oh you're stand up or you're person i think the whole package richard ross fucking hates me from a to z it's hysterical every one of them were so nice these are the comedy people that run this town and they fucking ate me richard ross every time she just turns her back let me tell you ladies get your shit together because this is the fucking man right here joe deez that's crazy if they hate you oh it's just and i don't listen i am in this bubble right now that i love i do comedy i go on the road i'm happy yeah you know they want to give me work they give me work if they don't yeah it doesn't matter i've been here for 20 years just a point that i survived yeah yeah when i came here

with all the knows because there was only one person who dug me her name was mittie sure yeah and that's all that matters to me at that time she got it she got it from the beginning where everybody else threw everything else in to tell you no oh no he does coke he's too old he's too fat but you didn't say he wasn't funny you didn't say you didn't say none of that you threw everything else in which i understand would just shake hands and part friends and you never really have to deal with me and i get that but it's just so weird when you do have like a when you do book a marin and the guy from ivc comes up to you at a show and says bro i watched a lot and that was great i can't believe people don't know what the fuck you know that makes you feel good and i can't imagine

how this blue show makes you feel i can't and i wished it went the way we wanted it in the beginnings everybody we wanted on there was on it but you know you have to deal with some shit and that's just how it goes but you know what if it goes well if it generates good heat he wants to do more so and that's other comics getting opportunity to be themselves because not a lot of us fit into the cookie cutter things that you're talking about like that i don't think i'd ever be on comedy central in just because i don't think they put me on comedy central because a i'm elderly considering you know according to their bullshit but it doesn't mean what they have on their shitty either amy schumer is one of my favorite comics her show is great

she fucking hits everything i love her you can't get any better than that and she puts all her favorite comics on there like the nortons and the uh it tells all them are on that like she puts them on her uh the inside amy schumer i couldn't think of that but yeah um so that i love comedy central does take certain chances but they wouldn't with me and i don't think they would with you either i would never get an hour and i don't care either you move on i am going to do an hour and i'm with whatever the fuck i want to put it you know what in this career you're going to do 90 hours yeah it's going to be with them or without them that's right either sign on yeah or you're going to do whatever the fuck you do it because i am doing an hour and dice is going to produce it

are you yeah because they they offered it at show time the guy said uh let's do an hour with her little arab dude um well actually it was montoya but uh he was like you know everybody loves her so let's do that show time i did a movie for him montoya is it gary garfunkel no it's a little guy uh because we also have a show uh dice sold a show to show time straight to series and it's kind of about uh we were gonna do it as a reality show but then we wanted to do it like a hybrid like a scripted and um it we used to pitch it together and then uh scott armstrong came on board who did like old school and hangover so he was like let me fix this and so he did with the same idea and the same shit that dice wanted and it went right to series so it's six episodes on show time

so show time's like big in our corner if you will yeah and so um now everything changed so i might have to audition for the part that you always have to you always have to you know what i will that's even better i will and i'll get that you have to go you have to yeah people do that just so they're safe and i get it you know and that's cool because because scott armstrong's the real deal the guys the other guys that are writing at the first brother shan first and his brother are fucking amazing so i will show i'll do flips i'll do whatever they need me to do i'll do head whatever oh that came out wrong whatever uh i've uh last night i had a good set the the left factor you killed and as i looked to the left hand side the first person that was there to

say hello was you yeah and uh that was the last topic we want to touch on you know you're a fan of arish you know mine were fans of yours yeah i love it we've all been part of a family for 20 years almost yeah and uh i think one of the basic things in growing is a comic is cheering your friends on you know arie is right now arie shooting a fucking movie in atlanta with uh really what's his name i don't know what's uh i don't i'm so happy i hangover oh i got a fanatic and the dude from man man so last night i had a spot at 8 30 i had a spot at 10 45 all right and i uh can people know that i had a spot that has by late oh no about arie shut up okay so i uh went over to uh i had a kill time i didn't want to go to the store at nine o'clock i walked out of laughter at 904 yeah

and i got in the car and i went down crescent heights i went up found in the phone ring there was arie and i pulled over like what's up like you're in atlanta right he goes yeah he goes i just want to tell you something because i went on this set today he goes you know the first thing i thought of he goes he didn't work today he just wanted to get wardrobe yeah he said he goes i thought about when i came to see you on the cell along this yard and you got me the pastrami sandwich and we went over and talked to and talked to whatever how cool you are to me and man i want to thank you 10 years later because it's exactly 10 years wow so we've all listened man to grow as a human being to grow as a comic you know i always say that if you walk past a piece of paper and you don't pick

it up you got no character like yeah nobody's watching it that's when your character is what you're doing nobody's watching that's right and with a comic your character has to be big i improved as a comic when i started working out and taking care of myself believe it or not just going to the gym and watching what they eat and you know what i don't need to watch son's anarchy till two in the morning yeah let me go to sleep at 11 and get up at six and read this and and that part of being a good comic you know writing is part of being a good comic getting on stage is part of being a good comic but you know what the biggest part of being a great comic is i want to get between good comics and great comics are that they really have happiness in their hearts

for the people around them you know because it's not easy to be happy there's a lot of motherfucking i'm not gonna sit here and tell you at least my witness there's a lot of motherfuckers i don't like it and i wish they'd get hit by a fucking train but the motherfuckers that i the motherfuckers that i do like that i breathe for that you're happy you know it's funny i already had a situation a couple weeks ago where people were attacking you know and i got a couple calls in my house let me just i got a million calls let me just tell you guys where my head is at i'm gonna tell you to your face i'm gonna tell you to your fucking face nobody in my planet could come to me and tell me something about leah do you know what that means so i don't give a fuck

you want to complain to leah throw a beating on leah but don't you ever come to me and tell me about leah same thing when it comes to eleanor don't come to me and tell me about eleanor you know for years people come to me and tell me what rogan did over the weekend and then when you know tommy that con capperulo would come to me all the time and tell me when when joe comes back he's not and i would say to him you know first off you tell me again i'm gonna smack both of you don't come to me and tell me about my fucking friends right don't you ever come to me when i was a kid i was a fucking criminal i don't know and i would like borrow like i go up to eleanor at a bar that hung out with dice and wheels and they all hung out the comic so i go up

to eleanor and go eleanor i want a kilo of coke and i wouldn't pay you the next day you'd say he's coming to the store you go to the store and joey wouldn't be there so who would you go to leah and go what the fuck is your punk ass friend right and my friends used to say number one you want to tell you talk about him i don't care what the fuck went down yeah and number two don't come and talk to me about my fucking friends don't you ever come and disrespect me about my friends go tell them but i don't give a fuck because in my world leah you don't do nothing wrong right i don't give a fuck if our chick is about to die you're pregnant you kick her in the fucking stomach and she dies on the boards in my world you did nothing wrong and that's the way that's how i was raised when you

got friends they don't do nothing wrong when you live and die for a motherfucker because there's a big difference between acquaintances and a friend and your brother god big difference yeah big difference i'm talking about my brothers well since i've been 20 nobody could come up to me and tell me something my story about my brothers not any time in my life they're my brothers and i love them my sisters listen you're barking on the wrong tree i don't give a fuck if they shot your mother in the head point mic range in my eyes my friends don't do nothing wrong so take your fucking magic elsewhere right so when i see you doing what you're doing when i see arie in the movies dog my dick gets hard and that's what people understand to be a great great comic you gotta be happy for

your friends you gotta sincerely be fucking happy when they make a positive move me and we talk about 10 000 steps that get opportunities and we say how they're gonna fail they're fucking douchebags because they're douchebags that's how they're thinking about when me and lee started a podcast i know them yeah you know when i went to the when i left the store was i didn't leave the store because i left the store because i had neck surgery yeah and they took a fucking ball out i'm cuba number one i'm superstitious they took a fat ball out and when the doctor said to me you want to see it and he showed it to me first thing i thought about was the store you know i thought about when you get off stage and you have a good set and there's comics that come up to you and they

give you a hug and they go what's up but there's motherfuckers that come up to you and you can see as the words are coming out of them uh it pains them to say it and as you say thank you man they go that joke we loved and you turn away they go it's probably i'm fucking coke that piece of shit you know that you know what comics do that and you know what comics are really happy for you yeah and when i saw that fat ball that's all i thought about that fat ball was all the negativity on my back i'm never going to the store again that's what happened once i saw that fat ball i'm like that's the fucking store that's that negative that people looking at you going that's a great joke joe there's so many funny fucks if it wasn't for fucking rogan or dice that motherfucker would be

nowhere both you know so i gotta tell you and i told my wife last night i told my wife this morning i'm having an eleanor and i'm very fucking proud of it because uh you were slinging drinks me and terry and i'm sure that when you told people to be comics they looked at you and said whatever yeah you know and look at you now mitzi first now you're on fucking show time mitzi first she looked she was like oh no that's what she said but i showcased for her and i didn't bomb and she liked it she passed you no tommy did technically but she stopped coming in that's why because you know i didn't start this till 2008 2007 i just hit eight years february february one uh i want to say like around the 12th i have to look it up but it's something like i still have the paper

from adam uh adam barnhart's room in the belly room he used to hook me up a lot remember adam barnhart he's still every sunday night good guy every sunday night is in there clean sober he also had a class so he let me take the class and he knew i was broke so he let me take that class for free and it was like stage time and everybody else in the class paid and i used to feel so guilty because i didn't you know so i would help him with his music or whatever the fuck he wanted if you want to free drinks at the store i could get you that i still have shift drinks i haven't drank 12 years on the fucking job you know what i mean so i got like 7 000 drinks left i think and uh so i would get him whatever he wanted wooders anything he needed at the store you know and mitzi

you know said he never gets to because he's such a good guy so she's like just leave him leave his show alone and he does team up with other producers and try to fill that room but for the most part every sunday night he's here what can i say uh i think it's eight eight to ten let me go see him and give him a big fucking hug oh he's the fucking greatest guy he's the greatest he was a great fucking god he helped me so much and when i had to go on the road with dice i was only doing stand up three months and and i did that i got boot off the stage he helped me with that first eight minutes big time and he knows he's a coach he knows really well he used to give me some great hugs people say well you let that gay guy hug you like oh he's the fucking funny you guys he's

fucking gay balls that motherfucker fight he don't give a fuck that dude will fight you he'll stab you i love adam bonard that's my boy right i want to go see him i didn't know he was back at the store he's been there he's never like every sunday night he's there and he also like he helps people in halfway houses and stuff he does a lot he does a lot he went down he went down hard he was on that mess for a while but uh oh yeah him and his brother how fucking weird is that how weird is that and they're both gay and he my favorite joke is how he tells his father that because he fights with his dad because both of sons are gay he's like you your balls are like the gay factory you know i can't i'm not doing it perfect but the way adam does it he's like the willy wonka gay factory

you've gotten your balls your shoot now faggots and he does this whole thing that's the best he's so funny how are you over there today my brother lee are you all right oh yeah there's a good high today huh there's a smooth i mean they're all fun i mean there's never a bad one when it's just man i don't get you cooking with gas cocksuckers i'm cooking with gas this weekend i will be at the tempi improv starting tomorrow night with my man diagostino elinor will be at i will be at uh the hard rock hotel lost vegas thursday friday saturday or friday saturday sunday okay and then also dice's kids are there playing in their killer band la rocks you guys gotta start some play some la rocks uh i saw them on conan whatever they want whatever show they want uh the

late late show with billy gardell yep billy gardell i saw them they're gonna be playing thursday and sunday in vegas at the same room but late night like 11 or 12 or something like that good so it's killer so i'm in uh the tempi improv thursday friday saturday and wednesday night uh testicle testaments is back at the motherfucking ice house eight o'clock wednesday at the 29th uh also for you bad motherfuckers that are sitting at home scratching your ass not doing nothing this weekend iran dragon tv is still there for you iran dragon tv dot com didn't go no leader in motherfucking classic martial arts films brotherhood of blood enter the fat dragon they got them all they got them fucking all you understand me all you gotta do is go to iran dragon tv right now you're thinking

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slave you know those little slave shorts they had in the fucking 1800 i think i think you're talking with the boy shirts that you hate so much no these are longer sweatpants that they cut it to knees with a little string around them if i've worked out with them both days comfortable as shit had the blue pair and the pink pair that's right i walk pink i don't give a fuck it's a rough pink what do i give a fuck i'm 52 i never suck the dick in my life what i got to be on unconscious about anyway hold on one thing i have and i don't know where pink pink pink but that's you because you're a fucking moutage me i'm a king of sweat i'm a sling and this is 78 you know what i'm saying anyway go to me on these dot com right now i gotta pair me on these right now and if you're

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forget saturday night 11 o'clock california time uh 11 o'clock oh yeah is it a friday friday friday what i say sad so that means it comes out at three o'clock show time uh no 11 o'clock 11 o'clock so eight o'clock in california eight o'clock in california listen if i know you're out can't get dick sucked i don't expect you to sit there and watch i don't know but do me a favor dv are it yes i'm home then not with your girlfriend then you watch elinor okay do me that favor as a personal andrew dice clay was one of the guys that helped me realize that i was gonna get into comedy which means he saved my life in a way so i'm not here just talking shit about people that every one of these comics man they spark a new fucking comic and that means you've done your

job you know so please support andrew support my girl elinor and collin and jason ross and weos parisi i love you guys we will speak back monday night with denis the fucking pimp of pimps to promote his new book from the bunny branch you'll be here monday night at eight o'clock at night with some freaks do you have the same girlfriend i don't know a different one's coming lee he says he's gonna he's bringing a chick that they call her judy one tooth she's gonna suck lee's butt right out of your fucking asshole wait wait wait before we go tell them why you like the one tooth what that's a big thing for you you like you're having a chick with one tooth stuck your would you stop i don't know what he's talking about his eyes for this fucking guy i love you

guys stay black elinor carrigan i love you where you're gonna be beside uh vegas this week where else can they see you have a web page yes i do a website elinor j carrigan dot com yeah okay dot com go check her out she's a dear friend and uh she's got balls of steel to do what she does never complains a lot of people when i walked in last night was like i'm gonna rush come hang on fuck no she hung around she did her job that's why she gets the most respect from me thank you very much motherfuckers thank you for supporting the church thank you for supporting lee and his podcast and if you want consulting on your podcast please hit lee up and twitter he'll call you up he'll come to your house he'll fix your wires it'll stick an electronic microphone up your ass if you need

to get that podcast out of you but lee's available for consulting i love you guys stay black have a great week monday night eight o'clock thank you i love lee's face like yeah it's i'm kind of confused i've started too it's been a lot of fun do you do websites and shit like that no but i'm gonna do the ads and then i'll they don't want to hear this oh shit now that the show's over don't forget to go to naturebox.com and sign up to get your free sample box of great tasting healthy snacks forget the vending machine and start snacking smarter with delicious treats like barbecue kettle kernels go to naturebox.com slash joey that's naturebox.com slash joey also go to meundies.com slash joey when you're at meundies.com check out the pics of the men's and women's underwear they have

and when you go to meundies.com slash joey you're gonna get 20 off of your first order with free shipping in the united states and canada go to onnet.com needs to go to church to get 10 percent off of your order of all their optimization products like alphabrand and new mood and go to iandragontv.com and use code word joey to get two free rentals of all the great martial arts movies there's a leader in 4k and when you go to iandragontv.com use code word joey now baby tell it's me by the field and now baby now i'm stuck in this alone you know what i'm here to say come to you in a stranger world baby you best get out of the way

oh no you can't turn around and if my heart gets in my way baby i'm gonna burn down you're in the night that you left me in my way you put me in my way got you out of strength oh oh baby we're gonna cross the road oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Sometimes you don't get higher, and sometimes you can't start low Some people think they're going to dance someday I don't get it, I got to go

Come on, come on, come on baby All that good is a rich man, you know you can't believe that If anybody else gets in the way, you're not going to die You ran that night to let me, you put me in my place You got too much time to hold baby, and you just don't play You got too much time to hold baby, and you just don't play