Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #288 - Josh Wolf, Joey Diaz, and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: June 3, 2015

Josh Wolf, Comedian and Host of the new TV Show, "The Josh Wolf Show" on CMT starting June 11, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. 
Nature Box. Visit Naturebox.com and use promo code Joey for a free trial box. Meundies.com Go to meundies.com/joey for 20% off. Iron Dragon TV. A New Roku channel with all the best martial arts films. Use Code word joey for two free rentals. Recorded live on 06/03/2015.
 Music:
 Back In The Saddle Again - Aerosmith Remedy - The Black Crowes

This show is sponsored by nature box nature box ships great tasting healthy snacks right to your door. Forget the vending machine and start snacking smarter with healthy and delicious treats like dark cocoa almonds. Support this podcast by ordering a free nature box sandwich box at naturebox.com slash joey. That's right. Totally free nature box snacks are found at naturebox.com slash joey Lee. What's up buddy.

What a natural reading. No. That we we had already yeah you'll see at the end also you'll see go to me on these dot com slash joey and check out the men's and women's underwear they have they have t-shirts socks pants shorts anything you want to wear me on these dot com slash joey and you're going to get 20% off of your first order and they're going to give you free shipping in the United States and Canada can ever say that word hi Canada and go what's up Canada yeah I can't it's hard go to on it dot com and use code word church to get 10% off all

the great optimization products like alpha brain new mood shumtec immune shumtec sport it's code word church to get 10% off wake up those fucking spirits cock sucker we're back bitches like arrow smith in 76 we didn't tap out yet this motherfucker josh wolf police I add your uncle joey is the church what's happened now cock suckers he's back in the saddle again fucking tremendous just fucking tremendous aero smith early aero smith is ridiculous and the youth of today does not even they think it started with love and elevate and that fucking shit with the run DMC that was cool shit wait but when you're talking about pump

pump aero smith and and toys in the attic aero smith is a different it's two different bands two different bands toys in the attic aero smith is a such great rock and roll such great rock and roll and I bet you early Stephen Tyler was a monster in concert rocks a monster a monster listen when you listen to get your wings and you hear the train kept a rolling they were fucking monsters I never every time I saw aero smith they were never good for me they got worse and worse in which years it's 77 78 that's kind of prime garbage garbage garbage sound the heroin they knew it they drug out if you pulled them aside now and go hey man I saw you in 77 no say I know we're sorry though that was a really bad massy messy

heroin II when I saw I saw him at the metal and open for Ted the first time I couldn't dog how excited was I yeah in my backyard we saw a poco Frank marino mahogany rush and when aero smith took that fucking stage it was something you know this this album to me rocks to me is my top five albums I don't play it no more because I wanted out it's like sabbath bloody sabbath to me but you like rocks more than toys a hundred times better that whole that whole side just you know and I described it to Lee this is what you have to picture okay they did the first down then they did the second now can you name what are all the songs on rocks the rock rocks is back in the saddle nobody's fault

going under rats in the cellar we're going under she's couldn't get her so is back in the no more no more last child last child no no it's the first side is death listen don't even don't even get the first side is dead but what happened with ever smith was that they put the first time on the second time out and they were the kings and all sudden something happened what happened was the heroin took over even even in even in their book they have a great by the way are you talking about walk this way the book walk this way the one when they all are all talking that was a great that was a great fucking book because you see what drugs do oh my god so how can me Lee and and Josh be in the same room fucked up and they ask us about

the same situation and we have three different stories sometimes two of the stories were close but it was what your eyes see but it's perception it's perception how they were perceived fucking tremendous guys tremendous yet if you're an erosmith fan so they were fucked up they were living in a house they didn't talk to each other yeah they had a sign of sheet to record yeah this is before rocks no now i'm in north bergen new jersey i'm just a dumb fucking spic kid in a neighborhood playing basketball and every day when we play basketball there was two types of kids that hung on that court there was the nerds that me and you know checker McBreen and we thought basketball was everything then there were these guys that hung around the side of the courts and they drank

beer and every once in a while you go into a fist fight with them and they smoke pot and they smoke cigarettes and listen to frampin comes alive and all that dumb shit which isn't bad i heard that yesterday pretty good fucking summer album yeah there's nothing wrong with frampton comes along no and i remember those guys saying how erosmith was over the rumor nationwide and lee and i've had this conversation was that if they were done the helen had taken over you know lech saplings was on the top of that game let it skid it was fucking making a run for it around the fucking corner i mean they were right there with horse number three i mean it was a tough time to be a musician elton john was starting to come off as high horse yeah i mean it was a different time

you gotta remember elton john was still around black sabre was still around erosmith was around rainbow was around all these fucking tremendous groups were around and on top ted new june was around on top of all this oh six or eight dirty white dudes had just blown the stones out and never which is like you know it's like going to fucking the white house and jerking off in malia's face what what's the what's the daughter with that that's the one yeah yeah right the fucking uh jerking off in the president's face mr obama michelle that's michelle malia's the dog melia's like like a 12 i'm sorry about that i don't want to jerk off in nobody's face but you have jerked off in somebody's daughter's face oh please

let's be honest if you find the chick to let you come on their face nobody ever says no we're like okay and then when you see the cum dripping down their face you're like i don't think i'm gonna call this bitch no more when he came in the chicks here yeah we discussed what he came in such some chicks here in a fucking road gig and ran out of it none of it ran out coming over here who puts cum in people's ears i didn't were you aiming or was it just like the left oh you know it was it was a uh she moved to the last second and where were you aiming for i don't remember i think she pulled she pulled her head out and back and it just kind of caught right in the cotter right in the and she said when

it's on their face and they want to have a conversation with you like that was go wash your face dog you're gonna sit there with that blob on your fucking blob with the fog on your face what's that monster the blob whatever the blob yeah the blob jump on your face and that's what nobody remembers so here's boston 1975 i love you all right back in it all it's about all boston's about is about the red sauce and the saltix because in the 75 well that was nobody was better than that that was just ramsky and lin and rice i don't even know what the hockey team was doing in 75 probably pretty good i don't even know what the brunands were doing bobby all were still playing yeah so i don't even know what they were doing so boston really wasn't about

music right there was no twitter there was no facebook there was the phone this phone with a long fucking oh the fucking road yeah so all of a sudden that was why i'm back is so important because everybody had written them off a lot of people don't know that we you know who remembers that only an idiot like me but wait when when when did rocks come out 75 look at it when the rocks come out 75 and toys came out uh 77 may 3rd of 76 very close oh shit tell me yeah yeah tell me when toys came when the toys come out 75 let's see here yes april 75 so toys was first yeah by a toy by the end of toys the rumors were like they're done they're done yeah they're in harrowingville nobody sees them joe perry left at the by that time the rumors that the singer was gone already

wait wait wait is that the second at toys was the second album no toys is the third so it's iris mit yeah walk your dog and uh dream on dream on the second one seasons of where the train kept rolling that's a great album the third one is toys in the attic the fourth one is rocks april 30 the 76 the fifth one is night in the ruts no i'm looking it up yes so start with iris mit get your wings toys in the attic uh rocks draw the line draw the line kings and queens but night in the ruts was fifth yeah that was that was that was horrifically bad that was terrible that was at the end he left they did the tour without joe perry he left joe perry joined the band the joe perry project and they had a singer named ralph mormon and i saw them open up for uh

heart at radio city music that was not good music uh that was not good music aeros then i saw aeros smith at the soap factory in like cliffside park new jersey and that was like watching somebody in the original room like these guys put out rocks these guys put out one of the great some of the greatest albums of all time and i'm watching these guys at the soap factory with twisted sister would play and sticky fingers like tribute bands you know i'm saying like dark side of the moon and he is the real aerosmith the drummer was still left there was only two of them the one guitar player was left and the singer the one guitar player left with the guitar right from ted new jen and they created what's the name of that band what was the name of ted new jen singer

you know online there ted new jen singer the reason why ted new jen died after the second or third album is because the singer left he went and the one who sings trombone derrick saint thomas derrick so saint saint holmes derrick saint holmes saint it was the name of the band was saint holmes boom they put an album out i don't remember that yeah yeah yeah yeah i was i this is what my life was i was a fucking drug addict and all i do is listen to music and have arguments about music and that's what you know if you read cream magazine those days that's what you did so you never saw them like because when we first met we would show me and you told me about like them starting underground and like people just being blown away who is that yeah no but all underground you know

but they they got popular by touring by touring like when they released that album the when they first released it it shit the bed it didn't do well at all and then the more they toured they rediscovered the album so people would just go to concerts then because if they if they were touring it's ten bucks yeah but that's how they made their night look you get a song on the radio and and you could sell tickets you could sell tickets yeah you know so that the ten bucks and you got to remember also that was right when everyone was look it was stadium rock people were going out to see shows like they're in numbers that they don't do right but i don't think it was stadiums then as much as a ring like i went to see all those bands at the mental lands the garden

right you know national coliseum they weren't doing those big the big the big thing in my generation was the us festival once the us festival started in 83 that kicked everything open because us the us festival they did in california in 73 missing persons van halen just a tremendous festival three days a fucking heavy journey anybody who was hot did the us festival anybody who was hot in 83 what's the us festival i'm looking for it i can't they still have it us but no no in 73 and they aired it 83 83 the us festival it was in june uh june and may of 83 and they did it nothing i got it i got it labor day weekend of 82 okay what's the lineup all right so on friday it was gang of four the ramones the english beat on go boi on go boi go

the b 52's talking heads in the police that's pretty strong that's pretty strong down give me the second fucking strong police in their fucking hate day in their fucking hate day okay who was what year was that 82 but i think it was 83 i was living but that's before i think it was isn't that before synchronicity 82 or is that right out it was it was the us synchronicity was that summer of 83 no it because i think what it is it's kind of like you know how cars are your head i think it was like summer fest 83 but they held it right it was i was living in bolder because i was thinking of going i was living in absolute and i thought me and my body were thinking of going to see missing persons so what was this what was the saturday okay let's go

look at the fucking saturday opened up with david admins any money the cars followed by santana the kinks had better time than tom petty in the heart holy shit keep reading okay that was fucking insane and then at the short sunday uh you have breakfast with the grateful dead jerry jeff walker hoit acting jimmy buffett jackson browns and fleetwood max that's for the decent older white people but what was missing by the way i don't know if you're familiar with jerry jeff walker no do you like storyteller music no he's the fucking best i don't want to hear i don't want to see the devil music no it was tremendous i mean this is just wikipedia could be wrong yeah because i don't miss any persons was there there was a couple bands there that was one

of the biggest fest and then guns and roses shut up at that no no that's 83 oh are you talking about yeah but you know i'm lying to you because when i saw the stones and philly they were in an arena they were doing arenas like they were doing like that was amazing that you know i i wish i had seen guns and roses i mean either i never saw them i wish i did i never by the time guns and roses came i was i had guns and roses that's what i was doing walking around with guns and fucking roses have you heard axl rose try to sing recently have you seen what he looks like he looks kind of like mickey rourke now no they all look the same yeah i'm telling they all look the same dude from no what's the dude from fucking the pigeon what's the pigeon what's that dude from fucking the gun

oh uh val kilmer yeah val kilmer and your boy and the singer from guns and roses are the same person val kilmer mickey rourke and guns and and axl rose all the same i gotta tell you some america and i hope you don't get insulted by this i've been involved with some bad movies but i watched The Expendables the other day and i gotta tell you which one the first one i don't know it doesn't it doesn't i mean because i think there's i think there's four of them i'm swillies with that light bulb head and then arnold walks and we can't have that and if you pay for the expendable and chuck norris it's really jon claude fan them no it was mickey rourke he's a tattoo guy he throws a knife and yeah yeah they have everybody in it it's like that oh that was god awful how many like that

poster has like 19 people on it but it was a terror was that the one with ronda rousey is that one you saw i didn't know go i watched eight minutes that's the first time in the hotel i knew not no no yeah it was it was on usa i wouldn't pay for it oh my god there's no way i get taken by those movies no more not one of those things in any good i mean look at the is it kind of come up on there yeah it's gonna come up it is that is ridiculousness by the way that's fucking crazy that's tremendous yeah it's tremendous i have to tell you like if you told me that these old motherfuckers we're going to look at all look doll flungering who is that tom hanks who is that antonio bandaris harrison ford wesley snipes oh my god no no no i can't that's that's you can't

go see that shit i wouldn't go see the fucking first one you're crazy i think that is the i don't know what i can't deal with that ladies and gentlemen i can't i can't listen these fucking movies i see them coming remember i'm a movie guy i went to i love movies as a child so i see a movie when you see that fat chick in the trailer that's the best scene in the fucking movie okay what's that what is that chick from molly and mike oh uh uh melissa macarthur when you see her in the trailer i feel bad for her they like just rung her out quick like at least will ferrell had like a decade she has like three years i don't think will ferrell had a decade will ferrell had a bunch of good he had a bunch of good but he had a bunch of bonds all the last one was terrible

bad bad but starting going all the way back to zoolander he in those and he had the bunch of movies where he had funny like oh yeah that's the best listen my movie is my night at the roxbury's my movies don't tell me i love him yeah yeah but that got dumb it got it got dumb and once he got that philips see how i don't like those guys all right you wait you didn't like uh step brothers i don't like that guy oh that was a great i thought that was a bro's really i can't look at that guy no no i can't look at that guy uh it's too goofy for you yeah that shit's too far you didn't like him in uh and um i like the basketball movie a little bit really most people hate that my bro which was what's the jerk diggler what's that movie uh the mark

walberg tremendous that's a great you didn't like him in that movie the heroin guy that died of heroin no the the guy from step brothers you didn't like he was he was great in that movie i just can't digest him i can't listen these people these people tell me about shows all that if i don't like one or two people in the show i can't watch it did you watch bloodline you got netflix oh i was fucking really good with bloodline you know kyle chandler is you ever watch friday night lights no all right this we should stop this conversation right now and you don't like the story telling you yeah yeah yeah wait so wait what shows what shows do you watch you watch anything we watched the sopranos the other night we watched the sopranos i turned them on to this

i i wait you hadn't seen the sopranos i never had a week and a half ago i came home the end and i go what am i gonna watch i said what was the last time i saw the fucking sopranos so i turned on episode two season two episode one season two and i watched the whole and i think the third episode one night i had tears coming out of my face i was laughing so hard let me tell you what i fucking love about that about that show is that look the the easy thing or the tendency for people right now would be like well somebody needs to die every show it needs to be action packed there would go two or three shows where nothing fucking happened it was just almost slice of life nothing happened and in that fifth show shit went down like they made it realistic

that shit doesn't go down every day some days we're just living our lives and and it made it when people died that much better like that was more of a shock it was a fucking great and you know what how do you like that dude if on paper you wrote him down you're like he's your hero you're like fuck you i can't like that he was so good ganglifini i gotta tell you something i miss him yeah i miss him i watch the drop i watch that too with tom hand because i that's my new motherfucker right there tom hardy max tom oh fucking tree how good was that down how good was down yeah yeah yeah damn it was fucking though he is so good denver he's so good i'm just waiting for like a thousand milligram cookie and then and i'm gonna go see that in the afternoon like an 11 o'clock

saturday morning that's how much i enjoyed that movie and she was tremendous yeah first off you got to i like that i like the road warrior i believe if you hit me with any scenario if you hit me with any scenario martians and that's the rocks and uh santa graers fault yeah the only thing i see in my life is a thousand years from now of 200 years from now that's it where there's nothing left that's it everything from here to california there's gangs in each state and they hunt you down like they did they came out with a gang oh so good it was like the warriors and the warriors was on last night so i watched mad max and i saw the warriors last night and i'm like damn keep running warriors all the way back so that's it they had to keep going back so everything they came you know

when they when they were going back they they encountered the guys in the roller skates with the bats yeah they encountered the baseball guys they invited the guys with the capes yeah same thing with that they encountered those guys with the motorcycle then they decided to bring come back against it with the chicks i just like the movie i just i fucking hate everything i go and let me get let me tell you something right on charlie sterling was amazing tremendous amazing there was something in the last 30 minutes it was a couple things i didn't like about the last 30 minutes what like it just seemed too far-fetched so i don't remember at this point i was pretty high i wanted my wife i got some popcorn i went to lemley right there on lancashim it's easy they

got a fucking chipotle right next to it you got the sausage plates across the street i went in there and i tell you man i usually walk out of there going bird man i walked out of like what did i just watch what the fuck is this a bird and a fucking guy the one by small the adams family in there not the adams family not the adams family the one with the the one that johnny dep did the remake of uh i know what you're talking about oh it was the the barber one yeah what's what's sweetie Todd no no no no about the monsters about oh i know what you're talking about about the monster yeah he was like a vampire right oh dark shadows yeah yeah that was the horrible the last that was so fucking bad listen at this point everything's gonna be bad i just go to get entertained now but mad max was

entertainment it was look that last scene that that long fight scene it just kept going and the guy i liked was Gavin on the guitar playing the guitar that's Gavin that's Gavin until the end somebody just turned around and just shot that motherfucker in the head that's tremendous i enjoyed myself a lot of people gonna you know i enjoyed myself my wife said she goes you got up one time to pee i'm so proud of you usually i go how many times you get up when i can't sit in a movie no more yeah that's it once the phone rings now i answer wait you you'll walk out and just hang out outside that's it i can't watch this no more how many movies what's the last movie you walked out you walk out of bird man i didn't because my wife is there i gotta tell you the end of bird man was

the dumbest thing i i just the dude flew away like i was not all these movies let you this movies when people said and this is a movie for Gentiles like the Oscars and all these people love that movie yeah which lets me know how dumb they really fucking are when they get together in one fucking circle once you put them together in one circle let you know how fucking stupid they really fucking are and you hate to speak this way but uh you know who could have voted for that movie to win as many awards as it did that nothing listen i didn't hate the movies most you did but i thought michael keaton was fantastic dude and you know what i like him but i like him too he never for me for me he never gets better than night shift i like to listen did you ever see

night shift tremendous uh him flintstones me belza and syphonsi i know you never seen night shift fucking tremendous wait oh you go you go first no go ahead you should i see the road warrior before i see mad max which one the original i don't know you tell me yeah watch the original mad max the first one is the second one's good oh the second one's tremendous that's my movie on the land what this one i was in the land for like a month i watch that movie every day in sarasota florida in the eighties we think a new movie came in every friday no my grandparent love yeah that's i was in sarasota on the land down there when sarasota mad max when sarasota sucked no watching a road war a war war yeah and next to it was the original first blood oh that's a good one

because first blood was a good movie first blood was a great movie yeah then i got then first blood two rambo 285 that's a great movie too i thought i am but that's a fucking great what were you what were you getting ready to ask no i already asked i said uh because i've never seen any of them so i want to well listen i would see the mad max in theater that won't affect you seeing the other ones but i will understand not at all yeah it doesn't just don't watch mad max live at thunder don't that was a fucking horror show but here's what was going through you know mad road war it came out in 1982 you know what i was into in 1982 yeah i wanted to kill somebody and i was stealing and i was doing blood at blow every night and a band by the name of judas priest had

put on a tremendous fucking out you loved you called heading out to the highway i got nothing to lose at all that was it i think they put out screaming for the vengeance first screaming for the vengeance see what that is see if i'm right there it's either heading out to the highway and so all this shit together these guys you know road warriors guys in leather jackets yeah that was judas priest the guy that they stick to fucking accident the the thing in his head what's that thing they were throwing around that little kid yeah that little fucking kid with a long hair that's what my daughter looks like yeah my daughter looks just like that fucking kid do you want to know the albums they had yeah when 81 what what came out screaming for the vengeance was 82 how many albums you think they put

out who judas priest yeah by this time i stopped no right now how many think they put oh they put i don't know i don't know terry bow i i stopped after screaming for the vengeance when was that 83 uh 82 how many hours i tapped that heading out to the highway was 81 hell bent or british steel hell bent for leather those are my albums wait did you 17 17 albums and i tapped out after i had the first one which isn't bad rocks rocker roller rocker roller with cheetah i had the second one again uh sad wings sad wings of destiny with that's a great one then i had uh unleashed in the east you skipped a bunch but would what did i skip sad wings of destiny sin after sin sin after sins a good one and then stained glass stained glass hind i

british steel never got into judas pretty hell bent for leather what was what was your favorite because i never got into them at all where's what happened wait that because that's a this would happen heavy heavy my mom died i was a little fucked up i was into black sand but i was into the car i was into a lot of shit and i had this dude in my fucking uh study class who dropped a fucking cd on me when they're a cassette of unleashed in the east and i was blown away i was like holy shit if there this good live and then they played the ritz no they played the other one in new york city which was like a movie theater i had to go tickets were 1250 why wouldn't i go on a saturday night so november 29 1979 look it up judas priest

toward 1979 they were at the palladium in new york city watch november 29 watch and i'll tell you why i remember that day wait smack the motherfucker when i got off that bus like he's judas priest 1979 i am the computer's fucking up your computer's fucking up yeah that's just to let you know how good my memory is because i got away with it so if the cops ever came looking for me they were gonna go november 28th i thought i was gonna beat them november 29th and i went to see him at the palladium and when that motherfucker came out with a a motorcycle he rode on stage in a motorcycle at that time he had a whip oh yeah and he would start whipping those guitar players he wouldn't whip them he'd whip at the front and he'd be playing

the guitar i lost my mind and i knew right there he was gay but his voice was so good you know it didn't matter to me it didn't really matter to me whether he was gay or not he was fucking badass you know uh and after that i was sold i was into them i was into a bunch of bands i want to see tom patty and the heartbreakers they were phenomenal they were great they were phenomenal with stevie nicks in 82 but he's still he can still play dog listen to me tom patty and the heartbreakers are one of the best american bands of all time yeah and if you got an argument with that i'll set you down and school you for fucking hours first of all do you know play who taught tom patty how to play the guitar who the guitar player from the eagles and fucking jackson real florida the good one

the good one not glenn fry and not that fucking joe walsh the one they threw out the junkie the one that lives by you and calabasas whatever he lives in calabasas it's in fact you want me to tell you who he's he's you don't want me to tell you who his daughter's you want me to tell you who he's i was just waiting for you i was waiting for that what's going on over there with i don't know you want me to tell you who his the guitar player yeah from the eagles daughter her fucking father-in-law is katlyn katlyn bruce jenna oh if you ever watch that show the son from his first wedding has a blonde daughter yeah that's the guitar player from the eagles daughter up in calabasas they threw his ass out but his number one listen the best music in this

country proven proven proven is that part of the country calabasas no no no uh jacksonville jacksonville florida has offered this country the best music there is to offer jacksonville florida two bands who let us get in the almond brothers can't top them motherfucker okay that's as dirty and as real and as fucking dirty as i'm gonna tell you something right now on the way over here i listen to whipping post oh please how good how good oh my god but it but it just but it it goes right i'm not hearing it and i'm going i'm feeling it through the beginning of it is it's amazing and that shit live from the film all those albums are there what fucking santana would follow him i had a teacher that would tell me the stories because

i want to see the almond brothers santana and somebody else for like three bucks now lee before you started this podcast did you have any idea who any of those bands were i've heard of them but no i don't know i would never know like what's going on okay so listen okay i didn't know if we were still talking about it yeah what's going on with the tour i want to test my memory i'll look at me out of all of the bands is he's that he's introduced you to which one do you like the most um no no no no no wait what's the one that rumors that that album fleet would mac really yeah he got me i i'm crazy i bought that album you did when we yeah you're playing it one night in the car on the way to like a show and i bought it i actually bought it from my mom

and what happened what songs did you like i really like female singers on me too i like your thing i can't remember the name right i'm way too high sarah sure sarah well if you don't love me now you will never love me again that's a fucking jam dog i was in the eighth grade when that album came out this kind you know who i'm embarrassed about you know who i really get embarrassed about who out of led zapp on you know listen i i get it but i tell you who i feel really bad for that they don't know the power of who elton john well john wasn't these are monsters but no but these guys the new youth of america looks at elton john flan goes joey i know please don't play out on john every yeah i don't play him people throw rocks at me when i play him on the spot even like seven

seventies elton john oh they hate that hate that this is what what songs have you played on there they don't like dog how can you not like crocodile rock listen listen there's they hate do they fucking hate it funeral for a friend uh you know goodbye yellow brick road the one that the only one they really will pay attention to yeah is the one from almost famous tiny dancer they love that but nobody knows about philadelphia freedom nobody knows about hello baby hello haven't seen your face for a while oh shit but wait wait have you stopped doing time for me or am i just the same old child are you fucking kidding me hello i said hello are you fucking kidding me are you fucking kidding me put that fuck now what what did you find out so what date are you looking November 29 1979

where were they what are you have their tour schedule up from 1979 you can find everything i think i have it oh can you believe this this is two hours three computers didn't have november up on this yes three computers i'll keep looking November 29 1973 you think november 20 look all you got to put in there is judas priest tour schedule 1979 go ahead put it up and it'll come right up i do this all the fucking time to when i check stories i don't want to be telling people the wrong fucking date because don't check it out on youtube these kids tell you but here's the deal but you remember dates better than anyone helping for leather tour yes okay you remember dates better than anyone i've ever met especially how much weed you smoke like you remember dates is fucking crazy

it says they were in europe november 29 1979 hold on are you fucking crazy yeah they were in europe no no no that's a wrong fucking tour okay i'll do it later you fucks now you got me you know because i even bought the you know how i remember the date because i bought the underground out i probably too high i bought the fucking underground out i listen i was never into judas priest at all i don't and you like his voice i don't like that i don't like that listen a lot of people don't that's like you know what like look i have a lot of my friends who like rush oh god i can't listen to all i can't listen to that motherfucker i want to see him i walk you walk you went to see the concert with rush and i can't do yet rush or yes

joey like to me both those bands i'm gonna tell you something i like uh roundabout and i like uh i want to see yes that was one of my first shows i don't like that dude yes would come to the garden for six nights in the 70s that's how many tickets they sold yes would show up the week that school started every year september third to the night but listen if when they play it's okay you like roundabout what are you doing for the other yeah no i don't know you're not i mean they don't have an hour and a half for worth of good music long distance run around long time waiting but that that dude's voice too i can't do it not it's too close to rush for me i tell you who i hated breakfast in america that album has sold billions of dollars i'm a cheap trick no breakfast in america

dana dana uh dana dana dana dana hey please put on uh out in john which i say hello hello uh put on harmony for jazz ball i want you to hear his voice you know what i love i love how you found the song you would need to find the with the word listen to this motherfucker dude i got this oh this is this is beauty this is fucking beauty here i don't know if this is live or not is this you're gonna be your first time hearing the song way uh probably unless he's put it in the car on the way somewhere listen i know you'll never see this movie i'm going to see ten i'm going to listen baby hello oh yeah haven't seen your face for a while have you quit doing time for me oh you still say hello

what what how does that happen i was trying to switch camera i mean look he was right in the middle of his groove his shoulders were going up and down his shoulders were bobbing he was in it and then it's like you pulled that needle they don't like it their people don't like they don't dig it what's the best song he did your song i put your song on it they want to song me on facebook they want to throw me on facebook no really they don't like him they don't like it's too too fucking real for them i will tell you something right now though if if if that came out right now it would not be considered rock and roll hominy if that came out right now that would be like an easy listening yeah that's what katlyn would play at her wedding

katlyn jenna i'm just i would tell you right now if if if uh like like but you were right she did come out and show it she showed her pussy not her pussy but herself i don't give a fuck i want to see her pussy i want to see what i want to know what the old dick went and i want to see the i don't think he she's got an operation she didn't got the aberration yet she's a fucking pussy fucking why are we wasting our fucking oxygen that fucking mo mo i don't know you somewhere you brought her up like three times somewhere christ jenna is with kanya west and the other country daughter going i didn't know he was gonna go for it oh my god they're like i can't believe you brought it up i didn't know he was gonna go for it you know what i'm

saying who would have thought i know christ jenna did it christ jenna talked him into it christ jenna is the devil's daughter i think she's a look i i don't think she's a good person christ jenna but i think the dude's been thinking the guy the woman's been thinking about it for years yeah when he went to the olympics and he saw all those dicks he's like you know what i gotta switch governments so i could i could be an olympic dick sucker whatever the fuck he switched governments for i don't fucking know man who switched governments what are you talking about who's jenna switched governments he gave his dick up you never give your dick up governments you can't be switching governments like that i don't give a fuck what you're feeling inside buy a fucking harp you know what i'm saying

and float around like a cherub but you're gonna switch governments and now this is the term switch go dog let me tell you something let me fucking people line up to get their dicks cut off now right now as we speak because of this movement now everybody wants to be a transgender now let me just say something if somebody doesn't want to have a dick who cares but then they should give that dick to someone who needs it i can't wait till jakey calls you up in two years and it says i went to eat some chicks asshole she had a dick that that's what it's gonna affect this generation growing up they're gonna be taking people home with a big black fucking dick in between their fucking you know what i'll have to i'll have if i was single right now and i was 25 and i was crazy

like i was when i was 25 that's what i do i get tits and get a wig and get a big fucking dick put on me right between my legs and just go to bars and pick up dumb fucks and make them suck my dick all fucked up what with big that's what if he was your age that's what he'd be doing right now you guys don't know how to have fun he basically just called you a pussy you mother fuckers want to stay home and watch computers and should i get a big black dick state listen you obviously lee you don't know what fun is until you get a big black dick stapled on your body with tits it makes somebody suck your dick and squeeze your tits at the same time and they're all confused felipe took that chick home in houston that had a dick she had a click no he didn't

yeah tricky nicky that's her name was the name was nicky but he called her tricky i'll call felipe right now wait she was an aphrodisiac what's those oh hermaphrodite hermaphrodite she was one of those things she had one of both i've won a boat and he's had in the jacuzzi you never heard that he burnt the curtains at the intercontinental what you never heard that no i got a call from peep monday joy we got to talk your friend felipe he was ordering spoons from room service oh that's never a good sign nobody ordered spoons just spoons just spoons yeah excuse me room service can you bring up three spoons i feel like the 10th spoon they're like listen what's going on up there yeah i did i looked it up nobody ordered more he broke richard prize

record 1971 for spoons i mean room service listen if you order a spoon by itself you at least got to try to be tricky and be like could i get another bowl of ice cream can i get ice cream yeah yeah you have any bacon soda down there i got a weird odor in my ass who ordered bacon soda from room service fucking tremendous got it so so he almost burnt down the curtains he did something well he found out she had a dick too i would burn down the fucking curtains too i'm getting my groove on the intercontinental in houston and the jacuzzi in my room i told you about that this girl that i went out with and she was beautiful and i went to i sucked her left head and i went to her right and i thought i had one of my hairs in my mouth in my mouth so i went

to pull it back and as it came out of my mouth i saw it was still attached to her i love that she had one long hair on her nipple and i was i i tried to pull it because i thought it was loose like and she goes oh and i was like oh i go oh do you want me to get rid of that she was like no no i like it and i go what and she doesn't like it it gives me character and i was like yeah yeah just one like one it was like curly and coarse and it really threw me because we'd be together right and i'd still i'd have that left hit in my mouth and she tried to edge me over to the right one but i knew that's where gargamel lives you know what i'm saying yeah so i was like i can't go over to that right one i was not i couldn't have it i was not good

for me that you you would probably like that you would bite that motherfucker off i bite that and then you'd show her your big black dick and you're like look at my tits i that's a weird combination joey what's that brother the tits the wig and the big black dick can you imagine what's wrong with your dick nothing i'm just saying that's what you do nobody wants a white dick what's better than being white and having a big black dick and and then looking at you like where'd you get that from you know what i'm saying like where'd you get that from it's a black dick when is the last time because there was a string at the comedy store there was a string of maybe six months where you when you had your nuts out on stage all the last time

i took my nuts out was 10 years ago yeah during that time in the store 10 years ago i put my nuts on people at shows i would have a pair of jeans with holes yeah just to throw people and and he would bring the nuts out through the hole and just leave them out in the store and sit there and gradually wait for people to see it and watch people walk by and look at it you know your nuts are your pants fucking hysterical the best part is you would be standing next to people with your nuts out and they had they had no idea someone would just talk to you like a regular i tried to find the cover for our documentary and it's nowhere like i can't find it on google his balls they took it off as i couldn't find it i tried to search everything wait well how could

they take it off no because it has his nuts on it but there aren't pictures of nuts on google i don't know payloads probably has it on them i have to check there i don't know if we uploaded the balls one i thought we'd i think like google google naked nuts and you're gonna get a ton of naked nuts i'm okay so i don't know why not that i've googled that before by the way yes you you know uh the the main reason it's funny because the main reason i wanted you to come on the show because i'm going to denver and all this shit but it was funny i was thinking about the idea that i'm like 95 what the fuck because that's how i always think i always go to myself all right 2015 2005 what was i doing all right along the shore came out in may i was living on

trade i was doing spots i was snorting a ton of fucking coke then you go okay 95 what was i doing you're like holy fuck i was just leaving boulder you found out in may that i got banned i went to michigan i met carol i went home and maybe two weeks later i was gone yeah once she sucked my dick i was gone that's it i was done it was good to go and i went to seattle and i went for the club on saturday and i looked around yeah daytime and it was during the the hit the festival what was the festival they had the the hit i don't think it was the festival october fest no no remember they had a festival every year of lennie bruce oh yeah heirs of lennie bruce yeah it wasn't the it was like no no that's a whole different festival that's a whole different deal

herd saddle was nice yeah listen yeah the heirs of lennie bruce a different festival than the heirs of lennie bruce and i remember looking at the poster and going wow the heirs of lennie bruce and and then what was like james inman and the whole gas calling on monday and i'm saying there's an open mic going down to the open mic and then you showed up with a hat and you had a leaf because you were working at lobo loco you can do the whole open mic you have to run back and you gave me a number that must have called you to you decided 178 times i don't have the money to change my number right now i'm gonna call this guy back and here we are 20 years later now listen have 20 fucking years guys 20 years doing comedy i hired him also to work at this club i was working i thought i

fucking fetish night so fetish night there these there were these two older guys dressed in like with umbrella yeah on the head umbrellas they had those little parasols that's what they're called they had those little parasols right and they were and they were starting to get into a fight and i go joe you got to get him out of here sorry about that i go joe you got to get him out of here and he's like okay and he walks over he goes guys i gotta have to ask you to leave and you grab one of them by the arm and the other one starts hitting you with the parasol and you all you could do was it wasn't hurting you you were laughing hysterically you were like is this getting hot you were like if you were like is this is how it goes down yeah i'm gonna be fine here you drag those two old dudes

out in dresses both of them smacking you with their parasols you laughing hysterically and i just remember you saying you two have a good night you two have a good night and that was it you fucking kicked him out and you were like that you were like that was the funniest fucking thing i was like i was gonna hit with like a bottle or a stick or something oh and two of them were going at it you let go of me but that place look lobo loco that was a great hole for us do you know what i mean no no it was the office of fed us yeah it was great you know i mean moley chicken oh yeah chocolate moley chicken that kid made was fucking delicious i i remember i learned a good lesson in in that kitchen because i was helping him one day and um you know i helped in the kitchen

with doing nachos and i i learned that after you touch jalapenos before you take a leak always wash your hands you always wash your hands my dick was on fire for like 30 minutes on fire i couldn't because i couldn't stick my dick in the sink at work do you know what i mean so as soon as i walked out of there i was walking around that bar my dick was on fire it it was terrible have you ever done oh no i've been gay it's the same difference oh my god you rub been gay and you need and you bang went out and next you know you're like this dream is real and what it is you know what i'm saying this fantasy is going somewhere mind over matter my dick is on fire when i met you had the nintendo thing yep you were a feature act yeah you had a couple things

going on we all did donna richard's work yeah if you knew now would you knew them would you had stuck it out the next 20 years i mean we just went through 20 years josh you know uh uh you know some of those years were were slow some of those years were but we're still here that's fucking amazing mm-hmm like carol has sucked 80 cocks since we last sat and we're still here yeah you understand me the like you know mark madison's gone gavin's out of the game chain admin lives in new york being fucking roger paul's computer guy listen it's it's something if you guy with the handcuff that killed himself with the black jacket that would come with the handcuff yeah think of the people on this journey the the fucking when we did the fucking room the

black room on gower we're the only one who me you and the kid with the guitar yeah who was the black kid cori cori no i'm not hulk i'm cori miller miller cori miller me you and pierre and uh who else there was somebody god at that fucking bow bowers bow the browners no i know it was the gower you talking about gower gulch no we did the fucking bar off a summer where i used to live vouchers bochers yeah bochers yes bochers and it had a back room like a back you had to go all the way to the fucking back we did some fucking really listen well the one the rooms i remember you taking me to are the were the ones in east l.a with willy barson uh and um broody rudy we did the brow brave bull and i was always the only white person there and then but but that

by the way those rooms made me better like 100 times you know on sunday night you know that we wouldn't get back to three in the fucking morning and then it was blow and fucking pills yeah from chino you know who else you know who booked that with me dany kelly dany fucking kelly yeah you know you think of all you know you think of this journey like there's nights you get home and you it's one in the morning and the fucking you're playing with the cats and you're like i'm not even gonna turn the tv on i gotta fucking think about yeah what just happened what just fucking happened i was at the comedy store and i went in the comments and mark mark you know and you're sitting there going i still remember being in a fucking in an office hoping that one day i could

co-headline i come to seattle fucking underground like trying to figure out how you can talk somebody into letting you mc for the weekend for the weekend mc for the weekend so you could get 10 minutes of stage time listen dude i think about those first lineups when we went down the comedy store before we were regulars right and those lineups you look at those cards nobody none of them are there there's nobody left from those lineups you know what i mean and uh so it it's amazing to think all of the people that we've that we've encountered but the only people left and brody brody and brody may you bro high i don't know if he doesn't know anymore no tana no tana tana was here for a while did the show with brody yeah but i well listen but but i can say the same

thing for you man because here's the thing there was a time probably around 2005 maybe 2004 i was like this cat's gonna be dead yeah in a year oh i know gonna be dead in a year and and you knowledge did you not die but you we were talking about this the other day on the phone like there aren't too many people guys at your age whose careers are taking off at such a fucking rate that's not you brought up rodney danger field that's it man run run white run white run white but here's here's here's the thing that is the most admirable is that i don't know that i've ever seen anybody work as hard not only to get to where they are but to really find look this podcast is your is what you were made to do but you've you tried and did everything dude and you landed

here and you landed here and here's another thing that that fucking amazes me about you you live about as freely as anybody i know and what i mean by that is you're not beholden to anybody you do and create what you want to create without fear of what other people think that's living but that's living free dude one of the reasons that people love to listen to you is because they're like he they want to live like you do they want to be free you're completely free in what you say and how you act and and what you want to create that's living with total freedom and most of us there's a part of our brains who say oh i shouldn't say that or i shouldn't act this way do you know what i'm saying you don't have any of that shit no i don't have time you don't have any of that shit i don't have

time yeah especially now now i'm like but that's what i'm saying 20 years ago i would have thought about like if you pulled me aside and go joe you can't say word faggot i would have said really now i have no time for i'm not going to change at this age i think that uh i've always had that freedom like i've always created that freedom to myself that's what i had over a lot of people because i was really free i had no parents i had nobody to answer to i had no adult supervision listen i could tell you guys that i when i was 12 i had no adult supervision yeah she just trusted me to do what i had to do just stop and get the milk with the 20 i gave you yet did you get the stakes did you pick up the lobs and say yeah she would leave me money go pay the electric bill i did all

that shit on my own there was no like wet page or fucking google yeah it was on 50 fucking 5th street all right there was no uber you know what i'm saying you live on 39th it's on 55th do the math you got a 16 fucking block wall both ways plus the hell so you know we were talking about all right something like dave chappelle you you become a stand-up not to have a job right okay and also you have a job you have a job and you have a job on tv and people had all these allegations against dave chappelle you know he was doing crack and he was doing this and he was doing that but the first thing he did was one day he goes i'm not taking notes from some guy that went to syracuse yeah i'm just not doing it i'm not taking notes from county central and how to do

my show yeah i don't give a fuck you know what cancel me i'm walking away from this you cannot tell me what to do you guys went to college to do what i'm doing but here's the thing man it takes such balls to say that for most people because the risk of losing your job oh my god oh my god but you what as you go especially in this fucking town as you get older you learn there is no reward without the risk there is no reward without the risk there just isn't and you may lose something but what you're if you win that risk it's going to be a fucking great reward but you have to nothing great ever happens by playing it safe right so i mean and then that's and that's a deal especially here man especially look that's why i say what you're doing you don't and when you the fact that

you don't give a fuck look are there people on stage who aren't as dirty as you that people consider dirty comics do you know why because they're not honest that it's just dirty to be dirty i've never people don't get offended even people who don't know who you are when they there's such an honesty and truth to that person on stage that you're not offended by it does that make sense it make so you're not offended by it at all and so that's what i'm saying man as people listen to you and fucking watch you because it's complete truth no matter what you and passion dude i've never seen anyone get so passionate about judas priest i thought you were gonna fucking have a heart attack you have to yeah you have to yeah this is what you believe and this is what you like

this is what you have to fucking do and you have to stand your ground you know i saw a lot of i never wanted to be a part of the pack that was my main thing as a kid okay we're talking about my friend the villa let me tell you the background to my friend i have a great dear friend steve avila but steve avila was a younger guy but he had two older brothers and those two older brothers and all their sixteen friends listened to the kinks now personally i think the kinks have five good songs everything after that i want to stick a fucking gun in my mind i agree with that they listen to bands like the good rats from jersey or whatever they were terrible right but the same thing that listened to black satin it's a lot of music i dug he turned me out to pink

florida villa he really turned me out to wish you were here the album so he had good albums and he had fucking bad albums i thought growing up a lot of the shit will listen to was because his friend listened to and in my heart i think that 50 percent of what people do especially now in this society it's even higher it's up we're up 70 percent that they want to be and act and look like everybody else okay but you know why right why well because it's safer if you stick out then you're leaving yourself open in some people's eyes for ridicule if you stick out if you're different on the other hand the people who are different are creatively especially are the best at their fucking jobs do you know what i mean so you're not noticed in that 70 percent that's why they do it because

they're scared to be noticed you know just don't look dude listen it drives me crazy you don't you don't have to tell me it drives me crazy but but you figured that out a long time ago i figured it out when i was a fucking great i would look at people and go this guy's a follow this guy likes this band because of this guy yeah this guy likes this because of this but also dude it also drives me crazy it drives me crazy it's it sometimes it's easy to be a a leader some places and a follower in other parts of your i don't want you to be a leader i want a person to have his own head that's what i never understood how i would be at these concerts like there was this dude he looked like the fucking drummer from pat benetton we used to call him myron grumbucker

right to his fucking face remember when we were growing up pat benetton was huge and they had this ratty looking guy on the drums who looked like a fucking rat people say he's a great drummer i always thought he looked like but there was a german kid in my town auto sour yeah and he went to every concert he was auto was the first guy you saw the concert coming out with his eyes stoned you know now listen he did all that shit to be cool he was a little ratty looking motherfucking but there's times eight of us would go now me and my friends were fucking music technicians the guys i hung out with like i hung out with these killers but then i get together with these other guys that were big guys made coke and they ran but my whole life with them

they had real the reels in their house like they were into music right and they'd be looking at me after every song like this sucks bro listen to the guitar he fucked up this like they were professionals yeah so i picked that up i'm like that's right this sucks and we'd walk out of there and we'd say this sucks but guess who we bump into i don't we go let's ask out of how the concert was we make believe like we'd see him at the bus station they go where you guys coming from were you at the Led Zeppelin show no no no we were over there copping some blow how was it oh man it was the work best show we ever went to him and his little buddies and me and my guerrilla friends were looking at him and start just calling them out like the fucking guitar

was off and fucking this the bass was off in this you didn't see the light fuck up and he would go okay yeah they sucked and right there i would look at him and go that's society look at what we have in our society now when you and i were growing up in Boston even lisa at your father worked well josh my father when i was growing up my father didn't have a job most right so your mom had a job yeah so your mom's a nice lady i doubt she stopped at the fucking diner to get a coffee black with a little sugar in it no when we were growing up everybody stopped at the diner and they had places where the coffee was diesel fuel yeah and they had places where it was folges for Gentiles it was like iced tea nothing happens you could drink eight cups nothing happens i thought that fucking Cuban

coffee when i drink coffee i want to see fucking Pluto like i want to feel jittery that's that's like fucking Cuban coffee i just want to fuck i want it to be black and thick but all that shit costs when your mom used to stop you and then your mom worked at the school system yeah she'd stop and she'd get a black coffee it's 50 cents yeah and they give you three sugars and a little cream and everybody's happy all of a sudden now go off these four thousand fifty cents a cup six dollars eight dollars and the whole thing is like you ever see people take pictures who doesn't have a beer bottle in their hand nothing bothers me more that's why i don't drink why because with people with a beer bottle let's take a picture guys like Gavin they always come up to you with their anthem their flag

that shit drives me fucking nuts so now what is it it's the starbucks god forbid somebody shows up in your office at nine and they don't have starbucks the first motherfucker that shows up was 7-11 which is the best coffee unless you got the ice is 7-11 it's like now don't let you do your own thing like the one i go to they don't let you do your own thing you still clip in lighters i clipped one about a month ago and the one i'm just your old times like just he got just his kid keep fresh if he's gonna listen if he's gonna have the balls to take that pizza out i'm gonna rob a lighter when i'm here i'm right here yeah you're gonna get the pizza now i don't give a fuck if it burns i don't want no fucking Iranian pizza come over here right now if not

they put the lighters right yeah i always hit the thing for the for the e-cigarette yeah let me get two of them right here on this hand movement think think boom let me tell you something lea at the 7-11 on sunset and kerson kerson oh my god joe joe used to wave his hand over the left hand over here and the cashier would look over there and the right hand would be like doing shit that lighters he's like you want some MMMs lighters i mean those whatever like small bibles he took whatever the fuck was it was actually it was really a slant a slight a hand trick you understand what i just did i tap on the glass and then the way down i take the lighter i put it in my hand it's not stolen yet when he comes to me and asks me how much as i go in and reach for my wallet

i drop the lighter and i pop out the wallet come on guys you can't this is the best i mean i used to do that shit all the time when i used to live with danny kelly and josh wolf lived on vista you live with danny yeah in that apartment building when his girlfriend left him and he got stuck with the $2,000 bill and i lived in a corner with a towel yeah i slept on top of my clothes i just put my clothes down and i would sleep on top of my fucking clothes unbelievable there was no curtains in the window no i woke up when it woke up and i would pop out i would take a shower and he used to walk he used to walk down sunset with those white nineties with the red stripes and walk with his cup of coffee in his thermos me danny kelly no i'm this fucking thermos i'm talking about me

i would walk from danny kelly's and i would go to the iranians gas station yeah you to stole more from oh my god and he'd always be outside pumping gas or fixing the car i'd have a doll i'd go in and buy a piece of gum but i'd stick my hand behind the counter and take a pack of cigarettes out and put it in my who steals cigarettes from behind the counter that was my fucking that's how i got cigarettes in the morning i would steal his fucking cigarettes did you memorize where the ones you wanted were yeah right there i would take like reds too fucking i got and i would then i would walk to josh wolf's house as he was i knew his schedule so i'd catch him when he was coming back bro what did you cook for breakfast i got some leftover beans and i have a turkey burger you went from

smoking zero cigarette today to a pack a day in a fucking day you were like i don't smoke and then you smoke the pack i like how are you smoking today are you are you fucking i started smoking marlboro ultralights at the seattle underground new year's eve with dugs down i said give me one of those i can't take it no more do you remember how smoky that fucking room used to get the thing i remember the most about the underground was before you were gonna go up you stood by a pole and if the guy was funny in front of you looked at the table behind you and if they were eating nachos there was always a water bug on the nachos and you can see his antennas moving and the people would be looking at the comic and they wouldn't see the water bug on their fucking nachos i think people

you're talking it was a cockroach cockroach yeah why is there cockroaches on there because it's dirty and it was a dirtiest fucking basement it was a dirty basement it was there for two thousand years it and they didn't clean Moses did come they didn't clean shit they were too busy snorting coke yeah that place was a constant are you fucking kidding really the waitress was doing heroin and was nodding an open mic she was not the chink the little chinese girl that was banging banging chinese little chinese girl that worked monday she had long brown hair and she had i remember sharing what Sharon was his girlfriend the the white thing that had long legs from Boston she looked olive oil with a little bit of meat on her but then you had a chinese girl that had a little tan

and one monday night this bitch was nodding and the rumor was that half that staff was starting to do a little heroin that white heroin it was all over the fucking place but she was nodding and i remember they had a door guy that worked that was like a hippie dude with little glasses yeah that he used to work and he told me that they asked her to get up oh yeah because she was nodding she was nodding on the heroin up there but they were all fucked up look swan he was fucked up but the in the baseball players always came in and they went down into the basement and and who knows what the fuck went on down there but the way wait i don't want to tell his name because i don't want to rat him out but somebody who was playing on the Yankees at the time just sat

down i saw him take three ecstasies just pop pop pop he was like i go are you did you and he goes i'm not playing tomorrow i was like oh fuck all right he i mean that whole that whole thing was a dungeon of sin dude did that was the underground is where someone threw up on my fucking foot on stage on the in the front row because they were so close they were right fucking on you threw up on my foot and i had to take my shoes off i looked like fucking tom soyer it was gross and you could never get any smell out of that fucking bait because it was the basement that basement smelled so bad slowly vomit yeah all the time and you and but it was such a great comedy room yeah it was the best that had ages of people laughing in there and the beauty like just thinking about it just

talking about what's the what's the what's the highest you ever get in that contest sixth aisha taylor beat me she did yep aisha taylor floyd j phillips floyd j phillips but the thing about thinking about that was how i always thought i was gonna die the next day like in those days when i was doing comedy it always felt like i was buying an extra day like it always felt like i was just surviving which i really was but there was a feeling of desperation mixed with something else and whatever would hit you you just overcome it by telling yourself you're gonna go on stage just thinking about that feeling it was not anxiety or nothing it was just this feeling of getting ahead like moving up the ladder but you can't you don't know like i never thought i would

move up the ladder but you know what i do miss from those days i miss the feet like in the morning the night i was going to go on stage i couldn't fucking wait in the morning when i woke up i was so fucking excited that i to get on stage and then after getting on stage just sitting around shooting a show with you guys and writing that whole you know in the basically the infancy of our comedy but the did that excitement to get on stage i miss a little bit i do i miss it because it was so so much fun it was so much fucking fun because you were learning every time you went on stage you were learning something about oh i fucking do this kind of well oh i don't do this well at all do you know what i mean everything was a discovery i do i miss that fucking feeling a

little bit from that time i miss the uh the desperation feeling the the feeling of wanting more in a hurry but i knew like i got to seattle in june of 95 but what really saved me was june of 96 i saw doug stannell and that destroyed my insights like i had been doing everything wrong till i saw doug stannell like right there i knew exactly that night when i walked out of what i wanted to do with my life like i was like that's the guy to beat oh he was killing that's as good as you could get right now in that time period and that really helped me watching that freedom he had on stage he there was no complete freedom there was no convention no there was no fakeness to it there was no you know you know when you see what's his name yeah it's a great it's a great impersonation

no what's that who's what's his name a rant uh the guy that was big in the 90s that his brother books san antonio and all that denis miller denis miller you know denis miller ran to great but he spent nine hours writing looking at the psorias to try to throw you off when in those days when doug stannell did it was from the gut and he did all these things on stage all these off things that i was like i didn't know that you could do that i didn't know once i saw that freedom on stage oh yeah everything else was bullshit and then i went to the economy store and i saw like even Joe rogan at that time was a little free there was somebody else who was very free on stage as i said that's the guy who holdsman no holsman was like me we really we were free but we weren't

going anywhere rogan already had to figure it out stanhope had it figured out it took me a couple years to figure it out those guys had already figured it out that was a time when i remember watching you where you would either go into a room and destroy it or bomb or crickets yeah that's it there was 50-50 there was no in between i had no control i had nothing no no i went up there i could never figure i by the way i could never figure out why i could never figure out why because i would watch you i'm like he's doing the same thing but either they bought it in a hundred percent back then or or fucking nothing yeah nothing oh i used to die fucking deaths of death i still remember every death in that original which hurts even worse than anything this is what you work for

can't die in the fucking original room that's like dying in the roman coliseum you're dead there's no fucking you know there's no farm team yeah they're gladiated they had a little farm team but that's it there's no everything else is a farm team that comes to die in there and there's people following you they're sitting back there waiting for you to get off watching you die watching you die it's getting slower and deader and finally somebody you can't wait for that fucking light to blink on your left i'll never forget one night i said this is killing me and joe rogan yell you're killing me and i'm like you motherfucker like i got off stage and like that night i waited for my what the fuck was that he's like joey you're a funny guy you can't do that you cannot do that

you went up there and you had no plan it's fucking 11 30 it's 11 30 in the original you had no plan yeah and that's when i would go up there and see what the guy in front of me would do but there's some nights that don't work either yeah i could run like that you know some nights i go to the comedy store now and i'm like oh i'm gonna try this joke but then somebody in front of me leaves the door open somewhere and bam once i get in that door you ain't getting me out of it i'm like no but i've also always said 15 or 20 minutes of you at the top of your game no it's like world i don't that 45 minutes i don't like doing it i become you know i told people i've told people on the podcast i did comedy for 24 i'm doing comedy for 24 years i became a headliner at the

21 year mark there's a difference between doing comedy and being a headliner yeah when you watch ralph and may he's a headliner when you watch gregg garaldo he's a fucking headliner there's a lot of guys that headline but they're not headliners they're great comics but they're not headliners i just learned how to headline dude it it's a fucking different world yeah yeah it's a different world and you have to have a plan a navigation you have to have three different automobiles to call and then you gotta you gotta write in the daytime so your mind's loose i do you i always try to write at least five minutes of material about the city i'm in just to or say something about it or just to kind of yeah so people know yeah yeah yeah people know i'm here i'm paying attention you know

i mean not always funny not always great but i just i think it just lets them know that you're not only that you're writing today which is always good it's fresh and that you're present you know what i mean you paid it you came to our city you paid attention and now that's a lot of times a joke suck a dick boy you ever go to a city and the guy in front of you is destroying and he's just doing city references yeah and you have no idea yeah no fucking idea i'll never forget one time i went to boston i just come back from the store because comedy you lose before you go up there that's why i never look at the feature act in front of me i sit in the green one i don't give a fuck who he is i don't want to see nothing that he does he's got nothing to do with me he's got a job to do i got a

job to do but if i go out there and start judging people i lose the war look at that old lady in the front row god damn it i catch myself doing that god damn it look at those three fucking checks they're not gonna like my stuff that's it you just lost i catch myself doing that you just lost so now as a professional i don't even go i don't want to see you i don't give a fuck yeah when i see you for the first time i see you for the first time that's why i don't want to get to the club early i don't want to see those people i hate waiting i hate waiting you know what i do you know what i do also sometimes like look i if we went to the store i also catch myself and you're there with like somebody i respect i catch myself thinking about my comedy more than i do when

you know to me yes i'm like oh he gets in my head i'm like well fuck i hope joe thinks this is funny or whoever's down there and i get in my own fucking head no no no no no there comes a day where you go i'm gonna go up there and do and when you do that it's you it's your trade yeah nobody else is doing that so it's kind of comedy is a great fucking thing to look back and analyze and see the lessons you've learned like just you know the the tricks like when you watch an old UFC Friday he beats like a young guy and people like what well he kept them against the cage he tricked them he tricked them he fell for it there's definitely some comedy there's tricks i got tricks up my stay i control my voice my voice is everything my voice tell you know when i first

started comedy matt wood used to say rodney danger field tells you went to laugh yeah but he touches his tie they also he tells you when to laugh yeah don rick goes i heard an interview with him once where he was like when he was at his best he would get the audience into a rhythm and sometimes they started to laugh before the punchline because he had gotten them into the rhythm of when to laugh he literally trained them when to laugh during a show if you watch any top profession at any level and he's one of the top three in his division they all have a rhythm in that game whether it's a rod whether it's you say aron yeah him especially him especially i know this and i know i'm just talking about baseball players i'm not talking about you know i don't know who's on the fucking red

socks no more no one you know i don't fucking know i don't fucking know i may be poppy store i know that the fucking Pedro i've been seeing him he's like an announcer or something yeah and he wrote a book too who the fuck i can't i'm spanish i don't know what he's saying like i'm fucking spanish give me a page on martinez talk hell yeah i have no fuck like that what the fuck is he saying like latke yeah i don't know what the fuck he's saying you know i'm just saying alexa dreams him especially i'm glad we didn't get if you get like a rod if you get what's the guy that retired which one jeter jeter and he had a rhythm yeah uh pete rose oh you like pete rose okay you don't i do he's gonna get reinstated i guess he is yes he is he had a rhythm julius herby i don't like rebirth white dude

had a tremendous rhythm but like ray allen and stuff ray allen you know all even kevin mckell and his fucking oh he was the best with his 37 moves before he shot it you know he had 87 pump fakes you know when you watch good jujitsu it's a rhythm when you watch like eddie bravo it's on turn it off yeah and you see him like picking his toenail and taking the dirt out of his ear that's on again yeah that's off for a minute that's on there he grabbed it and everybody chills out you could do it you could see eddie on the bottom like working around the clock he had 200 pound guys on top don't matter it's crazy he's in a rhythm he's breathing he's breathing he's just and that's the rhythm and that's what a comic you're right and he'll start laughing him

before you get there you know because you're anticipating where the punchline is very interesting very interesting but it's an it's more it's it's definitely a fucking art and i will tell you something right now and i have to go something big as beth keeps texting me but i'll tell you something right now you i experiment every time i'm on stage with pa pa pauses you know what i mean like i like that too i like that too i did that for a while it got me bombing i would bomb all the fucking but i like to experiment with the pause every now and then and just kind of sit in it before the punch line um sometimes i i even the jokes that i've done for a while i kind of switch up whether i where i put it in my set or how i get to the joke just to keep it fresh for me you know what i mean

yeah yeah yeah sometimes you have to yeah and honestly because then it doesn't make it sound like a story you've told a million times yeah i gotta i gotta add some patois to it let me give some shout outs yeah close up yeah we gotta tell them what's happened you bad motherfuckers i'll be in denver tomorrow friday and saturday and uh salt lake city on the 18th and 19th akhil amed who loves you cocksucker jeffrey lewis thomas godovi senior harry chase lindsay rose matthew mcknight and ted watel white i love you cocksuckers uh the the most important thing is i know you're 20 years you know and uh you've had a lot of success in that life but now you got the thing you came here for yeah my own talk show you got yourself a little talk show just run me through and get you out of

here well you know it's something i've always wanted to have my own talk show right and this is gonna be it's gonna be on cmt which is perfect for me um because they're trying to branch out and make it more of a middle of america uh programming and it's kind of the structure i guess is kind of like jelsie was where there's gonna be two panels we're not gonna do a lot i'm never gonna mention the kardashians or beaver or the housewives because i don't give a fuck but i will talk about things like um okay you know we i just saw an article where uh the the boy scouts have outlawed water guns they don't have boy scouts so my thing is like when has when did we get so fucking soft right so it'll be more like social issues but with funny people so if you made mar a little

dumbed down a little bit all the things that we wanted to look look look you know my buddy admitted to his wife of 10 years that's six years in he got a handjob from a masseuse a week later she's divorcing him three kids 10 years in i just want to talk about shit that i have an opinion about you know these instagram models who the fuck james harden and then tweeted out a picture of him sleeping next door what the fuck things that i want to talk about right so that'll be and then then the that third act i won't do any interviews because i don't i don't really care that much about that i'm a really curious dude so it's gonna be like a grown-up show and tell man i'm gonna have people come on the show and teach me how to do shit that i i don't know how to do that's what it'll be

and i'll have some of you guys join me you guys will be up in the panel and stuff but i'll you guys join me too i'm just gonna for me i'm gonna do what i think is funny period and you know you know my sense of humor it's a little goofy sometimes it's i would call it intelligently stupid right sketches i will do some feel pieces i love to do a sketch are we going to your house and you're looking at your phone bill just shaking your head you remember that and all of a sudden your brother comes out of the room with a buck of the kentucky fried chicken great kool-aid you know everything black and also he puts it on the table and you go talk who's been calling captain crancho remember that i don't know nobody in crancho

he's a not well-known chicken you know my brother taught in south central south central he had a black girlfriend yeah and and he was hauled into the black this is when we were doing like we had to split our phone bills and i was down to the fucking penny crancho and remember i go calling crancho yeah and i was like hey you got to pay this you go for calling crancho and he goes i didn't call crancho i go what he was i don't know anybody in crancho i was like you teaching crancho you that's where you teach remember he was adamant dude i did not make those phone calls who did who the fuck nobody else knows i know black people at the comedy store that's all i know dude you're coming on the show yep the 13th right no the sunday yeah sunday the

uh who the fuck 9 10 11 12 13 14 sunday the 14th at what time 11 o'clock 11 o'clock well do it a bunch of you guys that like tripple is going to come on love tripple ryan sickler i'll like you know all guys that i think are fucking funny because why not it's like you said dude i got i got however long i have to prove myself might as well do what makes what i think yeah yeah go from there how you doing lisa you all right buddy i'm good you're looking good feeling good billy when you got your little whose shirt is that tell josh will is this the that's his sugar night shirt it was like sugar night that's a sugar night where when tupac got shot i mean he's he's withering away

he's like he's a bad mother fine he went to jiu-jitsu tuesday night to begin a class with the first time did what they teach you huh what they teach you um a single and running the pipe i don't know what and you know how to do the single already you remember this is a little different wrestling you have to like kind of like drop a knee and go and were you a wrestler that's a very loose term i was i was on the team what were you wrestling at or wait i think i started high school like 160 and by the end i was like 189 those little singlets i fucking uh wasn't wasn't my wasn't my best look was your senior picture in the singlet no god uh do you have any pictures of you in that singlet i hope not i think you should bring one in i would fucking love to say that i'll

have to go check i think you should change it and make it your your facebook profile pic oh no oh it's terrible but yeah fucking savance this guy i went down with zack last night and it was awesome was it good how long was the class an hour uh an hour and a half that's where i started vmack it's a good little school right around the corner you're good guys good young guys you've been taking jiu-jitsu for a while though two fucking years now yeah zack said you're like the highest striped white belt oh please i'll please i got like three straight white belt i don't want to get i don't want to be a blue bug why not i got to touch feet oh you don't like that i gotta do leg locks and shit i don't want people touching my feet i got that fungi pill leave it alone do you when you

get a massage you don't let them rub your feet what's that when you get a massage you don't let them rub your feet what who gets a massage you don't get a massage no after you work out you don't let some little Thai woman walk on your back i go over here there's a little fucking place on Lancasham they do a 20 happy hour at lunchtime yeah no hand job on them they got the chairs you go in there they soak you ever go in that league they soak your feet and then they rub your body and they you have your pants on your clothes on she rub my feet yeah it's one of those it's a happy yeah yes they put cream they rub your hands they rub your shoulders you don't let them rub your feet if they're ugly right over here by the high yeah that's what i'm saying right there by the the little store

the general store yeah in there by the pizza place they got a little massage and they're fucking look check Tuesday and Thursday this chick is really like a muscular chinese woman really so when she fucking digs into you gets in she digs in there i thought i should have gone today i've never gotten a massage never no you should go over there let her be promise i don't want to go i don't like people touching me i don't like people behind me that's your asshole that's your asshole exposed they always got the drop on you you know what i'm saying no matter how much martial arts you know if you got your face looking down and you're thinking about something else your fingers gonna get in your ass then you're gonna be caught and they're

gonna hold you down and then a bunch of those chinese people gonna come in the finger banging you're sitting there going no no oh my god and you're gonna go why this happened because i gave up my god you never give up your fucking back so you don't switch governments i don't fucking switch i don't give up my god let me get some sponsors in yeah can't fucking do it so the show premieres june 11 there's a friday saturday sunday which is next thursday night at 11 o'clock please set your fucking vha charge do me the solid let's get this motherfucker to fuck with you you you're laughing at that aren't you he got close he got one he was laughing at you said vha you mix vha jessons in dvr whatever the fuck vha and listen if you got a vhs i've set that shit it works it all

goes to the same fucking place cocksuckers just make sure the vcr's on channel three i mean he loves the vcr bit oh he loves it listen i ain't fucking around with you people all right you said three times and there would not be any any animals and then we have like what 175 do you mind if i do this i mean deep everything you you it visibly something has happened to him in the last five minutes whatever that taffy is is pretty strong that taffy's good yeah and and then the green hornet never you don't want to do a star i did a star i saw that no thank you we're starting off with joe dude that's 125 so what what are you fucking care what you got going on tomorrow nothing that's it living living who gives a fuck about living it's overrated oh my god mama coming over tomorrow

yeah uh after work right then nobody you can you can sleep all damn clean up your little joe helmet you'll be ready for when she gets home what's the matter listen for optimal optimization you understand me if you're working out you want to be healthy if you're you're you're confused listen go to honet.com right now honet.com got alpha brain 100 guaranteed they don't even want the fucking product back that's how strong that shit is that's how they open up all right let's say you go get a chinese restaurant if the pork fried ride sucks where you're gonna go from there if the pork fried ride sucks where we go you're gonna order mao chu tang no you pay the six bucks you get the fuck out of there

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going joey what the fuck i need this in my life well i'll tell you what you do need underwear the best out there from t-shirts to hats to fucking these little underwear i wear for my jujitsu and it keeps everything tight today i swept my balls off and i had no ball sweat how does that happen how does the rest of your body how do you know you had no ball sweat because i put my hand under me on these just to make sure just to make sure like a diaper clean did you sniff it after your hand just make sure yeah i know you i know you fuck yeah i know you i know you i love it i love it i love sniffing my ballsack i don't do it in public because there's cameras but i'll do it in the car when i'm driving yeah exactly all right so go to fucking me on the listen you fuck me up with that

what i'm trying to tell you is me on these underwear why you sitting there wearing that same you probably got skip marking your underwears your underwear like those old school white ones it's 2015 even i don't wear white ones anymore that's and i ain't hip at all i have no hipness to me at all i dress like a unit electrician but me on these has these sweatpants josh they cut already i use them to work out these little red things tremendous the t-shirts is what i use under my gifu jujitsu it's that light and absorbs all that fucking sweat me on these ain't fucking around i'm not gonna sit here and blow smoke up your ass and talk to you about materials and cottons and fibers i don't know dick what i do know is that when i put my shorts on and i'm and i'm

supposed to be sweaty and my balls are supposed to stink they're not and for you young guys everybody needs who wants to win stinky fucking balls nobody go to me on these dot com and press in joey boom and get 20 off and free delivery in canada and the united states go to me on these and check out the styles and they also have women underwear too nice you keep the ball sack dry you keep that monkey dry okay you know what's funny what's funny if me on these should change your slogan to who wants stinky fucking nuts they'd make a million why i was good bye for that here we go i'm gonna give you something for free now i'm sure everybody smokes though everybody gets hungry but you're in bad shape whatever because you're eating shitty food no

more nature box dot com got the answer to your fucking solution no more going to the fucking to the fucking machine and getting those shitty potato chips and tacos you don't need that shit me on these has healthy me on these nature box nature box nature box is healthy nutritional nutritional improved snacks try the garlic plantain chips try the south pacific plantain chips try the chocolate momos try the fucking i mean listen man me uh nature box is on fire they sent me a box about a week ago i ate the whole fucking thing me and that baby i gave it those garlic fucking plantain chips they went down let me those sriracha cashews delicious cocoa almonds cocoa almonds i mean this shit goes on for hours the sesame sticks jesus fucking christ

but don't take me don't believe me i'm just a fat fuck you know don't believe me go to nature box dot com right now they're gonna ship you out a free box two big bags three little bags for free gratis on the arm you're gonna pay for shipping like a dollar ninety what are you gonna cry what the fuck put your life together cocksucker and that's it i ain't dragging tv pressing joey oh for me for a nature box how you're sitting there going joey how am i gonna get the free box you're gonna go to nature box dot com right now there's gonna be a box and you're gonna press and joey joey y and get a free box sent to your house you're gonna pay for shipping who gives a fuck you're gonna get five bags of nutrition list tasting tremendous tasting snacks all right

i'm fucked up anyway i ain't dragging tv you like classic martial arts you're sitting there looking at me like a fucking momo you don't know what to watch tonight go to i ain't dragging tv right now i'm pressing joey boom and get two foot come free movies on the arm just like that no fucking must no fuss okay that's it the podcast is over we're too fucked up to do it i want to thank josh will for coming on don't forget his show premieres june 11th at 11 o'clock across the board on cmt all right yeah you know i love you cocksuckers with all my heart sometimes you have accidents tonight i have one you get a little stone pretty hot when you're talking about sure i want to sleep good i didn't sleep well last i've been drinking since 8 30 this morning i'm ready to go to bed

you came in here eyes were beaty as fuck jack yeah we good we're good well good mother fuckers have a great week later i love you guys i see you monday in the afternoon uh all the fucking shout outs to all the people we love everybody on twitter and don't forget the morning joint tomorrow morning about 7 30 i get stoned for an hour you guys stay black he's gonna do this all over again now that the show's over don't forget to go to naturebox.com and sign up to get your free sampler box of great tasting healthy snacks forget the vending machine and start snacking smarter with delicious treats like barbecue kettle kernels go to naturebox.com slash joey that's naturebox.com slash joey go to meundies.com slash joey and look at the pics of the men's and women's

underwear they have they have shirts shorts hats socks everything you want to wear when you go to meundies.com slash joey you're gonna get 20 off of your first order and free shipping in the united states and canada and go to onnet.com and use code word church to get 10 off of all the great optimization products like apple grain in new mood so baby baby why can't you change the deal so I can't see your big enough about me

If I go wrong, I can change you Will you let me show you what I mean? Will you let me come on and die? Will you let me cry? Can I have some? Can I? All I want is a ring for me For all of that thing I had some

Can I? I will take it all Take enough to please me All I want is a ring for me Baby, baby why you dye your hair? Why you always keep on with your mother's hand? So baby why you too? Well baby I know you too

Tell me did it or the joke is going on you If I go wrong, I can change you Will you let me show you what I mean? Will you let me come on and die? Will you let me cry? Can I have some? Can I? All I want is a ring for me

For all of that thing I had some Can I? I will take it all Take enough to please me I need a remedy, yeah But what is there to make you see? I need a remedy But what is there to make me see?

I need a remedy, yeah But what is there to make me see? Wow If I don't have a remedy You see I'm finding, finding You see baby I'm wanting, wanting You see I'm finding, finding Oh I'm really wanting, really wanting

Oh baby I need, I'm wanting Yes baby I need a remedy But what is there to make me see? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,