Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #299 - Joey Fillato and Big Al

Episode Date: July 14, 2015

Joey Fillato, Friend of Joey and Big Al, Former Criminal who was working at the same time as Joey F and Joey Diaz call into the podcast to Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for five Hit E Cig's for $50 Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by using code word joeydiaz. They are also produce some of the best edibles on the market, Los Gummies Hermanos Recorded live on 07/13/15 Music:  For The Love OF Money - The O'Jays Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet I'm Losing You - John Lennon

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July 13th. A beautiful day to be alive. If you're Jewish, this is the anthem. If you're not, this is the anthem. Church, what's happening now, you bad motherfuckers? I'm not a Christian. I'm not a Christian. What's happening now, you bad motherfuckers?

Who the fuck do you think you're dealing with? It's America, motherfucker. Wake up, watch that monkey. Who the fuck do you think you're dealing with? What's happening, baby boy? I had a great weekend. I actually did. You were in San Francisco walking around.

Italian tours. It was a lot of fun. We don't talk about it that much, but you've been really great to me over the past couple of years. You're a great man. We're hitting $300 on Wednesday, and I told you that we were thinking about going to San Francisco for an anniversary, but hotel rooms are just insane up there.

You didn't tell me about it, but you gave me some extra money so I could go for my anniversary. We had a great time. We were a family here, and sometimes I felt guilty about not taking you to Boston. The plane tickets were so expensive. Oh, they're crazy. So I gave you the same amount for the plane ticket.

Sometimes you want to do something for somebody. Something nice. And you know what? I'm not a fucking retard, but I'm not a moron. I know sometimes if I'm going to buy you something for $200, I'm going to go, you know what? What's Lee going to need more? Does he want $200 for some stupid fucking New England shirt?

Or does he want $200 to go get his nice fucking dinner with his wife that he could both enjoy? You follow me? That's the type of guy I am. So sometimes when I see, like, I don't get people a lot of shit, but sometimes I see something, and I go, that fits that person's needs. I'm going to get up in them,

and I look at the price tag and go, what does this person really need from me? Does he need this stupid fucking football shirt or a hat that I was going to get you one time for $300? Or do I give him the $250 and let him go enjoy it? You follow me? That's the type of motherfucker I am. So, and it's nice to get a hat from time to time.

I'm not saying nothing about that. Oh, no, it's great, but it's also, like, part of me for a second was like, ooh, I have all these bills. I could pay some bills. But then I was like, she really wants to go, and I want to go, and we had a great time. Listen, you put work in. I'm not a big 10-day fucking vacation guy on a cruise.

But I tell you what, a change of scenery does the soul great sometime. Lee, I'm talking about, honey, we got no money, but I have enough to take you to San Diego, to Costa Mesa, to get a sandwich and just to walk on the boardwalk. You know how many people like that? You know how many people re-earn to do something like that? Yeah.

Sometimes it's the simplest things, Lee. I've always been into the simplest things, you know? And sometimes you have such a better time. Some of the best times I've had was when I was broke and making the best out of $18. Yeah. Making the best out of $18 with somebody. We didn't really do a lot of crazy things up there.

We stayed in a nice hotel, but other than that, we went and did one of those tandem bikes. Not the ones that are like two-seat, like back-and-back, but it's like you sit side-by-side. That was fun. We walked around like the hippie hill. Have you been in the Golden Gate Park? Fuck yeah.

I worked across the street from Golden Gate Park. Really? In 1985. What were you doing? Bartending. Oh, wow. I hate that. I had a bar called Rockin Robbins

across the McDonald's on the corner. Did you see that McDonald's? No. I want to hate Ashbury. It could be a Burger King. We went to hate Ashbury. There's that Ben and Jerry's. I went to that record store right in it,

like a block down, and I got two Richard Pryor albums. And I took a star before I went. It was a lot of fun. It was just like, when am I going to be up there? San Francisco is a very neat city that everybody should see. It was the first big city I saw when I got out of New York and I immediately fell in love. Oh, it's great.

Only one thing I got to tell you. I wanted you to stay at a nice hotel because that's a bad place to stay at a bad hotel. I'm not putting the city down or anything. The Tenderloin and all that shit down there, that shit's real. Yeah, we walked by it. Ladies and gentlemen, that shit's real.

As a young man, I was up there at the age of 20, and I saw more blood in a summer than I saw in my whole fucking life in New York City. Really? Right by the old original Joe's, I saw a guy getting stabbed once and the brown, the blood was fucking black. Like, he was clinging to fucking life.

I saw another guy get stabbed. I saw a fist fight with sticks on time when I was walking, because I used to take the bus back from Haydash, from Haydashbury to the, whatever the fuck I just told you, the Tenderloin, and then have to walk two or three blocks. I saw shit at night. I saw a pimp beating the fuck. I caught the tail end of the chick on the floor

by the bus station in the Tenderloin. So that was all in fucking, plus I saw the guy that was a boogaloo and hit the gay guys and smacked their wig off. I saw a lot of crazy shit, so I'm happy that you stayed in a nice hotel and you had no problems with fucking, you know. It was great.

And when they used to have that show about the hookers, didn't they have a documentary years ago on HBO about hookers? Yeah, they had a bunch of them. I loved those shows. A bunch of them in San Francisco. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy up there. The Chinese mob is up there. Really?

Yeah, that's all Chinese run. I don't know if it's, I'm the smallest person, I'm not a tough guy at all, but I've always been, maybe I'm stupid, I don't really get scared in cities. I make good choices.

I've never walked through Harlem. You gotta go by crack at a neighborhood at three in the morning. But if I was walking, our hotel is right next to the Tenderloin, and we saw some people who were like, eh, we probably wouldn't want to hang out with them, but if I was just walking, minding my business,

I've never felt like scared that they would mess with me. If I'm not being nosy, if I'm not trying to mess with them, if I just walk by, I don't think anyone's going to mess with you. I tell you, it's all in your body language sometimes. Your body language really tells a lot of you, tells the energy that you're giving off.

Sometimes if you walk, some people walk and they antagonize people because they're flexing their arms. Oh yeah. You know, sometimes, you know, it's just body language is so much. I used to go into deep neighborhoods late at night, and I'd be scared shitless,

but I knew if I contained my body and I kept eye contact to a limit and I walked like I had done it a thousand times before, nobody would fuck with me. Atlanta was great too. I had a great time. Was it really? Yeah, it's a nice little fucking club, man.

It's very quaint. The people were very nice. A nice little family, a nice couple came and gave me a candle from the Chattanooga candle company, a coconut motherfucking cream pie. Smells delicious. You haven't been to Atlanta since I've known you.

I don't think. Other than Rogan Special. Right, the Tabernacle. They have the skull bones, which is 73 seats. So if I had 200 people there on Thursday, I'd have to do three shows on a fucking Thursday night. Is it an earthquake or someone below is doing something? I don't know.

I think somebody below is banging fucking something. So it was the improv was like a year old. It's a great little club. It's nice to have sushi on the menu. Really? The only knock I had was that they put me at a hotel where all there was was a pond and room service. And the California fucking cheesecake factory

across the street. So every time I go to California, cheesecake factory is a 45 minute wait, even to set the fucking bar. Yeah. So I either had a room service or the pond, which, you know, it's not fucking bad, but it's not what I usually want to fucking spend

for lunch and dinner and breakfast. Right, get expensive. Yeah, get fucking expensive. So we had you tweeted a picture of original Joe's and it's funny how I said to you to go and you got to talk her into it. So funny how every time we go to San Jose, you've been with me.

How many times we did original Joe's? Basically every meal. We went, we went for breakfast once. It wasn't even breakfast, but we woke up and we like, you're like, it opens at 1030 or whatever it opened. And we were there as we open the doors. Two steak eggs with toast

and they put the steak on the toast or the butter. I don't think we even got eggs. I think we got spaghetti. We got spaghetti. But it's, when we talk about food on the show or restaurants, I want people to know this so they know what I'm talking about. You know man, if you go to that Luger place,

Peter Luger in New York, that's a great steak. There's a bunch of places you go for a great steak. And I'll tell you what, on the way out, it's gonna cost you $55. I don't know about you guys. I can't pay $55 for a steak. That's a once in a fucking lifetime thing for me. We go, we get the mashed potatoes

and you know, we go to the lunch special at Ruth Chris and get the mutt thing, the fucking eight ounce steak or something. When I talk about great steak, and I know people who listen to the podcast don't have the money to go to these fucking restaurants. No. But Original Joe's is one of those places

that I could get a steak in there for $21. And it's fucking delicious with the onions and the mushrooms and the side of pasta. You know, I love that place. To me, I don't like going to a place where I don't belong. Like there's places where I don't belong, man. Right. I got 19 fucking forks.

I just need one motherfucking fork. You know what I'm saying? I don't need 19 fucking forks with my salad and full of that touffé and shit. I'm not even bread no more. Really? No, I stopped. You cut out all bread?

Good for you. That's hard. I got the wheat pasta and the wheat pasta. I don't know the difference between that and the pasta except the fucking carbs are the same. So what's the fucking difference? But I guess the- I think it's a lie.

I thought that when I first started looking, you think something like whole wheat is gonna be better for you and then it's not. I feel like- This isn't just eating the pasta. It isn't good for you because of the gluten and you get puffy and whatnot. But I was looking at that last night.

I had whole wheat pasta cup and I'm still fucking dying here carb-wise. Well, this weekend proved it to me is that it's all about working out because we stopped and got- we already stopped at this place called Casa de Fruta with a whole bunch of candy. We got McDonald's ones

and I lost weight in San Francisco. But we walked everywhere. So that's all it is. I feel like that- I mean, you have to keep your diet under control. But if I can lose weight eating candy in McDonald's and you just walk it up and down hills,

that's all really- because you work out a lot. You work out almost every day, it seems like. Wow. I try to do something every day. Yeah. You know, a little something every day. Tomorrow I walk Mercy

and I'm gonna take my wife to breakfast and we're gonna go do- do and do with movies or high or whatever the fuck it is. Then I'll come back and I'll try the deadlift or something. I'll go to Jiu-Jitsu Wednesday. By Thursday I'll take a day off,

maybe Friday do upper and lift. Okay. I always try to do something. This weekend I did some great stuff. I got on the bicycle for 20 minutes. Then I jumped on the electrical fraternity and then I jumped in the pool for 20. And I gotta tell you, I was fucking sore Sunday.

When I flew Sunday from Atlanta, I couldn't even fucking move. Do you know I slept three hours on the flight? Oh, good for you. You know that? That my sleeping ever since I went to Jiu-Jitsu and learned to breathe on my back and not panic.

I'm sleeping now, brother. So it's not like you're losing weight and then just lessing the sleep apnea. I think that too. I think that my- but I'm also not having that fear. I had a big time fear of being on my back. Anybody who has sleep apnea

and the numbers are high, you develop a fear because you wake up choking and there's nothing worse than waking up. So I understand waking up choking is scary, but how does that translate to Jiu-Jitsu when you're awake? Okay, because after you go through that

and after you get it treated, you still have the lingering effects of the going on your back. And every once in a while when you go for air, let's say you go to move and you put your shoulder on the hose or something and the air locks up and you miss air, you go into that panic state.

And that's what was happening to me. I went to see the psychotherapist but it was nothing about that. It was just getting on my back and overcoming the fear. Remember when Hegan was here? He told the story about getting on the guy and the guy said,

get off me, I'm panicking. He goes, no. Breathe, stop what you're doing and think about this and get me off you. If you don't panic and you capture your breathing again and your mind clears because breathing keeps your mind really keeps your mind very clear.

No matter what's happening to you, if you keep breathing in and out your nose and at least you know where you are, you know, it clears your mind. It makes you block or run or see an opening or you left his leg opening or he dropped his knife on the floor. I could stab him in the calf.

You know, breathing. Just keep breathing. You know, even in jiu-jitsu when you go through like a big thing like Hegan goes for you, you go for him. You stop. Now you stop. You're breathing.

You're collecting your thoughts. You're looking at them. Now you're looking at his right arm but you know you're going for the left arm. Right. You know, so there's just little things. Breathing controls all that. Breathing is everything.

Breathing controls the lifting. When you lift weights, if you do certain exercises a certain way, if your breathing is aligned with your body, you're an unstoppable force. I was never taught to breathe until five years ago. What do you mean by that?

I was doing everything and holding my breath. Oh, okay. Got it. Okay. So the weights come on me instead of breathing. So as they go down, you exhale and as you go up, you either inhale, exhale.

I don't know which one. I'm just saying once I'm on that. So boom, boom. And you know, so it's all with your breath. Your breath controls a lot of movements. Right, yeah. When people are boxing and they throw a punch, they throw those little things out, you know,

whatever the fuck they do. Yes. And then they retract through their nose, then they spit out through their mouth. But in every aspect, breathing, it's like when I go swimming, I have to change my breathing. Because as I'm going,

as I'm pushing, I'm sucking in. Okay. As I'm putting my head up, I'm sucking in oxygen. Once my head goes down again, I'm blowing it out in the water. So when you see somebody swimming, when they turn their head, they're breathing.

Right, yeah. And as they go back in, they're exhaling, breathing. And then they get into a beat. So for every two things they do with their arms, they might pop their head up to the side. But they don't pop it to flex their muscles. It's all part of this motion. Boom, boom, boom, boom.

So it's all part of the motion. When you see a really good swimmer, when you see guys like you and me, we go for air. When you see a really good swimmer breathe, it goes through the motion, through his arms. He just pops it, right there, that motion. He's inhaling.

And as he hits into the water, you see bubbles coming out. Right. All of a sudden I'm fucking SpongeBob SquarePants and shit. Is that what happened to you at the store, do you think? You hold your breath for too long? No, I just walked up the stairs

and wasn't thinking and just had negative thoughts in my mind and they escalated to something else with the reef. You know, when I go for a blood test, if I don't feel that needle, everything's cool. Once I feel the needle, it sends a message to my brain and my brain decides to do something with that message.

Either I control it, or I let it grow out. If I breathe normally and listen to the music and dance while I'm getting the blood taken out, everything's fucking primo. Yeah. But if I tense up from that thing, once I tense up my breath,

now I'm catching my breath. And now I'm thinking, oh my God, I'm gonna faint. Oh my God, I'm gonna faint and I'm gonna fucking faint because you're telling yourself you're gonna fucking faint. Right, that's what happens to me.

I have an issue when I get high around Paula because she doesn't do it that often now anymore. She doesn't want to do it no more. She just can't because she has the DA. Like, she can do it maybe sometimes, but almost never. But if I see her, I start to giggle sometimes. And I was wondering,

do you ever get giggly on weed? Like, do you ever sit at home? All the time. Monday when we ate the 500 milligrams, I kept going home and thinking about calling you, telling you, are you ever having that Dave T-shirt guy? Nope.

We're gonna put the fucking pressure on him on Wednesday. Oh, that was so terrible and I was high out of my mind and I don't like confrontation and he was getting all these calls and pizza sent to him and I was like, he's gonna call the police.

We're gonna go to jail for harassment. He can't do dick. He can't do dick. I can testify against Joey. You forget about us, cocksucker. Don't make me start the fucking regime of 801 again tomorrow because that's what we'll do.

We fucked this world up. He was getting pizzas. He got everything. Fuck him, dawg. He was a scumbag to us. He was just a jerk. He wasn't even polite. He was just playing on fucking rude.

Oh, I know. You tried to be nice. I tried to be nice and what do you want me to do? What the fuck I want you to do? Make good on this shirt. Boy, you can't do that to them. What are you talking about? Then why do business with you?

Right, yeah. Then we're gonna fuck up your yelp. So when all these fucking Uber drivers call you and they get a T-shirt, they know you're a fucking sack of shit, we should just call them right now on the fucking podcast and tell them what we fucking think.

You wanna do it? Fuck yeah. Tell them. This cocksucker, what's crackin' and shit. We'll send the fucking cop. I feel like going down there with the cops. That's what we should do. Now leave him alone

because I wanna talk about drug rips today. We got my main man, Joey Felado, told us. You know, when I told that story that day on how I would set up a drug rip, I got so many fucking emails. Really? Oh my god. It was like people's minds were blown.

Like they had never heard. They had never watched a TV show before. Nothing like that. It's crazy how for you it's totally normal and it's, but for people like me and I think a lot of the listeners, just like at most, the most we ever did is buy weed from some kid at the high school.

And I never even did that. And you're talking about casing places and it's just like whoa. Oh my god. Yeah. You know, when you write the stories out, that's when I really realized how fucking crazy I was and how crazy the situation was.

You know, when Ari was telling me to get stories ready, I wrote a story about Robin and a drug dealer before I went to Colorado the first time and just writing it on paper almost gave me a nervous breakdown. What was it about? It was just a guy that my mother knew and they would come up from Miami in those days

and get hotels in Union City and you get two or three hotel rooms and that's how you sell the coke and you know, you go to the room and then they take the money and they call somebody and you know, you would call from room to room to room. Oh, okay.

So you had to put somebody with binoculars to watch and see what room they came out of. Jesus. And then you had to put cars there and anytime they moved out of that room, that's when you wanted to attack because when you have coke in the hotel, you can't let maids in the room.

Right. So you always have to have somebody in there switching shifts, you know. Would you ever ever look at an informant, like a maid and you'd be like, tell me when this is over? I fucking wish I had that. I never had that.

You never had that? No. Like an inside maid and they have them. You know, for a fact that some maids will say, but then again, the maids get in trouble if somebody gets robbed. Like in Boulder, a guy had a fucking truck filled with weed one time

and I guess he took eight of the pounds and put them under his bed and the maid found him, called the cops on the guy. That was really popular in Boulder. When I went to jail in Boulder County, like when they were holding me, 10%, 20% of the people were in there because of hotel mistakes.

Jesus. Just people going to a hotel, cops come to the hotel at night and do a background check on all the guests. Really? Some weird shit. I've heard some weird shit. Why not?

Yeah, fuck it. You know, and they've done stupid shit. They've done stupid shit like that. You know, I've heard maids come back and smell weed. I think I don't smoke in my fucking hotel rooms. I don't give a fuck. I'm not smoking in my fucking hotel room. I don't care if people do it all the time.

It's like robbing a car. Once they come in, you're guilty. It's not the pot in your room. Right. That gives them the right to shit. It saves my room. What if I'm in Atlanta? There's no fucking legal weed there.

Right, yeah. Any of these things. There's no legal weed. I smoke a joint and I go for a fucking walk, man. And nobody gets their feelings hurt, you know? But you never know. You give them, you know, I heard of people with 20 pounds of coconut trunk

smoking a joint in that car. Jesus. You can pull it over. They smell the weed. I'm going to open up your fucking trunk. You know, all these little things that cops look for, anybody looks for. These are just basic minor league mistakes.

Do you have more common sense, or did you make these mistakes? I watch people that make those mistakes. Ah. You force people to make those mistakes. You force them into something they won't do. Okay. I watch that movie Focus on the Plane.

I watch two movies on the plane on the way to Atlanta. The first one was that Sean Penn going to Beirut or something. Horrid. Him and the guy that won the Oscar for, the one who's married to the chick, I don't fucking know from that movie with, who the fuck knows. I'm not sure.

The Spanish dude. Antonio Bender? No. The other dude that came after him that was in, he's married to Penelope Cruz. I'll look it up. That fucking dude. Real, real good looking dude.

So Sean Penn does a movie with him. That movie was a fucking sleeping pill. But then there was a movie called Focus or something with the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and some hot little blonde shit. Okay. And the movie's all about scamming people. About? Javier Bardem.

Javier Bardem. How to scam people. And the main scam is this Chinese guy. That's a professional gambler. And they scam him at the Super Bowl. Because him and her are betting numbers on the jersey. Or who scores first. What's he going to do next?

And they pull the scam. Okay. Where the guy goes, I want to bet with you guys. They gamble loud enough to suck the guy in. And they just keep betting, betting, betting. They get up to like four million dollars and Will Smith is going to lose.

And the chick doesn't want him to lose because it's money they scammed from all these. It's when a big event happens in a town. Right. How a team of people come into that town, the pickpocket. You know, that's why I hate those big events. It's a suckers' paradise. That's when maids give information.

That's when maids are like, fuck you. Joey Diaz and this fucking other guy in this room. I could smell the fucking coconut. You know, I'm not stupid. I see the alcohol. I see the fucking residue on the fucking glass tables. So this is what happens when there's a Super Bowl, Indy 500, a big event comes to your town.

Not only does your town get infested with hookers, but your town gets infested with small time crooks like I was. Really? Like there's like traveling crooks? Traveling crooks. No way. And all they do is run games. They fucking pickpocket you.

You know, and these people were very high tech. They would pickpocket you, you know, use the cards, take the cash, and then buy products with those cards and put them on eBay. That's brilliant. That is fucking brilliant. That's why you get great deals on eBay. Oh, that's smart as fuck.

That's fucking smart as fuck. People got a brand new computer for 300. Remember when I told you? I'd go to your house and say, what do you want? I want a 500-dollar computer. I'm gonna be back back in an hour. I want 250 cash. I'm not sure.

I can't prove it. But I think there's someone in a post office around here with a card scanner, because twice from Bank of America I've got a credit card. And before I even activated it, I get a call, are you spending 500 Macy's this much here? And it's just, it's... There must be a ton of people doing it.

This area here, you're crazy to put your card in anything. In anything. Yeah. Jesus. Whether it's... This is Russianville. This is Russianville. This is up here.

You go to Glendale, your card's gonna get stolen. You go to Las Vegas, your card's gonna get stolen. You know, there's people, you know, they put that guy in that movie in that fucking thing. They showed him taking a whole ATM machine out of the wall. That was fake. No way. I worked in retail for like five or six years,

including restaurants and stores, and I never really saw any of that. So those waitresses, when they come to you and they say, you want a drink? Yeah, let me run a tab. There's a guy sitting there with one of those machines, and she goes up to him with the card, he takes the card, swipes it, and when she walks back,

he puts your card on the table. So they already got your fucking numbers. That's when the waitresses are in on it. Hell yeah. But they got everything on camera, seeing Las Vegas. So once you call that in, if a bunch of them appear, they're gonna look through the fucking film.

And those people who are looking for gambling people, they see those type of scams too. So it's tough to be a fucking criminal today. It's gotta be. Oh please, because everybody's got a camera. Look at what happens in whatever with that pot store. They had visible cameras. The pot store that they broke into,

and the cops were eating the brownies. Hell yeah. Where the fucking cop department's still saying that those guys weren't eating brownies. But they're on tape, eating brownies. And there's more tapes. Jesus. That's what they don't know.

There's more tapes in the back when they were robbing their fucking pockets. The people had cameras on the saves, cameras on the floor saved. They had cameras everywhere. There's even more cameras. So yeah, people, listen, if I had fucking money in my house,

$200,000 and a half a kilo in my house, I'd have cameras that you'd see. And I'd have cameras that you wouldn't see. That'd be the smart thing. Yeah, you have to. Let them take down the cameras and giggle. We got this. And you still got two more fucking cameras.

Point to that. Your loot, point to that. Your door. Microphone. Microphone. If you got the money, you could have everything now. You could watch your house while you're out of the house. Can you not?

There's a red band. Red band has something that... They sell for like a hundred bucks now, like a web nanny camera. Even now they have like actual security cameras that you can do it. But it's... Yeah, it's crazy.

Do you think now, if you were to be born when I was born, let's say, and how many cameras and computers they have now, do you think you still would have been in criminal or do you think something else would have happened? No, because everything you do, they got you on a fucking tape.

I mean, you live on a fucking tape. Right. Whether I'm at the airport, whether I get out of a cab, but you know, when you go to the airport and you park your car, you don't think you're being watched. I don't think...

Since you park your car, why wouldn't you? I don't think I think... I just don't think about it. I know... Yeah, if you're the NSA, if you're who's ever watching airports, I'm taking a bomb out of my fucking trunk and put it in my luggage

or whatever the fuck I'm gonna do. I'm watching that parking lot. Yeah. I'm watching a mile outside the parking lot. As soon as I make that right onto Century Boulevard, I got a camera right there if I'm the NSA. There's cameras everywhere though.

There could be a fucking truck. I got to scratch my balls and my balls were hanging out because I ripped my pants all the way down the middle. I don't have a wardrobe date today. As I was leaving, I went to pour the iced tea

and Mercy put the lid on it and then it's tightening. So I went all over my shirt. Then I got in the car and my something got hooked on the door hinge and I ripped my pants right across the middle.

But you know what I mean? I didn't give a fuck. I went to the bank. I took out 50 bucks. I went to the weed store. Whipped my dick out. Nobody caught it. No underwear?

No underwear. It's 88 degrees. Does Mercy laugh when you make mistakes like that when you spill juice in your shirt? She didn't see it. She was in the other room. Nobody saw it.

Just me like an asshole. I used to love... I used to... I had a problem when I was young. If I was uncomfortable with something, like if something made me feel awkward, I would laugh. So if someone fell,

I would laugh. So I didn't know if Mercy... That's why I laugh at you when you're fucking all stone drooling like a momo over here. So I'm going to have Joey Felato call up. I haven't had him in a while.

It's nice when we have people call up to break up the monotony. Wednesday is our 300 fucking episode. That's crazy. 300 fucking episodes of a podcast. Who the hell does this craziness? Rogan's got 600, doesn't he? Yeah, at least.

669 or some shit like that. Yeah, that's who you were, yeah. Six fucking hundred episodes. I thought about afterwards. 600 fucking episodes. What does Adam Carolla up to? He must be up to like thousands. Thousands.

Mark Marin, thousands. Yeah. It's amazing. Someone said something. I think it was Leon on Twitter said the original churches were great but chaotic. And I haven't even listened to them,

but they must have been. You remember when we used to do football picks and they were all always wrong? Every pick we ever had was the losers. We just gave up on it. Well, when I started the podcast, I wanted to have people on that I had

grown up with just to show the state of mind that I grew up in. So people knew where the fuck I was coming from. Right. I thought it would simplify matters until people listen and go, this isn't for me or this is for me.

And we had some wild times on the podcast. We had some wild times in the fucking apartment. But if you listen to the podcast, you can see how much you've grown. We've grown as people. We've grown as human beings.

Even the people that come up to me now and go, I've been there since Beauty and the Beast. Wow. You wouldn't still be here if you didn't hear something. So I appreciate that you're still

fucking listening at the 300 Goddamn episodes. I mean, who else talks about drug rips? And I want to talk about this shit. You know, that day when we were talking about it, my heart was beating.

Really? Oh, just thinking about what it's like to get up in the morning, have no money in the bank. A bank account was the farthest thing from my mind. If I didn't have it in my pocket in those days, I didn't have it, Lee.

I would say to myself, when are we going to open the bank account? I'm going to be in there two days later, taking the money out. There was no savings in my life back then. You lived by hustling, you know,

and that's what you wanted. You wanted to bump into somebody. I said, come here. I'm selling some coke now. The cocaine business in the early 80s, mid-80s, it's like the podcasting business now. Nobody really knows.

Nobody knows what's going to happen. Every day this fucking changes. Now you got Periscope. So when people, people that sold coke didn't just start selling coke. They sold weed before the

cocaine. Okay. And they figured, why am I selling two pounds of weed when I can sell an ounce of coke and make the same fucking dope remit? You're following me?

Instead of selling this much, I'm going to sell this much. So they had an idea, but also nobody breaks into your house for a pound of weed. People will break into your house for an ounce of coke. People will set you up in weird

ways for four ounces of coke, you know, the way the cop sent you, you know, for a cop to somebody's phone. Oh yeah. For a cop to really get you, they have to make multiple buys of two ounces or more.

Okay. All right, two ounces is a standard. They're not going to bust you the first two ounces. Well, isn't that a lot? Because didn't you usually buy it by grams?

So if it's two ounces, that seems like a lot to buy. But how the cop sets you up. Okay. Is they buy a gram, a gram, an eight ball, two ounces. Oh. Okay.

They come to you and they say the coke you have is tremendous. Now I want to buy two ounces. Once they go for that 56 grand, that's how they fucking get you to roll. Oh, okay. You know, anybody can do a

fucking year for a gram of blow. You know, it's distribution. You were distributing. You look at this fucking guy. You got a DUI. What do you do a week later? You went into a rehab. That's what you do when you get

out. Oh, yeah. He took a week. He took a week too long. So when you get busted for selling the gram of coke, and it's your first defense, you could beat this with a good

background. And if you do some work, what do I mean by beat it? You could do 60 days in a rehab and three years probation. They're going to test you, but you're not going to go to jail.

Right. That's beating. That's okay. You know, if you sold, cops aren't going to get you for a gram because they don't. A year, you could do it standing on your head.

They're going to scare you and say you should roll. You don't fucking roll for a gram. They're going to get you to roll for two ounces. That's when you do six or seven years.

Have you listened to the podcast serial? No. I don't want. I won't spoil it for anyone, but it's about a guy who is convicted of murder and they're saying might not have done it.

And one of the things that is talked about in the case is that the main witness was coached, might have been coached by the police or like threatened like we'll try to do with this people we want. Do you ever have any dealings

like that? Like where they were like. No, but if somebody, if a cop wants to make a conviction, bad enough, they'll do dumb shit. Yeah. You know what happened with Hurricane Carter, the boxer.

And there's been thousands of arrests where they're wrong arrests, you know, but if a cop really wants it. Whether they're being pressured, that could be it too. I believe a lot of shit and I don't believe a lot of shit

because I've done time. Right. And you've never been somebody who's done time that's guilty. Nobody's guilty. Right. They all get set up. It was their uncle's fault.

Nobody ever is guilty. Okay. But the cops will fucking, you know, they could darken something up, man. They could, they have all the power. They have all the fucking

power to darken something up. If it really didn't happen, eventually you'll beat it. You know, all these guys are getting out of jail now. 20 years later, 25 years later. I mean, you can't get your life back.

What you could do is sue them for 20 million, get three, and get your dick sucked for the 10 years you do have left in this world. You know, if you do 25 fucking years, I can't imagine being in prison wrongly.

But I could see it because where there's smoke, there's fire. Right. You know, listen, Lee, if you're walking, if you're here with me today for two hours. Okay.

And a little Jew, shoot somebody at Subway Sandwich on fucking Slauro Canyon. And 10 people say it's you. And I say you're here with me. Okay. Right. What do you think's going to

happen? Probably 10 against one, right? I mean, and now they're going to break my credibility. You know? Yeah. I mean, unless you're on microphone and people are

watching you on Ustream and you have a thousand people. Well, that's the issue. The trial was from 99 before they had any of that shit. Now, hopefully it's going to happen a lot less. But then it's crazy how that

happens. I talked to Paul about that because she wants to be a DA. And she was kind of freaking out about it. Like how it's a lot of pressure to maybe put someone in who's not guilty.

Well, listen, after a few years you see things for what they are. You know, you have a radar and we're all compassionate at first. You're all very compassionate. But once you've been a cop for five, six years, once you've been a DA for five, six years, and

you see the horrible things that life really has to offer that most individuals in this life do not see it here. And they probably get cynical. Yeah. We hear shit now because it's on the Internet.

We hear about that Lady Light, her baby on thawing, the microwave oven. You know, I mean, because it's on the Internet and news is national now, 20 years ago you didn't hear all those things. So cops dealt with it on a

fucking local level. Right. You know, it wears on a cop to see that type of... So once you get jaded or what's the word you used? Uh, I forget. Cynical.

Yeah, you go. Cynical. You think to yourself that everybody's guilty. Right. Everybody. And you do this not just with that.

We do this with when we're editors. We figure that every fucking company is robinous. Right. When we're comedians, we're always on the look for, you know, you're always doing all

these things but watching your back. Right. Whereas a cop, I mean, anybody who comes in, there's always a good cop back cop and there's always one cop that sucks your hand and the other cop's saying

you're a liar and you gotta, you know, you gotta protect yourself. I mean, right now, God forbid tonight something happens and something happens that somebody dies that's close to me. Right.

And I was over there. They're gonna fucking call me in and they're gonna fucking ring me, ring me and say, you were there, listen to what happened. You got into an argument over a podcast and you hit them in

the head with a fucking thing of, uh, uh, alpha brain and, you know, they paint the picture and now you gotta fight yourself out. Right. And if you say the wrong thing, you're putting a fucking

cell, my friend. So if you're putting a fucking cell, here you are wrongly accused or whatever the fuck you get. Right. So you're putting a fucking cell.

Right. You're being accused or whatever the fuck you got. I mean, I could see it. I've been, I'm very fortunate. I've been scared half my life because of that. Right.

I've been wrongly accused for something. You could be driving, we could be leaving the podcast tonight at six o'clock at night, making a U-turn, a cop will pull us over and say, get out of the car.

We just saw you at a bank heist over on 66th and Community Pole Avenue. And there you are. Right. They're the fuck you are. It's a weird call. What?

We got a call. Oh. That's terrifying though. What's up, my brother? What's up, Coco? What's going on, my man? Not that long. How you doing?

Long time. Long time. He's going to be in Vegas with us in September. My main man, Joey fucking F. What's up, baby? How's it going? Oh, yeah.

Is that Lee Syat? We got this. That's Lee Syat. It's been a long time since you spoke to the flying. Oh, baby, you're going to Vegas, too? The flying Jew always goes

to Vegas. He's a staple. It's like going to Vegas in the 50s and not seeing Dean Martin, man. Oh, I can't week the flying Jew. And you don't know what?

The flying Jew. He's up to 500 milligrams on edibles. He's shutting motherfuckers down. Up to it doesn't really, it doesn't really count if you puke over your kitchen. He fucking puke the tortellini

because it's wholesale tortellini. I can't wait to meet you, Lee. I can't wait to meet you, too, Joey. What's going on, brother? Hey, Coco, you know what? I got to call up, I got to call up on a landline because I really can't hear you too good.

I will call you right back on a landline. Take your time, but hurry up. All right. All right. Bye-bye. No, being wrongly accused has always scared the shit out of me.

You'll be leaving somewhere at two in the morning and somebody sees you, a blue shirt, you catch a beating, they take you to fucking, and half these people that look at that guy and whatever,

that they was wrongly accused, he was driving home, they beat the fuck out of him. And he got like 3 million from the fucking city of Los Angeles. Jesus. The reason the city of Los Angeles is broke

is because they pay out all those lawsuits. Oh, sure. What's up, Joey? Not much, baby. For all those listeners out there, Joey Begadonis is back. Oh, shit.

Jumping Joe Filato. Oh, shit. Joey, about six weeks ago, about six weeks ago, we were here, and I was talking to somebody and we started getting into the story about drug rips,

how in the 80s, nobody really knew what was going on and people were pot dealers. And then we came along and it was like, you know, I only done two of them where we played cops

and that type of shit. Everything else I did was some guy who fucking beat us on three quarters of a gram. We got pissed. We broke in his house and robbed him for an ounce and a half. Which to us in those days

was a million fucking dollars. Sure, sure, definitely. You know? Yep. Well, you know, in my career, I did a lot of that shit. I did something with a couple of guys that you probably know

who's named Big Lou. Okay, he's gonna call in later. Oh, my God. He was the man with that coax. I mean, all we did is we had this guy in New York City. We had this black guy

that was like a Patterson cop and he would go around and he just fucking sit on like 179th Street in Amsterdam and just look for people. You know what I mean? And all of a sudden we get a phone call. It'll be me, Big Lou and Danny.

Those are the ones that would do it. You know? And we did it for a while. We had teams, man. We had teams. Big Lou comes in, right? Ask him about FOSCO. There was this,

you know, on 178th and St. Nicholas. Right when you come off the bridge. You make that right turn. Before the bridge. Right there. Afterward. Right there.

After the bridge. Right there. It's a 34th precinct. And we took this guy one time, man. We got in a van. We drew him in a van. We locked him up. We handcuffed him

and we drove him around for like two hours trying to beat the shit out of him. Beating him up, trying to get his keys to his house. He wouldn't give us the keys finally. He gave us the keys to his house. We go into his house

and he got nothing there. So Big Lou tells him, listen, and I don't know if you ever met Big Lou. Big Lou was six foot six, three hundred pounds. He's very, very scary. Big Lou told him,

say, listen, man, you know, we're not the cops. So it's either you, money or your body. What he said. The guy all of a sudden made a phone call. We were standing close

right out on 178th. Right out in front of the police station. He makes a phone call to this guy. Now it's me, Lou, and this guy FOSCO. I got a nine millimeter in my bag, in my pocket, and Lou's got a badge on

with a shirt over and a hat. So now he digs first. He goes, we were cops. So all of a sudden this guy pulled up and all of a sudden he starts saying something in Spanish, something in Spanish. So all of a sudden FOSCO gets in the car.

The other guy gets out of the car. He goes, hold on one second. I'll be right back. Now we got this guy holding a paransum. You know, so we're talking all of a sudden, 20 minutes later,

he comes back with a, with a bag, a brown bag with 10,000 in cash. And a kilo. And he gives it to us. All of a sudden we let the guy go. We jump in one of those gypsy cabs

and boom, we go right over to the, right over to his house in Palisade Park. That was a great score of us, man. Oh my God. There's so many of them I could tell you about. How old,

how old were you Joey? Was this like high school? Heard me. Was this like high school or later? Well, this is a little bit later later. This is probably about when I was 20, 21 years old.

You know, that was my, that was our job. That was our job. You know, I mean, and we would just live by score by score. You know, I mean, we had one time we were,

we had no money and all of a sudden, Danny was like, well, I can do somebody out in California who's got a lot of weed. We're like, okay, let's do it. So all of a sudden we start

planning this caper and we go to loose house and we're figuring out things and loose father, loose father was a career criminal too. He's like, you guys are fucking great. How are you going to get

the hardware on the plane and the hardware meeting the guns and stuff like that. So we were like, we don't know. So all of a sudden we go out to California and we're going to meet,

can I say his name, Jamo? I can say that. You already said it's over. You know, we meet him. All of a sudden, we meet him one day, Danny goes meet him.

We come back the next day. We go to a, like a gun store and we get pellet guns, Coco. We get pellet guns. All of a sudden now we go get $2,000 in cash

and we put it all in singles and we put $100 build on the outside. So it looks like we got a lot of money. Danny calls up Jamo. He meets us at the hotel. Now, Danny is setting up Jamo.

So all of a sudden, he comes into the hotel. I'm standing in the closet and you have no events in the closet. You can see out the door and lose on, lose on the balcony.

All of a sudden he comes walking through the door. I jump out with my pellet gun, but I have it up in the air because I don't want him to see the front of it because the hole was small. All of a sudden I said,

freeze, you're under arrest. All of a sudden, Lou came off the balcony, grabbed him, threw Danny and the other guy on the floor and I'm like, oh my God, there it is, Lou. I opened up the bed.

It was 62 pounds of weed in one big giant, like two bags he had. We grabbed them, we handcuffed them to the sink. We do the keys there and we left them both there and we just bolted out of there.

Some of the shit we did with Lou was fucking crazy, man. Crazy, with that big guy. Oh my God, I remember handcuffing a guy and I was never so scared of getting my life joyful out of him.

By the time I handcuffed Bella, I was pretty sure. Excuse me? By the time I handcuffed the guy I went to jail for kidnapping, I wasn't scared. Yeah.

But before that, I had handcuffed two guys and I was shitting my fucking pants off. Oh man, I mean, it's all we did. It's all we did for like maybe five years straight.

We would just, you know, live score to score. So all of a sudden, you know, it would run out. All of a sudden, boom, we'd wait for a phone call from this guy Al and all of a sudden,

every couple of months, we would go over there and take down the drug dealers. You know, I know a couple of guys had a, like you remember, he went to jail. His name is Dave,

forgot his last name. Yeah. He went to jail for killing somebody. They kidnapped him. They stuck staples in his head. They killed him.

Him and Anthony Castelli. You know, they all had their own teams and stuff. But thank God, I never got caught. You know, Lou did a lot of them.

Lou had a really big one. One time, man. He could tell you something that unbelievable. That's how I met him though, you know, doing that kind of stuff. You know,

he was a professional boxer too, Lou. Wait till you tell you some little stories. You know, you, how you graduate in 85, I graduated too when I was always a year old.

When my mother died in 80, my mother had, my mother was in that world. They were coming to the house that the first time I did blow with lubes, I stole it from 10 kilos that were in my basement.

I didn't even know what they were worth. And I would just take coke and give it to my friends. I didn't know what the fuck it was. Yeah. But after my mom died, I kept in contact with those people. And these people were serious fucking Cubans.

And they would come up from Miami, call me and say they're in town. They want to see me for me to give them money. And then they'd introduce me to their friend in Union City. And I'd 9 out of 10, I'd rob that guy.

And in those days, I was climbing roofs. I was doing the sickest shit. I mean, it was natural for me, Joey. Oh, it was natural. I remember. I remember Rago used to tell me all the shit you would do.

Oh, my God. He was the only guy I was honest with. I mean, I was a piece of shit. But if you, if you fuck, Joey, in those days, if you fucked with me in North Bergen, and there was a lot of people in those days that thought they were cute.

And I was down and they fucking like, you know, I could give you five names of people that thought they were cute with me. And at the end of the day, I fucking clipped them. And they knew I did it. And they couldn't do a fucking thing about it.

And it was so funny. And then I realized I could clip people all around. And I was catching people sleeping. Oh, yeah. I caught something. We did, we did. We did often for years.

I didn't work for years. That's all we did. You know, because in New York City, Jersey, it's so easy. You go right across the bridge and then we had this black guy when you asked Lou about Al. He was black.

He was a partisan cop. So it was actually so great. He used to stand right on the corner and he could stand with these, you know, those Des Moines and all the Dominicans and stuff like that over there. You know, and he wouldn't even know he was there.

All of a sudden, a couple of days later, we get a phone call. All right, it's on. Meet me over here in 160th and St. Nicholas. All right, here we go. We're going to work, you know. It was crazy at that time, though.

And then one time we almost got the FBI fucking called us. And Louie got caught with the FBI and all of a sudden this and that. Oh, my God. It was a big fucking ordeal. I had to go in front of the FBI. 100 content Street.

Jack Campanella, his name was. Oh, my God. I'll never forget that. Fuck, man. I must have robbed 200 dog drug dealers, Joey. And I don't, there's so many that just did little fuck ups.

Like when I went to Colorado, I took my New Jersey technology mind. I was a New Jersey criminal in North Bergen where people see you coming a mile away. You understand? I grew up in a society. They'll see you in Colorado.

They'll see you in Colorado. In New Jersey, they see their setup. They're like, why has this kid been coming over here too much? They know. Used to buy grams. Now he's buying eight balls. Where's he getting the money from?

People have ears. So I went from fucking New Jersey where they saw you coming with Colorado where they didn't even suspect it. And I was shoving the lights out. I was shoving snow. You know what I was doing, Joey? I knew drug dealers had coconuts.

Let's say I go in and they have four ounces. I take two eight balls. And I kept them on a string. And then I kept them on a string. And then what I would do is when I get ready to rob them, I wait till they get a big ship and then I fucking take them down. But for a month, I'd take them for an eight ball a day.

Like nothing. They'd be skiing. Who the fuck skis? That would be good money back then. Yeah. But this is what I tell people. I was talking about Pyroscope this morning with this fucking comic con.

You know, we got fucking ISIS cutting people's heads off. And here in San Diego dressed up like Batman, like a jerk off. You know what I'm saying? Like a fucking jerk off that you are at these fucking momos. Ah, Star Trek. Look at me.

Like a fucking, but meanwhile, those are the people I pray on. Those fucking jerk off. Because they're too busy. Listen, drug dealers don't do that. You know what drug dealers do? They sell drugs. They don't watch TV.

They're drug dealers. They're the best people to rob. They can't go to the cops. They can't go to the cops. They can't go to the cops. They're old. You know what I'm saying? They can't go to the cops.

When a drug dealer would tell me he was going to Disneyland or going skiing. And I'd ask him, how many times do you ski? I ski every week on Wednesdays. Wingo. This motherfucker's going down

eventually. On Wednesdays, eh? Yeah. Oh, yeah. And they tell you, I go skiing on Wednesday if you party out really. Even as a criminal,

you didn't take vacations? Criminals don't. Listen, if I went on a vacation, I robbed people. Listen, San Francisco, I caused so much havoc in a hotel in San Francisco,

because I used to steal it. I used to rob the maid's keys. The maids in those days would leave the keys in the door and they'd clean. So I'd watch them and I'd take the fucking key. And it was over after that.

I had two or three days. There was a bookmaker I robbed in San Francisco in the hotel. He couldn't figure out who was robbing. He'd come to me and go,

somebody keep fucking robbing me. He was one of those dollar guys that sold those tickets. Yeah, yeah. He'd have turned it off. I'd take every fucking single plus all the slips from him and fuck his world up.

He'd be sitting there in the lobby going, somebody fucking rob me again in the building that fucking spic maid. And it was me the whole time. I'd be fucking buried. Yeah.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I could see a drug dealer a mile away. Oh yeah. Yeah. Well, that's how it was over by us.

You know, everybody had their own teams and we were doing it from like maybe 88 to 92. Easy. Every fucking week doing it. Danny knows a lot too.

It was me, Danny and Louis. That was the team. We had the guy out. You guys got so good you started robbing each other. Yes. You motherfuckers started robbing each other.

You took, you made Russo and Kurt go down to Florida. These guys started robbing each other. One of the greatest quotes I ever heard in my life was July

or something of 99. I took Darren to breakfast and in the middle of his food I looked at him and I go, you still get into fights. He goes, there's nobody left to fight.

I got to fight my friends now. He goes, I got nobody left to fight. I got to fight my friends. That's how I got with these guys. They had nobody left to rob. So they started robbing each other. So it was these two clicks

of North Bergen. First they started together Russo and this Danny beyond cooler. They were the fucking hottest drug teams since fucking Aberdeen Costello. They were buying trucks.

Yeah, they were. Look, you think I'm kidding you. They were moving. They were like, they were like, oh my god. Crocket and tubs. Oh my god.

Every time I went back to bring them guns, they had fucking trucks and ski jeets. What are those things you ski with? Jets. Jetski.

Jetski. Tommy had all the toys. All the toys and the motorcycles. These guys were making big money. Then one time I heard they're broken up.

Tommy tried to rob the other guy. Then they went out war for each other. Then they even got, they couldn't get caught. One went to Miami. Who'd they rob?

They robbed Kurt. Kurt in Miami, right? They robbed Kurt in Miami. Who the fuck, they went all the way down and they got robbed. Two sets of money.

Look at Danny. Danny, we robbed his cousins. We robbed his cousin, fucking like 60 something pounds of weed we had to take. Then it was funny. We got it. Then also we had to

drive it all the way down to Los Angeles. We were someplace in Diamond Bar, California. Also, we had to drive up to Los Angeles. Then we had to ship it back in the mail

and we shipped it to some place in Paterson. Oh my God. It was, but Jamie was calling Danny for months, for months because

he knew he set him up. He knew he set him up. We were so down and out we had a robber's cousin. That's what we had to do. Oh man. That was the time.

Thank God I'm on the lam though now. Now I'm hiding out. Nobody knows where I am. Listen man, every month I get a nervous breakdown.

I do a podcast with Lee. I got to tell you, Joey, I do a podcast with Lee and I eat an edible and for some reason I go home

and I smoke some pot and I make some coffee and my fucking mind starts to race at 11.30. Oh yeah. I can't lie to you, Joey.

Sometimes I get tears in my eyes and I say, I can't believe that situation or going to West New York. Oh my God, yeah.

I went to West New York one night. Wait till we tell, wait till I see Lee. The situation, Lee, that we lived in, man, it's like, you guys live in

Disney World compared to if you know that. Something North Virgin was on an Indian burial ground or something. I remember one night, Dave Black,

Dave Black's sister was fucking a Colombian drug dealer, the hot one. She was just giving them pussy for coke. Giving them, and Dave knew it.

Yeah. She knows it. She just goes with it, gives them pussy, throws like an ounce of blood once a week. And we went over there and robbed him

while he was fucking the sister. That's how cold blooded we were. With guns and the whole thing. Wow. And the sister

was on all fours sucking his day. I mean, it was horrible. We're robbing the guy and she's sucking his day. You can't write this shit.

Do you at least save some for her? No. You cannot write this shit. No way. Thank God, whoever the fuck was

driving kept the car running. I mean, it was just this is shit that I sit there sometimes. That's the way of life over by us. You know, that was it.

I mean, you go right into Manhattan, I mean, go to Washington, rob somebody and just get out of there. We do it on a Friday night. All of a sudden, boom,

you need some money. You go make a score, come back and we went to quintessence. The one I did, the one I did in 93 was with your cousin. God bless his soul.

Didn't you guys rob the gas station with the water guns? And then we robbed, we robbed all the stereos from Sears, the car stereos, every fucking

blah, punk they had. Did you put the one in the for their for their senior prom? You robbed the Alpine.

You put it in Rousseau's car before that. I've never forget it. You came out of the fucking, what was it? I did two guys down there,

or Kmart. You had the Alpine in the box with the speakers and everything. That's how you started the day. We need cash. How are we going to make some cash?

And we walk in a store like a team, and each of us would get one. So that's three, $200 stereos. We're going to get 300. That's an eight ball. That's $250

and $10 a piece. How did you get the back in 1982? It was a lot of money. That was a lot of money. A lot of money. A ball was $250 on a hundred and thirty

fifth in Amsterdam. Our goal was to go over there every day for an eight ball. So you had to come up with 250, 250 quick, quickly.

Some days I get a call from somebody going dog. You got a two kit for sale. I heard. How did you turn the stereo into money? It's a car stereo.

Lee, I come to your house and I go, Lee, not for nothing. I sat in your Volkswagen the other day and the stereo sounded like shit. I got a blob punk for sale.

It's 300 new. Give me 150 cash. And you say, fuck yeah, for 300. All those speakers, we used to get the speed. That's how you got your day

started. So now that 250 for the eight ball, that was an investment. You took that 250, you threw a gram on that. Now you sold three of those and you got 300,

plus you got a half gram for me and Joey. And we ran from there. And then there was some guy who wanted an eight ball. So now we take an eight ball, take a gram and a half out,

throw a gram and a half of cut in that motherfucker and give that to him. We just made a gram and a half of pure. Now we got a gram and a half of pure. We're going to throw

another half on it and get 200 out of. So you know what? In a day, we each ended up with 150 cash and we got to snort an eight ball. That was your goal.

That was our mentality. And Rago loved that. Rago loved doing that shit. He loved it. He loved it. I remember one time me and him robbed this fucking dude

that was a cunt and he thought he was cute and went to his house and he had checks and in those days our boy, the Williams was at the fucking bank and I used to steal

the checks and bring him right to the bank. Bam! They could have Jesus Christ on a crutch on those motherfuckers. He cashed him right.

And my boy was fucking cashed. He was down with that car lot down there. Fuck yeah, the car lot, the bank. I remember when

we were at the bank on 70th Street while the checks didn't cash your next door Gilberto was getting a Cuban sandwich and a batito.

Damn my man. Are you fucking getting me or what, dog? Your whole day surrounded around making money for food but the payoff was drugs

and we keep investing the money. So every time you went every time you went to the city you went with somebody else's money.

How much were the drugs worth that you snorted throughout the day? Every time doesn't seem worth it. What do you mean?

We're not going to check. It wasn't going to jail it was just the excitement of dropping the 150 in the A-ball. I remember talking to your cousin one night.

I had gone to buy drugs downtown in Northburg and some guy set up he was a cowboy right next to by Kathy Moran.

Do you know that block we were just talking about when Mike Debbie lived in the rails? Some white kids some white kids some white kids started selling coke

and I remember that I went down there on a Tuesday with somebody and bought the coke and on the way I said that's interesting that window I could climb in

that fucking window and as I was talking to the guy he was telling me that he had a day job he gets home at five this is the best coke he was getting from Cubans

this is 1981 Joey I'll never forget it. What a mistake that was he had a day job and I was in the bar with your cousin on Thursday night

just talking to Darren he had the ice box and just other Cubans you had the ice box you remember that ice box? I said Darren do me a favor pick me up at nine we're going to rob this

I was lying to him guys I swear to my mother I was lying to him I had nowhere to rob I was just getting him to pick me up because we were going to rob somebody and I'll never forget it

I was sleeping on Runny's floor in those days I used to sleep on Runny's floor there were my adopted family and he knocked on the glass go go get up let's go make some money and I went upstairs

brushed my teeth washed my face took a quick shower ran outside and this guy's stated that's how we lived Lee it was a Friday morning

all week was bullshit Monday through Thursday was bullshit I could always borrow a 20 from Lee and a 20 from Joey I could always put it together but Friday it was D-Day everybody wants their money plus you got to have your money

you want to get your dicks up you want to do blow you want to eat quailudes you got to pay for the pipe everybody was doing this shit so what did I do? I tell your cousin let's go down to this guy

we went down by giving that terrace when I grew up I parked and I basically walked like I it's like I thought I never forgot like I get goosebumps

and I ah my god just thinking about that shit right I rang his doorbell I rang his doorbell like I may believe like I didn't know that he was working nobody answered

I went around I opened that window like I told you guys it was wide open it was the window because in those days you had a door that went to your door way

your door was open I climbed to the window he left his door open a fucking drug deal and I ran in I opened up there was nothing nothing

I went in the room where he gate we walked out and sure enough there's a bag of blow in there that had been cut and one that had been cut I took it and on the way out

I saw you know those German flasks yeah for beer for beer the big flasks oh yeah the big giant flasks those Steins you know at those days

I was a thief guys I was a thief I was a thief so a thief knows where people hide shit and for some reason yeah all he had was blow at the house

I wanted his drawers all he had was blow and as I'm walking out something made me catch that German thing with the thing that you pop and it goes back yeah

yeah yeah it's a Steins it's called the Steins I think I went over to it I took that thing out and there was eight hundred dollar bills right now everybody's like

home going Joey eight hundred dollars you're a fucking petty thief yes I was but eight hundred dollars in 1982 was 2400 dollars that was huge

that was huge I remember giving you your fucking cousin four hundred he was crying like in those days your cousin had no money he lived it all

four hundred at the midtown back then that was huge Darren's mother had gotten divorced Darren didn't have a dad you know Darren lived with John

and his mother they didn't have any money for Darren to have ten dollars was a lot I gave him four hundred dollars and I gave him half of that bag of blow

we fucking went out but that was how it was like by twelve o'clock our day was done we had blow we had everything set for the weekend and it got from that

that now we wanted more everybody wanted the kilo guy everybody wanted to break into somebody's house and find four kilos everybody wanted the big score

fucking jewelry you know I only I got a couple of Louis but Louis got a couple of big ones without me he got a he got a couple of ten kilo one time

let him tell his story about the ask him about the story about him and Al were following a guy and all of a sudden the guy made a wrong turn up onto the bridge

all of a sudden they were behind him the guy got nervous he jumped out of the car left it running on the bridge Louis jumped in the car and went bang went into New Jersey

he went back in the trunk there was ten kilos in the trunk ten kilos ask him about it well the same story that will mean your cousin when the guy pulled over

on the west side jumped out he jumped out and fucking he was so nervous cause they were and this guy Al used to have

like a a power like a square the guy made a wrong turn went up on the bridge put it in park and jumped over to railing

and jumped and went on to Henry Hudson Parkway and took off and Louis got into the car jumped in went right into the policy park

got ten kilos I was sick I wasn't there that day I was sick the one time I got the big score in 93 that's when the guy pulled over he didn't pull over on the bridge

he pulled over on Henry Hudson on the highway going downtown sure he was going downtown we stopped him he stopped himself

like by 135 and we noticed him we went and made a U-turn and he was out of the fucking car already he was out of the car those days they were trained

just to run you know I didn't go with him I don't know why I didn't go with him that day I had something to do all of a sudden they told me about it I was fucking

I was sick missing the score like that back then that was a lot of money you remember Tommy had that that one Spanish kid in New York in New York

that he got rid of all the stuff so much his name Alex I think his name was Alex and I was like oh my god they were selling him

for like maybe 15,000 20,000 the key back then real quick real quick it was amazing how everybody was going to get robbed at one point

like everybody I did business with I knew I was going to rob them hello at one point yeah I can did you ever get robbed doing that's a drug dealer

who me I did I got robbed one time what happened did you got robbed no but they clipped me for seven grams

nothing nothing significant nothing like that and I wrote it off to you know me dog you know a thief knows that things are going to go down

if you keep doing it of course they're going to go against you you know listen man I robbed a lot of blow I should be shot and hung

for all the blow I robbed and snorted if I would have been smart I would have fucking sold it I didn't sell oh man a lick of it

that's what we did we were trying to sell it and do it at the time back then you know what I mean four or five guys that were on a team and we got got some small ones

big ones once in a while but nothing that was life changing that we always thought you know hundred keys hundred pounds of weed never got that

you know but it was fun at the time while it lasted he's going to call in I didn't go to jail no every fucking time I talk to you man

I get sentimental I think about your cousin I think about oh man and even lubes lubes we used to get college kids oh my god

we'd sell them coke and then rob the coke back that's a pretty different fucking episode I love you Joey he's going to call in hey I love you Lee Lee I'm going to call back

but I'm going to see you in Vegas baby all right all right I'm definitely going to call back coke thank you so much I love you guys I'm going to eat five on the other bowls five on the

milligrams of peace that night me you Lee and your wife and I'm going to go kill a fucking strawberry shortcake at the sports book I love it I love it

science science love you guys all right buddy thank you bye bye it makes me shit my pants I used to do

I don't fuck around when I tell people that sometimes I feel so weird sitting in a room with Lee because I don't know if Lee really knew like if you could look at a film of my life

from 80 to 85 if anybody would even listen to me it was such a fucking horrible education I'm happy I did it it made me the man I am today Lee this is some scary shit

and then I went to prison and then I still dabbled to 94 and robbing and I would only take calculated risks I always knew you know getting locked up makes you a better criminal

because you learn different things and I did but I knew that if I would have kept on bro and bolder they were going to nail me again it was just a matter of time so I'm very do you have the urge now

to never to go rob somebody never Lee never Lee because it seemed like you were getting like super like like you missed it

not missed it but like it like sometimes when you talk to give people a good story you got to go there yeah and when I go there my heart beats

and I get chills and I feel shitty about myself but I like talking about it because it doesn't make me feel shitty about myself once I talk about it once I write it out that's when I feel really bad

about myself the things I did like that but listen man like I said it wasn't like I was going up to guys like you these people dabbled in drugs I dabbled in drugs everybody knows the fucking cost

when you're dabbling in fucking drugs man everybody knows and if you don't know how is your fucking schooling you know how is your fucking schooling so what happened when they got you no it wasn't like that

I got robbed out of a hotel room one time like that nothing no no sit down no no no oh okay no nothing that exciting no you just learn

you learn the steps Lee you know you learn what to look for what not to look for I know who's coming with bad intentions I know who doesn't have cash you know you just learn

you just learn these little fucking things Lee that's fucked up but you know I did my time I paid my dues I think after I got out of prison I think I did maybe three or four drug rips after that

I never fucked around with it again man and I'm very happy I didn't you know I was telling these guys I think it's time to carry a weapon things are getting bad you know there's a lot of you know last week in San Francisco

it was the shooting that they still have flowers out on the pier anything did you go down there yeah I didn't see anything but do you mean like you want to carry like a pistol at all times do you think that's what I want to do I do not want to carry a pistol

but if you know random acts the chick got shot in Hollywood the chick got shot in San Francisco last week you know this could be one of us

this could be a podcast listener this could be anybody man I get scared Lee without the fucking edibles I get fucking petrified it does seem to be happening a lot

but yeah and for us to be walking around with not leaving a piece you're at a park with your daughter somebody does something I don't want to shoot nobody Lee but protecting yourself

and shooting somebody is two different fucking worlds man knowing you have the ability to protect yourself knowing you know I'm not confident in my fucking I'm no fighter

I can't fly through the air I'm not fucking Johnny Hick what's his name John Wick you know I'm not gonna throw people through the fucking air but you know sometimes I get scared man

it's just a natural reaction yeah but I have a wife and a daughter now just to play like devil's advocate wouldn't you also be then scared like if a lot of people had guns around your wife and daughter

like that's like that's the only thing that scares me is if everyone's gonna start having fucking guns Lee I don't want to take anyone's guns away you tell me the truth as a man you're an educated guy

with what you're reading the papers and what you hear you don't want some type of protection in your car or in your apartment you're there with Paula somebody breaks in they want to do something

you're telling me I got the money you put two fucking holes in I mean what if what if Lee you know what man things could happen I don't advocate guns I've told you for 20 years

that they're the worst luck for me see that's what I was gonna say like we were talking about it earlier I don't know if I've always heard that guns attract guns and yeah it does get fucking scary and more so I think probably

when you have kids cause I was thinking like how can you send your kid to a public school now and not be a little bit worried but I I try to keep low key and I guess I don't

I don't really think I want to that's a man God has a plan or at least that's what they fucking tell you Buddha the Jew God Hindu they all have a plan and we all have an expiration date

yeah you know we all have and horrible things happen in this life you know and that's why I get bad thoughts just like everybody else man and you pray and you fall asleep

or whatever the fuck it is I do get more protective like if I'm with Paula sure you do like that you love her yeah so like I can see

before mercy what do you thought about wanting a gun with just you and Terry I mentioned at the Terry a few times we live in an area that we're just three blocks away from life brother yeah

we're a couple blocks away from life and sometimes bad life goes into good life and there's nothing you could fucking do there's nothing you could do but you know what man if you got robbed and you didn't have protection and you got robbed

and you did have protection how would you feel how would you feel I mean Lee I don't want you just I'm not gonna give you a gun and you take it home and put it on your pillow I mean that once a week you go with the Agostino

and go to the ranch and shoot and get comfortable with the gun and you get pretty good at it and you clean it every three days or doesn't jam up on you and you're not a bad guy

you've never had a bad intention in your heart but what if Lee what if we're at the comedy store one night you've been thinking that we're at the comedy store and shoot out in Seuss and I'm there with you and I gotta cover you

and I got no fucking gun what would you do what would you feel like that you didn't have you know just a little situation I'm not saying I'm gonna go buy a gun tomorrow morning Lee say that what I'm saying is that

I don't know I get these thoughts from time to time just like every fucking American does just like every fucking American does every Canadian does you know at one time something happens and it hits close to home

if you wake up tomorrow morning at eight in the morning and somebody got robbed on Laurel Canyon and been through how would you feel that they were going to eat at 9.15 at night that could be you and Paul

yeah they totally could okay so you know and Red Band got robbed gun I know in Burbank California the home of Disney where Disney pays for undercover cops

and helicopters and fucking cameras on every block a black wizard came a black wizard came and robbed them you know now I'm not saying you pull the gun on you play Charles Bronson in Death Wish

yeah but I'm saying that at least that fear you know what it feels like to get robbed do you have any idea when something goes down two blocks from you and you're seeing a gun fight

what your heart happens to your heart no and how fear takes over it's a horrible fucking feeling but I know if I got a fucking gun in my strap and that motherfucker comes ten feet close to me on my door

I know I'm gonna fucking unload that thing and I'm gonna catch with one bullet I'm gonna tell my daughter and wife to fucking run in Spanish so the guy don't hate me you follow me

I mean listen I'm just talking nonsense with you I lived in Israel for six months and their solution to it is there's a lot more there's like military everywhere

and I know people are getting upset like there's too much police everywhere and stuff like that so I don't think they would go over here but would that be like another solution the cops and that girl got shot in Hollywood

what girl they just got shot last week oh yeah with a comedian's girlfriend where were the cops when that guy shot that girl they're getting a

bunch of steam right now in San Francisco with us right we got a haul go ahead Lou what's up oh my god we just got off the phone with Joey Felado

Jesus fucking Christ how you doing Lou I was doing alright buddy what about you good did we ever cross paths excuse me did we ever cross cross paths

do I remember you from no I don't think so Joe I left I left New Jersey in July of 85 this last week was my 30th anniversary

and by that time you guys 85 hours 85 hours and they can't okay yeah so I didn't you were more friends with Darren and

Joey and I was more friends with Joey with Joey Joey and David Joey and I and I thought Danny and cause Danny Danny owe the book

make the money and the guy sent me over here to talk to I said a few guys you guys are nice guys you want me to look why don't you come with me on a few things

and you'll be able to make the money give this guy his money and get back on your feet and they said alright let's go and the rest is fucking history yeah it's the you know we were so crazy

at that age with the blow and the fucking this and the that that oh my god it was fucking it feels like we had a license to do it I mean it was crazy

we didn't care we used to call it Spender Tuesday for some reason I had a my father introduced me to this DEA agent

and this guy was actually giving us the scores he was bringing us scores and we were doing him in there and it always happened on a Tuesday for some reason

he would call me Monday night and say get your boys meet me over here and we'd go he'd give us search warrants he'd hook us up with

bulletproof vests that said DEA on the front patch we told us to wear jeans and a T-shirt and white sneakers we looked like the

DEA I used to walk in there and I spoke a little Spanish so I was able to you know get over and the people were flipping out

they couldn't believe it I tried a lot I said I don't want you to talk about it I said I'm going to kill you they were flipping out

when did you grow up at? it's Patterson and Wayne Jesus Christ Patterson and Wayne I used to have I went out with a girl from North Bergen that's how I met Joey

oh my god you know you think back of I was telling the podcast on Lee how there's nights you know

I smoke pot and I sit there and I think about the times you could have got shot and how lucky you know how lucky you really fucking are

that a bullet didn't go I got shot I got a coke I got shot oh my god I was I was over there with the DE agent

and he said to me come on we're going to get this guy I go this guy knows us I was seven times we got him he knows me

as soon as he sees me he knows we're not cops I'm going to get shot with this guy I go now listen to me I found this badge I know where the guy is

everything's good we got this so I'm in the truck sleeping in the van it's 5.30 in the morning he picked me up in the half way out I was still in the half way out

I'm sitting there in the van and I'm sleeping and he goes he's gone and around the corner comes the guy

we used to call him Goldfinger because he had both rings on every finger it's your making kid with rings on every finger and he had a Mr. T. Starter kid around his neck so

here comes Goldfinger in the corner he looks in the van he sees me and he goes oh my god turns around walks back around the corner

now I had one eye open so I look at him and I'm saying to myself did he recognize me no too far away he didn't see me

there he turns back around the corner with two guys on each side of him they all got their hands in their shirts and they start firing if we'll have guns and start firing

at the van I put the van in drive push I put the thing in drive ended at them jumped out and I was running behind the van I went to get to a tree

and my knee gave out I got shot I didn't realize I was behind the tree I looked down at my knee I said oh my god I didn't hit and he was blood

but the knee down was all blood so I I said what the hell am I going to do now so I hear him click click he ran out of ammo

so I come out behind the tree with a gun I go get out of the ground only his D.A. guy goes you ain't no fucking cop then he got up

and ran away I got out of here and I said oh my god that one I got I hit a lip out of here so I lifted away I lifted away I hopped over a fence

and behind this building I see Harlem River Drive so I sort of hopped my way down to Harlem River Drive I pulled down a few times through the search and I keep rubbing my leg and I keep rubbing my hair

get my hair out of my eyes put on rubbing my leg and I rubbed my hair I got blood all over my face I don't realize because I'm alone and the guy

the D.A. agent my father told me was a killer he's had the killer cop he'll be there for you for everything he jumped in a van and drove away he left me there

so I'm coming down the hill I get to Harlem River Drive I hop over the fence and I hear the cops coming I hear the sirens coming I go uh oh I gotta get ready this gun is bad

I throw it in the east river I'll sit down on a guard rail two minutes later there was like six cops there and they get up get over here I go maybe you're not looking real good

I've been shot I got shot in the leg I can't get over there they kick me up don't meet a squad car and they take me to Harlem hospital two blocks away and I'm in the Harlem hospital

and uh they're like oh my god you guys shot they must have cooked you were a cop I go I don't know what happened I was over here to rehab a building

I'm working for one of my father's friends was buying buildings we rehab them and uh when we're done he sells them whatever that's it I go

I was sitting in the van the guy started firing at the van he goes oh they thought you were a cop they make the long story short uh the cops they brought me to a room uh

that they stuck antibiotics in my leg and then they uh they catched me up they gave me a sedative and they sent me to my room they sent me to a room and uh

I climbed off the bed the cops were there I made hope that I was falling asleep they were trying to question me I fell asleep I made me know I was falling asleep they left I crawled out of the

out of the bed got in a wheelchair rolled down the hallway it was like 15 old ladies in line for uh for the phone I said

ladies please I'm a police officer I just got shot I gotta call my house you got my wife now oh no problem they let me run on the phone I got on the phone

I called Joey I said Joey I'm in room 616 get the van get Danny come get me I went back to the room

jumped in the bed closed my eyes when I opened my eyes there's Joey's dead in there I was okay let's get out of here and I was in it well that was like the hotbed

I had uh I had spent my summers I'm a Cuban I used to spend my summers on the 148th and Broadway my stepfather shot a dude with santeria guys and shit

but I became friends with the sedenio family and they had nine Puerto Rican kids and they had nine kids and the one that was my age you know I had I had kept in touch with them

through the years from the time we were 6 to 18 but I saw them once I went over there to cop and you know that was the for people who don't know in the 80s and the 90s

from I think it started like I don't even know Lou 108th street and all the way up on every fucking street somebody sold drugs right or wrong

127th 135th 143 and it's ridiculous how many spots there were I used to love the mom and pop bodegas there I used to go there every week

and eat the food I loved the Cuban Dominican Puerto Rican food I mean that's me I still go to New York City I go to Las Palmas

in New York City and I still go to my wife and I go there all the time I'm in Miami a lot you know for the fights because you know I promote now but

you friends with Vinnie Curdom? I know Vinnie Curdom I know Vinnie Curdom very well Vinnie's out here with me he's fucking nuts I talked to him once a month you know how to tell me I know oh I love him like a brother

in fact I'm going to try to get him back on the podcast but it's so much drama he got to get a ride here he forgets the address he forgets my name ask him what he did ask him to say

hey that's it don't say I said it but ask him what he did where they matched him up with Marvin Aguilar he took off for Florida they sold out the Boston Guard all the wife guys up there

they sold out the Boston Guard they had turtle they sold out the guard and they said oh my god we're going to make a ton of money turtle took off he said I'm not going to fight this guy

he took off and they had to give everybody back their money turtle was in Miami with Angelo Dundee and Chris Dundee and he was fighting down there with the same manager I had

I had my manager's name was Murray Gaby and turtle had the same manager how crazy is the boxing business well you know boxing itself I mean not everybody's a mayweather not everybody's going to

make that kind of money but it's a good stepping stone if you're a good athlete and you know how to use your hands and you have good weight and you're good you know you're good to your body you can make a money

you can make money to make a life for yourself but if you throw in it for a career and you're going to stay there forever and you're going to box until you're 50 or 40 or 50 and you know you're going to start talking to guys

oh oh oh oh so Bell's going to ring you up because the guy's going to start swinging actually but uh it's a great sport I mean look at MMA well but look at MMA

I mean Joe Broke is a great guy but MMA and UFC those guys don't make a quarter a quarter of what boxes make they don't make a quarter of it and who wants to get in there and work and get kicked get punched in the head

get kicked at uh elbowed in the face in the back of the head feet in the chest in the stomach I mean all that stuff for it's a little more than money they get I mean I just don't

I just don't understand it I mean if you can use your hands stand up and box you're making three, four, five times the money why would you do that don't get me wrong

I like MMA I watch it it's a lot of fun I mean you know and they call boxing barbaric I'm like oh you're kidding me right we wear

10 ounce gloves they wear 10 12 ounce gloves heavy weights and they wear 4 ounce gloves let me hit somebody with a 4 ounce glove

a cocoa and I'm 62 years old I'll kill them they will never be they will never get up if I hit somebody with a left hook with a 4 ounce glove

it's over I just got done sparring just now with my client you know Nakafoli's out here too right uh

you know a guy named Nakafoli yeah I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know

I don't know yeah only yet a boxing guy from Boston good guy he's about your age Vietnam dude he's out here

he's at Justin Fortune's gym he's at Justin Fortune's a guy that trains Pacquiao that knew it he was the old strength and conditioning and now he came back

after a Revis or Silver whatever the guy's name was quit or got into the beef with Pacquiao's trainer oh

did you see the fight in Mexico that just happened or in the Philippines with the Mexican politician who had a really oh yeah what happened with that this dude

who apparently had chest implants too paid this chubby intern dude to throw a fight he got like barely tapped and the guy went down it was pretty hysterical

they said they just and even the announcers on it were saying like oh this guy was just done for a favor for somebody he does business with it was crazy what about the Thurman fight did you see the Thurman fight no

I don't watch a lot of boxing anymore Thurman got hit with a body shot and he almost crumbled to achieve his grimace on his face he was really hurting bad he went down he went down to one knee he got up

he got up the referee didn't even count because he got like that cup and he started fighting again and knocked his opponent down 30 seconds later that's what you do when you're in pain yep he's time to go

let's give it his time now it's I gotta go it's funny I've been hearing about you for a long time and you know Danny's I did you know I grew up with those guys and it was I think back to those days

we were like just talking to Joey before you know you get these fucking goosebumps I got anxiety that those people didn't come looking that those people didn't even come looking for us like yeah yeah yeah

he's not he's not sleeping so listen we did so many jobs one night we went to a place called Fuego Fuego and in uh... Fuego Fuego right off the Broadway

Broadway over there in the city it was at Dominican nightclub Fuego Fuego but right the same morning that morning we robbed these Dominicans we got them for like 10 keys and about 80,000 in cash so

we got rid of the stuff and we already got their money we're all going out and bought suits we go out and buy suits in the shoes it was a Tuesday it was a little vinyl clothes we meet we go out with the Fuego Fuego we're in Fuego Fuego in

uh... in the Bronx there or not the Bronx up in Manhattan before the bridge and we're dancing I'm dancing with this Dominican girl and all of a sudden Joey can look and he goes

Louis to your right I look to the right and he goes those are the guys we got this morning they're all sitting at a table I go oh my God

there they are I go wait just come here we'll go over and send the bottle without putting it on to those guys from me point to me so she said okay

she takes the bottle I'm bringing up who's over there puts it on table and point to me they go oh my God there's that cop they ran out of the place

I go Joey goes you are crazy I go look look Joey we never let them not think we're cops

when we leave you make them think we're cops we're giving them a break we're not going to arrest them we're taking their stuff we're not going to arrest them and they'll they'll think that

we're cool I play the cop two times I could never play a cop I was telling Joey I handcuffed twice or three times I handcuffed people

it's horrible the first time I had a handcuffer guy I almost shit my pants I know I farted I know I farted for sure as I was bending over putting the handcuffs on that's a horrible thing to do

they're shaking you got your knee on their leg they're shaking oh it's fucking terrible when I got caught for the kidnapping they're laying down on the ground we used to walk in I used to handcuff everybody

because you know I mean I saw Scarface I ain't looking to get killed everybody down and you know and I love Joey and I love Danny and but they were

they were the little hyper at the time and I told them look guys I don't want I had to give them a gun but I was scared to death to get it to them you know

Joey especially Joey he's a great kid but he'll shoot somebody in a second Joey you got to relax Joe Joe you got to relax well that was the biggest fear that was the biggest fear I had

whenever I had a weapon in my hand Jesus fucking Christ you know and I want to wait for kidnapping and even that day I remember having the weapon in my hand and just dying inside because I knew that something

this gun goes off we were just talking about me buying a gun now you know because the fucking Lou the world's going to shit oh no you got to have a gun you got to keep your family safe

you got to have something and the best weapon is a shotgun cocoa buy a 12 gauge keep it in the house I just want to make sure you go I'm not pro or anti-gun control I don't care what people have

I'm just saying you were asking me if I wanted the gun that's all I don't care what others no no no we were discussing having a gun how I always

at one age Lou I think after I got out for the kidnapping I got rid of all the guns I didn't want anymore I knew that they had brought me just having the gun on me would make my body language different

and people that carry can tell when somebody else is carrying it's a weird energy like that I'm not allowed to own a gun so I'm not worried about it me neither me neither I'm not allowed to own a gun either

I could just have a bazooka with fucking night goggles and shit would you have to like petition them? yeah I'd have to go back to court but it was over my felony was over 10 years ago so I'm okay I can get them a spot

oh then you can get it you can get it both of these is 20 what they call expunged sure you got an expunged and I got a weapon but who wants a weapon on paper? you want to have 92 of them

that are fucking dirty so you can blast them and fucking I don't know who shot them somebody up the corner must have shot them I don't know hit them who was that? Lou I gotta let you go

but I want you to call them again when we have more time brother I definitely will I love you I love you when we're watching for you Friday night on showtime tell them what time

I'll be there I think it's around the fight start at 7 TV's probably going around 9.30 okay we'll be watching for you and cheering for you my brother thank you pal have a good day you too

see a few people just tuned in this was the criminal version of the church of what's happening now we talk about robbing people and fucking handcuffing people and having to go time and getting weapons and shit we don't usually talk about this today

it was just today I got a couple emails two weeks ago and last week about it and it just seemed fucking scary to me that people want to hear about this nonsense you know what I'm saying let me get some shout outs

oh shit it's London thank you Lee I've gone to you in a couple times some somebody twice as smart as I what the fuck Lee what's up buddy

what the fuck that's uh John Wolf G you know I love you Brandy Lynn looking better and better I'm going to see you in a few weeks Daven Christensen

Ali fucking Ali Vaz down in Australia having heard from him you got me worried my man Dante Gazzini always writing this guy writes more letters than the Declaration of Independence

DJ Dorchester Johnny Arch and Jason Monterie I love you cocksuckers what's up with you Lee so you should have gone to Original Joe you're fucked up I respect it

every time you go into San Jose San Francisco you gotta go catch one meal of Original Joe's I got a really really great burrito oh that's fucking fantastic I forget the name of the place but it was a scary neighbor

but it was delicious what type of burrito was it the carne asada you love that carne asada oh yeah and she got like a quesadilla suiza or something like they put like the meat

and stuff inside the quesadilla she's a fucking Christ you went 2,000 miles to eat Mexican food you should have shot in the fucking house I didn't get any weight you didn't go to Original Joe's you had bubblegum

like Ari like that doos and bots who's in that place today he got his eyes fixed today so I gotta call him a little longer if you are ever up there in Mercy would love that place what is a candy

you think I want to give a fucking candy and get a start no they have berries and all that shit what kind of berries everything like real fruit berries or fucking confectionary berries

real no amazing delicious fresh fruit yeah and they got peacocks walking around and they got train rides and so I told oh I thought you went there to get candy you said

I did that's what I got yeah I got yogurt pretzels I love them they're so good but they're so bad for you so you went to San Francisco to get yogurt pretzels

no I got that on the way there you see what I deal with people I also got almonds coming in he didn't go to Original Joe's he got almonds he went on an Italian tour listen who goes on a fucking Italian tour

after all we talk about the last thing I want you to make believe is to walk around like a dunce like a tour yeah holding hands like you take pictures too

yeah oh Jesus Christ what am I going to do with you we walked all the way up Lombard that was hard did you walk all the way that's why you walked even the stairs

did you really yeah no anxiety attacks no that's fine Paul didn't like going down the hill though that was funny

she got kind of nervous so what's she going to do stay up there and fucking yell away who she just walked walked down fucking walked down

this is what I need to talk about right what am I going to do with you a fucking Italian who gave you an Italian tour as a gift Paula why would she do what are you doing with an Italian tour

what are they giving you food yeah what kind of food we went and we got chocolate truffles alright from this really cool place like XOX

something and you go to a different restaurant yeah because I saw houses what the fuck was that picture oh that's the full house houses I watched it as a kid it was cool to see it

are you fucking putting me on right now that was a full house house that you put the picture of right now yeah it's cool you say I got a deal with people and then you people get mad you say you pick only I'm trying to help this mother fucker

I didn't do anything I saw it they're a cool picture thing you wanted a fucking Italian tour that wasn't part of the tour and a picture of a fucking house oh

and then we did the bikes those were fun what bikes did you have your helmet on no I didn't give you helmets and they were putting you on roads with like cars on them

it was the it was the end golden gate bridge part next time you go away I'm gonna fucking have somebody mug you principal just if you see him on a bike just knock him and hurl off the fucking bike

it's over let him fucking sue him and collect the settlement we'll take care of him we'll patch him up an Italian tour what else did they feed you yeah

what kind of food did you eat pizza from this place alright it's really apparently really good I'm waiting it's across the street from original joes alright

we got and then we got pasta from this other place alright and then we got cannolis they were good you had a good time that's all

how many years you've been with her now two look at you when I first met you you had fucking Staminco living with you you were you were asking

she was sleeping now you've been with this beautiful Mexican girl for two years when are you gonna propose this Christmas like a half a fact no when

I kind of want to live with someone before I propose so you're gonna live with her in sin like yeah I think I think it's important to see if we match

living together well what do you think when she comes over is she shit in the bathroom yeah and what's it smell like fine can you live with it

yeah but it's different it's not different that's it they come over they shit you see how they live do they do the dishes

yeah they leave shit out you gotta clean up after it's all those things that matter do you have to fucking tell Andale here you know this is in your fucking nature

to clean get it together here I gotta bring a lady in for 40 hours a week to clean for your fucking ass get up clean this fucking house the vacuum

everything's waiting for you then wouldn't that go well with her well that's the problem then that's the well how you gonna live with her that's not gonna go well with her because she'll want to do the person coming in

no there's no person coming in when a woman lives in the house that's just a natural thing what woman's gonna after you take a shit and you leave that shit thing what woman's gonna leave that in that's your home

no woman that lives in a home listen a man could be a filthy pig a woman ain't got time to be a dirty fucking animal what woman cannot see that what woman if you did something that was there for two days

you're gonna wait for some lady to come in that's what you're trying to tell me what what well a lady comes in what once a week come once in like

every month and a half right so what does this girl do for the other month and a half just let the laundry pile up and everything pile up oh no we do laundry you gotta clean you gotta underlay

mop and get the fucking vacuum and you gotta do the room and the fucking shower curtains and you know there's a much that you could do but if you don't tell them to do it they're never gonna do it then what are you gonna do

you're gonna live around a clean lady men could be fucking filthy pigs women cannot be fucking pigs a woman has to pick up that piece of paper she sees it even if she didn't fucking do it you know what I'm saying or she could tell you to do it

yeah but that's the number one thing that they fucking clean a little everybody's gotta chip in but if you're gonna eat burritos and leave the dish on the table and I gotta pick it up for you I don't want you around

right or wrong yeah I don't want nobody around that don't handle this shit if you're a woman and I go out to fucking I was talking to somebody that day that was going to a divorce

and he said that would bother him the most is when he got home there wasn't dinner mate because how can you live like that your man's out your man's doing shit I don't give a fuck you know

well I've started to think about that man and I just like it's like how how can I like like what if Paula wanted to that'd be great but like

I don't know how to ask someone like to expect like yeah if we're living together you're gonna cook I don't know what the fuck that's what women do whether they can't go to eat out

every fucking night you got listen let me tell you a little story I'm gonna tell you a very important story that irks me every day because I miss this kid more than you'd ever know and after I got it

he used to be friends with this fucking Stamina kid Gavin but Gavin had a half a mom or friend named Keith and I like Keith he came down here to be a comic he used to hum when he think he'd hum

he used to call him the Hummer and he was insecure and he had his insecurities so I'm insecure so I know what it feels like to be insecure and I took a liking to him I loved him

he was a freak but he was the nicest guy in the world and people always took advantage of this fucking guy in fact he like girls stay at his house that he was in love with like they were in a bind and then the girls would move in guys and fuck in front of him

it was horrible the guy was a stepping stone and I never raised my hand I never said anything to him I used to talk to Gavin about it and go you gotta talk to him because I didn't grow up with him you did

you did you have to talk to him you know and we got to lunch man three times a week this kid worked part time and probably made 120 grand a year as a TV installer

fucking smart as a whip man smart as a fucking whip and he had some dirty whores living with him man that he was fucking the ass and take pictures and shit but they would move a boyfriend in for like a month until they got their life together it was fucking horrible

and we talked to him we'd get him high and he'd come to the county store and hang out with me I really liked him I tried to be extra nice to him like if I borrowed money from him I'd pay him back when I told him

he used to lend me money for coke I'd tell him the truth this is for coke and he'd tell me he didn't want to do it but he'd still give it to me and I made sure I always paid him on time because everybody else wouldn't pay him at all I went out of my way to

to not do what everybody else did to this guy and I know that everybody beat on him as a floor mat so I never really said nothing about his personal life even though it bothered the fuck out of me you know me when Nate comes to me

he gets sent on a blind date he gets sent on a blind date with a doctor he's making 120,000, 130,000 a year he lives good he's got every movie on DVD that big screen you go to his house dog Jesus Christ

it's like better than a movie theater or I would go over there and see Heat the shooting scene we'd smoke dope on his balcony and just watch the Heat the shooting scene between me and you I love this guy if I got to say the top ten people

I met in my life I loved him and I wanted everything good for him and he hooked up with it he got put on a blind date and she was a big time doctor and she made two million a year and me and him were tight he was chubby

so him and I used to go eat and I knew what we used to eat and I know what he needed with this guy and I know me and him got along the way we did because we both yucked a lot of foods like we would not even think of eating a lot of food

you know we would not his big thing was almonds he doesn't like almonds no he loved almonds I love almonds almonds is great for you no cancer you know

and I love this motherfucker I love this dude you know but he meets this girl and now he's telling me how he's going to eat like Korean tongue and all this shit and I'm looking at this guy

and I'm looking at him Lee and I can see that he's breaking more and more in front of me with this woman but I'm not saying nothing I fucking hate this chick I don't fucking like her at all

to the point where he proposes to her he's going to marry her I'm like I'm not even going to fucking wedding I booked myself out that week purposely I loved him and I didn't think he was ready

for a wedding and I didn't think that I just knew this wasn't going nowhere I just knew that this was bad well this motherfucker married him and she got pregnant right away and guess what she told him

she goes after I had the kid don't give a fuck about your job I'm not getting up with this kid at night you're getting up with this fucking kid and I gotta get to work you know why? because I make two million a year I don't give a fuck about your job

now even if she didn't have a job she had a job that paid her three quarters of a million dollars a year just overlooking medical papers for civil lawsuits and shit like that

okay seven fifty I go and when he came to me I go don't I could live off seven fifty now she was Korean and she was dirt cheap you want me to talk to you

about dirt cheap hell yeah no TV no cable no air conditioning do they hate fun? bro this was horrible all I needed a house

he'd come to me and tell me this Lee and you know me Lee I'm not going to listen to this what do they do? they would say no no and then I don't know what was going on

I don't know what was going on so one day I just couldn't take when he'd tell me this stuff we would meet three times a week for at least breakfast we'd meet at the IHOP

across from the internet in Hollywood next to the sneaker warehouse there and one day this motherfucker is telling me all this shit he doesn't have a job you know oh and he was the best he had to take care of her mother

Lee they had no air conditioning they had no air conditioning no cable TV no TV at all this kid lived on TV you don't fucking understand he had to watch the kid at night change the diapers

and then watch the kid in the daytime til a nanny came at 2 o'clock then he could work for 3 hours but if the mother needed to take a bath or something he'd have to bathe the mother Lee this was my insides were on fire

and one day I told my friend that was closer with him by this time I had a relationship with the kid and I fucking I think me and Ralphie May talked to him well a week later he stopped talking to Ralphie May

about a week after that he stopped talking to me because we told him Lee you gotta get some type of Lee Keith you gotta get some type of semblance in your life

you have to catch this because it's getting worse you know what he's doing today what she divorced him left him for a doctor and he lives downstairs in the bottom apartment

with another loser buddy of his who's still writing Mrs. Doubtfire too because he was waiting for fucking Robin Williams to do Mrs. Doubtfire too they live in a basement he got his TV

at business going again because he got a nanny for the baby but he pretty much has the baby 24 hours a fucking day and he has to live downstairs and listen to his wife getting fucked by another fucking man he sent me a message a month ago

you know what that message was I should listen to you I'm sorry and I love you I haven't heard back from you I haven't told anybody at all not even my wife I haven't contacted them because that's what happened

I talked to him and he got mad at me he got tick control somewhere if you don't tell this person that you love what you feel what you expect from them

it's not gonna go nowhere it's gonna happen ten years too late do you follow what I'm saying T? you don't have to act like a butcher but you have to stick up for yourself in every relationship if you gotta fucking live with it before you marry it

what the fuck are you marrying her for then? do you want a demo drive or some shit? I guess no she's giving you a demo drive right now yeah well she can't she can't move out and talk to her she graduates anyway

she's gonna have expectations from you and you're gonna have expectations from her that's an every relationship yeah but if you don't raise your fucking hand you know, Juana comes over Mondays and Fridays to watch Mercy when Terry runs errands okay

who do you think cleans the house from Tuesday to Friday you think the dishes just stay there and the kitchen just we do no, yeah, of course, yeah we do, you know you just can't stand the couch and vegetate

everybody gotta kick in here no, no, no, Bob you gotta do dishes and everybody gotta cook cause you can't do 40 a night every night right that's 280 a week 40 a fucking night so somebody's gotta get a cookbook

and somebody's gotta learn how to flip those fucking tacos because if not, what's the use? what's the fucking use? what am I getting fucking married for? you following me? you know a man has to respect a woman and a woman has to respect a man

you know, and they have to make it fit somewhere along the line but you know what? if you don't know how to cook I don't give a fuck you gotta fucking learn you gotta, right or wrong you gotta, you know

hey listen, my mom taught me how to do laundry so whenever I see my baskets filled I pick it up and take it downstairs but I'm not doing my wife's fucking laundry you can be, you follow me? yeah we both kick in but everybody gotta kick in

you just can't sit there and fan and go and I've never been this far into like a relationship before oh, I know you haven't but you have to raise your hand from time to time

and you know, I ain't going for that you know, when I got off the phone with you and you're not gonna believe this I didn't think about the key thing till you told me the other day you took the picture of original Joe's and I said that you're gonna go and you go, I don't know how to sell it to Paul

and right there, I knew you're gonna have to sell it we're going to original Joe's well it doesn't matter because it's the best value in town for the dollar I'm gonna take you to where fucking Dean Martin used to come up here with Sinatra

you wanna take me on some Italian tour with some of these fake motherfuckers that sell focaccio bread now I'm taking you to where it all started right or wrong that's the 40 fucking years they've been there 60 fucking years they've been there

there's no convincing you just go let's go where are we going we're gonna go inside and eat but nothing get sit down there's someone in a chicken parmesan

a french fry something but you gotta eat here you come up here for 50 fucking years you know what I'm saying I'm not a savage every day tonight Terry's having a bad day

till the dryer broke you know, she was at the zoo with the baby and she got the call and then she had to come back and we had to drive one and then we had to all go together and I had to take the baby to the dryer mat

and dry the clothes and you know, so I told her don't worry about nothing we're gonna go fucking eat when I go home I have a short list of where we're gonna go but she's not gonna make me eat something

that I don't fucking like or I don't wanna fucking eat you know, she's gonna go well I'm in the mood for this there's something like a you know what I'm saying but there's sometimes I can't fucking step in there

and you're not gonna have disagreements but you're gonna have boundaries in a relationship okay right or wrong I don't know I'm asking you I don't fucking know

it just like in the old I don't know if it's old I don't know what the the word is relationships the wife cooks and my mom cooked

and her mom cooks and everyone's mom's cooked but it's never been discussed Paula's cooks for me a lot and she does like to cook for me but it isn't like an everyday thing

and I don't I don't wanna have her cook every day but I've also been like if we get married does that how does that revert cause you've talked about it with your first marriage

you said you got like married to get somebody to like do your laundry or something I'm like does that happen and I'm like I don't know how that I was young and I was dumb

well no I didn't know what to expect I've always been the type of guy I don't want no woman looking at my underwear I don't want nobody looking at my underwear right I just snubbed my shoe before

I'm eight feet away from my shoe you think I want somebody washing my socks you follow me so I've always been the type of guy that's very impersonal when I go to a woman's house

when I go to somebody's house let's talk about it when I go to somebody's house when I go to pee if there's a man or woman that lived there and that bathroom isn't impeccable I don't even look

in that fucking face anymore you follow me if I go into your bathroom there's a pair of panties backwards and I see a skid mark on that fucking yellow stain of pee or something that's happened to me I've gone to people's homes

and I've gone to the bathroom to pee and in the bathroom on the floor there's a woman's underwear with a yellow mark and a snatch I won't even touch the crackers I won't even taste a fucking dip because if you don't have the chance

to pick your fucking underwear up what am I going to do there dog I've done it I've gone to people's houses that have had money and I've had to go into that bathroom and I've been in shock that a woman lives there

like the woman puts her fucking hot little pussy on that toilet with pee on it like yellow pee on the fucking thing that anybody would look at that and wipe it down that's what I'm saying at one point do you walk past something I don't know I agree with that

it's just a weird I don't know how you would just go to assuming they do it that's all how does somebody walk past something and see it there how do I'm a firm believer

I don't ever want you to come to my house and see a dish in my set that's the biggest disrespect you could do to somebody is me coming to your house and see six dishes in the same I don't want to see that though and I don't ever want you to come to my house

and me seeing that unless we're just cooking and eating that's just me I'm from the school that you finish a dish you get the fuck up with that dish and you that's me I get up at my dish every night

I don't take it Terry has never brought me a dish or taken a dish unless you're over and she's like bringing in but besides that if you're not over or something I get up and get that food myself

and when I finish I get up I rinse the fucking dish at my house I had to rinse the fucking dish and even if I didn't wash it I had to rinse it to help out the dude or the woman who was washing it

I go to your house to eat tonight with your mother when I was in high school I pick up myself and I put the dish in the sink and I hit it with water and they'll say leave it there and then I leave it there

but I don't know what anybody else was raised that's how I was raised I never did the water thing but yeah I always hit a dish reward really? yeah always

why let the cheese this is easy this is pre soaking I don't know what plans they have for the sink what's that? I don't know what like maybe they want to do something with the sink

I never know where to put the plate where to put the plate yeah but you soak the fucking plate for them you soak it for them if I'm eating if I cook something and it's got a film

I fucking put it in the sink and you soak it for somebody and you hit it with soap with hot water it's very good and now later on when they come in the fucking shit is done

I've been to people's houses and there's a stack of fucking dishes and fruit flies I run out of there mm-hmm yeah you know

but I've always been alone so I've always done all of my cleaning so it's just now that it's getting to be where we are going to move in kind of soon and be like how does it

I just I don't know if it just happens do we talk about it I don't know well next week when she comes over we fucking put some dishes out if she don't pick them up

then you gotta have a talk with her go what the fuck you sat here for two days and then pick that fucking glass up what are you doing with your life right over on when you're when you're showin'

she should come out throw some coffee on for fucking Lee and what the fuck is going on with this house why does this house smell like this oh

he left the dish out you come out you see that she's doin' that you take the vacuum that's what a couple does yeah but I'm gonna see you walk past the dish

18 times with an ice cream cup you left there you better get the fuck up you better check yourself and check who's the fuck the fuck right over on I don't know

I don't fucking know I'm not talkin' about being an animal an animal but you gotta say something somebody's gotta say something she's not messy around my house

no so yeah I don't know I've just been thinkin' about it I wonder what other people know when you wake up and go on the shower does she make your bed

no we don't make the bed you gotta make the bed that's number one who makes the bed that's what somebody on the nach would do gotta make the bed I just fucked in that fucking bed

I'm gonna get in that bed without you know what I'm sayin' right over on I don't know I never care we're yeah you gotta make the bed dog the bed's gotta be made

you're gonna jump into an unmade bed hell yeah oh that's disgusting why cause it's fucking disgusting it is a bed no well let me ask you

do you wipe your ass after your shit every time yes well you gotta do the same thing with the bed it's gotta look nice when you jump in the sheets are fresh you spray some for breeze

in that motherfucker when I get up in the morning after I wash my little monkey and I do the tweets and shit I turn around I put the bed back up I fold it over you move the pillows

you get them nicey nice you live more seriously than I do absolutely you wanna live like a doctor right I have good shoes listen man I've been poor so the two pillows I had

I had to make work all those years yeah so you fuckin' fluff them back to fuck up and you spray some for breeze on those motherfuckers so you can hit that pillow with bad breath all over again

for you fuckin' hours hahahaha relationships are tough man and you have to say something those are disagreements come it's not what you say it's how you say

you can't say you fuckin' animal clean the house you know but you could say you fuckin' animal clean the house in different ways you know what I'm saying anyway

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alright and to my fuckin' goombas from fuckin' West New York, New Jersey my Cubans I love you motherfuckers nailed it life those gummies are mono whether it's the gummies

or the little fuckin' white chocolate patties they gave us last time you're goin' down you understand me you're goin' fuckin' down like Roy McDonald like fuckin' holdin' on to you

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boom and get two free films on the fuckin' cuff for my Iron Dragon TV alright beside that we'll be back Wednesday for our 300 episode

we'll be here 2 o'clock Pacific 5 o'clock East Coast with who? Sadiq I love you guys stay black

have a great fuckin' two days thank you for listenin' to this chipper's tonight it was tremendous will you look at me put on John Lennon let's get this party started alright

we're doin' it huh we're doin' it buddy we're doin' what? put it to shape you can't even fuckin' talk you over there mumblin' and stumblin' and shit

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and East Coast Joey's to get 20% off the premier favorite pen on the market oh shit Lee John Lennon's last down it's a fuckin'

got turned on for somebody reminding me of this jam thank you afternoon what am I doing here at all ain't no doubt about it I'm losing you

I'm losing you I'm losing you now somehow the wires have crossed communication lost can't even give you on the telephone just gotta shout about it I'm losing you

I'm losing you here in the valley I'll make a decision I don't know what to do I feel you slipping away I feel you slipping away I'm losing you I'm losing you

well now you say you're not giving up but I remind you all that bad bad bad stuff so what the hell am I supposed to do just for the bad day I have to stop the meeting now to stop the meeting now

oh I'm losing you I'm losing you well well well I know I hurt you then but hell that was way back when well do you still have to carry the cross

drop it don't wanna hear about it I'm losing you I'm losing you don't wanna lose you now well well don't

don't