Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - 3 Years Gone with the Wind | #234 | UNCLE JOEY'S JOINT with JOEY DIAZ
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Let's get this party started. It's Monday morning and I got stuff to do and people to see.
Yeah, Joey's in the game.
Check 1-2. Welcome to Uncle Joey's joint.
What's happening, you bad savages?
It's Monday the 13th of March. The month is rolling right along like I knew it would, you know what I'm saying?
It's a beautiful week to be alive. It's a beautiful day to be alive. We're back.
Mike and I were talking about the weed situation in Jersey.
He went to a weed store last week and the fucking line ended in Philadelphia.
That's how, you know, and it's so weird how the weed is blown up and I'm really happy that the reefer has blown up.
I was telling Mike, I remember when the pharmacy opened up in LA and I refused to go to those places.
I had a dealer. I was stuck with him. You know, I fought to the end, but between the lollipops and the cookies and the cakes, you know, he wasn't a baker.
So I was like, fuck it. Let me go to the pharmacy.
I was like a kid in a fucking candy store. It was phenomenal.
Like I told Mike for about six months and I looked at my credit card statements and I'm like, what the fuck was this?
You know, you went from buying an eight for 50 bucks to spending 220 a day now.
So if I was smoking an eight in two days, I was going down there and dropping 200 just to have an extra eight.
The weed was so far. Every time I went in there, they had ice cream and lip balm.
Can you imagine putting lip balm on and getting fucking high? They had everything at the fucking pharmacy.
But then like I said, I realized how much I was fucking spending.
My wife pulled me aside and she's like, you put five grand on a card in a month and she was hot.
She goes, you're going to fucking pay that back. I paid it back. Everything worked itself out and I had a good time doing it.
And I'm happy that New York has finally been legalized in New York City and it's finally been legalized in New Jersey and all the other spots.
And the weed stores are making money and people have somewhere to go.
But in California right now, the tax on reefer is so fucking high.
Like when people walk into a store and they walk like I told Mike to get in their car, you know, they open up the bag.
Maybe they want to drink the fucking CBD water like I used to get.
And also you see the receipt there and you see that you spent $125 but you dropped 60 in taxes.
And you're like, what the fuck is this?
And you know, when you go to these weed stores now, I mean, I have not been to a weed store yet in Jersey.
They say there's one in Neptune that I'm thinking of stopping in and just saying hello.
But when you go to a weed store, what I'm getting is that they're really packed.
The lines are fucking the ones up north in New Jersey.
It's impossible. You got to be there at 10 in the morning.
You can't have a fucking day job to get weed.
You got to be there all fucking day like getting barbecue in Austin.
It's a three hour experience.
So, but it's, I'm happy, but I'll tell you what's going to happen.
Like in LA right now, when you look at those receipts, you're like $50 in taxes, $54.
Medical, they, I don't know.
There is, there is more of a medical is THC controlled.
Like the THC levels are controlled and I don't know if it's more expensive.
You know, I remember going to Denver and you walked in and then when you walked into the big weed store,
there was like a medical and a recreational side.
And I know that like the recreational side didn't sell at a bull's over a hundred.
I don't know. I know that there's little rules, but you know, it's, it's going to, in LA right now,
people are just going back to the black market.
People buying, I have a friend here that buys pounds from LA and he shows me the links that he gets.
And he gets pretty good weed for 2600 a pound, 2200 a pound, you know, the prices are going down,
but he's, he's, he's a genius because he sells it in joints.
So I told him, I said, you can't like, you can't take a laughing gas and really get the full value of it in joints.
I'll tell you why, because it's that good. It's that fucking good between us.
You don't need a fucking joint. The guava cushion, you don't need a joint of that.
Oh my, the one hitter, the tremendous, you don't need a joint of that.
You'll roll a joint to be cool, but it's, it's, you don't need to join that.
That's the mistake I had when you buy an eighth of pot, especially anything over 25 milligram, 25%, 26%.
It's really bong hit weed. It's really bong hit weed.
You know, for you people who don't know, when you see these rappers with these blunts all day, they're smoking shitty weed.
I'm telling you right now, they buy weed to smoke and they rotate those fucking things.
Listen, I love smoking reefer, but the price is a reefer of fucking, you know, astronomical.
And yeah, it's, listen, right now, like I was saying, some of these kids that are buying weed, these young guys, they never really had a dealer.
They've never really had a dealer. If you were 18 in California, 20 years ago, you never had a dealer.
You walked into a store and that's all you've known since day one.
I always enjoyed the dealer. Like I miss calling the guy like getting paid on a Friday and calling the guy and going, I'll be there at six and you stop and get a 12 pack.
You tell your friends, I'll be over there at seven and you go to, yeah, you go to his house, you buy a fucking eighth.
You take a bong hit, you smoke some, you talk some shit and you get in the car and you fucking drive away and the whole time you're worried that the cops are going to pull you over and shit.
That's getting weed to me. Like that's the fun day again, weed, but life has changed and I fucking get it. Listen, I get it.
I don't listen. I've always loved going to a weed store. I am not going to lie to you motherfuckers and tell you that.
There is no, but me at my age to walk into anything, I don't get excited anymore.
Like, you know, when you fucking have to attend and when you attend, you went to get a hot wheel, you will fucking excited all week.
Like, yeah, that, you know, I get fucking excited when I walk into a weed store.
And especially like, I like the new end ones that are big and everybody comes up to you with the computer, not to buy weed, just to see what they've done with the reefer business.
What to see, what they've, how complicated they've made it.
There was a place now like called House of Pies. Love the place. I love that coconut custard pie.
I went there twice, twice and I walked by there 80 times a fucking week and wouldn't go back in there because I had to go up through a window.
Hi, Mike. How are you? Good. What would you like, Joey? I'd like the coconut custard pie.
Okay, write it down. Now the coconut custard pie would be five feet behind you.
All you had to do is turn around, take it and cut it and give you the coconut custard pie.
No, they had a receipt. They give it to the check. The chick ran into the back to the Mexican and you had to wait 10 minutes for a piece of fucking pie.
Great pie, but I'm not waiting. You just added a job to a job that wasn't needed.
You just added a whole hike to the back. You could have just turned around and cut a slice and put on a fucking dish and give it to me.
I'm not that particular. I don't need a fancy fucking dish or whatever. They didn't even dope it up or anything.
When you go to these high end weed stores, and it happened right in front of my fucking eyes, I was going to the one weed store on Burbank Boulevard.
They were the Russians. They would really take care of me. They were great people. The guy was great to me.
But when it came to high end weed, they were on Ventura Boulevard, i.e. the ice cream shop.
But how I ended up at the ice cream shop was across the street from there. There was a weed store that was phenomenal.
I was a customer there. It was just a minute. I moved to the valley and I loved them.
The girls were hot. The girls were cute. They were sweet. They flirted with you. They fucked around with you.
They gave you deals. They had a punch card. They were fucking. They gave you samples of shit.
They would take you into the back and show you the grow room. And they would do it with anybody.
If you went in there and you're like, this place was great, come on. Let me show you the grow room.
And you'd go back there and be like, again, the kid in the fucking candy store.
You'd be a fat kid locked in a carvel. You know what I'm saying? You're like coconut pistachio mint.
You're like fucking a kid. And that place was tremendous.
I would get there at 10 o'clock. Right when they opened. There was an Asian girl that was married and cool.
She had a kid and we talk all the time about comedy. And she went to the ice house all the time.
It was just going in there. They had juice. I used to go to a place when I first got there that the motherfucker would serve bagels.
He was Jewish, you know, come on. This motherfucker had it down. He was a Russian Jew.
When everybody else was opening at 10, this motherfucker opened at 6.
6 a.m. And you know why? Because the city employees were going in there.
You would see city trucks parked there all getting their fucking bagel and their fucking joint.
Oh my God, it was like one. That's where Miley Cyrus used to go with her brother.
Yeah, that's when Miley would sit outside and the brother would go in and get weed.
There were some phenomenal little spots. But again, I didn't move on because of my loyalty issues.
I moved on because they closed.
It smells like candy. What is that?
It's this strawberry liquid IV. Fucking tremendous. I love this shit.
You know, I wasn't my loyalty issues. It was that people would just go out of fucking business just like that.
Like the Jewish guy, that's why I used to get the banana bread. That was the banana bread place.
She had a cook in the back that made fucking banana bread.
They gave bagels with locks at 7 a.m. and I'm not talking about shitty bagels.
I'm talking about this guy went somewhere in the valley and got bagels and he would get locks.
It was a ploy and it worked for him. He got shut down.
Then there was the Armenians by my house that were fucking tremendous. They got shut down.
The Russians always stayed open. But like I said, the Russians had great filters.
The Russians had great edibles like they had the tubes I used to get and the fucking punch bars and all that shit with the Russians.
That's what I'm talking about now with the Asian girl. One day they just said we're closing for 30 days.
Okay, I can live with that. We're going to renovate. Okay, I can live with that.
And the next thing, you know, I went in after a month and nobody was there except for the manager.
He pulled me aside. He's like, yeah, we got a new owner and he's going 2020 on us and shit.
So they had all computer pads and again, you walk in. Hi, how are you?
Welcome to fucking the green apple. And you're like, what am I looking at?
Okay, you go over here and you go, listen, let me get the strongest shit and she would go, ooh, you know, I don't know if I, you know, you're like, what are you talking about?
No, they became woke. They became very woke and very like, you know, and I'm like, yeah, I want that.
Okay. Do you have payment? Yeah, you have to pay her. She swipes to the card and her computer thing.
And then she gives you like a number and then you sit there and then also number 48 and you go up to the thing and they just give you everything.
You know, but it went from me going up to you going, hey, Mike, you got something good for me and you're going to fuck.
Yeah, hold on. And you taking a basket out with tongues with chopsticks and taking out a bud and putting it down and having like, I just found my magnifying glass.
Yeah, a little Mac, which I don't care about a magnifying glass guys, but I'm telling you that they gave it to you.
Then that all that process got eliminated and they just they already had a jarred and already in the bag.
I was there for that. You know, so that took me fucking for a loop when I went to the same store.
I was buying shit for from a long time and now they're fucking what do you call that shit?
They're already pre-packaging shit. They give you one of those dead fucking pre-rolls and I couldn't take that.
I didn't like that in personal service. I wanted it to be a little smaller and to be able to the ones in New York City now are supposedly huge.
I saw a picture one in Jersey with people with earphones, like people with earphones. I don't know.
I don't know if weed was fucking made to be all this, but you know, guys, we live in a new fucking world.
So we reap what the fuck we sell.
Another thing came to mind this week that I've been thinking about that a lot of people haven't thought about it.
It's the third year since the pandemic.
Today is the 13th of fucking March. The world closed down on the 14th of March and there was official on St. Paddy's Day that year.
Three fucking years, guys. Let me ask you a question. How much has your life changed in three years?
100%
Do you think about it? Think about our lives in three years since the pandemic closed, since the pandemic hit us.
Three fucking years. Everything, everything changed.
The LA scene is no longer. They were all in Austin jumping up and down at the mothership.
You know, I'm not there anymore. You know, there's a bunch of people out there, but that's not what I'm talking about.
How much have you changed? Honestly, since the pandemic, your job, the people you hung out with,
people that moved after the pandemic, your home.
You know, if you really think of like, I had to sit down the other day and bust a newspaper out.
This is the disadvantages of getting high in the afternoon.
That sometimes you smoke pot and it hits you harder than others like in the morning.
I like to smoke pot before I go to the red lights sometime early in the morning, like at 10 to get the sweat going before jujitsu.
And guys, I go in that high and my mind runs away with me, right?
And I was thinking about how much shit has changed in three fucking years in our lives.
People have changed a ton.
Do you still remember being like April 17th a month into it and not knowing what was going to happen?
How much fear we had? Like I was confused.
I didn't know what the fuck was going to happen. Like we're going to be closed for another month.
I started worrying about money. People around me were fucking dying.
Like people around me had no idea what to do.
I didn't know what to do. Nobody knew what the fuck to say.
We were just stuck in our homes, figuring it out for ourselves, getting scared by the minute by fucking ABC Eyewitness News tonight.
Let me tell you something. I have never watched Eyewitness News again.
Since the beginning of that.
Since it was like, I think I have not watched since July of 2020.
I have not watched World News tonight.
Guys, I've been watching World News tonight for 20 fucking years.
Every night, religiously at 630, unless I was working or doing something stupid.
Guys, I have not watched the news again. It was part of me just disconnecting.
There's times I come on here now and I have no idea what to talk about or what's going on in the world.
Because I live my life through 60 minutes and I live my life through Bill Maher on Sunday night.
Just a little bit. That's the most politics I could take anyway.
And that's the most type of chit chat on that subject I could take.
But fucking, I told my wife during the week I go, I still remember us mumbling, leaving.
And we were leaving for various reasons.
Like I saw things. It was just time. It was just time and we were going to leave anyway.
But I appreciated how my wife did it in two weeks before I could even think of changing my fucking mind.
Because if you know anything about me, I'm a fucking procrastinator.
I knew I had to leave LA since 2017. I knew it was time to go. I was overstaying my welcome.
But you wait. You think something big is going to happen?
And I was telling my wife the other day, I'll never forget how when I told my agents that I was leaving,
how all of a sudden they were handing me the world. What do you mean leaving?
Listen, let's do this. Let's get you on the phone with a fucking, there was nothing going on.
Nobody was doing anything. Nobody was talking. There was maybe five or six comedy clubs open.
People were getting COVID at the comedy clubs already.
And they're calling me, talking to me about fucking, we're going to get you a pitch meeting.
You're going to get a show on TV. And I'm like, I'm like Pat Benatar in 84. It's a little too late, Jack.
It's a little too late. I've been hearing that story for 10 fucking years.
I pitched something, the whole thing. It's time to fucking go. And next thing you know, we're on a plane.
But with all that in mind, I want you to think about how much your life changed. Mike had a day job.
Mike had a day job. Mike, have you ever heard from him again?
Nope. Have they ever called you for your computer?
No.
No.
Think about, he'll probably edit this out in case they're watching.
They're like, Mike, I mean, bro, people just changed. Think how many friends you had that just fucking changed.
Think of how you changed deep down inside. I know I fucking changed a ton without trying, without trying.
You know, you're like, I'm going to stop smoking pot. I'm going to stop eating Chinese food.
You know, that type of shit. I'm going to stop eating pussy. I'm going to stop sniffing underwears, all that shit.
But why?
Everything stopped by itself. There was no focus. There was no like, you changed.
You changed. Just the amount of coffee I was drinking, the amount of sleep I was sleeping, the amount of stress I was going under, which I had no idea about.
You'll read about stress as a silent killer. You don't have a fucking clue about stress until the fucking ship travels.
I didn't know I was stressed out. I had no fucking idea what the hell was going on.
But the pandemic made me fucking petrified, scared, and it opened my eyes.
It really did. Those first two or three months at home alone, not seeing your fucking friends, talking to Mike and Lee and Steve Simone and you know, what's going on?
Do you need anything? Are you all right like that? You know, we were just trying to take care of each other.
Lee started walking with those fucking dudes. They were dragging them along Ventura Boulevard with mask on. It was a fucking trying time.
Think about this week. I want you to really say to yourself, what the fuck did I do during the pandemic? How scared was I? How scared was I?
I was scared of losing everything for starters. I got to be honest with you guys. I was scared to lose on my wife.
I was really on the brink of losing my wife. No, no, no. I shouldn't say that. I wasn't on the brink of losing my wife.
I was, it was going to end bad if I didn't step away because like for the first three weeks, I just hid from her.
I had no idea what to say to my wife. I had no idea like the first two weeks.
And finally one day I was in the back room and I go, you know what? This is not a time to be isolated from your wife.
This is not a time to be not happy with your significant other. This is not a time for any of this shit. Whether it be your parents, your brother, your sister.
This was not a time we were all so touchy that it was not a time for me and my wife to be at each other at all at any fucking level or anything.
I said to myself, I'm not going to argue with her. I'm not going to give her a hard time. In fact, I'm going to be with her a lot more than I am.
I mean, we were fucking stuck in a goddamn house. I mean, you know, I went for a ride once or twice a day. She went for a ride once or twice a day.
I started riding my bike, you know, I think that's where I changed the most. I looked at my fitness a lot more on my health.
We all really started looking at our fitness and our health. We started looking at our futures. I know I did. I started looking at my future, going, what the fuck are we going to do here?
What the fuck is going on here? You know, I looked at my family and I tell you what, where I improved since the pandemic, I'm going to tell you where I improved so much because you have to take a mental.
You really do have to make a fucking, you have to take like an inventory now and go, what did I learn the last three years? What did I really go through?
I think I became a better husband. It forced me to become a better father. It taught me how to relax again. It taught me how to sit in a chair outside and go.
It's okay. It's okay. I got nowhere to be. And guess what? The world's not going to end if I don't get there. Don't fucking live with it. Now live with it.
We were in a rush from 19 fucking 79 to 2020. I was always in a rush, always in a fucking rush. You know, I did not know how to even work out.
You know, I would go to jujitsu and I'd be thinking about the next activity. I go to the gym and in the middle of gym, I'd be thinking about the next activity.
If I went to do stand up, I wasn't, I wasn't living in the moment anymore. I was, my mind was racing and that's never good. I'm not whining guys. It was great. I had a good time.
You know, we accomplished our goals, but somewhere along the line, I think a lot of people, not just comedians. I think a lot of people gained strength through the pandemic as fucking scary as it was.
Because remember, the only way you get stronger in life is by moving past something. We moved past something fucking pretty, pretty big.
The main question is how are we going to react to the next one? How was this a, was this a fucking prelude? Yeah, was this a prelude to something that's going to happen in the future?
I mean, they're never going to lock us down again. They've now is when they've learned all the fucking damage that the lockdown did the kids to seniors to us are fucking immune systems.
They found this out. So we're never going to get locked down again. But think about if something like this happens again and people are really getting sick again and, you know, we go back into hospitals.
I mean, you know, whatever going to lay flat and nobody's going to be dying on Facebook and all that shit anymore. Nobody turned that into a series.
I was so in shock that nobody went out and said, give me all your Facebook memories and let's do the videos of dying on Facebook.
I thought that was going to be a great sitcom. I really did. You know, come to the hospital. I can't see you, but it was sad.
I'm just trying to make a joke or something stupid, but it's true. I mean, now you have to think about how I'm going to be prepared for the next time something like this happens.
I'm not saying there's going to be another pandemic. I'm not saying that the bats getting out. You know, I'm not saying three years later, it definitely came from the lab.
Who knows where the fucking came from? At the end of the day, it don't fucking matter. It's how we're going to react to the next one from how we, what we learned.
Look, I had more fear than I had ever been in my life looking back at it now. And I'm not ashamed to fucking say it. I developed a fucking fear early on.
You know, listen, man, I listen to white people. I don't listen to anybody when it comes to that type of shit. And I don't know if you guys noticed, I'm not trying to be offensive here or anything, but white people were fucking scared.
And when white people are scared, I'm scared. You follow what I'm saying to you? I don't give a fuck. We were scared. There was a lot of fear going around.
And for some people had gotten to that fucking psyche. And I think at the end of everything, along with the confusion, the fucking withdrawal, just, it was just too much for me.
And I'm happy. Look, look at all the good things that came from the pandemic. Look at all the fuck. There's a lot. My fuck is happy is don't have to go to work no more.
Yeah, or you got better jobs.
You know, your hours are different. Your relationships are different. You know, how you look at everything's different now.
You know, how you look at the holidays, right? You want to, I got to prepare for the fucking holidays. I got to make sure not to get COVID in November.
So I could be able to go to my boogaloo fucking classes in December. You got to live a life a lot fucking differently, man.
But I'm happy that we adjusted. I'm happy that we made it through. But that's food for the thought food for thought this week.
Three fucking years ago, we were going through three fucking. I went through a week of right now. I was going through hell three years ago.
Right now it was Thursday and they would, I was going to leave on a plane.
I had already canceled NIAC two nights in NIAC. I fucking pulled it off.
And then that Friday I was supposed to come to New York City, wait all weekend and shoot the Sopranos on Monday and Tuesday, St.
Patti's and the day afterward and when they fucking called me at six o'clock because Berndtall already, John Berndtall had already negotiated for them to fly us in a private plane.
And I was still fucking petrified. And I'll never forget when I landed, when Monday came, I got the report out of New York about Michael Yo.
Michael Yo had been a bad fucking shape. And I was like, you know, I said a prayer for Michael Yo, but at the same time I was like, that could have been me last week in New York City.
And the fucking freak of that week, I gotta admit to you, you know, I don't know about the Mickey Mantle gene and that New York City got hit hard.
And that week, Bert Kreischer was in New York that whole week and he went to a Nick game. I'll never ever forget this shit.
That motherfucker went to a Nick game and they caught him on the jumbo tron.
Like Wednesday night when the fucking city was petrified, the numbers were going up and he has Bert with a beer that was half full and he went over to somebody like three people poured their beers in there and Bert drank it.
And I'm like, I'm turning this off because that motherfucker is dying right there. That motherfucker is dead and he lived through it.
So Bert really does have the Mickey Mantle gene. I'll tell you what else popped up from this fucking pandemic. That was, that's also great.
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Alright, we're back. Enough of that fucking depressing fucking whatever talk.
I don't know if you guys have been on a different planet this week.
Well, something else happened this week in the music industry that was very sad.
And that's my man. I think his name is, what the fuck was his name?
Yeah, Rossington, whatever. Gary Rossington passed away to some people.
Nobody gave a fuck. He was just another redneck.
To me, no. No, this week I had to reflect on that and go.
Well, that was the last of the original members. That's it.
Those motherfuckers, you know, listen, guys, I love how we throw away, we throw these words away now.
Like, this is history. This is monumental. You know, this is epic.
You know, five of the best comedians on the same bill. This is fucking history.
Will you give me a fucking break? Will you give me a fucking break with your history fucking things?
You know, it's history. LeBron James tickets are going for $7,000.
Are you fucking crazy? I think you can't unless LeBron James falls off the back of the fucking bus, whatever the fuck.
You know, enough already. You know, all these people have this fake history in their mind.
Like, that's historic. You know, you fucking retarded.
You fucking retarded. History is such a thing that's like, you know, nobody gives a fuck at the end of the fucking week.
I'm going to tell you what history was. History is three or four dirty fucking dudes from wherever they were.
Jacksonville, Florida, or I don't know, they were somewhere down there that put together a sound that you'll never duplicate again.
Like it was never done. Like I was sitting there the other day reading about this guy thinking to myself.
So before 1973, nobody did Southern rock. Like nobody did Southern fucking rock.
Like that's what you're trying to tell me. But the rock ability's got to be something in there.
Like rock ability became that, you know, there's got to be different fusions of music that became that.
And then years later now, people argued about whether is it country or country rock or Southern rock.
You know what it was? Let me tell you what Lenitzkin it was. Come here.
They were a force of fucking nature. And guess what? It'll never fucking happen again.
Just like Nirvana will never happen again. And Led Zeppel will never happen again.
And bands like The Rolling Stones or just some band that you might like that had a unique sound.
It's never going to happen again. I was there, guys. I'm not going to tell you that I was jumping up and down
when Lenitzkin at first released that album, where I knew, you know, I was there when they sung Free Bird, you know.
I'm not going to tell you none of that shit. But I still remember the reaction that these motherfucking bands were giving.
I grew up in North Bergen, New Jersey, bitches. And, you know, it's blue collar.
So why the fuck would Southern music be up in blue collarville? You know what I'm saying?
Are you with me motherfuckers? Why the fuck would we be playing Molly Hatchett and the Almond Brothers?
And, you know, the Marshall Tucker band and fucking if you want me to come out and yell at you and go,
I was right there. I loved all those bands. No, I didn't.
But they did have some badass jams and their attitudes were fucking stronger than the rock guys we came up to love.
Molly Hatchett flirting with disaster. Come on, dawg. These bands were fucking Marshall Tucker band.
These guys drank for fucking days. Okay. There was no political correctness. There was no party. There was no showers.
There was nothing. There was fucking syphilis getting fucked in the ass, drinking and playing a fucking banjo.
You ever fucking doubt me? You go on YouTube and you go on, I fucking let it skin it down.
You watched him live from fucking Asbury Park. It's a black and white footage.
You watch these motherfuckers and you're like, and then you go on Showtime or whatever that documentary's on.
Netflix, I think it is about the drummer or whatever.
You know, you go on there and you take a look at that shit and you're like, what the fuck were they doing?
That documentary about the Stones telling them at Nedworth not to walk on the tongue and they went out there and not walked on the tongue, but stepped on the fucking tongue.
God damn it. If that doesn't make you proud to be an American, I don't know what does. They didn't give a fuck.
All these fake people that you see, I don't give a fuck. Guys, they did not give a fuck.
September 77. Go to fucking them from the Oakland Coliseum. Tell me they gave a fuck on that stage.
Tell me they got a memo from somebody. Tell me that. I love you to fucking tell me that.
They didn't give a fuck. That was the 70s. We're playing music. We're catching VD. We're fucking smoking dope. We're drinking and we're going to play all fucking night.
Fuck the union. Fuck the guys that say you got to get off that stage at 1am. It was a different fucking time, guys.
I mean, listen, I would love to tell you that I grew up on the Almond Brothers. No, I didn't. No, I didn't, but I listened to them growing up.
And even then, I was like, this ain't my favorite music, but I got to make a mental note. This shit is fucking interesting.
You know, whipping post and all that shit, live from the Beacon Theater. Very interesting music. You know, you get Molly Hatchet.
Listen, I know Flirting with Disaster or whatever, but they had another album that was fucking tremendous.
You know, I can't remember the name of it right now. What was another album? There was another Southern Rock album that I had at the house that, you know, this ain't the shit you're going to play at a party in North America.
This ain't the shit you're going to hear in a club in New York City, but this is the shit you listen to in your basement when you smoke and dope and you're like, wow, what the fuck is this?
You know, I still remember Eddie telling me a fucking story about Kiss.
How he had to sneak his albums home and put them under his shirt and shit and bring them in the house and listen to them when nobody was home.
Guys, that's all our stories. You know, I feel bad for the youth of America today that they can't bring an album home and put it on a jukebox or whatever.
You know, you got your Traya CDs or whatever the fuck you got. Your iPhone, everything is on iPhone and Spotify.
But just to feel these albums, this is why when I was doing the album on a week on Patreon, I really enjoyed it because I wanted you to feel these albums.
I wanted you to look in the album. You know, when you put a song on Spotify, I hear the song, I hear the guitar licks, I hear the lyrics, I hear the production of it.
It's great. But once I look at the album, I'll understand your band a lot better.
Once I look at the little diagrams that you made in your stupid fucking album and the pictures that you put in there of you or your fucking bummy friend sleeping with dirty feet, I'm not here to criticize it.
I'm just telling us that that was our podcast of you when we were growing up. That was our podcast. You know, there was no internet.
There was cream, there was Rolling Stone, and there was the album. And that five minutes when you just opened the album and read the things and, oh, you know, we want to thank all the Hilton hotels and shit like that.
That was our little podcast. We had to develop a fucking story from what we read in that diagram. They just set out like a thing for you, you know, like with the connected dots and you got to fucking connect them on your own.
So that was what made us tick. So, you know, music has changed a lot. This, I mean, I think they're just a cover band now. And they've been a cover band for like 20 years with the existing members.
I mean, it's not really the brother, the son, the nephew, you know, and it's pretty impressive and shit, but they could go on forever and they're probably going to go on forever.
And I support them going on forever. But in reality, that movement that I experienced growing up, you guys are experiencing something else.
You're experiencing Post Malone and, you know, with his light little fucking philophas and, and, you know, Harry Styles with a dress on. You guys are experiencing that.
And God bless you guys. It's not for me. I got to experience something that was hard, dirty, gritty.
And I mean, you know, when I think of the albums that changed, that molded me into liking music, it's got to be Led Zeppelin too dirty.
It's got to be that one, you know, I can't remember all these albums now. It's got to be those early Sabbath things.
But at the same time, it's got to be two foot a road by Leonard Skinner. It's got to be giving back my bullets because I had given back my bullets before I had two foot a road and any other one of their albums.
I love that fucking album. Give me back my bullets, you know, and then comes to whatever the street survivors, another piece of great fucking work.
Listen, well, people, there was a band a couple years ago that my friend John Hayes, his son was in it, and they had that Marshall Tucker sound.
But I don't think it will ever come back. And I don't think that, you know, right now you have like who's the pretty girl that every Monday morning I got to wake up and she fucking thrilled people with her hot pants on.
She got on stage with Axl Rose and she's great. I'm not saying that she's great.
I forget, you know, there's a lot of female country singers. There's Chris Stapleton. There's a lot of great country people right now.
But that's not Leonard Skinner. That's not Leonard Skinner. And that's not going to be the almond brothers. And I like them jelly roll. I fucking love jelly roll.
The reason I dig jelly roll as much as I do, because his voice reminds me of Greg Allman. He's white, but he sings black and it's not black.
It's his fucking soul that he's throwing out there for you motherfuckers for you to, you know, take a look at and go, okay.
But it's, again, I could lie to you people. You know, I'm depressed about God. I put the picture up of him when I went to sit.
I'm not doing any of that. I'm just letting you know that in reality, it's the end of a fucking era, you know, Ozzie, him.
I mean, I'm looking at these bands that are going out this year. There's a lot of bands that are going out this year that this might be the last time they go out, guys.
I just heard the other day that Kiss is doing Madison Square Garden from December, the final time. Two shows. This is the last, last, last, last, last, last time to let the fucking do that shit.
But now they, and you know what, man? I can't imagine like when this guy went down, I was thinking about Kiss because I had heard it that day.
I think on any Trunks radio show, when I was thinking about the day when Gene Simmons passes, how many people are going to be fucking like just blown away?
And even though Kiss isn't putting out new music or anything like that, they did the damage they had to do, you know, ace freely.
I know that ace freely was at some place in LA two weeks ago and Dean said he missed it and he was pissed off because he won't, you know, ace is tremendous.
But, you know, pretty soon all these guys going to be drying up. I mean, we still got Keith. We still got Mick Jagger.
We still, you know, we still got a lot of great guys, but in reality, they're getting fucking old and they can't hop around like they fucking used to the energy they had.
They're not used to it. So like I said a thousand times, I'm going to go right now as it is so far. I'm going to see somebody I really want to go see.
I want to go see quite right with Mike May 2nd or something like that.
The UFC is going on sale Friday from May 6. I don't even know who's on the card. I just saw, I thought it was Olivera, but it's not.
Yeah, and Newark and Newark. So I don't know if it's a fucking late card. I can't be there.
If they started seven, I'll be there. But at 10 o'clock, I have a rough time with 10 o'clock, especially Saturday nights.
I watched the honeymooners with him this weekend. The fucking guys, I had a great time with her Saturday was a shitty fucking day.
I had plans to go meet my teacher, Mr. Barone, drop off a book on him, maybe go to lunch, but it was just shitty.
They said it was going to rain up north. I was going to snow up north. So I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do?
So I go, you know what? Maybe I'll go see Creed because Creed came out this week.
Guys, I got to get back into the movies. I'm not going to sit here and we can talk shit to you people that the movies suck.
But then again, I'm not getting fucking into them. So I said, you know what? I'm going to get back into going to movies again.
Because my wife told me John Wick 4 is coming out. There's a couple of movies that are coming out.
So she goes, what are you going to movies with? I go, who am I going to go to movies with?
Well, myself. I go down there, I stop at Kings, get some Chinese food and I'm fucking come up.
You know, and she goes, did you ask Mercy? And I'm like, Mercy is not going to want to go see fucking Creed.
She goes, you never know. I ask him, Michael B. Jordan, and he's in Black Panther. She likes all that stuff.
So I go, Mercy, you want to go see Creed with me? She's like, the new Creed? I go, yes.
She goes, yeah, I'll go see it with you. Oh shit. All right. I had to run around. I had to go work out and shit.
I got home. I took a shower. I got dressed. I go, let's get the fuck out of here. We went to Red Robin in East Brunswick.
We went to Red Robin. We had a fucking classic cheeseburger. We went in there, you know, the movie theater was fucking empty.
But this is a 14 movie theater. Like there are 14 movies in this place. So I was a movie theater 10.
There's probably seated 60 people. There's probably 15 people now. We bought a thing of popcorn.
She got nice, nice seats, comfortable. We bought a thing of popcorn. We bought some fucking. She got a Slurpee.
I got a Coke Zero and I watched the fucking movie. It was an Academy Award winner. No, but it was entertaining.
And while I was sitting there, I got to spend time with my daughter and we watched him. We giggled and shit.
Half hour trailers. Two o'clock movie time. Two 30 is when the fucking movie started. Not mad, you know, not mad at all.
But it's just funny that, but I will tell you what I did notice. Movies are back. There's a bunch of good movies coming out.
But they got their step back. They got it back. They got they learned how to work with COVID. They said, fuck it. Good movies are coming out.
One movie is coming out that the guy called me and offered me a day in it, but he offered to me like the week before.
But he called me like today for like next Tuesday. Oh no, for Thursday. It was like Monday he called. He goes, can you be in California on Thursday?
It's a movie called Sweetwater about the New York Knicks and basketball. There's some good fucking movie.
There's a movie about night coming out about Michael Jordan with the whole crew from fucking Goodwill Hunting and, you know, all of America's best.
That new movie, I'm not going to go see it, but Jesus Christ. What's the one with Paul Walker that he died?
Fast and furious.
Fast and furious. It's the last one.
Ten or twelve or something.
Jesus Christ. Those guys made a ton of money. What's his name? Looks fucking old.
Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel.
Yeah. Oh my God. If you think I look old, that motherfucker looks old. But the movie looks okay. Aquaman's in it. You know, that big fucking Mahua.
The other guys in it.
I can't wait to take my son to see Super Mario.
Super Mario's coming out. I think Sebastian's in it.
Yeah.
Sebastian's movies coming out. The fucking machine's coming out. I put the trailer up the other day. So the movies are back.
So I got my little hobby again, going to the movie theater, sitting there with an edible in me and fucking just dreaming.
And that's it, you bad motherfuckers. It's Monday, the 13th of March, a little Monday motivation for you.
And that's it. I ain't laying no claims. I ain't fucking doing dick. It's a beautiful day to be alive.
I'm feeling better. I'm looking better and just food for thought.
Three years ago today or tomorrow, the pandemic shut everything down. How much did you fucking change in those three years?
Stay black. Have a great week and I'll see you cocksuckers next week.
Tip Top Magoo and now for a word from my motherfucking sponsors, Jack.
All right, you bad savages. Thank you very much for taking the airbeat from Uncle Joey today.
Collingtons is in my prayers. But anyway, don't forget this Saturday, the day after the Irish disaster of life.
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Most importantly, I want to thank you savages for having my back.
Stay black. Have a great week and I'll see you next Monday. Tip Top Magoo.
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