Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #301 - Bobby Slayton

Episode Date: July 21, 2015

Bobby Slayton, 40 year veteran comedian joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for five Hit E Cig's for $50 Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by using code word joeydiaz. They are also produce some of the best edibles on the market, Los Gummies Hermanos Recorded live on 07/20/15 Music:  The Distance - Cake Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet Time Waits For No One - Rolling Stones

What can we say? Yeah, it's 304 cocksucker. This podcast is brought to you by on it.com Go to on it.com and use code word church to get 10% off all the great optimization products Like Alphabrain new mood shumtack immune shumtack sport. It's code word church to get 10% off Shows also brought to you by hit e6 Better tasting longer lasting the proof is in the vape when you go to hit e6.com They have e-cigars and e-cigarettes for you use code word joey's church to get five hit e-cigs for $50 That's code word joey's church five hit e-cigs for $50 And go to nailed it at life.com for the premiere

Vapor print on the market for all the oil and wax smokers out there When you use code word joey Diaz, you're going to get 20% off of your order And if you live in california and are looking for some of the best edibles on the market They also make los gumis hermanos delicious They're 250 milligrams and they're going to get the job done nail the life also makes los gumis hermanos Oh, shit, it's lisa. It's birthday Engines pumping and thumping in time the green light flashes the flags go up Churning and burning they yearn for the cup. They deftly maneuver and muscle for rank

July 20th 42 years ago Bruce Lee Church of what's happening now my earphones are out As fast as they can It's a beautiful day to be alive pop suckers Bobby Slate and lisa yat Kick it kick it kick it kick it he go Oh, shit

Oh, shit All alone What's happening cocksucker happy birthday. Thank you very much and thank you to everybody who uh wrote to me How old are you today? I'm 27 20 fucking seven years old. What were you doing when you were 27? You know, could you shut your cell phone off first that do you know who that is? That's the third of my juice circle That's harry scherfe That's the third so see oh, I'm telling you. I'm jewish in spirit. That's by the way an harry scherfeer show

Yo, I got my man bobby slating in studio. I'll call you when I get out. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait This is a jewish fucking reunion here. Ask. Will you ask him a question while I'm here? I'll ask him right now What is it? Ask him why he's never had me on his? How come he's never had you on the storyteller show? Bobby slating All right, he said the showcase on july 18th in the belly room I'll call you when I get out of here cocksucker. No, I'm doing august 18th All right, I'll call you later Bye, buddy. Maybe I should leave my phone on and kiss my wife cause maybe need something from Ralph's on my way home

Maybe she maybe she's fucked up. Well, you know, I walk it out. It's very excited about doing your show And I still am by the way But I you know and by the way, you could not have it in a more In a perfect place for joey d as the cuban. I come in here. You're above a chop chop There were these clandestine little offices next door with the hookers and God knows what people don't do with these offices, but I don't even care. No names. No numbers on the doors I love this here. My sugar. It's a hollywood Babylon. It's a day of the locust This is it. Why listen, we were gonna get a fucking office somewhere. Remember

It was like 1200 a month with a look and a view and then people know who the fuck you and when you're produced So the boy wonders said and you said to me you look when you pull up, uh, you know, there's no parking in front Let me let my previous come out and get you the birthday boy and then he pulls me around back We're going to this gated thing with stolen cars and it really felt like it's getting set up It's like a miami vice thing. It's this fucking tremendous. I give me the full fucking ambiance, bobby slay And then I walk into you give me the shittiest popcorn. I'd pop popcorn That's great. That's great. You like pot if you like pot. This is I'm not a big pot guy or a popcorn Carova makes a medical cannabis fucking white cheddar popcorn

That I'm telling you I haven't eaten another bowl in like a week. I'm fucked up. You know, have you really not? Yes, it's last Wednesday. I don't think I hate it. What have you been doing? I hate smoking dough fucking around You know, it's funny. I know that you know, aria shafir I knew you rogan that you guys love pot you guys love pot the way that when I was in high school I love pot something happened over the years and I've talked to other people. I know bill more loves pot When I was in high school, I think it was 14 years old 1969 That's when I first got turned on to marijuana and it was uh, you know the end of the big hippie era But it was still it's marijuana. I mean, there's like an illicit thing you're 14

And by the time I was 15 or 16, I couldn't get through a day of school God forbid to go to a yankee game or a concert at the academy of music I mean the idea to go to a movie without pot making it through a hole I mean, I would scrape resin remember doing that scrape resin out of a out of a hash pipe I did all that smoke seeds and stems of anything to even simulate getting high and then all of a sudden when I hit my early 20s and blow took over from there and alcohol I mean, I was like those things but for some reason pot, you know, my body started made started make me really paranoid I know everybody you guys smoke it relax. Yeah, I said to get it tight

Think about all my problems with stuff up my sinuses Unlike blow because my body works in mysterious ways. I do a line. I'd relax Maybe it's like riddling for a hyperactive ADD, you know kid But I it would clear my sinuses out it would be the exact opposite what pot should be doing to me Coke did for me So every but once every six months, I decide I'm hanging out with a guy like you or you know I'm in Montreal. I already should fear someone else. Take a hit a pot. Well, maybe maybe this is better pot than what I had Maybe I've changed way like a little kid. Well, I used to hate broccoli and Brussels sprouts

Maybe to be a whole awakening now. I love pot Brussels sprouts and I smoke a joint Or my daughter's boyfriend would come over and I realized that now the pot when we thought we were getting great stuff back in the old day The pig hosts aquapoco gold that's garbage compared to what they're making now So all you need to hit of that shit as you know, and you are fucking fly it fly it fly it man They had aquapoco gold at the weed store where I go Yeah, I go, what is that because it was expensive weed that store right and I go, let me see that It's not like dick

People have no idea had them all red had them all red That was a bit early 70s pay coasts, you know this and then of course tie stick which is steady artists now again I see I don't remember pay coasts. I came around when it was Like, uh, it wasn't a regular weed and then I had a buddy used to get gold weed Right and we paid a nickel bag back then right but for gold we like 20 bucks You paid 20 bucks about a fortune people. Oh my god. That was seedy. Yeah, and you only get like four joints But all right. Did names actually mean something when they were dealers. Yes aquapoco gold

My red was like a reddish brown Weed that fucked you up Yeah, and then you had tie stick Which is a weed that was put on a stick and it was rolled with a twine right and you can smell it from my mother Oh, now pot you can smell from 10 miles away and it's twice as good as that stuff I used to I remember like how the uh, you know you I was like 16 I smoked regular stuff and then a buddy of mine that worked at levy sporting goods used to get

Chocolate to tie weed and we used to call it chocolate traumatized Because it would traumatize really would you forgot shit you lost your money And then I had another I had a teacher in high school Who was in charge of building the sets for plays? Yeah And if you were part of that they gave you 15 credits per school year because you worked on with your hands and built shit It's a lot of credits But at the time that dumb motherfucker was getting orders from people and he would get weeds sent up from hawaii

And again, we were paying five dollars Gold was 20 bucks. This shit was like 35 hours. Right, right, right And it was tremendous, you know the first time I tried the real pharmaceutical stuff and went into one of those places Because as you know, you can't go back there and look at the goods unless you have prescription So a couple years ago two three years ago my wife had shingles, which I hear now is the most painful horrible thing And she tried everything and she tried every kind of painkiller She tried everything everybody recommended. I'll take this and try to hold me a path. They can try the nothing worked So a friend of mine said, listen, you know, I hear if you get some hash oil

They make it kind now a friend of mine had shingles You get this hash oil doesn't get you high because there are different strains of you know for different things Which I still can you get the sativa you get the If they go yeah, I never knew how that worked But I guess it's like how Advil and Esper knows what part of the body to go to Take an old Paul Reiser that I'm doing it. Anyway, so I take her down. She gets a prescription which is so easy to get and So she goes in the guy gives her some oil because you're not gonna get high from this because my wife's like me She doesn't really like what it does to her and she took some of the oil

And just a couple of drops and it didn't really help her much But she got stoned out of her mind for two days and hated it. I go, what a pussy Let me try this stuff and I tried it and you know what I got a little buzz, but it wasn't really I didn't like it at all either. So about a month ago. I'm in Denver, you know, Colorado where anybody could walk in Like you can't do store and go buy something. I said, you know, even though I don't smoke this anymore I gotta go. I gotta go in. I got for old. No, but I gotta get some for old times sake and I went in and I said to the guy Look, I don't really like getting stoned anymore. I explained to him everything I just told you But I hear that there's you know a strain you could buy the indigo whatever indica and I said you can get it

I said I like to relax because I get the metabolism of a hummingbird So for 15 bucks, he goes smoke one of these because you probably don't even need the whole thing It'll relax you. It'll be great So I go back to my hotel and I lit the joint and I took a couple of hits and nothing happened And it took a couple of more hits and I go, well, okay, I'm a little relaxed and and then I thought, you know what? This is not good. This is like my, you know, cutting the hair of samson This is like throwing water on the wicked witch if I start to relax My comedy chops will be gone. You know, I won't I won't get mad at somebody that doesn't make a right turn on the red light

I won't be pissed at people. I would and I and I said, you know what? Vodka will do the same thing. I don't need this shit I should have brought it for you because you probably could next time I come to do your your podcast next year And by the way, let me tell you something else. You would do this for a year here and now you finally have me on No, we talked we talked a couple months ago And you said you were leaving after before the stones we spoke and you said you're leaving for six weeks You leave on wednesday. So yeah, so the other day when I got the call to audition I saw barry leavenson. Well, let me call this guy, but I forgot to tell you on the phone that day

All worked out you were in town, you know, usually you leave on mondays or tuesday. You have a fucked up schedule You know, I'm always here now now that I'm doing so great so far the first 10 minutes. I'll be irregular I've invited myself to become a regular now. Do you have a lot of work now? Bobby? Are you still going out every week? Joey Joey Joey You know It's brutal out there if you're not on television, you know, you know what it's like We've talked about that so many times, you know, and it doesn't matter how funny you are if you're not putting asses into seats You know, and it's tough now because like I'm I just turned 60 years old and yes, I know how great I look

We are your birthday boy. What are you 27? Yeah, you look like you have AIDS and cancer and isola And shingles and you just came back all at once. You look horrible and uh You were born when he was 33 years old. Yeah, yeah, but you imagine that you were born I think I think I just got married at 33. I was 32. My wife is 33 Which in a way seems like a lifetime ago and in a way it seems like yesterday. You know what I mean? You have a 27 year old daughter 27 year old daughter and we married married for 27 28 years coincidence, perhaps, you know, and that was kind of a you know My wife got pregnant and I said she didn't really want to have an abortion and we really want to have a kid

You know, I know it's one of those things where we look I think I said to her Look, we're gonna get married anyway. My we're gonna have a kid someday and abortions are a horrible thing You know, so let's just have the kid, you know, let's just get married and we did it I wish we didn't do it. We had the abortion. I'd be happy right now, but I have to I need a trick. No, but you know things over there. No, it worked out fine. You're very tight with your daughter Uh Not as tight as I used to be, you know, how does it feel not to be as tight now? You know, it's tough You know, I mean you see when your kid grows up

Yeah, I see it now. She's two and a half and she throws me out of her fucking room. Yeah No, she doesn't she does what does she do daddy? You know, you know daddy bye-bye. She'll come get me sit with me make me sit and watch a couple of those fucking halloween It's halloween night not a soul in sight. I hear footsteps. Who's that coming? I watch like 10 of those And then she'll tell you she'll tell me to get up and there's a pillow I lay on She takes the pillow puts it in her fucking crib And she goes daddy bye-bye my wife picks her up and then I come in 10 minutes later

And I ask her for a kiss and sometimes she'll give it to me and sometimes she'll go bye-bye get the fuck out of me Well, that's just the blood. Oh my god. It just eats you up alive But I know other times she comes and gets me by the finger come And she and she as she's pulling me. She goes pull pull You know what I bet you know what I bet you see and it is I don't mean to do material on your show But it did turn it into a bit because it's absolutely true and I see it more than ever I see it all the time. It's when your kid does something Really fucked up your wife for same shit. Where do you think she gets that from?

Where do you think she gets that language from where do you think she gets it? But anytime the kid anybody compliments the kid. Thank you. She got my looks in my brains You the women can't wait to take credit for everything the kid does is right when the kid does something screwed up You know, she's very selfish. Where do you think she gets that from? You know, it's always your fault as a father and it's when the kid does something right You know, I might don't I'm not making this up. I think she had a speeding ticket where she was 16 She had a driver's license for a week. My wife says to me that's from your side of the family I go it's not diabetes. It's it's a speeding ticket. It doesn't run to my family

But they can't wait to put the blame on you, you know for everything and that's somebody Because I remember when I used to go to the house, you were very tight with her You know, I could see that you know her world, you know, she was 20 and she would giggle and we would talk about anything in front of her Yeah, don't you still like that? I mean, that's what a kid I want to talk about anything in front of her I just don't want to go on a daycare and saying suck my dick at this point in three years. Oh, I can't have my daughter saying it You know, my daughter when she was little I would I would let her watch my show but she'd sit in the back room with a babysitter Maybe when she was seven or eight, she could sit by herself with a coloring book

But you know, she'd hear things or she'd sneak out and just listen for a minute and You know, how come mommy's a picture, you know, maybe worse And why do you why I came out use a band from daddy and I heard you say nothing about my but you know what She and then people would say to me, aren't you embarrassed at all? Isn't it sad that your daughter can't see your your act because no not at all because I remember steven spielberg Jurassic park came out as kid was like eight or nine and he said I wouldn't let my kids see the movie You know, just because you have a kid doesn't mean you should be able to let them see whatever you do Because there's certain things that are made for adults

I really don't want her to know I do stand up to she Not I can see that's an embarrassment I don't want her to know there'd be no way for you to like she like if you were gonna be like, okay I have to do something that mercy could watch you'd have to change your entire No, I don't want why would you not I don't want her to know I do stand why why is that just something until she's So she understands what the whole concept is right, you know until she understands the concept and I was you know, bobby slating people like you and I would when we were 10 we were already 20 Right and we right blew you look back and right, you know, I didn't play fucking operation

Right, I tell you my wife played what battleship so I could learn how to play fucking battles Right because at 10 I was running numbers. I didn't have time for fucking battleship, you know, you know I knew what fucking was I knew what sucking was I knew what cocaine was and it was great It was great. No my mother raised me so nobody could pull the blanket on my eyes But it took away my childhood, you know, it's funny because you mentioned you and I and I get You know, and I always seem because people always I'm from I was born in the Bronx But a group of westchester with the rich Jews. Okay. I I gotta say that when I was 10 I wasn't I led a sheltered, you know

You're gonna get bar mitzvah. I'm not not saying I liked any of this, you know Played literally after school by the time I was maybe 16 or 17 because I wasn't a street kid and I wasn't grown up the Bronx and I played on a manicured lawn And I didn't play stickball in the Bronx and I was but you know by the time I was 16 or 17 And when I finally 18 and I moved out to California, I mean it took it took me a while You know, there were a lot of kids a lot of comics if you watch I mean you could tell the guys That came from a background where they did stuff, you know, I didn't do stuff as early as you I wasn't running the numbers at 10, but it was right away from home at 14. I was smoking dope and

You know doing coke at 15. I mean, but not that that makes you into a man But it's going to Yankee Stadium when I was 11. I was on the subway. I was doing stuff But there were a lot of kids and you know and you can see this in certain comedians They didn't have they had the nice childhood and they played college football and they married their high school sweetheart And you know, they didn't smoke dope till they were 30. They still like journey. You know fucking assholes or anything Whatever, I'm just saying you can see the guys that were really the collegiate straight ass No soul in their stand up because they don't have the old soul My daughter was one of those kids that you know, you try to raise them

So by the time she was seven eight years old, she knew who the supreme's were She knew the difference between rotting specter and and and and and and uh, you know, maybe um, you know Darling love not that that makes any difference But when I was seven I was listening to the funny all stars, right when I was seven I was listening to adult fucking music. I would go to kids house and they would listen to the fucking chipmunks And I go what the fuck are you listening to the chipmunks and I go what you don't have James Brown You see, I was listening to that That's why I took a couple extra years to say I gotta get I gotta put that shit behind me

So when I was about 17, I started doing the catch up. I said I gotta get to the Apollo theater in New York You know, I gotta my mother would let me go to Woodstock. I gotta go to try to see Hendricks I gotta make up I was I was listening to the chipmunks at 10 But you also took it to the punchline at eight And that showed her that different world. Oh, absolutely. And that's I'm I'm like some of my wife We were talking and she goes so let me ask you this Would you take mercy to 135th street when she was seven and let her play without her godmother in this tree I don't know. Yeah, you don't know. I don't know right if back in 1973 when everybody connected on the block

Everybody was Puerto Rican and they all worked together. I hate that McFuck. I hate those Jews But at the end of the day your kid played with my kid would play with his kid So we had to like each other So if your kid was walking with my kid, even though I didn't like fucking Jews I still waved at your boy and vice versa. Absolutely. So yeah, 1973 I'd leave mercy and go mercy. I'm picking up the four play with these girls here on the sidewalk I want you to see what a junkie looks like now. You know, you know, you know what, you know I remember Howard started giving me shit when

One reason he never has me back on the show anymore when my daughter got it to show business. Okay, that's the touchy thing that parents Don't I mean if you saw right now that your little girl Was like a Shirley temple, whichever Parents think their kid is if you saw this incredible talent in your little girl And she was tap dancing like Sammy Davis at four and she was singing and Would you and she said daddy, I really want to be an actress Would you let her do it at five six years old? When you take her to an audition and see how it worked out because you know what I did that

I did it and and it worked out fine for me because my daughter You know, you always hear about the the cases of the kids who become These little drug addicts and these old prima donnas and these little Lindsay low hands And they're a fucking train wreck by the time they're 18, but you got to remember something There's hundreds of kids that got it to show biz the Ronnie Howard's or the kids that said, you know what I saved them Money for college. I want to become a doctor or an architect. There's those kids too But it's almost like fourth of July weekend You're only about the people that slipped in the bathtub because they were drunk

We got into a boating accident You know, you hear about the 10,000 people that took a boat out on the lake and had a barbecue and had a nice time I was in bed by 11. It's all it's all about the parents like I've heard stories The college I go to has an LA program out here and they all live in an apartment complex called the oak woods Oh, yeah, that's temporary housing. They all do that. Yeah, so apparently There's just these families of people who go and stay in places like that like temporary housing And they're just taking their kids around from audition to audition if like

It's horrendous I didn't want to be an actor at all But like let's say I did and my parents were my parents out here I wouldn't have been doing been doing coke. I don't think or or I don't think I would have turned into a child star But I think if you're the type of parent who's gonna Upload your kid for six months for pilot season then maybe You know what we saw that a lot when my daughter was little Okay, she had this seemed like she wanted to you know, she was a clown and to show up

If you look at my home movies when I was two I'm doing the twist and pulling down my pants and pushing my brother out of the camera So my father could do the eight millimeter movies So when my daughter was about two or three we got in one of the top agents here in the valley And I knew the woman for a long time and Natasha was very precocious and beautiful My wife takes her on a coke commercial and she got a call back immediately And what's going through my head not not money for me. I'm not one of those parents But not that Jackie, you know Cougan thing

But I'm thinking you know what she'll have money for college She'll she'll have the freedom to do something unlike me who's trapped in this business because I had no money So she went back for the second edition and she grabbed my wife's legs and goes I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. That was the end of it That was the end of it. And I don't know if I ever told the story She's nine years old and Tom Arnold is doing a show on the WB network at Universal Studios and it was uh Jackie No, he had a show called the Tom Arnold show. I think it was the second show and McMahon was on it

Michael Rosenbloom or Michael Rosenberg who went out to play super boy or Lex Luthor in the Superman show Jean Simmons wife. What's her name? She was in it Shannon tweet Anyway, there were two little girls on the show and Natasha would come to the set You know Friday we shoot the show and she'd come to all the tapings And she would love to go to the tapings at Universal Studios And she would hang out with these little girls said daddy. I gotta try this again. I want to be a showbiz I want to be an actress and I said to my wife. Let's give it a try. She's not gonna get anything

She's gonna find out how frustrating this is it'll give her some moral backbone It'll give her you know the rejection whatever and this is a good thing It's a good lesson in life and if she does get something more power to her Let's see what works out and my wife was had some trepidation about this But I took her an audition her third third edition. She gets a 15 animated series called lion hearts with Perry Gilpin and Macy a bill Macy what's the name? Yeah, and she gets that she does the animatic show about a month later She gets a series on abc called brothers keeper. They brought it back for seven auditions because they go wait a second

We can't give this kid. She doesn't have any credits. She doesn't know what she's doing But she was perfect for this party was like was written for my daughter seven auditions And she went back to it for the network. She went for the producer. She read for everybody You know, you know what a grind it can be. It's a fucking ball buster I don't want to put her through this but she she didn't seem like she really cared that much You know what I mean? So she got matured. She had matured. It's a different game She matured and it wasn't a desperation And we weren't those oakwood parents who uprooted the kids from kansas city because you better get this

You might be good. We're gonna go back to kansas. You know, we think she gets it. She gets it She got the part on a series. She became a series regular But this is the kicker when her series got on the tom Arnold show gets cancelled Her show goes in the exact same soundstage at universal studios that the tom Arnold show was now I was only a recurring character So I was on maybe five episodes out of the year So my dressing room was one of those little portable toilets in the parking lot with the with the cleaning women the janitorial supplies And the extras I had to walk a mile and take the fucking tram to get

She because she's a regular on the show A giant parking space adjacent to the set with a shower a parking space with her name on it She's nine now when I'm talking to you about, you know, the fact that she didn't have an attitude She gets a show she's getting whatever a kid's getting back to 10 grand a week which is god knows a lot of money and She didn't tell anybody she went to school and when she was uh, she was a good She went when she they were working She had a teacher on the set and they said your daughter's so nice. She's so kind. She does her homework

She did her lines. She knew and people would say to me. How old your daughter putting showbiz a week But she'd go to school and very few of her friends. She would they knew she was on a show She didn't make a big deal about it. Her friends didn't make a big deal about it. She didn't tell anybody So, I mean if that's the way your kid can go through showbiz Now like I'm better than you my shit doesn't stink, you know, I'm a star There was none of that and if there was I like to think my wife and I would have pulled her from the We're at least stolen her money. Well, I'm gonna tell you my reasons I'm sick and tired of going to anywhere in studio city

Which I'm part in the french I'm gonna explain some to you about studio city residents I'm part in the french. They're white fucking niggas Okay, they're white niggas. There's no money in studio city, but in their mind, you don't like saying white? No, no, no, no, it's a niggapart. Okay, so and I don't mean that that's just an expression And in a year the dragon they called them yellow niggas remember when he goes I can't believe behind our back. They call us yellow niggas So These are people listen when you go to bevelie hills and you go to what's the street?

I gotta go down your block to go to your house there now Oh, well, Beverly Beverly Glenn. Yeah, and you see those houses. That's the money Those are the people that have been directors for 50 fucking years or they're Arabs who moved in and taken Malibu You know charlie sheen's and where the super boy lives, right? You know, you're close to a rogan lips I mean rogan lives up dead and you go down those are people in this town that have money studio city is a place It's very gluten-free People who have been on a cv series. I like I like I like it too. It's very gentile

But here's what I don't like about it extra way that I go to get coffee And there's a woman who pulls up in double parks doesn't let nobody in nobody out in double parks a couple Who's 20 ahead of her? She's in there with her yoga pants. She's talking loud Right, you know and you look at that lady and go her husband's never smacked her in the fucking mouth one time Or called her a fucking cunt. That's why she's acting this way and the husband's probably banging his receptionist in the office He just gives his wife money and tells her yeah, do what the fuck you want because i'm getting my dick sucked anyway I don't like This is why I don't want to tell my daughter what I do. I went to a

Everybody has a weird attitude when their husbands or their dads or somebody is involved in show business You were very lucky because your daughter didn't have that Well, she grew up watching me and my wife and I were always I was always very professional about it and I never maybe because anybody kept me trying to start But they never people are fucking pukes out here. Yeah, they're fucking pukes in studio city So I go to get to an audition on ventura years ago still is there's a thing right here So I love it because it's near my house. It's nothing better than audition in the valley in the valley It's right here. Tell me you're doing the radio show above the chop shop in the valley. I go

This is the best thing ever the valley is the best I'm on ventura boulevard way in studio city way before you hit laura king There's an auditioning place and it's huge. Well, this is a rare day in LA This has to be 15 years ago 10 years ago It's raining cats and dogs now like it's been raining all fucking day. My audition is 415 I walk in there bobby slating the place is fucking packed. All right Oh people are drenched people have nowhere to stand. They got six audition rooms all in the pack You know in the summer you could stand outside. Yeah, but here it's pouring out. You gotta stand inside

I get the shakes. Just listen to it. All of a sudden there's a little girl cute little asian girl Maybe 10 Now here's all these people standing like fucking immigrants getting shipped Somewhere, you know on a ship just standing there staring at each other like a subway in new york in the morning But here's this little girl and her fucking mother With a space Maybe 10 by 8 With all her headshots on the floor

And the mother's going well, you have to pick it and she's like, I don't know and and people are looking and i'm looking at this girl And I don't know who to feel worse for The girl or her mother they both needed a fucking smack, right? Well, it's and this is widely I don't want to when I did kicking it All those moms It was a different game. It wasn't about the kid league It was about the mom on shooting day the fake tits and the fur and how they just moved Yeah, whole-boken and say i'm sorry to interrupt you will be no it's just

And I was thinking about it when bobby I grew up in a town kind kind of like yours And Like the only difference between us is the way we grew up at all like at all So like the kid the same kid there with the mom And you and me and bobby were all the same as like a baby So it's all it's all parenting like I was thinking about it today because I was my mom sent me a bunch of gifts and they're all wrapped inside the box and she called to sing happy birthday. So I was like I was just thinking about what it actually takes to like be a parent

and There are a lot of people like that in studio city and and I think everywhere And I think they don't like that woman probably didn't even realize what she was doing Like she she it never even entered her head. Well, you know what? A lot of these parents lived through their children because they want to be a showbiz That pistol Pete maravid style and when we were kids pistol Pete's father used to beat them and put them in the garage Tie them up if he didn't score tiger wood's father, you know, is it true? I don't know. I mean he made him. I don't he made him play golf

But a lot of parents, you know, who either were athletes or actors But I I don't know how many of them but a lot of them never became anything But you see more of those stage mothers and that's the one thing my wife and I hated I didn't mind taking Natasha to an addition. Teddy usually did it my wife But if she was working I'd be more than happy to take my daughter And I'd wait outside because of those horrible horrible parents who basically, you know, with the people you're talking about Hi, let's get something straight guys. Let's get something very fucking straight because ever since I've had my daughter I've been thinking about this. I don't know if you guys know this. I'm not ashamed to say this

From zero to 15 I lived a small kid Bobby slave. I want you to know that I want you to know that I was born with a silver fucking spoon in my mom. My mom gave me whatever I wanted You killed me born with a silver fish in your mouth. Whatever the fuck it was You know, I was then one once my dad died my mom felt worse for me So whatever I wanted I got right but my mom knew how to turn the heat up Right where other mothers just don't know how to turn the heat up You know, I was at the fucking mall yesterday and I told Lee. This is how mad I was

I called Lee on his fucking birthday and I go Lee. I just saw something that really bothered me And she wasn't mexican. She wasn't russian. She wasn't none. She was fucking white White white white nigger. No, she's white. Just very white. She was a girl. She had to be 17 She had to be tipping the scales Had a mere Three and a quarter. No And this girl had a pretty face But from the waist down, I mean it just

And she turned around and her ass didn't even look like an ass that was fat It looked like a an elephant's ass at the circus like from behind It was just mushed up and her feet were worse than mine and bobby. It's not even funny. She was 17 But in all this appearance, she took the time To get a nose ring That would be like a fucking african in those magazines when we were kids and we work off with the black women from african You know and a parent is and I told somebody and they go your parent can't tell you that anymore If I walked in my my mom would go can I talk to you for a second?

Go take a look at your ass And ask yourself if that fucking horn that you put in your nose is going to help your situation That just makes you cool to attract other people that'll say the horn is fucking cute I was growing up my mom would go can I talk to you for a second? Are you a fucking retard take that thing out of your nose and get your ass to the fucking gym I'm getting rid of all the fucking sodas. I'm getting you know Yeah, but there's two things you got to remember number one is she might not have a mother That was her mother and oh that was that was her mother with her. Oh, okay

They were together on the elevator. Okay, because I broke my heart. That's parenting guys. Yeah, that's preventing parenting You you got to look at your kid and go I got a stomp with the cookies And the soprano seven season didn't the mother tell the kid put the schnapple back in the refrigerator. Yeah, okay You know, this wasn't I don't think this is allowed anymore If there's a way to keep your child Grounded in this business, they don't always listen man, you know, they don't listen to you and you'll find that out You know, they do what they want to do I did what I wanted to do and you did what you wanted to do if your mother said you don't smoke pot anymore lose weight

Whatever a lot of times that's why we'll grow her hair long. I hate your hair like that But you were beetle and you just no I didn't I wasn't allowed to grow my hand either was I I wasn't allowed to have earrings I was not at my you know my mother's world if you put an earring on you were a faggot And in my mother's world since I was an only child and my dad died. This would have been the biggest slap in her face I'm not putting down gay people listen to the show. I'm just telling you in her world She would stress it on a fucking daily Like I will fucking kill you Like I will fucking kill you unless you tell me stories about in Cuba

How gay kids their parents would take them shark hunting and throw them off the boat And I would fucking sit and go. What are you talking about? I told you guys the story about my mom when I put a scarf on In the winter time. I remember living on dog. I grew up on riverside drive Robbie slain then we moved to 205 west 88 street Which is beautiful now and then after 73. No, it's not somebody sent me a picture of twitter Okay on 88 west 88 does it still smells like my dick on that block or something you wrote But then I moved to north bergen, which at that time in 1973 North bergen, new jersey was still considered new york city. That's where people lived when you made money right when you lived in new york

What would you tell the show? Oh, we moved to jersey. Oh my god. We're in north bergen right next to hoe Hoboken was a dump then Jersey city was a no hobo well for Gentiles they drink coffee and they go down there to me I go to hobo and I see what it used to be a beautiful beautiful old school neighborhood Still a couple of great Italian restaurants that will never Ever come back. I've been to 10 million cities in my life

And 10 million towns and the love I used to go to hobo. I get goosebumps I get I I had a place on ninth in washington guys that I fucking ran You understand me and not as a 20 year old not as a gangster as a fucking 10 year old My friend's dad on mr. Big sandwiches They had it since the 50s guy. Don't fucking tell me and we go down there. We'd help him with sheet rock up the hill Because he bought the building the benders bought the building in hoboken in the early 70s You know what that father sold that fork? I can imagine you could just say he bought the whole block in the 70s So his father used to say you want a job come to my fucking place and carry in those days

We used to carry four by eight a sheet rock. They sell it in four by eight sheets We used to carry four by 12 upstairs as 10 year olds in the summer. Mr. Bender would give us 25 fucking bucks But it wasn't even about the 25 bucks. It was about the italian hero. He would make us And while we're eating the sandwich you tell us about growing up with Sinatra And how this is where this guy got shut down the corner. He got three bucks down the corner and he wasn't even italian He was lute-o-weighty Do you understand? Yeah, you know, there's still neighborhoods like that the Bronx I still go back to the Bronx

So I go to New York at least a couple times a year and I go to the Bronx. I have still some favorite pizza places I see the pictures I go to the well, you know, it's born of the east Bronx Bronx Park east right by the Potomacal Gardens and the Bronx Zoo and there's still some really nice neighborhoods to go to Arthur Avenue It's still italian although the Armenians are probably more Armenians than it is But the neighborhood's still there the neighborhood feel and you still have some of the old people whose sons have inherited the little house Remember the movie 29th street with denny yellow You have your little race. You have your little white picket fence. You have your statue up front the virgin Mary Jesus

You have your little lawn It's yours and you hand it down to your kids a lot of the people have moved away from that But I just went out to the west Bronx. I went to uh, Ernie, louis and Ernie's for pizza You still have those neighborhoods, you know, where the cops still live and the firefighters the blue collar people There's still some grandmothers around, you know, still the mob guys whoever's left They still live there their mothers live there their sisters live there And you see not so much a little Italy in new york, but you have that kind of feel the Bronx You know the south Bronx is still shit for the patchy, you know, you still they've never been able to fix that's still shitty

I you know, I haven't been there But I mean there the parts of the Bronx everything's gotten gentrified and things of you know I just went to Harlem with my wife and you know, it's still Harlem There are still blocks and I didn't walk down But there's some of it that a lot of you know gays have moved in white people have moved in upscale blocks Still some great restaurants I say, you know, you know, you know, Clinton at his office here right by the Apollo theater for a long time I heard they changed a lot of places whole broken got flooded so bad after Katrina

There's a lot of people I have to say I have to say I'm sorry Katrina Jesus Christ and that uh, that's a better one It's a new Orleans and he got him in Jersey. I got him in Jersey. That's how bad that Katrina was So a bunch of neighborhoods have opened up that would never in brooklyn Like they say brooklyn is completely different except canarsie is the same right canarsie has not changed. It's a dump And William Burke is to be the most dangerous place in the world when I was a kid, you know In the 50s William Burke and then the Halsey to moved in and now it's all, you know You're lucky if the Nero could afford a place. I remember in the early 90s the haci Jews went to war with the blacks I mean went to war lee war the haci's were like, fuck you. This is our fucking name

But you want to fuck don't get rough cops. We invented fucking rough And they got down there was something going on in new york the cops had a show a couple times Like a street battle. Yeah, the haci's don't fuck around up there. They've been there since jesus left chicago They're not giving up none of that stuff. They don't fight. They're higher italians I was gonna say They're bringing the Puerto Ricans they have diamonds they trade you one of the one of the greatest voice messages I have ever had till this day Was the one you left me on christmas and inviting me to your home wishing me a merry christmas

But you're not probably picking up the phone because probably you're back with your family in the Bronx And some two bedroom two bedroom tenement with 20 Puerto Ricans living there I was listening to this bobby slate and fucking Howard, but no I came out crazy after my mom died You know, I won't I'm not gonna lie to you guys. You just don't become crazy. I had the crazy already in me I just needed a little fucking push But it goes to show you that I went from being a very spoiled kid. I mean all my life. I had a refrigerated I had a I'm sorry. I had an air conditioner in my room

You know, I still I still remember going to my mom and going I want hbl Because the groove tube was coming on and that's it was a groove tube and I told my mom I put it together for a fucking thing It came out. Well, I talked my mom into throwing my step dad out I was the final push that said you gotta get rid of this guy and then she broke his head and then she goes I'm taking your advice. He's gone I know and I did that to take advantage because I had it by the walls I could tell my mom whatever I wanted guys You know, like I said

I got left back in the seventh grade and sophomore year in high school. She still didn't know I had left back I could tell my mom whatever I want. Was that something I was proud of? No, I love my mom. I listen to my mom I respected my mom. She beat the fuck out of me. She spoiled me But like I said, she chased me with a bouncy roll on fire. She gave me with a stick She showed up at my friend's house. I was gonna jump the pool and beat me up. My mom wasn't no, you know No, johnny come later. Yeah, two days ago I called the buddy man. I was looking at the date. It was july 17th. You ever sit there and go something happened july 17th You ever sit there and go, what the fuck happened in my life july 17th? Yeah

And I called my buddy. I go, you know what happened july 17th? I was in love with this girl lisa. I had for three years bobby slain And one day this dumb bitch had a bar. We were just goofing around. I looked and I go, you know, maybe And she looked me straight in the face bobby slain soft molly and said I will never ever date you You're too close of a friend You know what telling me never never never means i'm gonna work extra hard It took me three years And like two weeks after we graduated high school, I finally nailed I got some blow and we went back to a house

And I knew the date I was like this is i'm gonna save this in my mind. This is how crazy I am Wow, because I waited three years to bang her three years. I worked this little onion Three fucking years nova date nothing and one day we were having a conversation. I said, let's go out for dinner She agreed. I took her to piccolissimo The monday night was lobster fried diabolo night for 1695 and fort leah. Are you kidding me or what? You remember that date? I took her to the back of the bigam ten where there used to be a movie theater It was a boat The bigam ten boat you went on and they served your dinner and you sat on the boat

But there was also two movie theaters back there. I saw 48 hours back there. I saw connor movies back there as a kid I took her back there. I had a package I had like an eight ball of blown we were doing a couple lines and we started swapping spitting. I ate a monkey Oh my god, it was tremendous I asked if I could put a coke rock out of monkey and that was like thursday night friday night We went out to dinner somewhere and then saturday went to my buddy of villos house and that's not it finally So let's go back to your place a family had a house down in lbi So I took her back to guttenberg new jersey. It's the it's three blocks in north bergen

It's like the fucking the true story and I gave her a stab and six in the morning. I remember walking home going I cannot Believe that was my first lesson and sticking with something Was giving that girl this time. It's great. You remember the date So here's the beauty of it while i'm talking to him. He goes. How many inspirational stuff He goes, how many parties did you go up my to my house a villo my friend asked me this And I go villos I went to a lot of for he used to throw good parties because he had older brothers Were you the comedian no this kid's his name is steve of villos

Dear friend of mine just when my mother died I hung out with him He used to have a back shed and he had a guitar Bobby slayed in the drum set in the base and he had an amplifier and he had a stereo hooked up to it so we would put on Shattered and not knowing what we do we get all toked up and fucking drinking And it was just a shed that will always go down in my soul when i'm in that casket I'm gonna be thinking about that shed how much no heat. Oh by the way, no heat No heat. That's so east coast. I just no heat just snow on the ground

20 inches of snow with light bulbs beers But the first party I went to was invitation only my freshman year The brothers had saw me at the new barbarian show in april my freshman year I went to see the stones without make jagged stanley clark The watch on the fucking drums the drummer was still there But the bass but ian mcglacken was playing the fucking organs ronnie wood Yeah, ronnie woods and I went to this show and all hell broke loose and on the way out I saw the villa older brothers and they were like look at this fucking guy

He's here with you and the younger villa was there and we all started talking So the brother had this party in like july that was the last that was the first party I got invited to that it was big time to get invited to those especially as a fucking freshman You know there was only four freshmen invited to this party everybody else was seniors So we walk in I didn't do bloating. I smoked dope like an animal. I snorted thc crystal But the brothers were crazy So what they did was they got a garbage can and they put a garbage bag over it And everybody had to bring a bottle and they put everything in there

They put 50 bottles of booze in there whatever it was and they put like two jars of cranberry juice Then they threw a bunch of dead bees in there The flavor they threw like a hundred dead bees in there. I had no fucking idea And you had to drink the punch if you went to the party. I was 14 man. I was not my line. I'm lying to you I was about 15. I don't drink Bobby Slayton. I in those days they used to drink boons from I would split an eight pack between three of us. I was a pot smoker. Yo, yeah Did you eat the bee? Oh, fuck. Yeah, you had to eat the bee that was part of the initiation until the boys

So I fucking drank the like three of those stands guys The next thing you know, I'm getting fucking woken up and I'm on a front lawn I'm an anthony sin sulo's front lawn and I'm getting woken up by this cop named ray on that stuff That when I was in the eighth grade, we used to play basketball and he always wore colored socks And he used to drive me crazy when you have sneakers on and we wear black socks But he was a good basketball player and finally I went off on them in the eighth grade was a cop and I told him Right, you can't keep showing up a fucking colored socks guy You got to wear sweat socks because if something happens and your foot gets cut

You're gonna die because the ink gets in your fucking ink. That's how retarded I was And he's like are you stupid or what? But anyway, he goes. Thank you for reminding me about that. That's a funny joke This is all when I'm 14 about a month later I'm passed on who would wake me up with the cop light spinning ray on that stuff And he picked me up. He goes, what color were the socks? He had black socks. I had a police uniform on he said coca. What's going on with you? I go nothing. I had too much to drink. He goes, come on. Let me give you it was six in the morning guys Six I was supposed to be home at maybe one

And he put me in the cop car and he drove me home He walked me up the stairs. I had puke all over my shirt The whole fucking package he knocked on the door my mom answered and my mom didn't even listen to him My mom said thank you in spanish He just grabbed me by the shirt and the fucking dragged me in and gave me a couple smacks. That was at 15 Do you follow me? So I spoiled as I was bobby slating. Yeah, I still caught a fucking beating from time to time You know my parents The only date I remember when I was that young was friday the 13th. It was april

1972 i'm 17 years old I was selling Coke at high school what I did when I say selling coke not like I'd buy Like what would I buy? I don't even think it would be a full eight ball It might have it might have been an eight ball It might have been three and a half grams and I'd break it up into half grams and It's probably even less. It would probably be I didn't think I even had that kind of money I think I bought small than eight ball at 16th ball

Anyway, I'd buy some coke and remember getting some coke from some guy and instead of returning it to him because it was really Horrible horrible, you know right away. I would do the profits up. I do a half a gram that weekend I go shit. I gotta sell the rest of this because I owed my dealer whatever was a hundred bucks That's a lot of money when you're something hundred fifty bucks, you know, I think I was a bus boy in a restaurant I wasn't making a lot of money I'd piss away all my money gambling at night, you know with the with all the local jews who had money That was you know, they could they were getting allowances of 40 50 bucks. Anyway, so I sell coke to some girl So they're like a 25 dollar package and I knew this stuff was shit. It was garbage

It was like snorting, you know Ajax So the next day she comes back it was, you know, I really need some more and right away They should have set up a red flag. She was a new kid to school I knew they were trying to bust some people I knew the greenberg police department was trying to get me and a few other guys Like an idiot said realizing maybe this new girl it didn't even cross my mind She's a cop, you know, I sell her a 20 dollar little package and she wants another package the next day So I give her another package. I think she calls me up because listen, I got some friends

We're going skiing this weekend. Can we come by your house and get another package? I'll stop right there right there. Yeah, we talking about the other day. They have to make multiple buys Right I was telling you they just don't make one very seldom unless they have evidence on you from something else Are you talking about this about busting you? Yeah to really make a case thick on a hand-to-hand buy A DA will really get you to do two small buys Well, they'll bring away this the first one was just a girl

She brought two other cops along with her. They have to have another cop It was just her it's your word against your word against what they have a tape recorder Yeah, back then it was no I don't think they had we're talking about 1972 It's not like there was mission impossible james bond with had all these wires and stuff So she brought a couple more cops, but like I said like an idiot I should even when even though it's a dumb 17-year-old they should have set up a red flag Right away. You're coming back for more of this crap. How stupid is this bro? And she's a new girl in school. We went to a very small school in westchester

There were 700 people as junior and high school combined 700 people seven through 12th grade So everybody knew each other. Do you know each other everybody knew? I don't know that kid, but now that kid's sister I know the kid's brother everybody. It was a big it wasn't that big of a neighborhood So the fact that she came to my door and knocked on the door and I sell sold her another package So anyway a week or two goes by nothing happens Uh seven o'clock in the morning. It was uh summer spring vacation spring break. We were getting ready friday the 13th We're going the next day my family down to florida for a week, you know to miami full lord of deal seven o'clock in the morning Oh son, I'm walking up out of bed. I see these two guys standing over me

You know, I don't know what's going on. You know, you just wake up, you know I recognize the faces that didn't hit me right away. They were detectives from the green break police department So my mother and father are standing by my bedroom door and the cops started reading me my rights And I have no idea what's going on because it was it was probably a solid two weeks that went by I hadn't done anything it didn't cross my mind, you know that I sold some coke as they're leading me out of the house They said look, we're not going to put you in handcuffs. It's the suburbs, you know We're not going to embarrass you just get you know, let's go Just get in the car as we're walking outside

My mother says to one of the cops. What are you arresting them for and they're selling heroin I've never done heroin. I never sold heroin. So I knew right away. This is bullshit. They got the wrong guy I get in the backseat of the unmarked car and they said to the guys. What is that all about? They said you sold some coke to an undercover officer twice last month, remember? I said, yeah, well, you tell my mother heroin They said we were just trying to shake you up and scare the hell out of you. Meanwhile, they scared my mother So we get to the white planes courthouse. It's not open yet for the arraignment. They said look, we're gonna take you out for coffee You know, you're not gonna they take me to the diner. They said, look, you're a good kid. You try to run away from us

You know, you're fucking dead. I'm not gonna try to run away. So the cops are really great guys You know, they threw me in jail with a couple of black guys with buttholes on their side. Nice guys in the world And I'm freaking out here, you know, because I did sell coke It was literally two weeks before nelson rockerfeller the mandatory drug law in in new york state You know mandatory prison for any kind of drug offense I would have got the prison if you're 17 years old or or younger I turned 18 in a month But 17 or younger you go to fucking jail

So the law hadn't been in effect yet So I get the arraignment my lawyer shows up one of my father's best friends and the jug says to my father's lawyer right away Mike we haven't played golf in weeks right away. I see the jug's best friends with my father with my lawyer Yeah, I've been meaning to call you, you know, they said they you know, anyway, they let they put me out They let me out of probation. I got five years probation. I was a hero in school You know, and I found out who set me up. What am I gonna do? I'm a white jewish kid from the suburb learning how this kid killed But he said he never did it. No felony. No, it's nothing. It was just five years probation See that's why I never did any of that because that would have been me the first person I sold to would have been an undercover cop

So it's just I when he was telling the story, I was just thinking about waking getting woken up Did you get did you ever get busted for drugs when you were? I mean you ever get arrested for drugs? When I do you know when I was on the run for a while, I would stay at these fucked up places in new york And one day I got woken up by detectives coming to arrest me and it was the worst feeling in the world Really? That was a bad feeling. Oh to get woken up by the cops Really?

They came to the station and handcuffed and then they came back. I spent the whole day in there They put me on a lineup Then they realized it wasn't me. It was somebody else in the hotel that made the robbery There was a shorter guy. It wasn't at that time. I was a little built. I'd walk around But when I was a kid My mother got rated twice My mother got rated at the bar one time And how they walk in is it wasn't like squat today with the squat team

And those days 15 cops would raid your bar with shields up and they make it was like it was like a scene The time in jersey was hilarious because it was they rated us December 4th I don't know the year because it was santa barbara's birthday Santa barbara's a huge cuban holiday December 4th then December 17th So you start partying December 3rd At 11 o'clock you start to taking the booze out and laying candles and people do blast and people break down emotionally I prayed to santa barbara in 1954. I like this holiday. I'm gonna celebrate my voyage from cuba and santa barbara came through So now my life is dedicated to santa barbara

And like five and like three two and I was a kid And I would hang my mom would make me go to all the cuban holidays october 8th september 8th september 6th December 4th december 17 big cuban holidays. Do they have names? Yeah, they're all saints. You all have to celebrate them I start celebrating on the 8th of september. That's my big one my personal big one Then then I don't do nothing. I do the 6th and the 8th. You still do it. Fuck. Yeah I still stay up till midnight. And who was say santa barbara? Who was the santa barbara? Is it as uh Is the same patron santa barbara? He's in charge of thunder of thunder of thunder

And he has a fucking sword and he has a fucking horse. What do you think? What is this zoos? He's fucking charged. He's in charge of thunder. He's nuts. He's nuts And you can't kill animals around him because they were going to be head them and a mouse crossed them So there was no there wasn't that's a real guy. That's catholicism in cuba barbara's a man's African Well, but he was also whatever and santa rea. So you do that? Yes. Yes, fucking idiot The chicken head and you and you play soccer with the head of a goat. You have another survey son You just make him We don't kick no fucking goats cock sucker. People hate the jews. We don't hate the jews

Overpriced shitty cigars eating better ones than uh from nicaragua. But anyway, then the big one is the 17th That's st. Lazaro. That's what is he lightning? St. Lazaro is the one cloudy day. Listen to me. St. Lazaro is the one that you cannot St. Lazaro is the one that's look at this is st. Lazaro. He's got you want him around your neck. Yeah, he's the guy that Yeah, make something up your deal. They licked they licked his legs The dogs licked his legs the he had he was a leper and the dogs healed them from the leprosy Really? So that's why you're not allowed to hit dogs around them. It's so it's so We should we worshiping the dogs not this guy. It's so it's so relevant in cuba that they even created like this

subculture of this religion of various different ones, but they're all like when and i'd say michael vick got Sentenced to prison. Right. There was 10 federal prisons. He couldn't go to because there was too many humans there Right, they would have chopped them up. Why is that because they're the dog thing dedicated to fucking st. Lazaro So they have to carry his fucking faith. It's so great. That's hysterical October 8th. September 8th is my big one. That's what miss says. Who's this guy? Wait, wait, wait, wait before you go on. How come you don't have him? How come you don't have him around you now? You have the dog with the leper because it's tough to get him He's been very you can't get you can't get one of him. He's very ambiguous. I gotta go back to the union city

What do you guys feel about the x-men and fantastic for fuck those cock suckers really naturally they're real superheroes What about that man? Thank you a dog licked his the leper's legs and he's a saint. Oh my god So he will give up there like if you have arthritis in cuba We're making friends with cuba this is gonna say bobby's late and will not be the first comic to play in cuba Listen to me. You have arthritis. Yeah, or your back hurts cuba and you can't heal it Right for a year. You wear a purple shirt any color purple on you. You dedicate your life to st. Lazaro Fridays you dedicate your life to helping somebody

You go work with kids or something and then you for a year you dress up in purple And they say your pain goes away. It's very fucking cultural shit every fucking every fucking Uh, nationality has their own, you know, uh, the santa rhea guy that I used to fuck with in LA Was trying to sell me santa rhea like he's like it should take over That's why he should know and one day he showed me a picture of a fucking jew with a chicken They do a ceremony with a chicken. So all different religions use different types of you know, whatever to use whatever We just don't listen. I grew up in that shit. It's not like I could you know, I still have memories Hey, I laughed a lot too when I was a kid. I'm a comedian a lot of times they they get the spirits in front of me

Fucking hilarious and my mom would bust them My mom would bust the mom my mom would go to those things just to bust out the people who would get the spirits in them So if I see a cuban guy dressed in purple and went up to where are you feeling better? Are you feeling okay? Is this helping? We even know what I'm talking about. He'd say, yeah, why do you ask san lazaro, brother? Because we're talking follow that right i'm a following he'll look at you know, hug you and those san lazaro people I don't know what it is, but everybody who's dedicated to that san lazaro thing Has no problem with fucking chopping your head off Of course, but they love puppies there. They're part of that whole fucking

Manly, you know the sopranos had an episode about you couldn't eat pussy But there's a lot of men that believe you can there's a society of men that believe that if you suck a woman's pussy You'll suck a man's dick They don't suck pussy well those people who believe in san lazaro those guys don't eat pussy Really? Yeah, they don't eat pussy So i'm kind of dedicated to san lazaro, but I eat pussy. You know what i'm saying? Where's tony bettack cock suck break this motherfucker bobby slayton's in the house We're gonna get to a little comedy in a second here. Look, what are you doing?

Ready for some popcorn? You need some popcorn? No, i'm good, man. I'm not We're going out to eat cuban food after this, right? Yeah, let's do this lisa. Yeah, it's his birthday lisa Keep that cat up. Keep that cat up your shit away from me. Did you get high? Keep it like this. Did you get high on it? Did I get high? I just 50 more of it Are we still on here white plate? Yeah, I think there's a little cannabis popcorn breaker right here. Pop, yeah He wants lia's to produce it Are we back yet? No, we're still here. We're just taking a quick high break Uh, Joe, I was wondering do you get higher now or when you were a kid?

Like do you even get that high anymore? Not how I used to get in my 20s and when I first moved from jersey to colorado in the early 80s 83 84 That's when I experienced a different type of fucking high. That's when I just I was never a coke guy in the daytime It always fucked up my day really putting listen when you wake up in the morning If you drink a coke, you're gonna be hungry all day Your body crave sugar if you open up if you wake up out of bed And as you're pissing you're thinking of a can of coke and I did it for years. I'm not judging anybody

I did it for years. I think that's why when I blew up to 418 pounds I got it because I was drinking the morning and I opened up on a can of coke. You can't recover from that When you open up when I would do a bump at two in the afternoon It would ruin my day because that means I ain't stopping Oh, you say I can always stop I always use it. I mean I am stopping two o'clock I'm going till two in the morning Really and if I bump into another theme like me and we can we could take this motherfucker till four I used to do that

from 83 to about 97 and you're a big guy and you smoke cigarettes too at that time. Yeah, but I only smoked from 97 To 2007 because that's what I first met you. We were hanging out. I think we worked together You and I were doing some wines not a lot of wines And then you'd be smoking you didn't been drinking because probably because I was drinking, you know, you know You're a cattle. You're a cattle guy. What are you? Oh a little cattle a little goose Belvedere a little Stole if I have to if I was if I'm in miami

If I was at that miami club the whole my fucking room was across the street Right, listen those days I went on the road to get fucked up. There's nothing like knowing For three days, you're gonna go somewhere and you're gonna snort three of those fucking three nights. No, see I didn't do that I just did a little I used it as a tool I I do a couple lines before the lake show sometimes a laughter and then I'd wake up in the morning I'd go to the gym. I try to work out. I'd have my little protein shake. No, I didn't work out. No, I wouldn't I know that No, no, no or these days or any days. No, I still work out now. Are you there? But no, when I first started going on the road, it was 90s Excuse me 97 when I took it serious. I had moved here and I used to go on those fucking

Michigan runs for yonder and I would go everywhere. You know me and those days for 600 bucks. I'd show up 500 bucks You had to do but that's the only way you get better Right, the only way to improve in this is to keep doing fucking going on the road and getting shit You get different defenses thrown at you and you learn how to fucking overcome these defenses and eventually you get money That's how a comic and as bad as the money was it was still better than no money Because I still take gigs now my wife because it's I'd say this is horrible money She was you know, if you're home, you're not making anybody If it pays an electric bill and a water bill 150

I remember four sets a night when you lived in San Francisco and you first started Yeah, you did three sets a night bobbing. No, that was it was much different that you played one club I mean, I it wasn't like LA where you run or new york you go from club to club to club It's San Francisco is different. You play a club for a week or you do a one night or for I know 150 to 500 it was different, you know, it was it wasn't they weren't showcase clubs They were just regular One night San Francisco that was an amazing town of that respect because I hear about guys in new york now who you know You know, they're great comics. They don't make a lot of money. They go. Well, you know, if I play new york

I can make 1200 for a week and I go what they have to do to make that 1200 I mean, uh, last time I played at the Gotham of carolines. I'm playing some club in new york We do our two shows and whoever's opening up for me He said to me I won't see you after the show. I gotta get out of here. I gotta set I go, wait a second. You're not on till midnight. You know, yeah, but then I got two more sets tonight I go, what do you have because I got a set of 12 30 in the village Then I get back up town. I got a 130 set at the comic strip and you know, it's 25 bucks here 50 bucks there and these guys

I mean, it's every night hustling to try to pay their rent Well, couldn't it be like Joe you went on the road and do all those gigs It sounds like you could just move to new york and just do a whole bunch of gigs in one area Like is it how's it well in those days the money for me was a lot different It's like now a comic would die. Let's say you work helium, which I love the club. They don't put up features Very a lot of a lot of clubs don't put those features So you have to sleep on my floor like a fucking animal for a week and I gotta step over and you gotta smell my shit

Oh, you know, when you're a comic you bump into other comics and they let you crash on that couch and it's great, man It's great for a while It's happening and you really get to learn about people and you know People's compassion when you're on the road and you just put it together, man I used to live on those subway veggie and cheese sandwiches I live on those things bobby slating. They gave you listen. They gave you 500 bucks. There was no the only way I flew Is if I had three weeks In that town and I would put the three weeks together in those days. Babbit would give me two weeks at the lab stop

I get fucking one nighter in Pasadena another night in Conroe and another night in Beaumont I put together 600 bucks then but in those days it was all going up my nose I went home with the exact amount I needed for rent and for two days of survival I thought I had to tell yeah, I went home with what I needed for rent that week And two days of survival once I got there. I had to go. I needed a hundred for headshots I had to pay sag. I was section 12. I owed him fucking 146 dollars. It was amazingly, you know, I sit down. I don't hey listen, man For 18 20 years, I fucking starved like everybody else, man Movies and everything you they were hand to mouth

Remember I came when I got here. I was minus 60 When I got that lay in 1997 guys, I was minus 60. I was minus 20 easy in child support I was minus 20 and a fucking attorney fees and I was minus 20 and bills that wouldn't go away Like, you know, American Express went away and discover went away But you know, a lot of those motherfuckers hanging around like aides. They don't go nowhere, you know, they keep coming back Yeah, I had I had I didn't want to go into it But some major financial crap going down a couple years ago after I lost my room in Vegas You know, you get used to living a certain lifestyle, you know, people always say why you're broke. I go I live in LA

That should be enough right there. You know, there's a lot of guys that will move out of LA Which I would love to do. I know the day, but you know what between the travel I need to be near a major airport flying every week, you know, I can't be living in oxnard two hours away from here You know, I can't be living in, you know, the middle of the country, you know My my wife's here. My daughter's here. So it's I can come I kind of made my bed. I'm and you know what as much as I hate LA I want to hate LA the bottom line is when I leave LA I kind of like LA I like coming back here. Where are you gonna go? I do this exactly where am I gonna go to Long Island and do what walk around like a penguin for seven months

You know what and wait till they get hit with another You know, it's it's fun. I go to all these great towns and go god, you know, I'd really love to live here Why would you love to live right now? Well, San Francisco is always always great and right outside of San Francisco is a beautiful town Of mill valley, california. It's a long clay. Have you ever go to mill valley? It's great little restaurants, you know It's very rich in a way. How much expense a very very much, but you know what? It would drive me up a wall I think after six months and I talk about living in Manhattan You know, Manhattan is great If you have Mc Jagger and Jerry Seinfeld Howard Stern money where, you know, it rains a little bit

He had a private play go to Bermuda. It's really hot. You go to house in the Hamptons Yeah, New York City is the greatest place in the world But you know what, you know, I think that after six months of living in new york on a hot day I go, I wish I was in my backyard in my pool on a freezing day I wish I was in my backyard in my pool LA for everything. It's horrible about it. You know, I think about leaving every day Then comes the answer. Where do you go? Where do you go? Where do you go? Where? And if you have an audition, you gotta be there. You gotta go. You gotta, you know, and

Listen, I have five auditions a year. You know, people call me all the time. I don't know what's going on. Well, you're 50 You're 50. You're at that age now where You know, are they gonna put me on a show on a fucking dad? Yeah, if the dad's a criminal or he's been in prison or something It's like, I'm not gonna be a dad on the ybc family fucking show The cubans or the fucking off the boat or fucking none of that. But even if you did you could move back It's not crazy to move back or anything But then also, you know, where I've been the the past couple of years. It's really nice newport like down by like Laguna and stuff

That's right. That's what I wanted to go on the witness You know what I put you bit to my house. Are you fucking are your business is here your business is here I know but you're saying you wanted to move. No, no, no, no. I'm talking about leave somewhere You know, I have two years to make up a decision or for something to happen to keep me here I have a two and a half year old daughter Guys, I'm not sold on raising her here. I'm not sold. So the what raising her here. I'm not sold. Yeah, well I'm not sold. I'm not sold And my wife is 50 50, you know, my wife will do any, you know, it's not that she'll do anything to go back

But listen, let's face it. I got no family out here. I got a couple friends. There's single at comedians You know, she needs her cousins She every time that fucking bubble guppies comes on about the horses She puts a hat on and gets a lasso and gets on a fucking play horse Because she went back to the head on Amazon You get a house back there for 200 grand live like a fucking doctor and fly out of paduca It'd be a tough fucking life change, but that covered That covered ain't nobody gonna drop a bomb on paduca ices airport. You know, you know, it's you live in hell out here

You don't know what's gonna happen at that lax You really don't you really fucking don't That's my main place of fucking business. Is that what I want? Eventually the odds are against you You're gonna go in there when they ever see those suckers you ever go home and somebody calls and goes joy. Where are you? I'm at home one. Oh my god. Thank god. They just closed American Airlines There's a bomb in there and they look at tv and they show a million people waiting outside without that fucking luggage

You can't even abandon and they just shut the freeway because it's a car chase They just shut the other freeway because there's a forest fire. They just it's miserable I would love to live Simple but then again, I don't want it to be raised without seeing Armenians or russians Or I don't want her to fucking be 18 when they go to new york and your brain blows up You know, I don't want it to be sheltered either I wanted to know what it is to be rock and roll to walk home that little black girl next to me the cute basketball girl

That's all county that girl walks from my house to the fucking High school past rep and riverside and think about riverside past marie etc That little girl walks every fucking day. Sometimes I see it and I want to pull over but I feel like a fucking pervert if I ask Right, right. Why can I pull over and ask my neighbor's daughter? They're nice people So You know, you want your daughter to establish that shit. Where's the house? I've never been up there, but it's you know Uh

I don't know. I don't you know, these are places that you sit there and you scratch your fucking head and go Where do I really want to go? I'm very comfortable here. I'm 50 fucking two years old. I'll grow my own weed at this point I'm smoking a shit now I smoke more than anybody I know because this shit doesn't even work on anymore Plusy Be honest if you were going to be a normal person With the amount of weed given to you at shows now you could probably live on it week to week just in between gigs

If you were going to just take it from there and go home with it Like what about like I like I see like vegas for you I've lived everywhere in my mind. Oh vegas is and I read this and in my soul I lived everywhere right now. I want to live some way that If she walks down the corner, I could fucking rest every morning with my you know why I walk mercy to school Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Why because I hate that Nate. I hate walking around there. I know how people fucking drive So I don't rest till my wife calls me and says hey, I'm gonna go to the YMCA. I don't fucking rest

I can't write. I just paste and I just said fucking why sit down. Let me get some exercise So I get some sunshine with the girls. I drop her off now and on the way back. It's fucking tremendous So do you understand one of those fucking dudes, man? I know that evil lurks on every corner And once you know that going in and makes your life a lot fucking easier Yeah, but it's gone to the point. I don't know if there's a city anywhere where there's not going to be evil I just don't I want him in a smaller school, you know Speaking of evil in places to go. Did you hang up that Israeli flag because I was coming in no That's always been up. Oh, it has the respect of fo the flying Jew. That's who bitch. Oh

Is he the fly? Is he the flying Jew the flying Jew? Regular fucking Jew this guy just didn't show up without fucking credentials Did he hang about it to do He did it's mine. That's it. I love that for six months. We've had that since the original podcast That was had always had to be up dog. We represent here. We ain't fucking around We're like the public enemy of the jews. Have you been to israel? I lived there for six months. You did. Yes. Why? uh because they Applied to emerson college and they didn't accept me until the spring semester. So I did my study abroad my freshman year

How'd you like living in israel? Uh, I love it. I loved being there. The area wasn't that I lived in like the desert I lived in brecheva. So it was like so are you a way out there. Yeah, you weren't even in tellabebe No, well, no tellabebe isn't really it's cool, but it's like I love it too. No, right? It's like it could be like new york in like jerusalem We hear more english and spanish and stuff in here. It used to be a lot of nicer too many jews the whole neighborhood's got that hill but There's a lot of jews in israel

Now where's besheva It's like it's way out. It's way out there now. It's like a suburb nice people black people anything There's um, there's a college there where's where I was and then they had actually a lot of like majorians like all the Some of you was telling me they ate ceviche and televieve That wasn't some of the best ceviche they ever had a restaurant from spain. Do they have fish there? Is it a great fish great wine? That's what the kids It was fucking mind-boggling Really good restaurants. Yeah, it's good good and then bordain was there

And they show like people getting bombed like not at the party, but they were eaten That's a different part. Yeah, but now tellabebe was like a party place people go there. Tellabebe's like new york, suano it's like a it's like a I don't know. It's it's it's still there's still like is really stuff there, but it's just really commercial and dendrified and I worked there last year You know, remember I told you I saw the stones there. They were playing that it happens to be the day I day after I get to the stones and playing tellabebe and you got tickets, of course, I got tickets and

And uh, is that lipstick? It's chapstick. Thank you. I know you all fucking katelyn. Yes. I'm just like katelyn I think if I change my sex thing you can still call me bobby. I just do it with an eye I don't have to change my name. I got a girl's name boy's name. You know, I got it It's great having a like bobby or dano or robin but anyway, so I went to israel and uh, leno had been there a few weeks before doing something Then I called him up and he goes, yeah, it's just like the valley, you know, a lot of jews a lot of stores It's like the tour of boulevard and you know, it wasn't quite like that but uh, yeah, it was a cool place and um

You know, that's the war broke out three days after I left I don't know if I had anything to do with that But uh, we played all those little towns like he's talking about they do a tour of here the guy every Lieberman They do one of the nobby Gotta work clean gotta work clean gotta do a half hour and he brings three comics over They've been doing it for about eight nine years and the audiences you think it's gonna be all israelis They're all expats. They're all you know, american jews mostly from new york, boston, chicago Some from scotland. I mean, they're all 99.9 percent maybe more jews and just gotta work clean

They love the jew jokes and uh, it was great. It was quite an interesting experience There's a real big push for people to move over there and I thought about it I'm just terrible with hebro Like I'm terrible learning languages Man, how many years you've been doing comedy now bobby for almost 40 what year did you start 77? How much money was there then a lot of money in comedy, you know what? It's all relative. It's you know, if you were You know, I remember You know, it's all relative, you know people

I get there was always money in show business. I remember you used to read about, you know, buddy hacking or rickles in the 60s making 20 30 40 50 grand a week 20 years of standards. Seriously I'm what my book's almost done. It was actually It's funny. It's called raging bully, which is what my wife name of the fucking cd, too Yeah, well, you know, it was going to be called if you can't laugh at yourself make fun of other people My 40 years in showbiz. Hell. It's too long of a title. Yeah, so I thought raging bully My 40 years in showbiz. Hell and by the way, I've got to call richard louis Because richard has not that he came up with he owns that showbiz. Hell, but he has he always did that whole

You know, it was a show from hell this from hell. So I just want to have his blessings on the title But my career's been fine. You know, I'm not making a ton of dough I've got I've done so many pilots. But as you know, you know, they say they Jerry Seinfeld story that pilot almost didn't go It was a you know, branded article put it on because they had nothing else and And one of the greatest shows in the history of television Seinfeld still would have been a giant star because he was well on his way then but you just don't know what's gonna go What's not gonna go how many great shows and pilots never made it Now how many shit shows do you see on tv? And what the fuck is this on for?

You just know there's no rhyme or reason to it really. How lucky are you? I'm lucky. I mean I'm doing great compared to you too. But you know, uh, You know, you know, yeah, that's something about people in showbiz They're always looking at who's doing better and who's doing you know what it's like somebody said I'm not wearing a name tag. I'm not saying we'd like to try on a size eight and a half You want fries with that? You know, I'll be right back. I got to take my daughter to chemo

My wife's in the hospital, you know, none of that's good. So, you know what? We should like that happens You realize how great you had it. So right now I'm about to go out for dinner get a couple of services. I'm starving by the way We're going for cuban food That's all I've been thinking about for the last half hour is when is he gonna shut up? But when can we go eat outside? I look at you and I'm like fuck 40 years How lucky is that? How many people have quit since you started, you know, why the fucking people have quit? How many people have started with you had a little career tapped out

Bumped into somebody made a million dollars and it's as long as you're stuck with it, Bobby I stuck with it because I had to stick with it because what else was I going to do? You know, I got it a thousand things. Well, I can add a nervous breakdown Right. I couldn't take the road anymore. So I had a slow down But meanwhile the kids are fucking starving. Yeah, I get it. I you know, I remember once reading this article about Ellen DeGeneres and who I like she opened up for me She started out a lot of people opened up for me I have a chapter in my book the chapter is called typhoid Bobby, which is uh, like typhoid Mary who gave typhoid to people

She never had the disease but she gave it to a lot of people typhoid Mary And she was a carrier and I am typhoid Bobby. I never had the fame, but I have the gene everybody I come in contact with except for you It becomes a giant star. I hate jet apatow. Roseanne bar. I had uh, David spade Rob Schneider I had Ray Romano a million gricker john steward a million comics a red geraldo Million great comics opened up for me. They went out to greatness from typhoid Bobby. Where'd you start? I started in san francisco I started in 1977 I started opening for bands and I started, you know, but when you say no, I I kept going because You know, I started when the comedy boom was happening. So I got a lot of work

You know, I was in the right place at the right time and I'm sure people have said this to you How do you get better only to get better is to keep doing it? And it's hard to keep doing it now because you know, you don't if you're lucky If you want to start doing stand-up and you sign up for an open mic night at the improv or the comedy store Or there's some club that has a you want to do your best five minutes. You don't want to start fucking around So when I started out, there was a comedy night every night. I was a host at the punchline I was a house mc So I I didn't see the shows for leno for sign for for George Wallace Michael Keaton kippa daughter

Elaine Boosler So I got a lot of stage time and bill Graham had the old walled off next door and there were bands to open up for There was rake shawls before tops the temptations warren zevon And there were guys like daner carvey robin williams How do you got on to do more committee and there were a lot of guys, you know Remember pollock and daner would open up for poplo cruise to the beach boys to the amphitheater None of that was easy But when the stranglers came to town or the dictators came to town or mink deville or the tubes some new punk rock band

Who are you gonna call the regional ghostbuster call slayton? Nobody's gonna take 50 bucks to open up for that goddamn band. So I'd go open for a band That's why we kind of became the pitbull of comedy because nobody for a band. You never did well I mean, I you I I should say that I would do fine But when you're a young comic, it's not how well you do. It's like riding that mechanical bull How long can you stay on you better start for 15 minutes if you want your 35 dollars I would stay on I do my time and I became better and better and better at doing it You know, I got a little name myself in the bay area

So when they opened up for rake charles or warren zebon, the audience is adults, you know They weren't there to see me But they were they'd listen to you They'd give you a shot and then it opened up for the rock bands And you know, maybe you joined surrogate. It was a little bit tougher So, you know and then you emcee a show opening up for the big shots It got tougher and tougher and then easier and easier because you just had to keep doing it So that's where I cut my shot. I got a lot of stage time as an opening act, you know

I went from house emcee to feature act a headliner and the bay area at the time had a ton Of that we had they had three or four full-time comedy clubs. They had three or four maybe five You know one nighters you can make it to live it and then I realized you can't keep playing the bay area every night You know data carvey and kevin pollock started getting to movies I said I get to get on the road so you go to zany's in chicago Go to the cleven comedy club then hilarities in in in cleveland Then you go to the other punchline in in lana, you know, then a few improv's opened up around the country There weren't that many clubs

But you make a living in the bay area and then you start branch it out to all these clubs And then the comedy boom really hit and there was plenty of work out there, you know for a time You know, there was always four or five comedy clubs in vegas And if you're really clean you open up a frank's and octra share it, you know You've become paul brevenson jerry sinefield and those guys all opened up for those people I couldn't do it because I wasn't clean enough But the point was there was a lot of work for everybody, you know, there were game shows and hosts and sitcoms and A lot of it should pass me by and when you know, it's funny because i'm sure this happened to you when that stuff did come up

You know bobby. I have an addition for you. Well, i'm leaving this morning to the funny bone in columbus You know and you couldn't just put yourself on tape There were no iphones and you couldn't just go down the street to the armedian guy for 20 bucks. Hey, he's got a little You know the av outfit so I go fuck it They'll have to wait till I come back or how many times I can't tell you how many times because I suck at auditions I'd go in I'd be proud of myself into a great audition for a show They want to see you friday Well, they can't see me friday because i'm on the road my manager would go and back then it wasn't that difficult

You can catch a plane from san francisco You can fly right back down and fly back up again So yeah, it sounds really easy hop on a plane and fly down, but even when tickets were cheap I still got to pay 75 dollars to get to the airport. I still get on that plane I got to get to la I got to rent a car I got to fly back I got to hope I make it in time The airport's not closed because of fog and all of a sudden goes me 400 fucking dollars to audition for a part

You're not really right for it And you know what happened with all the traveling and all the movement and all the stress Audition sucks. Exactly. Exactly. I did it three or four times like a pig Never get nose wide open and one day I said i'm not doing this if i'm in town I'm in town one time one time. I got a call As I landed in sacramento right on thursday. I was like, are you fucking serious? But it was for my name is zero And it was friday at 11 o'clock

So you got on a plane went back. Fuck. Yeah, it was perfect for me I cannot miss that i'm going in front of the producers one shot deal How long did you leave the airport? Huh? Did you leave the airport? We mean no, I was I was already in the whole town sacramento. Okay, so I worked thursday night I finished I went in I studied the fucking lines. I cut it up a couple different ways. I didn't do any blow I didn't do any blow that night and I fucking jumped on a plane I like fucking ate in the morning and I flew into burbank and Went that was up here

And I went in there and I you know, I was rested How long ago was that? This had to be 2007 You know, okay. Well now and even back then now you want to do that and you want to get on it by an airline ticket It's like 150 bucks each way. No, it was hard. This was it was like 82 dollars But I already had the plane take it home. So I just changed The I did a fucking tremendous move that time by the way I did a tremendous move

The lady didn't like me at the punchline at the time She didn't fucking like me guys She didn't like anybody. They finally got rid of it. You know that broad that wider. I don't remember There's so many different people who know, right? So she didn't like me. I got up there one time with rogan And she didn't like me. I got up there one time. I'm with a bunch of calm. Oh, there was one woman in second About she's hard. She was horrible hard and I went up there this thursday And I went in there like a man like oh listen, I got a problem tomorrow I got to fly back to LA but she just started going off on me guys

Like what the fuck do you think this is? I hate these hollywood fucking want to be comics. I didn't say nothing I bit my tongue. I didn't say dick. I just said, you know what man? I ain't coming back You weren't making bucky money anyway. No, I was making 100 in the core right right and they wanted to headline me with jean pampa And I'm like, I don't want to do this and you know what happened I fucking get off the fucking plane as I'm getting off the plane. I got a call from rogan Arie had an audition for something and he couldn't take the plane in time to go to san francisco He was doing cops for the weekend And arie had a cancel on friday morning rogan called me goes where you at? He goes i'm in bergen

I go i'm going to audition for my name is erl I went to my name is erl Booked it in a room. I could tell I booked it. They were looking for criminals It was like stealing I went in there booked it on the way out. He had called rogan's managing They said go to burbank airport. There's a ticket waiting for you to san francisco. You're all going to flying together I went home to hollywood and took a shower and got different clothes and everything But that was a once in a lifetime. Yeah, right. There was there was one time. I had to get off a plane I was in miami and I had to come in monday at 11

I had been snorting for a week straight bobby's late And that sunday didn't like I had the size since thursday for monday morning I snorted all weekend and ate some mass and I didn't go over my fucking sides And getting off the plane and still being a little drowsy and running up to the audition and you walk in And there's 60 people in the room and now you haven't slept in two days and every minute that goes by you're getting worse Right. I know the fucking deal. So it sucks. You know, I used to try to kill I'll never forget when I was shooting analyze this. What do you think I did? What do you think joey d is that?

And I don't like this I booked classicals Oh I booked rascals right like a fucking galvone that I am I booked rascals in jersey. Yes. So I went I was shooting in jersey I was shooting tuesday and wednesday okay Wednesday is when rascals started in those days. It was wednesday night. They cut the tuesday out And I oh, maybe it was a tuesday. It was a tuesday because I went there monday. Yeah And then boom no worries and I asked the director who was cool as shit

How long he goes the scene's gonna go great The scene's gonna go fast. Well deniro's in the room and he wants you to shoot from every angle So you shoot from 12 o'clock two four six eight ten And both sides his sides and my sides. This is a fucking nightmare. Holy shit So this scene started at nine in the morning at six. We're still there And it's the scene where I'm getting shot And I'm not I can't even think about the lines anymore guys. I had set them 200 times already It was me and anthony lempogla. I couldn't say the lines anymore and all I kept thinking about

Was that fucking feature spot bobsleigh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I couldn't focus I couldn't focus on the on the fucking line. It finally came out after an hour Like they were getting pissed off at me and everything embarrassing And then I redeemed myself with something else and it was all forgotten, but Oh my god, did you make it to rascals? Fuck yeah, you did that hairdo. Yeah. Yeah with the fucking hairdo How do you? Oh, yeah, yeah

How do you guys did this like decide to like Manage your two two because you have two careers What can you have to book stand-up gigs far in advance? But then acting gigs are kind of clicking pop up whenever but they know when stand-up gigs that you're gonna cancel You know, they know and I've only done that a few times Any acting gigs, but they're well aware, you know, I always hated these guys and they do this a lot. Remember There'd be a show like Hollywood squares or something some comic would call a club and go I just got Hollywood squares today. They want me, you know, so I got to cancel and I feel you know

You could do that show anytime or whatever show was they want me for this show or that show But if it's to show you do it and to cancel on a club who you know See, I've always tried not to do that because that's been my the clubs are my bread and butter, you know My manager's going something cancel gig you should go read for this and I'd done that before and pissed off the club Took me forever to get back and then I go read for something Natalie not get it not right for the part, you know, it just and you know, they just it just you know It just jacking you off forever under shit So it's like the clubs are my bread and butter and there's been a lot of times

Where I just won't cancel a gig to go read for something unless I'm sure yeah quite Tarantino called He's a big fan. It's a big movie. Well, okay, then whatever you want me to do I'll kill my first born. I'll be there in an hour But you know to go read for some fucking sitcom which probably won't go some horrible part You know, it's just I don't I don't care anymore. I had a manager that revolved around that at the time. I liked him and From 2001 to 2006 basically, this is how it went down. I would book your comedy room But I'll tell you what if I got a call for an audition it was over

I would cancel doesn't matter what the audition was even if you're not right If it was a home run for me, yeah The thing got cancelled. Well, that's understandable. It would have got cancelled right and but I learned later on in life that Again, there was one time I had to cancel somewhere. Those people still don't talk to me I was I was gonna say I mean people can understand one time, but I'm sure these people move around these bookers move around between clubs So if you piss off the same person two three times, they might not book you I had a one time I tried to cancel on sarah nine that bitch must have made bobby slave. Oh, yeah

What did you do you fucking can't she goes if you don't get on the plane and I woke up the next morning said Fuck you. I'm not getting on a fucking plane. I never liked her and then she booked me anyway again for new years So fuck how she robbed me what she booked me again. So what to read, you know, sometimes I was I was brought up In the sense that if you had something with comedy clubs that they understood They understood number one because it's part of the business. You're here to do television And number two that sometimes you have to cancel on them You know I'm saying just to let them I remember a particular story And god bless his soul

bobby Robert shimmel Robert shimmel worked the improv's and this is 2001 2002 maybe 2000 And something happened in this country reality shows And it was how to marry some fucking homo how to marry some fucking post-mobile or some shit And guess who won some comedian some comedian who used to open up with is it hot in here on my pants on fire? And he used to set his pants on fire Like the cuffling on his pants on fire

So the guy wins this on fox. He's the struggling comic guys and Guess what the improv's do because they'll suck it dick. They don't give a fuck They canceled Robert shimmel on wednesdays and thursdays And made him cancel wednesdays and thursdays because they were bringing fucking harvey homo in Who was the husband of the year on some show, right? Do you remember what this guy's name was? He was out of a white dude and he lived like in the beach like her most of beach He started and I had worked with him at harvey's one time And somebody told me this guy was you this guy was gonna be a star

But something went wrong his show went down. I still remember working. All right. I wish I knew who you thought about I still remember working with craig shoemaker in 1999 and they called me to the other room and they said do us a favor Don't piss this guy off. He's the next tim allen This guy's got more network deals than anybody. He's the next tim allen pleased to not piss him off And nothing happened craig shoemaker. Yeah, he worked a lot craig I mean over the years as a stand-up, but they were booking him as the next fucking tim allen He's no fucking tim allen. That's my point You don't remember the other guy you're talking about. No, so this guy wins this fucking reality show rick rockwell

rick rockwell that fucking moment How about a million men find the wife the millionaire guy who turned out to be a whole big scam there? So robert schimmel Two weeks What he would do to get back at the improv for that is cancel the weekend But he would cancel it on friday morning But I didn't care because guess who covered for him. Ah, I used to feature so now I became the headline I was already in town. I didn't nobody came to see me. But what the fuck I would practice headlining I was terrible, but it didn't matter right, but my point was robert schimmel would cancel friday morning

I ain't the fucking morning. They were calling me like friday. I ate there. How often did that happen? He did it to me one time there and one time in tempe and that's how I knew he did it on purpose He did it on friday morning I was scheduled to work on two weekends like two weeks apart three weeks apart And he canceled both those gigs on a friday fucking morning glad he had the money. Yes god dude. Follow me You fuck with me. I fucked back with you. You keep them. Everybody gets on point. It's hysterical They treat you like shitty improv's Or any comedy club for that matter until they see you

on a commercial On some stupid tv show You know it was so funny like somebody came up to me. They go joe. I heard you say One night that this town doesn't start working for you to your book of commercial He goes that happened to me He goes some clubbooker in ontario at the improv saw me in a commercial and now i'm an mc there fucking once a month That shit doesn't make any difference anymore though. It it does it but in their minds You might become something if they see you in that I don't think it works that way anymore

You never know how a person's perception is from you. Yeah, listen bobby slayton Okay How many fucking shitty commerce do you know That they get put in a movie Oh, and now they go on the comic tour. Oh, absolutely. They're terrible. They don't have even 30 minutes I was talking about that with my jujitsu teacher this month with mike with john evans who were talking about Guys who get put out there way before their time You know, I don't I can't even figure people out

But it's like guys from a reality show saturday night live alums They're like I could do this stand-up shit on the fucking road. Oh, yeah And they get on the road and after two weeks They got to call pablo francisco or some other got to come in and do a little longer Because they're cutting that time back for 20 minutes and 10 or 20 of a q&a now You're fine because everybody thinks they could do this and so, you know, it's internet sensations too They they do something on the internet for three four minutes and these clubs are telling me they're selling out You see they're going one show that it was a horrendous nightmare that chelsea handler show in the afternoon that horrible show

All these comics have big gay faggoty gab fest that chelsea handler show. Oh It was horrible, but you find that there were some really good comics on the show you laugh like what would you you enjoyed watching chelsea handler show You liked it joey I love watching the shoes. You always wore sexy shoes. She's what? She always wore very sexy shoes. Oh, hi. I'm not sorry. I wouldn't fuck her. She's always wanted No, but there were a lot of comics on her show. Some of them were great or some great comics But there was some because of that the same thing you talk about movies, you know, you see them on a Talk show and they have a few funny lines and they're hysterical for five ten minutes and all of a sudden they're headlining and selling out because of that show

To her credit to their credit. I mean hey, whatever it takes to make a living whatever it takes It's great. I mean if if I was on that show and I was a mediocre comic And I've had ten minutes and they wanted to pay me three four five thousand I would find a way to do an hour. I bring out puppets and guitars and I do a q&a Whatever, you know There's a man when when this podcast stuff started happening and people started coming out to the shows I was already doing comedy 19 years I wasn't quite a headliner, but I could cover the spread. I was a lot better than 50 percent of the people you saw

I had you know, I had faced audiences. I put my fucking work in here Right. It's not like got some guy that hits a tv show and his agent goes. Hey, man They're offering you 25 grand a weekend to go on the fucking road right and you're gonna get them once or twice You're gonna get them once or twice after that. They're gonna say I can't go see that that was horrendous It was up there singing songs and although people keep going back to see paulie shore explain that to me. Go ahead explain it to me Paulie I'm gonna explain sure. Yeah, I explain to you why I Understand I moved to los angeles. Yeah, and since day one. I've been doing comedy people always ask me has met see senior yet

You know and I used to see this kid on fucking mtv or whatever the fuck it is back in whatever fucking year it is Bobby You know and I go to the store and I meet him and I'm not crazy about bobby Whatever his fucking name was at the time paulie But I don't want if they was at the time bobby paulie whatever his fucking name at the time You know, he was still a little semi famous when I moved to LA and everybody had an attitude and people who worked for him had Attitude and I had beef with one of them and paulie came to me So it was always a rugged but he always knew I loved his mom

He always knew that if I was in the room, I had no beef with me t-shirt And over the years whatever happened. I was there the night they threatened rogan I was there. I turned my back because I thought rogan was gonna knock him out But rogan was smart and he walked out and then they ended up banning them and I would see paulie He always had a wise remark And about a year ago not even I started going back to the store bobby slay and after six weeks You know when you don't remember somebody You've had somebody in your life who's just out of mind man

They just they're one of those people that did kind of you 18 years ago and one that they just stopped coming to the punch line And then they show up after 10 years and you're like, what the fuck happened. Oh my god And even you feel bad. You're like, oh my god. I forgot about this guy existed Right, that's how I saw paulie. Sure. And he came over and he gave me a hug and we started talking And it's been a very how are you relays? What's going on? What time are you on 10 30? Good to see you man. All right And last week I was at the store and I'm laying against the fucking freezer And he walks in and gets a water and he goes, how are you and I go good and he stands there for a minute bobby slay And I'm sitting there and I look at him and I go. Oh my god

First of all, I'm in my 50s And I'm at the fucking comedy store and I got a spot at 10 45 Okay, and I'm looking at this fucking good look in front of me And I'm thinking to myself I grew up while when I first started comedy. He was already on tv so At that moment for some reason which I never get I got nostalgic I got it. It's like someday Lee paid and I'm not making fun of you. I'm just saying something from your

Upbringing. Lee paid. How much did you pay for daint cook tickets? In college I was I know I I think I paid 100 each. Okay. What tickets for the daint cook or don't judge don't judge I was a junior in high school in high school. Okay. I took my prom date. Okay. So you took your prom date You really thought he was funny. You bought his albums You know Lee whatever conversation we're having here. He was a part of who you are right now You're at this fucking table because you went to see daint cook Because you were you like comedy his first two albums come on. Listen to me man. Listen to where I'm going with this

I had never like I I've always like stand up and that's like the Kind of stand up like my my mom would drop with drive would all listen to like his his albums were like fine for her to listen to and that like I didn't like It's kind of like you find out you're not supposed to like them now Most people will be you know, it's like who buys britney spears first out Obviously, you didn't and you fucking didn't but she sold 80 million copies. Okay Somebody's buying these albums right now those people find those albums going what the fuck was I thinking? But guess what when they're 60 they're gonna look back and that's a part of who you are in a way

He's part of it for some people. He's like the fucking Beatles right the first time they saw a brother-in-law They jerked off into their good girlfriend's mouth in the eighth grade something people attached themselves to something So I get when paulie shore goes to a city right and he could still sell 550 tickets for him That's great. You know chicks still go how many chicks want to love with paulie shore when they were 20 now They go see him and he looks like a fucking bus at him and that's the end of that they're like I wasn't gonna suck his dick. I was thinking of sucking his dick till I got there. I love my husband We'll see how powerful it is like but that that's the entire thing when there's going on with cosby

That's the only reason he's not like being beaten in the streets. Who caused me It was part of somebody people's lives Everyone loves him. So it's like oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm like he was a part of that show is insane Everyone watched that show. It's like michael jackson. Yeah, michael jackson. Listen When you talk to me and michael jackson and my years we were talking about starting a podcast What I had to go backwards the first time my book when I came from cuba was abc Then I bought james brown, but I bought whatever get your yas yas out But that's the first time my first album was I think before the beatles. No

No, the beatles are not and then the monkeys here are two later one of my first album. I still like the monkeys But they were good Let me do some shout outs and we'll abandon ship. We'll get you some oh wait When you after you do the shout outs, we will be here for almost two hours. Can we go eat? I'm starving That's why I'm doing the fucking shout outs cop suck it So we go get some tea, but I gotta find my glasses. Oh my god I can't see you can't see they're right here on the table the ID glasses. I'm gonna be able to see your glasses See what I'm saying. I went right full-time now. You have to

Uh, Jeremy grog. I love you dom deniro. We had good life. I love you too dappadon 90 alexander void aron ray Zach motor nfc And robert colt colt robert colon your bad motherfucker by the way before I forget before you go on You know your show the last time I did a phone in with you Yes, and I've done a hundred podcasts a lot I got more people follow me on twitter when I say a lot of people. I mean another 10. That's a lot I've I've 8,000 people. I lose every time I tweet something. I lose more people every time I make a joke

I'll be having I'll have negative I'll be the first one to have negative twitter followers. Why I keep going at this rate But pitbull of comedy But what would like you you're a fucking savage after you're doing your show people These the shoutouts these are these are my people too. Hold on one second I gotta talk to you while lee is here one of the things I stress about this show And lee will be here with me the reason why you're on here, Bobby slain is because I learned from guys like you, you know, I learned from watching guys like a tell

I learned like from watching mitch headberg. I learned from you guys It'd be a it'd be really funny to see what mitch would be doing today Because everybody would know about mitch and these kids wouldn't be jumping on the bandwagon or whatever, but The real interesting thing is comedians Come and go and it's and the sad thing is that The clubs take a certain time of the year that's dark and they offer you that week and they pay the lowest money They could get away with course and they make it seem like they're doing you a favor And people just don't go because they're not excited because

They don't know and it's it's it's like anything else in this business Uh, I don't listen to erosmith anymore. I haven't bought an album in 20 since done with mirrors. Yeah, but guess what they're still making music And it's good. Do I fucking am I gotta buy it tomorrow? No, you you've evolved You've been doing county for 45 I know I didn't get better You're getting better and funnier. So for somebody to not to say listen, I like bobby slayton's in town This guy is in town. No, no, let's go see uh neil chid. He's on a e Keeping up with the Kardashians. They rap, you know, and this is where people make mistakes They get and then they go in and they

They look at the bill they drop 90 and they'll never go see this fucking mud again But meanwhile, they'll pay the small 15 for you and the laughter asses And you know and you know I said back there, you know, you're just a fucking guy that's been doing coming at dessert And this is what bothers me. This is why Uh, people come up to me like it's amazing that you've evolved with social media. Well, he's helped me out so bad at it And but there's nothing to be bad about. It's what we do for a living on a natural We look for things that are fucking awkward and put them on there You just can't put them on there. You got to let people know you're a warm hearted motherfucker

But hold on one second. I'd go for a midget with an ice cube sucking my asshole. You follow me. There's always some way That's it. People want to know what's really in your thoughts Am I right? No, you're right. And you know what I'm thinking about before I forget I want to do this for the next time I play, you know, I I'm not working at the south point in las vegas They actually let me play the showroom and the last time I played there I brought Jackie Marley and stirring shall I remember from the stirring show with the leto show But this time I'm bringing in Lenny Clark and Jim Florentine It's bobby slain and friends because I know I can't sell out the whole room

Well, you play there you do the show the for the mexican you do the midnight show, right? No, no, I do the regular weekend But you do it in the big showroom. Yeah, it's a beautiful round. It's a beautiful room. Isn't it? I'm taping my special. That's right. I want to take a special there too. September 20th I am taping a fucking special at the south point motherfucking casino on a saturday night Yeah, I'm going in the end of august I was next time I play well if you you know, you already had like maybe we'll do a thing together I have a raffle and we're gonna give away fucking tickets in a hotel room and you get to eat 500 milligrams of fucking

Milligrams with fucking lisa yacht On friday night the 19th after the first show. Well, keep So I'm a big supporter of the south point What is the date that you're there with Lenny Clark, let me break down who Lenny Clark is One of the reasons I'm here is because of this gentleman here But also a man by the name of Lenny Clark wales out of boston who I saw him on the rodney danger field special The reason why I wore a suit for my first two years of county was because of Lenny I never went on stage without a suit and you've got jimmy florentino

I just worked with at the store saturday night. Oh, he was a fucking pisser I love jimmy that station that he does the music. I don't lie to you that metal midgets. I listen to it every sunday It is he told the story about going to see iron maiden and judo's priest at asbury park I went to that show and for a long time in those years I go to shows and somebody was lighting fucking The smoke bombs And he told the story about getting high and lighting a smoke bomb and he knew it was him and they threw him out And he had to call his mother to pick him up and his mother seen his red eyes and she's like but you're getting high And he's like no no no no no no it was the smoke from the fucking I was dying

That was a part of my youth. He was he's great. Do you see him on uh the finale? I think it was the finale of a louis ck show no Oh, he oh he well he dies on it, but he's really good having a fight with louis over fart jokes and uh It was just he's saying the story I gotta go pee keep saying the story and talk more about saplan Let me go shoot this. You guys wait. I gotta pee. What are you? You have to pee Well, hurry up because I oh great now. I have to talk to you about your birthday

You know for the last we've been on now. I don't know what you're having. She's gonna end this down to almost two hours There's no editing. I've had no editing. Nope. I've had to pee for a solid half hour and I kept thinking every time I gotta pee He's gonna end the show But no he's gotta do something else, but while he's in the bathroom. You know, have you been out to uh, vegas? Yeah, I go a bunch. I went I went he headlined uh A couple months ago, and then I guess in september or august we're going out. No september Oh, that's what he's taking a special. Yeah, you know, it's great about the south point and that's Really cool. It's off the strip and when you go to the strip

Your locals don't want to go to the strip. The strip is horrible You know, you got it's getting worse and worse and worse You know, I don't get dressed up when you go to a four-star restaurant I don't want a guy coming in with a dirty t-shirt and flip-flops, you know, at least if you're gonna be white trash pig At least for a clean t-shirt, you know, you go and you see the whole strip It's become and the locals don't want to go there because the crowds or the traffic and the drunks The homeless people dressed up like spider-man, you know, the street performers. Are they homeless? No, but they might as well be They're always out there

What I probably some of them are I mean if you're gonna be on the strip dressed up as wonder woman or Minnie Mouse What a great job for a homeless person You're gonna be out there anyway begging for money He might as well dress like a cartoon character so they don't arrest you, you know Um, but anyway, so the subway is great because it's off the strip and it gets a lot of locals I like the cell point You talk about the cell point. I was off the strip, right? I really like the cell point. I have a great time there. It's real people. It's a big room

What's the dates when you're there? 21 to 23 but Lenny Clark, you know had his own show Lenny on cbs remember that Lenny Clark used to be also being a John Lyro catch-all that used to be a fucking good show. Who the fuck you think you're dealing with? I don't know fucking guy when I got a rescue me when I got into fucking comedy I got into comedy Lenny was on the John Lyro catch-all and I would sit there and learn from him for a while He was the fat guy I learned on fucking Jackie Gleason. So Lenny and Jackie to me were in that same cousins of family. So I tried to emulate them. I saw Lenny the years later at the store and I pulled him aside and I told him my story You know what? He was very fucking cool to me. So you great guy. I love you guys

And that's why they're working with me. All right, so can we go eat now? Will you do shout out let me fucking do my thing if you do then I can go pee now I gotta do the sponsors. I just want to say something. So you say thank me now I need to keep it It's either this key or the other silver one that looks just like I wonder why don't there's gonna be a dead hooker in there I must hurry up. Hurry up. Let me read this. We get out of here. Go go do I gotta tell the fucking church people something real important Guess who contacted me this weekend lucy snow bush How fucking funny is that through a friend of a friend of a friend?

She says she went to a fellow express store to mail a box and the guy said the lucy snow bush are you from north bergen? And she goes this has happened like 15 fucking dimes to me So how you like them there? And she finally reached out and like number 50 She reached out to a friend of a friend of a friend and they got back to me and this is what we're gonna do So i'ma try to give her a call tomorrow and Say hello and see if we can have it a call and Just talk to us a big show and shit like that. How you doing brother? Happy birthday. Thank you very much. Happy birthday. You've

You've grown up to you've really fucking grown up in front of me. How old were you when I met you 23? Close that door. Wait, I can't the bathroom. I can't get the bathroom door open the mail bathroom I use the bathroom Do you give me the right key fucking podcast here? I thought maybe there's somebody in there use that key right there. Maybe there is who knows in the mail one I'll be back. Good. Finish up your show. I'm thinking about human foot. I need a survey So let's do it. Let's do it. Let's get out of here. Stop interrupting cuck sucking Anyway, close the door

I forgot what we were saying Anyway It's like a happy birthday. Thank you, buddy. Oh, um Probably like 22 23 five years. I got a girlfriend now. You're wearing your pimp shirt brand new The mother-in-law cooked for you last night mom sent you by how much for the checks you put in that guy It's like you're holding out on me No, no, no, no, you're fucking stuttering. Fuck. How much you give me? I'm just gonna give you the small five brand

She gave you that fucking Hanukkah money from 1929. They will hold on to it and shit Anyway, we're gonna get the fuck out of here, man. I love that you guys listened to us on a monday afternoon Uh first sponsor always up to my my fucking life blood on it Always on it always with the fucking new tropics alpha brain Money back guarantee coming at you. Nobody does that. We don't even want the fucking product back Besides that you got the testosterone upgrade in your body. You have the The tea the coconut oil they're putting you in your coffee and whatnot It never ends with on and they're always getting the head of the head and the head and the head

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You know I'm saying you should always be paying 45, but I negotiate it down for you an extra five points number three hitty-sigs Five for 50 last longer tastes better last longer 1200 guaranteed pups. You understand me? That's like a hooker with a fucking big-ass mouth. That's 1200. You go to one of these 7s 11s What do you fucking get you get three pups for fucking eight dollars? We're giving you Small mouth relax 1200 fucking hits relax cocksucker 1200 guaranteed hits hitty-sigs That's how we do it over there go to hitty-six.com right now and get five So you get two cigars and you get three different fucking cigars and they taste as they get the fruits raspberry coconut

Whatever fucking flavors you like almond, whatever you like Then you got cigarettes you got 24 milligram 16 milligram eights of milligram and zero You got to pick three out of the four. All right. Don't break my balls Go to hitty-six.com right now and press in joey's church Boom and get five for 50. Tell them we sent you they'll take good. Gary Maybe don't throw in some extra shit in the box. Number one my main man. Dave foley Doing it tough Let me high in dragon tv kung fu movies to the hill

If you love the chinese people flying through the air, this is the website for you roku, correct? hd What is it? Don't just sit there and stare at me you fuck What's the what are they pressing joey joey and get two free movies downloaded on the arm like to thank bobby slayton Don't forget august 21st and 22nd at the south point casino I will be there taping a special only you motherfuckers know right now September 19th or 20th. It's a saturday night. Also this week in chicago thursday and friday And rose mount saturday and the next wednesday night. We're at the

ice house for a combination testicle testament slash podcast and then august 14th In august 15th. I'm in toronto at the comedy bar Uh, the fifth no the 15th is a podcast seminar and the 14th is at that weed's place What the underground where you get high so that's going to be a lot of flying to radio And what are you going to do when they fucking stab you down that one? They give you 8 000 milligrams

Because I got a team of people you know, we're high as fuck giving you cakes are going to spray thc powder in your fucking head Do it's all over they're gonna put thousand milligrams in your head doing let's do it. All right I love you guys. Don't forget us here. Go on the twitter. What is it? And just go to my twitter and the links in my lisa. Yeah, go on the fucking twitter. All right, bobby slayton Now can we eat now? We're going to eat now. Love you guys stay black. Yeah something for bobby slayton Put your earphones on cucksuck. All right First brought to you by annan.com Use code word church and get 10% off all the great optimization products

Go to naileditlife.com also lose goomyshamannus.com Use code word joe diaz to get 20% off the premier vapor ran on the market for all the oil and mike smokers And go to hit ease hit e6.com use code word joe's church to get five hit e6 for $50 Next we go eat Okay Oh Yeah Yes, that's the state didn't last we watch it fly

And Well I'm content down the building or destroy a woman's face Hours are like diamonds don't let You And he won't Oh

And There Oh Yeah What In your Death at your call The praise of the night time

We will benefit by dawn Time waits for no one And it won't wait for me Time waits for no one And it won't wait for me No, no, no, not for me No, not for me That love

That love That love That love Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah