Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #303 - Jayson Thibault

Episode Date: July 28, 2015

Jayson Thibault, comedian and host of the "Punch Drunk Sports Podcast" joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout. HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for five Hit E Cig's for $50 Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by using code word joeydiaz. They are also produce some of the best edibles on the market, Los Gummies Hermanos Recorded live on 07/27/15 Music:  One Day As A Lion - Zack Dela Rocha Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet Killing in The Name Of - Rage Against The Machine

This show is brought to you by Onit.com. Go to Onit.com and use code word church to get 10% off all of the great optimization products like AlphaBrain, Strongbone, Numood, Shumtech Immune, Shumtech Sport, all of their optimization products. Use code word church to get 10% off. Show is also brought to you by NailedItLife.com. For all the oil and wax smokers out there, go to NailedItLife.com and use code word joeideas to get 20% off the premier vapor print on the market.

And if you live in California and have your medical marijuana card, they also make Los Gumi Shamanos great, great edibles. NailedItLife.com also Los Gumi Shamanos and go to hitesigs.com. Hit letteresigs.com. Better tasting, longer lasting. The proof is in the vape and right now, hitesigs.com is doing a five for 50. Use code word joeise church to get 20 per, to get five for hitting $650. July 27, Monday, as usual, a beautiful motherfuckin' day to be alive, Lisa Yat,

Cocksucker, Jason Tebow. What's up, Cocksucker? Always gotta hit the thing when the music bumpin'. Nah, it's good for the last couple weeks. Don't fucking touch it, yeah. You were introducing people. Don't worry about introducing nobody. He was feeling the vibe.

Yeah, we're feeling the fucking vibe. You fuck up the vibe, man. You gotta keep it together. I think he needs to get stoned. This is what happens when I don't see him for a few days. On the weekends, I lose him Thursday night and he rubs feet and he takes orders and he gets bit slapped and I lose him. And then it takes a couple of days.

Someone said that to me on Twitter. Then I gotta fucking feed him all this shit to bring him back in and then he's good till Wednesday. I got on a plane and I come back on Monday and he's fucking half a Harvey Homo again. What's going on with you? You're a little purple shirt. You're looking good. That's a beautiful shirt.

Thank you. It's actually, I got my first sponsor for Flying G-Radio. So thank you. I'm looking at you with the star. Canning clothing. Look at you. They're from Australia. Yeah, they're from Australia.

Australians are some cool fucking motherfuckers. I've never been in Australia and I didn't like. Really? Seriously? Dead serious? There's something about those motherfuckers. I don't know what it is. They're nice.

And you know when you, at the comedy store late night, anytime after like one o'clock, especially during the week, because their vacations are like two months long. They go on holiday and they just like travel around the world for like two months. If it's late night and there's five people left in the OR at the store. Three of them are Australians. All of them. Yeah. Because the time difference, it's like noon to them and Australians can drink to the fucking

cows come home. They're indestructible. No, the guy was very, he just hit me up. So, I mean, it's a great company, but it's, I've never been there. I've never done that kind of, the longest flight I ever did was like. 14 hours. Have you ever been to Australia? No, but that's a hell of a flight.

That's like 18 hours or some shit. That's crazy. For all the people listening to the podcast, I got to get something off my chest. I just got to find out this morning. I always knew I wasn't going to be eligible to get a passport. I've been lying to you guys for a long fucking time. I told my wife today, I said, listen, because we got the letter back, which I knew the fucking names don't match up.

My father's name on the, on my birth certificate and on his Cuban birth certificate, don't add up. They made a mistake in New York. They made like six mistakes in New York. But the truth of the story is that I was born in Cuba, but when I got citizenship or whatever, they gave me a New York City birth certificate and they gave me that birth certificate and I remember having the original when my mother died, it was a black piece of paper that had been typed and they shrunk it down in those days and that's what you took home.

It was stamped. It was, everything was on it and it had like, my dad was a waiter, you know, like shit like that on it, which was always rare. I lost that birth certificate, I applied for a new one, then they sent me this complete different fucking sheet of paper, like a diploma, it looks like a high school fucking diploma. And once I got that high school diploma, I looked at it, I looked at the names and I basically folded it up in my pocket and prayed for the best. When I went to Jamaica, I sweated it.

The first time I went to Jamaica, I sweated it. I went to Hawaii, I sweated it. That's America though. I always, I was still. It was too awesome a fucking flight. Anytime you fly over an ocean, you get dicey. You know, I know for a fact that I went to Venezuela as a kid, either I have a passport or something happened, but I will tell you that nothing is going to add up.

And like I told Terry, I have a friend that's 40, a Cuban girl in Colorado, fucking chicks been here since she was three. Well, guess what? She got a letter about fucking six months ago, she's not a U.S. citizen. Something happened, the computers, this bitch got a start and scratch, and in the meantime, she can't get a job. It's so, that's what I fucking need. That's what I fucking need right now, to send in for this passport and for them to find

some fuck up and next thing you know, I'm getting arrested and getting deported. Because if there's anybody they're going to fucking deport, I talk about Obama's wife, I want to eat her asshole, he writes this shit down and he's like, I'll keep that motherfucking mind. Jesus, so 40 years later, she's now finding out, that's unbelievable. So what can she do? Is she just fucked? I talked to her when I was in Denver, she came to the shows with her son and her husband,

you know, I've known him for 20 fucking years. So I never wanted to mess with it. Like I'm very lucky, I'm very fortunate. I'm one of those guys. Once I know I'm very fortunate, I'm living in the best country in the world and yeah, I don't get to travel to other countries to do comedy and people like you're losing money. You listen, I know for a fact that if I apply and push the fucking envelope, like there's a tyranny call to it and he's like, this is not, what's going on?

I explained that. You know, this is New York 1966, they did everything by fucking hand. You know, some of that stuff, like I went looking for records seven years ago in Union City and they sent me to a library to do the fucking thing where you have the sheet and you got to put it under the microscope, microfiche, yeah, and they have it on computer. I didn't know what I was doing. So I just abandoned shit. I ran the fuck out of there.

You look at that news. That's, yeah, that shit under fucking 1985 now under nineteen seventy nine eighty your shit's good because then my police record, half of it is gone, half of it is gone. I just got my record two years ago when I got my criminal, when they stole my identity and I just got my police from me and Terry were talking, let's go see through it. And I told, I go, there's 15 arrests that are completely missing. We call the service and no, this is what's on there. They had a, I had a two false arrests that were not me.

You know, two Jose Diaz's that one, you know, my name is Jose Diaz. What the fuck? That's John Smith in the United States. Go to Miami and look for Jose Diaz. You'll be there for fucking two years. Oh yeah. That's why I always knew. I just go to Miami.

They'll never find me. Right. The yellow pages Diaz is eight, nine, ten, fifteen fucking pages in Miami. But do you like, does it worry you? Are you sitting there nervous? Fuck yeah. I was always worried. I've always been worried because my parents pulled the, pulled the quick one.

They pulled the quick one. My wife went on ancestry, I ancestry.com. Yeah. My uncle's on there. My dad's on there. My mom, she ain't on there. This bitch went, lived on the, whatever islands, the Cuckoo's Islands outside of Cuba. She lived in Venezuela.

She lived in Chile. She's not on there. No Ellis Island record of DeNora fucking Valdez, Tuero, Malvarez, nothing, all the names she's involved with. You know, so it's, these people pulled the quick one. It was the fucking fifties and sixties. You went to Miami the way you used to be, you used to go to Mexico. You know, we went to Miami the way to Cuba.

I'm sorry. The way today you go to Las Vegas. It was easier in 1955 to go to Cuba than what it is to fly from here to Vegas. You know, you go through less drama in the fifties going to Cuba. Wow. It's a 30 minute flight. Yeah. It was me, you were hanging out.

Well, it's like 90 miles. So it has to be like a 10 minute flight. It was 90 miles from Miami. So you're in New York city. In the fucking 84. I left New York for different reasons, but I gotta be honest, I left New York because I wouldn't have lived in 1984, people, there was an airline called People's Express already sounds dangerous.

Okay. People's Express offered flights to three places. You ready? Newark to Miami, Newark to London and Newark to Los Angeles. That's it. Here's the catch. You never call them up. You couldn't call them up and go, hi, this is Lisa.

I want to come get on People's Express. That did not work for them. Here's how it worked. You showed up. You showed up and if you came up and got on that plane before, so you showed the airport and you go, how you doing? My name is Jason Tebow. I want to go to London.

Mr. Tebow. I don't even think you had to have ID in those days. Yeah. It was ridiculous. They didn't know. There was no ID. Okay. They give you a receipt and you paid on the plane.

It was like a fucking, like a shuttle bus. So you got on the plane and then they came up and they just told you what it was. For a blanket, it was $6. Oh, it's like spirit. For a snack box, it was $6. For a pillow, it was $2. For earphones, with music, it was $5. So by the time you got off, you paid $80 in extras.

The luggage was $15. The flight was $5. You're dealing with Uncle Joey. Yeah. The Bronx in those days and got 10 credit cards, matching IDs on the insurance card and a mask card for a nickel. Right. Do you know how much wear and tear I got out of those stolen credit cards?

So you get on the plane and I get on that plane and start buying drinks for bitches. I was nuts in those days. Give that sexy motherfucker a drink. Give her a drink. Give her a drink. And they could take credit cards on the plane. They only took credit cards on the plane. So what they did in those days, they wasn't tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink, tink.

The imprint. The imprint. You can let that slide a lot. That's like fucking spailing, like nothing. I know. You don't know how many Chinese lunches because under 25 hours, they didn't check the book. Okay. What's the book?

There was, okay. So here's what. I'm young. I don't know what the shit is. All right. The book was that if you went, I was called an under the limit thief. The limit on credit cards in those days that they had a call of them was $50. So if you went to a store and spent $42, they just imprinted it.

So, but if you spent $50, they had to call the company and put you in the money? They had to call them. Not call them. They do the, the imprint and call them. I have Jason Tebow, 3, 3, 4, 5, 6, expiration 6, 26, 6 to a $64 is approved. Okay. But if you didn't spend over $50, they're busy. You go to a busy store.

They want to take the time to call. Okay. So this is part of the whole scam. You went to a busy store. So you watch, you went to the mall, you watched the lady. So it was the busiest and you brought the thing, $42, ching, ching, it was like stealing. So I used to have lunch every day. In those days, we always went to lunch because we pick a Chinese lunch special.

Me and you, even if it was $5.95, it's on us, alongside all the spare ribs, a couple of cokes, you know what I'm saying? So we became under the limit thieves. That's what that call. It's the scummiest people in the world, but I had a great time. It happens to me like every six months. I think one of the post offices has a guy in there scanning the cards because every card I get from Bank of America gets, I didn't even activate this one.

I didn't even activate it. And they had it. And they had it. Yeah. That means they got it from the inside. And they go to like Ross and they spend $5 and they, but then they go and try to find one big one. Once they find out that it's active, then they go to find one big one.

That's what the guy said. Let me tell you how with Jason, Jason Tebow. So you meet a bitch in New York city. Okay. I already liked the story. You get out of work at one, one, one in the morning. You're walking out of your little bartending union job, but you're a little black vest. But while you're there, some shit, some chick from Australia is talking to you.

Right. I really like to go out and drink. What are you talking about? You want to have a drink? You have two drinks and the chick starts telling you how life, you know, she, she, she does blow three times, but she really doesn't like it. Hook. Hook.

You make the call right there. Hold on, babe. Give me a G, bro. I got a live one. Yeah. Right. You start giving this chick bumps. She's hot.

She sucks your fucking dick. All right. One in the morning in those days, three 30 Tebow, I swear to my fucking daughter and wife, three in the morning. I could look at you and go teeps. I got an A-ball. I got like 600. What do you got?

I got 800. Let's get the fuck. Let's go to Miami. Right. We take a cab to Newark airport for 20 bucks. They ran on the hour on the top of the hour. People's Express. They knew the drug addiction.

They were the drug plane. How many hours a day? 24 hours a day. No way. Here's where it gets interesting. Here's where it gets interesting. From eight to midnight, it was $69. But for midnight to eight in the morning, it was 39 one way.

Get out of here. So come on, guys. I'm aligned to you. 40 bucks? In those days. Yeah. 40 bucks down. It didn't matter.

We were putting it on the chinks credit card from Brooklyn. Bob the good. It's under a 50. They're not going to check it anyway. No. They're going to go chink, chink. And then when they land, they're going to run it. It's a fake card.

Done. It's already there. And we're going on there drinking champagne. Oh, yeah. We're going for pop. That's crazy. I did that to Boston to New York. Yeah.

30, 40 bucks on a bus. But you flew to Miami? Miami in those days. And then you waited down there for three days till your money was spent. Yeah. In those days, listen. Miami knew what you were going down there for. Sure.

All those, and especially those dingy, dirtier ones, those Motel sixes, they dropped their price for 15 because all the drug deals in the world were being caught in those fucking hotel rooms. Yeah. I mean, it was crazy. You get on those plans. I remember getting on the plane and I swear to God, guys, let's say there was 90 seats. Let's pretend 60 of those seats, 55 of those people were hammered.

Oh, yeah. Hammered. I mean, shit dripping down in those. How much was that? No way. Do you remember? I think it was like $99. One way.

No, no, no, no. I'm lying to you guys. It was really cheap. That's what the lure was. But sometimes you showed up and there was a line and you had to stay there all day because now you had to qualify for the next flight. So sometimes you get to that terminal and there'd be 4,000 people out there, not on the midnight to Miami.

Those were only Coke, Fiends, Vampires and people with AIDS, looking for new blood. Shit. Those were the people that were chasing Mel Gibson. Those were the people that were chasing Mad Max and shit. Those pale motherfuckers with the blood too. You should have seen this plane, T-Bo. It was just a flying party. And this is why I didn't really, after I left that scene in 85, I knew I would never

match that. Like I had mingled in Colorado and I went to Aspen and Aspen was a cocaine cap. The party I had lived through in New York. Aspen was a rich cocaine party. Rich. When I was a kid, there was a party, a pool, a place called Patty Bugatti's and it was a bar with a pool in the middle. So after a few drinks, you could jump in the fucking pool.

This is crazy in us. And I went there a couple of times and women would jump in the pool and next thing you know, they'd take their bottoms off and you'd be fucking them or fingering them in the pool. This is some great, this is, and yeah, those were different types of things that I had seen. I don't think, I don't think I fingered somebody. I just heard stories, but when I left New York, the shit I saw in those clubs, like I was never a club guy.

But to me, the nights I did go out, like with my friend Mike Astley's one night, we went out with like an ounce of blow one night to those boom, boom, boom clubs. We're in a women's bathroom, snorting with six people in a stall, you know, and it's fun. But that's why when I left. But that fucking flight, I wish I would have had a camera to show you people, even the store. This is what happened.

I was going to ask what they were doing. Even the store. This is what happened. And that's, you could probably still smoke on a plane back then smoke on a plane. And I remember there was a plane that I used to take United from San Francisco to New York. That was a double decker. And in those days, the bottom was regular class and they treated you like a human being. But the top of the plane was first class.

You know, there used to be double decker planes in midnight express. And they're going coast to coast. That's where the planes were Miami, New York, Miami, LA, LA, New York. It was double decker planes. You go upstairs. I swear to God, there will be. I don't forget that there was a fucking pig one time and people were picking off the fucking pig.

Like, really? With an apple in his mouth, with all derbs around it. That's the time, T-Ball. Jesus. But I went up to first class. I bought a first class ticket on the night. I thought I was a gangster. I was bringing back guns and I was.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I was taking guns from Colorado to Jersey and two hours later getting on the same flight going back to Denver and then I would have a connection from Denver to fucking Aspen. But I would leave that. I would take like the 6 a.m. on Aspen connecting in Denver, 805 and I'd be in LA and New Jersey at 11 and I'd be at the two o'clock flight from Newark right back to. You were selling guns. And I was taking the guns back and bringing the Coke.

So I wasn't. You were selling guns for Coke? Trading guns for Coke. Old school. Old school, T-Ball. Jesus. With the Miami Vice-Holster. Like a Scorsese movie.

Listen to me. If you, when I would put the Miami, I would get there and Danny Biancullo and like three of his Spanish friends would be sitting on a couch and I would be their model and I'd put the Miami Vice-Holster on the Don Johnson with the fucking gun this way and the two clips here. And I would just sit there. I was like a walking eBay. I'd say make an offer.

Where would you sit? I'd stand and they'd be like on couches and I'd take through the whole thing. Put the gun in the clip, clip it, put it here. Put it in like a house? In his apartment. Jesus. In his apartment. We'll ask Danny next time he calls.

So how many guns would you have? Would you? I'd take eight guns. Uh huh. And I'd pay. I got the guy down to 500 and he'd throw in a box of bullets and the holsters. The holsters were retail 100 and something. I think I was wholesaling eight of them at 60 a piece or something.

So my whole cost. The gun was 450. I think my whole cost on everything was maybe like six and I would charge 11. Okay. And then I would take eight guns because it was a, it would be 8,800 that's a quarter of a kilo. Okay. So I would pick up 11 ounces for 8,000 and bring it back.

That was my usual. Wild. Tremendous. Tremendous. That had to be like an adrenaline dump too. And I get on those flights fucking lit. Of course. This is why I should be doing 20 fucking years.

And I'll never forget that one time they were playing the piano on this thing. They had the pig on the table and I'm in first class hammered. Yeah. Just hammered. It'd been three days. Tebow. Sure. You know, deep.

This is when I had a cocaine endurance. Been there. The heart didn't even bother me. No. If it pumped. That meant that was a life. Yeah. Yeah.

And I fucking went up to a thing and it was a black velvety thing and I'm over there with a bartender. Give me another one. I'm fucking banging them 20s. The guys look and I'm like, oh my God, this guy's a savage and I kept going to the back and doing bumps and coming back and one of those it was a black tablecloth and I'm like this and all of a sudden I felt it Tebow. I felt it was stuck up here and I could feel it getting loose but I couldn't cover it.

There was people at the table. That's the worst. And the bartender was looking at me and all of a sudden the Coke Rock just fell and it hit the fucking thing and everybody looked at it at the same time and everybody looked at me and I looked at them and I looked to the top. I looked at the roof like where did this Coke fall from? It wasn't my nose. It was fucking playing and I just left and went downstairs and never went back upstairs

the rest of the flight. So you pay for a first class flight Coke falls out of your nose and then you go down and sit with the common folk after that. Because you could mingle those days. See that's the worst. In those days you could mingle. You could mingle. You could walk around with a drink and go, hey where are you from?

You could smoke. You could smoke. It was like a giant flying Seals bar. In the back you could smoke. In the back you could smoke and in the first class you could smoke. So you could mingle. You know in those days a flight was a party. It wasn't sitting like this together like when you walk in the fucking coach they're

like this. That's what you look like. It's a punishment to fly right now. It's a fucking punishment to fly. So in those days people were more loose. It was two seats. You know they had different types of food. They had sandwiches.

They used to have creams and colognes in the bathrooms. So when you go in there you want to put cream on your hands or cologne. They had little bottles. They don't fuck around though. They took all that away. But my point to that people's express. How crazy is that? Like that.

I remember doing that like four weekends in a row. In September of 84. I mean it's cheaper than- And then I was doing it. Like I did it again. There was two kids from my high school that were down there selling and moving around. And I was trying to nail one of those kids and I kept going down and I found myself and I'm going I can't live like this. This is a hundred dollars to get fucked up.

This is eighty dollars because it's forty and forty. What you do now is when you go back you go back after midnight. That's it. You just sleep all day and go to the airport eleven and pray for a twelve or one o'clock flight. See for raw people on the plane. Because that seems like you could go back and forth and just like raw people if it was a party.

Okay. That's interesting you said that. Of course he did. I got stuck one time. That was when I first met my daughter's mother. She was a criminal. Me and her were fucking criminals. Your ex-wife.

My ex-wife. Yeah. And we had robbed. We were setting up the building. I was robbing a book in this hotel. I lived at the Virginia Hotel downtown San Francisco on the Tenderloin. It's still there. It's a hostel now.

Oh it's just up there. It's across from the Hilton and down the corner. There used to be Fat Ron's coffee shop. There'd be topless coffee waitresses. The Tenderloin was a crazy time. And I moved in there. I was on the run from Colorado for credit cards. And I lived in the Virginia and I nailed them.

I loved dressing up and I'd go to the Hilton and all the hotel California all of those hotels. And I'd sit in the lobby with a newspaper and I'd watch the maids. And I'd follow the maids and I'd steal their keys. Now I had two or three days. Now I wasn't a kid with an earring or tattoo. I looked pretty. I was built in those days and I dressed nice.

I had a nice smile. Unassuming. Unassuming. And I was an outsider. I was from New York so they didn't fucking know. But I was a fucking 24 hour thief. And the cops caught up with me one time and we had to take a bus to Reno and then we went back.

We had to pawn all the jewelry we robbed and we only had enough for one plane to take out of something. I don't know what the fuck the deal was. So I put her on the plane and she goes let me go to Boulder give me a couple days and I'll get the money. I was at a fucking airport guys for three fucking days. That was the airport where I went to piss. In those days you'd go to the airport like if you have nothing to do in those days there

wasn't no buzzers. You could walk your family all the way to the plane in those days. So yeah me to the airport in those days people wouldn't drop you off like an animal. They would park have a drink with you and walk you to the fucking gate and wave at you as your plane went away with them with their kids. Absolutely. It was a complete different fucking world. So people would walk into the airport just to have a drink.

And that was the place in 85. It was 85 where I kept going to the bathroom and it was the same dude in there and what he'd do you'd piss and he'd be in one urinal and he'd go to the other urinal and get next to Lee and try to look at his dick and I think he'd jerk off and then once Lee would leave he'd sit there and make believe he was pissing and then you come in and he'd go to your urinal next to you and he'd look at your dick and I went into this the first time and I'm like this fucking guy but I didn't say nothing the second time I went in he popped right and he was sweating and shit.

How old was he? Like describe him. I had to be maybe 22 and this guy was probably 30 something but you could see he was up for a few days he was sweating. Is this what he does all day every day? He probably just did that all day every day just go to bathrooms and look at guys dick. What a terrible life. So what did you say to him?

Get the fuck away from me. In those days I had no tolerance for that stuff like I didn't understand that I was out of New York I was still a little fucked up I carried a weapon so I always carried a weapon in those days so I just told him get the fuck away from me. I don't know if I had a weapon on me that day or not but that's when I carried a weapon 85 in San Francisco I carried a weapon I always had something on me because that's a scary fucking town. Especially back then it's not that scary now there's some shitty parts but.

Nintendo still has his moments Lee was up there he says. I mean it was there were some parts that like weren't great but then like we were reading reviews for a hotel and they're like it's scary it's not scary you just don't don't be stupid but it was you told me about that I can't believe they have topless coffee bar that seems crazy. I thought it was fat ron's or something ron's coffee house and it was open 24 hours that was I think you put booze in the coffee yeah and they were topless or the top baristas they had like girls that were regular bartenders and they had topless fucking you could bring

your own booze or they would actually throw booze in there on the DL. They threw booze in there I never I'm at that time I didn't drink fucking coffee I drank a coke on a buttered roll for breakfast yeah and I was ready to go there was no cereal there was no oatmeal there was no apple right there was a buttered roll and a fucking can of coke dog and a joint I fuck it with a straw a coke with a straw the carbonation was fucking the rattle you had in those days. Absolutely. So what's been going on brother talk to me.

Not much man I had to look just me and Sam Tripoli just in San Francisco and then I was in the Midwest for five months before that getting clean quit drinking again quit doing drugs again you know I mean I never really I Tripoli always jokes he's like dude you don't you never had a drug problem really I would do coke absolutely I'd smoke pot 24 seven I don't count pot as shit pot but you know if you have a problem with pot you have deeper fucking you're just a pussy you know what I mean like something's wrong with you if pots making your life crazy but you know I would do coke just to fucking sober back up keep drinking but Tripoli's always like dude you're you're like a 1945 drinker

you know what I mean like that's like your past life was like like mad men and shit you know what I mean. How much did you drink towards the end of what were you drinking. I mean I you know it's hard to tell I mean but would you start at nine would you start I would start I mean if I was I was I was tied it on for the day I'd probably start around 11 a.m. you know I'd probably have six to eight beers Jack and Coke or two and then go out you know no nap no no no fuck no were you hung over from a day before not really this I don't I never really got hung over which is a dangerous thing you know

I wouldn't get that hung over. I was never the guy like drinking has never been my thing but like if I was gonna go I'd get drunk but then I could never understand going out Thursday through Saturday even just that was crazy to me because how you feel like I felt like shit the next day that's just because you're not a drinker right well I never got like hung over hung over but like a couple times but normally it's just like it takes it out of you like I always woke up at 6 a.m. after being after going to bed at two like it was just it's a it's a heart it's like a really taxing like like alcohol it's time to make you tired the next day well

you know it takes a lot of recovery from the sugar how old were you when you had your first drink I didn't start drinking till late I was like 19 did you consider yourself an alcoholic at the time you yeah yeah from the middle oh yeah yeah yeah but even then like even when I was 19 I was like I'm there was a part in my fucking soul or head or some shit that was like I am going to have a problem with us you know both my father was an alcoholic both sets my grandparents were just big drinkers you know they were from that kind of like Sinatra era of you know it was really romantic kind of fucking you know get dressed jeed up have a nice hat on go out and tie it on you know big smokers and shit but I do recall

like even maybe 2021 being like I don't have to keep my eye on this shit because I could this could this could run a muck with me you know and it took a while you know from all my 20s I was you know drank a lot and partied a lot that's what everybody does in their 20s you know but wasn't till my like mid 30s I started you know it just wasn't fun anymore I was just doing it just it just became a part of in a lot of ways my every day you know and you're always a comedy club and it's always free to get you know and then you're always like I'm just gonna have one or two drinks there's no point to me you're a great social drinker to have one or two drinks no but I could tell that you see I could you could

lure me in oh absolutely there's people who are fucking sleeping pills but yeah certain people I used to like to drink with even though I'm not a drinker yep and I could see I grew up in the area you're talking about which is what makes me walk around even more shameful mm-hmm I was watching Mission Impossible and that's on channel 20 mm-hmm and there was a scene where he'll show itself the old show yeah yeah yeah he walks into a guy's house to talk to him and the first thing you did in the 60s on television when a man walked into your house was you turned around you didn't even ask no there wasn't like Leah you you want a breakfast drink no you came here to bother me in my office we might as well

have a drink yeah and he was a real drink and they open up a thing and they put ice cubes in there they already had ice cubes that to me was the most fucking amazing thing in the world totally agree and then they show a bottle with no label on it was brown and there was one that was white and they poured the brown you didn't ask your host whiskey or gin you just poured them and you said like this and you tapped and after the first drink so what brings it to my home exactly well Jason Tebow with an awesome you in that same scene you be the guy would turn and offer you a cigarette and right there he'd start smoking a cigarette on television that's what men did in those days on TV I think it still exists but for

me it's like having a bar that I go to every day after work like I don't have then I feel ashamed sometimes I had that I had that that I was I grew up in a bar me too and I saw the social drinking and I never liked the end result mm-hmm I never liked the end result I always enjoyed the let's get a drink I remember the first time somebody asked me to go get a sociable I felt like a fucking man yeah like sixteen and a half sure and he asked me to go to Lutai in those days when somebody actually go to Lutai was let's do a loot mm-hmm I got a couple ludes that split a loot and go get a sociable and I never forget him like drinking at the bar having a drink at two in the afternoon and being so excited but it was such a leg down

like alright so we had a drink now what right and I go home and I feel like shit but what saved me all those years because there's nothing I love more than a cold cold cold cold can of Budweiser mm-hmm that is my blood if I was in it when I got there when I got coked up if you asked me if I gave you an eight ball Joey what are you gonna get I'd get a case of cans go home and put 12 in the fucking freezer yep and every time I take one out of the freezer I put another six I love my cans of butt mm-hmm and I would do a line and drink a half of that motherfucker cold I don't know nothing else I don't know about your fat tie which I do like fat tie with lemon in I don't know about these other ales and all this shit I know the juice for cocaine

but today I couldn't drink two beers when I did coke I could drink those 24 cans and three hours absolutely and not be hung over the next week not at all oh I'd be I like the taste of that beer because like whenever I get I smoke and then try to drink I don't get drunk like if I'm already high I don't get drunk so does it work well it's because you think you have six beers but you probably just sip on one for like I'm like I don't like beer I'm a hard liquor guy so like I was wondering like would you he always drinks the whiskey and the coke whatever the fuck I like makers mark makers mark yeah it was a whiskey guy myself whiskey and beer were really all that I really Jameson's or what did you uh you pretty much

you name it if it was brown yeah I liked I was down when I drank whiskey for those two or three years I liked it I liked how the whiskey and the coke felt sure oh whiskey and cocaine with some refra mm-hmm damn yeah I used to be hooked on Harvey's Bristol cream I used to take this girl down the shore and that's the only thing that ever made my dick hard for long in the minute I'd have to drink Harvey's Bristol cream on the rocks it was like a a stronger Irish cream at the time mm-hmm and my dick would stay hard on coke with that shit for some reason I don't really never drink it again I don't know what the fuck happened but I guess fuck it once I started starting to start soaking your dick in that shit oh my god once I started getting hung over

I'm likely that's the part where I don't like so you're not a big you I never thought of you you know I've known you a long time as like a big drinker I know you had a big coke past I do remember some of your coke days but when you give me four lines of coke yes and you're done you that's what I mean you have alcohol in your house it's done absolutely once I went to your house and there's four lines of coke and he said Joey why don't you just hang out here and I go what do you have to drink I got two cases of beer I got two bottles of whiskey after about two hours you're like I don't see Joey a drinker but he's giving me a run see I was the opposite I would drink eight nine beers and then I'm like hey this guy's got coke I'll do I was the opposite way

I would now when you do the coke I would the beer field now you were drinking I'm like water now I can basically go like this where you're dicking your hand yeah pissing them out it's amazing it's it really is once you have a gram of coke in your league you're basically drinking to hydrate and the body just pisses it out and I would literally like be like at a party or something like this and somebody would have you know a fucking gram or whatever the fuck like hey I left something for you in the back of the toilet you know that you know the top of the toilet put a little Kleenex over it or something like hey I left you a couple bumps or something and I would fuck it you know I'd be so drunk you know I got a whole bottle of Jack Daniels in me and I would

stumble to the bathroom and everybody would be like well that guy's probably gonna go in there and die puke I would do a couple bumps and I would come back out sober as fuck and now I can start over and now you know it would erase all that you would drink and now you could drink for two three straight days coke you know you go to like any any meetings or any 12-step program or any kind of rehabs or anything like that and people would be like that you'll always hear alcoholics or people that have a drinking problem be like the minute I found cocaine I was a ticking time bomb because now you're indestructible with your drinking you know now I could you know you could get drunk as fuck do two lines of coke and then start drinking again you know so it's like you know one hand

to wash the other and then it's you know nine months later and you know you're selling your car you know you suck a dick for fucking different I remember drinking shit that I would never drink sober oh that's the worst I'm like drinking gin on the rocks I would never drink that sober but when that cocaine's in your body burning you got to turn that fire down with alcohol I was gonna say how do these things so skinny I don't know I I've just always had the metabolism of a crack addict because I mean were you having all just straight liquor like shots what do you have actual drinks no I would usually go like jack and coax whiskey neat was another one of my go-tos just just put it in a glass fuck face you know I mean no ice no I don't have time for that bullshit I don't have

time for all the sugar from coke after a while I'll be Scotch neat whiskey neat but beers I would pound beers a little do's on the rocks absolutely we're fucking with a can of a bud a bud can cold now I don't even want the frosty mug take that frosty mug and shove it up your ass with the ranch dressing give me the fucking can with a fucking napkin around me I want my skin to stick to that fucking can that's how I called I wanted that's how cold when I was in high school there was a guy named Ernie who had a bar on 39th street by my boy they buried my mother's cemetery Ernie served anybody as long as you had cash Ernie served you and he used to give you those beers that look like a mug like a like a keg oh uh uh heineken's oh no no no heineken's has those

fat ones those little wrangles and we would fucking hang on his door at five in the morning and you could see him through the hole sleeping on the pool table and you get up what the fuck you want we want to give you two more dollars for a beer mister Ernie we need two cases who the fuck is this cocoa I was just here four in the morning all right come on I gave you a bump he was around the corner from where the flower guy was yeah I know you took us there I took us for the documentary oh really that's cool I took him to Ernie's Ernie's was a fucking that guy was he still alive this guy I don't fuck I don't even think Ernie's was open I don't think I think it's a spanish bar it's our nestos now uh-huh below some spanish bar our nestos so what morning

did you wake up and you said this is it I gotta do something you know it was probably it wasn't really just a more I think it was like a couple weeks of just like sick of shit being the same you know uh you know work on a on a on a tv show during football season the red zone channel that job was up my sub lease was up uh so I was like I had to get into apartment and I was crashing it on Tripoli's couch I was crashing to my girlfriend at the times you know it's just kind of like in this limbo you know I was going in like the store in the improv in the ice house every night just because I knew I could knock down a bunch of free booze just pissing through cash it just felt like groundhogs day every you know it's like the same fucking day the weather here was the same

every day everything just felt like the same fucking shit and I was like you know I had opportunity I go back to my old hometown right outside Chicago uh there's a there's a recovery house there that I knew from when I was sober before because I used to I was sober for like three years and then I started drinking again I went out for like two years and it was way worse second time than it was yeah the addiction grows oh yeah it was way worse and uh and I was just like having thoughts like man I should just fucking if I get a gun man I could just kill myself then you start thinking about the shit you gotta fur out before you kill yourself you know all this shit and I'm like what the fuck what this is fixable like I just need to go away

for a while you know so I was gonna leave for nine for 90 days I was gonna go with this recovery house and uh and uh and I wound up and so I wound up staying in my hometown for like another three months after being there and then so I didn't I did one gig with Renize easy first week I was in Chicago area uh because I already had it booked with them uh and then I started going this recovery house and then um I didn't do any gigs for like two two and a half months just going to two to three meetings a day I was seeing a therapist addiction therapist twice a week uh and then I was working at a habitat for humanity cold winter cold like two degrees without the wind just it would just it'd be one o'clock in the afternoon sun would be up and you'd look at the

moment and just say two you know like fuck uh building houses one house yeah we just did one house do the whole house the whole because I I did that in South Carolina but I was only there for like a week so like you were there for the entire no when I got there they were about like half done with it and when I left they were almost I think they they just finished it this week because a friend of mine just sent me a picture of it and shit that's what Hitler told the Jews it's habitat for humanity getting there you gotta build houses some buffets and shit everything's I think there's a I saw a unicorn in there it's awesome I'm fucking believable I'm fucking believable so you go to this habitat for humanity they pay no uh well I did two different things there one I

worked in this place called the restore where people would donate you know you get your kitchen redone you could donate or you could either try to sell all your old countertops or you could donate it to habitat for me and you get a tax write off and they will come pick it up so he's like a professional mover like every day I would you know one day a week I would do that and then we just have they're going to these four houses had a big ass fucking U-Haul truck that they own and then we would just go there and just haul shit I know that was brutal that was the worst because it was always somebody had a fucking grand piano they built the house around you don't know no clue how to get through any of these doors it's going on third floor you got a fucking shitty dolly you know

you don't want to not fuck up their stairs and it was just shit people wanted to get rid of and then there's snow on the ground ice one time we had to move a fucking piano out of a church basement they're gutting this church so they leave they're like going you guys take whatever the fuck you want just clear it all out because whatever you don't take we're gonna have to throw out she's going there we're there all day we're fucking moving on this shit the worst thing was this fucking one of you know those elementary school like they would like stand up pianos not a grand piano but it'd just be like a wall piano roll around yeah you think you could roll it around but we got to go up this fucking ramp like a like a handicap ramp going outside but it is

stone fucking full of ice I mean it's the dead of fucking February so we go out and I got a crowbar this other guy that I work with who's probably got about 90 pounds on you and you got about three inches on him right this guy and he's got a a a hammer so we got hammer and a crowbar when our hands and knees just breaking all this ice up so we can push this shitty fucking piano all the way up and then and then when we got it to the top of the drive where we had to get it up this truck with all this ice it was a nightmare it was a nightmare so I would do that and that would pay that paid so I got make a little money when I was doing that shit and then when you would when I would work on the house that was like volunteering so you're just doing drywall and

a lot of painting painting doors painting trim just any kind of shit there was like a contractor there just be like you know what do you want me to do today be like yeah go fucking paint that wall but if you just just do it you know and you just got me so out of it not only was it different shit I was doing I was around like real midwest people nobody was constantly on their fucking cell phone no one was wrapped up in their own shit no one's constantly asking me you about your resume you know you were just in real life but the weather was so different than 82 and sunny every day that it just felt like I wanted to feel like myself again really really that's really what I was really trying to get back you know I wanted to get some time under my belt of not drinking every day

or five days a week or whatever the fuck but I really just wanted to fucking feel like myself again like the the guy that moved out that was happy and hopeful and you know gave a fuck I didn't give a fuck anymore Joe you know what I mean I really quick given it fuck for about two months I loved the one thing you did you did the smartest thing that nobody ever thinks about everybody always is looking when I when I got fucked up in 92 I was really bad shape after my divorce I kept sitting and I could go what am I gonna do I can't I can't afford to live I mean I was in that borderline type of stuck that you can't even get out of bed yeah it was the beginning of a sort of depression but I still had enough money to do blow every night absolutely you know every

night I went downstairs and stole a gram from the fucking landlord I still had money to do blow you know I cracked up my car you find a way and I remember I said fuck this and I called my buddy go dog I'm lost I need for you to send me money for a plane ticket and I knew a guy and I bumped like 2000 Valium from my home I'll be back in a week I knew I wasn't coming back in a fucking week 2000 oh yeah he's like take this you can make 10,000 the only it was startup money yeah and that was it he gave me 2000 and this guy had killed somebody at some tavern he had just got a jail he was the locked guy at a boulder Chrysler Plymouth something and I became friends and he was one of those guys that like if I was 20 something he was 50 but he was still he still

listened to ACDC man he was a young 50 no he wasn't a young 50 he had shown heroin for 30 years of his life then did 20 years in prison he was out and now he had like two kids one was like two and the other one was four he was working as a lot man remember the type of people I try them want to be he when I saw him I'm like this is what I'm gonna end up being yeah you know I saw a lot of that too yeah you saw a lot of that there was a lot I mean I don't want to but you went home yeah and sometimes the best thing to do is go home go to your old bedroom walk around your neighborhood walk around your school to remember who the fuck you were dude that was so key that is so key and nobody does that no I'm gonna go something listen you want to get cleaned up go back to your neighbor

go to your grandma's school walk the stairs because what's gonna come back to you is what were you were thinking about at that age it's exactly what happened of who you want it to be totally happen now you're pounding nails every fucking nail you pound and cold you are now you're thinking about your life and when you went wrong yep it's quiet you have an iPod on whatever the fuck you got in your head and you're just nailing you know if I come to you when you're rehabbing like whatever it is drugs a girlfriend threw you out somebody died you want to don't get a job where you have to talk to people you want to think apply for a paint this job you come to work you smoke a fucking two salutes you put your little van hailing on you come up you tape the walls you

sand them you put the holes in and you buy yourself and sometimes and without the phone and without people calling you saying hey how much would you charge me for this gig yeah and without somebody come up to you and saying how funny you are how come you're not getting spots that shit will fucking wear on you dude and it was like two years of that that it really I mean it felt like because it was always feels like the same day in LA felt like four or five months but then every now and then some shit would happen ruby like oh fuck yeah that's it's been like just for two years like nothing's gonna fucking change if I don't change something the worst feeling in the world is to be stuck yeah Lee has issues we spoke last night you know I've always had issues with it

you know sometimes you're stuck in a comedy sometimes you're stuck it's stuck and you know when you're stuck relationship you know it's dog both fucking angles some reason to get pissed and stuck doesn't even really mean bad necessarily no no like though I called you last night because I was thinking about it I was up to like three in the morning just call it's crazy that I went to college and you have to do that now to get a job but now I'm 27 and I'm just now figuring out what I want to do and it's but it's I know what I want to do but not really because I know like because who knows how long podcasting is gonna last I'd love to do this for another 40 years but who knows what will happen so I'm just I was just thinking last night I don't know where I don't want to go

and I just I turn my TV off and I just I folded shirts for like two hours and I think I figured something out and we'll see but it's just it's it's I always knew what I wanted to do I went to college where if you didn't know what you wanted to do you if you wanted to switch majors you had to transfer because there's like two majors so it's just it's a it's a weird place for me I'm not used to being here being stuck in careers like you mentioned something really interesting which I want to talk to you about before I forget what year did we shoot that porno video huh which one the one we did by the pool where I got into the argument oh shit I forgot about me you Tripoli there was a nose Duncan oh my god it was me and Duncan that went to that and that it was at that

mansion right it was fucking you know there was another triply was that and Ahmed Ahmed Ahmed was I came with Duncan but Tripoli Tripoli was there Duncan performed too uh Duncan no no no we just knew you were performing because we were all that was like dude that was like 97 98 because we all had just kind of moved out here and started like you know getting to know who's who and we you were one of our favorites no Duncan I he was he was still Mitzi's driver he wasn't even town corner yet he was driving Mitzi around because Mitzi let him Mitzi sure who's on the comedy store Mitzi let him use her because she wasn't driving anymore at that point in time and Mitzi let him use her old Jaguar because his car broke down so he had Mitzi's like 1986

fucking Jaguar for about a year maybe two years she's just use it I don't use it just collecting diced so he was driving her like pimped out so we thought we were balling man it was we had a 10-year-old Jaguar we're driving in this mansion in the hills and watch Joey Diaz it was crazy that was crazy it was it was like a girl's gone wild like that's what they wanted to do yeah but was it like a comedy special no no it was like uh uh uh like there was girl gone wild with comedy sex shows yep there was girl naked topless girls playing volleyball in the pool ugly as fuck and the girls that were hot had clothing on they were like fake models that like an agency scent and I remember I kept saying shit to the one girl and she walked away she's like

fuck you or something yeah you got into it with you were hilarious oh my god we tormented this girl yeah because you knew she wanted to talk to us but she was acting stuck up and once I yelled at and called her a dirty bitch then I couldn't get her off me it was hilarious won't you insult a woman she was done she kept like coming over and the more she drank she'd give me the evil eye once they start giving you evil eye they're gonna suck your dick you know what I'm saying they give me like evil eye like he's got me this motherfucker I started tormenting her but there was a little room like a guest room there was a few of them and I remember the guy that came with his wife and was letting guys fuck his wife yeah uh-huh there's all kinds of shit like that shoot oh there was

all kinds of shit like that going on like it was a big compound like a huge house in the hills but it was at the top of this hill so in a pool they had a pool house they had the regular house and then they had all this food set up and free everything was free food was free drinks were free cocktails I told me if you come up we tonal be 20 joints fee in the trailer oh yeah there was 20 joints from me we smoked one after the other and there was another pound going around yeah so you would walk around smoking joints you take joints free everything was free how long were you there all day all day all day 11 to 9 it was like a giant pool party and they paid me like three four five hundred I met I met set it up yeah I met I met set it up yeah it was not I met I met I think

Sergio love might have been there Sergio love was there giving out that fake blow last time I was taking this shit I was thinking about Sergio love and Sergio love used to have the worst blow in the world the worst absolutely you didn't even know if it was working he would call me the next day and ask me how it was and I go it's great it's filled with amino acids that's why you're getting so big Sergio those things are just protein powders fuck you I just got okay whatever I would just torment him and so why would you buy it because it was coming at four in the morning I know it's the only fucking option you had you just roll the dice he was the last package of the night coke and it really was and sometimes he gave you a good batch sometimes I go and he'd be passed out

and I go in his pocket and like he charged me for one but I take three you know what I'm saying like shit like that Sergio was prices the best was the night he left me a a gram in the motorcycle pouch and when I went to the pouch a white chick came from the shadow she's like where's Sergio it was the scariest thing in the world it was the white chick that tried to kill herself at the county store the way way before you guys time there was a white waitress that was very sweet and she started messing around with the black manager that was hanging around there a couple years ago again oh that came back as a comic when he came back from Texas I have not seen him in a while a black manager and he was hanging out with your sea of somebody and he was hanging out with this white

chick and he broke her heart and she tried to kill herself and then she had to quit the store nobody remembers her name I asked my wife yet they know my wife remembers the situation it was kept hush hush at the store just got rid of her she went away Sergio bumps into at a bar and fucking Hollywood takes her home fucks the shit out of her now she's in love with Sergio of course so she stalking Sergio and it was she was in his garage hidden I hope in those days he'd say I'll leave you the coke in the pouch and have to open up his garage and go get the coke when she was already in the garage waiting for him guys almost had a fucking heart attack so the rumor was that Sergio had given the coke to Freddie the night he died I'd heard that yeah but the real story was that Sergio walked in as

Freddie was leaving Freddie was waiting for Sergio but him and his cousin went somewhere else to get the blow mm-hmm so the word on the street was that Sergio's coke had killed the little rumor at the commie store which that place is terrible for that shit terrible for everyone to kill him yeah Ari was mad at Sergio you know Ari till this day still not cool with Sergio he always says it's the coke he's always coked up but it's all because of Freddie so yeah because in the back but Freddie died from alcohol with the Valium's they said they didn't find that now that's what I'd always heard but then just going to the store a lot you hear those right yeah this place is terrible so at that time the longest yard had just come on I was on the road every week and when Freddie died I was on the

road I can't even go to the funeral all the wake and we're talking about a comic named Freddie Soto and I'll never forget I was just thinking about this last night he's the first person ever bring me up at the comedy store in the OR in the OR good kid and there's never a fucking Sergio called me in Atlanta one night I was in Atlanta at the before it was this club that it is not not the improv not the laughing skull before laughing skull that got kid the manager they had a different bar okay they had two comedy clubs one there one in Toledo Ohio and I was there for the weekend I was dying Teebo dying a slow death they were all Adam Sandler fans and they would see my set and run the fuck out of there did they were going to do like the Hanukkah

song oh my god I was horrible and I went back to my hotel room and I'm sitting there debating my life I had no blow and the phone rings it's Sergio love and I'm talking to Sergio and I'm like certain in the middle of all this I go Sergio I talk like I knew Sergio Sergio was my body I love I've known him for a very long time I love Sergio with all my heart and I go Sergio can I talk to you about something there's a word going on the street a rumor he's like what are you talking about listen there's a rumor that your coke killed Freddie he's like nah I didn't give it to him I go because it would be fucked up that for years I've been buying coke from you and the one night you get good coke motherfucker dies oh my god there was silence and all of a sudden we both busted out

because I kept I kept my fucking uh I I sold it yeah I'm like the one night you get good coke you kills fucking friend I remember man he used to this might be after you probably quit doing coke or whatever but he used to live in this like hotel like real almost like a high-rise Sergio yes on sunset okay I that was a big black building on sunset um kind of like east kind of by where the radial tower is you know that like yeah yeah or whatever the fuck that is a big black building but I guess there was condos in there something like that he was living in there and yet that's where his guy his hookup or whatever back in the day I'm not even sure that building is still functional but you would the parking garage is in the basement of it and you had to have this pass

code you know if you were staying at the hotel they would give you the code then you can push the you know four numbers and then you can go into the bottom garage well you would text you know you know what's up or what's the numbers or whatever they would know that you were looking for coke they would just text you the code you would pull right into this hotel type it in go into the little basement motherfucker standing right there just waiting for you for whatever you wanted and then you give them the you know give money you give you coke it was like a drive through how do you guys know the same dealer did you like hang out at the store well no he wasn't the dealer but you would get you could get coke from him because of his guy

but he's a comic he was a comic but anybody that does coke in LA knows some of the eventually you're gonna cross and know like oh yeah I know that dude I got some coke from that guy or whatever I used to have this English guy the name of English Dave he's like a pretty big like coke dealer back in the day in Hollywood this is like the late 90s early thousands and back at the coaching horses remember that bar yes did something else now but back then that was like a fucking great dive bar you know Gary Shanley a lot of people would just go in there because you could just hide in the shadows it's crowded with 40 people in there you can't even move it's a small dive bar but that's where this guy would always set up shop and he would always do the same gag to anybody

knew that was getting coke from him you know if you get a hook up and you be like yeah this guy's cool you know you have to introduce him the first time and then he would be like hey be cool just slide me you know give me the money under the under the bar you need hand him 60 bucks under the bar and then you know like there's people around so you gotta be really cool and then he would throw it on the ground and you'd be like you dropped your package right there you know what I mean and everybody would look and you would have to pick the coke up off the floor like a jackass he did that to everybody and every time you somebody knew it would come by you'd be like hey man get him with it you know I mean make him look like a fucking dick I fucking died if he did

that I think I'd kill him right down this guy you dropped your package you dropped your package I think one of the highest nights ever on coke I was in the coach in the horses I had gone from this is 98 I had gone for an audition downtown and I got lost and I ended up in Echo Park and I'm getting a flat tire I could feel it going puk puk puk puk puk puk puk puk puk but I'm like god damn I'm right there as I'm driving the park is I'm behind that Cuban neighborhood I didn't know it was a Cuban neighborhood then and I'm stuck out of light and all of a sudden I see two cop cars go they get out and they pull their weapons they shoot the fucking guy this is my first six months in their life maybe shit I see the guy go down then the police helicopter comes and also

the cop cars are coming up so I turn around I get out of there and I don't know who to call so I call Marilyn Martinez uh-huh of course well this goes this is what I'm gonna do I'm gonna send over Dave my husband Dave took the tire off took it right there and Echo Park up the hill there's a tire place with five bucks got a new tire and we got to talk and he goes have you met my brother in law he's a Cuban dude you just got out of the chair you want to go meet him I go yeah let's go over there we went over there guys like you snuck coke yeah because let me give you an eight ball how does this always happen to you this was crazy he goes if you like it come back he goes I charge like 125 for eight balls but it was all the way in Echo Park I take that eight

ball I go home I do two bumps of it it is out of this world oh shit it is like the best coke I've done in 10 years yeah I'm drawing I'm fucking seeing things I got two lines in me next you know I'm fucking going for broke I called Josh Wolf we go over there we start pounding over there we walk over to coaching horses and who's in coaching horses but Stan Hope and David Fulton I'll never forget going up to those guys and I could not sit there like when Stan Hope says to you a dog you better go outside that's a bad I remember smoking and the cigarette was moving with my jaw like it was just horrible I couldn't contain my that's like Miles Davis going man you're really black and I went and I fucking left there and walked to Vista with Josh Wolf lived on that street

and I had a car there yeah I had my car there and I went and I put the air on and I just pushed the seat back and I laid back there till four in the morning I must have had another two grams of my pocket I didn't touch it that coke carried me so it was that strong I sat there fucking jaw couldn't focus couldn't jerk off couldn't get a heart on I couldn't do dick I was so fucked up on that too that was my last coaching horse I was never really a big fortune I think in my whole life I was dead the night the chicks Mac Rogan in the face back when he the first year at a news radio he walked in there some chick went up to him drunk and started you know because only in this town would somebody taste television that seriously yeah they went up to him I wasn't even standing I was

like 10 feet away he was talking to like three girls and some girl was talking about a cat I'll never forget that conversation and the girl reached over and just smack Joe and Joe grabbed her hand and was like what the fuck are you doing and she went off about news radio that he had said something in his face that's when he didn't smoke pot I thought he was gonna crush her wrist with his eyes people don't remember those days yeah that he didn't smoke pot that way did he not smoke it he used to be so mean to us me and uptight and uptight you guys are gonna go smoke your dummy oh yeah smoke your dummy cigarettes and get stupid oh my god he's and then he started smoking pot when I quit and it's like I'm like I can't win with Joe Rogan I can't win with you can he used to

tour a man Ralph he may he used to ask is you want to come over to strip club no what are you guys gonna do sit here and smoke that shit that dummy shit you're fucking losers yeah or you don't know what you're missing cocksucker well now he does and now and now he's like oh you don't want to expand your mind you dummy I'm like I'm always a dummy with you why I can't win man I'm always a dummy now what made you when you know you were ready to come back um there's a combination of things um in August that uh working on uh writing on that football show starts back up okay um and you know I really wanted to get 90 days that was my goal I couldn't get 30 you know like for fucking a year so I was like man I just want to get 90 days and then once I got to 90 days I was like

I started booking gigs at Zaini's the laugh factory all these different clubs in Chicago I love that town so much and it's about a 40 minute train ride from my hometown uh shout out to Michigan City Indiana ride in Lake Michigan it's about a 40 minute train ride so I would take the train in the city start doing gigs but it it didn't I didn't want to just come back to LA start going to the comedy store start and just start doing the same old shit I was doing that was a big fear of mine I was going to come back and shit was just going to be right back to where it was and I was I would just lose whatever so it really was part of like sort of like let's say reinventing myself but feeling like my fucking self again that's why I started gigging you know

when I was 20 I started in Chicago started doing stand up there and I'm going to all these new clubs that up comedy clubs beautiful up there I love Zaini's one of my favorite clubs laugh factory was super cool to me so I was going in there doing you know one or two gigs a week and I was just loving it you know and now it's starting to turn to spring and everybody's in a fucking good mood and everybody's so happy and nice and in the weather's you know so I'm like I'm gonna stick around on the 4th of July you know so I left I came back like that maybe the 10th or 9th or 10th of July so once I got once the spring started coming it was getting really nice we're almost done with that house I kind of wanted to see that through and work through that job

and I was like I just randomly picked right after the 4th of July you know and then I head back so but yeah one it really was weather it was a weather started getting nice I have four months I remember when February 1st I did that gig with Steve run as easy I took the train in Chicago it was two o'clock in the afternoon I got off the train February 1st I'm walking up Michigan Avenue and I'm fucking looking at my phone to see what the temperature is and it was just straight up zero just nothing it was dead even zero degrees 31 mile an hour wind so it was like 22 degrees below zero and that whatever you didn't have covered I'd like fucking long johns on two pairs of socks two pairs of gloves a hat two scarves just a little

part of your face that maybe goggles could fit on if that was was covered wasn't covered it just felt like you were constantly getting slapped by someone with a big fat ass hand it was just like getting slapped in the face repeatedly why every step you would take so when once the weather started to get nice and I was you know now I'm doing gigs again I hadn't done gigs in like three months and that's the longest I've gone in probably a decade of not gigging you know and I had new material and I you know I fucking you know cut my hair and I fucking started you know went clean shaving and all this shit because I'm like you know my insides I felt different on the inside I didn't feel like that hopeless like I want to fucking put a gun in my mouth

there's nothing's gonna get any better I didn't feel like that anymore but every time I be brushing my teeth in the morning I'm looking myself I still look like the guy that used to fucking want to put a gun in his mouth so I'm like all right I'm gonna cut my hair I'm gonna shave I'm gonna fucking do all you know different things so I just look different on the outside because I felt different on the inside so when I was doing that the weather got nice I was like I'm gonna stick around here and and do some gigs in Chicago and do some clubs that I don't usually get to do regularly and everybody was so cool there all the different clubs are just like you know call let me call the veils in and like you know as long as you're here man you know just hit us up let us

know what day you're in Chicago so sadly it'll be six months yes sir and how do you feel the truth us as men how do you feel uh I feel oh I feel good I feel good you know I'm not gonna sit you want to go to a comedy store have a cocktail get your dick sucked uh that's the bottom line I'll take the latter uh of course I want to give the next but you know I can't there's just shit you know if I if you if I want things to be different I have to do different things that's the way I see it so if I want to come back here go to the comedy store when I don't have a spot get there at eight leave at three do that five nights a week that's what I was doing so if I start doing that shit again I'm gonna feel like that again I'm not a whiner and I'm not saying this in any negative form

part of me leaving the store wasn't Tommy it wasn't Rogan it was I just had to go it wasn't helping my addiction I had to go one thing about the store that if you notice about the store a lot of people go in and they get fucked up when I first got here there was two kids that were the nicest sweetest kids in the world I forgot what their fucking name was it doesn't really matter and one was a door guy and we talk and we'd smoke dope and they'd tell me about how we got an agent and and you know and all of a sudden next thing you know he's teamed up with three other fucking morons they were young kids and they're drinking and I would get to the store at nine you know trying to get a full out because my spot was at 12 30 I was a loser I had

nothing else going on absolutely and I go to the store at nine and I'd have my coke in my pocket and I'd start drinking for free and once I got off stage that's when I hit the coke sure and I seen these three kids just get sucked in yep and next thing you know I asked where's the one kid and they said you don't know what happened he OD on heroin in the back where they have the VIP down the back I know you're talking about your deed back there I know there was Larry Vazio was part of that crew I know exactly you're talking and I seen and you know you heard the stories of Kenison you heard you know that place was a haven of death from 80 to 94 or something and when I went in there I'm not fucking blaming the comedy store at all but you're there and it's there

and it's 20 bucks and you're with friends and you're having a few drinks and you're talking about comedy and you know what I don't really like talking to people but you give me three lines I'll talk to a fucking homeless guy for an hour about the history of fucking the United States or the movie slash or whatever the fuck it is you know how his boner has stick matter yeah so uh it did really when I wanted to stay clean I knew the comedy store wasn't gonna it felt like I was going back to the place that took me down in a way like I was like you know what yeah just something about that place I gotta stay out there I gotta find Joey again yeah you know my my recovery I did it in my apartment there was no money there was no flight to Jersey this last time this was going

to bed at nine and forcing myself to go to bed so the addiction wouldn't wake me up at 10 30 and it did a couple nights of course addiction will wake your fucking shit up and go and go and one drink bro absolutely it's fine and uh I'm very fortunate that yes I smoked marijuana and yes I'll have I had a Irish cream on the flight the other day and I was fucked up on those stars I was hitting this vapor pen I might as well get a fucking Irish cream right I'm an Irish cream can't you can't get hooked on every lady kept coming back when you want another one I might know it's a Bailey's yeah I know Bailey's are right with a couple ice cubes in the morning is delicious it's like someone would be an addicted to acid it's like no there's no way so that's the extent of my

drinking but uh I'm very happy I'm very happy for you because I gotta tell you something you have no idea what's coming down your road if you stick this and you don't want to teach listen if you smoke a hit and I'm not gonna judge you it's the devil that got you to that dance that you really have to focus on sure in my world when I sat down I said listen we never made me go to the ATM at 6 o'clock and cut and run red lights absolutely because at 8 o'clock T-Ball my insides would burn T-Ball my insides would burn I can't even describe but I couldn't even think I remember my wife talking to me about life and what's coming on at 9 30 I couldn't even hear the extra things you know it was nice and eventually I just had to get up and I'd make believe I was doing something

and I took the ATM card and run to the routes rock and roll routes and I'd take $60 out and I'd go to Dee's house and pick up 60 bucks all compadre and pick up four packages and once I had it in my hand that released the anxiety now the anxiety was gone I can relate to that and I got to deal with the 1115 spot and it's only 845 I would count the minutes count the fucking minutes so I would you would never do below before you went on no I would take go home drop two packages off at the house and take one in my in my pocket and I put in my top thing right here and I do get three 20 you get three separate 20 but I'd rather get what okay 60 or 20 but here's the beauty of it I would go up there what's the biggest rumor about me talk he leaves right after the set you know that's how you knew

there wasn't a hello there wasn't a picture it was basically outline of smoke where your body used to be like get the fuck away from me it's over Joe Rogan will be furious where Joey go that's red band where Joey go that motherfucker I was the king there was no way I wanted to hear what you had to say about my set comedy whatever the fuck you thought I didn't give a fuck I would get that I would pull out of the economy store cross over to the middle lane make the left at the house of blues and pray for that light to be yellow as I was going down the hill because that would give me three minutes to go in my pocket take the bin first off before I crossed sunset I really had a dollar bill rolled up in my hand oh yeah and as I was driving

east on fountain I would just be doing the 20 until by the time I got to Hollywood to La Brea by the time I got no I would live in Hollywood then so but I would drive on whatever what's the road you fountain fountain yeah and once I hit La Brea I throw the $20 bend a lot the window I was on fire done with it now was a race to get home to take a shit and to hit the rest of that coke I would see there was times where I in my life and at a coke run of about I don't know six or seven years of like I said I was really just to enhance my drinking so it's never but I can relate to everything you're saying I had dudes that like if I went to coach and horses and I would just see uh uh English Dave I'd see him sitting at the

bar even if I just popped in there for a fucking afternoon pint or something you know I fucking go in there for the Budweiser whatever it doesn't matter pop in there for a drink I see him sitting at the end of the bar I immediately would have to shit yeah oh yeah that's the you see the coat guy oh my god you would just see him and you would have to shit you'd be your insides would be so excited that you were going to do blows it's funny and I wasn't even planning on it I didn't wasn't even planning on seeing him and I would make eye contact with him and I'd be like oh no now we're gonna talking to you makes me think about my addiction where it was in 94 95 that was one of the best parts of my addiction because I was divorced I was miserable I was in pain I was

alone and I was like a squirrel what's those animals that gather nuts okay so let's pretend for some reason I found 200 bucks Vince would give me a fucking eight ball and I would front the gram in those days when Vince can mean it because as long as I cash for the eight ball who's the grandpa it's for Jason he's over later gal you see tomorrow I still owe Vince $1800 I'm waiting to find I thought he would come to my shows in Denver he's still won't fucking I love that kid with all my heart but let's pretend I already had Vince figured out and it was two in the afternoon I'd watch TV till about four and at four I'd make my liquor run that's an addict I'd make my liquor run to this place in Boulder I would go to most bagels you know the turkey sandwich or Swiss

cheese a tomato and mayonnaise and salt and pepper heavy on the pepper and I'd go next door and I'd spend I'd buy whatever I'd buy two six packs of enough to get you to tomorrow two two two six packs of fat time in those days what was I drinking what was the heavy shit I was drinking I forget what the fuck it was gin and tonics maybe okay so by ball of gin and a ball of tonic and a couple lines lines I get a couple of airplane bottles of tequila I mean this is what I take oh yeah yeah because I knew I think you're going to a fucking bar mitzvah or something like nah it's just for me hilarious hilarious for 24 hours and I would yeah I would get some talker I would get the coke around nine o'clock the eight ball and the extra gram which would be four and

a half fucking grams that that'll kill a normal person that's what five people do yeah that's what five people do what do you think make I was gonna ask people earlier what do you guys think makes an addict because some people might listen to this like I drink eight beers and I'm fine I think what I'm telling you right now what we're both telling these stories make you a fucking addict I think the obsession of the mind I think the the fact that you obsess about it when it's not around the anxiety that you discussed Joey and then I think it's like I really do because I know people that drink as much as I did sometimes some of them maybe even more but their life is fine the life is manageable they're they can just do that well they have control yes and I and I appreciate those

people but somewhere along the line it becomes the priority for me yeah drinking like I used to have a father-in-law my ex-wife's father-in-law you know he was a lieutenant colonel but if you caught him after seven that motherfucker be slurring seven nights a week yeah and he went to church on Sundays didn't curse in his home didn't drink then smoke you know he drank but he hit those fucking whiskies and by seven he'd be slurring did he have a problem was somebody gonna tell him in his school and his day and age there was no alcohol problem he didn't go out and drink in a fucking car right that's it nobody knows he was he already had all the money he wanted the only insurance company what I call him an alcoholic I'm not sure I don't he was in the nobody he

never hurt nobody never called you and tortured you he never did nothing like that well you consider yourself addicted to weed then because that sounds kind of like absolutely okay listen you know how much of this weed gets me high how much I'm sober already no you're not look at me don't lie I swear to god I think he's I would just think so I'm telling you as your friend I'm sober this weed does I'm looking at this shit and I'm when I go home I'm packing this up this does nothing to you but destroy your lungs this fucking whack shit this somebody this just destroys your lungs I'm just doing it as a joke I'll never do that again this shit isn't lately like last two or three months why you think I was smoking two vapor pensia damn fucking TV because this shit you know my next

level is to do a lot of heroin but I won't this shit ain't doing nothing for me I enjoy the action I'm an action junkie the last 10 years I did coke you really think I enjoyed hiding in a bathroom with no dick looking at a mirror picking my fucking scabs that there's nothing in there I feel there's a coke rock in my face see that's the same thing like I would give no fucking idea you know you're like earlier you were like yeah man you're you know you're a good social drinker I'm not a big drinker but you're the kind of guy I would like to go out and party with and you know a lot of my friend you know red man Jason Glearn a lot of people I love are like dude you're fine man you're fine I'm like no you and I quit drinking together at one you go home

I go and drink till six in the morning by myself I'm not fine you know I mean maybe the two hours you and I knock down a six pack together I'm fine at 115 you're already thinking about I got to get out of here because I got to catch the liquor store before it closes at 150 150 a month if I'm at the comedy store at 150 and you know they're like hey you want to go on and fuck around with Don Bears and at the end of the night I'm like I got to hit this fucking pink dot I got 10 minutes to go get a 12 pack or you know what I mean or I'm fucked how much money would you spend the night do you think well I was the king of I mean you know and you know the deal dude you really get good at spinning your addiction into into free I I could I could get I probably averaged 10 free

drinks a night just by knowing bartenders comedy story a couple of my buddy bartender on Hollywood even in 12 packs like what 15 bucks but that's it at the end of the night yeah that's it he dropped 10 and he drank 55 fucking drinks 20 shots he smoked 18 joints at the store he did three bumps somebody offered you met somebody offered to take your home and let you pet the I mean when you went to this I mean I would there was nights I didn't have a spot and I go I'm going down to the store to hustle as I was leaving I see Mars your brownie Mars throw me a 50 till Friday Joey you got to follow me the ATM machine that's fine I follow him to the ATM take a 50 go back to the store bump into somebody goes Joey I have something for you gotta grab a chewy chewy I'd

have a grandma blow for you somebody would come up and go I gotta have grandma blow for you for free then somebody go I got weed for 20 bucks the 60 50 I borrowed from him so now I just went up there with a zero I'm home already with 30 a grandma blow and a fucking eighth of weed a 20 dollar bag of weed yeah that's all I needed for the night I would go out with $20 I'll come back with $15 hammered and I got three joints in my pocket at the store Tuesday through fucking Saturday 10 years ago I was drunk every fucking night yeah I would wait till I do my set and then I'd go crazy because he'd make me fucking doubles that were the size of fucking you know what's going on with Tony buddy you're gonna play him sometime this fucking yeah cocksucker

it's a beautiful day to be alive I'm happy t-bow that you uh did what you did you're gonna see what happens thank you buddy I hope it's fucking amazing once you get the mentality that man I could really go for a drink and you're like I put working yeah I put working yeah that's why people you can go on a diet and count your calories go to the gym that'll make that fucking sandwich isn't there because you know leave it leave it yeah dog yeah dog yeah I might have to eat that 500 milligram with you to take it to a nice limit because you ain't high either oh yes I am that cooking is good to you huh that cooking is good to you well the wax and the joint did and then the cookie did what about the what about the

fucking electronic puffer thing yeah that's the the the wax I think but I'm totally willing to believe that Joey is not stoned anymore that's and you look like you might be a little stoned still this actually isn't really that look this is halfway not kind of no this isn't bad that wasn't bad let's eat that brownie thank you let's make this a fucking celebration it's like when they beat up that guy in good fun it's a celebration well it's crazy to go because you came home like Joey we've talked about it a lot how many people leave and never come back oh yeah like that's crazy that you came like most people don't I mean it was always my intention to come back but yeah I can see I can absolutely see why people would come here and fucking lose it

and be like you know what fuck this fuck these people fuck this place fuck that place fuck this town you know I mean I could definitely relate to that did any part of you think you were gonna say uh maybe five ten percent you know once springtime rolled around and I was loving that city so much because I do love Chicago and the clubs are so nice and the people are so friendly you know so many pretty girls and everyone's so different I was kind of like I could see myself live in here man this is a nice ass fucking town we'll go right walk around town great restaurants do you go to Wrigley I've always wanted to go to Wrigley oh yeah of course you've never been to Wrigley or have you ever been to Chicago um no I'm from from Boston so I've been to Fenway and I've been to Camden

and then the Daughters so that's I'm gonna go to Wrigley you're gonna hate me Chicagoans I'm gonna tell you what the best meal I had oh you were just there in Chicago well I went to this place that was cool I love this place it's easy it's Italian small marios it's downtown I'm gonna do the first thing got the fried diabolo the shrimp with the fucking calamari and the mussels delicious and when the next day and got the steak I love the suvio delicious with a side salad delicious water I didn't touch the bread I'm gonna tell you what the best meal I had was oatmeal cooked in coconut milk what oh my god Lee didn't you have an Italian beef too no I didn't have an Italian beef really this big it was this big when she brought I looked at it on the menu

I gotta taste that where was it is at the same place it was down the corner it was it's Carlson Gracie's old name but this jujitsu master and that's where he used to go to breakfast everybody says it's a really good breakfast and that's all it was we just oatmeal cooked in coconut milk with coconut drizzles on top and sliced banana like a mother fucking soldier I'm looking to buy some coconut milk this weekend try I'm gonna go online I'm gonna know how to make that I mean fucking delicious guys if I told you I went to Chicago and the best thing I was oatmeal you would take him in right in the fucking balls I remember one time you know Joey texted me the address of the studio today and I was so scared as I was like all right man can't wait to do it

I was texting back but then I'm like man should I text him I texted Joey about I don't know shit six years ago five years ago I was doing a show at the ice house and I was booking it and I said I fucking text Joey I'm like hey man I'm sorry to bother you just want to know if you want to fucking do my show Friday at the ice house if you're in town I'd love to have you I wish I had like the the uh law and order sound effects like done done done yeah you never take my phone rings my phone me I hit stand my phone rings it's Joey Diaz I'm like oh shit cool he's calling me back to tell me if he can okay do what a polite thing to do I answer hey what's up Joey listen to me cocksucker you text me we're not two 14 year old Asian girls here you call me

like a man motherfucker you ever text me again I'm gonna smash your thumbs with a hammer I was fucking pissed I hate that shit smash your thumbs with a hammer I think I fucking shit my pants when he did and I really just didn't want to bother you with a phone call so I was like he can get back to me at his own accord just let me know if you want to do it phone rings right away I'm like hey just listen to me fuckface I was like oh no so then we're I'm doing my I do a podcast with Ari and Tripoli called punchjunk so I'm doing punchjunk the next fucking day I go oh by the way I texted Joey Diaz about doing my show and they both go oh shit oh you shouldn't have fucking I go yeah nobody told me this I didn't know he had this rule you don't text me fuckface how's punchjunk doing

it's great man down there and do it you guys been doing it for a while every Tuesday noon to two and it's just sports I mean it's probably 20% sports I've had people say they fuck around the rowzy on there yeah we have a lot of people callers gsp george st pierre calls in the Diaz brothers uh uh dice clay you know different people call in and and they have you know stories to tell but you know really when we started it you know because all three of us are doing podcasts and different things and we were always being in the store parking lot talking you know kind of yeah you see the game last night it was fuck the Lakers whatever and you know we'd have an hour conversation that would start with sports but then it's just like you know what's up with you

and this chick I saw last night it just gets into regular shit so we were like that'd be a funny idea for a show of three comic friends you know all three of us been friends for 16 years of like let's try to talk a little sports but I'm sure it's going to get into a fucking you know just regular life shit so you know we probably 30% sports or something like that you want meetings in LA yep not in LA not in Hollywood but in LA I hear the Hollywood meetings are fucked up oh there's some good ones good ones yeah there's some good ones uh but yeah yeah yeah just all you know west side how did they make money because I was I went to diagostino's birthday on magnolia and there's a an AA meeting right next door and like it's a place it's a place that does meetings

all day and you take donations you pass a basket around those places do meetings all the time they do yeah usually a place will let you sort of I thought it was in the church but some of them okay yeah there's like 2000 meetings a week in LA so I Facebook somebody maybe four years ago this is a true story Facebook them they were very close to me and one day something came up missing and right away they pointed their finger at me I was very hurt about it 20 30 years past I always thought about them you know I contacted the sister she hit me back but I contacted the one sister and the one brother didn't hit me back when I went to Miami to the two girls showed up but the cousin didn't show up I was very tight with the cousin the other day the fucking phone rings a Miami call

I'm busy doing a podcast when I get home I forget the call and I check Facebook and it was him who I you know I mean we grew up together yeah very fucking painful that he his family accused me it was fucking bad but what was it that's stolen if you don't I'm asking there was a watch or a fucking ring or rings I don't remember what I get home I get over there they're like you're not allowed here no more there's what happened get your stuff you gotta go this is a you know I hadn't known these people all my life they knew my parents it was very sad and trust me I was no angel at the time this was this went on because I was involved in other things and sometimes karma smacking reputations for something I was really hurt it made me go on

a tan and then my uncle it made me go on a drug tail I was door I was living in a spaceship at a park you know those parks that have the kids spaceship yeah I was living under the spaceship yeah I was bad Teebo I've had my bachelor addiction sure and I love talking about it because talking about it helps other people they don't feel that shitty about their lives yeah I was there you know I was smoking there was a time that I figured out you know what I'm spending too much money on blow I'm the way home at night on in between sunset in Hollywood Selma yes by the where the fucking people dressed like superheroes yeah yeah yeah orange and Selma they used to sell crack there tons I mean you'd drive there at one there'd be 10 black dudes out there running to your car

I didn't know one night I was looking for blown when I pulled up and the guy goes you're looking we made eye contact he gave me a chunk I went home I tried to snort it I went I got dizzy and shit and I told my friend that thing was that wasn't blown that was crack stupid so I said that wasn't a bad chunk for 20 bucks I smoked what I had at the house I got fucked up so for six seven eight weeks I smoked crack taste that's a hard one I go home and tell Terry go to bed she'd wake up and go what does that smell and I go it's the weed and she goes I smell your weed for years I never smelled weed that bad she knew I would smoke it out of a coke can that's how crazy I was so I smoked weed out of a coke can no crack out of oh no I'm just saying the coke can pipe I would tell her it

was weed but I put crack in there and I'd smoke and I mean I'd done some dirty my nails used to be fucking filthy in those days from touching the crack in a lot of ways you're lucky to be alive yes but this is what it gets to this is the worst because I always felt bad about this I always felt bad the first day I read about Whitney Houston's daughter the first day I read about that I knew exactly what happened I knew exactly what happened I knew it didn't take a genius you know and and they whatever and they kept talking after the first month I knew she was dead it was just a matter of time sure but it gave me time a lot of time to think you know and I'm after my mother died for like two or three years I could not jump off a building as bad as I wanted to or I could not

shoot myself as bad as I wanted to so subconsciously the reason why I I could smoke as much as I do because at the age of 15 and 16 I did everything enormous amounts I wanted to die but I didn't have the balls to do it so I would eat those kwelews you know those fucking kwelews are strong especially back in your 16 they're fucking strong dog you drink a bottle of vodka with a kwelew you're playing in a certain fucking neighborhood that's like you know there's a lot of people and I mean you look at my eyes and there's veins that pop those are from nights with kwelews you could feel the heat in your head and shit listen man and at that time I was just I had a pain that was intolerable it was the pain of losing your mother and wanting answers you know and not just

losing a mother but losing your world because she was Whitney was a world but also in that world came a lot of bad things that came in my world you know at the age of fucking the seven I knew my mom did blow it was very embarrassing and I would go to play with kids and they would go what's that thing about cocaine I would have to sit there and not say a word what are you covering me what do you got an anthem to your hand what what do you got in the hand put your hand nothing why is your hand there all creepy like you're holding the fucking scorpion or something that is what it looked like yeah move a little closer spider yeah the way there you go so I saw my mom do drugs I saw you know I'd have a piñata at my birthday parties and the second piñata

she would put cocaine vendors in there for the adults really and she would tell me get on the floor if you see an aluminum foil pick them up and bring them back to mommy I mean I knew my mom so blow we had the bar that was what those Cubans did at the time sure so living with that I never wanted to do blow but then I a month before she died maybe two weeks before she died I did fucking blow and I remember I had it for like two or three months and I was like I'll never do this I'll sell it I think I sold some of it but I kept one one afternoon I said I'm taking this out with me I knew exactly what the fuck I was doing yeah because once you see your hero do something you're gonna do it okay you know you see your parents drink your parents send you to your

aunt's house on the Friday night you come back Saturday morning they're fucking hung over your dad's like I'm not playing with you today I'm on the couch son whatever what'd you guys do last night how we drink you see empty beer bottles you know then when you turn 13 you want to do it you know people don't know that if your heroes do something our parents are our fucking heroes so if you see your parents drink you're gonna fucking drink if you oh you're gonna think it's okay to drink sure you know I never want to be a drinker but my parents do it it might be okay you know I'm saying sure totally this poor girl lost her world and yeah she had the father but Bobby Brown is your father it's like having me as your fucking father you know no you're a good

father at that point for him he was fucked up he raised that girl fucked up that girl was raised on a fucking plane with a nanny giving the money what when Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown did blow who took care of that kid I'm fucking nanny and not doing blow too that was getting two thousand a week and a couple lines for taking care of the fucking kid and she might sing or something who do you think that I mean these people snort and fucking blow a lot these these were fucking real party people you know they were in Miami what do you think that kid was so your kid knows what's going on what do you think that kid was gonna do what do you think my mother thought I was gonna grow up to do you think I was gonna be a fucking doctor I saw you do blow I found

blowing the fucking basement I found bales are we in the basement what the fuck do you expect me to do blowing pinatas I found blowing fucking pinatas the point being that she was my world my mom I didn't have a dad you know she was my world same thing they pulled the plug I can't describe to you the pain I was walking around and I didn't know it till this girl died yesterday when she died I broke down yesterday because I knew what she felt it just brought it back I remember what she I remember you know I used to why I used to get fucked up and go to the house where I found my mother and I'd sit on the stairs hoping hoping that maybe this was all a mistake yeah maybe my mom opened the door and go get the fuck in here where the fuck have you been for a month you dumb

fuck yeah like that's how delusional I got in the back of my mind when you get that when you bury somebody you see him in a casket for five days but when somebody that big in your life goes it's like a dream like you're like it's going you know eventually I'm going to wake up and my mom's gonna make mistake and eggs like she always did yeah the phone rings you're like oh that that's my mom oh shit it can't be it wasn't I just remembered this years ago when I started riding I would go at first like the first two weeks three weeks after she died after I moved in with the benders the electricity was still on I think the electricity stayed on till about January and during the holidays I would go over any afternoons after school and just sit there

hoping that she'd walk through and I could hear the mic the mice had taken over the house I would sit on the chair and just it was a silent house I wouldn't put the TV on I just to hear her maybe she was in the basement cooking getting something this is a misunderstanding this is how delusional I got sure so I know what that little girl was when she was doing those drugs man she didn't want to live without her mother I didn't want to live without I didn't want to go without my mother man so I in hindsight now I really understand the diction that's why I wanted to have you on the show you know people would come to me and say and I would ask about you I always asked about Tebow now he's drinking you know whatever Tebow's gonna get it together

if I got it together these guys could get it together they're more decent than I am I wasn't no genius I took me fucking till 44 to realize so your way ahead of the curve yeah and you I can't when I meet somebody and I'm like I have a friend Jody who's a great girl and and she just 42 she's single you know you call her at 11 Tebow she's hammered yeah hammered you can hear it I could believe but she's my friend I'm not that a judge but in my mind I'm thinking Jesus Christ when is this gonna end yeah when is she gonna take this seriously because I didn't want to be Ray Charles I didn't want to get clean and sober a 60 fucking one right you know off heroin a blow I didn't want like I told Joe Rogan I didn't want people pulling Joe Rogan going I told you I told you he was a

fucking junkie I didn't want to die in Houston I didn't want my wife to find me on the floor one morning she could never I didn't want all these things well you remember when uh when uh Mitch had Burke died absolutely um when he died you know and everybody that that knew him or knew his wife or you know any part of his life or whatever when he died when you got when anybody got that call nobody was like what happened everyone was just like where would they find him you know what I mean no one was like oh he got hit by a car he got well you know plane crash how did he die everybody knew how he died so no when you know when you somebody would call and they were like amen Mitch died you'd be like where you know I noticed that no one ever said how

everyone just said where I was and I didn't want to be that guy I didn't want to be a guy that died at 48 and when people heard they're like where'd they find him or you know drinking and driving or whatever the fuck you know what I mean it's like you know a lot of it's just like give yourself a fucking chance man give yourself a fucking chance and it's like earlier when you're saying you're stuck you know if you're stuck all that really it doesn't mean you're fucked it means you got to change something something has to change if you're stuck you know it's the only way you get unstuck you sit on your right of plan you had a great plan Tebow I take my fucking head off to you man that's the way I would do it a lot of people hope if I ever was to do

a line again my life within three days later I know for a fact I mean it's like if I have two drinks so I'm having 20 no there's no like I said at the beginning of this podcast I'm like there's no sense in having two drinks to me never was never will be there's no sense where's our friend where's your ex-girlfriend that was clean and sober what the fuck happened to her I don't know I'm not sure what she's up to we haven't talked to anyone anybody's seen her I saw her for a couple weeks I'm talking about the big yeah yeah yeah yeah I never saw her again in a club I for years I saw her out I don't think she does a lot of clubs stand-up gigs I mean she'll do bar gigs here and there I'll see them on Facebook or some shit but she not didn't end well let's just say that

our ending wasn't didn't end well I haven't seen her I think about I thought that she had a lot going on mm-hmm I know she got a couple good jobs or something the last couple months yeah I know she really works to program yep she really works to program you know so I know she would always teams like I said man I wanted to have you on if you could tell your story I'm glad to do your podcast anytime I know a lot of people who like you T-Bell and a lot of people when I go on the road people ask me about you so I know this is in your future if you really give this a chance and really go you know what if I gotta break down I'll fucking smoke a number with sand mm-hmm and I'll keep this under control and my friends will watch me but uh like I said I don't

ever want to feel like I did on that blog and the last ten years was such a waste I just did it because I my dick got hard when I drove down the street made it left turn you know my dick got hard when the action I for years I missed that fucking criminality so this was my replacement I missed jumping through the windows I missed fucking scoping on T-Bow as soon as T-Bow fucking leaves Lee calling me I'm gonna go break into his window and take two pounds of coke from him I missed action that cocaine gave me action now that I think about it I fucking hate it I would look at myself and I'd pick my face and cry and fucking be sick to my stomach you know that this thing had such a fucking grip on me yeah and it's also I think that's another thing of addiction it's like when

you're on it you you don't see things for what they are you know I'd be like hey man everybody's loving me and this is great and then it's like you're like you're annoying the fuck out of everybody you know I do podcast hammer people like you wouldn't shut the fuck up don't even do what the fuck you were talking about not letting other people talk you're not even listening it's like but that's not how I saw it in my head you know what I mean so then when you look back on hindsight you're kind of like well fuck man I don't want to be that fucking guy my brother uh my heart goes out to you I'm very proud of you and I want you to know I was always a dear friend to you I just didn't know where you were coming from if you ever need

anything we're here for you I know you're the best let me give you some shot I'll get shot I'll give you a ride to the train and we'll abandon ship Lee how you feeling cocksucker I'm good you want to smoke some more of these vapors not really do you always this party never ends with mad flavor how you gonna act you know how you're fucking you're doing good though you're looking to me you're looking good with your little purple shirt trying you got sponsors you bitch mac and motherfuckers I went to redondo beach have you been there for the for the shrimp huh have you been to redondo beach yeah I go down there on my bicycle once a week cocksucker yeah redondo beach I got time to go to fucking redondo beach all right that's what I need that

time to eat oatmeal in Chicago and not going to tell you because it was down the fucking block from the house and they don't have an Italian I could have walked I went around the corner to Italian beef it looked like your fucking asshole that's the color of it would you eat that Italian beef by two fucking Mexicans would you do that no mr. beef was closed by yeah I just didn't get to oh I know that is I'm I'll eat mr. beef if I gotta settle for anything mr. beaver Al's yeah Al's so I wasn't close to them I was on fucking downtown and it looked they made gyros at the same place they made it beef and they made like french fries and it was it it was a fucking regular fucking dump so I didn't want pastrami once you have that many combinations yeah two

Spanish pizza Chinese food yeah no no no no no there wasn't really nothing good in that area except marios and then I went to rosemont tell them what's in rosemont oh god so they have a gas station they got a focal to fucking chow across from the comedy club I wasn't doing 70 bucks they two ounces of meat you know a focal to chow you gotta smoke 55 joints to make it worth your why no shit it's not a 70 bucks a piece yeah you gotta go in there hungry hungry as fuck and then after you then you get your money's worth but then you're fucked you know after you eat 20 pieces of garlic beef and you're like this is great now you gotta sit there for an hour and go I don't know if I can drive home I don't know if my guts are gonna come out of my fucking ears because you know you're

gonna drop a fucking shipment of money let me give this readout first one to my man DS Dorchester for referring uh one day as a line I hadn't heard that in a while you bad motherfucker abraham.baya whatever your fucking name is abraham baya dyah you know I love you smiley smiley mike jones jr kevin night talking lair clio get a hold the lead I got two weeks off let's pick a day and do this fucking podcast James Trolls and my main man showed up to the show brought me a book he brought gave me some cigars I gotta give you a little stuffed animal I love cigars bobble lingus and his beautiful father and they include the shirts I love bobble lingus and it's funny Friday night you start meeting these people on the road and you communicate with them

on facebook or gmail and they send you little gifts and you can tell where they're coming from you love them the genuine it's funny that Friday night I was like I didn't fucking see Bob that's fucking weird I didn't talk to him on facebook I didn't talk to him man maybe he doesn't know and sat in on him on stage and I looked down and there's Bob and his dad right in front of me I felt like shit and I was fucking I didn't have any anxiety that night I just went straight up there what's up with you cock liquor and then Sean Tierney sent us this uh Bruce Lee shirts all that to Bruce Lee shirts thank you brother some fucking green tea to clean out the system the adrenals you're going to a kettlebell class with me tomorrow 11 o'clock we're gonna go have a good

time over at V-MAC it's gonna be fun six people already signed up for tomorrow but he's got like an eight pound weight to train you with just to teach your form okay and what you could do is you go to a couple weeks just go to a kettlebell class and then just stay for a sound and you're done for the weekend you'll walk around so for two days it's a fucking long work but it's something different brother that's true you're a 27 year old man how long is the class four hours but you do a lot of stretching you do a lot of sit-ups two hours you just two hours and you do a lot of shit there so just get used to the kettlebells and then go to jujitsu on Thursday this week and you start going there twice a week once for jujitsu once for kettlebell and then one day when

you're ready to go you swim Jim Magoo you go fucking I'll do the kettlebells I can't do both I won't walk on Wednesday and Thursday I didn't walk on Wednesday and Thursday after the kettlebells I didn't work out till Friday it's really cool watching the UFC now that I started jujitsu and it was cool for me like I didn't understand it like I still in class when I'm drilling that the mistake I'm making is I'm going too fast yeah John Budd said you move well on the floor he goes for a little stocky little spinning motherfucking juice but it's not good because well you get good but then I was watching the UFC and they're there for like a minute like 30 seconds just getting like I like you don't have to do it right away right no don't work it work it and work it but what

you're doing is you're putting pressure on your opponent so that leg is on his leg like that's what I'm messing your leg is on his thigh and he can't move his thigh he's locked you got 200 pounds on his thigh so now you're just going not that leg and you're playing like a hand thing and everything you go for he's got to react so one time he's gonna make a mistake and that's when you push and then you take it from there what are we doing the fucking jujitsu lesson here sure I love you that's right I love you I love you coming up you know I know you I know Sam is revamping the show and you guys are doing it at a hotel in Hollywood at the W yeah at the W so that's gonna happen pretty soon that's gonna be rocking yeah that's gonna be awesome are you are

you doing it he called me and he didn't give me a date he goes I like you to do it okay I've always you know I look at you I think it's august 19th I'm not sure it could be somewhere in there fucking young kids and I was an old guy and now we're all getting older but the most important thing is we're still here yeah and people have bounced back listen man what's that dude that plays fucking Robert Downey Jr that guy got caught in a room in Venice right fucking Batman suit jerking off on coke that's how at the end of his addiction he was bought yeah that's what I was doing he got pulled over in his Porsche totally naked with a loaded handgun and like a half a fucking pound of coke in the front seat of a convertible Porsche they pull him over they're looking to

fucking front seat it's like a fucking brick of coke a loaded handgun and he's completely naked you're crazy and now he's fucking you have no idea man I sober super rich and he's fucking I am man and you get your life together and you move on and you realize that life has so much to fucking offer man it really does like I couldn't imagine going back now yeah I couldn't imagine going back now I love my reefer I don't want to get no problem at all I couldn't even imagine having it on me and my presence just and it wasn't bad it was what I brought on myself I'm not blaming fucking anybody I could blame this and this guy and that guy well just when he says like if you were going to have a joint that like is that everybody has a vice league right

everybody's got to do something everybody goes home at the end of the night and dresses up like a woman or sticks a cube tip in his nutsack or does something everybody has to get out somewhere these fucking people who are politicians and I don't drink and I'm a Christian then you find that they're fucking a black cook yeah you know and that's the truth that's that's everybody has something it's calming that something what's the easy when it came to me I said you know what's the I got to do something I'm not just going to sit there and go to meetings and hug somebody that won't work for me right I got to kill my evil switch which was the blow what makes me miss jobs what makes me yellow people that lie and cheat what makes me fucking do the shit I do cocaine

reefer has never made me break through a fucking window want to stay up all night it's never done that to me alcohol used to be my gateway sure and because in those days even though like it's so weird the tricks you play on yourself I would say I'm not gonna go on do blow tonight I'm just gonna have four drinks I would have in those days these drinks Southern comfort and oranges I was 1920 Southern comfort and oranges you get three of those now you need blood three of those you need blow and here I am in the same and I knew what trap I was walking into I'm not a retard I knew by walking into that bar you just get good at lying to yourself you just lie to yourself this is a weird thing addiction man and I got really good at lying to myself like I would really believe this

shit that would come out of my mouth even including like I'm cool man I got this I'm like I'm drink today a little bullshit like that and it's like fucking three o'clock in the afternoon I'm shit-faced it's like three o'clock you know be drinking and fucking you know these dive bars with all these old dudes with big noses and I'm you know 35 these guys are half twice my age just fucking tying it on I'm happy you got everything together and I continue success thank you buddy help from me please don't hesitate you know I've been down that block I know what it is to it took me like I remember even six months being clean on blow every day I walked on that show sure I knew that it's a daily grind and I wasn't waiting for my cat got hit by no no I just knew

that the one minute I was gonna snap but I never snapped yeah every time I thought about it say a prayer and go you know I gotta think of this I don't want to die I knew I would die I just some people say use that term a lot in AA I gotta be honest with you I knew I was gonna die I was getting at night towards the end of the night when I was coming down off the blow I would get electric shocks on my spine my spine was starting to hurt that's not good yeah that's not fucking good Lee you got anything to tell me nothing to tell you about I was wondering like how how you dealt with in those six months like going somewhere where you used to do coke or I didn't go to them I didn't go to the comedy school I got all those things for you I was I was still friends with the drug

dealers I kept in touch with them hello I kept in that game even more a lot of people just take the numbers out in fact I talked to my drug dealer tonight he's in that new movie with Compton straight out of the car oh really yeah so he asked me if I wanted I called him up to congratulate him because my wife wants to see it and he said if I wanted to go to cast and crew with him on the 14th but I'm in Washington DC so uh that's I did Doug I made a promise I made a promise I made an old-time promise something that we break on a daily basis that is the worst thing first time we broke a promise or told a lie we went into this dark fucking avenue in your life I stopped lying when I was about 21 yeah you exaggerate from time to time but to just tell somebody a blatant lie

about something I was there I shot him that I had to stop doing and I was doing it to to get me somewhere mm-hmm Tebow I gotta check Tebow listen Lee's gonna give me 10,000 just give me an allowance of bloat on Friday yeah that's a bold out lie sure I was doing those type of lies you know that's the first one you have to stop you know and then it's just tough it's just very tough and eventually you get the steps and for some people it takes 40 years for some people it takes 50 years some people never get it I know some people never get it and the whole thing is just being honest with yourself what you can and can't do that night I walked into the strip club when I was in the halfway house I was a month away from getting married mm-hmm I got no shame to tell people on

this part I was a month away from getting married here I am in a fucking strip club right I'm in a strip club and we're doing coke out of some chicks ass oh my god I gave it a whole bag of blow I fingered her asshole I sniffed it I got this girl you know I did everything to this program I never forget that going over 36 in Boulder there's a part where you connect from I-25 to 36 of the I-70 I don't remember and you're coming over it hurt in Bloomfield to hit the ball and I saw those lights I still remember putting my brace on because I was jerking off in the fucking car all over my car salesman's suit I had already came like four times at the strip club I mean I didn't fuck her but I did everything else to it I had come all over me and here I am jerking that's how hot she

was I was smelling my hands jerking off in the car how embarrassing is that yeah as a fucking 30 year old or whatever the fuck I was I was gonna get married the girl I was marrying had a kid and here I am blowing 1500 bucks on her and a half ounce of blow giving this poor girl whatever the fuck I gave her you know it was just pathetic I think of this shit now it's fucking pathetic fucking pathetically that I was so weak but that's what it did I'll never forget getting out of prison Tebow a prison yeah that's the ultimate slap in the face as a man you have no idea Tebow rehab Mitzi not passing you your car getting a flat you have no idea how humiliating it is as a man to be in prison for a man to kick your bed and tell you to get up Tebow come on mop up when you

can eat and tell you when you can eat and adjust your life and here I got guys I couldn't wait to get a package and my father-in-law had a trailer so in those days the halfway houses gave you furloughs so I think I waited I think six days I got on a Tuesday and that Saturday I got a furlough and he had a trailer on the property and I said I'll just sleep on the trailer my god I wouldn't that trailer would look like a fucking half ounce of blow and it was the first time in a year or something Tebow you didn't overdose oh my god you're fucking knocking that back I'll never forget that night that by four in the morning I had done like half of it and the rest of it I dumped in the toilet and I was looking out the windows and all I could see were guys

dressed in white with those fucking suits like the DEA guys on ropes coming down the trees that's how strong my paranoia was and me trying to sweep whatever was on the floor for coke and lick it up I was licking dust dog hair dirt and fucking anyway good luck thank you buddy I love you I love you to death thank you very much you're really a really a brother to all of us no man I try to I've been down there and when it comes to that shit all I could say is listen I don't care how you get clean I don't care how long it takes but it's such a beautiful life and I talk some shit I talk about eating assholes and stabbing people I'm telling you this as a brother that there's such a beautiful life waiting for you and after a year or two you know what you might go back to some of

your bad habits and that's fine but you have to control them you can't drink like I know I can not put cocaine in my nose I know I can't put cocaine in my nose I got a quail that I've been holding on to for a year I'm gonna drop one of these nights that's okay that's not the horse that killed me sure let me read some sponsors let's get the fuck out of here there you go buddy as usual you're fucked up you need help with your addiction alpha brain will focus you cocksucker this will bring you right back this will overturn that shit you understand me because you start thinking about what's important and what's not important that's part of fucking addiction beating addiction you realize what's important and what's not important once I got to do it on it

I got no fucking idea but here's what I do now all right I went for fucking swimming today with the baby I did laps and I also went to fucking jiu-jitsu I ten in the morning with John Evan and I just told him get on top of me don't let me fucking up that was a whole class today don't let me up and I'll tell you what I did on the shroom tech and I breathe and I must have rolled around for 40 minutes I'm gonna be sore as fuck tomorrow don't get me wrong but the shroom tech got me there all right whether it's the alpha brain whether it's the fucking hemp protein and acai or chocolate which tastes fucking delicious whether it's the shroom tech I'll tell you what on it is on top of their motherfucking game go to honet.com right now see the

great selection of nutrients and supplements they have if you like something go to the box and press in church and you get 10% off like a gentleman and if you they have another program called stay on it where they just take your credit card and they mail it directly to your house at the first of the month and they even an additional 10% off so you're getting 20% off right there you got to ask yourself who's better than you go to honet right now and press in church and enjoy the great products they have to offer you're sitting there going joey I can't stop smoking I got the answer cocksucker 86 right there bam tremendous they last longer they taste better they got cigars they got e-cigarettes from 24 to 16 to 8 to no fucking nicotine in there you can work

yourself backwards and you get a cigar you get all four of those in the cigar five to 50 that's right five for 50 go to the box and press in joey's church and get five fucking cigars for 50 bucks that's how we run it over there hitty six tastes better last longer and a big fucking shout out to my brothers up there in northern california nailed it life dumb bad motherfuckers up there making wax gorilla biscuits white chocolate that tastes like mexican fucking what's that drink or a chocolate 250 milligrams but it don't end there they got one of the best vapor pens in the fucking market you understand me you could smoke vegetables out of there you could smoke wax when it comes to wax and dabbing nobody knows more about that shit than nailed it life.com go to

nailed it life.com what do they got to press in joey ds joey ds di az cocksuckers and get 20% off your first order with the vapor pen the best vapor pen in the market they guarantee it they stand behind it you call dave he calls you back in two fucking minutes and you got your action back okay a big shout out to nail the life a big shout out to hitty six and a big shout out to honor.com go on three of these web pages right now and support us help us out cocksucker and don't forget my people over that iran dragon day foley looking out a fucking window i love you cocksucker don't forget i'm in dc improv august 13th or something like that for the 15th i'm taping my cd brand new stuff we'll keep writing every day you know how we do it come on down baltimore dc wherever the

fuck you're from that's where you're going you understand me and that's it i want to thank jason tebow for coming on and dropping some addiction knowledge and for opening up his life to you i want to thank lisa f for sitting there like a dunce all he needs is a fucking hat over there you're smoking more vapor cocksucker you look good thank you buddy everything all right how's poor yeah she's good she's good she's finishing up her work for the summer it's uh what are you guys doing this weekend what do you think she's going to vegas for the weekend with her college friends so i have token layer on the on the security division girls are boys all girls so thank god it didn't go i got invited but we're gonna go like a half a fag and walk around like peter pan drop

carrier purse for and shit yeah you ain't that type of motherfucker you're the real deal jack you're slinging jude dick and giving out fucking hanukkah cards again then i'm going to be in tomorrow the same weekend you're in dc doing a podcast look at you all right they're gonna go up there and see you all right tebow will you any dates coming up uh when does this come out tomorrow something yeah okay i'll be at the ice house this friday actually doing a that's what yeah that's going to show this party see i'll be down there'll be great night for that squad i'll be reminding my own fucking business i love you guys see you wednesday night at the ice house it's sold out in no way sold out already and uh we'll see you back thursday afternoon at three o'clock my brothers

have a great fucking night thank you for listening have a great day tomorrow thank you for this and i love you cocksuckers thanks guys stay black suck it the show is brought to you by onant.com use go to onant.com and use code word church to get 10 off all their optimization products like alphabrain new mood go to onant.com and use code word church to get 10 off all their great optimization products like alphabrain new mood shroom tech immune shroom tech sport anything like that use code word church to get 10 off go to naileditlife.com and use code word joey Diaz to get 20 off the premiere vapor pen on the market and they're also the makers of los gumis sermanos and if you go to hitesigs.com

you get five hitesigs or hitesigars for $50 when you use code word joey's church killing in the name of some of those that work forces are the same that bar crosses some of those that work forces are the same that bar crosses some of those that work forces are the same that bar crosses some of those that work forces draw the same that bar crosses killing in the name of killing in the name of

now you do what they told you now you do what they told you now you do what they told you now you do what they told you and now you do what they told you then now you do what they told you then now you do what they told you and now you do what they told you

then now you do what they told ya then now you do what they told ya then now you do what they told ya then now you do what they told you Those who died, are justified Remember the bad, they're the chosen ones They're justified, those who died Remember the bad, they're the chosen ones

Those who died, are justified Remember the bad, they're the chosen ones They're justified, those who died Remember the bad, they're the chosen ones Some of those that were forces Are the same that bar crosses Some of those that were forces Are the same that bar crosses

Some of those that were forces Are the same that bar crosses Some of those that were forces Are the same that bar crosses Killing in the day, mom Killing in the day, mom But now you do what they told you And now you do what they told ya

And now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya Well, now you do what they told ya Well, now you do what they told ya And now you do what they told ya And now you do what they told ya And now you do what they told ya Well, now you do what they told ya

And now you do what they told ya You're not gonna do what they told you Fools who died are justified Put them in the bed, take your drugs in white You're justified, fools who died Put them in the bed, take your drugs in white Fools who died are justified Put them in the bed, take your drugs in white

You're justified, fools who died Put them in the bed, take your drugs in white Come on You're right Why do you keep loing every time Please, shut up Yeah Fuck you up, do what you tell me

Fuck you up, do what you tell me Fuck you up, do what you tell me Fuck you up, do what you tell me Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me

Motherfucker