Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #308 - Tait Fletcher

Episode Date: August 13, 2015

Tait Fletcher, Entrepreneur and Actor, seen in "The Equalizer, and 'Breaking Bad,'" joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio.   All info can be found here: http://www.eddiebravoinvitational.com/   This podcast is brought to you by:   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   
NatureBox. Visit naturebox.com/joey for a box on them.   MeUndies.com Go to meundies.com/joey for 20% off.   Recorded live on 08/11/2015.
   Music:
 Walk All Over You - AC?DCDown In A Hole - Alice In Chains

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Donald Trump will be here next week. I love to smoke a fucking fat joint with that motherfucker and really let him loose. Really here to what the fuck you really got to say. Do you think you'd do it? No, he would never fucking do it. I think he would smoke. You finally recovered from your coma last night? Oh my god, that was crazy.

When you leave here, you went and picked up food. Yeah, we went and got a burrito. And then one in the morning we got a donut. Just one donut? Yeah. Who goes and gets one donut? No, no, no. We each got a couple.

Okay. Three. No, we didn't get three. That's like when people go to the bar for a drink. Yeah, we each got two. We each got four donuts. You bad motherfucker. One in the morning you were that hot.

We gave you like 400 milligrams. What gives a fuck? It's Monday. And we smoked two joints. Who cares? It's Monday. I'm just saying, we were just sitting at home and I was just starting out. I was like, we have to go. Because we were just watching TV.

It was great. I had coffee. That's all you had? I said, I had coffee. I had a fortune cookie. You're better than I am. I had two peaches. All those fortune cookies are good.

They're sweet. I had a fortune cookie, two peaches, and a package of 100 calorie almonds. That was my late night fucking snack. Where did you get one fortune cookie? It was left over at the house from Chinese food. What's up, Tate Fletcher? You bad motherfucker? Good to see you.

Movie star, entrepreneur, weightlifter, jiu-jitsu technician. You know, I'm just trying to stay above water over here. Tate. It's awesome being in here, dude, and seeing this postage. Yeah, yeah. That's awesome. That's fucking crazy, Tate. It's crazy.

That's crazy. That was 10 years ago. I tell people about our history. 11 years ago. And I'm like, oh, and then you met Joey. I was like, no, man. Joey precedes everything. No, Joey precedes everything with Tate.

Tate brought me fucking a bottle of oxygen. He got it whole foods for me. Liquid oxygen. That was 400 pounds, I was Tate. Dude, I go up the first time I see Joey. I was like, well, who was it? Tracy Morgan or something there? And you're sitting on the bench and we're out in a prison yard at 7,000 feet altitude

in New Mexico on the set of the longest yard. And fucking Joey's rapping the whole ready to die album to these guys. Fucking smoking a marble light. And I'm like, he might die right now. Holy fuck. Yeah. He's like, yeah, maybe I'll just do a little bumper, get a number and a fucking shitter real quick.

And it was amazing. And so that was my initiation into it. And then always talking about Jiu Jitsu and like, oh, I know. Because all these like Bob Sapp was there. So Maurice Smith and then Ivan Salivari were on set helping Bob for his fights because he was kind of in between. And like, yeah, yeah, Jiu Jitsu and Eddie Brab. And I'd always looked up to Eddie.

I was like, no, like, I'm like, this is just one of these dudes talking about all this. And then I was like, he's not really like that kind of dude though. I'm like, this is weird as fuck. And then when we moved out to LA on it. And then I just ended up by Hook and Crook kind of down at Eddie's. It was close to the little apartment I was renting in Taitown. And fuck, man, in walks Joey one day. Hey, little brother.

And then fucking everybody goes crazy. I was like, God damn. Yeah. It was that procedure. That was before I met Joe. I met his wife first. I met Tait's girlfriend first. Were you acting on the show or on the movie?

Yeah. I was like a stand-in on it. It's so crazy because when you go to these places, like it was so crazy. You met Heather at the bar. No, I met Heather on the set. And she fucking gravitated to me because she was like, I gotta tell you something. I just heard your fucking accent. Just talk for five more minutes.

Yeah. Because her in-laws, her parents, her roots are from Brooklyn. So she's in fucking Santa Fe surrounded by gentiles and people who wear sandals. She hears me talking and I'll never forget her face. Like she was like, this motherfucker is bringing me back. So she came over and introduced herself and right away said to me, you know there's a Dunkin' Donuts up the corner. Because that's it.

That's how we bond. She's like, there's a Dunkin' Donuts up there. There's a place that makes pizza in Albuquerque. And she just started rapping off. Yeah, she got the shit dialed in. They knew York wants, you know. And then she's like, Tate, and then I remember I was in my trailer and you guys came by. Yeah.

I couldn't breathe. And in those days, when we first did the longest shard, the first week I didn't work. It was crazy. But we were at a high school. Remember the first week we were at a high school. On a football field there, yeah. On a football field. Listen, bro, they wouldn't let me on the field.

They gave me oxygen and they assigned me this little Asian trainer. And all the Asian trainer would do is make me walk around the field with this oxygen in my mouth. They were fucking paranoid as fuck I was going to die. So for the first week or two, all I did was I do this type of stuff with my hands. Like little circles with an oxygen thing on. They're like, no, we don't want you doing much. We don't want you.

Were you feeling bad? You know I couldn't bend over. Do you know those scenes where you're supposed to put two fingers on the floor? Yeah. Like a downed lineman. I couldn't put my fingers on the floor. They had to put a fucking four by four under my feet, guys. That's how sad that was.

That's a true story. That I put a four. I still see the kid. My double. Yeah. He's going to stand up. I see him around town. I bump into him at the improv.

Tell me his name. You know, man, I forget. Nice kid. Is he at the store sometimes? No. He's at the improv. Like he does all the labs and shit. Right.

I bump into him. And yeah, you, you know, I still course. I'll tell you who reached out to me. After nine years, I never heard from him again. Romanowski. Really? He ended months later. Romanowski sent me a box.

A muscle milk. Of all his protein. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is muscle milk his? That's his shit. No, it's not. That fool's papered up. No, it's not.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Muscle milk is him. That's his shit. He sent me the other shit, the shit for your brain that tastes like tang. Okay. I don't know. That you put it in water and you're fucking. It was the first alpha brain.

Really? That was the first shit that. That's a smart guy, man. That would send you. It was tasted like orange. So I'm like, if I drink this shit, I'll beat the blow. Right. I was doing it with blow.

Right. I was drinking. That was like when you're like, how do you actually see and vitamin C or whatever. It was crazy, but he emailed me. Yeah. He didn't say much. I just want to say hello. Somebody mentioned your name.

It's good that you're still out there. Does he live up in Colorado or something? He didn't fucking say, yeah, yeah, he teamed up with that doctor. Remember, he showed up with a doctor. He was really trying to do something. He showed up with his own fucking doctor, Dr. Nelson. Dr. Nelson would touch you, would work by field and shit like that. The first time Dr. Nelson, I came in before they put the shoulder pads on me and Dr.

Nelson goes, lay down and never forget this guys. And I laid down and he touched my back and he goes, what time did you do your last line? What? And I said about four, but don't say nothing. He goes, I'm not going to say nothing. He goes, but you got to get this shit out of your body. He started talking to me. He's the first guy that knew on the set that I had a drug problem.

Little by little, him and I were talking about. Were you shaking or something? No, he just knew. I had done it like three days early. They're so crazy. I had gotten high like on a Friday. This is when we were up here in Paramount. Okay.

Because he didn't show up down in Santa Fe. I don't remember him in Santa Fe. Down south at that football field down there. Right, right. And when Homeboy ran off and holed up in a hotel for a few days. Michael Urban, oh my God. You know, the problem with those movies is you have too many personalities. There's a lot there.

That movie had too many personalities and too many people that had demands. Nelly was cool as shit. Super cool. Super cool. But like, Urban had to leave. Yep. You know, there was somebody else that had to keep leaving. The Japs came and got Bob Sapp.

Tell that story. When the Yakuza came and got Bob Sapp. Listen to me. He kept saying, I have to go to Japan to take contextual obligations. And Adam and Dibinardi kept saying, no, no, no. You can't leave. We have you here. One day you heard click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

It was two Japanese dudes with a suit with the fucking wooden shoes. When they show up with wooden shoes, those clog fucking things. They're not fucking around. They had a cigarette with the stick. They had two cigarettes with those sticks. They were both smoking. There was two of them. And they came onto the set and they started talking.

And next thing you know, Bob Sapp was going to whoever the fuck he was going. It's a shady business. That's a shame. That's when they was fighting. Yeah, that was shady. They came and said he's going today. He kept fucking around. They kept fucking around with his contract.

Ah, two more weeks. Dude, he got into shit later too. Like he was in, I think he was in Denmark maybe. And the Japanese, and I think the Russians got involved also. But they came up and he was going to fight somebody, Bozhansky, or somebody that was kind of a killer in kickboxing, in K1. And he was going to get a million dollars or something for it. And they go, okay, you fight tonight and no pay though.

That will pay your taxes because they hadn't paid any taxes on anything of his. And he's like, fuck that. I'm not going to fight and not get paid for this. And they said, yeah, yeah, that's what you're doing. And then it got more insistent. Yeah, no, you're doing that. He got in a car. He said there's a high speed chase all through the hills and shit.

Getting out. He had to escape from these motherfuckers and get to the airport and get the fuck out. They'll put you in a bag. They came and got them. The people who owned Pride, whatever the fuck they were, they weren't fucking around. That's the first time I've seen all that shit. But New Mexico. Wearing the wooden shoes.

And they have wooden shoes. They had wooden shoes. They had high tailored suits on. Yeah. But they had those shoes that click. When you have those shoes that click, you ain't fucking around. I can't believe Bob Zap was scared of anybody. I'm just thinking about how big he was.

Well, just imagine that. And two little Asian, two little Japanese guys are like, he's coming. What kind of way to do carries when a 400 pound muscle bound killer like Bob Zap is like, no, no, okay. I'm coming. He's seen the way. Well, he had a house in Japan. He had people in Japan.

They would have fucking slaughtered everybody. That's crazy. Remember at that time, Bob Zap was the hottest MMA guy in the world. They had just done a speech around him on HBO Real Sports. And in Japan, huge. Right. He couldn't walk down Japan. They said in Japan, it was like Michael Jackson would walk out on Fifth Avenue in New York City.

He would shut down the streets. He was fucking three Japanese girls at once with one dick. He would slice it like a fucking Japanese shish kebab. And then they would just fall off and push him off the balcony and get three more. It was craziness. But all those type of personalities were on this movie. Yeah. And then you had Goldberg.

He got into fights with the producers, understood. Then you had fucking the kids that were the real football players. Right. You had real football players. Yeah. You had college players. So it was very interesting fucking dynamic. Then you had who I see now all the time.

And I'm really happy for him that he gets movies. Kevin Nash is one of the nicest. He's in a ton of fucking movies. He's a magic Mike. He's one of the dancers or something. Magic Mike. Killer. And I think he's in Wick.

Yeah. In Don Wick. Yeah. Wick kills him outside the door. That's who John Wick kills outside the fucking door at the club. At the Russian club. At the end. Yeah.

He was in John Wick. Francis. Huh. Yeah. He was in a bunch of shit. He killed me in John Wick too. Did he kill you in John Wick? Yeah.

Who did? Keanu. So fucking Higgins in John Wick. The two that. Higgins too. He missed that. No. He's in the two.

They're doing John Wick too. They're shooting in New York. So he's playing one of the cab drivers. One of the Brazilian. Yeah. Cool. Crazy fucking cab driver. You digging this other side of the business?

Dude, it's neat man. You know, it's always been something like what they said like in 2000 when I first got a sad card, they're like the dude that helped me out. He was like a guy named Keith Willard. He says, yeah, you should keep doing this. And I'm like, man, I'm like, like, there's no way I'm a kid from Michigan. You're not going to like be in a film. I got this one job at the nightclub.

I'm fighting. I'm doing this stuff. I like doing this and just call it good there. And then years later, after like a whole fight career unfolds and all that, and like a whole mother life happens, I come back into this thing. And it's like, it's not only like possible, it's happening, you know, and I just kind of ran after it like the way I did fighting. I'm like, I train for it.

I work out at it. I'm like, it's like you guys with comedy. It's like, you know, I was telling somebody about comedy. They're like, oh, well, they just go up and they're just naturally funny and go, the motherfuckers work like, they call it working out. Like every day they're burning up their gas tanks, trying to get four different sets on for five minutes apiece all over town. Like it's like, it's different than what anybody looks.

You know what? And I think that's the beauty of those things too. It's like everything that people are excellent at is way different when you're inside it than when you're looking at it as a spectator, you know? And I guess I just never liked being a spectator, you know? So I'm in it, you know? And it's dope. It's dope.

I'm really grateful. You just opened up a question I wanted to really ask you. And we have friends that are affected by this. I just want to ask you this just for, for, you know, we met. You were a skinny fighter, blah, blah, blah. You know, you came up, you moved up here. You really worked hard for where you're getting that. But the situation happened.

You got on the ultimate fighter. Right. And he came to you and he asked you if you wanted to fight. And you said no. Right. You saw it for what it was. How happy are you about that decision today? You know, it's weird.

I said a while ago to somebody like, you know, what, what appeared, what I thought of at the time was my biggest failures that turned into my biggest assets later, you know? And it's like, with this life, it's like, I don't see the big scope of it. I don't see the big picture, but I just kind of, you know, you go with everything that you know, I guess that you've like, whether all the people you meet and every experience you've ever had and it all culminates into this thing and you have an intuition and then you let that guide you at that time. At that time when I said no, like I was really disenfranchised with it, but there's like

three of us out in the waiting room. I go, listen, they're going to call me in. I don't give a fuck about this. Like the only guy I want to fight here is Ken Shamrock. This is all bullshit. And like I said, I'm just like, I'm done. Like I'm about to stab somebody in here. And I said, if you guys want to scrap though, you want to really make a run for this?

Let me know. And both the guys that were sitting out with me like, yeah, yeah. And then I go, okay, then I'm going to take myself out of it. And I go, okay. And so I did that. And then I don't know what happened when they were in the room, but like that, I think neither of them took that fight either. I kind of, you know, I've got things like back and forth.

Like I miss all that too, you know, for sure. But it's, I think it's the thing about putting things away in your life and starting the next thing, especially stuff that has a time period for sure. You fucking saw something. And I want to know the question is, what did you see? Was it a personal decision? Were you really scared of the brain damage? Did you think there was more to life?

You know, I always tell people, and this is where I got this saying from, not because of tape, but when it comes to tape, I always tell us to people. There's two things. It's better to want than to have sometimes with some people. And sometimes that's why I remember we were fucking around Atlanta and I took Duncan and Simon, we made that tape. And my key words are, before you get into this, I want you to really think about what you're getting yourself into because it gets whooped up fast.

One minute you were doing neck bars at Ten Planet, the next minute you're on a fucking show. Okay. And how fast did it happen? Bam, bam, bam. You know, it's like bam, bam, and all of a sudden you saw something. It wasn't that you were pushing, you didn't want to fucking fight because you'll strangle anybody at any given time.

And I've seen it. It's not about that. You saw something. And today, ten years later, I kind of applaud you. Well, thanks. Because today, you wouldn't be where you were if you kept fighting. I don't know if you're saying the same thing you're saying. And I'm not telling you this because you weren't a good fighter.

Right. I'm telling you, this was going into a different direction. For sure. It's gone into a different direction. I see all this different, you know, and nobody's happy with the UFC at this point. Nobody. Nobody. The fighters and people around them, they want to do a union.

Did you foresee this? Did you? For sure. I mean, ever since I first started, I was like, we got to have a fighters union. Like, this doesn't work. And I started looking at guys that were like, this was their whole life. And it's like, and when it becomes that, like, and you, you're in poverty, like, that's not a good play.

That's not a smart play. And then you're going to diminish your, your, your, your cognition also, like that you're in a fuck spot. But like what I saw was like, and Dana White told me the story and he goes, you know, I came in, I was a fighter and then I started managing guys and I started looking at the fighters. They were ahead where I was and they were already punching and they weren't really maybe going to go anywhere.

And I was behind them and what was I doing anymore? And then I started looking at everybody in the UFC and I go, you know, and at that time we had longer careers, but like right now I think it's like 16 months or something. It's like almost nothing, like for an average career of an MMA fighter in the UFC. And but who was perpetual? Well, Herb Dean was always there. He wrapped a bunch of my fights, John McCarthy. So those guys are there and then the ring girls are there, but they're new fighters every

three months. And it's like, those guys are just thrown away, but you do put your whole life into it. And so I put my whole life into this thing that was going to have an empty return later. Now I say that I'm completely fucking grateful for every, I never did it as a career. I did it because there was an expression of me as an artist that I wanted to be able to exact inside a cage and in those, in those walls. And I love the camaraderie and the fellowship of all the brotherhood of what fighting is, you know, in the gym and all my brothers at Jackson's and Winklejohn's MMA and everybody

that touched me and formed me there as a man. And I want to be who I was without it. And I want to be able to continue on with it would mean that I was going to forgo any future life that I had because I like at the top levels, I'm mediocre, you know, and so what, what does that look like? And I see the guys that I look up to and I'm like, those guys aren't fighting for a belt yet. And I'm like, and I'm late in the game.

And so when the opportunity to go back into film work came up, I was like, maybe this is the thing, because the only time I ever felt alive when they're like, are you ready? Are you ready? And then we fight. So when somebody saw the action and when they do that, and it's yours to fuck up and it's like, and you're all done. And it's like, okay, let's go and see if I can make this moment work for everybody. And so I just, I ran after that just like that, man.

And I was like, you got to, you know, and I've only been back into Jackson's gym once since then, and it's so uncomfortable because you want to spar and you want to go in and you want to, you want like, I've got all those things in me still, but it's like a, it's a, I exercise a bit of denial with it. Like I got to deny myself certain things so other things can happen. I think it's just like a maturing man. You got to ask yourself, who are you now? Who are you that you're not the best football player in college?

Or who are you now that you're not this? Or who are you now? You're not the fighter guy. Who are you not? Like who are you underneath what you do, who you are, what's in your pocket and all that shit? And like that's a scary fucking question. Most guys never, most guys run from that question.

They don't want to know any of that. And I've been forced in positions where I'm like, I've had to ask myself that question a lot. And so you get okay with yours. You know, you go, well fuck man, this is where it's at. You know, and you got, you know, like without guys like you, like, you know, and like Rogan and Logan and fucking a bunch of my friends around, like I got these pillars around me that are like, that are balancers, that are diffusers of all the bullshit and everything

and things get distilled in a purity where you can see life clearly for what it is and for what matters and who you are outside of the midst of all the bullshit and trappings, you know. And that's the stuff that is like, you know, like what makes me me is you, you know, like it's like, it's to me, it's like that, you know, because without that reflection, I don't, I get lost in it. It's funny, you were with me when I still had my addiction in a fucking bad way and we'd talk about it.

And I was thinking about the time we went to Austin and I got the coke from that crazy guy and I gave some of it to Brian and he got caught in the bathroom snort. And they were looking, they threw him out of the bathroom or something. But I'm thinking about how, how big you have to be like, well I was six and one of my biggest heartaches is when I had to come to a conclusion that I was going to play high school ball. At the end of my freshman year, I knew what time it was, I knew how good I was, I knew how, I knew what I could do, but I also knew the system around me was going to be a little harder than what I anticipated.

I didn't anticipate this. You know, I was watching the making of Wish You Were Here and Have a Cigar is about there not being happy with the entertainment. Come on in, have a cigar, you're going to go far, you're going to fly high, you're never going to die, you're going to make it if you try. I mean he wrote, he just, you know, and they asked him, they're like, at that time all we wanted to do was play. But they were less, you know, they were less, it had to be bigger.

We want a bigger production, we want bigger lights and all they want to do is fucking play and there comes a time you take control of your life. You didn't, you took control of your life at that moment in front of Dana White. It all clarified and people lived their whole fucking life and they'll never do that. I still remember coming to the conclusion, like May of 78, like, holy shit, I'm not going to play high school, college ball. I had such a hard time my freshman year, I could see this is going, I'm not part of the boys club and that fucking killed me for years deep down inside because of the way

I quit. Right. But all I was doing was making my life easier. You know though too, I think we want to believe that we could be the best at anything, like any human anywhere could be the best at whatever if they put their mind to it. I think it's the American fucking, let's get in there and do it, we can do it, make it happen. But that shit's not true.

There's people that are fucking highly gifted that'll never make it because they don't work very hard, but those that are highly gifted that work hard, you're never going to catch up to that guy. Like you're never going to, like, and so, and that's one of the things that too I started looking at. I'm like, I love this, I love this ability to do the thing that I love doing, this art that I love doing. That being the case, what's really distilled here also is that there's not the time or

talent within me at this point to be a champion. Like I see Anderson Silva dance like that and I'm like, okay, like that's, he moves different than me or whatever. And so I go, so you get to be a journeyman fighter kind of, you get to be, you get to be a prize fighter that isn't going, so how good is that after, you know, like, so for everybody that's had 10 fights, they've had 10,000 wars in the gym, like, and I've been knocked out a couple of times by that point and I was like, I just can't. I just, I can't get conscious puts myself here.

Like, I was kind of, I feel like, you know, I mean, I was pulled from prison and pulled from death when I was a kid and, and to be in like, and I started thinking about family and I go, I've got a responsibility to my mother. Like, I've got all these, I'm like, this, I got to find a new life. I don't know, I don't know what that is, but I know that this isn't going to take me there. Well, did you see what Shogun rule got paid? I paid five grand for that fight.

Is that what? Could you imagine like putting in all that work? Shogun rule got five grand. I'm almost positive. Let's check it. I can't believe it. It's crazy. Yeah.

All right, so. And listen, man, 70 million fourth of July and people got five grand, 70 million at the door and look at, look at, like, uh, you see Big Nog walk out in that fight, you can see the brain damage on the guy when he's, when he's walking out to the fight. He's had brain damage for the last five. And so check this out. So he doesn't have any money saved. He's one of the most popular guy, multiple champion in the UFC in pride.

And like, that's the things I'm looking at and I'm looking at that. And that motherfucker still has nothing. And so, and, and after he stops fighting, after he stops earning, he'll really have nothing and, uh, and, and a diminished capacity to where people can only, uh, put him around like a puppet and be like, yeah, we have this guy before the, before the candle of his fame extinguishes completely because there's going to be another 30 guys in the next two years that are bigger names than that. And that's the sad facts of it.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Okay. So I got. So, uh, Rua got 10 grand. He got five to show him. Holy shit. Yeah.

Antonio got five. Um, let's go down step on the street. We've got 10 and no Gary got 10. Antonio Silva got five. I don't even understand what you're saying to me right now. I know it's crazy. It's fucking crazy. I mean, some of the lower ones got 2,500 and it's just crazy.

What does it, does it say what Rhonda got? Yeah. 40 grand. That it's got to be, Reebok's got to be paying them all a note then, right? Like, or I don't, I don't know how that works, but those are the funniest numbers I ever heard. Five grand. That means you're really taking home 2,800 after you paid your jitsu, your fucking

corner, and that's the other thing too is all these guys, they don't know how to pay taxes. Here's a check. Good luck at the end of the year when the tax man wants his. I made 400 grand this year. No, you didn't. You better save 180. What 180 to pay the tax man when he's coming.

You know what I mean? I'm just saying what one? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that if I was still snorting coke, I would have been a journeyman comic and I didn't want to be a journeyman comic. When I see a journeyman comic, it bothers me. A journeyman comic is a guy that had lines here, features here. I just did Columbus with a guy that's been headlining for 30 years.

Right. Now he's opening for me. That's when I quit. Yeah. That's when I get out of there. That's a journeyman comic. That's the thing about being proactive like that. That's, yeah, you feel what I'm saying.

I, as soon as I stopped doing blow, I kicked it up to different levels. You know, I became a headliner. You know, I was doing comedy all those years. That was no headline. That's a big difference. Right. And you see Joe and Greg Haraldo and their headliners. They have a beginning, a middle and an ending and they have a message and they,

they're taking it to different places. And then you go from these little rooms to a fucking real comedy club and then to a theater and the fighting and the comedy to me is a lot of the same. I watch it and I know when, you know, when you go to, when you don't see a guy for a year and you go to a comedy club and you're excited, he does the same set. He did the year before it's me when I watch a fighter and he's still just throwing that same little like Tito and Stefan Bonner and Bellator earlier. We're like, so this is still happening, huh?

Okay. No, no leg kick. Nothing new, not a double jab. You didn't even throw up a double jab. Just throw up working on a double jab for me. I see a double jab three times. You ever watch a fight and the guy keeps throwing a kick and it's not working. Uh, who, who, Dariush on Sunday, on Saturday through a flying knee.

He threw a thousand fucking flying knees. Dariush, give it a fucking breather. Give it a fucking breather with the flying knees after the fourth one. They're not working. Dariush, he sees them fucking coming. That's all a little light. You know, I was watching my man up in San Francisco, who I love, the guy that rossed me upon Morris.

Oh yeah. He's got the worst leg kick in the world. It's like one of those, it's like when mercy kicks me and runs away. It's like a little and it runs away. Really? You're going to show up with that fucking leg kick. A leg kick is supposed to make that leg rattled. Leave your leg in there.

Don't even put it out if you ever do that. If we're just going to sit there and tap each other, leave the leg in because you're fucking bothering the shit out of me. It's true. Leave the leg in. You're not doing that with that little. You should be in their corners unless you're going to blast me. Blast me.

But why are you telling me how good would that be to have Joey be the corner guy for these guys? How, you know, I'm from a different set of fight and you're a looting and you're fucking waiting for it to set him into your fucking trap. It's like my man, Rashad Evans says, once Greg Jackson told him, I want to hear them boo. Yeah, I want to hear them booing. That's when you know you're doing your job.

You stick them to your fucking game plan. Fuck them. You're sucking him into your fucking world. Every fight is different. When I see a fucking preview and I hear this, you know, it's going to go back and forth, but my power, your power is shit. Ask Joe Lozano. You're going to throw a punch.

You might clip him in the jaw, but you're going to momentum. Let's keep going. And he's going to take your fucking power and break your fucking elbow. What power are you talking about? Power. Then they're sitting there throwing these fucking bombs for two hours and you're sitting there bored to pieces. Like you deserve to lose your fuck.

You deserve to fucking lose. Same thing with comedy. You know, writing to me is like working on your back. That's it. Nobody wants to work on that back. I got tremendous power. Who needs jujitsu? There you go.

You need jujitsu. Now you're drowning. Now you're down on the ground and you're dead to the beat. Why no half God. And I know Eddie taught me a lock down. So crazy, dude. It's fucking crazy. And you're getting into a ring.

I wouldn't go into a UFC ring unless I was a second degree black belt. And I have been doing jujitsu every day since I was five. You know, it's crazy to us thinking about people like people put all this emphasis like that, you know, that guys are awesome at jujitsu. If they're in the UFC or something like that. But you think about you reel it back. Like a lot of those guys were not blue belts. Like Clay Guida started his jujitsu is not a blue belt.

Like at the beginning of his career, goddamn George St. Pierre walk would walk out in a purple belt. You know what I mean? Like he's like that's where he was at when he was a champion. And, uh, which is, which is crazy. He got promoted throughout the years because he was a champion a long time. But it's, uh, you know, there's a, there's a, it's a lot of, it's a different game. It's a different game.

And if you get lost on the ground, man, you are lost. You can see the guys that know and that, that, uh, that capitalized on a lot of 10th planet guys capitalizing on it now. You know, see my man Kukui and he's fucking, you know, like you're in trouble. You, if you trip and stumble, you are in trouble. You're in trouble. He's going to strangle you, you know, and that, and that's just how it's going to go. And, but there's other guys, you go to the ground and you're like, they feel safe.

They're resting there. You know, it's funny that I went to a Houston's with Eddie way before I knew any of the terminologies and shit. And he was just one day go being Eddie, you know, Eddie, being Eddie, having just dropping knowledge. And he was telling me, and this has to be 10 years ago because I still lived in Hollywood. I lived here.

Yeah. This has to be 2006. And he was telling me how, um, you really need to learn how to fight in your back now the next five years in jiu-jitsu, but a bunch of wrestlers are coming in and blah, blah, blah, and blah, blah, and I really started listening to him. I'm like, you got a point there. And these wrestlers will take you down all fucking day long. Yeah.

You know, uh, I mean, you look at why Chuck Liddell was successful because he could stop and take, because he knew how to wrestle. People like, oh, he could just, he's a striker. No man, he is a fucking championship wrestler. Like he's a fantastic wrestler. That's why he's still on his feet because the guys coming at him are savages. Like, you know, you watch Jeremy Horner only wanted to take him down. Guys couldn't take him down.

You know, that's my all time favorite. Yeah. Chuck, to this day, he's amazing. So this day, to this day, I look at this Conor McGregor and I look at half these guys and I go, you know what? They don't have half the class. Chuck did half the class. Honest to God.

Chuck made me and the figure Chuck made me join Kempo karate. That's, you know, and I would never talk. You guys know me, though. I don't fucking give a fuck. I never said a word to him until about two years ago after he retired. I just go, Hey, man, I want to tell you something. You're my all time favorite. Yeah.

If I was to have a post on MMA guy, he was a 10 planet with Einstein. And he goes, really? And I go, man, I like everything about you. Yeah. Everything about you. And I miss you to be honest with you. I miss you. I, I, I, you're fucking his icon, man, for sure.

And he, and he's a, you know, and a family guy like him and his girl Heidi, his wife, his, she's the sweetest thing. And the way he takes care of his kids, man, I mean, you see him around and it's just like, he's about it, man. Like he's, I've seen him on the way in with a baby stroller. Yep. With the cutest baby stroller with flippers, slippers on and fucking toes painted toes painted and I'm like this motherfucker and he came over and gave me a hug.

I mean, just a hell of a nice guy and crazy. He had the perfect attitude when he was fighting. I loved everything about him. Every time I heard a drunk story of him falling asleep on an interview, everything I heard, I always was like, you know what? I love that motherfucker. And when he started getting knocked out, I hate it. I got to be honest with you.

I fucking hated it. Well, but even him, bro, he come up to my gym in Santa Fe. We're talking, we're doing sprints and do a little wrestling. And like, and it was like, it was before his last knockout, I guess. And he says, you know, Danny just wants me to retire. He's really pushing me, but it's like we're driving around in his Ferrari. And like, like, man, you're living like this. Like I'm, everything goes away.

It evaporates for me. Like if I don't have paychecks, I need like three more years of paychecks. I got kids to take care. I got a lot. I got, I got planning to do that. And I haven't that I'm not into, you know, and, and, and then I think he fought again and he got it and then he got a great job as an exec with the UFC, you know, kind of that, that UFC welfare that they do to some, some of the real

special guys that are out there. But, um, he, well, they're going to give no gear in the front office. Dana White said, he's going to give no garage job in the front. Really? Yeah. He said at the press conference, I got it. You got to stop. You got to stop.

I was watching that dude and I was like, this, you can't have, you can't even have those as fights anymore. If you want to look, if you want this sport to grow and have people be like, yes, this is something that's viable and I want to see, you got to stop the guys from fighting. So you can't, we can't have boundaries, so we'll fight again. We can't have show gun, even as good as he looked, man, that's a downward spiral.

We can't, you, you don't want to see guys after their egg is cracked. Do you know what I mean? And it's like, and, and, and that, that becomes the thing is like, who, who are you after that happens and nobody wants to stop fighting. I mean, you see guys like Ken Shamrock, you think he wants to fight anymore? No, that poor guy, he just doesn't know how to do anything else. And his ego is so messed up, it won't allow him to be in the thing. Now it's so he'll fight for $500 on TV to get his name up a little bit.

And it's like, that's insane. You're allowing guys that aren't smart enough to have self-preservation as a gene inside them to go ahead and make choices to diminish themselves more. And if you don't care about the human, as he is the same human as me as you, and we are all connected, if you don't care about that, cause you're so disconnected to God damn it, care about your brand, whether it's Bellator, UFC or whatever, care about your brand enough to go, if I have these guys and they stay too long, it's going to really tarnish my brand.

Cause it does a hundred percent. Well, a lot of people want, like a lot of people want to see a rampage fight. Sure. I'm a fan of MMA and I got to be honest with you. I like rampage. I don't want to see him fight. How about this? The last five fights would just not exist.

What if we didn't see Chuck's last three fights and he just walked away? The killer that he, you know what I mean? What if you never saw the pedestal get knocked away from BJ Penn? You know what I mean? It's like, there's stuff like that. Be a Hickson, be an icon forever. You know, it's not that Hickson's unbeatable, but that man's a living ghost story because you know what?

He walked away at the right time, but nobody walks out of the casino in time. Nobody. No, I'm not dream of doing stand up at the age of 52. Yeah, we'll tell you this. This was not on my fucking feature map. This was not my own personal question. But imagine if every time you got up on stage, that your addiction got a little less, that your cadence or that your memory that you forget words.

Imagine every time it was just a little bit less, your timing was a little bit off. So you're getting worse and worse. That's a motherfucker. That's a motherfucker, you know, getting old as a motherfucker. I just don't want to be that guy and let 70 up there doing dick jokes and getting the fuck a fucking night and people like Pat me in 1985. I did a movie. I don't want to be.

I've never wanted to be that fucking. That's the same year as me, dude. When I used to see guys like John Fox, rest in peace. Well, I'm not talking bad about it would fucking put the fear of God in me because that's where I was had a tape. When we weren't Austin at that time and you guys were lifting and I went to the pool, right? You still remember that?

Yep. Did you ever think we'd be sitting across from each other 10 years crazy? You didn't think I was going to live? No, my drug problem at 2006 and five. Once I did the longest yard, that was it. People have no idea what happened. I'd go home, dude. After like, when we go to the hotel and like, and, uh, we didn't, we'd have

plans like, Oh yeah, we'll go meet her. We'll meet up and we'll grab a coffee. No, no. When we were traveling on the road together. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, um, like, it was always a thing. I'm like, you know, I like, I hope he's okay. You know, because like you, you check out your, like your obligations done.

Not answering the phone anymore. Not doing that. Like all plant eggs and, and I know. And then I got an inkling of what's happening. I'm like, fuck man, you know, cause you can't say nothing. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to talk to nobody. Nope.

It was in my pocket already. I would not do it before I went on stage, especially around Joe. I never wanted Joe to see Joe saw me high one night and 19 had to be 98 and he was heartbroken guys. This is before he started smoking pot, which he did. He did not understand the drug world. His friend, what a crazy thing. He didn't start smoking pot to 36, 37, 2000, 2000, no, 2000, 9, 11.

He was smoking pot 9, 11, but I still remember one night. I called him and he told me he wasn't coming down and I went to the union, which was next to the, where they cook became a star. Okay. The union was first. It was, I met, I met his room. Then Josh Wolf and I met, I met booked it and the guy from swingers hung out in there. So girls would come.

So it became a scene. So Tuesday nights, it was a great fucking room. I mean, every comic that like pussy would beg you to get on cause it was a fucking pussy on room. Not for me. I didn't pick up no pussy there. I was broke. I go down there and get like a grandma blow and we drink for free.

But I remember one night I got fucking tagged in there. Oh my God. I was joined. I could feel the jaw going. It was 10 30 and I walked out in front of the union and there's Joe Rogan with the Supra silver Supra, the Acura. Yeah. No, no, the Supra.

Okay. I know Joe when he had this Supra, which he sold for like 500 bucks. You guys know, to a comic. Really? He felt bad. He was just giving me 500 bucks. That's how good of a guy. Joe is then this is when he was on news radio and I had to have a conversation

with him and I remember him looking at me and like, I could see the disappointment in this face. Yeah. And I kept trying to look the other way and light a cigarette. So he wouldn't see my jaw, but the people like come with us in the car and he kept saying, no, no, you're coming with me. We went to coaching horses and he watched me like the rest of the night. I couldn't even go through another bumper, but I was never so embarrassed.

And then he brought it up like maybe two months later or something. So I said, that's it. When Joe's around because he loves me and he's my friend, not a respect for him. I'm not going to drink or do a bump. There was nights I went out with him and I had a grandma blow my pocket. Burn in a hole in your pocket and I'd see everybody else doing bumps. And he'd tell me, look at that guy doing coke. Yeah.

Look at that fucking idiot doing a couple of things. Oh, no, he just, you know, he's one of those special guys that, um, you always wish you could be like where it's like, he can see that like that shit doesn't help you in your life. Why would you do that? But we all do shit that doesn't help us. We're all in our own way to some extent, but not Joe. Like Joe's, Joe's the most clear out of his way, out of almost maybe anybody I

know, as far as that kind of thing goes. He just, he's like, that would impede the future me. Why would I do that? Like, it's fucking powerful to be around him, you know, and it's no fucking coincidence either. You know, when you look at the original crew of like, uh, it's funny what Desquad is now Eddie was, Eddie was saying something to me the other day about Desquad, he's like, who are these fucking nerd comments?

He's like, Desquad is the fuck he's like, it's, it's you, me, Joey. And that's it. Like, and Ari, right? And so that original crew, you, me, Duncan, Ari, Red Band, Joe, like, and you look at, um, what's happened, you know, like, I look back on a lot of friends that I've had throughout the years and it hasn't been like a upward, upward, uh, climb for a lot of guys, but fucking all of us fucking, you know, thank the gods and knock on wood or whatever.

Like that, that thing about being distilled enough where you work hard, you're creative and you're, you're about fucking helping people and bringing other people up, all of us are in a fucking, in a spot that's like magical, that I could have never imagined happened to me. I mean, it's like, I look at it. I'm like, this doesn't seem, I don't know how this is real. And so the other thing about like going, yeah, Dana, I don't think so. Is like, I couldn't have seen where that, like all the turns that I took that

were rights instead of left, it wouldn't have brought me here. You know what I mean? And so it's like, I don't regret a goddamn thing. Cause everything took me to where I am here. And I feel like I'm the most useful and purposeful to my communities and those around me where I am today, you know, and fuck, what's better than that? Cause at the end of the day, whether, you know, it's my truck or my fucking house or my whatever, all that shit goes away.

All goes away. Who you fucking touch in your life and who touches your heart. That's, that works you forever, man. That's on your soul forever. And, and thank God it is, you know, I think that, that's what immortalizes us. That's what makes us bigger than human and a part of a bigger woven fabric than we could ever be alone. And like that whole thing about, you know, uh, judging others or comparing myself

or this or that, it's like, it's not like me getting better than or worse than anything. The thing that sucks about that is when I think I'm different than you, it separates me from you and it, it isolates me in that lie. And, uh, and the fucking truth is, is like the only, the only goodness that I've ever felt in life is when I felt like fucking right together and dialed in with somebody else. You feel like you're held in the palm of the universe. It's weird.

He's, he came on, I came off stage and he was waiting for me at the store. Yeah. And we went to the back to the lounge and he was like, you know, I was thinking, he goes, uh, Kenison and Dyson, all those people. That was a great time at the comedy store, but fuck them because they were all that war. Yeah. He goes, we came up together and we were all support each other and that's,

they're going to be talking about this for a long time. This is really, right now is the classic age of comedy. I mean, you call any comedy club on a Saturday night and they're packed. You know, people are in touch with comedy more and ever through these podcasts. My friend, Brian Morton runs a Chicago lab factory. It's always packed on Friday and Saturday with open micers. He doesn't even use names in that, but he knows how to reach the fucking people. Tom, it's going to be a great show.

It's amazing what's going on with comedy. And don't you think the difference is scarcity versus like a sense of, of opulence? Like, like what you're talking about at the store is like, like, I've seen some of the migration from that old mindset to the new. And a lot of those older guys are falling off that aren't with it because the thing is, is they're like, well, if you're doing good, then that means it's as, it's as if they're so fucking crazy. It's as if there's only so much laughter.

If you get too much of the laughter, there won't be more laughter out of that audience for me to get. And so I don't want you to do well. And they're against each other. And that shit doesn't happen. That shit doesn't happen. It, you know, listen, it's amazing when you do comedy and you cheer against people, it comes back and they fucking bite you on the ass.

I cheer for everybody. I know Michael Costa was on late, late, late night on some fucking NBC. I never heard it. I taped it and I watched it. Why? Because Michael fucking follows me and I follow him at the store all the time. How good of a friend's of Michael Costa? How long goodbye?

I don't know him at all. But I sat there and cheered for Michael Costa because I know I'm cheering for myself. Hell yeah. It's just, it's like when you watch me go, I hope that motherfucker breaks their fucking ankle. Yeah. Listen, man, I'm a Santoria guy. I'm one of the real strength of Santoria is like, you know, whacking people, whatever.

I never used that. I never, when I, I was raised right in Santoria. My godmother was an old school Cuban and she used to go when you put energy out like that, nine out of 10, let's say it works. Let's say it's tape that slip and break this fall or whatever. Right. You know what? You're going to break your leg or something's going to happen to you eventually

because that comes around. Or the way it seems like for me is like, I end up, you end up putting that on me. I break my leg and then I'm the only one that's coming along when you've fallen off a cliff and you need a hand and I don't have the light that it takes to pull you up or whatever. It's like, amazing. And it's like that whole thing. That's what I mean about, like there's not a separation in us.

We're the fucking same unit. You have to cheer. I don't worry about what this guy's doing or what that guy's doing. It's got nothing to do with me. And I knew this 10 years ago, I made these correlations over the year, less and less, you know, the happiness I got was that one day I said, I'm not doing coke again until this day. I remember cocaine and I go, I don't know how I got rid of that happen.

I don't know, Tate. There was no rehab. There was no, I don't know what it was. Yeah, I could tell it was the cat. I didn't want, I didn't want my friends to, I didn't, there was so many reasons why I got clean. I mean, I didn't want to, I broke a promise. I didn't want to break a promise to the cat.

I didn't want my wife to find me on the floor, but most importantly, I didn't want people going up to Joe and Eddie and Tate and Ari and going, I told you so, I told you so. I don't ever want a motherfucker telling me he told me so. Fuck you. You know what? Not, not, not like, uh, yeah, it was, oh yeah, he died. That's no real surprise.

Right. You know what I mean? And it's like, I rather live longer and be like, what? Like everybody looks at me from, from high school or from whatever and they're like, that's a surprise. You know what I mean? Like I wasn't supposed to end up like this. I'm at five point restraints.

I'm fucking, I'm not anywhere near where I, like that's not where I'm supposed to be. How old did you not take? Uh, 42. And you graduated high school. You were a complete different individual. Yeah, I did graduate and, uh, and yeah, man, I was, I mean, the whole thing in, in, in like, I guess when I was 21 or something like that, like, in, in, on that

bank robbery back in the day and fucking like just a criminal like from, and, and kind of not caring and not really thinking like things to be different. I was just like, oh, that's just who I am and whatever. I'll just ride it, you know, whatever. And I'm not even mad. Like, uh, but none of that shit was true. You know, it was what it turns out. Like it's like, I had this story about myself that I'd been buying for a long

time and, and, uh, that hadn't been true in a long time, but I was still telling myself the same story, like you're a loser. You're never going to do nothing. And, and, and all this shit over and over again, playing in my head. It wasn't until I was fucking sober for a long time. I'd already been an ultimate fighter and fucking UFC, uh, was undefeated in a bunch of fights for a long time. And, and, and I'd been a leader, put together groups for, uh, SWAT and fucking

DEA and recon fucking, uh, hand-to-hand combat shit. And like, I've been a forerunner in all this shit. And it's like, I was so much like, like I'd grown into something different, but I still had that same story and it wasn't until just a few years ago where I was like, the way, the way you feel about yourself and what's true is fucking different. You need to get. Correlative with those stories.

Doesn't really define me anymore. It doesn't define me anymore. That's why I might have been 30. I mean, listen, I, I, I still remember thinking of ideas to do with my life and saying, it doesn't really matter because I'm a piece of shit. Right. I never, I never get it. Thinking of coming to LA.

I mean, that's why I love Biggie. Right. I mean, like, like when you, when you, when you listen to him, like, he's like, like he, he gets that shit. You know what I mean? It's like, uh, and, and like, he kills himself on tape and he's just like, I'm just tired of it. Like, and that's the thing after you, when you choose a life that beats you down

so much and you think, oh, it's just my circumstance. So I'm going to ride it, but you don't make different choices outside of that life. You'll stay there. It beats you down to where you're like, I like, that's desperation. That's not giving a fuck. Like, yeah. Yeah. I don't like losing tape.

Yeah. I don't like fucking something having control. I got locked up and when I walked out of those, I was like, this ain't ever going to happen to me again. A man having control over me, wake up, go to bed, turn the lights, kick your bed. I didn't like to control the cocaine hat over me. That's, that's like being in prison. It was my, it was a person.

It was my first daughter today. How is this going to get handled tonight? Well, I got $21. What do I need to do tonight? I need to eat. I need to buy a bag of reefer. You know what, I need to come up with another $80. And that was your mission.

Once you got the 80, then you relaxed. Now it's on to what's important in my life. What's not important. I have to write comedy. I have to write jokes. You know, that always came for a second. Well, and also what else does rant, cell phone bill, all that shit. You're like, no, no, this is the thing that must happen.

I got to get my dope money. Then outside of that, we'll see if we can keep the rent going. We'll see what the pieces fall. That is crazy. Let's see what the pieces fall. Yeah. Maybe I'll pay the cell phone or anything. Give them as 40 and they'll leave it out.

Always a weird hope. Like, like an almost a knowledge like, I'll wing it, man. I'll freestyle it and then this will work out. You're like, you're making horrible decisions about this working out. Take, no, no, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. In 87, I was such a criminal and I was so coked up that I would. I heard a story once.

Well, I didn't hear the story. I knew for a fact that a lot of people would bundle coat, right? And I'll get 80 kilos, but take 40, bundle it up and hold on to them somewhere and they put like an old lady in that house. And then a guy three blocks up with a shotgun and watching the house. And I remember I would drive through neighborhoods in Colorado, like not Boulder, but Lyons, shit up in the mountain. And in my head, I go, oh, that looks like a coke house.

Longmont and shit. Longmont. No, even no, no, even the other way. Like the other way I would go, wow, that house has cocaine in it. Like in my mind, I was going to break into the house because there was coke. And one night I actually went to a house and was like kids and white people and they were playing the fucking piano. And I'm like, see, the addiction was making me think this shit. Like it was playing the addiction had me.

It fucking had me. And I get it's so weird. The last three weeks, I'm getting a lot of emails from people going. We're in a bad place and the podcast is helping me. And I one of the emails I answered beautiful emails again. Oh, my God. And I said to myself, what's a bad place? What was a bad place for me? Yeah. I was like, oh, my God, a bad place.

I was in a bad place for fucking years. I remember, like I said, Tate, you don't know what happened to me after the longest show, because on the longest show, they booed smoking up my ass. Sure. So I thought once the longest show was going to get released, it was on. And nothing happened. And I'm sitting there going, when the fuck is my phone going to ring? Right. And I finally I remember going into going into a fox called me in for a pilot going,

this is the one. And I was this crazy character that drank and did drugs. So what did I do? I snored it, got into character in the morning and I walked in at 11 and the lady was like, can I talk to you? She goes, listen, you're in no condition. I'll never forget this. I never told nobody.

She goes, you're in no condition to read for this. She goes, what? You didn't get no sleep. I said, I'm in a great condition. She goes, all right, go in there and read it. And I read it and it was so bad. And I left like a white cocaine's got such a problem because it gives you that confidence when you have no right thinking that you should be confident.

You've done nothing to make yourself. This guy was a bum neighbor, like with a beard and like a hole in his t-shirt and like pistachio on his sweatpants. What do you think I wore the audition? Sweatpants with a piece staying, a white t-shirt. Authentic. With fucking holes in it and my hair all fucked up. And oh, my God, I'll never forget walking out of there going,

I got to do something about this drug problem. Yeah. This is fucking killing me. This is tricking me into fucking. Well, and it's like Groundhog Day, right? It's like, that's not the worst day ever. But it's like, here I am living the same fucking day. It's a different wallpaper and shit. But it's the same fucking day as when I'm 12 years old or whatever.

And I'm a grown man. What am I fucking doing with my life? When was the last time you did a drug tape? Was in 1994. And you still work with kids and stuff like that on the side. All that shit. That's the thing that keeps me close to it. You know, like I try to stay on the front line of it so that I remember it

because easily life can get too good. You know, they talk about like recovery and they go, you know, recovery is so great to get like recovered from drugs and booze and all that. But like recovery will take you away from staying recovered. You know, like you go out into places where it's like recovery don't exist. You know, like so it's kind of on me to keep myself present to it. And so, um, yeah, I, you know, like I think that's the rule, Joy, right? It's like you, you help where you can help, you know?

And I love that story about like there's a kid, there's a kid, you know, like, because there's the fuck, you know, there's so much to help. It's like, you look at dogs, they've euthanized how many dogs a day and all that stuff and cats and like, fuck, you can't save them all. You know what I mean? And there's a story a dude told me, he goes, uh, when I asked him why he's helping me, you know, and he goes, you hear about this old, uh, white businessman down in Mexico and he gets up early and there's been a storm

the night before and the beach is all littered with stuff. The sun's coming up and he's walking down. He sees a kid and the kid's flailing and he thinks he's dancing or something. Maybe he goes down and he gets closer and the kid's reaching down and throwing shit in the ocean and, and there's this starfish that have washed up all over the beach from the storm the night before and he gets up to the kid. He goes, what are you doing? He grabs one and whips it out in the ocean.

He goes, he goes, I'm saving, I'm saving these starfish like clearly dummy. And, uh, the guy's just like, he's looking at him. I'm always like, there are hundreds of thousands of these. You cannot possibly make a difference. And he picks up another one. He throws it and he goes, it made a difference to that one. You know, and I, and that story, it reminds me like, you know, a saying that, that masks that he says, you know, I might not touch a million people,

but I might touch one guy that touches a million people. And I think that's the thing when you spread good, you know, when you, when you really, when I have your best interests in mind, it fuck, that's what, what, what we're talking about. Right. It helps everybody's best interests. You know, when you do better, I do better. Like I need you to do better.

Like, and, and when I get into that kind of a position in my thinking, there's nothing but happiness. I got no problems. I got no fucking problems. You know, I, I sit home, get depressed. Sometimes what do I do when I do that? You better go help somebody. Tate, you know, it's always my fault.

You lonely. There's somebody more lonely. Call that dude up. You'll be, you won't be lonely and you'll be helping him. You know, and it's like, so those are kind of the places where I find my answers in that is, is, is in that community. You know, making somebody's day. I believe in making something, just calling somebody and somebody up on

Facebook, you'd see, you know, a fucked up morning or something. I love that shit too. I love calling for the lady at the drug store or wherever. Like she got a check out. It's like, man, if I can make her happy, that's nice, man. Like the more people making her happy, the more people she making happy. Lee knows that I always tell African American woman how good they live. Do I leave in front of my dad?

Yeah. Huh? In front of my, didn't from my dad. Remember, we had a good time. Yeah. Well, you're asking her like why you like were able to get clean and I've never been addicted to drugs. So I just don't know, but everything I've ever heard is like, you were just ready.

So for, it seems like for both, like you're asking like, maybe it was a cat, maybe it was this, it just feels like you were just ready. I mean, maybe the people who OD or something just never get to be right. Like they, they OD before they're running. I would, I'll put a caveat on that. And I would say I didn't, I got clean a thousand times. It's not, it's not cleaning up. That's hard.

It's staying that way. It's staying that way. It's a complete different battle. That's where the junkie has the trouble, right? And I didn't have the trouble. It was just hard to remember the costume lady on the, on the, on the, think of the costume that was an old woman from New York. Oh, you could tell she was hot when she was 20 and dirty.

She wore glasses and one day we were talking and I said to her, I don't know. We were smoking the trail and she goes, you fucking guys with the reefer. And I go, you never smoke. She was smoking time more than you guys. She goes, you know what's crazy? How crazy it is when you stop getting high. That's when you realize how crazy life is. When you, when you're looking at it now and you're not fucking high no more.

You know, on the reef, I'm fucking scared to quit reefing. That's why I try all the time. Like I'm trying to get scared of what do you think is going to happen? I just get in a bad mood. I just get in a bad mood. It's not like the blow and stuff. I don't miss the blow at all. I don't miss what came with it.

I don't miss the people I had to deal with. I don't miss any of that shit. I never liked the bar scene. The bar scene was always rough for me. Even when I did blow, I didn't want to go there. Oh, I fucking hate it. People would be like that. I worked in nightclubs for a long time and dudes would like, Oh, is it hard for

you to watch us all drinking and shit? I'm like, you are not my choice to companion. I will show you, you guys being taped and I will show you motherfuckers tomorrow. My shit is, let me get in the hotel room and close the windows up, turn the TV on, hit mute and I'm there. I'm good. Like I don't need anything like my life gets reduced. How much coffee do you drink a day or fucking day between five and 15 cups?

How do you sleep on the day? Easy, good. Good. Oh, and I just bought this great bed that made a huge difference. I know this is all caffeinated, but I sleep like I sleep crazy good. This is all caffeinated. Okay. You don't fuck around.

I don't be careful. We got some decaf, but I don't have it. I'm not a taste of it. No, me neither. I drink straight up coffee before I go to bed at night and fall asleep. But I don't sleep since I haven't been doing it. The nights I don't do it. I can feel the difference.

You feel the fucking differently. How you feeling, brother? I'm way fucked up, but I'm good. How'd you get fucked up, Lee? We split probably what 700? No, it was 10,000 grams in there. Now, Joe's got a bit about that now. Now, how do you know really how strong 10 milligrams is?

Well, like everybody's got a different grading system. If you ever eat one and you're like, oh shit, that. Okay, so that's five milligrams. You need another one and you can't get off. I ate a 200 milligram one on Sunday night and I couldn't talk. There's an edible that you eat 200 that you can't fucking talk. Do you periscope at all? I got to show the morning joint every morning.

Really? I smoke a joint with the fucking people. I smoke a joint with the people. How long do you stay on? Just depends every day. When the joint is finished, I smoke three bowls. I smoke two joints of reef and one bowl of hash just to fucking cover all, you know, I absorb all the business.

I try to make everybody happy. I just started it, like maybe a week ago or something, two weeks ago. Very interesting. But it's fun as anything. And the people on there are dope, man. Very interesting. It's really cool. Periscope is one of the best things they fucking made.

The best. Yeah. And I like it. There's another one before that. What was it? What was it before that? They had one that, is it Miracad or some shit? Oh, yeah, but it would go away.

It would evaporate like Snapchat, right? I have no idea. That's a little bit, I'm not that into the internet. There's that. And now Stevo just did it on Facebook. So I think he does get arrested. Yeah. But he, he streamed it on Facebook live.

So I don't, they, I think they came out with one now. Facebook did? They must have. He was protesting something and he jumped off something and got arrested. Sea world is some shit. That was crazy. What are you going to fucking do? Everybody's protecting, everybody's mad at something.

Fucking chickens in a cage. Chickens. I don't give a fuck. Right? Let me tell him. I don't give a fuck if you kick, I don't give a fuck if you kick the chicken. I was up at the store. I think it must have been there.

I heard this, but like, they're like, you know, everybody's mad about Cecil and they're like, yeah, mad about all this stuff. And like, and that's gross or whatever. Just some dude, just to snuff out a soul just cause he wants a thing on his wall or whatever. But he's like, you know, return on the animal planet. He's like, that, that's a goddamn slaughter show. That's a horror movie.

Like the, that you got hyenas that are fucking eating the, the buffalo, like calf while it's still alive and it's guts are out and it's looking at it. Like it is a fucking horror movie. It's a murder fest out there in the jungle. Like that's just what it is. Talk to me about coffee. What made you get in the coffee? Oh, what's in those pills over there?

What's those pills? Oh, these are old fucking, old oxys that I had from years and years ago. Are they still getting good? I don't know. I haven't never taken one. Let's put one with Lisa. Yeah, fuck that. It's still an oxy kind of thing.

Let's see the devil. No, I'm kidding. These are, they're, they're, no, they're hydrocodones. Oh, they're like, they're, uh, right to it. Yeah. How many of these, these things are fucking killing for Joey. You know what? I'll take one tonight.

I'll be sure I'll get up in the morning like Slim Jim fucking Magoo. You know what I'm saying? Um, they had the coffee. I don't know, man. All that stuff, you know, like, so, you know how you get, you're saying you got off the longest yard and you're like, oh, shit, it's going to blow up now. And it doesn't. And like, I look at that with every job that I get, like, I'm, nobody's more

surprised than me when my phone rings. I'm like, oh, fuck right now, man. It's still going, you know? Um, and then the job, the jobs that I get, I'm like, I'm fucking really honored to be a part of. I'm like, it's fucking awesome. You know, like this, this, this new show coming out that Westworld deal, it's going to be fucking epic.

It's going to be HBO's new huge series and like get to work with icons and the thing and like my whole shit has been like that. And, and, uh, but I always figured I'm about to be unemployed. Like every time you know what it's like working in the business is like, you got a job, you're already looking for your next job. Cause that job's going to end. It's got expiration date on it. And so, um, you know, so then I started, you know, me and a buddy,

we made that micro brew and then we did, did a Bloody Mary mix. And then I, I, all my breaking bad money, um, I dumped into a bar with a buddy of mine in Dallas called Concrete Cowboy and Concrete Cowboy is one of the hottest night clubs in the country every fucking week. And we got one in Austin now and we'll open one in Houston shortly. And so got into that, then the gym's going and, and, uh, Heather's running that with a couple of my boys, Ruben and Nate and, and, uh, Lorenzo came in. Lorenzo's one of my homeboys that, um, I used to fucking know in the bar,

he used to sell dope in there a long time ago. And then, uh, he got pinched after he'd been out of the dope game for like five years, but some fucking crankhead, uh, that allegedly drove for some people or something and drove some, you know, they were like a mule for weed. And, um, he, uh, he did four years or something behind it on a conspiracy charge, no dope, no money, just some crystal meth addict that, you know, like the way that, but the feds close on you. They're like, you got 200 grand for a lawyer because we got a 96% close rate.

So you want to do 15 years or you want to do four and everybody cops a plea. Every, it's the game, right? And so, uh, numbers don't lie, you know, and they got to keep the prison filled. So he on a, on a crime with no drugs, no money, and nobody getting harmed over alleged weed. He did that time, but he, he, uh, put CrossFit on four different federal prison yards that still going today. And, uh, now he's one of my main coaches, uh, Lorenzo Hernandez and, and, uh,

he's a bad motherfucker too. So it's like, I get to be around all those kinds of people. So that's going on. And then me and Jardine, we've been training partners for a long time and Lacey Mackie, uh, and I used to date and she's Tom Cruz's trainer. And she's a fucking bad motherfucker. She was a CrossFit games athlete for a while. And, and then she's a trainer to the number one action star in the world.

Just got, um, some props on, uh, for doing mission impossible, but she's been with him for a while and, um, she and I love coffee. And so we started a little coffee truck and do it. Went to the little competitions, just use the competition, CrossFit, whatever. And it was another big failure. It was a, and you know, it was like right when I blew up Dave Asprey kind of with bulletproof and all that. And, uh, got him a bunch of notoriety where Dave's sending me emails going,

thank you. I get to quit my regular job, man. This is awesome. Da da da da da. And then he went crazy, of course. But so then Keith hits me up one day and he goes, Hey bro, I met these guys too. And they're on this, they're like really coffee nerds like you, except they're from Columbia and they're extradited or they're, um, exiled from there.

They've been kidnapped a bunch. Their family owns a plantation, coffee plantation down there. And they live in Albuquerque now. He says, you got to meet him next time and come home. So me and Lacey met him. We went and got high as fuck on that white gold when they just made us like, and it's kind of like, it's like a light coffee, but it's like a high, uh, uh, high caffeine content.

And so he's making his espresso shots and we're loopy fucking like it. I'd never been high off coffee like that before. And, uh, I go, man, we got to share this with people. Cause like for the previous year I was sharing like single origin, single estate coffees, what my favorites were. And I'd fucking take pictures and put them up. And then Twitter people would be like, Hey dude, here's mine. And they would send them to me.

They're like, what's your address? I'm like, I don't know if I want to get my address out on Twitter. But anyway, they would, they would do that shit. And, um, and so that's kind of how it started. And so when we, when we got this, I was like, dude, we got to share this. We got to put up a webpage or something and just share it. And, uh, I called up Dave actually, I said, Hey man, I'm going to put up a webpage. Love to do your shit.

Our shit. He's like, no, no, no, that's competition. That things went away. Anyway, K-man coffee got built and we started, uh, making products. Then we got into cold brew and then we got into nitrogen. Um, you know, these little cans, these, uh, we're going to get like 5,000. These shipped to LA here shortly, but, um, nitrogen infused cold brew. So our cold brew is brewed over like 16 to 18 hours.

Um, these, they tell me are about three times the caffeine content of a Red Bull or some energy drink like that, which is they're dope and they're delicious. I never had a better coffee. And, uh, so that's kind of where coffee came from. And, um, There's a lot of caffeine that you guys are on three times. Listen, listen, I need that. Listen, I need that right now.

I need a lot of fucking things. Fuck suck it. So anyways, that, that was the whole deal. And like, I just go, let's make it all work. And how can we all make it work for everybody? And so I get to, you know, people like, how do you do all this shit? And how do you get all this shit done? It's like, like again, without community, without people, nothing.

I got nothing, but like, um, you know, you do shit. I'm like, I don't fuck with dummies. I only am around people that I love and care about and want to see them do great and that are smart and that can carry that torch. You know, there's a lot of people you want to see do great. They won't work very hard or that, you know, aren't really into it. And, uh, and I'm not with those people. I just don't, not, not that I don't love them.

Wouldn't want to carry them if I could, but I just don't have the time. You know what I mean? Like as I get older, I go, there's only so many shopping days left before Christmas. You know what I mean? And you better, you better shake the tree while you can. Maybe you only got 10 more years of being able to earn money at a really high rate right now. And right now it's just started to where, uh, I've been able to do that.

Like, and I got plans like, fuck, I want to be on a billboard. I want to be, uh, I want to, like, I got places I want to go in, in this career and in this life and what I, things I want to do, you know? And, um, and I think sitting on that stage, dude, I got that SAG award for Breaking Bad and sitting there and fucking Brad Pitts at this table and the whole game of thrones. And I'm like, we go on stage. I'm like living in a dream.

And I'm like, and it really more and more, the little moments of these years have, have crystallized into this thing of like, really, there's infinite possibility. Like whatever you want to happen can happen. And, uh, and so I'm just trying to push that forward with, and I learned lessons, you know, like fucking guys like you and Joe and all that show me so much. You know, there's a dude on Twitter, this guy, Jody Middick. And Jody was a sniper for the Canadian special forces.

I'd love you to have him on the show. He just wrote a book and I forget the fucking name of the book. Um, but at Jody Middick is his thing. Hey, his name is Jody Middick. Yeah. G-O-D is it? It's G-O-D-Y-M-I-T-I-C. And he just wrote this book that got out and dude, it's, it makes me cry.

But he, the first time he hit me up was on Twitter and it was about coffee. And I was like, oh, cool. And so we didn't even have any bags where just send, send him some. And I was like, what do you think about it? And, um, he said, cool, whatever. And then he sends me a thing a few weeks later. He goes, Hey, dude, do you think you can, uh, work out with me? If I come to LA sometime ago, sure, man, whatever.

And I'm like, this is weird. Like I've never met a dude off the internet. Like is this, what is it? You know? And, um, and then, and I'm like, it's not real. And I'm blowing this off or whatever. Unflinching? Yeah.

Unflinching. And then, uh, a couple of days or a couple of weeks later, he goes, Hey, would you mind if Vice came, uh, and we can work out at Logan's gym? I'm like, vice. And I'm, I didn't really snap that he's talking about vice.com. And I'm like, and how's he know Logan's name? And I'm like, wow, this motherfucker is like researching me or something. Like that's my buddy's name at deuce, Jim down on, uh, down on Lincoln in Venice.

And I go, yeah, I said, you'd have to hit up link or hit up a Logan and see, I guess. And, uh, he goes, okay, cool. And then he goes, oh, and then I make a fucking post. It is about the goddamn Olympic runner that runs on the, on the things. He's got no feet, right? And he runs on those little sleddy deals. And I go, of course, this guy's cheating. This is fucking, he's completely enhanced and, and, uh, like you can't run with

springs on your feet and be like, you're the same as me. Like you're going to be faster. And he says, and then Jody hits me up on Twitter and he goes, I'll be the one laughing when I have Hevercraft or something. I go, what are you talking about? I go, and why is vice coming to talk to you anyway? He goes, well, cause I'm doing a thing about, um, PTSD. He says, I was a sniper in the Canadian special forces and, uh, a lot of my buddies

have PTSD and I don't have it. And I lost my legs, uh, in the, in the war and I don't have it. And so I want to do some stuff. And I was like, holy fuck. I went and did a workout with him. He's as big as me from the knees down. He got no legs and he doesn't, he doesn't miss a beat man. And, and, and then they threw him all the army after he lost his legs.

And he became a politician. And so he's up in, I believe it's in Quebec, um, or Montreal, one of those. And he's, uh, he's just a bad ass dude, real positive, really great guy. And he's trying to do a book tour and, and, uh, get out there as much as he can. But, um, it's like shit like that, man. Like I get to meet dudes like that. Like it's like everybody makes me better than I ever thought I could be, you know? And that's the nice thing about being open to the universe, I think in those ways.

Is that I never, if I would have stayed the same dude I was and been like, fuck you, unless you're a six, four tattooed and fucking a skull on your face and your name's Tate, you don't know me. Like if I kept walking around like that, like, I don't, I don't grow at all. Like in the better you get, the better I get, man. And like the more I'm open to that, the, the better it is for me, you know? And it just, it gets proven to me over and over again. You're a fucking sabers.

Let me give him some shout out. Yeah. The fuck out of here. It's running late here, walk 33. Oh shit. Anyway, happy birthday to my man, Crom 27. World peace. Berkman, whatever, Berkham, whatever your name is, Mike Wilson, Jr.

Aaron Hayer, Cassius Morris, my little brother up there in fucking Canada, the boonies up there blaze one, Cory Gardner and Kevin Glenn, you bad motherfucker. So what are you doing? Are you going to Toronto or something tomorrow? Look at you. Yeah, I'm going. International fucking Lisa. Yeah.

On Thursday. I'm going on Thursday and on Friday night at 10 30, we're going to do a live flying to radio at the cafe underground where you can get me this high. So it brings me some good edibles. It's going to be fucking. I'm going to have Derek Burch, who's a comedy promoter. And we're going to talk about what it's like from his point of view. So I'm hoping that a lot of young comedians are going to come.

And then on Saturday at six o'clock, I'm doing a comedy seminar, a podcast seminar, sorry, not comedy, where we are going to go over. How high is this guy? Yeah, I'm not going to be this high during the seminar. I'm just going to talk about everything you need to do to start a podcast if you want to. It's at six o'clock. I thought you said you weren't good at the internet. Huh?

I'm good at this, but it's not. I don't like, I don't go on Reddit. There's a lot of sites on it. Like it's a lot now. There's a lot out there on the internet. There's a lot and there's too much and you can't, I don't Instagram. I'm not going to sit there and take fucking pictures. It hurts my feelings.

I always wanted pictures of you. I can't do it. I can't. I don't have the time. It's too much. I'm not a fucking picture. I was super impressed when you texted me the other day. Oh my God.

That's like, when did you start texting? I don't, I don't. I just fucking. And only 15 years. I've had three texts. He makes it out like once in a while. Once in a while, I'll break it out because I don't have time. How many, when your number comes up on that icon for text,

how many fucking, is there like 4,000 texts that are unread that are on your shit? You know what? I find them a week later. Yeah. Because let me tell you what happens. Let me tell you what happens. Let's say you call them. Let's say you text me and I don't feel it in my pocket and I don't see it.

This phone rings every 20 minutes. Right. Once the phone rings, the text don't come up. Only the phone calls and who left the message. Right. So you never go to the icons on your phone to look at. What fucking, I don't know no fucking icon. So he, so then what happens and see, here's what happens.

I got my money is right here. Email and phone. That's all I need. My Twitter is over here. The text is, the text is downtown Chicago. So I don't ever fucking see it. So if you text, I don't go to Chicago twice a year. So it's all the way, all I need is my money,

which is fucking email and my phone. Perfect. I don't give a fuck about Twitter when I'm out. I don't have time. What about messages, phone messages? Like somebody leaves a message. Like Jardine, he's a prick. He just lets his shit fill up and so he never gets a message.

Do you just go off there, somebody called, or would you prefer they leave a message? I'm going to be as honest as I can with you. I'm going to be as honest as I can with both of you. If that motherfucker isn't from 301, from Juville, that shit gets erased. If I don't get a call from Juville, Beverly Hills, 310, where the money's at for work.

My agent is 310. That's hysterical. I don't fuck around. My booking agent is 310 and my theatrical agent is 310. If there's not a call from Juville, you are in no fucking danger. I remember that old message you used to have. Yeah, I don't care. This is money.

It's not about money. It's not about us. That is either pussy or money. Or don't leave a message. Hi, Joey. Hi. This is Lee from Garden, whatever. I just want to let you know I wanted to touch base.

And then they'll leave you a six-minute message. And after 10 seconds, if you're not real, you erased that fucking thing. You know what, I hear somebody is here beating. I was thinking about that. Why haven't you had it for a while? What's that? The message.

Because I just torment people. I let them do what they're going to do anyway. And then when they bump into me, they go, you never called me back. You left me a message. You texted me. You're not supposed to text me. You know, first of all, listen.

There was a commercial years ago, eight, nine years ago, that touched my heart sincerely. And it was like eight. It was like American Airlines. OK. And the guy comes out and he goes, business is down 30%. He goes, this, this, this is down, this is down.

He goes, you know what's going on? We're depending too much on faxes and too much on emails. There's no more belly to belly sales. And that's what this company was made on. And he started giving out plane tickets and people were cracked. You got to go back out there. If you text me for work, if a $1,000 bill

don't come up over that text, I don't get back to you. I think it's unprofessional. You want to suck my dick? You want to text me? You text me. If you want to suck my dick, text me. So that'll work. I might bump into it.

If I open up a text as a picture, you're pushing your lips, I want this. I will text you back. You understand me? But if I see, hey, are you available, October 4th, on the text, 10 out of 10 times I erase it. I don't even accept the job because I don't want to do business with you.

OK. You want to suck my dick? There is a big thing, man, about like this, about coffee and shit, about the K-man deal, is that like, you know, with people, we get wholesale accounts that people call us. They're like, we want it. And so we'll put, like, one of our guys and go,

hey, do that. And then they won't check up sometimes. And I'm like, it's like weird, like people that are of the digital age that are kids, you got to reteach them and go, no, dude, go shake that man's hand. Go shake the hand. Have a coffee with him.

Sit down with him. And I want you in there twice a month. You need to check on these guys. Make sure everything's. It's fucking amazing. It's a trick. Just polite manners. You know, that goes so long.

I am embarrassed. I am embarrassed. Sometimes I walk into places with a pocket full of fucking 20s. Ready to drop a dime. And the treatment I get is unparalleled. The salesmanship that, listen, I don't want you selling me tape, but I'll tell you what I want you to do.

I want you to come up to me and say, hi, my name is Tate Fletcher. If you need any help at all, come get me. And leave me the fuck alone. Because now I'm going to hunt you. That's like that girl with the hot pussy. She don't chase you. You chase her.

Same fucking mentality. I remember going up to the fat man's store and 1,000 oaks to triple X, XL. Three fucking years ago, when I was 418, I had a $1,000 cash. Nobody would talk to me. Yeah. And I said, you know what, Terry?

Let's get the fuck out. She said, we came all the way up here. I go, these people have forgotten. I'm old school. I know what it is to sell. I know what it is to sit down and fucking sell. I've done all those jobs. Yeah.

So, listen, I get an email from you. It's interesting. I email you back. I know how to follow up. I sold cars. This is cars. You ready? Hi, Tate.

Joe D, blah, blah, blah. My philosophy was different on cars. I pushed one time. Listen, I could get you this today. No, I'm not ready. My wife, no problem. Come inside. Let me give you a brochure card.

Let me get your number real quick. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Boom, over. The card had your address. So the first thing, when you were out the doors, I'd hand write a letter. This is 1987 before I went to prison, guys. This is street.

You're in Colorado Springs? I'm in Boulder. This is street. This is what I learned from street. This is street. Okay. This isn't, I didn't take a course. I was 23 fucking years old.

I didn't take a course. I sold blow. I knew how to do blow. I know how to put, I know how to put a package together. All right. I don't know how to electric, change your flat. And I don't know how to do this podcast, Lee. I love you like a brother.

I don't know what I'm doing. But I tell you what I do know. I know how to leave the house at eight and come back at six with a thousand dollars. I borrowed it. But the point is I came home with a thousand dollars. Where did you come home with? Nothing.

And you know, tomorrow I'll go out and make 800 because I'll rob that chicken crosses feet at the fucking thing. I've done it a thousand fucking times. I don't know how to do a lot of things, but I know how to rock and roll. And you know how it taught me how to rock and roll? I did by watching my mom. I bought a book on sales way before I got into sales.

Telephone sales in 1980s. And I read this thing front and back. And when I used to sell cars, so you leave, you get a letter the next fucking day. And 24 hours after you come in, you get a call. Listen, take a clutch of Joey Dears. I don't want to bother you. All I want to say is maybe you have a question for me

that I didn't answer while you were here. Right. No, but thank you for calling. And when they come back and don't they say it to me? We don't even like the Subaru. We came back because you sent us a letter. We called us. We went to six different places.

Nobody fucking called us to send us a letter. I'm very always thinking, I want to do what the other guy ain't doing. Well, and the thing is, is what I found when I came to LA is that it's so fucking easy to be better than the next guy because they're worried about different things. And I'm like, I want to be the best guy so I can make this guy's business the best.

And like, when you come with that attitude, fuck. And you show up on time, that's a wrap. You're the guy. You know, you got to be consistent and be polite, smile, look at people, shake hands. You're ahead of everybody in the world. Everybody. Because we, it's a trip, New Mexico's like that too.

Live with a bunch of entitled motherfuckers. And like, if you're the one guy that's not entitled, you're going to rise to the top, man. Like that's for sure. I'm going to tell you guys this story that I haven't told anybody. I think I told my wife the other day. Let me tell you how fucked up.

And I don't feel bad about it. I feel like this is LA. Right. This is LA. So I go to, I go to, I sign up at Higgins last August 6th. Okay. And I go to Higgins the whole month of August and I get knee surgery.

And I take the month of September off and they have a manager there. And he keeps calling me. When are you coming back? You know, we're worried about you. We're thinking, okay, and I go back there. And we start doing exercises. I go back there and instead of me rolling and stuff,

he'd make me drill. And he'd make me do all this hip work to strengthen my leg. I was a solid guy. I liked the fucking guy, you know? I keep going back. I keep going back. At this time, Higgins was getting busy with his other school. And he wasn't teaching a lot.

Yeah. He was down at 87.11, down in Inglewood for a little while. I think at a stunt school. Right, a stunt school. So he was, and I was going and Dave was teaching. This guy, Dave, was teaching. And I'm just going to tell you about a lot of people. So we're going back and forth about what we're buying.

I'm really liking this guy. I like the class. In fact, you called me when I, are you coming to class tomorrow? They're real cool down there, Higgins and Beverly Hills. I just go on Wednesdays. Yeah. And, but I'm going in.

It's December and one day I go and this guy's not working at the thing no more. They go, I don't know what happened. So I'm working out with the guys about three days that are my phone rings. And it's this guy. And he goes, how are you doing, blah, blah, blah, blah. I go, good.

And he goes, listen, man, I don't know. I know I don't know you too well, but I'm in a really bad bind. And this is what I usually get to work with people for jiu-jitsu. If you give me this number, I'll give you this amount. And you know me, I count the real effort because I'm a Cuban Jew. And I go, I'll give you this amount.

And this is what I want. And he did it, you know. And I did all that. I completed the 10 sessions. Fucking great. We got along great. He taught me a lot of jiu-jitsu stuff. We do conditioning.

And then we do jiu-jitsu to finish it. And then he'd stretch me out really well. I mean, fucking tremendously. You know, I got to save you. Somebody came to me and wanted to refer me to him. And this went on. And I would call him and go, hey, man, how are you doing? I go, listen, if you need cash, you go, yeah, yeah.

Let's do the same deal as last time. So there was one thing left, one training session left. And about, and I went like three of them, three different times I went with him. And I, you know what? The guy was consistent. He did a great job. He was always on time.

I think one time he was fucking late. But he gets a job. He says, you have to come here now. Right. He goes, you can't meet me over there no more. You have to come here. Because did he get kicked out of that spot or something? No, no.

We were working on like in this little room. He had like a basement downstairs. Right, right. And he moved. But then he got a job at this popular gym in town. And he went over there and he called me over there. And one day he goes, hey, you have to sign this. And they want it like fucking three something

to work out in there a month. And I'm like, listen, dog, I can't do no. Like I'm not the one. I got a two year old at the house. This is Hollywood people here, you know. He's like, well, come on down. This guy hangs out here and then I can listen. I don't want to see these people.

This isn't my life. This is not what I meant. I meant the dark corner with guys sweating on me. I'm cool, I'm a man, dog. I'm cool. And he goes, all right, and you know what? I came to the store the other night. Really?

And I said, what's going on? And he goes, oh, I'm getting, I have NHL people. I'm getting $200, you know? And I'm like, that's funny because he did a movie thing for me. It's like when you do a movie, when we're shooting a movie and I call you, you answer the phone. The minute I'm off that movie and I call you, now I got to leave a message.

Yeah. And it was so weird how he went from A to Z. He was like, I said, when are you going to come down again? And he goes, oh, no, I'm too busy with these guys now. I can't, I'm getting like $300. Wait until you get that next phone call. Can you fucking believe that? And I wasn't surprised.

Lee, wake up, you fuck. Jesus Christ, drink some coffee. Look at heroin guy over there. He's like, just giggling. He ain't giggling. Now at that point, he was nodding to the fucking side. Like I used to, when I had to sleep at him. I'm worried about you driving home.

Oh, he's fine. Are we going to go up to In-N-Out and just neck a few burgers, just get some energy? That's what he wanted. I'll be here for a while. He's lost 100 pounds. Really? Almost, yeah.

Yeah, 96. He's in Jiu-Jitsu now. We did kettlebell class. Awesome. Fucking right on, dude. I'm trying. It's horrible. It's funny that this fucking guy in here would call me

when we were on the road and we'll go, hey man, come downstairs, let me train you. And I'll always give you some excuse. And now the first thing I do before I leave my fucking house is go to that hotel webpage. To see what type of gym they have and if they have a pool. So I can bring my goggles. It's cool, huh?

I remember we went, I wouldn't even go to those gyms. I would walk past them and run away and leave. Pew! I wouldn't even consider going to a gym in a hotel when I was on the road. Fuck you. Who goes on the road to work out? You know what's crazy is when you flip it

and you're like, you get a little consistent. You're like, I don't feel good unless my blood is moving through my whole body. I don't feel good unless I'm in this fucking conversation of movement. I work out Monday hard, Tuesday hard, and Wednesday hard. And Thursday I fly. Right.

So I take the day off. I don't think I'm going to make jiu-jitsu come on. How bad does that fuck you up too? It's like if you're not working out and moving and you fly as much as we do. Oh my god. You're a stiff bitch. Yeah, you're stiff.

You're fucked. So Friday I try to lift weights. It's not good for you. And Saturday I lift weights at the hotel. When I fly back Sunday, then it's business as usual. If I'm home on a Sunday, I'll go roll at 10 o'clock over there at VMAG. Right on.

I really like it though. It took me, I remember you used to take me to Alberto Crane's place in Santa Fe. Yeah. Me, you, Ivan Salifari. Back in Long Beach Art. Me, you, Ivan, Maury Smith, and Bob Sapp. We're over there one day.

When were you in the van with me one day when I called them Godzilla or King Kong? Dude, and that's what we were talking about, like what he is in Japan. It's, he is like King Kong incarnate. He's like, he is that to Japanese. It's like there is a big black fucking like that is, and that's who Bob Sapp is.

Fucking huge. Like he is like a behemoth of a dude. They look at him and they're like, they think the city is getting attacked. And they love him. He was like, I got Bobblehead dolls, key chains. He had everything. He's like, they got dildos.

I'm like, they got Bob Sapp dildos. He's like, dude, everything. Watches, swatch watches with his name in it. They marketed the fuck out of him. Yeah, the fuck out of him. They did, it was crazy. It was crazy. He maybe is the most marketed fighter there was.

And then he had these cats. They were like feral or like, they were like onyxes or something. They're like right outside of the jungle. Like they were bigger and they're fucking, and they're pissed and shred everything. I was like, why do you have that in your house? That's a wild animal. He's like, oh, I love these things.

There's a great, all right. I know Ocelots. That's what they were. I think Ocelots. It was great to have you on. Man, it was good to be here, dude. Pleasure to see you doing well. Every fucking movie I see,

I see you jumping through the air and getting shot. You know, it's fucking tremendous. There's a big one coming out, the accountant. You're going to love it's Ben Affleck. And right when he got done doing Batman, Superman, he went under that. And that'll be coming out shortly. And then a movie called Blood Father with Mel Gibson.

I got a little role in that, too. It'll be out in a little bit. How was Mel Gibson with you? He was fucking cool. Cool as shit. Dude, you know, everybody says all that shit. And I always go, God help me if somebody takes a snapshot of me at the worst part of my life

and passes that off as the total of my life. Because to watch him work, that is a genius. Like, when I'm watching him, dude, I'm like, I would love to spend a week with this guy I just talking to. He's badass. He's badass. He knows his shit.

The director from the cinematographer from our movie, Longest Yard, and him were best friends. Dean. Okay, I remember Dean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You worked with Dean and him were best friends. All the way that he was the first AD on Road Warrior. Yeah.

So he has all those stories about them crashing the car. Was that before Gallipoli, do you think? Look it up. It was Mad Max, Road Warrior, 82. Mad Max was 82. It was when they did, they did Mad Max. They were in the late 70s and early 80s, I know, yeah. Mad Max was 80.

Road Warrior was 82. Because I had just graduated high school. They know each other. And here's the funny thing. That way before all that stuff came out. Was it Dean Semler? Dean Semler. Yeah.

Dean Semler. Dean Semler, let's give him a round of applause. And he goes, I have one in the academy. No, 82 films plus one. He would always say something to me. Dean Semler, ladies and gentlemen. He always made a joke about himself. But the one day I remember hitting him up early.

And he was on the phone. And he went, hold on. And he was laughing. He goes, oh, I gotta go, chap. And he goes, that was Mel Gibson telling me his racist joke of the day. Oh my god. And what happened was, listen, man,

who doesn't have a fucking friend? Of course. That calls you up and says, listen, I just drove by two fucking specs, sitting on a wall and you giggling. And then you see him a week later and he's talking to his daughter's Spanish husband. Right.

That happens. It's not that you're just that you're racially stupid, like I am. You just say stupid shit. I don't hate nobody. I don't hate nobody. I mean, people go for funny. They go for funny.

And they don't mean to hurt anybody. No. You know what I mean? It's not mean spirited. But somebody takes it out of context. Sure. You know, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that's not Mel Gibson.

Anybody who's from Mel Gibson really knows he's fucking. He just loves. Listen, for 3,000 years, here's how much we've changed. The Indians want the fucking buffalo people to do that, right? The Atlantic people. You know, never complain. You know, who's never raised their hand in this society.

And I want you to think, if I'm fucking lying, I'll give you $500. Pollocks. What have you heard the Pollocks go on national TV and say it's over? Are generations are decriminalizing? No more. How many Pollocks does it take to squeeze a light bulb?

Right. How many? They got, when I was a kid, there were books on fucking Polish. Yeah, dude. They never complained one thing. The Indians, you can't do this. The Atlanta Brave game. The Blacks, you can't do this.

The Spanish people, now the Hispanics. Everybody's always had a fucking beef. The Pollocks have never said fucking who gots. Nothing. You ever think about that shit? Never. Irish. They don't give a fuck when they come in the country, man.

Everybody. It's like, I think there is that thing of like, people like to complain. And if like, it doesn't even matter if they really agree with it, they're like, there's something I could be against. And it's like, you can't fucking make yourself a human by defining yourself by what you're against. That's fucking weak.

You know what I mean? Go be a bouncer real shit. Raise your hand and writing letters. Lisa, you got time for all that. Have a great fucking weekend up in Toronto. I hope people send them to the podcast and hang out with you. And they give you some edibles. And you get stuck in fucking Canada for a month up there.

Canadian Uber. You don't know what might happen. Canadian fucking Uber. They'll take you to fucking Paris. Pull up on a moose. What am I going to see you again? You'll be around. Maybe tonight, dude.

I got to work tomorrow on the next day. And then I'll be, yeah, man. I got a 10-45 at the store tonight. Tonight you do? Yeah, 10-45, do a little show tonight. I want to give a shout out to my main motherfuckers on it. I love you, motherfuckers. Always, whether it's the alpha brain or the shroom tech sport,

I live on that fucking shit. I took those shroom tech sports today before the kettlebell class. I was throwing up those motherfuckers. I was on fire today. That was why shroom tech. They make you happy too. The shroom tech sport, it's like it changes your mood

and do a happy. It's not like the ephedra and shit back in the day where you're like, eh, eh, eh. It's like, I don't know, I don't know what's in there. People always give you shit. Pre-drink. Sure.

I don't do none of it because all this is fucking caffeine. I don't want that shit. The shroom tech goes in smoothly and it comes in later. After a while, I'm breathing and I can't catch up with my breath because I have more breath than I usually have. Now I'm going the other way. Usually I can't. I'm sucking wind because of the reef

and now I'm going the other way. I got too much fucking energy. So anyway, who the fuck gives a fuck? You can make the decision. Go to honet.com right now. Look at that page. They got great supplements and they got battle ropes and stuff, but I can't save you on that.

What I could give you is 10 points off today on Honet, whether it's fucking the shroom tech, whether it's the alpha brain, which listen, even if they don't want it back. Let's say you get the alpha brain, you don't want it. We don't want it back. We'll send you the fucking money. Who does that?

Who does that? Nobody. You go to honet.com and press in. Sure story. Boom motherfucker. And get 10% off your first order and it gets delivered right to your fucking door. You don't have to go no way.

You don't have to go to the store. I'm going there today. I got to make, I'm all out of alpha brain, all out of shroom tech sport. They're my two favorites. Oh my God. Fucking tremendous. Now, always remember one thing.

Uncle Joey's always trying to give you some fucking love. You walk into a grocery store. You find the holler snacks. You sit around, right? You're in a good mood. If you don't even know, you got to leave the fucking couch. You got to take a cab. You got to take an Uber if you're Lee.

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I wore them today to fucking whatever. My legs were sweaty. My t-shirt was sweaty. You know, my fucking ball sack was dry as fucking. I went home to take a shower. I swear to God, if I had time, I would let you come over and touch them. That's how I roll for the small 20, you know what I'm saying?

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Don't forget naturebox.com. Use code word Joey. And use code word Joey for meundies. Don't forget, go to naturebox.com and get the first box on them. Five big bags and honored.com. They're always there for you, cock suckers. I'm going to be at the DC Improv all weekend rocking it,

taping a CD. Let's see what happens. Tate Fletcher, I love you, cock sucker. Thank you for the glossy. God bless man, love you. And Lisa, yeah, you really, you really got to get it together. I ain't got to get it together. I ain't got to get it together.

Are you crazy? Look at the fucking shape of you. Oh my god. Okay, you asked the question. What's the rest of his day look like? Not much. You asked a question earlier. How do you know what 10 milligrams is?

Yeah. We know kind of what the milligrams is going to do. You look like you got cerebral palsy. I know. The issue with him is that he just cuts an indeterminate amount. It started out as something. There was a piece in there. This is amazing.

And one of them had to do play fucking measure sticks. We cut it in half, we ate it, and we went deep. See? Salute, you bad motherfuckers. Have a great weekend. Uncle Joe here, Tate Fletcher, and my main man, Lisa. Yeah, put the music on this one. Thank you, Lee.

That was amazing. Now that the show's over, don't forget to go to naturebox.com and sign up to get a sample box of great tasting, of great tasting, healthy snacks on them. Forget the vending machine and start snacking smarter with healthy and delicious treats like barbecue cut out kernels. Go to naturebox.com slash joey. That's naturebox.com slash joey.

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I'd like to fly But not a way to spend so many days Down in a wall and they pull all the stones In that place I'm eating the sun till my blood has been burned off the taste I haven't killed the impending myself in the deep I will speak no more of my feelings beneath Down in a hole

Feeling so small Down in a hole Losing my soul I'd like to fly But not a way to spend so many days There may be something There's a lot I want to be inside of you I'll give this part of me for you

Oh, I want to be inside of you Stand right down and here I sit Oh, I want to be inside of you Oh, I want to be inside Down in a hole Feeling so small Down in a hole Losing my soul

Down in a hole Feeling so small Down in a hole I can't control I'd like to fly But not a way to spend so many days Thank you for watching!