Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #327 - Anjelah Johnson

Episode Date: October 22, 2015

Anjelah Johnson, Comedian, whose comedy special "Not Fancy," is on Netflix, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   MeUndies.com Go to meundies.com/joey for 20% off.   Recorded live on 10/19/2015.   Music:   Snoop Dogg - Gin and Juice Rage Against The Machine -Killing In The Name Of

Where are you this weekend? San Jose. So you're out every weekend? Yeah, for the rest of the year. Actually, till December. I, December, I'm not. I got a two and a half year old, man. I can't go out every week.

It breaks my heart. It's hard. It kills me. I'm too old for that stuff. See, when I was young, and I wanted a headline every week, nobody wanted a headline. And I was ready to go, and I would stay out for a year. I would bus it across this country.

I would leave LA in November and come back in April. No way. And send clothes back from different Walmart's and stuff. Yeah. Wow. And now, this started three years ago, and I can't do this now. I'm 24 years old, and I don't want to do this now.

But now I really like it. I really like going out and taking pictures and hanging out with people. And I only do Thursday, Friday, Saturday, so I'm back Sunday, first flight. So I get to enjoy the baby and stuff. So, let's do it, dawg. The show is brought to you by meondies.com.

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Shumtech Immune, Shumtech Sport, use Code Word Church to get 10% off. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. The church of what's happened now. Angela Johnson in the house. Huh. Lee Syat in the house.

Special Monday afternoon edition. Oh, shit. What? Make it happen, Lee. A little wiggle, Uncle Joey. Oh. Oh, bust it, Lee. Bust it.

Bust it, Lee. Show him. You got a Spanish girl from Lee. Oh, look at you trying your hardest. Show him. Get it. Get it. He wiggles.

He wiggles. He wiggles. He's got a Mexican girlfriend. She breaks it down from and stuff. Monday, October 19th. Lee's face. I've never seen it this red in my life. Oh, my God.

What's happened, brother? We don't really have. I've never really wiggled for it because most people come in and know the setup and stuff. But this is all new. So it's like, I don't know. I got nervous.

Angela Johnson made you wiggle. You got all blushed. Look at you. It's a snoop dog. I don't know if I'm allowed to wiggle the snoop dog. It happens. Angela Johnson, what's happened? Snoop makes you wiggle.

Snoop makes you wiggle. It's great to have you on. Thank you so much. And it was hysterical because I was speaking to your friend and she goes, well, Angela says to follow, you know, she follows you onto it. I go, listen, I wanted to tell you her this story, but I'll tell you when I was in high

school, there was this girl in high school. There was a beautiful young girl that reminded me of you. Her name was Patty Emerson. And I used to hang out with gorillas in high school. And this is how nice we were. Every time Patty Emerson would walk by,

we'd look at each other and we'd look at Patty and all of us at the same time. We'd go, nah, because she was such a nice girl and we never want. We used to, in fact, we went from an awe of being, like, looking at her to protecting her. Whenever she would date shitty guys,

you'd always shake them down and say, get the fuck out of the neighborhood. You're my Patty Emerson. I don't want you to see what I write on Twitter, the disgusting stuff. So whenever I see you, I'm on my best behavior. It's the weirdest thing.

I love you. It's the weirdest thing. Whenever I saw you at the thing, the out festival that we did in Denver, was it Denver? I don't know. Oddball. Oddball.

It was an oddball. We did something. Oh, no, no, no. We did this thing in San Jose. Okay. It was either San Jose or it was L.A. No, no, no. That thing up by the bay.

The radio. The radio thing we did. Yes. It's Wild 94 9 Comedy Jam. Right. I remember I saw you. It was either that one or the L.A. version.

I don't drink in front of you. I don't do not in front of Angela Johnson. So you're just that type of person that you're so sweet. But I'm like, you know what? If it's I won't even cross. I'm like Satan compared to Angela. Not even.

Well, you're so sweet. Thank you for what's happening. You know what stuff is happening. I'm happy. I'm healthy. So that's that's good. I think we take for granted a lot of the little things because we're always

striving for more, especially us artists, comedians. We're always striving for the next level, the next gig, the next something. So sometimes it's hard to be content just right where you're at. So I think I'm practicing that right now. For sure.

We were talking about that. That film for me is dead. Like I still get calls like people like, Hey, what are you doing? October 16th. Are you available? Yeah. We'll get back to you.

And they put a pen in you and then you. Oh, they want a different. I forget about it. My agent calls me back to go. You're like a voodoo doll. You got so many pins in you. Yeah. So many pins in me.

And my agent calls me like four in the afternoon. I get a call. Oh, they took the pen out of you. They went in different directions. So what'd you call me for and bother me? Yeah. I forgot all about that pen.

Oh, yeah. I can tell us about that pen, but it's similar. We were talking about acting how for you, like you were 2007. Yeah. I'm mad TV and all of a sudden that acting strike, that writer strike.

I was on my name is her. I had done four episodes and we, up to me in December, they called me like a two one day and they will come in at 430. It was so cool. And on the way out, he goes, listen, you got, we're going to stay at the prison. Another 13 episodes just picked the dates.

He goes, just see the ones you're on. Boom. They went on strike. Then they started all over again without the prison. So I lost my little NBC push because there's nothing like being on NBC during pilot season. You follow me.

That's when you want to be on. You want to be on TV between December couple episodes, a cold case, something. Yeah. But that blew it all. And that was just the, I booked an NBC pilot a couple years ago, one of the leads.

And I was like, Hey, look at me now. And then what happens? Recast. Did they really? Yes. And then what happened? It was me and Al Madrigal.

I played his wife. And what was the show? It's called about a boy. It was on two seasons. They recently canceled it, but it was cool. Jason Cadums created it Friday night lights, parenthood. Come on now.

You know what I mean? It was like, it was a great opportunity. And they talked about recasting both of us, me and Al. They're like, Oh, there's two ethnic ones. Get them out of here. But then it was just me. And they ended up casting somebody a little older

and whatever it was. Pilots are a tricky thing. Pilots have always been a tricky thing. I booked like eight of those things. You know that I was the king of pilots. And my first one was the one that was going to be the big one. CBS, they hired Sydney Pollock to direct it.

A million dollars. They gave them to go up against NYPD blew a cop show about the Bronx. Joey, you need to be in town these dates. I was already looking at houses. I was one of the leads. They gave me 11 out of 13. The first season as a bartender world,

the cops hung out in the attorneys. I mean, I was like, I'm going to be in Miami, and then calling me and going, Hey, it didn't get picked up. I'm going, I don't understand. I went to 18 table things. I went to 22 things. What do you mean? Then I was doing County somewhere one night.

One of the writers came up to me. He goes, they're going to bring it back. CBS is going to do a mid-season replacement. They give Sydney Pollock a million dollars. Why would you give Sydney Pollock a million dollars in episode if you're not going to pick the show up? But that's why. That's why.

Yeah. They couldn't afford it. It's so weird. I booked four pilots at Fox. Wow. One of them got picked up, the Louis Guzman show. Uh-huh. And then they wanted to go with a white cop

instead of the Latin cop, which is a recast in my world. Then I got picked up for happy hour. Same thing. They recast the landlord. They used me to shoot the pilot. They liked the laughs. Then they want a little bit more subtle because the rest of them were what do you call those actors improv?

Like what's. Improvizers? Yeah. Improv. Oh, and. Oh, iOS. They were all grounding actors. I mean, we should have seen these guys.

They were getting limos there and shit. It was like that big break. And I was like the outside of the stand up comic. I was like, ooh. But you know. Ooh, you write your jokes. The show lasted. The show lasted five episodes.

So fuck them. So the hell with them. Which is more frustrating for you guys. The business of stand up or the business of acting? Well, for me, I say acting because it's out of my control, you know, whereas stand up. I write my own stuff and I go on the road and it's up to me to keep the audience entertained and and to book the shows,

you know, but in the acting world, you have so many hoops. You have to jump through. You have a network has to approve of you. Producers have to approve of you. Casting has to approve of you. Everybody has to approve of you. And then if you didn't write it, you're going off somebody else's words and they rewrite it.

And you went from having five pages of dialogue to one page of dialogue and then you end up getting recast. And like, I have no control over any of that. It's like, I'm just, you know, their little puppet. They put me wherever they want. And then even when you create your own stuff, everybody thinks it's so easy to just, well, just start making your own things. Really?

That easy? It's not that easy. If your gift is not screenwriting, if your gift is not producing, it's not so easy to just make your own stuff. And then even if you do write your own show and you sell it to a network, then they pick it apart and they make it what they want it to be. Because we want you to have a white husband. Yeah.

I don't get it. You know, they just, I knew a girl in this town that was a good looking girl, but not a playmate, you know, whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she sold the show and they came to this girl and they said, listen, we want the show on ABC. The only problem is we want you to play the sister. We don't want you to play you.

We want you to play the sister. We have to go with a more attractive girl. This girl just fell apart. I mean, she said, I don't even know what she said and she fell apart. And she came back eight or nine years later and she wouldn't got married and that kid didn't know she does stand up around town. But there's things like that that are out of your control. That's gotta be, you know.

But so is at least the beginning. So it's getting booked as a, as a comment. Like you can't listen. All this stuff is hard. Right. You know, we don't want nobody at home to think I love when people like, oh, it took you two years to book a show. It took me three weeks.

I took one acting. All right. Don't worry. It's gonna catch up. Yeah. You don't have to pay you do somewhere along the line. Yeah. Some people come to town and book something right away.

I did. I booked something right away. I was like, oh, I got this. And then I went to like 20 major auditions. Well, I fell on my ass. And I'm like, okay, I'm not to go to acting class now. Cause everybody was saying you're a standup. You don't need acting class.

Okay. That worked until I blew 20 auditions. And I went to an acting class and then I had something to work off. And then I started booking, you know, cause the stand up did help. I could go into a room and blow up a room with four people. That's what you get from stand up. The advantage we have over actors. You were saying when you first moved to LA though, your first passion.

It's such an unreal thing. Like with me, my first passion was stand up, but nobody wanted to talk to me. I was always too dirty or too old, but I'm booking all this shit. And I'm like, wow, how could the, the acting world accept me? But that's the one I didn't really want. Like I would go, I would go in for stuff. I booked a pile. I booked a show one time, three episodes on NBC show.

When I walked in, I told the woman right now, I'm not right for this. And she goes, what do you know what you're right for? Because my name is not active. I'm not going to book this. She goes, read the thing. And I go, I'm not going to book this because I'm going to New York for the Sopranos. I'll never forget this. And she goes, no, you're not.

You're going to be here Monday. You're going to producers. She knocked it out. She fought me in the room. Like I did not want to be a nice show at all. I'm like, I'm just coming up here. The respect for my manager is better than canceling an audition. I was going to tank it.

And she's like, you could do better than this. Read it. I'm like, I don't want to read this. And she gave me three episodes of this guy. Wow. The complete opposite. I'm over here. Are you sure you don't want me to do it one more time?

I don't want to do it. I didn't want to do it. They rewrote the road for me. Wow. Like from heck to the Michael. That's why you never know what you're walking into. So as an actor, I didn't want stuff after a while. I never go on the comedy store one night and going out with people and get eating

something and getting sick. And the next day they're calling me going, they're waiting for you in a producer's session. And me going, I can't make it. I can't even drive. I'm so sick. And they're like, we'll give you an hour. You need to be here.

And I booked a movie with James Coburn, an American gun. I'll never forget that. So in the beginning when I came here, I didn't want most acting jobs. And I got them. I wanted to be a stand up, but Montreal wouldn't take me. The improvs wouldn't book me. Nobody would manage me. So I was dead.

And now it's completely different. Like now I like to book some TV once in a while, just nothing, nothing. Do you think it'll go in like another? Well, it's peaks and valleys. I'm not complaining. I'm not complaining, man. I'm complaining. Really?

You have no reason to complain. No, I'm kidding. And then, you know, you have the age gaps also in this town that a lot of people don't know about. You know, you have to be from the age gaps or a motherfucker. That's what really a lot of people understand. Because from 35 to 40, you're dead in this town because they're looking for 40 or 50. Yeah.

I'm finding I'm in that weird right now. Yeah. She's in a weird place right now. I'm not young enough and I'm not old enough. There you go. That's exactly where I'm at right now. And I remember the first couple of auditions, I started getting the feedback. She's too old.

It was like, well, what? I'm too old. What are you talking about? And then I go in for like, okay, the mid 30s. They're like, oh, she's too young for this. What do I do then? It's crazy. I got here between 35 and 40.

It was hell. It was hell. They're like, we can't hire you if you had white hair. Yeah. White hair. What are you crazy? And now I got white hair and now they don't hire me. Now when I show up to an audition, they're like, would you consider dying your hair?

How crazy is that? They always ask me because your hair would be too shiny for the camera. Can you just put some powder in it and unshine it? It's so weird. Whatever you want. You know, Ralphie Mae read for Blow and they told him he was too small. Wow. Like, what does Ralphie Mae do?

What do you do? And look at the guy they hired. He was a big guy. Yeah. Ralphie is a big guy. Yeah. Ralphie is like, you know how hard I've been working on this? For this?

Yeah. And now I'm not big enough. I saw you in something though recently and I can't remember what it was. Enough said. James Gandolfini. There you go. Is that what it was? It was.

Okay. I know I saw you in something. Probably that. I'm guessing. I don't know. You played the other girl's house lady. Yep. Played the housekeeper.

Oh, I've always had a crush on that one. Julia Louis-Dreyfus? No. Tony Collette. Tony Collette always had a crush on her. Something about her voice. Something that I like. Her accent maybe?

Something. Where's she from? Australia or New Zealand? Something like that. She did something that I really liked her in. Yeah. But she did the movie with Pacino when they had the make-believe woman that was with Jay Moore.

You ever see that movie? No. I don't see it. Pacino, they had a make-believe movie star. They put her in a bunch of stuff and then she wouldn't show up to all the premieres and stuff, which made her even more popular. Oh. So now they had a producer.

The studio wanted to see her. They wanted a producer. She was just like a fake woman or something. Wow. No, I've never seen that. I don't know. These movies. I've never seen that.

There's just too many movies. I think it's a really bad movie. But now when you fly, they have like, I don't know what Airlines has, the top 100 AFI films. Have you seen that? What airline is it? Delta, perhaps. I think it's Delta. Delta has Delta Studio now, where you can watch all kinds of stuff.

All kinds of stuff. So that really makes a big difference. People don't fly a lot. I don't know if you've been flying lately. I watch most of my show, my new shows on the airport. On the airplane, because they're all available there. Every show that I say, oh, I got to watch that. I got to get into that.

And I don't do it because I don't have time to just sit and watch TV. When I'm on the plane, I'll go through all the shows. What shows are you watching now? Well, I'm not really watching anything. But on the plane, I saw Grandfathered, which I thought was really funny. Who is that? Is that one? Stamos.

Yeah. Stamos. I always get Stamos confused with Homeboy, who's on the other show that comes on right after The Grinder. It's Fred Savage and Rob Lowe. Rob Lowe and John Stamos. I always get them confused. But I saw both of their shows.

I thought they were great. I like to watch the shows that aren't critically acclaimed. I like Criminal Minds and Law and Order SVU. Well, Mariska Hargitay wins awards a lot. But I'm not hip on all the shows that everyone's talking about. Like Orange is the New Black and True Detective and all that kind of stuff. I just want to watch cheesy shows. Like Criminal Minds.

That's one of my favorite shows. See, I'm a Law and Order type of dude. Oh yeah, Law and Order SVU. Law and Order SVU is too disturbing. Too disturbing. You just like Law and Order Criminal 10. Law and Order 10. No, not even Criminal 10.

Just Law and Order with Jerry Orr back. Old school. And the good looking dude. Benjamin Brat. Benjamin Brat. That's it. That's it. He's got like eight seasons.

That's it. Just kidding. And they play those. Come on. I watch them on the fucking plane the other day. Oh yeah. You can put direct TV on at 6-1 and blast. Bam.

I watch them. USA Network. Hello. USA and TNT. TNT. Yeah. I love all that stuff though. That's the first thing I do in my hotel room on the road.

Me too. I turn my TV on. I go directly to USA or TNT. And here's the thing. We're in comedy, right? So people assume that we love to watch all the comedy things. If I go on to USA and it's a marathon of modern family instead of a marathon of Laundromat or SVU, I get so sad because I want to watch the crime show where somebody gets raped and

then they find out who it was. Like that's what I want to watch after making a bunch of people laugh. See, I can't watch the rape shit. It affects me differently. I like the regular murders and drug dealers. Like I live for Fridays because when I come back from radio, I get room service and I watch Gangland like a motherfucker. You don't take an after-press nap?

Yeah, sometimes. Yeah, I watch a couple of Ganglands and I take a little nap from like 12 to 1, 12 to 2 because Gangland comes on here at 10. So by that time, I'm doing shit with my daughter if I'm home on Fridays. But when you're on the road, it starts at like 7. Yeah. So you got a good cup of coffee. You get to watch the Hell's Angels or some two black guys from Atlanta who jump up and

down and mug people. And then you watch, you get back and they're watching Hell's Angels. The M13, you get to learn about the whole thing at Gangland. That's so weird. I don't bring that. How about the first 48? I like that too. That's a very good show.

That's my jam too. That's my jam too. A&E Network, that's the first 48. A lot of people don't know that A&E used to have law and order at lunchtime. A&E, 15 years ago, that's where law and order first went, A&E. Wow. So in the daytime as a comic, I would do my shit in the morning and then shoot home by 12, me and my wife, girlfriend at the time, would watch two or three law and orders, eat

lunch, then at three I'd go do whatever I had to do again with a little dose of law and order. Tell you what else I watch on the road. Believe it or not. Sex in the city. Really? I'm a sex in the city guy. Always have been.

I don't give a fuck what anybody says. Who do you watch? That's a great show. I like the dirty whore, the old woman. The writer gets on my nerves. I have a crush on the brunette, but she can't talk too much. She's your patty, or who is your girl from high school? The pretty girl from high school?

The girl you went in on. The one you wouldn't let anybody touch? You guys would look at her? Oh, Patty Emerson. Patty? Patty now. Is she your patty? The brunette?

The brunette is too clean, like she's always complaining about sex and shit. The redhead's really cute. The redhead's been around for 20 years as an actress. A lot of people don't know that, but I like, I don't like none of the writers, boyfriends. They're all fucking fruits. The chick. What season are you on? I'll tell you who I like, Barishnacroft, when she dated the old dancer, that was pretty

good. He was a hottie. Mr. Big is a hottie. I like Mr. Big. Mr. Big. Well, he's also law and order. Yeah, he's also law. I liked the redhead when she dated the dude with the glasses.

He was a very nice dude. That cancer in his nut. Yeah. He was very nice. I like him. I like that. You know? I've even been watching Sex and the City.

That's amazing. Since fucking day one, I will watch Sex and the City is such a fucking great show. And they tried to do it with guys and they couldn't do it. They did? Yeah. They tried to do it with Bobby Slaton and the other guy from the comedy store and an English fucking guy and they couldn't fucking do it. Sex and the City was one of the most brilliant fucking shows for women.

It really was. It set up, you know, you want to know what fucking women are thinking. They're all a bunch of dirty animals in the shit, but not really. They had, they had backstories. Oh yeah. They really had a back story when the old whore fell in love with the dude from The Warriors. He was fucking the best because she challenged that motherfucker.

She pushed his envelopes. The guy from The Warriors is the good looking Spanish dude who now he was also in, I don't know his name, man. I fucking feel it. I love that you watch Sex and the City. My husband just started getting into it. I came home one day and he had on Sex and the City and it was like the pilot episode and he was like, you know what, babe?

I decided I'm going to get into Sex and the City. It was a really good show. It was really acclaimed and I never saw it. So I'm going to get into it and he's just sitting there watching episode after episode of Sex and the City randomly. That's so funny that you brought that up. I was so embarrassed about it. When I'm on the road, when I'm on the road, I'll catch three or four of them back to

back. I don't like the first season. I don't like the dude. She dates. That's like the fucking jazz guy that plays the bass. That motherfucker gets on my nerves. She dates a lot of dudes. I hate it.

The whore dates some dudes. She dates fucking crazy dudes. The redhead dates some cute dudes. And the brunette had a fucking hot boyfriend, the Irish dude. The brunette married him, but he wouldn't make love to her all the time. That's a good looking motherfucker right there, that Irish white dude. That dude's a badass dude. I'm just going to go back and I can see you.

Yeah. She just got on his nerves. She talks too much and the chick talks too much, a little too much, the writer and she's too obsessed with shoes. I don't like none of that shoes. Get sneakers, you fuck. It's New York City. Yeah.

Exactly. In New York, I tried to wear heels and cute shoes. I'm like, what? That's lies. At Chicago Airport, I was this close to going up to some fucking dumb chick with heels. When you're connecting in Chicago, that's a big fucking mistake. Okay? Yeah.

You're making a big fucking mistake. I'm trying to help you out here. Just wear sneakers and wear hot pants. You get the same fucking mileage out of the United States. You're going to walk around with fucking heels and try to impress Lena like your Chloe Kardashian with fucking heels on at Chicago Airport. I'm just trying to help you out. Take those monsters off.

You don't get the aggravation in your life. You see them and you see them at big airports. I try to help women. I try to pull them aside and listen to yourself a favor. All right. Carry some flabbings. Yeah. Fucking put sneakers on.

Do something. You're fucking killing me here. You walk around with like some sandals in your bag just to give out. Yeah. Sneakers. I always, it blows my mind when I see girls at the airport wearing a dress or a skirt because I'm like, do you know how freezing it is on the airport? Are you crazy?

I get it. You may have a meeting as soon as you get off the plane, but you know, carry it. Yeah. We're going to train in New York City. It's women who are impeccably dressed with fucking track shoes on and they got a bad motherfucking pair of fucking Goche fucking cabanas in their fucking bag, ready to put on as soon as they walk in the fucking building. Or I've seen women in New York with motherfucking house shoes on.

I've seen a woman dialed up to the 10s with house shoes on the train. Fuck it. What are you getting? Yeah. You're walking upstairs and shit. I'm making stuff happen. Yeah. Do you?

Yeah. You're a woman dog. We work with you. I'm working with you. Put the converse on. I'm all right. Once we get down, once you get the bikini on, then you bust those motherfucking heels off. Tell them Lisa.

A lot of people do that. They like they, my mom. Yeah. Women do it all the time. Women do it all the time. So when I'm in an airport or like a big airport like Dallas, Chicago, when I see some woman dialed up. Listen, I appreciate it.

I'm a man's man. I appreciate you got dialed up, but it's no need to. I'm with you on this. You don't need this shit. And you see them. Thank you. But yeah, you, you see them making a mistake. Does your, does your wife ever do that or not really?

She doesn't seem like she wears heels. No, no. It's your way. Heals to church and stuff like that. But besides that, no, she knows she hears all my stories from airports. I'm going to help you. I'm that. Hey, listen, nobody likes a pair of woman's heels more than me or a nice boot or something.

There's a time and place for everything. Yep. You like agreed. You like shoes. Like you like looking at women's feet and like nice shoes. Yeah. Who doesn't? I never really thought about that one.

What do you, what do you find attractive about a woman? About a woman besides? I don't think she's a 10, but I'll tell you where's some fucking badass shoes. Chelsea Handler. Really? Chelsea Handler knows how to wear a shoe on. It screams dirty animal. And that's what a man wants to see on your feet is dirty animal.

Hilarious. Well, he does. Well, I was rocking my Nike Cortez is this past weekend in the airport. So I was the smart girl. I prefer to be the smart girl traveling, not the hot girl. So how long have you been doing comedy now? Um, nine years and the sketches got you into stand up. Are you already going to stand up when you had the sketches?

What happened? What happened was I moved to LA to be an actress. And while I was out here hustling, trying to make it happen and nothing was really happened. I didn't like a couple commercials. Um, so it's not nothing. It's, I did a couple of commercials and I did like one co-star role where I said three things on a sitcom. Um, but other than that, it was pretty hard to catch a break.

I was randomly at, uh, this church that's very in entertainment based, right? So there's a lot of producers, actors, dancers, a lot of creators at this church. And there was a stand up comedian who was teaching a class there. And, uh, she asked me if I wanted to take her class cause I was in the Tuesday night improv class. Right. So we would just do improv games and whatever. And she was like, Hey, do you want to take my stand up class? And I was like, well, is it free?

And she's like, yeah, I guess so. Right. I had never thought of being a stand up comedian. And so I took this class and I thought to myself, this nail salon character I've been doing since I was a kid because I grew up in San Jose where there's a lot of Vietnamese people. I had a lot of Vietnamese friends growing up. So it was like, I know I do this accent and I always tell the story to my friends about

getting my nails done and everybody laughs every time I tell the story. So I'll try that as a joke. And I remember I brought it up to her. I was like, Hey, I do this nail salon thing. And she was like, no, nail salon jokes are so hacky. Everybody has one. Just, I would just avoid that. And I was like, you know what, but I, I don't know if people do it the way I do it.

So I'm going to try it anyways. And so I did this nail salon bit amongst a couple other jokes just about me and my name and how I sound like my last name is super white, but I'm Mexican and all this kind of stuff. And our, our graduation from the class was we had to perform at the Queen Mary when they had their comedy club there. Right. So it was a bringer night.

Everybody brought their friends and family out. So it was going to be a warm room because everybody knew this is a graduating class of beginners. And she had everybody write material for like two months and she picked everybody's five minutes set. She kind of helped everybody. Okay, this is your strongest stuff. Do that.

And for my set, she was like, you know what, just do all your jokes. And so I did 12 minutes. My first time of just everything that I was writing in her class. And I closed with that nail salon bit on my first real show. And that nail salon bit is what ended up blowing up on YouTube and blowing up my spot. And so from that, I started getting people reaching out to me on my space. This is when my space was hot. And because nobody really knew how to get ahold of me.

So people were leaving me messages and they wanted me to perform all over the place. Like I was getting messages from Australia to the Philippines to all over the States, Atlanta, Ohio. Hey, when are you coming here? When are you coming to perform? I only had like 12 minutes of material because I just took this class for fun. Like I wasn't trying to be a comedian. It was free on Tuesday night.

You know, I was just out here hustling, you know? So I was like, I remember in the beginning, I would fight it and I would go to like open mics and, you know, whatever random nights at the improv or wherever. And I would feel so insecure because I was like, I wasn't a comic. I wasn't trying to be a comic. And so like I would go into these places and feel like people were like judging me and upset with me because my YouTube video had blown up and stuff like that, which I'm sure there was a lot of people who were.

But it was just like, hey, everybody, I don't know what I'm doing. And so it was like my defense to be like, no, I'm not a comic. I'm an actress. I'm just doing this for fun. Like I thought I was making it better by saying, no, I'm not a comic. I'm not a comic. But then it wasn't until on my space, somebody hit me up and was asking me if I wanted to perform for this big Mormon event in like San Diego or Long Beach or somewhere.

And they were like, yeah, we're going to get a few different comics and we'll do a competition. And the winner is going to get, you know, a prize money. So I was like, yeah, I guess I'll do it. Right. And there was a few different comics there. And I performed and I ended up tying for first place in their contest that they did. And there was just like hundreds of Mormon kids. And me and I forget, I think it was a guy named DeWon Owens who, my friend DeWon, I think

it was him who we tied the contest. And I won $600. And that was the most money I had ever made in my life doing one thing, you know what I mean? And one night I just made $600 and it blew my mind. So I was like, oh, maybe I should be a comedian. Maybe I should try to do this for real then. And so this video blew up and ended up getting an agent and people wanted to book me out

clubs, but I didn't have enough material. So they would, like for instance, the improv in San Jose put me up and it was like a Wednesday night that I was headlining the show and it was sold out, but they had to put up eight comedians ahead of me because I didn't have enough material to actually headline a show. So these eight comedians go up and I close out the show with my material and that's how I started. And I remember that night sold out the improv. You've been to San Jose improv.

It's like 450 people there and completely sold out. And I remember I got a whopping $500 for that show, but I didn't know any better. It was like, yep, 500 bucks. Woo. You know, but it still didn't register to me. It was like, I feel like I should probably get a little bit more because it is sold out and they did charge people tickets, you know, but it was like, I didn't know what I was doing.

It was so brand new to me and I just started writing more material after that. And so by the end of that year, 2007 was the year that changed my life. I went from that YouTube video coming out in like January, February, and there was like 4 million views on this one video just in that month. And then to March where I ended up booking an agent and a manager. And by May, I was on mad TV. I had booked mad TV and then I wrote more material over the summer. And by the end of the year, I was touring across the country with my standup and I had

got to about 40, 45 minutes of material. So it was enough for me to finish out a show. But if some, if a joke didn't work, I didn't have anything else to go to because all I had was this, these are, this is every single joke that I know right now. I'm about to do it. I remember they were saying, some club owner, I like to say it was a guy from Brea, but I'm not sure. And he was telling me that they put somebody behind you one day and it was the most embarrassing

thing because when you got off, half the room got up and fucking walked out. Like they were there to see you and they put you as a feature somewhere. And then they had a headline and after you, like there was no interest. Like that's it. We came to see Angela Johnson, period. It must have been, but fuck it. It's exciting. That's what you did.

You made a bang. That's what it's all about. It was hard. It was hard for me because this was a new world for me and it's a guy's world. You know what I mean? Like it's, I'm working with a bunch of guys, you know, and I don't know exactly which situation that was, but I remember that happening a couple of times. And so I've really only featured, like done actual feature weekends three times in my

entire life. And that started happening. What you just said, that kind of situation to the point where I was starting to offend people. And so they were like, yeah, so they were like, we need to start giving her her own weekends. And so they started headlining me because I could sell tickets. Even though I didn't have a lot of material. So that's how it started happening because I was offending people not knowing I was doing

that. Cause I, like I said, I was so new. I was like, okay. Yeah. Oh, go do radio in the morning. Okay. Sure. You're going to pick me up and take me to radio station.

That's my first time doing radio interviews. I didn't know that I'm stepping on the headliners toes because that's the headliners job, not my job. I was just doing what the comedy club told me to because in my world, the comedy club was my boss. They hired me. So they're like, go do this. Okay.

What I do when I get there, just be funny. Okay. You know, it's crazy that you were surprised that I watched sex in the city. I'm sitting here looking at you going, why would you be surprised? I love all that stuff. I rather hang out with women than hang out with guys. You know, when I was a kid, my mom was really hot and she had a hot girlfriend. So they would get dressed in front of me when I was five and six.

And I got so good at picking clothes with them that they would just come over and go let him. I'm really good with that stuff. I rather, I could listen. I could get a woman laid. I could find the woman a man. I could find the woman. If they listened to me.

You're the best wing woman ever. You think I'm kidding. I could get any woman laid. If you tell me what dilemmas you have, I'll walk you into a bar or whatever, a library and go play it this way and I will find you a fucking man in five fucking days guaranteed or your money back. I love it. I am that good.

I am that good. When I was a kid, women would come over to my mom. She would go out with a girlfriend. My mom had a bar. I'd be crying. I'd be crying. No, take me with you. And they'd be coming out with bras on and panties in the 60s and going fresh from Cuba.

Going, what do you think? And I would go that one and they would go, I told you he liked it and they would listen to what the fuck I had to say. I've always, if it's between a football game or sitting with five women and looking at women's shoes, I go hang out and look at women's shoes. I can't stand football with guys. I can't stand doing anything with guys. I can't stand being with more than three or four men because my mom always had women

around. My mom always thought I was going to grow up to be gay. And my mom would always, always beat me up, like not beat me up, but mentally say to me, when you get older, you got to make sure you like titties and shit. You got to make sure you eat pussy because that's how scared she was. I was always surrounded by women. They played cards at my house. They, you know, they brought their chihuahuas to the fucking house.

So that's why I'm such a, I love women. I rather, I could look at a woman. It's hysterical. I could, I could teach a woman everything. If a woman tells me, I'm having a hard time with a man. Come on. Let's do this. Do you do your own column?

Your own advice column? No, no, because every woman's different. Every woman is different. I'm way better than the math.com guy. I can look at a guy and look at a girl and put your right fucking together. Hey, listen, if you ever want to learn... Well, hey, uh, if you want to practice, Jackie... If you don't want to learn Jiu-Jitsu, you know your biggest fan is Eddie Bravo.

Eddie Bravo was one of the baddest Jiu-Jitsu guys in the country. Eddie Bravo's will really, really turn me on to you 10 years ago. Really? Yeah, from Fatima Kwee-Kwee. I mean, he fucking used to torment me in hotel rooms because he's Joe Rogan's best friend. And he does Jiu-Jitsu? Yeah, he's Joe Rogan's best friend. I would love to.

So I started taking Krav Maga fighting classes. And it was... She's with the Jews. That's what I said. I said, look, if I'm going to learn how to fight, it's going to be from a country who's always fighting somebody. Like, that's who I want to teach me how to fight. Not a bad idea. That's what I'm trying to do.

So I started taking Krav Maga fighting classes. And I loved it, but the place where I was taking it is all the way downtown. And I live all the way down near Encino, you know what I mean? So it's like an hour to get there, an hour back. It's at seven in the morning or 12 noon. And it's just so far. But I loved it. I got Krav Maga in the valley.

I know, but I like my guys. They're really good. Yeah, Eddie Brock was your biggest. Way before mad TV. Way before... Can you introduce us? Yeah, he was... He just did the podcast last Sunday and I told him the other day that Angela's coming on.

He trains in that? He teaches. He's a 10th planet jiu-jitsu, but they're downtown. He's opening up a new building. He's Mexican. Yeah, it's far. He's downtown. He's your biggest fan, bro, since he used to torment me.

Maybe he'll come to my house and... He would torment me and Joe Rogan. Really? Have you seen Angela Johnson? No way. Angela Johnson is. So it's really funny. That's nice to hear your peers that like you and appreciate you.

You know what I mean? Because I never know what my peers think about me. And it's a fine line. It's a fine line. Because as comedians, we do what we do for the fans. For the people who are actually buying tickets and supporting your career. That's who you do it for, for yourself and for them. Because your peers aren't the ones who are paying to see your show and help keep you alive.

You know what I mean? But there's some sort of validation that comes from a mutual respect. Where you feel validated when somebody who does what you do appreciates what you do as well. And so I feel like things happened so fast for me in the beginning with my stand-up career. And even with going on to develop a really strong fan base that I have some really loyal fans that love me and come out to my shows every time I come to their city, you know? And because of that, I know I ruffled some feathers and whatever it was.

But also because I don't, on my off days, hang out at the club here. I don't hang out at the improv or the laugh factory or the comedy store. It's like I go on the road and then I come home. And then on my two days off, I'll go visit my godkids and their mom who's a second grade teacher. You know, like they're not in the comedy world. They're not in the business. But I go and I hang out with them and I have dinner with them.

Then I'll go do game night with my other friends who, you know, they're not in the industry either. And I get back to reality in life. No, you need balance with this. And then I go back on the road. You need fucking balance or you'll kill yourself. Yeah. So when I'm on the road and I'm doing my show, I don't get to meet all the other comics

who are out there. I don't get to hang out and have FaceTime and know who they are and stuff. And so anything that I heard of or know is just word of mouth that gets back to me somehow. And so it's like, I never know what, who likes me and who doesn't. So I try to just put my blinders on and stay focused on my path. And then when I hear that somebody is a fan or does appreciate what I do, it always, you know, makes me feel good. Like, oh, that's dope.

You know what I mean? It's always really like, it's cool to hear that. And so thank you. Thank you. If I go on the road, I go to the store on Tuesday nights just to tune up because I don't want to get on stage on a Thursday with a five day layoff or a four day layoff. I have ideas on Monday. I want to put on paper on Tuesdays.

If I'm on the road, if I'm home all week with my family, I only go out three nights because I have a two and a half year old girl. You follow me. So I got to be home. I got the podcast two days a week. And that's the thing. When I first got here, Lee and I had to talk on the podcast Wednesday about dedication to your career.

When you first get here, you have to dive into this. The mistake I made was not having balance. Everything in my life then was comedy and partying. And then I got rid of partying and it was all comedy. Like the first four years I was with this woman that I've been with for 15 years, I didn't see her Christmas. That didn't mean nothing to me. Comedy was what I did.

But now I have a different balance and I try to, you know, it's amazing how many directions you could get pulled in a week if you let it. And unless you put your foot down and go, these are my priorities. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday at five o'clock, unless you're giving me an envelope, I could care less what you're thinking. I picked my daughter up at school. I like to walk around. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, I like to walk around.

I like doing it. Unless there's something better than that, which there isn't. I don't think that's better than walking my daughter's $20,000. That's what will take you to not walk my daughter to school. You know, there's little things that that's balanced. That's where you get your material from. That's where you get your strength doing those other things. You know, and I know even musicians when you watch behind the music, you know, yeah, guns

and roses had their heyday, but they all had kids now. And now you see them in Encino at the mall. Every time I see the guy from the Foo Fighters, he's at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, walking around with his daughter, telling TMZ to get the fuck away from him. It's hilarious. But I know he makes time for his daughter. You know, when you first get here, your career is everything. You see these women that get married in Hollywood and you look at these big weddings with fucking

pigeons and white people and black people, everybody's dressed in white. And in your back of your mind, you don't want to be a cynic or whatever that word is. But you're like, this is going to last six fucking months. Eventually he fucks the baby. What's the black guy that married the Mexican chick Baso? Remember years ago with the pigeons? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Tony Parker and. Yeah. He fucked the ugly fat maid and shit that the fucking one that Arnold fucked at the end of the black, you know, but what was all the pigeons and everybody from the view and Cherry Shepard. Yeah. Sherry Shepard got married. Another one with pigeons.

No, not Sherry. She got married doing and they're fighting for the fucking baby in the womb. I'm not talking about star Jones. Oh, star Jones too. She got married in the vote. Well, everybody who has pigeons at their fucking wedding gets fucking divorced. First of all, I think it's dubs. And everybody who gets married pigeons, dubs, white suits, all that shit is the quick answer

for fucking divorce because then you have a career and nobody's going to take away from that career. We're selfish in a way. It takes a big person to go, you know what? Fuck Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm staying at home with my wife. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck what you say.

Nothing you present to me is going to be better every week. My booking agent at last week, he sent me some Nashville. Why should it coming on Tuesday and Wednesday? That's fucking great. That's great. Guess what? I don't do nothing on Tuesdays on Wednesdays, Thursday and Friday. And you know this.

So next time you ask me, I'm just going to hang up on you because you can't be that stupid. We've been together for four years. You can't be that stupid. I can tell us what goes on because then you put your career before your family, which, you only get hot one time. If you talk to Gabriel, Gabriel will tell you this is only going to happen once. In three years, I might be in the house. I might be stuck in jail.

You never know. It's funny you said about other comics. I was on a plane the other day and you talked to some people that sit next to you. And I was talking to this guy and the guy asked me, I was going to ask you a personal question. He goes, what do you think Amy Schumer? And I go, she's the hot girl right now. You know, she's the big girl in the neighborhood, whatever he goes.

I don't really find her. He goes, I find her entertaining, but not enough for what's going on here. What's your opinion on that? What's your opinion on this? What is a comic feel like right now? I'm thinking about who's the girl that wrote to broke girls Whitney Whitney. Like Whitney was hot last year at this time. Now it's Amy Schumer.

What does Whitney feel like it's more competitive? I realized 12 years ago for me to have a career. I couldn't worry about what Angela Johnson does. I wish Angela Johnson good. She makes me fucking laugh when I see it, but I'm not worried about Angela Johnson. You know, that's, you know, when you first get here, you get a call.

Oh, Angela Johnson got a $3 million deal. Fuck off. You know, people get mad. I never wanted to be that guy. I knew that if Angela got a deal, I was close. I never wanted to be that guy. I never wanted to be that guy. I knew that if Angela got a deal, I was close.

I'm friends with Angela. I'm fucking close. I'm close. That means I'm coming up next to two more or something. That's how I always looked at things. Both of you in a way kind of blew up from the internet. Like you blew up from podcasting and all that and from your YouTube videos. And like I was, I heard about you from Matt TV.

Like, so what that first YouTube video in, like you were talking about earlier, how some comics might look down upon you and you, you've talked about it, how some comics used to talk shit. So did that, did that help you not care or not have to worry about what other comics are doing? Listen, they talk shit about Justin Bieber. Yeah.

You know, obviously Angela Johnson did something correctly because 10 years later, she's sitting at this fucking table. Mm hmm. Right? Obviously she covered the spread, which is the most important thing. I tell you who pissed me off years ago because I always knew he was a fucking Fugazi.

And I'll say this on the thing, the fucking save Pedro. Oh. That always pissed me off. Who? You know. Napoleon Dynamite. Napoleon Dynamite.

I could tell you one thing, that this kind of career is based on one thing. You could either pay me now or pay me later. Angela said something very important that when all this stuff happened, she had to catch up. She had to sit and write. Mm hmm.

She had to sit and write. And she took some lumps along the way. Angela fucking tell you, she took some lumps along the way. And she had to sit and write to catch up, you know, to catch up. But she caught up. That's why she's sitting here.

There's people that have gotten breaks from internet or something like that, that I've looked at and go, that's a funny thing. But he's not going to be able to do that next week. Yeah. Okay. And that's what happens a lot

with mad TV. You get these kids with a camera in college. They could do it once or two times. They're at Improv Olympic. Everybody's jumping up and down. They're fucking giggling. They all got trust funds. They all got visa cards in their pocket.

You know, do this shit weekend and week out bitch. That's what we come in. You know, and that's why I used to go to auditions and freeze up at auditions. Angela Johnson. Once I got to an audition, I'd see somebody from Ocean's 11 and that frees up.

And then in the back of my mind, I'd say, wait a second. A, they never followed Paul Mooney. And B, they never did comedy at halftime of a Buffalo save a game. Yeah. When people are booing at you and throwing shit at you.

After that, I was saved. Yeah. It was like John the Baptist threw me in the water and threw water at me. After that Buffalo thing, I don't take shit from nobody because I survived that. Yeah. And after that, I would go in the rooms

and they call me and go, Joe, you booked the room. I go, because I thought that way. I go, you can't take it. You can't take the work away from somebody. There's so many. It's really, it comes down to perspective. And which is basically what you're saying.

Like you can go in the room and you see the person from Ocean's 11 or, you know, I go into a room and I see a big name actress, you know, homegirl who was on a, I forget the name. She was on some sitcom, right? And their show just ended.

It didn't get canceled. It just ran its course. And now she was out on the circuit getting her next gig and here me and her are sitting in the waiting room to go in for this role. So immediately my first thought is I get insecure. Like, oh, great. This chick, you know,

she just came off of seven seasons, you know, killing it. The casting director comes out. Oh, how are you? Oh my God. I saw Johnny the other day. Oh, did he make his gumbo? Oh my God, I love his gumbo.

And all of a sudden you're like, fuck, I ain't getting this room. Exactly. God damn it. Exactly. And you get all insecure and then they're like, oh my God, okay, we'll talk later.

Okay, Angela, you ready? Well, yeah, I guess just go through the court. You might as well just audition me to hurry up and get to her, you know what I mean? So those are my first thoughts initially. But then if you stop and think about it and you go, wait a minute, I worked hard to get to a place where here I am

auditioning sitting right next to this chick who just caught off a show of seven seasons that was pretty successful. And here we are. Now we're both level. We're on the same field. We're on the same motherfucking field. You know what I'm saying?

It's the first of the month. That's what I was saying. Ding, ding, round one. Let's go. Who's going to get it? We're all the same in this motherfucking. That's right. That's right.

It's been a great show. That lasted seven, seven years. But when you auditioned, I wasn't auditioned. I wasn't in the room, but now here we are. We both are. So now you have a different kind of competition, whatever. Even though your auditions, it's, I have to look at it at the competition between me and me only

if I can do my best because they never know what they're looking for, what they want. Because honestly, the girl who's sitting next to me, she was blonde hair, white lady. Like they're just seeing comedic actresses. They just wanted the funny. So I was like, at this point, I know my funny. I know my comedic timing.

I know how to work a room. So it's, you get in there, you do the best you can do, and you don't worry about what she's going to do, what the next girl's going to do, because you're doing your own interpretation of what you read on the paper. And then what else you can season it with yourself. You know what I mean?

And I go in there and I'm like, well, let me just do me and, and rock it out. And then you get it, you get it. But it comes down to, you know, your perspective. You can be insecure and be like, oh man, or you could be like, yeah, I'm auditioning with this chick. I always call it my balls checklist. You know, that's what it basically is.

You know, we have this thing that it's just a doubt. You know, everybody has a doubt at one time. You have a doubt. And all of a sudden you, you know, shit, I got an audition one time. And I, for some reason I'm like, are you available Monday? I don't know. They had the near on bed and Stallone and all of a sudden

I go, I looked and the director of me had gotten into a beef. I go, fuck. And I said, you know what? I can work cancel this audition. I know my balls checklist. I go, no, I had a beef with him. Guess what I have to do after going there and do so well that the beef gets erased.

Yep. Yeah. It doesn't matter. Joey fucked it up. That's the only way. And I went in there. I went out. I apologized.

I told the cast director. I go, listen, do me a favor. He's a Puerto Rican guy. I go apologize to Pete for me. Tell him I was fucked up last time and I was doing it. He goes, he called you in. Wow. So in fact, he said for you to come back verbatim and you got it.

I went back verbatim and he gave it to me. Here I was in my office at my house thinking I'm not going to go and I'm going to cancel this. Yeah. You have to have a balls checklist. That's good. You think about what you've done and the work that you've done to get to this place.

Yeah. What do you mean? He's here to take this role. Yeah. First off, I drove to Santa Monica. I'm fucking pissed already. Yeah. Number two, I drove at two.

That means I missed the special at Benihana. I'm Fifth Street and Benihana down there. Whenever I get an audition for Fifth Street, I'm fucking excited because I catch the Benihana buffet. But at two o'clock, I catch Dr. Thomas Bartley. I can't fucking go there. So that's all the things that add to the anger of going into the audition. It's all these little things that go on.

It's the same thing when I go on stage, man. Every time I'm going to go on stage, I get there, I fly in, the luggage, the whole thing, the whole town room, the room service. You get to the thing. And two minutes before you have all this doubt. They're not going to like me. There's too many old people in the audience. Oh, yeah.

You know this, that. And then you go, you know what? I'm just going to look at the lights and unload on these fuckers. And everybody's laughing. Everybody's jumping up and down. You're like, what was all that negative for? Exactly. Your own head, your own perspective is what you project on to people.

And really, you just know you're good at what you do. Look at you. You weigh what? 89 pounds of the rock in your pocket. You go up there and fuck these motherfuckers up. You just turn into a leopard. You go from being a nice, sweet girl from San Jose. He was a cheerleader, rock, rock, whatever.

And to becoming this confident, you know, that you're bulletproof. I watched you on stage. I watched one of your specials, the one on Nuevo. And I'm like, this little fucking girl is bulletproof. She's up there dropping on knowledge like you don't give a fuck. Thank you. And for somebody at home, you know, they, they see a woman and they have all this negative connotation about women comics at home.

I'm watching you on Nuevo going with the balls on this fucking girl. Look at the smile up there, you know, having a good time. You know, I love all that shit. That's where my thing comes in. I watch stand up to laugh. When I leave the house at eight o'clock, I always see who's going to be on Letterman, who's going to be on the other guy just to see if it's one of my friends. So I could come home and laugh.

And I get home and I get disappointed when you don't make me laugh. I get fucking pissed off. You motherfucker, you opened up with that joke. I hate that fucking joke. God damn it. I'm going to bed, you fuck. I cheer for comics. That's why I get pissed off.

I'm not here at home cheering against the comic. I'm cheering for that motherfucker. Like, I'll see somebody go, yeah, come here and do it. And I'll see him and then I'll pull him over and go, dog. You did that joke at the story and it was brilliant. Why did you do it on Atlanta? Oh, they told me I couldn't do the joke. God damn it.

You know, why? Why? It's a great joke. It's clean, you know? And to answer your question, too, when you were asking me what I thought about the Amy Schumer's and the comics and stuff, is exactly what you just said that I root for them and I cheer for them. And especially not just because, like you said, I root for the comic and I want the comedians to win, but especially me being a female and seeing other females being empowered and given the opportunity.

Not saying given where they're at because they worked very hard to get there, but given the opportunity to show them how good they are at what they're doing. And just like you said, seeing them do it makes me think I'm not too far away then. She's paving away. She's doing it. She's opening the door for people like me to come in. And same thing. Somebody might be looking at me.

I'm paving the way and opening a door for another female comedian to go and do theaters across the country, whatever it is. So I look at the Amy Schumer's and the Whitney Cummings and I think they're inspiring to me. But at the same time, as artists, you have to admire to a point where you're cheering them on. And then the second you start feeling envy or not happy with where you're at because of where somebody else is, that's when I have to put my blinders on and not pay attention to what they're doing so that I can refocus on what I'm doing. So I will cheer them on and be so happy for them until I start feeling in my heart a little bit of like questioning my own journey and like, oh man, how come I'm not doing this up right there? That's when I got to put those blinders on and be like, you know what?

Let me not scroll through Instagram anymore because I'm starting to get insecure about where I'm at because I'm right where I'm supposed to be. So only focus on where I'm at and continue growing and regaining that confidence and growing where you're planted like I was saying earlier. And then back to cheering on my friends again. People who I admire and I think are funny and I'm happy for them that they've gotten to this point, you know what I mean? So that's kind of where I'm at. Do you ever think that when you put your blinders on that you might be doing it so much like you put your head down on work and you don't realize where you've gotten? So like if there's young people listening to this who are young actors, young comedians, do they walk into that audition room where you were like, oh, the casting director wants that well-known person,

you're that well-known person to a lot of people now. And you do feel like you might not realize it because I do it sometimes. I put my head down and you work for a few months and then you get up. You're like, oh, wait, all this has happened or this has changed. And it's hard sometimes to see where you're so far. Well, there's two blinders. There's two blinders. There's the blinders that you put on not to see what the fuck's really going on.

And there's the blinders you put on that in other words, it means rolling up your sleeves. That's what putting blinders on mean in my world. It's time to roll up your sleeves. What Amy Schumer is doing. Don't worry about what Lee's doing. Don't worry about Angela Johnson is doing a Felipe. You got a job to do. Yep.

That's it. He got a deal. God bless him. He got a deal. What did he do to get that deal? That's what you got to do. Not watch TM fucking Z and wait to get pictured by TMZ because everybody thinks they put the wrong work in. You got to do what these 10 successful people are doing.

Right. And that's the blinders. That's another word for going. I got to roll up my sleeves and not worry about what people are doing. Yeah. And even to touch on that, what you're saying, doing what they're doing, meaning the work hard ethic because my gift is not Amy Schumer's gift. Whitney's gift is not my gift.

Felipe's gift is not your gift. Everybody has their own strength and gift. But what we have in common is our work ethic to work hard and be focused on what we do best and excel at that. I always tell people do you and do you well. You know what I mean? So whatever your strength is, work it and be a good person while you're doing it. But that's what it is when it's, you know, do what they're doing is work hard, but work

hard at what you're good at. You writing this shit down, Lee? I don't see you fucking taking notes, cop sucker. He got the record on though. I was looking at you that time on Webber when you had that special before this one. I haven't watched this one. You know, I was watching you and I was thinking about Jody Foster in Silence of the Lambs. There's one part with Jody Foster in Silence of the Lambs when she walks into a room filled

with men. There's not another woman in the room. She's just filled with men and they look at her and they all turn away. And the guy comes in from the FBI and she's got to clear them up. You ever see that movie? You ever see? You remember that scene? A long time ago, but I'm when they take the chick out and they got to put shit under

the nasal spray because the girl smells really bad. She's got to chase all those guys out of there. And she's like, come on, guys. The family didn't want this. Come on. You guys got to get out of here. And they were going out one by one. I'll never forget what it felt like for her.

Like if a woman had to do that in real life, I'd get 20 guys out of her room. That's a lot of people. Like when people make this statement that female comics aren't funny. I want to punch them in the fucking mouth. It does something to me. You know, for starters. Let me tell you how stupid you are, motherfucker. Turn on channel five.

Turn on KTLA at two o'clock. I love Lucy's on. It's not I love Louis. It's I love Lucy, bitch. It's 50 years before Louis C.K. was even it itching his daddy's pants. Lucille Ball was making fucking people laugh. Her and a Cuban dude who had to say, hey, a fucking Cuban dude. For all you smart Scientologists, dumb fucks.

A Cuban dude had to go, hey, how come we're not shooting three cameras? Why are we shooting with one? And he became a genius. Desi Lu Productions became a genius for the three cameras shoot. Meanwhile, you got all these fucking Gentiles walking around Hollywood. You know, we're the smartest people in the world. Meanwhile, a fucking guy that couldn't even speak English that his parents sent here by himself had to go. Why are we only shooting with one camera?

Why don't we put three and shoot three instead of one? My God, that's a good idea. So for you, for a comic, a male comic to make the statement that a female comic isn't funny. Drives me crazy. Drives me crazy. And it has all the time. When I put a female comic on the podcast, I get repercussions three or four days later. No matter who I put on this, there's three or four guys that go, if I want to hear a female comic, I'd watch the fucking view.

That girl wasn't fucking funny. Who did you listen to her story? Did you listen to what she went through? Something that you couldn't fucking even imagine going through. Exactly. You wouldn't have the balls to walk into a room like that. I applaud women comics constantly. When I see a woman comic, there's some I don't like.

There's some that drive me fucking nuts. But for the more, I hate when they compare comedic actresses to stand-up comics. It drives me fucking crazy. That drives me crazy. She's funny when the director's in the room and they say cut and then they edit. That's fucking great. But to do what Angela Johnson does at the Bray Emperor on Saturday Night Late Show, well, that thing we did up in San Jose.

Yeah, that's a jungle. That's a fucking jungle. They're drinking eight dollar beers. It's like a rate of game light. Yep. It's like a rate of game light. Sure is. Why do you think female comics get, like one of the complaints I hear a lot is,

oh, she talks about a sex. Not all female comics, but that's something that I hear a lot. But a lot of male comics talk about sex. I don't know where the line is. A guy sleeps with ten women, he's a hero. A woman sleeps with ten guys, she's a whore. We've been going through this since day one. It's something that's etched in us deep down inside, just the way things are.

Do every female comic speaks about sex? No. Sometimes I worked with a gay guy this week that fucking killed me. A little Mexican gay guy that destroyed me. Talking about dating Asian guys and shit. That's my new favorite genre of comic. Gay guys that are out there. I don't want a gay guy that's not playing to be gay.

When I first moved to LA, the gay guys were gay, but they were playing straight. I don't like that shit. If you're gay, I want you to open the valve, bitch. Stop fucking around. I want to hear about your sexual encounters. I want to hear about what type of men you want. He was talking about Filipinos and shit. I was in the back.

I thought I had to get air given to me. I love all that stuff. And some of it was sexual, but he was clean. He was very clean. He was just doing the type of guys he liked. I like all that. Listen, I like to laugh. Me too.

Funny is funny. Funny is funny. I fired people for saying a fart joke at my club. Listen, look at the audience. They laugh, right? Who cares what you thought? You're too stuck on the Simpsons. There's people that are just stuck on a particular thing.

I think funny is funny. I watched that Darman and Greg. I laughed. What's the girl? Not Darman and Greg. The one afterward. Oh, Will and Grace. Will and Grace.

The two people aren't even funny. The two in the back. Sean and the girl are hysterical. I would watch that show and cheer for her. It should have been called Jack and Karen. I did children's hospital with her and I pulled her aside. I told her, you've made me fucking laugh, Jack. Yeah.

A lot. That crazy girl. She's not that crazy on children's hospital. But she was crazy on whatever. Will and Grace. Will and Grace. She's great. No, I don't like that non-woman statement.

Yeah. It's like a racist statement. It really is. It's like a racist statement to me. It comes down to there's a lot of times of just you can't please everybody type of thing because there's been the people who, like you said, all she talks about is sex. She's just trying to be shocking to hang with the guys type of thing. And then I've had people be upset with me because I'm not dirty and be like,

I don't like her comedy because I'm too clean or whatever it is. And I remember there was these two guys, they must have been teenagers or something because they were really stupid on my wall, on my Facebook wall, having a conversation with each other, but on my wall. So I could read everything they were saying and they were talking about how much they didn't like me. And one of the guys, his quote for why he didn't like me was like, yeah, she didn't even say one cuss word. She's not even funny.

And I was like, wait. So cuss means funny. I'm so confused right now. Like there wasn't even a valid reason for not like, she didn't say one cuss word. This is stupid. Wait, what? So it's like there's those are like, girls just try to be dirty. And then if you're not dirty, then it's like, she's not even, she's not a real comic.

I can't listen to 45 minutes of dirty. My head would blow up. I want to hear something else. I'm dirty, but I'm not dirty. I'm dirty in my language, but I'm not dirty. You know what I'm saying? I say fuck, but I'm not dirty. It's not like I'm doing a bunch of sex material.

I'm switching it up. I'm talking about my Jewish friendy and other things. It's interesting because Angel, you don't know, but I'm not a comic. Before this, I was a TV editor and I met Joey almost five years ago. And for the first couple years, we've been doing this podcast for almost like three years, something like that. Wow. It took me a while to get used to that kind of response. Like I don't have the thick skin that you guys have from years of auditions saying no or bad audiences.

And for me, one of the things that I do now, I don't do it as a tool, but when I notice, like I'll go to like Joe Rogan's Instagram or Dana White. He is huge and they're way bigger than I'll ever be, but they get more hate than I'll ever get. And it's just, it's, it's amazing. Like it used to bother me when I used to go back and forth. And now, now I just don't even respond to it. Yeah. It's, it was weird for me at first, but I've gotten used to it.

And yeah, you just can't even, like I love the, on your Facebook wall, they're having a conversation. Like what's the point of having it on your Facebook wall? The people who purposely at you, at sign you to make sure you read their tweet about how much they hate you. That blows my mind to me because I'm like, okay, you sure you didn't like my comedy, but the fact that you feel the need to make sure that I know that you think I'm A, B and C. Like that stuff always blows my mind. And so in the beginning it bothered me a lot and I would be lying if I said it still doesn't bother you because it does affect me.

And I always thought though, the people like these bigger celebrities who are, you know, in the spotlight, the amount of hate that they get, how, I always wonder how they deflect it and keep focused on, well, I'm still going to do me. And a good example of that is Kim Kardashian. So many people love her. So many people hate her just for being her, you know what I mean? So I, no matter what your opinion is on her, I always wondered how does she just keep on marching when people are so adamant about how much they hate her.

And so one day I was going through my Twitter and somebody was just tweeting me some really hateful things and I was like, man, people are just so mean and starting to affect me. And I went to Kim Kardashian's page, her Twitter page. And there's a part where you can see all her at, anybody who said at Kim Kardashian, blah, blah, blah, blah, and you can read all of those. So I clicked on that to see what people were saying to her. The first three tweets were at Kim Kardashian, I wish you would kill yourself. At Kim Kardashian, you're a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And I'm like, oh my God. First of all, the fact that you formed an opinion about somebody you've never met to the point where you want them to kill themselves, you're a terrible person, but to then go say it to them. So I'm wondering how does she read these tweets and still get up and keep going and do the next thing and do the next thing. And, you know, she has 48 million Instagram followers. 48 million. I have 212,000 and I get Instagram comments from people. They're just like, you're not even funny.

You're not even this and that. I don't even know what is that, a laugh track, you know, all this kind of stuff. I can't imagine at 48 million followers. She probably gets like one minute, like one or two angry, awful tweets a minute. It's a top skin that you really have to put in perspective and kind of feel sorry for a person. I'll tell you what, I love music. I fucking hate Cheap Trick. I don't know why.

I just don't like Cheap Trick growing up. Just didn't like Cheap Trick growing up. I like Led Zeppelin. I like Black Sabbath. Just didn't like Cheap Trick. Do you think at any time in my life I would have the time to go on Cheap Trick's wall and say I don't fucking like you. I would never do that to somebody. The other day I took a 5 a.m. flight.

I bumped into Eliza's messenger. I took a picture with it. Do you know I got on the plane, I looked at my tour and somebody goes, Ew, did Eliza age 10 years or did she just not have makeup on? I was gonna lay into him, but I go, you know what, that guy is probably single. There's his mother. She's the only person that could tolerate him. I'm just gonna say a prayer for him.

And not even fucking respond. Because if that's what you thought, keep it to yourself. But to write that, Eliza saw that. They put at Eliza. It's six in the morning. That's what you need to see at fucking six in the morning as a woman. So I get it. There's people that just wake up and want to rock.

They just want to ruin somebody else's fucking day. There's a lot of things I hate. I tell Lee all of them. Lee knows all this shit I hate. I fucking hate Subway. Do you think I go to their yell page? No, I just don't fucking go to Subway. That's it.

Just don't go to Subway. But I don't have the time to put my hate for Subway. It's not that I hate Subway. I just think it's killing Americans. Turkey. It's turkey salami. Give me fucking real salami. I'm going there.

You have to have $5 for a sandwich. But I just never understood that part of it. I get shit all the time. Oh my God. I get stuff that's crazy. And I just sometimes I respond depending on how I'm feeling. But I've learned over the years that you get nothing from responding. These people are in hell on their own.

Yeah, yeah. And for you to write that to somebody at seven in the morning, you have to be in your own private hell. Yeah. Something's going on with you there. You don't even you're looking you're going out. You're going to give somebody the finger of the light and that person's going to pull a gun out and shoot you.

Yeah. That's the day you're going to have. That's it. But that's the day you're creating for yourself. Yeah. When you see that on the news guy got shot at the light. We don't know what that fucking guy told someone. There's people who just have a gun while having a bad day.

I just left the house from my wife. We had an argument. I got a gun in the car. This guy cuts me off and gives me the finger. You don't know what other people are dealing or thinking. I just never understood the whole into that hate thing. I never did. I hear a lot.

It's good that they have an opinion. I've heard that people have that argument that if it's either they love you or they hate you, like if they don't care about you, then that's bad. Do you agree with that or is that? Well, it's also the most people are going to voice their opinions are the ones who didn't care about their experience. I had a friend tell me this a long time ago and she was talking about if you go out to a restaurant and you enjoyed yourself, you don't even go tell everybody about it.

But if you went and had a terrible experience, every conversation that next day you talk to be like, oh, we went to the such and such and it was terrible. Let me tell you about it because people want to vent. But if it was just like, yeah, it was good. You're not going to talk about it the next day. If I drive up to Bakersfield, wherever the fuck you're from, San Jose, and on the way up, I stopped and I eat two tacos and they're the best tacos in the world. When I see you because you're Mexican, I'm going to go, Angela, by the way, stopped by

that fucking Pedro guy who makes the best tacos in the fucking world. But you know what I'm saying? It's the people who like tacos. I'm going to let them know that it was tremendous. I went to this place and said that Sam and Sushi was off the fucking chain. She likes sushi, you know? But I don't think you need to. Yeah.

If you have an opinion, what is it that nothing, they say something? What is it? It's just indifference. Publicity. Publicity standpoint. If you kill somebody, it's the same. But no, I don't know. Every publicity is good publicity.

Yeah, publicity. I don't know. It must be frustrating just not even like responding to those idiots, but it's just both of you make a large part of your living or promotions on the internet. So you can't escape it. No. So it must be just something you have to deal with. I don't look at the comments from the podcast.

Oh. I don't look at none of those comments. I don't look none of the comments at the Rogan people. I don't look at none of those comments. I have a job to do and I don't even need to read that stuff. I try to tell everybody, have a good day. I tell everybody to be safe and have a great weekend. Anything out of that realm, I can't look at.

Sometimes you wake up and some guy hits you with a dumb remark like that thing the other day. Yeah. I was in the okay mood so I didn't fire back at him or whatever. I just said a prayer for him and hopefully a Uber or hit him or something. Hilarious. That was your prayer. It's like the brave part of me and the bold part of me wants to be like, yeah, you're bashing me, but my name's still in your mouth.

So whatever. You know what I mean? But then at the same time, it's still kind of gets you in and I'm the same way. I don't read my reviews or my comments or anything. However, recently I fell prey to my, I broke my own rule and God, I remember why I don't read those things because it can really mess you up in your mind where you're on track doing what you're supposed to do. And now, just like you said, this fool who lives in his mom's basement, because she's

the only one who can stand them, had something to say about me and like pick me apart to where now I'm insecure and I think about that one thing he said while I'm on stage. And I'm like, oh yeah, he said this was whatever, you know, and it's like, I try not to even read the reviews, but then there's also that part of you that wants to feel validated. Like, well, are people liking what I'm putting out there? You know, but it's not worth it at all. And I've learned my lesson once again, not to read reviews because those aren't the people that I care about anyways.

The last year, somebody sent me a Reddit and it was a Duncan Trussell podcast Reddit. And some guy wrote in there, I have no, I don't like Joe Diaz. He goes, I don't even know how he's a comedian because comedians, I've never liked comedians that were overweight. There's no funny comedians that are overweight. And I looked at that comment and there was another friend of his that was jizzing with him like back and forth. Like, I hate like co-signing each other.

Yeah. I hate out of shape comedians also. I think that you shouldn't go in the public eye if you're not in shape. And I'm thinking about John Candy. I'm not even thinking about me. I'm thinking about John Candy and Belushi. Yeah. I'm thinking of John Penet.

I'm thinking about that these guys have, they don't even know where they're coming from. They don't even know where they're talking from. They don't. So it's like, at the end, what does he say? What does Jesus say? Father, forgive them. They don't know who the fuck they're fucking. That's right.

They don't know what they're messing with. Forgive them. They don't, they don't know. Yeah. They don't cry out to God. Yeah. So there's Netflix special. What's the name of it?

It's called Not Fancy. And it came out last Friday. October, the beginning of October. And then the other one that Nuevo, so all those specials. All my specials, I have three specials. And they're all on Netflix. And they're all on Netflix. And my new one's called Not Fancy.

And where are you this weekend? San Jose Improv. The home of the free. Yeah. My home. Back to my roots. And you do it once a year? No.

You had to stop also every 18 months or two years. Yeah. I can't, I don't write material fast enough. I told these people, yeah, they stop it. Yeah. They put me in Ohio three times in one year. What? And I finally realized it two weeks ago in Toledo.

People like, I saw you in Columbus in January. God. So I went home and I drew my own schedule for 2016. Oh, nice. Nice. And that's it. This is where I'm going. Yeah.

I'm going to tell you about the schedule that you have. And he said to me, and I go, I told you, no Tempe. I've been going to Tempe since Jesus' lecture. No more Tempe. I don't want to go to Florida after this week for a year. There's a lot of places you have to cut out for you. I do like 15 months to almost two years. 18, yeah.

I try not to do two years, but like 15, 18, that's, that's my, my money spot right there where I feel confident enough to come back with. Yeah. You might hear some of the same new, some of the same jokes you've heard, but there's going to be a lot of new stuff. And I'm dealing with that now because my special just came out. And so now people are seeing it and coming to my shows, but I'm still working on writing new materials.

So some people don't understand how standup works. They think you, some people think you're just making it up on the fly. And that's just what it is. And then other people just don't get that it takes time to come up with a new hour of material. And just this past weekend, I had, I did a great show. Like the crowd is so into it. They're having so much fun Baltimore.

Okay. They're having so much fun. I'm having fun on stage, you know, cause there's, there's some of the shows where you're in robot mode and you're just saying your material. And then there's other shows where you're like, I love what I do. You're rocking it. Yeah. Killing it.

This drunk lady in the front just was doing too much and we had to escort her out. You know, okay, time for you to go. See you later. Thanks for coming. And as I'm dealing with that, some guy yells out, we've already seen this show online. And it was like towards the end of the show, everybody's had a great time. You know what I mean?

And it was like one, the audacity you have to yell out something like that. Clearly you don't understand how comedy works. But even your insult is not even accurate because half of my show, I know for a fact, you haven't heard because I just wrote this stuff about my new house that I just bought a couple months ago. I filmed my special last year. So I know this is new. You know what I mean?

So your insult is not even accurate. If you would have said, I've seen half of this show on the internet, then I would accept that. I'd be like, yeah, you're right. You did. You know what I mean? But it was like, I couldn't believe it that somebody had the audacity to yell that out. And it was just like, well, you know what, whatever, I can't even focus on that because

I know I'm working hard on writing material, but I know it doesn't just come like that overnight. I'm not, you know, these other comics who do a new special every year, just pump out material because they live at the comedy club. I don't do that. But then you get the people that come up to you and go, man, you didn't do the bit about this. Exactly.

And I'm not one of those comics that after I do a special, all right, I'm scratching all that material. So I'm going to do all new stuff. No way. That's not fair to my fans to make them pay whatever $30 or whatever they're paying to come to a show and then sit through new material that might be funny, might not be funny. Like Russian roulette, maybe my $35 will be worth it. Maybe it won't.

No, I'm going to give you jokes that I know are proven to be funny because I've been doing them across the country and people laugh when they hear it. I'm going to give you some of those. And then I'm going to splice in some new ones that I hope you laugh, you know what I mean? So it's like, it's that fine balance. But then at the same time you hear people random shout out or they tweet you after like, you need to write new material. I've already heard this before.

I've had people tweet me that too. And I'm like, well, sorry, I don't write fast enough for you, but this is my act. This podcast, we do it twice a week. We used to get up at five in the morning and do it at six in the moment, never charged, never considered charging a thing for, okay. Last week I got a fucking email from some chick that said, we hate when you do this with the bottles, four people we know how to stop listening and now we're about to stop listening. And I told it only the door hit you.

You know, it's so much people feel so indebted, you know, and sometimes you got to let them know this man. We do this as a kindness of our fucking hearts. You know, you got to take a picture with them. Can you call my buddy who's in wait, listen, I got a hundred people waiting to fucking take a picture. I can't call your buddy. They want to shoot a short film.

You know, it's always these demands and you're like, listen, we're taking a picture. Why can't we be happy in your own skinneth? Isn't that in the Bible if you don't come out and take a picture, then there's that to the what I paid $35 to come see you and you can't even come take a picture. I go out and take a picture. Girl, you paid $35 for the show that you got. Did you not have a good time in the show? Yeah.

I had a great time. You're welcome. Even exchange. Even exchange. It's crazy. It's not satisfying. And the Internet, listen, when the Internet, they get to know you, so they want more. They know you more, which in a way is great, but in a way for some people, it's kind of

weird in some ways, but some people it's great. They have a relationship. Like you said, you go to some town, went to Minneapolis, my gal showed up, Brandy Lynn. I know these people. They've been coming for the last three years. I've been to Minneapolis. You become friends with them, you know, through Facebook and Twitter, now you could become a friendship.

Happy birthday. Bobby Sharon, the dude in Texas, you know, you become friends with these people. They have your relationship soon, but then you have these other people that Johnny come lately. They just look in the fucking criticize and they move on to the next guy and criticize. You know, I saw some guy attack me a month ago that attacked Corolla. Corolla's the nicest guy in the world. He didn't even say nothing wrong.

He's like a geeky guy. This guy was attacking Corolla. So there's just people out there that are having bad days. What do you think, Lee? You attack people on the Internet? Not on the Internet, but then it also happens in real life because I've heard this conversation. People always, when you're in the public eye, it happens, but then people just even trying to get noticed.

Even in real life, we'll do it. Like yelling. Something that I've always really tried hard to do is because I saw when I was younger is people like yelling at red restaurants and at servers. It does something to my insides because it drives me crazy. But then you talk to them, like sometimes I will respond on Twitter and people get so into it. They eat the words.

Well, they don't eat the words. So much. But all they wanted was to get an interaction to get noticed and then I'll say it a lot with you. Oh, much love, especially for you. You have a reputation for being, you have all these things, like Momo and all this. So people will say it to you. Does that ever bother, like, do you know that, do you know that they're just kind of repeating

what you say? It doesn't matter. It's not what you say. It's how you say it. Right. And I know how somebody is saying things. You know, right. And some, I was thinking of a thing that happened to me once in a weed store.

Every time I go to a weed store, a guy would say something to me. He'd say it under his breath and I played with him for about two months until one day I looked at him. He caught me in one of those Diaz days and I looked him straight in the face and I asked him, I go, who gives you the right to say that? Don't say that again. You don't know me and I don't know you. Then he hated me after that because I tried to give him the respect of the man.

I didn't attack him. I just pulled him aside in front of nobody and I go, don't say that no more unless you want me to say it to you. You wouldn't want me to say it to you and he got really like offended and he never talks to me. Even when I go there now, sometimes he won't talk to me. He looks the other way. You know, he couldn't accept being a man.

I just said, don't say that no more. I don't know. I get weird about it. I get, I just know how some people are saying things and then you, and you brought up earlier, Angela, the, uh, you can't read reviews at the, I think it might even be harder for me sometimes not responding to positive things. Like I see a lot. Some people will retweet compliments and I occasionally I'll do it for a podcast or

something that I did, but it's, it's just as damaging, I think. Yeah. Caring too much about the positive things. You totally hit it right on the money because it's, it's one of those things where, uh, like when, when that happened, when I had read those reviews, um, on Netflix that were just terrible and, um, immediate, and I was so surprised by it because as soon as my special premiered on Netflix, my Twitter was flooded with love from people, people who had never heard of me, fans who were like, we've been waiting for this special.

You didn't disappoint. This is your best one yet, which is how I feel about it. I feel like this is my best one. Yeah, you get better and better and better at it was flooded in one weekend. It premiered on Friday by Sunday. I think it was. I said I had like 10,000 new followers on Instagram. I had hundreds of tweets from people that were just like, oh my God, this was hilarious.

I'm showing all my family, all kinds of stuff, right? So that when I went on Netflix and I saw the terrible things that were written about, I was like shocked. I was like, oh, wait, what? Like I really, I, I really was surprised to see that people didn't like it that much. And so as soon as I read those negative things, I immediately went back to Twitter and read some of the positive things just to like cheer me up again or whatever it was. And then I had to stop because I was like, no, no, no, no, no.

This isn't how it works. You guys don't validate me and make me who I am. I have to be secure enough with what I'm doing and happy enough with what I'm doing and saying and how I feel. And that's where I find my truth in my center. To me, it's what God says about me and what I say about me, whether you're saying something good about me or bad about me, it's going to go one year and out the other. Because the second this positive feedback changes their tune about me, then I'm, I'm like up

and down based on what people think about me, but I don't want to be unhealthy like that. I want to be a healthy, secure individual where I'm like, no, I'm empowered by what God says and what I say, not by what you say, whether it's good or bad. So you hit it right on the money. It's whatever people say, good or bad. It's thank you. And it was tough for me at the beginning because like, I, this is my first real, like before

there's my only Facebook friends were my actual people in my life. Like when I first started this podcast, I have 50 Twitter followers. And like, it doesn't sound great to say, but yeah, like when you get nice tweets, it feels good. It feels great sometimes. Like if you do something and like for the next week, you get positive tweets every once in a while, I want to retweet it or I'll feel great about, but it's, it's something that you have to learn.

I hate negative tweets, but I hate positive tweets even more. I hate all that shit. Really? It drives me crazy. It drives me crazy. Why? It drives just to get embarrassed. I get as red as you get inside.

You're crazy. I can't handle it. I can't. So I just don't look at it all together. I definitely, I'll go through times where I'll retweet the positive things because to me, it's like me promoting my special without hounding my fans saying, Hey, everybody, watch my special. Hey, everybody, watch my special.

So instead of me saying that again, I'll just retweet a fan who was like, Oh my God, we watched it and we loved it. I love the joke when you said, blah, blah, blah, I'll just retweet it. And to me, that's me marketing my special without saying, Hey, everybody, watch my special because then you're just repeating yourself and then your fans don't want to hear that. You know what I mean? So I keep it light on Twitter. I only bang them in the morning and I stay away until the rest of the day because I don't

want to be one of those guys. I don't want to get caught up on Twitter, so I'll stay on Twitter the other day. We had a good time on Periscope. We watched the football game for a couple minutes and criticized the people like that. But that's it. So you're aware this weekend? San Jose. And then next weekend.

Oh, West Nayaq, Liberty Live. You like that place? I've never been there. I'm not sure if they like me. I'm supposed to go on April. Have you done it? No, I've never done it before. I'm supposed to go.

I used to go up there as a kid. They used to be a crazy bar when I was a kid up in Nayaq called a cuckoo's nest. They used to give you six Budweiser's for a dollar and a bucket. Wow. That's a deal. Oh, my God. And the last time we went, my friend got into a fist fight with the Hindu doorman. Uh-oh.

They, who, who, he zapped him with acid and he got into a fight with the, with the dog guy hysterical, the cuckoo's nest. So we go to New York and then go, let's go up to the cuckoo's nest. It was like a college bar. We were in high school. Now it's like a city. Yeah. Like Nayaq is like a city now.

This is 20 years ago, 30 years ago. It was a long time ago. What's the matter? What are you staring at? You gave your buddy acid and he got in a fight with the Hindu doorman? Yeah, Roger. And we were sitting there like a week later watching the Durand Durand video and he goes, that's the Hindu.

That's the guy from that beat me up and this is 1980 something. Wow. Let me give a shout out to, uh, they give a shout out for the names yet. No, not yet. All right. We'll do it all at one shot. See, Angela Johnson got me all confused today and shit. Mr. Sunshine, Matt V, twisted trucker, big Bob Shannon, Lee Dixon, David Christiansen,

Justice Case Baker or Justine, whatever your name is, Gene Smith, John Wolf and Thomas Easter. I'm going to be at the Fort Laudale Improv this weekend, Thursday, Friday and Saturday and I'm home for Halloween and I got Portland and I got the New Jersey Stress Factory. Let me read these things and get the hell out of here so you guys don't get stuck in traffic. Were you right up here? You got no traffic.

Yeah. Just get on channel and go north and do 90. Just slow down during the June neighborhood. Those people don't mess around. You hit one of those people. You're done. You got to go to your 90 supporting that habit. They will sue you.

Who are you? Angela Johnson, Matt TV. Can I tell you? I just saw Israel. We all know how sexy confidence can be and that confidence comes from being comfortable. But how great can it feel if your underwear is wrinkling and riding up? Not too good. Me on these gets it and that's why they've created the world's most comfortable underwear

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How's that feel Lisa? That's pretty great. That's what I'm talking about. So do me a favor. The sweet and the deals me off me on these is offering you 20% off your first order. So go to me on these.com slash Joey. That's a special offer for all my listeners. Make sure you go to me on these.com.

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The ones I got on today. They're too tight. You know, I feel like Iron Man. Modal really is what happened. Modal really is. All my sheets. My bed sheets. Somebody said, and then I read it on the, on the me on these sheets here also for all

your supplementation. Go to honor.com right now, whether it's the hep force, the hep force protein, the chocolate, two scoops, 32 grams to the alpha brand, 100% money back guarantee alpha brain, 100% flagship of the company. Also the shroom tech. That's what I'm going to take tonight because I'm doing a little kettlebell style. I didn't work out today. I've been busy all day.

So I'll do some kettlebells tonight in the darkness after the baby falls asleep by myself out there. Just pick her up and just start sleeping. Please. I picked her up today 2000 times at the park. And that's it man. Angela, I'm really happy you came on. You're a sweetheart.

You're America's sweetheart in my book. Thank you so much. And it was great seeing you and enough said. Thank you. Did you get to meet everybody? I did. It was amazing. I was Gandalfini.

Very cool. Oh my God. He was, I had so really quick because I don't know we're signing off, but when he first walked on set, like he had this energy that would just shift a room, right? And so like he, he was just so cool. And I got super starstruck. I don't typically get starstruck. And I didn't grow up watching the sopranos.

So it's not like, oh, it's the guy who was, it wasn't that at all. It was just, he had something about him and I, I got real quiet and like, couldn't like look at him. And then he called me on it. We were sitting, it was me, him and the director and we were sitting there off in one of the rooms while we were waiting for them to change lights and stuff. And he was talking to the director about me as I'm sitting right here. And he goes, yeah, she's a, she's a quiet one.

And I was like, I'm actually not, but I get all weird around you for some reason. I don't know what it is. And then he just started cracking jokes with me. He's really good with women. Yeah. That was the special. After that it was, hey mama, Kamiro, hugs and all that kind of stuff. He was amazing and so loving.

And then I remember he came to my trailer after and asked if I would take a picture with his son because his son was a really big fan of mine. And I just thought it was amazing that James Gandolfini was coming to my trailer saying, Hey, would you mind taking a picture for me? And I was like, Oh my God, you're asking me to take a picture is insane. But he was amazing. And, and, and, you know, we, you know, I saw you in something and I was like, look at my girl, Angela Johnson hanging out with white people.

Okay. Still playing a Mexican though. Fucking still playing a Mexican, but it don't matter that paycheck goes all the way to the back to the cartel. I love you mama. I love you too. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming on Lee.

You're a bad motherfucker. What's up? I have a great podcast with a Sal Genoa, a director on my podcast, find your radio. All right. We're going to close with killing in the name of my rage against the machine. I'll see you savages in Fort Lauderdale, Friday, Saturday, Thursday night, stress factory second week in November in Jersey. I don't want to hear it.

If it sells out, they got to all get mad at me. You got to add shows. I ain't added dick. I got a two and a half year old. I got to spend time with, if not God knows what could happen to this podcast is brought to you by me on these, go to me on these.com slash joey, great. Go to me on these.com slash joey to get 20% off of your first order and free shipping in the United States and Canada.

Go to on it.com and use code word church to get 10% off all the great optimization products like Alpha brand new moods from the community to export. It's code word church to get 10% off. All the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses, all the same at Bar Crosses. Kill it in the name of

Kill it in the name of Now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya

Now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya Come to this land, I'm just fine WILLIAM AND THE BANINAUDIBLE They're just the five, those who died

From getting in the bag, taking drugs and what? Some of those are workforces On the same network crosses Some of those are workforces On the same network crosses Some of those are workforces On the same network crosses Some of those are workforces

From the same network crosses Ah! Killing in the day, Mom! Killing in the Day, Mom! Now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya Now you do what they told ya

Now you do what they told ya Now you're under control And I can do what they told ya Now you're under control And I can do what they told ya Now you're under control And I can do what they told ya Now you're under control

And I can do what they told ya Now you're under control And I can do what they told ya Now you're under control And I can do what they told ya Don't you die? I'm justified But we're in the back

They get dropped in white You're justified Drops and died But we're in the back They get dropped in white Drops and died I'm justified But we're in the back

They get dropped in white You're justified Drops and died But we're in the back They get dropped in white Come on! Come on! Huh?

Huh? Fuck you I wouldn't do what you told me Fuck you I wouldn't do what you told me Fuck you I won't do what you told me Fuck you Iwon't do what you told me Fuck you Iwon't do what you told me Fuck you Iwon't do what you told me Fuck you Iwon't do what you told me

Fuck you Iwant't do what you told me Fuck you Iwon't do what you told me Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me What the fucker?