Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #329 - Jon Budd

Episode Date: October 30, 2015

  Jon Budd, Jiu Jitsu brown belt under Jean Jacques Machado,is one of the owner's Of V.M.A.C. in North Hollywood joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio.   This podcast is brought to you by:   Blue Apron: Go to blueapron.com/joey to get your first two meals free   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   MeUndies.com Go to meundies.com/joey for 20% off and free shipping in the USA and Canada   Recorded live on 10/29/2015.   Music:   Black Sabbath - Electric funeral Soundgarden - Blow Up The Outside '  

this show is brought to you by blue apron blue apron sends gourmet recipes oh wait let me turn the camera on for you i don't work cock sucker it's on the artwork gg and we already took chocolate what is that oh Jesus the show is brought to you by blue apron blue apron sends gourmet recipes and all the fresh ingredients you need to make them right to your door sure i don't know what i took well that's what i don't know yeah sure blue apron uh and our listeners get the first two meals for free just go to blue apron dot com slash joey

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states and canada and go to on it dot com and use cobweb church to get 10 off all the great optimization products oh shit just when you thought it was safe the church shows up hide the children tie the mother-in-law up oh shit here we go nice early afternoon podcast october 29th the day before devil's night a lot of you youngsters that don't know what devil's night is all about when you slash somebody's

fucking neck the night before thanksgiving light their house on fire you would do that can i make a jump of course what's happening lisa at your back motherfucker devil's night for you to no no no it's all week that's it do you ever see the movie the crow i know i don't like scary movies the night before it all part of it is growing up it was the night before halloween devil's night that's when you pack the socks and you threw eggs at a house and your toilet paper the wall we call it mischief night

mischief yeah same fucking difference but yeah devil's night it's the devil hell diablo what's up cock sucker thursday i haven't seen you all week you know i know i've been hiding out and beat up you went to jiu jitsu today you fucked my world up i thought it was just a lot of fun just uh i've actually just been kind of crazy like you told me when i first started jiu jitsu it's good to get people from outside of your realm but then the past like a couple weeks i've kind of been like not depressed but upset because i realized i don't really have

kind of basically what you have like with friends like i don't i have you and i have paul and i have family and stuff but ever since i moved out here i was working so much john our guest and you will understand it when you're working so much you don't really focus on friend and like all any friend i had was from work so ever since i stopped working i don't really have like i can tell you anything but it's also like you're my boss so i don't i'm your boss we do this together i'm not your fucking boss yeah but in a way but it's also just like

i was thinking about the other day dropping us i don't really have anyone out here who i can like just like just friend stuff just to tell them to it's we're Simone you got the agostino you got john bud oh you know yeah you just uh we forget we we get ourselves sometimes i do the same thing i sit there some nights like i'm bored to pieces yeah i gotta get new friends we got a ton of friends we just have no friends or the crazy anymore they go out 1130 and go to yum yum donuts and smoke pot you know it's just uh but there's a difference between friend and like

acquaintances no not even just acquaintances it's like yeah steve's my friend the agostino is my friend but just like where you can call them and be like hey this is this is what i'm doing this is what's going on in my life and i don't know which way to go hard to heart right i don't have because with my parents they want me to be successful and they want me so they'll they'll they're paula is thinking about her future and she she also just has no basis in this so she's thinking about it so it's kind of weird

like i'm at a weird point in my life and i feel i just i don't know where to go and it's also it's like i feel i need somebody to bounce stuff off of sometimes a weird point in your life is all in your fucking head you got no weird point in your life it's called life it's all weird yeah and you look at it you suck it in you observe it and you fucking move on we went to a meeting yesterday that opened up my eyes about a lot of shit but made me sad about it i was really upset last night really i was upset for a few hours after that

meeting yesterday but i'll tell you what i thought about after my wife went to bed i made some notes how can you make this better you learn from and this is how you make things better you know you have no sticking point you're a 27 year old young man that has the world by the ball you can do whatever you want you know you you should not have a ceiling on your income you should not have a ceiling on your career i never understood that i never understood how

you go to college you come out you're 25 and you sign your life away and one day you're 65 and you get a gold watch and then you go to me how come you have stories like that joey dears i i didn't live a life like that because i was a bump for a while because sometimes i took chances and i lost and that's the repercussions of losing sometimes i know what it is to have 60 bucks on a wednesday and go this has to last me till friday but you know what i'm gonna snort that gram blow and fuck eating tomorrow and next thing

you know you gotta rob a purse at the fucking date care when you drop your kid off you know that's life that's life it's uh and you're not at a tough spot you're at a spot that you're questioning your future right which if you don't question your future you got to be fucking a dummy if you don't stick to i mean peanut butter today when i'm gonna eat lobster tails every day and get my dick suck you got a question your future and it's weird for i was i was realized this yesterday i was at john's and i saw like a 16 year old kid getting

orders from my manager like an old adult and i thought about it i grew up i went to school went to college and i had regular jobs so i've always had someone to tell me what to do like the past few weeks i've almost like i wish almost that someone could just tell me what to do a little bit you don't like just not even no you fucking don't not even just in order but just like which way to go but then i don't want that this is our life it's but it's been 25 years of being told well you know it's hard it's like fuck it's weird it's what you're used to yeah what

you're used to you know your mom wants you to be successful but you also want you to be the key word is what every woman wants in a relationship security right women's whole thing inside deep is security they want to know that they're going to be taken care of they're going to eat until one day a woman says fuck you motherfucker and she gets pissed and she goes out on her own and makes her own steak in this fucking world right now she doesn't listen to feminists or get a tattoo or say i'm creative she just fucking goes for it okay yeah

and and your friends want sometimes in a way what's convenient for them you know hey do whatever you want to do let me tell you about what's going on in my life with my girlfriend they'll just pass over your story right the great thing about me man is i'm an old man and i've been an old man since i was your age i was always an old man since i was your age so a lot of people come to me and ask me what and how can i tell somebody not to pursue their dream i had the world by the balls

john bud i got up in the morning i got a truck that was leased for me they released a cell phone for me and i'd go to people's houses or people's buildings and i'd measure a roof and then go back and type it in and check with firestone and they'd give me 800 a week and then i did some scams on my own to make some money i had the world by the balls but not really i was working for somebody yeah i was making them money they weren't splitting nothing with me they weren't giving me a percentage of their profits they were just paying me fucking

salary but not even working for somebody so much it's just like telling you what your next step is yeah that's i'm there's no next step life will tell you what the next step is and you have a split fucking decision to make a decision you have a split decision to make a fucking it's frustrating it's like it's like john you you left editing it's frustrating john's had 10 careers and see what did you major in first of all john bud's here one of the uh brown belts at vmack one of the owners of vmack and the topic today is

martial arts we want to talk about martial arts and how it affects your life and i've heard statements over the year that this doesn't work or this doesn't help you a wing chung is ineffective again and karate is ineffective and jujitsu is ineffective if the guy has a stick well guess what everybody's gonna have fucking something but it's better the other day you said something you tore this legs and you go listen this has nothing to do with you motherfucker so i'm gonna be honest with you i'm wasting air here teaching you a leg lock because you're a white belt but

i'm gonna teach you just in case you're on the street and somebody holds you and you're not there scratching your fucking head you know it's like today we're talking about spider guy when people get in a spider guy and they're you all like a scarecrow breathing and you're like what's my next move i got none i gotta run like a motherfucker and break this bond that's the only fucking he's got arms he's got feet in both armpits and he's picking me up and i got the smell of foot and armpit traveling to my fucking nose by the minute

so even though it's your armpit it's your armpit who gives a fuck you know and this is where martial arts teaches you a lot the reason why i had john buddy at today's because i was thinking about this a lot how everything every time i've had a good patch of luck in my life and what's luck opportunity meets what is it hard work hard work yeah what's luck part of the catalyst to that luck is the hard work is the martial arts experience yeah yeah my training with martial you said it keeps calling you back it always has

called me back because i always knew that the day i left martial arts was the day my life went into fucking pisser the day i left martial arts february 19 1979 was the day i left martial arts my big plan was to win a tournament to win the the sparring and the form okay and quit on top okay listen man i'm 15 i'm starting to finger people right i'm smoking a little bit of pot but these fucking geeks at karate they

don't smoke pot all they want to do every week is go to tournaments or go to honda and buy supplies right i'd sit there with eight fucking geeks and go to oh look at those stars oh look at that geek oh that's what we do on saturday eight jerks going to new york meanwhile somebody's getting their dicks up two blocks away and there's eight 13 year olds at honda clothing supply you know martial arts masturbating over a ghee and the fucking headgear and stars stars we were you know going to china town and

taking a chinese guy in the back and asking about the chinese we want the recipe to the to the iron palm technique he would suck and he would suck us in coming to back who's with you right and he would say it was this is and it's called like chin wool juice they sell it everywhere he'd take us in the back and what most kids would pay a dollar for here we are paying fifty dollars yeah you rub this on your hands and you hit this magic bag that's being a fucking geek yep and eventually your hands will get tough

and they'll get red like this shirt when you get into a fight and people will run away that should never happen so you put it punching stones and you punch some sand and yeah yeah and one day i go i'm not doing this no more my friends are fingering people they're sucking tip behind the grammar school they're smoking pot to listen to music i hang out with these morons every week so i made a 50 50 from like october to february i would go to martial arts two times a week okay and i would only hang with them one saturday a month or two

instead of four right you know i was going to martial arts five nights a week when you're a kid you go four nights a week you go to the kid class and then once you become a green buck let you stay for the adult class and that's what i did i went from six to fucking nine and then you sweep the gym you're the lower belt you sweep the gym that's called respect it's not something that you let me let's do a 21 no because you're the guy knew whoever went for that broom that guy's building character it's not about i'm gonna rush to see my girlfriend

it's the guy it's like zack would always mop on monday nights and i would jump in there mop that teaches you how to be a man that's and anybody could kick it's humbling and anybody could punch you yeah you know anybody could fucking be in a movie and let me see you mop a fucking floor at night that's the martial arts side of it it's not kicking it's not the punching and i think that the country right now with all the ufc and mma we've lost what the martial arts is really

about we've mixed them together we've evolved karate with this and oh yeah but what like i've always told you since like a month after i met you and i never told marcellus i never told john ebbon this there's just certain people you're a true martial artist i try i try you know i mean it's weird for weird to hear that you know i see a lot of guys and they're good you know a lot of guys are good um when you say a true martial artist what do you mean

like what do you mean when you say that to me a true martial artist is not somebody who walks with a leather jacket down the street and bitslaps people right a true martial artist sees the other side of it he sees uh you said today that you love in your gym when a purple belt stops i could take lee and kick him yeah not do anything but i get off of lee and i go lee put your arm let's start from scratch get your remorse right that's a martial artist yeah you rather you know where you don't have

much to prove you don't have much to prove yeah that martial look i could sit here and go fuck you know uh bill burr did this big thing uh about uh alternative comedy okay it's it's it's hitting right now and i'm very happy he said it because i too am a true comedian yeah you know and i respect and i don't like i don't like and it's true those show those fucking shows started all weakened our comedy sense and these people are not into you know there's two types of comedy this town there's comedy you belly laugh

yeah and there's the comedy that's intelligent and witty and right everybody goes to for a scene you know i'm saying bill burr really broke it down in this uh in this speech he really and i want to always say what he said i just didn't know how to get into it yeah we've never touched on it you know i don't even know how he got into this from martial arts but a martial artist is somebody it carries over into my comedy i've never been competitive because of that listen right that guy from that because there's a million and he's gonna do what he's

gonna do and rogan's gonna do what he's gonna do and triple he's gonna do what he's gonna do yeah joey has to do what he does if you sit there as a yellow belt and you look at that purple button you throw hate at him because he's the best that's not a martial artist a martial artist is the guy that looks at that purple button says you know what i want i'm gonna learn from this motherfucker this guy's doing something right that's a martial artist somebody who always wants knowledge when you go see john joe and he's

got a black belt with eight or a red belt with eighteen strikes on a coral belt whatever that is yeah this guy's put the time in you always you always when you refer to john joe you refer to him as a master when i was selling coke carrying guns i would look at you and said get your life together and when i walked away from your master what the fuck is this but that's what a true martial artist is you know why he's a master not because he could beat up chuck ledell not because he could submit john jones because a master means he's put the time in oh

he deserves respect because he's been doing it for 35 years absolutely half of america can't do anything for 35 minutes right 35 minutes it's when i first started editing there's two different programs you can use usually it's a final cutter avid and i asked a bunch of the editors when i first started which one do you like better right and every answer i got was this from good editors was it doesn't matter it's it's the tool that i use so for what bill burr said i'm sure you could go into any room

do comedy and make most of the people laugh you if someone said john if john was like oh i do comers this way you wouldn't say no you would just oh maybe i can learn something absolutely so it's it's and when i heard that and i was that was like one of the first days of my life out here in la is it doesn't matter what program so it doesn't matter what room you're in it doesn't matter what style of jiu-jitsu look i'm an editor too editing has nothing to do with the program right yeah it has nothing to do with the program

yeah and and jiu-jitsu is the same way and john jack he said he was just a white belt who's never quit that's it you know a paraphrase what he said i don't know exactly the way he said it but it was something along those lines all i am is a white belt who's never quit you know and this is a guy who i mean talk about a martial artist you know the difference between him and his black belts or you know they say the one percent yeah he's up there you know you ask anybody that's rolled with him or

trained with him or learned from him they'll all tell you the same thing you know and uh like you said it was dedication i think he said his black belts and they're great his black belts are are awesome uh they train four times a week he trained four times a day i think he said something along those lines where that's that's the that's why there's a difference you know that's dedication on and he can was talking about they lived on the mat and they just in the mornings they just get out their brothers and

yeah john jack said they used to move all the furniture around in the house and you know bang they would go you know so that's nice you have five brothers you can you can do all that you know and they were all into it and yeah now you grew up in Connecticut yeah born in Connecticut born in portchester new york okay you know or you know play uh playland is yeah right right there right there i'm gonna ride new york yeah there was something else in rye new york not uh when i was a kid i used to go to rye for something else

oh jesus what the fuck was it but playland was the big thing there was a pool up there like a big pool i dragged it the dragon roller coaster was the big yeah i think it once had to pool that's how i knew i had the lung infection and i was waiting for a hamburger on a line the sun was hit me i went down like a fucking uh what possessed you to walk into a was karate the first no my i uh was in college i was in ithica and upstate new york and uh i i needed an activity that's really what it was so i i started blue wave taekwondo

that's what it was and uh i did that the whole four years of my my college and you know lee like you were saying you're having trouble finding friends and stuff and someone to confide in and and share and bounce ideas off i think you find that in the martial arts i think you find people in you already have something in common right you're already there you're already trying to learn an art together you know look for a friend in there you know i've always been very jealous of people like joey who can walk into a room and are immediately at

least outwardly it seems like our best friends with everybody can can can laugh and get loud i'm a very introverted person this podcast has helped a lot yeah yeah but it it takes me but you get in there you talk to people a little bit i've gotten better but like when i was when i was working like at a job it would take me a week or two at a place before i would talk to anybody tell him the truth why sent you the v-man tell him the truth so i would have yeah so i would go out and get a beer i go you hang out with a

fat 50 year old fat fucking exfaling that's your life you talk to an exfaling who gives you edibles all fucking day and tries to corrupt your little fucking nice jubilant okay why don't you go hang out with some 27 year olds octavio yeah yeah those kids that once a month you know fuck paula fuck joey and fuck steve simone and comedy i'm gonna go be a 27 year old and giggle sure you know octavio's a geek too he takes pictures and oh yeah that's why i said to you go over i didn't say nothing about getting in shape nothing about jujitsu

it's a camaraderie yeah somewhere where you're gonna go that yeah you know what man these people become your friends they become your family you know they become your dentist they become your eye doctor they you know it's a it's a community it really is some people you know then there's the one that's a douchebag that you don't want to hang out with that's okay and they go away on their own they go away on their own spoon yeah which is good when i did that to your leg yeah i was pushing you away but there was when i was like six to weekend v-man

this kid came in what do you do you give you like the no he can't open around your fucking scumbag kid in fact he didn't last at v-man right i saw him a couple times i thought he was a blue belt who wore a blue gi and he was kind of hawaiian looking and he came into john evans' day class one day and he did the not the berimbolo sweep but the other one okay where you put your leg behind you and you pushed the guy over yeah he didn't do it gently he fucking threw me with john evans stop and goes guy yeah man i didn't get mad

no but i knew what this guy and then he started talking about i've been here here after the third gym i see it now then i saw him a different day and somebody stopped him right he was squeezing and then he came in he was throwing he used to throw kicks and punches on sundays yeah and then and then one day he didn't ever came back right people at the douche bags like that they just keep going they go to gyms to well let me try this come on i'll squeeze it once hard or something like that they go away on their own because then a guy like uh marcello

will spot that guy and go you don't hurt people it's like what you said you want to hurt people yeah i'll show you how to fucking hurt people i'm a black but i'll hurt you yeah quickly we never want to do that and you never want to do that to nobody that's not marcello arts and this is what uh you know when i go man again when i'm home what do i talk to my wife about the podcast how many t-shirts did we sell today the cats the baby last night i was trying to write a joke at about 9 30 you know she came in the room and said to me the baby just found the chocolate syrup

what's that got to fucking do with me okay if i wasn't in jujitsu or doing kettle bells i would have launched her out the fucking window because it's 9 30 what's the baby finding fudge you got to do with me it's hidden in the fucking refrigerator so when i go to jujitsu there's nobody that's talking to me about comedy right time my spot is at right have you heard from this booker that motherfucker i didn't get this role that's the last thing it's a piece of mind to me i go over there to fucking sweat

yeah to scare myself yeah and to not talk it's one hour i don't even like bringing my phone with me to look at the time i don't give a fuck it's in the back because the baby somewhere in case when i leave i gotta pick her up but listen right no i don't nothing that's my hour that's my fucking hour of thinking about on bars smelling feet it's like one pointed concentration that's what it is you think you're there to think about one thing talk about one thing learn about one thing you know and you can leave all your troubles somewhere else

that's why if i have an audition at one i'll call john and go john and i'm taking class for it because i won't be focusing on my jujitsu right and the more serious the audition i can't get that fucking on bar yeah this is what's bothering me but you know what your head is somewhere else that's the mental toughness yeah oh yeah to what to life yeah you just learned about life you just learned about how to be patient and be in the moment everybody wants to be in the moment sometimes you walk down the street and you fall you know why

you fall because you're thinking of eating your girl's ass all later on and meanwhile somebody ran off the sidewalk and hit your cat with a car because you that's what it teaches you you know right now you said you have a problem with uh life's asking you the next question today we drilled something that's the same thing in life oh yeah i threw you around and then you're supposed to land and get the island hook and throw me off you know what you don't wait for him to get on top of you before

now i gotta get my arm no that's too late as he's maneuvering boom that knee and that leg go up that's it that's how quick your decisions have to be in life yeah that's martial arts martial every time you leave vmack hegan's 10 planet on the way home you should be scone yourself wow that fucking move wow so i loop over that again i'm gonna take him down every day when i get home before i piss wash my hands eat something make a protein shake

i go to jujitsu.com the thing i told you again and i'm right but i went to class and i write to move out that's i called that sleeve i called that a sleeve sweep that's good i don't know what the name is you write them move out uh write them move out it says notes bjjjournal.com it has notes and it has techniques and it has side guards so anything you learn from the side control that he learned he taught me the three on prom go for the neck no neck elbow hand choke you

you know from the top then it has bottom then it has spider guard that bjj.com is amazing that's nice because just going home so before i do anything anything shower call the girlfriend nothing i come in drop my bag and you write it out and i sit down the computer and as i'm as bjj.com is coming up as buffering i'm checking hotmail i go back i log in boom it says monthly's you clog mat time boom now you can look at your mat time shit i only went seven times this month last time i went 10

i gotta get on top of my fucking game then you switch the techniques you write the technique out then it says notes today i had a great time the fucking leaves stuck a knee in my throat but now i know how to extend against it you know what i'm saying no i listen today when you see me he taught you today huh he taught me but you also got me in side control and he stepped he's doing everything he's doing the right shit the wrong time but it's still work what did i do you got me you got me in half god you stepped on my arm oh yeah tremendous tremendous

tremendous i'm from class tremendous but it's supposed to be the side control step on my arm doesn't matter you remember i just doesn't matter because you kept moving the arm and i was like i just want to get this arm out of the doesn't matter you had me and i had you inside and i ain't uh in a half guard right you went all the way over stepped on my arm yeah it's fucking beautiful yeah beautiful completely fucking unorthodox but who gives a fuck it worked you thought anything goes into here i didn't

really i was gonna ask you didn't you say a couple months ago like the worst thing for a man is to think the worst thing worst thing because i was just thinking worst thing you can't fall asleep your dick won't get hard if you're thinking about your future right there go dick get hard nothing won't get hard nothing will happen right and then you just get scared you have to trust in your instincts and your heart that you're gonna wake up and something's good gonna happen you know what something's good gonna happen because you're gonna work that's why something good's gonna happen nothing

good happens if you watch fucking three black dudes arguing on mel's whatever show at nine a.m nothing happens right about whose father is it or you know what gang member nothing happens nothing you know what you have more of a chance of something happening if you get up took a newspaper went to no hold dining sat there somebody'll come up to you looking for a job no i'm just sitting here reading yeah i'm looking for a fucking job nothing happens at the fucking house right and thinking dog i told you when i was five years younger than you i used to shit i used to shit out of my ass and

then i the last push a little bit of blood would come up on the thing i'd look it down and look like i got shot with buckshot it'd be like six little stains of blood i'd faint and one day i went to the doctor and he goes there's nothing wrong with you took my blood x-rays of the stomach uh i was and he goes you know what you're doing you're thinking aren't you you're thinking about your future stop thinking was messing you up i'm thinking go to school do this dude don't ask questions who gives a fuck the guy told you

stick a butterfly here put the arm but what if he no who gives a fuck but there's no what if put your arm right here leave it there grab it good that's and this i i credit ten good things that i do in my life to those early years of martial arts my first martial art training started when i was five i got hit in the head with a flashlight and i was buck wilder my mom didn't know what to do i didn't know about the language so she put me in a black martial art school with black geese on 90th street with loran joe

whatever his father we're not a loran joe's father okay okay and this guy used to map set it a thousand times on the show unorthodox shit yeah sometimes you get to any stretch out and go everybody put your sneakers on we're going for a run and you'd have to run up and down your neighborhood with your guillon so the next day you go to school and those wise guys in the corner go hey mr karate yeah let's do this we saw you running around i mean he may who will make you run today right with your gear the whole clash the whole hour you went john jacked us as

an alibi today we're gonna run today forget you get to the leg kick and we go for a little run you're like oh yeah no central park he used to check your report card okay make sure your gi tie it all in was folded clean dog your gi there was no bags in those days there was no bags mike no bags you had to take your gi fold it size it up in front of him take the arm fold it spirit down as wet as it was smear it down and then you had to take your pants off shake them tie them pull the back fold them and make them the same size of the gi

tie it with a belt tie it with your belt all the way up like a ball and then you take your belt and you put it through and you looped it like you check jump and that's how you walk to school when i got my yellow belt i took that gi everywhere when i was seven i got my yellow belt was six i took that yellow belt everywhere you understand school everywhere anywhere i could carry that gi and i got my green belt in those days it was yellow green purple brown and black okay i went all i stayed with laranja till maybe uh i was 10 1973 because then i would just go on

saturdays when i went to catholic school in jersey i would just go on saturdays he taught me not to be embarrassed i was very insecure about myself very like he taught me not to be embarrassed do your motherfucking thing good you know he taught me to stretch and stay in shape like he you know he was one of those dudes that he you stretched and did calisthenics at before class right and after after yeah after he really that's really important he really did the jumping jack and then he would tell you if you're not in my class three

days a week i can't pass you you're not going to be eligible for the test they're standard standard so you gotta be there three days a week come when places show at the quarter when you get your report card he knew whether you went to class that day or not a copy of your report card had to be uh copied and dropped off at his office and if you didn't have the grades he wouldn't teach you he'd make you come in and you want to be a bum you want to be a janitor you sweep you do a dog and parents would go yeah yeah he doesn't want to be a fucking smart guy he wants to be a janitor

okay we'll give you your training right now start them now back rooms windows and you know how many kids quit in those days and their parents that were going on zero zero we got a deep fuck them go take them home mr wong and let them clean your fucking house that was a martial art that's a mark that that's fucking huge that is we don't care about your 60 dollars or 50 dollars a month if you don't get bees you can't come to the school wow that's good that's it sorry sorry and you know what i'm not gonna teach you but you're

still gonna come all through the semester yeah you i'm gonna let you spar and i'm gonna let you clean so for 45 minutes you're gonna come and since you want to be a janitor you could sweep and do the toiletries and that's it that's oh my god i'm bad oh that is not one kid quit right so had you were you done by the time you got left back because that must that would have probably sent him to the deep end tell you what happened let me tell you again very interesting i had no problems uh six first grade second grade third grade they put me in

catholic school fourth grade there was no problems fifth grade was when i threw the nun over when i hit foster and that's a move i learned in the flying nun huh the flying nun dog you know he didn't teach just karate he would teach you uh if somebody had you in a headlock yeah take their finger and more realistic twist them around every once in a while he got into street stuff that's great this was a real i do that to martial art fuck the geek today fuck everything what happens if somebody comes up to you with a knife what do you not do let me at least give you the basics yeah to get you out of it

shit like that in class with a rubber knife and shit yeah tremendous and you sit there going i don't want to learn this right but at the end of the class you're like wow no absolutely what were we talking about about getting left back getting left back okay when i started dry humping new yorker reason is sucking a little titties and shit it drove me so crazy that that was the first time i had ever taken a break from martial arts oh that summer that no i started i started messing around with her that january oh and i went all the way to karate

in fact i got a belt that holiday you always got a belt christmas you always got a belt every six months you got a stripe right belt if you went and i got a belt i got like a green belt in ishinru karate which is goju yeah this guy was his name was kevin norlander and he was built like you he was a no he wasn't a nice person he was a vietnam vet he was angry about the benefits age and orange right right but this guy had a great school and i heard he still teaches who leo rejigas called on the podcast about a year ago yeah he teaches that

same style somewhere in middle new jersey i looked him up he played it's gotta be 60 something 70 yeah but kevin norlander had a tight school too a lot of four and that's where i went but that the sam rite started watching donnie amnoree with her and i'm not going to go to class friday and then i was so jealous i just went wherever she went but that's the first time i ever found a lot of guys right all around town how old were you in the seventh grade the first time okay and all i did was we would leave school together i'll go to my house dry hump

she'd go home i walk her home then i go home eat dinner and i go right back to her house like a little fucking it was the first time i ever fell in love yeah yeah they left the marsh lords behind for a little while right oh marshall arts listen this is a thing called pussy have you guys ever heard of it or you're gonna sit here and throw kicks like a bunch of fucking fags all you 14 year olds i'm at home dry humping sucking titties and you're here doing push-ups like assholes but you know when i stopped studying i dropped everything i dropped athletics i dropped lifting weights in the garage i dropped going to mario diaz's

house i slept at eight and lived this girl because she told me we were gonna start dating that june after school for this we were gonna start dating i could sleep with her oh i mean any chance i got to make out with her i did yeah there was three months we didn't even make out we just put our lips together that's how much of a homo i was if i knew what i knew now i tell i get the fuck out of my face i'm gonna sit there and do this one time my grandmother came to the movies with us fuck you you think i would do that today

fuck you and your fucking grandmother okay old school she sucked dick too everybody sucks dick everybody sucks dick stop it i swear to god her grandmother used to come that's the worst because movies is the only place you have as a kid yeah her grandmother used to come and let me tell you how much of a fag joe dears was i was happy to go there and sit between the grandmother and her and i enjoy it like a half a fang like oh my god this is so great going to movies with grandma i loved them i loved her and all i thought about i remember once she let me just touch her pussy from the

outside to guys i don't have to tell you we've all been 13 you can't even eat you can't do nothing there's nothing in the world that matches that thing and i quit martial arts and i got uh that they sent me to summer school i stayed on her stayed on her and once that cold reality was i got left back it took me about a month ago i remember walking in there and him going i don't even know who you are like in those days they weren't very nice they didn't care about the money in those days and those days rent was a hundred bucks either you show up or you don't it's my

personal gym if not right if you don't show up it's my personal gym insurance was three dollars a month you know it really didn't matter if you show i'll just come in throw sidekicks so i'm going i'm going back with after like seven eight months then going first off i'm stripping your belt okay you know green belt because six months you're an elephant yeah yeah that's it you're yeah but i argued a little bit yeah but i felt so bad inside i felt like such a loser and after two months he gave me back my green belt he made me go back and test and he goes i'm gonna give you i don't know what happened and he told me what happened and i told him i

left back and he's like dog you're an intelligent kid what happened i told him i fell in love that's why i didn't come i had never been in love before and you're a kid and guys i used to go to school like so then once she told me that we couldn't date that she wasn't ready the last day of school this dirty bitch told me i'm not ready yet i snapped could have been a blue belt and now i was yeah i could have been i was really on her i was really on i remember going to school sitting in summer school for an hour and going to the nurse and going i can't take this i want to drive on but yeah and that's all i did guys i was not even fucking her this is how sad and pathetic i was as a young man yeah that's why i don't like when people fall in love because when

i went i went deep right right i mean i wasn't even fucking it she was at towards in the middle of summer she started taking off her shirt and i was like it's on it's on she would let me dry hump her without her shirt on two little skinny tits it doesn't matter yeah seventh grade though right seventh grade and i remember my dad called him in the closet ones and that was the end she's like see i told you i'll never show you my titties again and that was it so after that we fucking broke up whatever and i went back to karate right and my life changed completely when i got left back that was it because if my mother found out my mother would take the trust she had given me all those years my mom had a deal you take care of business i leave you alone let's take care of

business to your own laundry seventh grade yeah seventh grade to your own laundry because my mom would go i do laundry twice a week right you want to wear the jeans i can't give them back to you but if you want to do be my guest there's a washing machine downstairs let me teach others done that's good for you that's good for you she taught me and then i also learned how to wake up in the morning there was no more honey get up here's some orange juice none there was no more you don't go to school you don't go to school you don't go to school you can't go out you can't come up and work so right if you miss school you're late so once i got left back i made sure nothing happened it's like driving with a warrant you've been driving with a warrant not yet you stop at

lights completely you park you parallel park you look oh yeah it's the same thing i was driving with a warrant after i got left back because my mom didn't know i got left back so i went back to that karate school that i told but flaming and i would i would go to karate and practice basketball i fucking said fuck women i will jerk off to my head blows up i don't ever want that feeling again of being broken hearted right that was the most horrible feeling i got that shit out of the way at 12 once the pussy i got left back because of pussy if i'm not the dumbest kid you you know like when you guys come up to me after a show and go that was great i want you to think about that the guy you're telling this is great and it wasn't even real sex not even not even close it

wasn't like i was eating a pussy or sticking a finger up her ass and fucking up her world i was doing zelcho sitting at the movie theater i think about that now grand i want to fucking punch myself in the face i would allow like sitting with the grandma like you want popcorn i go get your popcorn fuck you bitch if i knew what i knew today i would have told the un your fucking granddaughter to both suck my dick who's first i don't give a fuck about titanic did i give a fuck about titanic i came here to get your daughter's pants not i swear to god the grandmother used to come to the fucking movie theater oh my god she'd drive you there and that the whole thing or what no we took a bus to even really embarrass me right now on this

fucking show to really let people know because i'm honest with you guys i'm a loser i thought you guys got to get to go bus with the grandma and her were you holding hands with the grandmother and what guys with a shirt on i'd bring a flower for the grandmother if i wasn't a total ass wipe a total fucking ass wipe well there's something kind of nice about it though there was nothing night looking back at it there's nothing nice nothing nothing nothing i was a complete failure as a man a failure i let pussy dominate me completely is that like what 14 13 7th grade first time you know i had hair on the side that's when they wake up to it yeah i had hair on the side of my dick that's when you don't have hair in the middle that's a tough thing your dick is

like mozo the sides are packed but the middle still empty you can't even show your dick to nobody because they're like what happened what happened to the patch what happened it's when that's when you're gonna trim the bushes on the side make that sidewalk a little bigger you know i think about that with that fucking girl and the shit i went through for those two years and it was horrendous i got left back and i gotta tell you prison prison my mother dying you know being labeled a thief when i was a kid being a thief being a you know a piece of shit thief nothing matched up to the feeling of getting left back of of because the last day of school you go to your you spend half the day with your teacher and then that was also your first

letdown that was your first horrible yeah that was something the first one listen anything could have happened in my life that was that was not supposed to happen right when you're a dumb kid that happens but when you especially when you're on that path you're on a path and also all i did was listen take notes leah and i have discussed this a thousand times right if you go to class every day yeah with an open mind and you take little notes like 1699 columbus whatever his friend was jose cortez right you just write little notes and every night when you go to sleep you just look at those notes by the time you get to october the finals yeah you got three quarters instead of studying 12 hours you study six these are the things i figured out your head that i knew

i knew and this is the scary thing because of martial arts i knew this but that year when i fell in love with nicky i didn't care about that i lost your head i depended on the class and the notes and guys the pussy had me so much i i i didn't even care about the grades like i didn't care about anything like i didn't sweep anymore i didn't take the garbage out of my house the bushes go along my mom's like what's going on with you and you weren't even getting anything nothing that's guys nothing nothing it is so fucking embarrassing but then i went back to martial arts and i gotta tell you something that year and a half that's seventh grade second time in eighth grade nobody listened to the podcast and grew up with me i became a tremendous basketball

player i mean when i first got into basketball and you're doing martial arts at the same time at the same time i figured out how to juggle okay because that's what i didn't want to do anymore my freshman year i played fresh in basketball i'm taking a bus when i get home at fucking six i gotta eat and take a bus to union city to make the men's class at seven to get beat up and yeah i had the energy but come on i want to do homework and get good grades so let's forget fucking karate you know that's what happened my friend that's what happened and then when i when i i got back into it i gotta tell you my grades went up again i had a schedule i had somewhere to be to report to myself when you're a child and your mother doesn't drive you to martial arts great and you get there

yourself it's a different thing when you take a bus and in those days i took a i walked up the hill north bergen which you've been to north bergen you know the fucking hill i walked up the yeah the chinese restaurant all the way to the top of the sea is and then i'd go to the bar and sometimes i'd take a cab from my mother's bar to 16th street where the karate school was which is 13 blocks but after karate i walked to the bar yeah i'd walk to the bar across the street i go to new moon chinese restaurant because i was total it's like people brazilians like people go to jujitsu eat acai bowl yeah they go to a brazilian steakhouse no no no in those days i left fucking karate and even though it's japanese i went to the new moon chinese restaurant you know i used to eat

in those days what chicken chan mein that's all i used to eat the celery with all this shit in the bottom yeah it's like a pot pot yeah yeah my mom used to make that and then i'm topped there with put little skinny white meat chicken right and all those little noodles those hard noodles those hard noodles and all i ate was the hard noodles and the chicken the rest fuck you celery's for stiffs and i would eat the rice and get the fuck out of there that's what i used to eat so i would walk 13 blocks after basketball practice and motherfucking karate dog stay at my mother's bar joke around take a 20 for mine then i'd get a cab back home that was my life but that karate those three years really put me on track and then i started doing drugs i started smoking pot

and one day i brought it up amongst my karate geeks and they went pale like i just told my karate geeks that day what i did the other night i smoked some pot i thought they were going oh yeah let's get some they were like they were like hey man that's fucked up you know that that you're gonna be doing acid soon i'm like no i'm not i just tried marijuana dog they did like their own kid intervention they used to call me every night you're not smoking pot with those animals in north bergen because these were spanish kids from union city they had a they had just come back from cuba they were they were very militant and they were anti drugs and shit we were like a team we were gonna be the next bruce lee's we were how can you smoke pot and i was like guys it's all

because these guys would just get together and talk martial arts right i was right we didn't drink we didn't do anything we went to like a kung fu movie and then we were we all jerked off at the movie wow wow and then we'd take like we'd stop and eat like something china town at least we did that we had young balls we go to like a chinese place it's so like those bruce lee shirts right and then we take a bus home that's what we did on saturday when i was with my friends on saturday from north bergen fuck you we got a burly we went to the fucking chink store we ate pork fried rice then we go up to fucking the college club and get a ten dollar bag of angel dust and we'd snort it and take a bus into the city and go to 42nd street need a fucking gyro at hell in aramides

fucking fathers place and then we fucking go fuck it let's walk up broadway and play three card monty and we played three card monty and then somebody would have a joint and we'd smoke another fucking joint we'd walk all the way up to like the fifties and then take a fucking hate train up to harland and walk around there and we could be people on the streets guys going come on in see nude women and we'd go in there and sit down and all of a sudden the black chick would sit next to you and show you your titties and then she'd go you want to see more you got to buy me a bottle of champagne and you go give the woman a bottle of champagne they come back and go 80 bucks and you go 80 dollars i only got 650 get the fuck out of here and they would throw you back on

broadway and all this is going on when you're on fucking angel dust okay all this is going on you're dealing with black people how old are you 13 14 we're in the fucking city six or seven deep me can you believe he's still alive me call those parents down the special fucking gets fucked up we wouldn't even know who the fuck we were till we got the port authority on 1783 now what would you rather do spend an afternoon with us doing angel dust when you're 13 or spend an afternoon with bruce lee and his cousins fucking doping around talking about karate tournament on next week the answer now or when i was 13 when i was 13 the answer now is i would i would have stuck it out with those fucking geeks i would have been a complete different person on the other way the

answer when i was 13 would have been the karate guys that fucking sounds walking on on angel dust oh my god and going to fucking spots and probably never even heard of angel dust and why not lead taking us to the to the because i went to the 1040 club with the other ones but one Ali used to go to a different place where they fucking wash your dick and then wash your dick in a little tub like under the bed and then put a condom on you and you fucking old beat up woman for 10 bucks for 1250 she let you lick a pussy and shit one Ali and his brother alberto were the kings of that they worked at their dad shoe store he gave him like a check for 50 and they looked at that check and said for $12 that's four fucking ladies in one day okay and they'd go to the city and go to

four different hooker houses for 1250 a piece and fuck different hookers i didn't hang out with those guys but i'm just saying was there a lot of this in ryan new york these kids are nice white kids i don't bother nobody if i grew up in connecticut though okay yeah i was born in uh portchester and ryan but that's that's that was fucking nuts so right away i'm like wait a second so i would still keep my relationship with these little geeks at the karate school yeah instead of hanging out with them or four saturdays i would hang out with them two saturdays you know right right no angel lust no ain't we gonna like a tournament in the Bronx and they'd break down this fighter like let's go see this guy john buddys he's a fucking black belt and we go watch

john budd fight and wow look at the way he throws the kick then we go back to like uh one of the kids apartments and we do the move oh yeah that we watch john budd doing a tournament for 80 times till two in the morning till somebody's parent was like don't you guys have a fucking home get the fuck out of my house it's 1130 you guys are throwing sidekicks in my living room that's the geeks that these guys were they didn't even drink like i remember going you guys want to get a bottle like strawberry uh boons fun oh no no no i thought i couldn't take another one i want to get some pussy i want to get my dick suck what do you think would have turned out like without weed like i'm when you said that i couldn't even imagine you like a nerd let me tell you something man

the last thing i was ever gonna do was drugs when i hung out with those karate kids i ever ever i saw my mom snort and blow i saw them smoking pot i did not like alcohol as a kid till his day i don't like fucking alcohol i don't like even being around drunk people that's why when i get off stage i go to fuck home because i don't like it i didn't like it when i was fucking five right i really don't get alcohol but when i was seven and eight i really hated drugs i was growing a fucking plant one day that i loved this plant it was a school project in the first grade and when that woke up and the plant was gone my mother and the Puerto Rican baby said i took the plant doc as it resembled marijuana and they rolled it up and tried to smoke it i'm like are you

fucking crazy so my mom had to take me to a plant store and get a plant i got an a but that's not the moral of the story the moral of the story is they stole my fucking pot plant they stole my plant because did she say that to you or she's like yeah we write to my fucking face my mom didn't lie to me she told me right to my face it wasn't a pot plant at all no they just thought it was a pot plant you know so right away i hated fucking drugs i always hated drugs i hated it i go to that fucking like i said the other night when i go to the bruce lee movies yeah and i go to the bar what would i i told you i said i didn't know what i was gonna walk into i could walk into an argument or i could walk into a bar with 20 adults who all have rings around their nose talking and i could

tell and i look at my mother and i'd see her hand moving i'm like these motherfuckers are doing blow and i go in the back and watch a something in those days there was no vcr direct tv television shut off at one at one o'clock once the national anthem came on good night there was nothing you could fucking go in between channels there was nothing that sucks sucks yeah how would my life have turned out i don't know but i still dread that day february 19th how do you remember it was february 19th because it was a karate tournament okay it was a karate no it was a february tournament and that september i said you know what i'm gonna do i was playing football guys i quit playing football my freshman year and then my sophomore year i got a lung infection

from the paracord from the paracord i was still going to karate it was the summers so in those days i would go to the morning class and get it over with okay i play basketball in the morning ride my bike with the gi and the bicycle in the tenth speed this is 10 miles dog go down there do the 10 o'clock class 1130 class whatever it was you had some dedication we hung because i knew that the karate was going to help my basketball right we did a lot of horse dances and that's what basketball is and defense is a horse dance right so in those days oh here comes geek joey here comes geek comes white belt to geek joey not only was i geek but i was also the whitest kid in america at that time i used to chess sit on the walls for hours guys i could do

hours yes just to build a stamina i would do it to a whole side of an album wow so he told me to do it to like a whole side of an album and then get up and walk for three minutes and then do it again i took a i used to write colleges basketball colleges yeah if i like the college basketball coach in that day i would write a coach and say give me your workout that you train oh your college basketball players and every college coach in the division one ranks had a standard copied worker and they would send him to me wow and bill foster from duke said that half my uh in the preseason practices like before the season right where am i i gotta get their legs ready for the 44 minute games right so at the end of practice he would sit sit him on

the wall you know what that is when you say yeah and just sit and fucking next to the legs are burning oh yeah i already had the experience from the horse stance yeah yeah because fucko ranata raland's father super black would fucking make us do yeah yeah horse dances sit there right dog the whole class today we're not gonna do nothing you ready horse dance oh that was it yeah okay nobody move nobody move what's the longest you've ever sat in that do you know horse dance look the guys this is when you're fucking 10 and eight yeah i can't you want me to lie to you 30 minutes maybe that's a long I used to do the wall ones album aside right that's a long time like the beach boys then your league legs start shaking

and you start sweating breathe breathing breathing breathing breathing breathing breathing breathing yeah that's rough your ankles hurt and your knees hurt and yeah didn't matter and i had a 10 speed the next day to work it out right up that fucking north bergen hill right Jesus but that we you know i blame part of my work that work ethic on my mother the other work ethic what i the situation i got put into at my early age but the other part of that work ethic i blame on the martial arts because it wasn't learning how to fight that i wanted to do there was a time when i got a passion for forms right which is a complete different world when you have a passion for forms you're going to end up being a comedian you're going to end up being something creative

because all the form is is your expression that was the biggest trophy i ever won i won first place in the tournament with like white or yellow belt forms oh really yeah it was it was like how old were you first grade oh all right they i was so small they picked me up to weigh me take a green bell form do me a favor get a green bell form uh-huh and next time me and leah and then let's open the class i still kind of remember every day well i leave bam bam yeah bam i was a basic turn yeah maybe a front kick in there you do 10 forms a day 10 seven five days a week that's it yeah they're great exercise oh well well they don't do nothing in the street listen it's not about the street it's not it's about you know how okay homework geek joey geek joey coming i used to tie

a string from the cabinets in the garage to the garage door and i used to do the walks down the middle yeah with the string on my head jesus okay that was how crazy joey was and then as as the tournament guy i remember how it was as close as we got to the tournament i lower the string right no i would lower my head oh and then lower the string okay geek joey that's why do you have to be lower because your form you want your you want your you want your forms your hips to be perfect and your knee and your hamstring and your your hip like they look in those days those judges looked at everything yeah how your leg hanged if you're you didn't point like that first we learned just to throw the punch but then they wanted you to aim and show the punch all those little things were

points yeah so once you get into that form sometimes i go on stage and i think about a form i think i look at it as a form that's the easiest way i'm gonna remember my material i'm sorry i just admitted that yeah that's good it works though yeah if i don't look at my material as a form i will not remember it right right but that doesn't mean you're not in in the moment it just means that's how you remember the set yeah the nice thing about a form too you can do it any way you want to do it you can do a hard one you can do a soft one a long one a high one you know you can do it until you're 80 yeah do it by yourself you can do it in a little tiny room you know that's the difference that's the nice thing about a form we used to have to move the living room uh coffee table

and when my mom was making dinner my brother and i would have to practice our forms every day yeah yeah but you just need a little space like this and you can you know hotel room you can do your form in a hotel room you know yeah forms are great actually i'm not the best at them you know i'm not i'm not very good but i uh you know i do enjoy doing them you know who's really good at people do forms who people have the patience to do it yeah listen yeah let me tell you you have no idea what it's like to do 20 forms you have no and that's what norlander was the king of norland on the saturday it was form saturday you know form saturday was all class same form right we're gonna do it 10 times and then we're gonna break it into pieces what the form means why his hands are low

he's blocking a low kick throw that kick he would do that into sequences and then guess what another 10 times and this time we're gonna drop an inch on everybody so your legs and then sometimes he'd stop stop right in that position stay there two minutes breathe think about what that position is right the opponent's gonna shift on you now yeah you're gonna turn your head to the left it was beautiful oh yeah and i've never heard about it like that that's really cool oh my god but you know what by the six remember we did kettlebells the other day and when that motherfucker said okay we're gonna go 10 for 10 now in 10 minutes everybody goes i don't think so like i kept telling leah who's a yogi steve outlier strength yeah i was gonna do five in my mind like i'll do five i'm tapping

out but then we all got into such an energy that if i would have been alone if we would have been alone all of us would have gone five is good but yeah yeah your energy my energy oh you feel forms are great by yourself but when four of us are all doing them together oh yeah we all look and all our heads went like this at the same time you ever been in a room and there are 50 of you that's it man the energy doing a form oh yeah you get 50 people in a room doing the same form you'll get that key eye together it's it's a great feeling it really is yeah forms are great they really are you know when i take a private down at down at vmack with titurio that guy i mean you know he wins he wins in the world he does his katas his katas are really crisp and it's because like what

you said he does them over and over and over and over and over and over and over again what's life about when i yeah it's what's life over and over and over and over how many discussions that we had he'll leave what is life about it's the same thing going back doing the same thing over and over that's where martial art comes in again that's it that's the guy who goes to the basement ten o'clock and goes i'm not going upstairs for nine thirty keep on bam bam never mind in those days we didn't have cameras it wasn't like we thought about putting the camera right those are the sickest motherfuckers that was in 94 yeah him boulder white boy magoo he'd have four cameras right and then at night he studies himself yeah and then you come back and get pizza right and he

go you see right there put that and i wasn't even competing and torn now i was i was doing so he record himself every day and then watch the class yeah yeah yeah the class yeah lee get to the middle do uh it'll sue chic number one two three and do bokak buta one okay boom and he taped you from two angles you get one of the red belts right from the other angle and then that night you come back after dinner this is how crazy this white boy was he was filthy rich it helps he called me a few years ago he got my number he congratulated me i go what's going on he goes i sold the school he he had a little school then he bought a bigger school and then mma came and the school like there's the biggest anime in boulder is his old school wow he sold it made some money he went back to doing blow and

ask him he told me he was on probation for some i asked him if he still practiced he goes i haven't thrown a kick in like eight years since i sold the school and i really and that's what my point is about all this it kept me together yeah so that's september when i had the lung infection i couldn't play basketball like i had to come to terms and go i'm five foot ten it's not gonna happen i'm cuban i'm not i'm i'm fast but i'm not quick right right big fucking difference when you shoot noops oh yeah i had nothing lee and now all i had was kevin norlander and i went and i went and i went to a couple tournaments with him with the fucking geeks right i took a first i believe it take a first in fighting or i take a first in uh in forms yeah and i think about it now and then in january i went to

two competitions where i ate dick in forms and i got disqualified for contact oh two tournaments i went i kicked above the head it happens and you know why because i wanted to fuck at that time i hadn't fucked yet and that was the big thing in the neighborhood to fuck somebody and i was frustrated and i just wanted to fuck and i was hoping if i kicked this guy real hard in the fucking head some chick little chinese chick with a g would suck my dick i was frustrated i don't think i've ever kicked anybody in the head oh my god all my kicks are always in range i didn't hurt nobody i didn't i don't know i'm just saying i'm just saying i'm also short it was in those days let me tell you how safe they were if you didn't wear the knee things down the arms in those days it was just

rubber stuff they sold that i didn't like at all it was too sweaty it stunk and they it was the beginning of the that's type of protection it wasn't really gloves it was a a pad for everything but in those days they were so safe the helmet on and everything yeah in those days it was so safe at the kids tournaments that even if you kicked above the throat level seven inches if the guy went like that disqualification oh so i got disqualified twice and i said you know what i'm gonna he kept saying there's that cherry hill open there's the cherry hill open you know whatever the fuck it was it was like an owl from my house right you know what i'm gonna do tell you what i'm gonna do and i told myself this in my head i said tell you what i'm gonna do on

my 15th birthday i'm gonna go down that tournament i'm gonna take first place in form i'm gonna take first place in fighting that's it i'm not fucking around with these motherfuckers no more damn and guess what i'm doing after that bang it quit oh you're quit oh so you're gonna go out on the top go out on the top yeah tournament started at 10 in the morning i wake up i'm 15 years old my mom and my stepdad had split my mom had lost the bar the house wasn't doing too well i wake up my 15th birthday i look outside there's a foot and a half of snow my heart is broken i've just trained like a madman running kicking you know doing wind sprints with the track team at north bergen i'm doing everything to get in shape so i can fucking knock these motherfuckers out and go out there's a

thing you couldn't get there he calls me up he goes no we're going i'm gonna come and get you with my truck we're on the bottom of the fucking hill this motherfucker came and got me with 20 kids in a truck 20 fucking spanish white irish in the back of a pickup truck everybody in the back let's go dress warm we drove the hour you know some other parents came listen to this fucking story guys drove the hour went out there boom i got disqualified for fighting but i took first informed by i mean by a long shot like tense everybody tense tense tense tense tense tense boom before he came up to me he's like dog you got to control that foot but i tell you when it comes to that we're gonna pass you but and i didn't even say nothing in my heart i knew

i'm like i'm not fucking going back i'm going to go do drugs with my friends that's it and i get home about two o'clock and my mom's there with some people and they're drinking they're watching like a basketball they're betting something whatever those cubans were betting like that it was the docampo brothers wrapped my house okay and one docampo brother came up to me when i was taking a shower i was going to the movies in jersey city to see some this is how good my memory is i was gonna walk up that hill and take the number one bus to jersey city with my friends and he came upstairs and he goes listen i didn't bring by anything for your birthday what number you want to play on your birthday

and it was maybe i don't know two right and i go my birthday 219 he goes i'm gonna put ten dollars on 219 for you i fucking got my boots on i walked out that door walked took the bus when i come in there was 10 cubans in my living room hammered my mom was crying she goes you motherfucker you hit the number how much how would you ten dollars five thousand dollars wow i said i'm never going back to karate i got i got five thousand i had to tip him five hundred what what are you gonna do though that's the way the cubans do you're gonna tip the book five you told me that your mom my mom my mom was a tipper what did you say i knew the way she played my mom always believed that whatever you gave me i have to give half away to have good karma so god gave me this amount

this is a great amount yeah yeah we could eat for weeks but you know what maybe john buddy you could eat for two more weeks boom boom so when i got back i had to give our not all nickel i had to give his brother 200 just because he was sitting in the room oh trust me league i'm a cuban jew i'm burning inside and guess what and mommy wanted something so i had to give her 15 off the top so i ended up with whatever ended up and my mom told me you gotta go to the hub tomorrow on 30th in bergenland and put in the bank that's your money for school next year and i was like okay i'm gonna put two g's in the bank i'm taking a nick i'm buying a quarter pound of reef and that became jungle joey's career into the murky waters of the underworld i bought a quarter pound of pot

from one of my good friends on facebook he became a cop years later it was four ounces for 200 bucks so i got an ounce of 50 bucks and i would sell it for 100 right you think you're dealing with dog and then i financed my mescaline business and that financed my whatever but listen to me it was all downhill and i'm lying to you guys it was all downhill after that i got the lung infection i went to the hospital my mother got sick and then she died and there was no coming back until this day it was the whammy put in that fucking martial arts tournament somebody put a whammy on me oh what i'm just teasing it but my point is that my compass fell off when i stopped going to that martial art after that fucking day my and that was my freshman year that was my freshman year

in high school i was turning 15 it makes sense because that sophomore year was when i got i couldn't play basketball i couldn't play football because i started spitting up blood and i had the lung infection two months later my mother died martial arts was the farthest thing from my right right i never got martial arts again from that day i was 15 when did it when did you go back to martial arts do you remember 1994 okay i was 31 years old okay and i joined uh suba dough okay okay one dough and i stuck it out with him for about a year 14 months and then did you find in that time when you went back when you were 31 did your things in your life get better at that point stand-up got superb okay okay my everyday life was better i was still a fucking coke fiend okay okay

and i had a bad temper at the time i was going through a heavy-duty divorce but that class leveled you out a little bit whenever i always know that at that age i already knew that when you feel bad if you go home it's just gonna get worse you're gonna think about in the walls and the home closing down right so i would just go to his class okay it was $50 unlimited for the month right and he was such a fucking karate dude you go there burn it out seven like i said in the beginning i'm not kidding you by himself no one said everybody he had there he had when i joined that school it was in a fucking ballerina studio where there was a pole so all he worked on was kicking one two boom one and that's all he did for an hour was just pick up your leg keep it there

keep it there this is also a block okay he's getting close he's in your range boom explode and that's what we did and then he goes i bought a fucking building he goes i took my $2.5 billion but i'm gonna turn into a karate world dog everything was state-of-the-art the weights the punching bag the mats they were fucking all taekwondo i mean he went yeah you know that's why when he sold it he got top dollar for it so i got enamored i got fuck i fell in love with it again that was my outlet i'd smoke and he smoked okay so a lot of times you could go there and go come on let's go outside and smoke and then he teach his stone right right i stuck it out with him and then i never did it again and i went to seattle and there was a subacto they have a web page

okay and i remember going on the web page and i called around they were Diaz's in fact up in seattle they're Diaz's that teach the subacto and i'm not going there and then when i came to hollywood i moved to sunset and uh vista okay okay and one day i'm walking on sunset and there's a mudakwan subacto school on sunset right right i remember this it's still there it's still there he still teaches that yeah but at this time the guy who has it now was an assistant instructor not getting paid at all teaching all the classes the guy was this guy that went nuts he bought into it some movie went to him for some casting thing and he went nuts when i joined one day the first thing he gives you is a dvd of him with some production company he spent millions on him

walking down the streets of sunset and he gets attacked by black guys and he takes them down with the subacto he gets attacked by yum yum eat them up so i mean the guy was just in love with himself you had never seen this i was in but i'll tell you what i saw something that was very embarrassing one day one day i was just walking by and i saw him in there and i saw both the black belts in the office and as i walked by i could tell that they were having a serious combat right and he was yelling at his black belts the students were there the white the kids were there yeah and the parents on the hallway and he was berating him everybody fucking pays i'm not running a fucking charity over here if they're not in by the fifth fuck them they cannot

train and some of the parents there were russian you know they're kind of broke they're getting it together right i didn't like him well he sold the school he took the two million or whatever the production company gave him and went to philly and built his huge taekwondo world but guess what happened the UFC came in and everybody wanted to learn jujitsu yeah and he fucking fell apart his wife left him done so this guy has the school so i trained in there i was in there till i was a green belt 400 pounds 400 pounds i would go twice a week reeking of cigarettes and reefer reeking the little kids would even come up to me go ew you smell night you had joe rogan used to drive by and go in there at night and sit there and watch me do

taekwondo and shake his fucking head and he'd go i'm just happy you're doing something yeah fucking 400 pounds yeah and i would go in and throw sidekicks and i'd see people walking by like saturday mornings like with travelers on sunset walking by and they'd see the karate and they'd see this 400 pound guy throwing kicks me and they'd all put their hands on the glass and go look at that fucking guy look at that fat guy and wait with were there kids in the class too i loved the kids in the class i was good friends with the girls i was really great there because i knew i loved it i just loved it i bowed i did everything but there was times i walked in and the kids were telling me man you smell like cigarettes and all i would do there

i would basically go there park my car and have the money ready in my bag so when i got out of there i would go to el compadre and buy grandma blood it was all part of my midnight little journey martial arts was all a midnight little journey at least you got the workout in yeah and then i would go to the the morning classes he only had like one or two morning classes at that time this was when when did you this is 2001 oh okay okay i'm 400 pounds so pretty recent yeah i'm 400 fucking pounds okay so 94 i'm in martial arts 95 i stopped for five years all i did was gain fucking weight i'm moving with my fucking wife and i go from 320 to 370 to about 395 i'm walking around at 395 and one day i'm at broadway shoes on sunset and i do this in there

i'll yoke russian dude i'm not talking yoke steroids i'm talking yoke this guy's been doing delis for a long time leather jacket we get to talking i teach a medican jujitsu okay what do you teach american jujitsu sunset in highland who was this who was it bro it was 120 a month or twice a week after the first time i wanted my money back i wanted my 120 back 100 for the gi it was american jujitsu okay you opened up the class with 100 rolls 100 back rolls you know side you know all those right tap and let me tell you something i lost weight oh yeah i lost 20 pounds in two weeks twice a week my ankles lost weight he got just getting down getting thrown and getting up that makes you lose weight just falling and getting up makes

you lose fucking 25 fucking pounds it was amazing but dog it was those guys were killers yeah then he bumped into me once i said this i can't come he don't want 400 pounds right and 120 i'm starting to blow i gotta give you 120 you know what i'm saying every time i want to pack is i want to come and get my 60 back oh my god i can't do it no more one day i saw him and he just embarrassed me he just ripped me apart he was like i moved to molly with too many flakes like you you don't want to come to my school i go dog i'm 400 fucking pounds and you got me doing backflips when i signed with you you said you were gonna work with me and teach me how to fall you know i got killers i got guy that there was a lot of like hollywood actors that went there yeah and they really believe

that you know that jujitsu and i put them to work you know i throw them fucking too but they throw you too man it was hard it was fucking hardly and i whatever i was i was 15 years ago and this class was hard it was everybody was always hurt their wrists were falling and one day i was like i'm like i can't do this no more and i went back to and that's when i joined fuck stick after that i went uh from there i went to taekwondo back in sunset okay and i stuck it out with him and he told me something i really like nijia that's his name christ christ nijia is a great fucking guy christ nijia walked in that place as a white belt right right that's like walking into vmack as a white belt in 20 years now you own the place yeah and now you're teaching what the guy

taught you you still kept to the neighborhood school right his prices are a little high but he's on sunset right he's on fucking sunset yeah and he told me once like i used to go and i get coked out and i wouldn't go for a week and one day i saw him and he goes what's going on with you if you're broke you're still family right he goes look at your id card my id card in subakdo yeah it's like i'm old school like my numbers are from 95 so when i go into a school now they're like oh shit you're an old g-jack you have a subakdo id card yeah i'm in that fucking whatever and you have to join the federation all that no all their fees those koreans at the are you still a member yeah oh yeah i got all i had to do is renew my membership and

i can walk into any subakdo school one week one class for free and then the next one i got to pay a class okay if you go why would you remember your uh 60 to renew 80 a year 80 oh yeah yeah those koreans subakdo it became uh like many other martial art things a lot of people opened up schools and they know that the the children keep you alive yeah especially with taekwondo yeah it builds discipline it does this right it does that you go to a daytime class the fucking teacher's not even teaching he's got like a yellow belt teaching 16 kids and they pay with the adults pay right that's very fucking lucrative i mean it's not a bad living what's not that it's lucrative it covers everything else it covers the fighter who comes in and doesn't pay

it covers this guy covers that guy a lot of schools a lot of schools like that that was one place when the original owner had it right that every week you got juiced listen to me every week you got juice on the way out yep you don't have your official patch oh ten dollars it comes from korea gets sent to your house and the federation send them a money on it's got to be on your gear to test for yellow right do you have the yellow belt book what yellow belt book you gotta buy a book in a video if you look at your contract in the federation and then they have the so that guy had to pay the koreans this is a very funny story christin the jeer was paying the koreans guess what ever may came your classes went from 20 to fucking six nobody want to learn type one

dog right right so one day he you know he said listen this is all great and dandy i know you want your two grand off the top well here it is we got six people in here and they said listen that's not our problem you got to give us our two g's to keep suba dog he said i am i'm going to put jujitsu in there grace jujitsu they said we don't want to be involved with brazilians he said then there's no more federation you guys are cut so if you join that school now you don't have to join the federation because they broke away oh i see and the fucking guy remember part of the federation the guy comes once a year i don't know if you've ever anybody who listens has been involved with martial arts but once a year the big korean comes he comes in with his shoes with the whole

get up on right because that's what it is a fucking get up you don't dress like that at home he has shorts on and a shirt with jimmy hendrix on it but also he flies to the states right he walks into a school in burbank there's six homos like i was when i was 13 i had master shinn master shinn master shinn i never got to see anybody oh please they walk in you all have to do a form in front of them you got a bow you eat a little rice he says something in korean you know he's telling you in korean you guys are all sucking my dick this shit don't work this shit don't work i've been fucking building houses this shit don't work suck my dick and you're that bowing the teacher's bowing everybody's all excited bowing this guy don't give a fuck before he leaves the assistant comes over

and goes don't forget the little fucking envelope you guys forget when the korean comes to town it's first class it's hilton it costs you five g's just for this guy to come bow and go like this and i remember falling for that shit one day going this motherfucker don't want to be here we had that you don't want to be here take a picture with the guy that guy's taking a picture he's like what the fuck am i doing with this white fuck we just bombed these fucks 10 years ago now i gotta sit here on the west side of la and bow with this motherfucker that was my first experience when i was in college we had grandmaster shin we bombed these guys 10 years ago yeah we bombed these fucks 10 years ago he wants to be here he's trembling he's like what do i need this

because he's picking up two g's and he's going there he's going to a 10 o'clock or four o'clock in san diego oh yeah he's going to a two o'clock in vegas when those fucking jabs come over they come over heavy they pick up a big fucking envelope from suckers like us meanwhile we think they're magical like that guy on youtube that throws magic tricks at his students and they're flipping there's fucking people that believe that master the chima guess what guess who one of those people was i believe that guy existed i want to cheap powers too i would have gave that guy a doosan of my own fucking kick to hang out with him and fucking do that to people i was a fucking asshole too i'm a sucker guys i'm a sucker for martial arts when i was a kid that the kabudu tanfa i had

every weapon i had the thing that you held and you drew punches to throwing knives and the stars everything and then they'd sell you the stars and they weren't sharpened for an hour but two fucking days you're throwing it against the wall they're sticking you think you're retarded then some friend goes you gotta sharpen them and once you sharpen those motherfuckers it's a different type of body let me get my glasses so i could do some shoutouts all right how much was really that chocolate was it like 500 i think it was so i wouldn't do 500 yes you would have done it multiple times you're my little brother i want to give a do it a shout out to my man jose calazo and camden case ohians constantine rain always in

the game mr mr hungus that's a really new rap constantine turn michael fucking in town this weekend at the store last night he was that went up on stage with triply alex bison rich santa cruz and my girl ronnie if you haven't seen baronique on twitter you might as well sign up for a page right now the bitch is banging with a bikini she's showing big titties it's a party if you get home at three you want to whack off it's the best you got you know what i'm saying sometimes you got to whack off to a chicken a bikini one time i jacked off for a woman in red all they do is show her bush i kept that motherfucker on pause with the line and i banged out a good fucking dick suck in one night myself i don't even know what i'm saying this time to eat another star the lobster roll

guy is coming to the fucking thing okay all right so not causing you to get into this tangsudo in college taekwondo taekwondo do you get a black belt no i got up to red okay then what you do then i went to tangsudo so i went back to connecticut and joined a tangsudo school and that was a good school uh master wangs in strafford connecticut moved to new york and joined master lee's tangsudo and they were affiliated so i got up to right before black belt and then i moved out here so i left that organization i moved out here and then i started taking karate with aviroka yeah here in town you're breathing to the mic speak oh sorry aviroka i could grow up three in the morning speak into the mic avi uh you know now we're still

affiliated with him um and uh he was nishi one in nishiyama students like one of his one of his top students and i used to walk same thing i used to walk to his place and then i was a waiter and i would walk just you know just walking and uh i got up to green belt with avi took like five years off i did nothing and then i i joined another shodokan karate school and got my black belt there where was that that was right down the street actually um it was a different organization that was a trailer yeah it was it was down the street is that guy still there not a bad school she's only there a couple days a week cheap real cheap pretty cheap um it was uh you know it was okay it was a different style of shodokan it was a little bit different after after that then i i

opened up my own school and i started i went back to avi so avi was you know he's just down in pico and dohini but it's such a drag drag so when did you open up your own school uh gone five years ago what school was this valley martial arts center okay no no i'm not trying to quiz you yeah what did you join john jocton when the fuck did john jock come in john jock came in to break it down 2000 in 2000 what made you walk into john jock now you're already studying karate i had studying karate and i had a bad attitude so i got in a little argument with the teacher then and uh and i was a brown belt and we decided i needed to take a month off so i took a month but then that month i started itching i was like well what am i gonna do for a month so i drove up to john jox

with yogi steve actually we drove up there and yogi steve said you're not you're never gonna drive up here what are you gonna drive up here three times a week it's 10 miles away i i got up there i didn't know who john jock was i didn't know what jujitsu was i just needed a workout and i went up there and my first story i mean i was a you know in my head i was a brown belt and i face a brown belt in jujitsu and i'm thinking of my you know i'm smart enough to wear a white belt thank god but i'm facing this brown belt and i'm thinking of myself this poor bastard he doesn't know that i'm a brown belt and i'm gonna i was pretty good in karate at that time i was like i'm gonna wreck this guy and he has he's no idea he thinks a white belt he thinks

i'm a white belt that's never done anything i'm gonna wreck this guy that guy his name was mark armstrong and anybody who's who's rolled with mark armstrong knows that this they call him the shark you know when you roll with mark mark the shark you're getting wrecked okay and this guy he was a brown belt at the time this guy arm barred me in two seconds flat and i hear john jock yell hey john jujitsu is not karate you know and right away i was like holy shit what just happened you know i got i was like thank god i didn't say anything about my brown belt you know thank god i didn't say anything and i faced faced him again and he got me again in like a minute and again you i have a joe rogan story just like that you know then again then i was into i started going back

to john jox and i was into it joe rogan was a purple belt at the time you know he's a big you you know he's a big guy he's a strong guy he's he's a little shorter than i am but he's he's a big guy and uh i rolled with him once he was a purple belt and john jock said okay whoever you're with you're with this guy for seven minutes joe rogan taps me in 20 seconds and i looked at him and i said so i i got six minutes and 40 seconds left with you and he was like he was like you'll do it right and the next time i the next time i lasted a minute then the next time two minutes then then then after that he didn't tap me in that session you know but that guy you know that guy was really good i haven't rolled with him since then it's been a long time but um really a lot of

good experiences then i then i went back to that karate school got my black belt stayed there for like four more years and then i left and then i opened up my own school now i went how did you hook up with chiro with tai chi ro uh i needed i needed a black belt i needed a high level black belt to to help me open the school because i was i'm a showdown i'm a first level black belt i needed a guy who was like you know third fourth degree you know he just got his fifth degree now which is really good for the school but he was a fourth degree black belt and we needed an instruction so he was just helping me and uh an echo at the time and then we just said one day hey you know let's uh let's open it up not just the three of us let's see who else wants to do it and then

we get one guy and then we got another one and then another one and then it just it got bigger well you guys were doing jujitsu in the studio at first yeah yeah but yeah yeah but first we were just we were just renting out space down at madeline clark dance studios rented by the hour and we started with just the adult karate then i said you know maybe i'll try kids you know so then we started renting out a little bit more space i got a couple of kids then you know i became good friends with marcello up at john jox and i said you know maybe we can add jujitsu to it let's try marcello he was he was on board even back then he was a brown belt i was a purple belt and uh we started teaching jujitsu we would put the mats out wash them roll wash them put them away

and madeline clark they were really cool they let us keep the mats there but we had to we had to map matter each time each time but one class a week back then friday night and then you know we got kyle walked in eric medina would stop in um and then zack and pj and even that little guy sean would come in you know we started getting crossover from the karate which i didn't even think was going to happen i didn't even realize oh these guys are interested in more than one martial art so i didn't even foresee that but that's how we got our original students then i started going on craigslist and answering ads and putting stuff on craigslist and um it got bigger and then marcello said yeah we need another day one day a week's not good enough for these guys and finally

we found me tai chiro and aiko found a a school and from there that's when we opened uh valley martial arts center and then once you have your own school you make your own hours and just got bigger and bigger and then we added uh nick papa docus with kali you know we tried yoga for a little while that tanked on us and we tried a a sword a sword thing once and that tanked on us too but that fucking god yeah but no now we have the solid you know the kali is getting better bigger and better um and the jujitsu the jujitsu it's actually taken over that's like the biggest program there now white and then we added kids jujitsu kids why don't you think uh a lot of schools teach us wrestling because even before i started this i looked into it just because i

did it in high school i don't maybe i'll do it just wrestling yeah like i don't know there's wrestling places in the valley i have a friend at a weed store that's a little yoke guy that was going to he's like a purple belt over at uh at gracey okay and he was uh telling me that once a week he would go to a wrestling place okay that he wrestled in high school and he wasn't that good and he walked in there's a place around here that's high level okay i'm not kidding you two or three miles maybe five miles from here that's high level wrestling yeah that you go there in the daytime and they will fuck your world up they have instruction the whole fucking deal really oh yeah they have the whole thing in fact when i was this now i feel bad when i saw colmilla in fort lauderdale suddenly

night he goes word there's a you know at and t is everywhere i would have brought my geek to fort lauderdale because it's a huge jujitsu down there right right but everything i everybody called i called a great school gracey guy staying great guy answered my call he goes is this joey deans we started talking and he goes my class is 25 minutes away blah blah blah and then my aunt was coming saturday so i said you know what i'm not going to bring a geek but then when i got that thursday some guys like dog at and t is down the corner are you kidding me are you fucking kidding me and i fucked up there's a kid there i i'm older than he is right steve maco the wrestler the u m c kid i'm just older than he is yeah but we're the same people we hung out with the same people hung

out with his dad his dad you know all the same motherfuckers and when i asked col i go to steve still there he goes yeah in fact i went to his wrestling class today i wanted to shoot myself steve maco you know went for oklahoma but i you know him just to teach me a take down i don't want to take down i know what you guys taught me yeah i had to single him whatever just to you know it's a little heavy fungal joey when somebody drops you at 300 pounds right right but it's good to know just to know today when i got up and lee took me down tell you what the first thought of me was if i want to do a tournament i have to learn how to do this yeah and now i'm happy lee did this i didn't learn i didn't hold my breath enough good and lee took me down i felt really bad because i

never it was clean it was now i know now i know how he felt how frustrated 20 people were with me joey listen don't come no more if you're not gonna put pressure on my chest people used to throw me lee because i lay half on them like and they like you're gonna lay on me like oh no okay you want me to lay on you do it or don't do it happy for six months i would get killed because of chest i can't pin his arm with my leg yes you can one day i put my leg on somebody's leg i passed their guard and i pinned that leg with my knee and i can heal their whole nerve is central 300 pounds in the middle of your leg when i cross your guard you lose it people will tap if i stay there i'm not a scumbag i could stay there and make believe like i'm looking for something i ain't looking for

none i don't know what to do there i know it's hurting you this motherfucker's like a purple about the higgins i heard him go i can hear a central nervous system breaking down from my i was caught it's 300 on your bone when you're 180 or 190 i felt it too yeah it's on your leg yeah i could feel it that i'm cutting on circulation i do that six minutes you're that stubby dude fucking jiu-jitsu toilet you have uh a very great school i feel very comfortable at your school which i don't feel at a lot of places it's old school martial arts for me i came up now you know why yeah i like valley mac yeah there's a bag there's a wrestling dude his name is charlie with a pink fred fred fred with a pink beyond it's old school you know monday's and friday's day they

have this thing marcello madness it's from eight to eight forty five you're picking up tires is doing jumping jacks oh yeah you're whatever you know what listen if i come to you and i said i can't do it you know i'm a little overweight i'm a lot overweight i'm not the my knees hurt i got a fucked up shoulder you know what i don't want to be a u of c fighter but if you are 32 and younger and you're not doing marcello madness twice a week you're killing yourself to live yeah we can't do it right now because sometimes you do the podcast on monday nights i'll percentage of the time right we do it on monday nights but lee you have to do lee you're halfway there you're doing the whole kettlebell class come on lee lee does the kettlebells now and he's picking up a 60 pound bag on his

shoulder he showed me up last week let me pick up the bag on his shoulder you pick up the bag on your shoulder lee a year ago you couldn't pick up that fucking bag a year ago when we went to the grudge match premiere when fucking salami called me a day later and he goes who was that chinese kid with you and i go lee and he goes that's not lee how much weight did he gain you would have not been able to pick up that fucking thing you know i think so i know so you would you're doing he's doing good he's doing we would sweat coming up these stairs right i used to come up those stairs a year ago i swear to my mother lee would always when i'd walk here i'd make believe like i had it on the control and lee would go joey you all right i'd be in a different world just from

those back stairs i told him when we moved in oh yeah no no i told him that when he first came to v-max he could you could do two hip escapes right two three hip escapes he turned purple and on the inside i was thinking oh my god is this guy gonna have a heart attack on me right right here on my floor listen i i used to worry you know listen though now across the floor all the way today was the first time in a long time i went across the yeah i didn't take sure i'm out of shroom tech but one time i took shroom tech and after i rolled a little bit i was doing those hip escapes like i own that motherfucker like an ice skater i was skating the crawl he said the fat do that and it's listen you go home every time i would do one more hip escape to me that meant

the world of course that meant the world you don't understand that like you said today the grandmaster says what's your jitsu about hip escapes you can't do enough hip escapes if there's nobody around and you got nothing to do and there's a sidewalk and you got a hard ass anyway your minds will start hip escaping because you will lose more why fuck around that's it that's it you know everybody's looking for the next level to lose weight listen you do 30 minutes of hip escapes at the ymca and come see me and then get on the bicycle for 30 minutes oh yeah and come see me the first six minutes of hip escapes you'll know your head will never spin like that before you will doubt your manhood oh your abs and you you don't oh and no no no no and listen i has to be

honest let's be honest the first year i was not doing a hip escape i was doing a seal tight like a drag you know what those seals do dragging your ass i broke my toes twice okay that's how fucked up i'm not here to lie to nobody i got the guy who watched me they watched me and they wouldn't laugh until i left then they go to just see him till they don't know what the fuck we're gonna do with him that's not we gotta have a stretcher in the back here this is fucked up i goes here with acupuncture needles and dogs and shit i remember we didn't laugh no no no it's just listen man i remember being there and a guy bigger than me came in one day and we were trying that they would it was a day title class and they were teaching me how to take somebody's back

and we were both so fat that our legs didn't wrap around each other it was like a fucking not even to get the hooks in this kid came one day bought a gi and tapped the next day i go i went to him and i go oh my god i'm so happy a big guy finally joined and you go oh no he emailed me last night he quit already but you know what i think you know you might be talking about justin and for what i heard you know he's a nice he's a nice kid the kid with the big kid with the blonde hair is that who was no no no somebody else okay this was a kid who came in one time there was a daytime class in v-max for a year yeah was a fucking it was zack and another couple guys that were really serious right then they were like three guys okay that just went there there was one guy

that were walking with the gi take his shoes off with a blue gi he was a security guard and he got on the thing i don't know i remember he'd do two or three things and then leave that was it get up no goodbye no thank you no see you next week guys just get up and he put his and you just see him nothing he just leaves and he put like if it was raining out he put a hat on in the scarf with his gi you'd see him walking on burbank to the car there was a oh my god the day there was like oh that must have been reggie there was a guy it was a Spanish guy it was a fucking zoo in a daytime was reggie the guy with the headphones on i don't know it wasn't okay it was like two or three guys that weren't okay this big guy came in and i'll never forget we were

both so fat that we guys i know i know we got we got we got five minutes here five minutes listen thank you for coming in i love i love you yeah it was fun i really respect you with all my heart as a martial artist you really get it you know i came to an idea and and you know we're doing great things with a kettlebell yeah yeah this is what we do we you love yogi steve right i dude i love that guy i almost quit jiu jitsu i liked it so much i was like what am i doing that i was like i'm not i would love to but yeah yeah but now i know now i love both yeah yeah oh no no no no like a while no like a while ago like but now yearly you're gonna go to jiu jitsu four days a week i'm gonna have to hold you and go are you fucking retarded you're gonna be telling me how

you're going to street sports to do a seminar on leg locks yeah that the guy told you that even if you have little legs you could still i can't wait for you to drive me crazy for me to go dog i don't want to hear about no more and i'm fucking 80 i can't do anything more so you can hang it you know you started you started off this today like i don't i have no friends to talk to and all that come come more yeah you know get those get those comrades going you know yeah yeah i'll listen to you but no but but i like i was gonna say i i've started to like jiu jitsu after we've been doing this morning class a lot good and it's honestly a lot because of you you're a great teacher like i've had a bunch of teachers and they've all been good at different things but it's

it's really cool like it's it's cool any vibe with one i like i like it so you know i really like teachings it's great we've got a couple old guys we've got harry yeah they comes in he's a blue belt and it's just a light workout in the morning as we come out of that nice and sweaty you go home feeling good about yourself that's it we always learn some you always review something yep you always get taught something and you know like i said now tuesdays i'm gonna build my cardio up i'm gonna go to kettlebell relax stretch and start to warm up for the sun start going to hasan's class if i make it to 115 i'm gonna get to 115 but next week i'm gonna make it to 118 yeah yeah and the week after that i'm gonna make the whole class i'm gonna roll

twice yeah and next thing you know on tuesdays you're doing a fucking workout yeah that people pray they could do right if you don't have a lot of time on tuesdays i've never been to marcello madness hasan has a pretty intense start it is it is it yeah yeah yeah you go back you it's okay it's okay you'll just do the best you can i know you gotta go what yeah he does he does go to v mag dot com correct valley max valley mag dot com i got it here complete schedule they have the jitsu schedule the teachers everybody everything the kid classes the the stick fighting they have nine to ten thirty on sundays they have yeah ill jitsu literally have the mini kicks a little mini kids really hilarious you know you're doing jiu-jitsu and then mercy's gotta come eventually right she's gonna come mercy's

definitely gonna come okay mercy's gonna mercy likes when i tackle her i'm already getting ready to take a little stuff and yeah v mac is big so they could run the first couple of cones out they run you put your McGee now sensei nick is he's great with my daughter yeah listen i don't know what she wants to do let her come in and try that's it but what i want is for her to pick one something sure sure she comes to me when they says you know what i like mr but i like uncle john that's right i i i want to do more kicks like one though yeah yeah i want to go dancing you got to let her try whatever the fuck no pole dancing i'll fucking bust your head right now fucking hurry you understand me can't suck it no pole dancing till i died and you do it the

fuck you want but while i'm alive listen man yeah i love the ronda rousey movement i love the woman's jiu-jitsu movement the ebi thing with uh grace gunjum a 12 year old uh jiu-jitsu phenom all those little 10 planet girls when i first watched it yes i got emotional i was excited right i was more excited because this means that my daughter i don't have to worry right those little girls are not strong so they work off technique pure technique with sometimes you all know you know pam had me me passed out on my floor you know she choked me out 100 you know and uh you know she's half my weight so yeah let's not judge you know women at all no and i love i could sleep at night yeah i know and i tell leo the time we giggle about it but in 10 years it's gonna be a

every rapist is gonna have a busted elbow that's how they're gonna get rapist you almost had my pants off but i busted his elbow cops are gonna come you got a big coconut on your elbow too bad for him where were you i was at the circus no you weren't you tried to rape a little black girl and i could shim your fuck that's right i love you john bubba you too joey thank you for all your help thank you thank you leigh let me let's give a little fucking shout out to the sponsors here like i said vmac that has seven days a week bang out on i think saturday they even have a few class sure i think they even teach a class from 11 to 12 how to become a magician i got everything you understand they don't fuck around we're doing kettle bells jiu-jitsu karate karate why we're talking about

karate a lot of people go work out you go to the gym you're single you know we got a lot of guys that listen to this i'm a lot of single girls you come home you're bored the last thing anybody wants to do is fucking wait online at a grocery store or shut home and fucking cook some complicated meal expensive unhealthy takeout is hardly better that's where new service comes in blue apron tremendous they deliver farm fresh ingredient ingredients step by step recipes to your home allowing you to create healthy handcrafted meals at home without going to the grocery store for less than 10 bucks a meal blue apron sends you fresh ingredients perfectly proportion making cooking healthy meals easy and fun no trips to the grocery store no waste of unused ingredients plus guess what else

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are slipping away from me that'll end it when i got my first shipment of me undies okay because listen we all know how sexy confidence can be confidence comes from being comfortable how great do you feel when you when your when your underwear is not wrinkling and riding up your little whatever me undies gets it and that's why they've created the world's most what are you guys laughing about the world's most comfortable underwear for a daily dose of confidence you wear underwear every day correct that's 365 a year rain is shine you need to be extraordinary what i'm there without a big price tag that's where me undies comes in they understand that they've created the most comfortable underwear period that's all i wear to jujitsu is me undies you know why because they're made from

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look at the great selection of nutrients they have supplements even the kettle bells i can't hook you up on the kettle bells but the nutrients i'll get you 10 off go to honor and press church and get 10 off right now from your first order and it gets delivered right to your door right i love you at john budd i love you if you're thinking if you live in the valley tarzana and seno where the fuck you live you're thinking of starting jujitsu and hollywood north where the fuck you live go to v-max you get a free class for free just walk on it just go listen whatever i want to come in i want to do a free class i want people to throw me around and they'll take care of you they got karate they got jujitsu program your kid he's half a

fucking momo take him down there don't straighten them out i'll throw his fucking ass out of that let's say he can't eat peanut butter we'll straighten them out it'll be eating peanut butter buddy end of the year japanese people don't give a fuck about peanut butter you'll be jumping up and down scratching your kid anyway i love you cock suckers i'm in helium next week in portland and the week after that new jersey i'm telling you right now the stress factory november 12 through the 15th and i'm in helium 11-5 through 11-7 i love you guys thank you john budd we saw you at don't forget about flying ju radio downloading like a motherfucker numbers are growing with the flying ju he had porno people on there he had john jeno on there he's always got some freaks on whatever

his fucking name is i love you cock suckers stay black this show is brought to you by me andy's i'm sorry get up by me on these go to me on these dot com slash joey to get 20 percent off your first order and with free shipping in the united states and canada you get 20 off their great men's and women's underwear shirts and socks and all the rare products this show is also brought to you by blue apron leave with some enthusiasm until i'm dry i'm on cock sucker like they're gonna give you a 20 at the end of the show right there go out and then make a make a quick left and then make quick right it's immense you know what you this show is brought to you by blue apron blue apron sends gourmet recipes and all the fresh ingredients you need to make them right to your door and our

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like nothing seems to break me no matter how far I fall you think you break me at all and they will forgive me no them nothing is rooms

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I'll wouldn't worry about you Travel by no means one Throwing each other here and there Wish you knew I'd been overcome Broke the outside Broke the outside Broke the outside Broke the outside

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