Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #332 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt

Episode Date: November 10, 2015

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:  Texture. Go To texture.com/joey to get a free trial for the Texture App. The Texture App gives the use access to hundreds of magazines.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for five Hit E Cig's for $50   Naileditlife.com - Get 20% off a vapor pen by using code word joeydiaz. They are also produce some of the best edibles on the market, Los Gummies Hermanos   Recorded live on 11/09/2015.
   Music:  Love Is The Deug - Roxy Music I Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet BadMotorFinger - Soundgarden  

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E6 for $50 and Go to nailed it life comm and use code word joey Diaz to get 20% off the premier vapor print on the market And if you live in California, they're also the makers of great edibles Los Gumi sermanos Oh shit Monday November 9th the day the devil was buried his seat raped lit on fire fucked in the ad Chlamydia oh shit a little Roxy music for you motherfucker's old school here What? Oh shit

The church what's happening now Lisa at flavor old school like this motherfucker Are you fucking kidding me this motherfucker Oh Fucking tremendous. What is Lisa at you bad motherfucker good to see you. It's been a while I know I haven't seen you since last week and shit, you know, we've been seclusion Which Portland I tell you I used to go to Portland 1995 when I worked used to work at club Harvest, which is still there But Harvest is a very clean room, you know helium is 2015, you know

Do it were you clean when you had to work at Harvest? Oh my god I tried but the guy's mother came on Saturday night for the early. Oh, it's that place. Oh, she fucking hated me Harvey's was I've been in those days. I don't know. I remember the Portland It's just being dark. I had a lot of strip clubs. I Got blow a few times, you know, I went out. It was okay But okay, it wasn't the real deal like it wasn't like a a city that would visit or something now Fucking now It's they've done great things and the people are fucking dynamite. I went to a few weed stores Parma

Farmer great fucking weed store. I got some CBD's. So is it legal there? It's legal What is it like you just walk and give me a license and go to the back jack edibles aren't legal yet from what I'm hearing But everything else is pretty straight, you know, we always if you're a comic or a fan of comedy Oh, you listen to Rogan's podcast Whenever I go on it in my comedy, whatever the club was the city was Houston You know in the 90s when I was developing your class the fun city I had a lot of fun cities But the ideal one the comedy scene where you went you had to have your a game

It was Houston, Texas and what years was this like night really 97 to 2000 For the Houston comedy scene was really hot You gotta imagine that you know 10 15 years before that Kenison and Hicks and Carla bow and all those guys were walking around down there at the I thought I forgot the name of the club, but it was the last stop when we were down there. So what? When you since you've been doing comedy what are the bigger markets like so it was in Houston for part What is it now or Houston just became a hip place to do comedy? Mark Babbit made that room when when Mitch Hedberg and Tom Rhodes co-headlined in 97

That set a statement up that was like a tremendous fucking statement like 98 I think they Tom Rhodes had been on a ABC show NBC show and the show got canceled But he was still a very funny guy. He still is a fucking funny guy And nobody was booking him it seemed like he was in limbo and Mitch was friends with him It said was friends with him from Florida or something Mitch goes, why don't you fucking? Go headline with me and get back out there and that caused this fucking thing You know he was already bringing in Dana Gould and acts like that and all of a sudden He started bringing a rogue and in stand-hope and all those guys taped their CDs down there

And it just became this cool. You know the Monday night at the last stop was from 8 to 2 That's unheard of there was that many fucking open my comics doing seven ten eight minutes ten minutes And didn't you say that sometimes as a headliner you'd stay for that show? Yeah, you'd stay on Sunday you stay for Monday afternoon and partied and because chewy's it was a special chewy's the Mexican place it was Stuffed shells chicken and sour and Chicken and sour cream enchiladas. Oh nice. So we would just stay eat that and that fucking do the open mic on Monday nights Portland has become that The last three or four times. I've gone to Portland. I see the comedy scenes growing Ron

Frontiers is from Portland. Yeah, there's another kid. That's from Portland, Oregon And that's what that's all I've heard for years is how great Portland is a city is so I'm just surprised to hear that You didn't have a good time there before but what it was what I'm saying to you all these cities Developed you know over the years they developed that they become you know that they become very gentrified You see all the same malls and stuff like that, right? I used to go to your D the store of the That was the Nike store. That was what I went to Portland for every time really the Nike store was off the chain downtown What would it have just it just didn't it had everything Nike in 1995? I was a knucklehead 96. I

Was that I wasn't fat yet. I wasn't really fat yet. I was probably 30 years old 30 one or something I was walking around fucking Portland. I would go down there and stay with Floyd J. Phillips who now lives in Michigan, he's originally from Michigan. Okay, and he was a comic and when he would leave out of town I'd stay in his house and do Harveys He wasn't kind enough to let me stay there and do Harveys and and you didn't do it that often when you were twice I see I don't living in Seattle I did Harveys twice a year, but there was so many other rooms that some nights I would just stop driving and go to Floyd J. Phillips is in crash

He'd leave me a key Okay, and I sleep on the floor and it was me sleeping there. Josh Wolf slept on that kid's floor Everybody he was the guy to stay with him Portland at the time I've always been kind of a loner sort of person and but do you think it's possible to be a comic and not and Be a loner because I'm just hearing like it would freak me out to have people just staying on my floor But it sounds like you guys did that all across the country It's I'm a loner

For the most part if you gave me a fuck when I was growing up when I was younger I wanted to go to a desert island I wanted to go to a desert island and have 20 thought like a truck full of chicken cutlets. Yeah, we're hot And the cranberry juice that was my dream That was my dream cranberry juice club soda and chicken cutlets and I could live on an island and then back in my mind I didn't think I needed communication I was I was raised an only child So I know I'd have a party in my head. You had reefer. I really don't need to talk to nobody

Right, you know, there's days when I do comedy I won't leave the hotel room like I go eat and I'll go for a walk to 7-eleven or whatever But pretty much the only communication I have is with you or my wife or a friend or an agent or somebody's calling me So this couple hours, I won't say a fucking word in the hotel room. Then I get on that fucking stage I'm a cage. I don't know. That's why I do that. Okay, you know, when you become a comedian, you're making a statement You're making a statement that you want to go on stage by yourself Right there. You're alone right there. You're alone, you know, most people go on stage as part of a band Most people get on stage as part of

An improv troupe. You're alone So right there that tells something about your personality. Yeah, if you're alone when when I first started comedy I was in that car by myself constantly and Then there were situations where you share a ride with a comic Let me tell you something if you don't get along with that fucking guy You guys have different views after two hours that becomes the longest fucking ride of your life I can't even imagine a comic that brings this girl from the fucking car or something like that

That becomes the longest fucking ride of your life now Because it's two men and I gotta have a third fucking wheel Injecting and dissecting and giving her fucking quotes on comedy and trust me when you're a comic and you have three comics in a car And a comic brings his girlfriend and she starts interjecting fucking stupidity all three comics want to kill that motherfucker It's just odd man up. It's like a three female comics where they are one of them brings their boyfriend It's the same fucking thing. So I'm not just picking on women here. I'm saying this just doesn't work So you have two people in the car. They really have to get along Especially for long triple run five days some days eight hour driving you got to be able to like the same music

You both got to be able to smoke cigarettes. You both got to be able to smoke weed You know you not being a smoker me being it's gonna fucking kill you in the car So there's all these little things, you know, so sometimes you just don't get involved, right? Yeah, sometimes you go You know what I got to do something till 5 30. I'll do something later. I'll come down later, you know, and they're like, okay So me I like to drive without the radio on before gig really Yeah, if I got a gig even at the economy, so I don't put the radio on the way down. I'm thinking I'm in my fucking head Why would I want to bring somebody? That's my 10 minutes to warm up. I'm in my fucking head thinking about us. Sometimes

Sometimes when I'm driving at night and I have a gig, you know, I do I pick a time in my life And I just pick a story from it and I tell myself the story out loud No, okay, just to refresh myself of those thoughts or what happened or I'll do that. Just a certain time in my life I'll pick 1978 and I just think of me going to booze basketball camp with checking me green and Ralph Fusso and the council fucked With us, so we stole his shoes and we'll put a bar of soap in there We put shampoo on that motherfucker and melted and you know, just stupidity just to jog my memory When when did he start doing this a couple years ago

I felt that it was it's like a singer when a singer goes to sing He goes in the back and he sprays his throat like a fucking moron. He starts doing throat exercise We just warming up his throat. It's the same thing with your mind My my instrument is my mind on stage. There's no fucking notes. It's my mind If I write in a daytime a lot when I go on stage That's nice like stealing because my mind has been exercised all day. That's so interesting. I've exercised my mind So when I get up in the morning I get that cup of coffee and I clean the little box and I roll that joint and I do all that shit first thing

I do is I sit down sometimes and I write and then I stop I take a shower and I go back and I write I look what I wrote before when I was half fucking asleep about my day or what I got to do I look at the handwriting all these things that You don't focus on but is that why you wake up early? Like is that why you force yourself so that by the time you're seeing somebody you're fully like awake and well You know, you always want to be your best So as a comic right now if I as soon as I get up my daughter has no respect for the door

She's too and I can't explain to her. I can't break her sometimes. You just want to come and jump on a fucking bed or whatever Jump on the desk, you know So sometimes when you're writing, you know, you're gonna fall into a trap You really don't open up a door because you know eventually something's gonna knock on that fucking door and break your interruption Last night. I got up at four Jesus four to six. I said, yeah for that. I got up to pee and I go fuck it Let me get a notebook and I got a notebook and I got a big cup of coffee And I fucking sat there for 15 20 minutes and I went outside and I hit the pipe

Then I came in I started writing just little things no TV No outside no outside Fucking up my head. What are you for you because I know it's probably different for everyone How do you get your brain started for writing? Like you just sit down think of like what makes you laugh like how does that especially 20 years in you probably thought of every promise by this point No, because you start thinking about you go to your life now Now you go to the funniest thing, you know about which is your life the shit you don't tell people, you know For fucking a year I took this computer on the road and whenever I click on the computer it would say

You know, let's say I'm at the crown plaza right in Portland and say crown plaza Connect and you click that button then another page pops up and you put your room number and Your name and you put what do you want high speed internet or the lowest speed for free or high speed for 295 extra and you click it on and Then your computer starts up and you have to find another window and click on to that for yahoo and all that shit to come on I couldn't figure out so I kept calling the front desk when I don't understand what's going on with my fucking mirrors And then like what's good? What are you talking about mirrors? I think I told the story, you know a lot of Podcasts your wife told me. Yeah, that would keeps calling these front desk and mirrors and mirrors and mirrors and then we go

We don't know what you're talking about sir. I go. I don't know either You know my wife she got me this computer for Christmas and she put mirrors on here What I was trying to say was fucking windows That's how stupid I am, but who would tell you that nobody would tell you those embarrassing moments. I would Because I don't ever want you to think that I'm on stage trying to be swarmy. I'm smart. I'm not fucking smart at all I'm just talking shit up there. So I want you to see my deepest fucking secrets This last Ari thing I told the deepest secret that I hold My life with Santoria growing up. That's my deepest fucking secrets

But if I don't get it out there this ain't gonna work Why Santoria your deepest secret because you don't tell the guy you don't want to tell nobody about your religious things and what you believe And then I watch that Scientology thing. I'm like of these retards make it work My Santoria isn't all that bad. This came from Africa. They mixed it with fucking Catholicism. It's got a background to it It's got a story. Yeah, I don't think do have you got negative feedback for saying you do Santoria? No But who knows what people believe there's always something. I don't want this on I don't I never want I hate religious people. I Fucking hate when we're having a conversation and some of these starts preaching Jesus Listen, this is the wrong time in the place

And I don't know if you did any background check on me You got the wrong motherfucker to be preaching Jesus in the morning That always annoys me during sports when they the first thing they do during an interview is like the first person I want to thank is Jesus because without him Drives me fucking crazy. Meanwhile, he goes home and beats up his wife on steroids I know when he has tattoos all over his face. It fucking drives me crazy when they fucking thank Jesus God and you could tell they're religious that There's you know, when you go to jail, everybody becomes religious and you could see his people walking out the gate

You could see the Bible through get thrown up in the air. You just see go fuck this. That was bullshit You know, they don't really believe they just talk that nonsense And and there's people who talk that nonsense on you and you look at them and you're like you're so fucking shallow You know, I know the religious people up. I was watching that 30 30. Which one? Bill McCarthy, have you watched that? No, I haven't seen that one yet Very interesting because I lived in Boulder at the time. So it was Sal Ineszi and his daughter and what was going on in Boulder But I used to go to Sacred Heart Church when I moved to Boulder I used to I was lost in 87 after I fucking went through 22 kilos of blow. I was kind of lost though

My girlfriend my wife at the time and her family went to Sacred Heart and I was Catholic I figured let me just go back and try to get a little faith I went back and my wife my girlfriend at the time would always get mad at me for what because I was sitting in the back I would never sit with her family up front. I Always felt that I was a sinner and I belong to be in the back These are just my little personal philosophy. So I was sitting in the back So how deep is Catholic ingrained and you do that's horrible horrible. You have no idea I'm the real thing. I have to sit in back

I got a sit in the back was that like a punishment at Catholic school? He was a punishment in the back of my mind because I wasn't living the way I wanted to be living For 30 years, I didn't live the way I wanted to be living We're just talking about this outside people who live with remorse and people who commit and go this is it Okay, this is what the fuck I'm gonna do You know and we're talking about sons of anarchy is a great example We'll get to that later. So I would sit in the back of the church. Okay And I would just sit back there and think about all the bad fucking things

I did now was a horrible Catholic and how it failed, you know, how it failed as a Catholic and I was a fucking thief, you know, you know when they fucking Put Jesus on the crucifix the two guys next to him with thieves and I always figured that I'm gonna fuck him Yeah, you have no idea do you ever confess all the time really you do confession all the time What is that I've never done that you gotta go in and tell him a story and then he tells you what to do and you go fucking do Do you tell me all the bad things? Nobody goes in there and says I suck 22 dick So there's no real confession. Do you know what I'm saying? Like nobody gonna say father last week I ate a quailude. I put a big black dick up my ass. I went to this fucking gang members house

I had 10 black guys fucking run a train up my asshole. Nobody's gonna go to church and say that. Okay, so there's no confession. Did you do that? When I would go in there, I couldn't say well, you know, father, I would go in there and keep it very I Would go in there and say father bless me father five cents been whatever since my last confession. I stole I lied I cheated and I fucking This was not me I didn't break it down. I didn't tell him that I kidnapped somebody I didn't tell him that I broke into some Guys house. I didn't tell him that I robbed my godfather. I just kept it very bland Okay, do you think if you hadn't done drugs you might not have been a criminal because it seems like the only reason you did those crimes were for drugs

No No, it was I've always told parents to watch what you tell your fucking kids You have to watch what you tell on what you do around your kids that that weekend that you Make your kids stay with your parents and you go drinking and they come back and they ask you what's the matter? You're like, I'm hung over and they see you hung over that stays in your child's head Yeah, and your child is gonna do what the fuck you're doing if your child sees you smoking dope You're his hero

You understand me. So when I was growing up here's my mom and she had these friends that were dear friends that were fucking criminals So I was exposed to this Was it okay for me? No All those years I was a good kid. I did dumb things growing up You know, I stole money from my godfather. I did dumb things that kids 13 and 14 do At that age, I know I was gonna be a criminal. No once I Once all those things happened I

Felt that the world had turned on me. So now it was my turn to turn on the world once You have an event happen to you could be anything, man Your central nervous system you start asking your religion Judaism you learn that if you love Jesus Whatever the fuck you learn in Judaism to keep it together. Yeah, so if you doubt that and You doubt life now, you're not gonna have no respect for life. The most important. You're not gonna have no respect for yourself Once I lost the respect from listen a thief is somebody who a criminal or somebody who loses respect with themselves Some of you does drugs is somebody who lost respect for themselves somewhere That's all this, you know when I got off the blow. I didn't work on getting off the blow

Okay, that's for fucking amateurs. That's where everybody fucks up. I worked on my character What was causing you to do blow what I wanted to go back to the point where I didn't do blow So I went back to a point in my mind when I didn't do blow one day and I do blow when I was going to karate When I was with those kids So what did I do? I went and joined the karate school Just to open up that avenue. Maybe it was that that was attacking me most people that get off drugs They lived their whole life getting off drugs. They don't work on the things that got them on drugs Jesus

Jesus did this is why it took me 30 fucking years to get off drugs Why don't they do that rehabs because they don't fucking know because the people that are trying to get you off a rehab Have never done drugs. They have gone and taken a fucking course on your mind Nobody knows the fucking human mind Especially when you do drugs you have no idea if they said ten real junkies in the room I'm not talking ten fucking AA rejects that come in and tell you about the night that changed their life I'm talking about when people really go dog. I didn't have suicidal thoughts. Well, let me tell you what I was thinking Let me tell you what I was thinking a five in the fucking morning, okay

What I was not fantasizing about but kind of glamorizing You know, this is what people don't tell you so when you go to a rehab We have to stay clean with a focus on staying clean until you get that high again They don't focus on the things that got you high. What got you high? Where did you break down? What happened? Give me a week. What happened and all of a sudden you hear these guys spouting when they were 13 They're fucking lizard. They've seen their dad step on it's something so fucking simple that broke you down as a human being How long did it take you to figure out what it was?

Like did you sit down for like a couple weeks and just think like I sat down for a couple of years at night at the end of The night when I was going down on the coke you have this huge crash. You have this huge depression I don't know if it's like this for pills or whatever the fuck. It's like And I would want to not kill myself But I think about what the fuck is going on with my life and I'd make these dumb notes and And one night I'm sitting in I'm like, wait a second. When didn't I do drugs? Well, what what age did I detest that? Because there was an age where I detested all that shit. I understood the marijuana. Let me tell you something

I always understood so you never considered that a drug. No, I always understood marijuana from day one because I saw people giggling I Saw a drug that made fucking people giggle and get out of their heads for an hour. I saw people So you'd see people high. Yeah, I saw my godfather highlight my god my real Catholic godfather The guy who baptized me was the first stone. I had contact with and he was Great when he was stoned when I was a kid and he'd be stoned my life would be a fucking paradise with him What movies and food movies and food and and stupidity giggle He'd fucking giggle. I've been thinking about my godfather Since last Sunday at church. I don't know why and I looked them up online

You know, we were we were talking about My wife Went on to a fucking thing yesterday about a documentary she saw about some woman who was a cheat on Netflix, she's still diamonds. She was the greatest. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and and my wife was blown away At two things. She was blown away at the woman's ability to lie and She was blown away at the she never knew about a person's commitment. You know, we're talking about commitment And I was telling her I was like she don't understand I was telling when I used to go in the jewelry stores, you have to do certain things, you know, you have to

Like she said the lady would tell the truth to rob something, you know to gain trust All these things that a lot of people don't understand regular normal people Don't understand it's hard to it's hard to understand like for me The hardest part would be the worry that I was gonna get caught Like like just always looking over my shoulder that that seems bananas to me that part of being criminal You know, people say that they do drugs to

Comedians, okay, like I was watching the Kenneson thing and and all because comics go home and then when I keep that energy going So they do coke. That's a great fucking cop up. That's just a great fucking cop up No, no, because this time I go home now and I just want to drink coffee and Smoke a joint go to sleep So the energy somewhere went that that's just something they say, you know, he wants to keep it whatever but it's so interesting how Excuse me, I got to tell you what my biggest fucking rush was In life in life. I'm like my biggest rush right growing up my biggest rushes were

Taking a bicycle and jumping on for ramp like the first time I fucking took a bike and made a ramp, you know And I landed on my rear tire Jesus fucking Christ makes me nervous just thinking about it But it was a three it was a three-foot drop. I ain't no fucking evil can evil I was always a half a fucking bag when I came for that shit jumping off buildings and shit I got to walk around with a cast and people gonna sign it and my foot smells like an asshole and fuck all that noise So that's like your biggest rush and then I got really good at basketball, you know, and You know when you finger somebody or you suck somebody's teddy when you're in the eighth grade or you when you're a freshman Or you you know, you see a pussy or something like that, but then

you know like a Big rush for a young man is when you think you're a man when you're walking to a bar for the first time And you know and you know just anything like that. Yeah, that's a big right setting moment. Let's talk about rushes Let's talk about something that makes your fucking heart beat and your ears ring Okay, there's nothing for me When I would break a door down or climb through a window and I land on the other side of that window And there'd be nobody home and I knew where the coke was You have no just thinking about it makes me want to take a shit from the anxiety

I'm getting right now. What if the cops come? What if they come home? What's the neighbors here? You what if they listen when you it's like anything else in life? Why'd you try comedy? What if you failed? What if you yeah, but this is sending you to prison Listen, the others you just get a different job. You don't even think about that stuff. Oh I know you're here Lee, right? I come here once a week. I buy come here three nights a week I buy powder from you a particular fucking like you and I know you don't fucking like me You always got some fucking smart You always got some fucking half a fucking moron here to heads or something like this or whatever some jerk off

I know you got four to five ounces in here at all times I know you got six or seven thousand in here. I know you got a safe But I know that I could fucking break into that fucking safe I don't like to hit it with a sledgehammer throw it out the window or whatever or maybe you don't have a safe I don't know And I sit across the street. I come over here and I cop a few times from me I never make myself suspicious. You I never catch you catch me looking around So you just go and just look I'm always watching you and I'm always talking to you

But meanwhile, I'm looking at that window. I'm looking at the drop. I'm looking at what I'm gonna have to knock over One day, I know that your schedule. I know that at 3th. I found out That 430 every day you got to leave him pick up your kid Oh And you're gone for about an hour. So For three or four days in a row. I'll come over here At three park over there watch you walk out getting your car and leave and I'll sit there till you come back And one of those now when I'm watching for you, I'm also watching for cops. I'm watching to see patrols

I'm watching to see no, I'm not obvious. There's got to be something across the street a restaurant Do you have like a mentor or are you just doing this based off of instinct because I would not know about this Well for instincts. This is how I fucking did it Okay, Jesus. I asked questions without asking questions About you through different people. So what will happen? How dangerous is Lee? Not that if I take this fucking six ounces, you're gonna come look at me with a fucking pistol Is he gonna come whatever whatever, you know, who does he know?

He might be a friend of somebody that dude might have a friend Well, I'd be like with the mob or something. He might have a friend So you got to watch all these things But if he's just some fucking jerk off and he's trying to be cool and he fucking thinks he's cool And you just don't fucking like him. There you go. You got your window So let's pretend I want to break into here in the fucking daytime the front door is open Right this fucking lock. I could pick this with my eyes closed this fucking line because it's got a thing on the outside of the door I just pop that with a screwdriver and I kick this fucking door

I Could do this too and I could kick the door in come in get your stuff and jump out that fucking window I would case that window. I was crazy Lee But let's get back to the rush. Yeah, the rush this gave me When your heart's beating out of your fucking chair, and I would do everything straight and never got high Businesses business and the whole day before no, I would get like I would always do my little robberies I try to do them in the mornings. Okay. I always try to do my shit at 11 o'clock 12 I don't want to be hidden with like the night. No, no, no, no the night makes it worse. You're in a daytime you blend

You blend you blend kicking a door down That's the beauty How do you blend kicking a door down? All right? You just blend. I just forgot. We came here four weeks ago We came here five months ago two months ago, and there was some guy laying in the hallway And he ended up robbing the fucking chair poorly that guy's out psyched everybody Okay, we all thought he was passed out. Yeah, you're following it. We saw him there, but we didn't really see him Can you describe him to the cops? He had long hair, but that's about yeah You saw him, but you didn't see him

That's the fucking talent. Yeah, but he was homeless you like you were sitting. How do you know did you talk to him? You assumed that he was homeless You think there's a guy out there who does like makeup and like pretends to be drunk and lays on floors and office buildings Whatever it takes to take you off balance. That's a professional When did you get a ham on the podcast? When I was growing up sidelines, he'd walk into a place slip for he sell the whole package to you we were just talking about Commitment if you're gonna be a criminal, you know, we're talking about one of the cheesiest shows of all time

What's the kid's name who tries to kill himself when he kills the junkie chick? Speed whatever and we're talking about son's anarchy. Okay, right? We're talking about the dude that did you watch that episode? He takes tries to take the grant the kilo coke Yeah, juice juice that he hangs himself. He tries whatever. Yeah, that was scary. Okay a guy like Jack's teller a fictional character like Jack's teller. Okay has No remorse. I'll pull a gun on you and shoot you. There's people out there that'll like that You don't know until you meet those people When I was a kid, I met those people. So I know they exist. So I know my boundaries. I

Know people who fucking wave a gun and talk a big game And I know people will take a gun on shooting broad daylight not give a fuck So well, you could just by shaking a person's hand could figure out how you're gonna deal with them No, no, I didn't say that. I just said that in life there's people that You know, so what but so how do you decide whether or not you can fuck with them or not when they pull a fucking gun I'm put it down your fucking throat and shoot you. Oh, so you have to play by then. It's too. Yeah You follow me. You never know the animal you're fucking dealing with, you know, if we look at the three last big

TV characters that we've dealt with we've dealt with some great TV characters We've dealt with what Walter right and breaking bad. Yeah, he's good, right? This guy wasn't a tough guy He wasn't a heavy. He was nerd and I'm just talking about whatever bullshit But the characters that we've had then you've had now I've met people like Walter That aren't heavy The heaviness is their genius. Yeah, like the guy the guy who did the chicken Whatever is the Spanish dude? Poyl Hermanos or whatever the guy who owned that Walter Fring and then the black dude in Sons of Anarchy the guy

Pope Pope who is just like a business dude They turn what they do into a genius and you have to respect that in a way when you see a guy like Pablo Escobar Making 60 million a week or whatever the fuck he was yeah You have to sit there and realize that that guy on the first of the month starts from zero Starts from zero like we do he figured out a way to You know, whatever on the system. I'm not talking about a hero here. I'm just talking about a cat a person's character You talk about a guy like Tony Soprano All right compared to Walter

That he'll shoot you right he was ruthless and Sometimes I know that I say things and I look at your face and you've never heard somebody say shit like that That's why I've always loved the character of Tony Soprano Because he sucks everything up and he moves on with it He knows this is a business. We got no time to fuck around. I Know deep down inside you ever see when he would talk when you go I know deep down inside these guys don't like me, but what they don't know is I don't like them. This is a business We're just fucking a business here. This is a business and before everything

There's business. There's an episode when he goes Tony. I got their leg You know how it is to have a kid. I had to pack the car up. Didn't you do that? He goes. No, I never did that. He's serious He never did that. There's guys that You know my ex-wife she used to bitch that when her dad was in uniform. He never picked them up There's people who respect what the fuck they don't and they don't play around I get I understand I look at mercy. I look you straight in the face as a man when I had Jackie I Would kill you I was fucking that crazy

Because I was I don't know what I was trying to prove and I don't know whether drugs were taking my mind I look at mercy now and my age now and I couldn't imagine Doing what I was doing at 20 to make a living. I Don't know how a person with a child Could carry a gun that's beyond me like I look at my stepdad. I look what my mom was doing I look at what the people around me were doing. I thought you wanted a gun I thought you were I want a gun but for protection. Okay, I'm talking about I don't understand how people with a kid To get in that car today at my age now with what I know and what I've seen

To get in that car like the work the worst thing I could do right now If I stopped doing Tommy and stopped doing this podcast and I had to make a living I Probably book make That's the safest thing I would do with a child sports book numbers little gambling That's the safest thing I would do or I get into legal medical marijuana business You follow me. That's the only option I have is a criminal For me to let's say I was Italian and to come out of jail and have a baby of 52 I'd have to go out and be a captain and smack people and shoot people and

Have stolen stuff around me and fucking deal with people. I won't are you kidding me? That's softened me right up Yeah, I'm gonna see took the wind out of my fucking sales. Could you have done it without mercy? Do you think oh fuck? Yeah, that's what it's in my DNA. Okay, so I understand compartmentalizing like the stuff you do as your job, right? And I get the rush But three days later when you hear the cops are looking for you or three days later when you see the story in the newspaper You don't get nervous the cops only look to me maybe two or three times in my life That's two or three more times and I want to read maybe four times Oh god cops came to places where I were and arrested me and let me out an hour too later like ten times

That's a lot But cops were actually looking for me in my life like looking for me looking for me Maybe three or four times and they found me and they never found me. I turned myself in in Seattle they came for me for a warrant that was issued because I didn't show up to court But I didn't know the warrant got issued Do you understand I'm saying when they were looking for me for the kidnap they came on the paper They were looking for another suspect. My name was not but you never got you never got nervous

Like you never had anxiety about that like I understand that it's part of the business, but that's part of the party. You got to be positive You got to be positive Listen when you're on the other end of that robbery You know who robbed you Seven out of ten times six out of ten times your first thought is always if it's a drug of money robbery But then you can't turn them in or you can or How do you know or yeah, I guess with the drugs you can't turn them in money you could

If you were a drug dealer Lee and you sold drugs for a few years and also and you got robbed You'd make an inventory of who knew you had the stuff who was asking questions Who you saw around the building? That's another thing if one of your friends saw me at that restaurant across the street eating looking at you I'm done. Yeah scam is done So I have to bet. Oh my god. You have no idea how I used to have the case joints Did you ever get caught cuz I was gonna ask when the time the time we were sitting in your car You might as tons of time where I caught Use I was in the neighborhood eating. Oh my god. What's happening? None?

And when you're casing the joint, you're not sitting there with fucking binoculars like the DEA There that's why the feds always get made because they're fucking stupid. They sit there or they get an apartment You see the curtains moving You know You make somebody you drive by you drive by you walk by you have to have a purpose to go there You always have to have a purpose to go there But especially if I'm a drug dealer if I walk out there and I see Lee across the street Lee, what are you doing here? Oh nothing? I'm just walking neighbor. Boom right away red fucking flag

Why because what's he doing in my neighborhood if he's not doing something he should be coming if he's coming to my neighborhood He should be coming here He shouldn't be going walking around the fuckers now. Let's say that there's a Chinese place across the street And you go to the Chinese place and you bring people with you. Okay? I'm gonna tell you a story real quick. Okay, and we'll go to break it There was this kid when I was growing up. I didn't really fucking dig him at all. His dad was a mom so he left a wife He was being raised by his his mom the kid was a spoiled fucking little fuck and

He uh, I think I told this to he fucking later on after high school when I went to Colorado I came back and I was buck wild I Tried to work. I came back in 84 and I tried to work from February to like May of June and I said fuck this shit This is not working. I'm going for it. Just criminal stuff Just criminal stuff bartending to keep me sane, but just criminality stuff selling coke If I could rob something I'd rob it if I went to a party somewhere. I was always on the fucking make bro I could not be fucking trusted Okay, I cannot be fucking trusted. I had my friends who I would never rob but I loved the Holloway's

Conti shit like that, but I had I loved I was a 24-7 criminal and One day I found out this kid was selling coke And I knew his stupid hours. He had a day job and he partied all night, but he came home for lunch to get coke So coke during lunch, I don't know what he did, but he came home for lunch. Okay, so my scam was I didn't want to catch him before lunch I Had to catch him as he was leaving Why because I gave me more time

All I would have was 8 to 12 and then he would know and he wouldn't go back to work and he'd be hunting all of us down This gave me I just to like at least five right So I clipped this guy up like 10 after one as he was leaving I went in And I got him for like an ounce of blow and 1200 bucks whatever First thing I did after I robbed him was a hung up to the corner to the neighborhood deli where we hung up I Got a sandwich and a you who a potato salad on the arm and I borrowed 20 bucks I signed for 20 bucks out of the register Because I knew when the kid would got robbed he was gonna go up there looking for me and the guy was gonna go

You're crazy. He just was up here and he got a sandwich on the arm and he borrowed 20 bucks Jesus I was covered the whole fucking while I would not do a line of coke I Would take the money I robbed me and give it to one of my friends And I take the coke and stash and I would not touch that coke for two days So he couldn't tell it all but then this is another question. I've always had good when you stash it somewhere I I I always be thinking about it like I'm like I don't know if it's even selling maybe rats got it Like you don't worry about it. Sometimes I would sell it and flip it and keep a little bit and do a couple bumps that night

But mostly I would stay clean for two days Just so if he came at me, I was clean. What are you talking about? Look at me. I haven't done a fucking line in two days. You're wrong and Then he would ask around was cocoa out last night getting high fuck. No, we haven't seen him in two days He was out there and I drink club soda It's a commitment from A to Z dog. It's a commitment from A to Z. We were talking about remorse I was a horrible person. Not that I hurt people or nothing like that, but I was robbing people Do I feel bad about today? Fuck. Yeah, there's certain people I feel horrible about but it's done. It's water under the bridge

Have you apologized? I've tried What do they say? Fuck you It's understandable. There's a couple people. I don't want to apologize to my godfather. I really do I feel that I Could tell the couple times I seen him that he was heartbroken and now as I get older I know what that heartbreak is one of your friends and you don't get along or something I could see it. I didn't understand the heartbreak at 21 22 when I had done that to him You know, so I feel really bad about shit like that

But I had no remorse at the time if if it was between me and you you were going down Jack You were going fucking down if I was in a pinch. I Would just take those dry loved it I fucking loved it and that's why I think I like comedy as much as I do That's the point I was getting to Because the only thing that gave me a rush like comedy in the beginning was like thiefing was comedy I Love my heart to beat. Oh my god. I used to is it when you're killing like what what about comedy gets you that rush?

Excuse me, you know, it gets me just going up there That first 20 seconds man is fucking phenomena and Once you learn how to control that rush That's and now I understand rollercoasters. I don't fucking like rollercoasters. All right, I'm scared I'm a pussy for rollercoasters, but I would never judge somebody who went on rollercoasters Because I understand what it's like they control that that rush but

Is it is it like does have to be an ovation or could it be for people? Just the fact that I'm going on stage those 30 seconds as those are like the crowd going nuts the applause and all that that's bullshit That's a complete different part of the game Just getting up there just sitting in the grid listen, you know, it's like me saying you listen You want to jail in 20 minutes and sit here on this couch You're gonna see you think well, it's the same concept you have to make it like that like for me I turned it into fun for some people. It's horror like public speaking Oh, yeah, that would be in front of 200 people the first time you did it the laugh factor

You're falling up bless you. Hi, you're very good at it now. Well, I had done at the ice. I said laugh factory was pretty tough, but that's Jesus, it's crazy the man Did you ever when you were starting comic ever to like pretend you were announcing yourself? I like a comedy club come up to the stage the crowd goes wild Joe ideas I Can't Remember that I did but in the beginning of comedy. I was very cliche really like I you know I believe that you had to see it before it could happen, you know, and you do you really fucking as dumb as that sounds

As funny as that fucking sounds You're not gonna be good at something Unless you see it happening like and you you kind of see it in your mind sometimes I was a huge Daydreamer when I was a kid, but like that I can always imagine myself doing things like that. It's weird I do if you know if you're not fucking dreaming, you're not alive man Think about that, you know, what gets you to the next level a dream Every fucking time every time if you think about it, we'll get you to the next level

You're gonna deliver pizza or go back to Boston. It wasn't a dream to get a job, but You had to think of something. Yeah, that's true. You have to see it first and Then it happens. You know what I was sitting there last night. I see this documentary. I Called you whatever one in the morning first. I never called you after like 11. That was the first time really was it? Yeah, because I was like this. It's just an idea. That's commitment That's what we're talking about, you know When you don't commit you're gonna fucking live in doubt like juice did You're gonna fucking be dizzy and that I do the right thing, you know what man?

You go for it. You don't look back Whether you're a fucking thief a race car driver. You've got to do a hundred and fifty miles fucking hour You just step on it and you go what am I gonna do? Oh, and it's horrible It gives me anxiety just that that that's when that's the whole fucking game right there. That's what you want You know, what makes paula fucking get up and go to law school and do homework and Jesus fucking Christ. Can you imagine? Jesus fucking Christ 14-hour days in a law firm typing looking at contracts There's a dream that you have. I don't know. Yeah, and then you got to say well You know 14 hours, that's a fucking hell of a fucked up dream

But this is gonna get me somewhere to where I don't have to do this and I could do this side of the fucking law Yeah, I mean the you always have to assume that you're gonna start at the bottom, especially nowadays. I Know you probably don't remember exactly But if you had to guess around that time, where would you be daydreaming about you doing comedy like was it a certain club? I would just I would daydream at night When I got home, whether I had a good set or a bad set I Would daydream the thing is we're gonna get better. Do you know I'm saying yeah some day, you know, I would daydream that uh, I Would have an apartment and I would have a car and I

Would daydream that I was just working certain clubs But one of the most obvious clubs that I've wanted to work was the comedy underground in Seattle and you just think about it and I would think about that club I think about the comedy works in Denver at the time like headlining someday Like I didn't even see this other side of the business. I just saw that I was gonna stick it out So let's say I went home and I had a great set that would fuel my goals You know I'm doing this tomorrow and if I would go home and have a bad set To take away the sting from the bad set I would fuel the dream with tomorrow

Do you have anything to do? Do you playing your sets at all? Or was it just the act of doing stand-up? I think I was just the act of doing standard because I knew I would get better That's interesting that's really cool. I knew I would get better So I would talk myself into it whether I had a good set or a bad set if I had a good set forget about it I was getting closer to the Seattle Underground and that's so weird because I dreamed about Seattle from probably March of 94

Like I had little list, you know What places you wanted to do? Yeah, every time I would go to the Denver County work on Witsendor, McKelvie's on the way out I would take the paper Even if it was the same paper I Did that as a reminder that I went out that night Do you follow me? So in those days? Yeah, I went from Monday to Friday. I went out to different comedy club Comedy clubs with my line. I went out to different bars, you know country Western bars and like I did I would do a line dancing class. I didn't do the line dancing class

I would do comedy after the line dancing class. You never joined him. No, I was embarrassed That was an achy breaky heart was big way before you even you know, this is Miley Cyrus's dad That started that whole fucking line dancing We would get there quarter to seven a quarter day and I would just sit in my car and watch them And then as soon as I see Andy Payton, that was his name He would go to the stage and say good evening in five minutes the comedy show is gonna start you and here You know, you're a beginning comic. You're ready to do comedy There's 80 people in the room and Andy Payton will go up and go to the shows in the starting five minutes

If you want to stay stay and all of a sudden the whole room we get up And leave leave right in front of you and you sit there Like I drove all the way here and they'd be like an old couple and some young kid and maybe two-factor girls and You go up there and do comedy for like seven people on a Sunday night That's the truth for no money sometimes 25 bucks sometimes 20 bucks But they still have the same rush as you do as when you do and then I would drive home and let's say Tuesday night I went to the comedy works for the open mic. I Would take the newspaper if I went to McKelvie's on Friday to do a guest set or Saturday

I would take the paper. He'd always had that comedy newspaper there and Even if I had read it already I would take it home just to circle my goals that night Do you follow me and hold a second? I go to Michigan. I Talked to a friend of mine. I go winking you and I go on the road We're gonna go just pick a week and I picked Detroit and I'm at a girl and Fucking the girls telling me that in two weeks. She's moving to Seattle So all that and she invite you No, she didn't need to I just

I guess I'll move to Seattle to put some music on cocksucker Monday November 9th me and Lee going old school tonight here Question and answer bullshit and Lee's eyeballs are starting to get ready to shit. He wore a purple shirt starting to get ready I'm high as a fuck tonight. I feel good very nice combination of stars the chocolate Yeah, the hash is tremendous to Don't worry about leaving my fucking Earbuds already blown Where cattle bells tomorrow jiu-jitsu at 945 we're meeting I don't know if you're going that early. I'll see how I feel. I gotta go and sweat a little bit

Kettlebells at 11 I Got acupuncture mom surprise. She hasn't called me to confirm. I got a spot at the store tomorrow night Been busy couple fucking days. I put this audition down For a pretty funny fucking show Lee and Do they ask you to like to audition or how are you sending it in by yourself? I sent it in already. I went on but did they ask you? Yeah, yeah, it's cool. It's Pretty interesting show but Like my lines are fucking out there. Is it something you could be on every week or I think I'm too old

Let me tell you something what I did guys today last week. I want to spend 369 dollars to confirm what I already know I'm an ugly old cocksucker. Do you understand me and you get old quick people. You have no fucking idea How do they charge you for that? That's what you call us for headshots. I didn't know what you did, okay? What do you think I know I'm fucking ugly book today. I got the pictures. She took 80 pictures all of them We could put them in a horror magazine fucking a horror show. I don't even know what the fuck I'm looking at them for I'm looking at these things going. Wow. Wow You got to really stop doing drugs early. You got to catch yourself And you got to take good care of yourself when you're young if not you got a little fucking quick dog

I was in shock, but I know I accepted it. What are you gonna do? You can't stay like, you know, I can't let a bread pit forever No, why they don't even need to be 369 dollars to look at these pictures and go. Oh my god, it's almost over It's almost fucking over. Is that all you're thinking as you're looking at them. That's all I was thinking I wasn't upset. I know, you know, as long as you know this going in so we can use any of them or no I have no idea. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do with these things What had what what poses did you do? Oh, you know me? Sitting by the pool, you know, yeah, what kind of poses do they do for a headshot lead those dumb fucking things me and You know, it's I got I got nine chains. I got a fucking. Oh, no

No, I had a fucking this pimple was alive and kicking over my head. So every picture I got a red dot So I got to take it to the looter finishing now. I'm blowed all right a fucking pimple, you know, I hate that shit I like but I like labella figura to come in fucking full effect. You know what I'm saying I feel you don't I'm think I'm gonna I'm pretty sure I'm gonna shave my head tomorrow. That's what you want to do Do you walk around for fucking a Jew holiday with no hair? What are you gonna do? I work with this guy one of my last TV jobs and he had like no hair But he still kept it and I remember thinking I was like if I ever look like that I'm gonna kill I have to shave it and

We move the camera positions today and I looked and I was like, oh, bro This is going down further and further again. I always thought I had more in the back, but it's just gone now I had no idea it's the reefer nah Who knows maybe they're abandoning ship, but I have one of my family's balls literally everybody So I think I'm your brother. Yeah, we he actually shaved it too. He's been shaving it for a while. I Think I'm a toughie Lee now at any level told mom. I just want I had a friend that was very My god, I think back on how

How much time and effort he took to hide conceal spray paint Go to fucking tests vitamins rubs magicians, I mean Well for me, I think of his life and it was just Brutally, I took propitia as a kid. No, what's propitia? It's a pill to stop it. And it were you Maybe middle school But it stops it it does stop the hair loss, but then they came out that like fucks with your dick So they stood they took me off of it

But I think for me I was just chubby from like an early age So like even I'm just now learning like what kind of clothes to get I would always just get jeans and polo shirts That's all I would get because that's really they would fit So I never I never like was that like into like going for girls I was always shy and everyone in my family was bald. So I was like, yeah, it's just gonna happen I was short. I'm short and ball. It's like, yeah It's an add another thing. I just know that a lot of you look at a lot of men and they've gotten the thing And it's torture for them, you know, I had a friend that you know, I thought I love him and for years

He lied about you know night I accepted it because I I Couldn't imagine what are the options the the comb over what took stupid Getting plugs, I guess which I guess is looking better, but I don't know. I Don't know what the plug still looks like a fucking wig does it really to me It does there's a guy that does a thousand commercials, you know, I'm told I'm is a white guy and I smile He does a thousand commercials. Oh, yeah, and I look at the hand American hair club or he does no, no, no, he does everything but American hair club

He does he's now he's in the commercials in a race car and he gets in the passenger seat the chick drives He's always in the fucking commercial. He's got a hair plugs and What whatever, I mean, I'm not mad at him. I just always My perspective I wanted to know why my bed my friend Glenn lost it I mean this went on and it was fun and I was a friend of his So when he had a few cocktails and he'd take Valium or whatever He'd spill the beans to me and I'd sit there and I'd feel bad inside like I want to grab and go Your dad is no his dad wasn't bald. Did he love his hair would he like spend a lot of time on his hair?

No, when he started realizing he was losing his hair he went nuts. Oh, I Was just new I guess from the spray I remember going in his car with him and him gonna look around and I thought out we were gonna do a blast of coke And all of a sudden he'd open up his window. They take a spray can and He'd spray the back of his fucking head like and I go what the fuck I didn't know what he was doing I tried Rogaine for a couple weeks for like he did Rogaine. He did he did Rogaine. He did the stuff You're rubbed. He went to a specialist where you rub stuff. He went to a one like a organic Hila thousands

Thousands upon thousands. I think there's any way to reverse it Other than I could see now. I'm losing my I've been losing my head for fucking ten years from these this headshot today I was like, wow, I've lost a lot of hair. Does it make you happy my head? No, because this is part of who the fuck you are Listen, somebody once told me something when I got to Hollywood. They go, you're gonna lose. You're gonna win the whole time They go good-looking guys get old and they get ugly. You're ugly to start with You're gonna get ugly and all the it's not gonna matter. You're gonna stay the same which makes sense But you look at these guys like Richard. Yeah, he's old now, you know

Val Kilmer ain't the same fucking Val Kilmer from Top Gun. He ate a thousand fucking cheeseburgers What about are you gonna see the new the new rocky? From what I'm hearing. Yes. Really? It's supposed to be good. Yeah, they already put an order in for a sequel Jesus Christ Because it's scoring so high and uh in the whatever Listen, man. We've had this talk about tons of people From myself to david tell to just because somebody is not Uh, what's that word to you appealing to you like you like oh fuck him doesn't mean he's not going doing good work

Stallone. Stallone is a fucking genius. You look at the guy you like look at his moron How many for he has two of the biggest? Well people could describe brands today, right? That's what people say everything's branding. Well, guess what? Who do you think invented the branding? Sylvester Stallone, yeah, limbo and rocky one started in 70 and one started in fucking 80 81 So what branding are you fucking talking about? Fuck oh and my issue isn't really with Stallone It kind of is because he they wouldn't do the movies if he didn't want to My issues just like what is his number seven? Wait a second. They wouldn't do the movies if they didn't make money

Let's get it. It's not because he goes in there and says fuck you They do it because he goes they they tell him go back and write another script He's gonna write another one about Rambo killing Isis a 70 year old With muscles and explosions, you know, oh no, no, and we forgot the expendables right another franchise another Brand as you fucking morons out there believe that everybody has brand. No. Who do you think invented branding? That fucking Momo that fucking Momo You know, whatever seven movies. What do they put now? They're doing a remake of the magnificent seven Listen, did you see what happened two weeks ago in hollywood? What happened? It was the lowest box office

In fucking 30,000 years. Oh, they've been terrible. No, no, no two weeks ago. The Bradley Cooper movie made five million dollars Opening weekend and the Sandra Bullock movie made four point three million dollars Jesus, okay. That's Sandra Bullock and that fucking Momo who played the retard who was married to Angelo Jolie Listen, these new kids now these young kids They don't give a fuck about that fucking dude They don't give a fuck about that dude and Sandra Bullock guess what it's time for you to show those titties and that pussy Because it's over that good girl persona. Nobody wants to see no more It's over who gives a fuck that you're voting and you're edgy and you got a black adopted kid

There you go four point three million dollars. That's the beginning of the end Bradley Cooper Who my wife can't figure out? I love I love him. Have you seen Bradley Cooper interview? No, he interviews. Well, he's funny He's one of those crazy white dudes that he's fun If you get him a little drunk and you make him smoke a number or something I like you could tell he doesn't go overboard in all his movies. I saw one interview and he was Not breakdancing but popping. Oh, yeah, he was talking about he would pop or whatever, you know They it there's too much entertainment

There's too much. It's it's too much. It's it's coming at you now From all over so for eight 95 a month. I could I could get Netflix. What the fuck when I go to the movies exactly There's documentaries on there. There's movies. There's this there's that there's who got everything is on fucking Netflix I don't go to the movies even with Netflix, but Paul and I were talking this weekend We don't remember the last time we went to like we saw black mass Which was a disappointment and then That's really it. Like there hasn't this has been a really slow movie year

I went to see mission and I told my wife. I'm I still love tom cruise You know me. I'm a tom cruise dude from way back. All right. Why I don't know. I like tom cruise I like tom cruise and collateral a lot I like tom cruise when he played with jack nicholson in that movie. He's a great actor. I like tom cruise I don't care about the Scientology. Whatever the fuck he does on the side. It's his fucking craziness, but I like tom cruise But I think I was talking to my wife that I tell you who they have to use that they haven't been using That's that kid from sons of anarchy jacks. Tell it. They got to use him a more stuff. He's perfect. He's english They got to start using this. Yeah, he's really english. Oh

Don't you see it? Don't you hear his accent come through? It's terrible. He has to really struggle with it No, I didn't notice it. Come on. I hope tonight when you go home tonight when you go home I am db whatever his name is charlie honan and pick a movie that he's been and click to that movie He's english. He's either english or he's english. No, he's english You didn't know that did you know listen to him sometimes he fucks up his words What episode was I watching that he just he did and they could you know, he can't catch everything No, I have to I I've I've been impressed with him like his

I think he's like really intimidating. So I'll have to I never heard the english accent at all. Yeah, he's english That's pretty cool. He played a gay dude in a show called The comedian was a nice kid. I forget what his name is And he played a gay is whatever or something Just imd b charlie honan and he was and he'll tell you where he's from the whole fucking deal. I thought you knew that No, I had no idea Let's see Oh my god, I'm fucking high as fuck. So anyway, those are good. I don't know if you guys

Oh, yeah, he's british. He's british. I told you do you want do you want me to look for that gay movie? No No, what's the name of the tv show? It says television series From uh, maybe 2000 to 2007 or eight he was on a tv show undeclared. No What tv shows has he been on charlie? Uh, young americans queer as folk queer as folk Wow, the fuck you think I'm then he played a gay dude, I think I'm assuming. Yeah

What do you think you're dealing with some novice here? You think I just fell off the fucking banana boat? No So I went to portland, origan great place I was high as soon as I landed though Was it a burbank flight burbank thought nice nice like a doctor They put you a little port of recombine. So I sat next to a guy a construction guy with a helmet and everything Did it give you any anxiety every time he turned towards the window the armpit The whiff came out. It was horrendously fucking bad There was only one

Store this so I was hitting that vapor pen like a soldier. I was fucking baked by the time I got the I got the poor any edibles Uh, no edibles. I didn't take any edibles with me So the first fucking day I get to portland I go on this guy's radio show And we're having a nice conversation I told him how I felt about you know the documentary and how

The bullies and the guy fucking went crazy It was the weirdest thing. It was you know, like you told me about it And I just went and found it online. He put it up as a podcast and you guys are having a good conversation like you guys were like It's just and then you you told the story that you told a bunch about your mom making you go fight another guy And he was like, you think that's a prime violence You know manly. I'll tell you what happened to me That was a big turning point in my life

My mom did two things to me one time. She picked me up at that Catholic school And on the drive. She's like before we go home You got to go to the bar and fight this kid Why because he had spit it I was maybe nine how old was the kid maybe 10 or 11 or 12 And my mom told the kid to be there Friday at a certain time that her son was going to fuck him up This is how crazy my mom was and I remember fighting the kid on the side of the fucking bar We drew like maybe three or four punches at each other and I cut his lip and he fucking got his body and that was the end

My mom gave me like 50 bucks. I was a fucking national hero That's what I daydreamed about sometimes because I never got in that fight I would daydream About fighting the the people who are mean to me. Listen, you know how you daydream fighting Yeah, you get punched in the fucking head and the daydream goes away, right? You don't want to be a fighter. You don't want to get ahead No, Jesus Once you landed on me on that thing. I don't want to fight you You're a little torpedo, but

That wasn't sticking up for yourself You know for years living here. I didn't stick up like as a comic. I never stick up for myself The comedy club on this I never stuck up for myself for years. This is recently Because when I was hooked on the blow and in the beginning as a comic, I didn't know any better You don't know how many years I took shit because I didn't know any better from who like who would give you shit bookers Uh You know

Fucking bookers when I first got here was so fucking dickish to me What would they do like how would they be rude to you? Like what do you want type attitude like who the fuck are you to call me? Who told you to call me really? Are you funny? Like they would just have this really weird attitude and I had it Like I got along with some people, but I was very fearful One of the worst calls I ever had was I got a call from rogan monday And he goes hey, do you want to work Las Vegas with me in july and I go yeah, I was a young comic. It's 1998

You dream or all you hear is how You make all this money in Vegas Right, right now when I first started in comedy A lot of people kept coming up to me going. Hey, man. Did you have work for steve scherripper in vegas now? We're going on a he's gonna fucking love you He's gonna fucking love you you and him or an item Wait till he meets you And there's a comedian very funny

I love him with all my heart steve maguru and steve maguru and him with tight And I remember working with steve and steve would go i'm gonna put a word in for him with you You and him would hit it off perfectly You and him are two peas in a pod So when I got the call from joe rogan like even then I didn't disrespect the guy I could have called the guy and said hey steve maguru told me to call you it's las vegas I was never good enough for vegas in my mind At the time so when joe called me I was very in shock

What year was this this has to be 98 And that was your first time doing vegas first time ever And I go yeah, I love to do it and he goes all right. You'll fly with me And then but call him he wants to talk to you So I call entertainment, please Nice to speak to steve scherripper. Who is joe deez? Hold on, please Hey, steve scherripper. How can I help you mr. Scherripper? This is joe deez

Joe rogan said to call you. Yeah. Yeah, I've been hearing a lot about you It was weird. It was a very weird conversation Like it wasn't and I don't know if I I said something That was all color or something. It just it wasn't very weird But I knew it wasn't the conversation I wanted to have because the week pays 200 It's two shows you get a meal card And that's it. This conversation is over. Send me your bio and resume. He hangs up Fucking two days later, I got a call from rogan going crazy on me. Would you tell that guy?

He's all pissed off. He doesn't fucking like you now He doesn't want me to bring you it was the weirdest thing and you don't you didn't get an argument partner. No, no, no, no I had the situation with the other guy that used to book you for six nights And then a week before the gig he called you and he only had two nights. That's a scam we might come from Yeah, always did it. He didn't want the ones all the time. Oh, no, they're fucking so what he'd say he go to you Where are you? September 12th through the 17th. It would be Tuesday through Friday. I'm just assuming you go. I'm home. Okay, open up your book The 12th you're gonna go to ogle on Nebraska the 5th 13th. You're gonna go here the 15 you had five nights

And all of a sudden he facts you a fucking copy of your itinerary And then a week before the gig you get a call from his office saying Are you home close to a fax? We have to send you a new itinerary And you go new itinerary and she wouldn't say nothing to you. She'd say it's a new redone And all of a sudden you get and it went from a sheet with five dates on it to a sheet with two dates on it and it was Tuesday in like Boston and

Saturday and like fucking South Carolina Jesus, and you're like, what a second. What about the nights in between while we lost those? Well, I just can't drive to South Carolina for 150 fucking dollars. Who would do such a thing for a whole week Yeah, and he would say if you don't do it don't ever call me again, and I'm never I'm gonna make sure you don't work the improv Jesus You want douchebags And after I thought about like he was one of the first guys that I stuck up to But I told him I was there already and then I called him back and I said fuck you you have no show

That was one of the guys that I stuck up stuck it to That liberated me Did they give you a rush? Did they give me a rush? Yeah Whenever you stick up for yourself, and you know, you're right. It always gives you a fucking rush But that time look it never affected me. He told me I would never work the Dallas or any improv in Texas And then I would never work in Texas again. That's what he told me That doesn't seem to be true

No, and I took even shit here You take a lot of shit here from people I've noticed you take fucking tons of shit in the industry here from people and you got to keep your mouth shut And it what and then when you say something, you know what you become the guy who says something difficult to work with. Yeah We had a nice little chat tonight, Lisa. Yeah, see as he does it works. I do. Let me give some shout outs You don't want you don't want to talk more about the guy in Portland No, hold on. Let me give some shout outs and uh, we'll get this out of here. Alex moscow tfh4 ryan danzy david bravo

Steve zo talking land always on the fucking move ookey spooky arguing with people all weekend And my man paul louis fucking in the house this weekend. I'll be at The stress factory Next week and I'll be at the punchline in san francisco and then the night before thanksgiving I'll be at the Irvine improv waiting about that. Fuck off very exciting. Yes, it is. I had rodrigo torres I'm not on find your radio. We had a good time. He's a good. He's a nice guy Rodrigo torres is one of my best friends in california. He was a really good impression of you I don't see him as much as I like to

Do He's a old school spanish type kid. Yeah that I grew up with that was straight When you were growing up that didn't do drugs on me. He's studying to be a lawyer Rodrigo has seen me in some bad situations never judged me. I'm dear friends with him and his brother His brother doesn't speak to us anymore. Really? Yeah, I'd love this brother. You know why his brother stopped treating me Why because of you? What I do his brother wanted to be you Oh, I'm sorry, but he had too long of a drive

He lived in riverside. Oh, and I was put him on simple missions And he would just destroy him Like I mean it was like this is what you want to do But he didn't and then he went to work for gabriel and he went to war with gabriel Because he wanted to be full-time and gabriel's like i'm just getting started You know hang out for a while come up at night take pictures and I'll give you cash, but he know he wanted to be in and he told those guys to fuck off And then me and him spoke and I told him what I wanted him to do same thing like you same thing

But he no no no I have an idea for a movie. What fucking movie. Let's just start with the videos. Let's just see He had this eight thousand dollar camera He You know, I get I told him he told me he's a photographer Come up. I can get him a deuce do some head shots He did these pictures lead that I had to rip up Like they were the One this weekend

No, I was young and in vent and these pictures they weren't that they weren't head shots at all They weren't focused or nothing Then they told me one of the shoot a joey karate video I go let's shoot the video. Guess what he did. He put the video up without editing it So the first eight takes He left on the fucking video on youtube on youtube What was his response when he asked him? Who knows lee? Who knows what he was thinking? Oh my god

So then he came up and I said to him listen. This is what we this is how we're gonna start This is how we have to do it if you're interested and I never heard back Thank god, and maybe two or three months later you popped up And I bumped into him like maybe four months later and he was very disappointed And I told him I said you never got back to me. You didn't want to put the work, brother

You know, you didn't want to put the work. You just want to get put on You know, he wanted to just get put on like just I just want to come to work. Give me a check every week What am I gonna get a check for you? I don't fucking I'm having a hard time getting a fucking check like he was that So but Rodrigo's a great kid. I'm happy you had him on the podcast. He's a great comic He goes to school. He goes to Mexico. That dude will fucking tell you about history. Your mind will fucking blow up Do you understand me? Really? You sit Rodrigo down. You give Rodrigo a joint. He's a history fucking nerd, brother Jesus, he wants more talk about oh my god. You didn't he didn't talk to you about that shit

He could break down everything in history to the tee In a way that he explains it so fucking You don't you know when something you know, you ask somebody a question and they talk down to you Yeah, he doesn't talk down to you when he explains history. He breaks it down for your beauty explain the whole Armenian thing to me The hundred the massacre it was fucking amazing I had heard the story. I had read about it, but he broke it down So beautifully I I fucking love people that could break history down. I'm a fucking moron I don't I wish that I could take a story from history and break it down my way

I just really don't know history. I forgot it. That's why I wanted to fucking take classes What's going on here cocksucker? What are we doing this week? Huh, look at the shape. Yeah, I got to go to fucking New Jersey without you I know I caught you know what I went to look because I was going to switch my plane ticket to do the new york comedy festival with arian do uh What's his name show but lee they wanted it was murder Oh, they're killing you it was murder the fucking plane ticket to switch it. Oh my god. They wanted 377 to switch the portland plane ticket

377 they wanted a buck 20 to change the fucking ticket Animals yeah, if you're gonna follow out with a fucking holidays read the fine print. I'm just not it's just Why it's so expensive. Have you looked lately everywhere? Yeah, I can't even I'll go back to boston at some point but never during like a holiday I got an idea. Don't worry about boston Anyway, so we were talking about the bully thing, right? And this guy went off and then I went back to the hotel and I went on twitter And he had said some stuff but he had said some stuff and blocked me

And I really thought about it and I thought if I was out of bounds And I thought I hit it affected me and I think about mercy Now everything I run I run through mercy What do I want mercy to do? There's gonna come a day any fucking day and I'm mercy's gonna come home and say some kid hit it They don't accept it at that school, you know What do you mean two times they throw you out? You gotta work you get sent home the first time the second time you get ejected from there

Don't fuck around at that school that school's by the fucking book You have to apologize gotta do Everything I say now. I gotta think about mercy. I have to justify this to mercy Do I want mercy to come home and complain to me? Do I want to be one of those parents that goes to the school? And gets a teacher and pulls the teacher aside. I don't want to do that Well, obviously like the the thing that And I just turned it off because I can't you can't listen to an argument

So I did that that layer it pissed me off But his whole argument on twitter was that you were advocating assault You're not telling mercy to to get a pipe and beat her to death You're just saying fight back and and and stand up for yourself Maybe a punch. You're not talking about assaulting little kids Why do you think I asked you to go to jujitsu beside meeting people? I know you love paula Yeah, and you know what man? You at 20 I was prepared to fucking stab something like I was crazy at 20

Like I had some type of weapon on me and I think that where you live Where you go with paula? I watch you and you're way better than my wife You're way better than my wife. You pay attention to your surroundings My wife is horrifically bad, but If something about you know, you like to go eat at night at weird fucking places and I worry about you You could take somebody down now Keep going don't fucking you know, especially those are sound classes. Oh, that's how he kills you. They're hard

Oh, and I know you're the type of person that Even if I kick you you wouldn't take me down and kick me in the stomach You would throw me down hard and get in your car and leave with paula You have to assume this is gonna happen some daily and you always want to be prepared What are you gonna be like red band and burbank of two in the morning and some fucking black guy dresses a clown I'm gonna fucking attack you with a knife. He's the terrible. I don't yeah There's so many advantages to this one thing. I did have a 20 that I could run I could I could hit I was I worked out. I lifted, you know, anything could happen

Well, you think I run around scared down anything could fucking happen I don't want to beat nobody up. I just want to be able to fucking defend myself and run and get in the car and fucking get out of there Before the cops come that's all that's all you ever want to fucking do But I wasn't not advocating to hit a strike. Yeah You know when I got hit with that fucking Let's say I ever get around to writing this fucking book That's in the outline that day when I got hit with the fucking lunchbox that stayed with me that stays with you as a child That fucked me up that made me want to go home getting stitched up and getting my mother

My mother gave me like a fucking An ear beating in the cab after I got stitched up for getting hit. Yeah You know, like I was it made me become a different I I touched that scar from time to time Jesus fucking Christ. It's not there anymore. If I shave it, you'll see it And right now I'm starting to faint just touching it just thinking about it how I rubbed it And on the below is dripping down my face and how I ran from Central Park I ran five or six fucking blocks

running And the heart My heart pumping was making the blood come out more and more Jesus fucking Christ. I'm gonna puke If I pass out people, please don't laugh. Oh my god, it was terrible. Do you mean something? No, no, no, I'm good. Just thinking about it. Like how much it fucked the fuck me as a kid like running home Five or six blocks like running running with the blood dripping as I'm running and just going Ah, ah and people going can we help again me just pushing people like I was having like it was my first real panic attack And I still remember running past my house

Like I was in shock. I lived on 205 west 88th street So I came down 89th and was I ran I made the right and I ran too stooped down You're just too excited or too something happened to me and I held on to the stoop and I seen the blood Hit the fucking sidewalk And I felt the blood dripping down my face and something made me run up the fucking by that time The lady the lady who was cleaning the house She knew something was going on

So they let me upstairs I went into my house and they had to call my mother to take me to the hospital This lady that was cleaning the house. I forget what her name was. She took me to the hospital They had to wait for my mom before they could stitch me up That's fucked up So by the time my mom got there my mom was gonna fucking throw because first of all I wasn't supposed to be at Central Park Oh, that's why okay, so right off the bat my mother was gonna beat me right there at the fucking hospital Just why wait, why couldn't you be in Central Park because I was supposed to be at school

I played hooky in the first grade. Oh Jesus Christ, Joey Oh, no, no, no, no, this was the real deal my How do you play hooky in first grade? I didn't go back to the afternoon session I Made Debbie Dominguez and some other fucking kids just took off and I went I had this I used to eat hot dogs on the corner 89th street by ps 166 They used to be a little hot dog man that I made tremendous fucking hot dogs

They stopped me and he used to give you an orange drink for a quarter league It was this little fucking container. It was an orange drink not orange juice little plastic cartons or jugs Cartons old school. It was a little carton. This is 1969-68 late You your daddy was still fucking coming on Jew girls in Boston. It's some fucking elementary school Yeah, let's not talk about that, right? So you weren't even a thought at that time. Thank god And in the afternoons they used to say you're not allowed to leave the premises. So my mom they made us take a lunchbox of school That's what happened and then one day we were fucking like fuck this. Let's go to the park And we went to the park in the park. We started running different directions

And all of a sudden these three six year old monsters and all of a sudden these three little kids I took them for granted Lee I took them for granted. I thought we were all together So it was like bushes in central park. There's a lake in the middle But we cut we didn't go down the walk in those days. You wanted to be a kid So you want to be adventurous or you jumped that little wall? It's been years This is you know, uh, I was active a lot in central park in the 80s. I would go there and kill time I would go there smoke a joint and walk through the park in the daytime

In the daytime. Is it scary at night? I wouldn't go in there at night in the fucking 80s They they was known for people getting fucking beat up and dragged. I don't know. I don't know nothing I just know I wouldn't go there in the nighttime. I would go there in the daytime to kill time To smoke a joint and walk through the park with a walkman on okay. That sounds nice and Go to the zoo No, there was no fucking. Yeah, there was a zoo there But no, I wasn't until there was a lake and you walk around by the lake and you could rent these little fucking But this is that they're 40 fucking years. I don't even know what it looks like now

But we were cutting through the weeds there and I and I mingled up with these other kids And all of a sudden they started saying what's in the lunchbox? And I I looked at these kids like you like I had I was with some kids and I turned into some other kids And one thing led to another they asked me what was in the lunchbox and one thing let and and something happened The one went to pull the lunchbox And when he went to pull the lunchbox, I didn't know what the fuck to do and all of a sudden they started swinging that immediately So random like group of other six year olds like they were probably eight nine whatever the fuck they were And there was three of them the next thing you know, you know, I got punched in the fucking head

I threw a couple punches. I threw a kick and they took the lunchbox from me And they opened it and that's when the kid hit me in the head with the fucking thermos The thermos had glass and I'll never forget when the thermos hit my head. I had the glass breaking Jesus Christ And I remember getting up and like swinging two or three times like now I connected with one of the kids And then something happened dog. I found the blood And I just started yelling like I had never experienced that before in my life I just thought that was the worst day of my life for years For years because I never knew that day would ever come nobody told me that you're gonna get in there with the lunchbox

Or blood was gonna gush out of your fucking head So I ran the fuck homely and I had to go to the hospital and wait I don't know if I forget the towels You know what my neck looked like how much blood I'm just on my neck that I ripped my t-shirt off And when my mother came they stitched me up my mother fainted During when they were stitching me up. I cried like a pussy in those days They put a sheet over your head like a kkk with a hole in it and they stuck a needle nova cane into the fuck Oh my god, my eyeballs

They're just numb your entire head. Oh my god, lia was horrendous and they'd stitch you up like a fucking sweater And you just sit there and fucking yell. Oh god, it's horrible My mom was yelling I was yelling and my mom want to know what the fuck I was doing at the park And she was interrogating me while it was stitching me up And then the car on the way home and the cab she fucking gave me a fucking ear beating About you got to stick up for yourself and what happened and blah blah blah But it had to be maybe two weeks later. Once my stitches were taken I joined karate And that was it. Fuck that. I was never going to get in that position again. Fuck you. That was horrible dog

That was a day from fucking hell because I experienced everything Anxiety I fainted I got hit in the head Everything I hit the fucking trifecta bad luck dog Six years old seven years old. Jesus christ. Well, you got a cold reality at a dose man But before that I almost drowned at central At fucking Coney Island, of course you did. Well, I almost seen the piece of shit saved me. That's what saved me I saw a little piece of shit in the ocean And then like you know, you're gonna be okay. Just a little piece of shit. You're like, I want to be okay

Well, woke me to fuck up. You know, you're at the beach. You think everything's beautiful And all of a sudden you're in the ocean and a little piece of shit floats by you Oh my god, Lee So What yeah, so he kept saying like you were advocating assaulting kids and stuff You know what at the end of the day? Fuck him man. There's people that have their thoughts and then They raise these kids and then they blame everything on society. How kid it's cold world out there, man I was bullied. I I wish someone had talked to me into fighting some people

I wish and it's not even about the fighting It's the confronting to make them To make them stop bullying you and what the consequences are then and how you adjusted that that's a big step for a child And it goes at you the rest of your life You know I'm saying like it stays here and eventually and you stick up for yourself We've had discussions, you know and you've said different things and I appreciate it's getting hard. It was hard for me No, and it's very good. You have to fight for what's yours. You have to say something for what's yours If you're mistreated you have to raise your hand and I feel like I'm being mistreated

Because if you don't stop it then it fucking never ends man, you know, and then it keeps going and you carry it into other situations where I break your balls all the fucking The fuck is that I break your balls, right? There's a big difference of disrespect in here There's some people that are your bosses and they say shit. They really oh, yeah And here in this town all fuck they'll say anything to you these fucking savages So no, I just listen. I don't give a fuck anymore about the I really don't I'm of an age where I don't give a fuck

But you said he he has the reputation for starting fights Like that's what they were saying that he confronted a couple people people from Santa from Portland don't really like them He always talks shit about some fucking he's on a.m. That makes sense. You you get it. Yeah, but who gives a fuck It's awkward to listen to a fight. What are you gonna do? There's some people that enjoy that shit. Oh god There's some people that like that stuff. I don't want I don't want to confront nobody on this podcast I don't want nobody to confront me. I want to confront me confront me later on Yeah, this is a forum for fucking us talking and Telling our stories and whatever eating some fucking edibles and whatever. I don't want to fight nobody on a fucking podcast on a radio

Should that's the last thing I wanted to do. It's the worst and I didn't curse on a.m. That's all that mattered I didn't curse I yelled back at him and I I stick with what I fucking believe And fuck him and then I found that lady has a kid's foundation. I don't give a fuck man kids whatever you have to uh Teach I don't want my child getting bullied. No, I want my child to be Aware of her surroundings. I want her to know what she's able and not able to do and how she has to fucking behave And you also don't want her to be a bully. No, I don't you know, there's a crap There's a little girl that's bigger than that bullies them And I could see how mercy walks away from our mercy's instincts avoid it. Just avoid it

There's a way to avoid people You know, and it's like I said there's a gift That I learned when I was a thief to disappear how to hide and how to be in the room but not be in the room You learn these things, you know, thank you for calling it instincts tonight. Yes, I learned all that shit on my own I was a predator at a young age and it carried over and now Even before the podcast we were talking about agents and how How well I was doing 10 years ago theatrically because I was more in control I

Took chances. I got tapes to people I knew what film I don't I just don't have the time anymore. I'm too spread out too thin Right if I had the time I know there's not much going on, but what would be going on? I'd be going in on Because I know how to get my foot in the fucking door. It's a little tougher now since 9 11 You just can't walk on the studio say I want to drop an envelope off You can't and they don't they have public addresses like they have p.o. Boxes on large amounts a lot of them Right, but they're not really their offices there. That's the general billing offices Their offices are in studios while they're casting the shows

So if they're casting a paramount show they're at the paramount mount if they're casting a Fox show they're on the fox lot Their office is where they keep whatever you don't even know what the fuck their offices are. I have to time anymore You don't have to go there. No in the old days when I got here you want to book something You want to see this lady? She doesn't know who you are get a headshot in the resume the tape and drop it off And you've got to convince the fucking receptionist to give it to her Uh, that was your that was what you had to do you have to convince the receptionist How would you convince them by being nice and being honest and saying listen

I fucking want to be in on this movie and she doesn't want to see me. I just want to drop a tape off personally And listen it didn't work a lot But sometimes it did work for me. It did work a lot for me by hustling. That's hustling. That's hustling yourself That's in the old days that there's a page show fax.com Show fax.com used to be A great source of breakdowns. I built the beginning of my career. I built I built I booked cold case out of that fucking page. I booked a few films out of that page When I first got here my first resource for acting was back page that comes out on

Or whatever not back page. That's a point on one, right? That's this like a backstage back page Backstage was the one that came out Wednesday afternoons, but those jobs didn't pay I knew I had to build a reel up and then that came along show fax and show fax provided a service for co-stars non-union films and like

Categories like extras, but some of those films were leads Oh, so they will be looking for extras and I knew they were so you're looking for mafia types. That means you're looking for leads Even if it's a short sag film, they would pay I'd go down there boom get 200 a day whatever at least kept real And learn what the fuck I was doing and get paid. I knew nobody was gonna see that fucking movie What were they like longer movies or were they like short films? What were you shooting a lot of I shot? I have a lot of films and I am DB But I guarantee there's 20 things I did on IMDB because I think about them like what the fuck have happened to that

Those people gave me 1500 bucks for three days would have happened to those people And I looked to see the project and I have a web page up nothing There was a movie I did where the whole family invested on this movie. They remortgaged their home. Oh, no I never saw those people again this time I wonder if they sell it overseas. I go to IMDB and the movie's there It's amazing how many things I did that are not on IMDB I did a trailer with michelle pfeiffer and broncin pierce broncin I never saw that again. I did

This other stupid movie about gambling That we shot at night that they paid me. I never maybe 2004 I never fucking saw that or heard from those people again the check cleared And god knows what happens to those fucking things Jesus is scary. It's really the movie that arie did With the dude that's that movie that got a trailer that they took a yanked it did really bad arie did a movie What's the name of the movie a new movie? Yeah, look and see arie's got two movies on IMDB Inappropriate comedy or something like that. Remember that movie. They all dead hang out. Okay, that kid came out here with three million dollars

Okay, he fucking Booked a bunch of people. It says keeping up with the joneses Arie Shafir. Yeah, no, what's the movie that I don't know what the fuck yeah keeping up with the joneses Who else is in the movie click on it? Oh Gal Gadot isle fisher don ham sack alphanakis. No, that's not the one he did one before that Yes, who's in that? Okay, that's what the fuck. I'm saying Lee. Then I tell you there was an appropriate comedy. I thought you were talking about the other one

Jesus christ on a crutch The appropriate comedy was lindsay lohan. Well, I was never michelle rodriguez Aaron brody lindsay lohan arie Dante And the guy directed it was vince offer. Okay. Well that movie the guy had loop Okay, I came out here and started giving that fucking loot like it was nothing 30 g's 50 g's 60 g's They sucked them dry

He had to get more loot to invest in the movie And the movie came out and bombed like it was just a disaster a movie. Maybe he sold it overseas or whatever I'm not criticizing the film. I'm just telling you the results of the film At least there's movies that you do like that that you don't know that they pay you I did a mob movie for like 11 days that paid me and I never heard of sale those people ever again. I did raging bull With remember that you were hanging out with me. Yeah, and he never came out never came out and everybody in it They keep re-releasing the fucking date

You have no idea guys. That's why when you shoot something I used to worry and want to get a reel and I just let it go I shot it who the fuck knows when it's gonna come on how when who it doesn't matter I feel you dog. I feel you. Let's get the fucking sponsors rid. Let's get the fuck out of here. Give me uh The new one here. Thank you my brother bad motherfucking at least I am here All right, let's see where do we start here? You know, I can't tell you the frustration I feel when I want to read about topics that interest me And most I got to manually search for content on the internet

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Watch But I'm gonna break I'm gonna break my I'm gonna break my Yeah, I'm gonna break I'm gonna break my Hey I'm gonna break, I'm gonna break my rustic age And I'm gonna break, I'm gonna break my rustic age

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And I'm sweating a nice mix on your steel show Well I'm gonna break, I'm gonna break my I'm gonna break my rustic age Well I'm gonna break, I'm gonna break my I'm gonna break my rustic age And run