Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #337 - Javier Vazquez

Episode Date: November 30, 2015

  Javier Vazquez, former UFC fighter and owner of Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Rancho - Cucamonga,who is competing at the EBI 5 Sunday December 13, 2015 at the Orpheum Theater in Los Angeles, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Club W. Go to www.clubw.com/joey to get 50% off of your first order of wine curated just for you Texture. Go To texture.com/history to get a free trial for the Texture App. The Texture App gives the use access to hundreds of magazines. Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   HITecigs.com For a better tasting, longer lasting e cig go to HITecigs.com. Use Promo code joeyschurch for five Hit E Cig's for $50   Recorded live on 11/29/2015.
   Music:  The Best Of You - The Foo Fighters I Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet You Really Got Me - Van Halen  

I thought I couldn't even do hip escapes When I walked in that was 340. I couldn't do it. Oh shit I'm like 302 now, but now I go I could go three times a week two times a week. You know great I'll spar with you. Oh, bro. It would raise me right up. It would raise me right up because I would learn I get more confident The problem I have is I gotta get takes me a while to get warmed up my cardio So once I get it warmed up, you know, what if what if I can get you to not get tired? I I would fucking love it. Yeah, there's a way It's it's just real I smoke 20 pounds of weed a day, you know, I got sleep apnea

So that's the main reason why I went because when you're on your back, you lose your mind So I wanted to overcome like I can't see needles, but I go to acupuncture I've been going acupuncture for 10 years every other Tuesday because I don't want to have that fear You don't plan. I don't want to have that fear of needles. So I do it So when I went to jiu-jitsu and I realized how scared I was like I went to see a fucking therapist When I first joined you just why because that's how much fear I had on my back. Oh, really? Yeah I got really hyperclobic because I sleep with a mask on It's so fun. What like over over the past. I don't know like definitely over the past 10 years. I

I Just see it so differently. I see it so differently how I see stand-up. Yeah, probably 20 years Yeah fucking slice right through it. Yeah, let's start it. We'll talk about this is good This show is brought to you by club W Club W is the one club that's changed everything go to club w comm Slash Joey and get 50% off of your first order That's 50% off your first order when you go to club w comm slash Joey They send wine directly your door that's perfectly customized to match your taste and they're the leader and the grape to glass wine revolution

Go to club W comm slash Joey to get 50% off of your first order Also, go to texture comm slash Joey and Right now they're gonna offering our listeners a free trial when you go to texture comm slash Joey What's texture texture is a brand new app that gives you access to all of your favorite magazines on your phone or your tablet? Best part is you get to browse hundreds of magazines and cherry pick the articles that interest you most Go to texture comm slash Joey to get a free trial right now Shows also brought to you by on it comm use codeword church to get 10% off and go to hit e 6 comm Better tasting longer lasting the proof is in the vape and use codeword joey's church to get 5 hit e 6 for $50

I You kidding me or what? Sunday December 29th No November 29th, what the fuck am I thinking November 29th the day the devil was buried at sea you bad motherfuckers Harvey Mendez uncle Joey Please say at Rose Gracie. We ain't fucking around tonight Oh shit here promote EBI December 13th at the Orphium theater Eddie Bravo guitars side controls. It's all fucking over

What's up, we say what's the fucking score cuz I know you're not gonna have no idea We were up by four when I left, but I have no idea Jesus Christ with six minutes to go How do you mend this what's happening beautiful? That's good. That's good. What I keep saying men the Mendez is the fucking boxer Dude that trains like an aka and shit. What are you? What the fuck I say Harvey right to the Mendez I thought my name is Javier Mendez for I'm sorry. No, no, no No, no, you just say Harvey and it just Mendez rolls off the Vazquez and shit

Rose Gracie's in the house in the background like the assistant for the assistant manager back there. Look at all smiles What's up, buddy? What happened? What's the score? Oh, I dropped the check. I have no idea What the fuck I just gave you a two-minute window to check I turn around and you stare at me like you don't know what happened to you Jesus What's up brother not much great to have you on the show, you know, I know you what ten years I finally find out you're Cuban Unfucking believe I was at Cuban food and you're always delicious. I'm burping it right now And you're a rancho cuckoo mango Cuban

That's where you came when you came from Cuba that they take you somewhere else first. No, no, I came I live in El Mane Most of my life and then I I bought a house out here when I was like 27 now when you came to El Mane from Cuba the only other Cuban people or it was just you guys No, I just our family just our family. Did you run through a church first? Like all the other humans, you know, I'm talking about right? Yeah, yeah, how the church groups take you to go to Minnesota No, you're not a jersey. Fuck. Then you lucked out. I lucked out. I lucked out then I never got religion pushed on me ever So I'm kind of glad about that. No, but I'm talking about like when you come This is what happens when you get when all those old little by settle came

Like all these Cubans that come now. There's a show there was a show a couple years ago It was called by settle And it was all the Cubans that came on the fucking raps and what it talked about was once you get here You get sponsored and you go to a church a church takes you in and you move them with a family like Rudy Sarsow when he came here in the 50s He came before Fidel and he said they moved you around every year just for like three or four years Until you found where you wanted to move. That's why I was at school. Yeah, just a lot of Cubans not me not me We were right to Union City. We fucking stayed there

Fuck that we were the room involved in no church. No, but that's the I just bumped into a girl in Okay, I was in Portland, Oregon and the waitress said to me we have a Cuban girl here who works now And she came over and introduced us up. She had been the country for ten fucking years Her English was better than mine And I go where'd you learn English and she goes when we came we went to Minneapolis first But they took her brother her brother's family like they were older They took him to Canada and they had a cuz Toronto has a ginormous Cuban community. Really?

Jai fucking norm is waiting the Canadians go to Cuba waiting when they go to Cuba They fall in love with some 16 year old Cuban hooker and they bring them right back to fucking Toronto they have kids so no Toronto has Cuban restaurants Cuban music You think you're in like fucking Union City. They have three or four blocks. This is in the year 2000 Toronto had a three block Cuban neighborhood that was bumping They take it and I met one of Fidel's bodyguards there Wow, and he was he was telling me He had a book and he was gonna do all this shit and it was really interesting went to lunch

He was telling me how Fidel picks up chicks Fidel walks into a restaurant to eat or he sees a woman that's attractive And he has one of his guys send over a fucking walk over to the girl and bring her a card And you have to call that number and the next day a car comes and gets you and takes you to the doctor to get checked out Blood test they check your monkey. They look under your titties everything and then after that they take you they buy your dresses They dress you up. They draw your head just like Tom Cruise in the Scientology show. Remember they took the chick shopping They take you shopping and then they send you to Fidel's house. No, I don't use your stabbing keeps you around for six weeks Then you disappear

Cut your head off and you fucking you become dog food No, this I don't know but he just said that's how it happens What is it like for you guys like as like I don't when I see another Jewish person I don't get like that excited but when you guys see other Cubans is it like is it like there's not that many of them out here I mean not that I know I'm starting to meet more Brazilian people because of her But I mean it's not like Cuban people are just running into me all the time Well, I was a kid and I bumped into fucking somebody Spanish. I Get excited really when I was a kid and I bumped into somebody Spanish

I would get very excited. Well, I bumped into anybody cool. I'm excited But I always want to hear other Cubans people's stories. I want to hear how they were raised Because I know we were fucking crazy You know, but it's amazing, you know Rose and I were talking about Cubans and grandfathers and whatever and rule number one rose. I'm gonna make your life fucking simple for you right now Cuban men are like German shepherds They all got one fucking disorder And you don't know it till you live with them, but they all got one little disorder something

Just don't communicate right every Cuban guys got that. My wife has finally dealt with it Ashley my wife She deals with she's like he don't bother me at all, you know, but every Cuban guy look at the pants They all have one saying they'll torment you with that fucking saying until you're 80 years old We're talking about how Harvey could be the first Cuban black belt and jujitsu You are probably on paper, but if you know any other Cuban they they had a black belt They fought Chuck Norris. They broke his finger. You weren't around. What the fuck were you? I broke chai fucking smooth bits and they'll tell you like it's nothing

Look, I took Chuck Norris and I smacked them four times. He left crying like a little fucking girl I was gonna ask him to suck my dick, but I was busy. That's Cuban men, you know I'm saying because at the end They always gotta suck your dick. They suck my dick, but I fucking beat him up. You know I'm saying that's awesome What's up, Lisa? Yeah, you bad motherfucking Jew. What's up, baby? Found it. I'm doing a jujitsu tournament with someone 50 pounds bigger than me. So I had a bad morning this morning, man I'm not I'm finally now just starting to even Not even understand UFC but like kind of grasp it a little bit because before I was just a fan But now I like whenever you hear you see fire

You never hear them say I'm nervous about fighting this guy or oh, I don't want to fight like they're always like I'll fight Anyone anytime and I I've went and I looked up his Facebook. I'm I was nervous. I'm nervous, man. I gotta be honest I'm not Why don't you like I was nervous about it. Yeah, like what do you I mean? What are you nervous about being stuck inside control being underneath somebody? I just have he's completely nervous I know Lee and he's completely I'm you shouldn't be nervous My but that's the thing you shouldn't be nervous. You shouldn't be in an environment that makes you nervous like that Well, I mean, I can't really blame I'm always nervous like it's just that's who I am

But then it's just I'm not even afraid of losing. I just imagine I just imagine this guy who's is gonna probably gonna be around Joey sighs a little bit a little bit smaller It's just gonna take me and like throw me through the basketball hoop in the gym with him Like I just I I I don't know. I don't I don't know what I know. He's not gonna kill me I don't die jutsu is jutsu. I mean when when fucking Matsuko Talked the grandfather and he came over from fucking Japan What was fucking Brazil, what was jiu-jitsu for tell them what you jiu-jitsu for just to simplify Tell them what it's for when it's for self-defense. Oh

Isn't it for the little guy for the little guy to be able to beat what is Lee? You're little well, okay, and I know what here's a thing the second the second you stop fighting in jiu-jitsu is when you learn to You learn to understand what it is you have to stop fighting you if the second you start fighting if you encounter Resistance anywhere along your path because there's a path right there's a path to escape. There's a path to submit, right? As you're going down this path if you're pushing on something and you encounter resistance You're going the wrong way stop immediately and reassess the situation. You should not have to push your way out

In a way where you're using force and strength to move leverage can solve that problem if you understand connection and you understand leverage You don't need to work hard and sometimes the answer is as simple as you don't go at this particular time The guy's got you locked down hold down. You're stuck the guys 300 pounds. You can't move. Okay, except the fact that you can't move Stop fighting the second stop fighting the opponent will start to move Guarantee, what are they going to do stay there? Okay. I've got this guy completely controlled Right He's not moving. I feel him give up. I can move now Make sense and you and when you can understand that when you are on the smaller side where you can't move and you are controlling

What he's doing and when he's doing it? It's You you put yourself in predictable situations and you already know what you're gonna do next that make sense You kind of put yourself in a line. You know, okay, I'm gonna do this I already know he's gonna do that How do I know he's gonna do that because everybody else that I've put I've done this dude does the same thing You start seeing those patterns have you rolled and every time you do a certain thing that somebody else always does something to counter Yes, or no. Yes. Yes, so when you understand what that counter is you have a counter to the counter

Does that make sense? Yes, so Now now you're dealing with timing the second that you incorporate timing into into jiu-jitsu it changes It changes everything changes everything, but some but people don't want to put themselves in those vulnerable spots and just wait and see what happens Let somebody mount you and just wait and see what are they gonna do? And you sit there and you go. Oh, he wants to bring his hand across my neck. Okay. I'll stop that. Let's see now now As he's no, he's giving up. Okay. Now. Okay. Now. He's using the other hand. I'll stop that Okay, now, what's he gonna do and you start feeling people adjust and boom. That's when you time your escape No, that's what we went over today the escape from the mount just to fuck around a little bit just in case the guy got on top

in case That's what's gonna happen. You know listen Rocky's been on all fucking weekend. Did you watch your room? You're watching the Rockies one of the greatest American stories of all time I watched it for the first time since I was a kid. What's a rocky like rocky rock? Oh, yeah, I know I have the movies the greatest American story of all time because every time you watch you you learn some You know, there's no mistake why they keep putting it on. There's no mistake Why I got up at six in the fucking morning Thanksgiving morning and the Godfather was on because they they're strong fucking pieces of work

But in in in rocky this motherfucker in his mind He was gonna lose the whole fight right before she comes to the green room. She goes he goes Don't leave town fucking around and she goes by the way and he goes, you know wish me luck I'm gonna need it But when he walked in that ring dog, it turned into something else He just turned into some mouse and he realized he could do it and then you got a scary guy That's why I did that with you today Because one of the times I was putting resistance

He threw me down the big thing he concerned he had today was that the takedown to get to the fucking You know, he's never done a concert I wrestled a little bit, but I was never good. So you understand the content for what you have to do There's a lot of jiu-jitsu people that have never wrestled. They don't wrestle I feel like am I I don't know. I'll ask your opinion. I feel like it might be hurting me because Like with the single leg I always was trained to put my head to the side in between the arm and that leads to guillotine I get caught there all the time, you know that right? So if you feel somebody wrap your neck, that's when you defend. Okay

So, you know, that's an option. You know that that's a good possibility, right? Right. Okay. So anticipate it and if you anticipate it by just shrugging your shoulder or grabbing a little bit higher up on his legs, oh Can you just move your phone? no, that's and What I really need I feel like the worst part of what I do is I panic. It's just I don't I don't know I don't know anything yet. Yeah, but but okay, you can sit there and feel stuck Yeah, you can sit there and feel stuck and then panic starts to set in or you can sit there and accept that you that you're stuck and You and just study what the guy's doing a lot of times people will make

Movements, maybe it gets better. Maybe it gets worse, but unless you put yourself there repeatedly You're not gonna know right the more you study the options from each position the more you study defensively the options What can the guy do? You can knee bar here? You can toe hold here? You can arm bar here? You can American here the second that you understand kind of where you are You start to counter There they're their their first move member Okay, if you don't want to get caught you want to be at least two steps behind being caught does that make sense?

So you can have my arm, but you can't have your my my arm a high bite on the leg and the foot in the hip Does that make sense? Yes. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. Yes, so But you can grab my arm the second I start to feel that foot. Okay. Now I'm a little bit more aware Does that make sense? You have to think don't get caught first everything else second Don't get caught first has to be your Primary mindset don't get caught it doesn't matter what you do where you mount me how many times you take my back that doesn't matter don't get caught and The second you're comfortable not getting caught

People because you studied people's behavior in not getting caught. Oh you want this and okay? It's all do this I do this up a bump you Whatever, it's just don't get caught and if there's little systems and little tricks and not getting caught from certain positions And once you enjoy that Sometimes I won't even tap people. It's just fun playing defense. It's just fun. What it's fine It's like the least favorite part right now. How many years have you been doing jiu-jitsu? 17 almost 17 fucking years, but it but it started clicking on I had this conversation. Okay, so He done is my my wife's brother and this guy is just him and henner are just unbelievable. They're

Incredible, I mean they they they took my jiu-jitsu and just polished it polished it just had me thinking different ways and and That whole concept of there's defend enjoy it If you enjoy being mounted if you enjoy being there if you really understand, it's a beautiful thing how I can off-balance you and escape It's fun Let me see if you understand what I'm telling you

Just because I want to know what I'm thinking here My comedy changed completely since I joined jiu-jitsu completely a Next level because I was so stuck in my life with kickboxing and block boxing and jiu-jitsu and You know Punching and striking and all that stupidity and I kept watching the UFC And all the jiu-jitsu guys there were two of them that made my dick hard when I watched some fight And it was Joe Lozano

And when when he first came on he was a horrible striker but his jiu-jitsu was fucking Flashy no, no the second kid the Brazilian kid. I really liked his jiu-jitsu Let's not forget no girl, but no girl was more in Japan. I didn't get into the UFC that I got into UFC later on Even though Eddie and Joe would talk about it and torment my life I don't get it shit because I put it on one time. I saw Tank Abbott and I got disgusted This is not the martial arts. I came when I came from Cuba. I had the same experience my father died I was a little half fucked up and one day I got hit in the head with a lunchbox in Central Park

That was it. I woke the fucking animal up in me. My mom put me in Renato Laranja's father Renato Laranja the one that his father was my first karate teacher when I came from Cuba How much of a small world is that? Are you kidding? No. Wow. What a lineage. What a fucking connection on 98th Street and West End How fuck with the black guys in class with the hand with the goju karate I was at Laranjo's father for three fucking years. Wow, you know, so this is where so I loved it But being on my back jiu-jitsu guys wrestling shorts. That was never for me I'm too school cute. You know saying like when you're Cuban. Hey, oh, yes, I'm telling you father But I'm so, you know, they're fucking crazy. So it wasn't my speed

I got sick of fucking kicking and there was a jiu-jitsu school by my house, which nobody knew about it Was a John Jack affiliate. I wouldn't embarrass Eddie That was my first and I didn't want to walk into Eddie's and have a heart attack Can you imagine this Eddie's best friend comes down here and dies on the fucking mat? Let me die somewhere else I don't want to fuck his shit. You're really nervous about dying. I was fucking nervous. I had never done it before I had just gotten on my back in the living room and fucked around like an idiot Just trying to do umbars by myself with the cat and shit like that nothing Damian Maya once I saw Damian Maya was like wait a second. I gotta go on YouTube and watch this shit

He's he's good. And then I met Marcello With Eddie and I started watching his he's amazing And I started staying up a nice smoking pot watching Marcello and Eddie Bravo purple belts and I gotta get into this shit But I'm not gonna tell no, but I'm just gonna go try it and the first day I wanted to try I thought I was gonna die like I'm the way home like I'll never do that again But then everything else came in what a how can I quit? At this age, I'm having a baby, you know, I want to live I want my what the baby to see me doing something so she learns I have to set an example, you know my age I

Kept going back man, and then I started traveling and just going into schools on the road So nobody would know who I was right. I would just go to schools. Hi. I just want to do it here one time And I would have fucking heart attacks. I got to the point. I would take aspirins. I would kiss my cats. I Would kiss the baby like I was fucking nervous Because I couldn't get on the bottom Once you grab my neck, that's when I would start. I would start panicking. I Hadn't been in those situations in a long time with the sleep. See you have to just I think what what what really offsets Panic is just thinking of the situation. Don't think of

Okay, what's happening to me right now except the fact that this is happening and just think just think your way through it If you're thinking of an escape route, you're not thinking about panic Does that make sense? Yeah, no, no, and this was my first year in jiu-jitsu Was me laying on the floor and you get none top made me tapping and then I flew to Burbank to Vegas The guy that really twisted me a little I would ask questions big John McCartney on a plane to Vegas I told my situation. He goes listen. I got a guy there. I Wanted to ask him to leave the first two years. I mean the guy just didn't have it. It was the horrific I I didn't want to take his money anymore

One day out of no way he just started clicking now. He teaches my beginner classes, you know, he goes just stick it out You know, you can't breathe tap Compose yourself tie your key and go in it again and keep going and keep going and that's what I did I started and I joined the BJJ Journal.com so I kept a note every time I went the things I learned I was just going to do two for a year and not doing nothing Dude, I just did that I did that over the past over the past four years

I've written down every single thing I know I I write it down before I go in the shower When I get anything I hang the shirt I'd hang the G top I throw the fucking pants to air out and I take my shoes off and before I go in that shower. I sit down. It says date time Notes what you learned? Yeah, just break it down. At least I can set my goals for the month this time. I'm gonna go eight times a month Let me ask you something. Let me ask you something What if you had the instructor's notes and you could add your own notes to it, too What do you mean the instructor's notes?

That's what I did. I wrote Everything I did down. These are my notes. These are my step-by-step. Okay. These are these here's your net note section Dude, that's what I've been doing the past four years. It's just writing everything down and organizing it 100% It's almost 2,000 pages Like I with no background for me. That would be great for someone like me who it would have been great for someone like me Because after class I was just thinking about it I don't remember everything we did in class So I'm some prom amaze that you go home and like can write it out. Oh because I don't return calls

I don't do nothing. All I think about is that class how I got caught and I think about what we learned and what I got in The class what I'm really gonna use out of the class. You know what I'm saying? What really fucking stuck out from that class? Every class should have that every and they do every class does. Yeah, you know what I learned this, but I'm Older I'm not gonna fucking bear and bolo my way into your fucking living room You know I'm saying the chance of me bearing bolo on my way into your living room is slim and none I know I you know I'm gonna do little things and Little things that the little things are what's kind of you know that you're gonna have breakthroughs on you know

And we I mean as far as I'm concerned. I've had breakthroughs, you know I mean breakthrough moments breakthroughs and thinking or you know, you just learned this one way to really finish You know submission acts like this one thing that you so you start The more time you're there the more of those moments you have And it just grows and grows and grows and grows and grows it never stops But you'll start noticing that things that you did two years ago You're not doing anymore because your game changes and your game alters and because as you're learning new things You're trying new stuff and and and you kind of sweep out the stuff that you don't

Use all the time. It's there. It's there. You know how to do it But if the opposite opportunity presents itself you you have that but here's the new step that you're kind of working on You know, so it's always a constant state of mastering, you know I learned something new and I try to be able to do it and I'm just attacking it from different directions and our Concepts concepts are what really have changed my game. That's what he done in head over teaching me concepts It's the concept the concept then you apply it everywhere It's not the move. It's the concept that once you understand how leverage works and Connection works once you start understanding those concepts

Your mind gets blown because the simplest things create, you know, incredible power and incredible leverage simple things that require zero Zero energy give you maximum power. How is that? You know, and you just sit there and you wait the other guys working his ass off trying to do something You just sit there like why are you done? You know the goal is to get them tired. Just get tired Keep trying to tap in the beginning. Not only was my cardio bad, but you're spastic Yeah, your first nine months you're spastic. You just moving around then I watched Haji Gracie Smooth the big guy and I watched him against Romulus that that match I watched that match over and over how

He knows he's gonna mount and he knows he's gonna fucking just choke it Mm-hmm, and it's just it's just a finger in the ass Lee. It's just a wearer Just a way they're like this And little by little his foot moves in and he just straightens up and he adjusts his head You're on the bottom trying to grab and also he grabs one fucking collar. Yeah, and also that's two minutes That's two minutes. Yeah, and he's breathing Yeah, that's the goal and it's change you're in the bottom and he's just and also the other thing goes in He ain't even doing nothing yet. It's just in that's that's it

That's the part that blows my mind the most if I do get to because that's all I want like I Don't care about a move at all right now. I would love to just it looks like they're almost Like what are those things that can just roll around like I don't know that it looks like Sonic the Hedgehog Just rolling around the mat. They like there's no end to it and every time I do what I feel like It's like there's an end. Well, there's a lot and doesn't it's just like it's just like you're just moving one part of your body but every time I watch like Purple belt and up just go it's just like it's like they're almost swimming. It's like it's amazing to watch It really is for a guy. It's blows my fucking mind like it blows my fucking mind

Yeah, she just is kind of like one of those things like I tried paddle boarding. That's fun. It's fun as hell You ever try that? No, dude. You gotta try it's fun. It's not that hard. I didn't fall. That's that's what what about That's what what about this on this down the thing the surfboard. Yeah, and you go like a Hawaiian Yeah, that's fine. Dude a lot of fucking dude. I would totally want to try and learn that like in surfing dude That'd be awesome. Well for me, listen man, this is why it helped me and this is why I love talking to you Right now. I'm nerd not right now. Like I love I'm not a nerd but I nerd out of when people talk like because Comedy's the same thing Comedy and jujitsu same fucking thing. Yeah same animal you have a thousand jokes and you don't use no more they work

But you don't use them no more They got old You evolved you get yourself in the spot one night. There's Chinese people you whip out a Chinese joke from 84 You're far from saying to you, but it's the same thing with comedy you get rid of that shit I'm not gonna do an arm drag no more. That's purple belt shit. Don't land even though that motherfucking arm drag Killed motherfuckers for 20 years Yeah, you know, yeah, do you get board of moves? Yeah, do you? Yeah After 17 years you get bored. Yeah, you get but you understand that there's

You understand it's not about the moves, bro. It's about the journey to the submission. How okay, I'm in your guard Okay, foot in the hip I'll clear that let's see what you do now Okay, you want it back? Okay. No, I won't give it to you. Oh, you really want this foot on the hip What if I just hold us here? Oh You're gonna move your hip that way. Okay, so I'll just follow you You want it under? Nope. I won't give you an underhook. No, you want to set up it? Nope Then the third time if they do the same thing you then you go to the face

First it was a chest and then for them to learn not to do it again. You just push their face Nobody likes their face pushed so they sit back on the back now. They're looking to possibly Put their other hook and I go, okay. No, I don't want that hook in And I just start blocking you and when you start thinking like that Let me just make this life this guy's life a little bit miserable Let me just see what he's doing trying to do and just take it from Just don't allow that to happen You know what I mean don't allow it to happen and just see what he does

Oh, you set up. Okay. I'll back out. Okay. Let me see if I do that again. I will do it again At what point do you attack though? I won't point like because I'm People do dumb things and the attack you just fall into attack sometimes. Oh great Perfect that that was easy When you understand timing and leverage bro, it makes it easy And the thing is is the the easiest way to pass the guard is to not to try and pass the guard Don't try and pass a lot of times you'll see the oh wow. Look at that neon belly. He moved himself out of the way The best way to escape the mountain is sometimes to not just try to escape just study what he's doing

Sometimes you bump you bump over So 17 years you're walking down the street when they whistling minding your own business And you see a jiu-jitsu school and you walk over and sign up What happened I watched UFC four that's the one that And then I I'm oh man. Who's this brazilian guy? So then I went back and watched, you know Two three two and three because UFC one at the time wasn't out. I didn't see that till much later on And I was wrestling in college at the time and I'm like I could do that that that would look fun now because I

I could have continued wrestling, but I didn't want to you know I got recruited to two division one schools and it was like, yeah Well, you know, you had to cut weight be another weight class below and I'm like, dude I don't want to cut any more weight and I was already super already cutting weight And so I wanted I loved grappling. I always kind of tried to be creative in wrestling my wrestling coach I used to call me a thomas Edison award. He gave me a thomas Edison work. I was trying to reinvent shit This has been this has been working like this for 50 years. You're not the changer But I was always trying to find that you know that path to least resistance because wrestling is so hard

Dude, everything in wrestling is hard, you know, I mean as I've gotten older and I've applied jiu-jitsu concepts to wrestling It makes a little bit more sense now, but man when I was younger, it was just all go all the time No timing. No, no rhythm. There's a rhythm. There's a dance in wrestling. There's a dance You know, there's a dance in boxing You know, who's controlling the dance is the one that's landing the most punches You know what I mean? There's a rhythm in stand up. Yeah, I'm sure there is I don't know what it is because I don't know that that lifestyle everything has a rhythm when you watch a basketball game When you see a team fucking destroying like Lakers in the day

You watch them They had a rhythm They just it was just a fucking rhythm, you know sometimes I think it was jiu-jitsu is jiu-jitsu is the rhythm jiu-jitsu is the rhythm of everything. Yeah, and when you see yoga well done It's kind of it's an art. It's an art. It's a rhythm. Yeah, that's you know It's an art man and everybody kind of has every artist every black belt is an artist you could say Has their own interpretation Hickson's interpretations different than mine because of my experience his background my background So it doesn't you know

You know Hoi the same thing, you know all these guys that bring these different backgrounds. They all interpret the same information differently. I feel Because they start to get gain their own input of their own experience and things that have worked for them That's why you see the differences in styles It's the same arm bar, you know same thing There's three different ways you can accomplish the same goal. You sometimes pick the one that you like the most same goal same goal Untangling the arm same goal, but man, there's a couple different ways to do it and Makes it easy. Okay. Got that. Okay. Now. No, I do that. Let's move on to the next thing

You know, so that's in my parking next time I get there. Okay untangles easy You know, that's how you got to put it together That's how you got to put it together. So you walk into this jiu-jitsu school. What's this guy's name? Oh, uh, Rodrigo Medeiros. He was uh, one of Carlson's black belts and you're starting as day one starting there's day one But I wrestled through college, you know, so I already had a wrestling background um I was there v tour went right right after he fought tank avid v tours trained there marilla boostamante was there um

valigi ismael was there uh Who else was there? The big guy carlon back. No, that was behetto there. No What was behetto's friend? passed away Franco Franco de camado Franco de camado. So now you walk in there as a white belt

I'm like, who are all these guys in their bikinis over here because they had the speedos They're walking out of the middle. We're here with their no shirt on no shoes. Just speedos out there Fuck your brazilian So I walk in I'm like, who are these guys hole in the wall alligis head went through the hole through the wall Anyways And um, the style just clicked for me at the time the style definitely clicked for me at the time. Um Carlson style is very aggressive very flow based so uh

So a lot of things in combination Uh, tricky transitions stuff like that No real no real concept of connection. It was mostly speed and power from from I felt comfortable in the style and and that's what I felt that I was using You know and and whether or not you could do that to a larger person. I mean I usually could but it was it wasn't easy Wasn't easy. You should be able to be bigger people Almost the same as you be smaller people same concepts and leverage for the most part just takes longer time

So stronger um So, uh, I did the tournament circuit. That's where I competed against eddie So I heard with you. Yeah, you and eddie were like battles. Yeah purple belt. You started a purple bow in purple belt Yeah, and you've known eddie how long I mean, I probably met eddie within six months. No less than six months. I'm starting to train jiu-jitsu So 17 years. Yeah. Yeah. I've known eddie a long time And seeing his evolution and his game and his transformation, you know, because he documented everything

Documented everything which I thought I I have done also now finally But he's been putting it out along the way. So you see his journey You see what he was thinking in 2003, you know, and I mean, what was he thinking? How was he thinking how he's evolved if you know him now, right? it's like a like a like your history So he's done a he's done a great job with that and and I applaud that I thought it was great When did you incorporate striking into your game?

I mean, I mean I started in 97. I had my first mma fight in 98 So within the first year. So I was a blue belt. So I got my belt relatively quickly In jiu-jitsu I got a black belt in five and a half years. So that's pretty fast for most people Especially at the time back then they were promoting like super slow You'd get sandbags forever so

So, uh, were you already a pro fighter? Like were you going seven days a week or like? No, it was a very different time It was I mean I trained jiu-jitsu and then I trained with the boxing gloves on here and there and try to take you down And once I got people down, there was no stand-ups at the time So your ass was down your ass is down All I needed was three takedowns because I got you down I can Stay there as long as I want. There's no such a thing as a stand-up. UFC incorporated that to Increase the pace of the fight. You know what I mean?

Imagine if there was no stand-ups. Why wouldn't you be able to stand up? That doesn't make sense What do you mean like because in wrestling you can stand up? Why can't you stand up and why wouldn't the living you stand this this this whole evolution of standing up off the bottom? This is not has not been around forever. Oh This has been in in the past like Five years or so. I mean guys have gotten really good at that shit Like you see the evolution of MMA if you know the history same thing with jiu-jitsu you see the evolution See the evolution or de-evolution some some of us call it

Do you get mad at some of like the new? I don't know not fancy stuff But like stuff like like kind of like the dh rule in baseball like just the one people change um I don't like that. They're starting to add and change belts. I don't like that I like the tradition of the way it was certain organizations started adding and changing belts Changing rank and I don't like that at all you know, I think

I think um That's something that's like sacred ground. You know what I mean and you shouldn't be doing it Well, when they add or whatever belt is for one one, it's like tight one though But that's exactly the point five belts and now it's got 92 fucking belts. That's why it's that's why well I don't charge for belt promotions. Well, I charge for my test for blue belt But I don't charge like kids like I don't charge them to promote the kids. You know what I mean? That's not something you charge for I don't believe that

So now if you lose your belt or something. Okay. Yeah, but I mean to you know, do you know what I'm saying? Right. No, I understand what you're saying. No, I get what you're saying. It's just uh Like anything else jiu-jitsu has become a big-time business, you know Sometimes sometimes things aren't all about money, right? And we know that but for some people, they don't know You know, it's like when I joined karate. It was 35 hours a month You paid for your gi you got the patch and you were good to go I remember 10 15 years ago when I first moved to LA I went to a suboc though thing here Every time I went in there were hitting me up for 35 hours for something. Oh, you got to buy the books

You got to buy the v8 sat state. You got to do this. You know you don't have to do shit But this it became a business, you know, it's become a business and But who gives a fuck now to help me. I'm interested in this fighting thing. Okay 98 You have a fight now. When do you go pro open hand, dude? Open fucking hand. Open hand. That should hurts I did I did a tournament the first three fights I had were in one night Boom, boom, boom. I believe yes, it wasn't my first three Yeah, I think my first three fights were was a tournament an eight-man tournament. I made it to the final So I had three fights in one day

Getting smacked in the face. Well, well Uh, trying not to get smacked in the face You know, I mean, this is very raw. This is early like you ever seen like this early tap out videos Remember the old ones that they used to do like it was like that around that time Some of those those guys were all our buddies the tab out guys. They were down in orange county with you guys, right? Yeah, no, they were all like Sam Sam Bernardino area. Wow. Yeah, so if you look at one of their first posters I'm in I'm the little wrestler using the poster That's crazy

No, it's it's been a fucking crazy ride But for you like I just saw You know, like when you pulled up you have the strike base I've spoken to rose before one of the improv's one night and she was saying you should go down and see him It's a complete different fucking game. Yeah, you're a really interesting guy like you Before I was fucking mesmerized. He really had me going before Because you're saying the truth you looking at you're looking at it from a 17 year old A guy who's been doing jiu-jitsu for 17 years. Yeah, but you dream more years you become you'll become a master

Like I guarantee when you're doing jiu-jitsu 20 years, you'll look back and go. What the fuck was I thinking at 10 years? I sucked ass That's how I look at comedy now. Yeah at the 10 year mark. I was already in LA I was already hadn't been on mad tv You know, I thought I was the king of the world. I look at those tapes now. I want to light them on fire though But you know what you see you saw that with chris rock you saw george carlin's one of my favorite comedians I love george carlin, but it has his shit got older. He got way fucking better He got way better. He got way better and you saw the evolution

It's like I mean it was good here, but then this show was you know amazing You know and you see joe's the same thing. You're gonna be the same thing You're gonna see revolution doesn't mean that your fans your fans are gonna grow with you Which is that's awesome. They see you they accept you for who you are. They love you and they're there for your journey, you know It's an amazing thing. It really is it's a journey. It's a journey. This comedy. Shit is a fucking journey You know, you're talking about this eight-man tournament And i'm thinking to myself in those days. There was no blood test No, we're fucking gloves commission the mats had sperm on them from the ref getting his dick sucked the week before

You know and you do this no commission No commission and you flip this and this is like when I had to go to rock springs Wyoming to do comedy and share a room with another guy and smell his feet and farts all night In the middle of night, you could just get up in the middle night and light up a fucking cigarette in the room I got I got a story about that. Oh my god. It's uh, it's such a You know the first four or three years of anything You're just doing it to suffer in a way and you think back like I did that shit. What was I fucking crazy? I could have gotten killed Harvey you could have gotten killed

You know not by anything. Uh, you fall over an on-bar you think too much. You have a fucking stroke Whatever the fuck it is And you you put yourself in those positions for what you loved and what you believed in Which is the fucking art you didn't even know Man, we believe me believe me. I did not fight for money Especially early on We're doing because it was fun. We're good at it. You know what I mean? So, I mean, that's that's what I was doing and it was it was fun, man

It was fun to go to the casinos. It was fun to walk around with the bell It was fun. But believe me we're not making money now. These guys now are starting to make some money. Which is awesome in the very beginning I didn't make a dime too. Well, I made a dime after a year of doing comedy I was getting $50 a week to host every tuesday, you know, it's how old are you then I was I started comedy and I was old I started comedy and I was uh, whatever the fuck it is 20 something 32 32 32 maybe well 32 42 for no, I started comedy at 28 But I didn't get serious till 31

I was just divorced. I had every credit card taken away I had a fucking card. I got jacked. What do you call that show when they come and repo repo you got an accurate integrity repo I had nothing so I said I got nothing to lose This is the time to do what I really want to do because I have nothing to lose What do I got to lose from what I've heard from comedians is they they love their job, man You guys love your job. You have fun at your job. And that's I mean, man It's not it's not even about money if you're having fun, man If you can sustain a life you're cool and and you can do something that you like doing man. It's

I I'm very blessed to be able to wake up and put pajamas on and Go have fun with my friends. What were your options when you were 20? Work at a grocery store Stocking shelves. Were you in college? Yeah, you went to college on a fucking scholarship. So you at least really got a college degree I went I went well remember. No, I got I didn't get a scholarship from high school I was gonna get I was gonna get a scholarship after junior college

So I was already like 21 So did my first two years at amounts at junior college So You know, it was funny because I had options You know, I had a bunch of options, but now I had felonies So I was like, well that takes away a ton of options But I can still do something, you know, and I kept thinking about the comedy I kept thinking about the comments something told something something drew you to it, you know

Well, you know what drew me to it, bro that it's at night and I had my days That's what I really liked about it and I started asking more and more questions about it like why what I do this Shit, I like my mom had a bar So I see so on the daytime, you know, she could take care of me the daytime She was around the daytime, you know, I liked that. I didn't like that people had a fucking work in the daytime I fucking hated that. I hate the kids have to go to school. It's freaking 7 a.m. Gotta get up and that you know, fuck them. No, they gotta go to school. Fuck that shit cutin stop Go to school. It's set. I don't want to see the rotten ass those six

No, that's what I'm saying. Why can't they start at 10, you know, fuck that. No, they're gonna start at sex, man Because that toughens them up for the future. I'm sure when they wake up and you gotta put I don't know when I was a kid my mom would put this how Cuban we were She would put a mostive of cod in my orange juice You know what a mostive of cod is and most of the good that's a most of a fucking cod It's cod fish And it's they took the whole fish and they blend it with fucking You know everything that's good for you and it becomes a cream

And your mom puts it on a spoon And gives it to you and you like It's like when he eats edibles And your mom goes go ahead spit it out a fucking smack and you don't have to eat another one So if you spit it out, don't worry about it. You're still gonna have to drink our fucking city with you Till 10 o'clock. I don't give a fuck And she would you know, and then finally mommy put it in the orange juice She started putting the fresh she squeezed orange juice and I would just fucking down it

You know, that's how Cuban we were and then she would look under my eyelids And if my eyelids didn't have enough blood under that she would have a fucking heart attack though Fucking Cuban Cuban people that doing that shit. Paula's mom gave her an emulsive of cod. Yeah Emulsive of cod when you're a kid it takes you from level A to level B Jack Takes you to two fucking different levels. It toughens you up And you don't get fucking sick. You don't get sick. You're fucking immune systems on fire You're drinking the heart of the fish every fucking morning For breakfast. Are you fucking kidding me or what?

That is just I can't believe more and now they're pushing it up for kids They made it raspberry flavor and orange flavor, but it still smells. It still tastes like dick The blood of the fish is still fucking in there I never even heard of that but that sounds Emulsion that caught emulsive of cod. Look it up. We put the picture up for your friends You get the computer fucking working in Oh my god What the fuck you're sitting there all done stuff that they win that the no we lost and it looks like Gronk's heart

So you lost. Yeah, look. Yeah 22 to 21 30 to 24. Oh my god They got upset and Denver in the fucking snow Granikowski's hurt. It's all over and shit. What's going on? Thank god. I didn't put any money on that's right. Thank god No, most of you put any money on that ronda rouse if I no I was at home minding my business. I was in san francisco working. I was in jersey working Oh my god Somebody made some do oh, please it was like 22,000 the fucking three

It's you just to just uh every time I watch the UFC I this is look what it looks like. It's none of these See that red one. That's the fucking one now. That's raspberry flavored the thing in the middle But no, no, you know, what do you got to go to old school? And most of the fucking come when I see it. I'll go. That's how you'll know See that fisherman. That's the motherfucker right there. Look at the ad Oh No, I don't even have it no more and most young that good

That's shit kids. That's what makes your dick Harder than fuck When you're like seven or eight your dick gets hard like once a month hard You don't even use call for your mommy mommy. What's happening and your mom comes. She don't even know. I don't know Oh my god. It's like you're the exorcist. That's looking palatable as milk. Is that true? Yeah, no, I mean it tastes as good as milk. No, no, no, don't taste as good as fucking milk. That's a lie It tastes like milk with fish joys juicing it. That's what it tastes like. It tastes like milk And it's clear. It's a little thick

It's thick It's thick I'm thinking of going to get it because you know what? I'm gonna start giving it to my daughter. Oh, no Why not? Oh, you're cuffing that bitch out that doesn't work. Yeah, it really works, man Someone as well. So why don't you take it now because I don't need that type of protection That's like if you're fucking people with AIDS and you're eating assholes and sure Fucking people with it. Yeah, if you're fucking hanging out with people with hepatitis b and shit like that That's when you drink that shit. Nothing will happen to you

You know, you're hanging out with normal people like you and and fucking Harvey, you know and rose nothing. I'm okay. I don't need that type of protection When you're hanging out with fucking indecents, you know and people in the savages churlishy This is when I was a kid this when I was a kid My mom I was always sickly So my mom would give me this and it kept building me up and it kept, you know, like a fucking added to my fucking craziness She would give me steaks and the most of of cod Cubans bro, they toughen you up when you're a kid. That's the beauty of our culture

That's like there's rumors that if you started acting gay around Cuban people in the 40s It'd take your shark fishing the parents would take your shark fish. I'm gonna pick that deal on it To go out there. I don't see no sharks Throw them off the fucking boat So, you know, it's just the weirdest culture. They're the weirdest fucking bunch of people man You hear some crazy shit So that's that's what that's what I'm thinking. Lee. What's the matter? Lee? You're sitting there all fucking nothing I was thinking like when you were angry about the belts like what does your black belt mean like like

When you see how long it'll take you to get the black belt five and a half Five and a half fucking years. I mean, what do you got to complain about? Oh, I'm not complaining. You broke the fucking record BJ broke the BJ broke the record. Jesus Christ, Harvey five and a half fucking years I've been a white belt for eight years Haven't trained no eight years. No, no, no I'm just teasing you but uh Five and a half years Now you were tearing it up in the circuit like you were just coming back and they'd give you another belt

Well, not not exactly from Okay, so my first the first time he saw me I was A white belt my instructor said you're doing the blue belt tournament I'm like, am I blue belt? And he's just like no, I've been training like three months And I'm like, okay, so I'm gonna do a blue belt tournament, but I'm not a blue belt and he's like, yep So we went up to Santa Cruz

I think it was like the second or third us open It was like the second one now they're like on like 19 or something like that at 20 and uh I won my division and along the way I beat the guy that apparently won the Pan Am's in the finals So three months later, I got my blue belt like three months later. So then like during my blue belt years

I won like 16 tournaments or something like that Then then I got a purple belt, which was a year later. So I was like competing whenever I could and then uh Purple belt I did like there's less matches for purple belts back then so I did like 12 tournaments and I won all of them and then uh, so that was a year and a half at purple And then I got my brown belt. So at three years, I was a brown belt and then I was two and a half years as a brown belt And what was the first promotion you fought for? Neutral grounds out of here, California. Yeah, I think they were like in torrents area out there

You never went to japan though that I did. Oh, you did go I beat uh ruminosado in japan And was like, what was it? What league was it? I don't know. Shoot. Oh, shoot. Oh, shoot. Yeah Look at you. Have you had that motherfucker unbelievable? Shows up with croquettes and shit We burped into my sleep at me a mask Yeah, so

man I stumbled on upon ememated You know, it wasn't like I woke up and I was like, I'm gonna train to be a fighter. That's not the way to ball No, no, no, that's because you got to look at the evolution of the sport and I was just kind of riding that wave So this guy's got better. I try to get better when I saw people starting to do this more you make adjustments in training so I mean to accommodate so things nothing I've never seen a shock like I don't know if I would have fought if I went into like an ememated gym today and just

Okay, I want to be a fighter. I don't know if I could do that right now I mean the way it happened for me. I wouldn't change it for anything I wouldn't want to do it now. I I like the way it went for me You know what I mean? I like that that ride. I mean you just you know You just meet so many cool people on the way early in their career. You know what I mean? and You know become friends with all these cool fighters, you know, it was it was a fun journey, man

It was a fun journey And a lot of it started here in southern california. So you were right there I mean, I don't know the history of the histories. I just hear different stories And it seemed like a lot of fucking fun. Just you known eddie all those years. Yeah, you know, like you competing with eddie and Now look where eddie is at look you're right. You have your school. He has his school. It's just a fucking And again, it's like comedy, you know what I'm saying 20 years ago I was up in seattle with josh wolf. He gets on chelsea lately I get the podcast everybody's fucking happy now. We hang out we talk

You know, it's it's it's a fucking journey that it's just uh I don't know and I even enjoyed the bumps like all those years that I starved and Things weren't fucking kicking. I would do them all over again. Lisa. Yeah, why not? You grow from yeah I fucking grew like a motherfucker. It took me a while. I had a I had a big bump You know, I had a big big bump in my career You know, it's funny that you said that I One day I was out. I don't know what the fuck I was doing. Some guy came up to me. It's like, hey, you remember me We met

I'm like, oh, yeah, what are you know, what happened? He goes, hey, when he when he wants to do a cd Seriously, joe That's what I'm down. Really? And he goes when you want to do a cd and I go, I don't even know what you're talking about He goes, you should really do a cd. I go, all right, whatever. I'll see you soon And he kept calling me. Did you tape the cd? Did you take the cd? No, I didn't he goes, why don't you go to a fucking place? And I he goes, I'll charge you whatever and you could some guy'll tape the cd for you at the time

I was working at national lampoon radio Do you know that me? No, I was working. This is on sunset. We drive by it every night and we go to the comedy store You know that crazy lady dances across the street Yeah, right when you get off lower cane right when you get off lower cane right in that building there used to be National lampoon radio upstairs and I would do the martial arts movie minute I would talk about sonny shiba bruce lee or whatever the fuck I would talk about So, uh, what the fuck are we talking about? about um

Working on the radio taping cd with joe taping the cd with joe and the guy That's funny. You were saying that before he had been he did all these remixes for led zeppelin The guy was beat up the guy was like fucking 60 He had done every drug in the fucking world and I became friends with the guy You know, nobody would talk to him at the studio. I always talked about music. He brought me recordings So he goes, I'll take the cd for you And I fucking take the cd and I sent it to joe and we put it up for sale And every three months I get a check for eight dollars

six dollars Four dollars, I think the podcast things started coming up Now, I think we taped another cd. Do you know what we taped especially? Yeah, I looked at the other day. It is so badly We taped it 10 10 of 10. Oh, I wasn't around for that. That was right before I came around with felicia You have to see how bad this is. Oh, you have to see how bad this is You really do have to see how bad I'm gonna send it to you. You know, it was that you Five years ago and I was already had life involved, man

You know, and this is something happened. They really fucking clicked And I see it now When I go to jujitsu the only reason why I kept going to jujitsu because I was so bad at calming in the beginning I knew that if you're stuck with it, something good would happen Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, if I would have started jujitsu at 25, I wouldn't have stuck with it There's no fucking way Everything's evolving man. Everything's evolving when I when I first started jujitsu. It's like Gracie jujitsu was like Impossible to get a hold of unless you you know bought tapes. It's like where can I get this information?

There was no schools. There's schools everywhere now. There's youtube. You can learn moves on youtube. That's on youtube It was like every team had their um Secret moves, you know, their style, you know So you had to watch you know, you had to watch out for that team style and no team Would share the information with anybody else. It was crazy It was crazy. That's what I went through with jujitsu and it started It was you know, there was this team and that team and that's that team over there and you don't cross train and You don't talk to them. Yeah, they're from Rio. Yeah, we're from fucking the other part of Brazil

It was that territorial. Yeah, I mean everybody got along But yeah Oh, I see here. It's funny. I always see that on eddie's posters for his eddie posters He's like, oh, everyone welcome. I'm like, why wouldn't everyone be welcome? Dude. Yeah That's crazy. Yeah, some people only do seminars at their affiliations Yeah Eddie's eddies guy man. Eddie. What Eddie's done with 10th land is so cool He's got such a cool group of people over there, you know

I remember when it was at the bomb place On Santa Monica across from the place that sells you you like that place I know you ate there or something. You told me which place The northern food company or some shit on Santa Monica Boulevard Do you remember where the bomb squad was? No, I never went to the bomb squad The bomb squad was his first 10th planet. It was across the street from I never went in there. I heard people went in there got sick for fucking days From what the food? Oh, I've been lucky. I've never gotten food poisoning. So that wasn't me

You know two people I know got food poisoning over the weekend both eating mexican food john salami and eddie brawler Oh, really eddie brawler's a home right now fucking miserable both dying He ate tacos in san diego And not he'd be here eddie brawler would have been here. Oh shit. Why not? Rose's here. You know what the fuck family's in now. He got sick and salami sick. Oh really? Salami's got food poisoning too. So beware eating fucking mexican tacos I thought I was gonna get food poisoning yesterday. I went to that place right up this right up the corner

And as I was in there, I was like, oh, this place doesn't look good. But I was like, fuck it. I just got a couple tacos You gotta be fucking careful now, bro People ain't doing food fucking right no more. They're filthy out. What happened something My car lover was going off. Oh yours was cool. Yeah, that was yours for sure. Thanks. Oh, that's fucking crazy Is he gonna put some tony benign on or what? absolutely You know what a dirty not on me and shit It's a sunday night november 29th and shit. You're fucking up. I'm not done

I'm not doing no new england fucking loses. I know you're the kiss of death I want to be around To pick up the pieces When somebody breaks. Oh, yeah It's your fault. I wasn't there to watch jiu-jitsu Little comedy tonight people mix it all in As smart No, we don't take fucking breaks here

Let me do some shout outs and we'll get us out of here. My girl rose has to pee here zack brody What the fuck is going on the bathroom's right there Rain in basio. I'm sorry for your loss gill. Salcedo alex zamora david k jeff clark jim burgess brenden rigsby And eddie broncaccio. I love you motherfucker's eddie bees and old north bergen new jersey buddy of mine living in orlando florida down there with fucking mickey mouse

What's going on lisa? Yeah, what happened this weekend? What did I miss? Nothing Thanksgiving was fucking Thanksgiving was great. Have a nice Thanksgiving Nice fucking Thanksgiving. That's an adventure. I didn't do dick. Okay. I got invited to go to two places I went to jiu-jitsu at ten Which was fun. We got donuts We got donuts afterward and then fucking lee went home and he came back like 130 We ate some turkey Then he went to his girlfriend's house and I sat there with the baby and my wife and the fuck was sleeping pills came in from the turkey

Because the turkeys always come with sleeping pills And that was it I slept I got up like at six people are beeping me with a fuck are you I ain't going nowhere God suck. I'm staying in there. I'm getting old rows You just get fucking bored. You know, you're like I can't I'm I was on the road five out of six weeks I was on planes You know three of them for the east coast that sucks the fucking energy Yeah, I hate the fly back the fly back if I go east coast I try to stay there for a little bit No, I gotta come home. I miss the baby

You know, I miss the baby. I miss my wife So when I leave on Thursday, I come home on sunday morning So I come home in the middle of the night like a fucking burgle. I'm walking around some nights at four in the morning I just got in there 12 30. Thank god. I don't drink. I'm doing the drugs and then I smoked 15 joints Not drinking fucking decaffeinated coffee But that's the extent of it I get tired guys. That's a lot of fucking hours, man. Then during the week I get up at five So the secret is I gotta go home and fall asleep at 10, but who goes to sleep at fucking 10

My wife goes to sleep at 10. I step to one and get peace of mind. I watch tv I make notes. I try to write fucking jokes I talk to this fucking gizoo Yeah, I got a better one 130 one 130. So I'm walking around at fucking five after three days You're a zombo. You got a headache and shit from not sleeping And I can't take sleeping pills. You know, I just can't do it. I can't do it. I can't wake up. I can't wake up Who do I melatonin that shit wears off after fucking four days After four days, you're back to square one today. I saw something really fucking interesting

I saw the last 24 hours of michael jackson. Anybody see that show? Yeah God fucking damn Well, I never even heard about it god fucking damn what that poor kid was going through michael jackson Yeah, towards the end man. He had such a bad addiction He was taking pills to wake up And shit to go to sleep But the night he died he took three heavy duty fucking sleeping pills

Like three fucking that would put us to sleep for 12 hours He took a short term one A long term one and a middle medium term one. They were called benza deans or something like that And oh, they had benza deans in them some fucking craziness And the guy's like look at these three pills alone would fuck somebody up for 15 hours This guy was still fucking awake That's when they put him that pro-hypno shit the pro fit fucking whatever that shit is that they give to When they use that for for surgeries and shit

but Yeah, what is it? pro football So they he was supposed to he only administered 25 milligrams He said that half the admins he put 25 milligrams. Michael Jackson got up and poured half the fucking bottle in there That's how crazy his motherfucker was what it took him to go to sleep. I took I took um Not I took I I did some research on like drug addiction on the brain man, I have a different respect for erotics man because

Strong enough drug and granted the mistake was made to start the drug to begin with And but but you can get addicted to different kinds of things. So sometimes it's out of your control or you know, you just don't know But it basically hijacks your brain the drug the the the dopamine that's released by your brain Which causes pleasure The addiction to that pleasure you can say for that particular individual is so high that it puts, you know It puts that drug getting that drug feeling that high feeling that happiness You know more important than anything And then if you stay on it long enough

Then it's permanent You have to take that much just to be normal to feel like you're not crashing And man you think about that that's rough You never did hard drug. No, no never did hard drug or anything, but Yeah, I was I was I was looking into that into into what is addiction? Why do you know? And you just are you just like jesus christ like it's it's

It's something different man my My addiction jacked my brain But I still wanted to do comedy Like I was a functioning fucking addict You follow me. I'm like I still did my comedy. I still did movies. I still did tv I still wrote I just knew how to do an eight ball and how to fucking hide it You knew it when you saw me this motherfuckers pale You know, why is he so fucking pale people knew it, you know in your mind

You think people don't know I just watched that movie with denzel washington when he plays the pilot Yeah, oh, that's a great movie flight. Yeah, and he flips the plane. How fucked up was he? He this guy partied all fucking night Did a couple lines of coke to straighten up and got on a plane and flew it that's a reality guys That's a fucking reality people do it all the fucking time for 10 years I walked around getting on planes, you know going into hotel rooms walking out of that for fulmin from the motley Lamar Odom, you know, I did all that fucking crazy shit got on planes thinking I got on a plane one time in 1987

I was so fucking coked up In those days, there wasn't no tunnels to the plane Do you follow him saying to you like you got exposed to the outside you walked on this So if it was raining it was raining and I remember being in kennedy airport And people with jackets freezing with snorkels walking to the plane And me walking to the plane with snorkels and me walking to the plane with a t-shirt like this rose With steam coming out of my back like I fucking was an angel. You understand me floating to the fucking plane That's how fucked up I was I had the jacket in my hand sweating profusely

Steam is coming out of my fucking back. I had been snorting blow for three days didn't stop In fact the third day the pipes went We snorted coke with candles and three feet of fucking water walking around like scuba man. This is addiction right there Me and four other guys and their chick with a skirt on I had never seen before you can't write this shit I got on the plane And before the plane even took off I got up so many times to go to the bathroom to smoke This is great. And I think about this that this whole day now Then I got up so many times I got I was embarrassed. So I would just take the the little dish

The little fucking thing that you pop down And I put the blanket over my head and I do coke under the thing and I popped the blanket off and make believe I was just under hanging out. That's how fucking crazy I was rose in 1987 Damn That's how crazy I was. I think about that shit now but Then I think about michael jackson's shit That's next level because that that's a those are like pain pills sleeping pills. Oh my god, and he was on them

First off, do you know that motherfucker had a wig? That was a wig that was stitched on with the bald bald Bald like fucking lisa yap bald because when he burnt his head in the Pepsi commercial The burns were so deep He can't even grow hair there. He you could see during the Pepsi commercial as they're pulling them off That this is on fire right in the middle like a fucking little old man like in a yarmulke there He was a black jewelry. Did you see that by god? God burnt them there

From all the money he had and he should burnt them sizzled that little juice spot there And did you see the documentary that they were filming as you like right before he passed away? Okay, that was great But do you know why why let me tell you the fucking story to the documentary Here you go guys The rehearsals were going so bad That they were thinking of pulling the plug on the tour The guy that came out during the tour The dude that came out during that movie director again. Yeah that guy sent an email to the producers in england saying dog

This ain't gonna work He ain't gonna do two nights. Never mind 50 fucking nights Oh my god, he was addicted to the time of his death to demoral He was go to a doctor's office right in beveley hills and they shoot him with fucking demoral every day two three shots of fucking that Okay, that's why his lungs and his breathing was so bad his cardio Was so bad at the end. He couldn't even do the fucking dance moves no more So what he did was he went and he got hooked up with effigy Is that what you take effigy?

No, is that what you would take? Oh, I don't know. I don't even know what that is He went and took like straight up effigy, which is like an adrenaline boost And the day they said tape Tape that So we could see it and send it to us That's the documentary bitches. Oh my god. He did 40 minutes And it was perfect They green lit it. They said fine. That's bullshit. He's fucked

So what you're telling me is for the last two weeks He's been coming in here all fucked up and today he comes in jumping up and down like johnny fucking piper So they found bro when they fucking did his autopsy He had two pages of drugs in the system Two pages guys just just pill after pill after pill after it was fucking crazy It's a different type of addiction. You know why? Yeah, he was going up to people parties What do you do, sir? I'm a doctor. Oh my god. Can I ask you a question? I can't fucking sleep at night

Well, what is your physician say? Well, my physician has put me on this this this and this or by the way, you want to be the fucking doctor to save michael jackson Come to my office tomorrow. Let me check you out and do a thing He had that scam going with eight fucking doctors and bellios. I bet he didn't even have to go He was michael jackson. He was probably getting he was getting pills sent to him From all over the fucking world It's it's it's ending You know

When I saw this today, it's I couldn't live that I could never live that I I'm surprised you made it to 50 He's been hooked since 1986 1987 But what started him? I mean that I mean that aren't you isn't anybody curious about What caused him to start Whatever yeah, because look look at him as a little kid a cute little kid And then how does it get to Fucking he's a cute little kid. He's getting abused from his father You know, I mean this listen guys. There's a thousand fucking stories

But there's a thousand stories to how you react to them You know I'm saying I knew growing up What drugs were about I knew growing up what drugs are about abby My mom did coke. I didn't fucking like it. I used to say wipe your fucking nose And I wouldn't talk to her for a day. It took I didn't fucking like it I always had a thing that I was always going to smoke pot. I liked it. I like smoking pot listening to music I never dreamt to put nothing up my fucking nose That was not who I was and I was fucking in 15 12

But something happened when I was 16 that switched the fucking button What could have been I snored a coke before my mom died so you can't blame it on that What was it like don't fucking blame it on that don't even you know Don't blame it. You know everything that we do we blame something on The only person you could blame for being hooked on anything is yourself I don't blame nobody. I can't blame. I can't be mad at nobody for getting hooked on anything but my fucking self Listen man, I gambled I gambled and I fucking hated paying the bookmaker

On thursdays it bothered me to death. We've discussed this a thousand times I had a lot of fucking bad habits growing up till I did But the one I justified was cocaine Because in my mind I got something from it. I didn't get nothing from it In my mind, it was better than gambling in my mind. It was better than going to a bar and spending a hundred dollars in my mind God knows what that I know That no amount of drugs is worth dying over I know that I know that once you get to that fucking point trick your brain man. He was 400 million in debt. No

That's why he had to do this tour. How do you get This tour this tour was gonna fucking justify everything This what was the name of the tour? This is it right? Wasn't that the name of the fucking tour? Yeah, at least it doesn't matter here. This is it. This is it. If this don't work This is it michael j You lose the circus. You lose the museum at the time of his death. He was 400 million in debt and he had 25 lawsuits against him 26 lawsuits against him

And now he made two billion dollars last year He's the highest paid dead guy fucking ever ever like he brought back fucking everything It's so gross Remember you're more people like that you're more you have more worth dead than you are alive at that point He was probably too much of a nuisance at that point Like now I didn't know he owed that much and best that made people laugh now. I think even Like did anyone talk about it being like a hit or anything like that? No, and in a perverted mind in a perverted world where I came from I see things for what they are

You know dr. Mary said he didn't fucking go in there They gave him a lie detector test the whole fucking thing. He said he didn't go in there He said he administered 25 fucking milligrams You think michael jackson's gonna get up he weighed 130 fucking pounds He was five four fucking 10 or five foot 11 whatever the fuck he was at the time of his death You think he was gonna get up and throw fucking more juice in that fucking thing Somebody threw juice in that thing I'm not no conspiracy theorist

Maybe the fucking doctor did fucking kill him and took the 25 million and lost his license and got out of the debt and He could still bang women and shit like that. Remember he was banging the two chinese shakes and flying He was flying them around the world slinging dick telling people he's michael jackson's doctor So december 13 what goes down my brother talk to me man ebi ebi 5 ebi 5 our fium tita Also pay-per-view on budo videos. Yes. Okay. So what goes down talk to me man 16 man tournament 155 pound weight class the best of the best. What are you weighing that right now 155? No, shit. Can you stay at one? This is what you walk around that normal weight. You're fucking beautiful

Normal weight so Brackets are out. So it's not easy. It's not gonna be easy your bracket on my half of the bracket um, I'm fighting this guy lucas brown first and then um I'd get the winner of eddy comings and steve martinez And then on the other half of my bracket Nathan orchard's going against the guy And then honey yaya is going against the guy and then the winner of those matches will go against each other And that the winner of that would go against me. So

My lineup would potentially be If I win my first match That guy eddy comings Probably honey yaya or Nathan orchard and then I would be in the finals Rough it's a rough side of the bracket It's depending how you look at it I look at it very I look at it. I look at it very differently. I don't even look at it as easy or hard I look at it as I've been having my eye on these guys for a long time. It's one way for me to get them all in one night

So what's the purse? Uh, if you submit everybody In regulation 20 grand And then they have different brackets Yeah, and then uh, yeah winner take off 20 grand. So only the winner gets paid Fucking tremendous eddy's doing a great thing with the cbi to see him. Like I said From the bottom squad over to highland Over the burbank and now fucking his own place downtown

He's a bad motherfucker What's up with you over there cock sucky crying because of new england patriot. No, good. It's crazy. I was just thinking It's crazy that he's on ebi 5 now. Like I remember Yeah, this is like a real event now. Yeah. Well, I know that ufc fight pass just bought them somebody. Oh, cool Somebody just picked them up somebody from there Like those videos where they have all the archives. What's that station where they have all the archives? Yeah Are you see dot tv? Yeah, one of those things picked them up. So no, they're real They're fucking real man. It's gonna be it's it's fun. That's a fun format. It's

man, you it kind of strips away A lot of the problems in jiu-jitsu. I think um, the fact that you have to finish Just takes away everything. Nothing else matters the Passing guard doesn't matter mounting doesn't matter back mount doesn't matter doesn't matter. No points. No nothing No, the only thing that matters is if you can finish or not How much simpler is that, you know, you can't make it any simpler than that So the winner can call themselves a jiu-jitsu champion to me guy who submits everybody and

Playing that game without points because it doesn't matter joey. I can roll with you for an hour Okay, we'll roll an hour and in that hour You know, I'm very free with the way I roll. So I'll give you sidemen. I'll give you my bag Give you whatever just so I can practice my escapes, you know, that's kind of my mentality I'm gonna let you attack and I can defend be fun and um

You know, though, you know, you start to really simplify your game and you start to go down to the basics What works? What doesn't? Because nothing matters unless it's you know, you tap in the guy nothing matters It makes things so much easier so much simpler It's that much more pure jiu-jitsu. That's what you feel. Yeah You know, it's it's the jury. Like I said, it's the journey to the submission. What's going to happen, you know in that journey to the submission Because

There's no journey in a point tournament. There's just no journey Do you understand what I'm saying? You you and I shake hands we go. It's a journey. What can I get? What are you going to give me your neck your wrist your elbow your knee your ankle? What what can I get? What are you going to give me and it's positioning myself and see what are you going to give me? And that journey You can't credit It's not credit credit. It's not the right word

You can't compare The journey to a point tournament with the journey to the submission because there's a finality finality to it. You know what I'm saying So that that journey how do you do it? Like I've been studying that I've been studying eddy Cummings a little bit Kind of how he does his leg locks, you know, have you ever sat there and watched how he does it? It's crazy It's just me just looking at it. It's a system. It's a system. You know, it's a system Wraps your leg slowly starts to climb and take positions his legs once he positions the whole time all he's doing is holding your leg You're not really in danger He's positioning himself before he's wasting his energy trying to finish you from bad position

So he maintains control first. It's very smart And once he positions his legs in the right in the proper location, then he starts to attack the submission He understands your counter sequences. He has counters for those and keeps himself a step ahead You know very intelligent very intelligent and very systematic way to attack a problem Only way to beat that is to systematically figure out a defense To be in this tournament you have to be very intelligent Just to be invited to this it's a different intelligence of jiu-jitsu You point it out in the beginning you go to three schools

And those three teacher three basic moves with one variation different than the other Because it's an art. It's their expression of the arm. This is the way the arm bar works for them. Exactly. You know, uh it's Like I said, I fall in love with it at a late age I wish I would have felt in love with it earlier. I wish I could train every day, you know, but I can't have to recover You know, I get it when I go I go. I like it. I really enjoy it I don't enjoy the top game. I enjoy getting out of the bottom game Oh, man, you gotta come by one day even though i'm a big fat fuck

Yeah, when I breathe and I run a rest I'll get on top of your rest But my whole thing is to learn how to get out of my pack. You you've got to come by and train with me for an hour Just go by and train with me for an hour. Let me show you how simple it is Let me show you how simple it is. How long has your school been open now? Four years. You see four years We just expanded it. We just added showers locker room uh, kids room massage room doubled our mat space so we, um

Looks like the four seasons that plays, you know Like nice, you know, it's very clean Very important. That's very clean people feel safe in my gym. I feel safe in my gym. I couldn't have a messy place, dude Can't do it. So, you know As it is, you know, you're kind of already putting yourself in the risk of getting hurt You don't want to not get hurt and get some sort of a freaking skin infection or something, you know, very important so, um So, yeah, everything we do self defense and strike base jiu-jitsu you can say right

Don't get hit buddy That's the whole thing is not getting hit not getting it's uh, like I said just Walk every time I walk out of A jiu-jitsu class It's the best day of my life because I've already done the hardest thing I had to do that day Yeah, a lot of people look at it that way and it's funny because I hate fucking night classes I fucking hate them. I can't breathe. Yeah. I want to get it over with

I wake up. I got to catch that 11 o'clock class. I'm waiting to get my dick hard. That's what gets me fucking going for the day When I do kettle bells, I want to go early 11 That's seven o'clock the 10th planet San Diego's. I love them. I love boogie man martinez and his boys and there's some crazy mexicans But 6 a.m. I gotta get up at 3 30. I gotta drink coffee. I gotta smoke pot Right or wrong. You gotta get balanced. You gotta get sea legs. I just can't fucking wake up at 10 to 6 and go fucking roll I'll puke I'll fucking puke. I'll fucking puke though. Why because it's fucking I think I go waking up And just going right down. It's like what he can machado sat in that chair

And said that they were putting mats downstairs. They would sleep on the mats Then they would wake up in the middle of night and go. Hey, let's go and they were just I can't fucking do that I gotta breathe a little bit. I gotta go for a walk. Get my energy up I gotta drink coffee. I gotta smoke a few fucking buckets Then I have a great time going to jiu-jitsu But I don't want to go to jiu-jitsu and struggle from the beginning. That's why I say I got it takes me a little while Yeah, hard of you up. Yeah, you know, you know what's funny is I try to do that with my guys a lot, you know, you come in

I don't expect you to be killing people on day one, you know, you gotta it's a it's a it's gotta be a slow pace and And if you really don't want to hurt people You let them tell you when they're ready to start sparring. So just drill the positions first, you know, that's the my beginners program There's no sparring Um until they're ready if they choose to spar like if a guy's a wrestler I wrestled through high school. Okay You're not gonna let the guy spar That's the whole point let that guy spar. He kind of understands balance and movement stuff He's not afraid to get hurt for people who are afraid. I don't push him to spar. I'm like

You're gonna have to at some point even if it's positional sparring like escaped them already said go I mean at some point you're gonna have to do it, you know, but some people Feel more comfortable earlier than others You know, so you have to understand that because if you push them to spar and they get hurt That's the whole point of them being afraid now you Just screwed yourself because now they're their biggest fear of getting hurt doing it just happened So you got to let them be comfortable. I was never a fear getting hurt. I got kicked in the stomach enough from broken noses You know what, you know

It's my ankle and I just want to be able I'll go on stage with a bandage on my head You know me. I don't give a fuck jack. I don't give a fuck. I'll go on stage with a sling That wasn't my main thing my main thing I can't describe to you the anxiety. I would get on the bottom when you got me side control You you you've got to come by You have to buy I will fix that problem and then little by little. No, no, no. Now I tell people come on. Let's go Now I over that's come on. Let's go and come on. Let's go But there's certain things that you like if certain things if you take away certain things from the person on top

It's just certain things They freak out and the and their escape probably comes a lot more obvious You know what? I mean, there's certain things you can't give that guy on top of you And once you take that away The escapes will come because there's no control You know It's great when you can do whatever you want, you know When you're on the bottom and turn and adjust however you want the problem is when somebody can hold you there

stick you there And then position and attack. Does that do you understand what i'm saying? So long as you can move on the bottom So it's a it's a matter of detaching yourself from your opponent And understanding the where the attachment is and and just not giving the opponent that and once you understand that Being on the bottom is nothing because there's no they can't what where's the danger? I want to see how you're gonna get me if I keep keep you away from this this and this go. What else do you have? There's nothing once you shut certain doors They can't and they can't get through those doors like everything else the escapes are coming easy, man

Give me an example can't get through the doors frames frames certain frames They use with your arms You can't get through You can sit there and push against that frame as much as you want You're not gonna get through So you got to make an adjustment you got to get around this frame

So i'll sit there and i'll frame you And i'll wait I'll wait for you to move See what are you gonna do because I know Because I've been there so many times. I know you're either gonna do a go this way B do this or C do that. I know what your three options are. There's nothing else you can do That's why I let people side mount me and mount me. I want to see something new. I want you to catch me So I can add something else to the system

So that's how you test the system you put yourself in that same spot over and over and over and you start taking notes They're doing this they're doing this they're doing this they're doing this Okay, first problem. They're doing this. What's an easy solution for that? Some solutions are easier than others You know, so that's kind of how I look at jujitsu You know put yourself deep in a triangle You circle one way It's gonna get a lot tighter

You circle the other way It gets a lot looser So what direction do you think you should circle the way it gets tighter or looser? So you're in a triangle now. You already know which way to go I already know which way to go How much more do you think you're gonna escape a triangle just by knowing which direction you should circle? If you circle one way for sure, it's gonna get worse Do you know what direction that is? No, wouldn't that be valuable information? Yes

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Off your first door the cocksucker. So I want to thank club w I want to thank texture. I want to thank honor and hittisigs. I want to thank my man Javier Vazquez I had a fucking think about that before i'm gonna have to focus and watch him on ebi 5 december 13th Go live to the orpheum theater Or go to budo videos.com right now and get the pay-per-view and you can eat chips and shit Listen, it's gonna be a great week of fights. You got the ufc on saturday and you got Javier Vazquez on fucking sunday, right? So what do you want from me? I want to thank you again

What's the name of the school? Uh, Gracie jiu-jitsu and rancher hukamanga. There we go with the fucking Gracie name everybody's fucking making 10 bucks It's all over it goes all the way back to brazil I fucking love it. What's up rose? You're just sitting there relaxing Smiling li you good. I'm great, man. You're picking me up tomorrow the quarter to ten to go to jiu-jitsu I guess all right beautiful. I don't suck it. Don't forget about me. I love you guys See you tuesday or wednesday. We haven't decided yet Uh, have a great weekend this weekend long island saturday night

Governors levy town 7 30 and nine o'clock show or 9 45 or some shit Come on down. It's a savage dad tour the beginning. It starts in long island. I love you guys stay black Have a great two days This show is brought to you by club w go to club w.com slash joey To get 50 off of your first order of the great wine coming from club w and they're a wine club that changed everything They uh, you have a 100% no risk guarantee that you'll love what they send you go to club w.com slash joey To get 50% off your first order Go to texture.com slash history

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