Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #344 - Michael Dowd and Walter Yurkiw

Episode Date: January 5, 2016

Michael Dowd and Walter Yurkiw, former NYPD featured in the new documentary "The Seven Five," calls in to Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt. This podcast is brought to you by: Blue Apron: Go to blueapron.com/joey to get your first two meals free Club W. Go to www.clubw.com/joey to get 50% off of your first order of wine curated just for you Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   Recorded live on 01/04/2016.
   Music:  I Don't Care Anymore - Phil Collins I Wanna Be Around - Tony Bennet Everything She Wants - Wham!  

This show is brought to you by Blue Apron. Blue Apron sends gourmet recipes and all the fresh ingredients need them right to your door. Our listeners get their first two meals for free when they go to blueapron.com slash joey that's blueapron.com slash joey. The show is also brought to you by clubw.com. Club W is the wine club that changed everything. Right now our listeners are getting 50% off of your first order when you go to clubw.com slash joey that's clubw.com slash joey and the show is brought to you by audit.com. Use code word church to get 10% off all of the great optimization products. Oh shit. Monday January 4th 2016 you bad motherfuckers. You get a second chance

again. Fuck your resolutions. You're all about one thing motherfuckers. Oh shit. What? Cause I just can't win. I don't care anymore. I don't care anymore. The church of what's happening now. That's a fucking jam Lee. So there's a jam. I didn't know he was a drums player. Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. He's a great drummer. Happy new year cocksuckers. Uncle Joey here

with my main man Lee Syat. We're here to take 16. We didn't take the week off because I was sick last week. We took the week off because there was nothing fucking happening. You know what we're going to come in here and talk and bring burn a fucking gas and fuck it. We just took the week off. We're refreshed. We hope you had the same. I'm sorry if we left you on the fucking hook. I got a lot of emails I answered last night people like what the fuck Joey are you okay. Now it was just that listen man we've been doing this straight for a long fucking time and I'm taking some time off for company next two weeks. Also nothing staying at the house with the family and enjoying this. We're moving offices. So shit's fucking happening. What's up dog.

I had a great last couple of weeks. It's a I don't remember and not the my life compared to a lot of people who work nine to five is pretty relaxed but I don't think we've taken time off ever. I don't remember like the last time with like two years ago when I went home to Boston in the winter. I don't remember. It's just that you know I went away in November. I mean it just got to the point where you need a break. It was between the stand up. You know I changed my schedule this week this year a lot. I'm not going out as much you know because I want to pay more attention to you guys. We're moving offices next week same backdrop. We're just going to have a little off the TV screen still fucking we're still going to be bad motherfuckers. We're just

moving to an office closer to the house. This was the first office I wanted a year ago three years more than a year ago four years ago a friend of mine had an office over there and it was just convenient place. You had didn't have we weren't in a hallway so we could spark up a fucking number and we can make things at home for you and that's it man. So that's what we're doing. Everyone needs like there's something like sometimes when I talk to my parents because I try to talk to them four or five times a week. There's only so many things you can talk about and so many times you can tell the same stories. So it's nice like I was just sitting at home and I was like oh I haven't thought about this story in a while I haven't I haven't even said this so I'm sure

I'm sure for you it's nice to just not have to talk as much. Well you know what I was focusing I couldn't wait for the end of the year to come. I cannot wait guys fucking in November I cannot wait for New Year's Eve so I could just take some time off. It just I knew it I knew I just wanted I could not fucking wait and the more I tried to slow down the busier it got little things kept popping up. I still got the podcast I still got my family I still got all these responsibilities. You know the worst thing to do is that people do that I did for years and then used to get pissed off was I became a regular person and you guys are gonna go what are you talking about? Let me tell you what I'm talking about. I became I bought into this shit

I bought into the mindset that people slowed down at the Thanksgiving and I played into it my first three years here and then I started working. I never really liked dropping the ball during the holidays. It's the fucking holidays. Once Christmas day is over with my mind I'm about to kill somebody like I'm ready to go to work I'm ready to fucking start doing stand-up I'm ready to start acting whatever the fuck is gonna happen let's make it happen like I'm one of those guys like I get fucking anxious like I'm ready. Is it because like when like if I if you take a couple weeks off of working out when you start working out again it's gonna take it's gonna suck and it's gonna take you a while to get going again so is it because now like like you've been saying for the past few

days this week it's not like not like everyone's gonna be doing stuff. In my world this is dead like this isn't dead for me I still own a rock and roll but I could tell that everybody else is dead like it's today people just telling stories and what they got and what they ate for Christmas and how the flight was. A lot of people ain't flying back till today. The flights go straight now till Wednesday maybe Thursday. If you're smart you stay home till Thursday or Friday. If you can yeah if you can why you have you know I'm not talking about the I'm talking about generalities here while people like to travel. I would never fucking travel over the holidays every fucking year you see people stuck and they make sure they show them tea on the news

in those cots in Chicago and shit. See that like young girl crying I felt so bad she was just solving. Listen man that's time of the year you're throwing a 50% fucking 50% whatever the fuck it is 50-50 chance. Even if it's not like even if you're flying from here where there's no snow the plane could be coming from Chicago or somewhere else it's it's scary like that's for comedians it's amazing how nonchalant you guys are about flying even though you could get you're a big money week could be canceled at the drop of a hat if there's a whole bunch of snow. Okay but the week starts on Monday so you already have a you already know what's going on you already know what's going on on Monday if you're a smart person you're looking at the national weather on Monday

and they're telling you there's a snowstorm in fucking Chicago hitting Monday dropping 24 inches you ain't going to New York City on Friday. I ain't no fucking weatherman but if something's in Chicago on fucking Wednesday it's going to be a live and kicking in New York on Friday. Right. If it's no 24 inches in Chicago guess what we're going to get 9 to 12 in fucking New York you don't need to be a fucking thermal honor just whatever they fucking need to be you know they all call themselves like Johnny Storm or you know Jamaiki Thunder you ain't dick you're making a hypothesis whatever the fuck that is an educated guess the ones in L.A. are scary that Terry but they're terrible listen yeah my wife wake up is it coming down I think I don't know it's sunny and

fucking 60 she couldn't believe it this morning yeah they've been staying it's gonna come down Sunday night you know they scare the shit out of these fucking white people now they're doing 40 instead of 60 that's all this is so if that's what I look at I look at the weather remember that the situation we had in Boston I'm like I'm saying you get the fuck out of there yeah I know on Monday you know if you know anything about weather patterns you know if they got hit now Colorado is different but if it's headed out Iowa and East you're dead and you see what direction it's going and let's say it throws off a little bit if it throws off a little bit from Iowa Boston's getting killed that's right in the way of Boston so it doesn't take so you can

contact with the club hey man what's going on well now some club owners are fucking morons some club owners will take the chance and guess what happens Lee yeah so you get 12 inches on Wednesday night or Thursday you cancel the show Thursday but Friday ain't nobody going out even if you shovel the roads right so you understand you see a big snowstorm coming you know your area as a businessman you've lived there you know listen let's call it let's reschedule this motherfucker and bring a magician in this weekend and handle our losses we still got the tickets people's money they're not going nowhere they're gonna come see Joey we'll just reschedule them real quick we'll just what's your schedule look like Joey right you know for me to go to Buffalo and for them to get

two feet of snow for me to do one show on saturday night or two it's happened to Thompson girl last year he got some land ended up doing like one and a half shows Jesus do you ever get bummed out about the weather like my dad was in nightclubs for majority of my childhood and if it rained I just I knew he was gonna be he wasn't angry at me but he would be angry like it would ruin his night because he knew at 3 p.m. that no one was going to come to his parties well anybody who's a success a successful bar owner knows except for fucking a tornado or a 12-inch snowstorm and even then people come out if you got a real bar listen you're not going to get the 190 you expected but you're gonna get 60 alcoholics down you get 60 alcoholics out there everybody knows when it's

gonna snow and they're gonna go let me go get a couple let me go get a few packs of cigarettes and a bottle to bring home I might as well stop at Joan Mary's and get a fucking cocktail yeah you know and on the east coast it's different out here like you said it was gonna rain and the whole city was gonna shut down because it's some fucking rain but I'm talking about uh somebody who's gonna go out is do you think when I was doing blow and I wanted to get my dick sucked and I was getting an eight ball and I had money in my pocket that a full of snow scared me right get those fucking snowshoes and I'd walk all the way up to Joan Mary's or when I lived in Colorado I'd walk up to the stone bridge or whatever the fuck I was I walked up yeah if you're doing what you're doing if you're

real you're out the weather don't stop nobody but pussies rain rain don't stop a coke fiend or somebody's gonna do some pills and go to a bar and have three cocktails rain don't stop nobody from getting a piece of pussy right well you you had a thing for a few years that you were going to like really snowy locations during like the winter months is it because you figured like those people will be able to handle and they'll come out either way or it was like it was when I first heard of it and you did a couple years in a row I was like so I was very surprised I go to Columbus and I go to Buffalo in January usually yeah it's in Minnesota the last couple years Minnesota oh one year I went to Minnesota I just I like the cold weather I like it so I

want to feel it I want to feel what they're feeling I want to make them come out in their fucking weather I like that shit Buffalo's a great city man and they don't give a fuck about weather they had 11 feet of snow last year they were still cold they don't give a fuck about weather if you're funny and they want to party they'll come down that's what I'm saying so the weather affects it to a degree you know in the winter time but I've seen people get stuck in cities people shut down you know and you can't do nothing for two or three days that I wouldn't mind if I got weed well I got a way to get weed and somebody delivers to the hotel I'm good I'll just sit there for two days and write jokes you're doing me a fucking favor I'll do laundry I'll do

my own laundry downstairs I'll get a whole new set of clothes I'll wash my workout clothes and I'll keep fucking working out until the plane leaves that's something that I actually wanted to work on this year is not getting as upset when there's like nothing like when there's no nothing I can do to control it like I'm a big I'll beep or get mad at someone driving really slow in front of me or if like my flight's canceled I'd get upset before and there's nothing I've gotten better at it but there's literally nothing you can do to make it better bad thing I had mother's day and my flight was at six right at home till nine o'clock at night 10 30 at night then get home and I got a little hot but I knew I got hot when they didn't tell us the information that's what gets me hot

when American Airlines puts you on a flight and you sit there you have the connecting flight from you go to LAX to Nashville and then let's oh no you go to LAX Chicago and you collect the Chicago to go to Nashville you board the plane in Chicago the tater gonna defrost the fucking plane then defrost and they tell you there's something wrong with something they got to bring a part to get off the fucking plane that's what pisses me off oh the airlines are the worst that gets me fucking hot I'm not saying the fact that that you know that they delay things are gonna happen yeah that's why I take them first motherfucking flight out because those motherfuckers are never delayed they'll push them out because they know let's at least get one flight out there to get it there to

pick up the people that are coming back or whatever the fuck they're going the airlines will take a shot with that that's what I do have to give them but I got one delay last year I really can't complain one or two delays last year I really can't one was a 10 hour one yeah that was a long one but I had weed I had a pen a vapor pen I had an e-cigarette I had everything covered so if something I got my iPod which I lost this last time on the way back from Vegas I gotta call Southwest again you know you just travel you just get used to it's life you just get fucking used to it you know what I can never get used to when I first got here I had the worst thing going on I can never get used to working on a set really oh I hated it baseball I fucking hated it hated it

being on that set that was my first big time on a set hey how you doing hey you call tomorrow seven o'clock okay seven I get there eat some breakfast and we'll get back to you so what's going on I don't see my number on the sheet they give you a sheet with the number of the scenes they're going to shoot and who's in the scene you're looking at the at the sheet going okay I'm number 38 number 38 is the last scene of the day oh no intercall seven in the morning seven in the morning so what do you do so you got two options if you don't have paper pad sometimes they put you in a box bro sometimes in the big movies you got a little trailer we got tv it's you don't get no reception you get wk you get like fucking different channels when you're up

in shit in Telemundo you even know this how Telemundo comes through you don't need an antenna nothing you don't even need a tv just put your hand up with aluminum foil and you'll get fucking Telemundo and Korean stations around here and Korean station will get through they fucking play on the radio and shit they don't give a fuck Telemundo always comes up anywhere I've been to Telemundo don't sing you hear maracas and people dancing they'll fucking tell a novella but uh what was he talking about I don't even want to travel like travel travel yeah no I listen no the movies you're fucked those sets and now the movies are here and then I think but the third movie I figured it out I think by uh American gun I had to figure that and that's the first time I I brought a book

and I brought a I brought a notebook and I brought a pencil you know yeah and I wrote a little bit that was the first time then I figured out people were bringing iPods wow I could take a walk and smoke a joint and then I figured out people were bringing DVDs like in the longest shot I had a DVD play so I just started bringing Bruce Lee movies and shit we just watched movies in my trailer with the air conditioner on what was that like so on some movies you're there for like a day right if you're there for weeks are you do you have to be on set every day all day just in case they need you get there and there's numbers all right so I'm number six on the longest you're on I was number like 11 or something like that as long as you're on so they have different scenes scene number 38

doesn't have me scene number 62 doesn't have me scene 11 has me so I got two scenes till I work now I go on the set and I see how quick they're moving uh they're moving like fucking molasses so what do you think about 12 o'clock yeah 12 one o'clock after lunch shit I go back to my trailer I roll the joint I go for a fucking walk I burn that motherfucker and I come back and put a movie on and I sit there so you wouldn't be nervous about missing like I I'm the king of nervous about stuff like that like I would always be nervous they won't sometimes they'll switch your number where were you I was in the back looking at a bird I will hurry up suit up they're looking for you that's but you know if they're into a scene and they're in the beginning of the scene oh you got time

especially if people have to fall or something the firecrack has to go off or something that's they have to turn the cameras around if you're shooting on the tv show it's two ways if you're shooting on a movie maybe they take it from all angles when I shot analyze that I was on the set from 8 30 to fucking 750 Jesus me and Anthony Lumpaglia all day all day with fucking what's his name from stripes directing all fucking day Ramis Ramis oh cool and he was in front of us they shot us from you it was deniro so deniro shoots from 12 10 2 3 9 4 8 and 6 o'clock and you have to do it all those times all those times I was shocked by that I want to go see them tape the new the Matthew Perry show with my mom we were there for like four hours and they tape like

not even the first act of the show yet and we we just got up and left it was but it was just too much it was like we were there for like four hours well that shit takes time and they got all the money in the world so if the director wants to move it's three takes boom boom boom one for you one for me do it the way it says on the book do it the way he wants to do it not do it your way move on to the next one let's shoot from this angle let's shoot from this angle I don't need you in this shot Lee go sit down for five minutes because I don't see you I'll just have a stand in me I'm a professional I stand in I'll wait there and stand in oh so for like over the shoulder my shoulder you can't see bubba bubba bubba they're not gonna see you on this shot go take a walk so

with like stars like denier or something leave for that all those shots are never them no sometimes they walk away oh get water I'll stay there sometimes if I'm not doing wrong I'm doing my room let's do it let me all I'm doing is getting better with denier I wouldn't leave I sat like glued with the next one yeah I'm learning I'm learning so when I do the take keep doing the take keep doing the take I'm only gonna get better I'm only gonna get more confidence I might learn something the fucking takes do they always shoot movies in single camera have there been any multi-cam movies I'm just thinking about about how that might work while they shot the longest yard for example when they shoot when I shot spider man there was cameras everywhere oh yeah the big of

the budget let's put a camera they put cameras everywhere you know with the longest yard it was the first time they used that technology they're using the other file now with the camera on the string oh yeah there were some scenes we shot with a camera on a string fucking you know catapults and cameras and people hanging down and all the same time I guess for the football game it would make sense yeah for the football game you have to shoot it for me because you have to have a camera on the running back um who's ever gonna make the tackle on the quarterback you have to have cameras on different people so in editing yeah you can put it together so you have to have all those cameras on the stars of the fucking team the longest yard they they had shot the same people

that shot the other football movie had shot the longest yard okay but I guess it was slower for some people so those football scenes you have to hike and then the guy has to get the ball and there's a camera there so you see him running through but you want to see him from the fans perspective and you also want to see him from the other side it was very hard to shoot a sports movie it's very hard to shoot a lot of fucking movies man it's just hard and now that I've done it when I watch movies I know what they're going through you know I know what they're going through when I see a movie getting shot and I understand you know I shot low and low to SVU in fucking January you think they gave a fuck it was 92 below zero and the winds were coming off the Hudson and

fucking I was down on canal street so those little winds were making me fuck and in the video you see me with a t-shirt on like it's fucking yesterday oh yeah like a robot like it's yesterday in between takes you put your jacket on you warm up they warm up your hands but when you're right there you're right there jack that's you talking like normal you can't go it's fucking cold you got to fucking sit there and go okay this is what's going on you know when I when I shot that movie I also talked to the guy that was in that boat movie from the guys from Boston the perfect storm okay a guy from Buffalo the quarterback from the other team from the mean machine oh yeah guy from Buffalo whatever his name is and I got friendly with

him and we were talking about that movie and he was telling me it was four weeks they're just underwater training so before the movie and they pay you for this but before the movie starts you got to go and jump in the ocean and you know there's sharks and they take that fear away from you and if you know you got to say that shit in the meetings so what does this entail you know you're going to be in the water you're going to be in the ocean you know that right it's cold there's no heaters you know some of the scenes they do in a pool and they throw ink in the water and looks like the ocean but some of the scenes you got to jump in for two seconds when we did the fucking thing scene when we all jump in the mud in the longest show okay we get there we got there that morning

and it was frozen Nellie was concerned because he had a tour that weekend he didn't want to get sick it was fucking freezing that but once motherfucker started jumping in you know they were like Joe you jumping they came up to me like you don't have to jump in and you don't want I was like what are you fucking kidding me jump in all these gorillas are gonna jump in what are you gonna think of me if I don't jump in right and for stuff like that though could you do multiple takes of that you probably can't we'd have to read takes of that how do you have to take showers and change they wipe this off we went cut then we all ran off they take they take your clothes off they dried us down they had heaters there we got heated up we put shirts on they blew dry our hair

again so it took like four fucking hours to do three takes she's they had a smoothing out the water dry off the patches where people don't see the fucking thing is acting really fun is it just soup because everything I hear about it from the audition process all the way through doesn't seem like it'd be fun at all like but is a process of acting just a great time it's fun I think all of this is fun did you he wants to fight see and I call those kind of sense some at the end he goes I love doing this I could tell I could tell you love doing it if you don't love doing something that much don't do it if you're doing it for your dad don't do it if you're doing it for your friend don't doing it that's what makes things easy I always thought coming from a stand-up

background doing acting was always like my break every 90 days like it took my mind away from stand-up and I worked on a set for 11 days three days six days I will cancel three weeks of work not because of the money just because I wanted to save of the moment I like it a lot of comics don't like it I fucking love it I love just dropping this shit for fucking four weeks going to New Orleans and working three days on a movie and even though it's overnight whatever I don't that don't bother me man that shit don't bother me I think it's fun I think all these aspects for me are fun but I really enjoy acting but I also enjoy stand-up the problem with stand-up is it's a business and the business side of it fucking gets me depressed even more so than acting well

the the business side of acting you know you're getting yourself into it scale I'm a lead I'm a fucking union guy so they pay me scale so I know is that sometimes if it's a tv show you get more than scale because you're doing a guest star but for the most part you're you're working for fucking scale which I know and I have an option whether to do it or not you're following me everything is fun until you throw the business aspect of it at least it is for me when I gotta ask you for money it sucks dick you know it sucks dick doing stand-up Monday through Friday when you're starting off it's like I can't describe it but I could just imagine getting into photography for the first time or getting into drawing art or just taking colors and putting them on the head so whatever

the fuck the sheets called you know I'm not I'm not a internet or or you know anything anything you do for the first time that's what makes you fall in love with that now you want to seek more knowledge about it and fucking hunt it down and learn from different directors and anything I'm not plumbing you know there's some people to you and me plumbing is a bunch of pipes but to some guys their family's been doing it for fucking eight generations and this means everything to them when they weld the pipe when they fucking whatever prepped the pipe with the copper and know that you know you're fucking you know that that's what it is a job is something that you do from nine to five a fucking something you love you do all the time

it's not work it's not work for me when I answered 63 emails yesterday wasn't work for me I enjoy talking to people about addictions and thank you for listening to the podcast man I'm happy that you're getting something out of this you know if not I wouldn't fucking do it I want to hear what people have to fucking say to me you know Danielle Gantt sends me a letter every fucking week with his family and trees and pictures and it's all very interesting to me these are the people that listen why is somebody this nice that takes pictures with a fucking sweater on and shit even listen to the junk we got the fucking talk about but that's what you know you always want to seek more knowledge when you're I look at fucking Carlos Condor they were talking about he's taking

movement classes and Carlos Condor never stopped never stopped and was someone he had like 500 strikes or something you know people always go well I'm taking time what what time are you taking what have you done what have you fucking done there's no time off you know I was talking about how the holidays taper off how people get lost in the holidays and they and I get it I understand for some people that they taper off during the holidays I did it for years and then I realized that when I was in town I would book shit because everybody else was gone for years I would hit my biggest jackpots in December every do you know I shot an NFL commercial Christmas Eve one year I swear to my fucking daughter I've never heard of this what happened an NFL promo I booked it on the

22nd and we shot it at 7 a.m the 24th of December they must have really wanted that stuff doesn't really happen around that like what was it for was it for the playoffs or for the playoffs NFL let's go let's do this shit I shot two promos I still see the guy around town he lives around town he was like hey Joey how you doing he shops at Sherman Oaks that fucking routes oh okay so I see the guy in there on the fucking time so it's it's this is the shit that happens when everybody else isn't paying attention I used to pay attention I met Nick DiPallo at an audition we were they were gonna fire Artie Lang from the Norm McDonald's show you know when I went on that December 20th the year I fucking went all the way to the end for Get Shorty the sequel

they told me December 19th that I didn't get it all these things happened the movie with with Ving Reims and and the brother black guy bled when they were gonna box undisputed okay that I booked at that time of the year around here is when they went to see me at the comedy store shit happens but people like oh no I gotta I gotta go back home for the holidays my buddy had the job on fucking training day which one he listened to me he had the job on training they have gone into into Paul's neighborhood and talking to gangbangers and getting them all in the movie for 200 miles a day they were paying him 400 miles a day they offered him like a six week position he was he was coming home telling me how he would hear Denzel rehearsing with Ethan

hawk in the other room like he this was an education of a lifetime he came to me after two weeks and he said I'm going back home for the holidays and I said what are you gonna do about that job he goes I just want to go home for the holidays and I remember looking at him they were giving him $2,000 a week and he left the job after he got two checks because that's all he needed he didn't care about the outcome most of the good things that happen happen when everybody else is fucking doing something else and he just didn't want that job then because that sounds like that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard one year like January 10th I used to get the breakdowns in those days the breakdowns you get them at like four in the morning somebody gets them steals them from an

agency and sends them to you and then they send them to lead and that was my career the breakdowns are where all the roles for movies come out they let you know what's getting shot who's looking for what how many days blah blah blah blah so let's say it would say a breaking bed we're looking for a fat Cuban with a mobster look we're looking for a Jewish guy that's bald and he has to be under five foot six you follow me we're looking for a black dude with a big dick and a one arm and you look at that and I remember I'll never forget sitting here like everybody was out of town working and I'm like this year I'm gonna sit here because I would leave the whole month of January in the past where would you go Syracuse Miami Improv South Carolina Myrtle Beach Club the comedy cabana

yeah I would disappear for the month of January go to all those places and work and then come back in February for pilot season and there's one year boom characters wanted extreme looking guys New York City looking guys I looked and I was by the man too and they said male head shot still whatever I looked at the address I had my wife looking up on the map and she goes that's an office I said you know what I ain't doing nothing today I put that envelope in an arm my head shot with a fucking letter I look she cast pretty woman the lady who cast by the man too whatever her name was cab cast pretty woman so I said I love pretty women you know I know something with pretending good look it up something pretending who the fuck do you think you're dealing with

so I uh I uh walked to her I went to her office in Beverly Hills and I walked up the stairs and and I went to get the door and the door was open I walked in the assistant was sitting there and I fucking gave her the envelope and she's like what's going on I go nothing Diane Clinton didn't who the fuck do you think you're dealing with dog I'll never forget that name as long as I live you understand when she put me in spider-man fucking too because I went down and put the envelope in because I basically did the work you know and that's what happens that time of the year nobody else is prepared and there I am with my dick in my hand ready to fucking go I think that's the most frustrating part for people trying to get jobs is that it

it very rarely it seems matters all about like your qualifications I think probably close to 60% of it is who's there like who they know and who's there and the hustle that you showed maybe you showed up at six in the morning look if I go get a job I show up at six when you pull up I want to be there seven fifteen that's the guy that gets the job if it's a construction job he's out there freezing that's the guy I want he's been out here attention to lose the flag 45 fucking minutes everybody else is getting coffee smoking cigarettes thinking about their future I told you this that before the fucking break I wrote a list of things I wanted to do yeah I wanted to go to Taco Bell I want to go to strip club well I went to the strip club one night by myself on a Sunday and I went

to the store and I got off the one side I didn't know where that was I knew it was somewhere in the fucking valley I haven't been to a strip club guys and fucking since Eddie Bravo was a DJ at the one by the airport and even that night like I didn't get a lap dancing and I just went to pick up Eddie one time I went with Joe for something else that was it but to be in a strip club like a man and sit there and watch women dance and shit so I get off the fucking 170 and there it is lights and stuff there's a pool hall next to it I make a u-turn I go if I got a park in the back I ain't gonna go in there if I got a park in the front the fuck it I'll go in there pull up to the front boom there's a parking spot I have no valet park and none of that shit I walk

in there the place is dark all right I walk in there and I see fucking some people getting private dances I walk into the back I look around there nobody says dick to me people's guys are sitting there like a like fat chicks are the dance waiting for waiting for somebody to come ask them to dance they're just sitting there like and I go you know what this is as creepy as it was the last time I came to this strip club I'm out of here I walk out I get in the fucking car and I look up and there's a girl going like this hi hi I'm like hi I'm like what the fuck and I look at and she's like come back come back I'm like what she's like come back I get out of the car and I go what's up she's oh my god I can't believe you're in here I she was like I listen to the podcast I'm sure

her boyfriend listened to the fucking podcast so I start talking to she's really fucking nice you know she's got a great body and stuff and she goes here's the menu what do you want to do and I go I don't know I haven't been to a strip club in years but they they got like a 40 minute lap dance or 20 minute lap dance or something they got a 10 minute one nude 40 minutes I got a 20 minute one I said fucking give me one for 20 minutes I was okay for about eight minutes I had like a nervous breakdown the first six and then I thought I loosened up my dick got hard you know that's when you realize you're okay once your dick gets hard you're fine the first three minutes it was brutal the first three minutes it was fucking brutal it was going through your head what was going through

my head suicide if I had a gun on me I would shoot her and then shoot me right there in North Hollywood where the fuck I was I'm not used to that stuff Lee was she facing you or was it like oh yes she was facing me she was gorgeous she was 28 she was Russian she was beautiful I've never been in it oh it creeped me to fuck out and you know what like I got a heart on I I'm not in my pants I fucking sat there for the last eight minutes while she rubbed on me like half dead dizzy like I was having a diabetic fit and then once she got off we talked for a little while and then I went home my little load in my pants and dried it with a tissue and fucking watch that's the honeymoon was there some shit last Sunday night that's what I did Doug but I got it

over with now I gotta hit Taco Bell I was gonna say can you please tell us the people what the next thing on the list was it was Taco Bell cleaning up my closet it was all shit that I fucking hate doing and I had like six things on the list and I did four out of the six six things that give me fucking anxiety that's what I put on the list did you do Taco Bell not yet that shit gives me anxiety when was the last time you were in Taco Bell was it that fucking bad I like it when I'm drunk and high but other than especially here it just seems stupid when I can go get four tacos for ten bucks that are like actual tacos it's the only time I would go wait let me ask you something what's up you and I drive on that fucking road all the time have you ever seen that Taco Bell not

packed and have you ever never never I mean the lines around the fucking block not lines around the block I'm exaggerating but the lines are around the island to the end of the parkway all fast food fast food is always busy and that's I don't his diet why don't other people think like you about the tacos how much of the taco is a taco here I don't get it here maybe a dollar maybe it might even be a dollar here I don't know how much tacos are there but it's the only reason I ever went is because like I was just so tired like after day's work I didn't want to get out of the car so like I can see that if you're busy but if you live it'd be like going to in Buffalo going to 7-eleven and getting a buffalo wing it's like it's a 7-eleven rather than

going and going to anchor bar or something it's gross I just wanted to get some shit over with because I don't do shit you know let me tell you something man oh I'll eat the shit out of it I'm just saying it's I feel that's the one I feel bad about that and like KFC I haven't been doing years that one always made me feel like shit I make no notes in a notebook I go to jujitsu I throw kettlebells around I do a podcast I hang out with my wife and my kid that's about all anything else I do I'm scared of doing or something like I talk to myself out of it and something really interesting happened last week I saw the fucking 7-5 for the first time and do you want me to be struck in my head about this guy Mike Dowd and Chickie and Walter you

know what struck me fucking I was a little off last week wasn't I not Lee some days I was it was because of this like no I'm not super old but I could tell some days it was because I felt something when I watched that fucking thing I felt that that first thought that was me you know it's and then I realized that that wasn't me that that was still me that I've been lying to myself for fucking years like lying about my who I am like what happened was Lee at some point in my life I got really fucking scared or something like something scared the shit I remember I was telling you man that my friends uh Fernie and fucking Conti were all became bible beaters and yeah my other buddy like became

bible beaters and it was like they saw something that one they made them uh slowed down with the drugs or whatever the fuck one guy's not really a fucking bible beat he says you know Joel Osteen had but I just found out he was doing blow a year ago so it's all a lie anyway but I think like I was fucking out of my mind like everybody who saw that they're like Mike has no respect and you know when we saw the one guy he looked like a cop but Mike was a fucking real deal and the other guy was like Mike was a perpetrator whatever a perp or whatever yeah that was the creepiest one when I heard Mike talk you know I never signed up for anything Lee I never signed up for anything in my life I was a boy

scout for three days I never belonged to nothing you know it just never fit me I always felt out of place you know why Lee because I was different in my head not because I was a comedian or something because of the thoughts I would get as a young man and what I wanted to do you know when I was 16 I didn't know what I wanted to do I knew I wasn't gonna get a fucking job I never had an aspiration of getting a job and once I found out you could take shit I knew I wasn't getting a fucking job like I was like I'm not fucking getting a job like I'm telling you the truth that's my friend I'm telling the podcast listen it's how I fucking felt you know like guys I got in trouble for fucking putting a machine gun to somebody and taking the coke like I didn't give a fuck and the

only thing that really stopped me from doing the crime spree was that I couldn't get anybody from North Bergen that I trusted see because having somebody with you that you trust is a different fucking story as a partner yeah now I got locked up in 88 and I came back out and I still fucked around with drugs and sold coke and made little moves but when I went back home in 93 I did a couple small those little fucking drug heists I'm not gonna lie to nobody and tell you that I didn't and I made really good money on the second one it got me started with my comedy career got me an apartment it got me a little car it paid off a lot of the debt I had it paid off and I liked it when Mike Downard is talking about that shit the neck my neck hairs was sticking up because I know

I know what it's like what about Chicky when they're talking about that first one where they he called Chicky to go get the bag of money and he was saying like how your heart just doesn't stop beating even till like 20 minutes after I am on a drunk I am still hooked on that jump like that was my biggest thrill like when I shovel snow in Snowmass Village to watch some guy's house that sold coke and he would leave and I figured out a way to go into his apartment and just take a half ounce of coke every day without him knowing what was going on and then at night I go back then by $40 worth of coke and tell him I was broke and nothing was going on and but like I just played this role of a guy who didn't do blow meanwhile I'm robbing the guy every fucking day without even

no remorse or not thinking twice about it do I feel good about this today not at all I'm not glamorizing this at all I'm just telling you who the fuck I really was deep down inside so when you're watching this documentary did a part of you ever been like fuck I should have been a cop that would have been a great cover no like it worked great I wasn't a cop no I know you weren't a cop I'm a criminal there was no charade in my life I never wanted charade in my life I could have been a cop all those guys that I went to school got hired as cops early on I had no police record till later on that's not who I wanted to be at all I was not gonna you know embarrass that fucking thing and do that I didn't like dirty cops when I was young when they were coming to my

mother's bar oh my mom had the place in the Bronx and they were coming for payoffs for numbers it's not that I didn't like them they just didn't appeal to me I'm not talking about Mike as a cop I'm talking as Mike the mental state of might and my mental state okay like when he he didn't know either see oh he didn't know he became a cop early on and he didn't know yeah he said he was clean for like two years yeah he was really he didn't know he was really a gangster once he saw it once you see the opportunity he was all in I mean listen when you're about to go kidnap a woman that's what it drives you to when you're that crazy listen to me bro I I had done a lot of weird things up to I kidnapped Vella kidnapped Vella kidnapping Vella was a

little high for uncle Joey uncle Joey wasn't that fucking smart I wasn't that prepared at that time that was an unprepared move on my part I knew it going in I knew it wasn't going to work going in but the addiction was making me do something different the addiction was always there and it makes you do something it it helps you a lot in making really bad decisions as we all know that's part of the addiction is it's crazy and he he spoke about it in the documentary he had a drinking issue and other things and I was just watching it and then with some of the stuff that he did you wonder like and some of the stuff maybe that you did if you weren't an addict would you have done half the stuff the same way and listen it could be an addict to the money yeah addicted to

the money fuck yeah eight thousand a week that's what thousand minimum that's just a week that's sixteen thousand a month cash no no eight thousand each a week I thought oh eight thousand each a week I didn't know that's what I thought it's very interesting when I was watching it I looked at it from a different perspective I got sad but in a way I got very happy because I realized that I got to this part of comedy not as a criminal but with a criminal mentality in sorts like with them with the twittering in a way and all that shit it's for me it was like everything else you know I go into a bar I'd see Lee I'd ask Lee if you want a bump I give him two bumps and I cut him off eventually you're gonna come up with $40 to give it to me right you know you're

gonna go where'd you get that I got another package right here let's do this and next thing you know we'll fuck I got you for $80 so did you ever have a relationship with with like the cops like that uh baron did and like they're I had a relationship with two cops I had a relationship with a cop in jersey and I had a great relationship with a cop in aspen Jesus and boldly I got arrested because I probably didn't have a relationship and aspen I didn't get arrested at all cops only came to my house one time in aspen I had no police contact on aspen even though I ran a fucking and I'm lying to you I had police contact in 83 before I left that's when they figured out was me who was burglarizing things but they didn't arrest me didn't have enough uh proof to arrest me

no did you ever like when you say relationships did you ever have to pay them off or was just you were friendly with them I paid them off would blow sometimes sometimes I gave them information you know something you gotta give them something they keep you out there you gotta give them something you know you're not a snitch I wasn't writing nobody out I would just know that Lee was getting uh 30 Lee fucked me one night on a pound of coke often I find out that Lee holds his coke with that Honda dealership on the corners he gets his deliveries there on Friday you know what you need to bust you know what when you bust me no don't forget about giving me something off the top because they're gonna steal something if they pick up six keys you think six keys make it

to the fucking police station no four keys make it to the police station and then when it's when you look at the fucking history of New York as a whole okay you know it what kills me about the 75 is that everybody's going crazy like they never heard this shit before for me this is what I knew about every day so for everybody else they're like oh my god you know okay so the coke gets to the warehouse once they book it into fucking uh once they book it into fucking uh processing and it goes into evidence the cop who booked it goes and gets four pounds of fucking dust and now he goes back one night when nobody's watching he takes two pounds of coke and puts two because a kilo is two pounds pretty much it's a couple fucking pounds it's uh 32 ounces 32.2 ounces

to 34.2 something to that effect so it's two pounds so you go back with two pounds of cut you take an ounce of coke put it in there just to sort of pass the test and that's what these cops are doing they became all of them became drug dealers all of them they would bust you and sell you drugs back to you cut you're like what the fuck is this what do you mean so I would take up two pounds of coke from Lee right come to the car pull you over at least I had boom smack you what do you got in the fucking trunk nothing I take out you got a kilo of coke right okay I take it with me and you got there a call come in good yo Joey what's up my brother hey what's going on nothing how you guys doing all right my good dad yeah we're hanging out here in

on Las Olas in Fort Lauderdale right now me and Walter okay everything all right what's happening with Walter you guys eating dinner down there to eat some Cuban food well not yet we wish we might have forced from a Cuban restaurant buffet we'll have that in tomorrow but we had to bounce into the whole uh Lauderdale trip you know shooters and uh right now Las Olas you know we've been driving a lot on the road the last couple days quite a bit good for you man how long you staying down there uh we're going to be down here only till Thursday I'm flying back Thursday I was doing I did my uncle a favor he moved the rest of his uh content from his home down to Florida because he's going there full time and uh he did the jersey to Florida for about

eight ten years now he's moving full time so you know he's got to do the right thing for family so no no hey we were just sitting here talking about how the last week and a half or so uh the seven fives been all over twitter you know it plays on showtime and people's fucking people from farmers you know white america see this shit and their jaw drops and it's just a sensational story about one of many you know of one of many that was one of the worst precincts in the country for a long time and he you are I mean you did you you did your fucking time my dad I mean you got no nobody nothing you did your time nobody could fucking judge you you wouldn't believe that you stay you're saying that shit am I on the live radio how much does this work yeah I haven't

talked to yeah yeah you can talk yeah yeah no my thing is I did my time but you wouldn't believe the haters that are out there like you know this is America's second chance place of opportunity we'll build some corruption to begin with you know we all make mistakes we pay our dues I got people hating me you should be dead you should die you can't uh yeah what do I have to do I'm sorry you and then can I say it wants to be over but I keep going on for my fucking life I don't know you know it's amazing how for years I also avoided responsibility once you do your time you learn how to claim responsibility I tell people that I you know who shot Kennedy I did just to end the conversation that's how you start thinking you know the other had an argument with a friend of mine

at dinner as I dropped her off I went out I got I hugged her and I said hey it's a bigger man the bigger the fucking mistake and she goes I know I love you and that was it I can't and that's it you know you're not hiding in the fucking bush hiding that's why I give you all the credit in the world there has nobody in the history of this shit that I've seen get more enthusiastic when you tell the story about finding fucking money only I used to get that enthusiastic I listen there's nothing to sensationalize about the crimes we did you know but but the fact is money you know that's what we got to bed full we put our pants on we put our shoes on we both make money so when you find money you know you're not thinking about the blood that was still over it you're thinking

about what I got in my hand right now I want it I need it I don't need it I know someone that does hey I gave a lot of money away but you know they don't write about that they write about you know the condos on the ocean and the fucking corvettes and all the bullshit you know but you know I don't want to I don't listen I don't want anybody pat me on the back for anything I did I just want to take responsibility for what I did and the thing that I found is that the more responsibility I take the better I feel and you know if you don't like me for it then I'm sorry but that's what we do it right you take responsibility you can't be shy to talk about it because there's others out there that wish they called and they changed because they never came clean

my god my life my life oh my god my life changed once I started talking about the kid something I was so embarrassed about right something I was so embarrassed about and one day I started singing about it talking about it and everything fucking changed my life changed some people handled it and they went away they couldn't handle it and they went away and the people who did handle it they're still here you know why because the people that we meet should judge us for how we treat them you know and then listen listen I'm not that I'm not condoning any criminal conduct and I don't think you are as well you know but we still have to live a life and you know you have to put your arm around sorry that that turns your life around and goes forward and wonder how they do it I mean because

I didn't know how to do it I just do it one step at a time every day it's like they're almost like an AA program you know one step at a time you know so what's great about the documentary is that we see the evolution I get the weather director or you as a storyteller I could see how two young guys become cops you know get shot at bubba bubba bubba you look around and all of a sudden one day you find an envelope you find another one and you got in so deep that at one point you're drinking just to keep your fucking saying that's a lot of people to understand that at one point you're doing so many things you got so many things going on in your fucking day that the alcohols the only thing that makes you focus and puts you to sleep at night so you don't have to think

about that shit because that's when the ugly comes out once you're home by yourself at night you had a couple drinks and a couple to toots and you're sitting there going they're gonna fucking come in through the floor who's gonna know that they have a camera there you know oh god oh I've been on a lot of cameras so I don't know how I didn't catch you back in 1988 or 89 I just don't get it you know that's which is why that's been turned the way it did because I mean if you ain't gonna catch me now you you people suck I mean and I don't mean to put anybody down I mean I mean I put my cool bed in the lieutenant spot I mean come on I was making 33,000 a year and the call was 36,000 I just was 1500 in the casino and everybody in the police department knew it I mean it was embarrassing

I was like why didn't it grab me for Christ's sake rescue me from myself because I couldn't know that you know but hey it is what it is you know in those you know I want to focus sitting here fooling around with his twitter and all that shit right now I want to put him on but I gotta ask you something else well a lot of people also understand a lot of the people that are watching this are young I left New York Walt Walt that when I uh gotten like I grew up in Manhattan but my mom had the barn jersey the whole thing but I had a santeria godmother and 148th in Broadway she candles she did the candles everything everything she was the baddest bitch in the world when I see I'll talk to you more about it I grew up you know I grew up on 148 and on the corner

they sold weed since I was a kid even if I didn't smoke weed there was a Puerto Rican kid and then it became a Cuban kid then he became a black kid and one day in 85 I went to see my godmother before I was leaving for Colorado and I went on that same fucking block and do you know what Mike I could not find one seed of marijuana it was crack oh yeah crack had taken over the city from 85 to 91 what he's talking about was just something that you couldn't imagine yeah those pictures that's you know it clean it hit the police department the way it hit the street I mean and not not just that is deflected not to take responsibility just it hit us all by storm you know and it was like you know you watch a tornado with into a neighborhood and when the tornado walks out you

know the neighborhood is devastated people like wow it's beautiful day today the sun's out oh that was the same thing like they hit the city it was amazing how disruptive it was and you know a lot of people got shocked up in that in the window the tornado let's say the follow the follow what it was you know I left New York from 85 to 91 and I was telling Lee when I watched you on that show the other day I kind of got sad Mike because you want me to tell you first off Mike if I moved to New York the first guy I'm hanging out with every night is you that's and I'll tell you why because what I don't have out here is the quality you have you might have fucked up whatever I'm out in California where people don't look in the eye here you are telling me the truth bop bop bop bop bop bop

and it made me think about you know this comedy thing I did this as a by the way Mike right I did this as a by the way something happened to me when I hit my 31 32 like I really scared Mike I had done my last drug rip the summer of 93 on 178 right by Washington up to Washington Heights well that's when the Dominicans were up there and we followed the car and the guy ran out of the car it wasn't even we didn't have to say tie you up what the guy before that he's over the cops and that was it hilarious and that was it and I left away but I gotta tell you what you did is what I always wanted to do I love all that shit I ain't gonna lie to you you want me to lie to you and tell you I grew up to be a comic and I wanted to hang out with these fucking morons that have no

loyalty and nothing I wanted to grow up with men who had fucking loyalty and yeah you fucked up a little bit and you had a good time you laugh you went to Atlantic City you know the fucking whole thing you ate all you could eat crab buffet but there was something I liked that I wanted to always be that but the problem would happen with me I grew up watching Miami Bites you know what I mean it's all about tubs and and the other guys crocketing tubs these guys in their in their cappizios or whatever they have a little awareness with their whites their whites uh their white flags and their nice little paisley stuff they'll wear it just make you know you only want to be that you know

so this is some about it this morning I get up at five I'm riding and also that's six I turn on the news and I see Miami vices on and I turn it on it's the episode where Crockett loses his mind towards the end when everybody lost their mind they were all due and blow so they came up with a subplot that Crockett lost his mind Joe Santos is in the episode the other guy the gay guy Elgato he was in the episode I lost a book contract over that word but right Elgato Elgato oh you can't say the gay guy I don't know I got in trouble using the word fag or something oh yeah you can't say the word fag no more but this guy was a gay guy but in 1980 he was a fag see that's the difference now he's a gay that's the evolution of the fag

they used to be fags not the big guy I love them all so not this bad no no no no no no no no no please I got a cousin who came from cubie he's gay as hell I love him to death I don't give a fuck about that I'm just saying I watched this episode today so for you to say that shit where's Walter he's right here he's right here let me talk to that savage well say hello to Joey his people he's he's got a he's got a couple of questions for you specifically how about the next week enough that Walter Joey how are you how are you Walter what's happening happy new year my brother to you too man are you still that are you still six foot six 300 pounds six foot nine six foot fucking nine yeah how six five about 285 now how are you doing different places how you're

feeling this these days I'm feeling good man I'm feeling good about this how was that part of your life just a fucking nightmare huh well you know it was bumpy road but I enjoyed every bump you know I can't say uh I didn't do it I did we had fun landed on my ass though that's all that's it that's the problem you landed and you got break back the fuck up you have a question for Walter I just this is Lisa at he's the co-host here hi Walter it was just crazy I was I was watching it again today and they just they described you like a ball of adrenaline just like crashing through like that's that's who I want to be I'm a short Jewish kid who never did anything and just like just I would love to be the muscle for so that's so cool just like to

know that you're there to like kick ass well that's what we did I mean we did do our jobs you know we we we protected people we protected the public it was the extracurricular activities that the police department didn't appreciate well it was crazy how you said that like the police department trained you for those robberies like you you use the formation that they try that they taught you this for the robberies exactly that's fucked up it's crazy how you said a word that uh when I got locked up I worked in the kitchen and there was a black kid his name was etchy and he would always come in every day and go freeze and everybody would actually go what the fuck etchy cut the shit out and when you said it took me back to fucking etchy saying freeze or whatever but uh

I uh you know it was watching it you were there it took me there you know I'm a fan of Mike's I'm a fan of yours uh you turn your life around and here you ought to tell your story man and if you really look at that's the American way you know a lot of people it doesn't say in the film but a lot a lot of people don't realize that went to prison twice oh you did get locked up also I went twice I went 89 and again in 92 for the same crimes no I got arrested 88 for for knocking off a bodega according to internal affairs but it was just like what we said it was a front and we were picking up money and uh it just went through the system that's all it did and then the second one in 92 you came back and you weren't a cop now obviously

no no I wasn't a cop when I come out I come out in in January in 92 and then four months later uh you know these guys got locked up and I got sucked in by the long with them only because I knew him and uh you know you know it was actually Kenny you know he asked me today one of these days that I got out of when I got out of jail he's still there I got out of jail he asked me he says can you deal you know and I turned him down and you know I started to try to lead a straight life and I did but you know just got caught up in uh in a whirlwind in a whirlwind he only after Michael for years and then anybody I was attached to him in any way shape or form and uh that's that that's how I ended up in jail the second time too

but Michael's like my brother you know he took me in my first bit you know when I got arrested everybody turned their back on me including family and you know Michael took me in you know kept an eye on me for a year before and he drove me to jail so you know hey so it's uh you got a story and a half Walt I'm happy you survived through this I'm happy you got a second chance we learned the lesson and that's it you move forward man enjoy your little vacation and hopefully I'll meet you guys in New York in February or uh Mike's gonna come out and we're gonna do the we're gonna show the 75 in the office in the studio here uh we could talk about it whatever you're welcome I'll keep you guys posted and that's it my brother sounds good man let me

talk to Mike real quick and just give him one if he's not busy there appreciate the reach out be good thank you brother Mike so I'm telling these guys you're gonna come back we're gonna come in studio we're gonna play the movie we'll sit here for a while talk about it what you were really going through because a lot of times you watch stuff like that and you leave out certain things oh yeah you know I wanted to leave this in so make some notes and we'll chitchat about that and that's it man I got nothing but love and respect for you uh you did what you did you told your story you did your time listen uh to make some eggs you're gonna you know to make an omelette you're gonna have to break some eggs I'm sure people got hurt along the way but they were

in a game also uh yeah yeah sometimes oh yeah there's no one that's in victims here oh thank god you know of course they didn't say I had people murdered and shit which isn't true like you know just I want you to be for you we shut down and I'll just go out live or not but the mike dowd dot com or the mike dowd on twitter and instagram I wish people just give me a shout out I try to get back to everybody that sends me a private message and also uh john cargillo show on i heart radio is what we're down here for at john clinton a little in our a nut job right we'll do conservative conservative psycho but he's entertaining and you know what this is all about a little bit of pain in my life still so it's john cargillo at i heart and the mike dowd dot com

for the mike down on twitter and instagram I'd appreciate it if you can shout that out give me space at all I try to get back to everybody okay nowhere a man listen like I said you got none but love from me here and we'll talk we'll have you in studio by the end of the month I love his back at you go and uh my feet say hello love you man stay black I love you thanks for everything thank you like little tony benetha I want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart me give some shout out to my main man david christensen always talking back and forth me buffalo magic I love you guys val demar rick the mark thomas rob bradley hyde geldes young

down and arizona holding it down edwards automotive and space monkey shone I love you motherfuckers remember the uh savage dad tour starts in charlotte january 28th the following week in st louis at uh what the hell are none of the helium helium dot com but go to joey dears dot net for t shirts and for all your tour dates he uh refixed the webpage we'll start doing the blog on there pretty soon I think the podcaster up on there he had the last podcast up so that's great so the webpage is looking up go to joey dears dot net and see what else is crack a lacking yeah it's it's listen man everybody has a uh a system and a couple years ago I was on a tour with a comic who was very nice and we got into the conversation about a dirty cop and this guy

lost his mind he couldn't believe it and I get it uh I had a lot you know as an american you have a lot of respect for cops and sometimes but this was a different time and this was a different era and the only way you could fucking really judge it is if you were in there and I knew those neighborhoods I knew those fucking neighborhoods they were I wouldn't go there really go there for drugs fuck no fuck no even that that washington heights in the 80s got scary they killed the cop with a bucket of spackle they were throwing spackle from the roofs at the cops Jesus these motherfuckers were running you know this was street game and sometimes you know you look at your paycheck and you're getting six under a week but that's what you signed up for so a dirty cop is a dirty cop

I just happen to like this guy because these are the guys I grew up with number one number two like I said to you guys I watched this show and it really fucked up my insides for a few days because my wife said to me in new york how did you leave this place this is you from your head to your toes what you're doing now is like a sham of who you are like you're a fucking city guy and people understand it was a big sacrifice for me to leave it was a fucking huge sacrifice for me I love New York City I love the action I love the adrenaline I like for all that shit but part of me knew I wouldn't survive and I didn't want to die not like that on the fucking streets not like that man no and then when I went to Colorado I was I was telling Timmy Holloway this

one I was fucking crazy when I went to Colorado when I went to Colorado in 1985 it was like Joe Rogan said it was like putting a kid in a candy store I did what the fuck I sold the membership to the mob do you understand me and they didn't understand how fucking crazy I was when I got divorced in 91 I went back into street mode I started selling Valium's and I started hustling Jack I started selling neon door-to-door and I just started fucking hustling and one thing led to another and you know next thing I'm saying I always knew that I could go back to selling something if I got in a bind those first couple years here I would sell something from time to time I was always putting a move together rent wasn't made by the 25th and I had six days to go that

means you gotta sell an eight ball or two you gotta come up with you know four or five hundred hours something's gotta be done so I would do it because I always knew I could go back to it and number two I was fucking good at it it's what I know Lee it's what I know this comedy thing was something I hit under and it hit because I happen to tell these fucking stories and shit like that it's scary it scares the shit out of me it's and it's crazy how different people can grow up like I'm one of the people I watched that documentary my only experience with cops and tell me be like high school was Officer Rocky he was the dare cop and he came in and like with like a stuffed animal and like I to think about cop is going and and giving a police escort

to the head of a mob is blue it just I know it happens now like now but if I had watched this at like 15 what I think corruption is down now I think corruption still exists it's just a little down now because you have more eyeballs you have more film you have more camera you have more and still cops are shooting people you know cops are shooting people more than fucking ever but I mean maybe because I can't steal I mean maybe maybe because they were making all their money from all that I don't fucking know but it's just listen man you're paid to protect the public and it turns into something else and I get it and sometimes life turns into something sometimes you come to me and go join I'm a good

looking girl I'm 23 I got a great body I got a boyfriend who's a loser every time I take my shirt off guys go crazy why shouldn't I go strip and I'm gonna go strip for six months my friend said I can make $5,000 a week I don't have to fuck nobody you go up there you're stripping also in one day somebody gives you a taste of coke and you start doing coke and even though you're doing the classes now you meet some guy and all of a sudden what you thought was you had a lid on you don't have a lid on and I'm just using the stripper I'm not it could be anybody it could be a construction worker it could be anything you just get caught up in things that's why I always tell people to think about what they're doing before they go down there or think because you

never know people fucking get caught up and to me I mean yeah I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt that he was being honest but it sounded in the documentary like he liked being a cop and like he was he was proud of it like when he when they asked how long were you cop he knew to like the month and just stuff like it just seemed like he was sometimes life gets out out of sometimes life you just lose hold on it I know people listening to this podcast half he is going one way half he is it going the other way but the bottom line is sometimes your loose focus is something you wanted to be in the military right you almost signed up for the marina which one something you know like what if you had done that then this could have been the

same path kind of I wanted to please my mom my mom always said you have to join the military when you got older for a few years and stuff and I didn't know what I was going to do like I said I had no idea it's not like I grew up going I'm going to be a fucking fireman or you know I didn't know I didn't fucking know but once I started doing drugs and she was gone I had no family and I had nothing to you know in a way live for in a way that's why I became what I did and that's why I took the chances I did you know I took the chances I did because I really had nobody at home nobody to please nobody to make proud nobody to do nothing like that and when you don't have that you know fuck it I used to tell my friends listen I'm gonna rob this with you but I don't

want you going at let me do this if I get busted you I know your mom I don't want your mom mad at me shit like that you know right and the other guy in the in the documentary Kenny in some way I related to him a lot and how how he just got caught up in it and it sounded kind of like you he said the only reason he was caught was because that test was before the firefighter test you don't know you don't know you grew up in some of those areas you don't really don't know some kids are blessed they know exactly what they want to do with their 16 they want to be a pilot they already have a path others don't know what they want to do to their fucking 30 and that's just the way it fucking happens you know I mean it's the it's the elephant in the room so I got to talk about it

you know I was talking about how I never joined nothing I was never really a part of nothing you know I was a fucking criminal and when I moved back to Colorado in 93 and I did that stupid thing in New Jersey and I made some money I went with the intention of becoming a comic I went back to Colorado with two intentions first to become a dad and then to become a comic okay that's what that was the plan when you went back after being in New York in New York this is 93 November of 93 I go back to Colorado and I work at it and I'm trying to be a dad and I'm trying to do the best I can but I'm getting into arguments with this chick and I'm getting hot with my ex-wife I'm getting hotter and hotter and all of a sudden through all this who I was was coming out I was

getting hotter and hotter and I when it comes to that I don't know the diplomacy side I don't know anything of that side I just know the street side of things I know the street side of things and you can't disrespect me and I can't disrespect you this can't keep going up and I got out of the control and whatever and I got hotter and hotter and like I said I was a criminal then I would rob anything in those days especially after I got out of prison and after I got separated I was very careful in my steps I was very careful what I did but were you not careful before I was always careful but I didn't pay attention I paid attention a lot more I paid attention to what I was selling what I was who I was with and the things I was doing I wanted to keep things under a certain

radar so if I did have to go back to jail you follow me and I was in my in my heart I just wanted to get out of whatever I was doing and just be a comedian but it didn't work that way it didn't work that way you had to work hard you know and I would go out at night and some months man I made it I paid my rent and I could pay my car payment I could pay a little child support or whatever and some months I didn't and the months I didn't I sold pills or I sold coke or you know I robbed so what the fuck I could do late you know then I got into comedy and I like I said I never belong anything I was lost and from the minute I got the fucking comedy people come up to me and say hey man is Mitzi sure seeing you yet when she sees you you're gonna be at the

fucking store and all of a sudden I get made a regular at the fucking store and one thing leads to another and I gotta tell you something man I did some fucked up things at the store like I would steal phones like cell phones people would do like help lost and found and put them in lost and I would take three phones and take them at Crenshaw and sell them to this black bank robber right now that had I used to hang out with Eddie Griffin at the comedy store and they were criminals they also got they got arrested for robbing a bank in LA I know we don't have time for that story right now but we're gonna put a pin in that yeah which one the fucking bank robber I was from Crenshaw they used to hang out at the store with Eddie Griffin and I became from St. Louis

they in fact they did a long stretch for bank robbery here in LA one of them got shot right here in LA that's why I don't see them I never saw those guys again this was 99 2000 but as I had a hard time there in the beginning some guy said I was doing it he was Jewish and he said I was doing one of his jokes and I kind of pushed him and he fell down I never really had a problem after that I had an argument with Don Barris I had an argument with this kid that uh broke the microphone one night I told him don't touch the microphone because you're gonna break the microphone and nobody else gonna be able to go up what do you think the fucking kid did he broke the microphone so me him and this other kid went to war for a few months but it was things that happened with personalities

it wasn't me trying to be a scumbag to other comedians when I before I got into comedy I read that book by fucking my favorite Jewish comic whatever Lenny Bruce and there's one book and he spoke about the camaraderie of comics and I'd always believed in the camaraderie of comics I wasn't a criminal no more you know guys I'm good at some things but I'm very naive at the others you know uh you know there's treachery in the regular business world there's treachery at a fortune 500 company there's always somebody trying to stab somebody in the back but I was so naively I didn't really believe that happened in comedy until I got to the store why did you think it was because it's just it was positive like why would it yeah it was an art

it was an art you know it was just something that I didn't really have to fuck with Lee you know I didn't know I had to fuck with Lee to do this so when I got to the store people tried to fucking me a little bit and I bounced boy and then I just did my spots and then I got into some beeps and then the word got out that I stuck up for myself and I really didn't give a fuck so people left me to fuck alone okay and and also I'm in there and this kid comes in and he's really cool and we used to talk all the time John Caparillo we talk about this or that and blah blah blah blah blah blah and he was a funny kid and he would go on stage and everybody giggled and I used to giggle with fucking Duncan me and Duncan had him believing

but if he wanted spots he had to pay $15 a spot that this is how we did at the comedy store and he was so naive he was just a sweet kid but one day he starts getting success and he starts Duncan quits after they did the the comedy store show on TNT remember years ago TBS did the Paulie Shaw and all that I heard about you Duncan quit Duncan said fuck you I'm not being no show I'm not being no show with Paulie Shaw so Duncan quit so they made the phone guy the fucking talent coordinator which wasn't a good move on Mitzi but she didn't have time to look around plus the kid took the job for fucking peanuts but after about two or three years the kid's job went through his fucking head and here's his Caparillo kid fucking with Tommy you know and

they they like each other and they have whatever means and in 2006 I was fucking knee deep an addiction dog I would basically go to the store to buy blow I would do my spot and make a U-turn and go to either El Compadre or to the Martel Cartel and buy blow and go home and I could see that there was something in the air that was different you know Joe Rogan was huge he was coming off fear factor he would pack the place every week with a fucking uh my space in that day or whatever the fuck was popular in those days was my space and he packed the place out and I could tell there wasn't a good feeling towards him he was doing 40 minutes not on my end I loved it he would get me and Ari to go up before him and do 15 minutes you know and he would he would follow

us you know like he would go I want to follow these two fucking guys because they make me work you know and things got started getting heated and one day I'm sitting on the thing it's like October of 2006 I'm deep in addiction guys I'm about to get surgery on my neck the fat ball I had on my neck and I'm sitting out there and also Joe Rogan's on tour with Tom Segura Charlie Murphy and the other kid from Michigan there's a really nice kid John Heffernan John Heffernan and they're doing the tour I'm sitting out there and fucko comes up to me caparul and he goes hey man when your buddy comes back he's trying to be cute he goes when your boss or your buddy comes back he's not going to be able to do 40 minutes and then Tommy came out he said did you tell him and

they were both giggling I go you know what both of these could go fuck yourselves and I knew what time it was they went away giggling too but I knew what time it was I could see that something was a brewing you know the night with the Paulie short thing when TNT came to see him they didn't make Rogan go up on stage and then there was an argument between Paulie and this other manager and Joe Rogan and I turned my back because I thought Rogan was going to knock him out I wanted if I had to take a lie detector test I wanted to pass it well you're looking no did you hear the smacks fuck no but Rogan didn't smack those guys Rogan is smart and he walked away and that was the end of the conversation I knew it had something to do with just fucking people

the way they get comics a fucking little cut sometimes so one day I get a call from fucking Tommy like January before I do the surgery and on my neck and he's telling me how Carlos came in there and bumped John and that's not right and I tell him I said listen man the last I checked Carlos on TV he gets every right well you're wrong you're wrong Caperulo is funny I'm gonna cap it's a funny guy but he ain't funny in fucking Carlos bro and nobody knows where the fuck he is so knock it the fuck off with that shit well I wanted you to tell Joe what they were trying me to do was to get Joe riled up eventually I got Joe riled up on his own and whatever went down with Carlos happened I was not there that night I was recovering from my next uh the surgery

and once I saw that fat ball that came out of my neck it was the people talking shit behind my back I could see that fucking comedy story so I said fuck it I'm not going in there no more with those fucking the speedy those models I just made up my mind two months before like that December I'm like I'm not going in there no more because I know I'm gonna end up knocking somebody fuck out number one you think you would have hit somebody Jesus I was close so I said fuck it and then the Jeff Valdez thing went down and I went back in there one more time and that proved it I went off on him a fight the new the LA Times wrote a story about it that I fucking called the guy out for being a creep another fucking creepy producer Jeff Valdez so I admit that really pushed me over

like I hadn't been there nine months if I had any thoughts of being in there they were done that night and I just didn't come back I wasn't banned or none I walked out on my own two feet like a gentleman but the whole time I'm hearing these fucking ramblings about this cunt capirulo I'm hearing these fucking little ramblings I was telling people they can't go up in front this went on for years you know Rogan was doing that Friday when they threw Joe Rogan out the commerce was supposed to do a walkout but Mitzi sure said if somebody walked out they wouldn't get spots no more so they bailed so right there my camaraderie belief in comedy went off the fucking window right there and I told Joe a thousand times don't even talk to those punk ass bitches no more but Joe's a nice

guy me I see him now I say hello but I know what they're about you can't take these faggots into walk is they're gonna fold so good I hate to say are you worried that some that might happen with what you're about oh sure I really don't give because that's the biggest I learned that lesson early yeah I really don't give people people go like route like rally you up and then when it's time they all walk away that if you listen to the call those men see a tape they're in the back jumping yelling screaming once it was time to bail up nobody did fucking dick so but anyway that's a complete different story this is going on over the years I'm hearing this shit I'm hearing that he's saying I'm not funny that Tommy's saying I'm not funny that Mitch I was Mitch he's favorite

blah blah blah blah blah so I didn't say and then one day I stopped doing blow and I started thinking about it so like in 2013 or something I was doing an interview and I said it I said capital those are fucking cunt and his buddy Tommy I wasn't going back up that I didn't give a fuck and what are you gonna do come get me at my house is that what you think they're gonna fucking do they don't have the bull anybody who goes to a talent coordinator and tells them that you can't put somebody on before me or after me then he started complaining about Bobby League going on after him you know why because he was too funny he wanted to be the star of the whole fucking night he wanted people to leave at 11 and go wow that capirulo something else

so he wouldn't let Bobby League go up then he started on fucking build the crystal ear and then you know when when Adam came back the talent coordinator from the store came back he had to call a bunch of other comedians to say come back Hannibal Barris Al Madrigal he called a bunch of comedians yeah some of them had problems with Tommy but some of them had problems because capirulo didn't like them there capirulo felt threatened by them he's that much of a fucking pussy he felt threatened by them and that's not what a comic does a comic doesn't take money out of somebody else's pocket okay I'm very hurt and two things that happened in my career once I didn't book the Sopranos because Steve Sharipa went and talked

about me to the producers I didn't like that I didn't get the job he took money out of my fucking pocket somewhere along the line you have to pay for that that's karma when you take money out of somebody's pocket just like stealing you're stealing it's the same fucking principle I feel I never give a bad review to anybody like an Uber driver like I feel bad no and I've heard of people being like I don't want to follow somebody he's too funny I've never heard of something I don't want someone to follow me there that's what he was doing so and listen when somebody says they don't want you following me that means you want to be the funniest fucking guy around you don't want to be fucking threatened so people left people like you know what like a lot of people went down

in capirulo probably like I don't want him down here and sure enough Tommy believed him and trust me I've heard those stories too of people going down and being funny after him and never getting the spot ever again like till late night you know just a thousand shitty thing and Tommy did a thousand shitty days not only that but he robbed the fucking joint he got caught with his hand in the cookie jar behind the register here's the kid with a trust fund that was robbing you understand me so listen both of them suck dick both of them are too dick-sucking motherfuckers so Rogan goes on this by going Rogan's podcast Christmas Eve and I say the truth Rogan's up there being a nice guy saying oh well the fucking guy uh you know the comedy store the computers uh why cool people go

not no cool people go down there because Tommy and that cunt capirulo don't go down there no more so a couple weeks ago what's the fat dude from fucking the Goldbergs oh Jeff Garland Jeff Garland goes down and bumps capirulo that's why you didn't see him for a long time that's why he hadn't been down there because he was pissed about that he was pissed about me and Joe being back down there he was pissed about magic he was pissed about the lineups bro he's pissed about the heart of the lineups this is a comic that's just at home and you know and that's all he's fucking doing and haven't I haven't been great you were saying the lineups are sensational and he's not on him he's not on him because he ain't around this fucking smoke this fucking fire guys i'm not

making this fucking shit up this is not slander this is a human being telling you what the fuck happened Ari went up to him the other night and was like you this is what you did he's still not coming to it do you understand what claiming responsibility is if he would have just claimed responsibility this would have been over i don't even give up i don't give a fuck if that little miserable faggot cunt gets hit by a fucking car i don't give a fuck it don't matter to me all i wanted him to do is to know what he did well he starts up with me on twitter the other day and i said some shit i went overboard but i had to give it to him listen auto war sun zoo if the fucking guy you're going up against is about what fucked up tolerance agitate this motherfucker to

no end what agitates a motherfucker more reberdo diran you know how he won the fight against sugar ray landed the first time how he walked up to him in montreal and he said i'm gonna fuck your wife up the fucking ass it got into fucking sugar ray's head so much that he lost the first fight put it on put it on it's a true story but not don't put it on here put it on when you get home true story in montreal first time reberdo diran fought fucking sugar ray landed sugar ray nice guy of the year walking down the street with his family and he sees reberdy goes let me into that deuce reberdo to my wife reberdo shakes his hand and goes i'm gonna fuck your wife up the ass it threw him off for two weeks he lost the fucking fight lost the fight lost the fucking fight because you lose the

fight in your head first this isn't a fight but i gained nothing by smacking this fucking punk he's a punk i wouldn't dirty my hands i never intended to i just wanted him to know and to fucking apologize and if you're not gonna apologize then don't come to the county store no more don't come to the county store because now i arouse this people notice you know many people fucking call me and not animals nice white people call me you know when the open mics hit me up and said thank you that that guy's a cunt he's a cunt to us when he walks in the building that dude's a cunt to everybody so when arie's talking to him yesterday he's still not claiming responsibility he don't do nothing this kid he don't do nothing why have him around so i had to say what i had to say i

wasn't lying if you've watched the twitter feed he never accused me a lie he didn't nothing he called me names i'm grandpa that i'm old that i wasn't funny that i was hanging on his job when he got a deal what deal that was his fucking hate day that was all he's ever done bitch i've done fucking movies with savages you know for all the shit he did he nobody follows him on twitter he said that was irrelevant not funny this kid's a fucking punk this kid's a fucking punk and he'll always fucking be a punk a comic and then he started putting at the commie store as a commie uh what is that artist artist commie well then you should have acted like one you should have acted like one you never did you think people are coming after you now and saying these things

to you because they feel bad for you i'm not bullying this kid i got no reason to buy don't give a fuck if this fucking maggot falls off a fucking bridge tonight and gets hit by a truck and then the fucking lion's eating to death i don't give a fuck i don't give a fuck you know i don't give a fuck but the point is how he didn't claim responsibility everything was everybody else's and now some of the comics have been happy from what i did but nothing beside are you gonna go up to him and go hey dog you fucked up well you know what's sad this might be it might be bullying in today's good culture like in in your world it's just telling the truth but now you can't even you can't even say the truth even i'm not saying you're wrong no no no no i know and i

know some people will upset by my comments i don't really give a fuck if they were upset i really don't i really don't i'm too old to get worried about what fucking people think anymore and if you're young don't fuck who gives a fuck you did it it's done this is how i feel in my heart i'm not saying i'm gonna smack the guy i don't dog i got a beautiful wife and a beautiful family i have a great time with you guys and i have a great support group with you guys i just wanted people to know you know what man aren't you sick and tired of getting conned you like bill consby remember how you like bill consby remember how you like gyrity was sweet you know i'm sick and tired of you fucking people somebody didn't raise you right there you can't judge character right off the bat

maybe i am a fucked up guy but i'll tell you what call me with a problem i'm the first fucking guy there if we live in a different time you don't see me with i went to the park there they were my daughter i seen a father in 50 degree weather 60 degree weather with a scarf and a cashmere sweater and flip flops on and a hat like sanatra these people have no fucking soul you know everybody talks about isis is killing our country you know it's killing our country these fucking Gentiles and their home base is right here in LA see the home base of these little fucking politically correct fucking fake because that's all you are when you're telling me you're politically correct you're telling me you feel your fate because if you're a woman if you've ever had a fucking black

dick in your hand or a fucking dick in your hand or if you're a man and you ever had a woman bent over and you're eating her asshole you cannot be politically correct you cannot lie these people you see at the all the time these people you see at these when my wife and daughter go to church on k that big white church where we go i've been half those fucking people fuck their grandkids they do a bunch of shitty shit but they have they go to church and they're politically correct and they like saturday night live and did you hear the joke the black chubby kid said fuck you that show hasn't been funny in fucking 30 years if somebody comes up to you and says they watch saturday night live that's the first judge a character i don't want to be around this fucking

god you know what did john lennon say if you say the truth you're only gonna have two friends or something like that i'd rather just have two friends anymore i'd rather have two people listen to this fucking podcast than these people that wear hats and everything is free you know it's like what you said you've seen on new year's eve people who would just dare to go see bill bird just and he was having a heart he was like kind of getting mad at the audience because i went to the early show which i i normally don't go to because sometimes the little crowds are a little tighter but i wanted to get home and it was just the people in in the crowd were all wearing like crazy like it was it was like hipster center like downtown is

all hipster and it's it's turned into what this season of south park is so like they make fun of like whole foods going in and in the middle of downtown there's a brand new whole food and it was just the people that i saw down there were just crazy and then i had the best just to go off a little bit you see all these people going out and partying i had the best time of new year's i was home at 10 and i was i was on the couch by like 10 30 eating burgers that we made it's so much but it's so much better than what i used to feel remember when we started this podcast and i used to say i used to feel like i missed out on i didn't miss out on nothing nothing nothing yeah i told you that bro when i was a kid i stopped going out at night and people were like oh my god i'm like i'm

not missing nothing it's it's and it's a sacrifice but once you realize nothing happened nothing anything and it i did i didn't make a mistake we i uh i didn't want to take an edible but i want to get high so i was i smoked was smoking a joint and two cops rolled by so and i just threw the joint and i was like so i didn't i didn't i was wondering what you would do like if you were smoking out how do you smoke outside like that keep your eyes open the cops should never been on you or if a cop comes by he'll never do because i'm facing everything and if you see a cop it gives you time to put the joint down and stand there with an e-cigarette in your hand wait but do you throw the joint away no you put it next to your foot and step on the

fucking red spot and just step away five feet from it oh two feet and just keep opening your feces and get make believe you're on the phone i got paranoid i just tossed it we just ran away no no you keep first all he should how far from you was he was in the car there's no way he even saw it oh you're such a fucking amateur yeah there's no way in the car i didn't want to get arrested under your seat you keep it low we're not gonna arrest you for a joint you're a nice kid really up your name yeah you got a license don't you yeah then why they're gonna arrest you can you smoke on the street i'll smoke wherever the fuck i smoked on the street before the fucking license what do i give a fuck i'm so it's gotta be prepared you gotta sit there and look around you gotta have

another cigarette in your hand just in case or an e-cigarette go buy an e-cigarette and just have it in your hand and you hang out and beat the people ha ha ha and if you see the cop you don't do this you don't do nothing it just opens just release your arm stays the same you don't even move you just go bop and your heel goes over you take care of the cherry and you put your foot that if that and you stand there what are you doing here i'm on the phone my sister keep fucking going cock sucker no drive away that's how scared i am of the cops oh my god i'm fucking scared you pay taxes you're a nice fucking kid you don't do nothing to bother nobody listen everybody's making resolutions everybody's doing this everybody's doing that uh especially for meals and food and

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no they're sending america italian products over here and they're fake you know all these things you don't know so for many of us the shopping carts are really causes the real headache you got too many caught too many choices and too many things to learn and it's expensive with no guarantee you don't like what you buy all right so you ever buy a bottle of wine you bring it to somebody's house they taste it they look like you farted and i respect 13 18 dollars you know you don't need the segregation in your life we'll do this i joined a new wine club called club w they changed the game it's easy you go to club w dot com and you answer six questions that's it six questions the algorithm creates a palette profile just for you you're like r and g wines are the sweet blah

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wine you know you're going to love go to club w slash joey and get 50% off your first order that's right club w slash joey also my main man over at on it i seen arbrey the other day was on the rogan podcast today listen those guys are always doing something fantastic i didn't even look at their web page today because i usually look to see what i could order and torment them i'm living off the alpha brain i listen i got sick one time last year it's not back with shroom tech immune i fly every weekend guys you ever fly you come back with a headache or a sore throat two amunes before i get on the plane and i'm bad i'm brand new let's say you go to a bar you like sucking dick drinking one of people's glasses that's where that immune works for your shroom tech

immune shroom tech sport they have so many great quality fucking ingredients and supplements you gonna go crazy too many for me to name and too many for me to know what even i'm fucking talking about so do me a favor let's cut this shit go right now you got new resolutions you want to get in shape go to honor dot com look at the great selection of supplements that they have if you find something you like what you're gonna like it gets delivered right to your house i'll tell you what i'm gonna do i'm gonna save you 10% off your first order right now go to honor.com east cover church church ch you are ch and get 10% off your first order everybody's been hit me up they love the shroom tech they love the the hemp force protein the chocolate shake they love this

stuff guys the tea testosterone booster the coconut oil for the coffees and stuff they love anything from on it go to honor.com right now and press in church and get 10% off your first order delivery house i want to thank blue apron i want to thank on it and i want to thank club w for sponsoring from food to wine to supplements i'm always here for you guys i want to thank mike dot again i'll let you guys know what we're doing it's going to be like a three day seven five podcast we're just going to break this fucking thing down see what the guy felt whatever if you don't like it don't fucking watch all right you know i love you cock suckers always we'll be back wednesday or thursday i don't fucking know we'll be back we're moving off this is what we're going

to continue on with the podcast so don't worry about none i love you motherfuckers with all my heart lisa iat take it away cock suckers don't forget charlotte january 28 st louis helium comedy club february 4 through the 7th vegas february 19 for my birthday for some of you motherfuckers that don't know happy pre-birth don't bother me will you the show is brought to you by blue apron blue apron since growing my recipes and all the fresh ingredients you need to make them right to your door our listeners get their first two meals for free when you go to blue apron dot com slash joey shows also brought to you by club w club w is the one club that changed everything and right now they're offering our listeners 50 off of your first order when you go to club

w dot com slash joey and go to on it dot com is covered church to get 10 off all the great optimization products Oh Somebody told me For everything she wants Everything she sees It's the most I've loved you Because I said you were the first

Don't call me baby And now I feel smart and older Everything you want Everything you see Is out of reach Not good enough I don't know what the hell you want from me Oh

Somebody tell me Oh Why I worked so hard for you To give you money Some people were for everything Some people were for fun Girl, I just look for you And you told me marriage was a good ending

Wait, show me You can take you got some giving to do And now you tell me that you're having one baby I'll tell you that I'm happy if you want me to But one step further And my back will break If my best isn't good enough Then how can it be good enough for two

I can't work anymore and I do Somebody tell me Don't you tell me Why I worked so hard for you To give you money Do I do the things I do Tell you that I'm human Oh my God

I don't even think that I love you I want you to take me Do you want it? Do you want it? Do you want it? Tell me, tell me Tell me, tell me You can't just settle for a bowl like me

When all I can see you Is the end of the week All the things we said And the things we found And gonna keep us together It's just a matter of time My situation Yeah, the change is

Walking in your mouth and go Like a stranger But the way it is I give you all you see You are love And all I can see you Is the end of the week All the things we said

And the things we found And gonna keep us together It's just a matter of time Just a matter of time I give you all you see You are love Somebody tell me You can't just settle for a bowl like me

When I run so hard for you Oh, just give me now Somebody tell me You can't just settle for a bowl like me When I run so hard for you Oh, just give me now You can't just settle for a bowl like me You can't just settle for a bowl like me

Thank you