Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #351 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt with Ray Cannella

Episode Date: January 28, 2016

Ray Cannella, Head Of Programming for Screambox, a horror film subscription site, calls into Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt. This podcast is brought to you by: Ring: Go to ring.com/church to get Free expedited FedEx shipping. Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.

This show is brought to you by ring.com Go to ring.com slash church to get free expedited FedEx shipping on ring Which is a brand new video doorbell service that goes straight to your phone It's ring.com slash church and go to honor.com slash church to get 10% off all their great optimization products Like alpha brand a new mood What's happening you bad motherfuckers uncle Joey here with the flying you the flying you the flying you welcome to the church Of what's happening now? Wednesday

January 27th, who the fuck knows who was that buried at sea till they were here I got a little pink Floyd in the background here. The album wish you were here. I have no idea when it was released I just know there's a bad ass down, but I didn't notice a couple things till I actually went and got the album last week then These fucking hours not only did they come with like sleeves with the lyrics on them and shit They also got posters really a fucking poster comes in the album, you know Listen, hey, in fact, we might even hang it up over here on the fucking wall. Look at that. That's beautiful That's beautiful. I'm fired as wish you were here. That's the whole thing. So you got a little bang for your buck It's not now you got a fucking empty CD. You know I'm saying and how much would that cost you got a whole poster?

799 699 tops. No way. That's almost like 28 fucking dollars now. Yeah same album from 20 years You know, it's amazing how they've capitalized in this because they said it was going away But then they fucking brought it back because it just sounds better It's like the other night I was watching a fucking movie and I'll tell you what watching this movie was it all on the rush Oh, that was on the rush in the middle and it was so fucking bad That's what I heard but what made it even worse was the camera the film Whatever they're using that digital shit, right? It takes away from what we were used to so they're thinking that it looks better But in three or four years people gonna start going, you know what we like that old shit

You motherfuckers that most people do like it like I think Scorsese still shoots on film or likes to shoot on film And I think Tarantino might too, but they don't do it because it looks better They do it because digital is just so much cheaper than film film is like Kodak closed They it's so expensive like that was the most expensive part about going of like other than tuition That was the most expensive product about going to film school, you know It's not bad enough that like Gas stations are corporate and all this shit and all these businesses that you grew up on clothes Like, you know, there's no more newspaper delivery for kids

Nobody really reads a newspaper anymore. That was a big part of America's fabric that a kid You know Had a newspaper. Yeah, I learned how to sell he learned how to just do little things one of the things I can't believe you know the form booth disappeared You know, but one of the things that really fucked with me is the Kodak Shacks disappeared. Yeah, there's one hour Like that whole business Disappeared like an LA when let's say when you move to Los Angeles and you want to sign with an agent The first in this motherfucker says these where's your headshot now?

So for some people like what the fuck's the headshot you got to go find a photographer Not just any photographer a photographer. They recommend then the guy charges you $350. No way Then he gives you a CD then you got to pick the fucking shot And then he has to develop it for you and give it to you, but he doesn't just give it to you He sends it through a studio so the thing cost you 1199 now You got to get little pictures four by sixes For your agent so you have to give the fucking CD to your agent and then he looks at it with a jeweler's eye Okay, and then you have to take it back and get four by sixes made

That's another 50 and then you take it back to the agent He decides whether or not what shot he's gonna use then you go back to that fucking moron and you got to get 300 headshots For $99 plus there's a 49 95 Startup fee every time you bring a new headshot. It was a scam It was a fucking huge scam and they were doing everyone everyone comes to this down on one Everybody that's a I mean think about it then so if you go to if you go to a place on across from Not Chibo, but goucho

Goucho grill on sunset a little down from Rock and Roll Rouse. Okay, right across the street from there I forget what that street's called on the corner that guy had that whole corner ten years ago He had 30 employees you couldn't walk in there and stand on a line Now he has one little window in the corner and he's a one-man operation and Very seldom do people go in there and get 30 headshots made Because everything's done in the computer. So now That business got cut off how because now you go still get a headshot and that fucking dude charges you 350 and Sends you the CD, but now all you have to do is make one copy of that

take it to sunset by Fairfax and there's a casting offices there you take them in there and the chick will download it for 50 bucks Which is always a real kick in the balls. Yeah, why does he did cause me dollars? You're allowed to have three shots But once you have four it quite I'm exaggerating it cost you like 35 bucks maybe for show fax Okay, and if you want to be in commercials You have to go there will a brayer upstairs by Pekko and upstairs to have a little office

And you got to give those guys 50 fucking dollars per headshot and your commercial agent because he's a fucking mutt He'll think he's the Johnny creative and he'll go do me a favor go down there Give him the shot of you mowing the lawn Give him the shot of you dressed as a cop. Give him the shot of you fucking putting the fire out Give him a shot of you, you know fucking cooking. That's 200 bucks though I used to tell him pick a fucking shot and go to work cock sucker What is it like for you during headshot sessions like the place where our office used to be there were always people shooting headshots like in front of The screen dreadful like do you just hate every second of it? I don't know what's worse taking the pictures or no looking at them

Listen, I just went I was gonna sign with an agent. I want to talk to her She gave me a sheet of paper. She goes you got to go drop three fucking pick one of these guys So I picked the chicken the valley Nice lady, you know, I went up there, you know, do I know she's a bad photographer? She's a good photographer. Listen who did he couldn't make me look good at this age Okay, my fucking hair is done. My face looks like I got hit and stretched You know the fucking headshots just don't look good to me out of the 80 fucking headshots There's one of them that I let you see

Because the rest of them are not flattering at all. I've never been flat. You know I'm saying like some headshots are real Some headshots are fucking real like when I did that deniro movie the guy and me hit it off Right, he sent you a bunch of cool pictures, right? He sent me cool pictures from the set But when I asked him to do my head shots. Oh boy There were a little too real my head was a little too big. You know I'm saying like it was just it's weird It's the fucking way it is a big guy. I hate My face my head is huge But that John Panette used to have a joke like people say I used to lost a lot of weight in my face

He's like how big was my head before? Oh my god, you know when somebody shows me a headshot or a picture It's the last thing I want to see I Don't ever want to see me fucking in the movie I can't sit there like most people invite you to the house and put their reel on and go dog Look at me in all these movies. You're like listen, do me a favor bro turn this off You you're embarrassing yourself in front of me and then you have people who I I can't even listen to these podcasts Like I don't want to hear my fucking voice. It's really weird ever Ever I got to tell you something guys. I'm a little fucked up

These little Eureka vapor pants, this is the new and improved I've been talking to you for a long time man, and that's the thing that in this town What you have in this town is you have this new growth for medical marijuana You people think all around the country that it's like a party out here. It's a party That's also become like the wow wow West a lot of people unrestricted and a lot of fucking people just starting up companies Putting fucking bad chemicals and I just talked to a medical marijuana owner that said he had a lung infection It was in the hospital for three weeks with something. It's called something not bronchitis But something else pneumonia smoking like fucking v-pens and all this shit Jesus

But he also said that the people lied to him that the brand that he liked They said that they had no additives in there and when he went to the hospital the hospital told them otherwise They're like everybody's coming in on that fucking v-pen So you have to be very careful a couple weeks ago after I did that flight to New York I took a pen with me And somebody in Irvine gave me a bunch of little pens

And he goes smoke these and on the plane I hit them and I noticed that something didn't feel right So I gave him away. I told a friend of mine these ain't what you usually get do you want these and he goes I'll fucking take them. I'll redo something with them whatever I noticed it and I cut back on it And when your partner called and we started talking I was very happy I asked him a lot of questions Because I didn't know I don't know who to fucking trust. I'm not gonna trust the people at the medical marijuana store They're trying to make the sale So they're gonna look you in the eye and go on on all I would give it to my mother. No, you won't

You know this tastes like whatever it's like in the fucking eight in the mid eighties When the hardest thing to do wasn't to get coke out of columbia It was smuggling the ether alcohol into columbia. It was so hard at the time The the people who added in the states were racking up the prices So these fucking drug dealers said fuck you. We'll cut this shit with gasoline. Let me tell you something There's a lot of nights. I snorted some gasoline coke and turpentine coke And at three in the morning when you're all coked up and there's a chick making in front of you You just snorted you don't give a fuck if it's gas gasoline and what do you ask like is this is this gasoline and they say

Oh, yeah, yeah, the coke dealers. Yeah, I'd ask them in Spanish. Yeah, is this gasoline in here? What type of what type of wash does this have at you? Not kosher You never ask you just snorted to shut your fucking mouth and there was a coke. I snorted that smelled like cat piss It was cheap. It was fucking effective. And so it still works. Oh my god. It was fucking tremendous But you had a headache for four fucking days For four days you had a headache your voices and shit. You know your nose hurt That sounds terrible teeth got loose So you got to be careful with that the same thing with these rapists

And you guys have been doing it for Four or five six years. I mean you guys had tremendous machines in the cl2 Now it's to a different level. They got the sativas and this do you have taste to it? It's very tasteful. It just has none of the fucking malooki juices in it. We just keep natural turpings That's what they call it natural turpings How do you say like a cousin to the pop plan? Take these which is a natural cleaning product but

they have the same flavor seem I don't have uh, he's not on camera because at this point, you know I'm saying He just wants to talk to that and admit to me But let me tell you something a couple of weeks ago on 60 minutes They were talking about what's going on in Italy now and what the mafia is doing now They're fucking cutting olive oil They're cutting olives. They're cutting, you know, they're cutting high-end olive oil People are testing it in the states and it's fucking seed oil

And that's why I think a lot of the businesses that you're talking about like a lot of the A lot of like how you saying those businesses went away I think they're coming back because like I don't trust any of these guys You you don't you can't trust anyone So that's why and it costs a little bit more and unfortunately a lot of them are hipsters So they like you hate them, but a lot of these smaller companies are fucking great they're a little bit more expensive and Sometimes the people working there kind of douchebags like the vegan people, but they make good stuff

It's like that that's what you need these days Because when you like when you get something shipped, I want to have fucking Ikea to get lights for the studio And they just didn't work We like you go there you spend all day walking around the thing and they just know that all their shit is so Inexpensive that some of them it's going to get returned and they just don't give a shit It's interesting. I think it's coming back. What's coming back like personal service like smaller companies like small small businesses I think it's like really coming back What's I got to do a put in turpentine? No, it's like companies like this. Oh, no

These guys have just kept getting better. Yeah and better and better You know, how many edible country companies have started And gone away. How many edibles have we eaten here Lee thousands and only the stars are bad You know chiba chiba anti Dolores anti Dolores before then people were coming and going For years way before I met you the edible business people were coming They were strong at first then one day you went back and there was nothing in the fucking thing Then you went back again And it was fucking horrible and then a week later you told the guy at the store and they're like, uh

They went out of business that happened for fucking three years with edibles It's terrible when you take it and then you're expecting it to work and it just doesn't it's like a huge letdown for the first three years When I was going to kushmark They always show up with edibles now the first edible I purchased that was death that was stuff close to tripping Where you know now and laters. Oh, yeah, I love them now and laters They had these now and laters that the oil would be at the bottom of the bag And you would trip people were saying what the fuck is and other things So I always trusted them for edibles. So I would keep going and I tell you man, they would get

Four new edibles a week And it was like three out of four companies were failing Because they found out that it was they were buying weed To fucking process it the smart guys were the guys that were growing weed Taking the weed beating the weed getting that powder off it then bringing that weed to the store Selling it to them or having their own store and clipping all this shit that they're not going to use And that's what they put in the edibles. So there's no fucking loss That was that the companies that ended up doing all that stuff

Like I guess you could buy a lot of waste from people, right? You could buy leaves that they don't use and suck the extract out These people were like buying at high cost like they were going into a storm going give me a pound of weed wholesale That's still too much. You're putting an eight on each fucking brownie. You can't charge 55 bucks at 32 50 Or if you're putting if it's yeah, if it's 32 fucking 50 An eight how you gonna charge 40 dollars for these things? So all these edible companies went out of business Lee It was hysterical. So you have to applaud

The eureka vapors the chibichu the force won stars They've been doing it for years and adjusting to the market You know what you said at the beginning? It's a wild west. So people some people don't know what the fucking west Years ago, bro, they were weed stores that you went in And they had whole cakes that Lee you would die Whole cakes Chocolate truffle with fucking whipped cream and coconut chunks hanging out of it. You would salivate why you were buying weed salivate

Unbelievable everywhere you went how much you have to eat of it He probably did a little fucking slice and you get fucked up There was a there was a a weed store on violent close to victory when I first moved to north hollywood There was a weed store on violent and when you went in there and spent 25 bucks or more Right, you got a free edible and the edibles were cakes lemon meringue Chocolate whatever what are you looking around for chocolate whatever You're looking around you make me all creepy. There's a fucking isis in the room. There might be who knows

But anyways the chocolate cakes You're talking about cake. So the chocolate cake So years ago like one time me raffi and john westling went to a boston red sox game And john westling it was boston red sox against no it was the houston Astros against the dodgers because clemens was pitching and we were all right right and raffi had a bag and then that bag Was just pieces of chocolate cake that were at those days people didn't know what even the milligrams were in them People were just making chocolate cakes chocolate truffles Cheese cake everything was very sweet in the beginning

But then diabetics got more fucking was started dying Right because they're fucking eating those things and smoking dope and fucking eating cheeseburgers So they started adjusting to society. They started making sugar-free fucking either banana bread company That we used to get that killer banana bread right our biggest business was sugar-free banana bread That she sold to a bunch of people went to yoga and shit like that Sugar-free banana bread so on top of that people were like wait a second. I'm getting fucked up But I'm gaining 80 fucking pounds a month here. So the edamame became smaller smaller

Smaller and smaller very seldom now in these areas where you see a chocolate cake for sale The biggest thing you'll see is a fucking brownie and people don't even want those Like there's a company. I forget what their name are. They sell big hunky brownies. Yeah, they have 22,000 milligrams in them, but I don't want to eat that What about you're talking you're making fun of the joint I brought in When they were I got offered a free edible ones. It was like a 15 milligram edible probably the size of like Four big brownies. Like it was a huge chunk. It's 15 milligrams

Yeah, you're like he's gonna eat that fucking whole thing I don't want nobody wants to eat that whole thing anymore. No, nobody wants to eat a whole chocolate cookie That's 9 000 calories to get 100 like all right The soak the know what's the cookies that the people came to the San Diego that we used to eat all the time the brownies so kind so kind The so kind cookie is a yummy cookie. Yeah. Yeah, and it's 200 milligrams I'll take the bullet because let me tell you something so kind puts about 800 milligrams in that cookie So if you eat a half of so kind, you're gonna be fucked up. Yeah, you're gonna be fucked up

That's the one thing about so kind. There's a lot of animals that tell you that 200 milligrams They're really fucking 800 milligrams. I'm telling you right now because I eat them constantly Yeah, no, yeah, a lot of them lie about it a lot of them and then honestly you said it like about how they keep getting smaller I like a lot of the chocolates and they're fine The gummies are the perfect edible to me Do you have the least taste of marijuana? And they're just they go down easy and it's you still make faces Yeah, I make faces at every hold your nose like you're gonna fucking gag like when I was six

I used to drink milk the nuns would hit me if I didn't drink milk So I had to drink milk with my nose fucking sealed. You know how annoying that I hate it fucking doing that. Yeah, I thought about drinking milk. I was relieved. We stopped at yum yum donuts Oh, yeah, and I almost got a carton of milk and I remembered what it used to do to me. Jesus christ Like I there was some days that I would drink it and I could drink it and just get a certain taste of it And I could drink it really fast, but there were some days And I would Are you gagging thinking about it? There were some days

I would drink it And the milk would fly out of my fucking mouth Like I don't like to taste the fucking plain milk and there's nothing better than that Would you ever do like the gallon challenge? We have to drink a whole gallon of milk I can't drink it wouldn't pass my fucking throat It will not pass my fucking throat If I close my nose and do the thing right like let's say I get a A piece of cake for example, I could probably drink a little bit of the fucking milk

But if not, no, no those that that should save a long time Do you is that why you don't drink your coffee with milk or any of that? No No, I don't like coffee. Well, you're like milkshakes. I love milkshakes. So are milkshakes. Okay. I don't know I don't know like a nice banana shake Like there's bananas at the house right now that are perfect for a milkshake They're like three hours before they start turning that fucking those they get the chicken pot I don't like bananas when they got those brown spots. I can't do it. I fucking can't stand all gag That's what make bananas make me gag

But If you're a professional, you know that those bananas So they have brown spots that delicious in a milkshake I just can't tolerate them Especially if I open up the banana and it's got like that soil like somebody kicked it like a bruise I get disgusted. Okay, but I'll throw it in the milkshake with some ice cream that that banana is nice and sweet That that real fucking brown banana where it gets black like that I don't even want to smell that shit

I don't even my mom was Cuban and she loved her bananas All the way like that like to that fucking place where they're really sweet I couldn't even stand next to them on the table like if I see them at the table I'd have to walk into the other room. I don't like brown bananas. Can you do plantains? I love but we'll see with those big bananas. That's what they become you chop those motherfuckers Puerto rican Nobody makes a better plantain than Puerto rican You got a Puerto rican with two fucking bananas A bag if you don't see a Puerto rican about to make plantains. He ain't got a bag a brown bag. Yeah, he ain't real

Because the brown bag is what you wrap those motherfuckers and hit them with the hammer And then you take the grease out of them and that's where the grease goes into that fucking bag So because cubans they do it like give you like little pieces. What what are Puerto rican? Do they give you like a mash? No, they're all the same. They're all the same But some people make them big like some people make them real thin Okay, crispy. I don't go for those. I want them to have a little meat The one on Chandler next to that Chinese place had had some good ones That cuban place on Chandler next to the Chinese place we go to you go to that cuban place

I went there once. Yeah, just to get the the uh rose compoyo. I wanted something that's pretty good But I don't I haven't had like was it fresh. I thought so it took them like 15 minutes to make it 15 20 minutes I'm with you. I'm with you dog. What's going on with your world? What do you got this weekend? This weekend. Oh, it's uh, paula's birthday. So I planned something for so what are you gonna do? Um, I want to hear this fucking no, it's so San Diego No, no, it's like a fucking momo to get down there jumping around. No, we're going to dinner in downtown on friday and then Please no one tell her fucking uh on saturday. She really likes pugs So there's this pug rescue and I called and they said we can come and play

So we're gonna go I'm gonna go surprise her with that and we're gonna go get breakfast Then play she likes around here What place is that I'm scared to even ask it's just a breakfast place near me It's a uh, it used to be like a new york bagel new york bagel cafe But they they actually ruined it. So I might try to find a new place It was we had the best place. It was like a little breakfast Like a little count like a couple small tables They made great like eggs and bagels and just like it was amazing

And then this woman just bought it and started painting it white and making it look like it was a farm So what is her birthday? Huh? What is her birthday? Uh friday and what time you're picking up? After I don't know you getting the flowers or anything. I got her some gifts. Yeah, you got some suits. What are you wearing? No, it's not a place for suits We taking a friday. It's a place called perch They got the steak that you like that we like it's a steak in french fries. It's okay

It's fucking amazing. Then what are you doing after perch going home? That's it. Yeah, probably give her the jewish birthday cake. You gotta give it Oh, yeah, she wants she wants cold stone birthday cake, but that's it cold stone birthday cake They have cold stone birthday cake Yeah, she says that's what she says because you like you like carvel. She's like joey should try the cold stone one They use actual pieces of cake in it Are you fucking kidding me or what? I'm not kidding you. What about partillos that has cake shake? Have you tried that? No, no, no

I go to get the sandwich stick to that a steak shake. I'm definitely gonna fat fuck me a heart attack Especially at this fucking age. You're gonna get your car and put on the air conditioner There you are in your car and fucking went apart bleeding from the nose and shit All right, you got a good weekend plan. I'm going to charlotte. I'm fucking excited. I'm leaving tonight I'm getting the fuck out of here nice and high. I'm gonna pass on the plane wake up Relax and got one show Thursday Two shows friday and two shows on saturday a lot of interesting shit's going on man

A lot of weird stuff happened. I tried to bring this show back That I did with this guy And you know you ever you ever have a oh shit There he is If it's not captain evil himself Look at him scream box And and there you are. I think what's up my brother? Not much. How are you man? We're uh, we're uh digging ourselves out actually still a lot of snow on the east coast

Old man winter took an enormous dump on new jersey just uh last saturday sunday And uh, yeah, so it's it's been pretty messy outside actually. I kind of wish I was where you are Yeah, no, it was nice and warm today. You know, it's crazy That how the media takes those snorts no they take those snow storms now And they blow them so much out of proportion. We grew up in those snow storms Tell them where we grew up. It's the second hilliest town in the fucking country So when it snowed more than three inches and you were from the ages of eight to 16 You know, there's some good sledding. We used to go behind a police station on 40 fucking 6 3

That hill there will kill you. I see the kid hit a fucking car. I see some good shit on that motherfucking street growing up Yeah, uh, uh, the hills were extremely severe in north bergen Uh, uh, you could you could easily lose your life and the and the thing about it too about the 70s Uh, being a kid was that there was no adult supervision whatsoever. You know, you you grabbed your sled You went out at you know, 10 a.m. Uh, because it was a school day, you know, there was a snow day There was no school. You went out at 10 a.m. And you didn't come back until dark You know and and you just went and You broke an arm or cracked your head open or whatever you shovel snow

You kept going you fucking went down hills Then you took a break because some guy would pull over go help me dig myself out I'll give you the small 20. They'd be 60 years So that's three thousand fifty fucking cents a piece and they'll need help all day You need help all day and then in between that and your feet would be fucking freezing But unless you were a fag you wouldn't go home You wouldn't go home I don't give a fuck if you had my feet would be purple by the time I got home at eight o'clock at night

Jumping in puddles in the ice and you didn't go home by the time you got home your feet with these two pieces Of ice the blood was frozen Nothing when these kids you remember now you remember the big hill by balsanos house. Fuck. Yeah, we use the cemetery Cars up the hill You know because people needed to get up the hill where we walk in cemetery was So people need to get up the hill and we would push the cars up the hill and they would throw us five 10 bucks Five 10 bucks, you know we buy a shitload of beer Stick it in the snow to keep it cold and we would hang out all night

Yeah, those uh now they they the year when I was in the eighth grade and you were a freshman in high school That was one of the snowiest February's on tap. It was uh the winter of 78 78 77 78. It was the fuck we had we had to stay in school till june 29th that year Because there was so many fucking school days and I remember there being fucking fetus snow And you'd shovel the basketball court and you played basketball because you had no fucking You had no school So you'd call all your friends listen get to canady school tomorrow at 10 o'clock

We'd shovel the fucking courts And we'd play ball till fuck it till it till it became black ice and somebody slipped and broke their fucking neck Well, we had the woods by my house Where we would make the treads for our sleds because we had the flexible flyers back in the day And I mean we would be doing 20 30 miles an hour going down these hills whiz and right past big trees. I mean, you know, we take ourselves out real easy Back in the day, but the uh, you you remember there was uh behind charles court

We used to hang out in the woods. Oh, fuck and go sleigh riding like maniacs A lot of good things happened. I learned how to light fires in those woods I got good and light fires behind those woods there I think everybody did then you shut the fire down and shit your man That was an orphanage back there and you could still see the The concrete from the levels like you could see the basement It at some points, you know, by the time we were growing up it was all covered with dirt But somebody just released an article on facebook about seven months ago the history of giving out terrace

And it had how it was an orphanage and they burnt down and a bunch of children died So that's why all the there was always spooky stories on giving out terrace Especially after our friends died there that it was an orphanage. It was a one-way street Real fucking interesting. I if somebody has on facebook, please send that it was the history Actually, I would love to see that those homes are all new on charles court. Half of those homes were very new A lot of people don't know that the other side were old my side where I grew up and those that side Those houses were all old. They were built in the 60s. No, they weren't there was no no no no no no You sure?

It it was all farmland where we lived. Okay, I've got it I only lived a few blocks from you on 34th street and there was a mansion across the street Uh, uh, it was a large home and then there was a servants quarters at the end of my block and my block was actually stables So, I mean we're talking about, you know, pre pre world war two Uh, uh, some of the homes were built in Uh, uh, easily built in the 30s Uh, uh, um easily easily built in the early 30s. Yeah, our section our section of north bergen was probably the oldest The oldest part of town and uptown was developed later

It's good to fucking no lee. We got any questions from rey canella rey used to be a big time on uh, a tv network He he told to suck his dick They told him to suck his dick and he went out of his own and he created scream box You were there. You were there when it happened. I was there when it happened And uh, he's doing very well with scream box But the thing about rey every time he's called in and we've talked he's always Opened up my eyes. I went to a meeting right before the new year

And this guy was in the room real fucking, uh The arrogant guy He wanted to be heard and he was talking about how The advertising budgets for television networks have Been the lowest they've ever been next year this year right here 2016 that the budgets were released. I don't It's not my world

So I don't read about it, but when somebody talks about it I I look at that person like a god because I should be reading up about this What is really going on with just plain television? Well, uh, a lot has gone on and actually I think uh 2016 Is going to be a really tough year for broadcasting cable when it comes to when it comes to their business model Um, the best way, you know, like the best way to explain it, you know, really is is, you know When you examine your own habits when you watch television Uh, um, what you know who watches live tv anymore?

Uh, um Technology has allowed the consumer To watch television a la carte You know, whatever shows we feel like watching When we feel like watching it when I started in cable That wasn't the case when I started in cable television um You were

At the mercy of the schedule you watched Sliders or the twilight zone or quantum leap, you know You watch these shows when we scheduled them and the best you could do was to record them on vhs for later But as technology advanced and people had more control tivo played a big part in it People got acclimated To a different way of using television and so people use television today very differently than they did when you and I were kids All right, when you and I were kids, you know, charlie brown's christmas was on once A year you had to sit through the commercials and if you missed it you were screwed till next year

You know and in today's world, that's not the case at all. You could pop in a dvd and watch charlie brown's uh, uh christmas or Uh, uh, you know stream it online anytime you want So technology has changed the way that people are using television There was no such thing as binge watching just um, I would say 10 12 years ago There was no such thing as this where you would sit down and watch an entire series Episode after episode after episode I did it with the vhs I remember sitting there watching something on vhs and watch. Oh Years I got like bilko on vhs and I would sit there and watch

You know episode after episode i'm a stoner though, you know, not for most americans won't sit there This is 20 years ago. I've totally a thousand times. There's no better thing. Yeah, I got in trouble for doing that Sitting there watching fucking 20 episodes of television, you know, I mean people been doing it forever if you had the collections Yeah, there were some there were those of us that like to absorb, you know, uh, uh entertainment that way But when you when you work for a channel and cable and it's it's you know, and you're a programmer in cable You know, it's your job to understand how the audience is watching you and how the audience is watching your channel and then you Adjust accordingly to the audience and you know, it's a big

I I'm one of those that believe that Um, the tail doesn't wear the dog People want to know why there are so many housewife shows on tv Why there's so much reality shows on tv and the reason is simply because you watch it If you stop watching it it goes away if we you and I go to a rock concert and we don't like the band Well, we don't go back Uh, and it's no different in television when people stop watching the show it goes away um

But what what's what's happening right now in the 21st century is so technology has changed the way that people are using television And then price point Has come into play The cable systems can only charge what the market can bear And cable bills are extremely expensive now And we have a generation of millennials growing up who can't afford 150 200 bucks a month For cable and instead

They're choosing alternatives. And so that's what we're seeing right now. This is all part of what's called the digital disruption So we're seeing the younger generation Cancel cable it's called unplugging And they're subscribing to services like netflix services like mine like screen box People are choosing entertainment a la carte As opposed to the way that they're getting their entertainment now. How many how many channels you get at home coco?

How many how many channels you get at home lee? 9 000 I don't get any I don't get any anymore. I've I uh, I got rid of cable like a more than a year ago for that reason And it's really interesting you're talking about this. I read this article Uh, it's from july of last year But they were talking about the like the problem is espn is gonna have because that's really the only reason I had cable for a while Yeah, they're talking about how it was like the 20th most desired station I remember reading this. I just looked it up. It's the 20th most most desired station

But because of what espn charges the cable companies you're paying like seven bucks a month for espn So there's a lot there's a there's 20 of the there's a huge chunk of people paying for who don't want it So that that's why they're cutting hosts And their ad revenue went down because they're paying billions of billions of dollars to air like monday night football and stuff Like they're they have huge expenditures Dude, you're dead on and actually espn is probably the the the best example right now to talk about how television has changed Because um, we all watch sports of one or you know one one form or another. I love football Uh, I know there's a lot of basketball fans out there

We all watch sports and you have to watch sports live So espn is the number one rated cable network when it comes to live Viewership and live viewership is where all the money is at when it comes to advertising Now espn There's a couple of things about espn that makes them interesting number one is They don't own a lot of content And I'll try to explain a a channel like usa network or a channel like

Tbs they have original comedies. They have original dramas. They have reality shows show channels like bravo And they own that content well espn Licenses the right to broadcast sports So they don't own that content That's money going out the door For them to pay for the rights to broadcast those games So as so when when you look at espn compared to a usa network espn doesn't own a lot of its own content It is constantly shelling out for this content and trust me the stuff ain't cheap. Okay

so espn has that going on as a business model the other thing they have going on is unplugging they've lost seven million Households yes seven million subscribers since in the last two years espn 2013 You're so talking about espn, right? Yeah, yeah seven million Seven million subscribers. I can live without a point Cable channels have two ways to make money. There are two revenue streams. Okay One is advertising the commercials, you know, they make their money through advertising But the second revenue stream is what they charge the cable system per subscriber to carry them and li was on the money 100%

espn gets six dollars and 60 cents per subscriber From the Comcasts and the time warners of the world and because they're owned by disney too So the disney packages other shitty channels that no one wants and makes them if they want the most popular one espn And they're the parents same company yes espn is owned by disney and you think you think star wars makes a lot of money for disney espn makes a shitload of money for disney so Here's espn's problem They're losing households Okay, so the money that they're

That revenue stream is being disrupted. It is it's it's shrinking year after year since 2013 and Because households are shrinking the ad revenue shrinks because there are fewer eyeballs watching the channel So It's a it's a pendulum that's not going to swing back the other way You know, this is just a sign of the times and there the 2016 is going to be a difficult year Because a lot of people are going to more and more people are are unplugging And using OTT services and we're going to and we'll talk about that in a second

And because they're unplugging The advertisers are saying hey You there are fewer people there were fewer eyeballs this year than there was last year. Why should I pay the same if not more? Let me ask you so let's say i'm broke And I have a computer and I have whatever is there a way for me to watch TV for free Absolutely. I go shit. I do it all the time. Uh, it's there's a ton of services. Um That you can just there's there's apps now like when I went to israel when I was a freshman in college

There were there were sites that you could go and like they would buffer all the time and and and you could find like little episodes Now they have this app that you can put on a little computer stick like a little amazon fire that's 30 bucks And you have literally access to Everything you you have access to channels. I showed paula. There's they have access to mexican cable channels For free for free. Yep A hundred that was in israel and you have no that's here. That's here now. What about here? I have no dough. How much does this app cost me zero and you just go and download an apple Yeah, you could even if as long as you have a laptop. I have the laptop that has an hdmi cord

Plug-in and I was running it off that for a while, but then now I have an amazon fire Can I watch modern family? Yep. Can I come on you can watch anything you can watch while it's playing or a week later They do have some of them have Live streams of it sometimes those go down, but literally within like we watch a shark tank. We really like shark tank Within an hour of it being aired. It's a perfect hd The same episode that was on that night Same exact episode so You know the broadcast networks are still available over the air

Yeah, all it takes is 60 70 bucks at radio shack for an antenna not even I bought one I bought two of them on amazon for 30 bucks. I watched that's how I watch football Yeah, exactly So yes, there are absolutely alternatives this this generation growing up the millennials, you know, they're gonna be like our grandparents were This is going to be a saving generation Because the marketplace has priced them out of just so many different areas And that's why we're seeing the rise of services like like netflix like screen box The those services are referred to as uh, uh,

OTT's so what is not to interrupt you reyman What do you spend total a month for entertainment? How much do you spend total a month for entertainment in your home? Lee, I want you to add your bill also Let reyman go first and I'll ask you well, you know, I'm I'm Because of my profession and such I've got a lot of things running. Um I I have I have several accounts and things like that Um, but I would say I'm I'm in I'm in the one, you know the 140 to 180 range a month

141 80 And you still have cable in your home I'm sorry. You still have cable in your home. Yes, okay, but uh, uh, but not in every room not in every room room Um Whether there's a tv my kids don't have cable whatsoever both my girls live here As still and uh, no, there's no cable whatsoever. Uh, they both use uh gaming platforms What are you on netflix? amazon hulu screen box

How about you dr. Chewbacca the dr. Chewbacca. So right now I'm going to include internet because that's pretty much what I What's your cost you 86 because I do that and then I have netflix for 799 and then I have amazon prime for a year it comes out to eight bucks a month So all together. What do you spend a month 86? But and what are you spending? I was spending 236 a month Holy shit, fucking if you want anything on dark tv, it was like close to 150 115. What's direct tv? What do you mean that sports? That's dirty movies. No, I didn't fucking do any of that Dude, I just want fucking so I want espn news which is of course doesn't come with espn

And you get like I don't know wanted nfl network to get the nfl games I don't know what I don't remember. I haven't had it for over a year, but it's great I don't miss it at all and and the crazy thing is i'm just turning because i'm looking at uh at u-ray But The my mom you said millennials my mom Is good at technology, but she doesn't really like she like she doesn't like it if it's not necessary She doesn't watch anything live anymore. I gave her my netflix password and she's happy like I'd lay she I see what you watch. She watches it all the time. She loved people love it now

I love it. Listen. The only thing I would watch Is 202. I mean the local news in california is basically fucking garbage I sit there and watch some save sharks 505 late breaking news You know you interrupt 505. I want to see a war I want to see a guy get hit by a fucking car not a whale get caught off marina del re And they got nets all around them and it's a no no no no So i've been watching 202. Yeah, I love world news tonight I love uh, I love diane soya and I like the new guy. He ain't that bad

But they'd tell me what I want to hear in the first 10 minutes And then I turn the tv back to mercy and we switch it back to Uh Go diego go Okay, so she likes all those little channels at the end How much do I watch hbo? I have no fucking idea how much I watch hbo, but here's the thing though now Hbo a couple months ago

You can you can pay 20 bucks a month and not have to do cable because that's what you're paying the cable company to do To do your hbo service. So just now it's called hbo go. It's an app on your roku, right? I have it. So yeah, so yeah They're saying fuck Call them and threaten them and said she's leaving cable And they asked her how come and she goes give me a number And then she took them to the cleaners. So we have a bunch of shit. No show time We have nothing basically For I don't know what what she's paying, but it ain't a lot because she told him she was quitting

The only the only thing I've actually thought about getting is maybe getting a uh A tivo again because I do miss being able to dvr things I get home lately and I put on youtube and all the movies I need are on youtube now I caught two movies on youtube last week didn't have to pay dick for them Really and that's hard to find on youtube movies are like the hardest ones. Yeah, I know youtube something. It's called youtube something It's my wife youtube red that would be some movies couple old movies that I wanted to watch They were also hbo movies They were hbo movies

I watched the one with richard gear and I watched the one gaudy With what our mom designed to play gaudy and shit like that So what's going on with screen box raymond people love to scream at night cocksucker Yes, they do It's although it's kind of hard to well never mind I wouldn't go there But it was it last year was a really really great year for screen box and You know just just to keep going on on on the point that you and lea making

What you guys are doing is you're using services that are called otts Okay, so next time next time you want to you want to you know Impress your friends and make it look like you know what you're talking about tell them that you're you're into otts now And what that means is over the top And so if you're using a service like YouTube or a netflix or screen box like us You don't need cable you simply need a wi-fi signal Okay, so otts means over the top and this is the new platform that's emerged

This is your amazon prime your hulu again These are services that don't require a cable connection. They simply require a wi-fi signal Now screen box has been we've been around now for a good year and a half and last year 2015 Last year was a terrific year for us because we really expanded our our reach and we expanded our distribution We are now available on xbox one We're available on xbox 360

We're also available on ps3 and we're available on ps4 So if you just boot up your gaming system and you head on over to the app store you can download the screen box app And the first 30 days are free and you can sample the channel and we are a horror specific channel just horror movies and Given you know the way horror films, you know, uh, we're we're the bastard stepchild of the film industry This sort of service Works perfectly for horror films because we present horror movies the way that they're supposed to be seen No frigging commercials, you know all the bad what when I worked in cable and we would air a horror movie

It would just break my heart in a million pieces because first of all we would have to cut it if it was too long Then we would have to cut out all of the bad language Then you'd have to cut out whatever nudity there was and then finally you had to cut out a fair amount of the violence And you're removing the elements that make it a horror film Here in the ott world when you're paying a subscription fee a direct fee The shackles are off and you could just you could pick whatever film you want the movies are uncut unedited And you can enjoy these horror films the way that they were meant to be enjoyed Uh, so it was a terrific year for us our distribution

Skyrocketed from there being on the gaming system So now we're available on roku. We're available on those gaming platforms. We're on amazon fire We have a home page screenbox.com. You could just sign up through the home page So, you know, you know, you look you know this from being a traveling comic More distribution means more opportunity And if you look at what's happening in broadcasting cable their distribution is shrinking You know and in the ot world our distribution is growing What's like leasing a car? Why am I going to pay for the whole network where all I watch is one fucking show on your network?

Why am I paying for showtime when all I watch is sometimes the 1215 I whack one off Late night. They show you a little glimpse of the asshole. You bang one out and uh, you know What else is on fucking showtime nothing? Who the fuck knows hbo if I watch uh To move the show with the rock and the other kid. I don't mind and ballers. Yeah And every once I I just watched the whitney coming special. I watch hbo. They had the sinatra documentary You know, but you got to buy all four channels now because that's how you get the best selection You get the sinatra thing you get two things at once, but it also fucks my world up When I got to see tombstone

When you're playing tombstone 18 fucking times a day and I'm paying a buck and a half for that a month I don't want to fucking see tombstone if I want to see tombstone. I got the dvd. I fucking put the dvd I want to see something I haven't fucking seen any fucking thousand times That's what pisses me the fuck off. Sorry about that people. Well, no, but that's but that's exactly the point And that's the difference between pay cable and an ot t service pay cable. You're at the mercy of the programmers You know, you're gonna watch titanic Day in day out, you know month after month after month you're gonna see that ship go down But the wonderful thing about services like, you know, like screen boxes. We have we have movies. We have series

We have documentaries you can sit down and you can take in all 20 episodes of the hunger You can sit down and watch all 26 episodes of elvira It's all at your leisure and you know, you get to take it with you wherever you go on your phone now When I travel and I go to the airport, dude, you're on the road all the time when you travel What's everybody in the airport doing looking at the fucking phone looking at their thing Me looking at me. I'm watching anybody who's walking funny. You know me. I'm watching the exit door I don't watch the fucking phone. I save the phone for not even on the plane. Do I relax anymore? It's amazing. I get no relaxation. You should have been a Sicilian

Raymond, I look at you and I understand you want to sit with your back to the corner. So you Oh, fuck. Yeah, Raymond. I look at you. I understand me. I'm a little different I like I'm I'm sitting in the airport looking at my device when you get stabbed in the head with a fucking arrow Don't come fucking 911 and me cocksucker because I told you you're from jersey. You're always watching the door You're fucked. I don't give a fuck what shows on who's jumping up and down Put that thing down. Yeah, especially public places like that But the weird thing is Raymond we're talking here and I'm looking at you and I'm thinking that I really know you 40 years like we're fucking old

I really really really know you 40 years when people start that expression around. Oh, I know I'm 22 fucking years You know I'm three years. You're fucked. But the drugs made it seems like I really know Raymond 40 fucking years How scary is that that we would go to his basement and play in a band And I was the lead singer and we had a fire John Bender. How it's just amazing to know that lesson I still have this guy lurking in my life It is it is funny. It is fucking tremendous. I and you and I have changed so little Yes, we have so how old were you when you knew him when you first met him? 12 11, you know

Yeah, grandma school so 10 11 If we if you had thought when you were 12 that we'd be talking to him on a computer screen And then you'd be running it on you'd be running a tv station on the internet not even close not even fucking close I thought Raymond was going to be an actor. I don't know. I always thought Raymond was going to be in the theater He always did a mean colombo. So I always thought he was going to be in the theaters Or he was going to be in the actor or something on tv and look I was right he ended up Programming television, but I still remember you know when we were kids We loved comic books

We had and and I still have my comic collection And I know you had an awesome comic book collection. I don't know what the fuck happened to it I used to remember we used to go up to brian whatever his name was The guy on 43rd street and we would ask him for a comp. I robbed that dude a couple times and take his little fucking Well Well, thank christ the statue the limitations have run out What was his name he lived with his mother and he had the front porch the front porch. He turned into a store I'm not getting it guys. This is for what?

comic books Jesus So he had a he turned his front porch And half of his living room into a store. Okay He had a massive collection massive kind of turned it into a store It was amazing and if you wanted like he had like Superman something So if you wanted Superman something he would have to walk to the back and ask his mom

And he would come out with a wrapper around and say watch watch. Don't touch it He would do all creepy things with it. He was a great guy You know, I was just a little klepto back then he turned his back I clipped him for a couple silver surfers and shit like that if I'd sell him back to him That was the best you could trade him and sell him a little man. Oh my god. He was such a sweetheart He lived so we you know, we were always into Things that were wildly imaginative, you know and music as well And comedy because we got caught my mother caught you and I listened into

Richard Pry records in my basement. Yeah And my mother flipped out that what the hell are you listening to? And music and such and we haven't really traveled I mean, we haven't really, you know, some kids dream of going to the moon or some kids dream of curing cancer I you know, I like zombie movies and you know, you you kept us in stitches You you were hysterically hysterically funny. So I I think our trajectories are aren't all that surprising really Where can these people find you? How can they subscribe to screen box

Well, like I said, you know, we're on we're on all of those various platforms that the xbox both xbox one and xbox 360 ps3 and ps4 go to screenbox.com If you want to sign up, it's a great service. We've got you know, we've got not just Not just the theatrical horror films that everybody is familiar with But you know, I like to go for a level of the gravity not found in too many places So, you know, the really interesting stuff is the independent work The foreign films So we really tried to present a very broad spectrum of horror movies and documentaries and series

And and it's a lot of fun. It's 3.99 a month. The first 30 days are free. You can sign up on any of these platforms And you can you can also find us on facebook at at screen box On facebook and we're on twitter as well at screen box tv on twitter And and I'll tell you what I'll tell you what if if Anybody out there that's been listening if you want to if you go to screen box uh on facebook

And leave a comment about this topic that we've been talking about I want, you know I would love to hear from some of the parishioners of the church here that you know Do you own cable? Are you considering unplugging? I'd love to hear your comments on the topic And maybe we'll give away some t-shirts. Maybe the first five folks or, you know, five selected comments Can get a killer screen box t-shirt over at screen box on facebook So, uh, so head over there because I want to you know, this this is very fascinating The shift that we're seeing that we haven't seen anything in in communications like this Since you know the newspaper replaced the town crier

You know, uh, this is the natural progression of communications. So, uh, uh, I'd love to hear from the public I love you cock sucker I'll see you next time. I'm in jersey Yes, and and why don't you wait and and and and I love you too But you know what why why don't you wait till the spring and then come by you guys? Because it's uh, there's a last snowman. I think I'm gonna go back for david gilmore. I'll let you know I'll keep you posted It's an april and a master's square garden on the monday night. I don't know exactly a date, but

You're going to see david gilmore. I'm thinking about it. So I'll keep you posted. I want a great show Who the f*** you thinking dealing with joey bananas to here and then there How about all the rock stars passing away lately? Hey, you know, that's the evolution the 60 the 70s. You can't live forever Drugs, you know, what are you gonna do? Yeah, all the guys from the british invasion are in their 70s And the rockers they inspired the you know, the next wave the led zeppelins and such You know, they're they're not they're not that far behind. So unfortunately, I think we're gonna see uh

Uh, a bit of an unstoppable trend What are you gonna do you then what what did they say 10 out of 10 people die? You know Yeah, yeah, you're making me real f***ing optimistic right now About taking this flight tonight and s*** with my luck and stuff. I love you rey konella Thank you for coming on man. I'm short notice. You're my brother, man I'm happy you're still around and you're still doing your thing. Thank you for having me. I absolutely man Lee was great hearing from you. Lee nice to talk to you, buddy

Thanks. Thanks again for having me and guys like I said stop on over to screenbox.com and and give us a spin Give us a try. Uh, I think you're really gonna enjoy it. Thank you, brother. I love you All right, peace my brother. See you next time. Take care. Bye. Bye Cocksucker, I love this What's up, Lee sciatico now, lee, let me ask you a question Because I know you know about a lot of creepy things. What's going on with the porno industry Like the porno industry took a hit. Where do you go to watch pornography? Well, I am uh, I guess a dirt bag Like do people pay for porno? Fuck. Yeah, but it's I think it's it's sort of like, uh, what what ray's doing where it's, uh,

Like a fetish or not a fetish or genre like very specific People will pay for shit like that like if they like stuff that's outside the norm, maybe They'll pay for that and then other that's where like the cam stuff comes in like that stuff that writer band does Like that like that people like girls make livings doing that now Now, what's the cam exactly? So the cam has has replaced porno. It's like a podcast for porno with a camera Yeah Through paypal or something you can do paypal but like these sites have uh, you buy tokens And then you give them the tokens and then the girls have to cash out to the site

And then they dance or they finger bang themselves. Yeah, but they're all live in color Yeah, live in color fucking sure man. You could do it on your phone. Yeah, I'm sure on your fucking phone Where's this country coming to right there on the bus? It's creepy so like They shoot a lot of porn here still in california. I mean they do but they passed the law where I think you have to wear condoms now So I think a lot of them have left because people don't don't like seeing condoms I don't want to see oh, that's disgusting That really is disgusting. You don't want to see a condom. No, no, no. So last weekend the fucking show man

When sarah was on We came with a conversation about whatever about people taking jokes. I don't know what the fuck was going on Right this morning. That's the first thing I wake up to man She's got like 19. There's a crazier new video. I just got if you want me to play it. It's like spot on No, it's kind of crazy. I saved it on purpose All right, put it. Oh my god poor fucking people Listen man, I met her twice once

I I didn't make a judgment. I didn't I don't know what the fuck is going on. What is this? It's like a bad dream It's like a fucking bad dream doesn't hurt your feelings when people do it like didn't make you upset I just I it gets me upset when I vouch for somebody from I think that maybe uh, you know, these people would at least uh But this this is just fucking craziness This is non-stop

every time I fucking uh Turn your head there's a new thing in there. Who sent you this one? I found this today I um, yeah, I'm being accused of stealing jokes and I Wanted to come and talk to you about it and clear my name Because I would never ever do that and I never have How's this? Oh, that's perfect. They can bring you up right over there. Thanks so much

Sure Okay, I'm bengie if you need any other sizes you please let me know right There you go Thank you Hi, how you doing great. All right. Did somebody help you with this? Uh, yeah, she's right over Oh, she's not there. Hi. How are you? Did someone help you today? Yeah, um Hmm, who was it? You know, I don't I don't see him. Oh, that's okay. What did she look like? She's Um, dog hair

um Uh, she was wearing um, she was wearing a blazer. Oh, yeah, all the girls are wearing blazers. Do you know what he looks like? Yeah, he is wearing like a Like a vest like a plaid shirt Like I don't know what everyone who works here wore today. Um Be a short hair. Oh, that'll probably do it just that He's

Black eye black eyes He has black eyes. Yeah, he had black eyes If She had a favorite president. It would probably be Lincoln. That's just confusing Yeah, are there any other distinguishing features? I would guess he probably voted for obama. I know I did And what do you think? I mean, and it goes on to show other examples of it, but I saw this. This is the only marin on it Uh, I jump it up and down. Yeah, check it out. Marin's down here, too

I feel bad because Listen, man When somebody comes to you and says D has stole a joke from me. I want you to give me the benefit of that I want you to li and I had a big discussion on the phone In fact, I called Andrew. I talked to Andrew for a while and we didn't get to the joke And li and I had a discussion how I do two jokes that Are

Joke was it one joke or two jokes? It was one joke. No. Yeah It was the it was the mink a realm of my no, no, I don't do that joke I just said that he said that, you know, you could you would stay in and fuck everything Right. Yeah, my mother has a mink that hasn't moved in years and I had a couple nights. I caught myself saying you know You stay in and fuck everything then then blood and the pillow and even though it's not even the same realm Even a guy like me knew not to go there. I just won't go there I just it's not worth it to me right another joke, but

Look at patrice. Oh neil. I saw like fucking. Oh, yeah, that one is bad No, I know this is the wolf man. This one is really bad. You want to play it short? No, no, I saw it I saw it too. It's just listen, man I sat here like a man and tried to stick up for her last week And try to say that maybe a writer somebody's gonna have to answer for this somebody I'm I wonder if I Did mad tv and they venture out into a lot of other type of shows

Maybe from somebody from mad tv was one of the writers now. He's a show on inside. Amy But or is that a name inside? Amy? But yeah, there's some stuff that's being accused of a stand-up at correct also For yeah, for yeah, they'll tell me right. This is just not good, man And I sat here. I don't even know what the fuck to say because I sat here And was like sometimes shit like this happens. Maybe if it happens two times not fucking 82 times so something's not right here. Does it look at times to you like this could be a setup For what? I don't know like even that mad tv sketch Looked like it was just too easy to steal that

It was just too fucking easy. Well, everything you know what now with the internet everything's easy to steal You can go back and I mean who knows if she did it or who did it. It'll be very sad if I just hope like if if she didn't do it, she'll take she'll take responsibility I hope a writer just doesn't have to take the fall for that would suck Well, the same writer would have to take the fall for the tv show And the three or four jokes that she said she's putting her movies And because this is not just a stand-up anymore. This is her stand-up This is her sketch show

And this is also movies stand-up sketch and a movie I mean what the fuck What the fuck I mean in half of it looks like a setup Like half of it to me is like wait a second Maybe somebody went out and told me to do this. It looks like a fucking setup The other half of me is did america get taken. I mean, well, here's a here's what I saw Her she had a really good first special. I really liked it and the thing that really

Bums me out about specials is when comedians do The same things on successive specials and on her second one. It was a lot of the same stuff So maybe she was too busy or and she just started doing stuff like like it really bummed me out I was really excited for her second special and she did a lot of the same material Well, we discussed the second special Look what happened in our situation. We went We taped the cd in fucking august The cd in my world. I thought was

You know the hard work I had put in, you know, it was also a shortest set, you know Joel who's a great technician taped it the way stand-up is supposed to be taped, which we had sound great And he also cleaned it up and made different things loud and he Distincted different punch lines, which he really knows how to sell an album My the the album we just released in november is a good album, but it's a good It's smoking mirrors like he made it seem because he knows how to sell a professional mixer. He's a professional mixer. So um When we shot the special

In september I looked at that and the first time I looked at it here when I saw the purple sweater I didn't like it already like there was just so many little things And yes, li we could have sold it for five dollars and made money and that's what I was gonna say You know what man? I'd rather not put it out there. Then it didn't happen. He's stolen jokes Had no stolen jokes at all. Of course not, but I had certain jokes that I wouldn't want to say anymore For the reason you said there were old jokes. I said I made years ago. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking I wanted the special and the cd to be completely different This is why I did it that way. I didn't want some people sell you a cd and a special and it's the same performance

You know, I wanted to give you something different, right? Well, there's there's a difference between The same performance because I've seen that like at the dvd cd combo That's cool But I'm talking about like if like it's either you or the priest and what you taped in august Were the same material like that's what bums me out But I see what I see we're saying that you want to provide a lot of material for the woman taste them There's a joke. I said it's either you or the priest that I love Okay, that when I said the joke

It was too early for me to say let me tell you guys how fucking crazy my world is I like the joke and for some reason against every fucking belief I had I said the joke And the joke worked to the T But when I listened to that album That joke I didn't develop it right that joke still had six more months Before I could really drop it on the motherfucker. I just shot it out of the cannon too heavy I've been working that joke on the road lately, but I will never put it on another cd

I'm just trying to work it to get me somewhere Where I want to go and on the road is completely different And you know what on this on an album if you do it, but you add something to it. Yeah, she had And I I can't remember right. I haven't seen it for a while But she had successive bits and actually the one who kills me even more than her jon canette I loved his first special or whatever I say nae nae was and then for like two two more specials He was doing the same material and it broke my heart. So why? Why does that bother a guy like you the two the same material to the fucking they do in the music industry

Right that chick did it sarah mclaughlin did yeah, the same songs on a couple of the alms or something like that Why does it bother you so much in comedy? I mean, I would never do it. Listen, if it was up to me, I would never release dick I would just have somebody with a tape recorder tape and say joey. I taped your set tonight was great do whatever the fuck you want with it But the only avenue I have and the only way to gauge numbers For me to get other projects like a netflix project or something like that is to show them The cd the the releases on the internet which you guys as my family have supported me to the end of no time Well, the reason the answer to your question is is because when I was first getting into comedy There wasn't a netflix specials

I went out and bought every special and I was excited like that's what it was I was excited the way you were for final. I was excited for for specials I would go out and get them. I'm not I'm not gonna tell you I was there the day they were released But when I found somebody or heard somebody I would get them And If I like somebody I would look forward to their new oh and if I like was seeing their thing I bit oh The new specials out like you were asking me before what my entertainment budget was my music budget

Every year zero. I spent I don't buy a single song. I don't give a shit Back then I was buying two three dvds a week. I have 600 dvds at home right here in the apartment now Yeah, and I got another hundred to give you. Yeah, I have to have zero value to I've stopped by well, yeah I've stopped buying this edition to suck my dick revamp copies added scenes those things are worth a dollar fifty all day long At any fucking yard sale you're fucked and I know I know what I fucked up

I got so many of them. I was tired of moving them. So I bought like a dj disc book and threw away the boxes So now I'm gonna have to lug this thing around with me for the rest of my life But it's uh Yeah, I don't have but I haven't bought stuff in years So that's what used to piss me like I have tons of specials on dvds in my collection and like That's it would pit. That's why it would piss me off. So maybe I don't know if you Imagine you had you're busy enough as it is if you had a tv show

You could you see a place where no you're starting to talk to me talk to you Where you're at as a 28 year old Where you're at as a 35 year old or where you're at as a 44 year old and where you're at as a 52 year old It's four different places in your life Okay It's four different levels of excitement You know, it's like a woman when she's 24. She has a dream She has a dream to meet this prince

Who is rich and she's gonna have nine kids and a butler and she's gonna have a range role And she'd go to yoga with her fucking gentile friends Then you know what she gets fucked a couple times She gets engaged and the guy cheats on her She gets you know, but by the time she's fucking 33. She's gonna be a different woman Then you know, what's gonna happen? She's gonna move in with a guy Something she never dreamt of doing when she was 25 years old She always wanted to be married when she dreamt him with a man

What a person will do at 32 and 28 is two different things So when I come to you You know how hard this job is you know how hard What do you think this doesn't happen in the construction business? You don't think that one day two gemos like you and I get together And you're good with painting and i'm good with electrical and whatever And also my friend here, he knows his father owns a fucking concrete company So after about two years of us doing a little work together that that that we crackin jokes

One day us three fucking morons decide to put a bit another fucking building Okay, and i'm being always to us we miss 30 percent of this fucking bid And also when we get awarded this bid and we miss 30 percent that means we're all working for broke In the 60 percent Level of this building we're all gonna be miserable the work's gonna be shoddy. It's gonna be shit. You know what happened We took on something we couldn't handle We didn't cut apart and it's the law diminishing returns

Okay, we were making money when we were doing our little thing years ago I had a friend who had an answering machine. I swear to god He had an answering machine in his living room And he would get up at 3 30 in the morning and we would press the answering machine and we'd go yo brunos Give me three pounds of shrimp and 10 pounds of calamari Yo, it's iggy over here at the trout area Give me fit and this guy got in his car Went to the farm with that market in the village whatever the fuck it was the seaport fish market

Whatever the fuck the mafia plays and he'd buy all this shit at wholesale and with the truck He would drop it off and by 12 o'clock he was home You know, he was making a month in 1997 I don't think I want to know 25,000 a month guys He was home by 12 o'clock every fucking day 25,000 a month a record, but guess what he did He went partners with somebody He bought a bunch of fish

He put it in a freezer and new york had the blackout for nine days He lost all his investment two hundred thousand dollars He was doing great. Wasn't he with the fucking 25,000 a month to 30 g's a month delivering fish pick it up and deliver it Chucking a few clams Taking a bag of clams and putting them into 12 lots and 144 lots whatever they call it I love you joey. I think I'd go do that right now. So I'm calling me until you make 25 grand a month It was big fish. I think you do it right now, but it was his own business. You understand me. So it's your own fucking business

It's your own his specialty was calamar and he had these restaurants that would buy 50 pounds of it a day That was his biggest moneymaker that squid already cut. He knew where to get he had the connection He's the one that told me about sushi places only buying from Japanese fucking Things the point I'm trying to make here is that You could make dough We'll be talking about him anyway. I don't even know what the fuck we're talking about. I'm so high You can make dough the guy delivering fish. No, we're talking about the guy fucking delivering fish But what was the point Lee that's some kind of fucking he went too high

He would do too much. Well, it was the law diminishing returns same thing with Amy Schumer maybe You know man You live in some of these basement You sleep with weird people you hang out with weird people you do that for a while you get a little fucking desperate And all of a sudden life moves a little faster than what you fucking anticipated And somebody comes to you and says are you ready for a tv show? and you say yes

And now you gotta write you gotta start writing sketches and you've never written a sketch before you've written stand up fucking comedy I don't know what happens to you All of a sudden at the end they tell you they're gonna give you 25 000 dollars An episode of a show you're gonna shoot and you're gonna shoot 10 shows Which means you're gonna go out every weekend and make millions of dollars selling tickets because comedy central is gonna highlight you What would that make you do? But I think it's the type of person who like like you said every we didn't put out the special we didn't that wasn't good She put it out

What special wasn't good the one that we just shot and then the her say no no No, but i'm talking about with her right just shot an hbo one that people are criticizing. I haven't seen that one yet What's the matter the screen went down no we're good Okay, no no no what i'm trying to tell you is here that maybe things move fast for a person And it makes them do something That they wouldn't normally fucking do I mean, it's just too many people raising their hand here. I'm not here accusing nobody I'm not here accusing nobody. I'm not sticking up for nobody. I'm just

Trying to find out why somebody would take sketches Somebody would take stand-up material And somebody would take material and put in a fucking movie that had been discussed before The magician with the magic things coming out of her pussy and all that shit and the flowers You know, so that's all i'm trying to fucking say i've done some creepy fucking things You know But i always had a little bit of respect for this thing and i learned right at the age of 45 or something That you have to say no

Right the same way people say no when you're looking for things sometimes You really have to look at a situation and go, you know what? I can't cover the spread on that And you'll be so much fucking happier sometimes and you do that, you know Sometimes you're like, you know what? I have my hands full Years ago these people contacted me to do this movie and money and this and that But they wanted to put it right in the middle of this fucking surgery I was having and all this other stuff and i remember looking at that money going man That would be a great project, but i gotta get in i know how these movies shoot

I gotta get in and out of this fucking car a thousand times and i'm gonna go in and end up doing surgery again You know what? I turned the fucking movie down The movie recently got released and went straight to video You know where it did good Nowhere So what the fuck that i missed they wanted me to sell my soul But how do you how do you when you're so like when you were more desperate for the money? How do you look at it objectively and be like, okay, this isn't worth it even though i could fucking use the money

You gotta have a good team And let me tell you something. There's no really good team situation has been going on where people are doing live podcasts You and i did them three fucking years ago And we did well with them All we have to do is announce them at the ice house and we sell 100 tickets like it's overnight Yeah, now you and i know

That i it would be a great thing, but The problem that was doing was we weren't doing the show correctly not in my eyes There was something missing there was always an element missing from the show Yeah, and we got high and we giggled and we had fun And they were very spontaneous and i did stand up in the beginning And it was something different. I always thought about taking it on the road But i always thought that if i really took it on the road and beat it up It would expose a different element that i didn't want to have i didn't want to put out there

But these agents now are pushing these podcasts for people to go on the road They're not really thinking of the consequences They're also making The podcast into places where it's very impersonal I loved the whitney coming special I watched it again last night The only knock i have about it. It's a little bit too big the place where she taped The venue itself the laughter sounded far away

And not very cohesive. I laughed i'm not saying the the special wasn't funny I'm saying that the special seemed like it was in a bigger place now Again like i told you when you're talking to somebody and you're going over numbers And you're going listen. I wanted it to be a smaller place. Yeah, but you're only going to make 9 000 at this place Why don't we go for this place that's making 30 000? They're always pushing it a little little bit They're always pushing it a little little bit and you have to know But sometimes you get two people cornering you and saying i think it's a good deal

And there you go There you go With my special when i watch it with you it was like ronda rousey on her hands and knees that first time It was like ronda rousey on her hands and knees not even caring about that she got Kicked or how she got kicked all she was wondering about were all the things she had done wrong When you find yourself in this position all of a sudden you go holy shit That's what i fucking did wrong and in my situation i didn't get a production guy Somebody to come to me and go you can't wear a purple shirt

You know i didn't really look at the curtains i took the curtains for granted Okay, my material was fucking horrific and if i would have planned ahead i would have had somebody do 40 minutes so all i had i really had to do was 50 minutes maybe 46 minutes And i could speed up the material it was very slow paced But i didn't see that on friday night and on friday it was even more slow paced than it was on saturday I saw all these things right from the jump what my appearance was on that fucking thing was horrific If i would have paid five hundred dollars for the production designer I would have somebody would have said hey, man, you can't wear that purple fucking shirt

It looks sloppy on you There were just little things that i realized when i saw it and you know what there were nobodies for Because this was like the documentary we all went into this with our eyes fucking closed No, but we have to take we have i have to take responsibility No, you know, no, you know i'm telling you you don't because I knew better you've been doing this for five years around me You've been watching stand up for ten so i respect your opinion But where i went wrong was i didn't overview the fucking whole thing right and i didn't tell this guy to do

I thought i told john what to do john didn't do it, but the people it wasn't john It was the people didn't do it We they put us in a bunch of pool of fucking strangers Yeah, so there were so many fucking things that wire people still saying i'm still getting emails on gmail Please release it. We live it's not about fucking releasing it I would you know, it's like you don't want to see your uncle fucking shot in the head. Do you? Nobody wants to find their uncle shot in the fucking head. So why would you want to see something? Why would i let it out now? You'll do a better one this year the no i know

I'm gunning for september in a fucking nice location something cozy where we could smoke fucking joints I want it to be very 2016 very avant-garde. We fucking evolved We need a stand-up special that we need to evolve even hbo. I love their specials. I grew up on hbo specials It's your fucking dream if you talk to a comedian and he tells you he doesn't want an hbo special He's full of shit. That's your fucking. That's it. That's the fucking pierre de la resistance That's that's when you come on carton a kenya kanya west his face Getting an hbo special for a comedian is like a fucking regular guy Shooting a load and kinkard dashing and going here kanya. Here's the leftovers sniff it kaksaka

That's what it's like. That's what the prestige of an hbo special is like But not anymore. It doesn't feel like no there's not a night anymore I mean they put the bumper and I love Whitney. I love that special I loved everything about it. The only thing I didn't dig was I thought the place was a little bit too fucking big She had every right to release it. I would have fucking released it I'm not gonna go to war with hbo. They give you three or four shots to do those, you know Really? Yeah, hbo gives you two or three or four shots to do that shit

So they give you a pick of one. They take one mix it with three They take four mix it with five. They do shit like that So you don't fucking lose Let me do some shout-outs so we get the fuck out of here Louis the Kid Matt Baltazar and Cancun Shane Spellman water boxer Biggie B

Andrew Sorvelle and ice-key Brennan Don't forget charlotte. I'll be over there with you kaksuckers this weekend. I'm leaving this afternoon helium St. Louis next weekend and uncle Joey's 53rd birthday party in vegas friday night Leo be there giving foot rubs to chubby chicks That's his favorite thing. He always goes to vegas. He looks for chicks with chubby feet and shit And uh, he does this thing That's one thing man, what I said fuck. Yeah, I'm feeling good. We got the new studio

I'm sorry that the fucking podcast is still which we just got into the studio We're still feeling out the groan pains The problem was we were putting music on the beginning But we had to cut it off for youtube I don't want to waste your fucking time and then people had to say that They had to reload if you want me to fucking play the music I mean, too, I love music in the beginning, but if I got a fucking cut it, what's the goddamn point? Right. I love music. You guys know I got a fucking music show brewing kaksuckers. I got something. I love all these albums

I went down to a meb and walked around And I looked at people And I looked at posters You know people who were down there buying eagle albums. Oh my god, they must have sold Two fucking million thousand, you know, it's great to die in this country Everything happens when you fucking die. That's when you punched a ticket Michael Jackson dies and all of a sudden he's out of debt People jumping up and down three kids are on tv. It took Michael Jackson to fucking die You know and I got on to a meb the other day. I parked across the street

There's always I love that place if you're a move if you're a it's a little on the commercial side for me because When I travel around to these different towns, I always go walk into a mom pot one That I really like and I just like the vibe in there and I like and you pay a little extra But you don't give a fuck because there's no lines. You actually smell the albums You know, you go to a meb, but you smell piss and This fucking, you know, it's right out there. It's across from a jack in the fucking box Yeah, but I mean, I love places like that. It's it's so You went to the you bought some new stuff

But you they have a whole section of you. I went on the fucking I went on I went Listened first off. That's a four hour project. I know It's a holiday project. I went through one rack for 45 minutes. No glasses on it. You know what that's like in my world Do you have any idea what it's like in my world to go through a rack of some without glasses? Like as I was running across the street on sunset with my bum knee And I got to the opposite side. I realized fuck. I didn't bring my fucking glasses. I gotta take my chances I forgot five fucking albums. There was five albums. I forgot to get completely because I couldn't see them But I was surprised on this shit. They didn't have

Like what they didn't have animals They didn't have a couple of albums that I was looking for that specifically what they didn't have the b52's first album They didn't have the one almond brothers album from the film more east that I like They didn't have a lot of things. I'll tell you what they have a great selection of spanish shit Remember they got two floors of fucking music in there But when I I like to do that show and I like to fucking go to different cities I like to show the best one the best one for years for me was one in dallas and addison tex It was next to the chucking jive. It was there was a used it

It's still there. There's a little fucking restaurant And addison tex is called the chucking jive and you go and then get like a gum ball and shit like that Well four or five doors down From like 90 something to maybe a couple years ago. I heard it closed down lisa. I had oh my god Oh my fucking god. I would go in there for hours and dig out And just look through everything Yeah, it's like a museum you go there as a museum You go there when you're my age, maybe you had a brother who had albums and you inherited them

You know, there was a lot of people who inherited their brothers albums like the little chick like the little guy in uh In almost famous. She left her brother her albums You know, there was a whole generation of people who are still very fortunate to go through their mom's albums Or maybe their brother's albums and just see what they were listening to and what that means That time period was so when I go to an album store and I'm going through those albums I'm thinking as shit I'm thinking about the first time I touched that album that thing on youtube with jimmy fucking page Have we played it? I don't know

What is it about and how He talks about stay away to heaven and he talks about but that there's one point of it That he's rubbing the album cover and it really fucking takes you to a different level because It's he's he's rubbing it. He's thinking About what he was doing at that time in his fucking life Like the album cover Which I search no no no the album cover that I immediately got the other day

There's an album cover that I got the other day I bought this album You know between me and you guys I bought this album in one way or another 10 times already, but this album is such a fucking Houses of the holy by led zeppelin is The album That really Kicked it up to the next level for me It kicked it up so hard for the next level that I didn't like no quarter

I grew up like in the fifth grade not liking no quarter. I would skip over and put the ocean on Okay, tell me that no quarter Is that the third song on the first side on here and the ocean is after it? Tell me that without even looking at it Is it inside? Is it outside? What the fuck? Anyway, take that rapper off because it's just gonna fucking break. We'll keep it That's how I remember this album, but that album I would keep it like a

I didn't want my mom to see this out Look at it's like the fucking people. It's like the kids from the road warrior the first one Okay, so side one is dancing days or something the song remains the same. No the other side How's the whole inside one? All right side two Dancing days, okay Dear maker, okay. Daya making a diameter then no quarter. I would skip over to the ocean I'm not fucking with you motherfuckers

This album grabbed me Like nothing else has ever grabbed me. I was listening to spanish music I was listening to fucking, you know black music I was listening to a little bit of rock music But this album I'll tell you how fucked up it got me. It made me smoke reefer That was your first time this is the fucking album that made me fucking say whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa It's time. I gotta take this up to the next fucking level This was the fucking album and when I see this album cover

This album covers my childhood like I told you the inside of this I used to look at this every fucking daily like just open it up And look at this and go wow someday that's gonna be fucking me up there Holding some dead cadaver to the fucking gods You know whatever the fuck it was this album was just my life I don't know why when I saw this the other day. I don't want this album But I bought it just for the fucking cover Because I don't know how many fucking mornings I listened to this while I was doing homework

Or I listened to this while I was stretching to go play basketball better yet in those days I was such a basketball fanatic that I would sit my ass against a wall And just sit like this like those people and just work on my thigh muscles And I would listen to side fucking the other side With uh, the song is the same and over the hills and far away and the the one song Oh dog, I grew up on this motherfucker You can't calm me when it comes to this shit. So why don't you want it? No, I want it

I wouldn't have bought it if I didn't want it, but it wasn't what I went down there to get That's what I'm trying to say. I'm very sorry when I went down there I wasn't thinking the houses of the holy, but when I saw the cover It was so fucking strong. I just grabbed it It meant that much to that room that little fucking room I had when my mom died That was one of the first albums that you saw Those places are intimidating because there's a lot of people like you who It really means a lot and like they go through and they're really fast like that

Like they like zoom through the stacks and see if there's anything they don't have You can't replace that album that you had in that basement. There's no fucking replacing it You know when I lived with the runnies from April of 81 To October of 82 one of our favorite things to do We go to a path mark in the daytime

Now path mark added a fucking record store to the thing like a record department. It was across from the greeting cards Big fucking mistake. Okay So we went down there one night and figured out that after 10 o'clock a there was no security and b There was a gate But you could stick your hand in that gate And take the album off the top And walk out of the store

It was right next to the magazines You're fucking dying. You're looking at me going joey. What the fuck? I'm talking about Senior year in high school. I dropped out and I would load trucks And there was nights I worked till one o'clock and I would get home and mike was just getting home from fucking doing blowing shit And we look on what was coming on on hbo and let's pretend It was the raging bull hollywood nights And there was something else that came on at that time the thief with james con that was all running on hbo And in those days they ran the same shit every fucking night just in a different order

Okay, and then at five they put like tails from the dark side or whatever the fuck And I still remember me and him getting in the car. First of all, I still remember me and him Walking but after a while we figured it out that one of us had to go down there in the daytime And go through the record department and take every album that they were looking at and put it back By the stack of magazines So you would get an album look at it show it to your friend He would get an album and you just walk and you place with charu But what you were doing was loading that bin

You were loading that bin with the albums that you wanted So you put fucking 10 of them in there And then you waited till they closed path mark on tully avenue And you walked back down there and fucking 11 o'clock at night. You bought some groceries But before you left you took those fucking albums out of the bin And you put them in the line with you and you put them on the floor You paid for your groceries and they gave you a bag You took the bag you picked up the albums and you put them outside the bag and you'd walk outside of fucking path mark

You know how many albums I had from fucking path mark with no exaggeration Close to 75 80 fucking albums And I had it in one of those construction boxes that somebody had given me that's made special For people who liked albums. It was like a long milk crate. That's what it was And I had three quarters of that motherfucker filled up These are all albums I picked up with all that drug money that stupid fucking money stealing chains and all that shit Over the years I would always go to burglar line and buy two or three albums In fact after a while I took the album covers that I like how bent the leather and all that shit

And I hung them up in the walls in the ceiling So when you came in the room downstairs, all you would see were album covers of our favorite album, you know David Bowie, whatever the fuck the album was and fleetwood mac We had put it all around the room. That's how much of an album guy I was Do you have like an emotional connection to those specific? Albums like what if someone came in and was like, I would give you 100 bucks to smash this album But give you an exact copy of it like would you let them do that or no?

I don't give a fuck what you do with that I didn't have it's the dream that you know, there's certain albums Led Zeppelin to Jesus fucking christ Jesus christ, I still remember hanging out with ray cannella doing create thc crystal fucking You know fucking playing led zeppelin too. I still remember houses of the holy The b 52's that album I still remember it like if it was yesterday people playing it constantly Constantly at parties when I was growing up. I'm eating fucking kwayloons dancing on one leg shit like that I mean, it was just a fucking horror show

How many albums I went through and how many of those goodbye yellow brick road? I loved that album. I used to look at the album and stare at it for fucking hours like a like a dummy Sure, they have tons of connections to my life That's crazy. I don't know what the fuck i'm talking about. Why'd you make me eat that chocolate? I'm all fucked up now. I didn't make you do nothing. You made me Do all this. All right, give me the ads here. Give me the sheet here. Let's get the fuck out of here Get this party started dog. I gotta tell you something I was cooking already but this fucking eureka vapor put me over the top

This one here this little electronic one. This gives you a nice big hit straight to the goat lee Oh, yeah And they're more solid than they were that this is more you could see that you're gonna smoke the whole thing A lot of the oil sit on the bottom and this is a sativa here. This is how fucking deep the eureka goes now What's for dinner lee, I I could tell you're already thinking about what you're gonna eat tonight. You got some tortellini I had that last morning blue. So what you're not gonna eat you've been eating chicken You've been eating chicken fucking tortellini since I met you

And tell them tell them don't you put margin on it? Yeah, you do. I believe it's not butter spray. What's that? I believe it's I can't believe it's not butter spray Wait, wait, you're not gonna believe that wort on your asshole. What that is Talk sucker. Stop spraying that shit on the food. Get some nice butter low salt whipped What am I gonna do with you? Eating that tortellini Look at the shape here. How you gonna go home? You got your little sugar night t-shirt on tonight. You visiting mama tonight? No Thank god. What do you got on the books tonight?

The rest of the night nothing nothing good. That's good that way anyway On it still always making it work for me man always I'm starting to fly again. You know me the shroom tech You don't know who you're sitting next and now they got this new disease Kiva people scratching the next to young planes babies are getting fucked up. What's the new disease they got? Ebola. No, that's the old fucking disease. They got a new one. You're fucked. Look at the shape here. What I'm saying is that uh

Why you gonna need to rock it? I don't know Anyway shroom tech, I don't know if it works in the bowler. I'm just cracking fucking jokes here Shroom tech sport shroom tech immune if you're flying the immune is great Shroom tech sport tremendous if you want that extra cardiovascular little fucking Edge towards the end the mushrooms are tremendous for you. I live off the hemp protein powder I've lost weight with that powder. I think it's more uh, 32 grams of protein is a lot better than eight and 62 grams of protein That's what your body can absorb right meal. That's what your body can absorb So I'm always a hemp protein guy, but why listen to me. I'm a fat fuck

Go to honet.com right now and press in church and get 10 off your first order delivered right to your door If you want to deliver to your door on a monthly Go, it's uh on it stay on it stay on it and they deliver that to your door and you got an extra 10 now there's something that I talked about the other night that guys I think this is a great idea you know It's the sound of a package being delivered a friend's coming over for dinner But it's also the sound of someone playing to rob your blind Over 90 percent of home breakings that happened during the day

Burgers almost always start by ringing your doorbell to see if someone's home Before pillaging your possessions with the ring video doorbell You can see and talk to anyone at your door from anywhere in the world using the smartphone Rings advanced motion detection alerts you even if someone doesn't ring the doorbell It's like the caller ID for your home with ring video doorbell You can talk to delivery people and keep an eye on your package Even if someone tries to mess with it, you'll get an instant alert and the hd video the whole thing going down It's like having a neighbor keep an eye on your home 24 seven without the judgment

You know what man? I was a thief. I know I used to go to doors all the time and ring them This you can't get even to plan b because they got you on tape So you're done unless you go to the door or hood it up like ices Here's the thing install on the ring video doorbell Takes minutes and it works either your current wiring or built-in rechargeable battery You put your mind at ease and protect your home with a video doorbell time magazine And usa today name one of the top 10 gadgets My listeners get free expedited FedEx shipping when you go to ring.com slash church. That's ring.com

Slash church with the ring video doorbell. You're always home Nobody can rob your house that they try they even has motion detectors lead. It's got everything You connected to this you connected to that But listen do me a favor go to ring.com right now and look at the great Look at the great things that it does But if you like it press and ring.com church now and you get free expedited FedEx shipping All right, that's it. That's the show guys. I don't know what to tell you The patois wasn't the musing what I wasn't here today, but we're just getting warmed up in the studio. You know what I'm saying, Lee

We'll get there. I thought we I thought rake. No is a good guy rake. No is a tremendous guy I wouldn't have had him on if uh, I didn't think he was a fucking good guy. What's the matter with you? anyway This weekend the charlotte comedy zone Next weekend helium st. Louis and then uncle joey's birthday at the south point casino in vegas February 19th and 20th. I know my man bobby sharon and crystal gonna be there really sure You're coming and uh, what's my girl's coming? What's ester coups open up for me? And uh, I'm gonna have gave you 10 minutes and I'm gonna have

What's your other boys coming my main man larry? Oh, DJ fucking larry's coming He's the king of vegas. All right. I love you guys. Thank you. Thanks again for ring Thanks again to honor.com. Thank you to eureka Vapor pen if you see them out in colorado, seattle Whatever support eureka pens. We're gonna start talking more about them and the effects and uh The clean vape because there's a lot of shitty shit going on out there. I love you guys. Have a great weekend. Stay black This show was brought to you by ring.com

Go to ring.com slash church to get free expedited fedex shipping On the brand new video doorbell that goes straight to your phone It's ring.com slash church and go to honor.com slash church to get 10% off all the great optimization