Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #355 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt with Mike Pyle

Episode Date: February 11, 2016

Mike Pyle, UFC Welterweight who received a "Fight Of The Night" bonus for his victory of Sean Spencer at Fight Night Hendricks V Thompson, calls in to Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt.   This podcast is brought to you by: Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout. Recorded live on 02/10/2016.


This show is brought to you by onnet.com Go to onnet.com and use codeword church to get 10% off all the great optimization products like alpha brain new mood and shumtech immune and shumtech sport What's up cocksuckers? Joey Diaz and my main man Lisa at February 10th a beautiful fucking day to be alive Have you been watching this? Oh Jay Simpson thing? I haven't I'm saving it for just watch all at once because I've heard it's amazing What are you fucking saving? What are you saving money here? No, just saving it to watch the whole whole thing What are you doing? It's on TV. What do you do? You sit there like I'm a local. Yeah, I don't have cable So I watch everything later. You don't have time to be just watch it by the episode, right?

And you could think about it and watch it a couple times and digest because I had to watch it a couple fucking times Did you know anything about this? And that's why I'm so that and that's why I want to watch it all at once because it's so I Know about it after the fact like the only time ever I've ever seen OJ He was in an episode of jail. Like, you know the cops show that they kind of shoots in jail He showed up there once in Vegas, but I didn't know anything about him in football. I wasn't really around for the trial And so it's just I don't have any of that Background not all I know of OJ is hearing about the trial, you know OJ was a

Fucking great athlete in the late 70s You know 80s Just a Monday nights. I just I don't remember no distinctive things Okay, I just remember he played for the bills and when he touched the ball people went crazy And he was thin and he ran fucking beautifully and you know, I don't remember them winning a Super Bowl with him or anything So in my mind He never stood out that much over the years. I saw him in movies. Okay, like everybody else, you know I saw him in movies and TV shows and then one day I'm reading something

And it said that OJ had been charged or something That his wife was claiming he hit him and you know, one of those things that you look at and just go, okay Whatever got nothing to do with me That's just interesting and then when I looked at the wife, to be honest, I didn't even look at the wife I didn't even know what she looked like nothing. I just moved on with my life Well, what was it? What was it like back then because now you hear it's all in the news every few months. There's some Star either it's sports or like that hitting their wife that really Gave everybody awareness like that changed the game. Okay, like that changed the game you and Paula got into an argument, right?

Okay, Paula throws a glass at you because she's mad you Grab a wrist or something like this up. Yeah, her wrist from stopping Let's say she attacks you and you stop her wrist. Her wrist is red The neighbor calls the cops cops come to your door They talk to you is then they separate you In those days if Paula didn't look Visibly beaten

They asked if it's okay if Lee stayed was she scared of you and the woman said no he could stay that's it cops will leave Now if you and Paula get into the argument and the cops come nine of the ten Lee you're going to fucking jail Just just because of the OJ thing. That's how much awareness It gave to the country just to stop it like that's it like whether he touched her wrist tapped her hand bumped into bumped her chest against her and Told that he loved her It's not going any further any contact. It's over any contact. It's over. Okay

now It's I had never I had seen domestic violence as a kid not in my home Next door for about a year a year and for a long time. I've been thinking about it like I thought about it like What happened and you know, I have a good memory about things. This is just blacked out. I Saw her I heard the yelling. I heard the dishes shit like that and Then one night I had about two in the morning. I just saw something she pounded on my door and she was covered from head to toe

and oh my God and I Remember my mom making a remark the next day, you know Sometimes when I talk to you I think of my mom and me having a conversation Because my mom would tell me things and I tell her why you The big weird word in those days wasn't positive like now the big word is why he's saying something negative It was just like why would you say something like that people would confront you? You know and The next morning like she came over we kept her in there my mom changed the I Don't really remember what happened after that must have been but I remember the next morning

she went right back next door and He had hit her with something and I mean it was just terrible. There was blood everywhere, you know, she refused to get stitches I don't remember but what I do remember is saying To my mom like what happened and she said it really doesn't matter cuz she went back to him And she's gonna go get hit one more time And I go why would you say something like that? She said we're gonna just stupid from time to time

Then my own mom saying this to me and I never thought about it again Lee Never again. It had nothing to do with me nothing to fucking do with me and I get divorced in 91 I get separated in 91 and It was an amicable separation no big fucking deal, you know People break up all the time, you know, and at this time I was unhappy. I didn't know the center I we spoke about my unhappiness that I was going to walking meditation

I didn't know what the stem of the unhappiness was once she disappeared and I got into stand up I was very happy the only sadness was that child That you didn't learn in her life. Yeah, no, but now I knew I didn't know I wasn't I was very naive I believed everything my ex-wife said to me You're gonna see you're gonna be a part of her life and that was just words to get her out She thought about it, you know, if you think back on hindsight, but that's not what this is about what this is about was that We went from an amicable relationship to a shitty relationship and throw the addiction on them may not working All the shit I was doing I fell apart and I went back to

New York in December of January of 93 With the thought that I would give that bad taste a separation some air Now, did you would you sad leaving your daughter? Yeah? Yeah? I knew I was leaving her but I knew that she was in good hands and I knew that I wasn't getting nowhere and I Knew so many fucking things and I had this bad feeling and I was heartbroken trust me I'm telling you I'm just saying it very nonchalantly, but that whole time in New York I was heartbroken. It was the catalyst in my addiction like it was really breaking my heart at night on top of many other things No, what look why couldn't you just stay in there? I'm not sure the city or in Denver where I was in Boulder

You're in Boulder and just not go and be around her just still your first baseball, but like why do you have to go to New York? It was It was the end of one two three year run You know that whole thing I'm be getting in trouble was to get money to go back to New York. I Was trying to get back to New York. I Don't know. I don't fucking know and now it's 91 and I go back to New York. I see it for 10 days It's not the New York I left. I regroup with my dad. I go back to California Colorado we separate and

You know three months is great and also in January of 93 It just goes somewhere completely different. She's got a boyfriend. She's living with the guy the baby's living in there It's just a horror show. Is it eating me alive? No, what's eating me alive is that my child is in that house I don't know who these people are. I was raised a different way. I was raised if your child's gonna move into my house I'm gonna come talk to you and say listen. He's gonna live with me when there's not gonna be a problem here If let's say that happened and I know it's easy to look back on it If he had come over and just said hey, my name's so-and-so Your daughter's gonna be living with me. Would it have what could your entire life be different?

Yeah, I would have been pissed off for three days four days, but then I would have gotten over it and I would understood it It's the way they want about it. So this went on For a year until so now it's January 92 and this went on till January of 93 I mean we were almost at blows by this time. We were always in court. We're both broke from the thing I go to New York. I go to New York to for nine fucking months Okay, I stay in New York for nine fucking months. I'm doing comedy. I'm building up my bankroll a little bit I was a little light on cash. All my credit cards have been spent. I was around my friends You know when you're when you're feeling bad about yourself and things aren't going your way just go home

Go home walk those fucking streets. You walk to grammar school Walk the streets where you learned about life and you'll get some egging back to you I was getting some egging back to me and I was breaking down where my life was You know, I was breaking it down and going home at night making notes and I wasn't doing a mom to stand up I wanted to I was doing a lot more blow than I was doing stand up But at the end of all that something made me go home and with a focus I was going to do stand-up comedy and commit and be a dad to this little girl Now are you in contact with the ex-wife at all during those nine months? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sending money

I'm sending shit towel. Whatever. I'm walking down 42nd Street once a week. You know, you're walking down boys. You're fine toys. Oh, yeah So I would send shit and then she wouldn't get it or there was always drama, but by this time I didn't know I hadn't know what I was walking into so I go back now 93 I get into comedy and Where I wore Immediately and it's getting worse and worse and worse and one thing leads to another and all of a sudden one day I

Slept all my friends out when I wake up one day And I read this article about OJ's wife getting killed now. You got to remember she got killed late at night So the news in the morning papers was very light It was very light the next day All that was said at that point was that OJ's wife had been killed And OJ was on a plane to Chicago for Papa boss. So that gave you That gave you it threw you off a little bit Yeah, because that was the initial report that he was in Chicago why he got why she got killed

so Now right away in my heart, I knew he killed like as soon as I read the article after I had read that art Are the article a year later? Saying that he had beater or the cops came or I don't remember what it was and I don't want to say that he got arrested I don't know what had happened. I made an assumption in my head just from what things I knew and what I grew up around You know I'm saying it just immediately. Oh, he killed her. He killed him so usually Lee like I'm a law buff and I'm a fan of

Different cases if somebody gets arrested and there's some way I could get Documents, I'll read up and read up on the trial just to see what motions they file Just to see little things just to see if they're doing their job because I want to learn maybe I want to learn something Wow He filed a motion for to move transfer this to a different county because of prejudice just the different things There's so many fucking thousands of motions. You could file. So for some reason, I just like this case But the reason why I like this case wasn't because I like this case. It was because deep down inside man. I Wanted to kill my fucking wife Lee. I

Mean I was just growing this anger about it and I was just getting angrier and Angrier so while this is going on It's fueling my fucking a little undertone. I have of going up to them, you know by by June of 94 Excuse me her and I had been through a couple things one thing that I thought about last night was they hit me with a two by four and The other guy came and I hit the other guy back and they hit Hercules and there was just a series of events that I got to tell you something

They use my style of torturing people. They were always laying something on me once a week I was always getting something laid on me once a week Like once a week, I was getting a call with bad fucking news that wears on you Lee that wears on what kind of bad news My god, I'm broke You know like she would call me and go I got a call from American Express you wrote them $10,000 You better pay that fucking thing off because my name is on it and I go fuck you by this time I was just spiting all I was just doing shit Just a spider

Thank God you guys got divorced like the other thing but no together But when we were together it wasn't like that. This is what I'm saying to you It was three months after the divorce is that part of the mind fuck that like you had a great time Is with this late girl woman and then she's like three months later. She's just fucking you I didn't know what was going on. What really happened was this she had moved in with the guy at this point and One that I was getting guests Like mid-January towards the end of January and she pulled up in his car She's like you motherfucker. You're having a good time lately. You're dating a 20-year-old girl a 21-year-old girl

You know We should try to talk this out And it was weird because she goes I'll be at your house tomorrow one o'clock To get her stuff and to get herself to talk to me about she had already moved in with the guy She had already taken everything out of my house. We were in the process of selling the condo That I had bought when I was in the halfway house. That's where the process of doing so here We are trying to sell the condo and fucking Talking to an attorney, but I don't want to get off track. Okay. The main thing was that while all this OJ thing

You're gonna watch this Well, all these little stories were getting released. I was plotting to fucking ice her like I didn't know how like it was fueling my aid So when I watched this show now, I tape it like a seven and then later on at night. I watch it They're only up to arresting him. I mean, you know, I'm missing nothing right now Still, you know, I don't give a fuck if it's a spoiler alert. You gotta watch How many years old is the case that's on a spoiler alert? But they're finding out they're they're releasing a lot of things That they didn't release during the case

You know, this is a very interesting case because this case was won on the Presumption that LAPD fucked up Which they fucked up Basic fucked up, you know, and then the prosecution The defense also proved that not only were they fucked up, but they were racist I I don't know how that gets you out of fucking killing somebody. That's fucking crazy How how like that's a defense

Especially when your glove had blood on it. Yeah, they messed up evidence like they saw OJ I always knew about this somebody saw OJ that night driving in a hurry, but she sold her story to some news station so they couldn't use it Towards the defense like the defense had so many things. But the most important thing was they had a print on a gate On the wooden gate, you said right on a metal gate of melgate, but that night it rained

And that print washed off when they went to it. It was already gone The guy that checked out the cop didn't log it. It was late people are switching shifts. It's like any other job You see a murder you see two people bloodied. Guess what? If it happens at 11 30, you're gonna go check it out with the 12 you're getting the fuck out of that Because that's a lot of paperwork a lot of press If that's not your shift, you're getting the fuck out of that and that's what somebody exactly did But by leaving They left a finger print

And that changed the entire like what do you think at that? You were just out of the prison in the halfway house And you see this dude who's an nfl player and has the money And because of that he's getting out from killing somebody You can buy a defense in this country There's some things you can't buy out of There's some things if they got you listen If they would have caught him with a knife to her neck with a camera him smiling

No, that's right. Yeah, and ronald goldman laying next to him Yeah But it was all That the drive on venice boulevard or whatever washington boulevard. I'm sorry if i'm Make him mistakes on the lady's scene, uh the fingertip You know mark firming adding blood And then they caught somebody adding blood like there was blood missing from a tube It was just fucking crazy

But the bottom line was that it had to do with what had happened years earlier There was a race riot here When they announced the cops that beat up runny king runny king So there had been a big race thing here But again this i'm i'm Every day on the oj thing different facts would come out That were fueling my anger and rage And letting me know like i'm like

At that he didn't get let go till October 95 or something or 96 or something like that or he killed him in 94 Yeah, june 12th or something in 94. He sat in jail for 18 months. Yeah, so 95 october december's when he fucking got out october when he got acquitted i'm sorry and that's that's fucking crazy just There's like there's trials that like really Are part of like a generation like this is is this the biggest trial of your life?

Like just every night just new information Just the entire country's watching it. Yes. Yeah, this is the biggest one and it was made very public, you know, it was There was a lot of access to it You know cnn was always talking about the facts and stuff like that After I moved to LA I found out little things Because I had met different people here and they each had little stories about oj and you know that ronald gallman was really bringing her blow That he was bringing her coke. That's what really happened

So that's what everyone that's what everyone else is talking about the talk about that and they'll go It's terrible that he killed her you he said it's fueling your Rage so like when you're hearing it, what are you thinking? I'm like, oh my god. This is exactly how I want to do I want to show up there at night when they're fucking talking And just slice both their fucking necks off But by that time I wasn't thinking about my daughter. I wasn't thinking about nothing I was just thinking about how they had yanked me

you know Uh, one of the lessons That my mom taught me early Nuka take it out. You know never stay hit These people were fucking me up legally And they had me on one thing off the bat To kidnapping in the prison time Like it was going to be tough for me

To prove my point as a good dad Unless I would have spent a hundred thousand dollars at two hundred thousand on a great defense On a great attorney that would have built up different avenues of my and said this is you know, if I would have had a house a car Responsible job, you know, if I would have had relatives in the neighborhood I would have taken kathy to court Yeah, because you said even the judge at one point brought up the fact that like she was with you during it You guys didn't get married until after you got out of prison. Right. So how's that even an argument? That doesn't make sense. So

This you know, I'm watching this show last night And while I'm you ever watch something, but you're thinking about something else. Yeah, absolutely. What's going on? I'm thinking about this time And there was even my wife at one time to me said to me you're quiet tonight. I'm thinking about this how I can't even tell this story to people because they'll think i'm crazy. So I have to tell them on the podcast tomorrow when I could really tell them that I saw pictures of the crime scene Like pictures of the crime scenes have been leaked, you know, he decapitated her. I mean it was it was held by just

A couple fucking so where would stuff get leaked back then before the you know, how are the like the newspapers can't print that CNN had pictures, you know people Pictures were getting released pictures were getting bought, you know and I remember seeing the crime scene and thinking about the final result I had a friend when I first moved to ballton 85 I used to buy weed at this. I used to live at 10 12 14th street

On the on the hill. Okay, right across street from the university It was a boarding house And I lived in an apartment with three other fucking morons A japanese kid a white kid a mexican kid. The japanese kid was my cook I used to go up to the fucking uh to the thing by meat and I would he would cook it for me japanese style with steam rice And he would get half the food So that was my deal you had you always get stuff. How do you get someone to be your chef? Because that's he was a poor college student from japan

He was eating shit. He was eating shit when I go don't your parents send you money. Hi My parents know but So I said fuck it So I said, here's the deal I'm going to go to houff мет on the hill every fucking day And by meat chicken pork And it's shredded It's organic. I want you to make something nice. Tell me what you want me to get in the morning and I'll get it And he would say today get pork get three onions

Get two pieces of mushroom get fucking this type of mushroom get this type of mushroom We buy some jasmine rice and he'd have jasmine rice at the house and when I got home at five or six from work, bam, he would cook up a fuckin' little meal for me and he would get to eat. How great is that? That's an amazing story. That's way better than the way,

but how long did you do that? So the cops were looking for me two months later. Two months of Japanese cooking, that's fuckin' amazing. Every night, every night I went to our office, I bought some food, I brought it home about 12 after I went to the gym, cause it was part of my gym walk.

I wasn't workin', I had money from the fuckin' settlement, I had money on a credit card. I had a thievery credit card. So I was livin' like a doctor, Jack. I'd get up about 8.30, smoke a number, but next door to me were these hippies. Like this really old, ugly hippie and a little young stinky boyfriend.

So she was 50 something and he was 25. He was a nerd with glasses, very sweet. And she was very sweet too. She was just, she got hit with the ugly stick a thousand times. Like nobody ever thought of fuckin' this woman, except for this. And she was a hippie, so she was stinky.

And she was a stinky, dirty feet. And she drank all day and sell weed. So I met this dude out of there, his name was Ed. I mean, Ed used to walk out and smoke a joint and then we'd go get cookies or a slice of pizza. And little by little I became friends with Ed. He was my goomba, and he was a Vietnam vet. That also bought weed from her.

And we became friends and he would tell me how he would go to the VA and he was captured in Vietnam. And little by little we became friends and we kept talking and talking and talking. And some nights we'd buy weed and just go to the hill and smoke a joint and sit up there and talk shit. And then I told him I was a thief one time. And he told me he was broke.

He didn't get a check till like the fifth. I said, come on, let's go rob something. So he went down to the Pearl Street mall and there was a cookie thing on the corner. And I said, stay on the cops. Stay on the corner. If you see a cop coming down that block, fucking wave your hands or whistle and walk slowly.

And sure enough, I kicked the window in, I robbed the place for nothing, $160 in nickels or something stupid, I was a punk. And I gave him half and we became friends after that. He goes, you're the real deal, fuck you. You'd be my lookup. So he would come with me on credit card things. He would come in different things.

So over the years, we just stayed in touch, but he was a killer. Never forget what he was. I mean, he took me to where he was staying one time. He lived like by Chautauqua Park and like eight guys lived in an apartment and he lived like an attempt in the corner for like a hundred a month.

And he takes showers there and he read. How old was he around, do you think? If I was 20 when I met Ed, you figure 85. I was 22 years old when I met Ed. Ed had to be 10, 15, 20 years older than me, maybe 15 years older than me. So you started a 40 year old man on a criminal career path.

Me and Ed, Ed, come on, look out for me. Whatever I made, I gave Ed half. So Ed became my fucking illegal bodyguard. Ed had knives, Ed had weapons. Ed had fucking night goggles. Ed had everything because he was still involved with those Vietnam dudes. He was still involved with training at the facilities.

He would go down and train no matter how old he was and no matter whether he was a little fucked up in the head. Ed was still a killing machine. So even I kept Ed as a friend when I went to prison. He would write me letters. Ed was a real fucking deal. I mean, I want to cry because all the people I lost contact with, it was Ed.

And so why did you lose contact then if you were so close? Ed and me, I moved to Seattle. Ed had like a number and a PO box. And I wrote him a few letters and he never wrote me back. So then when I went to Boulder in 96, when I left Seattle, I went back to Boulder, I went looking for him.

And people said they hadn't seen him. They might have moved to Denver because it was getting gentrified, Boulder also. It was after the earthquake in Northridge. After an earthquake, this place fucking clears out, people start from scratch somewhere else. So a lot of people moved, a lot of people came. So Ed, probably his rent, they tore down where he lived.

Who knew? But Ed got out of Boulder and never saw Ed again. But Ed was my fucking friend. Like Ed was like a Rago type friend to me, like a Filato. Like Ed, I loved Ed. Well, to have the kind of trust you probably need in somebody to rob places with them. It was more than that.

I don't know. Like I remember one time me and Ed were by roses. It was a place that roasted chickens, okay? Okay. And it was the day of time. And me and Ed was stoned to the gills. We had just smoked like a joint and a half and we were eating munchies

and we're sitting in front of the Fox Theater and all of a sudden 10 cops pull up and there's a dude in the roof and he's thinking of jumping, right? And I look at Ed and there's 10 cops and there's psychiatrists talking to him and I yell jump in front of all these people and Ed and me just fucking fall out.

Like just fall the fuck out on the floor. People are looking ahead at me like, get the fuck out of here. What's wrong with you? And now we're both yelling in unison, jump, jump, jump, cock sucker, jump. And he's like, fuck you. The guys up on the roof, fuck you too.

Are you gonna do it? And the cops like, we're gonna fucking arrest you. So me and Ed ran and Ed was my dog. So when I was going through all this, Ed, I was going to Ed and crying and going, hey, can you believe she did this to me? And Ed goes, listen, okay. So you slice the throat, who gets the kid?

And I go, he goes, listen, there's a way that you could kill it and nobody will fucking know. I mean, so Ed was, so Ed had a friend named Ra. Did Ra? Ra, he had Agent Aaron on his face. Oh, that's scary. He was really scary.

Like people called him Satan and shit. And Ed said that in Vietnam, he was one of those guys that cut people's ears off and shit. So Ed talked to Ra and they're like, dog, we could supply you with everything to make her fucking disappear. So you kill it, you disappear. No, they don't find the body.

I'll teach you how to fucking backpedal everything so they can't find you. Nothing, no scent. Well, wait, okay, so you're pissed off. You want to kill her, right? I'm furious. Now this is what happens. Christmas, he kills June of 94.

Right. Now I've had enough. Okay. I've had that fucking with me. I can't see the baby for Christmas. I can't do this. And this was one of the scariest things I ever did. I get a call one day.

It's Christmas Eve morning or something, one of those like the day before Christmas Eve. It's the 23rd where people were at work. And I get a fucking call at my house, like a page. And I go to the pay phone. That's an attorney. He's like, I'm just calling you to inform you. You're not getting your child today.

Until what? January 22nd till the formal hearing. And I go, what are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? And I hung up on him and I called Kathy and I go, Kathy, I don't know what you're doing, man. You're not gonna give me the kid for seven weeks over the holidays.

Who does this? Who does this? Even if you and I have a misunderstanding. Who does this? Until you stay before Christmas Eve. Goodbye, Merry Christmas. Fuck you and she hangs up on me. I went to my friend, Danny, in Madeline's house.

And I got the bigger butcher knife they had. And I hugged her and she goes, where are you going with that knife? I gotta cut something outside in the car. She knew. And when I got in the car, I could see her chasing me in the rear view mirror. And I got in the car and I made a left hand turn

down fucking 28th and I drove right to where the guy worked. As I pulled onto his lot, I saw his fucking car there. Wait, music? What is it like when you're driving with a fucking knife to go stab somebody? I was just crying. I just was crying because I was gonna let everybody down. I'm gonna go fuck this motherfucker.

I fucking knew it. I knew it. I fucking knew it. Like the same way I tied that dude up. Like the same way I did a thousand other bad things. I was gonna chop this motherfucker up right in this fucking office. Try to hide it or just right in front of everybody.

I had the knife in my collar, in my sleeve. It was gonna pop out of my arm. Like DeNiro had his knife in the fucking taxi driver. No, so you're not even worried or thinking about getting away with it? Not that. No, no, in my mind, there was no way. I was gonna make a point.

I was gonna fucking make a point. I was gonna chop this motherfucker up and brought daylight. Say anything or just fucking just go for it? Just go for it. That was it. Everything bad that happened to me in my life was gonna culminate right the fucking now. Like right now, everything bad that happened to me,

whether I didn't get lunch in the third grade, if a dog bit me, everything bad that ever happened to me, I was gonna take out on this fucking guy right now. With that knife, fuck. I went to the front. I said, where can I find John Ball? They said on the fourth floor, whatever the fifth floor, I got on the fucking elevator, I went upstairs

and I just started walking. I went right to his office. I just opened the door's reception. So that man said, where's John? She goes, if you're referring to Mr. Ball, he just stepped out to lunch with his associates. I walked out, I went downstairs and I just cried for like 10 fucking minutes in the car

because he had no idea and I had no idea what I was gonna get myself into. This guy could have had a gun. This guy could have been waiting for me in the office. That was it. I was fucking scared, man. If I had done that, I was gonna do anything. I didn't trust myself anymore.

So I made a promise. I forced myself to get on stage every time I felt shitty. Every time I felt shitty after that. And finally, I think I got her, I think I got her like the day after Christmas. I called her father and fucking said, listen, you fucking not kidding me. You're not kidding me.

And he called and got the kid and I got her like the day after Christmas. I was pissed. I didn't even talk to them. At this point, I wouldn't even look at their faces no more. I just knew the day was gonna come soon. I just had to figure out how to do it. And I didn't know whether I was gonna do one of them

or do them both. But if you're walking on ice, your mind is gonna dance. I was gonna do them both. If you- One right in front of the other. I was gonna say like if you had, if John was there and you did it, were you just gonna go for the wife, do you think?

Both of them. Both of them were gonna go down. One right in front of the other so quick that this guy or this girl would shit their pants. They wouldn't even know what to happen. Most people do. When you slice somebody's neck, most people do. They don't know what to fucking do.

Everything I've ever seen in my life when people get into misunderstandings, the guy that moves first like that unsuspiciously and makes like a heavy fucking move, just everybody in the room freezes. That's where experience comes from. That's where bodyguard or being in the service or being a cop reaction.

It's reaction. That's what the weird thing is when you're on the street and the terrorist comes and he starts spraying a fucking restaurant here and it's your reaction. Are you really gonna go for your ankle holster and start shooting somebody? It looks so easy on TV.

Right, and so that's the same, I guess the thing, I've got my question for you. You had been planning on, oh, I got a call. Speaking of bad motherfuckers, Mike Powell on the phone. Yes, sir. What's happening, brother? Oh, man, I don't know. I'm just enjoying life right now, big D.

Where's the baby? He's in his room picking him out. Beautiful, congratulations on Saturday. All I've been reading about is the 40-year-old still has it. That's right, this old dog still got some fight, right? Listen, unfucking believable. When I called Lee on Saturday, that's the first thing Lee said to me.

Did you see Mike Powell? Jesus fucking Christ. It was a great fight, man. It was fucking, like the announcers were, like they weren't kind of being mean to you, but they weren't favoring you that much and you just started, it was in the second round

and it was like, you know how John Jones punches with his elbows? You kind of punched down a little bit. It was almost like you were smacking him and punching him at the same time and you would grab his head and just go, just smacking. It was just amazing.

There was a reason behind that kind of a downward punch like that, maybe in the taller guy's run to his style because he really, he hunkers down and hide behind his jab, right? So he exposes the backside of his head a little bit and looks over his brow like he's supposed to and with a little bit of a height advantage, I knew that, you know, punching straight at him

would probably deflect off of his, off of his good punching technique. So I wanted to come over the top of it and hit him with the club hammer fist. It was amazing. Now watch, man, and I know you must be getting the question a lot like, oh, the four year old, but like, that was a good fight.

Just because, it was just a good fight, but I wanted to ask you about like your first fight, man. Like you've been in the UFC for however many years and you've been fighting. Like, do you remember like your first wrestling match or first, whatever it was? Yeah, my first matches were Jiu-Jitsu. There were small, you know, this is when,

tell this was 95, 96, I started to do some, some Jiu-Jitsu tournaments wanted to start competing there first and then migrate. Well, not try to go into MMA, MMA really didn't really exist, so yeah, I remember that, you know, getting out there and I did a great job. I won one of our most micro-apple matches I was ever in

and I was self-taught for many years. You were self-taught? I was self-taught in my parents' property in an old shed that measured 13 by 15. I had old rugs and carpet padding down on the floor with a type of a cart that you might throw over a wood pile to keep dry or something. And that was my training facility with a punching bag

in the middle of it and a grappling dummy named Bob and a 19 inch, maybe even smaller, maybe a 13 inch color TV and PCR for my video tapes and a bunch of black belt magazines with the step-by-step grappling moves and whatnot, you know, shit like that. Self-taught better. And no other kids on the block

or you had a few kids on the block that would come over? I didn't have a block. I didn't have a block, Joey. I lived in a stick. I had a road. All right, anybody down the fucking road? Nobody down the fucking road. We had farmers down the road that had shit to do.

I had a cousin I would pick on. My girlfriend, I mean, my sister's boyfriend at the time became one of my first Jujitsu students. He was probably six foot, 135 pounds, soaking wet, skinny. So, you know, he was a body to use as well. So, you know, I used what I could, did what I could. How do you feel, Mike Pyle? I feel fantastic.

I feel, you know, I feel like I really accomplished something great over this weekend of a personal goal of mine that I really wanted to, I really wanted to win that fight. I took a lot of time and I put a lot of effort and thought into, you know, my fight against Sean. So, you know, everything came together. Everything was just perfect, you know,

and I ended up getting, you know, a fight of the night bonus as well. So, I mean, that was just icing on the cake, man. I feel absolutely great. Yeah, I'm just on top of the world, man. I'm way, I'm way too excited about it. You know, you look good. Your movement looks good.

Your movement is still young. I mean, a couple of months ago, what's that guy's name for? One of the shamrocks. Yeah, and he's 51 or something. I can fucking tell he's 50 fucking one. I can fucking tell his movement looked 51, okay? You're 40, you're still looking like you're 33.

You know, you took good care of yourself over the years, which helps, you know, a lot of people would say, ah, well, my pile's 40, maybe he's juicing or whatever the fuck. No, I can just tell you're taking fucking care of yourself, man. You're taking really good care of yourself. You know, with the new, with the new, with you saw on board, you know, there's no, there's no getting away with anything.

You know what I mean? You can't, I've always been a clean fighter. You know, I've never been, you know, on the juice or whatever. You've never seen me in there all ripped up and fucking scary looking because I never did that shit. But so yeah, now we're all on a good, on a clean slate. So now I know for sure I'm not fighting anybody on anything. And you know, and of course I'm not on anything.

Definitely not using anything. No, no, no, no, I just said it like a lot of guys would go, oh, maybe he's 40. He's doing, oh, no, no, you look great. And I could tell that, no, you look great, man. But it's, it's crazy how I'm 52 and I go to jujitsu and I tell you at home, I feel like I can't do this shit I used to do at night and, you know,

I can't drink or nothing like that. Or, but I could still work out four or five days a week. Like I could go to jujitsu three days a week and make it work for me now and maybe one day on the elliptical and, you know, I started. I'm sure you've seen differences too when you first started your products.

Man, what the hell? But now it's gotten routine for you. It's gotten, it's, it's like you might want it now. Like it kind of, you kind of crave it a little bit, right? Yeah, I do. I tell Lee, I do something every other day now. Every other day I try to do something. That's the new thing.

Not two days on, two days off. I try to do something heavy duty. Like I went to the body emotion. Yeah, body emotion. I walk here, I walk the baby to school every morning. We pick her up cause it's a little later and it gets a little fucking crazy to walk down those streets.

But I know, I know, you know, Saturday for you, not only that, you've been fighting for so long that you're so experienced. It's like watching Bernard Hopkins towards the end there. He remember he was fighting to his strengths and then he was holding back. He wasn't over-fighting. He wasn't getting tangled up in fucking stupid exchanges.

He was conserving his energy and he would only strike when the fucking opening was there. And even with the elbows you were throwing, they were precise, you know, obviously. They were precise and you were, it's called, what is it called? Like saving of economy of motion or economy of, I don't fucking know. I'm not a train and no I don't.

But I think it's interesting that Mike, that you started with a jiu-jitsu because that's what I've found. I just started a couple months ago and I'm terrible but the great jiu-jitsu people are really calm and like they don't overreact anything. So it was funny when he hit you, I think it was in like the second or the third round

and even I think Brian Stan said you were playing possum but as soon as you did it, you started giggling which is like a crazy thing to have happen in a UFC fight to like to smile in the ring. They're like, I would be terrified the entire time. Well, what happened there is when I stumbled a little bit, the camera didn't pick it up so I did that, I did a little, you know, oh, try to, you know,

hopefully he'd maybe come in hard and I'd laugh with one but he kind of stepped forward real quick and then he smiled like, oh no, I know what you're doing and that's why I smiled, I smiled back at him because he noticed what happened and then he started smiling. He kind of shook his head at me like, oh no, I ain't falling for that one.

How long do you stay off the training for now? Probably, I'll be back in the gym next week. There's not going to be any intensity involved but I get back in there, maybe work on stuff, start moving the weights around a little bit, keeping my old man's strength and then start working on, you know, some lifts again, work on some, you know, I got dropped in that first round

so look at that, see, you know, what happened there a little bit, work on that, you know, just fix some things a little bit here and there and see, you know, and get in there, get on the mat, roll around, not with any intensity, you know, learn some new stuff. So I'll probably, I'll be back in the gym next week, probably Monday, I'll be back in there doing something.

Well, Vinny hit me back, so I will definitely, I hope to see you Friday morning. I'm going to go to Vinny's. Yes, we can make that happen. Well, I think Vinny, see, the problem is, Friday is no geek, I'm not a no geek guy. Every time they grab the back of my neck, I have a nervous breakdown, so I can't have that.

I'm still a geek guy, I'm an old man, Mike, wow. I got to do the geese and simple passes and you know, you know what, sounds and shit like that. I move slow, like Roger Gracie, not because I'm methodical, because that's all I got, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's quite okay. This Friday or next Friday?

Next Friday, 19th, it's funny, there's a great blue belt in class today and I had a free spot with him and at one time he put his leg down and I put my knee on top of it and he goes, oh, now you fucking got me. He goes, Jesus Christ. And I put my other leg on top of it and we both just laughed and I just got off it.

But I don't have much, but what I got is that three bills coming at you. So if I get that on, you know. You know, it's not about, it's not about all that. And it's about, you get in there, you know, you bullshit with the guys, you're hanging out, you're learning, you know, and you're giving yourself knowledge

every time you go in there, you're learning, you're a martial artist, that's what it's all about. I'm scared to death. When I was going to kickboxing, that was fine. You know, I could do the rounds and the people would kick me and I could deal with that. Jesus Christ, my pal, when people get on top of me, I had sleep apnea, so there's, I can't fucking breathe.

I get anxiety, so I just go now and I get on my back on every exercise. I just throw myself through it. So then there's something to work on there. That's what, there's a panic there, learn how to not get all the way completely on your back, learn how to stay just on your side or something like that, figure it out,

figure that puzzle out, make yourself comfortable there, figure it out. That's what it's all about. So self-journey, everyone has a different purpose for every single person and you'll figure it out, you know? You're a beautiful man. You're on a little journey. When you won the other night, I was so happy.

My wife was fucking happy. You make me so happy when you fight because I know that you're a blue collar, motherfucker. You're just a blue collar guy like me, you know, and you're scrappy and you know your number one strength is your fucking heart and your balls. That's it. I don't know about jujitsu or boxing,

but your number one strength, you got nothing but heart and balls. I love that matter about you, so. Well, I appreciate that. I think more, a lot more of my approach to a fight really showed, you know, in this last fight and more people talked about, you know, how calm and precise and basically my approach to fighting.

You know, there's a lot of guys that, you know, that are the Rockham, Sockham robot, the ones that like to see who can beat each other the hardest and fall down, but that's not me. And I think that's why I have a bit of longevity in the sport too, because I'm harder to hit. My base is I take a different approach to a fight than a lot. You know, I'm not the most exciting fighter in the world.

That's for sure, but that's not what I'm going for. My mind is to out hit, to out whip and out hit. That's what it's all about to me. You keep repeating a word, that's very it. There's my dog, there's my boy. You keep repeating a word. You know, mama. Yes, it does.

You keep saying the word calm, you know, calm is calm means that you're breathing is amazing. That's all that your calm is. But Mike, you have to slow that shit down because it's crazy enough in there as it is. So if you get, you know, if you're just, in my opinion, you know, a lot of guys work great under, under a sheer chaos in the fight

and look and hope to catch you in an exchange or something like that. But for me, I like to just slow everything down. I can see everything, my decent is better. You know, you know, I'm not looking to try to put a guy out in the first, you know, minute, minute and a half and be that flashy kind of guy. That's not, not me.

So if you slow it all down, I just feel like that you can make better decisions in there when you need to. So that's just my style. So they were like that. That was one of the things they were saying. They said that you are a slow starter sometimes. Do you, would you call that or would you just call it that you like to study your opponent

and you can take a couple of hits until you really know how you're going to attack it? Yeah, slow starter just kind of, it just takes you a little bit to get woken up and find a rhythm. Kind of is what that kind of means. And you know, I've worked on that. I worked on it in the back, meaning I get a lot better warmup, a more intense warmup.

A lot of, it's kind of hard to explain, but just a lot more punches and things to wake me up going on in the back now and you know, just different things to kind of get me awake. Cause yeah, it's true. You know, it takes me a little bit to get going. And some guys have come in and taken advantage of that and really get on it quick.

Where this kid, he or Sean, he did the same, but game plan was just staying on my wheels. Stay, stay hard to hit and take it into the, take the fight deeper. And this is exactly what we did. And that was good and self rewarding for myself as well. For that night, I learned a lot. And that was one thing I learned about myself that night too,

is I stuck with the game plan, did what I was supposed to for that first couple of minutes, get moving, but still I got popped. You know, he dropped me, but wasn't good enough to put me away. Wasn't hard enough rather. So I was able to, I was able to maintain, gather myself and get the job done.

Well, you keep saying, and you said that night, you said like, I'm not that entertaining of a fighter. I just rewatched the fight before the show. And it wasn't like, I was entertained the whole time. I was entertained. It was great. You started off, not that was slow, but it was just like you feeling each other out.

And then like the middle of that second round, when you guys are just battling each other was crazy. And then at the end of the third round was amazing. Like I've never seen a fighter do that, like look for a ref to say, come on, man, stop it. That was, that was interesting. I was giving him a chance because man, I was hitting the dude really hard, man.

Like when I was hitting him with those knees, I mean, I, I mean, it, it was like his head was going to crack open. So I just looked at the ref lights. I'm going to keep, I mean, really? Okay. I mean, that's what I'm in there to do. But I feel like he was, he was beaten enough.

So whatever. My one more, one more strike after that. He stopped it. So he was ready. He was ready to stop me. So I love you, Mike Powell, man. I'm happy. I'm going to, hopefully I'll see you next week for sure.

I don't know if you can make it to the show. Oh, send them my love. You know, I love the debt. You're standing right here and you're on speaker. All right. Tell her I send them my love. How are you, Mrs. Pile? Hopefully everything's going all right over there.

Oh, everybody's happy. Oh, please. You got to fight it. I got a big win. Got a bonus. Bonus? Forget about it. Everybody's happy.

Everybody's jumping up and down. You like Beyonce at the Super Bowl jumping up and down. I love you, Mike Powell. I'll see you next Friday for class. You, you got it. All right, bring your ghee. You have a ghee? I got a ghee and I got a black milk.

Go with it. Oh, Jesus. Oh, now I'm really scared. I might not show up now. I'll see you next Friday. Thank you for calling them. And congratulations. Love you guys.

Thank you so much. Thank you guys. You got it. What a sweetheart of a guy. I'm really happy for him. I'm really happy. Let me give him some shout outs. Real quick, number one in my man, Berge,

and his beautiful wife for dropping off the B-52 out. At the house and making my fucking day for my birthday. I've loved you to the death, Berge, since the day we met when you were in front of me in the fucking car. I've always loved Berge. Neal Hardy, Sean Parry, my man, JT, Atlanta, Greek, Leon, Constantine Rain,

Waterboxer, Uki Spooky, my girl, Cleo, Jimmy Christensen. You know who the motherfuckers are, man. I love you guys with all my heart. I'm happy that you're still part of what we're doing here. What's up with you, fucko? I had a good week with my dad. I know you did. That was fun, St. John.

It means the world to me that you're around him. A lot of people don't know how important that is, that you, I like it. I was torturing you all week that you poisoned them with that shitty food. I can tell it was pissing you off. You were confused. Because we would get high every night

and you would call me and you'd be like, that place has lizards. I'm like, it doesn't have lizards. It wouldn't still be open, but it had lizards. It's got fucking lizards in there. You're like, do you know I got sick over there? You got food poisoning. Everybody got sick.

Chinese people get sick. Chinese people never get sick. When they get sick, eat Mexican food, you know it's a fucked up place. So that, I just wanted to talk about that today. It's a great show from what I've seen. The acting is good. You know, it keeps me entertained.

It's a little Tuesday night thing. So it replaces my wife's son in the anarchy shit. But you know, some son's anarchy was on Tuesday. Right. And it comes on at seven. So that's why it's just a very interesting series that at first I was like, why would somebody do this? People don't even remember that shit.

And I'm like, wait a second. I thought of Lee. And I go, Lee was just being born when the shit went down. Yeah, I didn't know what happened. All little things went out, the rioting, the earthquake. I mean, LA was just getting bombarded for fucking months. And then this OJ thing really pushed it over. People didn't know what the fuck to think

with this OJ thing. They didn't know what to think. On that day that he got acquitted, that fucked the country up for like a week, man. Because it showed the country that if you put together, like, okay, he had the dream team for illegal defense. Right. But you also, it also showed like a guy like me

that if you pay for your defense, sometimes the prosecution, I know, I know I'm my kidnapping thing with the prosecutor. I should have taken that to trial. This time, I think like I should have gummed it out with them, because I would have fucked them all up. Cause both of those guys' credibility was shit. I had the best, when I got the best credibility

in the fucking room, you got a goddamn problem. Yeah, but shit goes down. Shit goes down. Like shit goes, like the DA's office is all the time that are getting caught, like Orange County now is just had to fire all their DA's. Why? Because they were all corrupt.

Like it was something like there were 90% conviction rate, like the highest in Orange County. And then like, I don't know, it was a whole bunch of DA's and police of people that got had to get fired because they were corrupt and probably not doing evidence. I don't know the full story. Well, falsifying evidence and, you know, planting evidence

and, you know, not fucking logging in. There's a lot of shit. Listen, like with John Gotti's defense, the government bit in and they decided they were gonna take John Gotti. People talk. People always talk. The only way you and I could do something is if we talk.

The only way you and I could make money is if we talk. Right. But if you listen to those Gotti tapes, something wasn't right, I've always thought. And then I always thought that. I always thought that. I heard the tapes, you know, 10 years later and I read the thing, my friend got me the thing

and how he was talking about Sammy the Bull and he was talking about all this money. The bottom line is the feds taped them saying, oh, this shit, okay? You know, they could have got a wiretap later. You know, they had wiretap people. Like what happens is those people that work for the feds quit and now they know how to work the feds

because they've been in that room when the feds are like, fuck that, make that kilo instead of we will. Instead of we will go make that a kilo, you know, just so we could hit kilo, whatever, whatever the fuck. Yeah, that's why I was surprised you wanted to take your thing to trial. Well, because in Boulder, they weren't dirty as much as white.

See, in Boulder, they weren't dirty as much as white. What's the difference? I wanted to play fucking big East defense, but I paid 500 bucks or something to see the law clerk that had a law school. Okay. When you get in trouble, there's a process. And I was gonna go, see, I lucked out

because I would have got a court appointed attorney because Tidwell got arrested first and he got a public defender. So I couldn't get a public defender because that's conflict of interest. So I got a real fucking attorney. So I had the state pay for a real fucking attorney for me. I just had to pick one.

You follow me? So I would fire attorneys till I found the one I wanted, the state would have to fucking pick them. Even though I had to pay my attorney money too on the side. For what? Because I wanted him to do a good fucking job. Your tip, your attorney? Right now.

$17,000 worth of tips. Over how long? Six months. And he would just go, yep. And then another 1,500 when I got out. Why? Because of the job that he did, Lee. I was looking at nine fucking years.

He did what the fucking, he did what the dream team did without the four other guys. That's how smart and white he was. Did he act surprised or shocked when you offered him money or he was used to it? That's fucking crazy to me. I mean, I get why you did it.

Take this. Take this, that's what that's called. Take it. I want you to know I'm committed to this. You're committed, I'm committed. We're all fucking committed. Okay, I want you to know, he swayed their decision. He swayed their, how can I say it?

He did something that I didn't think about doing in the defense. He was like, I'm gonna take away the violence because I looked through every fucking piece of paper that you got, every arrest is no violence. So I'm gonna plant the violence on Tidwell. He goes, watch, that's the first thing I'm gonna do because I'm gonna get you convicted of a nonviolent crime.

He goes, you're gonna get convicted about something. When I went to the law clerk at the department, this is what happened. All right, I got out. I asked around. I met with a couple of shysters. They were just straight up gangsters. Straight up $800 suits, gangster and me, this and this.

So what I did was I called Sam DeLuca, the guy in Jersey. That was my mother's attorney. He wanted $30,000 just to get on the plane. And I'm like, this is not gonna work. But can I ask you something? What if I send you a check just for, and he goes, no, no, no, no, your mom and me were tight and won and I go, listen, this what's going on.

He goes, do me a favor. He goes, get a pen. And he goes, call this guy at the University of Colorado law department. He runs the department because I'm tight with him. I'll get off the phone with you and I'll call him up. And he knows that system better than me. Call him up and listen to what he has to tell you.

He's gonna charge you. I think he charged me like 500 bucks for a one hour fucking sitting chat about what he would do. And he planned out the defense for me. And he goes, if you go with an East Coast guy, they're gonna give you a thousand years. He goes, I want you to go with a fucking farmer.

A guy that looks like a farmer. That's him, like he's drafting your defense. That's crazy. So he told me you're gonna do 90 to 120 days. In any, and that's minimum. That's the least you're gonna do. He goes, if I was a judge, I'd give you six months in county.

Or I'd send you to prison and reconsider your sentence, which is what your attorney's gonna do. He goes, they're gonna give you something because of the weapon involved. Whether it was your weapon or not, whether your fucking prints weren't on the machine gun or not. That's really only six months?

Well, because he wanted to show me a lesson. Like a year in county jail is six months. You follow me? So if I could- I would've thought it'd be like a six or seven year sentence. Well, what he was saying was, if I pay for the defense, I'll get a long probation like the Afluenza kid in short time, just to scare me so I behave.

See, that's what happened to the Afluenza kid. He had so much money, they just paid those gangsters off and they got him 10 years probation, which is never good if there's no punishment. Because now the guy's like, I got off, I do what the fuck I want. No, you didn't get off. You got 10 year fucking probation, stupid.

That means if you get three or four driving fucking tickets and they come up before your probation officer, he can fucking send you back. You know, for like a habitual bad driver or something. They'll find something. Well, that story is fucking crazy. But like, will you always say, like if your mom had lived,

you would've been a spoiled guy? Worthless. Like him, like the Afluenza? Worthless. Worthless, because, okay. Yeah, I hustled a little before my mom died, but I hustled with a back door. Like I always knew mom, it would bail me out.

Do you follow what I'm saying to you, hustling? When you got a bailout and hustling, when you're hustling for yourself, it's two different hustles, my friend. Do you work harder when you don't have a bailout, I guess? You work smarter and you play for keeps. It took me 10 years to learn how to play for fucking keeps. I didn't know how to play for keeps.

I was just playing the game. I didn't really know what was going on out there. But once you have a mommy, if you get robbed, or you get in trouble, somebody bailed you out. When I get in trouble, there was nobody there to bail me out. You follow where it's, listen Lee, tomorrow you bet New England Patriots and they lose. And I come to your house and I sit you down,

and you go, listen, bro, I need 20,000. You lost 33, I'm not looking for the 33. But I'll tell you what, Lee, I will kick that fucking door down the office. I will take everything, a computer in there, and then I'm gonna come looking for you. See, you better give me fucking something by Friday. I want 20,000 by Friday and we'll work out 13,000.

If you got it 12 in the bank, where you gonna get the other eight from? Mom, brother and dad first. Yeah, yes, probably. There's always an angle. You can always have one. And are you gonna pay mom the eight grand back if you're still gambling?

Are you gonna pay, no, no. I never finished it, but the movie, The Gambler, where he's just borrowing hundreds of thousands of dollars from his parents, oh my God. Gave you anxiety. I can't even imagine it. Because he always had an out. If I fucking told him, I'm gonna break your fucking head.

You know, stop fucking gambling, cock sucker. Then it would have been a different goddamn story. But once you have an out, like I had a friend that had a grandmother. Every time he lost a gambler, he went through his grandmother. And his grandmother threw him, you know, fucking 10, whatever he fucking, you imagine that? Every time you lose 12, 10,000, you go to your grandmother.

That'd be amazing. Those are the kids I grew up around. And he used to infuriate me. And he would tell the story like, my grandma need 10,000 for my car business. If you give me this 10,000, I'll give you 20 and three weeks. You never pay back your relatives. Nobody does, you take them as a job.

So you get that free pass. Now you gotta pay me off to 13. It won't be fucking payments. That's the, yeah, that's way too much. I would have too much anxiety to bet on. I would never bet too much. I would never bet more than I had. Oh, that's what you say at first.

But then after it sucks you in, after you win a couple of thousand, and you're like, oh, I got this. Then you'll, That's why I'm so happy. And I didn't work in Vegas or ever live in Vegas. You wanted to move there and be a professional. No, no, no, no, I was gonna write a little story.

I had that in the interview at the UFC and thank God. I would have been back in Boston. I'm very lucky. Two, three years ago, I started thanking him every time I woke up in the morning. But I'm very lucky, Lee. You know, I was in a position during that whole thing that I was gonna kill those people.

Like, last night I was sitting there and I tried to explain to Terry and I stopped because I don't want Terry to even think of me that way, you know, like the, I don't want to think that, I don't want to make Terry think that, but I can tell you guys and I can tell you your family because this is where I came from.

That was the darkest I ever was. So now. What? Can I ask you a question? Yeah. When you were talking, when you were, when those guys, the Vietnam guys were telling you

how they were gonna kill him and leave him, whatever, even, what are you thinking on the inside? Like that, like my, it would blow my brain. Like, cause you never killed anybody at that point. Like when people are telling you that, like how can you even react? I was so angry, Lee. I was so angry that it brought up the shit

that I was angry about when I was a kid. Like I was so hurt after my divorce, how she acted over the kid, that I couldn't get over it. Remember when I told you when you can't rap, you had around something, your central nervous system breaks down, you walk around fucking confused.

Like I was just walking around. I don't know till this day how I was doing stand up or what was coming out of my mouth because I was just plain fucking angry. Are there any tapes from back then? I don't know. I was just plain fucking angry. I would go to bed angered.

I would wake up angered. And then I was adding blow to the thing, which would make me more angry. And then I would have to tolerate. I would have to see them on Wednesdays and Sundays. And then I would get a bill from the attorney on the fifth. And it would be for thousands, Lee. So I'd have to call the guy and go,

I'm gonna send you over a thousand tomorrow. A thousand on the fucking 12th. And then 500 on the 18th, it was just stressful. And would you get stressed out like the 30th or whatever, just knowing that the fifth is coming up, just knowing that that bill is coming? No, and I was getting stressed out about what? That I'm giving a jerk off 2,000 a month.

You're giving that same jerk off. You're giving a different jerk off 2,000 a month. And this is 1,500 that could be going into your daughter's pocket and 500 that could be going into my pocket. This is what I was pissed off about. That I was paying all this money to see my fucking daughter every month, plus child support, plus my cocaine habit,

plus trying to fucking survive, you know? All these little things were going on. Plus this lady's yanking me. Now I'm getting madder and plus I'm frustrated with the comedy because I wasn't moving fast enough. Like you're out there every fucking night. Like I was into this comedy and I'm in there every fucking night, nothing's happening.

Nothing's happening, nothing's happening. Like I'm not in the HBO, I'm not knocking on my door. I'm not, the tonight show is not calling me. You know, I got 18 or the funniest. You know, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. God only fucking knows. The only thing I did know that these people getting closer to being a fucking grave every fucking day.

And I still remember meeting with them. What the fuck was it? There was this, on the hill, there was this taco place under a barbershop on the hill, like a little more right across from the university when you first walk up to the college up up there and they lived up in Chautauqua Park or something. I met them both in that Mexican place.

And I'll never forget sitting at this table talking to them and it felt like a scene in a movie. It felt like a scene in a mafia movie, discussing how somebody was gonna die. Just, are you eating? Eating, eating tacos. And they're just sitting there just and we're gonna do this in the woods.

And they're doing this because they're my friends. There's no money involved, there was no nothing. They were seeing what was going on. And they're like, this is fucked up, that this is happening to you. What's she doing with the kid? And I'm like, this is what's happening. And for ads like fuck it, let's take this bitch down.

So at first, there was a couple of different plans. There was just a plan to scooper up with that alcohol and put it over her face and put it in a trunk of a car and take up a few miles and we were gonna have a cave already fucking set and just start to stab her and make her bleed out a little bit and then tie her up. This was crazy and we giggle, but this is what I was discussing

with two other men at a fucking table. And then Rah wouldn't show up and it'd just be me at Ed. But when Rah would show up, Rah was like, dog, let's just shoot her in the fucking head with a rifle from 30 yards. Let's see where she lives. I mean, it was just crazy. So you're not involved at all.

Go do comedy for a weekend and we'll just shoot her in the fucking head. They weren't just gonna do it over there? Shoot her in the fucking head. And then they had another plan to fucking lure in by way. Like to lure the husband first and his Porsche at the time. I mean, they had thousands of ideas, bro. They're the ones that taught me

how to put cellophane into a gas tank. And then the cellophane goes around your fuel ignition and your car stalls and that's how they would shoot. That's what they wanted to do. They were just gonna follow them to the car stall, do a cutback and then shoot them when they were in the car or they were, I mean, they had thousands of ideas.

I'm sitting there going, so now what happens? I go on the road, I come back, she's dead. I gotta go to a fucking funeral. Cops are gonna be all over me. I got no bank account, I got nothing. I got no money, so it's not like I hired a hit. So what the fuck? Who's gonna crack and rat me out first?

Because that's what happens. If you're gonna ice somebody, you gotta do it by yourself. And no witnesses and you gotta have it planned out to the fucking tee. And that's the thing, in that O.J. trial, there was one piece that we're looking for, the murder weapon and the clothes. What ever happened to that?

And the word on the street was he gave it to Kardashian. And Kardashian disposed of it. And he died of cancer. The black attorney died of cancer. The other attorney died of cancer. It's really weird what happened in that whole thing and how it turned out. Do you believe in that?

I thought, like, if you do something bad like that, later on... I've lived it. It's not that I believe in it. It's that I've lived it, Lee. I've done bad shit. And as bad shit's being done to me, that thing I did has popped up in my mind.

Just popped up in my fucking mind. And you're like, God damn it. God damn it. Do you think it's absolved after that, then? Yeah, probably is. That certain thing is forgiven. It's happening to me a ton. Like, well, I'll be sitting there going, holy shit.

I did this and now I don't do nothing. So you could feel it. When you're not doing bad things, bad things aren't happening to you. Listen, life is peaking valleys and bad things are gonna happen and good things are gonna happen. But sometimes we create those bad things.

You know, you create a DUI, right? Nobody creates a DUI. Life doesn't create a fucking DUI. You create a coke possession. You create a coke problem. You create an arrest for burglary. You create an arrest for kidnapping. These are the things we create, a flat tire.

It's not your fault, but- The road is closed. The 101, you can't get to work as there's an oil spill. You lost $55 for the day. You know when you really need money? That you'll go to work, even if it's fucking the end of the world, you'll go to work.

You know those days when an oil spill comes. And it's the day you gotta pick up your check and you missed the day of work. Do you know what I'm saying? These are little things that are just life things. You go to the airport and your plane's delayed four hours. That happens. That happens.

I could curse and call Lee and call the American Airlines or Cun on Twitter. All I want, it doesn't matter. The plane's gonna be fucking delayed. But- Do you think life ever- But you getting into the car accident and they take your prints at the hospital

and you murdered your wife 30 years early and you're on the run, that's karma. Yeah, that's fucked up. You know, you putting 30 pounds of weed under your hotel bed and you don't put the not disturb on your thing and the maid comes in and sees 30 pounds and she calls the cops and the cops wait for you. You did something to somebody.

Or just you muckering in that business. You just deserve what you get. What are you gonna blame it on? You can blame it on everybody. When you go to fucking big wings. Right. And you watch a game and you eat 60 wings and 15 fucking beers.

Right. And you get in your car, what's gonna happen if you get pulled over? You're gonna get a DUI and you're gonna go to jail and pay 10 grand. And who creates that? Oh yeah, it's totally your fault. I mean, but I mean, you said before

that the biggest problem you had was you wouldn't claim responsibility. I'm sure you said everyone in prison, everyone thinks or says they're innocent. So I mean, people, even though it is obviously their fault, people love- Everybody's framed like a motherfucker. Oh yeah, especially now.

See, this is why I don't give attention to those shows where people get framed. Why? Because now everybody gets framed. Now for the next six years, I'm gonna see 18 fucking documentaries on how everybody was fucking framed. And I get it, it's my biggest fear.

It's everybody's biggest fear. Can you imagine me going to driver's license? And all of a sudden you put your fingerprint down, they take your picture. And all of a sudden three cop cars come in. They want you to talk to you. You were involved in the murder three years ago over a pedestrian.

You left the felt, what are you fucking talking about? Did you live in Boston? And you're like, yeah, you hit somebody one night with a car or something like that. They found a piece of evidence. You had a coke bottle and you threw it by out of the window. And somebody gets hit by a car in the coke bottles. You know what I'm saying, Lee?

You never fucking leave. You never fucking know, my friend. And it's terrifying. You never fucking know. And it's been 18 years in prison. Can you imagine what you're feeling inside if you're not fucking guilty of what you did? And the crazy thing is people get offered deals a lot

and they'll say, oh, I'm not going to take the deal because I'm not guilty. Like they could have been out of prison already if they had taken a deal. But because they want to say the innocent. Would you take a deal if you were innocent or something and they made you sign a piece of paper? I heard a story about a friend of mine in Colorado.

He's got a kid. Kid was fucking 15, 14. He found the porno and he showed it to his cousin. His cousin went home and told the dad. And the cops came and arrested that kid. And they had no attorney in the room and they made him sign something. And the kid ended up going to a fucking home

and claiming guilty to one of those sex things where now he has to move into a neighborhood and tell him the thing. I told him to send me the letter. He sent me the letter. It's horrifying. It's called sexual with a young kid or something where you have a playboy and I have a playboy.

It was fucking something I had never heard before, Lee. But again, this kid didn't have an attorney. You know, call his father because he was scared. I can see how that would happen. You follow me? So there's a lot of loopholes. There's so many fucking things. But I mean, can you fucking imagine Lee?

You show me a Playboy magazine with 14. You know how many fucking kids showed me Playboy magazines and pictures of women getting fucked in the ass and black and white pictures of, pictures of women that you would buy in New York City. The Ali brothers, those kids I always talk about with Louis Alva from McKinley School where I grew up. Those kids were in eighth grade, seventh grade.

They were going to the Bronx and getting their dick sucked on Saturdays of 15 fucking bucks. And they would tell us all about how the chick would wash their dick in a bucket and all this shit. These people had hours of pornography. They had fucking, you know, they had fucking tons of pictures, like real pictures. Like your dad would take pictures of a chick

on Fridays and sell them on the corners. Fuck, that's crazy. Crazy. I was just gonna say that maybe it's because now it's digital. Like you always hear about how like some teachers will get caught in a school and they have child porn. And I was gonna think maybe back then it was just stories. But if they're selling physical pictures,

that's fucking great. Listen, Doug, I'm gonna tell you something as fucking world-ly as I think I am. And the world-ly as you may think I am, I never knew child porn existed till 20, 25 years ago. I was a grown man. I got sick to my stomach. I never knew child porn existed.

How could you? How would you think about it? Not a people magazine, one of those New Yorker magazines on a flight about, and I didn't know what existed. I didn't know any fucking idea what people paid for. And the internet is really spawned to different levels, but it had to be there.

That market was there when I was growing up. I mean, nobody took a, no coach ever took a picture of me wacking off with a bikini on a football helmet on and sold them for $5. But somebody had to be doing creepy shit like that, you know? And it's scary to think about that, to think of this huge, there's a huge market. And I'm not, you're never sure now if it's a joke article,

but I saw an article that I have a doll in Japan that's like one of those sex dolls, but it's four pedophiles. So it's like a little kid. Yeah, I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. Anymore I'm stoned and all this fucking killing talk. But yeah, that's what really happened. I have a good question for you.

Hit me. How come you were never like just a weed dealer? I could see you having a fucking fun time being just like a weed dealer listening to music. How come you never did that? I sold weed when I was younger. But at the cocaine game, it was the difference between me walking around

with a fucking bag like the one I walk around in, or me walking around with nothing in my hands and just a pound of coke in my pocket. And little 20s, I'm exaggerating a pound. Nobody, why don't I just have like a little apartment? I'm like, I'm, no. It's a lot of exposure for the amount of dough and contrast to cocaine at the time.

And I really like doing blown. I like doing it for free. So that's what worked out. But the moral of this fucking story is, man, I watch that OJ and I see what, how stupid I was for a few weeks, and how just my conversations could have became a reality. And I wouldn't be here with you right now.

I'd be doing life for murder, for fucking premeditated murder. I don't know how I shook that, man. But I remember that once all that shit went down in court, we were really adamant about it. Like, we were like, how are we gonna do it? And at this point, they were like, fuck it. When are you going on the road?

And I kept saying, pretty fucking soon. And they're like, okay, let us know, like her routing and we'll shoot her. Like with a high power rifle, we'll fucking just take her out. Were they gonna shoot the husband too? I don't know. They were like, we'll shoot whoever in the fucking car. I mean, it was fucking crazy.

And I was having these kinds. And we met a couple of times and then I would always meet Ed. Ed was my goomba. I met Ed all the time by most bagels in North Hollywood. He would come down from those hills and we'd meet over by that bagel shop. There was a supermarket over there.

I don't know what it is now. There was a little liquor store, so I would always buy Ed a beer and we'd just chitchat outside, you know? It really hurt having those conversations. And a big part of me really wanted a fucking icer at the time, man. But you know what, man?

I'm lucky that I am a pussy. I'm lucky that I didn't go through with it. I'm lucky. Thank God. I just know. You know what made me think about it? I go, what the fuck am I thinking? I would make that little girl a fucking orphan.

Orphan, like I was. And at that point, I wasn't about to be a parent. There was no fucking way. And nobody was gonna let me be a parent. Her parents would definitely get out. Listen, eventually I would have gone to jail. No matter how clean that was, I could have been on the fucking moon on TV

and that would have got back to me. Because those guys were just crazy. Those guys were crazy. And I'm sure the other guy was doing hits for somebody on the side or something. They were fucking crazy. It's amazing how a one decision could have just changed your life.

Changed my life with the anger. Just because, yeah. I had hatred. I had so many fucking feelings going through me. And I just wanted to fucking, I can't even, what? Nothing, it was just a little plane. It's the plane? Or is it the end of the fucking world?

I don't know. It's like motorcycles and sons of anarchy. Anyway, it was just watching that OJ thing brings me back to that time. That's it. That's all I wanted to talk about today. How lucky I am that I'm here doing a podcast with you. Because right now I could have been doing a podcast

and fucking behind the fucking walls of Sing Sing and some shit with fucking motorcycle mania out here next to me over here. And that's it. That's fucking where we ended, motherfucker. I'm good to go. I said what I had to say. Next week I'm gonna be fucking 53.

I hope you join me at the South Point. I don't give a fuck if you do or don't. Lee's gonna be there. Esther Coo's gonna be there. Larry Anderson's gonna be there. The dudes with the best fucking weed in town are gonna fucking be there. They were on vice.

I mean, you know, my man, the Death Stars might show up. We got some shit cracker lacking in Vegas Friday and Saturday night. Then the Wednesday after that, if you're local, I really need you. I need you in the main room at the comedy store February 24th, guys. I need you in there to support.

I got Netflix coming out. I got a couple people coming out and I gotta let them know that you guys want me to have a special. This is it. I don't even know what fucking material I'm doing that night or whatever. But that's it. I love you, motherfuckers.

I'm happy that my man, Mike Powell called in. That was great. Yeah, it was just a different kind of week. We're finally settling into the office. I feel a little bit more comfortable, guys. So thank you for taking the ride. I know the Rake and Ella podcast was weird and there was another one there that was weird,

but please, you know, we've been doing this for four years. I always knew we'd fucking come up on top cock suckers. We got Lee Syat in the home. You always gotta have a Jew around. And that's it, motherfuckers. I want to give a shout out to Onit, Onit.com for all the great supplements they have, especially their flagship, Alpha Brain,

which is my backbone, you understand me? If you see them a little bots and fucked up and going off tune, it's because I haven't had my fucking Alpha Brain. I'm a big hem force guy. I'm a big shroom tech guy, whether it's a sport or the immune. I listen, I just believe in fucking Onit.

So do me a favor, go to Onit.com right now and press in. Church and get 10% off your first order. Deliver it to your door. We ain't fucking around, all right? I also want to give out shout outs to ringnaturebox.com. Club W.

Yep, Blue Apron. Blue Apron. All our sponsors, Me Undies during the week. You know, we love you motherfuckers too. And thank you guys to listen to the podcast this week. We'll be back Monday night and Wednesday night next week. Okay, so there you have it. And if you want the last bit of Dicky Syed,

I had him on Left in Neutral with Johnny Rock yesterday. He was all fucked up yesterday too. All right, I love you guys, stay black. Have a great weekend, be safe. I love you motherfuckers.