Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #365 - Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt with Cassius Morris

Episode Date: March 24, 2016

Cassius Morris, 17 year old host of the Cassius Morris show podcast and photographer joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt via Skype. This podcast is brought to you by: Tracker - Go to Thetracker.com and use code word "church" for 40% off of your first Tracker Product.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a discount at checkout.   Naturebox.com - Go to Naturebox.com/joey for 50% off of your first box.   Recorded live on 03/23/2016.
  

This show is brought to you by tracker. That's tracker. Never lose anything again with tracker Listeners to this show get a special discount of 40% off of your first tracker device. This isn't an offer everywhere It's only for our listeners go to the tracker comm and enter promo code church to get 40% off of your first tracker device That's the tracker comm and use promo code church Shows also brought to you by the wonderful people at nature box say goodbye to weird and mystery ingredients and start snacking Confidently with nature box. They have delicious snacks. They're they're very nutritious They're delicious go to nature box comm slash joey to get 50% off of your first box now That's right. Go to nature box comm slash joey to get half off. That's 50% off of your first box now

Shows also brought to you by on it comm use code word church to get 10% off all of their great optimization products like alpha brain New mood shumtech immune and shumtech sport use code word church to get 10% off All school cock suckers Kick that motherfucker Lee kick this horse kick it Lee kick it. This goes back to 1971 While you're moving Here we go oh shit Listen to a rica motherfuckers Zero fucks

Are you fucking kidding me? This is when black people will fucking black people listen to those fucking horns They don't give a fuck. They're fucking white with everything. It's over The church of what's happening now Wednesday the 23rd of March. What's happening you bad motherfuckers? It's myself and my main motherfucker Lee Syat Little blue fucking shirt on I gotta look cute for you all the time Smoking shit. Look at you. You all you need is a little penguin on your shirt I can never I never had like the actual polo shirts. What is that? They made a line in there that I thought of your nature box Are you sick and tired of mystery?

That's Lee's favorite fucking line I can't win. I love mystery ingredients even when I'm trying to be good. So it's like today for lunch I was like, okay, I don't have I tried to do meal prep. I bought like enough food for three days But I didn't have time to go to the store. That's okay I'll go to Denny's and I'll get a salad before I go to work. I Was there for 20 minutes It was a $10 salad and they finally brought it out and it looked like were you there to go? No, I don't need to stay at Denny's. What kind of salad did you get?

I got a grilled chicken salad. Oh, that's all I got and it looked like Like the homeless guy at fun who was begging for money. It was his salad was the salad It was brown. It wasn't even like put together at all It was just like they just threw lettuce and a little bit of avocado and chicken and whatever else in the bowl And I was about to turn around and just eat it and like, you know when you have a lunch And you're just disappointed and it's just crappy and just pissed off But I was like, no, I turned around was like, hey, this is a $10 salad. I don't want any of this So they gave me a refund and I walked over to the Mexican place across the street and I got a

Grilled chicken plate with some beans and rice. I know the rice isn't that was it delicious But the thing that they have over there that you turn me on to in Hollywood that juice place they have over there So I had Something with like orange strawberry papaya fucking honey yogurt. It was delicious. Oh, I almost went to the juice place So good, I almost went to the juice place in Hollywood whenever I go give a blood test. That's my reward Oh, yeah, you have that's I go to the juice place and I got a chicken salad on wheat with the fucking avocado Delicious there the nutrition. I've been going to that fucking place for 20 years. You know that they started out on vine No, yes, they started out on fucking vine in a little parking lot

It was like the valet shack for a parking lot. That's what they started Did they even have a place to sit down? No, you they had tables outside like little boots outside I love that you parked it had no It had no ambiance, but it didn't have ambiance Gave it ambiance was that it didn't have ambiance, right? They were all Spanish women They made four or five sandwiches then and 20 million juices and I'd go in there for the honey milk and strawberry They have so many the red the pink cloud Okay, strawberry milk and a dash of honey. They have a lot of different juices there

You know, she goes back to the holidays for a month or two girls have been running that store For 20 years in the same employees same chick same owner. It's it's a phenomenal place When they started building the mall on vine on whatever that fucking street is on there They had a move and they were forced to move So what they did was they put up signs saying that we're getting forced to move they give us an settlement We'd like to find the place close by And like 20 places reached out They gave them like a good rent just to have them in there because it's been a neighborhood staple for 20 years

That's amazing. They were probably there 10 years before I got there and I've been going there for 20 I've been going there for 19 So I discovered them like the third day in fucking Hollywood And it's great in Hollywood. It seems like a lot of places raise their prices just because it's so expensive to be here There are juices for dollars. It's 850 for the sandwich and the fucking juice They have a lunchtime special in a bag of chips. I never get the chips because I'm full From the chicken salad on home grain with the fucking fresh avocado and the and then juice by the way

They always give you the whole picture. They give you the whole blender. Okay, so you have two fucking things These are real people. These aren't these fucking Gentile corporate with and they cut the fruit in front of you. You see that This isn't like fucking, you know, those frozen things that but yeah Jamba juice whatever the fuck that is that nuclear flute that you think you're eating now healthy and it's just fucking sugar Do you ever do the uh, like the Mexican fruit stands on the side of the road where they cut it up always? Always I go in and I get the fruit, but you can't let them put the chilies I can't do it. I tell them not to put it in. I don't like the white stuff But if you're in a bind and you're traveling around LA and you're hungry just to hold you over a bag of fruit

From those things before dollars and they chop it up for you. It's all fresh I had them do because it like like the mango because they do mango fucking delicious But they have like like lime juice and all the pepper and stuff that I don't like so I had them do orange and pineapple I just had that I was eating that all that was delicious people say, you know, it's got the fruit that the sugar You know what man? I lost a lot of fucking I'm waiting fruit. So Whatever whatever, you know, but I'm happy. It's better than the last the last fucking nine days have been death Like it went from being super busy guys. I don't know. See a lot of people I have to describe what we go through sometime It went from me leaving the house. You remember like every day for two weeks left the house at nine

8 30 7 15 to go to a 10 o'clock meeting because you got to leave two hours early in the morning Yeah, at least I usually do is I have like a protein shake I get in the car and I get the fuck out of dodge I get over the hill I get down and I eat breakfast and then I go to my meeting. So you know I'm saying like I But next week I have meetings at four and shit like that The last nine days have been death So I've been writing but no comedy writing

But I do little things. You know I'm saying like I sent my first fucking Thing to Gordon So at least I got one of the chapters out of the way which I've been going over Now I'm writing the intro to the fucking book. So little by little we're putting this book together now It's coming together I don't have a lot of dates in the summer a lot of people mad at me because I'm not going on a lot of places I usually go I had to cut my schedule in half this year guys

Because I have a lot of things going on here plus. I wanted to keep working on the podcast We got the new studio. So please understand me that these come around once 2017 I will do all those cities. I'm not doing this year. Whether it's Minneapolis or Or uh, Utah or it'll be a better show too. Don't you think it'll be a better show? Oh, listen, man I hate what they do because they want to book every 12 to 11 months. I can't write that fast And lately it's been like, you know, you go into fucking writing slumps And what happens is it's like being a salesman. Okay, and when you

When you're a salesman, I come talk to Lee. All right. So if I talk to 10 people Okay And I'm selling vacuums. Okay. Okay one person might buy that day but Three people are going to buy but they got to talk to the significant other Or they're waiting for a check or they're waiting for the tax return or they're you know what I'm saying? So you make these sales now. You just follow up with them Tell them about your deals and your specials. The same thing happens when you write comedy

You have 15 or 16 things you're throwing out there You know and you wait till one of them bites and then you write following them And meanwhile you're still trying different bits and shit's not working So you're just getting rid of stuff and then you visit it again in some night. It's a Thursday night I just get to town. Let me visit it again. And if it doesn't work in front of a real crowd I get the fuck rid of it lately. I've been getting rid of everything So eventually I'm gonna get three bits I'm gonna bite into and then I build an hour and then it becomes excitement again

You said for the last two weeks you haven't really been doing any comedy writing Are you actively not doing that or do you not have anything you want to write writing? No, I've been not comedy writing and the sense of taking a joke and writing it out. Okay comedy writing in the sense of Getting up at five like I did today before I had to leave at seven and writing for two hours Just little notes and this morning I got some good shit You know, I'm trying to get stuff that's personal to me when I talk about topical shit I don't like it no more. I rather talk about personal shit to me and how I learned the thing from and we all laugh So that's what I'm trying to put together. So you just have little little fires

And all of a sudden one of them really catches fire and one of another catches fire And all of a sudden you go from having nothing to having 40 minutes And now you elaborate and I'm more you put it out there on the road and it grows into something Okay, that's in short So that's what usually happens. Right. It's just you just keep putting stuff out there And all of a sudden one catches a bigger fire than the other one the other one's good but not what you think it would be and then you Twisted around and you bring it out there again

And that's why I try to go to flappers in the comedy store and then in the in the ha ha When I'm home just uh last night. I fucking Passed the fuck out. So Yeah, you didn't oh my god. I was wiped out yesterday Is it because you like sometimes we'll go to a show and you'll tell me after that Oh, I didn't think that was that great even though from me sitting in the back You were getting laughs and it seemed like it was going well So when you say like if something works, it doesn't work

Is it based on just what you think because you can get laughs and think you have a terrible I know I know what I'm listening for. I know exactly what I'm listening for. Is it the sound of the laugh? It's something about the laugh It's a weird laugh. It's got to be a little shocking and then laughing at it because it happened to them I love that kind like that's why a lot of specials are so disappointing for me Is because I'll I'll laugh I'll giggle But there's like there's one I just showed Paula It's uh, I think it's bill Burr's first or second It's it's the orange one in the background hilarious where it's just you don't stop you don't stop like hysterically laughing hysterical

It's like a machine gun. Yep, and that's and that's what I like so much about about your sets and and comics but it's just Even though you do stories That's why I like the store sometimes and you're like the one person that I enjoy the store for Because otherwise I prefer an hour and I still like you for an hour But there's something about because with 20 minutes you usually just go crazy. I go crazy. I fucking love it I look at listen if I do 45 minutes and I have a stroke The next day you really you can't do it

Not like that for 45 not to stay on them and stay on top of them like that that's tough the store because I got my ass kicked so much in there I learned that when you go up at the store, you got to go up with both guns So that's where that comes from like my fear Fear is a fucking do you know that at 53 this morning? I was stalling to drive down to draw blood Like I kept talking to my mom. I was like, don't you have to leave?

Is this the same appointment that you've had for like two months? Yeah for six weeks Every week you were like, oh, I can't do it once I get in there It's cool. Like he's fucking cool as shit. We talk. He talks me He told me to stop at the airport in Chicago where to go and get a fucking Hot beef sandwich at this good one at the airport in Chicago Your doctor's telling you where to get a hot beef. Oh, yeah, he's a big motherfucker. He's a badass dude and then You know, I went down and whenever I get blood taken out

This little obstacles I put in front of myself every week. Okay, so I have a notebook And I have monday through there through sunday and then I have my schedule But on the upper right hand side in that little corner of that little box. I have my obstacles for the week Shit, but I fucking hate doing what I gotta do Like sitting down and writing like going and giving blood like Calling somebody who owes me money All that type of shit goes in that box in the top How many boxes do you have on your on your book in your notebook?

Like each page like how many little sections do you have? I have just a section of monday through friday Okay, and then like the first thing on the goal sheet is right two hours a day And then you'll have any appointments from nine to 12 early and then usually I just put bjj 12 o'clock Just because if they nothing going on i'm going to bjj And then I usually have a one o'clock or a 330 phone call And then I'll put eight o'clock the podcast 10 30 comedy store anything that has a comedy thing I put an asterisk next to the day

Why what is that when I wake up in the morning? I want to remember i'm doing a set that night. I'm getting old So that means I have a set so at the end there'll be a count how many sets I have And then on the upper right hand side right there in every notebook there's a little box And the letters there sometimes you put I put the calls I have to make But now what i'm doing is i'm putting the calls to the day So I don't fuck around I used to put calls and just go I got to call Lee I got to call sarah. I got to call marty. I got to call jimmy. I got to call tea. I got to call me I got to call johnny. No no no now I put them to the day. I'm calling them

So there's no misunderstandings. I have a phone call schedule. I have a phone call schedule So you have to even have a fucking phone call schedule. I'm a comic, but i'm a salesman And i'm representing myself because this is the only way to fucking do it You know cash is morris is calling in today, right and there's nobody in this planet. I admire more than this young man Because what he's doing at his age People listen to the podcast. I'm not here to insult nobody Ain't nobody doing dick like this fucking young man and he's been doing it for you like I think six years Okay, and he's getting the education of a fucking lifetime. He's getting lifetime education

Before he's 18 years old And I was telling my agent the other day because it's empty double late time Right in large madness. Okay. I don't know if I ever told you guys this. Let me tell you how crazy I've been all my life. Okay So I got involved in basketball at the age of seventh grade sixth grade. I was fucking horrifically bad The first time I did seventh grade basketball I went we went oh and nine. I was terrible terrible terrible And I was so embarrassed from seeing so bad and from getting left back in the seventh grade that besides karate I dedicated myself to basketball

And I wanted to turn that program around So the second seventh grade year we went like four and three. All right my dummy year when I made my comeback I know I know I don't give a fuck. Hey, I'm a fucking moron. It happens and you accept it for one of these Hey, you were getting pussy in seventh grade. I didn't get no I didn't get pussy. I was dry humping it That's what's sad. I got left back on the fucking dry humping a bitch to a pair of fucking pants. That's what's embarrassing We're all fucking jerks. I'm the king of the fucking Jerk was the best at that age So I get left back so now that year I go four and three But I get I fall in love with fucking basketball

Right, so they tell me to get really good. You have to concentrate your training and go to basketball camps. Okay So one of the first basketball camps I go to is Willis Reed Excuse me, and when I go to Willis Reed basketball camp I meet a coach there I forget what his fucking name was he was from like a high school How old are you so you were in the seventh grade still or the seventh grade going into the eighth grade when I cough Why do you close your eyes? Do you think I'm gonna spin your eyeballs or something? What's wrong? I didn't even know I did that so

I meet this guy and he's telling me all the stings that when you go to camps You have to be ready because college coaches come and they give seminars and they talk to people But in reality, I always knew that if you're under a junior in college, they can't talk in high school They can't talk to you to get the NCAA violations for a coach to talk to you if you're a junior or an under Oh, even if even though you're fucking killing in the eighth grade I can't really say much. I come up to you and say good game You have a future son, you know I'm saying and keep you in mind But I can't come and start fucking recruiting you

That's against NCAA violence. We came and talked about recruitment about going to your school or nothing That's crazy. I didn't know that so I my second basketball camp which was booze basketball camp I met a coach by the name of tom pendis. I forget where the fuck he was then now. I think he's in texas or he may have retired But tom pendis I became a pen pal with I would humiliate I would write him letters until he turned purple come see me I'm tearing it up in the eighth grade. I wasn't doing dick. You know I'm saying but in my mind I was johnny fucking united's But I started doing this to every coach every time I go to a camp I get coaches fucking whatever and I started sending them

Propaganda whether it was bill foster from duke at the time where it was The other guy from north carolina. Take us through a letter like what would the letter sound like? Good morning coach I hope you're having a great day. My name is joey Diaz. I'm an eighth grader from north bergen new jersey and basketball is my life I just want to tell you I admire your fucking team I think he got screwed when you played against mississippi in the finals. You personalize it. Oh, fuck. Yeah, you know They ain't gonna give me no love I I admire to be like this player or this player on your team

I want to know what your workout was and if you send me a workout I want you to know i'm gonna do it every fucking day till I turn purple And in two years from now, I'll be writing you another letter to come look at one of the best players in new jersey Thank you for your time sincerely jose Diaz And I write my address and within a week and a half I get a fucking package from that college With all their basketball drills How did who told you to do this just one coach Oh, so there's no penders. He told you to do so I started sending so the coach from duke now

Krozewski, I know that motherfuckers as he was at army In 78 jack That's how long I used to write that motherfucker letters In fact when they played in Denver in 91 or something with little hurley I went to the fucking game and he gave me a hug. He's still remember me krozewski. This is fucking crazy We have to go and see when he's are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me dog? I knew all those dudes because I wrote them letters Until the mailman wouldn't deliver them no more. I didn't give a fuck when I was a kid. I was a savage

So that me being a comic never developed at a young age Me wanting to do tv never was a young age me being a salesman savage Was me at a young age like I already had that savvy mind that you had to reach out to people and let them know What the fuck was crack a lack of Jesus and then so how many packets did you get like 10 or 12 or? I would send them Once I sent them to college coaches that I knew Then I just started sending them to fucking college coaches everywhere

And we in ucla to usc any basketball program. I had watched on television north carolina state north carolina charlotte University of new mexico was a great college then they had cheese Cheese johnson who covered fucking larry bird and colleges shit. He was one of my counselors and camp You know, I just wrote letters to colleges and would you do this with like your friends? Or were you doing it by yourself by myself at night? Where? In my work or no, I was doing it in my fucking bedroom. Oh, so it was like actual work There was like a drill for oh, where was I doing the drills? Yeah at both places

I was doing because they had drills that you did Some drills I did on the basketball court like layup drills and shooting drills and sprint drills and defense drills But some drills I did at home, which was just like sit-ups or push-ups Or jumping as high as I could for 30 minutes Or sitting against the wall with a chair to get my defensive Legs and and whatever to get your legs strong. I did everything I fucking could man Which would which would be worse for you? Do you think? Taking away comedy now or taking away basketball then

Oh, it was two different things because I make a living from comedy. Okay, that's true But it just seems like you were like taking basketball away from me then was one of the biggest disappointments of my life. I never really recovered from that I could tell because when I watch Basketball I still get kind of emotional especially NCAA ball I told you what happened the other night when the NCAA came on And I was watching this my wife was sitting there. My daughter was in the kitchen And I was like, you know

I wish That she gets it at an early age I wish that she got it like I got it But I wish that she got To me Being a professional basketball player is great and being a professional football player is great But jesus christ, nothing gets my dick harder than the NCAA championship in any sport Because you're playing

For you. I mean, yeah after a while you're playing to get drafted But when you talk to like you ever watch the 30 for 30 with the NCAA guys from north Carolina state And they all get together for a drink. Oh, no, I I never got into college basketball, but it sounds great College basketball college athletics, man is something and now they're trying to tax and all this shit, but You got to understand the entertainment. It brought the people and it brings the like to me It gave me something it gave me a belief It gave me a belief that I could do something good enough and get a scholarship to go to one of these colleges That's the bottom fucking line

If you really want to go to college and you want to fucking scholarship You know This things you have to do whether you want to be a football player or a basketball player or whatever when I saw Michael corn Michael corn was a kid from jersey city It was an irish kid who went to a school called tutson catholic And he was six foot seven And he was six foot seven and he was white and he was poor

He never had a father and he had a mother who worked with a diner to support him And like in the eighth of his freshman year, he hurt his knee and he had a way of bracelet a brace in high school And he would play basketball basketball basketball and the braces he played so much basketball through the braces Started going into his skin But it didn't matter he took tutson catholic to a fucking final The finals him and a kid named jimmy spinarco jimmy spinarco ended up going a duke And this motherfucker ended up going north carolina On no way. Okay. So way before the hurlies from jersey city went to duke

The kids who opened up that connection was a kid by the name of jimmy spinarco From hudson catholic now in jersey city, you had power houses hudson catholic And st. Anthony's st. Anthony's is the one you see every year in the high school bobby hurley You know bobby hurley and frank yedga the same person If you know anything they both hustle they both fucking died for what they did It's amazing. So uh What the fuck are we talking about here college basketball college basketball? So i'm saying to me one of the greatest things

One of the first things i ever saw That let me know i could do something with my life was on a monday night An nc double-a finals with marquette played north carolina And in that in that bracket in that bracket Something happened to one of the forwards from north carolina and michael corn had to fill it In the final four my friend, which is one of the biggest platforms in the united states year after year Yeah, it has to be one of the biggest sporting events this white motherfucker irish kid from jersey skit city scored 31 points as a freshman

But not only that the guy who was covering him was glenn gondrzak Who went on to play for the new york nick's a white dude six foot four forward Who always had a cover like julia serving and shit like this? This guy was a defensive white savage from boulder years later. He tried to shoot himself in the heart with a 22 That's a complete different story. Jesus christ and he missed how the fuck you've been playing basketball for 20 years Sinking 20 footers and all of a sudden you try to shoot yourself in the heart with a 22 and you miss What the fuck what what the fuck goes on here you said But to make a long story short this white irish motherfucker scored 30 something points

As a replacement as a replacement as a freshman. He was who gets better I'm sitting down on monday night to see what happens It's jerry mcguire's last of the game as a coach for marquette And north carolina has to play him cool. Look it up north carolina marquette. What was the final score? What year was it? Fuck it's gotta be 77 76. Sorry about this guys. My allergies are on fire today. I'm dealing with shit You know, I had to go I'm going to doctor monday at 245 for the nose doctor To figure out if this is allergies. Do I need the surgery?

It's the fucking affrin, you know the affrin's fucking me up completely I think the whole game is on youtube I know what it is Oh, if you want click on the game, but give me the sport got the the score you want the box score? Yeah, the box score was what okay So a 67 59 marquette won marquette won because The coaches it was the coaches last game and they won for him great teams your own whitehead butch lee

Fucking bad motherfuckers out of marquette and they played against north carolina And they beat north carolina, but it didn't matter it didn't matter to me Something happened to me that let me know as a human being at that age. What year was that 77? That's 20 at the age of fucking 14 something happened that night that let me know That I could do something in my life When they said and I'm starting forward For north carolina

Okay, starting forward for north carolina Mike o'coran from jersey city, new jersey. No, they said starting forward from north carolina from jersey city Michael coran I can't tell you I can't tell you I can't I was just overwhelmed like my body broke down Like I was gonna shit my pants like just everything in the world that I knew right there I wanted that for me. I knew that I wanted to be on that stage someday not comedy wise

And that is a television guy not even close just In the finals of the nc double-a So when you were writing those letters, you believed I fucking believe I started when I saw that I believed that I could get out of my situation Which wasn't at that time wasn't a bad situation But I believe that I could get myself into north carolina That I didn't have to be a burden on my mother. I really fucking believe that guys

Forgive me if you said it But do you know michael coran or just the fact that he was from jersey city after years later? I met him and explained to him what had happened. He looked at me and like fucking swelled up because he knew You know, he didn't have a father growing up You know, uh, his mother worked at a fucking restaurant as a waitress And she saved her tips to buy him fucking in those days. It wasn't nike sneakers. It was a sneaker by the name of ponies So if you didn't have julius erving's limousines for the feet You had to have ponies do they have that game on youtube?

Yeah, put the beginning real quick to see if they say it Before my man calls in would it be a problem? No, well all this just to see if not we'll turn it off But that's that's what gave me that right there Let me knew right there my life that I could do something And that's all I wanted to do at that time. That was it I knew that that's what I fucking wanted to do. No, I think they start at the tip off Do they do the lineup after that or no? No, I do a tip. They don't show the tip off. I'll show you what this fucking guy looked like

He was a skinny white dude With bad fucking skin But look at Adam you could tell this mother fucker was dangerous And look who it is. It's my childhood friend on the phone sabatino Listen, I'm doing a radio show. Can I call you when I get out of here? I'm telling these motherfuckers about michael coran at north carolina when he was a freshman these motherfuckers don't know I'll call you back sabat dabb. I love you And mickey and jackie galoon. Are you for these motherfuckers? Don't know. I'll call you back saps

I love you cocksucker All right, I'll show you who this guy is guy had start this motherfucker You see 31 right there. He was all over the book. Look. You look you're watching He was right there right from the tip. Look at 31 and the baby blew soon on you see 31 That was my idol right there that white dude would fuck you up basketball wise This was a kid from rocky mountain north carolina that black kid Was a bad motherfucker right there. This was a great Walter davis

Fucking walton davis went out to play for the phoenix sons and he was a Looking looking for it. Look at this shit right here cocksuckers Yeah, this is my shit you can turn it off. This was my shit This was my what got my dick card and I didn't stop after this. This was it This was for me like reading Uh Ladies and gentlemen, lennie bruce like it just I nearly I couldn't believe it no more. I couldn't fucking stop But that was my inspiration right there watching that kid

Them say his name from jersey city, new jersey because I was from north bergham right next door At that point, did you know that he was gonna be playing or it was a surprise? He was just watching the game as a fan I found out mid season that there was a kid from jersey city playing I always wondered what had happened to that kid You know when I was a kid I read the papers I delivered the papers and I used to read the paper about these kids from jersey city and spinochle first of all had a 4.0

Average back then like he became like a big time attorney He played for the sixes for like a year, but he was too white and too small You know, he was six foot two. It doesn't happen. We had another kid. His name was jackie galon He was a white kid from the jerseys from west new york, new jersey Which is all cuban, but he was a white dude. He's he went to see career He went to school. It really saw is a white this school memorial high school Jackie galon was another bad motherfucker who was six foot one who was claimed to fame was playing basketball on national tv on a hit acid He ended up going to south carolina

He did not play. Yes. He did but he this little white scrawny dude from memorial ate up Butch lee that black dude from marquette. Yeah, he ate him up on national television And that was his claim to fame whenever I'd see jack galon. He's a dog. You know me I ate up fucking butch lee on the actual tv He didn't go making the pros because he was too short and shit But you didn't see there was two dribblers. I remember growing up a Motherfucking pistol peep marovitch and b jackie galon when I say dribble. I mean, you know, no, I know you mean dribble the ball

What are you giggling for like a moron because he played an nba game or a call it whatever it is on acid That was his claim But he never told nobody like the baseball player only the fucking inside is new like we knew his kids that that was Because he'd always be on acid on the court There he is There he is There's shit. What's up? Oh shit. Look at you What's happening guys? What's up cash is morris. I love the fucking room

Thanks, man. I kiss all over the place the church. Oh, shit. There's my dog. What's going on in your world? Uh, man, nothing nothing but good stuff lately. Uh, it's been wonderful. How about you same shit here? Just watching you doing stuff. So what are you doing? over at rick bronson's Um, I met rick just over a year ago now at a burt krischer show and I introduced myself and I asked him to do my podcast We did it next thing you know I was at the club more and more often and uh miss pat actually helped me get a job there So what do you do over there? I'm a door guy and I uh run the sound booth as well

Do you really how many nights a week? Uh, about three or four nights a week and I get a lot of weekends. I've got to work with arie sam trippley burt. It's been beautiful Fuck if I had a war if I didn't have a war and I'd be up there Where you smoking bazookas the whole fucking thing, you know what i'm saying corrupt Anytime we actually we have a new picture of you in the club now. I've been waiting for you to come up here Good. How's your family doing? They're doing great. How's your sister? She's good. She's uh 9th 10th grade something like that. Just had her birthday my mother's birthdays today What so what'd you guys do today? You go to like olive garden or something like that? Yeah extra bread sticks, you know

All right So what contents have you been going to lately? I've been to so many and I was watching the periscope that you guys were doing earlier obviously about black Sabbath I just saw them twice and when I said to you that Iomi and Ozzy almost made me like emotional a couple times. I wasn't joking. I mean It's it was absolutely incredible. I only did like a 10 minute solo during dirty women Couldn't believe it. I was at slayer alice cooper motley crew all your old stuff that you Go to all these shows

Um, a lot of the time I I'll buy a ticket if I'm a huge fan Otherwise, they'll just get a press pass and they'll just send me in there through the back with a little pass and a ticket So I can stay in there and I've been dabbling with the photography. So they've been letting me in based on though How do you get the press pass? It's not like they're handing them out I don't know. I mean I just applied and they I think that there's somebody at the company It's it's the the number one concert company in Canada They just decided to give me a shot luckily and they they obviously have taken a liking to me which I'm very grateful for So, I mean you you always need that one person, especially when you're in a position like mine on the come-up

That will you know give you that shot Cash is where do you get this? thing that you have Do you get it from your mom? Do you get it from your dad? I mean You're way ahead of the fucking curve. You're way ahead of the curve What what you're doing now? Listen to how much of a loser I am. I was doing a 30. I was a sound guy at a fucking comedy club Checking IDs and then I got promoted to the bar back

Right. You're doing it at how old? 17 now and you're going to college and everything you have plans to go to college I mean, what are you doing at some point? I'll take a couple courses. Yeah, definitely You're not going right after high school. No, no, you're taking a year off Yeah, definitely. I'm proud of you. That's a good choice right there number one. What made you decide on that? I mean it happened recently I just figured that instead of sitting in a classroom talking to people about running a soundboard talking to people about photography I would actually benefit more from doing photography and running a soundboard and running a light show

And you know making these connections in the real world, you know, not sitting in a class Talking about podcasts and you know with a shitty little computer actually, you know Doing these things and putting myself into position where I can get employed for doing these things just based on you know experience Again, where do you fucking get this savvy from your mom your dad? I mean What the fuck are they thinking like this some of the table drooling on themselves like when do you get this kid from? I just I've been inspired. What can I tell you? I was inspired by by you guys I was inspired by corolla and rogan and all that camp and it's just something that when I discovered it

It was something I knew I really wanted to do Now when you told them about the no college, was there any resentment? Was there any anger? Was there any yelling? No, not at all. They're fully supportive. Yeah. Jesus christ. You're fucking lucky. God bless you caches Are you coming are you coming here caches? Are you coming to la or what's the plan? I was planning on going there this past summer, but I got a media job up in bc that I had to get to but um I'm actually might be up there in september And I might actually because I just saw sabbath twice and it just wasn't enough I might time it around the hollywood bowl show so you never know a september 19th show, right? Is that the date?

Are there still tickets left? There should be you could probably get some no and I was saying like where you gonna work You should just move here when you're 18 like there's no reason not to you have what six seven years now experience The six seven I think it's coming up on eight now. I mean it's it's been pretty crazy But that's definitely the plan. I feel like la's just kind of calling my name at this point I'm just waiting for the right circumstances, you know, what is the what is in your sights right now? What are you looking to do right now cash? It's like

What is it that you want to do if you move tolai? What is the ideal job? I think some form of television or radio hosting I mean definitely if I could take the podcast and take it obviously it probably at this point wouldn't go to this level But take it to a level like corolla's taken it to That would be my dream job definitely and I want to keep pursuing this photography I want to have something on maybe tv I dabble in acting as well

If it's in the entertainment industry, I'm happy basically Good for you, man I mean, do you want to work as serious as a radio host? Would you be willing just to transfer your podcast down here? And bang it out and get some sponsors and really go for it five days a week Interview of musicians and all the stuff you want to do is that what you're looking at right now Yeah, definitely that's the goal the goal for me has always been to start off with the podcast

The podcast is not the end all be all for me It's like a stepping stone into what I want to get to and you brought up serious That's where I would love to see myself I'd love to take the podcast build a listenership so that when I do get on some kind of major platform I have some people with me. So that's not just a brand new show that will have no listeners. I already have some people there Look you're you're way ahead of me even like already, but What I would say man is I I think that's a mistake. I think like the podcast is Is where like you've been doing like you've been doing it

I'm not saying you can't do that other stuff. He can still do the series Yeah, you could still do but just still and give them both two different flavors And maybe make the put guys like me on the podcast That you couldn't be usually put on serious You'll have more of a If you if you're living in la you'll have more available gas and they can be in person and Your podcast will skyrocket when you get here And you're young you're out every night

You know, how many shows do you go to a week? At this point, it's like at least one show a week It's like four or five six shows a month and who was the last show you went to see The last one was slayer and I was up in the photo pit with kerry king up there. Come on. I was what's that come on? It was crazy. I mean, I I feel very very lucky. I don't take any of this for granted You know, I know there's people that would you know rock fans that would kill for this opportunity and I'm one of them Now what about school? What do you do at school now? What time do you have to be in the morning? Uh, you know what I've been uh, actually taken a little hiatus there. I'm looking at online courses and such

I'm just not the kind of guy that can get up at six in the morning and go to And go to something like that that I'm not necessarily interested in however I I am still interested in of course finishing my education and taking it, you know, obviously getting my diploma and stuff So we're looking at a new way around it. I guess you could call it. So this would typically be your senior year, correct Yeah, okay. So you just took the senior year off Sort of like I did Yeah, I took, you know, I found something in august And it filled voids and I said, you know what, uh, as much as it hurts me

I gotta drop out for a little while just to get some wind under my feet And uh, I eventually went back and eventually I got the diploma, but Uh, no, you're doing the right thing then, but if you got a job at six in the morning, you'd get up at six, correct? Of course, absolutely. If serious is calling me at six a.m. Say, hey, we want you down here. I'll be there five a.m And what kind of serious show would you have? Would it be music comedians? Bands everything the whole fucking cabang Yeah, I I see these shows that are kind of Separated into different categories and such and I that doesn't really work with me. I want to talk about

I want to play a nozz song and then I want to play a song by aro smith and then I want to play a song by You know asap rocky or whoever I want to I want to mix it all up and then I want to you know Maybe interview an astronaut and then interview a comic. I just want to do it all I would love to see you like on vh1 or something doing your thing You know, even vh1 is for all the fucks like me. Maybe they should put you on mtv where you fucking belong mtv can put me anywhere they want Yeah, mtv's threatening to go back to music, correct? Well, I think so. I think they are and they should they should they are and whatever the Fuck so I mean you'd be the guy to lead them into the next fucking world

Well, I that's a really nice thing to say. Yeah. No, I listen man. I watch you There's two guys who really know music and my john wolf is good with music Well, the wolf. Yeah, Bobby Sharon's good with music. You're very good with music. Thank you I see that you're at listen man when I was 16 15. I was out I was out going up. I was out every night, you know, and I went to see james brown I went to see the b-52s You know, I went to see pat benatar when most guys would go. You're a fucking fag. How can you go see that? I love the music. I'd go see a spanish band. I'd go. I didn't give a fuck

I just I just wanted to get inspired I remember the first time people would say to him. I can't believe you went to see judas priest. He's gay I didn't give a fuck you think if you saw him sing and do his thing Gendered this it disappeared. I didn't give a fuck what he was. No, of course, but uh You're lucky, man. You live in this fucking life that most people dream of you're not doing drugs. You're not drinking. You're not, you know hurt nobody and uh You're way ahead of the curve my friend I'm I'm trying to stay there and you know the kind words really mean a lot

I mean, I just I couldn't appreciate it more. No, no, no, no. Give me I wanted to really know your review on the last couple shows you've gone to see and uh I could tell by everything sabbath really blew away blew you away Absolutely. It was it was like the second that curtain dropped. They opened up with their the first song black sabbath And it was just You know ozzy was just seeing those guys. I mean these guys don't have to be there doing this This is why it matters so much to me is that these guys have known each other since they were like what my age back in the 60s And they're up here jumping up and down

In their 60s, you know when he should be at home in the jacuzzi was sharing right now He doesn't have to be here And it's just it's it's i'm so lucky to be able to have my generation and the people that are my age That still enjoy this music get to experience. It's still it's unbelievable. How did uh I hear the music is fucking phenomenal I hear they sound what i've seen on youtube what i've watched the shows from chicago people have been posting shows And just what i've seen on youtube is fucking mind boggling

The sound the sound is just to the t and right now i gotta be honest with you i'm on the fence Right now because i always feel like i'm too old to be at one of those shows But at the same time i'm not fucking dead yet And i'm the type of guy that i've been looking online. I'll buy i'll pay for those fucking tickets Well, you don't have to stand in the mosh pit and like like go crazy, but you couldn't go and enjoy yourself. Listen Exactly you Someday cash is more is gonna be 50

And he's gonna think of this story And i don't know cash is a nice kid. He's he's up every day. He's posting. He's doing podcasts. He's interviewing people He loves kiss and he goes after him like a fucking savage You know, i read that you're at the hotel and you heard azir at the hotel I mean you don't stop crazy. That's relentless. You're like the fucking kid from uh that movie You like that kid living that fucking dream one minute. He's in san diego Interviewing the school newspaper and the next minute. He's on the road with fucking led zeppelin and shit, uh Whatever the fucking guys almost famous almost famous

But at the same time you're seeing the you know when i was your age i saw sabbath for the first time In their prime too 19 no, they were done Oh, really? They were done. They were done technical ecstasy tour or something. No never say die Yeah, it started to go downhill I had been hearing about this band. I had probably three of two of their albums. I had paranoid I had uh

Sabotage And I had bought master reality, but I can't lie to you. It was still a little too dark for uncle joey Didn't want to go into the voyages yet. I didn't want to go into the voyages yet And they must have been I went over with like three kids from high school But when I got over to the garden They must have been I must have counted 40 kids from my high school Yeah, and it was my seeing these my everybody was fucked up. We were all on masculine and you know, we had met at five o'clock and smoked 40 joints and

And you know 24 Budweiser. Yeah all my night in those days. It was nips. I wasn't a big drink I would get dizzy and pass out So I had to like cop my beers. I'd buy an eight pack but drink four like three and a half and dump the other ones And shit, but I just remember going to watch the first band. It was van halen And in those days you didn't go to watch the motherfucking opening band. You just didn't you just didn't Most people still don't but now people were like van halen and we went And it was this fucking crazy guy this other guy jumping up and down But they got you and then black Sabbath came on and I can't tell you how old at that time my mom was still alive

I was still doing my game. I was having a good time They were just the sound was horrific Ozzy was off key. He was fat as fuck He had the big beard at that point. He was fat as fuck. I don't remember if he had a beard. He was fat as fuck He was sloppy. He was drunk I owe me was angered about something but the The the tire the night was you know like And I kind of remember then somebody reminded me seeing bill wards snorting off the drums

Oh, man, I had never saw that and how he's on like after that years later somebody I think timmy mentioned it to me He goes remember bills wards snorting off and I still remember why I was I wasn't aside But by the fourth song you would hear him like guitar things going wrong like e and all that shit And you could just tell it was just Ozzy wasn't happy. I think they sang junior's eyes. They didn't like it He goes, this is a fucking jazz song Of some shit, you know, it was just what did that do to you as a fan? Like I'm sucking so bad. It wasn't that they suck so bad

Like I thought I'll tell you who sucked real bad when I saw him the first time aerospace Like I expected something out of this world And three junkies came out with two other guys and they just were going through it was like a high school band like Like you just heard different things The highlight was when joe perry broke the guitar and people went crazy And that was it like And I went to see ted was great. That was my first concert ted I went to see the stones at your age for uh, the some girls tour. They were unbelievable far and open for them

They were unbelievable. I had gone to see the new barbarians Which were the stones without make jagged They were phenomenal great experience all around And all of a sudden I go see black sabbath Who I had heard so much about like I said, I had three of their albums I really didn't know the whole catalog and they were mediocre Right But it didn't matter I went home and bought never say die

And I bought technical ecstasy And I bought sabbath bloody sabbath and now And they took me out of a dark place like when I think of black sabbath Like when I play sabbath bloody sabbath on a monday morning, that means i'm going to war bates this week Like that's just that that's it like there's no looking at a smile Yeah, it's a big dick in a smile jack when I put sabbath bloody sabbath on on a monday morning That means you better be on your best behavior You better get the knife ready because that's what that means you're going to war

And you're not sick of any of these songs by them none of these songs Did you see my excitement tonight when I was listening to children of the grave and fairies wear boots Group was just as exciting for me. So when I see cash is Saying that he was at a fucking hotel and he heard fucking mazzi's voice Jesus christ, what do you think I fucking feel like I feel like an asshole I felt like an asshole because it turned out he was sick that day and he actually canceled the show So I didn't want to bother him, but it was crazy though. Did they redo the show there? They did they did a month later. They came back. I went I drove three hours to Calgary to see the one show

Saw the other show here Both were worth it and you mentioned children children of the grave. I will tell you that's the best song That's the song to see if you're going to see them Don't miss that one because they got fireworks. Ozzy's jumping up and down. It's it's insane He's jumping up and down He gets on his hands and knees. He's bowing to the audience the guy's like 70 You know It does something. He does it. It really does. I thought I I'm like, I'm like, I'm not gonna go see that old man fest

And I'm like, wait a second. They carried me through the darkest Times of my fucking life. How many are they gonna go pay my fucking respects? You know, I mean it's acid I did the black Sabbath sabotage to bring me back from You know, uh Old man fest. What are the songs that they play? I thought really I'm not gonna lie to you What are the songs I looked up their set list It is fucking Phenomenal

He's a mad nerd for music get the set list lead 2016 black saboteur set list Let's go over it with cashers because this is my little fucking brother. Who knows what's crack I got more trust in you cashers than half these fucking music grays. They don't know dick I want to give a shout out to my main man Mike at the jewelry store in union city, new jersey Saying not to forget fucking uh, mandy johnson and uh, david rivers and uh, Nah, nah, nah, we had a bunch of nicky gallus and We had a ton of fucking players and hq and jc. What the fuck hq like a man

Cash is morris. You see you got new chucks. What do you got up there in the calgary? You got some stars of death. What do you got stars of death? We got numbers. We got hash Good good good, but you got everything. We're all set. But you're a nice boy. You don't know nothing You don't do nothing. You haven't talked to nobody in years I don't play games, man. I I just I I do what I gotta do and uh, I stay in my lane I try not to bother anybody like you said and I do what I can I do it How are your friends? How come your friends ain't there with long ham? They come around they're good. They're good. I actually um, it's funny because there are a lot of them are rock and metal fans

So I get to be like, yeah, this is my camera guy. Let them backstage and they'll let the let them back into the tour bus And stuff. It's it's been great. I get to give way Concert tickets all the time to my buddies, you know, they love it. Let me ask you this what albums they listen to this week What have you been listening to since monday talk to me? Oh, man, let me tell you Sabbath bloody Sabbath And the first time I heard this was on your show when you played a national acrobat. You pushed me over the edge I've been listening to that. I don't know every day if you think that you know what ash national acrobat did to me Are you fucking kidding me?

Yeah, the world that hides the universal secret of the time. Yeah, are you fucking kidding me? Who writes that shit? Who writes that? What did you drink to write that? You just don't get up in the morning and say I am the world that hides the universal secret Of all time. You just don't come up with geyser was a madman. Oh my god. Oh my god Killing yourself to live I'm a sabotage guy too dog Megamanian I almost jumped off a building the thrill of it all when I put the thrill of it all on That means not only am I going to war but I'm stabbing somebody. I got the knife

I got the fucking windex. I got everything stabbing everybody. No, I was stabbing everybody hit me with the setlist All right from the beginning read it all down here for your uncle joey, right? So this is for the one at Madison square garden February 27th So they open with black Sabbath Fairies wear boots damn we had that on tonight Uh right out of the bat after forever. Oh, shit. Have you ever thought about your soul? And it be saved or perhaps you think that when you were dead

You just stay in the grave. Come on now. What else we got into the void. Jesus Christ. Oh my god Into the void. I'm gonna have to bring a gun there and just shoot myself in the eyeball Why they're doing it for the void just to end it just like a gentleman. Let's go home after that Well, you can't go home after that because then there's snow blind. What oh, Jesus Christ Yep, and then they go right into war pigs. All right And then behind the wall of sleep joe joe good. Did you get that up there behind the wall everything got everything come on I couldn't believe it and I don't know what this means but with rasp intro if you know what that is The geyser butler base. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. What else?

N. I. B. All right. What else with basically intro. Oh, shit Uh hand of doom Yeah Now that one changed my life. That one changed my life too The lyrics on that one especially when you're tripping never mind when they're like when you're just talking to your friends and giggling It's when you put it on and you're getting home from a long night and you think you're down from the acid And you put that arm on and you're done the lights You don't know who shows up right next to you start asking a creepy question

What else is on there? Uh rat salad. Oh, Jesus Christ with a drum solo the jesus christ It was good. It was no very good. And then there's iron man dirty woman And children of the grave and then the encore was paranoid Let me tell you some what's the third. What's uh, do the last five again? Okay, including the encore. No, no Just the last five from the top right now from the top right there children of the grave. Yeah Dirty woman. Yeah iron man. Let me tell you something And then the guitar solo on dirty women

Tell these motherfuckers how doesn't he have four missing fingers the top the tips Oh, yeah, he had a he cut them off in a sheet metal axon On his last day There you go His last day ever what did he do? He turned the chords upside down. He did something He did something jimmy hendronix. He put bass chords on a guitar to give it a thicker sound It's just this is the type of shit that you don't know But when a guy like me thinks about it

It thinks how fucking ignorant I am but this guy said, you know what wait a second What kind of shit can I put on this to create my own sound so I don't sound like everybody else You know as as caches and I know when I hear ace freely I know it's motherfucking ace freely. Oh, yeah, he's a badass. What are you here for fucking tony iomi? I know it's iomi and when I hear gilmore, I know it's fucking david gilmore Because that's what they did They devised their own sound when I hear clapton. I know what type that I know it when I hear keith richards. I know it They are who they are because when I hear stevie vie

What tours are you looking to come to town? What are you looking at? What shows are you fucking hoping to come in so you could rock them out? Who's coming up and I want to see kiss again. It's been a while man, but I the number one I want to see I mean, I honestly I can't even ask for anything. I mean, I've seen everything that I've wanted to see I've seen everybody there is. I mean once you see azi two days in a row. It's all over. Where are you going to go from there? I love your attitude I love you. I love your attitude. Who's coming up there the next couple weeks. I know that there's some Who stevie vie he put together a band that's smoking

Really? I didn't hear about it yet somebody like those two guitar guys and a badass singer Babe man, I'll tell you who's on the road. You should go see him just out of respect because I know you appreciate this shit band company and joe wash I heard you talking about that saying that was going to be a great show Listen that could go two ways that could be like a ringo star in friends reunion Which you want to just commit suicide? That's where they invented the punch that jim jones drank at the island was another ringo star concert they're like listen we got to make some suicide juice and get it to ringo Finally so fucking uh

But it could also be like listen. I know bad company Is going to knock your pants off Of course, they've got I haven't found them at atomic records, you know desolation angels Bad company bad company is a classic album, but there's one of them burning sky Or the sky is burnt. I but yeah something like that. That's a fucking masterful. That's a great band They were so good. They were on the Led Zeppelin label. They were managed by peter grant A lot of people don't know that or they do know that and they don't give a frenchman's fuck

But if you don't know now you fucking know what you know saying cock suckers That guy was a pimp that guy and the singer from that has a wig He got thrown out the first time for kicking the guy in the mountain. He's a black belt in karate But he was also thought to replace jim morrison when he died Paul rogers was the only replacement they had in mind when jim morrison died He went on to sing with a band called free and then he went on to bad company Who in my world, you know, listen the proof is in the fucking pudding put on the four fucking albums and get back to me, bitch So call me later call me later and shit. You know what i'm saying? Welcome to my world motherfucker

So when we're gonna sing it down here, my brother talked to me tell me about your plans What do we need to put together that we need to put together a go fund me Cassius morris moving party to hollywood and ball lick once you get here over at the rainbow We'll sit you down in lemmy's chair and we'll have some chick licky nuts or whatever That's I mean i'm way ahead of you. I already had that Look at Cassius throwing some fucking heat tonight in the podcast I'll be out there. I'll be out there. Hopefully in september. I want to catch that show at the bowl I uh and I I'd love to see you guys if you guys are around say hello or something

You know man, I'll tell you what I have been on the fence When I get back on sunday, I'm gonna go online and start investigating these tickets I'm gonna try to get some tickets and I'm gonna try to hook up with you there. I think it's time Of course to go. I mean these guys are my childhood. Why not go and pay my last respects I don't give a fuck what they want for a ticket at this point. You know, it's not too bad. No, it's not too bad I have a an account I have on the side that my wife don't even know about nobody knows about It's last year when they would pay me with cash Sometimes they would give me $200 bills. I would put those $200 bills away or $100 bill somebody would give me a 50

I would put that $50 bill away. Well, I looked the other day Jesus I got like 600 bucks in there in 50s. You know what I'm saying? So I'm gonna you're all prepared Yeah, I'm gonna use that for my little black Sabbath stash and Take an uber to the hollywood ball. So I have to walk up that fucking hill Yeah, you know, walking up the hill is fucked up walking down with a hit of acid in me. I walked to your fucking Calgary Walk all the way to canada past the the secret service So what else is going on? Let us know what we're gonna see from Cash just the next few weeks. You're writing a blog. What are you doing? What are you doing? You're writing lots of

Lots of concert reviews. I actually have a black Sabbath sabotage podcast coming up We go track by track through the through the whole album talk about you know, each song Um, I've got iron maiden coming up in just over a week And I'm hoping to get the photo pass for that and just lots of music podcasts and hip-hop too I'm actually a lot of people don't know I'm a huge hip-hop guy. So how far back do you go? Way back. I you know biggie. Noz a z Everybody how great is fucking noz The best I just saw him actually. No, you did not front row and how good was he live?

He was incredible. He came over pointed at me said the world is yours He killed it and it was an outside in a hail storm. I forgot it was hailing You my friend have uh A great future ahead of you. I wish you nothing but great things I sit there and look at your post and I admire you Because I wish I would have found love how you did my life would have been a lot different I wouldn't got tangled up with drugs and the bullshit I would have done what my love was which was what you have on your walls. That was those were my walls

Right there. Those were my walls. I had kiss alive on there. I had fucking the Beatles white album on there I had dark side of the moon on my wall to this day kiss alive I'll tell you I told these guys why I don't listen to it because me and my boy anthony biozano used to listen to it When he died I put the album in his casket and I said the next time we listen to it Is wherever the fuck they send you because wherever you're going. I'll be there cock sucker You know heaven hell purgatory I'll dump fucking in jersey somewhere. I'll be there with that album. So whenever you want to call it My brother, I'm happy you fucking called in tonight. Thank you very much. You're uh

You're an inspiration. You're a bad motherfucker with a great future anything I can do for you Please reach out. Thank you so much uncle joey and thank you to all the church people that have been hitting me up on Twitter and uh online you guys are the best and lee thank you too so much What are you gonna listen to tonight drops a drop it out. What are you doing tonight? What's your schedule look like on a wednesday night? It's nine o'clock over there. So you're in for the night Couple numbers a little bit of metallica some sublime Uh, I got some alice cooper lined up for tonight bit of rush Yeah, I fucking love you kid

I love you my brother keep doing what you're doing. You need something you call us. All right, brother Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you an inspiration, brother Bye. Thank you. That was you guys take care. Thank you. You too my friend What do you think about that lee? That was great and you want to stay in on the fucking weekends and get no sunshine. That's it. No more of that shit No more of that shit. No more. That's it. I don't care. We gotta put a fucking hat on What nothing I'm no, I'm just it's it started to hit me during that. I know that was a he's great Are we I hand him on my podcast to talk about his podcasting that kid is a great kid and uh

Jesus, you know, you think the only directions you could go to the kid like that at that age, right? That those are the years those are the years So if you fall in with one dude You know, I stole the car whatever whatever That's it And to see him with That head, you know thinking ahead of the game. He's not being fresh. He's always respectful Well, his dad's a police officer, I believe. Yeah, no, no, no, but they watch him. They watch him

They've given him freedom at the same time To to do what he's wanted to do, you know 30 years ago, you couldn't come home and tell your dad you were dropping out. You're seeing he would smack you in the fucking face Yeah, they would call you a loser make you join the service Oh, my I think it's even newer than that because my mom if I had tried to drop out would never have let me but he I mean He's been doing it. I think since he said the nine or ten. So He has more experience than than I do the most people do

You know Like I was talking about in the beginning of the thing, you know We got into college basketball, you know, because I'm watching this And I was saying to myself, I hope That mercy my daughter Gets it At an early age that this is the route to go that the route to go is in high school to get good grades and Pick a sport or whatever the fuck you want to do play the flute golf

Tennis whatever the fucking is and strive to go to a great college get a great education But the whole thing is to like strive like to make a mark like to leave your name on that college wall to do something You know, I dreamt of that. I didn't give a fuck about the pros. Do you think I want to be a pro basketball player? All I wanted to do was step in that fucking circle And for them to say from north bergen, new jersey had fucking forward joey coco Diaz that that that's it I would have had a heart attack That's it. It wouldn't have mattered my performance It wouldn't have mattered what mattered to me was I got to that circle

I never got to that circle That'll haunt me Tell him fucking and I could tell you 20 excuses The excuses was I was a fucking pussy I gave up I let somebody beat me You know I'm saying and I'm and somewhere unconsciously I told myself I'd never let somebody beat me again, especially when I realized what had happened at that age I didn't comprehend what had happened

I just didn't like it no more That was bullshit. You just don't like something normal You just don't like Something that you've given your heart into that you've run up hills that you you know I used to ride a bike with a basketball between my legs You know me and that kid sabbatino that call, you know me and him been playing boy. He's gonna call the podcast Next week and tell you motherfucker some fucked up fucking stories I'm gonna have him because his mother was my lunch teacher

The lady who gave me sandwiches at the fucking lunch place So anyway, but that's what I want from my daughter. I hope she gets the understanding that You know That's that's what's cool. That's what's fucking cool in my world. That was the coolest fucking thing It wasn't music It wasn't smoking weed. It wasn't You know going to a concert in those days. None of that mattered to me. I like music and everything and I put music

I put Led Zeppelin on while I was practicing basketball But my world was that my whole focus was that To go to a college after I got led back. Do you know what I felt like? A fucking retard only retards get left back Retards get left back if you fucking think about it. You got four quarters to make it happen You know what I'm saying? Because you might be a fucked up. You might be retarded till like january And then wake up out of your fucking coma and score big on the finals in march

And then knock them dead in eight in june and squeeze out of there with a sea and shit Don't fucking watch you for a while. You'll spit out a couple of these your mom will make you watch some dishes But that ain't bad enough like getting fucking left back, dog Nothing stays with you like getting left back. Maybe aides And fucking a tattoo That shit has drilled me since day one then dropping on high school. Are you fucking kidding me? That really shunned my fucking ego that destroyed my insides dog Quit in high school in those days to me was what losers did

He didn't quit a fucking high school who quit high school guys who hang out in the corners and smoke cigarettes and fucking That's who quits high school and that's why it became a guy who had a one smoke three for in those stupid fucking stories But at least I know this going in if I'm all right, let's give some shout outs here chris james 1978 Shea seven roj Andrew nendile up there in nyak new york waiting for me up there in fucking november We're gonna be freezing like two fucking morons Lawn rose and kerb my main man my heart always brother. I got you

Josh shambles gary warden bobby sharon Fucking music and presario and shit down there and fucking austin texas Selling t-shirts and fucking bubblegums. He don't give a fuck bobby sharon And donovan salaruzzo this motherfucker Solid up there doing jujitsu somewhere and fucking choking somebody. What do you have to say for yourself? second Uh, I'm I'm doing good, man. I'm just really enjoying this fucking star death

stars Plural cock sucker. What are you doing this weekend? This weekend. Uh, I have to go Paul is having like an event for her law school So I have to go get a suit. I haven't put a suit on forever. Did you buy a suit yet? No, I go I have a suit but it was like going out of super fat So it's like I'm taking in which felt nice. You got to take an end. I had to Once go get a nice new suit I'm still trying to lose weight. I don't care. But you gotta wear a nice suit. Go down to hollywood fucking suit down there

No, this is my suit. But listen to me. You it's old. It's got dust on it's got old jude dust in the closet God, how many times you wear it? You wore it to the fucking scotch odd wedding. You already wore it This is paul's fucking cake. Surprise. I'll get one for her graduation. No, no, forget the graduation. Listen to me I don't have time. It's on thursday. You're not listening to me. What time thursday? The evening. Okay. Listen tomorrow morning, you wake up at 9 0 5 You have a nice breakfast. You get in the fucking car You get on the 134 South and you connect on the 101 south

Gonna be about 20 25 minutes of traffic. No big fucking deal. I got look Who's better than your uncle joey? You know who nobody okay? I'm gonna save you time I'm gonna make you date them all because you ain't doing deck tomorrow in the daytime and and and You're gonna make a world Because you took the time to do this. She's expecting you to wear that scotch odd suit Wait till you were busting there looking like fucking jimmy dilley on 155th street

What are your nuts? Are you fucking nuts? So what jimmy dilley don't worry about jimmy dilley, but the boot you're gonna put you got a yarmulke here with you You got a yarmulke here with you. Of course a jimmy dilley. Listen to me. Listen to me. You bust a yarmulke out tomorrow At that fucking jew school with it's a law school. What do you think goes to law school? I mean, I think it's a Mexican-american law association. There's a fuck. There's gotta be a jew there and you're gonna connect with him Bam, just like that Bam, you're gonna make eye contact and you'll listen the only reason why we use for an envelope Something in this fucking room. We're gonna get an envelope

So listen to what you're gonna do because I love you to death like a nephew if you need to do so I'll give you the deuce because I love you You're gonna get on the 134 at nine o'clock You're gonna get to hollywood about 935 all right You're gonna go to hollywood suit outlet You're gonna park your car right in front of the spot because there's a part there's parking right there You're gonna be there bright and early when those fucking savages open up the gate. Okay. You're a jew. All right. You're gonna do business. What's the matter? We're not what fell something fell. Well, you keep it on the computer like it's the end of the world like i'm gonna fucking

Like i'm on norad or something. I thought I heard something but i'm recall. You didn't hear nothing You're fucking me up my claim authority. I'm setting you up tomorrow. I'm hooking you up big I'm at the hollywood suit outlet. You're at the hollywood suit outlet, but no not that you're just not at the hollywood suit outlet Let's see these are foreigners These those israelis we spoke about Those dark-skinned motherfuckers with the black feet you could a needle won't even go in their fucking skin They're those little mountain brothers. They got up there in israel They're there. They got a couple marminians. Listen, they don't want to lose the first go to the day

It's bad luck. You're the first go to the day So you're going in there with two bills in your fucking hand and you're gonna go listen. I'm looking for three-suit deal Okay, you're gonna go in there. You're gonna pick out three suits for two hundred dollars with a shirt And a pair of socks the socks you can light them on fire. They're polyester The shirt you might as well light that on fire too But what you're gonna do is bro You're gonna take the shirt and that's gonna be your alternative shirt like when you gotta do some stupid Anything you have to take the jacket off and just being people smoking pot. I take those shirts home

Those are utility white shirts to get a gray shirt because they give you three suits three shirts right and three pairs of socks and a belt for the small deuce And they trick you because if you go to the big six hundred dollar suits, it's the same two hundred dollar suits The guy he used to work there. He went somewhere else and he told me he goes when you go in there Just get the two hundred dollar suits They'll alter them for you while they're altering them for you in the back Whatever this the small 35 whatever it is Lee get a pair of shoes

Nice And while they're fixing your suits, you know what you're gonna do What you're gonna go to the fruit juice stand and get a little sandwich for eight dollars and fifty fans Now you're saying but Joey Why do I need three suits for because the number one suit you're gonna bust out tomorrow night The number two suit you're gonna bust out at the graduation And the number three suit is when you go away with it. So some other fucking events. You're gonna go Lee What the fuck are you John Gotti?

And you just like you're like a nice double-breasted fucking suit. You know I'm saying And it's and it's a utility suit Lee It's not like you're dropping 500 for a suit. You know lose 15 20 pounds and you look like a fucking moot These are throwaway suits. Believe me These suits I'll bust them out two times and one night I go to fart in the pants rip and I throw them right away They're no big fucking deal. They cost you what 66 dollars a suit So you really have no stock in them, but you got them in the closet. You look sharp and guess what? She's gonna expect for you to show up tomorrow looking like Lee

You're gonna bust out with a nice jacket a nice pink shirt Some to stand out with the mexicans, but who's that handsome little Jew with you a pink shirt Whatever you gotta stand out. You can't go in there with a white shirt looking like the rest of those fucking muts Right or wrong if not, they're gonna go. Who's this fucking mother? He talks about gluten He works on the podcast. Who gives a fuck you're gonna go out with them. You're the Jew in the house That mexicans wanted to be a Jew You're a Jew. They don't want to be attorneys Right or wrong. What the fuck we're talking about the apples and potato. Well

Absolutely It's all a runget. You're gonna spend 300. You're gonna make our world You don't look sharp You're gonna get a fruit smoothie with a fucking chicken salad sandwich with an avocado on it Who's better than you at like 10 in the morning? So who gives a fuck 10 in the morning? You're gonna get up tomorrow. You still got some of that. We left at the house, right? Hell, yeah, so you bang out two little hits. You don't commit because if you eat an edible That's a big commitment by one o'clock the highs are spinning in the air like they're spinning now

But if you take two little bangers on the balcony You're getting the fucking car you go down by the time you get down there by the time the suit's getting altered You walk a block and a half you put two more quarters in the meter It's two hour parking and you walk a block and a half you sit with the fucking spanish people from El Salvador You get yourself the sandwich and the smoothie and then you walk back. Who's better than you in the altar right there And you'll be right in the back like a doctor These aren't listen these are not okie dope people these people prepared for war. They want every dollar in your pocket Okay, you only give them the small deuce

You follow me So And then you're in your car by 12 you're back over the hill with the new shoes three suits Three shirts and two o'clock you're in front of your fucking nintendo preparing your speech Yeah, no, it's i've never i i've started to like lose some of the bellies When a fucking shirt now you look like john gotty. What are you fucking nuts? We got to get your little rug You know what i'm saying like i need a rug That's terrible

Just a little tube something a tube just a little tube to wear in emergency situations. You know what i'm saying Oh, do you know people who wear two-pays? I don't know them Listen, I couldn't have a friend that wore two-pays I gotta have a talk with you would have to grab it like if you ever saw today you have to play with that's disrespectful You can't grab somebody's fucking tube But you could talk, you know, no, no, no, I've never had a friend that had a tube I dated a girl that the father was the king of the wigs He'd bust out different wigs and get a look at them and make believe like, you know

You know You know, you want to eat a pussy you gotta say he's got a nice hand to me. You know what i'm saying? I want you to tell your father's got a fucked up hairdo. That's it. No more sucking sucking What kind of wigs wouldn't you wear like women's wigs? No, like men's wigs, but he fucking lost like the middle like he had the sides But some wigs he would wear they look like george jettson Some wigs he'd wear and they have like a deputy dupe. He had like two or three different wigs Oh

The thing is they come out and they think like you don't know Like you're playing a fucking joke on me. Like I don't know you have a fucking wig on If I put a wig on I go somewhere like deep like michael jackson deep Like michael jackson had a wig That was all a fucking wig. I didn't know that till I watched autopsy a couple weeks ago So you guys got to stop watching autopsy. That's the show on real tv They got everything they had jimmy hendrix dying on there what happened to him They had what happened to jim morrison. They reopened up the caskets everything

Do you know people are getting beard transplants now? Because like some hipsters are Unsatisfied with their beard. So it's like an actual medical procedure So what do you do? I think I think they probably do the same thing like they do for like, uh Like they take it from the back of their head. Maybe I don't know how to do the research, but It's it's an actual medical procedure. Let me tell you something. I'm not gonna lie nobody here When I was a kid I played football in the eighth grade just to get in shape

And to put tape on my fucking legs they told me how to shave my legs I shaved my hand my legs and my hand never came back I'm not a hairy guy at all. I got like three or four at my head. My ass is hairy I got a cup. I got a patch of hand on my left shoulder, but besides that I got no hand on my back I just I just started getting a year ahead now at 50. I'm not a fucking hairy guy But I gotta tell you something I couldn't fucking grow a beard Never if I wanted to

I don't think it grew a beard. How long you know me it would take me a month to get what you have on your face right now Yeah, I think that's normal. No I did you shave three days. You look like some fucking burglar I don't shave a fucking week. I get three little fucking cat hairs How long did it take you for the garage match? To grow that a month Wow, yeah, that's slow a month. I have no hair

So I get it. This is going the hairdo is going any day now. Look at it. It's going It's I don't give a fuck. That's fine. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. It's one me good. Listen I'm lucky a lot of guys, but if I was bald early on, I wouldn't have you're great. You you accepted it When I had that conversation with you three years ago, you were like, what? I was bald in high school. I knew what I knew what my fate was. You weren't gonna Did you had any time thinking about wearing a wig? Was there any depression in your life? No at all No, no, I'm not gonna get girls. Nothing. No, no, no. Well, I mean maybe that but that's I didn't have any control over it So that's that's something I like did you use proficient in the beginning when I was young

Did they give you a prescription for it? Or yeah, but then they found out that it kills your libido So they took me off it And it's kind of expensive and I tried the rogain. I tried everything but what's the rogain? Uh, I've done foam. I've done they have drops They supposed to put on your scalp a few times a day, but no one can remember to do it like I just And it did of course it doesn't work or I just it I love doing this now So like something I have to just get be better about

Shaving like every other day because sometimes it gets too long, but this is great And you're shaving the shower with the steam on no, I shower and then I see I got in shape. What are you retarded? What do you mean? No, you're shaving the shower get yourself a fucking mirror That doesn't fog up. Okay. Okay, and when you shave you you want your pores to be fucking open Yeah, so you throw that hot water in your fucking head. You're in there for a little while Right, you go in the fucking shower, right? Right and you take the the fucking shampoo first And you wash your hair And then that washes the fucking elements and it goes into your fucking body

Then you take your fucking toothbrush and you brush your teeth really fucking good in the shower. Fuck. Yeah, the water What toothpaste on your toes? I've come on my toes with toothpaste gonna do it What do you have against just standing at the sink? Because what do I want to get out for why am I gonna burn water two times? I'm in there already Let me bathe and everything so I just fucking hit those teeth harder the motherfucker everything above the back When I'm out there, I just do light brushes when I'm in the shower. I fucking take that stick I brush the back of my tongue. I almost choke I fucking the tongue everything

Then that comes out then I get the fucking condition I put that in my hair Then I get the loofa and I put the soap on the loofa and I loofa fucking everything to get all those dead molecules And all that dead fucking got skin off. I'm sweating coke from 1980 fucking four and chemicals and Fat and fucking chicken sandwiches and whatever the fuck I eat all those years And right now your pores are open You're open so right there boom you take that shaving cream And you wipe it you put it all over your fucking head. You don't need a mirror What mirror do you need right here? You just put like that

And then you just go to town You don't even need a mirror you just go back with the heat on the hot water is hitting your head your pores are opening up You got another little soap. It's an iris spring. You put a little polish in that motherfucker You come out you dry that little motherfucker nice You put a little fucking Greek grease on it or something whatever fucking you got to shine it up with some Cream right you put a little cream on your head Some aftershave on your head do who's better than you? But why are you gonna come out of the shower dry yourself and go through the process again?

I don't dry my head. I go I literally get out just and jump we gotta dry your head because the shaving cream won't attack the fucking hair follicles Won't you get my hair dry? Air dries. What are you air drying? I don't know. I'm fucking what is wrong with you. Are you it works? I don't know. I don't maybe I'm doing wrong In the shower it's one movement. That's it when you come out of the shower. You're done. You brush your teeth You wash your asshole. You shaved your head. You fucking took the dead man out of your eyeballs Everything one shot. Bam. You come out. You stick the

In your fucking nose. I had to break it. I got these white hairs in my nose and all this fucking Spray and steroids they gave me till they spray my fucking nose So now it's like I got blow around my nose people looking at me weird like I'm doing bumps Why are you looking at me weird fuck that second? I I've never thought about doing it. Like I know people do it, but I don't see you in the shower I just started shaving the shower 10 years ago. I'm no genius. I'm a fucking moron Somebody told me once they saw I was cutting they go. Why do you shave?

You're retarded shaving the shower with the hot water. It opens up your pores. It slides right through. It's a nice shaving cream Okay, I'll get them. You're gonna shine and you know, yeah one of those uh, no fuck Mirrors and they really fog up. It's a scam, but you just work with it Okay, all those no fog mirrors that piece of shit. I had a radio once it blew up. What the fuck Like one of those skateboards those black dudes on skateboards. They always blow Those things called the uh, the hoverboard. Yeah, they're made by the kkk those fucking things Have you seen the videos of them blowing up? Oh, please and black people always flying to the fucking air my shoes are on fire Those hoverboards a kkk propaganda dog. That's what those fucking things are

Unfucking mullible people blowing up these idiots driving down the street like this is happening People going on Jews on fire Jews on fire people going on fire in their houses So the one with the chicken on fire, but did you watch the tape the other day of the high school band or something? The dude the magician with the wand You know what happened I'm watching this news thing the other night Stoned to the girls. I ain't bothered nobody I'm sitting there all of a sudden like an eyewitness news and explosion of high school or something like that

It was like a pep rally And some dude was out there with sticks Foot fire and it hit some and it blew up and also you see some kid just go And just fly up in the air like he was on a On a on a fucking trampoline or whatever the fuck that was Jesus Christ Jesus Christ, that's the best thing you got to tell me Had a nice time with you tonight. It was nice to see you. It's gonna be fucking Easter this weekend. Steve Simone's making a lasagna

He's back from china. Oh, yeah, he had a great time. I didn't talk to him. I had he's a little sick He brought back the chinese flu. So if you see him, you don't want to talk to him Tom you're busy till tuesday Tell him to go drink some soy sauce or something get that shit out of this fucking system He brought that chinese flu back that you don't ever go away. That's why they walk around with the masks over there Oh Fuck I didn't know we got so when he comes in here. You got to fucking spray everything down and you know Wear like a repellent and keep the door open put them by the door

Don't let the aspetitos malos get in here on sunday. You know what I'm saying? You got to watch him get some light so I'll spray it save the receipt Okay, because I'm not we'll be getting that chinese fucking flu next thing, you know, you know I'm in a fucking hospital there Cough and shit. Nobody knows it's wrong with me. You know what I'm saying? That's fucked up The chinese flu. That's scary. Who the fuck knows leak, you know, I don't know if it's a chinese flu He called he could have caught on the plane and knew it. I'm just saying he was in china

And he came back and he got the flu. What is it? Who do you accuse? Who do you accuse? Probably the chinese okay, then what are you sitting there looking at me like you don't know what the fuck i'm talking about You know what i'm talking about cocksucker listen, man I got this company. They call me up with different fucking things You know half the things I tell them. I don't like what i'm doing guys. Come on. I don't want to fucking This thing, you know, I look at the web page. I contact my attorney. We talk about it. I talk to lee

You know, and we're like, I don't I don't This is an idea that I dig if you're a stoner do yourself a favor And listen up. Okay. I'm telling you right now. You got smart cars, smart phones, smart homes Technology has made everything smart, but losing your stuff still makes smart people feel really stupid I lose my shit one time a week whether it's keys. I always know I bring the wallet up from the car But I put it in different places. You're following me instead of putting it in one fucking place So I always know I bring that wallet up with me in the car I hold on to my wallet like a motherfucker

But sometimes I think it's in the bedroom And it's in the you know where it is in the bathroom of my shaving kit Because when I come in the piss I put it in there and it falls in and now I don't see it for two hours Ah Tracker makes losing things a thing of the past Tracker is a coin size device that locates miskeys wallets bags computers Anything in seconds just bear tracker to your smartphone Attach it to anything and find its precise location with a tap of a button. It's that easy, right?

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Just do me a favor go to the tracker dot com and get 40 percent off your first tracker device promo code church CH U R CH as usual On it always there for me. I still haven't gotten my my doce new whey protein yet I'm still waiting. You understand me. It should be here by next week So I can sample and tell you guys what I think. You know me when it comes to almond On it. I like the chocolate hem force. That's my protein every day two scoops of banana four ice cubes some water

Stop it a little Hershey's syrup in there Ba ba ba boom not a lot of Hershey's syrup just a dab just a little sugar after the workout No, just after the work you want to dab the sugar in there. It's not bad for you. Boom right down in there It's tremendous the strong bone come on the the the new uh the new mood The new mood they have the new move, but you know what they have now Oh my god, they have this new alpha brain You got to go to the web page Because I was reading about the other day and I didn't write anything down

I'm very sorry about that my own professionalism. Just do me a favor Go to on it dot com for the great list of supplements right now. Why fuck around Go to on it right now and pressing the code word church CH U R CH And get 10 percent off your first order delivered to your house talking about delivery to your house. Let me tell you something right A couple days ago. I got a box delivered to my house. They just sent it to uncle Joey from nature box This stuff was delicious And there's nothing like getting home and having a thing of nature box on your door

Nothing like it and it's when they send you like a surprise back Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, that's amazing because sometimes you could order what you want But sometimes they send you stuff that you wouldn't necessarily order But then guys like you and me smoke a joint we break into the bag And they're delicious. They sent me some french toast square just delicious type of stuff, all right You're trying to eat better But you think nutrition labels are confusing Naked nature box has a snack for that. They've taken out the guesswork and frustration and frustration

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The sesame sticks the salt and pepper Lentil loops. I love all this stuff. Do me a favor, right? Nature box makes it easy for you to find the snacks you want without questioning. What's in them? Plus they're constantly adding new and interesting snacks to for you to discover Nature box believes you should need something you don't like So if you try a snack, you don't like they'll replace it on your next box Bam for free can't do that with other snacks, you know You never get that

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I also want to thank nature box. I want to thank my main man cashus morris I'm also letting you motherfuckers know right up straight up and personal next thursday friday saturday Braya improv leo be there thursday night. Tommy. He's still be there. Johnny rock will be there We got a jack. I said urliano be there that fucking he's bringing the armenians So don't fuck around if you need a lexis come on down con suckers beside that I love you guys with all my heart. I'm also going to be in indianapolis and buffalo in fucking uh, april So that's it. That's all I got to tell you motherfuckers

Have a great weekend, and we'll be back monday night. All right I want to thank tracker nature box and on it one more time and my little brother Lee sciat for making this all possible This show was brought to you by tracker never lose anything again Get 40% off your first tracker device as a special for only listeners to this show go to the tracker.com and enter promo code church Shows also brought to you by nature box.com

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Oh Letters and snakes Letters give Snakes take Rich men pull man Beggar man thief Ain't gonna hope in hell That's my belief

Fingers Oh I'm going Oh You